Hello all and thanks in advance for taking the time to read and provide any assistance or two cents you may provide.
I'll start off by saying I work for one of the largest companies in Australia, in a Melbourne location. One whom has a relatively consistent reputation for intentionally misleading its clients, mishandling private and confidential information, and often times providing no solution to any client whom has been effected by any wrong doing of them. I will add that within my company, I feel as if the same culture is reflected internally toward employees too.
I currently have an annual leave balance of 37 days. Today my line manager (let's call him Harrison) received a teams message from his line leader (let's call him Keith). Keith provided a screenshot of my annual leave balance and stated that it was not acceptable that I have such annual leave balance and my balance must be either at, or below 5 days at any given time. All of the other employees on my level have received the exact same correspondence regarding their annual leave. I will add- It is not, and has never been a term or condition (or even mentioned at the slightest) on any employment contract, internal document, or agreement by anyone in my position.
I have been directed that I must submit annual leave requests (dates at Keith's discretion) so that within 6 months time, I will hold no more than 5 days in my balance. I have been told, just after finding out of this strange demand today, that my deadline is at the end of the week (3 days from now). It has been STRONGLY recommended to everyone on the list that they use their annual leave to provide themselves with 3 day weekends for 6 months to minimise the impact to the business of having someone out of a desk for a long period at a time. They state that doing so will provide 'mini recharges' and 'mini energy boosts' through bus times of the year for our business to sustain productivity through the end of financial year period.
This absolutely does not reflect my personal goals or objectives as I do not need, nor want 3 day weekends for 'mini recharges'.
I have explained to my employer what they already know ( and surprisingly still sent this insensitive direction to me) that I currently have a very close family member overseas whom is about to pass away due to a terminal illness, which my family and I will need to visit before this occurs. The timeframe which we will do that is outside of this 6 month window, It is more like 6-12 months. The leave required for me to do this will be approximately 3 or 4 weeks, understandably to spend the last month of their life or so with a very close member of our family whom has been a part of our lives for 20+ years.
My company has already asked me to move to a different location whilst another employee deals with a family emergency because they could not find a candidate for it, I agreed to move to the other location for one month and was not provided any compensation for doing so. One month had passed and I had to ask my employer when I would be transferred back to my original home location. I was told "oh yeah they quit because they had some family issues and nobody wanted to move here and we couldn't hire anyone else because they were all rubbish, so you're staying here now". -all without signing any documents or any notification on my part. And for the cherry on top, my annual salary was cut $14,500. I only realised after 4 months, and upon asking Keith why this was, I was told "yes this location has less clients than your original home location, so the salary reflects that" - May I also add, my new location, because of me, is now sitting on the top of the leaderboards for the performance for all locations, and I am by far the hardest working and highest achieving in my role out of all of our locations- as shown in the company's own data. Though I am paid $14,500 less than before and even a whopping $24,000 per year less than my old colleague at my original location whom was in the same role as me with only 6 a month more tenure.
Further, I have explained to my employer that I am on the brink of experiencing financial hardship and cannot continue to have my paycheques issued with incorrect payments on them (which they frequently admit to making mistakes on), that I need to ensure my sick leave is processed correctly, that my annual leave is taken seriously etc. As well as that I, not only have a whole family, including children with early childhood education to pay for, though a car repayment, a mortgage and food and living expenses for us all. My employer does not seem to take this seriously and has currently spent a grand total of 9 months investigating a significant claim I have made regarding over $10,000 of underpayment to myself. The HR team whom has been tasked with reviewing it seems to disappear off the face of the earth and be uncontactable for 3 weeks at a time whenever they feel like it, and seem like reviewing HR cases is what they can do if they so feel like it, but that is kinda deviating from my issue at present though.
I feel like I am being wronged and violated at every stage of my employment an absolutely squeezed to work the life out of me with zero regard to even let me have my own annual leave balance that I have accumulated and have already told the company I will definitely use, just not within the next 6 months, and I have explained time and time again that forcing me to diminish my balance so low would put me at a 100% risk of significant financial hardship, such as not being able to make mortgage or car repayments, and my children attending school without lunch, and myself not being able to eat any proper and nutritious meals whatsoever. It seems to fall on deaf ears each time.
TLDR; I am being forced to purposely diminish my annual leave to an amount that would put me in significant financial hardship even though I have never signed or agreed to do such thing and this policy was made at the drop of a hat and my employer simply won't listen and doesn't care about my genuine reasons why I do not want to intentionally diminish my annual leave balance so low.
Of course I understand that no advice here provided replaces a face to face consultation with a legal advisor in this area, though am interested to receive insight and opinions from those in the field, with a legal background or those opinions of laypeople reading this.
Thank you all so much for your time and lots of blessings to all who provide insight!

Hello all and thanks in advance for taking the time to read and provide any assistance or two cents you may provide.
I'll start off by saying I work for one of the largest companies in Australia, in a Melbourne location. One whom has a relatively consistent reputation for intentionally misleading its clients, mishandling private and confidential information, and often times providing no solution to any client whom has been effected by any wrong doing of them. I will add that within my company, I feel as if the same culture is reflected internally toward employees too.
I currently have an annual leave balance of 37 days. Today my line manager (let's call him Harrison) received a teams message from his line leader (let's call him Keith). Keith provided a screenshot of my annual leave balance and stated that it was not acceptable that I have such annual leave balance and my balance must be either at, or below 5 days at any given time. All of the other employees on my level have received the exact same correspondence regarding their annual leave. I will add- It is not, and has never been a term or condition (or even mentioned at the slightest) on any employment contract, internal document, or agreement by anyone in my position.
I have been directed that I must submit annual leave requests (dates at Keith's discretion) so that within 6 months time, I will hold no more than 5 days in my balance. I have been told, just after finding out of this strange demand today, that my deadline is at the end of the week (3 days from now). It has been STRONGLY recommended to everyone on the list that they use their annual leave to provide themselves with 3 day weekends for 6 months to minimise the impact to the business of having someone out of a desk for a long period at a time. They state that doing so will provide 'mini recharges' and 'mini energy boosts' through bus times of the year for our business to sustain productivity through the end of financial year period.
This absolutely does not reflect my personal goals or objectives as I do not need, nor want 3 day weekends for 'mini recharges'.
I have explained to my employer what they already know ( and surprisingly still sent this insensitive direction to me) that I currently have a very close family member overseas whom is about to pass away due to a terminal illness, which my family and I will need to visit before this occurs. The timeframe which we will do that is outside of this 6 month window, It is more like 6-12 months. The leave required for me to do this will be approximately 3 or 4 weeks, understandably to spend the last month of their life or so with a very close member of our family whom has been a part of our lives for 20+ years.
My company has already asked me to move to a different location whilst another employee deals with a family emergency because they could not find a candidate for it, I agreed to move to the other location for one month and was not provided any compensation for doing so. One month had passed and I had to ask my employer when I would be transferred back to my original home location. I was told "oh yeah they quit because they had some family issues and nobody wanted to move here and we couldn't hire anyone else because they were all rubbish, so you're staying here now". -all without signing any documents or any notification on my part. And for the cherry on top, my annual salary was cut $14,500. I only realised after 4 months, and upon asking Keith why this was, I was told "yes this location has less clients than your original home location, so the salary reflects that" - May I also add, my new location, because of me, is now sitting on the top of the leaderboards for the performance for all locations, and I am by far the hardest working and highest achieving in my role out of all of our locations- as shown in the company's own data. Though I am paid $14,500 less than before and even a whopping $24,000 per year less than my old colleague at my original location whom was in the same role as me with only 6 a month more tenure.
Further, I have explained to my employer that I am on the brink of experiencing financial hardship and cannot continue to have my paycheques issued with incorrect payments on them (which they frequently admit to making mistakes on), that I need to ensure my sick leave is processed correctly, that my annual leave is taken seriously etc. As well as that I, not only have a whole family, including children with early childhood education to pay for, though a car repayment, a mortgage and food and living expenses for us all. My employer does not seem to take this seriously and has currently spent a grand total of 9 months investigating a significant claim I have made regarding over $10,000 of underpayment to myself. The HR team whom has been tasked with reviewing it seems to disappear off the face of the earth and be uncontactable for 3 weeks at a time whenever they feel like it, and seem like reviewing HR cases is what they can do if they so feel like it, but that is kinda deviating from my issue at present though.
I feel like I am being wronged and violated at every stage of my employment an absolutely squeezed to work the life out of me with zero regard to even let me have my own annual leave balance that I have accumulated and have already told the company I will definitely use, just not within the next 6 months, and I have explained time and time again that forcing me to diminish my balance so low would put me at a 100% risk of significant financial hardship, such as not being able to make mortgage or car repayments, and my children attending school without lunch, and myself not being able to eat any proper and nutritious meals whatsoever. It seems to fall on deaf ears each time.
TLDR; I am being forced to purposely diminish my annual leave to an amount that would put me in significant financial hardship even though I have never signed or agreed to do such thing and this policy was made at the drop of a hat and my employer simply won't listen and doesn't care about my genuine reasons why I do not want to intentionally diminish my annual leave balance so low.
Of course I understand that no advice here provided replaces a face to face consultation with a legal advisor in this area, though am interested to receive insight and opinions from those in the field, with a legal background or those opinions of laypeople reading this.
Thank you all so much for your time and lots of blessings to all who provide insight!

We just got back from a wonderful trip in the northern part of Italy with our 3-year-old. Having spent 2 weeks on one of our best trips so far, I really want to thank a bunch of fellow redditors who helped refine our itinerary and suggested places which otherwise would not have made it to our plan!
Day 1 Milan: We took a flight from India and landed in Milan in the afternoon. Milan was just the arrival point for us and we did not intend to visit Milan as such, so we ended up booking a room in the hotel at the Malpensa Airport itself. Nothing much that day; a bit of rest and a delicious dinner were a great start to our trip.
Day 2 Drive from Milan to Bellagio: Woke up after a good night's sleep (a much needed one after the long sleepless flight the day before). Breakfast at the hotel was really good with a lot of options for everyone. We had booked a car through SIXT at the Malpensa airport. Getting the car was a breeze with great service from the representative at the SIXT counter. The drive to Bellagio was a very good one. I was still getting used to the car, since I come from a land of right-hand drive and switching to a left-hand drive meant putting in a lot more focus on the road. Driving along the Lake Como was a fantastic experience. We reached Bellagio by lunch time and our AirBnB was ready for us. The rest of the day was at leisure, with a casual walk around Bellagio, through the city center and along the lake.
Day 3 Bellagio to Varenna: Took a ferry to Varenna and had breakfast at a lake side cafe. With great weather on our side, a cup of coffee and a little pastry seemed more blissful than we thought of! We had signed up for a picnic on the hills of Camaggiore, a 40-minute drive from the Varenna ferry station. We had our representative waiting for us and she drove us to the picnic spot, sharing tales from the towns of Lake Como, showing us amazing views along the way. The picnic itself was surreal, with the most beautiful view of the lake from 1200 meters above. We spend the rest of the day exploring Varenna at our pace, while our little one slept like a log in the stoller.
Day 4 Bellagio: After debating weather to visit the Como town or not, we decided to stay in Bellagio in explore the town a bit more. We took a ride of the Bellagio Express, the toy train that takes you around the town. It was a fun ride, intended for our toddler, who decided to doze off in the train itself! Post that, we saw the gardens of the Villa Melzi. We had rented a boat to explore the lake ourselves during the evening, but rainy weather made us cancel our plans. We spent the rest of the evening, relaxing at our AirBnB, overlooking the lake.
Day 5 Drive from Bellagio to Gardaland: Moving on to the next leg of our trip, which was clearly planned keeping our little boy in mind, we drove to Gardaland reaching there by noon. Thanks to a wonderful fellow Redditor, we got introduced to this wonderland called Gardaland! Our stay was booked at the Gardaland Hotel and while we were waiting for our room to get ready, we decided to pay a visit to the Gardaland Resort park right away. A drizzly weather kept most of the visitors inside the SEA Aquarium, but that also meant we had absolutely no waiting times on most of the rides in the park! The little one was elated to see the Peppa Pig Land, and refused to move away from it. All in all, day one in the park was a super success despite the wet weather. Evening at the hotel was full of fun-filled activities for the kids. The entertainment team at Gardaland Hotel did a fabulous job at keeping kids engaged.
Day 6 Gardaland: Our second day in the Gardaland park was a much more planned one, since we had already explored some of the park on the previous day. We knew the rides we wanted to go on, and so logistics were simpler. Weather was great too, and so we had a wonderful time! The park has a plethora of options to eat, with a ton of sweet treats along the way. The park is huge but very well laid out with clean facilities. Naturally, day two also could not be completed without visiting our favorite Peppa Pig! Evening at the hotel was again fun-filled with the team at Gardaland doing what they do the best!
Day 7 Parco Natura Viva: Gardaland is in proximity to a lot of amusement parks and points of recreation for family and friends. One of them is Parco Natura Viva, a zoo with a drive-through safari. It was a Saturday and the zoo had enormous waiting times for the cars to enter the Safari. After having waited in the queue for over an hour, we finally started the Safari, which turned out to be pretty great. Next, we had the fauna park (the walkable part of the zoo), the one with animals in their enclosures. With the entire park divided into geographical zones, it was fun seeing animals from various continents. The place is well-maintained, and creates a great experience for kids.
Day 8 Verona: We had kept an extra day in Gardaland just in case the little man wanted to visit the park again. However, given the proximity, we decided to do a day trip to Verona instead. We drove to Verona and parked our car in one of the paid parking lots. We had reserved a morning slot for a walking tour, that took us through the streets of Verona, with our very knowledgeable guide sharing tales from historic Verona, the castle and gate to the old city center. The center was bustling with stores and eateries. Very touristy but was all the more fun! Our taste buds were craving for some Indian food and we ended up having lunch at an amazing Indian restaurant named "Maharajah". The food was delectable with very prompt service. As touristy as it sounds, we did go to "Casa di Giulietta", commonly known as Juliet's house that is known for the legacy of Romeo and Juliet having been inspired from there. The so-called Juliet's balcony is missable at best.
Day 9 Drive from Gardaland to Venice: Switching to the last leg of our trip, this was supposed to be the wife's part of the trip. She has wanted to visit Venice for as long as she remembers, and this trip could not have happened without a leisurely stay in the city of canals! This was also the last day of us keeping the car, and we drove to Venice Marco Polo Airport where we returned the car at the SIXT counter. Once again, just like the pick-up the return process was extremely smooth and lasted barely a couple of minutes. Our plan was to catch the Alilaguna airport water bus to the main island, but we decided to splurge at the last moment and took the water taxi instead. And boy were we happy! The water taxi is an experience in itself, especially when entering the canals from the airport. Our AirBnB was located right on the Grand Canal, giving us uninterrupted views of the Canal. For a place that looked better in person than in pictures, what more could we have asked for! We spent the evening walking to the Rialto Bridge, people-watching!
Day 10 St. Marks square and Dodge's Palace: After a good night's sleep, we woke up refreshed, taking in the morning views of the Grand Canal, with the gondola's and the various boats floating by, doing their chores for the day. We had booked a tour of the St. Marks square and the Basilica, along with the Dodge's Palace. Unfortunately, it had to be a rainy day. While we still participated in the tour, the place became very crowded because a lot of people tried to maximize on the time indoors to avoid the rain. Nonetheless, it was a good experience. The little one dozed off in the Basilica and so we let my wife carry on with the tour of the palace, while I took a table under an umbrella at the Cafe Lavena to get myself some coffee, and to let my son enjoy his sleep. We spent the evening loitering around the Rialto market, spoiling ourselves with a few gelatos at Suso!
Day 11 Murano, Burano and Torcello: We woke up early, fixed ourselves some breakfast and were ready to leave. We had booked a tour of the 3 islands and our job was to get to the meeting point as soon as possible. Unfortunately, we missed our group and had to visit the islands on our own. The upside to this was that we could do it at our own pace! This included having a hearty lunch at a beautiful local cafe in Torcello. This place had a chidren's play area too! This also meant spending more time than necessary in Burano, because why not? We loved the colorful houses on the island and we just wanted to be there, taking in everything it had...
Day 12 Leisure and Photoshoot: My wife and I generally have this idea of booking a small photoshoot at every exquisite location we visit. This not only gives us great pictures for memories, but it also allows us to see areas which we would otherwise not know existed. We booked this experience through AirBnB and our photographer was a wonderful man, very learned and a true Venetian at heart! He took us to places that were free of tourists, for some amazing pictures. Not only that, he also arranged for a special Gondola ride for us, which took us through the narrower canals of Venice, adding to the already special experience. A trip to Venice is really incomplete without a Gondola ride, and we were glad we could! This was the last evening of our trip and we could not conclude it without a few more Aperol Spritz's and Gelatos from Suso!
With every trip we take, we learn a lot, that helps us make our future trips better. We consciously chose to skip the more popular locations like Rome and Florence (Tuscany), since we wanted to have ample time of leisure and just do nothing, with a toddler who wanted to just be.
If I could summarize the learnings of this trip, they would be:

• Travelling with a toddler is great, if you leave a lot of room for rest and leisure. It not only allows you to be, but it also leaves scope to rome around the place and absorb the local life beyond the tourist favourites
• Lake Como has a lot to offer. While day trips from Milan sound good, staying in a Lake Como town lets you enjoy the serenity of the lake in a more intimate manner. A couple of days at the least, three days to make it worth while.
• Driving around Lake Como can be fun, but can also become a bit intimidating if you are trying to drive slow on the roads that circle the lake and there are cars behind you, trying to get ahead. Staying calm is the key!
• Gardaland is unchartered territory for people outside Italy, and if travelling with kids, must find a place in the itinerary.
• We had a lot of people advising us against spending 4 days in Venice, but we do not regret it even a bit. Venice is a city unlike anything we've been to so far. It is very difficult to imagine the daily life of the people living there, unless you decide to stop and slow things down yourself, experiencing the little things that the place has to offer.
• It is absolutely ok to not cover every point of interest at a place you are staying. Ticking everything off the list does not give the same satisfaction as enjoying the few things that you do, at a pace that you like.
• Lastly, strollers are a boon, even with the cobbled streets. They serve a great deal for quick afternoon naps, as well as meal times. It indeed is a pain carrying them over the hundreds of bridges in a place like Venice, but the pros still outweigh the cons.

Quick "about me":

• I'm 32 years old and on €37,000 euros yearly. Not much I know but that's my situation that I'm trying to improve
• I have just gotten married
• Regrettably I only started investing a year and a half ago
• Currently I have 250 euros monthly going into a managed Zurich fund
• Up until the last 3 months, I've been availing of Prisma 5 solely
• Over the past 3 months, I've started putting 50% into 5 star 5 and 50% into Prisma 5
• over the last 3 months, I've also been far more aggressive with putting in considerably more money that I can afford to contribute from my savings account into the managed fund. I gamble on the side as a hobby, but study football closely and have made inside of an honest thousand this season. Any money I win goes directly to Zurich
• as things stand, I have managed to contribute a total of €8,514 overall - where the value of the fund (after tax) now sits at €8,996
• 19.63% is currently allocated to 5 star 5 and 80.37% is currently allocated to Prisma 5
• I know what you'll say about this next point - however, you should know that I'm a risk taker at heart and for the better or for the worse I've put €3,000 into bitcoin. I know nothing about Crypto except that it is a volatile market and a mug's bet as far as I'm concerned but it's 3 grand that I'm comfortable with losing. I engaged with crypto because my friend - who also knows nothing about Crypto - made a pretty sizable fortune when he invested before it started rallying earlier this year.

My questions:

• How much is a strong amount to have invested come 5 years time as regards Zurich Fund?
• Should I make adjustments as to how I allocate the monthly payments?
• Should I leave the cryptomarket and solely finance the Zurich investment?
• if I'm making more one-off payments towards the Zurich fund, how much should I allocate to either investment? (IE: if I were to add €1000 into it today, should I split the allocation down the middle?).
• is there anything standing out here that you would do differently if you were in my shoes?

*Please go easy on me. I'm just an honest irish taxpayer trying to make my future for my partner and I more comfortable 😊

Our Captain wanted our small crew to be well-read on military matters. Modern and historical aspects. We’d be assigned, or choose for ourselves, a book or treatise to study. Then would, at an appointed time, meet to discuss each, and what it had taught us. What had gone right. What Could have gone right, if done differently. What had worked, and what had not. Mistakes that had been made. How past actions and tactics translated to the modern military.
“I have a suggestion for you, OP. What do you know of Thermopylae?”
“I’ve heard of it, Sir.”
“Study it for our next session. I think you’ll find it interesting. It’s a good example of how comparatively few good men in the right place at the right time can have an impact out of all proportion to their numbers. If they’re the right men.”
He wasn’t wrong, and I’ve been hooked on the story ever since.
Another time: “How could you do that much damage to a Jeep, OP? As sturdy as these things are, I wouldn’t’ve thought it Could be done.”
“You yourself told me, Sir, that it needed takin’ out and beating up once in a while to keep it runnin’ right.”
I’d discovered, to my repeated delight, that you could catch some decent air with one, in the right terrain, if you were going fast enough. Kept that to myself - he didn’t need to know Everything.
“…….I did say that, didn’t I?”
Of the vehicles we had, two had caught fire, and now this one was going to need a major overhaul. So, at that time, I was batting three out of five. Putting me in charge of our small motor pool might’ve been a mistake.
He wasn’t even mad that time. Took it with surprising equanimity, in fact. Getting used to it, I guess.

Charlotte I love you and all your Virgo-ness, l am a Capricorn and we are completely compatible, love you girl!
I didn't realize I was petty until I started watching your videos a couple years ago. It's helped me realize the spectrum of hypocrisy and karma with people and how they handle things. Not saying that petty is a bad thing, I just always try to stay accountable in my actions even when they are petty and I try to do so without self hatred or too much criticism. I think it's important to stay accountable to your actions. l believe in karma and you get what you give so l try to stay humble in my pettiness. 😈
OK now the tea.
I know I am the a hole and I'm a proud a hole because I got really sick of being pushed down and decided to take action. I believe in the power of the Universe from a spiritual standpoint and I believe in trying to do the right thing but I wont always do the right thing when I'm getting hurt and the other person is getting away with their bullshit. this isn't always the case because I do the right thing when the amount of energy is matchable and I know I can accommodate the situation in a healthy way. This is my ideal situation but if I feel it's getting out of hand and there's no accommodation for me then I'm not afraid to be petty. This might be some Kane and Abel shit.
My brothe 29 has always blamed me for his problems ever since we were kids. Even jumping on the bed as kids and having fun, he fell off and blamed me for his injury when he broke his collarbone. My sick and dysfunctional family believed him over me (like they always do no matter how much l stand up for myself in truth🙄) and it has still followed me to this day in a joking manner so he can "get away with it". Jokes can be disguises for many things including jealousy and petty brothers.
Anyway, he is getting married abroad and l am happy for him. We have never been close except when we were delusion children and he has cut contact with me for about 5 years now. He fakes it when he sees me and plays my mom and dad to be "the good guy" but l see right thru him and when l call him out, he doubles down. Not ok, don't fuck with the goat. 🐐♑️
l have done everything in my power to alleviate the situation and make things right. All the situations... he has taken my power and ran in many, many cases. He has never apologized for his actions or how he treats my parents. l am the oldest daughter and if you fuck with them, you fuck with me. l have never been afraid to show him that. l think he secretly hates me and l don't give a fuck!
His wedding invitation came in the mail after a grand manipulation. Since he cut me off, and my parents for a short time until he needed something 🙄he did not have my address. He constantly complained how I'm needy and couldn't live on my own and when l finally did, he couldn't be happy for me and bashed me. He even manipulated my mom into thinking it was my fault l couldn't but l just lost my fiancé and moved home.She yelled at me on multiple separate occasions because of what he told her, it felt very abusive. He kicks people when theyre down and did the same thing to my mom when she was bedridden and that's when he said she had munchausens by proxy and yelled at her. l think this is a projection of how he feels and he is rein-acting his trauma, but just because you have trauma doesn't mean you can be an asshole! such a baby bro move but he's not a loss.
l saw this all coming a mile away and no one listened. l tried to tell multiple family members and no one listened, they only listened when l stopped talking.
Needless to say, the second l got his invitation, l ripped it up and threw it in the trash. I'm not sorry. l went along with plans with my parents to protect them and when l told them l didn't get it.... and was trying to protect them from this situation (because l actually give a shit about people and their feelings) they got mad 🥲 tha fukkk this is why l turned evil lol but since l was faking l took it on my chin.
Update: l recently told my parents l did get the invitation and it was a couple buildings down along with the save the date. Since it was such a problem for my brother to even be happy for his sister to get her shit together after a really hard time, boss up and move out (which l have been doing for about 3 years) l got petty. Everything l have ever done is a problem to him and that's not my problem.
l texted him l got the invite and replied yes.
Keep in mind, he hasn't talked to me for years and never texts me back. So l got wise and decided to play his game and completely detach from this fucker. It's May and his wedding is at the end of the year. He told my parents he couldn't accommodate me and not to come. He texted them....
l wasn't going to go anyway, but this is exactly the behavior l am talking about. l know l may have hurt my parents but l am putting that on my brother and adding to his pile. He can't even text me back. It's been 5 years and l think it's safe to say our relationship is over. Ive made peace with that and it's for the better at this point. My parents are having a hard time with it but l dont blame them and try to be understanding of them even if it hurts me. l think that's real love. And codependency lol
l decided to move on without him. l will never understand him and why he is so cruel in this because it's so painful. lt took everything for me to walk away. l could never do that to my parents, l don't know how he did. He has always needed someone to blame and l am that person for him. I've finally accepted that and if you want a chess match, prepare for check mate.
There are some details l have left out but l tried to do the best l can at 3am. Thanks for being an outlet Charlotte, stay petty 🩷

Intro

It’s not much of a stretch to say that violence is the primary form of interaction in video games. With a handful of exceptions, most video games involve guys whacking other guys, with varying degrees of brutality. Even chill games fall into this - Stardew Valley has sections with combat in them! Considering the pervasiveness of violence in video games, there has been a ton of amateur and academic commentary on the topic. However, while this is a well-established school of thought, I haven’t seen people try to apply this to Fire Emblem specifically.
So, let’s do that now! In this post, I’ll be exploring how violence in Fire Emblem is implemented - what limitations are placed on violence, how it warps wider game and narrative design, and what it implicitly says and does not say. I hope this post doesn’t come off as too early-2010s “makes you think”-y, but I do think there are multiple interesting things worth talking about here!
Despite the length of this post, "a brief discussion" is an appropriate title, as we won't be able to go into depth on everything. After all, video games are holistic works, so the attitude towards violence is relevant to every aspect of their design. However, I have managed to wrangle some of these threads into the following structure: first a discussion on the fundamental mode of interaction in Fire Emblem, then how stories are constructed with regards to violence, and ending with the aesthetics of violence and how they relate to characters. Also, as FE is a huge series, be aware that I am gonna be making some broad statements which may not apply to each individual plot point of every game. I actually planned to write 3 case studies around Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses (which have the most interesting attitudes to violence in the series IMO) which point out these deviations, but this post is way too long and full of tangents already. If people are interested, I’ll make a followup to this post which goes into them in more detail. Also also, because of the nature of this post, I’ll actually give a useful TL;DR for once:
TL;DR: Nintendo games must be fun mechanically, and they can’t be too uncomfortable narratively. If you try to provide a counterpoint by saying “oh this Kirby final boss is super dark it eats 100 morbillion galaxies”, you do not deserve rights. IntSys has to keep to this as a 2nd party publisher, but they also have to deal with the fact that their games are at least nominally about ‘war’ (or at least they put their toes into that particular thematic pool). This conflict between making a fun video game for children/teens and the wider framing of the narrative leads to interesting narrative and aesthetic tensions. also fun is cringe, misery is based

“Do you like hurting other people?” (or The Fundamental Mode of Interaction)

OK LISTEN I KNOW I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO COME ACROSS AS A EARLY 2010s “VIOLENCE IN VIDYA BAD :O????” PERSON BUT I SWEAR I’M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS
The best place to start when talking about violence in video games is to think about the primary form of interaction in said game. In the case of Fire Emblem, this is in the in-chapter gameplay. Sure, in objective terms the player moves arbitrary objects across a 2D grid which perform subtraction on arbitrary objects controlled by the computer, but this is always framed as controlling a squad of soldiers to engage in (typically lethal) combat with enemies (who are normally also soldiers). When you’re not doing this in-chapter gameplay, you are preparing for the next chapter of combat. This involves surveying the area of combat, preparing weapon loadouts, etc, however more recent entries also include light life-sim-esque elements. To summarize, Fire Emblem’s interactivity involves ordering violence as well as the preparations to order said violence.
For players, this strategic thinking is extremely fun and is the primary draw of the series! You have all these tier lists of who’s better at killing, discussion of the maps where you do the killing, complaints about the length of gameplay sections where you don’t do killing, etc. This is by design, as while I don’t know the core brand tenets of Nintendo, I imagine the Reggie quote “If it isn’t fun, why bother?” is carved into a solid gold statue of Mario in the office lobby. This then is enforced on all associated studios, including IntSys and so Fire Emblem. While I would disagree with that Reggie quote (especially the bit where he says “If it’s not a battle, where’s the fun?” which is a wild statement to make about an entire medium), this approach to making games is ultimately fine, and so IntSys tailored the strategic gameplay to be satisfying to your dopamine receptors. You could analyse what the normalisation of violence even in ‘just for fun’ games says about wider gaming culture, but I won’t get into that here. In any case, let’s dig into a few specifics of FE’s interactivity.
One thing that’s interesting with regard to strategy games is the detached perspective of the player. You order units and observe the resulting violence, but it’s not tactile, you don’t directly swing the sword or shoot the bow or cast the spell like with action games. This adds a layer of separation between the player and what fundamentally happens, at least within the framing that the game provides. It’s not like Call of Duty, where your relationship to the violence is very visceral, where you view everything down the barrel of a gun. OK, I probably shouldn’t use a series that I have very little personal experience with (I only listen to the supplementary lore material, so let’s talk about Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. While you’re not directly in the driver’s seat, John Sekiro reacts to your every input with extreme responsiveness, so overcoming the game’s challenges i.e. stabbing people is incredibly visceral and satisfying. While this violence is fantastical in nature, there is sufficient blood and explicit sword-action to clearly say “oh yeah you are violently killing all of those bozos with a katana”. Coming back to FE, not only are you far more detached from the violence, it is presented in an extremely cartoony manner… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, we’ll get to the aesthetics later. Point is, Fire Emblem gives the viewpoint of a stoic commander, who Does What Needs To Be Done™, and not the viewpoint of an actual soldier who has to do the actual killing.
Now let’s view the player’s perspective on violence from a different angle. Fire Emblem intends for its combat to be relatively relaxed on the player side of things - the turn-based nature allows the player to calmly think through all of their moves, and you typically have perfect information on the enemies. The only exceptions to this are Fog of WaSame Turn Reinforcements, which are rare and typically unpopular amongst the fanbase. This leans into ‘combat as sport’, where (going back to the Reggie quote) you have a fun time picking apart a puzzle with the tools you have, and we all collectively enjoy this! This is a valid way of designing strategy games, and I like what IntSys has done. However, it’s not the only way of making these games - for example, in Total War you have to juggle all your battalions in real time whilst the enemy is bearing down on you, and the XCOM games always have Fog of War and limited information on the enemies, with you never knowing what kind of awful new monster is going to suddenly charge at you. Don’t get me wrong, neither of these follow ‘combat as war’, the principle that violence should properly mimic the stress, tension and unfairness of actual conflict. Hell, neither of them are particularly mature either - Total War is the strategy game equivalent of smashing action figures together, and XCOM emulates a pulp sci-fi alien invasion story. However, the additional pressures these games have make them hew slightly closer to actual conflict, putting you more in that mindset in a way that the clean fun Fire Emblem doesn’t really do. Again, I want to say FE’s approach to violence in in-map gameplay is fine, but when all three of these franchises have an explicit narrative framing of ‘warfare’, it does make Fire Emblem’s narrative a little more… stretched.
Finally, I want to briefly mention the maps. To steal from a brilliant Jacob Geller video, these are Worlds Designed For Violence. At least outside of the Kaga games, the maps you fight on are primarily designed around how the player interacts with them, i.e. fights on them. While I imagine the narrative designers and artists at IntSys are involved throughout the map design process, the gameplay flow probably takes precedence most of the time. Maps are not designed to resemble realistic places that you have to fight through, they are instead designed primarily to provide fun gameplay experiences before being dressed up by the artists to look realistic/fit the specific story beat. This is a more consistently entertaining approach to map design - heaven knows we have a lot of Kaga castle assault maps which are as fun as actually assaulting an entrenched position IRL - but this lack of friction could potentially take the bite out of the intended vibe, neuter any commentary on violence throughout the story.
You may have noticed that we’ve only talked about the “in-map” gameplay for now, when there’s an entire second half of these games, i.e. all the gameplay between the maps. Don’t worry, we’ll get to all of that, but this may fit better in:

Something something “ludonarrative” something something (or Narrative Implications)

(To clarify, here I’m going to talk about the wider plots and narrative structure as opposed to characterisation, as that fits more into the aesthetics of the series)
It’s not bold to say that the narratives of games have to warp around the core gameplay structure. Especially in AAA video game production, the narrative designers usually have to take a back seat to the systems and level designers, at least outside of the initial rough outline they provide in the original game pitch. In this case, the job of the writer is to form vaguely coherent connective tissue between individual levels, setpieces and expensive pre-rendered cutscenes. This must be a very difficult job, and is probably the reason why most video game stories are the way they are. I am not privy to IntSys internal meetings, but I imagine they abide by this paradigm, trying to give a reason for why you fight 20 battles which roughly align with plot beats that were decided years ago.
Put another way, the writers of Fire Emblem must contrive a reason why the characters fight a vast number of violent battles in a strategic manner. This has a pretty easy solution - war! We have found something it’s good for, as whenever the gameplay designers decide that an extra map is required, the writers can just insert “oh no there’s a blockade of enemy soldiers in the way, guess you gotta kill them all”. This is the case for almost all the games and is a fair enough narrative choice, as it’s frankly one of the few scenarios where you could reasonably contrive so many battles, but it’s worth examining this in a bit more detail.
Even in the framing of warfare, there are still a lot of skirmishes, which sometimes the narrative or tone fails to support - or at least, their presence means that violence isn’t taken that seriously. Let’s take an example from early in Awakening: Emmeryn sends the Shepherds to negotiate an alliance with Regna Ferox. On the way, they are ambushed by Risen on the Northroad (1), have to fight the border guards who think Chrom is a bandit I think??? (2), and then after arriving they need to take part in Regna Ferox’s ritual combat to secure their alliance (3). These beats aren’t necessarily bad, and I actually think Awakening uses these opportunities quite well: the Risen are established as a constant threat to the world (except not really in the main story but that’s a whole other thing), “Marth'' gets more development, we set up Regna Ferox as fighty people who like to fight, and while the middle encounter is very tenuous it does set up a funny joke in Cynthia’s paralogue. However, I want to communicate that if the map/encounter designers need X maps between plot points A and B - in this case, needing low-stakes trials in the tutorial period - then there’s gonna be a fair bit of narrative filler. That is to say, there must be multiple combat encounters that kinda just happen, which makes violence a lot more casual in the narrative. See also the myriad examples of “oh shit random bandits attack!”, used to have a lower stakes map, with bandits appearing and vanishing as needed. This works fine enough in the context of ‘combat as sport’, allowing your favourite scrunglo to build up a triple-digit body count, but this casual attitude circumvents potentially interesting ideas with regards violence. Taking the example further, banditry and its causes are never seriously explored, as bandits are just treated as a filler enemy (except in Based As Hell Thracia 776).
Another narrative consequence of needing so many fights is that… you need to fight. That is to say, any anti-war sentiment or appeal to diplomacy in the series is fundamentally undercut by a) strategic combat being a core appeal of the series and b) narrative beats needing to be structured around fighting enemies. It’s a struggle to have moments of diplomacy and reconciliation when you had a fight within 3 minutes of said moment, lest some people start screaming that things are getting boring. This also makes any appeals to pacifism kinda moot. Xander’s quote about “war bad” in Conquest is utter bullshit, as a huge part of the marketing around that route focuses on the coolness of the tactical combat and its challenge. Eirika and Ephraim can never be equal, because Ephraim’s “fighting is fucken awesome” is encouraged by the gameplay, and Eirika can NEVER save 11037 because we need a final boss and no-one else fits the bill.
Speaking of, in video games it’s best practice to have a big bad guy you fight at the end of the story, the toughest mechanical challenge coinciding with the narrative climax. In Fire Emblem, you have one grand final battle which decides the fate of the war and/or world, before cutting to a brief wrap-up and then credits. This is an attempt to make these games satisfying, which is fine, but this is at odds with an anti-war message (which FE often gestures towards) - that is, actual wars tend to be deeply unsatisfying in a narrative sense! Oftentimes, after a decisive battle, things just kinda keep going for a little while afterwards with casualties continuing to pile up until peace terms are agreed. In the few cases where there is a final battle, it’s more of a formality as the decisive moment occurred months ago. See World War 1 and… World War 2 for examples of each, not to mention a whole host of war-related books and films. The problem with doing this in a video game is that it would require having multiple one-sided fights past the most climatic fight, which would be unfun, and we return to that fucking Reggie quote again. While video games can effectively explore this anti-war narrative space - This War of Mine is a fantastic example - it just doesn’t gel with the fun games that IntSys wants to make. I bring this up in the context of FE because Fire Emblem has such an aesthetic focus on warfare compared to other video games, so it sticks out even further. Even in FE6/FE9 where the war is effectively over in the final few maps, the enemies still remain extremely challenging, because if they didn’t things would be boring.
A few minor things that didn’t fit in above before we wrap up this section. First of all, in making an action packed story, Fire Emblem neglects an important aspect of army life in warfare - the “hurrying up and waiting”. In the majority of cases, the breaks between fights is under 10 minutes, it’s just glossed over. Fire Emblem Three Houses is the exception to this, but there it’s more framed as school life. Some people may say “what’s the point in having large amounts of timewasting where nothing happens in my game about war” and to that I would say fuck you, I want to play Jarhead Emblem. Next, Fire Emblem involves fighting people AND monsters, but these targets are typically given equal narrative weight, outside of maybe a funny line of dialogue about someone being afraid of monsters. In 99% of cases, enemy soldiers you fight have no more humanity than literal monsters. The death of any of your beloved soldiers is a tragedy with big sad death quotes, the death of those poor fuckers is quite literally a statistic which is proudly used to rank how well your guys have done at the end of the game. Finally, the limited scope of the violence the series can show limits the potential impact of scenes. In some cases, this is good as the implication is enough, e.g. the ‘Monica’ scene in Sacred Stones is wonderfully grim and would be weakened by anything explicit. However, a number of other scenes are neutered by the limitations on violence. This fundamentally relates to the aesthetics of the series:

insert prozd tweet/skit here (or Aesthetics, Tone, and Characters)

I’ve been talking a lot about ‘the violence committed’, and this might have seemed a bit weird to you. It’s a true statement, but because the violence is mostly cartoony and abstracted - bad guys disappear into nothingness, there’s no blood, etc - it’s hard to think of it in that way. It’s basically impossible to place Fire Emblem in the same artistic sphere as, say, All Quiet on the Western Front. This aesthetic sense was partially tech-limited in the early NES and SNES games, which was grandfathered into the more graphically complex titles, but it’s also related to how the aesthetics unavoidably warp the tone of the work. IntSys needs their games to be relatively lighthearted and unconcerned with the consequences of its violence, as one of the core appeals of these games is the charming cast of characters. As you would expect, it would be a lot harder to appreciate your goofy blorbos and their lighthearted chats about nothing if you could see the brutal consequences of their triple digit body counts. If violence was more realistic, there would be a lot less “ooh I like training and/or this one hyperspecific food” or “I like peace, but I guess violence may be possibly needed sometimes” and there would have to be a lot more trauma and dourness. There are also age rating concerns, as you can’t exactly sell Come And See Emblem to pre-teens. And once more, to clarify: Fire Emblem as it exists now is fine! I like the lighthearted tone of this series, and I like the characters that reside within it. However, a few problems do arise from IntSys’s approach to violence, as occasionally they brush up against darker ideas but (due to similar reasons to the above) they can never commit to them, which neuters their potential impact. This is especially troublesome with regards to characterisation, as the little dudes are a core appeal, so if something is off that could cause problems. In a sense, at points we have severe aesthetic tension.
A fairly useful case study to see how this affects characterisation is with Mozu in Fire Emblem Fates. Mozu is a charming character, a genial country bumpkin with a bit of an edge at times, who has fond memories of her hometown. This lines up with the lighthearted tone of her recruitment paralogue, where (checks notes) her entire village gets massacred by inhuman monsters, with her mother literally being murdered right in front of her, and she joins up with Corrin’s party because there is literally nothing left of her old life. I understand that people who experience extreme trauma do still manage to live meaningful lives, and that IntSys wouldn’t want to have a character who is a barely functional traumatised mess for 90% of the campaign. However, this doesn’t explain the sheer dissonance between the relatively normal and well-adjusted Mozu who quietly remembers her lost loved ones, and the fact that her village got My Lai’d a handful of weeks ago in the game’s timeline. IMO this would work a lot better if there were a few survivors (instead of literally everyone else dying), with Mozu actively choosing to leave her old life to help others instead of being forced to leave by circumstance. This reduction in scope would mitigate the dissonance between the character and what actually happens to her. This is by far the most extreme example in the series, however I’m sure you can think of others. My issue here is not with having ‘normal’ characters, or with them suffering tragedies, my issue is the dissonance between the two when viewing the scope of said tragedies. This is just one way the series wants to get into darker territory, then swiftly backing off instead of delving into the consequences.
This aesthetic restriction also affects the potential impact of dramatic scenes in the main story, limiting what the focus of these scenes can actually be. This little bit will involve heavy spoilers for Genealogy of the Holy War and Spec Ops: The Line (I KNOW THESE GAMES ARE VERY DIFFERENT WITH VERY DIFFERENT INTENDED DEMOGRAPHICS IN VERY DIFFERENT CULTURAL CONTEXTS, SHUT UP). Both have a very important narrative moment around their midpoints, involving fire magic/white phosphorus respectively. In each game, the deaths that occur are utterly horrific when you think about them. In FE4 the focus is on the drama of the plot twist and effects on the characters, with the actual effects of the violence being left to implication. We don’t know if this was the original intent of Kaga and the team, or if this was enforced by various tech- and publisher-related restrictions, but in either case we do not see anything explicit. In any case, in Spec Ops: The Line, the horror and graphic nature of the violence is completely inescapable, and therefore forms the core of the turning point of the story. The specifics of the violence itself are crucial - the game does not work if you don’t see the consequences of the white phosphorus - and it leads beautifully to the complete descent of its endgame. You may be saying “of course you couldn’t show that violence in FE, it’s a kids game” which is true, and in any case the scene in Genealogy is very good, even without showing the violence. I imagine if we get a remake in the year 202X we wouldn’t see anything explicit anyway, partially due to the publisher but also because the scene doesn’t necessarily need it. The point I am trying to make is that the aesthetics form a limitation on what Fire Emblem can explore, narrative space that the series fundamentally cannot reach.
One more thing, and this isn’t really about the games themselves but the impressions leading into them, and how the aesthetics can affect that. Do you guys remember when the intro cutscene of Three Houses was released a few weeks before release? I do, and I also remember the collective shock of the community when seeing the early previews. It was so drastically different to everything that had come before, and consequently was really intriguing - you can see a lot of speculation in the above comments. To clarify, I don’t want to pretend that 3H is some kind of super mature ultra gritty war story, or that blood = good game, but that beginning cutscene gave one hell of a first impression. Even though the game isn’t that much darker than any other FE game, the sheer unexpectedness put people off-kilter in a kinda awesome way. Does the game actually deliver? YMMV, but I think this (and some of the later cutscenes, such as the mid-game Dimitri one) work quite well. Sometimes, a little injection of harsher violence can go a long way.

Conclusion

Frankly I don’t really have a conclusion, sorry. As you can see, there are so many disparate strands, I can’t possibly make one grand thesis statement. Maybe the inherent contradictions of having warfare in a family friendly video game weakens the potential end result? I guess, but I don’t want to imply that what we have now is bad, as it is pretty good tbh. So, uhh…
…
OK, if I had to say something, it’s more about the process of making this. Having to try and think about how violence intersects with a video game you like takes you in a number of different directions. Ultimately, this process was really fulfilling for me, and I would recommend that you do the same (for FE or anything else)! Trying to analyse something you enjoy from a perspective not usually applied is pretty neat. If you guys have any thoughts (on the points above or your own), I’d be very interested to hear them!
Also, if people are interested, I’ll try to make a few case studies. I would focus on Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses, as (when thinking on this topic) I found that these games were consistently the most intriguing, with the most interesting relationships to violence. This would probably take a while though, as I am gonna be very busy in June, and I probably won’t have time this month either.

Witch Fall / / Rest Now

^vibe
January 8th, 2072.
The Midnight Court - Wewelsburg, Álfheimr
"I had no expectation of being crowned." Princess Kyōko looked towards the crowd of Alfr nobility which had amassed itself in the great hall of the Midnight Court. Excluding the Princess, who stood just in front of the Night King's Throne, the nobility made up of nearly all conquered people remained quiet as the Princess continued to speak - the shock of recent events emanating throughout the room. "And yet death of my uncle...has come as a shock."
The court was somber, the lights dim - only a few skylights pointed towards the Princess whose Golden crown had only just been placed on her head by the same woman who had coronated her Uncle all those years ago. The flags which had once flown as a symbol of the Aesir, now remained furled, awaiting to be revealed as the once Japanese Princess, continued to speak.
"In the years since my Uncle's coronation, our Aesir, has led you all to the well of prosperity, happiness, and security. Under his auspices rule, under the Night King's watchful gaze, you people...you all...have been so very lucky. So very lucky to have survived this long." Gasps from the crowd where audible as members of the Valkyrie of the 1st Sturmtruppen marched into the Great Hall, those members of the Elite Imperial Guard whose loyalty lay only with the Aesir. "Under the former Aesir, you have been...blinded by a shroud of darkness from true enlightenment. The failures of this Imperial Might, whose forces once so easily marched West across France and conquered Western Europe, come from your blind faith in my Uncle. You have been bested in a Gothic War which saw the needless deaths of so many of the Aesir's Chosen. And yet you cry out for more conflict?"
The new Aesir could see the daggers as she looked out at the crowd, as her words struck the very heart of the Alfheim's Imperial Center. From the corner of her eye, she could barely make out one figure leaving the Hall, shooting an icy yet aware glance towards the Throne, however, now was no time to stop, she had a mission here.
"At every step, your former ruler...has ensured that the entire weight of the world would come crashing down on his Empire. Even now, you face a rebellion in Italy, and the possibility of war in the outer colonies of Svartálfar and Mexico. And if not for the idleness of the great Goliath of Eastern Europe your very homeland would have most assuredly been lost by now."
By now, only the Æsir's Chosen had remained without reaction. The nobility long in uproar, confusion, and fear as the former second-rate Princess from Japan gave lecture on the future of the Empire.
"You all...I...have never seen throughout history, an Empire so reviled that even my own Father's machinations have gone unheeded by the world." The newly crowned Aesir cared little for choosing her words, knowing that ultimately, they'd have to all bend the knee either way. "Your world has failed, and I am here to save you."
The murmuring of the crowd would have become overwhelming if it was not for the clerics who raised and slammed the ends of their banners on the ground, unfurling the new flag of the Imperial Álfheimr while sending the crowds into a fervor of chanting.
“Long live Æsir!”
“Long live Æsir!”
“Long live Æsir!”
As the Midnight Sun rose over the old world, those nobility knew a new era had begun.

Mombasa, The Union of African Socialist Republics 

vibe

"The Malagasy Terror returns to South Africa, Mexico falls into the grips of Japanese Empire"

Bandung Daily Issued January 31st, 2072 - 12:00 Mombasa, The Union of African Socialist Republics
MOMBASA - As the world continues to feel the shockwaves from the death of former imperialist dictator Dederick Lohengrin, it has been confirmed that the Malagasy Terror otherwise known as Japanese Rear Admiral Sentaro Omori has been confirmed as the new Imperial Governor of Marley. According to reports from the Japanese Minister of Foreign Affairs Kamisato Ayaka, the handover of South Africa represents the 16th Imperial Administrative Zone of the ever growing Japanese Empire. Likewise, according to reports coming out of the JIIA - Rear Admiral Takagi Daisuke has been named Imperial Governor of Azteca (known globally as Mexico), as the newest and 17th Imperial Colony. The news has forced the resurfacing of existing fears within the UASR, and by extension broader Bandung Pact as to ongoing colonialism by the Japanese Empire which has despite its claim to "isolation", come to control vast swathes of the globe.
The annexation of South Africa, or rather, the repeated annexation of South Africa by Japan showcases the ongoing Imperial ambitions of a Japan which has frequently been known to break the conventions on human rights with its rumors of prison camps and genocide. Now following the death of the former Aesir of Alfheim who himself was a scourge on the continent of Africa, Japan has only further pushed the boundaries of its Imperial borders, using the second born Princess Kyōko as a way of wrestling control over the once antagonistic German Empire. While the hand-over of the Alfr's two most valued colonies was ostensibly done under the pretense of the possibility of outright war from a Bandung Pact led liberation of either South Africa or Mexico, experts across the Globe have come to other theories.
Specifically, experts within the UASR have begun theorizing that the recent withdrawal of the Alfheim from its Imperial ambitions, is largely, due to the possibility of an ongoing internal conflict between various factions within the Alfheimr Empire - namely, it is believed that there are several dissenting factions attempting to wrestle control out of Japanese hands. While outright war seems unlikely, the possibility of conflict cannot be understated as [Kyrr Von Lohengrin](), the Æsir's Chosen, and Danubian Habsburgs have been seen far more frequently in official affairs - while Alfheimr military assets appear to be on the constant move. While it is believed that much of the Aesir's non-Human population has as dictated by central processing units in both Wewelsburg, Berlin, and Paris been accepting of the new Æsir, more complex androids like the Æsir's Chosen and the vast majority of the religiously indoctrinated human population is rumored to be far less tolerant of both the official explanation of the Æsir's death and of the new ruling Æsir. Ultimately, while most experts believe outright conflict to be unlikely, some like those within the INC (GIGAS), have begun to whisper about the possibility of coming conflict.

For the Republic, Part Five: Born is the Fourth

Rare are the times that Kyrr von Lohengrin, former Imperial Vizikong of North Amerika and Minister of Foreign Affairs had found himself in this office. Its white walls, mirroring those of the exterior, was one of the few buildings permitted to be rebuilt in the wake of the Third Republic's destruction. And yet here he was all the same, the slow ticking of a grandfather clock in the corner the only audible noise that could be heard even with his enhanced hearing. Not even the breathing of the man sitting at the restored Resolute Desk was enough to break Kyrr out of his state of shock. It was only when the man and his hulking frame spoke, that Kyrr's attention drifted back to the present.
"I once sat where you are now." President Armstrong who had once betrayed the Third Republic mused as he stared down the nimble looking Alfr. "I offered your King a Kingdom, and look at him now...laying in dirt.
If not for the desperation of Kyrr's current situation, he would have ordered this so-called President's execution for disrespecting the Aesir.
"And for that matter, look at you, you proud Alfr who once strode in here so high and mighty declaring a new world order. You know? Katherine might have been right...hahaha." Armstrong spat out his tobacco as he leaned back in his chair, resting his legs on the desk. "Your worse than us now, at least we never lost our homes."
The disdain in Armstrong's voice was palpable, as his baritone voice echoed throughout the office. Kyrr could barely hide his own contempt, and disgust at what was nothing more than a sub-human caveman lecturing to one of the Aesir's closest confidants.
"And now, as those Jap fucks stretch their god damn Midnight Sun across Europe...you come to me, Papa Armstrong for help." Armstrong's face broke into a wicked smile; violence, rage, and hatred spewing from his eyes. "Well your in luck, kid. Because you've come to a land where the people are free, there is no slate to wipe because I've already burned the fucking thing to the ground."
"Look, I'm not here for a monologue. We both have things we can off-...."
"Shut the fuck up and sit there, quietly. You came here for whatever I can offer, not the other way around." Armstrong's smile only continued to widen as it reached comedically lengths. "And as I said, your in luck, because I can offer you a place in my new America. People will die, and kill, and you can be one of the killers."
Kyrr continued to stare at the American whose smile literally reached from ear to ear.
"So...whaddya think?"

Warsaw, The Commonwealth 

vibe

"Fall Dämmerung and the Álfheimr Civil War"

CNN (Commonwealth) Issued October 16th, 2072 - 12:00 Warsaw, The Commonwealth
PARIS - As the Black Fleet lay smoldering at the bottom of the Atlantic, the Global Interoperable Guarantee for Allied Support has announced the end of the Álfheimr Civil War which had started in the late Spring of 2072. While the ACW had begun largely due to factional disputes on an internal level within Imperial Álfheimr government following the coronation of the new Æsir, too most experts, it didn't officially begin until the secession of what is now informally known as the "Republic of New Álfheimr". The New Republic which exists in an unrecognized status (by Imperial Japan, the INC, and GIGAS at large), is now formally made up of the "Imperial Dominion of Amerika" which was the former Third American Republic before its conquest by the late Greater Aryan Empire (GAE). The secession of America was allegedly brought about by an alliance between certain Dederick Lohengrin loyalists including Kyrr von Lohengrin, alongside Steven Armstrong the titular "Governor" of the American colony. While the Civil War had originally been fought solely between the Imperial Álfheimr under the recently crowned Æsir Kyōko and Kyrr's New Republic, the follow-up secession of Danubia from the Imperial Álfheimr quickly brought new levels of severity - forcing GIGAS's hand and involvement.
The secession of Danubia under the command of Ferdinand Habsburg, as advised by Gloria von Habsburg led to the creation of "The Grand Imperium of Europa", a new so-called Empire claiming to be the true successors of the Greater Aryan Empire. To even greater surprise however, it would appear that the Danubian secession was supported by the O-5 Council and broader Æsir Chosen including "The Advisor, Commander, and Mother" among others. This was a major blow to Æsir Kyōko's legitimacy, and additionally led to a significant loss of human manpower within the Imperial Álfheimr which coupled with the creation of Kyrr's Republic - undoubtedly forced Álfheimr's call for aide.
These events ultimately led to a "forced peace" between the Imperial Álfheimr which is ostensibly still "independent" from the Empire of Japan, the Republic of New Álfheimr, and Grand Imperium of Europa by GIGAS through the destruction of the feuding Black Fleet in the Atlantic operated by the Republic of New Álfheimr. At the same time however, efforts by the Bandung Pact and Eastern Union to capitalize on these events have largely fallen flat - as crises in Israel, Kaabu, and even Eastern Siberia have led to a new level of unprecedented global tension. Nevertheless, while a tacit "white peace" currently exists between the three "Álfheimr successor states", none are certain that such a peace will hold even under GIGAS oversight.

CLAIM REVEAL: THE POST-ALFHEIM STATES (MAP)

The Grand Imperium of Europa

• DETAILS
• Head of State: Ferdinand Habsburg
  • Other Important Characters (meta control)
  • Gloria von Habsburg
  • The Æsir's Chosen (those otherwise not listed under the RNA)
• Population: 203,994,000
• Claim Starting Allotments (IE. Special Starting Scenario)
  • Claimant receives special/secret information at the start of the Campaign

Things to Consider
The Grand Imperium of Europa is unique in its existence as a fortress state among fortress states, nestled in the heart of Central Europe and shielded from the broader "Japanese Alfheim" (Berlin/Paris, etcetera), the Grand Imperium claims not only to be the true successor of the GAE - but has in many ways, the military might to back it up. Having retained much of the human-based military, and significant portions of the non-human army as well, its only lack is in naval capability.
The Grand Imperium like the RNA also has the benefit of having total access to the Alfheim technology base (anything Tion, Eagan, 8th, etcetera posted). At the same time however, while starting at "peace" with the other Alfr successors and neighbors, the Grand Imperium must be careful as overt aggression against Imperial Alfheim may incur Japanese intervention - although, this is not assured by any means. However due to the ACW, it will likely take 1-2 years to rebuild the ability to produce more.
The Grand Imperium of Europa represents a strong, mid-level claim in a precarious yet flexible geopolitical starting position.

The Imperial Protectorate of the Italian Social Republic

• DETAILS
• Head of State: Player Choice
  • Other Important Characters (meta control)
  • None - Player freedom available
• Population: 94,964,006
• Claim Starting Allotments (IE. Special Starting Scenario)
  • Begins under the protection of the NPC "Imperial Alfheimr"

Things to Consider
The Imperial Protectorate of the Italian Social Republic begins in the unique position of being forgotten in large part by its recent conquerors, and having seen rebuilding investment under the deceased Aesir. The claim ostensibly has multiple factions but players must be cautious as the wrong move to quickly might see the gaze of Imperial Alfheimr or possibly the Grand Imperium of Europa (among other claims) turn towards either putting down a rebellion or imperial conquest.
The Imperial Protectorate of the Italian Social Republic has access to all Alfheim technology, and thanks to the rebuilding investment - has the ability to produce all of it.

The Republic of New Álfheimr

• DETAILS
• Head of State: Steven Armstrong
  • Other Important Characters (meta control)
  • Kyrr von Lohengrin (Former Foreign Affairs Minister under Dederick)
  • Ingel Faedryk (Former Reichsfuhrer-SS under Dederick)
  • Svipul von Lohengrin (Former Imperial Spymaster under Dederick)
• Population: 143,863,000
• Claim Starting Allotments (IE. Special Starting Scenario)
  • Has access to large portions of in-production Alfheimr military equipment (refer to Tion's posts) - Continental European in-production units largely destroyed unless in NPC territories.
  • Has a secret alliance with certain NPC claims (informed to the player)

Things to Consider
The Republic of New Álfheimr while a democracy, still considers itself the true successor to Dederick von Lohengrin, and has the geographic, military, and economic position to be immediately independent should its cards be played correctly. They are the strongest military of the three main successors, and similarly have a strong geopolitical starting position, alongside a network of secret diplomatic alliances.
The RNA is in a unique position to quickly assert itself as an independent state, having inherited the same technology base as the Grand Imperium - but in greater existing asset quantities. The RNA also has a large portion of the former GAE's "android" soldiers - making for a lethal and incredibly loyal army right out of the gates.

ALFHEIM CLAIMS MILITARY SPLIT

Questions please send on discord through private messages or comment on this post.

i like Warhammer 40k, but 40k doesnt afford you the abilty to let you play your own custom character or faction if it isnt up to certain specs in tournaments(lore strict rules). and running an army battle in dungeons and dragons is overly complicated unless you ignore a bunch of rolls and rules.
i propose a blend of both. who's cannon takes place in the cosmos of perspective.
(you make your own faction cannon. )
each unit type has user generated has one data sheet, each named character you have would have their own data sheet.
the models can be 3-D printed or kitbashed, but they must be at 1/36 scale. essentially one infantry= one of those cheap plastic army men standing at 5 cm tall.
from here, this was typed up before today, by a few months. there is no campaign.
but i would imagine a new fandom in table top roleplay would be born regardless
___________________________________________________________________________________________
WELCOME TO BATTLEPOSTINGS T.T.R.P.G.
A tabletop rpg for diy, model painting, kit bashing, 3-DPrinting, and plastic army battling enthusiasts.
all parts of this game are user generated, with the exception of the rules. Though u/Khorde__the__Husk sent this to a bunch of redditors for help in balancing the game and setting up basic play structure.
Things to note:
· You must have one “advisor” per two warlords in the session. Advisors, act as the game master to make sure no one is cheating. If there is confusion on what kind of weapon a unit has in their hands or equipped to their armor, the Advisor has final say. The advisor is supposed to keep the game fair.
· In theory you could have as many players as you want, but no more than four is recommended because turns consist of multiple phases that are meant to organize the battle strategy for each player.
· Players are encouraged to kit bash, 3-D print, or purchase traditional plastic army men. For the sake of scaling, follow the scaling of the image below. But you must have your own general. It is recommended that your general be unique, make it yours. Have fun.
· Players can make their own campaigns and lore. Such attempts are encouraged. For the purposes of release, you can follow the campaign I have written.
· For any session, you will need a handwritten or typed general’s reference stats Dossier, 1D20, tape measure, and an army of which you will fight with. (painted)
· When rolling on a check, higher is always better. 20 is always a success
· Your armies stats are fixed and defined in this document. Your general’s stats are dictated by the roll of a 1d20. These stats are:
o morale
o Movement speed
o Accuracy
o Health points
o Punch
· Turns are split into phases.
o bombardment
o Movement
o Attack/counter attack
· The different types of units are:
o Infantry
o Armor
o Airborne
o B.A.M.(BIG ASS MACHINES)

· We play at a 1/36 scale. All models are at that scale.

• TERRAIN AND COVER

make your own terrain and cover. kitbashing, 3-D printing encouraged. terrain is the battleground, the floor the pieces and obstacles stand on. obsticles can be anything. debris, nature, etc. obstacles are cover. if an attacking piece can see the defending piece in its entirety, the defending piece is in the open. if the defending piece is partially seen by the attacking
· Ability checks logic below:
20=crit hit/sucsess
1=jam(gun)/woopsie(melee)/crit fail
To succeed , a unit must roll their combined ability score. This is their base ability +general ability. Debuffs such as kickback only are applied to whatever you rolled when you roll for an ability check.
Regardless, the fundamental rules of this game will apply to your creations. these are an assortment of rules designed to keep the game fair and guard against unfair players(referred to as God-Emperors or God-empresses) and hopefully combat power creep.
Now lets expand upon these ideas so you can have fun kit-bashing and army smashing quicker.
GENERAL’S (named character) STAT DOSSIER
Your army’s stats are based on your general’s stat Dossier. The leader of a nation is oft a good indication of how high of a quality their army’s going to be.
The first thing you should write is your general’s name, then write their bio. Their bio includes their background, their homeland, what politics are involved (if any). It is not recommended that you write a novel, you have a game to play. What are the weapons that your general will have on their person? What are their character traits? How will those traits affect how the game is played?
The next thing to do is to make a picture of your General that resembles the piece you kit-bashed for your general to be. It can be menacing, wholesome, serious or whacky. As long as the design choices resemble what your army has for their design and your general’s character traits. It doesn’t have to be hand drawn. A photo of your piece will suffice. no general may have a skill number higher than 16.
ARMY STAT DOSSIER:
what good is a king without a kingdom?
terrible.
each type of unit gets one ARMY STAT DOSSIER. you can have as many scout infantry you want, but you need a dossier on how they are deployed, what weapons they use, and most importantly, THEIR STATS. make sure your unit type description is comprehensive including what styles of combat they are trained for. this could influence your decisions on how you play. give them lore for shits and giggles. no unit may have a skill number higher than 15.
WEAPON STAT DOSSIER
this is the list of weapon types and their ability modifiers.
when attacking bare handed, you go by your unmodified stats.
STATS EXPLAINED AND BORING SHIT
Now comes the part with the dice. You only need 1d20. This is to reduce the confusion.
· Morale
Rolled by 1d20, checked by 1d20 per unit.
Morale is basically moral law. How far will your troops go to follow your orders? If your morale over a given unit is 1, the unit in question is shell shocked for one whole turn, to be marked with a yellow slip. If your unit is shell shocked, it is traumatized to where it cant follow any orders on the next turn. If for some reason the morale hits 0, that unit defects and must be marked with a red token. Units that defect are now under control of your enemy. If defected units hit 0 authority again, it simply dies. Suicide. Cowards way out.
The Morale that your general has over friendly units is base unit morale +the general’s modifier. Your general’s base Morale is the number you rolled the 1d20 for. If for any reason your general’s morale score goes below 0, the general must rally all nearby troops (within 30cm) to protect the general for one turn on the next turn. If your general’s morale hits zero, you get shell shocked, and your general cannot take action for one turn and if your general was within line of sight of any other allied unit, the observing unit cannot take action either.
· Movement Speed
Rolled by 1d20, measured by cm on a measuring tape or meter stick because inches suck.
Movement speed is how much ground a given unit can cover. Unless your object has a punch score higher than the hp of an obstacle, or can fly, you will have to go around the obstacle. There are exceptions. If the obstacle is below the knee of an infantry unit, the infantry or whatever can climb over at the cost of the individual unit climbing modifier.
The base movement speed of your general influences the movement speed of your troops. To find a troops total movement speed:
Your unit’s base movement speed + your general’s base movement speed = total troop movement speed. See army stat dossier or named character stat dossier.

· Accuracy
Rolled by a 1d20, checked by 1d20 per unit
Accuracy must be rolled every time a unit attacks an enemy unit.
Accuracy is basically the chance of your selected troop hitting their targets. Different weapons and vehicles have different accuracy modifiers(aka kickback or x-range), and different types of troops have different base accuracies. Accuracy can affect enemy/friendly Health points or morale. If a shot hits near enough to a troop, or makes a kill close enough to another troop, the troops affected must undergo a morale check with the exception to nearby friendlies of any troop who gets an enemy kill.
Explosives and artillery have an area of effect. any troop within the inner blast radius (with the exception of troops behind sufficient cover) is dead. Any in sufficient cover, or within the outer blast radius must make a morale check. Sufficient cover is a piece of the environment which has an assigned hp that is higher than the punch of an explosion.

Small arms fire requires line of sight for targeting. The path of bullets is a straight line, keep this in mind when deciding collateral damage. Friendly fire is a thing and it is a war-crime. If you want to play nightmare mode, your general gets summoned to a military court tribunal and executed if three friendly troops or more die as a result of friendly fire that occurred by your command.

Melee combat can only be conducted during movement phases. If its melee vs gun there is the variable of line of sight. If the melee unit is within line of sight, the gun unit has advantage. If the melee unit is outside of line of sight of the gun unit, the melee unit has advantage.
To find your troop’s accuracy:
general’s base accuracy+ troop base accuracy- kickback. The higher the accuracy the better.

· Punch
Punch is how much damage a unit causes to another unit or object should they pass their accuracy check. Different weapons pack a different punch. Remember to add their bonus to the punch check roll.
When attacking an obstacle or object, units must roll against the hp of the object. If the roll lands on a number that meets or beats the hp, the object or obstacle is destroyed.(marked with red sticky note and can be traversed as if the object was destroyed. Bullets pass thru within reasonable trajectories, no ricochet)
When attacking units, whatever is rolled is subtracted from the victim’s hp. The victim can only move at half of their normal movement speed afterward.(treaded, wheeled, and airborne vehicles excluded from the debuff even if they are hit. They are treated as obstacles with the addition of the passed accuracy check requirement.)
· Health points(hp)
Health points are what determines how close your units or general is to kicking the bucket. In any game mode, If your general kicks the bucket, you lose. If you have no units other than your general, you lose and your general must go into hiding. each unit and general may have no more than 10hp. powercreep is bad
UNIT CLASSES
Unit Classes are determined by how big the individual unit is, and how it traverses the battlefield. The smallest and most common all the way to the biggest and most intimidating of units are all fit into several categories by what they look like. To solve disagreements on what class your unit is, the advisor has final say. Disagreements should be easy to avoid if you design your units properly. It would be useful to stick to a theme. Candy punk, steampunk, horror, medieval, sci-fi, and historical designs are all fine, you could even come up with your own. A theme will be better for discerning friendlies from you enemies. At the same time, make your units discernable enough that players and especially advisors can easily determine what classes your units are.
· Your general/warlord, whatchacallit
Your general is the most valuable unit because it is what you have to control your forces. Without a wise and strategic leader, your forces will fall into disarray and you will lose the war. You can only have one general, and you made it yours. Kitbashing and 3D printing would likely be your most common means of gaining a general. They must take resemblance of the general on your general stat dossier they can swim in water terrain for two turns before they drown.
· Infantry
The easiest to acquire and kit bash. This allows for vast hordes of infantry, or small fireteams, or something in between. Find your play style. Your infantry should be as tall as the plastic green army men in the image below. These men and women are the bravest of them all.
they can swim in water terrain for two turns before they drown.
· Armor
Mainly made up of vehicles and smaller mechanical suits, must be land based. Expect tanks, jeeps ,Humvees, calvary mounted animals etc. here is an image I ripped for scale as to the largest example of armor you can have. Not my drawing. Its basically the largest tank ever built replace the man in the image with one infantry and you have your scale. Or 0.283333333 m* 0.283333333 m *0.5m
these machines will break down in water terrain.
· Airborne
Airborne units can only fly. They can drop bombs, airdrop armotroops, and attack up to one target per gun that the aircraft is equipped with(within range) as they move. Their biggest weakness is anti-aircraft weaponry and enemy aircraft weapons. How big can an aircraft be?
2.44 meters. X 2.44 meters by 0.60 meters is your maximum for all airborne units.
any airborne that fly like a plane have a +4 to their movement stat but can only bomb ground units 15 cm in front and attack any unit that is in front of it
anything that flies like a helicopter does not have this buff or debuff, they can shoot at any target, but can only use missiles for up to 15 cm on ground units.
NAVAL VEHICLES
Naval vehicles can be big or small, but they can only operate in the designated water terrain area. they can carry troops, they can fire artillery, depth charges, missiles, torpedoes, and submarines can hide below water for three turns before air runs out. but they can be spotted by sonar. if a submerged vessel is within 10 cm of an enemy surface or submarine vessel, the enemy vessel can act as if they know where the submerged vessel is even if the submerged vessel is still submerged.
· B.A.M. ‘s
Big Ass Machines are basically giant robots and massive land ships. These can be Game breaking depending on how you build them and how big you build them. They can fire upon one target per weapon. how big Can these be? They cannot be more than 1.5 meters tall or take up a ground area larger than 4 meters. Players are not allowed to use functioning motor vehicles including, but not limited to cars, trucks, busses, etc. rule of thumb, if you can ride it, you can’t play it. It might as well be just fan art. The maximum distance these can move at any time is 2000cm. to move these, they must make a special movement check. War machines of that size can get stuck easily, so subtract your general’s movement speed from your final roll on each check. If they are larger than the specified limits, you’ve built a giant immobilized obstacle for one turn.
Mobile terrain essentially is a whole battlefield or obstacle of its own. The biggest difference is that anything other than B.A.M. compatible units that are attached to the B.A.M'S can’t be removed from the B.A.M.'S. Artillery such as main guns can’t move, only rotate. same with S.A.M.S. , C.R.A.M.S., and anti aircraft weaponry.

EQUIPMENT AND ARMAMENT
Guns and RE’S(ranged explosives)Require a reload period(one full turn) every so often. Dual wield is an ability that is only applicable to infantry equipment . dual wield only applies when two identical weapons are in both hands of a single unit. Range is how far a weapon can fire before a debuff is added to your accuracy roll. For every 10 cm beyond the stated range, an x-range debuff of -1 is added.
Overheat can only occur on weapons that are labeled with overheat. Every time a gun with overheat is about to fire , a coin must be tossed. If the coin lands on heads, the gun overheats. Overheating will cause the unit to explode. The explosion will deal 1d20 damage to anyone/anything within a 6 cm radius. You only need to roll once.
Cone is a special debuff. Weapons with cone Can only fire at sequential targets within 25 degrees of original target.
im having trouble with deciding the individual weapon stats. so ive decided that i am going to leave those up to you. (the moment i hear people are getting into fights IRL, i will be putting in an elaboration which will settle all disputes regarding equipment and artillery... and i wont be happy about it.)
players are encouraged to record their battles in battle reports and post it online in their relevant subreddits. if they win/lose, then the player is encouraged to come up with a lore reason for any change in tactics, named characters(generals), or stats.
an army is considered overpowered if they can take out all opponents in as little as 10 turns. they must be nerfed if this happens. dont forget to add a lore reason for this occurrence in the battle report.
unlike overpowered, underpowered armies can be taken out in 10 turns. they must be buffed if this happens. dont forget to add a lore reason for this occurrence in the battle report.
this is sci-fantasy/high fantasy, battles are supposed to be epic and economically exaggerated.
write the name of the weapon, the type of weapon.(melee or gun) and its accuracy and punch modifiers.(bare hands is melee and equal to. magic is gun)
spells must be vetted in good faith by advisors prior to the game to prevent game breakage. spells may not kill units or generals in one blow. spells effects can only last one turn unless its a healing spell. healing spells cannot heal more than 5 health points at a time per unit. write out the spells you have for your units and have them vetted by an advisor, advisor will determine gamebreakability of the spell. if spell is determined to be game breaking, mid game, the advisor will have the offending spell removed and the turn undone. at wich point the offending player effectively must alter their strategy in the spirit of good sportsmanship.) There are three approved arcane focuses, wands, staves, and hand casting, (one must not make them look like the caster is going to punch something, have them hold an orb or something.)
(the moment i hear that people get into IRL fights over spells, i will make a list of approved spells and a LONG LIST of forbidden spells. and no one will be happy. )
THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE
Dont be a dick, be a good sport, and have fun.breaking thegame intentionally is a dick move. advisors are encouraged to post their reports of game breaking spells so it may help me in the event Khorde__the__Husk has to revise the rules.

It's going to be way easier to get you guys battle reports more consistently!
Today's battle report is the lowest point score I've ever played; a 300 point duel inside an urban setting! Perhaps this is a small part of a larger engagement of sorts?
This game features a unique layout that would be hard to replicate in physical play; a bridge over a deep river. The dark blue of the river counts as Deep Water terrain; furthermore, it's the lowest level of elevation, so the pavement, bridge, and buildings (which are High Ground anyway) all count as High Ground against the river. The centermost control point is the bridge's center, making it a deadly choke point!
Being an ultra low point game, squad composition is absolutely crucial. You have very little to work with, so you need to maximize your forces with what's available.
Principality of Zeon
Yours truly is running the Zeeks again. My strategy is simple; lock down the center lane, and try to buff cannon fodder to punch above their weight class. I've chosen a Zaku I Sniper as my unit to build around; I've upgraded them to an Ace, and made them my Commander. I'm going to give him Grand Strategist and Commando, making him extremely hard to target, able to give my Zaku I's and II's free Focus Actions en masse, and lock down the center lane while on top of a building, trying to cover my advancing forces.

• x1 Zaku I Sniper Ace Commander (Grand Strategist, Commando)
  
• x2 Zaku II (Machine Gun)
  
• x2 Zaku II (Magella Cannon)
  
• x5 Zaku I (OYW Playtest Unit)
  

Earth Federation Forces
Daisucc again is my opponent. He has a smaller team with a diverse set of weapons; three GM Ground Types, and a GM Striker Ace as his Commander. His Ace has Elusive and Close Combat Expert; both very complementary to its strengths. However, that's not what has me worried; it's a close combat Ace with Decimator. This is actually an extremely potent choice, because he could easily use Tear Through The Ranks on a unit with a highly proven track record to swing Momentum in his favor, putting us at a difference of FIVE if successful. We're only starting with three! I will need to play this very, very carefully.

• x1 GM Striker Ace Commander (Close Combat Expert, Elusive, Decimator)
  
• x1 GM Ground Type (Bazooka)
  
• x1 GM Ground Type (Beam Rifle)
  
• x1 GM Ground Type (Machine Gun)
  

Round 1
In a rare turn of events, I win the die roll! I distribute my Focus Actions to my Zaku II’s and a Zaku I. I start off with an artillery barrage, trying to force Daisucc’s hand. He responds by targeting the cover of his assailant directly, blasting down the building and toppling it. Uncool, man!
I push forward with a Zaku II, trying to get pressure on the bridge. He sends out his Machine Gun GM, and puts a few rounds into him. Fortunately, that means my Zaku I Sniper can cleanly…
…not kill the GM? Didn’t roll as well as I’d hoped, because my opponent pops two Momentum to save him. Bleh. Fortunately, my Zaku II survives the Beam Rifler attacking him, and my other Magella Cannon Zaku II finished off the Machine Gunner. His GM Striker vainly fires off his Machine Gun before taking cover behind a… we’ll say an exceptionally large… truck, of sorts, on the bridge. My Zaku I’s take up High Ground positions to conclude the Round.
Round 2
This round was a blur, because it mostly involved a lot of people shooting at each other, missing, and just barely being out of one another’s ranges. Our strategies have us at odds; he needs to advance to cause havoc, but I have the range and numbers advantage, 3-to-1 at this point. I need to hold back until the right time, or the Striker Ace will make victory impossible, using my larger team size against me. He manages to knock out my Zaku II on the bridge, but has to retreat behind cover in order to not get wiped against my many High Ground Zaku I’s with Focus Actions. It’s tense!
Round 3
My opponent wins the die roll. He advances his Bazooka GM out from cover, and knocks out a Zaku I that had crossed the river with Full Throttle last round. However, the other Machine Gun Zaku II on the bridge responds by jumping on the “truck,” using the Accelerate Pilot Skill to get the position, use a Focus Action and High Ground to get four free hits, pluse another three from Rapid Fire…
And rolls a bunch of crits! He has enough movement to hop down to protect himself.
We’re getting somewhere now, but there’s a problem. See, my higher quantity of forces leaves me with the distinct risk of my opponent earning too many Victory Points to win, especially if I can’t nail down the Striker Ace. At this point, my opponent is actually tying the game 2-2… and the Striker could turn this around very fast.
This is emphasized by the Beam Rifle GM popping on the building it’s behind with Accelerate, putting a clean hole in the cockpit of my Zaku II with a Magella Cannon across the bridge with Tactical Advantage, and hopping back down. 3-2. Shit.
I continue to jockey for positions, moving my Zaku I Sniper off its perch with Full Throttle, with a new strategy in mind…
Round 4
I win the die roll, and push my Zaku I Sniper forward JUST ENOUGH to get my opponent at 25.3 inches away. This is a crucial distance for the Zaku I Sniper; just within Sensors Range, just outside of Rapid Fire. This is the ideal kill distance… and also allows me to Target Lock, and shoot through the Striker’s cover…
But it lives! Augh! How?!
I lose another Zaku I. 4-2. Victory is looking poor, unless I get that Striker Ace, which would put us at 2-5… another Zaku I manages to use Rapid Fire and a Focus Action to knock it down. It’s real close to the GM Striker… this could be rough.
But, as my Magella Zaku II pops its Focus Action to get an extra hit on him, the cover of the Striker collapses! This is the crucial thing I needed to clinch the win! Exposed, it rapidly capitulates to Focus Action enhanced Machine Gun barrages, securing the win.
Conclusion
This was a fun, tense game! I feel that this could’ve swung in a different direction entirely if I wasn’t playing really conservatively. If my opponent had brought even one Artillery Cannon on a Ground Type or a Guntank MP, this could’ve been a very different game! Even still, his units were capable of much higher damage than my many, many cannon fodder units, and it was only through careful planning did I prevent my opponent’s lethal strategy from properly going off.
I have another report in the works! Stay tuned!

A foreword, were on a waiting list for an assessment and have been for a year. Either autism or ADHD or both. There are suitable signs like food aversion, sensory overload, hyperfocus special interests.
So, I started swimming lessons with him when he was around 2, parent and toddler classes. It was a nightmare. he'd cling, would fight the planned lessons activities and be more interested in his own thing and refuse to get his head wet. And meltdowns were common. When he turned 4 I gave, even though the tutor was nice, all his friends were moving up to the next group when the parents stay out of the water but we couldn't trust him to not run off and to her follow instructions.
I gave it a year. He's in school, aged 5 1/2 (UK) and has been for the best part of a year now. So I was kinda hoping that the normalisation of other adult authority figure would be more commonplace for him.
So I rebooked him for lessons as it's an important life skill. This is a small group lesson of 4 kids with 2 teachers. The first lesson was rocky as he's scared of water getting in his eyes but the goggles I got with the foam strap did the trick and he adjusted and ended up liking it. I THOUGHT I'd cracked it! Comfy goggles check, no emotional support mummy in the water to distract check!!
But the next 2 lessons have turned into all round frustrating failures. He. won't. Listen. He's not scared now, cool, but he won't stay put, tries to play with the other floaties, the LOUDEST child there, can't keep still when he waits to get in. He's stimming like his at a preschool rave!! Jumping, smacking his head, gibbering, giggling. He's excited, he's said so himself but then he unreachable, so wrapped up in the excitement and the stimming that both me and the teachers are calling him and to calm down but he doesn't hear (not a hearing issue, more of an in his own world issue) one of the teachers has to stay with him at all times I feel bad as it's effecting the other children's lessons.
On top of that, when the teacher tells him what to do and he does respond, he normally says "I don't know how" even when shown. That part I think it anxiety and overthinking (been there myself)
So this is more of a question to parents of neurodivigent children. HOW do you deal with these stimming lockouts?
I spoke to my husband to cancel the lessons as I don't think he's ready, it's not fair on the other kids or the teachers. My son wants to keep going, as parroted back at me it's an important life skill and my husband wants to give him one more chance, I said he can do it then as I've had enough (and I can see how that going to go, badly)
My son's behaviour, before and after was great. But the moment we passed the threshold of the pool room is was hyperactive stimming hell. My husband thinks it's sound and lighting, same as supermarkets as he can get like this there too.
Any advise would be grand to help deal with the behaviour, as for the solution for swimming I truly believe cancelling is the right thing to do but would 1 to 1 be any better? Or do I wait another year?

Heres my idea for an open world crime based action adventure game:
I want a modern open world game with modern graphics, modern physics, driving and combat mechanics, the whole 9 yards, but it takes place in New Orleans LA in the Early 2000’s, the game would have hundreds and hundreds of licensed cars, licensed songs ALL period correct and as many licensed brands as i can get in the game to make the setting more resemble real life, we’ve seen so many fantasy brands and fake cities and companies based off real life companies and i want to change that, i want all electronics of the era to be 100% accessible and usable in the game, everything from Motorola Razr’s, PDA’s, Laptops and The Internet in FULL early 2000’s style, Alpine and Sony X-Plod Car Headunits etc
Im going to say this now: there would be ZERO references or mentions of Hurricane Katrina in this game, the timeline would be 2002 to Summer 2005 before Katrina, Katrina wouldn’t be mentioned as it wouldn’t exist
The story is about a young transgender woman in her 20’s who lives in the Lower 9th Ward of New Orleans, she drives a beat up 80’s-Early 90’s Pontiac at the start of the game and lives with her sister, at the beginning of the game nobody respects her, misgenders her and deadnames her, the idea is to hit the nail on the head with how trans people are treated on a daily basis, she progresses through the underground hustling ranks of New Orleans after being offered a job and proves to be someone who will go to great lengths to get the job done, everything from street racing in a scene that fully captures Early 2000’s tuner culture, winning cars in pinkslip races, shootouts from deals gone bad in nightclubs, encounters with corrupt police officers etc, at the end of the game shes a wealthy kingpin in the city and has earned the respect of mostly everyone and everyone speaks highly of her, i also want to slip in alot of little references to games and franchises i love like Earthbound, Clock Tower, Tony Hawk’s Underground 2, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Bad Boys, Need For Speed etc and make the user interface and menus feel like its from the Early 2000’s but also pay homage and respect to New Orleans Mardi Gras and jazz culture and for the world to be crammed full of life with NPC’s, animals, weather, random events, random encounters and interactions and basically how it would be in real life
The map i want to be the most accurate virtual recreation of New Orleans ever done just circa 2002-2005, i want as many enterable interiors in the game as possible, i want to include everything from Jazzland Theme Park, the Bayou areas, Lake Pontchatrain, East New Orleans, The SuperDome, the then New Orleans Arena next door, Shopping Malls, Car Dealerships for each brand in the game, Upper class Neighborhoods, Trailer Parks, Nightclubs, bars and of course the French quarter and Canal Street
I also want to take customization to a whole new level, give a Sims like ability to customize, furnish and build your home and character however you like, and of course the Early 2000’s fashion will be in full swing here, i want the most in-depth car customization of any game ever, its the early 2000’s after all, i want body kits, bumpers, hoods, wings, headlights and tail lights, the ability to customize the headunit in your car, put subwoofers in the trunk, rims, spinners, donks, lambo doors, underglow and of course in depth performance upgrades ALL parts be name brand, like Bomex body kits, TYC tail lights, JL Audio Amps, Subwoofers, Lowenhart, Lexani, Asanti, DUB and TIS rims, APR aluminum wings etc, i basically want to make the customization in Need For Speed Underground 2 look like a mobile game
And the car list, i want to have over 600 fully licensed cars in the game minimum and be fully customizable down to every single part, since the plot of the game starts in 2002 and ends in 2005, i want NOTHING newer than 2006 in the game
Cadillac Escalade, Hummer H2 and Chrysler 300C are a must, but i also want to have the 99-04 Mustang, both V6 and GT, Ferrari 360 Modena, Spider and Challenge Stradale, Ferrari 550, Lamborghini Murcièlago and Gallardo, but also include more common lesser loved cars like the Chevy Cavalier, Pontiac Sunfire, Pontiac Grand Am, Geo Metro, Dodge Neon, Chrysler Concorde, Chevy Celebrity, Ford Taurus etc, and of course i’ll have bikes, boats, planes, helicopters and all other types of vehicles
Yeah its a GTA/Saints Row type game, but i want to raise the bar, push boundaries and do something different thats never been done before

Homeworld 3 is on track to becoming my least favorite HW game. Is it terrible? No. Is it great? Also no. Is it *good*? Eeeh... also no, not really. But it's also not bad. It's very mid.
Homeworld 3 *definitely* does not have the original’s gripping story or sense of mystery and player freedom.
It also does not have Cataclysm’s incredibly rewarding rags-to-riches feeling.
It also also does not have Homeworld 2’s polished gameplay.
And it also does not have Desert’s of Kharak fresh new take on the genre and franchise.
It’s okay. That’s about it.
Visuals and UI
It's stunningly beautiful, like every HW game. Space is gorgeous, filled with visual spectacle and lovingly detailed ships and environments (though frankly, space battles in this game are visually far less impressive than any previous installment). I'm not a sound guy so I have very little to say except that for my money the sound design is actually more impressive than the graphics. Everything from explosions to weapon effects to the background chatter sounds lovely.
UI is clunky as hell, I'm about six hours in and I'm still not friends with the camera and I can never orient myself quickly. Ships often feel like they're not responding to orders – I might be wrong, but I find myself going back to double-check that I definitely ordered those corvettes to guard that frigate etc. It feels much more micro-managey than previous installments.
Gameplay
Lots of features introduced in HW2 are gone: Fighters and corvettes no longer belong to squads, you’re back to each fighter being an individual unit. Modules are gone – you don’t build certain types of sensors or research modules or cloaks or fire control modules etc. I’ve not played around with carriers much yet but it seems they also come out of the construction bay completely finished, without any additions you can make, unlike in HW2 where you could specialize them. If there is an equivalent to the Research Module from HW1 or any other way to affect research speed or to give you more options the game hasn't introduced it yet (I'm on mission 8).
The number of units in the game also seems a little disappointing. I've unlocked three types of fighters, four types of frigates and at least one capital ship but only one type of corvette? Leads me to believe there only is one type, which would be very disappointing.
Minor detail but the ship design is for the most part really dull, too. Even quite closely zoomed in it's hard to distinguish one ship from another - their silhouettes just blend together.
In short, HW3 has less choices you can make and much more to keep you constantly busy. In 1998 this gameplay was fine (although far better executed) and in 2003 the sequel gave it a much-needed polish that honestly holds up OK to this day, imo. But HW3 has regressed back to what HW1 did in ’98 and then stripped off some of the polish so beware this plays like a very dated game.
Player agency
The game takes a lot of liberties with player agency: They've opted to remove the option to let you decide when you’re done with one level and proceed to the next. Unlike previous games (at least unlike HW1 and Cata) once you complete the last mission objective you enter a cutscene and the level ends. No time to gather resources or replace casualties taken.
One of the missions also takes a break for the Mothership to be repaired off-screen and when you are put back into control the game gives you a bunch of mine-laying corvettes, defense turrets and a carrier - units you've not researched, not built and that the game decided you should have for the next mission. The mission after that provides you with a small fleet of ships to conduct a raid – you have no hand in selecting these ships, they’re not taken from your own fleet, they’re just magicked into existence because the game decided you needed them for the story. Disappointing for a game series that used to let you build your own fleet more or less uninstructed and make it work (or not) on your own terms.
Furthermore this raid is set up to you as the player in the following way: Intel tells you to capture two disabled enemy ships - but doesn't explain why, just that he 'has a plan'. Later, during a cutscene, that plan is revealed: They are going to use these ships to sneak a strike force into the enemy camp and deliver a knock-out blow. The cutscene transitions to a cutscene where these two captured enemy ships hyperspace in, deliver said strike force and then hypserspace out. You as the player don't get to prepare for the plan, you don't get to experience sneaking in with your stolen ships, avoiding patrols or anything like that - you're not even told what the plan is until it's happening. The game tells you to do something without telling you why. Then you get to watch the plan you weren't told about begin to unfold in a cutscene and then you get to execute the plan with some resources the game created specifically for this mission. You are not a part of this plan until the very end.
Story
The story is a bit messy - though this isn't entirely its fault. HW2 already made a mess of the story of this world. The motivation for you being in control of *another* mothership and once again being given a mighty starting host of a Resource Collector and five scouts despite the Hiigarans by now being major galactic player is no more or less ham-fisted than it was in HW2. HW2 was the game who leaned fully into mysticism and Chosen One prophecies and muddled up the genre, can't really blame HW3 for not course-correcting.
However the game is *way* too in love with exposition dumping. One mission involves navigating the Mothership through an asteroid field and am not kidding when I say that playing through the mission only took marginally longer than the cutscene once I reached the end. It was five minutes if not more. The cutscenes are gorgeous and the voice acting great, but they end up becoming more distracting than rewarding. They also do not go at all for the classic Homeworld look, nor do they attempt for a twist on them like Deserts of Kharak; they’re just pre-rendered full-on cutscenes with people carrying out full conversations to advance the plot.
Honestly I half-expected for there to be a dialogue wheel after a while. The plot is fairly unsurprising so far. Everything is just very predictable and uninspired.
The story focuses on Imogen S'Jet, a descendant of Karan S'Jet. I didn't mind this switch in narrative to follow single individuals so clearly in Deserts of Kharak because that game felt so different overall (in a good way, I very much enjoyed DoK); a prequel not set in space exploring Kushan society rather than Hiigaran society like Cata did. But in a full-blown 'proper' Homeworld game I much prefer the inner workings of the ships to be a little more mysterious and up to the imagination, and for the story to follow the epic tale of *a people*, not of *persons*.
Conclusion
I backed this game on Fig years ago and I’m glad I did – if I’d paid €59 for it now and gotten it in the state it’s in I’d have felt cheated. I can’t comment on the Multiplayer or the War Mode – I only really play HW for the Singleplayer Campaigns.
Fans of Homeworld *might* enjoy it if they go in with low expectations. New players will probably find this game enjoyable enough, if a little basic and clunky to play. Neither should pay €59 for it, though.
Presentation - stunning. Gameplay – disappointing. Story - meh. 6/10

It was an overcast morning in late spring, the kind of day where you can't decide if it's going to pour rain or clear up. The weather was perfectly indecisive, much like my feelings about the intricate details that had consumed the last several months of planning this monumental event. You see, the wedding was set to be held at the grand yet somewhat clichéd 'Whispering Willows' event hall. The name alone should give you an idea of the kind of pretentious place it was, with its overly manicured gardens and staff who wore constant, painfully forced smiles.
The day started with me waking up at exactly 6:30 AM, as I had meticulously planned. My schedule was packed with all the banal but necessary activities that precede a wedding: a light breakfast of exactly two boiled eggs and a slice of whole wheat toast (no butter), a shower that I timed to last no longer than seven minutes to conserve both water and time, and a session of silent meditation where I tried to find some semblance of peace amidst the chaos.
By 10:00 AM, I was at the venue, ensuring every napkin was folded in a precise bishop's hat fold, not the Dutch crown fold that the staff had mistakenly started with. I corrected this with a slight twitch of irritation. As I roamed the venue, I checked off trivial things on my checklist: the placement of the 150 meticulously chosen floral centerpieces, the angle of the 200 chiavari chairs (which I adjusted from 90 to 85 degrees to encourage more intimate conversation), and the volume of the background classical music (which should be exactly 40 decibels, no more, no less).
Around 11:47 AM, as I was verifying that each of the 250 champagne flutes was free of smudges and positioned 2.5 inches from the edge of the reception tables, Eric, my college friend, approached me. His presence was as sudden as it was unnecessary at that moment. He wore a suit that was one shade too dark for the daytime event, and his tie was asymmetrically knotted.
"Hey," Eric started, clearing his throat while I pretended not to notice the new watermark he had just put on one of the pristine flutes with his thumb. "Can we talk a sec?"
I glanced at my watch, noting that this unscheduled conversation was eating into the 12 minutes I had allocated to inspect the DJ's equipment setup. But Eric had that look — the kind where you know you're about to be dragged into a conversation you didn't schedule or want.
"Sure, Eric," I said, masking my annoyance with a tone flatter than the soda left out from last night's rehearsal dinner.
He pulled me slightly aside, right near the painstakingly positioned ice sculpture of Cupid, which was now melting at an anticipated rate of 0.5 inches per hour, a detail I noted with a frown.
"You're, uh, coming off a bit strong with all this," Eric muttered, gesturing vaguely at my clipboard and then at the surrounding spectacle of my own design. "It’s your big day, man. You should relax. You're too... I don’t know, edgy?"
I stared at him, the words 'too edgy' echoing in my mind like a bad song on repeat. Too edgy? I was merely ensuring that the event adhered to a standard that would prevent any future nightmares about a less-than-perfect wedding day.
"Thanks for the input, Eric," I said, my voice as dry as the unseasoned chicken I had vetoed from the menu last week. "I’ll take that under advisement."
He nodded, seemingly relieved to have dispensed his wisdom, and wandered off to undoubtedly commit more fingerprints to glass surfaces.
Returning to my checklist, I noted the time of Eric’s interruption and adjusted my schedule, allowing 30 fewer seconds at each remaining task to make up for lost time. The rest of the day proceeded in a blur of similarly thrilling activities: verifying the pH level of the water in the vases to ensure optimal flower freshness, triple-checking the seating chart to avoid the disastrous potential of Aunt Marge sitting next to Cousin Larry, and discussing the viscosity of the gravy with the caterer to ensure it poured smoothly without being too watery.
By the time the actual ceremony started, I had recalibrated the entire event down to the second, all while pondering Eric's words. Too edgy? Perhaps, but in a world full of chaos, I was the master of wedding logistics, turning what could have been an eventful and vibrant day into a perfectly planned, substance-lacking sequence of timed events.
And so, as I stood there, exchanging vows in a ceremony that was timed to coincide with the exact moment the sun was highest in the sky (for optimal lighting, naturally), I couldn't help but reflect on Eric's advice. Maybe he was right; perhaps I could have been less edgy. But then again, the day went off without a hitch, exactly as planned, right down to the last, predictable, perfectly unremarkable minute.
My friend Eric has been with me since we were kids, we grew up on the same street actually. Is he wrong for doing this?

We reflect the senses of God to the mind and the senses of the mind to God. It's a link between the two like how twins can sometimes perceive the same sensations through each others senses. When you look in a mirror you hear your own voice reflected through your voice box and mouth to your own ears and both the reflection in the mirror share the same qualities, which includes the same frequencies you perceive as a human being. Presummuably this would mean the same scents and tastes too. In the manner of a dream you would be able to feel the same physical sensations using your limbs and other parts of your body. In a grand scale this is to say that just as you are sensing through your own 5 senses (well sometimes the thoughts are a 6th) you are in the same sense able to feel what others feel and should be able to do so indirectly through your mind and intuition. There have even most recently been studies that have proved precognition and telepathy. Here's a Youtube video that talks about it. Study on Precognition Has Some Interesting Results - Squaring the Circle: A Randall Carlson Podcast.
I'm looking forward to a near future where people drop their materialistic views as both researchers and laypeople and just see reality as it is because there really is no denying what is. I also fantasize about a time where it can be common to discuss philosophy and spirituality as easy as people discuss memes and other popularized things. And on another note I recently saw that the Pope has started to acknowledge the wrong doings of the Catholic Church and started to accept more forgiving and unconditional perspectives on all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds. The Catholics apparently hate it and they think that he's the devil, but I think it's just a collective mind of group thinking that's had a hardening of a cocktail of projection, denial, insecurities about their self-image, and judgement of others without ever truly being able to accept themselves. Their minds are afraid that they'll become something horrible if they accept something or someone perfectly fine as they are. All in the name of what's "good" and not in the name of "love". (Sorry for the ranting at the end. I had gotten distracted and then came back to add my ideas to the post).
I also feel like the West and the East are mixing in more and more through the media, music, popculture, and anime as well. While it may not look like it on a greater scale I've seen some patterns in multiple aspects of both sides of the world like certain words being put in the oxford dictionary, anime being more normalized in the West, video games including anime DLC or skins, music in Japan taking a lot of influence from Hip-hop and rap, anime live actions getting non-anime fans interested in anime, more discussion about open-minded topics because of these abstract and Eastern ideas that teach lessons through anime, which could lead to further curiousity about it's origins and how stories like Journey to the West by Wu Cheng'en and the abridged version by Auther Waley as "Monkey" influenced Akira Toriyama's Dragon Ball (Rest in peace), which has Taoism, Confucianism, and some Buddhism. If people knew about this and with the growth of psychedelic awareness and psychology I feel like eventually they'd come around to non-duality and how there is a harmony to everything and we just all need some love and peace. (rambiling again sorry...)

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Sorry to rant here, but I know the regular Ace Attorney subreddit is allergic to controversial opinions. Anyways, this character sucks.
https://i.redd.it/mzgly6r15b0d1.gif

First time Apollo has any meaningful interaction with him is when he's the defendant (apparently that's the only way characters ever get developed in this series)
Interesting shadowy and dark exterior that turns out to be normal guy with le quirky dad humour
Screws around with Apollo just for fun
Lies to Apollo and his own child all the time just so he can pull of his elaborate 3D chess masterplan (which is completely unnecessary and makes no sense)
Puts Apollo's life and career on the line just to satisfy his own ends
Actually kind of a bad parent when you think about how much he disregards the well being of his child
After all that, the grand mystery about how he stopped being a lawyer is revealed to be a twist so lame that it makes the whole game feel pointless
And somehow people have been brainwashed into thinking he's an S tier character just because the game keeps shoving how important he is down the player's throat

I just don't understand why people like Dhurke Sahdmadhi so much. Pic unrelated

TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING ⛔️ ⚠️
SPEAKING ON SENSITIVE TOPICS AND ADD*****n
AITA: so to give some context. I have a friend from early high school. We have been friends sense we were 14 or so. We made friends over a guy cheating on us, he had slept with her, and I around our sophomore year and cheated on me. Ever since we were inseparable. There were a few instances, though where it seemed like she was purposefully, trying to go out for people that I would date. Fast forward to adulthood. We both struggled with Opat dependency. She had told me she was sober and came to visit, but indeed was not. At this time I was sober. And just early in my recovery.
I had a entire 6 month set back. Absolutely made my life worst. And of course part of that is my own actions aswell. Falling into peer pressure and temptation. And during this time she had convinced me to allow her to live in our spare room. Eventually she randomly disappears with some guy for days on end, and refuses to respond to me. We pack all her stuff up and when we’re packing I find a note she wrote to my fiancé (now husband) about how she felt she wouldn’t be able to control herself around him and found it very tempting but wrapped it up with “I hope she’s okay”.
This was a immediate kick out as u can imagine. We talked it out, as she’s halfway across the states now claiming to be getting help and reuniting with her son. But here’s the issue, she asked me a few weeks ago to come pick her up from the airport because she has to fight a case in my state. She told me to pick her up Tuesday night at 8 PM. And then in the weeks following messages me and lets me know that’s she’s talking to my baby daddy, “just as friends though”…. (He b*at me up when we broke up🤦🏼‍♀️) . I drop it and say whatever that’s just her atp.
I get to sitting around thinking and start to feel like I’m being used a bit. I’ve offered for her to stay in my house in the past, and I felt like she tempted my sobriety and used me, along with tried to fk my husband. she got involved with one of my best friends, and he ended up dying from an ose, and I feel like that’s where some resentment is lying as well. He was only 20 and never had d* interests before hand.
She messaged me today and said that she’s coming today at 9 PM. I asked her well I thought you were coming on Tuesday and she said no she was coming Monday (after weeks of saying Tuesday?) ¿? She wants me to drive her two hours to her court date. which was was let known late aswell. Here’s the thing…. I feel like I’m going to be manipulated. She hasn’t told me where she’s going to stay or how she plans to get there other than saying she just wanted me to pick her up from the airport. She claimed to be sober and have gas money.
Combining all these experiences together I started to feel more and more sick today about having to pick her up. I’ve worked HARD to stay sober and I don’t feel comfortable opening that door. I also don’t feel comfortable not having any plan whatsoever other than “I’m suppose to pick her up” and I feel majorly uncomfortable with the fact that A. IF she was sober her family could pick her up and B. She couldn’t even accurately give me the dates she was flying in which makes me think she is using.
I didn’t pick her up. I blocked her in fact. But now I feel like a dick head leading her on that I was going to pick her up. But she did claim to have gas money which is uber, bus, or other ride money. So it’s not like she’s stranded stranded. But in the whole grand scheme of things, I feel like I’m protecting my peace and my household. My husband and I JUST got married yesterday and she’s wanting to come in our house or catch a ride with us during my honeymoon. I just dont feel okay about this situation at all tbh. I feel bad, but I don’t in a sense because I’m protecting my household, my self, my husband, my kids. But I do feel like a AH.
Idk. My sponsor always tells me it’s a hard feeling to put a boundary down but ur never in the wrong for protecting yourself. But idk.
In the grand scheme of things I just can’t over look all of this. I think of my friend who ov** do**** with her everyday. He’s gone. He will never get his life back. And my babies need their mom. But I’ve also been that human that’s needed help…. A extra reach. A uplift.
So AITA?
Feel free to give it to me, i lowkey feel shitty for not picking her up because I said I would. But yk the human brain.
EDIT: I’ve edited this and censored every possible word that could be offensive or triggering.

TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING ⛔️ ⚠️
SPEAKING ON SENSITIVE TOPICS AND ADD*****n
F 24 M 26 F 21 M 20
AITA: so to give some context. I have a friend from early high school. We have been friends sense we were 14 or so. We made friends over a guy cheating on us, he had slept with her, and I around our sophomore year and cheated on me. Ever since we were inseparable. There were a few instances, though where it seemed like she was purposefully, trying to go out for people that I would date. Fast forward to adulthood. We both struggled with Opat dependency. She had told me she was sober and came to visit, but indeed was not. At this time I was sober. And just early in my recovery.
I had a entire 6 month set back. Absolutely made my life worst. And of course part of that is my own actions aswell. Falling into peer pressure and temptation. And during this time she had convinced me to allow her to live in our spare room. Eventually she randomly disappears with some guy for days on end, and refuses to respond to me. We pack all her stuff up and when we’re packing I find a note she wrote to my fiancé (now husband) about how she felt she wouldn’t be able to control herself around him and found it very tempting but wrapped it up with “I hope she’s okay”.
This was a immediate kick out as u can imagine. We talked it out, as she’s halfway across the states now claiming to be getting help and reuniting with her son. But here’s the issue, she asked me a few weeks ago to come pick her up from the airport because she has to fight a case in my state. She told me to pick her up Tuesday night at 8 PM. And then in the weeks following messages me and lets me know that’s she’s talking to my baby daddy, “just as friends though”…. (He b*at me up when we broke up🤦🏼‍♀️) . I drop it and say whatever that’s just her atp.
I get to sitting around thinking and start to feel like I’m being used a bit. I’ve offered for her to stay in my house in the past, and I felt like she tempted my sobriety and used me, along with tried to fk my husband. she got involved with one of my best friends, and he ended up dying from an ose, and I feel like that’s where some resentment is lying as well. He was only 20 and never had d* interests before hand.
She messaged me today and said that she’s coming today at 9 PM. I asked her well I thought you were coming on Tuesday and she said no she was coming Monday (after weeks of saying Tuesday?) ¿? She wants me to drive her two hours to her court date. which was was let known late aswell. Here’s the thing…. I feel like I’m going to be manipulated. She hasn’t told me where she’s going to stay or how she plans to get there other than saying she just wanted me to pick her up from the airport. She claimed to be sober and have gas money.
Combining all these experiences together I started to feel more and more sick today about having to pick her up. I’ve worked HARD to stay sober and I don’t feel comfortable opening that door. I also don’t feel comfortable not having any plan whatsoever other than “I’m suppose to pick her up” and I feel majorly uncomfortable with the fact that A. IF she was sober her family could pick her up and B. She couldn’t even accurately give me the dates she was flying in which makes me think she is using.
I didn’t pick her up. I blocked her in fact. But now I feel like a dick head leading her on that I was going to pick her up. But she did claim to have gas money which is uber, bus, or other ride money. So it’s not like she’s stranded stranded. But in the whole grand scheme of things, I feel like I’m protecting my peace and my household. My husband and I JUST got married yesterday and she’s wanting to come in our house or catch a ride with us during my honeymoon. I just dont feel okay about this situation at all tbh. I feel bad, but I don’t in a sense because I’m protecting my household, my self, my husband, my kids. But I do feel like a AH.
Idk. My sponsor always tells me it’s a hard feeling to put a boundary down but ur never in the wrong for protecting yourself. But idk.
In the grand scheme of things I just can’t over look all of this. I think of my friend who ov** do**** with her everyday. He’s gone. He will never get his life back. And my babies need their mom. But I’ve also been that human that’s needed help…. A extra reach. A uplift.
So AITA?
Feel free to give it to me, i lowkey feel shitty for not picking her up because I said I would. But yk the human brain.
EDIT: I’ve edited this and censored every possible word that could be offensive or triggering. I got in some dokie in a different group for my words so that’s why it’s so censored