Russian things that start with c

helllooo, i'm cupid. i'm a bit lost on friendships rn. i tend to want connections so badly & then my mental health dips, i panic + pull away. so, here i am -- trying to fix it. lemme show you. if you're curious about my face, let's get it out of the way now, this is me, the red/black split dye is the recent version of me.
if you're someone who wants a person who'll nurture you, i'm her. i will water you like you've never experienced a single drop of water in your life. i will tell you when you're wrong & i will stand up for you when i believe you to be right. i am wholeheartedly involved in my friendships but i just struggle with the feeling of being terrified to be connected to people. past friendships [& relationships] have left me scorned.
i will genuinely offer you diamonds in the form of friendship, just reciprocate it. i will offer you the safest, most non-judgement free zone you can imagine, you are always - always, safe with me. i just ask that you are a good, kind, compassionate friend to me. you can literally tell me anything in the world and if it isn't hurting anyone else, i will listen without judgment. i promise you. i'll also send you spotify songs that i really enjoy, so again - hi. hello.
i'm smitten with people who are weird but not weird enough to make others uncomfy, or unable to enjoy the weirdness, ya know? i know you know. i like people who are into things that others mostly aren't: tarot, astrology, deep conversations, things like that. i might not actively be participating in said things but i like hearing the perspective of people who are! my friends always joke that i'm the person people say "i can fix her!" about but uh, i'm awesome. i don't need fixed. ✨ i adore social connections but i do come with a social battery and it needs refilled. me needing that time does not negate the connection i have built with you and am nurturing with you. i am trying my hardest to maintain friendships, so please give me a chance.
on to the fun tingz (and the stuff that will hopefully bring you in),

• watching my first ever anime, try to guess it [let's pretend my first actual one wasn't death note & that it wasn't the live action] -- most people love the "blue eyed handsome one"
• i'm the best wingman, hypeman & support team all in one
• horror fan through & through, but honestly, i prefer them less gory now lol, especially emotional horror
• cat loverrrr but will accept your frog [& all other animals] - so send pics. stat.
• known for dirty looks when i'm dissociating but i'm really just so focused on not existing
• graphic design major who switched to cybersecurity & will be starting this month, wish ya girl luck 💅
• gamer [valorant, ow2, cs2, hunt: showdown, pummel party, modded Minecraft, modded stardew,++]
• i don't play league, my mental health is terrible enough, thank you. i also don't play wow, my attention span could never. i do, however, play valorant because i don't like myself that much. i got you there, didn't i?
• loves to make make random noises but forgets my krisp isn't on
• mexican food 4 ever
• someone give me a banh mi please, they look so good, i'm desperate
• spotify songs are a love language, so lemme recommend you something

i am ✨sPiCy✨so if that bothers you, i am sorry. i, again, am a genuinely kind person but i do have a snarkiness to me that is meant to be a slight "i love you" + dash of bully. ❤

So, I'm trying to learn the jungle role.
I'm not playing ranked yet. In quick matchs the ranks of everybody is very mixed: last game my top was plat and the mid was bronze, while the enemy mid was Emerald and his top was Unranked.
I feel this pressure to do things alone, as if my teammates want me to do the main side objectives (dragon, grubs, herald) and not interfere with their lanes. But these objectives are a team effort, no?
If you start one of these objectives solo you are now in a very dangerous position because you will be lower health and have a huge monster attacking you, so, if the enemy jungler finds you, you are most likely flashing away or dead. Now the enemy will finish the objective for you.
So, right now, what I try to do is path towards the objective in my stronger side. So, if my top is winning, my mid is in a draw and my bot is losing, I would path towards grubs/herald. Maybe I will even try to gank mid to guarantee the advantage.
The reason why I'm asking this is because, in this last game I mentioned, the Sion that was top (and was supposed to be plat) told me "just do them" when I pinged the grubs. He was winning his lane and had his wave shoved into the enemy's turret. Mid was in a draw. So what happened was that, as I started it, Wukong showed up and I fled. Wukong kept doing the Grubs as I pinged and was joined by the enemy's mid (who reacted first than mine) and later by his top (who also came first). They finished the objective.

When i say 'container' in the below, i mean any food prep container. Could be a pie plate, a ramekin, a pyrex measuring cup etc ...
If you cook, you know how annoying it is to take a kitchen prep container that already contains food, and realize you can't weight the amount in the container without dirtying a different container
... or maybe you started to prep food and put food in a prep container and then realize, just a second too late, that you forgot to tare your kitchen scale with that container so now you just can't weight just the food you put in the bowl
So, invest in the time of your future self, and take 20 minutes, pull out your kitchen scale, a pen and paper, and jot down the weight of all the containers and prep utensils that you commonly use in cooking. Put that list in your phone, for safe keeping. Perhaps print it out and pin it inside one of your kitchen cabinets.
Beyond prep bowls, don't forget weighting things like:

• pie plates
• Your liquid measuring cups
• Your food processor bowl and/or your mixer bowl
• Your dry measuring cups (if you ever use them beyond their use for measuring fluid ounces/ milliliters, you'll be happy to be able to weight the cup and its content and know the _weight_ of the content)

If this is relevant because you live in country where you can encounter the metric and imperial system: Suggest you use excel / google sheet and record everything in grams and then use a conversion grams ounces (divide grams by 28.35 to get your ounces) ... but really, store at least one of these weight measurements and you'll be able to sort it out later ...
Don't forget to update the list when you acquire a new food prep item that you may commonly use to prepare meals!

Ok, I know how the title sounds, but before ya’ll grab your torches and pitchforks, let me give you some background info. Also, sorry that it's a long post.
I (35 female) met my husband (40 male, we’ll call him Chris) 11 years ago. We were both still in the party phase of our twenties at that time. We drank excessively, sometimes used recreational substances, and had jobs where that sort of lifestyle was common (I was a waitress, and he worked at a pawnshop). During this time, my money was never well spent (obviously), and I got my car repoed twice, and had to move in with him to survive. This really made him reevaluate our current lifestyle.
Chris dragged me into a healthier lifestyle kicking and screaming. I still wanted to party, but I didn’t want to lose him. What we didn’t know at the time is that I had undiagnosed severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. The party lifestyle was my way of self-medicating, and we didn’t find this out until much later.
I ended up getting a job as a medical assistant, and he finished his degree and got a government job. We moved across the country, got married, and had a baby, all while I didn’t really have a solid grasp on my mental health struggles.
After the birth of our daughter, I realized that I still had a lot of work to do in order to become the mother that she deserved. I finally saw my doctor about my struggles, got into talk therapy, and was placed on medication. It took a couple of tries, but I am finally on a good regimen, and my mental health is better than it has ever been.
I also took the birth of my daughter as an opportunity to quit my job and start working on a degree of my own. This is where the roles in Chris and my relationship started to become a problem.
As soon as we discussed my plan to go to school, Chris took it upon himself to find a college program for me, and he picked LPN (licensed practical nurse). I explained to him that while I wanted to stay in the medical field, I didn’t want to move into the world of nursing for a variety of reasons. He insisted that it was the best choice for our family, and that I would love it.
I told him that I really didn’t think it would suit me well, but that if he really wanted me to go into nursing, I should try to become an RN, because the pay would be better, and the training would be more comprehensive. Chris disagreed and said that we couldn’t afford for me to be in school for that long.
I really didn’t want to argue with him, and I felt myself shutting down, which is what I’ve always done when presented with conflict.
Day after day he would ask me if I had contacted the school he picked, or if I started the registration process. This constant pressure also made it very difficult for me to move forward. But finally, one day, while he was at work, and our daughter napped, I looked through the different programs available at the school that he picked. I found radiology technologist, and this quickly caught my interest. I called the school, scheduled my placement test, and was put in touch with who would end up being my advisor.
When Chris got home, I told him about what I had accomplished, and how excited I was about this particular program. He looked confused, and said something to the effect of “But I thought you wanted to do the LPN program? When did you change your mind?”
I explained, “No, you wanted me to do the LPN program, and I told you I didn’t want to get into nursing. I only agreed with you because you pushed it so hard. But look, this is also a two-year program, I’ll end up being an X-Ray tech, which I think will suit my strengths a lot better, and it has a lot of the same requirements.”
We ended up agreeing that Rad Tech was the best idea, but his has always insisted that LPN was my idea.
Fast forward two years. I am thriving in school, as a mother, and with my mental health. Our daughter is due to start pre-school in the fall, and I will be transferring schools to complete my degree. I have a 3.9 GPA, I am part of a prestigious honor society, and have earned numerous scholarships. I would like to think that I have grown up immensely in the past few years.
However, Chris still often treats me like a child. He does this in a lot of different ways. I’ll talk about buying a certain toy for our daughter, and if he doesn’t like the toy, he’ll usually just say “No, we’re not doing that.” If I push, he’ll say something to the effect of “You know how I feel about this,” which is his way of saying “End of conversation.” Whatever the issue is, we will almost always navigate through it and find a compromise. I don’t shut down with confrontation anymore and have gotten much better at arguing my points of view. But the way he talks to me seems super dismissive and has the same tone as a strict father talking to a rebellious teen. He can also be a complete man-splainer to an extreme degree.
I finally reached my breaking point with the way he talks to me yesterday. I had gone to my new campus to pick up my student I.D. and to walk around and get a feel for the place. I ended up being able to also get a copy of my class schedule before it was posted online. I realized that they had registered me for a class that I had already completed this past semester.
Chris called me while he was at lunch to chat, and I told him a bit about my day, and the mix up with my classes. I told him that I would make sure updated transcripts got sent to the campus, and I would email my advisor to discuss filling the slot with a different class (To be fair, I did say “with a B.S. class,” but obviously that isn’t how I would phrase it in the email). Chris started telling me “No, don’t do that. First, you have to make sure that you get new transcripts ordered, and then explain to him that you would rather take a humanities class. You can’t say a ‘B.S. class.’” He went on and on for a while.
Essentially, he took almost his entire lunch break to not only tell me what to do, but most of what he said, was what I had already planned on doing. When he had tired himself out with his rant, I stayed quiet, and just said “Ok.” He asked if I was mad, and I simply said “No, but please stop treating me like a child and trust that I will get this done on my own. You basically just took 15 minutes to tell me the exact same thing that I told you.”
Later that night, while I was cooking dinner, he opened the envelope that had my schedule in it, which had my name on it, not his, and started reading the schedule. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, but no matter how often I tell him this, he still does it. He then started trying to explain to me what all the different abbreviations on the form meant (which I already knew), and then started saying that he didn’t like how my schedule was set up. He thought it was too many classes one right after the other (it’s 3 classes in a row and would allow time for me to finish my school day early). He started telling me that I needed to tell my advisor to stretch out my schedule to allow time for a long lunch break, possibly with study time in between, yada yada.
I say yada yada, because I honestly stopped hearing what he was saying after a moment. Was he literally doing the exact same thing that I had asked him to stop earlier that day? Was he really man-splaining my class schedule to me? Was he really under the impression that he could tell me what to tell my advisor? I ended up cutting him off in the middle of whatever he was saying and said “Hey, you’re doing it again. Can you please stop treating me like a child? I’ll take care of this myself.”
He responded “You know I’m just trying to help. But if you don’t want my help, then fine. I’ll just shut up then.”
I lost it at that moment. The flood gates opened, and I honestly had no control over the words that came out of my mouth. I yelled that he wasn’t trying to help, that he was trying to dictate. I threw my GPA in his face, and explained how much I accomplished, while being the full time caregiver to our child, cooking every meal, running every household errand, and keeping our house spotless. I yelled that I wasn’t the dress over my head party girl who needed a guiding hand anymore, and that I was a grown ass responsible woman. I ended it with “You need to stop treating me like a Goddamn child and start treating me like a partner, because I’ve earned it.”
Chris was silent. We haven’t had a fight that involved yelling in years. He wasn’t used to this side of me at all. Eventually he apologized, said that I was right, and then went to have some alone time to process everything.
Here’s why I think that I may have been the asshole, and no, it’s not him trying to gaslight me into thinking I am. As I play the whole thing back in my head, I can’t help but think that I seriously crossed a line or two. First, our daughter, who is only two years old, was in the room with us. I never want us to be the type of parents that yell and scream in front of her.
Second, in the span of just a couple of years, I basically completely flipped the script on him. The beginning, and most of our relationship was spent with him being the grown up, and me being the screw up. I have essentially changed my entire brain chemistry with medication, have had talk therapy to help me grow as a person. Basically, I’ve reinvented myself. While all this has happened over the course of two years, you’d be surprised how quickly that time flies by in your late thirties/early forties, especially with a baby/toddler thrown into the mix. To Chris, it really could seem like this change, and my anger has come out of nowhere.
Also, just because I’ve changed, doesn’t mean that he has. He hasn’t been through the same hormonal and chemical changes that I’ve been through. Maybe I am the asshole for expecting the person he has always been to suddenly conform to the new me.
So what’s the verdict? Am I the asshole?

ALOT IS GOING INTO THIS
🔱 The Goon Squad - s500 🔱
Call Of Dragons Jump Group
Target Kingdom: s500 (September 2024) Member Count: +60 Member goal: +600
What we can offer:

◈ Experienced R4/R5 ◈ Interactive Community ◈ Loving/Caring Environment ◈ Tons of Tips/Guides ◈ Organized discord server with professional structure and economy to earn in-game rewards ◈ Weekly events to entertain our members (closer to start date) ◈ Weekly Voice chats (closer to start date) ◈ Discord Economy that translates to in-game rewards! ◈ R4 positions available!

Our mission:

◈ Build a successful jump ◈ To build a non-toxic and well respected community ◈ 4+ Alliances in Zone 3 ◈ Running feedback rounds in KD to connect and hear from our members ◈ Dominate in all future KvKs

Strength in Unity.
Server code: cEqx42cdBT
https://discord.gg/PNSxUMzJb3

I have been at my company for 2.5 years and work FT remote. I have always loved my job, company, and my team. Never had an issue with my performance and every quarterly/annual review I've had was always positive. My relationship with my colleagues and manager has always been really good.
My role is a hybrid of two different roles (one being a PM if there are open projects and the other is essentially an analyst). In the beginning of the year, we had layoffs, so naturally, I was given a little more responsibilities which I was fine with. One of them involved working closely with the accounting department. Long story short, I am new to using this software and a big chunk of it is for accounting purposes (I have no accounting background btw). With some data entries, I've made a few mistakes but I have worked closely with the accounting manager to learn from her and it's basically something that takes practice over time. Usually when I have to make some updates or input data and get something wrong, she'd communicate with me and we'd go over it together. Recently, instead of her normally reaching out to me, she went directly to my manager and said she's been unhappy with how I've been doing this and she didn't like how I talked to her. I've only communicated with her via slack, which my manager is in the same channel and my tone is very friendly and I am very responsive. She asked me to get something done by Friday but that she'd be OOO that day. By Friday, I completed her ask but I didn't think about replying because 1) she was OOO and 2) I knew she'd go check Monday if I did it bc she always does. Apparently, she didn't like that.
I have weekly 1:1s with my manager and we have a really good relationship and out of no where he brings up how he's been told that "someone" isn't happy with my errors and communication style. So we try to resolve this "issue". At the end of the conversation, he said he'll send an email to me to recap our conversation for "documentation". I immediately felt like they were trying to build a case on me and put me on a PIP and it was frustrating because I have never had a performance issue and this came up so abruptly. After reading his email, I asked to speak to him to clarify some things. In the email, he also included some miscellaneous things and one of them being the job description (mind you, when I got hired, they changed my role last minute and I never got a formal offer letter summarizing my role the way he had it written in the email).
I got straight to the point and asked him if this an email involving HR and if I was on a PIP. He said not at all, but that he just needed it documented so that when that accounting manager asks about our conversation, he can refer to it. (I'm not buying it). Then I asked if I'm on a PIP or on the road to one and he said absolutely not. So I asked if he can explain the "communication issue" because I work remotely and I only talk to very few people via Slack/Email and so if it's an issue, I'd like to know when that incident took place so I can learn from it. He was beating around the bush but eventually told me it was the same person. I'm still confused what the issue was because he couldn't tell me exactly (all communication is on Slack and he's in all the threads). He said that person could've just had a "bad day" and reported me (example: he said it could've been the way she misinterpreted the tone of my message and that maybe i could've come off too formal). Then I asked if I had ever underperformed and he said no. When he said that, I was confused as to why then he had to write an email highlighting my responsibilities if he verbally said I never underperformed. He basically said he wants me to overperform and do more than what the highlighted job description is. If that's the case, I'm willing to do that, but why write it in an email making it sound like I was underperforming?
Anyways, it's unfortunate that this person I recently started working with has now made me look really bad but my manager has to "document" everything when the entire time I've been at my company, I have done everything that has been asked of me and have great relationships with everyone.
Am I being paranoid and should I still consider this as something that can be used against me in the future even though my manager said it's nothing formal and HR is not involved in this?

I (18F) live with my dad. He’s been an alcoholic pretty much my entire life. Yesterday he started getting drunk again at 7 in the morning. I love him and he’s usually a good dad when he’s sober but when he gets reallyyyy drunk like that he’s not the best person. He’ll yell, break things, say bad things to me, etc.
So I told him how I really felt about it yesterday. After I did that he told me that me saying that didn’t help at all and that will just make him drink even more now if I think that he’s ruined my life and still is. And he told me that’s disrespectful to say because he’s my father. I feel bad about saying anything because now it’s like he’s drinking more because of even voicing how I feel.

So I’m lucky that I don’t get many pvcs. I’ll start with that.
I have weeks or months without them…. Or just have a random day with like 2… Or I have a week where I have 20/30 a day. It’s totally random and hit and miss. But I don’t think I’ve ever had a day where I’ve had more than 50? The worst they ever get is I’ll feel the horrible things every time I go from standing to sitting or sitting to standing, and I’ll have a day with that pattern for some reason.
Anyway.
I’m noticing that the days that I do get them at that increased level, I’ve got gut issues? Going to the bathroom more and it’s super loose and weird (not diarrhoea). And I’ll have bloating and my stomach will be distended especially upper stomach. So I guess that may be the reasoning behind the breathlessness.. But, the PVCs will be annoying, but the breathlessness gets me a bit anxious. If I force myself to belch then I feel less breathless. But why does this whole scenario increase the pvcs? This has been my day today. Yesterday I had zero pvcs but walked up the steepest hill known to man. Make it make sense…😑
Oxygen and bp normal through these dramatic days….
Anyone else??

I said a couple weeks ago that I was in an RP group that I was watching die in real time and holy cow, last night it imploded with all the public messy drama you would expect.
Let me set the scene: three admins, one group.
There have been issues with two of the admins essentially steamrolling other writers, running off the antagonistic and villainous characters and then complaining that there wasnt a lot of conflict. They were happy to use their own antagonistic characters to essentially bully people out of the group though. If you wanted to have any in character interaction with their ocs, they wanted you to get their permission first. One of them essentially joined an ongoing plot and then stopped any other ocs from interacting with that plot because they didn't like the response.
They used their ocs to change in game laws and rules the second another player did something they didnt agree with.
Well last night, the other admin and the owner of the group had enough and decided he was going to shut the whole thing down, giving people time to save any writing they had and make sure they had ways of contacting the people they wanted to continue writing with before shutting down the server.
Let me tell you, admin 2 and 3 LOST THEIR SHIT. Went on main and had full a full on melt down and temper tantrum that cumulated in one of them calling admin 1 a cunt and a dumb fuck and throwing around your mom jokes, mocking admin 1 for not typing as fast as them, and just making a complete and total embarrassment of themself. I had pretty much checked out at this point and hadnt interacted in forever so I was just sitting back and sipping my tea and watching it all go down.
The lesson is, if you dont want to interact with other writers, then dont join or start group RPs. Admin 2 & 3 pretty much only RP'd with each other anyways, I'm not sure what they were looking for to begin with.

First time poster, long time lurker. I feel like actually interacting more with this sub is going to help push me to do what I know needs to be done.
One of the things that’s been eating at me with this long term relationships is how drastically different my SO will act around my parents/family/their family. I’ll skip the laundry list of borderline behavior I see on the day to day for another rant but I think this is the thing that bothers me the most.
I’ve dropped hints to my family that this relationship is actively harming me but I get push back every time. “She is so great! Don’t mess this up!” etc. I hesitate to really sit down with them to explain what I’m going through is not a healthy relationship because all they see is the friendly, sweet, giving, loving personality that I rarely get to experience anymore.
They don’t see the name calling, lashing out over trivial things, and mood swings on a dime that have me in a constant state of stress wondering when the next shoe will drop. When we argue (which is just about every day) I’ll use the one line that can sometimes make her back down but, more often than not, just makes the issue worse.
“I know, that you know, the way you are acting is wrong because you NEVER do this in front of my family, your family or our friends.”
These arguments are not legit disagreements. This happens so often that I had to start writing down what the argument even was because I would just erase it from my mind after doing everything I could to have some peace in my day.
The mask they wear makes me feel like I’m losing it. It’s going to be a shock to a lot of people when this comes to its inevitable conclusion so I felt like I needed to get this off my chest. I’ve always refrained from dragging SO’s to my family as I just feel like it’s in bad taste so I guess I wanted to hear from anyone who has ended their relationship with someone with BPD and nobody knew how truly harmful the relationship had been for you.

helllooo, i'm cupid. i'm a bit lost on friendships rn. i tend to want connections so badly & then my mental health dips, i panic + pull away. so, here i am -- trying to fix it. lemme show you. if you're curious about my face, let's get it out of the way now, this is me, the red/black split dye is the recent version of me.
if you're someone who wants a person who'll nurture you, i'm her. i will water you like you've never experienced a single drop of water in your life. i will tell you when you're wrong & i will stand up for you when i believe you to be right. i am wholeheartedly involved in my friendships but i just struggle with the feeling of being terrified to be connected to people. past friendships [& relationships] have left me scorned.
i will genuinely offer you diamonds in the form of friendship, just reciprocate it. i will offer you the safest, most non-judgement free zone you can imagine, you are always - always, safe with me. i just ask that you are a good, kind, compassionate friend to me. you can literally tell me anything in the world and if it isn't hurting anyone else, i will listen without judgment. i promise you. i'll also send you spotify songs that i really enjoy, so again - hi. hello.
i'm smitten with people who are weird but not weird enough to make others uncomfy, or unable to enjoy the weirdness, ya know? i know you know. i like people who are into things that others mostly aren't: tarot, astrology, deep conversations, things like that. i might not actively be participating in said things but i like hearing the perspective of people who are! my friends always joke that i'm the person people say "i can fix her!" about but uh, i'm awesome. i don't need fixed. ✨ i adore social connections but i do come with a social battery and it needs refilled. me needing that time does not negate the connection i have built with you and am nurturing with you. i am trying my hardest to maintain friendships, so please give me a chance.
on to the fun tingz (and the stuff that will hopefully bring you in),

• watching my first ever anime, try to guess it [let's pretend my first actual one wasn't death note & that it wasn't the live action] -- most people love the "blue eyed handsome one"
• i'm the best wingman, hypeman & support team all in one
• horror fan through & through, but honestly, i prefer them less gory now lol, especially emotional horror
• cat loverrrr but will accept your frog [& all other animals] - so send pics. stat.
• known for dirty looks when i'm dissociating but i'm really just so focused on not existing
• graphic design major who switched to cybersecurity & will be starting this month, wish ya girl luck 💅
• gamer [valorant, ow2, cs2, hunt: showdown, pummel party, modded Minecraft, modded stardew,++]
• i don't play league, my mental health is terrible enough, thank you. i also don't play wow, my attention span could never. i do, however, play valorant because i don't like myself that much. i got you there, didn't i?
• loves to make make random noises but forgets my krisp isn't on
• mexican food 4 ever
• someone give me a banh mi please, they look so good, i'm desperate
• spotify songs are a love language, so lemme recommend you something

i am ✨sPiCy✨so if that bothers you, i am sorry. i, again, am a genuinely kind person but i do have a snarkiness to me that is meant to be a slight "i love you" + dash of bully. ❤

Heads up, rant incoming.
I’m a ftm to a little girl who is 7 weeks old. I’ve never experienced the intensity of love that I have for this perfect little human. I feel like one of my most important jobs as her mom is to keep her safe and healthy, which I’ve done by exclusively breastfeeding and practicing safe sleep habits. Unfortunately, my husband seems to have little to no regard for her health, safety, and well being.
For example, he started getting sick a couple weeks ago. After he started feeling poorly, I asked him to clean/disinfect various things around our home in an effort to prevent anything spreading to the babe. He would not clean anything, I had to between trying to feed and soothe her. I also told him he needs to wear a mask around her and be diligent about washing his hands or else keep his distance. He scoffed at me and yelled at me accusing me of trying to keep him away from our baby and then spent the rest of the day on the opposite side of our home pouting.
Another example. Our little girl has recently started to tolerate short stints in her swing while I eat, make food, etc within eyeshot. During dinner the other evening, she started dozing off in her swing. I finished eating and promptly picked her up out of her swing and moved her to her bassinet. My husband scolded me for moving her when she was sleeping. I told him it’s not safe sleep practice to let her sleep in the swing as it’s a risk for positional asphyxiation. He scoffed at me and said I was paranoid and that we’d be able to see if something was happening. I tried to explain that positional asphyxiation is silent, so unless we were sitting there just staring at her, no we wouldn’t know. He blew me off and said I worry too much and “it’s fine.” This has now occurred on a few separate occasions even after I’ve sent him a dozen resources on why it’s unsafe.
Then just last night, he finally gave me a break from holding her and was laying back on a chair with her in his chest while my MIL and I were playing cards. After our game, I come out to see her awake laying on him and him playing call of duty on his phone inches from her head. I told him I’d rather not have sounds of gunshots and warfare funneling directly into her ears and her subconscious, plus that’s a lot of stimulating noise while she needed to be winding down for the evening. He once again scoffed at me and said she has and will hear worse so “it’s fine.”
I haven’t left the baby just with him at all since her arrival other than to quickly eat or take a shower. I don’t know how I could possibly trust him to keep her alive and safe when he consistently does unsafe things for her. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he always blows it off and tells me “it’s fine.” God, I hate that phrase so much. Sure, it’s fine. Until it isn’t. Then there’s an emergency just because you’re too stubborn to heed any advice from me, the person who has ready up on and studied how to keep our baby safe.
Rant over, thanks for reading if you did. If anyone has any advice on how to deal with this or has experienced something similar with their partner, I’d love to hear it.

ABOUT US
Welcome to CloudCraft! We are a smaller whitelisted SMP focused on a vanilla multiplayer experience, and we are looking for a few more people to join us for our 1.21 reset on Saturday, June 15th.
Our server takes some inspiration from HermitCraft and other similar SMPS. Some of our community aspects include a spawn island town (includes starter houses, town hall, shops, etc.), community farms, nether hub, arcade with games, dragon fight event, and more. See below for some images of our past servers. In the past our server has been annually reset for the latest update, followed by 4-6 months of regular server activity (server will stay up the rest of the year until the next reset). This upcoming reset will be the five-year anniversary of our CloudCraft server!
https://imgur.com/a/rftuh0a
SERVER INFO
Server Location: California, United States
Version: 1.21 Vanilla
server start date: Saturday, June 15th, 2023
Server Host: bloom.host performance plus 8GB
Will be added to the discord server once accepted
Datapacks:afk display, anti-enderman grief, armor statues, durability ping, more mob heads, player head drops, multiplayer sleep, silence mobs, double shulker shells, and wandering trader mini blocks.
Additionally, we have phantoms disabled due to popular demand and several custom crafting recipes (mainly decorative blocks to make large scale builds easier).
We will also be using the simple voice chat fabric mod which simply adds proximity chat on the server. Any other fabric mod used is for server performance only and the experience is still a vanilla SMP.
RULES

• No Griefing and/or Stealing
• No Unapproved Mods/Cheating (Mini Maps + Optifine/Sodium are Allowed)
• PVP is allowed ONLY if the other player or players agrees to fight.
• No Duping - TNT “Explosion” Duping is Allowed (e.g. tree farm, auto concrete, world eater, etc.)
• Must use Discord and be 18+
• Treat others with Respect
• No Personal Use of Public Areas (Personal Farms Using: Spawn Chunks, End Spawn Platform, Community End Portal, etc.)

Please copy the questions below and reply to this thread or message us directly with your application. I will add you to Discord if accepted and you will receive an invite to the Discord channel.
Name (that you want to go by):
Minecraft IGN:
Age (18+ only):
Discord Username:
Tell us about yourself:
What's your favorite thing to do on a Minecraft serveworld (Ex. Building/Redstone):
Please attach screenshots of your best build/s

ABOUT US
Welcome to CloudCraft! We are a smaller whitelisted SMP focused on a vanilla multiplayer experience, and we are looking for a few more people to join us for our 1.21 reset on Saturday, June 15th.
Our server takes some inspiration from HermitCraft and other similar SMPS. Some of our community aspects include a spawn island town (includes starter houses, town hall, shops, etc.), community farms, nether hub, arcade with games, dragon fight event, and more. See below for some images of our past servers. In the past our server has been annually reset for the latest update, followed by 4-6 months of regular server activity (server will stay up the rest of the year until the next reset). This upcoming reset will be the five-year anniversary of our CloudCraft server!
https://imgur.com/a/rftuh0a
SERVER INFO
Server Location: California, United States
Version: 1.21 Vanilla
server start date: Saturday, June 15th, 2023
Server Host: bloom.host performance plus 8GB
Will be added to the discord server once accepted
Datapacks:afk display, anti-enderman grief, armor statues, durability ping, more mob heads, player head drops, multiplayer sleep, silence mobs, double shulker shells, and wandering trader mini blocks.
Additionally, we have phantoms disabled due to popular demand and several custom crafting recipes (mainly decorative blocks to make large scale builds easier).
We will also be using the simple voice chat fabric mod which simply adds proximity chat on the server. Any other fabric mod used is for server performance only and the experience is still a vanilla SMP.
RULES

• No Griefing and/or Stealing
• No Unapproved Mods/Cheating (Mini Maps + Optifine/Sodium are Allowed)
• PVP is allowed ONLY if the other player or players agrees to fight.
• No Duping - TNT “Explosion” Duping is Allowed (e.g. tree farm, auto concrete, world eater, etc.)
• Must use Discord and be 18+
• Treat others with Respect
• No Personal Use of Public Areas (Personal Farms Using: Spawn Chunks, End Spawn Platform, Community End Portal, etc.)

Please copy the questions below and reply to this thread or message us directly with your application. I will add you to Discord if accepted and you will receive an invite to the Discord channel.
Name (that you want to go by):
Minecraft IGN:
Age (18+ only):
Discord Username:
Tell us about yourself:
What's your favorite thing to do on a Minecraft serveworld (Ex. Building/Redstone):
Please attach screenshots of your best build/s

ABOUT US
Welcome to CloudCraft! We are a smaller whitelisted SMP focused on a vanilla multiplayer experience, and we are looking for a few more people to join us for our 1.21 reset on Saturday, June 15th.
Our server takes some inspiration from HermitCraft and other similar SMPS. Some of our community aspects include a spawn island town (includes starter houses, town hall, shops, etc.), community farms, nether hub, arcade with games, dragon fight event, and more. See below for some images of our past servers. In the past our server has been annually reset for the latest update, followed by 4-6 months of regular server activity (server will stay up the rest of the year until the next reset). This upcoming reset will be the five-year anniversary of our CloudCraft server!
https://imgur.com/a/rftuh0a
SERVER INFO
Server Location: California, United States
Version: 1.21 Vanilla
server start date: Saturday, June 15th, 2023
Server Host: bloom.host performance plus 8GB
Will be added to the discord server once accepted
Datapacks:afk display, anti-enderman grief, armor statues, durability ping, more mob heads, player head drops, multiplayer sleep, silence mobs, double shulker shells, and wandering trader mini blocks.
Additionally, we have phantoms disabled due to popular demand and several custom crafting recipes (mainly decorative blocks to make large scale builds easier).
We will also be using the simple voice chat fabric mod which simply adds proximity chat on the server. Any other fabric mod used is for server performance only and the experience is still a vanilla SMP.
RULES

• No Griefing and/or Stealing
• No Unapproved Mods/Cheating (Mini Maps + Optifine/Sodium are Allowed)
• PVP is allowed ONLY if the other player or players agrees to fight.
• No Duping - TNT “Explosion” Duping is Allowed (e.g. tree farm, auto concrete, world eater, etc.)
• Must use Discord and be 18+
• Treat others with Respect
• No Personal Use of Public Areas (Personal Farms Using: Spawn Chunks, End Spawn Platform, Community End Portal, etc.)

Please copy the questions below and reply to this thread or message us directly with your application. I will add you to Discord if accepted and you will receive an invite to the Discord channel.
Name (that you want to go by):
Minecraft IGN:
Age (18+ only):
Discord Username:
Tell us about yourself:
What's your favorite thing to do on a Minecraft serveworld (Ex. Building/Redstone):
Please attach screenshots of your best build/s

im sorry this might be a long story but i just need help im almost crying typing this
so let's go back to 2021 and i met a girl in college somehow and we spent a year being good friends
pretty much online vibing other than hi bye like we'd spend 3-4 hours texting eachother on average everyday and to start with (1)
and usually i like spending time offline and she doesn't really go out often
and on a random day which is after an academic year of our college she went somewhere with her other college friends and i just felt jealous and left out
like was i not her friend .. etc etc
but i obv didn't talk to her about it too much coz it's just my problem i can't open up that much even though it upset me really bad
then we started spending time offline at college during our practical classes etc etc it was amazing and i liked it very much our vibe was so good we both liked it too much it was going going and after 3 months .. she says she likes someone
i don't know how serious it was but she kept saying it's a joke and yeah she's not really the type to like people that easy which low-key just gives me a clue of how much time she spent with that other guy
anyway she said that and then i started realising i actually like this girl i mean i just didn't like how she likes some guy there were other girls that i was talking to at college simple friends etc etc
but i never felt jealous with any of them and this one girl who i talked to a lot after this girl also liked someone and i was so happy for her but it wasn't the same with this girl let's call her J
and i obv just struggled to let her know that i like her i ended up doing it and just got rejected by her she just didn't expect that it seems anyway after this slowly she just started realising she likes me too and if there's anything she likes me more than that other guy and then our lives just continued to move on
meanwhile i had issues with her coz she'd do something with others and id be jealous
she'd never ever do anything with me these things
they existed since the first fight that i mentioned earlier (1) so during these fights
she'd NEVER understand what the problem is coz she says she just understand getting jealous
and my ass can't open up too much so we'd also fight for days
she'd also go out with the guy that she liked before again .. it just upsets me
all these kept happening and somehow we just got closer to eachother i liked her more each day irrespective of those issues i had issues in the sense .. they were just never solved and she never did anything ever that i asked for or that she'd do with others all she'd do is just stay with me .. listen and say sorry i appreciate it tho
they were still hurting me a lot along with the fact that she doesn't want to get into a relationship with me
meanwhile i feel disrespected, left out, more and more anyway i survived and just liked her more each day
eventually i just started getting tired and didn't want to fight as much
after asking for millions of things i just decided to not ask for anything coz she'd do nothing anyway and if she can she'd rather do it with her other friends and it'd upset me too bad
so i just entered a phase where i got exhausted and stopped fighting as much etc etc if sth upsets me id just tell her and stop no more stretching and obv there'll be a lot of things that'd upset me coz i like her im the type to get jealous but we're not in a relationship so id have so many problems .. just making me upset id still just let her know and shut up
now coming to her pov she likes me
she likes being friends with me .. she'd like to be close friends with me forever
she just doesn't want to commit she doesn't want to commit to anyone she stopped talking to the guy that she liked too she just doesn't want a relationship and she says it has nothing to do with me coz she clearly likes me and i see it too but as she's not ready to be in a relationship with me .. idk how serious it is .. but yeah she definitely likes me too much too
and she says with all the issues i had she didn't mean to hurt me but for me she never never did anything i asked for and would just make me feel jealous at this point we'd also text for 6 hours a day after spending at college
and we'd also talk on the phone
okay and thennnn on a random day (beginning of a month) she went somewhere with his guy friend from school and shared lunch with him but i was waiting with my whole heart to do it with her and at this point it just made me feel too upset but like i said i was exhausted and i just didn't talk to her well about it .. just ignored it after telling her i didn't like it and she didn't like how im ignoring things .. she says she doesn't like it .. but my point was there's no use talking about it
(end of the same month) she also entertains if i like some other girl tell her about the girl etc etc and on a random day i told her i like someone (let's say k) as a joke and she knows it too .. it's our vibe .. and then when k girl texts me id tell J hey k is texting me .. our vibe is nice etc etc etc i exaggerated all those things coz it was just entertaining and never gave the k girls identity after a few days J just got to know that i was exaggerating most parts of it and she said no friend does that bs and she got mad at me again i was in my exhausted state and i said it was harmless anyway and i just did it coz it was entertaining and besides that i was thinking about how i wish she would question me if i got close to someone and tell her im not close to her it's just a random person but no it's reverse .. she is just mad at me coz i was exaggerating my stories and told her i like her, we vibe a lot and shit so i just didn't wanna fight obv and id just want to escape so id wake up normal and talk to her and she'd get extra mad coz i ignored it the night before
those type of fights kept repeating over and over where one of us would have a small problem but id just be overwhelmed to deal with it and would wanna leave and she wouldn't like it and we keep stretching it and fight fight fight
and nowwww we're here where i like her and feel like if we're not going to be in a relationship this is not worth it at all so we should just chill and be friends and not even spend as much time together low-key just live our lives and talk to eachother just in real life or at random times
but sheeee she is more attached to me and she doesn't like it when I talk this way .. she'd say why'd i be in a relationship with you if this is how you treat me .. if this is how you leave and not fight with me i have no idea how to process that like what did i do .. i genuinely just got exhausted and all i do is when i don't like something she says or does .. I'd say it and leave for a couple hours .. and come back normal which in my brain it's like I JUST CANNOT FIGHT WITH YOU so let me just live but she HATES it she hates how I'd wanna leave and just come back normal without addressing
okay buuuut will she be in a relationship with me? NO she says so coz why'd someone be exclusive with someone that does shit like leaving and not want to fight
and coming to our vibe it's amazing trust me on average we spent 5+ hours everyday since day 1 of our friendship like one day 10 hours to 2 hours one day 2 would be minimum and we like eachother we're clearly sexually comfortable with eachother even though we haven't done anything with eachother actually but i just know it and i don't want to give those details here and we can be good together if it works
but now it's EXTREMELY overwhelming we'd fight every 3 days once and im totally exhausted i just feel like we're not in a relationship what am i fighting for but she says if you can't fight how do i get into a relationship with you
i don't really know if anyyyyyyyyyybody would read this and help me but if you do id really really appreciate it i will be so glad to listen to you people who's tryna help me with how to fix this or what should i even do
and even if i fight now or be sweet nice she won't get into a relationship with me anytime soon i mean .. just no commitment anytime soon then i feel like so do i still put all my efforts again in absolutely nothing? i mean what if she doesn't want me after 2 years after this or sth let's say
and im really sorry if the way i typed this story is dumb i won't know what the screenplay would look like to you guys
pls help me out guys

Hi everyone, I’ve decided to make this account to get some things off my chest because I know my feelings could potentially offend everyone close to me. Especially my husband. I 25 yr old female got married about 3 months ago after a year of planning our wedding. But one week before our wedding the worst thing possible happen. My husband’s cousin passed away in a horrible car accident. But this wasn’t just any cousin; he was like a brother. They quite literally grew up together. When they were babies they live in the same house for a couple of years, and even after my husbands family was able to get a house of their own, this cousin was around all the time. I often would tell my husband I would find it interesting how he seem to be closer to this cousin than his actual bother. Anyways, we got the call around 3 in the morning with this horrible news and immediately got up and drove to where the crash happened. When we got there he’s body was laying there. It was so traumatic. Even for me. He was always the nicest of his family to me, so I grew fond of him as well. I lost my shit on sight but immediately after we drove home; like a bucket of cold water the thought of the wedding came to my mind. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what I wanted. A couple of hours later, people started asking me what was going to happen. Wanting to know if we were going to cancel. My mind was exploding because a huge part of me did want to cancel but I felt bad to so because at least 50% of our guest had to fly to our wedding and they were all gonna start arriving that week. He was buried two days before the wedding. And both my husband and I decided to talk to he’s parents and tell them that if they wanted us to cancel we would do so. But to my surprise, they told us that they knew their son would’ve never wanted to ruine our plans. So they asked us to go through with everything. They even came to the wedding. My mind was so occupied with everything that I don’t think I even had a chance to let my feeling come to play days before. Until the morning of. I was getting my makeup done when it hit me that my wedding was no longer gonna be what I wanted. And just as I imagine my wedding became a tearful event. I could not blame anyone. I felt like shit myself. Specially when who knows who decided to put a picture of the cousin on the screen. I was watching my video and although there was some happy moments; I couldn’t help focusing on everyone crying. I feel bad for having these feeling/thoughts but I felt like I needed to actually say them loud.

I have no idea if this relationship can move forward or not. We started off as a FWB situation in last year (JUL23) or so, went official around Dec 2023. Ever since then, he's been immature and extremely emotionally unintelligent, he cheated on me 3 months into the relationship during my birthday, (downloaded a dating app, got the girls snaps and wanked to their nudes) etc. as well as sending them pictures of himself and whatnot. I stayed, his explanation seemed sincere at the time and I could somewhat understand the reason. We were going through a rough patch and he believed we were going to end things so he jumped ahead to not get hurt. Shitty, inexcusable but - ok, I see. We then had a strict no-clubbing without your S/O rule which he broke a month after that after making me stay up until 3AM whilst he walked home & accidentally admitted he'd been clubbing with his friends. He also recently lied about starting up smoking again when we'd quit together 5 months ago. Also failed to plan our 6 month anniversary because he forgot after I begged him to because I always plan things. That, along with a bunch of things such as minor lying, lying about porn, lying about porn when I found it in his history, general shouting which he refuses to stop because it's "just what he's like with his friends" (he knows this triggers me, I have BPD - he also refused to acknowledge this until 4 months into the relationship when he finally decided to read up about it after I was begging for months).
However, I am happy around him generally - he's smart and kind when he wants to be. His family is lovely and when I'm with him, it's lovely - but I'm not sure what it'll be like when we go off to uni. I can't stand arguing over small or big things all the time because he has so little respect for me. If he cant grow up, and keeps promising to change with nothing to show for it - where does that leave me?
I don't know how to get through to him, I don't know how to help. I just want this to work out because I really love him and he's treated me better than anyone has.

In many AFN nations, a conspiracy theory arose about the potential of all Reich Pakt nations controlling their whole populations through microchips. With the recent rise in this theory, the Alliance chose a man for the job. His name is Zane Johnson, he is a WW3 and Second American Civil War veteran. Now a part of the US Army in Exile he was chosen by the AFN to go to Russia and work on this new US-Russian operation to reveal the truth about the microchips. But first Zane has to help the Russians with something.
Zane is in his room sleeping as he has the same nightmare he has had for many years now. A nightmare about his fiance Natalie Garcia, whom he met while in the army during WW3. In the nightmare he sees her being taken hostage after the surrender of loyalist forces. A nightmare where he not only lost his country but also the love of his life. He then hears her “Zane do something please, help me” but Zane then says to her “I’ll come back for you I promise.” Seeing her again and freeing her alongside the people oppressed by the GAE are two huge reasons he stayed with the US Army in Exile.
He wakes up at the right moment as he hears his phone ring. He picks it up and it's the General Secretary of the Alliance of Free Nations. “General Zane Johnson, we need you for this mission this mission can and would be the beginning of the liberation the world needs.” Zane then says “What exactly is this mission you say?” The General Secretary then says “The Russian Liberation Front has found something but wants the help of the US Government in Exile so we chose you and some of your former war buddies to come along but first you have to help take down a warlord that has started an insurgency, it is the Omsk Soviet Republic they have recently begun a huge insurgency and plan to expand it, we have also been cut off from Eastern Siberia as many states began to join them” Zane said, “Yeah I’ve heard about the Omsk Insurgency. It seems like not all countries have benefited from the Convention on World Restoration, I’ll be heading to HQ just give me a second, and I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Zane says as he hangs up the phone and processes the dream he recently had again. He sits there in his bed as his hands cover his face, feeling the same feeling of regret knowing he couldn't do anything without getting himself arrested by the Empire. Still remembering the transition period where the states that were left of the former US during the war as they enjoyed their last days of freedom, many TV networks and radio stations talking about the fall of the United States and the hope for a great peace in the states after the reunification under the imperial banner.
There was one message that played during this time. It stated, “The United States of America has fallen after June 5, 2021, the former loyalist states will be under the rule of the Greater American Empire, peace has come but at a sad cost, you have until June 4 to leave the nation if you wish too after that you won't be able to, Thank you for living the American Dream.” Which is actually how he ended up in Australia where he currently resides.
He then finally leaves the bed as he gets his uniform on. The thoughts run through his head as his flashbacks from both wars come back to him. All he wishes is to put the uniform up and just settle down with his fiance after marrying her but the Empire robbed the life he wanted. He heads to his car the car begins to drive itself as the AI sees that Zane isn't in a good state mentally. The car drives to the alliance's main headquarters in Sydney as the plan gets discussed.
Zane walks into the headquarters as a Free Russian diplomat greets him. “To a new era of Russian and American relations,” says the diplomat as he shakes hands with Zane “A new era for a brighter future and a free world,” says Zane before going inside and beginning to discuss the plans. The General Secretary explains “Here's how everything is going to go. First, we're going to get you and the ambassador over to Kazan, from there you will meet up with your forces, and then the invasion of Neo-Soviet Omsk can begin, the end goal is to restore order before a potential invasion of Moskovien.”
“Sounds great I’ll go whenever the transport is ready,” Zane says as the Free Russian Ambassador says “The plane is waiting for us” Both Zane and the Ambassador then go to the plane. The flight is good for a few hours but then something happens as they fly into Russia. They both hear a sound coming closer and closer then a loud explosion is heard.

I'll try to keep it relatively brief.
I'm in my late 30s and have had a pretty gnarly past 2-3 years: dealt with serious health issues, had a very turbulent romantic relationship, lost my job, and was in a pretty scary situation involving someone who had been harassing me on and off for a few years. After all this happened, I ended up leaving my city and doing a bunch of traveling, both as a way to try to reinvent myself and find a new zest for life, as well as a way to try to search for a feeling of safety and security.
I ended up receiving a job offer internationally and moved to another country for the gig. While I'm pretty excited about the job, it's been incredibly difficult being so far from my friends and family, atop being immersed in a culture so different from my own. I worry a lot about having further health issues and having no support system here to help me at all.
The past year especially has been blanketed in a pretty bad depression overall. I've made a lot of very impulsive decisions as a result of feeling aimless and unsafe, and I know my friends and family are pretty confused by my decision-making overall.
Given my poor mental health, all I really have the capacity for right now is working at my job; the idea of having to make new friends, start dating again, etc. is just completely overwhelming. I think the road back to quality mental health will be a long one, and it's hard to imagine me feeling good overall until I've gotten significant mental health treatment and such.
I can't shake the feeling that the wise move is probably to move back to my home country where I have some sort of support system and try to rebuild things from there. But simultaneously, throwing away this job opportunity and chance to live abroad feels like a bad idea as well. Either path has significant pros and cons and, given my mental state and impulsive decision-making, it's very hard to weigh them objectively and make a smart choice.
Overall I just feel quite aimless. My life was once so well-structured and I feel like I'm surrounded by rubble at this point - it's just all fallen apart before my eyes. I don't know what the smart move is, and it feels like time and life are just passing me by while I continue to be depressed and make poor, impulsive decisions.
I want to get my life back on track and I'd love your thoughts and advice. Thank you.

I got CS2 last night, installed it in the morning and came home and started playing it after school. Played it for like an hour and was having fun with no problems but then suddenly in the middle of a round my PC froze, disconnected from my monitor and then the fans got really loud. I unplugged it, plugged it back in, started the game again and it did the same thing minus the freezing. Unplugged and replugged yet again, reopened the game, turned my settings down from high to medium thinking maybe my PC was having trouble running it. Started a round and my PC restarted itself. Did a quick scan with my antivirus (which I knew was a shot in the dark but oh well), no threats detected, start the game up, no problems for about 30 minutes and it happens again. I checked for driver updates and found I hadn't updated to the latest driver and thought that must have been the issue. Updated my driver, started the game again and this time I haven't even started a round by the time my PC disconnects and gets super loud. I have no earthly clue what the issue could be; I have a decent PC (GTX 1650, i5-7 series, 16GB RAM) and aside from Steam I had nothing else open that could have caused it. Has anyone else experienced this?

My partner and I had our first baby 8 weeks ago and we've been incredibly busy even since. Obviously busy with the baby, but in addition to that, we are planning a wedding, we sold our house, bought a new house and moved about an hour away. So in these 8 weeks, we've been doing things non stop- packing, staging our house to sell, moving, dealing with the banks, meeting wedding planners, etc. A lot of this work has fallen to me specifically because my partner returned to work when baby boy was 3 weeks old and he works long hours so I was taking on the brunt of meeting with realtors, doing walkthroughs, going over inspections, filling out applications as well as touring daycares and enrolling our son for when I return to work in a few weeks.
Summed up, it's been busy and hectic during a time where I've also been physically healing and emotionally a little all over the place with postpartum hormones. In addition, I'm not getting a ton of sleep because I take the night wakes by myself every night and baby boy is waking up 2-3 times a night on a good night, 5-6 times on a bad night. I'm doing fine (I don't think there's any concern for PPA/PPD) but obviously I'm not at my best physically, emotionally or mentally (is anyone at 8 weeks PP?! lol).
However, my husband talks a lot about "getting me motivated" and will push me to do things like go to the gym, go for a run, find a side hustle, etc. He says it's because he knows I always feel better when I do these things, which is true, but I've tried explaining that right now if I have an hour to myself (if grandparents take LO or he is napping or whatever) that my immediate thought is not "how can I be most productive right now?!" Like if I get any amount of free time, I might take a walk or I might go to the gym, but I also might just lay on the couch or watch reality tv. But when he says "do you want to go to the gym while the baby is asleep?", if I say no, he'll will kind of wrinkle his nose and be like "why not?! Come on, get up, get moving, get motivated!" Like everything in my life has changed drastically over the past two months and I'm exhausted, that's why I don't want to go to the gym?? Or think about starting a side hustle?? Or start painting our walls?? Or whatever else he suggests. And it's making me feel awful and lazy for not wanting to fill every second of my day with "productivity." But whenever I bring this up and try to explain it, he says he's just trying to get me up and moving to help me not fall into the baby blues. I don't know how to convince him that sometimes it's not the baby blues talking, sometimes I just need to rest and I'm going insane!!