Can you abuse methylene er

I have a bad habit of telling everyone I meet what happened to me in the past. Some believe my story some don’t but they always give me the you should have stayed there because you’re disabled look. I even got cornered by the cops for doing laundry at a laundromat the day after I had left the abuser. The cop thought it was best to send me to my mom but she’s not much better than my ex.
I went to a small town broke and they were very conservative so they were like how can a disabled guy be abused? They didn’t know I’m trans and one of the guys at the shelter called the cops on me just for being disabled. It was only because I was using my gps to find my way and looked like I was confused I guess. Most of the time I can find my way around with the help of the gps.
I mean i have hearing loss near sightedness and mild cerebral palsy but the kind where I can walk and take care of myself.
I’m so sick of being sent to people I don’t trust and don’t like anymore and I’m sick of the cops supporting the other person’s beliefs about me.
So how can I avoid these situations when I walk with a limp and can only use one arm well enough? Someone helped me realize I’ll be ok without my narcissistic mother or my abuser. But telling the truth gets me into trouble.
Most people mind their own business and leave me alone but there are still some old school people who think they are trying to help but are more controlling.

Warning this may be sensitive to others
I just turned 18 and I’ve been with this boy since I was 15 I lived with him back and forward and he abused me really bad he beat me to where my cheeks eyes and around my lips were purple he also busted my lip around half a month later forgive me for not remembering the exact date but he forced me to sexual acts to his dog which I did not consent to I was really scared but if I didn’t he’d state he would kill me so I performed various sexual acts on his dog and it traumatized because I can still feel and taste certain things from this dog now I completely am disgusted by dogs revolving around this 2 months later he tried to kill me he grabbed my hair and kept smashing on the corned of a wooden board I’m pretty you call them headboards but I remember while he was doing that I felt really weak and felt like I was going out but I remember him looking me in the eyes telling me you want to die I’ll just ***** kill you myself and he tried articulating me to death I do remember going out and I was to worried of hurting me but I kicked him as hard as I could with everything in me and I barely could do that because I had no ability while I felt myself going out but I managed to get him off during the three years I would consent to sexual acts with him but I would also during other times not consent but he was to angry when he was on street pills and hardcore drugs there was no stopping him he eventually got me into being a junky he’d always give me drugs and I could help but salivate when I saw them but purposely he has laced me over 4 times and I’ve overdosed countless times while we were together I was conceiving while all of this was happening he told me when my child was born he wanted to sleep with him or her and perform various sexual acts to our child and I told my family and they got me an abortion after the abortion I was destroyed because I wanted my child and I saw them take the life out of me but I could not have it because of him it was also a forced abortion but after my abortion I was told by the woman of planned parent hood I could not be sexually active at the time but when I came to his house he managed to get inside of me again without my consent and I was really weak because of the abortion it felt like I was being ripped but inside now he is in prison and they’re going to let him Out earlier a lot earlier than what I wanted and now I am fearing for my life because I have no gun no sources nothing I’m quite frankly scared and don’t know what to do because I don’t want the gang that he’s into catch me to I’m very worried but I’ve been dealing with sexual and physical abuse for half my life so I struggle with PTSD severely but after all of this happening recently I find myself getting worse and I don’t know what’s going to happen to me now if anyone has some advice this would be greatly appreciated

A lot of men these days don’t want to work hard to protect their women, they will abuse, manipulate and lie to us so they can justify them being lazy and weak willed. Why are we raising men like this? Fathers are encouraging their daughters to leave the home, get a degree and become career driven instead of pushing their sons to be strong men that want to protect women and femininity. We are seeing an influx of masculine women purely because they were raised with this hustle mentality, they’ve been told men aren’t capable of looking after us, that we should work twice as hard as men to be able to provide for ourselves. The typical villainising of ALL men is ruining this generation.
Do we as a society not need men anymore? Is this the agenda we are going to push?
I understand a lot of this comes from the economy, how the cost of living these days is horrendous. Many people can’t survive on one income, so for that I can understand. But there’s no denying that we are still failing our women by sending them to work. This also raises concern about materialism, if a man can afford to have somewhere to live with his wife, then that should be more than enough for them both. Stop chasing materialism in this life and learn to live humbly, then perhaps things would be easier. We need to raise our children to be humble and determined, not weak and shallow like so many people are today.
I have always been feminine, every time I’ve tried to work I end up leaving within a few months and then I’m severely depressed after. Why? Because I was forced to take on masculine traits completely foreign to me. Society tells me that wanting to be a homemaker is wrong and to that I say f off. Don’t push me to conform to this western mindset, I never will.
Alhamdullilah I get to be a stay at home daughter, my dad doesn’t want me to work if I don’t want to. That to me is a real father and a real man.
I have no shame in saying I am 100% in tune with my femininity. I have no interest in taking on masculine roles that are unnatural to me. If I want to continue to live like this, I need a man who’s going to take care of me. Why is it so shameful these days to say, ‘yes we need men to look after us’.
I don’t want to work outside the home, I want to be taken care of and protected by a good man. Is this a big ask nowadays? Why must I try to be forced to go out and hustle? This is not within my nature and I simply don’t have the skills to live like that.
What happened to men wanting to feel needed? Do men not feel like this anymore? Or is this masculine woman epidemic driving you to loath the idea of having someone rely on you?
I want to remain feminine and for that I need a man in my life to take care of me. Gender roles have worked for thousands of years, why are we suddenly trying to push this liberal nonsense about equality? No…we simply are not equal to each other and never will be. Equity? Yes. Equality 100% no.
These feminists don’t protect women, they instead are the ones abusing us. Shame on them for trying to steal our identity and warp it with this disgusting liberal ideology.
And men, if having a wife and kids is not the goal for you then surely you’ll lose yourself and become lazy. We are wired different, a man needs goals, needs a reason to keep going, needs a reason to do SOMETHING. Women are content slowing down and living in the moment, I’m happy with my life feeling like a peaceful, steady stream of water. I don’t want that to be disturbed. Me going to work? Now that’s going to make my life a violent river and that’s not how I’m supposed to be.
I don’t want to be told that this is a delusional way of thinking, that it’s all fantasy. You are wrong. I’m proud to be a woman and I won’t have these incel feminist contemporary libbed out fools tell me I don’t get to live the life I’m supposed to have.
Wake up and stop giving into this woke agenda, it’s tearing everyone apart.

My mother has lived in an abusive relationship for many years now, we live with my step dad, his two kids, me and my sister and my mum. Throughout the years my step dad has always mentally abused my mum with threats of kicking her out the house manipulating others around us and playing victim in many situations but recently he hit my mum, she was slapped around the face then pushed her against a wall and hardback sofa. The police were called and dealt with it and put him into jail for the night, when he came home the next day we all sat down and again he played victim and claimed my mum had been pestering him and was throwing his stuff, he did not take accountability and even after I asked him to say sorry to all of us he didn’t, tonight we sat down again and it kicked off once again my step brother went off on my mum saying she’s crazy and a bitch because of the way she treats my stepdad, he also went on to say my mum doesn’t pay any bills and contributes nothing to the house, but in fact my step dad was claiming universal credit in his and my mums name and keeping all the money he was using this money for paying the rent, the illegal part of this is he claims he isn’t working when in fact he is but due to him not claiming the invoices he receives from work it seems as if he is making £0 a month when in fact he makes over £5000 plus £3000 from universal credit, his kids also both get money from PIPS which they should not receive my step brother has dyslexia and step sister has autism and various mental health issues , they both get about £400 a month each, he claims my step brother doesn’t work when he does full time, and my step sister needs constant care.
The advice we are looking for is how we can leave this house my mum does not have much money and cannot receive universal credit due to my step dad claiming it all some charities offer housing but not for me (18) my sister (24) and our dog she has spoken to many women charity’s and friends from work for advice, another issue of us moving is my mums credit score has been ruined by my step dad to stop her from moving out due to this if she was to try rent a house they would most likely deny it as her rating is so low, my mum has become severely depressed due to the current circumstances and all I want to do is help her to be safe and leave as I’m only in the house 2 weeks of the month, and legal or general advice of what we can do will help, is there any law as that entitle her to the money she was not receiving I’m not too sure what to do and I know how helpful Reddit can be any help from anyone would be very appreciated
My mum has also looked into sites such as -women aid -Shelter Neither of which can fully help in the situation
Edit: my mum is currently on a waiting list for southern domestic abuse which rehoused a lady from her work this is who she believes will be most help to her but it’s going to take time, what I’ve heard is they are very good at being private when helping you to “escape”

Hi main account here and I really don’t care but long story short I work in nyc as a bartender and have been in the industry for almost 17 years. While I was working with this ”company” I had something happen to me that I never thought would happen. One of my managers works for a brand and also a full time salary employee. When I was casually speaking about entering a competition for said brand he literally slapped me. I was in shock. My first instinct was to punch them back full force but decided to keep my cool. Then a new manager came on and he’s very open about his sexuality and would call me pet names and answer to my questions with “yes daddy?” I was just disgusted. I’m not anti gay or anything either since I’m bi but just felt like enough was enough. Told them I wasn’t interested and a week gos by and he and another manager decided to say that they smelled alcohol on my breath and I needed to go take a blood test. I don’t have health insurance so that would have cost me 200 or more just to walk in. Money I didn’t have because I just got an apartment. They said it was my responsibility to pay for the test and since I didn’t pay for it I was terminated. Then I let the cat out of the bag and told hr everything and they just ignored me. Is there something I can do legally for physical, psychological and emotional abuse from this company? Also thanks for hearing me out if you got this far 🫂

Hello!! I need some advice please! A month ago I stopped taking Latuda and was feeling the worst sensation of energy and electricity running through my arms and chest, so much it felt like burning, and I was led to believe this was considered akathisia. The only thing was, I didn’t feel the need to move around or pace. I felt like I needed to lay as completely still as possible. It was so bad I almost went to the ER cause I thought I was gonna hurt myself. Now it’s been a month and it’s a LOT better and I can read and watch tv and be completely distracted and not notice anything. However, sometimes I still feel this kind of moderate tension in my arms. I feel the need to shake them loose and it can be bothersome, but nowhere near what it was a month ago. Does this still sound like akathisia to you? Cause sometimes I only notice it when I think about it, so I’m wondering if it’s just my anxiety? Could it be something else? Could I maybe be at risk for tardive akathisia since it’s been a month since I last took the medication and I’m still feeling this?

Thanks for this great post. There is a lot to unpack here.
I do tend to play devil's advocate a lot - not for the sake of "argument", but just to practice (and encourage the practice of) adopting different points of view. Additionally, I would say my experience has led me to a differing point of view with you, and that's okay. Ultimately, in this regards, I completely agree with WillingnessGeneral69 when they said...

However, here's my take. Not official AA or CoDA, but I like to think it's an experienced opinion.
OP said...

That is a natural and understandable interpretation of what is happening, to be sure. But I would respectfully disagree. It only reduces the person down to the disease or condition IF they let it. I could run down a list of dozens of adjectives, conditions or statuses that apply to me, but I am not just those things. I am not my name either, that name is a label or symbol that stands for me. All those things may be a part of my identity, or they may be passing coincidences. But none of them are me; I am a combination of those things, along with my past, my will, my mind, my body and my soul.
One of the purposes of the repetition is to try to fully integrate (or display that the integration has succeeded) a concept that is a very bitter pill for most people to swallow. It is natural for people to resist deep acknowledgment and acceptance of any condition that requires a twelve step program. And especially with the substance abuse 12-steps, if there is no deep acceptance (step 1), there can be no meaningful or lasting sobriety. It's acknowledgement that one's point of progress is greater than their disdain for the stigma of whatever the shared negative condition is. It's also a sign that one is more likely to be more accepting of those in the meeting, not putting up the barrier of "well, I'm not as far gone as you, so I don't know if I can get anything out of this meeting, or program".
Because plenty of people go to these meetings because they "might" be need help with... whatever the meeting is for. And alot of fencestraddlers are deep down, looking to find something that tells them... "see, I'm not like them, I don't fit in here, I can go back to doing things my way, and find a different solution to my problem". Looking for a justification, not a solution. Not everyone, but it's very common in my experience.
Or to put it another way, Step 1 can be thought of as "I can't", step 2: "He can", step 3: "I'll let Him". And when an alcoholic identifies him or herself at a meeting this way, he or she is telling the meeting "I'm not fighting it in that way we all do to an extent when we first come into the rooms". I do agree, it is a little less appropriate in CoDA than it is in substance based meetings - that is my opinion, as the codependent condition is notoriously nebulous. Let us not forget, this program was adapted from AA. I believe the founders endeavor only to modify as little as possible, only where needed. Just to be sure they don't change too much and lose effectiveness.
It's not meant to be identity defining, but it is an avenue of identifying with one another, and that's very important.
When one feels it is accurate and acceptable, it is good to put modifiers around it. I'm Rando, and I'm a grateful and happy Codependent. Or if we wanted to dabble in political advocacy... I'm Rando, and I'm a person in long term recovery from substance abuse and codependency. It shows a degree of triumph. A humble brag. It says "If I can do it, you can too."
By the way, I got that second one from the documentary "The Anonymous People", which focuses on addiction as much as it focuses on stigma, and stigma is sort of related to this convo, I believe. Free on kanopy.com, if your library district participates.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqoEtUn0Agw
https://www.kanopy.com/en/product/anonymous-people
For many, pride (or hatred of the stigma, and it's low status and perceived weakness) can be a barrier to acceptance. I've seen it happen to people.... and those people aren't with us anymore. Humility, much like gratitude, is developed with practice, and repetition.

That is interesting. Just to rule out typos... are you saying you removed the contraction (I'm/I am) and it helped your perspective in this matter? Not being sarcastic or judgmental, I'm just making sure I understand. If so, very cool.

I’m going down a rabbit hole on these two. I seriously can’t believe there’s not more posts about them? Does anyone have info on the golf ball story of Alexa gluing hair to Troy’s new balls or a screen recording? I seriously wonder how he is behind closed doors. Awhile ago she’d post about their marriage struggles and her inability to submit to him but she was trying. He gives off abusive vibes and she’s lost so much weight and always seems like a nervous wreck. Her oldest is timid and you can tell they’re going to teach them how to submissive women and their son a “strong man”. They posted they won’t push for college and multiple references about their young daughters being wives one day. Alexa doesn’t strike me as a follow gender roles woman but Troy does. Bizzare people

you realize I was always sincere and no, I would never play with your emotions like mine are often in agony from having no real ability to fully enjoy or find pleasure in anything and it last. What I've learned from encountering despair on the laundry room floor the fourth time (when I gave up) and after enduring what has been absolute mental torture by delusions, trauma, induced memories not of my own brains natural process, and with very little recognition of the present me that has managed to slip between the shadows of a makeshift consciousness that is very far from a ghost and very much seen clearly yet remains dismissed as does any expectations not my own. As the emotional delay is disorganized and the process constantly interrupted and no one understands, not even the terrorist inside my head driving me on the brink of collapse but resilience is learned through pain and the situations that create it and you, love, were the reason I tried, wanted to protect what I wasn't even sure of but had to stand in front of a faceless crowd and survive for no fucking reason until I pieced together more than I was prepared to handle as the metaphorical hell was beaten out of me until even now I'm only half alive. Then I lost you while the world lost me and I have zero intentions of returning to such a hateful and cold place now that my rage and sense of self is defined even more by the fucked up judgment of the only species that is a cancer to this space rock and my brain as a parasite to my cognitive function that has adapted to such environments and can sustain for no other reason than I can't die even now. I broke and realized I had no reason to try again after losing hope repeatedly until this excruciating traumatized internal dysfunctional dysregulated system is too far gone and too exhausted to give a fuck what you or anyone else wants and I'll sustain myself in this misery because here I'm no longer plagued by guilt or the blame or self induced shame I carried far longer than I should because I did learn the true meaning of love that my now shredded heart can no longer believe in anything.. even you. I want nothing to do with you or anyone else and would rather exist alone and be that person, the person who is stupid enough to say fuck you to a system designed for hatred and I accept this existence as nothing more than a goddamn waste and I won't be seeing you in another life, I'm done with them all and anyone in this one who dares to think I would succumb to their own actions of ignorance. I no longer choose to hurt for you or anyone else and they can inflict as much cowardly abuse as they'd like but I for the first time in my life will choose to feel like I actually am better than the treatment I was shown when I gave more consideration than I should have and that has already died. I am done.

I am in a position of great privilege where i'm able to find out things that most people can't find out. I'm also very experienced with women.
So, for starters, i have first hand experience with how easy to seduce women is even when they have someone. And i've actually done this in the past more as a sociological experiment. Like, that woman is married, i'm decent looking, with a good social media presence. How is it is for me to make her disrespect her husband? I was actually very curious about this when i was a bit younger because i wanted to know people beyond what they tell me about them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, i know you think of yourself as wonderful and super trustworthy. But i want facts. I want to find out for myself. I don't want your word. I was hooked on facts. I wanna get to know reality.
Results: Pretty easy. Most offer quite a bit of resistance in the beginning, but if you're good looking and good with words, you will get there. I'd say if i send 100 DM's to 100 girls that have boyfriend, i can get around 60 to talk in a way that's inappropriate for someone that isn't single. And the remaining 40 aren't necessarily faithful. Maybe they just didn't find me cute enough, or i didn't insist enough. Most of my approaches were weak on purpose. Very basic. Just so i can see how easy it really is.
When it comes to having a girlfriend, you are expected to be lied to. Period. You can't check her phone(supposedly) and modern culture tells you women can go wherever they want, have friends, go to clubs without you, bla, bla, bla. Most guys have no idea how their girlfriends use the simple freedom of having a device in their pocket that gives them access to the world.
"Oh, i just trust her!!!!!!! I'm very secure of myself!!!"
Good luck with that. You're probably being cheated on in a way or another. I've talked to a girl that was in bed talking to me and filmed her boyfriend literally on his computer with Reddit opened. She was bored af and made fun of him with me, a stranger. Zero respect for the person she lived with. And he was probably on Reddit being a good guy and telling people how secure of himself he is.
My girlfriend never cheated on me, THAT I KNOW OF. However, in the beginning she did lie about still living with her ex. They bought an house together but shortly after things went south and they were forced to continue to live together. She lied about it. I found out through questionable means i have. I forgave her, with the condition that she would never lie to me again. She promised she would never do it again.
I have real trust issues because i've had the opportunity to get to know people so incredibly well. Know their darkest secrets. So yeah, i check on her once in a while through questionable means and...she doesn't cheat(that i know of, but i don't know everything), but she still lies. She got together with her ex, although she promised not to do it, although she knows that would hurt me, and although she would break up with me if i did the same thing. Her words. It's not like i'm requesting something she wouldn't request of me.
I didn't even say anything right when i found out, but i'm very suspicious of everything she does. I'm controlling. And i call her a liar once in a while. And she just repeats she doesn't lie, and that i can trust her, bla, bla, bla.
Now, do i break up with someone like this? Do i accept to live in ignorance and let her do whatever she wants with me having no knowledge of things? Because that's what most guys do. Most guys are absolutely clueless.
I just know of so many women that cheat. Sooo many. It's just so common. And the more trust their boyfriends have in them, the more they cheat. I've absolutely detected this pattern. When a girl has a boyfriend that is super modern, liberal and has complete trust on them, that's when they go wild. On the opposite side, i've met some girls that simply didn't have the chance to do anything because the boyfriend/husband was on top of them like a Pitbull. But some still tried. They just had too much heat on them and had to abort.
My conclusion after years of getting to know people as deep as i possible can is that you can't trust them. You either have no relationship at all or you just accept your girlfriend is probably messaging some other guy. The only kind of solution to this would be to control her every movie and that nowadays is generally considered abuse.

Let’s talk about how our life saving medication is on hold because the neurologist was off by a month on the next scheduled visit. Also how pharmacists look at you like you’re abusing the drugs cause you tell them you ran out. Oh and that one time you had to go to urgent care to get refills for just one day so that you can make it to your appointment that’s on the next day. Have you ever had to resort to buying medicine in fear if running out cause of your neuro ?

This will probably fall outside of most people’s expertise as my son was born at 41 +4 (uneventful VBAC delivery), but I am at my absolute lowest point in my life and I am desperate for help/guidance/answers.
Since birth (8 lb 5 oz), my son has had tachypnea ranging from 60s-100s. It is pretty much constant. The only instances where his breathing falls within normal range are when he is in deep sleep and upright or on his belly. His SpO2 has remained in the mid to high 90s throughout. He has had 1 desat episode that I am not convinced was accurate. He does not appear to be working hard through these respirations. He has no nasal flaring. Physicians have noted very mild retractions but have never seemed concerned by them. He eats very often and has thus far gained weight very well. He is not great on breast, but drinks breast milk from the bottle very well. He has no trouble taking drinks in between breaths. He is very sleepy very often. At times, I have worried that he sleeps too much. We have been told ad nauseum that he “looks good!”
Here is a rundown of his work up to date:
HOSPITAL STAY #1, 1st week of life
My son was sent to the ER after his SpO2 was noted to be in the mid 80s at his initial pediatrician visit. I did not see a good waveform on this read and he was satting 98-100% on room air when he got to the ER. This is why I am not sure it was accurate.
The ER monitored him for a time and diagnosed him with a BRUE. We were about to leave when my wife noticed that he seemed to be passing out after runs of particularly fast breathing. This earned us a transport to a children’s hospital.
During this inpatient stay, he was cleared by neuro, cardiac, and infectious disease as causes of tachypnea. Our son underwent a 24 hour EEG, head ultrasound, EKG, echocardiogram, chest X-ray, and full sepsis work up. All came back negative. His brief “passing out” episodes resolved after a day. He received 48 hours of antibiotics to cover possible infection.
The only thing that was out of the ordinary during this stay was a mildly elevated lactate of 3.1. This led some physicians to suspect an inborn error of metabolism causing metabolic acidosis. This was horrifying as these diseases are often very severe. Oddly enough, however, they moved on from that theory the next day. We were told that lactate is a very nonspecific finding in infants. Our son’s ammonia level was normal which seemed to be the most reassuring data point to our care team. His venous blood gas was satisfactory. We were discharged and told that he would grow out of it.
Worth noting that he was on oxygen when he went inpatient and it did nothing to his respirations.
HOSPITAL STAY #2, 2nd week of life
I called our pediatrician when I noted a sustained tachypnea at 100 breaths per min. She told us to go back to ER. He was put on the monitor and was satting high 90s again. A lactate was drawn again in the ED which came back at 3.9. Terrifying! Or nothing? Inborn Errors of Metabolism were back on the table. An on call geneticist had the team draw a slew of metabolic labs that would take weeks to come back. We were admitted again, this time to the PICU.
EKG negative again. Lumbar puncture negative for infection along with blood and urine. LP revealed a negative lactate which we are told is a more reliable indicator for metabolic disease than the blood lactate. Brain MRI negative. Many viruses tested for and found negative. Another 48 hours of antibiotics just in case. Repeat CXR negative.
We started to notice some potential GERD, so we started Pepcid in the hopes it was causing the fast breathing. No luck. He did seem to perk up and look around more on his IV fluids which had dextrose in them.
We were discharged on the notion that there was no more testing they would do until the metabolic lab work returned, which would take weeks. Again we were told, he will probably grow out of it.
ER VISIT, 2nd week of life
Not a day after our last discharge, baby’s whole leg turned blue. We rushed back to the ER. His leg returned to normal color within minutes of us noticing. In the ER, his spo2 was high 90s with a normal heart rate (HR has always been normal). A repeat echocardiogram in the ER was negative. Acrocyanosis was diagnosed. This was probably caused by a temperature change. We have not seen it since. We were not admitted that night.
OUTPATIENT PROCEDURES/RESULTS, weeks 3 and 4 of life:
Metabolic lab work showed a slightly low carnitine, normal acylcarnitine, and a weird mixture of amino acids in the urine. The amino acids in the urine scared the hell out of us. I thought it was diagnostic of a metabolic disease. Our geneticist, however, said that she reviewed the findings with her team and it was deemed to represent an immature liver. She was not concerned. She believed that his liver would mature and the levels would normalize. She effectively told us that we could rule out metabolic causes at that point, but she offered genetic sequencing if we wanted to be completely sure. His newborn screening was completely normal.
ENT scope negative.
A chest CT to check for interstitial lung disease revealed these findings:
CHEST: LUNGS/AIRWAYS/PLEURA: The central airways are grossly patent. Mild hazy groundglass opacities could be atelectasis or mild pneumonitis, surfactant deficiency could appear similar. This appearance is generalized, and not specific to the right middle lobe or lingula (as can be seen in NEHI). Small lucency at the posterior medial right lung base could be small amount of air trapping or small cystic lesion measuring on order of 0.7 x 0.2 cm. This is the only well-defined lucent all focus which could reflect air trapping (no overall pattern of mosaic system to suggest air-trapping as can be seen in NEHI). No effusion or pneumothorax. HEART/VESSELS: The heart is normal in size without pericardial effusion. MEDIASTINUM/HILA: Limited evaluation of the hila without IV contrast. No obvious enlarged mediastinal lymphadenopathy. CHEST WALL AND LOWER NECK: The imaged thyroid gland appears intact. No axillary or subpectoral lymphadenopathy is identified.
Our pulmonologist called and said he reviewed the scan himself and that it was essentially negative. He started an empiric course of steroids which have not reduced the breathing rate. The steroids have, however, made our son much more alert and awake and attentive. He has been finding our faces and smiling. They may also been making his colic (yes he is a very colicky baby on top of all of this) a bit worse. We have seen him briefly lift his head off the boppy. We have seen him focusing on high contrast images.
His stools are normal. He makes plenty of wet diapers. He has good muscle tone. His overall condition hasn’t really changed throughout
My current concerns: Are we certain we can rule out metabolic disease? CT scan showed possible surfactant deficiency?? Shouldn’t we follow up on that? What else could this be? Neuromuscular disease? If it were to resolve on its own, when would that happen? My son is back to being very sleepy! Is that a brain process? Did we test too early? Is he going to start showing developmental delay?
I cannot eat or find a moments peace. If anyone has any light to shed, I would appreciate it so very much. Thank you.

Am I being too stubborn or something?
So growing up my dad has always been verbally abusive and sometimes also physically abusive. He has called me Useless, a dog, and a prostitute. He once told me that trash 🗑(garbage) is better off than me. I am 22 years old, I rarely leave the house to go anywhere, I don't party, smoke, drink, and I have no boyfriend. I don't go outside like my age mates. At home I babysit my 3 younger siblings, I cook, I clean the house, and I also have online school too. So back to the story.... my dad expect to say whatever he wants and you shouldn't take it to heart. I also have to add my parents are Africans and they believe that your parents can do or say whatever they want and you have to still respect them no matter what. My dad act's like this to everyone in house including my mom, he say's the most soul crushing things and you just have to " Get over it". Anyways 2 months ago my mom and dad were arguing like always and during the argument he called my mom Useless for supporting my older brother after he moved out. My mom cried and she said go will judge him.He didn't even say sorry or even try to take back his words. He said he was going to leave the house and never come back. So recently a meeting between my mom, dad, and some uncles( not blood relatives) was had and during the meeting they just gaslighted my mom into the idea that As a wife she shouldn't tell my dad what to do or what to say cause he's the man of the house. They also said that if my dad curses at me or my siblings my mom shouldn't say anything because it's between him and his children. The meeting was hard to listen to but I didn't expect much anyways, I felt disappointed 😢, I felt defeated, I felt as if I was let down by the adults in my life. Towards the end of the meeting my mom and dad made up. I should also tell you guys that after the fight between my mom and dad they didn't speak to each other for like weeks and my dad kept saying my mom is wicked and she is ungrateful..... so during that period I was able to get closer to my mom to console her, she will tell us how strong she is and how she will naver let my dad disrespect her anymore, she also said that my dad will have to apologize in front of everyone before they can ever go back to how they were before. I had fate that she will stand her grounds and not give in but after the meeting she did they went back like nothing happened, apparently he apologized to her in "private" even though he insulted her in public. Anyways now he wants to act like nothing happened, he's trying to be "nice". I told my mom that I want nothing to do with it,also told her that I have washed my hands of everything, I told her I don't care if anything happens I just what to be left out.The reason why I don't buy none of his kindness act is because I know he not going to change. I know my dad he's only going to be nice for 2 weeks and then the devil 😈 is going to be back. So am I the A- hole or am I being hardheaded for not being convinced that he has changed. I am hurt that nobody understands why I am angry and I feel like nobody has my back. What should I do?? Thanks in advance for all your advice!!💜💜

Hey... So I have a history of klonopin abuse (I don't abuse it anymore, I don't even have access to it) and recently self harm. I am not and never was suicidal. But she thinks I am a risk to myself because of those two things. I am terrified of death and don't see how I could ever take my own life.
She wanted me to do IOP to prevent a hospitalization because of those two things, but I am not going to kill myself. I tried IOP and hated it because it was just group therapy and I need something individualized because I can't talk about my problems all day in a group setting.
What do I do? :( I feel like if I continue seeing her I will be wasting her time. I don't know if any therapist will want me as a client now.
It hurts so much when a therapist tells you they don't think they can help you. But I understand where they are coming from. Maybe I'm just hopeless or too much of a legal / ethical risk. But I seriously do not want to kill myself.

I wasn't sexually abused (except perhaps mildly, with my mom giving me perverted looks, inappropriate touches in my puberty) but ever since I can remember, like before puberty, I was terrified of everything about girls being interested in boys, dating, kissing etc. When we had a sexuality class when I was 11 I thought I was going to puke because I was so anxious. I'm still this way today in my 30s, I've never been intimate or tried to be because of it. Everything about dating etc makes me feel like it's all about assessing the value of someome or where they are in the totempole of social status, and that some people are unattractive and unlovable.
I wonder if it triggers me so much because it reminds me of how I experienced love from my parents as a child maybe? Being shallow and something you had to "perform" to earn. It's just my belief, I haven't read enough about trauma to know.

Getting this out there to stop ruminating - hoping for helpful perspectives.
TL;DR My boyfriend has lied a lot about his ex, now says she raped him 6 times. I want to help him but I’m scared he’s lying.
I (29F) have been in a relationship with a guy I deeply love (28M) for a year and some months. I met him (let’s call him Charlie) around six months after a relationship I was in for 6 years ended in a way fitting for a Netflix docuseries, with me realizing I really never knew the man I was engaged to and had lived with for five years. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but Charlie came along and was really just gentle, and kind. There was no lovebombing, which I would’ve been really sensitive to, just easygoing falling in love. Things definitely moved quickly, but not in any overdramatic sense. I felt at peace for awhile.
I told him from the very beginning that I can’t handle lying. That he doesn’t even have to tell me the truth about anything - just please don’t lie to me. I had been so badly hurt and was trying to heal my ability to trust. And I understand that people lie sometimes without meaning to, to protect others/themselves, I really get it. Out of consideration for both of us, I set that boundary early so that if it was something he couldn’t do, he’d know I’m not the person for him and that’s okay. I just asked for the respect.
And I didn’t uphold my own boundary. That’s on me. I should’ve left at the first lie, but I just had this gut feeling that he really does love me. The lies mainly revolve around his ex (someone he was with for 9 months, around covid). Right after meeting him (2 weeks), he had lunch with her for ‘closure’, as she had just moved back from out of state. I had encouraged him to do this, because he had expressed not being sure if he’s over it. I really liked him, so I said hey, I totally understand, but I don’t want to continue with you if that’s an open door. Go see her, you don’t owe me anything but the respect of a clear decision. He went to have lunch and came right back, saying all the perfect things and grateful that he could now say he was sure.
A few months later, I started to notice inconsistencies about how he spoke of his past. This was really triggering to me, and he knew that. He went from saying she broke his heart when she broke up with him to he knew he never loved her while with her, found her unattractive and easy, and that they never spent time together. He said the entire thing was faked by them, made up to convince their friends and family that they were mature and had their lives together. He told me he was using dating apps the entire time, always to sext and snapchat other girls. He showed me the childishness of their texts, and I noted that he tried to initiate sexting and talked about sex a lot with her. She seemed disinterested, only really engaging for validation. It definitely did not read as intimacy, or like they knew each other at all. Just a lot of middle schoolish plays for attention and detached romance. Weirdly, he also told me that when they would talk about moments they shared, they had actually not even seen each other. The moments hadn’t even happened…he claims they were just cosplaying a relationship, essentially.
Fast forward - he went from saying that girl broke his heart when she broke up with him to that girl raped him multiple times. Now, big disclaimer - the doubt I am about to express is not by any means doubt that men are raped by women. I am a survivor myself, and know that victims and abusers can be any gender, size, sexuality, etc. I also know that the way victims cope can be denial, as well as many other things. But I am really afraid that my boyfriend is lying and accusing an innocent person of rape. He claims they had sex consensually one time and he hated it, and that the rest of the times there was any sexual contact (6 times), she raped him. He said she wasn’t a sexual person, and that it was always very matter-of-fact and business-like. That she didn’t make a sound, just started touching him - according to him, he’d say no and try to push hand away, but she would silently just continue. She would then straddle him, pin him down, and also get a condom on him at the same time? He says all of this was without a sound, just more forceful if he tried to push her off or get up. And this happened six times, according to him. He said each time he froze more and more.
I remember from their texts that she talked about how she feels bad that she never orgasms when they have sex, and assured him that only one guy in her past was able to get her off. And over text, he was always the one bringing up sex - sex they had (that he now says were complete fabrications, though she just played along), sex he wanted to have with her, etc. And she just seemed to put up with it at best, but mostly bored. He was the one who wanted to hang out with her, the main initiator of contact. And after the relationship ended, that was still true. He seemed to idealize her, kept reaching out, etc. She would either ignore him or react when she wanted attention.
Something just feels so off. He ended up retracting that she raped him, then said the retraction was a lie because he could tell I have doubts and just wanted to put my mind to rest because he knows it doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what to believe. I want to help him through this…but what if he’s lying? It seems he is a compulsive liar, and I’m just so scared of being hurt. Does anyone have any experience with any part of this?

I have 8 years of banking experience, 7 of those as branch leadership. Have won awards every year and had a great reputation. Recently my depression peaked due to the stresses on the job, particularly the constant verbal abuse from customers, and I decided to quit my job.
What career options can I now pursue? I have a degree in economics and certifications through banking. I would love something remote, and am open to getting certifications, but please not in the tech field. Thank you!

Hi I am new here. F 25 . Looking for help. Today I got my diagnosis from a clinical office. I have bipolar disorder 1. I am very new to this. They are prescribing me Lexapro 10 MG & Abilify 5MG. To give a background quick topic I have PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I was sexually molested as a child growing up, grew up in an abusive home, and whole lot of shit. I recently went through a break up (Jan, 2024. She broke up with me) and my ex had BPD. I also have fear of abandonment and I tend to have episodes whenever I am in high stress or depressed. I tend to get way more depressed and I have a hard time to open or communicate with my feelings when I feel like my feelings don’t matter. I tend to bottle up a lot of my emotions to the point I will have an episode or suicidal thoughts/ attempts would happen. I also have trouble with believe the good positive comments that are towards to me and I feel like it’s a lie. Example “I love you” or “you are doing a great job at work!” And my brain won’t accept that, not sure why.I have been with my therapist for 4 years and she recommended me with medications, so she referred me to the clinical crisis office. At first the office said I may have signs of BPD(I also had an ex who have BPD , it’s interesting lol) but now it’s Bipolar Disorder 1. So I am afraid of taking the medications, can someone tell me the two medications I will be taking have side effects? Is it bad or does it help? I need some advice where do I go from here and how can I get better?

Hi ladies, hoping someone in here can give me some advice or words of encouragement because I’m kinda freaking out.
I’m on my second round of stims for an egg retrieval. I have severe DOR and am a poor responder to high level dosing so we’re trying low dose this time and I’m responding well but my question is:
ER 1: measured only two follicles, highest estradiol level was 274 at my last appt before ER (stimmed for 12 days).
ER 2: I’m on day 6 of stims and we measured 5 follicles today (woohoo, was so excited for this) but my estradiol is only 40. I googled (ugh) and it looks like estradiol can be related to the amount of eggs you have … does that mean my 5 follicles might not have a single egg? Is there still hope??
I hate this shit, this is so unfair..

I AM NOT OOP. OOP IS u/BabyBaconBits
Originally posted on relationships
Content warning: blood
1 update - medium-ish
Original Post (recovered with rareddit) - June 4th, 2024
Update - June 6th, 2024
My husband keeps telling other people about my periods
I (31F) am married to my wonderful husband (35M). We have also recently become first-time parents to our beautiful baby.
My husband is pretty much perfect in every single way...except for one, recurrent issue. He keeps telling other people very sensitive information about my gynecological health. Examples of this include: - Telling his mother details about my menstrual cycle - Telling his male boss when I was diagnosed with uterine fibroids - Specifying exactly what kind of doctor's appointment we are going to (IUD insertion) when asking his mother to babysit for us
I have told him that him sharing this kind of sensitive information about what is going on in my pants bothers me, and he has apologized every time. This morning though, he did it AGAIN.
I had a very severe first postpartum period last night, so bad that the health line nurse recommended we call 911. It was so bad, I was almost fainting from blood loss. I refused to go to the hospital, but my husband took the day off work to stay home and look after me and the baby today. I am still feeling weak and dizzy today, so I appreciated this.
HOWEVER, this morning over breakfast, my husband mentioned that he had explained why he wasn't at work to a male coworker over text. As in, he had described exactly what was going on with me, my fibroid issue, the bleeding, everything. Bear in mind that I have never even met this male coworker, and certainly wouldn't have shared this kind of information with him of my own volition.
I got upset, my husband apologized, familiar scenario yet again. I get it, he feels good commiserating about my admittedly very stressful and difficult to manage 'lady problems' with his married coworkers and his mom. It helps him cope, especially after a night spent trying to decide whether I need to be rushed to the emergency room. Still, I AM NOT COMFORTABLE with strangers (or his mother!) knowing the details of what's currently happening in my poor, malfunctioning uterus.
So, am I justified in getting increasingly more irritated and upset with my husband every time I find out that's he's been discussing my gyno issues with other people, even though he says it helps him decompress/explain absences from work?
How should I handle this situation?
Tldr: My husband keeps telling people details about my period problems. Am I justified in being upset, even when he's supporting me through these issues?
Edit: My husband is not autistic, nor does he have ADHD. Normally he is quite good about not sharing something once I tell him the subject is off-limits. For some reason, he just doesn't seem to be able to get on board with the idea that anyone should find this kind of information embarrassing or invasive.
Relevant Comments
[Comments are quite varied. Many are very harsh about husband, some mention reddit classic of divorce. A number of commenters helpfully advise OOP to start telling everyone that her husband has ED, diarrhea, shits his pants, etc. ]
OOP has a conversation thread with MadameWaste
Jesus, these comments. If he needs to talk to someone so badly HE should see a therapist.
Your medical information is literally that, yours. It's a breach of trust to talk about it without your permission.
If this was a post about a wife constantly talking to her female coworker and father about her husband's quick ejaculation or impotence, I'm sure people would be defending him. Father-in-law casually bringing up his medical issues, "Hey champ, heard you're having a little problem downstairs. Don't worry, my plumbing ain't what it used to be." Yeah, I'm sure that seems totally okay.
That is EXACTLY what this feels like! 😂😅🥲 My MIL has literally tried to bring up the volume of my period flow and make recommendations regarding it, after my husband over-shared with her. To say this made me uncomfortable is the understatement of the year. And the thought of his male coworkers knowing similar details makes me want to crawl into a hole and grow moss. 😶‍🌫️
I would never be able to go to a work event if my husband told his coworkers about my vagina in any way, and I'm not a very prudish person at all. I just feel like your personal health issues are your own unless YOU choose to disclose them. That's literally why HIPAA* laws exist in the first place.
That's what I told my husband this morning; that I am officially never going to any of his work events, if this information about my gynecological health has been shared around his office. He seemed startled, but also kind of like it was starting to click just how unhappy I was that his coworkers are privy to my personal info.
I totally get it, I would feel prejudged and so exposed. Like a specimen on a table. In a room full of strangers who know intimate details about my genitals. That's some horror movie shit, honestly lol.
YES. THIS. EXACTLY THIS!!! jumping and waving and pointing at this comment THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL, and I just wish there was some way for my husband to vent and process his feelings without spilling the scariest and most vulnerable moments of my intimate health to total strangers/my lacking-in-boundaries MIL. 😵‍💫
Update - 2 days later
Okay. Wow. My original post devolved into a mess of...something.
So first of all, a few extra things to clarify:

• Yes, I understand that refusing medical advice to go to the hospital carries risks. Where we live though, unless you are literally on Death's doorstep, you will wait 12+ hours in an ER to be triaged. Sitting in a growing pool of my own blood, with our baby, in a crowded waiting room, did not sound like a helpful place to be. Especially since I already know what's wrong with me (I'm 3 months postpartum with large, symptomatic uterine fibroids) and no, I am not open to the possibility of a hysterectomy at this time. I want more kids.
• No, my husband is not autistic, narcissistic, or in any other way developmentally or emotionally limited. Neither is he abusive. Jeezus, people, now I'm offended FOR my husband.
• No, my own family does not live nearby. During the fallout of my traumatic labour and emergency C-section, my MIL and FIL were literally the only family support that we had on-scene. My MIL definitely has a habit of being a chronic over-sharer with much fewer personal boundaries than me, but she 100% means well. Even though it makes me a little embarrassed when she does things like send over various herbs and teas with FIL, along with detailed instructions on how to use them for 'menstrual problems', I also get that she's doing it from a place of caring.
• Yes, husband and MIL are chronically up to their eyeballs in each other's lives. Always have been, always will be. He is an only child, and she was a single teenage mother when he was born. Plus mothers being super involved in their adult children's lives is a bit cultural for them. Do I sometimes wish he would share less about our married life with her? Heck yeah! Is that a hill that I can/will die on? Nope. I knew this about my husband when I married him.

So...
The suggestions on my original post ranged from helpful (clarify boundaries, seek support, see the issue from both perspectives) to, frankly, toxic and abusive (spread his personal medical information around publically, berate him, insult him, leave him in the dark about my health status, and my personal favourite, threaten to leave him).
Y'all, this man literally does everything and more for me. He held me through serious prenatal/postpartum depression, drove me back and forth across the city to seek help for my issues, sits up with me at midnight on the bathroom floor to ensure that my bleeding eventually stops during an episode, stays home with me when I'm anemic to watch over both me and our baby, changes diapers, cooks me food, lets me dictate the pace of our postpartum sex life, checks that I'm taking my meds, does all the heavy-lifting housework, tells me he loves me, reassures me, comforts me...
Does this give him a free pass to discuss my gynecological issues in public? No.
So, he and I sat down yesterday and established clear rules. He officially has my permission to discuss my Lady Problems with the one other lady of importance in his life...his mom. It helps him process after a scary episode (he admitted to crying out of fear for my safety after I finally fell asleep following the latest bloodbath), and his mom is our biggest support.
As for work, he is to say that "My wife is struggling with postpartum medical issues." No less, no more. If his boss needs further info, we will have my midwife draw up a doctor's note. My husband agreed to this, apologized, we kissed and made up. I also promised to remember to take my iron pills. Because anemia.
As for me, I learned a valuable less here. Be careful soliciting advice from the internet, because everyone will bring their own baggage to the issue. It's a little concerning how quickly so many people will figuratively advocate for flogging a loving husband in the public square, just because he's not handling a single issue perfectly. 💔
Thank you to everyone who gave constructive, thoughtful advice.
tldr: My husband and I talked, clearly established boundaries, kissed and made up. Reddit is nuts.
Relevant Comments
grumpy__g
Didn’t you mention that you did all of that before? And that he again and again ignored your wishes?
While I had grumbled and expressed that I didn't like other people knowing about my gyno issues, I hadn't actually laid down clear Yes/No boundaries and established a script that my husband could use.
Now my husband knows exactly who he can and cannot discuss my issues with, and what to say to people whom he cannot elaborate with.
Good. Let’s hope he understands this time.
I stand with my advice to not tell him anything till he learns. But also to tell him that you would do the same to him and to see how he reacts/would like it. Not that you really should tell people about his problems.
cartoonist62
I'm glad you've found a solution you are happy with. But please, talk to your doctor about iron infusions. Supplements are fine for normal anemia, not for people with chronic bleeding conditions like this!
Thanks for the reminder! I actually did get a series of IV iron infusions in the final weeks of my pregnancy, because my anemic fainting was to the point where my husband couldn't leave me unsupervised. 😱 Might be time to go in for another infusion...
Some commenters feel called out and have some thoughts about that
Redditor A
You also this audaciously rude in person, or do you keep your “oh my you broken people” schtick to Reddit? Those people were outraged on your behalf, god forbid.
Just say thank you for the free advice you got from the internets that solved the issue you couldn’t on your own, OP.
Redditor B
This post is so weird. I’m sorry you found it so upsetting that people were upset and worried for you. They came to that conclusion based on your own description of your husband’s completely inappropriate behavior. But you’re right, everybody else is the problem, not you, not your husband who talks about your vagina to his boss. That’s totally normal, respectful husband behavior!
Redditor C
Wow. The way you viciously attack and judge well-meaning strangers on this platform is appalling. Ok, Karen. We get it. Your clueless husband is not abusive and in fact he's a downright saint 😵‍💫.
Marked concluded per OOP.
If you have comments, keep them HERE. DO NOT brigade over to the original post to comment. DO NOT harass the OOP with dms or replies.
Remember- stay safe and rotate your tires every 5,000 miles or per manufacturer recommendations.

I 16M, and my brother 15M live with my father 37M and it is a living hell. My brother and I are in a group chat with our mother who was kicked out of our property thanks to my father with their ongoing divorce. Their divorce started basically because of my father's binge drinking and he would begin to lash out at my mom and just act useless and be deplorable. The sad thing is, is he thinks he can spend money to buy me and my brother's love (Fortnite cards, video games, etc). He even pretends to be sugar sweet when in reality he sends my mom horrible messages basically demeaning her as a human being. He always needs to be in control, like with money, clothes you wear (if they're dirty or not), and what you do in your day to day life. As I'm writing this he invited people to this "cookout" with relatives from his side we resent, (uncle, aunt, cousin, and grandma). He also texted me saying "Yeah, I really can't, bud. I have my bosses out here and I need to impress them." when I asked if they could tone things down. He also has a disabled brother with autism who is non-verbal, and cant do anything for himself, (clothing himself, bathing, etc), and he, and my grandma just leaves him in the house whenever he has guests, completely disregarding his needs. Not only that, he gets mileage checks to take him places, but all he's ever at is his home because he doesn't take him anywhere. I barely use Reddit, I've talked to my mom about reporting him to the police for what he's doing to me and my brother emotionally, but I know if I were to do that, I'd be in foster care, and I don't want that at all. He has made Facebook statuses about women he'd like to have sexual intercourse with, while he was married to my mom, and he completely disregarded their marriage together at times. He treats me and my brother like we're toddlers for no reason, even though I'm 16 and he's 15, he hasn't worked a day in his life; when he was married to my mom, he'd usually dump his brother on her, and make her watch him even though it's his job. My mom now lives multiple towns away because of his antics of all of these factors, I have a high reputation in the small town I live in, I played football and basketball for my high school, and pretty much anyone in my town knows my name. Anytime halftime would come around playing football, he'd sneak away to go drink beer. This isn't the NFL, you can't be drinking at a high school football game. I'm thinking of starting over, and moving down to where my mom is at, train for football and basketball, get a part time job to pay for a car and my probationary license, and graduate in a different high school because that's what my father has caused me to think like. I've even had thought's of suicide because of how he treats my family; a year prior to all of this my grandfather died of leukemia, and he puts all of his drinking on that, he claims he's never done it before that, but he's asked me for so many years to fetch him beers. You know the "When son won't fetch me beers" meme? I don't even find it funny because of what feels like trauma hits me. It gets worse, he even said I'd be a good bartender even though I hated dropping everything I'm doing to fetch him beers. Some nights it got so bad, I'd have to give him two at one time. He has also talked behind my mom's back to her parents, and now they won't even talk to her. But enough about my father, let's talk about my "relatives".
First: My grandma. She is just as if not worse than him. She is a narcissist, she does Christmas as bribery for putting up with her narcissism, and if you don't do anything her way, she takes a present away. Not only that, but she hated my mom for many years as well (underpaying her, kept her away from my disabled uncle, etc). She is also very disgusting, she pees and poops in her pants, and doesn't bother to change. She laughs it off, like it's a big game, and sits in it. Her and my father died laughing as I was holding their closet door shut trying not to get scratched by their cat they pick on as well. She condones homophobia, racism, and transphobia, she always thinks you're lying when something needs to get done with her life. She claims to be a Christian, when in reality she cherry-picks The Bible. She also has disowned my transgender cousin who identifies as male, saying how "it's the devil's work on why he's transgender".
Second: My uncle. He is a failure. He has 5 children, 4 of them are with his current wife (my aunt) and they all hate him. He cut off his first born daughter and grandchild, only God knows why, he drinks, he says racist slurs, he pretty much discriminates everybody, and his opinion always needs to be heard, and it's usually about politics. He also disowned my cousin who happens to be transgender, which is makes him a horrible uncle to him
Third: My aunt. She is such a backstabber, she literally can't say anything to your face, she can't discipline her kids, she's a failure of a mother, together, her and her husband (my uncle) go bar hopping to let their kids (my cousins) "raise themselves" and she claims my mom has abused my uncle while taking care of him in place of my father. She, like my uncle, and grandmother, have also disowned my transgender cousin, and misgender him on the daily and dead-name him.
Last but certainly not least: My cousin, (a different cousin). She is a recently graduated high school student and has her whole life ahead of her, but instead rather tries to spy on my mom, and try to "relate" to me and my brother, when there's nothing to relate to only that her parents are divorced as well. Young and impressionable, but decides to throw her life away for alcohol and parties.
So in conclusion, my father's side of the family are hateful, bigoted, and live by their own rules based on their narcissism. They don't care if you're disabled or not, they don't care if you have a different opinion because it's always wrong and they're always right. You can't do anything, wear anything unless it's father approved, and you can't buy anything within a certain budget because he has to control money as well. My grandma has to have Christmas AKA the bribery for her narcissism and is probably worse than my father in terms of bigotry; disowning my transgender cousin, and cherry picks Bible verses on her day to day life.

I'm Male 27 I am 5 foot 7 I am 185 pounds
I have asthma and GERD, but haven't had an episode in years
I have been losing weight since October 2023 (was 220 pounds)
I do not have high blood pressure, diabetes, or other conditions.
I am very physically active (I am on track to have walked/jogged 50 miles by this Sunday)
I started drinking at 21 but it wasn't regular and was relatively rare since I was working full-time and going to college.
At 23 I started to drink on weekends. It started off at one bottle per weekend, usually drunk in a single day. Then it got to be a bottle on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday during the pandemic.
I weened myself down to a bottle every weekend. By bottle, I am referring to a 750 ML wine bottle with ABV between 9.99% and 13%. I had periods where I didn't drink for a week or so and I believe I had a month or two where I didn't drink at all.
For the last two years I have been drinking a pretty regular amount. I had 3 weeks this year where I had more than 14 standard drinks (not back to back), but usually I was 10 standard drinks or less for the week. I also had 4 weeks (3 back to back weeks, 1 isolated week) with 0 alcohol consumption.
I had blood work and a urine analysis in late 2022 and I had no signs of any disease or liver damage. The only thing my primary care doctor observed were slightly lower than normal potassium levels (I was physically active but eating pure garbage), and advised me to eat more fruits/vegetables with potassium but was unconcerned.
My primary care doctor does not think I have abnormal drinking since I only drink a bottle over the weekend. He did advise me that this is less than ideal, that the healthy amount is 0 per week and that I should split it up into 2 days vs just a single day, but said it was unlikely to cause me problems.
I did see an ER doctor when I had chest pains last year (it turned out to be a pulled chest muscle that I recovered from), he did draw blood and didn't find anything. I took the chance to ask him about my alcohol consumption and said that my drinking would be about 6-8 standard drinks per week and I would be unlikely to have liver failure if I stayed at that level.
I am from the Southern US and I am surrounded by people who either drink constantly (as in having hard liquor, beer, etc) every single night and can barely function, or people who shun alcohol and believe it is a sin. As a result, I was constantly surrounded by mixed reactions to what I drink. It doesn't help that I went from lower class to middle upper class and all my colleagues/co-workers love to go to wineries, craft breweries, or tend to drink a lot in general.
I discovered that my estranged grandpa died of cirrhosis at 68, but according to my aunt, drank heavily every day for 50 years before he died from it. I don't drink every day, I only drink a single day and I've never driven drunk, I don't have hangovers, and I don't feel better when I go weeks without drinking.
I like the taste of wine, I like going to the winery for an outing, it's not uncommon to have business meetings at a winery, and I like the way wine makes me feel; but I am worrying that I am secretly hurting myself in a way that I will seriously regret in 10-20 years.
My main concern is that technically drinking 4-6 standard drinks in a single day is considered binge drinking. I even lowered my wine to 9.99% to roughly 4 standard drinks vs 6 standard drinks.
Will drinking 4 standard drinks once a week, on weekends, really cause me liver failure ?
I usually drink with food (no empty stomach), and over the course of 2-3 hours.
This might sound rambling, but I am completely clueless on this. I can find literature that says your liver can completely heal if you stop drinking for 1 to 3 weeks, some literature says that drinking more than 2 drinks in a day causes permanent damage, etc.
Any advice is appreciated, thank you.