Travel Diary: I make $195,000 and spent $2149.75 (+49k points) while on a trip to Amsterdam
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!

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Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or is it better give up on this unhappy marriage.

Also posted in AskContractors
Looking for some honest feedback about this quote for some work we need done on our garage. Our previous contractor really burned us on several things, and we don't want to throw good money after bad.
What We Want Done

• New concrete pad poured
• Wall constructed to replace demo'd garage doowall
• Wateflooding mitigation

QUOTE FROM NEW CONTRACTOR
Questions

• Is this quote too high, too low or reasonable?
• Is there anything missing that we should have thought to ask for based on the info/context/pictures shared below?
• Is it too good to be true?
• All comments/questions/ideas welcome!!

PICTURES/VIDEO/NOTES FOR CONTEXT
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Structure: 1 car detached garage, approximately 15.5' x 11.5'
End Goal: To turn it into a functional office/studio space (NOT an ADU)
What was it before: a barely serviceable space with a faux garage door on the exterior and poorly done drywall on the interioopposite side of the "garage door", that leaked whenever it rained.
BEFORE PICTURE

• We had a previous contractor (the one that boned us) run power underground from the main house to the garage (previous owners had a very sketchy electrical wire that was just slung from the house and went through a hole in the garage)
• They broke up the concrete in front of the garage door and re-poured it when they were done
• That garage door was not functional when we bought the house. It was literally tacked up onto a wood frame (you'll see in subsequent pictures) by the previous owners

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN IT RAINED

• Link to Video
• We tried to clear that drain AND had a different BETTER contractor out to install a french drain (you'll see in another picture) which helped, but this wintespring saw SO MUCH rain in LA, that even the french drain wasn't able to fully keep up (we are thinking that there are likely roots we'll need to have broken up further down the pipe)?
• Picture of French Drain

PICTURES OF OUR DEMO WORK
With the goal being to regain this space as a functional room/studio, we knew we had to have professional help. To mitigate costs, we decided to do as much of the demo as we could ourselves, including removing the garage door, the drywall, and breaking up as much of the concrete slab as we could

• Underneath the Laminate FlooInterior Concrete Picture Post-Rain
• Garage Door Removed
• Drywall Removed
• Demod Concrete

For context: we have two kids age 8 and 5.
Just back from 10 nights at POFQ, our first ever Disney trip. Overall really liked the hotel, it's a shame they had a pipe burst in their swimming pool and it was being repaired for most of our stay, but it was still a really nice place. Swimming pool at Riverside was only a 10 min walk away.
I had a good outline of our itinerary for the whole stay written up before we left with plenty of ADRs , however what we actually did was quite different.
Wrote up as much as I could remember, the exact order of events in particular is a bit muddy but I did my best.
Day 1: Arrive in the early evening, went to the pool, had inner in the food hall, went to bed.
Day 2: Genie + at Magic Kingdom. Totally screwed up EE that day because the park opened at 8am that day which caught me off guard, but aside from not rope-dropping Seven Dwarves as planned, we still got SO much done that day.
Arrived at 8am park opening.
Jungle Cruise
Big Thunder Mountain x 2
Pirates of the Carribbean
Ariel
Barnstormer x 2
Dumbo
Genie + Peter Pan
Laugh Floor
Genie + Buzz Lightyear
Peoplemover
Genie + Space Mountain/Speedway (in two parts since my youngest didn't go on it, I took both my kids to speedway while my husband had his turn)
Big Thunder again
Small World (but son needed toilet in queue so we left and husband and daughter stayed)
Then we went back into Smallworld while daughter and husband did Barnstormer again.
Genie + Winnie the Pooh.
Dinner at Skipper Canteen - so good!
We also watched the parade that day but it was sooo hot, we opted for a poorer view from a main street shop in the shade. Was not worth sticking out the heat for the length of time you would need to get an optimal view. I think trying to go our very first day was a mistake because we weren't acclimatised at all yet.
The longest queue we had that day was probably for Smallworld. Everything moved really quickly! Was also happy with Genie+.
Day 2: Animal Kingdom
Had entry issues and needed cards re-assigned at entry so kinda messed up FOP EE rope drop but husband and daughter persevered anyway. Son and I did Na'vi River and explored Pandora and stared Wilderness Explorers. Spent a LOT of time in Pandora gift shop.
Gorilla Trek
Wildlife Express and Rafiki's Planet Watch.
Festival of the Lion King (so good!)
It's Tough to be a Bug
Triceratops Spin
Had really nice homey feeling cookie and gigantic ice cream in Dinoland
Dinosaur (3 of us loved this ride, my son thought it was a bit too scary also it seemed like they should increase the height requirement because he could barely reach the bar to brace himself. I know it's being discontinued though.)
Safari
Dinner at hotel.
Day 3: Hollywood Studios
Successful EE rope drop for Rise of the Resistance
Smuggler's Run
Met Donald Duck
Met Goofy and Max
Star Tours
Runaway Railway (queue was brutal in the sun but it was a great ride)
Indiana Jones Show
Star Tours again
Muppets 3d
Race Academy - did not know what to expect coming in. If we had known we would not have trekked all the way across the park in the heat for that. My son DID like it, but it really didn't feel like it was the same quality as any of the other shows or rides.
Went back to Galaxy's edge for Blue and Green milk + puffbread. All really good. We possibly did Star Tour again, I don't remember haha.
The wait times for everything else being very long + the heat had us going back to the hotel early.
Dinner at hotel.
Day 4: Magic Kingdom Day 2
Tried to EE rope drop 7 dwarves but it was down and we decided not to wait it out (rookie mistake)
Teacups
Thunder Mountain x 2
Split up and did Haunted Mansion/ Smallworld (and got stuck on Smallworld for like 15 minutes)
Haunted mansion crew did Carousel while waiting for us, then we did Carousel after.
Took Daughter to meet Pooh and Tigger while the others did Speedway + People Mover
Back to hotel early for dinner.
Day 5: Genie + Epcot.
Failed to get Guardians Boarding at 7am.
EE Test Track
Mission Space (Green)
Genie + Remy
Genie + Soarin
Moana water walkthrough
Genie + Living with the Land
Got boarding for guardians for about 6pm. Cancelled ADR because of it.
Spaceship Earth
Met Moana
Genie + Nemo
Genie + Figment
Met Figment
Met Joy
Nemo again
Quick Dinner in Mexico
Gran Fiesta Tour (honestly had no idea this was here, really cool building, kids liked the boat ride)
Finally boarding group for guardians called at nearly 7pm.
Really great day! I seemed to be able to book really quickly back to back for Genie +. Kids really liked all the chill dark rides .
Wanted to do Frozen that day but the Genie+ was sold out even before lunch.
At this point we are really just trying to get things we missed
Day 6: Magic Kingdom Day 3
Successful EE rope drop of Seven Dwarves. Said 75 min wait when we entered but it really wasn't too bad, maybe 30-45. This ride had amazing theming, but was lacking as a coaster.
Teacups
Split up and 2 of us did astral orbiter that had a wait time of 25 minutes, and the other 2 did space mountain with a wait time of 35 minutes. Space mountain finished first!
Carousel
Swiss Family Treehouse
Enchanted Tiki Room
Magic Carpet - this seemed to be my son's favourite of this style ride. He's been talking about magic carpets evey day since.
We actually had a boarding time for Tron but the kids got fed up of the heat so we gave up and cancelled or place in the virtual queue.
Took the train back to the entrance. Very pleasant.
Dinner at hotel
Day 7
Epcot Day 2
We really wanted to do Cosmic Rewind again and do Frozen since we missed it the other day.
We failed to get a 7am boarding so bought an ILL for 11:30
EE rope drop at Frozen, which was down and they tried to get us to go elsewhere but it was open by about 8:45.
Gran Fiesta Tour
Met Asha
We were going to go do Soarin but we got distracted by a giant Joffrey's donut and a squirrel that was fun to watch, and then there was a minor child meltdown so we had a long break before heading to our ILL for Cosmic Rewind. Totally worth the cost.
I tried one last time to see if the kids would explore the World Showcase but they voted to go to the waterpark instead.
We went back to the hotel, then off to Typhoon Lagoon where 3/4 of us got minor scrapes in the wave pool, but kids loved it and would have gone back a second day.
Went back to Disney Springs and got dinner at Chicken Guy. Probably the best fast food I have ever had.
Day 8
Animal Kingdom Day 2
This was a lot of running around chasing short queues. Genie + would have been really good for us at this park.
EE rope drop Everest x 2. Was really good but going backwards made my stomach a bit iffy.
Na'vi River
Safari (finally saw an elephant!)
Nemo Show
Lion King Show again
Met Dug (first character my son was actually excited to meet)
Maharajah Jungle Trek
Back to Disney Springs for Dinner. Went to Pizza Ponte so we could all choose a different topping of pizza. Also walked around and heard live music before we left.
Took daughter to Happily Ever After fireworks that night. Stood above the railway station for a quick escape at the end.
Day 9
Last day :(
Genie + Hollywood Studios
Genie + didn't seem to work as well at this park, it seemed at Epcot I could always book after entering a ride and we used it a lot but at HS it seemed strictly 2 hours apart. Maybe I am just not seeing it clearly.
On reflection , next time I would probably do Slinky Dog at EE followed by Runaway Railway and buy an ILL for Rise and skip Genie + if I was looking to save some money. I would de-prioritise Toy Story Mania next time, but our first day we missed all of the Toy Story area.
EE rope drop Rise of the Resistance. Pretty sure we were on the ride before EE even officially started.
Smuggler's Run
Met The Mandalorian and Grogu (probably the best meet!)
Star Tours
Alien Flying Saucers
Droid Depot
Genie + Slinky dog
Beauty and the Beast show
Met Chewbacca
Met Pluto
Genie + Runaway Railway
Star Tours again
Genie + Toy Story Mania. Ride broke down while in queue. Waited for ages before the put us on the other side, almost missed our next booking.
Oga's Canteen. Tried 4 different non-alcoholic drinks and they were all good. It was super cool. Only downside is we had a high table (standing only) and my son couldn't see the top of the table/anything and he was pretty unimpressed by the whole situation. Flying Saucers Mama Melrose for dinner. Muppets 3d Fantasmic. I read 15 min early "at least" aimed for 30 minutes early, and the place was well more than half full by then. Took a really long time to leave. If there is a next time I would go much earlier and bring snacks just to make getting out easier. Overall I was hugely impressed with the level of detail in everything, and all the cast members were amazing. It was a really cool experience, and it's hard to imagine never going back. If there is a next time I really want to explore the world showcase and do more sit-down meals. We had a lot planned but the kids didn't have the stamina for being in the park all day so we cancelled almost all of them. We also ended up doing parks in a somewhat different order than I initially planned. Kids got really tired of travelling on buses, which is also why we didn't break in the middle of the day and then going back to the parks. Would look at skyliner options next time. Things we didn't get to do:
Try dole whip (never noticed a place to buy it, ice cream was often an urgent necessity so didn't seek it out specifically) Tron (too hot to wait for boarding group when it was already day 3 at magic Kingdom and basically felt done.) Explore World Showcase (too much walking for few rides, from kids' perspective) Eat for fun more (we ate more out of necessity but found fun snacks when convenient) Tower of Terror (queues too long and genie + bookings too late) Frozen Singalong (timing never seemed to work out) Luminous (son had no interest in late night shows so we only did a couple things at night.) Take ride on skyliner. Something that surprised me: queues for popular rides stayed long even at 9pm. Couldn't see a viable alternative to EE rope drop + genie plus to get all the big rides "done" except perhaps if you had extended evening hours, but that would not have worked with our kids. Number of beignets consumed during our stay: 12

EDIT: Sorry this is so long! It's clearly weighing heavy on my mind and I also have a habit of overexplaining myself due to my past. Believe it or not, this was my attempt to keep it short!
As someone raised by a single narcissistic parent, I (25F) have a lot of difficulty in figuring out if my perception is accurate or if I'm misinterpreting things. I've spent years working on this in therapy and have made progress in figuring out when I'm being treated poorly, specifically in platonic relationships, but have still a ways to go.
Recently, I've gotten into a relationship with my bf (29M) after having been single for 5 years. The person I've started dating proactively chased me during this time and I was clear that I wanted to be just friends due to concerns about long-distance, feeling overwhelmed with the interest they had in me without knowing me super well, and feeling like my boundaries weren't being respected. Over those 5 years, we developed a strong friendship/relationship and these issues resolved (except for the long-distance). I had a major life event happen in 2023 that had me questioning how much of my life I had lived in fear and avoidance. Simultaneously, this person was a huge support to me while I went through this difficult moment. I decided I was ready to pursue a romance with him and he agreed he wanted to too. So we started officially dating roughly 10 months ago.
In the beginning of our relationship, he would make tons of comments about our future together, talking about our kids, what life would be like when we're married, trips that we would take, etc. I was hesitant in the beginning to believe this, but slowly started to imagine this future too and would join in these conversations. I had never dated someone who so openly talked about a future with me and while it felt scary in the beginning, I started to feel like it was a beautiful thing and I was experiencing healthy love.
Back in January, he started to talking to me about getting a place in my city. Although we're long distance, he has to come to my city fairly often for business reasons and likes to extend his stays to spend time with me. I initially thought he just meant something for himself that he would stay in when he was in my city. This wasn't super surprising since he has an apartment in another city sitting completely empty and he was talking about getting a place in another city for when he'd visit before we started dating. To be clear, he has vast financial resources. Like hundreds of millions.
I was excited that he was going to get a place in my city, because I knew it would make him more comfortable when he'd visit and therefore make his visits more likely. However, he clarified to me a week later that he actually wanted to get a place for the both of us - where I would stay full time and he would stay when he was visiting. He was surprised that I thought this would just be his place. I thought about it and got excited at the idea (although I had some concerns about living alone for those periods he wasn't there - I've always had roommates and have loved it honestly).
Once I agreed, he said he wanted to start looking at places when he was visiting my city for a few weeks that February. I started to look at places online and have conversations with him about what we'd both want. February came, he didn't make any effort or mention of seeing places in person. My roommates started to ask me if I'd be renewing the lease with them or not and I told them I wasn't sure. I'd periodically bring it up to him and emphasize that we probably need to start looking and make serious progress on it. He would agree, but I wouldn't hear anything more about it. Finally, I told him I needed to give my roommates a final answer about it. He said that I should renew the lease with them so that we're not rushed into finding something and can find the perfect place. He said it was okay if the leases overlapped, assuring me that it wouldn't be a problem and he'd cover it financially. I was hesitant, but given his vast wealth, I figured this was just one of those rich people things where comfort is prioritized over wastefulness.
He has not brought it up since. Recently, I had felt some distance from him. He wasn't as communicative. He flaked on a vacation we were supposed to go on during my spring break at the last minute due to a conference he wanted to attend. He was vague about when he would be able to visit next, saying that I could visit him whenever even though he knew I was in school until May. He invited me to go to a friend's wedding in a far away state in late April, but said he figured I wouldn't be able to go because he knew I had finals. I decided to make it work by flying in for 48 hours despite having finals. While we were together in person, it didn't seem like anything was wrong at all. I decided to talk to him about some of these concerns and mentioned the apartment. He said that he wanted to find the perfect place for us and not stress about it. I told him that I get that, but we need to take action in order to find the perfect place. He said that there's no rush. I pointed out he said he wanted to start looking at places in February, so it seemed like he wanted to get a place fairly soon, but I was feeling confused because since those early talks, I've been the only one to talk to him about it. I told him that it felt like he didn't want to get a place with me anymore. He said that he does want to still but when he brought it up to me, he meant he wanted to get a place in the future and there's no timeline. In his head, it will happen eventually and I shouldn't be worried (????? WTF). Anyways, I decided to drop it and give him the benefit of the doubt.
He also early on told me how excited he was for when we go to his home country, how we'll go in the next year, how he needs to take me there. A week or two ago, an opportunity came up where he would be in a nearby country for business and I would be on a break from school. We talked about me going with him and then going to his home country after for a bit. Yesterday, I asked him about it and he started to express doubts, saying he's never taken a girl home before... Keep in mind: 1) I have already met his parents and brothers more than once. 2) This man has only dated one other person, and it was in high school. 3) This man has been talking about taking me there as soon as its convenient since we started dating.
I'm worried given my past with parental narcissistic abuse that I'm not able to see clearly whether I'm experiencing it or not in my relationship. Prior to this relationship, I always pursued men that were emotionally distant and whose love I had to earn because it felt safer (and mirrored my relationship with my absent parent). This is the first time I've dated someone who consistently showed interest in me. I thought this was healthier and that I was recalibrating my dating patterns, but now I'm starting to have doubts. I'm feeling like I can't trust his word anymore. I'm starting to wonder if he's been future faking me. What do you guys think? Any tips on what I should be looking out for in the future?

Hey all! Finally got around to writing a trip report after my trip last week. I went to Disney world to celebrate my graduation from college and my honeymoon! I haven't been since I finished my college program pre-covid, so a lot has changed in the parks for me, and my partner has only been twice in his life and knows almost nothing about the parks. Needless to say, I did all the planning. We ended up not getting genie+ at all, and just gauging the crowd levels and checking wait times to make sure we could get on rides with shorter wait times. Overall, we were able to ride everything we wanted to, and didn't wait very long for many rides at all! Anyway, here's my trip report! Sorry it's so long!
May 4: arrive at MCO around 8 am, take Lynx bus to Disney Springs (route 311), so we can get something to eat and walk around to shop. The bus takes about an hour to get from the airport to Disney Springs, but for $2 per person, it can't be beat. End up eating at Chicken Guy, and then head to Pop Century when we're done shopping. It's around noon, and our room isn't ready, so we decide to hop on the skyliner to get a feel for it before we hit the parks the next day. We end up taking the friendship boats from Hollywood Studios to Swan and Dolphin to go play some mini golf with the free vouchers we got! Afterwards, we head back to the resort and head to the front desk, because the app said our room wasn't ready yet. The front desk person immediately found a room for us, so we were able to relax for a bit in the room before grabbing something to eat at the quick service location. We got the dining plan, and ended up using quick service credits for this meal. This is when we found out how much getting just a single alcoholic beverage can add to your bill! Anyway, after relaxing a bit more, we went out to the Polynesian resort to chill in the sand and have dinner at the Kona Cafe (which was great, btw!). We ended up just sharing plates of sushi, but were so full afterwards. We went back to our room at Pop and talked about our plans for our first park day before going to bed.
May 5: Our first day was Hollywood Studios. Neither of us were huge star wars fans before this trip, but in the weeks leading up to our vacation, we watched all the mainline star wars movies, watched Obi Wan, and previously watched the Mandalorian, and fell in love with the series. So, needless to say, we spent most of the day in Galaxy's Edge. We woke up at 7 and immediately got to the Skyliner to see a huge line, but was surprised at how fast it went. We were finally inside the park around 8 am and were surprised to see people already in the park, since we thought early entry started at 8:30. Either way, we walked over to Rise of the Resistance and got out of the ride around 8:15, so we headed to smugglers run. We loved Rise, but were pretty disappointed by Smuggler's. Afterwards, we explored Galaxy's Edge a bit before heading to an early reservation for Oga's. We honestly had a lot of fun there! I was skeptical because of the posts here, but the only thing I can really complain about are the prices, but what can ya do at Disney? We explored the rest of the park a little bit to ride Runaway Railway and Tower of Terror. We also watched the Indiana Jones show, which is where I found out my partner has never seen an Indiana Jones movie, but we almost always came back to Galaxy's Edge to explore, and ended up riding Rise multiple times because we enjoyed it so much! We ate dinner at Woody's Roundup Rodeo BBQ, and didn't realize that the menu was basically the same for everyone, and ate way too much food because of it. While delicious, I made sure not to make the mistake of overeating after that. We left early as neither of us care too much about watching fireworks shows.
May 6: Our second day was Epcot. Rope dropped Remy's, and still ended up waiting 40 mins. We were fine with it, tho, as we saw the wait go up to 80 mins as we were still in line. It was pretty fun, and we were glad to get it over with earlier. We headed over to the future world section of the park, rode the Figment ride (partner never went on it before and was excited to), then explored a bit before heading to our Cosmic Rewind VQ, which was probably the best coaster I've ever been on. It definitely lives up to the hype I've seen about it. Afterwards, we headed to the land pavilion, ate, then went on Soarin and (my fave ride) Living with the Land! We started our trek around the world, starting with Mexico, and made it to the Japan Pavilion for our reservation at Shiki-Sai for dinner. The food was great, but you definitely don't seem to get a lot for what you pay. We felt full enough afterwards, and decided to head back towards Norway to ride Frozen so we could beat the crowds after the fireworks show (neither of us are big fans of fireworks) overall, this day felt super busy, and is definitely a place that requires multiple days to fully experience for next time. We also made the mistake of not realizing you could buy LL and only book one VQ a day, because I wish we could've ridden Cosmic Rewind again! Next time!
May 7: Our third day was Animal Kingdom (my fave park). Rope dropped Flight of Passage, and ended up waiting about 20-30 mins, but it was my partner's first time riding and he enjoyed it. We both thought the screen looked a little blurry at times, and it made me wonder if the screen was aging or something. Afterwards, we dashed to Kilimanjaro Safaris and waited about 20 mins again, but it was another ride my partner never experienced, and he actually said it was probably his favorite attraction that day. We explored some gift shops and then made our way to Expedition Everest, then down to Dinoland USA. my favorite ride is Dinosaur, and it was one of the only rides we decided to ride more than once because I know Dinoland is on it's last leg before getting replaced. Man, is it in a sad state tho. This is the first time I've been since Primeval Whirl closed, and it definitely makes that area seem so empty. While we were walking past the carnival games, we heard one of the announcers begging for more players to join a game, so we decided to buy two tickets to join. I had never played these carnival games before, as I always thought they were overpriced if you didn't win anything, but I ended up winning! I got a Mickey with a dino institute shirt, which is probably the best souvenir I could've asked for to remember this part of the park. After that, we were done with rides for the day and decided to stroll around the park. We went to Rafiki's Planet Watch, since I remember going as a kid, and it was cool to see the veterinarians working, but definitely more of a place for little ones. The train ride was cool, tho. After strolling around through gift shops and such, we did the Bugs Life show, which was just as terrifying as I remember it as a child. It was also my partner's first time watching this show, and said he understands how this would be terrifying to a child. Well, good riddance to whenever that show gets replaced. After that, we got some burger pods and then left the park early so we could check into Animal Kingdom Lodge and chill in the pool because our feet were killing us. After we got out of the pool, we explored the resort some more, awed at the animals from our balcony, and then got ready for dinner at Boma. This was the meal my partner was most excited for, but unfortunately he was feeling a little sick and ended up not eating that much because of it. We also had an issue with our dining plan for this meal, but our server got it taken care of while we ate. Finally hit the hay after dinner.
May 8: Our last park day was Magic Kingdom. While I was exhausted, and suggested sleeping in since we had extended evening hours, my partner was already up and getting dressed. So, we rope dropped Space Mountain, then headed over to Haunted Mansion, then Thunder Mountain. I was getting hungry, so we got a Nutella fruit waffle from Sleepy Hollow and got to watch the parade while we waited. My partner started acting hangry while waiting in line because he thought we were wasting time, but I knew it was fine because we had extended evening hours. He felt better after eating, tho. We took a break to watch Hall of Presidents, then headed over to Tomorrowland for our Tron VQ. We ended up waiting an hour and a half, honestly maybe even more for?? It was insane, we waited 20-30 mins before we even got to the real line that you scan in for. Why does that happen?? This was definitely the most agonizing wait for us. The ride was really fun, but we thought it was just a tad too short. Even if it was only 5 seconds longer, but it is what it is. We enjoyed it, and definitely wanted to ride it again for extended evening hours. We were exhausted afterwards, though, so we went back to our resort to get some food in a more quiet setting and take a nap. After the nap, we headed back out and watched the tiki room, rode the train to storybook circus, rode the people mover, Pirates, Jungle Cruise, Tron again (which was a walk-on after scanning in), Under the Sea, Winnie the Pooh, and Mine Train. We were definitely speed running the rest of the rides we cared about at the end, but it was definitely worth it considering how short all the waits were. We still had some time left of extended evening hours after Mine Train, but we decided to call it there because we were so exhausted.
May 9: Our last day, which we were so exhausted from the past few days that we just decided to chill at the resort. We ate breakfast at Boma, then just lounged around in the lobby, walked around to look at the animals one last time, and I bought an animal Kingdom Lodge shirt in the gift shop as a souvenir. We took a bus to Disney Springs and immediately took a Lynx bus back to the airport, where we drank some more overpriced alcoholic beverages while waiting for our flight and heading home.
Overall, it was a great trip. Even though I used to work there, it's a completely different experience going to the parks as a guest on a vacation. It was my first time staying at a deluxe resort, too. Something I was iffy about beforehand was the dining plan, but I loved it. It was crazy looking at the prices of all of our meals, and I think it definitely was a good deal for us since we loved all the fun themed alcoholic drinks we could get!
While I love MK, I think next time we might actually skip it. No plans for kids, so we definitely appreciate the aspects of the other parks with more things to do for adults (like going to Epcot everyday for cosmic rewind and alcohol). We both had a great time, and definitely want to start saving up for our next trip!

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

I'm (23F) primarily coming here because I feel like I don't know who I can talk to about this and just need to get some things out. My sister (21F) is graduating from college this spring and has been looking for a job for the past few months. This morning, she found out she got a job in a different state (will become relevant) and my mom (54F) and I were so happy and relieved that she finally got her first job. My dad (51M) on the other hand was pretty furious because it meant that she was moving to a different state and the car he was going to give her no longer would be needed.
For some context, my parents got divorced when my sister and I were pretty young and things haven't really ever been smooth between them. My dad lives in the South, my sister is graduating from a school in the Northeast and going to work elsewhere in the Northeast, and my mom and I live on the West Coast (as we have for all of my life). My mom raised my sister and I and put us through the best private school she could and made sure we were always her first priority (she's the best).
My dad has always been a pretty controlling person, but I've come to a point where I've learned to manage his involvement in my life and have learned how to placate him to a certain degree. Mine and his relationship has gotten a little easier over the past few years for a few reasons but his relationship with my sister has gotten worse. He sees her as not very communicative and not very willing to "meet him halfway" but from her point of view, he's never understood her or taken the time to try to see who she is and what's important to her.
Cut to recently, I graduated from college last year and my graduation gift from him was money (within a certain limit) for a car. He helped me buy the car I chose and had said that the same would be given to my sister the following year (this year) when she graduated. As great as getting money for a car and having help with buying it is, it came with a lot of strings and was not something my sister or I directly asked for. That's not to say we're not grateful for the cars, but he was the one who offered; it wasn't as though we twisted his arm to get him to buy us a car or something.
Now, instead of buying my sister a separate car, he decided he was going to give her his current car so he could buy a different one that better suited his needs. My sister liked the car that he was going to give her, but last year I had been able to research what kind of car would best suit my needs and pick out the car I would end up getting. She was fine with not being able to have the same free reign I did, but perhaps wasn't very communicative with him because she's been trying to complete all of her finals and final assignments as well as try as much as possible to enjoy her last semester of undergrad.
My sister got a few final interviews for a job opportunity in a place where she wouldn't need a car, and she got an offer letter this morning for the job. Instead of congratulating her, my dad said she was "not an adult" and that she needed to "learn to think for herself" instead of deferring to my mom. He said he was "sad and let down" and was upset at how poor the communication between him and my sister was about the car.
More things he said: "I don't deserve this poor communication" "You don't respond to me. Respond to all kinds of social media meanwhile all day" "You only respond at times that work for you. It comes across as selfish/childish". He then sent my mom this nightmare: "It's a fitting end to our coparenting. You've been controlling and a nightmare the entire time. You were never grateful I permitted you to move to SoCal. I didn't want the girls to grow up with a functionally depressed mom in the Bay Area. As always, it's always about you and the girls and you don't ever give a f*ck about their dad. So selfish. Such a bad mom. [my name] gets it. [my sister's name] will in time. I'm honestly ashamed I let you into my life and regret it still to this day. White-trasy, lying, selfish, vain. I told [my name] how your behavior was to break every rule as a co-parent. She understood. I didn't attack you. I did attack the sh*t behavior. Hopefully someday I'll have that chat with [my sister's name] when she gets her head out of her a*s."
Just typing the text makes my blood boil. I don't know what to do. I'm planning to bring this to my therapist in a few days but am not sure what to do until then. I think this could sever my sister's relationship with my dad, and I'm not sure I want to continue mine with him anyway. I'm also pretty uncomfortable with him thinking I'm on his side, but I don't want to meddle further if it's going to make it worse for my mom and sister. There's a lot more context and information I could probably give but for the sake of not writing a novel about the situation, I'll end here.
TLDR: My sister got a job in a big city where cars aren't needed and my dad is upset that he has to sell the car and decided he was going to cuss her and my mom out instead of congratulate her.

i 19f have been working at a business for over a year now. (fake names ofc)
a little back story: it was just my manager 22m (Luke) and i for a while before a girl 18f (Jane) started working with us. during that time i announced that i can only do morning shifts as i take care of children during the afternoons and i can possibly take nights during the weekend. Jane starts demanding morning shifts and im left to fend for myself. i spoke to Luke about my concerns and he said i really didn’t have a place since i started working there just recently (keep in mind this was 4/5 months in at the job) and that she’s been at the location longer than i have.
i end up fixing the child care situation and can do night shifts. Jane no longer works with us and we had a guy 21f (Dave) working for a few months before he left also due to robberies and was scared for his safety. no judgment there but Dave left short notice and didn’t put in a two week notice so that left Luke and i to work overtime. i have been messed up my sleeping and eating schedules. during that time it was spring break so i didn’t need to care for young children because the older kids were home. that week i worked 45 hrs plus my other side jobs, i haven’t had a good break since then until recently we got a new worker (Bob).
Bob’s much older than both Luke and i but he is very immature. he doesn’t answer his phone when we call him for work or when we do schedules and we have to wait until he gets time to call us back. i had to work one day and was waiting for Bob for over an hour, Luke calls him multiple times and he finds out his phone was on dnd and he was sleeping. this would have been okay but Luke tells me that he’s been requested more work time because he has a new child to care for. he demands more work time and hours but doesn’t even text in the work gc or lets us know if something came up and he cant work his shift.
He’s in his late 20s early 30s im assuming and he doesn’t have an ounce of respect for our work environment. supposedly he works at another job which i give him credit for because he’s fucking up this job right now.
currently the situation we have at hand is that we had a planned 2 week schedule with all of us. Luke, Bob and i were present so there was no miscommunication. which helped us a lot to know who’s coming in for shifts. keep in mind im 19f, have 3 side jobs, babysit siblings, and a college student so my schedule is already tight as is.
for the schedule Luke asks me yesterday if Bob messaged me about switching shifts. i look at him confused because i haven’t received any messages for him regarding a swap so i asked Luke what’s he talking about. he shows me that Bob asked Luke instead of messaging in the gc and asked Luke to ask me if its cool to switch shift with him because a family member is in town and leaves the day he’s scheduled.
mind you, if you need to have a day off you need to ask 2 weeks or a week in advanced for everyone to find someone to fill in. the only time you can get the day off at such short notice is if you or a family member gets the flu or covid or any contagious illness. then i would have understood where he’s coming from but right now i dont understand how someone can be so irresponsible. Bob’s family member has been in town for a few days im assuming and not once mentioned needing time to bring them home.
on the other hand Luke is getting pissed off that he’s the middle guy and texts in the gc letting us know that we need to communicate here but Bob still didn’t get the hint and hasn’t texted or called me. Luke goes on to say that if i would take Bob’s shift but i told him i couldn’t do night shift because of my other job.
Luke then texts this morning asking if i can take his morning shift while he does the night shift to accommodate Bob. which i responded i can see because im currently babysitting during the mornings until 2pm and will continue this conversation when i see him as im busy. but i honestly want to tell Luke how i feel and how its not just affecting me but Luke’s sleeping schedule as well.
am i the asshole for not wanting to switch shifts with Bob?

If you’d told me that the visitation with my son, an event that happened only every other weekend, would be extended indefinitely, I would’ve jumped with joy. In the end, I wish the circumstances under which they unfolded had never happened.
The clouds were sightless in the clear sky the day Jasmine dropped off my boy, a perfect day to play a little catch in the yard or go fishing at the nearby stock pond. Cyrus bounced out of the car and ran joyously toward me, unaware that his old man was a perpetual fuck up that had broken up the family in the first place. Oh well.
It was a happy day, the birds sang their old nostalgic tunes of a lost Summer in my own childhood. It was warm, not too warm, and the neighborhood was buzzing with excitement as the Spring showers had come to a close. It was as close as it could get to perfect.
The evening light danced against the tree tops, turning a violet hue as dusk began to settle in. Burnt orange water reflected the dying sun as it continued sinking away to nothing. We grabbed our tackle box, the giant beige one my uncle gifted me before he was stolen by cancer, and filled it with the empty, crumpled up bits of plastic that once held bologna sandwiches. As I said, it was a perfect day, very reminiscent of my own childhood.
We’d thrown the fat bluegill back that we had caught, I hadn’t felt like messing with cleaning and cooking them. Instead, dinner would likely be mac n’ cheese with some cut up hot dogs, a staple in my household whether or not Cyrus was visiting. Hopefully I hadn’t run through Oscar Meyer supply.
Home never felt so lonely, the walls never seemed so barren of old family pictures when Cyrus wasn’t around. Sometimes, he only added to the pain. I would never tell him that, though.
Even with the faucet turned all the way up, the water dribbled out and made boiling pasta a very patient game. Cyrus was babbling about some game he was playing on my phone. ‘He’s just a kid’, I thought, and pretended to be interested in whatever the hell he was talking about.
The sun had vanished and the moon was especially bright that night, having slid nearly halfway to its crescendo before dinner was finally done. Cyrus had stolen my phone to the living room, staring at the bright characters absentmindedly as a nondescript Netflix show played in the background.
“Here, buddy, sorry about the wait”, I sat the bowl of neon yellow stuff in front of him, the pink scramble of hotdog jutting out made me feel… a little ashamed? I plopped down next to him and flipped through the various titles on Netflix, most of which I had already seen a couple of times. Cyrus tossed the phone aside and picked at the mess of ‘food’ in the bowl. I can’t remember if he took a bite or not.
“Dad!”, I jumped, reeling from the doze I had fallen in. If Jasmine was here, it would’ve been such a perfect day, such a perfect day. Instead, this is where it all fell apart.
He massaged furiously at his temples, his knees pulled tight against his heaving chest.
“What’s the matter, are you okay?”, I jumped from the couch and got on one knee, putting my hands around his shoulders. I watched helplessly as Cyrus twisted and contorted his body, trying to run away from whatever pain was in his head.
Suddenly he fell still.
I studied him for a while, nearly on the verge of tears as his body had become totally limp. Then, a noise. At first it was quiet, then it grew and grew until it filled the room with totality. It’s hard to describe that noise, almost like a wind turbine if you were up close to it.
From behind the couch, just above my sons head, it peeked at me. Its thick, black fingers ended at sharp, nailess points. Just as I met its eyes, it slithered behind the couch and that’s when Cyrus awoke in a screaming fit.
I jumped awake again, Cyrus sitting next to me as pale as a sheet. His eyes were bulging, glued to the blank TV ahead.
I couldn’t help but check behind the couch, to make sure it wasn’t still there. Then, to my son who was still staring at the nothing on the television. His mouth was hanging open, just enough to allow the continuous stream of drool to fall out.
I ran to the kitchen to grab a paper towel and cleaned the odd amount of drool from his chin. There wasn’t a thermometer in the house but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that he was burning up. A fever, I thought.
I carried the boy to his bedroom, feeling as though I was being watched the entire way, and tucked him into bed. A doctors visit would soon be on the horizon. I returned to the couch in the living room, careful to keep my gaze fixed on the TV and nothing else. Truthfully, I was too afraid to look in the shadowy corners.
That night was filled with nightmares.
The next day I rang Jasmine, letting her know that Cy was sick and needed to go to the doctor. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t have been an issue, but Jas was immunocompromised (she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before we divorced) and my son would be staying with me for the foreseeable future. I couldn’t complain, I didn’t get to see him nearly enough as it was.
That day was very much the opposite of the previous, the sky was gloomy and spits of rain fell consistently from dawn to nightfall.
The doctor had said that Cyrus had a particularly severe ear infection, but nothing that some antibiotics couldn’t fix. He sent us home with a tube of the stuff, my wallet noticeably lighter.
“Apply some of this twice a day, once in the morning and once before bedtime”, the older gentleman had said. He squeezed my shoulder and smiled, though there seemed to be something else behind his wary eyes.
He stopped me again as I turned to leave.
“Sir…”, he started, though he seemed to study his words carefully, “your son kept mentioning something he called the flumes”.
I shrugged, the only time I had heard the word was in reference to a ravine on the edge of town where we’d all smoke pot in high school. Nothing struck me as odd about it at the time.
“They come from the flumes, those noises, those noises, he kept saying”, the doctor pushed closer, his eyes growing wild. I stepped backward, tugging at Cy’s hand as we left the building wordlessly.
Aside from my busy mind, the car ride home was utterly silent. I could hear my boys heavy, labored breaths all the way from the backseat. ‘Inner ear infection, my ass’, I thought.
After laying Cyrus back down for bed, I fixed him a bowl of instant chicken and noodles and decided to give Jasmine a call. The phone rang endlessly before the robotic voice indicated that the caller wasn’t available. I tried once more but gave up after it rang a few more times. Probably sleeping.
I returned to the couch, deciding to rewatch Nightmare on Elm Street for the fourth or fifth time.
After a while, I decided to put on cable, growing tired of the listless titles on Netflix. I was never too interested in the local news, but today seemed as good as any to catch up on the towns happenings. The Grantfield Gators girls softball team had advanced to sectionals and one of the townsfolk were celebrating their 100th birthday.
A ‘Breaking News’ graphic slid below the frazzled newslady on the television. Wherever she was, it sure looked familiar.
‘Wild dog shits on mayors front yard’, I laughed at my own stupid joke and surely turned as white as Cyrus had the previous night as the lady on the TV continued.
“A local woman was found tied to a tree and disemboweled at the scene. Police are saying various symbols were branded all over the womans body, and the material used to bind her to the Elm tree was ‘of unusual property’”, she continued on for a while but I hadn’t noticed, the air had fallen heavy and that familiar warbling had filled the room again.
Heavy footsteps slammed up the staircase at an otherworldly pace. Up the staircase and towards my sons room.
I ran, I swear I ran as fast as I could but I knew… I knew.
When I got to his room, he was gone, the curtains blowing aimlessly in the wind as the window had been slammed open so hard that the glass had shattered in the panes. The bowl of chicken and noodles sat on the bedside table, untouched.
I tried calling Jasmine again and again and again. Still, no answer.
I wanted to write this, to whoever may be reading, so that you know where to look if I don’t return. I know where my son is, I know where Jasmine is.
The flumes took them, or whatever might be lurking in it.

I know the age gap looks bad but 2020 was a wild year, I met my partner a couple months before the pandemic and during that weird phase of the lockdowns in which we started to create social bubbles we started sort of dating until it became something more serious. We both were single, he doesn't have any kids and has never been married. Two years ago he received a promotion and moved to a different city, we visit each other regularly and call/text daily, we both are aware that our relationship will likely fall apart in a few years but try to make the most of what we have while we have it.
I'm starting grad school in August and moving to another city, when I told him that I was admitted and where I would be going he requested to be transferred to that same city, so that we could live closer –we never discussed moving in together or adopting a pet or moving forward in our relationship in any way, neither did I asked him to transfer.
Around February I started to notice he seemed worried and thought it might have to do with us living in the same city again, but he disregarded my concerns every time I tried to address it. He had planned to visit me for Spring Break but canceled last minute, saying he had a work emergency and wouldn't be taking any time off, so I offered to travel instead and meet him there but he declined and has been acting skittish ever since, refusing to answer if I want to FaceTime him and more recently communicating only via text.
Last Thursday he sent me a text saying that he needed to have his gall bladder and appendix removed and that it would happened on Monday (yesterday), I offered to fly in to accompany him and take care of him post surgery but he refused, saying his sister and BIL –who both live in the same city and I've met before– would do it. Last night I received a call from his former secretary, asking how the surgery went, if we needed any help and when he would start chemo, I felt my soul leaving my body and asked her what she was talking about, she went silent for a minute and then spilled it all out. He didn't have his gall bladder removed, he had his whole stomach removed, he has stomach cancer and needs to start treatment ASAP, he hasn't been able to eat any solid food since mid February and is anemic. I just broke down crying and went into complete shock, I didn't know what to tell her, I didn't realize when the call ended or how I back home, I've been shaking ever since.
I just can't process that the man I've shared almost four years of my life with does not trust me enough to tell me he's having such a hard time and that his former secretary knows more about his life than I do. I know this sounds selfish but I just don't know how to express the sense of betrayal, disparage and anger I'm feeling. Am I suppose to be supportive? Am I suppose to confront him? Should I fly in and act like a caring girlfriend? Is this the fallout we've been expecting?
I haven't reach out to him yet, I just don't know how. If anyone has any advice I would really appreciated.
TLDR. My (25F) partner of four years (45M) said he would get a gall bladder surgery but his former secretary told me the real diagnosis.

Genocide looked to the sky. He thought of his mentor. The one who had saved him. He remembered his childhood. How powerless he was. He remembered the anger. He never wanted to hurt anybody. He thought of all the times he showed compassion. How much they hurt him for it. He saw the world before him, a graveyard. Humans. People that were supposed to be made in the image of some divine creator. They were but maggots feasting upon his remains. They ate away at his very being until nothing human remained. His thoughts were no longer his own. He had no joys in life that mattered. He hated humanity more than he could love anything about himself. He remember his first killing spree. Being gunned down by police. Left for dead. He remembered a hooded figure moving towards him. Getting closer the more he neared his death. He saw its pale face. Its impossibly black eyes. It was a man. This figure in question appeared to be of Japanese nationality with long, straight, loose hair. It emanated extreme malice. It offered him a choice. A purpose. Power. He thought the figure a reaper but it identified itself as Amakusa Masataka. Masataka guided him on how to kill and gave him specific locations to kill people in. In a sense, he became a hitman for quotas of people. He inquired what Masataka was. The presence of evil, his ability to appear and disappear at will, how he could control what people could see him and what people couldn't. While vague, years of killing for this being offered some insight. Amakusa Masataka belonged to a group of people not of this world. His people had been corrupted by a dark force long ago and had aligned themselves with the warlord who had subjugated their version of Japan. Their dark high priest assisted the warlord along with two others. These four rulers in turn served a larger order. The four were tasked with bringing about the end of the current world as an act of retribution for some fallen deity. Masataka's people acted as covert operatives for this empire. They were feared across the land and were collectively referred to as "Shinigami". An agent of the coming apocalypse, a servant of evil possessed by the will of those gods of death, Genocide would walk the earth.
Genocide stepped toward the station. A police cruiser rammed into him. He pulled out a knife and stabbed the hood of the car. The inhuman force of the knife created sparks which burst the engine into flames. The car crashed into a streetlight and exploded. A second cruiser neared the scene. No way a man could have done this. Yet still, out of the fires Genocide strode forth. It set upon the second vehicle, shooting out it's tires while jumping 9 feet into the air. The car tries to reverse but crashes into a wall. Genocide lands on the hood and kicks through the front window. Glass shatters under its boot, blinding the two officers inside. Genocide shoots one of the officers with a shotgun, killing him. The second officer in the passenger seat readies his pistol and takes aim. Only two shots fired, both directed at Genocide's head. It casually cocks its neck to avoid them. Then it grabs the officer's arm, breaking it. Genocide uses its free hand to grab the officer's head and bangs it into the dashboard no less than 5 times. The skull is shattered on the final impact. Genocide jumps off the car and continues on his mission.
Detective Evans speaks through a megaphone," This is your first and final warning. Stand down or we will use any and all means at our disposal to put you down." Genocide dropped its shotgun and raised its hands. A group of five SWAT team members rushed out the station, surrounding Genocide with riot shields. An officer accompanies them, edging behind the figure to apply handcuffs. Suddenly, Genocide springs to life , grabbing the officer behind him. He flips the officer over his head, slamming him into the pavement at his feet. Then Genocide stomps his head causing it to burst. Genocide drops a flash bomb from his coat sleeve, blinding the SWAT team as he draws his knife. He drives it into one SWAT member, the knife puncturing the shield and piercing his chest. Genocide kicks the corpse away withdrawing his knife. He goes to another, this time using the end of his boot toe in a rising kick to disarm their shield. He grabs them by the throat and drives the knife slowly into their eye socket. Another is tackled to the ground and beaten to death despite still being under the shield. Another is picked up and thrown into the fires still burning from the first auto incident. In no time, Genocide stood before an indistinguishable mass of gore, blood streaking across his black leather outfit. He laughed" So this is all you can give me. I'm not entertained." Officers took aim from the station windows, and snipers did so from other rooftops. Genocide laughed maniacally as he was rained down upon from all sides by a hailstorm of bullets. His body convulsed, but he did not fall. Moments more and he was on his knees. Still though, their efforts were futile. Gracia looked out and saw a black mist coalescing around the man in black. His blood. Blood erupted from his body only to transform into this dark mist that reentered his wounds. Genocide screamed. No. It was just an elevated pitch in his laughter. Optimism failed everyone yet again. Gracia saw Genocide holding something in his right hand. She could only make out a beeping red light. Genocide pushed the button triggering the carefully concealed explosives he laid in preparation for this event. C4 explosives went off in all the places he saw fit. The sniping posts he couldn't reach. The assault of lead lightened. Then Genocide drew an RPG from...somewhere. He collected himself and fired at the station's entrance. The explosion shook the station. From inside, the lights began to flicker. Communications were down on all fronts. Had he modified the rocket with some type of EMP? Not good. Amisdst the confusion Genocide entered using smoke bombs to mask his presence. Moving like a shadow, he killed everyone in the lobby silently with his knife. He made his way to the holding cells. Still they chanted. Still they praised. Still they raved for the arrival of genocide. Genocide shot the lock opening the cell. Jim Jimenez walked out and bowed before his master. Genocide smiled. He couldn't have imagined how proficient he had gotten with possession. Well, not quite possession. He had known of the Shinigami's ability to share their thoughts and emotions with humans. Shinigami like his mentor were ancient. They had so many years of memories, such strong a hatred for life that they overwhelmed the personality of the victim. The victim sees themselves as one of them. Shinigami can't force the will of the victim, so they find those who are already similar to them in some way. Genocide found the collective universal distrust of police to be a prime sentiment to capitalize on. He armed the inmates, infecting them with samples of his own dark essence.One particular inmate caught Genocide's eye. He knew the man's work. An arsonist. The one whom he recalls was responsible for blowing up his first car way back in high school. Rather than a standard firearm, Genocide gave the man a random assortment of grenades containing a special surprise. Genocide showed them visions of anarchy, of sending a message to a society that used and disregarded them. While this was also true of how he felt, years of living in darkness had changed him. He needed no purpose. No end goal. No justification. He just wanted to watch the world burn.
Genocide's small army broke off to engage several different wings of the station. Genocide went to the security room. He found Wayne, his informant, playing some FPS on one of the monitors. Wayne took of his headphones and asked," You kill everyone yet?" Genocide responded," No. You should get going before that happens. Your life becomes fair game if I run out of pigs to cook." Wayne clapped his hands, "Aight, GC my man, say less." He packed his things and left. Genocide drew a twin pair of handguns and laid waste to the station. He followed a group that took cover in the men's restroom. Kicking open multiple stalls he was surprised to find...nothing. Where had they gone? He turned around and saw his mentor, Masataka, smiling at him. It looked like him. Long, dark hair, black clothing, and soulless, empty eyes. But it wasn't. It was Genocide's own reflection in the mirror. Genocide smiled. He didn't notice the changes at first. They must have happened gradually. Subconsciously. From the final stall, an officer sprung into action, rushing Genocide, hitting him point blank with a shockgun round. Genocide felt the tingling sensation electrifying his body and grew numb. In spite of the pain, he took a single step. Then, another. He came within striking range of the officer and snatched the shockgun. Two more officers erupted from another stall, battering him with baton strikes. Genocide felt nothing. He clutched the shockgun in his hand like a bat and went to work pulverizing his attackers. An officer kicked in the bathroom door, a woman holding a pistol. She fired multiple times to no effect. Genocide stood covered in blood. He even let her reload. Twice. He wanted to see her despair. Her hopelessness. He walked towards her, shrugging off bullets as they pierced his body. His wounds healed nigh instantly due to the dark essence he had been imbued with. He held her face with both hands, lifting her body off the ground. As she screamed, he used her head to shatter the restroom mirror, running down the full length of it while smashing her into it at several points. He dropped the remains of what he held, washed his hands with soap, dried them, then exited the restroom.
The inmates that rallied for the cause of genocide attacked the station. Fortunately, they were nowhere near Genocide in terms of power and only carried one type of firearm each. They shared his healing ability but could be killed quite easily. Gracia encountered a sniper on the end or a west wing hallway. Other officers waited behind corners unable to get close. Gracia noticed the faulty lighting. In this hallway, the lights flickered in intervals of 3 seconds. Finding a pattern and timing her movements, she rushed the sniper at the exact moment the lights went out. Running the length of the hall, Gracia zigzagged, dodging the sniper inmate's bullets. She jumped on a wall, ran 3 feet on it, then kicked off it, pouncing on the assailant. She fired five shots into him, making sure to hit the brain and the heart. Two severe injuries that were impossible for Shinigami essence to heal simultaneously. Elsewhere, Evans took on another escaped inmate. A vehicular arsonist named Carson. Carson had a bag filled with an assortment of different grenades and was happily giving them out like candy on Halloween. "A flash bang here, a bit of tear gas there. Oh. Wait! Was that an ice grenade? Did the explosion freeze your leg to the floor? Whoops. Maybe a fire grenade will melt that for you. Hold on let me get one fore you," Carson rambled gleefully. Evans looked at the carnage before him. Officers burning. Officers partially frozen in blocks of ice. He took a breath and aimed his wristgun. He steadied his right forearm. Carson readied to throw a random grenade. Evans shot it the moment it left Carson's hand. The grenade exploded directly in front of Carson. Both Evans and Carson looked at each other in shock. Confetti. A party grenade? Carson quickly fumbled for another but was tackled and restrained by several officers. Meanwhile in the South wing, Lary had some colleagues set a trap for another shotgun toting inmate. He had them bait the inmate and flee. Giving chase he turned a corner and ran straight into Lary's fist. The inmate recovered and motioned to shoot Lary. "Let's tango. " Lary gave the code word. Nearby officers activated a device. A signal jammer of sorts. The inmate shoved the barrel of his gun into Lary's gut and pulled the trigger. Nothing. The special signal jammer in question was designed for firearms. It was a last resort as it left officers just as defenseless. Lary was having fun. He boxed the inmate in hand to hand combat. Despite the inmate's enhanced strength, Lary's technique pulled through. Lary ducked under one of the inmate's wide punches and did some type of rising uppercut where he jumped off the ground while spinning. One of the other officers whispered" The rising dragon." Lary smiled giving a thumbs up" Yeah, it was a rising dragon uppercut. Saw it in one O my kid's vidya games. Thought I'd try it out while I'm jacked on adrenaline".
Jim Jimenez looked long and hard at himself in the mirror. He was in the women's restroom. Some brainless woman had broken the men's restroom mirror with her face. For the first time in a long while Jim could think clearly. He was becoming sane. At the least he was no longer a raving lunatic. The life essence of the dark gods had healed the wounds to both his body and his mind. He saw his face, his scraggly dirty beard. He found a razor and shaved. He trimmed his beard somewhat. He liked it. He washed his hair. It fell down his face like silk, no longer greasy. His bloodshot eyes once burning with crazed intensity had cooled. He blinked. Just for a second, he saw the man known as Genocide. The man that attacked him. The one that killed him and gave him new life. The drug dealers. The police. They were all the same in his eyes now. They were all to blame for the world being what it is. Jim wanted to hate them. He wanted to take revenge, but he felt nothing. It didn't matter. He knew he was wronged, could logically justify acting against them, but he just didn't care anymore. About anything. He was finally free. Sensing his presence was no longer needed here, Jim vanished into the night. He needed to find someone who had had the answers he needed. Himself. Who had he been? Who was he now? Who could he become? Where was he going? So many questions to ponder indefinitely. So much time left in the rest of his life.
Genocide ran down the station's halls raining hailstorms of bullets upon its occupants. He had a handgun in each hand as well as a wristgun on each wrist. This effectively gave him 4 separate firearms that he could use simultaneously. Lary regrouped with Gracia, Evans, and a handful of others. They radioed all surviving officers near Genocide to flee to the roof. This plan had been set in motion days before the assault and had been kept hidden from most of the force. The plan involved scheduling flights for several helicopters to arrive at some point after Genocide arrived. There would be no way for him to prepare for them and pre-scheduling their arrival ensured they arrived regardless of if they were called or not. Lary and the others set about preparing the second jamming device. Genocide stood among a hallway of bodies. He saw one man clinging to life trying to crawl away. He decided on trying that other thing he saw his master do. He grabbed the dying man and pinned him to the wall. Slowly he drove a knife into his chest. As the man's life slipped away, something else entered his body. Genocide channeled a small amount of his essence into the vessel. He had steadily done this with other casualties around the station whose bodies were somewhat salvageable. He dropped the body he was holding and looked upon the others. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his eyed were black, both sclera and iris. The scene before him changed. Genocide had a vision. He saw a dead gray wasteland littered with bodies. These people however weren't cops and wore traditional Japanese attire. In his hand wasn't a gun or knife but a short sickle akin to a farming tool. He heard a dark voice call out to him. Slowly, the corpses around him began to rise, now mere puppets bound eternally to their master's whim. The bodies sold to the reaper who had claimed their lives. Genocide's vision ended. His eyes had returned normal. Around him, dead cops began to rise. His dark essence had entered their bodies and reanimated them. He sent his dead army to attack the officers fleeing to the roof of the station. These zombies swarmed the stairwell giving chase to the few survivors. There were five of them. They had two flights of stairs to climb and a horde of their former colleagues close behind them. One officer tripped and was set upon by the horde. The zombies didn't bite them but held them firmly in place. The other four officers stared down wondering what to do. They could hear Genocide chuckling. They could hear humming. They could feel the temperature rising. Their colleague and the two zombies holding him were hit by an enormous green fireball. Genocide had fired a Magnum Opus and had charged the bullet to level 3. The Magnum Opus was simply a magnum that shot fireballs, with bullets that could be charged by holding down the trigger. It had three levels of charges. Level 1 was a small reddish ball of plasma. Level 2 was slightly larger and yellow. Level 3 was the maximum charge and resulted in a large slow moving green blast of energy. The officer was ignited and Genocide watched gleefully as the force of the blast sent him flying through a wall. The four officers continued up firing occasionally to slow down the zombies. Soon they made it to a door leading to the roof. Before one officer could reach it, he was sniped by Genocide, a bullet to the head killing him instantly. The remaining three made it out. They regrouped with the others already there, 12 in total, including Lary, Evans, and Gracia. This would be their final stand. They just had to hold out until Genocide made it up there. They just had to keep Genocide occupied until the helicopters arrived. Genocide slowly ascended the stairs behind his horde. On the roof, the remaining survivors faced off against waves of the undead. Evans recognized the attackers. These zombies were being controlled by nanomachines. He heard the stories of several weapons encountered by soldiers on the battlefield. These creatures were called Metaldeads as they were reanimated via machines. They had been officially banned by most of the worlds' governments for being unethical. However, this did not stop the technology from being spread still between shady organizations, terrorists, etc. Evans wondered how Genocide got this form of nanotechnology. Evans long speculated that the dark essence used by most of the killers they encountered was a a form of nanotech however it was different from anything else he had seen or heard about. The dark essence seemed to be an amalgamation of other types of nanotech. Evans had to save his inquiries for later. He reloaded his wristgun and took aim at the approaching group of Metaldeads. Gracia steadied her handgun and shot two Metaldeads in the head. From the single door countless arms seemed to spill forth from the darkness. The other officers took turns firing in intervals. this allowed them to create a steady stream of fire where no more that three guns needed to be reloaded at once. The horde seemed to thin out over time as if they were making progress. In actuality, the Metaldeads were just making room for Genocide to enter. Genocide exploded in a sprint from the door. Everyone fired upon the killer. Genocide had now chosen a wrist mounted mini flamethrower to use as his weapon. He stormed past the oncoming bullets taking some damage, but refused to slow down. He unleashed a stream of fire that caught five of the officers in one fell swoop. Gracia fired five rounds into Genocide's face. He stumbled back. Lary took the chance to fire several mine gun bullets at Genocide's feet. The mines quickly detected his movement and exploded. In seconds, Genocide was on his back.
Staring at the night sky Genocide saw the moon. He reached for it. He called for the darkness to give him more power. His wounds began healing. In the sky he could hear the whirl of propellers. There were six helicopters in total. The first two had evacuated the survivors while the others stayed to engage Genocide. Genocide got up and unstrapped the sniper rifle from his back. He stood before the searchlights as a black silhouette, cornered but unwilling to back down. Lary stared down at him smiling. "Okay!" He shouted, "Let's Tango!" Upon this declaration the second jamming device was activated. Now, isolated on the roof, Genocide's guns couldn't be fired and the helicopters were out of range of the device. Now Genocide stood like a sitting duck. A helicopter fired a rocket. Genocide side stepped and grabbed it. He turned his body redirecting the rocket to hit another helicopter. As it exploded Genocide drew his knife and threw it at another helicopter. Behind the knife was such force that it shattered the helicopter window's glass, embedding itself in the pilot. This helicopter too went down where it exploded. "Holy clucknuggets!Did you see that!?" Lary said dumbfounded. Evans looked out the helicopter door he was in jaw open in shock. "There's no way." He collected himself quickly and radioed the remaining two helicopters to keep moving and to use their machineguns as much as possible. The helicopters reigned down upon Genocide tearing apart his body. Shreds of leather and darkened blood sprayed across the pavement of the roof. Gracia watched as Genocide's body was destroyed repeatedly as it tried to heal. Surely he had to stop at some point. After 10 minutes the helicopters had exhausted their cache of ammunition and soldiers opted to fire their own rifles and occasionally throw grenades. After about six minutes, they too had run out of bullets. Genocide stood unfazed. He had long since healed himself and now appeared intangible with gunfire seeming to pass through his body. His coat once ripped , now appeared whole though on closer inspection seemed to writhe. Gracia looked in horror as she remembered the tales her adopted father had told her. Tales he had in turn heard from his predecessors. Every so often officers had reported encounters with ghost like beings cloaked in a cloud of living dark mist. The beings were rumored to be responsible for the deaths of multiple people ranging from scientists, veterans, mafia, politicians, etc. They were seen near such crime scenes and even more shockingly appeared around several sites where suicides were committed. These beings were reportedly impervious to bullets and filled anyone who got near with an impending sense of dread. If Genocide was connected to them or somehow turning into one , there was little chance they would be able to defeat him. Gracia's fears were confirmed when she saw that Genocide's leather coat had been destroyed and he had replaced it with the dark mist coalescing from his own spilled blood. The dark mist, swirling, grew larger and several tendrils sprouted out from it. Gracia could briefly make out a figure standing next to Genocide. A hooded figure cloaked in the same black substance. The figure stared up at her with soulless, blackened eyes which seemed to beckon her to jump from the aircraft she was standing in. Compelling her to give in to the death that plagued the earth. Genocide kneeled to his master. The Shinigami, Masataka stared down at his disciple. "You have done a great service to us. Even now the sealed god stirs in its slumber. Its...Awakening will soon be upon us. It calls out for war. It begs for famine. It longs to continue its conquest. We are the death it so desires. The death that is necessary for this civilization to grow. Use the power that I have bestowed upon you. Finish the mission as you see fit." The Shinigami vanished and Genocide stood.Genocide stared at his hands. He remembered the first killing spree. He was on a bus. It stopped. A woman got on the bus and walked to the back smiling as she passed him. Something about her eyes unnerved him. They were so bright but something dark reflected inside them. He ignored the thought and put in his headphones. In minutes he had dozed off. He jumped awake. He looked around and froze in panic. All around him, everyone had been hacked to pieces. He saw the driver, actively being stabbed by a masked assailant. The mask, painted white with black eyeholes, stared back at him. It raised a finger over where its lips would be. Even under the expressionless visage, he could feel that same smile. He ran home that morning. He went to his room to find it destroyed. His posters, his computer, his tv, everything, had been ruined. He turned around and saw a man at the end of the hallway holding a sledge hammer. "The hell you been, boy?", his stepdad sneered. The man dropped his hammer and walked closer, veins pulsing with rage. He tried to explain how his car had caught fire forcing him to walk 4 miles to the nearest bus stop, but the man's fist was faster than his words. "Boy!Answer me when I talk to you!!" the man says as he backhands the taste out of the would be Genocide's mouth. He took that beating for several minutes before being left to stare at his ransacked room. He hated how his stepdad went out of his way to destroy the things he loved. Soon, another set of footsteps could be heard. It was his mother standing behind his locked door. She didn't knock, or say anything. She just stood there, doing nothing as always. He never knew if she came to talk to him or apologize. All he knew was that she could never bring herself to speak to or even acknowledge him. Maybe out of guilt or perhaps shame. A year or two later after he had had enough he ran away from home. Living out on the streets alone, without friends, or family, he would embark on countless killing sprees. These killings weren't of his own volition however. He was coerced by some corrupt officers from The Unit. They made him kill on their behalf. Sometimes they were protesters, sometimes they were drug dealers, other times, petty criminals they couldn't be bothered to process. It was routine for him to be used to kill entire houses of drug riddled addicts. During one such venture he entered a drug den, killing the dealer as instructed. He took out several junkies before turning to leave. A woman who survived her injuries clung to his heel begging him to stop. Looking down he aimed the handgun he was carrying at her head of long disheveled brown hair and fired. Feeling nothing, he kicked her body aside like trash when it hit him. Her face. This woman had been his mother. What was she doing in a place like this? He felt a shock of emotion. He wondered if she had always been like this, or had she changed after he left. He never made amends, but decided to stop killing from then on. The unit did not like that. Once it became apparent that he was no longer of use to them they started a manhunt to apprehend him with lethal force. They found him. They killed him. But he survived.
He remembered the girl on the bus. He remembered her eyes. Those of a sadistic killer. Still there was something else inside them. Something faint but deeper. So. Much. Sadness. Just like him. He felt the hatred begin to spread. His purpose, he decided, was to make all humans rot in the hell they created for him.
These people, he thought to himself, these living diseases, all needed to die. Their struggles, their problems, they spread like cancer to others. The only cure for humanity's sin, its collective wrongdoings, was genocide.
Around him, dark tendrils continued to form and expand, spinning in a vortex. Genocide pulled out two pistols. He squeezed the triggers to no effect. "As I see fit, huh? Hehe." He squeezed both guns in his hands, breaking them into pieces. He concentrated. In his hands, two more guns materialized now completely black due to being forged from the dark essence. Forged by his will. Immune to the jamming device that shut down conventional firearms. He raised his arms at each remaining helicopter and opened fire. Countless tendrils whipped out and slashed at his targets joining the dark essence bullets. It was chaos. Dark tendrils and bullets tore through every direction as Genocide spun and swirled around in 360 degrees firing randomly with purpose. A tendril pierced Gracia's right arm, another, her abdomen. She was however, fortunate, as the other passengers of her helicopter were dismembered. She barely had time to jump from the vehicle before it crashed. She fell 2 yards onto solid concrete. She felt immense pain as her right shoulder shattered on impact. She looked up to see Genocide's blade like appendages ripping through the other escape helicopters. She rolled onto her back and tried to steady herself. Within seconds her body began to repair itself. The nanocells inside her had saved her life but were now depleted. She would need another supplement lest she receive another fatal injury. The standard nanocells she and the others had were much less potent than those of the killers they faced. In truth, they had only minimal strength boosts being able to lift 5-8 more pounds than before and healing being limited to one or two fatal injuries so long as death didn't occur instantly. Gracia blacked out. She awoke the next morning in a hospital. There the doctors refilled her nanocells. She learned that the station had been left in ruins. Genocide had detonated some type of minature nuke following his rampage. He always blew up the stations as if to send a message. Gracia looked out the window thinking about why she became a cop. Twice her family had been murdered by them. Her biological family had been killed in an on record drug raid committed by a group of corrupt officers called The Unit. She had been adopted by another officer that arrived at the scene who found her as a child hiding in a closed. Sadly, he too was killed for trying to expose the activities of The Unit. Gracia joined the force to avenge both losses and bring justice to the killers that disguised themselves as normal people. Law enforcement was neither good, nor bad. It depended upon the people that made it up. In the dying corrupt world Gracia lived in, she vowed to be a beacon of light. Evans laid in a bed adjacent to Lary. "That damn Genocide's somethin else in' he?Like the stories you told us were understatements. That man could legit not die at this point in the story. Like he has friggin plot armor or somthin.'' Evans cut him off" I get it. We all got our asses handed to us. But did you see that ..thing that appeared next to him. Right before he created that black vortex that wiped us out. That must have something to do with his power. Maybe there's a still a way to stop him."Lary chimed in," That fella looked like he was on the way to a black metal concert wit all the black facepaint he was wearin' Creeped me out to be honest." As the survivors mulled over their predicament, the cycle of evil continued to spread elsewhere.
Budley flips through the pages of a magazine. He checks his watch. He looks around the gas station and doesn't see any customers. Seizing the opportunity, he puts in his headphones and begins playing an imaginary guitar as he jams to a progressive deathcore album. Oblivious to the screams coming from outside, the store clerk moves on to thumping two candy bars on the counter to simulate drums. Budley sees that his shift has ended and begins locking up the store. He sweeps the aisles and jumps as a shadow appears behind him. He turns and sees a well groomed bearded man dressed in a black hoodie, black shirt, and black and gray camo pants. The man holds out his hand and smiles. Budley rings up the pack of nicotine substitute gum. "Tryin to kick the habit huh?" Budley asks. The man replies, "Somethin like that. Gotta get my priorities back in check. Focus on the things that really matter. That damn KonCreep's a hell of a band aren't they?" He nods to the playlist on Budley's phone. "Yeah, they're killer. just got into them a month back." Budley answers. "You know, I'm something of a musician myself. Maybe you'll hear of me on the news someday." Jim Jimenez says as he sees himself out. He walks to the back of the building and passes an ominous form of graffiti. A woman lays unmoving and above her, written on concrete in red is a message that simply says "Genocide Reigns".

Hi everyone!
I wanted to give a detailed review of my experience with sm global package for taemin’s metamorph concert in tokyo at the nippon budokan. I am months delayed in posting this (thanks to grad school) but I initially wrote it out of post-concert depression prior to returning to the states back in March.
buying the global package, twin ver:
the package was announced sometime in december 2023 if im not mistaken and I stayed up until midnight (pst) on 1/22 to book a twin package for ‘course c’ which was 2N3D (sunday concert 3/10) for my friend and I. The packages that included all three nights (5D3N) of the show sold out the quickest, but there were still packages available for individual show days. As a tip to make things easier, make sure to have your friends’ passport info to input in advance so the booking goes easier if you are booking a twin package. If you are the one making the booking, make sure to have the global package app downloaded as they will send you notifications along the way about day of show schedule, merch preorder, etc. They ask that you relay this info to your partner when you purchase a twin package, as you are the primary reservation holder. You also cannot split the cost while booking, it must go on one card through paypal. When booking, you have the option to request extending your stay at the hotel through sm c&c, but since we were planning to go to Kyoto after the concert, we just checked out the day after the concert as planned. Also we didn’t have any ACE memberships, but if I remember correctly, you can enter that info to get an exclusive MD benefit.
merch preorder:
Prior to arriving in Japan, we got a notification at around 6pm pst on 2/28 (11 days prior to the show) with our exclusive merch preorder links which went live at midnight that same night. The prices were in yen and you pay using paypal. I had no problem getting the MD I wanted, however since there were limits on the amount of MD you could purchase (including the 2 different pins, which were 1 per order) I had to ask my friend if I could purchase an additional pin through his MD preorder link since there were 2 different pins in this specific concert MD. The day of the show (3/10) at around 10am, we picked up the MD we preordered with ease and pulled our concert seat tickets and received our global package exclusive gift (a mag safe wallet) and let the staff know which transports we would be taking (round trip bus or one way to/from the venue). I was a ljttle disappointed in the global package benefit MD as I had seen what the metamorph show in Korea had received (I think it was a handwritten letter from Taemin and a little lego figurine of him 🤧). Everything was smooth and efficient. Even after the concert, I was able to get into the MD line to purchase more, even though most of the MD was sold out.
checking in/out of the hotel & hotel review:
We stayed at the Hotel Monterey Hanzomon which was really close to the venue and across the street from the Hanzomon subway line, so it was very accessible by public transit. My friend and I both flew into Haneda and it took a little less than an hour to get to the hotel from the airport via public transit, but after a 12.5 hour long flight it was exhausting. When I asked the people at the airport if there was an airport limousine to the area, they said it wouldn’t take me close enough to the hotel and recommended I take the subway. We had met a few people in line for the MD pickup who said that we (allegedly) had a nicer hotel than those who did the NCT 127 global package for their Tokyo dome show (same weekend) but all in all, Hanzomon was an economy hotel with nothing to write home about. I will say the breakfast buffet included was really nice and I’m glad we didn’t skip out on it. When we checked in the day before the show, we just showed our passports and checked in like any other hotel. In the lobby there was a whiteboard with all of the concert info (opening times for md pickup, bus schedules, and concert schedule) displayed in english, korean, chinese, and japanese. I was a little bummed to find out that the concert (which took place in the middle of the afternoon) was only going to be an hour and a half maximum, even though NCT’s concert was almost 4 hours (!!!) in length.
day of show:
We had breakfast in the lobby around 8:30/9ish then after that we got to the sm desk at 9:45am to pick up our md and pick our tickets for the show (thanks to the tip from another fan on reddit, well worth getting there a little before the booth opened). I did notice the ACE membership MD benefits were nice, but neither me nor my friend have any fanclub memberships. It was relatively straightforward, they checked our passports and handed us a lanyard that acted as our bus pass and then one person per twin package picks the pair of tickets at random (in sets of 2 so you sit with your friend) and we got seats in section A3 (floor) which were great. They asked us if we wanted a seat on the bus ride round trip or one way and we originally said only one ride to the venue, but my friend decided to take the bus back too once we got to the venue so we notified the SM staff and they added us to the roster for the ride back easily. When we got to the venue (an hour and a half-ish before doors) they escorted us to the front and we were let in immediately. The efficiency was incredible. They didn’t check my bag prior to entering like how they would for a concert in the US so I didn’t bring a water bottle into the venue but thankfully they had vending machines inside and concessions on the top levels of the venue. We also went to a booth upstairs to pair our lightsticks for the show, since the Japanese Shinee Lightstick app is only available for Japanese phones, so we showed our ticket locations and they were able to calibrate. The show was short yet sweet, we did not see anyone ejected for taking photos/videos but we were too scared to risk it. If you are caught filming or taking photos they will make you delete the photos/videos and kick you out with no sign of return, but I think because it was the last day and we were in the middle of a crowd, it was a little easier to get away with. There was a sadness in the air because it was Taemin’s last concert as a soloist under SM, but overall the show was incredible. One thing of note though is Japanese audiences are very quiet, they tend to clap rather than scream in between songs and there were times where you could hear someone from the rafters sneeze and it would resonate, so be prepared for that cultural difference. We still screamed when it felt appropriate to do so and the fanchants were loud but it was definitely strange to be golf clapping in between songs, especially in comparison to shows in the US where fans are barking 💀. It was nice to be able to hear Taemin speak uninterrupted during the ments, without pick-me fans interjecting their screams. He spoke exclusively in Japanese and there was no translator so we were left to guess what he was saying. A K-fan next to us was live Papago-ing his ments to Korean and I would peek and read what the translation was. Also shout out to this lovely K-shawol because she let my friend borrow one of her lightsticks! Once the show ended, everyone queued up to leave the venue in an orderly fashion and we cleaned up any trash we saw and we went out to the MD booth to buy any last minute MDs before going to the bus. On the bus, they gave us each a (unthemed) bag with some strawberry cookies and a waterbottle and we had a fun time air-dropping photos and videos from the show with other (braver) global package attendees. Everyone we met was so lovely and everything about the global package went very smoothly and efficiently.
edit: I forgot to mention that Japanese fans who had floor seats (most likely ACE club membership) received some sort of paper goods (postcard, photocard, folder etc.) upon entering the venue, a benefit that global package members did not receive. I only saw it because I went upstairs to the main entrance to sync my lightstick. I was too afraid to ask about the benefits, but I think it also might have had to do with which company you bought your ticket from (?) or where you preordered the album from (?)
closing thoughts:
the day after the show, we took advantage of the free breakfast and checked out with ease. The SM C&C staff left the whiteboard in the lobby and left a nice note for us and we wrote our thank yous on there. Overall, the package cost was $1559 for 2 people ($779 ea, 2 twin beds for 2N3D) and even though it was pricey it was so worth the convenience of not having to try to buy tickets locally, which I heard sold out entirely during fan club presale. Please note that this cost did not include airfare or transit to/from the airport. The concert coincided with my spring break and Taemin is one of my ults, I just wrote a paper on him for grad school so it was a no brainer, I had to be there no matter what lol. I was a bit disappointed in the lack of theming (I heard the concerts in Korea come with themed rooms, themed snacks, etc) and the lack of transportation to and from the airport (which I heard is sometimes an option for shows in Korea and would have been a great benefit). But otherwise the hotel was clean and convenient (a little small, but that’s how it is normally in an economy hotel in Japan), breakfast was good, SM staff were helpful and nice, and we made some new Shawol friends in the meantime :)
overall, I would absolutely book with global package again, but I would definitely want to see a show in Korea to compare the benefits. It was an unforgettable experience to be apart of the pearl aqua ocean 💎
if you have any questions ask away! prior to booking this package, I took the advice of another fan under a different thread, and it was really helpful so I wanted to offer any insight based off my experience.

A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!

1
It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
Davis was the only senior on the bus. Somehow, everyone else had a car or a ride. It’s all right, though. James would probably give him one if he had a car, but he skated to school every morning. That's why he barely ever rode the bus with him. The bus thumped along the under paved roads. Davis forgot his earbuds at home, so the only music that accompanied him was his racing thoughts. Two sophomore girls popped their heads over. “Ohmigod, Davis!” One of them shrieked.. “As I live and breathe,” he smiled. “Nice,” she said. “I’m so excited to see your finished painting.” Davis took the lower level art class for a requirement. Like most things, he's not taking it very seriously. For their pop art unit, he's painting a portrait of the art teacher with a warthog face. It's one of his funny disruptions. He knows Mrs. Stanley is going to have a real field day with it, but it doesn't matter. Artistic liberties, he’d profess. “She's such a bitch, isn't she?” The sophomore girl turns to her compatriot, who only nods in response. “She's just jealous,” Davis says. “It must be depressing to teach art and see the youth soar above her.” “For sure,” the girl doesn't get it. Class clown is a semi-heavy burden. Davis doesn't really feel like talking to these girls, but his position demands it. Comedy informs everything about him. To the giant thrift store jeans, to the loud Hawaiian shirt. He and James are the ultimate combination, at least he likes to think so. Quiet brooding begs for bright distraction. The girl is still trying to talk to him and Davis is saying his preprogrammed lines. The bus stops in front of James’s street. Surprisingly, James is standing there. “Like I’m this close to just filling my hydroflask with vodka, yaknow?” says the chick. Maybe she's just trying to get a rise out of him. “Better be prepared to give me more than a sip,” Davis is watching James grumble towards the bus. The sun is beating down on the forming ice puddles. James stomps through them with small shattering steps. James turns up the bus aisle and plops in the seat next to Davis. Davis’s smile is genuine now, but he fights it from getting too wide. “Crash your vehicle?” Davis asks. “Something like it,” there's something off with him. Davis doesn't want to push it. “Well damn, hope insurance covers it,” Davis wants James to break and laugh. Is it just another mood or did something actually happen this time? “It won't, I got bad credit,” James grins and it's like heaven. “What's the move for you today?” “Surviving art and physics for me,” says Davis. “Those bastards love to keep me down.” “Who doesn't,” James eyes the girls who have since returned to whatever they were doing before. It's the judgement stare, as Davis calls it. James likes to observe his peers like a zoo-goer. Breaking them down to taxonomic types. Davis likes to think that James doesn't do this to him, but he knows he probably does. “It sucks you decided to be bad at school and take baby art,” James is still dissecting the sophomore girls down to their tropes. “We could have done Art II together.” “I wouldn't want to get between you and Alex. I know how you love it when people piss in jars next to you.” “That's disgusting,” James breaks his glare at the girls. “It's performance art, it's beautiful,” Davis gets up out of his seat to yell. “Everyone witness the wonderful work of Alex Madov! Disengage yourself from the shackles of capitalism by shouting with me: Poopy, pee pee, poop!” Davis gets a few chuckles from the other kids on the bus. “Sit down, fatso,” mumbles the bus driver. “I will not be silenced! I’m a messenger of the good word, sir!” “More of this shit and I’m skipping your stop!” “Fine, but I will make Alex remember on the day of judgement,” Davis sits back down. James is full belly laughing. “You're so retarded,” James wheezes. Davis can't even come back with a response. He's high off of it.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I pass the bong to Ashley. She starts another bowl. She’s the transport and I provide the material. The little things that keep our friendship afloat. I look at the clock in her car. “It's 8:45,” I pick a piece of bagel out of my teeth. “So that's it, we officially missed first period,” Ashley tops it off. “They won't mark us, you know. It's a study.” “Yeah, but when's the last time we signed in? I heard they're changing the policy again. Do you still have the lighter?” I toss it to her. I don't get it. It's always her idea to pick me up so we can smoke before school, why now is she suddenly caring about attendance? “We're pretty girls, we can get out of it. I’m next,” I tap on the clock. “Are you sure it's not fast?” She shakes her head as she takes a snap. We're parked in the pond area a block or two from the school. It's our designated smoking spot. I like it, even at the end of fall it's pretty. I’m so engrossed that I don't realize her tip out the bowl and put it back in the cup holder. “I don't know if it's wise to keep up the activity, we should probably get going soon,” she starts up her car again. “Okay,” I say. She reverses and swings out of the lot. We lean into the silence and it's super weird. “Seth texted me last night,” I wait for her reaction. “Oh,” she grimaces. “What did you say?” “That I loved him.” Silence again. Ashley's trying to put together something well-meaning while understanding that I’ll probably ignore whatever she has to say. “Abbi, I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life, but …” Her expression is now quizzical. She's said what she is about to say a number of different ways all ready. She thinks and thinks and decides to say nothing. Good call, I would have screamed at her. Not because what she thinks about my situation isn't true, I’m just in a ‘screaming at people mood’ because of it. “I’m going to dye my hair again,” she changes the subject to avoid conflict. Classic Ash. “Oh yeah? What color this time?” “I don't know,” she checks her reflection in the rear view. “The red has faded out, maybe blue or pink this time.” “You should go with a softer pink,” I say. “Since you're a soft spring.” “Yeah, maybe.” We enter the school lot. “Listen, do you want to get together when I do it? Maybe you can dye your hair too.” “I don't know, I might be busy,” I say. “Seth might want to do something,” I pause for her to protest. “Okay,” she says. She parks and we get out.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.

College Breakup
My boyfriend (‘19M’) broke up with me (‘19F’) three days after returning home from living together at a dorm for a year. We spent fall semester and spring semester together in a dorm and then after three days of returning home, he breaks up with me, I’m heartbroken and I want him back but doesn’t want me. He broke up with me in person. But it was rushed. We have been together for two years high school sweethearts. After he left, he had sent me this text message
None of it was fake Mia. Everything I did, I did it with the best intentions. You’re were everything to me despite my confusion. I just don’t think we’re right for each other. I don’t want you to change. I don’t want you to think it’s you. I know that it seems that I led you on, and maybe I did but I don’t see it that way. I knew I cared for you, I knew you were one of my best friends but I was just confused. I don’t know what it is but I just don’t feel the type of love I should be feeling. It’s just not fair that you feel what you should be feeling in the relationship and I’m not. It’s been eating me up inside Mia. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be doubting my own feelings because I know that isn’t love. I shouldn’t be doubting. I shouldn’t be unsure if you’re the right one for me. That isn’t the love this relationship needs. I’m sorry
And return I sent this text message back to him at 2 AM 😭😭😭
I don’t know how to start this text because the more I replay our conversation you started it off with I think we should break up. Meaning I had a chance to voice why we shouldn’t and why I should stay with you and cherish you and love you and listen to you, but I didn’t. I started to cry and choke up on my words, all I could say was don’t do this. I can’t deny that it has been a hard semester for us. I have been dealing with depression that comes and goes, causing me to be unproductive, and I understand how that can be seen as unattractive and confusing to you because I don’t wake up in time to go see your games, but will tell you heart That I love you and I want to be there for you. I get why you’re confused and it’s my fault. We hurried into relationship out of lust because we love to have sex with each other. It’s weird to think that we started the relationship not really talking to each other because we were moaning in one ear too much to care about what we thought. And when we would talk, we would forget you mean so much to me Samuel and I’m so sorry I didn’t have the correct morals to show that to you when I first met you, let me take accountability how I started our relationship but also let me that we are a team. I want to make decisions with you. I want to continue learning with you. I want to be sober. I don’t want to forget any detail about you. I understand the importance of communication hence why I’m sending you this Bible ass text message. I’m ready to have those tough conversations with you. Rebuilding trust won’t be easy because of let you down countless times, but please don’t let me end the conversation with we are just breaking up. We aren’t two different people we are sarcastic, stubborn, caring, charismatic, driven/lazy motivated people. Truthfully, when you said, we are two different people I don’t think that’s the worst thing it takes someone out of your comfort zone to grow and further develop into the person you want to become, I love you Samuel . I know you say people can’t change but I’m living proof because I feel more logical after meeting you. Lol I’m stronger emotionally unless I’m on my period. I’m a little bitch. Please don’t close yourself off to the idea of change. If you fell out of love with me, still consider me one of your best friends. You still have a platonic love for me remember one argument we had and I ended it with maybe we should go back to the basics and you said well I already know the basics about you, maybe we were looking at a relationship wrong. Every day we should have questions and curiosities left unanswered the day before that we questioned to each other. I just don’t wanna lose you somewhat. I’m willing to change my approach at a relationship to save this one now though I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with how we love each other, we just need more structured foundation that satisfies both of our love languages and doesn’t leave us feeling lonely and like we aren’t going through this together. I wanna fold clothes for you. I wanna make you feel good. I want to be your wife, but I also don’t want to force you to love me hence why am giving you a week to think about things. If you do want to talk by the end of the week, so maybe rekindle our relationship I don’t think we should go back directly to us having sex so often also setting clear intentions for each other even though that’s kind of gay but we both are hurting because of this break up and need to accept that we both need boundaries to be able to be individuals but also also a team team.
I’m heartbroken and just want to get back together with him. I feel manipulated because we had sex almost every day up into leaving college. I feel kind of used and let on if he tells me he’s not romantically in love with me, but he’s still considers me one of his best friends. It means he still must have some type of , love for me.
I haven’t texted him since the break up and don’t intend to text him for a week. Can I get advice for anyone going through a similar situation?
Should I even want to get back with him?
He never even responded to my text so I don’t even know if you want to meet up in a week to discuss anything

Really, I just need to get this out somewhere. I’d never had TikTok until March and I guess I never really believed all the talk about how addicting it is over most other social media sites. I work at a college and was bored over spring break so I downloaded it.
And yall? It was addicting and suddenly had me so insecure about every aspect of myself and my life. I bought new clothes, I started to want to lose weight (not a bad thing for my health but it was due to seeing video after video of people talking about how unhappy they were being fat and how everyone should lose weight basically). At its worse, it had me feeling unhappy with my husband who is truly the best husband out there. Suddenly I didn’t want to spend time with my son. I didn’t want to watch tv or movies or do anything other than scroll on TikTok.
I’m finally deleting it and also talking to my doctor about adjusting my depression meds but wowza. What a life lesson.

Hi red flag readers or viewers, so back then i think dated malaysian guy (i’m indonesian btw) like for 7 months i guess. So back than we were on the same company for part time work but i didn’t knew him because we’re in different shifts but one of my roommate was on the same shifts as him. So after we finished our part time work on summer my friend introduced him to me she said he wants to know me so i said okay. This is my first time dating with different nationality btw ( i studied in taiwan). After know each other after we going on date for quite many times, and here’s it’s begin, There’s one time he was lying to me and I knew it from my friend, he lied about smoking he tells me he didn’t smoke but behind my back he was smoking 🙂 when i know that i was angry and going straight ask him that is it true that he smoke at first he was still lying but after that he said the truth he said because he know i didn’t like man who smoked, so i forgive him also( I MEAN CAN YOU AT LEAST TELL THE TRUTH BRO ) every things goes well until spring-break, since I can’t go back to my home country because of the covid-19 we decided to go to do part time work but in different company and here comes the red flags 🚩 on Chinese new year we have 1 week holidays so at first day I decided to spend it with my colleague friends and the second day i decided to go with him because his boss invited us to join their dinner. At first I didn’t want to go because i was quite shy but he keep asking me to go with him, so i decided to go. Also he told me that we’re will going back to our city together after the dinner and playing some fireworks. At the end 🙂 i’m going back to the city we work together ALONE at 11 p.m by train, and because it’s the second day of Chinese new year a lot of place closes early and i arrive at the train station about 11.30 p.m and still need to wait for my uber to pick me up for going to the dorm. I was so angry why he promised something to me but can’t fulfill it. He explained it “I didn’t bring my bag so I can’t go back with you i left my bag at school dorm” 🙂🙂 (btw he just sent me until the train station in the city where we had dinner with his boss). I think about April we break up not in good terms i guess we had a big fight ( i have some family matters too when we have a fight but I didn’t tell him cause I didn’t want him to be involved in my family matters and yet we’re still on that stage too i think) then I heard from my friend that goes to the same school as him that he cried because our brake up and tell his friend that i’m the bad person, after hearing that my friend stood up for me telling on of his friend girlfriend what he did to me on Chinese new year leaving me alone at midnight. Also few days after our break up I heard he already have a new girlfriend. And here I’m now happy with my own life 😮‍💨😮‍💨 Thankyou

Possible spoilers up ahead so read with caution!! Also would love to hear others opinions in the comments!
One of the worst things about engaging in this fandom no matter the platform is people seem to really misunderstand what the show is about. It is called Ginny AND Georgia not Ginny VS Georgia after all. The show is about their relationship and how even though yes they are both flawed, and one a literal murderer, they are both sympathetic in their own ways because it's all down to what they've been through.
Like ofc Georgia who lived her whole childhood being abused in every way by her parents would not really understand why Ginny needed emotional stability too. Her best parental figure as a kid was that woman from the Blood Eyes gang who saved her through the use of violence, so it's not shock she instilled those values into her kids too (doesn't make it right like she definitely needed a lot of therapy before actually being a mother but she never got that opportunity). This is also why the season 2 scene of her going to therapy with Ginny was so important (even if it was super invasive) because it's her starting to realise that she hasn't really been a good mother and that loving Ginny wasn't enough to protect her from other types of harm. It's like the first step in her trying to be a better person and get help. This is also why she killed Tom, Cynthia had done something great for her by helping her get rid of Gil (to an extent) and seeing her so broken up about Tom gave Georgia a way to show her kindness back in the only way she knows how. She was literally crying whilst doing it, she wasn't doing it because she's a sociopath or whatever people say, it's just all she knows. It's really sad when you think about it and I hope she gets a lot of help and gets to be happy in the end.
Now as for Ginny, I get that since we've seen first hand how much Georgia struggled (the abuse, not having food, the husbands ect), it's so easy to think she's being ungrateful given what Georgia went through trying to keep her safe and she was doing her best, but unfortunately the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And part of what Georgia did is find ways to disguise all the ugly parts (the dance parties to cover up Gil at the door, the pretty face paint to cover up her bruises, creating fry-yay since she had to miss the actual holiday) which definitely saved Ginny to an extent she just didn't know she had to do more because as a kid she didn't even have physical safety nevermind emotional safety which is why she never really realised how her other behaviours hurt her so much (like moving away and not ever giving her the chance to have friends). And this explains a lot of Ginny's annoying behaviour - which luckily she is getting help for - like cheating on Hunter and just being a bad friend in general she's never had actual meaningful relationships outside of her family before so of course she's not going to be the beat at maintaining them. And obviously she won't ever think about the actual consequences of things because Georgia moved her around so much she never really had to live with them before. And as for the poem, yes it was definitely harsh to us knowing why Georgia acts the way she does, but she's a child who has been through a lot too. Neither of them really know how to express their feelings in a healthy way (just as most teenagers don't god knows how many times me and my friends argued over the stupidest stuff but now we are all older and most of us have had therapy we are so much better off), but that doesn't meant Ginny was trying to hurt her. She has had so many feelings in her for so long and she was trying to get them out and have Georgia understand but she just took it the wrong way.
It's genuinely heart breaking watching 2 people who clearly love each other so much just completely misunderstand each other to the extent they continuously hurt each other.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not trying to say you can't dislike them, I mean it's all about personal preference, but we need to stop acting like to like one you have to hate the other because they aren't enemies. Can we please stop pitting them against each other?? Lets all be team Ginny AND Georgia <3
Anyway would love to hear if anyone has any other thoughts to add to my rant!!
TL;DR Both Georgia and Ginny have had bad childhoods in different ways which cause them to act terribly sometimes. A lot of Ginny's problems were caused because Georgia was never really given the chance to learn how to be a good mom, and Ginny in trying to express this often hurts her back. However this is part of the show, it doesn't mean we have to hate one to like the other. The beauty of it is how 2 flawed people can love each other so much but if they don't know how to comnunicate well, they will always hurt each other. I'm team Ginny AND Georgia.

I need to preface this by saying that my mom is by far the worse parent between her and my dad. She became a stay-at-home mom when she had my brother, and by her own admission, she decided not to do anything with friends, maintain friendships, or create friendships for as long as my siblings and I were home (I'm the youngest). Around 2016, my mom just became so much worse than she'd ever been. I have happy memories of her from my childhood, but my high school years do not see her fondly. It was then that I realized she was emotionally abusive, and when I reached college, I started attending a non-SBC Baptist church and she told me to go to hell. For over a year, she constantly harped on me that I had lost my way and spit in God's face and then she made everything about her and that I hated her (true) and that I was spitting in her and my dad's face because I wanted to spend spring break with friends or stay in my college city that I loved for the summer.
One of the reasons I'm trying so hard to graduate early is so I have less time of being financially dependent on my parents. Right now, they're funding my education and living situation, and that is good. I appreciate that. However, they lord that over my head at all times. I started dating when I started grad school, and I posted a cute picture of my partner and me kissing, and my mom told me that I shouldn't go on a weekend trip with him anymore because "you know how men are, he'll want to sleep with you" and then told me that she saw that picture and was unable to sleep all night. She picks fights with me and got mad when I wanted to go with my partner to a museum that my family wouldn't appreciate bc it was "unsafe" to uber with another person in broad daylight. After a vacation, I was with my partner and his family, and my mom got mad at me for not driving home in rush hour when I had told her that I knew for a fact the route was actually safer at night. Then she told me that me and my partner didn't need to be joined at the hip and started criticizing him. She senses that she's losing control and I'm sick of her taking it out on me. It's not my fault that she didn't make a life for herself outside of her children.
She and my sister are big proponents of "family is the most important thing" but will refuse to acknowledge that family can be built. If I did the whole "the actual phrase is 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'" my whole family would get really pissed. I care more about my close friends from undergrad and my partner. I like my siblings okay, and I would be a lot more receptive to a relationship with my dad if he were divorced from my mom.
Yesterday, I created a finsta because I like posting but I need there to be no pressure on receiving likes. My mom requested to follow it and at first, I allowed it, but it immediately made the finsta less fun, so I told her that parents are not supposed to follow finstas and even siblings don't always (my partner has three sisters, two of whom have a finsta — there's only one other sibling per finsta there). My mom got mad at this explanation, saying that instagram wasn't real, and then was mad again that I was like "then what does it matter?"
I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but interactions with my mom are the only things that can immediately deflate me. My partner sees how I react whenever I get a text from her, and my entire demeanor changes. I have panic attacks sometimes when she texts me. I've muted her contact before. She acts like I'm dumb, and she doesn't respect my degree because I'm liberal (and not a conservative expert). I wanted something for myself where she couldn't touch it, and then she was pissed that she couldn't. And it's frustrating because I'm still on their insurance (which is good and I like it, admittedly) because I'm still at that age, and since my parents are traditional, they would pay for my wedding with my partner, and I would also appreciate that. But I know even that will be an issue because my partner and I are deadset on a no kids wedding and only inviting close friends and family. If I could cut off my mom and still have an okay relationship with my dad, I'd do it. But the people who have loved me better than my family ever has are my friends, my undergrad mentors, and my partner. I don't like my mom, and I don't love her. She is an obligation that I cannot wait to be free from.

hello, our names are evie and maisie and a few years ago something happened that put us off leaving the house at night forever.
we had just got off school for the spring break and back then we used to smoke every so often and decided that weekend we’d start the holidays off by doing so. what would usually happen is we would usually sleep at maisie’s house (she lives in the outskirts of town so there’s many little places we could go to smoke) wait until her parents fell asleep and sneak out.
that weekend, after her parents had fallen asleep around midnight, we had just left the house and everything seemed normal. on the way to our usual spot, we would pass the red telephone box which no one ever seemed to use. it was old looking. the paint was chipped and the phone was surrounded with spider webs and was presumed to be broken.
we past it and everything was fine, we smoked as usual and started to take a slow walk back to maisie’s house. on the way back, we got to the telephone box and from outside we could hear it start to ring. it made us jump, and in the moment we found it funny because of how scared and high we were. but, we carried on walking.
as we started to get further away from it, maisie’s phone started to ring. our first thought was that it was her parents who had woken up and seen we were missing. she pulled the phone out of her pocket. but it was an unrecognisable number. we wanted to answer just in case it was her parents and it was probably best to answer then make them worry. however, we answered the phone to a piercingly loud static sound coming from the other end. We hung up the phone almost instantly as we just thought it was a spam caller or something
then, my phone rang. I answered it to the same static noise that had rang maisie’s phone before. i have no idea why we did this to this day as it truly makes no sense but our first thought was the telephone box. maybe it was how high we were or the fact we had heard it ring before or maybe even just how immature we were at 14, we decided to go back to it.
we started walking back to the box slightly more weary of our surroundings. as we got closer we noticed a man standing inside of it, and as the town was quite small we knew everyone but that man unrecognisable. he had the phone to his ear and he was facing away from us typing a number into the keypad, it was my number. my phone started to blast out my usual loud ringtone and i scrambled to quickly turn it off but it was to late. he already heard. the man quickly spun round and held eye contact with us for what felt like an eternity.
his face was inhuman, his eyes where scarily wide with large rings surrounding them. he was tall, almost as tall as the box itself, which was around 6’5. when he looked at us his mouth curved up into a huge grin. he stepped out of the box and started sprinting towards us at a speed i can’t explain. we looked at eachother and then ran for our lives. we didn’t turn back.
we eventually got back to maisie’s and locked both of the doors and ran upstairs into her parents ( forgetting that we where even high ) and explained everything, of course missing the fact we had smoked. after we had explained they looked out the window without saying anything and stared at us like we where crazy. maisie’s mum said ‘your high, aren’t you?’ we both panicked and denied it unaware of the smell we must have brought in. i think the fact we where high made her parents not believe us because they just brushed it off like it was nothing and told us to get out and go to sleep. we decided to leave it there and go to sleep getting ready face the consequences of being caught.
the next morning we woke up and i checked my phone to see a text from my mum explaining how dissapointed she was and about 50 missed calls from the same number. i showed maisie the number and her face dropped, she had gotten the same amount from the same number to. it was the number we where called on last night. the telephone box. we never walked past the telephone box again.
sitting here a few years from then we still don’t know if what we saw was real. has anyone else seen anything like this whilst high so we can finally get closure on the experience?