Hello everyone,
I need some advice on whether to contact the Dean about my academic situation and whether further action is warranted.
At my institution, our program requires an average of 76.5% across four exams. I passed the first three with 78%, 80%, and 86%, respectively. However, I scored poorly on the final exam, resulting in an overall grade of 75.11%, causing me to fail the course. According to our college policy, only exam scores count towards the final grade.
While I accept this policy, I'm facing issues with reviewing my final exam. Our school's policy limits exam reviews to discussing "general themes" and avoids specific questions or detailed grading to protect the integrity of the exams. This lack of detailed feedback, especially given my near-passing grade, makes me question the fairness of the grading.
Here is more detail on their policy:

1. Review Format and Content: During the review, instructors may discuss general themes or areas where many students struggled, but specific exam questions are not discussed in detail to maintain exam integrity.

To me, this seems highly unfair, especially considering how close I am to passing the course. Not allowing me to see how any of my exams were graded, and if they were graded fairly makes me highly suspicious of the outcome. And yes, I do mean I have not been allowed to even look at the graded exam. The professor will not even tell me what exactly I got wrong. How can I know if this was graded appropriately? Am I supposed to just trust them, and hope for the best? Especially in a scenario like this where I am so close to passing? I feel like this goes against some law, so I asked chat GPT about FERPA this is the response I got:

As of my last update, there is no specific state or federal law that makes it illegal to prevent students from reviewing specific questions and answers of an exam in an educational setting. Educational institutions generally have the discretion to create and enforce their own policies regarding exam reviews, as long as they comply with broader educational standards and regulations such as the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA).
FERPA primarily ensures the privacy of student education records, but it does not mandate that institutions must allow detailed exam reviews. However, it does give students the right to access their educational records, which can include exam papers, under certain conditions and formats determined by the institution.
Colleges and universities often set their own policies regarding the review of graded exams to protect the integrity of the exam content and to prevent the potential compromise of future exam administrations. These policies can include restrictions on the detail of reviews or the environment in which they are conducted (e.g., supervised settings). Institutions are expected to communicate these policies clearly to students.

Another issue is that the program I am part of decided to put two very difficult final exams on one day. Fine, I said. I would study and handle that and it didn't go well for me.
During the final exam meeting I requested with the professor I brought up the fact that having 2 exams on one day most likely effected my performance and they told me: "That I verbally said that some students can move their exam date. However there was limited slots." This shocked me. I record my classes, and I have a 95% attendance rating and I never recalled hearing that. Its possible they mentioned it when I was at the bathroom, or if I was late to class one day, but I do not recall that ever happening.
My issue with this is that, why are some students allowed to take the final on a separate day, but not others? How could there be limited slots? That to me feels like preferential treatment, since this could potentially allow some students in class an extra day of study. That extra day of studying is pass or fail to me now. Also, who makes the final decision on who can take what exam on what day now?
After I mentioned I never heard of this "move exam date" treatment, they said something of the like: "I am not building a wall between us."
What do you mean? I have emails that I sent to the professor asking for help about exam preparation that they never responded to. It happened on multiple occasions when I required help I was ignored, and now I learned that some students were given an extra day to study and the professor will not budge on letting me review my exam.
I admit, I had a bad exam day. But to have 1 test determine my pass or fail of an entire course after putting in hours (and I do mean HOURS, as in ~4 hours a day), of study and work feels wrong. Especially given how close to passing I am.
Overall, they wont let me review my final exam or any exam AT ALL after the fact. Won't let me find a way to pass even though I am 1.4% away. Apparently, gave other students possibly an extra day to study, without notifying all students via Canvas or Email that moving the exam day was an option. Which also feels unfair to all the students that had to take the 2 exams in one day.
Should I contact the Dean and my Professor's boss about this? I feel like I have been treated pretty unfairly. Or am I just overreacting?
Should I just retake the class? Keep in mind, I am only allowed a limited amount of failures here. I know in my heart I am ready for the next class, and this one bad exam shouldn't make or break a whole course for me.
I also don't want to be a problem student, but being so close to passing really bothers me.

My husband has just received his IR1 appointment to go to Juarez Mexico next month. We have heard a lot of stories of how people don't have the right paperwork during the interview and end up getting stuck there for months. So since my husband also has daca our lawyers has advised us that advanced parole would be the best option for him to get re-entry into the US legally. We have had it approved before but it was right before covid hit and when the approval came in the boarders had shut down due to covid and we were no longer able to do that. We are applying to advanced parol again but would like to know if advance parol is the better plan to take. We have been married for 9 years and this prosses has been so long and stressful.

Please, I just need advice. My home is by no means a bad place at all, but I just can’t remain living here. I have absolutely no where else to go because I still rely on my mom to take me everywhere, including my place of work. I’m trying to get a bike but things just keep popping up. I 100% need to buy from a reliable brand, such as Fuji, because I have to bike to college everyday starting August, which is nearly an hour away. My mom wants me to buy clothes for a trip to Europe I payed off during my senior year, and that would be nice, but I just can’t afford much anymore. But onto the context behind the advice I need: When I was 14, I wanted a kitten more than anything. I was really isolated then and did everything possible to get one, even things I’m not proud of. Eventually I did end up going to the shelter to get a kitten, but there weren’t any available and I ended up taking a puppy home. I loved this puppy. He still is my baby. He was 2 months old when I got him. At the time, my dad was living with my family and he was extremely abusive. My dog would never leave my side because I was so scared something would happen to him, so scared he would nip my dad and cause my father would lose it, but there wasn’t anything I could do. My fears came true when puppy started pissing everytime he saw my dad. When he was around 3 1/2 months old, my parents got divorced. My father couldn’t handle it and forced my siblings and I to go with him to Alabama in his small truck. I was devastated when I couldn’t bring my puppy. My mom promised to take care of him. She promised. After about a month in, my dad decided to make a trip to Ohio without anyone knowing to see my mom, but I caught him leaving at 7:00 a.m. and that’s how I ended up going back with him. A little background info, we had three other animals (2 other dogs, and a cat). As we were arriving, I saw that none of our lights were on, which was already a red flag as the kitchen light above the sink was ALWAYS on. I already had a sinking feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. All of the doors were locked and my mom’s car wasn’t in the driveway. I stood on my dad’s shoulders as I used a shovel to pry a low window open, climb in, and unlock the front door for my dad. I focused on unlocking the door and didn’t bother turning on the lights, but our Great Dane (the oldest of the three dogs) met me in her excitement. When he got in, we turned on the lights and it was horrible. 2 emaciated puppies in a cage filled with shit, crying to be let out. Shit all over the bottom floor of our house. I let the puppies out and ran upstairs to find that out cat didn’t have any food or water, mind you she was 8 at the time. We actually just ended up putting her down at 12 around 2 weeks ago. Well, all of this was just the beginning. It left my dog with severe food aggression. The first experience I handled was when I accidentally dropped a piece of chicken at the top of the stairs and when I was reaching to get it from me dog, he went ballistic and attacked my hand. I’d cry over that for a long time, but I wouldn’t give up on him. He ran away constantly. Bit. And did a lot more that would make him a “bad dog,” but he wasn’t ever a bad dog. He really wasn’t. That same night I found our animals, I had no choice but to go back to Alabama. My dad didn’t care. I begged to stay, but at the end of the day, my siblings were still in another state alone. I called my mom, who didn’t know we were in Ohio, crying, asking why she’s been lying to me about being home. She’d sent pictures to prove she was there, but I knew she wasnt. We all came back that next day after being kicked out of our aunt’s place. Fast forward a few weeks, we move in a trailer park around an hour and 1/2 away from my original home. We obviously brought my puppy, but we also brought my mom’s Great Dane. My mom was gone before I left school to work. I was alone with both of these dogs everyday and it was hard. Hard to walk either dog, both of which weren’t trained. My puppy was my priority. I could get into a lot more, but fast forward a few years, and I’m 18 now. My dog is doing great. My mom selfishly got a husky puppy 3 days after we put our cat down, and it’s making it hard on my dog. Her new husky bites him relentlessly and won’t get out of my dog’s face. The Great Dane hasn’t been here for a few years now, because my dad ended up moving in with us briefly and let her outside to go potty without a leash attached and she ended up biting a dog. She was sent to live on an actual farm, and she’s thriving. But that means my dogs been alone for years as the only dog. Aside from being great, his biggest issue is recourse guarding. There has been a single “fight” but it was quickly split up and hasn’t happened again (mainly because I keep the dogs separated, which pisses off my mom). As I was saying earlier, I can’t handle living here anymore. The fighting is constant and I just don’t think I can forgive her for anything. My uncle who is now living with us is truly a piece of shit. I don’t want to see my dog go back down the whole. For the first few years of his life, my mom wouldn’t help with anything. She told me I couldn’t go anywhere, that it wasn’t her job to watch him. Ever. My sister willing watches him all the time, but my mom will still get onto me about it not being her job. Recently, though my father is shitty, I went to stay with him because he was offering to give me $100 for my grad. Ceremony (and I needed the money). I told my mom that my dog couldn’t go, because I promised myself I’d never put my dog in danger again. I love him more than anything, but I don’t know how long I can do this. All of this. I refuse to get rid of him, part not being able to and part being selfish. I don’t know what I’ll do when college starts and I can’t afford a bike, meaning I can’t go full time to eventually get my own place. My only dream was to live with my dog, in a place of our own that we could call home, but that dream is getting more distant by the day. I don’t want to cry anymore. I don’t want years of this hopelessness. I want to get myself out of this bad situation. But I don’t have anyone.

i’m really struggling. i myself have a long list of medical issues, mental and autoimmune mainly, and recently my 73 year old grandmother fell and fractured her right elbow and her left knee i’ve been the sole person taking her to appointments helping her with daily tasks and taking care of her 21 year old cat who is losing control of her bowels and her hyper dog and cleaning her house. on a normal day before all of this i would work a 4 hour shift and not be able to walk when getting home because my medical issues are not well managed i now don’t have the luxury of just not being able to i have to there is someone depending on me i feel so overwhelmed my house is disgusting i don’t have clean clothes for work tomorrow and it’s stressed me out to the point of i feel rage and i feel guilty bc my grandma didn’t ask for broken bones and i keep it together around her because i don’t want her to feel guilty that im having to care for her after all she’s done for me. i can’t seem to stop randomly uncontrollably crying and i can feel a flare up coming as stress is the #1 cause of flares with autoimmune issues. is there a program at tjx for part timers to take a short paid LOA? i know it’s a long shot being part time but im struggling and i need help and dont know where to turn like im genuinely scaring myself with how enraged i become over the smallest of things and i know it’s misdirected anger :/

-When the Imperium first encountered the T'au they were little more than primitive herders and hunters.
-The primitive T'au diverged into subspecies such as the stout hills folk who excelled at farming and mining and the aggressive plain dwellers who warred with each other over hunting grounds.
-The T'au established their first off-world colony on the largest moon of their homeworld
-The T'au's diplomatic process of assimilating an alien race can take generations. It steadily progresses through trade deals, cultural exchanges, and defense treaties. By the time an alien race fully embraces the Greater Good, they might believe it was their idea to do so.
-When diplomacy fails, the T'au resort to warfare. The Fire Caste is deployed and they aim for swift victory with little collateral damage. These invasions are seldom portrayed by the T'au as wars of conquest. Instead, the T'au frame them as the Empire protecting its planetside interests and allies, bringing stability to a troubled world, or preemptively securing its borders.
-Ultimately, the T'au consider war a lesser evil when compared to letting alien civilizations wallow in ignorance. As the T'au see it, these alien civilizations must join the Empire for their own good.
-The T'au are generous in victory. Even the populations that resisted them are met with programs of rebuilding, extensive reeducation, and thorough analysis of their strengths and traits to determine the best ways they could serve the Greater Good.
-Some of the assimilated population will remain on their homeworld to work for the Greater Good. Others will be shipped off elsewhere to further their integration, to better use their talents and skills, or to lower the chance of insurrection.
-When the T'au claimed the Imperial hiveworld of Agrellan, the T'au relocated portions of the population to other sept worlds to ease the overcrowded conditions of the hive cities. This saved their lives for when the Imperium returned to Agrellan they subjected the world to extermintus rather than allow humans to live under the rule of Xenos.
-Unlike the Imperials, the T'au believe that aliens have a right to exist. Not only that they believe that alien races are superior to themselves in some aspects. As the T'au Castes each excel in their fields, each alien species can use its superior talents to benefit the T'au Empire.
-T'au governments are made up of councils. Even Aun'Va, the Ethereal Supreme, is a member of the Ethereal Council albeit the foremost among them. He is advised by respected members from Castes.
-Non-T'au rarely achieve positions of true authority within the T'au Empire. However, they are valued as representatives, intermediaries, and advisors.
-Regional councils usually have a sixth seat for a non-T'au delegate. This position is called the Kindred Soul. The Kindred Soul offers outside experience and perspective to the council.
-Trusted aliens are given visible positions of administration and security for their own communities.
-In the multicultural T'au cities and ports, Rogue traders openly trade and do business. Ordos Xenos Inquisitors disguise themselves there as human merchants.
-Psychic powers in the T'au Empire are limited to their alien allies. The T'au refer to these abilities as Mind Science, Memetic vectors, and Subspace manipulation. The T'au value these powers and they use alien psykers in interrogations and security scans. One notable case of their usefulness for the Empire is when Shadowsun consulted psychic alien allies about the unnatural abilities of the Death Guard.
-The psychic race the Nicassar was the first species to join the T'au Empire. They have bear-like snouts and their flat limbs end with fearsome massive claws. Despite their incredible strength, the Nicassar are not a warlike people. They prefer to serve the T'au Empire by being star guides.
-Among the races that have yet to join the T'au Empire but nonetheless are considered valued partners and mercenaries are the Kin of the Leagues of Votann. The Kin have maintained a long-standing beneficial relationship with the T'au Empire. This lucrative relationship fueled the rise of the Seran-Tok Mercantile League who traded the initial technology of Ion weapons to the Sept of Dal'yth.
-Kin ships often sail alongside T'au fleets as allied vessels surely in exchange for considerable payments.
-When the T'au encountered the Kroot, the Kroot civilization was on the verge of collapse due to a massive Waaagh! invasion. A T'au expedition fleet was dragged into the conflict on the side of the Kroot. The T'au aided these strange brave aliens liberate their worlds from Ork aggression.
-Imperials once witnessed a Kroot arm wrestle an Ogryn. The Kroot won, and he severed the Ogryn's arm for his prize. The Kroot afterward consumed it and according to the Imperial observers he treated the arm as if it was a holy relic before doing so.
-Kroot avoid consuming Chaos-tainted or Tyranid flesh for fear of the taint spreading into their bodies. T'au flesh is also forbidden officially for diplomatic reasons. If there is another reason why the Kroot don't consume T'au flesh only the shapers know it.
-The Treaty of Pech does not officially condone the Kroot mercenary work for other races. However, it's likely that the T'au turn a blind eye to these activities recognising how it strengthens their allies and seeing the benefit of having Kroot agents in the wider galaxy that they cover up with plausible deniability.
-The Kroot are uniquely loyal to the T'au Empire with billions of them serving in its armies.
-One of the fastest-growing species in the T'au Empire is humanity
-The T'au endeavor to make the integration of their human citizens, or as they call them the "Gue'vesa, as smooth as possible. The Imperial Faith is allowed albeit with some alternations that explain away the anti-Xenos doctrine.
-The more dedicated Gue'vesa reject Imperial culture altogether choosing to take on T'au style names and ink their faces with blue tattoos.
-Imperial defectors are valued for their insights into the Imperial war machine and dogma allowing the T'au to prepare for future conflicts. They are also useful for providing insights about strange foes.
-The T'au rely on the Kroot to sniff out Tyranid infestations but the Kroot can't catch every trace. When it comes to the GSC the Imperial Guard and Navy defectors have far more experience in rooting out the gene-cultists.
-Many Gue'vesa have been born on Sept Worlds as natural citizens of the T'au Empire. These Empire-born humans join integrated security forces, fight alongside Fire Caste Cadres, or become agents for enlightenment cells on Imperial worlds.
-Gue'vesa are considered to be traitors and deviants of the worst kind by the Imperium. They are to be purged and destroyed wherever they are located.
-For many the T'au Empire is a beacon of fragile hope in a galaxy gone mad, offering shelter from xenocidal crusades and galactic anarchy. Yet for the Greater Good to function it requires many lesser evils. The Water Caste diplomacy can destabilise entire worlds and the peace offered by the Fire Caste comes from the barrel of a pulse carbine. Alien cultures are eroded and warped to serve the needs of the Empire and at every turn the truth is manipulated.
-The Fourth Sphere T'au are mentally scarred by what happened to their alien auxiliaries during their voyage. This led to an extreme prejudice that resulted in atrocities and tragedies in the Chalneth Expanse. Despite this, the T'au Empire cannot afford to remove them entirely from the frontlines.
-The fate of the Fourth Sphere's auxiliaries remains a guilty mystery for the T'au as well as how the Fourth Sphere escaped from the Warp. Some of them speak of being dragged into Real Space by a vast manifestation that appeared as a faceless being with many arms, the arms of many species, some T'au, Kroot, human, and others.
-As the T'au continue to study the collective psychic potential of mankind and its tendency to spawn irrational miracles, some wonder about the consequence of indoctrinating so many races into the Greater Good.
-The consequence is a deity born from a philosophy, a goddess of the Greater Good.
-Whatever obstacles lay ahead, alien auxiliaries are crucial to the success of the T'au Empire. As the light of T'au'Va shines on more and more worlds and entire populations embrace their common manifest destiny, the number of alien races willing to sacrifice everything for the Greater Good increases.

Background is: I am 27 F, living in USA , fiance is 33 F living in Philippines.
Recently, my fiance’s coworker was cheated on by her boyfriend who works in the same office. The coworker lives with her parents , and was ashamed to go home because she didn’t want them finding out. My fiance offered her coworker to spend the night at our apartment for this reason and because it seemed she was having a mental health crisis. My fiance really felt for her because my fiance has been cheated on in the past and had the experience of not knowing where to go.
My fiance texted me about this, but by the time I saw the message since I was in session, she already invited her.
The next day , my fiance comes home from work, and says she’s having a chat with some coworkers at the pool in our apartment. I said what happened to your coworker who stayed over? My fiance said she had stayed at our apartment the whole day after sleeping over while she was at work. At this point I felt like it had to say something because she hadn’t mentioned that at all.
Is it reasonable for me to want the heads up ? That she was gonna sleep over and stay while my fiance went to work ? Also, it reminded me of how a few weeks ago another coworker had an issue with her husband and my fiancé offered her to stay at our place as well but she didn’t take up the offer. And last year , right before I went to visit my fiance in ph, she told me she offered our apartment to a coworker who was between places. I ended up saying I wasn’t comfortable, she didn’t know how long she would need to stay. This instance was even worse because I had not yet met these coworkers/friends.
It seems like she makes an offer then tell me after. My request is we discuss first before the offer. Are my feelings fair ? My fiance feels she is only wanting to help her friends, and that I feel I can dictate who can come over because I am paying for the apartment.
She feels this especially because while I was visiting her in ph, I was working from home as a mental health counselor . It became a regular occurrence that she would come home from work with 1-2 of her coworkers but only tell me this when they were already on their way walking to our place- which is a 5 minute walk from their office . She thought this was unfair and inhospitable for me to ask if she can let me know sooner before they’re walking to our apartment that they’ll be coming. I felt that it’s hard for me to host right after finishing a session.
Hopefully this provides background on my fiancé’s perspective - that her heart is in the right place wanting to help friends in need, or spend time with them, but in the process I feel like she doesn’t loop me in or discounts my feelings
Now that I’ve spoken up on this issue she says she will never have anyone over again.
What should I do?

For the first time since his incarceration, Bankman-Fried described his daily life in a detailed interview with journalist William D. Cohan of Puck:

On a recent Tuesday, I went to the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn for an intimate chat with America’s most famous prisoner, Sam Bankman-Fried. During our 75-minute conversation, we discussed everything from Caroline Ellison and the travails of his new life, to his regrets about the demise of FTX and his forthcoming appeal.
I got the distinct impression that Sam still doesn’t believe he committed any crimes, only that he was the one responsible for putting FTX in a position where it was vulnerable to a bank run and the devious actions of its competitors

WILLIAM D. COHAN -- May 9, 2024
On Tuesday afternoon, I found myself in the most unusual circumstances—sitting on a small plastic chair at a cramped table in the Metropolitan Detention Center, the federal prison on 29th Street in Sunset Park, in Deep Brooklyn. Outside, it was a gorgeous day, the sort of picturesque and slightly humid one that inevitably reminds longtime New Yorkers of the weather on the morning of September 11th. Inside the prison’s visiting room, however, there was no natural light, no sunshine, only the Hitchcockian buzz of fluorescent bulbs and three vending machines standing in a corner. Posters on the wall attempted to compensate for the bleak atmosphere by buoyantly welcoming visiting families.
I first met Sam Bankman-Fried in December 2021, during the height of his power and influence, when he was the richest person in the world under 30. My friend Anthony Scaramucci, a.k.a. The Mooch, had connected us. On a cold winter night at the One Hotel, on Sixth Avenue, I interviewed him for a documentary I am part of making about Bitcoin and its developer, Satoshi Nakamato. Sam showed up an hour late, in a black t-shirt and cargo shorts, apparently having just flown in via private jet from the Bahamas. A month later, Sam’s cryptocurrency exchange, FTX, would raise its final $400 million round of financing from a group of highfalutin investors—led by Softbank, Temasek, and Paradigm—at a valuation of $32 billion, making the company one of the most valuable in the sector. At that moment, Sam was said to be worth $26 billion.
This week, we reconnected amid very different circumstances. Sam and I arranged for this visit through his Corrlinks email account, at the suggestion of his mother, Barbara Fried, and the family’s prison advisor. We met on Tuesday around 1 p.m. because that was the only day that visiting hours are permitted at MDC, a hangover from the Covid era. Prisoners can have visitors for one of two sessions, either starting at noon or at five in the afternoon.
We were meeting later than noon because of the staffing shortage at the facility. I was allowed to bring in $1 or $5 bills, up to a total of $30, in case I wanted to buy Sam some water, soda, or snacks from the humming vending machines. I was told to put my $20 bill as well as my wallet and iPhone into a locker. Sam was not permitted to buy anything himself.
Following about an hour of bureaucratic snafus (I went to the wrong building at first, and I wasn’t wearing dark pants—although an exception was made for me) and other forms of prison processing (shoes and belt off, metal detection, sticking my hand in a scanner) I was finally allowed inside the prison, without a phone, a watch, a recording device, or even a pad of paper and a pencil. (I knew this in advance, of course, and set about preserving my recollections of our conversation immediately after leaving the facility.)
After a few minutes of waiting, I looked up to see Sam Bankman-Fried, over in the corner, dressed head to toe in a chocolate-brown prison jumpsuit, along with the still-wild frizzy hair that has been his trademark. These days, Sam looks considerably thinner than the last time we met—it appeared he’d lost 25 pounds, at least. But he looked better and fitter than I thought he would, to be honest—less pudgy, less manic, less fidgety, no bags under his eyes.
He was sustaining himself on rice and beans, he said, because the prison food was unsurprisingly inedible, especially the vegan entrées he was served, which his fellow inmates thought literally smelled like shit. He wasn’t complaining, mind you; he noted that he was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. The rice he buys at the prison commissary has become one of the currencies of the realm inside MDC. We joked briefly about how the arbitrage opportunities in jail were better than anything he experienced trading crypto at Jane Street Capital or buying and selling assets at Alameda. He looked me in the eye pretty much the whole time, something he rarely did with people in the old days.
After we shook hands, he sat down in his own plastic chair as a camera watched us from the ceiling. We were surrounded by a couple of other inmates, dressed similarly, facing their visitors. Sam declined my initial offer to buy him some snacks but ultimately agreed to a $4 bottle of water and a small $2 package of Wheat Thins, which he eagerly consumed.
We talked for the next 75 minutes or so, the first in-person interview he has given to a journalist since he was locked up in the MDC last August and then subsequently convicted of two counts of wire fraud, conspiracy to commit wire fraud, securities fraud, commodities fraud, and money-laundering at his federal trial in November. In March, he was sentenced to 25 years in prison. Our chat, under these rather drastic circumstances, was a profoundly jarring and fascinating experience.

Prison Diaries

Sam began by answering my question about his life in prison. According to him, he lives in an area of the jail that was dedicated mostly to incarcerated women, save for the 35 men with whom he shares a dormitory-style existence in a big open room—bunk beds, no privacy, extreme boredom, and four television sets tuned to ESPN, Telemundo, BET, and a news channel. Sam said he could try to persuade his fellow inmates to change up the channel selection, but television bores him, so he has no interest in that challenge. He prefers watching a small selection of movies or playing some inferior video games on a tablet, without an internet connection, that the prison provides him and other inmates.
When I told him he seemed better than I had anticipated, he replied that he’d become good at faking it. So, yes, life inside the MDC is not the Bahamas. But, truly, I had expected to see him coping less well. At the MDC, Sam has mostly been permitted his prescription medications, and the cocktail he’s been allowed has him thinking clearly, he said, and energized for the legal battle he plans to wage soon against the verdict.
In the meantime, he told me, he doesn’t fear for his safety. He can use the bathroom and shower a couple of times a week in peace. He’s always been a light sleeper, and he’s still not sleeping soundly at the MDC, but mostly because people sometimes bug him during the night about those bags of rice, which they intend to use to barter. He has not been touched or abused, and he seemed notably thankful for that.
He acknowledged that he has a unique rap sheet at MDC, and his fellow prisoners indeed recognize him. He estimated that about half of the other 35 men in his unit were murderers who had been turned into cooperating witnesses for the prosecution in exchange for not serving a life sentence. In prison, many inmates consider cooperating witnesses the lowest form of vermin, lower even than child molesters. Sam also told me that some of the other prisoners tried to get close to him, thinking they would benefit financially from the proximity to a former billionaire. He doesn’t play along, he said.
We didn’t talk about his trial strategy or whether he intentionally siphoned off the $8 billion of FTX customer funds into Alameda. Both topics seemed moot at this point. We did discuss his onetime girlfriend, Caroline Ellison, whom he selected to run Alameda after lawyers kept hounding him about the inherent conflicts in him running both FTX and the hedge fund. (He chose to run FTX.) He acknowledged that he had asked a few other people if they would be interested in the role, but they turned him down. Ellison, he said, was a good manager of people and a good administrator but didn’t like making big investments and didn’t like taking risks. (Obviously, this seems like a bizarre aversion for a hedge fund manager, but I didn’t belabor the point.) In any event, Alameda ended up doing both.
He regretted that he had not tried harder to find another executive. He also said he should have ignored the lawyers and just kept running both FTX and Alameda, conflicts be damned, sort of like how Elon Musk oversees his various companies. Wishing he had ignored his lawyers’ advice emerged as a theme of Sam’s during our visit.

Legal Therapy

We did talk a fair amount about his appeal and about how he believed he was set up to be the fall guy—the victim of the old build-’em-up-only-to-tear-’em-down narrative arc. His theory of the case was that by the fall of 2022, it was every man for himself on a boat that looked to be sinking. By early November 2022, FTX was facing a liquidity crunch. Sam first sought a deal with Binance, which quickly fell apart or was never truly real, and was in the process of trying to raise billions in capital when his lawyers advised him to turn the keys of FTX over to John J. Ray III, which he did. Ray quickly filed FTX for bankruptcy and installed Sullivan & Cromwell, the company’s outside counsel, as counsel to the debtor.
Sam became the target of federal prosecutors, he told me, soon after FTX’s outside counsel at Sullivan & Cromwell made a presentation to them, on November 9, 2022, a day or so before the bankruptcy filing, about what they believed Sam may have engineered between FTX and Alameda, which has been described as the theft of $8 billion of customer money. In a sworn declaration about that meeting, S&C attorney Andrew Dietderich said he reported to the D.O.J. only what Ryne Miller, FTX’s U.S. general counsel, told him about a problem of “reconciling digital assets with entitlements” on FTX’s U.S. exchange, and nothing about Sam and his alleged transgressions.
Sam told me that had he not been persuaded by Sullivan & Cromwell and then by his personal attorneys to relinquish his job as C.E.O. to Ray, the company would not have filed for bankruptcy, and it would still be a thriving enterprise, worth $80 billion now. In this alternate reality, he would be worth $40 billion and he certainly wouldn’t be at the MDC. (S&C declined to comment on Sam’s theory of the case. It’s also fair to reiterate here that Sam was sentenced to 25 years in prison after a jury convicted him of the crimes described above.)
I got the distinct impression that Sam still doesn’t believe he committed any crimes, only that he was the one responsible for putting FTX in a position where it was vulnerable to a bank run and the devious actions of its competitors, not unlike how both Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers failed in 2008. Why, Sam wondered, was he prosecuted when no one at either Bear or Lehman faced criminal prosecution? During our chat, Sam was contrite and certainly chastened, but not exactly apologetic: He was adamant about his innocence, aside from a few degrees of negligence—punishable, in his view, perhaps by civil consequences, not criminal penalties and a quarter-century sentence.
According to Sam’s theory, he isn’t in prison for commingling assets of FTX and Alameda. Instead, he’s an innocent guy who didn’t get a chance to negotiate a deal with the federal prosecutors, and wonders why he was even prosecuted at all for what he believes was a form of a bank run. Instead, they just presented him with his indictment and told him he could eat it— accept it and plead guilty and then get sentenced, or go to trial and try to fight it. Since there was no plea bargain on the table, he said, he fought the charges at trial, and lost. Unlike his fellow inmates, he told me, Sam speaks to his new attorney nearly every weekday for an hour or so, as the focus of his appeal comes into view. He expects to file it this fall. Yes, he will appeal, but most people think he faces long odds of success.
On the day of my visit, Sullivan & Cromwell, still counsel to the debtor-in-possession in FTX’s bankruptcy case, filed a first draft of a plan of reorganization that appears to give its customers and creditors all of their money back, plus a little more—a return of $15 billion on $12 billion of claims—in large part because of the investments Sam made through Alameda. The plan, which still has a long way to go before being confirmed, also gives Sullivan & Cromwell, along with other FTX advisors, “exculpation” from future lawsuits related to its conduct in the matter. This is not unusual in a plan of reorganization. But Sam has exhaustive thoughts on this subject, which I may explore with him in a follow-up conversation.

Go West, Young Man

I’m not sure how much longer Sam will be at the MDC, and neither is he. He has asked to remain in Brooklyn at least until the fall, when his appellate brief will be filed. But that’s not up to him, of course. If he gets moved, which could come at any moment without warning or explanation, I’m told, it would probably be to California, closer to Palo Alto, where he grew up, the son of two Stanford Law professors. At that point, the question will be whether he gets to spend his incarcerated years in a federal penitentiary, which are mostly nasty places filled with hardened criminals, or in more of a minimum security prison, as Mike Milken once did.
If he does get moved out of Brooklyn, his family and legal team worry, he could spend as long as four months on a bus, handcuffed to the seat, making his way, slowly, across the country. Such prison buses make frequent stops—picking up new prisoners, dropping off others—which explains why they take so long to reach their final destinations. There’s also a remote possibility that he could be placed on one of the many planes operated by the U.S. Marshals Service, a.k.a. “Con Air.” But he’s more likely to get the infamous “diesel therapy,” they fear. Either way, during this hypothetical cross-country journey, Sam would be completely incommunicado with both his family and his lawyers until he reaches his new home in California, deprived of the minimal access to the internet and email he now enjoys in Brooklyn.
Just as we were getting ready to discuss some knotty issues, such as his choices during his trial or the fact that many of the people who once worked for him had turned against him to save themselves, our visiting time was up. It was non-negotiable. We quickly shook hands again. Then Sam went back to his dormitory and I went back outside into a glorious spring afternoon.
Credits/Via: https://puck.news/exclusive-prison-chat-with-sam-bankman-fried/

Hello all. I want to thank this group. I went into my 1st routine colonoscopy without any procedure anxiety thanks to all the helpful posts.
It was originally scheduled for mid-March but I canceled due to being on antibiotics for a post-dental procedure infection and a leg injury suffered on a trail.
I did a low-residue, low-fiber diet starting 1 week before and a clear liquid diet yesterday. I ate less the last 2 days of the solid food diet.
I drank a lot of clear liquids. Between 8 am yesterday and 5:50 am today, I drank 2.6 gallons of fluids (dye-free Gatorade, white cranberry juice, apple juice, chicken broth, coconut water, tea, and water) and ate 8 servings of Jello (pineapple, lime, and lemon).
Prep was SuTab. 5:00 pm yesterday, I took a Zofran to help prevent nausea. This was automatically prescribed. 6:00 pm yesterday, I took the 1st bottle of pills, 250 mg of Gas-X, and drank the 1st 16 oz of water. 7:30 pm yesterday, I finished the 2nd and 3rd 16 oz of water. 7:45 pm yesterday, the SuTab started working. 2:50 am today, I took a Zofran. 3:50 am today, I did the 2nd half of the prep. 5:50 am today was when I had to stop everything by mouth. I managed to drink a 20 oz Gatorade Rapid Rehydration after finishing the 32 oz of water I had to drink after taking the SuTab pills. I finished it at 5:48 am. 8:50 am was check-in time for a 9:50 procedure. My procedure started 5 minutes early. I recovered from the Propofol much faster than they expected. Walked out of the clinic at 10:30 and was home at 11.
The worst part of the prep was the headache I got from only getting 3 hours of interrupted sleep and sleeping weird so my neck tightened up. And being very cold.
My biggest surprises were having no discomfort from the SuTab and how little time I spent in the bathroom. I expected to be in there for hours but I just did multiple quick trips. And peeing out the butt is extremely weird.
There was a single 3mm polyp that he removed and non-bleeding internal hemorrhoids that didn't require treatment. He said I don't have to come back for 7-10 years.

My father's parents died more than 9 years ago. The statute of limitations for filing any claims against the estate was 1 year after their death. He waited more than 2 years before he went to a lawyer. He's gone to numerous lawyers since then to get them to file something and they keep telling him it's too late, there's nothing that can be done because that's what the law says. The only thing that was found out was that there was no will.
He seems to think that his sibling stole the money and that there should've been more than $100,000 to divide between 15-20 people.
He is obsessed with trying to find out if his sibling stole the money. His sibling ended up taking out a restraining order against him.
Right now as I write this, he is yelling/venting at my mother and will not let her leave the kitchen. He's yelling about his sibling and how no one will help him. He thinks the lawyers are f-ing with him and that the law can do something. He will not, cannot accept that it's too late.
At the very least he wants his sibling to admit what happened to the money. He thinks a judge can compel the sibling to tell him where the money is. We told him this isn't possible, it's not how the law works. Even lawyers have told him this.
He is obsessed and says this is eating him alive. He has been on medication, medical marijuana and nothing helps. He will not listen to doctors. Therapy does not work because he believes his own distortions of the world. He will not admit that he could've prevented everything that's happened to him regarding his legal situations. He's delusional. He's been this way for more than 20 years as he's had other legal issues that were his fault but cannot admit it.
He's claiming he's a victim and no one will help him. It's his fault, he waited too long. He always creates these problems and then claims he's a victim.
Can anyone recommend anything? The doctors cannot help him. He's not willing to admit that he screwed up, instead he wants to blame everyone else and won't let it go. He's an emotionally abusive bully and we're afraid of him. We (my mom and I) sneak around the house and hide from him to avoid being yelled at. My parents are in their early 70s and this is ridiculous. We cannot move away as we don't have enough money. There is no where to go, nor should we be forced to because of him.
The only thing I can think to do and I don't want to do it is to contact the sibling's adult child and explain what's happening with my father and ask what they know about the money. Maybe they (my grandparents) spent it on medical things. Or maybe it's tied up with grandma's disabled sibling. I do think my father's sibling likely stole money from their account, but what is anyone gonna do now? Thing is, my father won't believe what anyone says about where the money went. He would want hard proof - copies of financial records and he'll never get those.

I wasn't planning on watching Thrice Upon A Time. I had not liked the previous films and they seemed like a very inferior product compared to the original anime. However, the good reviews and opinions I saw about it encouraged me to do so. I did it with as open and tolerant a mind as possible, knowing that there was a good chance I wouldn't like the film. "What's the worst that could happen? That I don't like it and continue to prefer the original series? At least I'll be entertained for two and a half hours," I thought. What I did not expect at all is the deep feeling of disgust and repulsion that this film provoked in me, in a way that no other film has provoked in years.
I hated the movie from start to finish. I could spend hours talking about the boring action sequences, about its ugly, excessive CGI that ruins the already ugly mecha, about its disgusting hypersexualization of fucking 14-year-old girls, about how Misato's plans don't make sense, about how Last Kiss almost made me tear my ears off, or its plot full of Deus Ex Machinas with concepts conveniently taken by Hideaki Anno from the place that his last name suggests; but the real reason I'm writing this is because I feel like these movies spit on everything the excellent original work represents.
Not only because as adaptations they fail miserably, but also because they retroactively damage the original work (we'll talk about that later).
Before I begin to explain why the rebuilds are bad adaptations, I want to warn that I am going to do a relatively exhaustive review of the 4 films, so this rant is going to be very long, like staying up late on a winter night with chronic insomnia. That said, let's start to see the reasons:
WHAT IS NEON GENESIS EVANGELION?:
To understand why rebuilds fail as remakes, I must first ask you, dear reader: What does Neon Genesis Evangelion mean to you? (it should at least be familiar to you, unless you've spent your life under a bridge) What do you think about when you read that title, apart from Shinji fucking in front of a comatose Asuka? What comes to mind when you hear the most famous opening in anime history, apart from Shinji strangling the otter against Happy Thursday's throat? (in more ways than one). If your answer is: "It's a mecha anime for emos with a coomer protagonist", that's fine, I respect that; but please press the red "X" in the top right corner of your screen, you can now leave.
Now, I'm going to get serious and explain my definition: Evangelion is a work about the hedgehog's dilemma and the difficulties of forming emotional bonds that human beings have, as well as the consequences of trying to separate from them for fear of rejection. It is not a story about heroes. It's not a story about saving the world. In Evangelion there are neither heroes nor villains, but rather a group of emotionally broken characters trying to be happy in a world just as broken as them. The real enemy of Evangelion is not the angels. It is the lack of communication and empathy.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilema_del_erizo
It is that same lack of communication and empathy that progressively causes everything to go to hell to conclude with a cathartic and bleak ending, but consistent with the themes of the work. It is therefore an existentialist work about human relationships disguised as a mecha anime. This, added to a unique visual style, daring direction, and mechas like never before seen on television, made Evangelion one of the most influential anime in all of history, as well as a true commercial success for Gainax Studio. Success that encouraged other studios to carry out projects such as Cowboy Bebop or Serial Experiment Lain, taking anime towards a new golden age.
Even today you can hear the echoes of that Third Impact of End of Evangelion in 1997. The list of works influenced by Evangelion both inside and outside of Japan is endless. Of course, it is not a perfect work, nor extensive in errors: its target audience is ambiguous, many of the biblical references are more for decoration than anything else, and several aspects of the ending(s) could have been explained better. However, many of these errors can be attributed to a lack of time and budget during the production of the original anime (which was quite chaotic and improvised); therefore, they are understandable and forgivable.
In summary, we can conclude that Evangelion is a dark, introspective, provocative and unique work (at least at its time). This is also combined with a unique visual identity and complex characters whose relationships intertwine and interconnect throughout the work. The sum of all these factors is what led Evangelion to be such a critically acclaimed work that it transcended its own genre and became an icon of popular culture. And this in turn constitutes the biggest mistake of rebuilds; because they commit the biggest sin that an adaptation can commit: denying everything that made the original work great.
ADAPTING WITHOUT A CLEAR PURPOSE:
One of the biggest problems with these remakes (as well as a clear example of what I'm saying) is their total narrative inconsistency. Let me explain: the first rebuilds movie (1.11) is a literal copy-paste of the first 6 chapters of the original anime, with practically the same scenes, dialogues and even music. This makes the film completely redundant and unnecessary (and makes one wonder why it exists); But in any case, the message is being conveyed that the purpose of these remakes is to adapt the original series as faithfully as possible to the cinema with a current animation style.
However, the second movie (2.22) is a... something. A pastiche of new and old things where the plot broadly follows that of the original anime, but with many things changed (of course, for the worse) and a different ending. All this compressing no less than 14 chapters of the original anime into two and a half hours. Here the message that one can infer is that it seeks to adapt the original story (very briefly) by changing and rearranging certain elements, now more in line with what an adaptation is.
However, then we get to 3.33 and... well, after a 14-year because reasons timeskip, we're now in a post-post-apocalyptic world (repetition intended) where ex-Nerv members fight against Nerv itself. Nerv in giant spaceships, there are mechas everywhere, Misato is a sociopath, and Shinji and Asuka still look exactly the same because "DAMN JEBA." Here we can infer that what is sought is to create a totally new story and take it in different directions than the original. The following movie (3.0+1.01) is the only one that is consistent with this purpose.
Whether all these narrative pirouettes were planned in advance or not (clearly not), we can see that there is a clear incongruity between what is intended to be done and what is finally done. All of this generates a strong narrative chaos where the elements and themes of the original anime are mixed with the new ones, creating a total inconsistency. Since also in 3.0+1.01 it is revealed (unfortunately to me) that everything is part of the same universe and this is not really a remake, the excuse of "they are different universes, they don't have to be the same" doesn't work either.
In fact, one thing that you will see me comment a lot throughout this article is the lack of narrative consistency of these remakes, especially in comparison to the original work.
A HEDGEHOG WITHOUT TICKS:
No character in Evangelion better embodies the central theme of the work than Shinji Ikari, its own protagonist. Shinji is not a hero: he is not brave. He is not a genius. He is not charismatic. He is not selfless. He doesn't want to save the world. His reason for piloting the Eva is to gain recognition and appreciation from others; especially from his father, whom he hates, but at the same time admires; He feels that she despises him, but he also wants (and needs) that she loves him. Shinji spends the entire series in the dilemma between escaping from what hurts him (classic avoidance behavior) or accepting it and moving on, even at the risk of being hurt again.
This theme is rock solid throughout the entire original series: from the first to the last chapter of the anime, and from minute one to the very end of End of Evangelion. Even the opening itself makes several visual references to Shinji's hedgehog dilemma. This can make Shinji an infuriating character for audiences accustomed to typical anime protagonists; but it's those same things that make Shinji such a unique and special character. He deconstructs and subverts the hero's journey. And it's not as if this hinders the plot: Shinji is not proactive, but he also does not spend the series crying, as many often claim.
https://files.catbox.moe/eolho0.mp4
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomito
And as you may already be imagining, the Shinji of the rebuilds does not have a hedgehog's dilemma. Or rather, he has it, but only during the first movie (copy-paste of the original anime) and part of the second. This is a problem, because it creates a strong narrative inconsistency (again) where it seems that two Shinjis exist at the same time or that this one is bipolar. As of 3.33, Shinji's entire character arc is based on trying to redeem himself for his past mistakes first by unleashing "Almost Third Impact" (what a stupid name) and subsequently preventing Kaworu's death while trying to right said mistake.
Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. The problem is that I have already seen the arc of the hero who fails to eventually rise up and succeed in 100 trillion works, while the hedgehog's dilemma in none more than in Evangelion (at least in my case). Which makes Shinji a much less interesting character. Some might argue that in 3.0 + 1.01 Shinji does have such a dilemma because he spends half the movie crawling on the ground; but there is not a hedgehog's dilemma, but rather depression for having seen Kaworu's head go KAWOOM (I know, the joke was very bad, but if he didn't do it, I would explode too).
End of Evangelion's Shinji did have such a dilemma because the reason for his depression was having been manipulated and used by someone he had previously opened up to and then forced to kill him, not for failing in his mission (in fact, he was very efficient in her mission to separate Kaworu's head from her body), which in turn brings sexual (and later, deadly) results for Asuka. I insist: narrative consistency. But this is not the worst: the worst thing is that at certain moments in these films, Shinji becomes the typical shonen savior hero, betraying the central point of his character in the original series.
https://youtu.be/E-x-f2OrWeA
A perfect example of this is the ending of 2.22, where the fight in chapter 19 (COINCENTLY from where the original anime starts to get more introspective) is transformed into a ridiculous shipping attempt, with Rei turned into a damsel in distress and Shinji into a savior hero while spouting all the typical cliché lines, topped off with a disgustingly cheesy ending. But of course, how could it end otherwise? With Shinji's Eva practicing cannibalism on Zeruel's corpse (the original scene)? Too disturbing for current times. Shinji and Rei fighting as a team to defeat him? Yes of course. Rei has enough not being in the kitchen. Besides, Asuka already takes care of that, hoping to receive her alpha male's cock as a reward.
https://youtu.be/TPS0Uk0TkP0
Because, like any good modern anime protagonist, Shinji now has a harem.
FETISHING WITHOUT CONTROL:
Of all the characters who are now part of Shinji's harem, the one who is most harmed by this is Rei (Asuka's case is different, and the other character is an infernal creation from Anno's sick mind). Not only because acting like a bitch in heat goes totally against her personality and because of the murky situation, considering that she is a clone of Shinji's mother, but also because her character is reduced to a mere fetish object that does things cute to produce tenderness in the viewer and make coomers buy their figurines.
Rei is an interesting character because he raises numerous existential questions based on the ship of Theseus paradox: the concept of identity, to what extent we can consider ourselves still ourselves, the construction and definition of a "self", etc. But here, her screen time piloting her Unit 00 is minimal (COINCENTLY most of it in 1.11) and her exploits are practically irrelevant or non-existent, also being reduced to a mere damsel in distress at the end of 2.22, as I said before.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradoja_de_Teseo
In 3.0+1.01 he doesn't even get to pilot an Eva. Her role in the film is to cause pity and produce tenderness with her total ignorance (I see that the idiot Anno forgot that all the Reis are born with basic knowledge) while she is seen with different hairstyles, different outfits, working as a farmer, taking care of a baby, etc. In short, a fetish object where she wants the public to value her for how "moe" she is instead of for her abilities or as a character. In Anno's mind, feminism advances in reverse. Ironic, considering that it was precisely Rei who unintentionally started the moe culture.
Of course, it goes without saying that Rei is not the only one who suffers from this extreme fetishization of her character in these films. Under the excuse of paying homage to End of Evangelion, Asuka now always wears an eye patch (needless to say it has nothing to do with having been injured there), a cap with cat ears, in addition to having a very convenient trend for the coomer public of walking naked and semi-naked through other people's houses. She sometimes puts on the plugsuit, but near the end of the movie, it is conveniently torn off, lest we forget that this is made by the Japanese.
One of the best examples of how this hareminication has destroyed the main female characters is in the elevator scene. In the original anime, Rei tries to advise Asuka in a time of particular vulnerability and depression. Rei's limited social skills, coupled with Asuka being Asuka, cause her to misinterpret the attempt to help as mockery and an act of condescension, triggering a slap from her towards Rei and a worsening of her already strained relationship and Asuka's mental state. Rei doesn't fight back because she knows that doing so would only make things even worse.
It is an excellent dramatic scene because it once again brings to the foreground the hedgehog's dilemma and the difficulties between human relationships, very much in line with what Evangelion is. In 2.22, this scene is gratuitously introduced and turned into two horny bitches fighting over which of the two will let their alpha male penetrate first, with a highly OC Rei stopping the assault attempt in a 100% gangsta way to make her see more "cool." The scene doesn't even make plot sense, because Asuka at that moment is not even depressed, and in the original anime this occurs at a much later time under a very different context.
and speaking of asuka...
SOMEONE CALLED ASUKA:
When I started watching these movies, I was afraid that Asuka's character had undergone modifications to make her more "palatable" to new audiences. What took me completely by surprise was how radically different this Asuka is from the original. So different that they can't even be considered the same character. To show it very clearly, we are going to review the personality of both:
Asuka from the original anime: An energetic and outgoing half-German, half-Japanese girl (actually it's 1/4, but who cares) who loves to be the center of attention and have everyone praise her due to the lack of parental love received during her childhood having been abandoned by her father and supplanted by her mother, who suffered from severe mental disorders. She is extremely proud and competitive because she feels that being Eva's pilot is the only thing that gives her an identity and purpose, which makes her tend to become quickly frustrated when things don't go her way and become defensive when she feels like she is being outmaneuvered. . He loves to make fun of others (especially Shinji), to the point of being cruel at times, but he does not do it out of malice, but rather to compensate for his enormous inferiority complex due to the rejection suffered by his mother and having witnessed her. committed suicide (and possibly even tried to kill her) the day she was chosen as Eva's pilot and came running to wish her a Happy Thursday. She admires Kaji and wants to fuck him because she hates her own adolescence, she needs to feel adult and independent due to suffering from a certain Electra complex for having lacked a true father figure during her childhood. She has a sweet and vulnerable nature, but she rarely expresses it to anyone except her best friend Hikari and I better stop this now because too much text.
Rebuild Asuka (hereinafter "Asuka"): A girl soldier created by Nerv as part of a series of clones who has always been alone and thinks she doesn't need anyone, although she secretly wishes to have a family. She hits and insults others for no reason, she yells a lot, never smiles or makes jokes, and hates socializing with others, which doesn't stop her from looking for Shinji's dick within 2 days of meeting him. She always plays video games while someone is talking to her and at night she talks to herself with a doll like an autistic person.
As we can see, these two characters not only look nothing alike: several of their traits directly contradict each other. Because they look alike, they are not even alike in aesthetics: the original Asuka had red hair and dressed in the traditional feminine way, while "Asuka" is light brown and dresses in a tomboy style (which I'm not saying is wrong, I'm just commenting to show the radical difference). It's not that they have changed Asuka: it's that they have directly murdered her to supplant her by someone with whom she only shares her first name (not even her last name). And needless to say, the change has been VERY for the worse.
To describe the first character, I had to spend 15 damn lines, and even then I had to leave out many important facets of his personality, his development in the original series and his entire character arc in EoE, because if I didn't have one endless bible For the second, 6 lines were enough for me, and I could have had more left over if I had been more concise. The first character is a complex and three-dimensional character, with multiple facets, edges and layers. She feels like a real person. The second character is a generic tsundere that you can find in any mecha anime of the week. She is not even comparable to the first; She's not even a good character.
We cannot speak of Flanderization because not even the most basic traits of the character have been respected. Nor can we speak of a deconstruction because that same absence of basic traits means that there is no character construction on which to stand in the first place. Obviously, this change greatly resents the interactions between characters: the original Asuka was a charismatic and fun character with the ability to drive the plot on her own (as soon as she appears in chapter 8 of the original anime she is already changing the entire dynamic between characters) , while "Asuka" is mostly only in the background or to fight; He doesn't even have a character arc as such. In fact, in 2.22 he has even less screen time than several supporting characters.
His chemistry with Shinji is also non-existent (and I'm not just referring to the romantic level) and they barely have any development together. They like each other here because... ehhhh... she likes how he cooks and he thinks she's hot? It's not that the AsuShinji (or ShinSuka, or whatever the hell it's called) here is forced: it's just that it doesn't even make sense. The only reason people still ship them together is because they did it in the 90s. Yūko Miyamura's performance also feels very lackadaisical and lacks passion, which is quite unlike her. Although perhaps this is intentional, since her character always talks as if she has the spear of Longinus permanently stuck up her rectum. In fact, the few times she says her iconic "Anta baka?" This one feels very forced, in addition to not having her characteristic high-pitched tone.
In short, the character has suffered the same fetishization as Rei (gamer girl, tomboy, one-eyed, etc.), but also with the aggravating factor that not even her basic characteristics have been respected here. This is especially disconcerting when we take into account that the rest of the characters have their original personalities more or less intact (albeit simplified). Even more disconcerting if we take into account that Asuka is possibly the most popular character in all of Evangelion, and even more so if we consider that she is Anno's favorite character (in fact, the initial idea was for Asuka to be the protagonist).
https://evaresources.wordpress.com/der-mond/
Given this, the inevitable question arises: "Why?" What was the point of turning Asuka into an inferior and tsundere copy of Rei, even more so when there are already three clones? It has always been rumored that Asuka is not popular in Japan, but that is completely false. The only semi-rational explanation I can think of is that they did it to please the haters. It's no secret that a portion within the Evangelion fandom (and outside of it) hates Asuka with a passion. They see her as someone toxic and cruel who dedicates herself to screwing others for no reason, without understanding that you don't have to like a well-written character.
https://imgur.com/a/KznXE1x
What these people fail to understand is that Asuka's verbal abuse is a defense mechanism to avoid opening up to others, since Asuka constantly says things that do not fit with what she really feels or thinks (clear proof is chapter 16 from the original series). It's not like it matters much, considering they were never more than an extremely vocal minority. That the character is so popular is proof of this. The great irony of all this is that the new "Asuka" is a much more unpleasant and detestable character than the original, since she lacks the redeemable qualities of the original and her moments of comic relief.
And if until now I have been more or less benevolent with this remake, this is something I cannot forgive: because changing a character just because a group of people doesn't like it is one of the most cowardly and pathetic acts in the world. that a writer can fall. The fact that this was also at the expense of one of the best female characters in the history of anime and with a wonderful story arc makes it even more bloody. Any other halfway competent writer would have responded with this.
https://youtu.be/5Js0ea6yPKM
...although if we go by Ockham's razor, the most likely explanation is simply that Hideaki Anno is mentally retarded.
A CHARACTER TO DESTROY A FRANCHISE AND BIND IT TO DARKNESS:
Mari Makinami Illustrious A.K.A María Iskariote (what an appropriate last name) is one of the worst creations ever made by humans. Not since the atomic bombs has humanity created something so horrible. Worse than the holocaust. Worse than fascism. Worse than Facebook memes. Worse than stepping on a lego. I would even dare to say that it is worse than pizza with pineapple. No character better reflects Anno's mental decline or better embodies all the problems of the current anime industry than this trash.
This character contributes absolutely nothing to the plot, he does not contribute at any time to its advancement, he lacks his own development or story, he does absolutely nothing relevant in the 3 films in which he appears, and he does not even have a defined personality. So much so, that all of her scenes could be eliminated or replaced by any other character and she would barely affect the plot, or not affect it at all.
The character is so frighteningly one-dimensional that she doesn't even show different emotions or moods during the three films in which she appears, always being perpetually happy and carefree even in tense situations for literally no reason. This leads to moments as surreal as her starting to sing and hum in scenes that are intended to be serious or dramatic (or so I think; perhaps what they wanted was to turn this into an unintentional comedy), again generating a gigantic narrative dissonance. The last third of 3.33 is the best example of this.
But that's not the worst: this character is clearly made for otaku coomers to masturbate to. She has almost every fetish possible: glasses/lenses (whatever they call it in your country), pigtails, miniskirt, schoolgirl, saying "nya", big tits, obsession with smell and tight outfits, etc. To make matters worse in 3.0 + 1.01 we discover that she is 48 years old, so we can also add the milf fetish. Evidently, her tits always bounce in her plugsuit (she would swear that never happened in the original series) and there are many close-ups of her ass. In addition to constantly making sexual advances towards Shinji, which also turns this piece of shit into a potential pedophile.
If the thing simply ended there, we could say that this character remains a mere annoying and unnecessary secondary character. Unfortunately, the character is also disruptive to the plot, occupying long filler scenes that do nothing more than waste time that is already scarce in a film, and that could have been used on something else more interesting; like Pen Pen watching TV, Pen Pen eating a sardine, etc. Without going any further, both 2.22, 3.33 and 3.0+1.01 begin with a long filler scene of her hitting on her. Well, to be honest, the 3.33 one is more Asuka, but this abortion is still out there fucking and singing.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that discussing why this character exists is much more interesting than any other debate that can be created about these films. I still think about it. However, the ending of 3.0+1.01 gives a good clue: the character was created solely and exclusively to stay with Shinji. I can only imagine that Anno made this tired of the fandom shipping and the arguments over who Shinji should stay with, so he decided to end the matter by creating his own ideal waifu with all the fetishes he likes in a woman to end it. with this. It's disgusting, but considering we're talking about a Japanese, totally possible.
It's surreal coming from the man who harshly criticized the use of anime as escapism and the excessive female objectification and sexualization in it, but it's the only semi-decent explanation I can think of. Basically, he is what is called a mascot character in literature. That would explain why this character never shows doubts, nor any kind of internal conflict, or why he is a better Eva pilot than Asuka and Rei themselves. It is also very revealing about the quality of the Rebuilds: creating a self-insert OC just to be the partner of the protagonist or another main character is the quintessential trait of all bad fanfiction.
However, among all this tsunami of disqualifications, I also have to say something positive: spending three movies giving hope to the shippers only to have Shinji be cuckolded simultaneously by Rei and Asuka in the last one and end up with a character with which had zero development (before 3.0+1.01 I didn't even know its name) is a true trolling masterclass, worthy of the best of ball pumpers. Only a true emperor of evil would have come up with such a twisted and at the same time perfect way to screw over a large part of the fandom. I give you my tens, Anno.
THE ANTI-UNIVERSE OF ANTI-NARRATIVE:
Of all the new concepts that Anno brings up at the last minute from the place named after his last name, none stands out more than the "anti-universe." Or, as I like to call it, the "anti-good writing." Basically because it perfectly represents all the problems of the rebuilds and their script. In the final stretch of 3.0+1.01 we have the last-minute revelation of a quantum plane of existence capable of turning imagined worlds into reality and changing this through Lilith, which cannot be understood by the human mind (wow, WHAT CONVENIENT!) and whose existence has never been mentioned or even hinted at in the entire franchise until CONCIDENTLY the aforementioned last third of the film.
In other words, a gigantic Deus Ex Machina created in an improvised way to avoid repeating End of Evangelion and forcing a happy ending where Shinji creates an ideal universe for each character (although that is questionable, as we will see later). And it is far from being the only one: the spear of Cassius, the Eva of Infinity, the key of Nebuchadnezzar, the Book of Life, and so on. None of these concepts are integrated into the plot in an organic and natural way, but rather they arise spontaneously at its convenience when it needs it. Except for the new "Super Berserker Mode" of the Evas, which is simply a power-up to sell figurines.
As I said before, if at least this were an alternate universe separate from the original anime, all this bombardment of concepts pulled out of the ass would be a little better justified. But the revelation that everything is a cycle and we are in the same universe as the original work only makes it even worse, generating countless inconsistencies about why they never mentioned this or never used that (what's the point of the seeds of life If you can create universes simply by imagining them?). Although without a doubt, the worst of all these new concepts is "the curse of Eve."
Here we have a new concept with very strong repercussions completely launched, which is not even an explanation in itself, it does not answer anything and to make matters worse, the same films contradict each other several times. Needless to say, this is a cheap excuse for the three main characters not to grow up and continue sexualizing 14-year-old girls after the most gratuitous timeskip ever seen. And speaking of timeskip, putting such a long one in the middle of the story is a first-time writing error. If you are writers, never do that: the bigger the time jump, the more things you will be forced to explain, since the less you do it, the more plot holes will form as a result.
And of course, here it explains little to nothing of what happened these 14 years. Like where Nerv got such a tremendous base from, if in 3.33 it seemed that together with Rei and Kaworu it was made up of four people. Or how they have gotten such an army of pseudo-Evas, especially when these are supposed to be extremely expensive (wow, and SEELE with all her unlimited resources was barely 9 in EoE). Or worse yet, how Kaji managed to stop Almost Third Impact (seriously, the name couldn't be stupider). None of these questions are answered at any time. Obviously because they can't do it.
Evangelion has always been characterized by leaving things up to the public's interpretation, but here I feel that they are vilely taking advantage of it so as not to have to give any kind of explanations. And in the case at hand, do not even pay attention to contradictions. Like Touji and Kensuke got on Unit 01 and that doesn't stop them from being 28 after the timeskip. Or that Mari appears to be 14 despite looking like an adult in Gendo's photos and flashbacks, plus the fact that Evas, by simple logic, could not exist back then.
The height of absurdity is when near the end of 3.0+1.01 the "unexpected" revelation occurs (actually we all saw it coming) that everything is a cycle and we are facing a reboot of the original timeline, of which only Kaworu seems to be conscious. He let them guess without giving them any clues how many times Kaworu mentioned or even hinted at such a thing in the original series. Needless to say, nothing is ever explained about it: Who created that cycle? (Adam? Lilith? The First Ancestral Race? Hideaki Anno's last name?) For what purpose? How does it work? How long does it last? Why is Kaworu the only one who remembers him? Do these remakes make sense?
THE DEATH OF A STYLE:
Fortress-cities folding in on themselves. Designs and constructions oscillating between the nineties, the utopian and the cyberpunk. Meshes of flesh and blood animated with the souls of the dead fighting with classical music in the background. A mysterious and ambiguous lore where aliens, technology and conspiracies mix with gnostic, cabalistic elements and the most esoteric aspects of Christianity (did the History Channel predict Evangelion?). Minimalist posters moving quickly between frames. Monochrome backgrounds flashing aggressively (bad luck if you were epileptic). So consistent with its themes that the A.T. fields themselves. They were an allegory of the hedgehog's dilemma (I'm not making this up, Kaworu himself says it in chapter 23).
https://imgur.com/a/2M0eDVK
The sum of all these factors is what allowed Evangelion to build an absolutely unique identity, the one that allowed people to say "hey, that's an Eva!". Starting in 3.33, all that is lost to disappear in 3.0+1.01 in favor of giant spaceships, mechanical mechas made of pure CGI, battles full of colored lights, multiverses and time loops. I'm not saying these elements are bad in and of themselves, but I've already seen a thousand mecha stories with these. For that, I start watching any of the versions of Gundam or Macross. I could also complain about the boring shots without audiovisual language and always using the same color palette, but to be fair, that is an endemic evil of current anime.
And like any bad remake, 3.0+1.01 can't help but pay homage to several scenes from the original work, completely failing to understand the point of said scenes. As an example, we have Ritsuko shooting Gendo for no reason other than to pay homage to End of Evangelion, ignoring that the context between both scenes is very different. Furthermore, here they never explain the relationship that exists between the two, so the scene makes no sense; especially for those who never saw the original series, who will also find mentions of facts that these films have never shown or bothered to explain.
Even worse is when they try to pay homage to the iconic battle between Asuka and the Eva Series. Not only because of the total absence of the graphic violence and choreography of the original, but because what makes that fight so remembered is its emotional component, since it is preceded by a narrative catharsis in which Asuka discovers that the Her mother's soul was always in Unit 02, in addition to being marked by the constant tension of knowing if she will be able to finish the fight before the Eva's energy supply runs out. Here the Evas never run out of energy (why do they need the power supply, then?), so there is no such tension.
In the original fight Asuka may not be shooting 1387945 Evas with a super cannon larger than her as she falls through an... interdimensional hole?; But there you feel every blow, you can appreciate every movement in detail, and the dramatic tension in crescendo only improves the result. If this were a shonen, the logical thing is that Asuka would win. After all, her character arc has been wrapped up in a climactic way. Unfortunately, this is Evangelion. When the Evas Series manage to cause a mortal wound with the pseudo-spear of Longinus and the energy counter reads zero, the outcome is already decided. What happens next is horrific (Asuka's enemies are cruel to her even after she is dead), and just as horrifying are Yūko Miyamura's screams and Miki Nagasawa's performance as Maya announcing that Asuka is dead. In the Rebuilds there are no performances anywhere near that level.
End of Evangelion will be as dark and uncomfortable to watch as you want, but it is a film where all those responsible put their souls into achieving the best possible result, both on a technical and artistic level.
and well, I think that for today I have already downloaded too much, an apology for the large amount of text, I will make a second part at another time because I have so many things to comment on... anyway, I hope you have a good day/afternoon/night or when you read this .

Just a rant about ✨men✨
My boyfriend of 1 week told me that “the worst you get is that you’re a little crunchy” then proceeded to explain what this ment. Saying “it means that you’re brown on the outside and blond on the inside, which I think is cute.” This is like saying “no offence but” proceeds to say something offensive. At first I felt he was correct, thinking “yeah maybe I am” but the more I thought about it the more I knew that I’m actually quite an intelligent person. I’m a nerd infact. I literally read books daily. I know a dumb blond when I see one and that’s just not me. The reason I felt he was right at first was because I let him make me feel that way, I let him treat me like I’m dumb. He says I have little blond moments, and I think that he’s just misunderstanding what’s actually going on in those moments. We’ve grown up with very many different experiences, so me figuring out what he means by things apparently means that I’m a “dumb blond” for not already knowing.
Then days later he sends me a TikTok “ https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYRjsktb/ “ in context is a girl lip syncing to a audio with the caption “when your dating someone smarter then you” I don’t think he realised it’s not a compliment to himself.😂 And not to make it a competition but why does he think he’s the smartest in the relationship. 🤷‍♀️ because he clearly doesn’t know how to speak to a lady.
He doesn’t know me long enough to make that type of judgement. Everyone has their little blond moments, this doesn’t mean they’re a “crunchy.” Maybe I got into a relationship to quickly before getting to know the guy, and for him to actually get to know me. The more and more I’ve been talking to him, the more toxic he seems.
Am I being dramatic, or should I generally not let a man speak to me like this?

Hello /AnimeFigures, and welcome again to the Bootleg Megathread!
Please use this thread to post any and all questions you might have regarding counterfeit figures. This includes questions such as “Is my figure a bootleg?” and “Can I trust this seller?”.
Remember to be as detailed as possible when asking for help. Provide clear pictures (ideally, multiple) or a link to the item you’re looking to buy, depending on what you’re asking. Let us know why you think this might be a bootleg, or why you don’t trust this seller. Also keep in mind that different types of figures vary in quality. For example, a prize figure won't have the same level of detail or quality as a scaled figure.
As bootlegs are a serious problem for anyone who enjoys collecting, we are also happy to provide you with a few tips to spotting them yourselves. We encourage you guys to practice these tips before posting here.

For figures you already have:

• Examine your retailer. Are they known to sell counterfeits? Keep in mind that all retailers on the sidebar are approved by /AnimeFigures, and do not sell bootlegs.
  
• Was the price far lower then the current average?
  
• Check MFC for known counterfeits. If a figure has any there will be red text indicating so on that figure’s listing. Click on the red text to see pictures of the bootleg.
  
• Compare yours to the counterfeit and the user pictures- Do not compare yours to the prototype. (Comparison tip: Start with the hair. I usually find that the be the easiest place to spot differences!)
  
• Look for poor quality paint jobs, materials, or sculpt work (lots of "coloring outside the lines", shiny skin, missing textures or gradients, ect).
  
• Examine the box. Some bootleg boxes are very easy to spot, and some- not so much. Look for a holo sticker of authenticity.
  

Past Bootleg Megathreads can be found here, for reference only. Please be sure to only post in the current one.

For figures you're looking to buy:

General Tips:

• Examine your retailer. Are they known to sell counterfeits? Keep in mind that all retailers on the sidebar are approved by /AnimeFigures, and do not sell bootlegs.
  
• Is the price far lower then the current average?
  
• Check item descriptions carefully. Bootlegs may be listed under fake brands rather than the known manufacturer. They may also contain descriptions like "China version" to avoid admitting that they are fake; similar weasel-word terms include "hand-made" (and its often-associated "item size may vary") and "colors may differ on your screen".
  
• Check MFC for a shop review listing.
  

Ebay Checklist:

1. Price.

• Again. Seriously, have I mentioned that yet? Insanely low prices should be throwing up some serious alert signals.

2. Look for pictures of the actual product, that the seller took.

• A lot of sellers like to list their items with the official photos put out by the manufacturer. Check MFC if you're unsure of what you’re looking at. If the pictures under "official" on MFC are the same as the ones on eBay, then they were not taken by the seller. Some sellers are just lazy and don't want to take pictures for every listing, but some use that as a trick to make you think you're getting an official item, when you're really going to get a bootleg.
• When in doubt, ask the seller for pictures of the actual product. If they ignore you, or say they can't do that, move on to a different listing.

3. Check their feedback.

• Look specifically for feedback where the buyer received a bootleg. This is usually going to be in the "negative feedback" section.

4. Check where it ships from.

• eBay is really good about letting you know where an item is shipping from. If it ships from China, that's a bad sign.

Frequently Asked Bootleg Questions:

1. Is AliExpress a good website to buy from?

• No, stay away from AliExpress. As far as figures are concerned, they only sell bootlegs.

2. How about Wish? And Mercari?

• Wish appears to be nearly as bad as AliExpress in terms of bootleg frequency. User reports from Mercari depict a wide range of scenarios, with good sellers mixed in with people egregiously marking up their merchandise and more than a few bootlegs. Use with caution.

3. Is Amazon.com a good source for figures?

• The increased use of the practice of commingling inventory has led to an increase in the amount of counterfeit merchandise appearing on Amazon. This increases the possibility of receiving a bootleg from them even if the seller appears to be otherwise trustworthy (even for "shipped and sold by Amazon.com"), and should be considered a reason to avoid them if possible. If one does choose to buy figures on Amazon, particularly with third-party sellers, apply the same criteria for price, seller photos, and deceptive descriptions as one would for a seller anywhere else, though the commingling issue will remain unless the item's path to the buyer is specified. Amazon listings may copy images and descriptive text from other sites. Be particularly careful to check that the company in the "Brand" line matches the item's official producer, and watch for questionable text as mentioned above.

4. My Nintendo nendoroid/Figma has a white, square sticker, rather then the shiny oval one that can be found in the official pictures on MFC. Does that mean I have a bootleg?

• No, the square sticker is also legitimate.

A Related Topic:

• People often ask about the legitimacy and/or safety of a number of websites which sell large resin statues. The more commonly-asked of those deal primarily in resins from studios which do not have a license from the Japanese IP holders to produce merchandise. Therefore links to those sites are not permitted here. Another indicator is if MyFigureCollection doesn't list the either the statue, its manufacturer, or the shop it's being sold on. While MFC does not list every legitimate item for various reasons, it does reject unlicensed ones. __________________________

Past Bootleg Megathreads can be found here, for reference only. Please be sure to only post in the current one.
Thanks TychoRC for creating this guide and helping answer questions!

A few questions for you all. Adhd medicines are about the last thing I have left to try as everything else out there has not worked. I toe the line between adhd and not and so I have never bothered paying the money to get tested because I am able to manage on the day to day okay enough.
However, I just had an appointment with my doctor and I brought up this medication, listed off the research I did, what other insomnia people's experiences are, why I think it would be beneficial for me, reasons I wanted to try it, scholarly articles I read, etc.
She told me to my face that "You do not have adhd and getting tested is pointless. You just have anxiety and I refuse to prescribe this as it has never been given for sleep before." (it was a little more rude on her end but I am simplifying it here. [I will no longer be using this doctor and am currently looking for a new one as some other things happened during this appointment that was my last straw])
I want to start out with my new doctor with the same intentions on being tested for ADHD to see if I would qualify to be prescribed these medications to try. I honestly think they would be life changing for me, not only just for sleep.
What are your experiences? How did your prescribing go? Do you still take this medicine? Do you take any other medicines as well for sleep? What time of day do you take it? Does food interact? How did you qualify for prescription? Do you have any side effects? How has it compared to other medication you have taken? How long have you been taking it? Has your tolerance changed? Do you still experience insomnia? Did the medications make it worse?
I want to make sure I go into this appointment not only armed with clinical research but personal experiences and testimony as well

to start lets call this guy Joshua. We are in a snowboarding club together, and met this past december. The club goes on trips ski/boarding 5 times in a semester, and people get pretty close from this. We both are 2nd year college students. The club is also very very much degens. He's a huge stoner who lives with his childhood best friends. They're all really close.
I am new to the club this year, and we had met a few times but we were not really close or spoke much. He lives in the same complex as me at college, and i started seeing Joshua on the bus line.
Josh is a pretty friendly guy, but always really surface level. He seems on the shyer side, close with his friends but he doesnt talk much to girls. He's known for being pretty closed off.
Our ski season ends around the end of February. Him and his roommates put it out in the neighborhood club group chat to come hangout and play some drinking games. My roommate went with me, she's also in club. After the night playing games, she turned to me and was like "josh def is interested in you" and I had also started to notice how cute he was that night. So the combination resulted in a little more interest than just noticing how cute he was
I'm in a sorority, so i asked him to a date party a week later. he seemed hesitant to go, but I reassured him it wasn't a big deal, and I could ask someone else, if it didnt work out. He went with me to the party, and was a really fun date. We both were drinking, and when we got home, he asked me straight up "do you like me?" I told him that prior to this week no. and that it hadn't been more than a friendly date, and i was a little interested but he could turn me down right then. He agreed that he hadn't been interested in more than friends but that night had sparked an interest. He told me he liked me, somehow that night spiraled into games at his apartment with our friends, and we were walking around the neighborhood aimlessly, chatting away til 3 am. He told me his fear of relationships, and taking things further than friends. That he'd never been ina serious relationship. maybe just friends with benefits at the furthest, with a girl he'd been friends with since childhood.
He asked what I was looking for, and I told him, the idea of friends with benefits scared me, because you have one foot in, one foot out, and someone is always going to walk away hurt. "So you're looking for a boyfriend." again he always seemed to catch me off guard. I told him eventually, but we don't know each other well enough to pursue anything serious, so let's just get to know each other.
We made plans, and the next two weeks were filled with group hangouts that had serious eye contact, and being inseperable. Our friends caught on. But it seemed pretty friendly. til our big camping event. I wanted to ask him to formals, he had DDed me while he was sick, and studied with me when he didn't have any work to do, we'd spent a lot of time together, and he seemed really interested. we were both drinking yet again, and I asked him to formals and he told me "IDK if i want a relationship yet, but I really like you. "
he voiced to me his big fear was FOMO from his close friend group.
that night we were cuddled up by the fire, wandering around together, things were really good. He came back to my tent and we kissed a while too, stayed up all night, and watched the sunrise. I told him if it was a one time/hookup situation he was looking for, to leave me alone. Instead he offered to come over and hangout with me and the cat that night, he kissed me again, and we had two more days of hanging out with friends, and him coming over after to spend time with me and watch our show.
It felt like he was really opening up to me a few days before formals, but as he would open up more, he would also start to pull away physically. No more kissing, just cuddling, and he seemed very nervous. He voiced his fear of FOMO again, saying that we'd spent a lot of time together and he still wanted to see his friends
Formals came around and the night before he noted that he didnt know the time/date until just then. he still wanted to go, but the actual formal rolled around and his roommates had friends over and when he showed up at my door he wasnt in the best of moods.
We had a really great night after that though, pregame was a lot of fun, he held my hand throughout the night and we even danced a little.
He was attentive, and when i had been in the bathroom too long he was looking for me instead of just sitting with our mutual friends.
That night though, once we got home, the plan had been to change, and then head over to our friends but we sat down and realized we were pretty drunk
I was tired, and he wanted to leave to see our friends. I started to hammer him with questions, which in retrospective might be what scared him away. I asked if he saw a future with me, if he liked me enough to date me, if he wanted more from me, if he saw anything next semester.
I saw him get nervous and shifty, and he started to blurt out answers, NO, I dont see this, I dont like you enough, and then he took his sweatshirt back, and was like
I guess i shouldnt come over anymore...
I still like you though, im sorry. Im sorry. im sorry.
and when he left left he hugged me apologized again, and then said he really enjoyed my friendship outside of whatever this was as well.
The next night we had a ski club event. ( i know it sounds like all we do is party and drink but my grades were fine).
The original plan was a pregame with my friends and a walk over, but his Josh's roommate had another pregame in the same neighborhood.
So we met up there. But we weren't really speaking. once i had enough liquid courage and he had already approached my little group I soloed him out later and told him... I feel like I was really just blurting things out last night. Im sorry, I don't really know what I want. do you?
He couldnt meet my eyes and he just said Nothing I want nothing lets just have a good summer apart.
30 minutes later, in public, about 15/20 feet away from him I got my ass grabbed by a once trusted friend, who had been way too friendly all day. Josh didn't see anything he says because it was hard to watch me talk to this person.
Another 30 minutes later after a few more drinks in an attempt to erase what had happened and I was sobbing my eyes out, unable to tell anyone what had happened. My friends were all trying to check in, but i just sat on the couch with tears streaming down my cheeks. Fireworks were going off outside, and the cops were called by the neighbors.
Josh ran in, grabbed me and pulled me outside, he gave me his jacket and he my roommate, and our friend walked to another street to find a ride home. I wanted to lay down and cry, and he propped me up instead, and tried to comfort me.
Once he got home he basically ran to another friends house, and said hed come over after to talk, (i fell asleep before he made it back but he did try).
Sunday he came over to help clean, and we cleaned in silence. The situation at the event where I got SAed, has been something Josh has a really hard time talking about, he just gets really quiet, says oh im sorry, its just such an awkward situation and never comments more on it. I really wish he'd be more angry for me. His best friends are?
For the next two weeks, he would invite me over to hangout with his friends, never just alone, but there were a few instances where we were alone. One night I was out with some girls in his friend group walking from my house back to his, and he started to text me asking where I was going, and what was I up to. the girls boyfriends came out too, but he brought me an umbrella and pulled me in and just laughed at us having our pow wow in the rain.
Finals week we both had almsot no work and were floating about, I ended up going over there a ton. Some was by invite, and some was a little bit of inviting myself, but that's how the friendgroup is usually??
He offered to let me keep boxes in his room for the summer because I don't have a renewed lease, and when I came over a few times he played two songs that briefly in passing, I had mentioned I'd loved the songs. (i wouldnt consider them easy songs)
Before he left for the summer he came over to my house helped carry a few things out to the car, and a hug goodbye *note my roommate also a good friend of his did not get the same treatment*.
He told me that he hoped we'd see each other over the summer....
His girl friends have told me, he was really really hurt last year by a girl who he'd been really into, and dated for a week before she broke things off. They said they hadn't seen him bring girls over since, and all his other friends felt like he was fumbling.
My question is it worth pursuing further? I know i'll just push him away by continuing this chase, but do we think that things will spark up ever again?
I really think Josh does care about me, and we had a great time, but he isn't texting me much anymore, if at all... I'm going to be in his hometown this weekend but I dont plan on letting him know/ seeing him.
What can i do at this point. I feel like he's said everything he needs to, he knows that I want more than what he's offering and I feel like I'm driving myself crazy. I really do think that we could be just friends, but I also feel like he has a soft spot for me and I don't want to miss out on something great just because I didnt give him time to get over his fears.

Hello everyone, I don't peruse Reddit often but I am in need of some help related to a gecko.
For context, I'm a fairly experienced reptile keeper and have been for years, be it captive breds or rescuing wildlife that wouldn't survive without assistance. Earlier this year, I went on vacation with some relatives down in Texas, and while there I found an invasive species. To be more specific, a Mediterranean House Gecko. Normally I would have let him be but my relative's neighbors immediately wanted to kill it and even tried to take him in the cup I caught him with. According to the laws in Texas regarding invasive species, as far as I read, you have two options. Either you kill them or you keep them, and as the specimen I caught was a juvenile, I felt like keeping him and taking him home.
Fast forward and the gecko is living with me back at home in Idaho, he has a name and had an enclosure and everything. I was regularly feeding him, checking on him, everything I could to make sure he had a happy life. Then about two and a half weeks ago, I go to check his enclosure and see the gecko is gone. Vanished without a trace. I checked every single surface in my room, and nothing. I originally assumed he must have somehow squeezed through one of the corners in the mesh lid and left through my window, but then a week later when I come home from work, the little guy was sitting on top of his old enclosure, looking at me like "hey, miss me?" I was trying to be patient and get him inside his enclosure slowly and carefully, but suddenly the guy jumped off and landed on the enclosure of another one of my geckos, ran behind it and disappeared.
I've been doing everything I can to try and lure him out. I found a really old post on this subreddit talking about clothing piles and them being attracted to them. No dice. I found a Wikipedia article saying that people catch them in their native range in Europe by cutting small holes in boxes and putting warm, moist sphagnum moss inside in dark corners. Again, no dice. I know he's still alive and inside because I'll see a glimpse of him before he runs behind something and disappears, or like last night, when I opened my door, I heard him running across the back my dresser and caught a feint glimpse of his tail before he somehow disappeared again. I even recently deep cleaned my entire room and made it open enough to where there should be nowhere for him to hide that I cannot get to. Yet somehow, he still manages to hide somewhere, a place where he must have some heat, moisture, and some form of food source keeping him alive after this long.
Does anyone have any experience with geckos similar to these and how to lure them out or find them? I don't want him to get crushed or killed one day because I can't see wherever he hides, and then stumble across his dead body. I spent a lot of time, money and effort trying to give him a safe and spacious home with everything he could want, and I recently got a new enclosure with a locking lid that has no gaps that he can fit through.
How can I find my little gecko and give him a safe home again? Last time I saw him he also apparently lost his tail and I'm worried for his health. Any advice or help is appreciated. Thanks.

I’ve been wondering how Jonahs body hopping process works, I’m guessing the eyes store his consciousness, but that begs the question of how does he actually do the body hopping process, is it kind of like the not!them where he just approaches the new host and takes them over? Does he has to physically kidnap the new host and put the eyes in himself? Or does he like call upon the eye to do it? I know they describe it in 193, but that doesn’t give a clear picture, as Elias doesn’t really know whats going on in the vision either, Also I think it would have been really cool to hear James Wrights actually voice, or to hear from Elias before the body hopping process

I (17F) asked my then girlfriend (17F) to prom about a month ago. She said yes, and everything was going good after that.
Last weekend on Friday night, I went to a concert. Now, I’m typically not the type to enjoy big gatherings/big crowds and many of my friends know this about me. But the night after the concert was prom. While I was at the concert I thought I’d be fine to go to prom the next day.
For context, I’m diagnosed with autism as well as panic disorder, and I frequently get overwhelmed/have anticipation anxiety for big events, like prom. The next morning I woke up feeling really overwhelmed. I cried in my bed for an hour, wondering how to tell my prom date I probably wouldn’t be able to make it for long at prom.
I texted her saying that I’m really sorry and I’m just so mentally exhausted and drained from the concert and I wouldn’t be able to make it that long at prom. She responds by saying, “I’m confused bc you asked me to prom”. I guess she took this as me not wanting to take her.
We got into a fight and I ended up heading to my friend’s house to meet up before prom as that was the plan. When she got there, it was really awkward. She was holding a corsage (I was wearing a suit) and I was holding a corsage as well. She was wearing a corsage but I told her not to get one. Anyway, that’s beside the point.
After about an hour at prom I left and we made up so she gave me a hug. I thought everything was fine and maybe she came to understand. The next day she texted me and asked to talk, and I thought that made sense. So she talked to me and basically blamed me for everything wrong that happened in our relationship, that I changed my mind last minute on prom, and essentially ruined her prom.
I explained myself and how my mental health was affecting it but she didn’t seem to understand. I broke things off after that. I’m wondering if this really was all my fault, or if I’m overthinking it? Should I have gone about it differently?

Hello everyone,
I need some advice on whether to contact the Dean about my academic situation and whether further action is warranted.
At my institution, our program requires an average of 76.5% across four exams. I passed the first three with 78%, 80%, and 86%, respectively. However, I scored poorly on the final exam, resulting in an overall grade of 75.11%, causing me to fail the course. According to our college policy, only exam scores count towards the final grade.
While I accept this policy, I'm facing issues with reviewing my final exam. Our school's policy limits exam reviews to discussing "general themes" and avoids specific questions or detailed grading to protect the integrity of the exams. This lack of detailed feedback, especially given my near-passing grade, makes me question the fairness of the grading.
Here is more detail on their policy:

Review Format and Content: During the review, instructors may discuss general themes or areas where many students struggled, but specific exam questions or grading are not discussed in detail to maintain exam integrity.

To me, this seems highly unfair, especially considering how close I am to passing the course. Not allowing me to see how any of my exams were graded, and if they were graded fairly makes me highly suspicious of the outcome. The professor will not even tell me what exactly I got wrong. How can I know if this was graded appropriately? Am I supposed to just trust them, and hope for the best? Especially in a scenario like this where I am so close to passing? I feel like this goes against some law, so I asked chat GPT about FERPA this is the response I got:

As of my last update, there is no specific federal law that makes it illegal to prevent students from reviewing specific questions and answers of an exam in an educational setting. Educational institutions generally have the discretion to create and enforce their own policies regarding exam reviews, as long as they comply with broader educational standards and regulations such as the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA).
FERPA primarily ensures the privacy of student education records, but it does not mandate that institutions must allow detailed exam reviews. However, it does give students the right to access their educational records, which can include exam papers, under certain conditions and formats determined by the institution.
Colleges and universities often set their own policies regarding the review of graded exams to protect the integrity of the exam content and to prevent the potential compromise of future exam administrations. These policies can include restrictions on the detail of reviews or the environment in which they are conducted (e.g., supervised settings). Institutions are expected to communicate these policies clearly to students

Another issue is that the program I am part of decided to put two very difficult final exams on one day. Fine, I said. I would study and handle that and it didn't go well for me.
During the final exam meeting I requested with the professor I brought up the fact that having 2 exams on one day most likely effected my performance and they told me: "That I verbally said that some students can move their exam date. However there was limited slots." This shocked me. I record my classes, and I have a 95% attendance rating and I never recalled hearing that. Its possible they mentioned it when I was at the bathroom, or if I was late to class one day, but I do not recall that ever happening.
My issue with this is that, why are some students allowed to take the final on a separate day, but not others? How could there be limited slots? That to me feels like preferential treatment, since this could potentially allow some students in class an extra day of study. That extra day of studying is pass or fail to me now. Also, who makes the final decision on who can take what exam on what day now?
After I mentioned I never heard of this "move exam date" treatment, they said something of the like: "I am not building a wall between us."
What do you mean? I have emails that I sent to the professor asking for help about exam preparation that they never responded to. It happened on multiple occasions when I required help I was ignored, and now I learned that some students were given an extra day to study and the professor will not budge on letting me review my exam.
I admit, I had a bad exam day. But to have 1 test determine my pass or fail of an entire course after putting in hours (and I do mean HOURS, as in ~4 hours a day), of study and work feels wrong. Especially given how close to passing I am.
Overall, they wont let me review my final exam or any exam AT ALL after the fact. Won't let me find a way to pass even though I am 1.4% away. Apparently, gave other students possibly an extra day to study, without notifying all students via Canvas or Email that moving the exam day was an option. Which also feels unfair to all the students that had to take the 2 exams in one day.
Should I contact the Dean and my Professor's boss about this? I feel like I have been treated pretty unfairly. Or am I just overreacting?
Should I just retake the class? Keep in mind, I am only allowed a limited amount of failures here. I know in my heart I am ready for the next class, and this one bad exam shouldn't make or break a whole course for me.
I also don't want to be a problem student, but being so close to passing really bothers me.

My dream was crushed because I have a family and full-time job – now I’m struggling, what advice do you have?
Ever since I (40m) was a teenager, my brother (deceased) and I had a love for vocals and singing. Our particularly favorite genre was rock and metal. I’ve taken this love to various karaoke events throughout my life and even some live karaoke with wonderful feedback. I always knew I was at least halfway decent, but never thought I was great. With no time to receive vocal coaching or learning specifics, I, like most just continued through life singing in the car to my heart’s content.
I could always see myself on stage belting out lyrics, having a crowd sing with me on stage. Always daydreaming while at a concert that band that I was there to see would take me on stage to join them in my favorite song. Real cringy stuff, but that’s what I wanted, to make music and share my love of music with anyone who would listen.
Fast forward through a career in the military, post-retirement and with a pretty cush government job I now have a handful of kids and a second wife who I love dearly. About a month ago, I was scrolling through facebook and saw that a local band was looking for a new lead singer. So, I figured, “What the hell, I’ll give it a shot.” I nailed the audition, and they were very happy with my capability to scream, sing and write lyrics. My dream was starting to take shape.
There was so much excitement in my friend and family circle, especially those who knew of my love for music. This however did not sit well with my spouse (36F); she’d been subjected to play SAHM and deployed spouse during deployments and was not keen on losing her husband again.
So, we discussed the amount of practice time I could put into the band, but NOT how many shows/events/concerts/festivals I could do. Neither of us set expectations for that because that wasn’t a rational thought of what could happen in such a short amount of time. In exchange, I guaranteed her two date nights a month.
Boy, were we wrong. Within a month we were booked for 7 shows, four of them festivals all throughout our state and I had about 3 months to learn 4 songs and write lyrics to the self-titled song. F*&$! The 7 shows over 3 months was too much though. My wife felt like she was losing me to the band and she felt like she was being taken out of the decision-making process and pumped the brakes immediately – after a lot of tears and a little fighting, we settled on one show a month. Ouch, that hurt their relationship with the promoter a bit, but was pretty easy to blame it on the FNG, me.
Not but two days later I ask about throwing in money for merch and to buy gear we can afford. This caused another fight, but little did I know, this wasn’t about money, no. This was about the band getting serious and me being good enough. I felt this was her being scared of success and what that success might bring and how much time away from the family this might cause. This was her assuming that I wouldn’t be strong enough to hit the brakes myself on more shows or that we wouldn’t be able to discuss or communicate. I think she was afraid of the potential change and assumed that based on how fast things were progressing, that she may lose me.
So, I offered a solution.
I Quit the band.
But now she “doesn’t want me to resent her” or “be the reason” I quit. (a little late). So, I offer a new alternative. I help the band find a new singer but play the summer shows. She’s good with that. Until she isn’t. I get the “if that’s what you want to do” response. No, that isn’t what I want to do. It isn’t what she wants either, but my hands a tied! I let the lead band mate know the plan and he’s pissed, tries to convince me that it’s ok, that we can manage; that he’s so grateful to have me be part of the band. That they went through so many other leads, and he doesn’t want to do it again. He is unaccepting that this was the choice made.
So, I get home and then she tells me that its going to be harder to walk away after playing a few shows with them and thinks I should not play any of the summer shows. “Still my choice tho”. I say, “I guess we’ll see.” That was the wrong answer. Because from that conversation, we devolved into one of the only three fights we had in the last 6 years. She cried, I cried and now it’s the next day and I think I’m supposed to cut ties with the band, but I’m not sure how to do it.
I’ve blocked all their numbers and “unfriended” all of them. They can still reach me, but only one way. They don’t know where I live. WTF do I do now? I’m fricken sad. My dream/midlife crisis is over just as fast as it started and these bros that took a shot on me now must pick up a new lead one flippin month.
What about all the support from my friends and family? Eventually the questions is going to be asked. What happened? I thought you were in a band? Yeah, dawg. They weren’t a good fit, so I had to leave.
Someone help me understand from her perspective. How does so much stress, anxiety and fear build up from something neither of us have experienced before? Is this a trauma response from past relationships? How is someone’s heads able to go to the worst possible scenario and believe it will happen if actions aren’t taken the way they think it should.
Update: (I wrote this about a month ago) I quit the band and only talk to one of them now. I think I had my mid life crisis and apologized to everyone I involved In My fantasy.
That’s all I got. Deleting this account and post soon. If you made it this far, I really appreciate you reading and providing feedback, even if its to say I’m being a dumbass.

March 26th, 2024 11:27 p.m. – I think I've done it. I've made a breakthrough on the antisera. With a simple, two amino acid change in the protein, the antisera binds more effectively to the brains neuroreceptors. With an electrolyte injection, I can reactivate neurons in the brains of diseased rodents. I believe that it can work on human specimens up to 3 days old. If this works, then I will have found a way to effectively bring patients back from beyond the point of death. I cannot overstate the importance of this discovery. All I need is a cadaver that’s fresh enough to experiment with. The three-day threshold will pose a unique challenge in acquiring a specimen. It will require further thought before I am to go ahead.
March 29th, 2024 1:18 p.m. – I have spoken with the hospital and the Department of Anatomy and have found a family who are scheduled to take a loved one of theirs off critical care tomorrow afternoon. They have agreed to send him to my lab following a short grieving ceremony. I have their written approval, though I have made no guarantee of my success. I don't want to give them too much hope. Particularly the patient’s fiancé, who the patient had been on route to the chapel to wed, when his car was struck by an oncoming SUV that had missed a red light. I'm worried that she more than anyone doesn't realize how much of a long shot this is. But I'll do my best.
March 30th, 2024 8:12 p.m. – The body has arrived. I have him right here, laid out on my bench. He’s a young man, 24 years of age. He is 6’ 1” and weighs 174 pounds. Aside from some exposed tissue above his right eye, and a fracture along the parietal skull, the head remains entirely intact. There is concern that any intracranial bleeding may interfere with the electrolyte solution. I don’t expect the antisera to revive him completely, but as long as there is some measure of brain activity now, six hours after he was pronounced dead, then I think this test can still be labelled a success.
March 30th, 2024 8:36 p.m. – I have administered 20mg of the antisera, and after a twenty-minute wait, have just administered an equal dose of the electrolyte solution. I noticed an immediate spike in brain activity in his parietal lobe. There was no movement from the patient, but after five minutes, I noticed a faint flutter in his eyelids. Talking in his ear shows a proportionate response in the auditory cortex. The brain is capable of taking in external input.
March 30th, 2024 9:00 p.m. – His eyes are open. At the present, they're only looking forward. He hasn’t yet glanced to look around the room, but his eyes are piercing in their focus, as if he’s processing more than just his initial surroundings. His pupils are an opaque white… what may be due to cataracts from damage to his ocular nerve from the incident.
March 30th, 2024, 9:08 p.m. – There’s movement. His fingers have started to jitter. They're feeling the cuffs of his coat. He still has on the black tuxedo he had wore to his wedding day. His head occasionally spasms, as though just now regaining feeling. Heartrate is 33 beats per minute. His hands have begun moving more noticeably up and down the sides of his body. He’s feeling his buttons, the flower of his lapel, and now the titanium top of the bench. It’s really quite remarkable. I’ve not detected even a flicker of movement in his moth-eaten eyes. He has not blinked since awakening.
March 30th, 2024, 9:12 p.m. He’s trying to stand. There are straps in place, but they're only loosely attached. They snap off with disappointing ease. Perhaps I should've been more optimistic and sprung for the thicker straps. There is a noise that he’s making... a low groaning, as though he is in pain or incapable of making more complex a sound.
March 30th, 2024, 9:14 p.m. I’ve tried speaking with him. I called him by his name. He doesn't respond. He’s now seated on the edge of the table. He’s breathing heavily, his chest noticeably rising and falling. A reflex test shows no response at all.
March 30th, 2024, 9:18 p.m. I’ve tried introducing myself. There’s no sign that he understands. He is still. I don’t know if he’s listening or if he’s even aware, but I think the sound of another person is at least calming for him.
March 30th, 2024, 10:25 p.m. Little has happened. The groom is much the same as he was an hour ago. I’ve taken photos of everything that I’ve observed tonight, but when I left the room to get the camera, I returned to find him standing in the corner of the room. At times, he'll stagger forward a step or two, or slouch against the wall. Always his head is down, his open mouth dripping drool on the floor while he stares ahead as if in a trance. I want to observe him for the night to see how he progresses. I am now seated at the desk in my office, which has a view of the lab from a large window. For the time being I will start recording my findings, but I will look often in case anything of interest happens.
March 30th 2024, 11:06 p.m. I am alerted by a loud crash. The patient has stumbled into a small table with scalpels, knocking them onto the linoleum floor with a clatter. His groaning now is louder now than before. I can hear it as clear as day through my window. It’s a deeply labored noise, creaking with every syllable as though his throat is severely dry.
March 30th, 11: 44 p.m. After completing my preliminary reports, I tried speaking with the patient, hoping that perhaps he could understand me. I explained the situation as simply as I could. I mentioned his wedding, the accident, and the agreement with his family. I went into detail about his operation. His pale eyes were watching me throughout, but there is no sign of any understanding in them. Still, at least he’s attentive. I might be naive for trying, but there's always a chance that he could be understand more than he seems.
March 31st, 12:01 a.m. There is a wailing from inside the room. A horrible, hair-raising cry that has me standing upright from my monitor the sound that I hear it. The noise persists, as if all he wants to hear is the sound of his own misery. He is moving erratically, lurching through the lab. He's knocked over the fire extinguisher, and, just now, the hospital gurney as well. There is no emotion in his face as he makes the most pitiful noises imaginable. I hope that I am not letting my own feelings cloud my judgment when I say that it sounds as though he is feeling a profound sorrow. His limbs flap loosely beside him, as though he still lacks the motor function to control them.
March 31st, 12:10 a.m. The groaning hasn't stopped. Any request for him to quiet down goes unheard. I’m reminded of a child feeling grief for the first time and not knowing what else to do with it than to cry as deeply as they can. Out of a grown man, the noise becomes chilling. It's much deeper and gruffer, like the cry of a wounded animal.
March 31st, 12:22 a.m. I have something I want to try. I've called his fiancé. She had expressed a great deal of interest in the success of the experiment when I met with her at the hospital, and when I explained on the phone to her what had happened to her fiancé, she agreed that she, more than anyone, could get through to him. I’ve called her a taxi and am waiting now on her arrival. It has been twenty minutes since the groom started to wail and he's still going. He stumbles into the wall from time to time and I am worried that he will only act more unpredictably as the drug continues to work.
March 31st, 12:35 a.m. The widow's taxi has arrived. I escorted her down to the laboratory. Behind the safety of the window, she is now looking at her husband for the first time since his recovery. She is noticeably shocked by his appearance. She looks like she might faint from the sight of him, but I can see also a hopefulness in her eyes that keeps her rooted in place. She sees as well as I do that he’s a great deal closer to what he was now than when he was lying unconscious on the hospital bed. She agrees to help when I ask her, though she only nods her response. Her eyes haven’t left her fiancés since the moment she's arrived.
March 31st, 12:41 a.m. We called to him, and the groom responded. He shambled up to the glass to where his bride was standing. He had stopped wailing. I watched his cataracts-riddled eyes stare at her with a dead, unwavering look. I’m not sure what’ was in them or what the man was thinking as he looked at the love of his life. But the response in the bride was profound. She was speechless, her hand trembling as she placed her fingers against the glass. The groom appeared not to have noticed the hand, his stare as focused as ever as he gazed intently into her eyes.
March 31st, 12:43 a.m. The bride has asked if she can go inside. I warned her against it, and when she insisted again, I raised my voice to make the point all the more clear. Whatever she saw in the dead man’s eyes was not her husband looking back. I think she’s blinded herself with nostalgia. The fact that she sees something of the old him in his eyes is just because she wanted there to be something of the old him still there. But when I look into those moth-eaten eyes, I see just the unaware, unresponsive look of an animal looking back at me. But she was adamant, and though I tried to hold her back, she still managed to force her way past me. She opened the door before I could stop her, and I watched in horror as she stepped out into the laboratory.
The groom had turned to face her. A low, raspy groan creaked from him. The two stood a meter apart, both looking into each other’s eyes. There was a bottle of sedative on my shelf. In this time, I took it, and drew a needle with one eye as I watched with the other at what was transpiring outside.
She took a step closer. She was practically standing beneath him. His breaths I noticed were ragged, panting into her forehead like a large dog. Pale, clammy fingers wrapped around her arms, and he drew her in. It was the first time I’ve seen him use his hands with any amount of purpose.
She didn’t struggle at first, and I could see that he was panting more heavily now, as though with excitement. She looked up at him, and him, down at her. His mouth hung slacked, occasionally stuttering or dripping droplets of saliva on her shoulder. But she didn’t seem to mind. Her eyes were half open, and she raised her head a bit to nuzzle his cheek with her nose. I could see that the groom had become still as he took in this newest sensation.
And then, with a noticeable breath, the bride pulled his head down and put his lips to hers. The groom’s groaning returned, but it was quieter and a higher pitch, more of a sing-song kind of noise. He pushed his lips against hers. His jaw slacked and his mouth poured over her mouth. I could see the shift from romance to disgust as she tried to push him off her. It was then that I heard the scream. It was muffled by the groom’s mouth over hers, and I could see that blood was starting to stream from her cheeks. His entire weight collapsed upon her, and the two crumbled to the floor as I bolted for the door. When I got in, I saw her flailing on the ground with the groom still at her face, a horrible slobbering sound slipping out from beneath the hysteric screams.
I plunged my syringe into his shoulder blade and administered the sedative. He hardly noticed. I waited a minute and then two for the effects to take hold, and all the while I had no choice but to listen to the shrieks of the woman, with not a thing I could do to help in the meantime.
March 31th, 12:58 a.m. The drug has finally taken effect, but the woman shows no signs of life. It wasn’t my first thought, but I fear for my research and the possibility of a civil lawsuit. Tomorrow morning I’ll tell the family that the experiment was a failure and ask if I can keep the groom’s body a little while longer in hopes that I can one day revive him. I think they are still hopeful enough to say yes. I will say nothing of the bride or the arrangement that we had made for her to come here tonight.
April 8th, 6:31 p.m. It’s been a week since the horrible events of March the 30th. The groom appears pleased with the latest results. I’m happy that he’s finally done with his infernal moaning. The bride is conscious and seems to have taken warmly to him. It’s a shame I couldn’t do something more about the face, but at least it doesn’t seem to bother them.

Coming out is undoubtedly a terrifying prospect, especially when you know you're probably going to have to explain wtf it is you're coming out as before you see any results. But you know what helps boost your confidence when you're feeling scared? A weapon.
...Well, emotional support too. But we can't be there for each other in the moment. However, we can give out swords and tell people to do everything they can to come home in one piece. And then give them cake when they report back in.
So, to help boost the confidence of any asexuals who need or want to come out, I thought it'd be fun for us to help arm these asexuals against any aphobia they might face while coming out.
Hit me with your best retorts to common -- and not so common -- aphobic remarks! Doesn't matter if you've tried them out or not; no retort is universally effective, so having a wide arsenal of them is the best defense.
Disclaimer: The primary goal here is to boost people's confidence in themselves before coming out. When in dangerous territory, it can feel safer to have a knife in your pocket even if you never intend to use it. But if you want acceptance, in most cases, it's best to maintain the higher ground rather than sink to an aphobe's level of aggression, just in case you can win them over. So if you can use these retorts cordially, please try to do that first. If it's clearly a lost cause though, you do whatever feels right; it's you coming out, so you call the shots!
Now that that's out of the way, I'll list some of mine first (some of these are probably a bit dark, sorry lol):

"How can you be sure you're asexual if you've never had sex?"

• (If you know they're straight/gay) "How can you be sure you're straight/gay if you've never had sex with [gender they're not attracted to]?"
• (If you know they're bi and a virgin, or have only had sex with one gender) "How did you figure out you're bi if sex has to be involved?"
• "Have you tried fucking a cactus/corpse/baby? No? Then how do you know you're not a masochist/necrophile/paedophile?"
• "Have you ever tried watersports? Scat? CBT? No? Best try it then, otherwise you're a piss-fetishist by default."
• "Do you find your mother attractive?" (If they say no:) "Did you fuck her to check?" (If they said yes:) "Yeah, I'm not interested in being questioned by someone who admits they fucked their mum." (If they insist they haven't fucked their mum and to not put words in their mouth:) "But if you can only be sure you're attracted to someone by fucking them, and you find your mother attractive, then surely that means you fucked her to find that out?"

"But you've had sex!"

• "Yeah, and I hated it."
• "And that only reinforced my opinion."
• "What, you think no lesbian in the history of lesbianism has tried fucking a man in the hopes they could be 'normal'?"
• (If you have a functional penis) "I'm asexual, not a eunuch. I have bits. They work. I can show you, if you like." (Dont add that last bit if there's any chance they might take you up on it!)
• "You're confusing me for celibate."

"You just haven't had good sex yet."

• "And I don't intend to!"
• "Nah, the sex was pretty good actually."
• "I don't need to eat shit to know it smells like shit."
• (If you know they're gay/straight) "And you just haven't had good sex with [gender they're not attracted to] yet."
• (Probably best against virgins) "Why do I need to have sex to know what I'm attracted to and you don't?"

"I can fix that. ;)"

• "I'm sure a few years in prison for sexual assault can fix you too! :)"
• *bring out the exaggerated bedroom eyes* "I can fix you harder... ;)" (Another one not to use if they might take you up on it!)
• (If you know their ex) "I have it on good authority you can't."
• "Could you fix your moral compass while you're at it?"
• "Why, is my car broken?" (or some other nearby object that could potentially break and is in their line of sight)
• "Why, what's broken?"

There have probably been posts like this before, but I'm sure someone's come up with something new since. Anyway, show us your moves, guys! I'm totally not compiling them for my own eventual use!

Hi all. Long-time BB sufferer here, having suffered for over 22 years (since 2002 at the age of 16 or 17). I am now turning 39 years old this later year.
Like many on here, I have explored countless routes to investigate the cause of my BB to try and cure it. I thought it came from my nose (post-nasal drip), my gut (acid reflux), allergies, and dry mouth. In the end, it was none of these things. Here are some things I had done while trying to cure my BB, based on what I thought were the causes:

• Sinuses/Allergies
  • Surgery: Nasal Polyp Removal
  • Surgery: Deviated Septum correction
  • Surgery: Nasal passage widening using balloon sinoplasty to widen nose and help breathe through nose
  • Nasal irrigation devices to wash sinus using baking soda/salt solution
  • Allergy Medications
  • Allergy Testing and Allergy Shots
• Gut
  • All Acid/PPI medications (omeprazole, pantaprozole, etc.)
  • Multiple stomach endoscopies
  • Silent Reflux (LPR) Test
  • Surgery: LINX implant - a titanium ring now permanently sits on my stomach/esophagus to prevent reflux.
  • Multiple H. Pylori Tests (negative of course)
• Dry Mouth
  • Tried dry mouth meds (salagen and evoxac)
  • Have spent thousands of dollars over the years on Dry Mouth lozenges from Biotene, ACT brand, etc.
  • Mouth covering tape to prevent mouth breathing
• Other Stuff
  • Antibiotics
  • Probiotic toothpaste
  • Essential oils
  • Chlorhexidine Mouthwash
  • Castille soap
  • Bleach and hydrogen peroxide
  • Several hundreds of dollars worth of oral probiotic lozenges found on Amazon
  • The list goes on. You name it, I've tried it.

Around last year, I came across an ad on social media for Bristle, for testing of the oral microbiome. The company said something that was really critical to my journey: that 90% of halitosis cases stem from the mouth and the oral microbiome. Because we BB sufferers are always so good with our oral hygeine regimens, it's natural for us to assume the cause is something else apart from the mouth, which is why we tend to investigate sinuses, gut issues, and so on. However, more likely than not, in over 9 out of 10 cases, it has to do with an imbalance of bacteria in the mouth.
I took the test, and discovered that I had really high levels of two or three halitosis-causing bacteria, that reside in the gum line: Fusobacterium Nucleatum, Prevotella Intermedia, and Tannerella Forsythia. In addition to this analysis, the Bristle team offered a treatment plan and recommended that I use SmartMouth Clinical Strength mouthwash for 2 weeks, and afterwards, repopulating with oral probiotics for several months, to try and change my oral microbiome over time. I tried using the SmartMouth mouthwash, and it helped somewhat for sure, but only temporarily. I knew that it was doing something, and ended up going off the deep end: spending hundreds of dollars more on SmartMouth mouthwash over the course of several months, because I became dependent on it to mask my BB enough for me to go out of the house.
After some further investigation, I came across a different oral microbiome test that was based out of Canada, called OraVital. Similar to Bristle, OraVital does a microbiome test via saliva, and comes back with results (which in my case, matched the same bacteria I had discovered in the Bristle test). However, additionally, they offer a 3 week antibiotic treatment plan (amoxicillin/metronidazole mouthwash and gum ointment), followed by chlorhexidine mouthwash. This was much stronger than what Bristle offered. I did the treatment, and it helped enormously when I was on it. However, sadly, the BB returned when I completed the antibiotic solutions. I was sad and defeated once again.
Next, I came across a third oral microbiome test, by a company called Viome, called the Oral Intelligence Test. This test does the saliva sample, but doesn't give you a list of the bacteria they find. However, they give you an oral probiotic lozenge that is supposed to be custom for you. I noticed the strength of the oral probiotic lozenge to be 30 billion CFU. This was a clue for me, because other probiotic lozenges that I came across online were only in the range of 3-6 billion CFU. The fact that this was 30 billion meant that more probiotic bacteria were needed to combat the problem.
I ended up taking the Viome oral probiotic lozenges for some time, but experienced only modest results. However, they did help somewhat with my morning breath when taken before bed. But the BB always came back.
Over the course of time, it dawned on me. This problem is more severe. It requires more effort to remove the bad bacteria, and more effort/strength to repopulate with good probiotic bacteria.
It was then that I had a revelation that made all the difference. Instead of relying on oral probiotic lozenges, with their relatively minimal strength, why not use extremely high doses? I resorted to trying probiotic powder instead of lozenges. The dosages in some of these powders was over 100 billion CFU per scoop.
The Bristle test indicated that the bad bacteria I have were sensitive to reuterin, which is produced by the probiotic L. Reuteri. I came across L. Reuteri powder on Amazon. Additionally, I came across L. Salivarius powder as well, which a probiotic that produces a compound called saliviricin that kills bad bacteria as well.

• L. Reuteri Powder: https://amzn.to/44LMcPx
• L. Salivarius Powder: https://amzn.to/3KnX64Z

I began taking these two powders in the mouth, mixed with a bit of water (only a little bit, so that they do not get diluted). I also use water because I feel like this helps the probiotics swish through the gum lines, which is where my bad bacteria resides. Within 1 week of doing this, multiple times a day, I noticed a massive improvement. I knew I was onto something, and something big. I continued to do this for a couple of weeks, and noticed my breath getting better and better over time. However, it was not completely eliminated. I figured it would just need to be something that I would use before I went out. However, I noticed the improvement to be getting progressively better after 3 weeks, and then 4.
One thing to note here is that, for the probiotic bacteria to have optimal effect, you need to clean your mouth and tongue before using them. I read in a scientific study that they found probiotics had a significantly higher benefit when used after tongue scraping/brushing. I use both a tongue brush and then a tongue scraper, before I do the probiotic rinse. I also do not eat or drink water for at least 30 min after rinsing.
Within weeks of doing this, I noticed the bad taste in my mouth was gone, when I tried to search for it. My perceived 'dry mouth' was gone, and my saliva flow had increased significantly. I always thought I had dry mouth, but I came across scientific articles online which suggested that the bad bacteria is what was actually causing that feeling. Bad bacteria change the pH of your mouth and cause that taste and feeling of dryness. They reduce salivary flow.
I was encouraged by the results, and I then started doing additional research. There were other healthy probiotic strains out there that were good for the oral microbiome and for combatting bad bacteria. One that I came across was Weissella Cibaria. This bacteria is naturally found in the mouth, and can colonize it. L. Reuteri and L. Salivarius, on the other hand, are just passing through the mouth and do not stay there. Therefore, they can help the oral microbiome by killing bad bacteria, but do not have a permanent residence there. If you don't have a solid presence of good bacteria in the mouth, the bad bacteria that is wiped out can grow back. This is what happens when we use antibiotics. Sure, they're able to kill off bad bacteria, but even the small remnants can multiply back rapidly if there are not enough good bacteria to outcompete it. To get Weissella Cibaria, I found an oral probiotic lozenge that has a patented form called OraCMU:

• Weissella Cibaria Lozenge: https://amzn.to/3UH6ULR

Additionally, Weissella Cibaria is also present in probiotic foods like Sauerkraut and Kimchi, but UNPASTEURIZED only (pasteurizing kills all beneficial bacteria). I switched my diet to high in soluble fiber and fermented foods on a DAILY basis. This includes apples, celery, carrots, sauerkraut, kimchi, and yogurt. I eat a big bowl of some of these foods mixed up, at least once a day, for lunch. I also incorporated fiber gummies to ensure I am getting the adequate amount of fiber the probiotics need to grow in the oral microbiome (they need a type of fiber called fructooligosaccharides to prosper and grow).
I have gotten really big into fermented foods. I am constantly on the hunt for fermented foods and will try to have them whenever and wherever I can, as much as I can. They're not the most appetizing, and can smell pretty bad, but they are working to permanently shift my oral microbiome over time. I even got a yogurt maker off Amazon and began making my OWN L. Reuteri yogurt using a starter culture, half and half, and fiber powder (inulin). This will help create a lasting effect to permanently alter my oral microbiome to prevent bad bacteria from ever coming back.
The role of probiotics in curing oral imbalance cannot be understated. I have read multiple studies relating to probiotic research regularly, which has only begun exploding in the scientific industry in recent years. This is a really exciting time. After years of very limited progress on fixing halitosis, it seems that probiotics is the solution to combating the issue. One thing to note is that it takes time to rearrange your oral microbiome. It didn't get this way overnight. Getting out of it is the same.
In addition to populating the mouth with good bacteria, it is EQUALLY important to keep up with a regimen to clear the mouth of the bad bacteria, which must be done regularly and in parallel with the probiotic regimen. Every morning and night, I do the following routine:

• Tongue brushing with a Tung brush or orabrush (and go as far back as you can go)
• Tongue scraping with a metal scraper (as far back as possible)
• Brushing with Nano-Hydroxyapatite toothpaste which is beneficial for oral pH, removing biofilms, and mineralizing teeth. Some brands I use are Carifree and Boka -- https://amzn.to/44NGRav
• Flossing. I use the REACH Floss Stick.
• Tongue Brushing/Scraping again.
• Probiotic routine. For mornings, I do the powder. For evenings, I just take a couple of lozenges. I take the Weissella one, and/or well a Viome one that I have leftover from my Viome subscription. I also take them randomly throughout the day.
• Occassionally, I will use the SmartMouth Clinicial version of mouthwash for a nice cleanse of bad bacteria. There is a regular version and a clinical version, the clinical one is much more effective -- https://amzn.to/3ULAvUE . It is important not to overdo this because it can disrupt the good bacteria as well in addition to the bad.

Also want to emphasize the absolute importance of going to the dentist for cleanings as many times as your insurance covers. For decades, I did not visit the dentist, going years on end without cleanings. These treatments are essential for breaking up biofilms and plaques of all the colonies of bad bacteria. If untreated over time, they become more resilient and grow rapidly. They build protective shells around their communities which allow them to grow rampant and overpower the good bacteria of the oral microbiome. It is critical to go, and have the calculus and plaque disrupted and removed. Even if you don't experience relief from one or two cleanings, it needs to be done. It is the progressive effect over time that will cure the condition. Removing bad bacteria overtime while populating with good bacteria -- a one-two punch.
And that's about it. That's where I'm at now, and I will continue doing this routine for the coming year, because I have seen in the past how resilient this bad bacteria is. My goal is to continue hammering it down with probiotics, and not just to wipe it to oblivion, but to build a healthy diverse microbiome of good bacteria that will prevent it from ever growing back and out of control again. I still experience halitophobia - the fear of bad breath and reactions - even though I don't experience any. My mouth is moist and sweet. My saliva is flowing. But the fear of a reaction is a psychological condition, because it is what I've known for 20+ years. I hope to be able to shake it off over time through many positive interactions.
Good luck to all and God Speed!