Here. And I’d like to start by noticing that Steve Sailer is obviously Delicious Taco’s dad. Having said this.
Good episode. Lots of engagement which I suppose is a net positive for all involved. Obviously a lot of the injury stems from a distortion. The episode’s content fantasized and in fantasy warped into something constituting a threat (no, an outright assault) to the listener’s person. One can simply listen to the episode and see that some (in fact the bulk) of the negative responses are from people reacting to some spectral absent-presence rather than to what is actually being said over the course of the 2 hour long episode. The voices and the discourse have instead been shaped into sonic receptacle containing the reflection of something wildly ugly. Injuriously ugly.
Past few days have been brutal. Found myself doom-viewing the main sub, should know better at this age. Feels like I’ve been transmogrified into an absurd and wretched thing. Must've transgressed against a gnome or something. Fascinating to think about.
I would like nothing more than to shame you.
Miami Summer is a killer. Urine is blood-orange. And my mother deserves better sons.
Why would A&D do this?
Witnessing the rankest comments. In bygone age I’d found them tolerable. Having imagined them delivered by high society homosexual. A damned dandy; chubby, sinister, and flamboyant. Capri on a stick limply held between index and middle fingers, twirling wrist ash’ing on expensive Persian rug. The blurry ghosts of his mother and the kid brother who drowned in the pond all those years ago glaring at him from far-off corner. Clearing throat he launches into sing-song slander head peeling back cackling at his own wickedness. Vile and venomous but charming. Instead what we get is 30+ year old mentally-ill men. Men whose Twitter activity has atrophied their cock and balls. Genitals withering away like the Worker's State, in its place a gasping cloaca, worry not I can clock em from miles away. The odious cloaca-havers are soon joined by ruined drug-addled children and the other women. They talk about A&D in disgusting ways. This is unfair and nasty. I confess to being angry. Sweating blood-specked kerosene. Let the scent fill up the empty air between us. My wrath singeing those overgrown nose hairs.
Of the two I think Anna is the one that inspires the harshest parasocial spite. So much so that I’d recommend she take some protective measures against evil eye and tongue. Maybe take baths with hyssop herb, rose water perfume, and holy water.
It’s as if Anna Khachiyan is a Giant Floating Vagina with teeth and a noticeable overbite. Viewed from another angle it transforms into a Madonna encircled by cherubim. Perhaps we are cruel to Anna in order to be kind to our mothers.
All very pre-Oedipal.
Had to step back and parse it out. Anna draws a comparison between herself and Sailer while also asking him a great question,
07:12-07:49
Anna: “I started reading it during the pandemic because it was the pandemic. I was pregnant and bored and I really relate to you as a person who everyone thinks is like evil and monstrous on the internet, but is actually like quite agreeable and mild mannered in real life. And I was going to ask you this question last, but I may as well just ask it now. How do you feel about your new found popularity? And especially, how do you feel about the fact that you have been effectively adopted by or identified with the hard right?”
The first part of the above extract, the sympathetic recognition, brings to mind a bit of 20th century Hermetic theory concerning harmful thought-forms. Our unconscious self-destructive impulses animating the fantasy-phantasm of the other. Inhabiting their shape. Gaining a degree of autonomy. This artificial entity is vampiric by default, provoking what the Czech magician Franz Bardon calls a "magical persecutory complex"... He goes into detail about such entities in Step VI of his seminal work, Initiation into Hermetics. Describing different types of artificial elementals and phantasms along with details on how to consciously go about creating and dissipating them. One of those artificial psychic entities, the one that concerns us, he calls the schemata. Bardon details two variants, one connected with paranoid persecutory fantasies and the other with erotic obsession. The first type comes about when someone who is “easily excitable, easily influenced or self-important” (Narcissist?) has a run in with another person who has, to put it mildly, a memorable visage and dark personality. The schemata is born from the phantasm modeled after this demonic-looking disagreeable person. The victim begins to attribute all kinds of minor inconveniences to the influence of the ugly person. Deludes themselves into thinking that the ugly/disagreeable person is a powerful black magician. Everything appears to reinforce their paranoid delusions. The schema grows in power feeding off the anxieties of their creatohost. The person might end up committing suicide. This was the persecutory schemas desire, having achieved its goal Bardon notes, “how great is the shock when such a spirit realizes on the mental plane that he has committed a very successful magical suicide. What a bitter disappointment! The demonic looking person, however, has no idea what happened; he was actually only the means to an end.”
God gave us eyes so that we might notice things.
The way I see it:
Being social animals the subject of our fantasy, of our fixations, is the fantasy of the other. What makes the human Human is not that we desire but rather that we desire the desire of the other. An excess desire. We fantasize about what the other is fantasizing and enjoying. Our fantasy of the fantasy of the other is the outlines a fundamental lack within our person, a negativity. Experienced as a splitting of consciousness. Intuiting this lack, becoming aware of it, and attempting to articulate it, we are self-consciousness. This negativity or void is in psychoanalytic terms, the unconscious. We likewise intuit that there had once been some original state. One without lack and contradiction. A state of fullness, without the division between self and object. A harmonious whole. A pure consciousness or as Freud refers to it in Civilization and its Discontents an oceanic feeling. The Original Desire, one that is authentically my own, which was not the desire of the other but which unites our desires in itself. This desire is the extinction of all desires.
The eye that perceives the lovely is at once the eye that perceives what I lack. Perceiving this lack, which explains my present condition, I covet. This is an evil eye. The lover’s gaze is of the same type as the infirm or pathic gaze. Reminded of Zizek’s formulation of one of Hegel’s insights, “Evil resides in the very gaze which perceives Evil all around itself" itself a variation of Meister Eckhart’s “the eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me.” The recognition of evil, the ability to see and judge evil, stems from our ability to recognize disparity. This disparity is already present within our own person, the split-consciousness. The feeling cognized, the awareness of our condition as beings separated from the whole. The clairvoyance of the tyrant and the philosopher.
Suppose that psychopathology is born from our inability to recognize an image as an image.
I intuit something more in this person, something they’re hiding. It can’t just be envy, no. It has to be because I can feel that this thing they’re hiding is sinister. It can’t just be that I feel animosity towards this person, no. It has to be because this person is evil and not just an isolated evil but rather a symptom of a much larger evil. An evil that is responsible for all the suffering in the World, for why my World isn’t the way it should be. It can’t just be attraction, no. It has to be that I intuit something more in this person, something hidden, that I must destroy in order to go on living.
If vile shit comes to mind (as vile things often do, especially when one is immersed in ambient algorithmically-summoned vileness, namely outrage and atrocity porn) they won't affirm it to themselves or try to justify or rationalize it or present it as a rational political stance. And they don’t abstract this particular form of vileness into the primary lens through which they view and interpret cultural phenomena. Unreflexive racial animosity is ugly and fetid. We’re capable of recognizing it, feeling it, as something pathological. We’re also capable of laughing at it. Laughing at ourselves. Look at what our ladies have to say about Stuart Seldowitz (the dude who went viral harassing a halal street vendor) in I’ll Be Missinger. “He sucks,” “he’s a loser,” “he’s obviously sick,” and that he gives the impression of someone who lives alone, will die alone, and will be found weeks or even months after the fact.
Perhaps Red Scare is special in how it manages to elicit absurd, wildly inappropriate responses from listeners. Vulgar and revelatory was it? Steve Sailer elicits a similar response and has become an expert in turning said absurd reactions to his advantage. Generally the cooler-head in any given exchange. While the other person shouts obscenities at a ghost, smashing fists against the post, looking crazy, like a proper hysteric. Sailer breaks the fourth-wall, making eye-contact with the would-be noticer, with a little shake of the head, a little chuckle, a little shrug… “you’re noticing right? See what I have to put up with? Imagine these people defining my legacy.” Still he seems to take it with the good humor of an uncle who will still call you on your birthday, despite your drunken outburst during holiday get-together he will admit to not having resisted the temptation to provoke you, it use to be fun, recall all the cool bands I introduced you too? We use to be best buds, “do you really think anything I’ve said merits this sort of response? Honestly?”
Has to be a cheap trick. A technique employed by an old trickster in decades long honing of craft. Maybe not. Maybe what we see is precisely what we get. Most of the very upsetting things being jokes sincerely intended to lighten the mood. Steve Sailer doesn’t care about the particular political orientation of his audience. He just cares that he has an audience. Grateful for the fans he has. Nonetheless happy that they’re not seething malcontent racists. Even if one disagrees with the methodology, the heuristic, the conclusions. That’s secondary, perhaps even tertiary to the recognition sought. His craftsmanship as a writer.
Why I loved his conflict with Will Stancil. Stancil inspired a lot of pondering for me. Putting things in place…
01:29:22-01:29:28
Anna: “You come for the race science and stay for the prose-styling and vivid story-telling.”
In trying to survive as a writer exiled from Mainstream Conservative media (ConInc) during the Bush Jr years. In fact, correct me if I’m wrong but the cancelation that actually impacted Steve Sailer, setting him down the path we find him in, was brought about not by blue-haired hall monitor millennial leftists but by his “fellow” Conservatives. I imagine that he just went with whoever was willing to take him adapting to the editorial standards and audience sensibilities of the publications willing to provide him succor. Not charity mind you but an ability to engage in his own little labor of love.
Read some Sailer. Might get into that later. But that’s the initial impression I got from Steve. Would be utterly mortified if memorialized as a Racialist Ideologue rather than as an entertaining and thought-provoking journalist. Think I also benefited from seeing how he’s actually received by people who are navigating through (or in certain cases, are mired in) the marginal “Hard Right”-spaces or the Rightwing Digital Ghetto. End up realizing that he isn’t hateful, that what you see is precisely what you get, that he privileges craft over ideology, that his reception and exile from Neocon dominated media outlets (remember these are the people gushing ecstatic over the US invasion of Iraq, manufacturing consent for our adventures in the Middle East) was exceedingly unfair but that he nonetheless managed to persevere. And that he really never goes beyond Norm McDonald in terms of his sardonic wit or The Boondocks animated series in terms of his criticisms. His normality is a great source of stability and comfort for his readers; “noticing” and speculating about these topics doesn’t necessarily lead to one becoming a seething racist.
Returning for a moment to Will Stancil, this was what he inspired:
As the last man standing I spend countless hours immersed in detailed fantasies about the coming apocalypse and my enemy's bliss. A dumb and wicked happiness proportional to my suffering. Easy to imagine other people happy. Hearts unbroken. Unburdened, hydrated, sexually satisfied, debt-free, lucky, successful in all business endeavors. Brute, jezebel, schemer, parasite, rival, betrayer... the whole lot of them thriving. Frolicking in my mind's eye. When the time comes I won't forget that they were happy while...others...suffered.
Find that trying to void your mind of all thought or sit perfectly still for 10 minutes. End up feeling like something requires much less energy from us than nothing. Causes coalescing. Conspiring, to what ends?
You see. The very same principle appears to be at work here. Same pathological base that undergirds genuine racial or ethnic animosity. Fantasizing about the other’s enjoyment and being unable to distinguish between the persecutory Phantasm and the actual human being whose shape it appropriates.
Had a friend recommend forgetting. Forgetting is a dialectical exercise, first you have to acknowledge the thing living rent free in your head and acknowledge its origins... then you have to take the steps to stop feeding it. Letting the thought-form dissolve. Let it be put to rest. Reminded of the practice Orthodox Christian contemplatives call Nepsis.
Other approaches as well, acknowledging the presence of anima veiled in shadow.
But listen…
The podcasts I consume, are a reflection of me as a person. Being what I associate and consume. What does it say about me in particular? Reveal about me? That they should have Steve Sailer on the pod. Settling down. Perhaps some responses could be understood in this light. That a Sailer episode reflects poorly on the listener. Constituting a great betrayal of the love and energy and time I have dedicated over the years to you.
I’m not a racist.
Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are. The most punitive and brutal god. The idea of the AI nu-god being this, utilizing that standard, is horrifying. Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are, everything you are, and whether or not you qualify to live.
Shamed, I quietly remove the upvote I gave to the hysterical person and the downvote I gave to him.
Hysteria like a yawn is an empathic contagion.
Back to Anna it’s not because she’s ugly and it sucks that she might nurse this delusion. I actually think Anna is really pretty. Rather I think it’s because she’s a mom. She registers as a maternal figure. That’s one of the reasons I think people respond to her the way they do. As stated earlier. We are cruel to Anna in order to forgive our moms.
[To be continued: Wherein I say horrible things that should never be said to the people I claim to love. Will also interrogate Sailor Socialism]

Hello everyone!
I think it would be funny to do a ranking of decades of Spiderman comics, from the 60's to the present.
For my part, I can only give an opinion up until 90's since I'm not interested in Spiderman post-2000's, but you can include it.

1. 80's: Roger Stern modernized the character and that would work a basis for the following years. He introduced a great villain like the Hobgoblin whose story would continue to be developed by other authors later. Also the black suit was introduced and the subsequent arrival of Venom, which they managed to turn into one of Spidey's most important foes despite having passed 2 decades since its launch, which is not easy. In addition, one of the character's key arcs was launched, Kraven Last Hunt. For all this and more, I would say that it is the best decade of the wall-crawler.
2. 60's: The origin of Spiderman, this age is iconic since all the characters and bases that would define the character to this day emerged. Yes, it is true that Lee and Ditko's first comics can get a little boring nowadays, but even so, seeing the first appearance of so many characters makes it worth reading. Later, the era of Lee and Romita Sr, keeping in mind that they are stories from the 60's, they manteined a high level and have not aged that much, in addition to that they also presented new iconic characters such as Rhino, Shocker or Kingpin, and great arcs such as the revelation of Norman being the Green Goblin or Peter ceasing to be Spiderman. Without a doubt, if this decade had not had this great level, Spiderman would not have become Marvel's flagship.
3. 70's: This decade during the first years has a good level until approximately number #150, although then the level of the stories begins to decline a little until the arrival of Stern in the 80's. Even so, in these early years we have memorable moments such as the death of Captain Stacy, the drug trilogy, the introduction of Morbius, the first Clone saga or the first time Harry becomes the Green Goblin, stories that continue to be remembered nowadays. And how can we not talk about the death of Gwen Stacy, probably the key moment in Spidey's entire history, which was a paradigm in the world of comics and which is still remembered 50 years later.
4. 90's: The decade most criticized in general by Spiderman fans, where it is said that the level of the stories dropped a lot to focus on action and spectacular drawings. I have not yet had the opportunity to read the Clone Saga since it will not be republished in my country until a few years, so although I know what happens during it, I cannot say if it is as bad as people say until reading it. Although personally the first years of the 90's do not seem so bad to me, Carnage is in charge of leading the gallery of rogues those years until reaching Maximum Carnage, which I enjoyed a lot, it is true that it is not a story that marked an era for its plot but even so the drawing and the battles seem very fun to me. Also during this time, we probably had the best stage of the Spectacular Spiderman title thanks to DeMatteis and Buscema with the whole story of Harry Osborn's return as the Green Goblin and his subsequent death, which is curious that they wrote in Spectacular and not in Amazing due to his importance in Peter's life. In conclusion, the absence of reading the Clone saga and although objectively it is probably the worst of these 4 initial decades of Spidey, it doesn't seem as bad to me as people try to make it out to be.

And now after having given my ranking, it is your turn to give your opinions.
Thanks for participating!

Introduction: Nestled in the lap of the majestic Himalayas, Uttarakhand is a land of breathtaking beauty and abundant natural resources. Among its many treasures, one fruit stands out for its unique flavor and enchanting qualities - the Kafal. This small, crimson-colored fruit, found in the higher altitudes of Uttarakhand, holds a special place in the hearts of locals and travelers alike. In this article, we will delve into the fascinating world of Kafal and explore why it is truly a fruit worth celebrating.

1. The Origin and Habitat of Kafal: Kafal, scientifically known as Myrica esculenta, is native to the Himalayan region and primarily found in Uttarakhand. It thrives in the cool and temperate climate of the higher altitudes, making it a delightful surprise for trekkers and nature enthusiasts exploring the region. The fruit-bearing trees can be spotted in the lush forests, often growing alongside oak, rhododendron, and other endemic flora.
2. Appearance and Taste: Resembling a small cherry, Kafal fruit has a vibrant red color that immediately catches the eye. The fruits grow in clusters, making them easy to spot amidst the green foliage. When it comes to taste, Kafal is a delightful blend of sweet and tangy flavors. Its unique taste is often described as a mix of raspberries and strawberries, with a hint of sourness that adds an exciting twist.
3. Nutritional Benefits: Beyond its delicious taste, Kafal boasts several nutritional benefits. Packed with antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals, this fruit helps boost immunity, improve digestion, and promote overall well-being. It is also a rich source of Vitamin C, which aids in collagen production, strengthening the immune system, and supporting healthy skin.
4. Culinary Uses and Traditional Significance: Kafal holds a significant place in the culture and cuisine of Uttarakhand. The locals use it in various culinary preparations, including jams, jellies, desserts, and refreshing summer drinks. The fruit's unique flavor adds a distinct twist to these dishes, making them truly memorable. Moreover, Kafal is often enjoyed as a raw snack during treks and hikes, providing a burst of energy and hydration.
5. Ecological Importance and Conservation Efforts: The Kafal fruit plays a crucial role in the ecology of Uttarakhand. It serves as a vital food source for numerous bird species and small mammals, ensuring their survival in the fragile ecosystem of the Himalayas. However, due to climate change and deforestation, the habitat of Kafal is under threat. To protect this enchanting fruit, conservation initiatives and sustainable farming practices are being promoted, emphasizing the importance of preserving Uttarakhand's rich biodiversity.

Conclusion: The Kafal fruit of Uttarakhand is truly a hidden gem, cherished by locals and celebrated by nature enthusiasts. Its unique taste, nutritional benefits, and cultural significance make it a fruit that deserves recognition and conservation efforts. As we explore the enchanting landscapes of Uttarakhand, let us remember to savor the flavors and appreciate the natural wonders that this land has to offer, including the delightful Kafal fruit.

The flash on the screen
In a blink of an eye we lose the world
And still we return from the void
The experience like a fever of flesh and hair
There's no more past to speak of
There is only now and next
I did all I could to tell the truth
I told every lie on earth
I believed you, every time,
And I thought that all of it
Was in my mind, I didn't
Believe that I would tell myself the truth.
That it could be me to hold and heal you.
I must not be
And it need not be.
Slush or ice or boil or steam
I want to make it as water for us
My heart bursts all on it's own imagination
You don't have to tell me what to do
Or what you want
You don't have to tell me anything
But if I'm still on your mind then tell me
Why do we come back?
I'm chased off, I am little, I am avoidant,
My library contains mostly fiction and paperbacks
It lacks classics and class and god
Thats something you have
It's tired but it's true:
I want what's best for you, even without me
And I never wanted to be without you
But I prefer to see you breathe easy and true
No more broken wings blackbird, be whole
Must I say goodbye? Maybe in french
But I don't know what that really means
A mess of thoughts and papers to slip on
Dork holds all his books to his chest
Like he forgot his bag or
Is in a hurry or
Can't share these poems
How water serenely holds aloft
In a paper lantern above
Never to meet the flame
But in the rippled reflections

The novel begins September 3, 2006, a Sunday. In "physical time," our reality, Andre Agassi played and lost his final match of his career. Steve Irwin, the croc hunter, would die the following day from a stingray's three barbed venomous spinal blades puncturing his heart. Senator Barak Obama was still denying he was intending to run for President (he would announce in February 2007.) The number 1 song in America and the UK is Sexyback by Justin Timberlake. Egypt warned of Palestinian terror attacks against Israelis vacationing in Sinai. Charlie Sheen turned 41. 200 Taliban are killed in a major battle in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Iraqi leaders announce the capture of the #2 leader of Al Qaeda. Europe's space agency purposely crash-lands a lunar probe into the moon.
In short, nothing, on balance seems to have happened in the world that has any particular world-historical or even US-historical import. Just a day. Even searching back 4 extra days from September 3 - since we are told that the man viewing the art installation is now on his fifth straight day in the museum - nothing all that *important* seems to have happened on any of those dates, the way saying a novel is starting on June 6, 1944, or (obviously) September 10, 2001, or July 16, 1945 or November 22, 1962 would be of course trying to tell us something.
Q: why is Delillo's purpose (is there one?) for telling us this specific date? Why is it important that the man is there on September 3, 2006 watching this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a31q2ZQcETw over and over.
Q: who is the man? Delillo himself? Just a random unnamed character? Is it definitely Finley and Elster who are the two men who come into the room? The description of the older man "long white hair braided at the nape" [p.7, Scribner] certainly seems to suggest it is Elster, described in Ch. 1 as a man "with silvery hair, as always, was braided down into a short ponytail." If it is definitely them, what does it mean they attended a museum show together? Anything?
This is not the first Delillo novel to open with a scene where a movie, and anonymous characters' responses to watching it, is central to the narrative - Players opens with a movie being shown on a plane that is basically a silent movie of a terrorist machine-gun attack on waspy golfers, only accompanied by a pianist (yes a pianist) in the airplane bar filling in the suspense with improvised show tunes - and it is not the first to open with an examination of an art installation - Underworld, after the fantastic baseball game section - opens at Klara Sax's airplane bomber art installation commune. But this opening seems to introduce two characters obliquely, and of course only if you've paid close attention to the description of Elster's hair could you think back to it being him, perhaps.
"The nature of the film permitted total concentration and also depended on it." "The less there was to see, the harder he looked, the more he saw." [p.5, Scribner]
Q:Who is this person watching and why should we care?
Q: Did the opening sequence provide you any insight other than , perhaps, confusion? Something other than "what the hell did I just read?" What? Does your reaction to the opening sequence change when you know (if you did before this post) that the Psycho installation was and is real?
Moving on to Chapter 1 [p. 17, Scribner], we learn that we are on Day 10 of a 12-day period of time that relates the initial relationship between Elster and Finley. Finley, who is probably in his early to mid-30s and 73-year-old Elster are spending time at Elster's house in the desert to record a one-take movie of Elster's testimony of what it was like to serve in an administration that went to war under less than honest circumstances.
Our narrator is Jim Finley, a documentary filmmaker who has made exactly one film about Jerry Lewis's telethon appearances - Lewis, a "rampaging comic" to whom Elster would merely be a "straight man." [p.27] Elster, who Finley also describes as "not a man who might make space for even the gentlest correction," [p.22] is a non-political theorist being brought in to an administration to provide narrative to their war. I've seen references to him being based on Paul Wolfowitz, the political scientists who became Deputy SecDef in the Bush II Administration who famously nearly swallowed his comb to wet it to comb his hair in an image that likely sealed his fate in D.C. as unserious and ridiculous who was then shuffled off to the World Bank, but would Delillo ape the man AND mention him in the narrative? If so, that seems clumsy.
Q: Do you even take Elster serious as a character or believable as a "brain" behind the narrative of an administration going to war? A man who speaks in bad koans and aphorisms like "Time becomes blind." [p.23] and who reads Louis Zukovsky into the night? (Zukovsky famously worked on an epic poem called "A" for over almost 50 years, finally finishing it a few years before his death in 1978.)
Finley tells us: "To Elster, sunset was human invention, our perceptual arrangement of light and space into elements of wonder." [p.18, Scribner]. Elster has come to the desert to seek - something - we know not what and are not told definitively - but his narrative of what his role was in Washington was to create a interpretation of the "closed world" for the "plotters, the strategists" [p. 28] and ends up delivering to Finley what I think Finley was after - the cynical idea that Elster was giving form and shape to the government's bullshit narrative - "The state has to lie. There is no lie in war or in preparation for war that can't be defended. We went beyond this. We tried to create new realities overnight, careful sets of words that resemble advertising slogans in memorability and repeatability."
Q: Is Elster ultimately right? Did the country have a "shadowy need" [p.34] for such a narrative? See, for instance: "Let's roll." [probably in reality, "Let's roll it" referring to a beverage cart to break into the cockpit.]
"Shock and awe." "Global War on Terror" "Slam dunk" "WMDs" "The Surge" And perhaps most infamously "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques"
At the ends of the chapter, we get what counts as a cliffhanger in this slim novel: Elster's adult daughter would be coming for a visit, Jessie who was "otherworldly" [p. 36].

We are going to Maui for our 1st anniversary and looking for ideas. We are there for 6 days 5 nights in June (reaching around 11 am). We are quite active, adventurous and looking for some fun adrenaline rush. I cant swim well but have surfed in the past. Any activities/excursions that are absolutely worth doing. I have seen helicopter ride, sunset cruises and snorkeling suggestions. Looking for any other suggestions that would be a great memorable present!
Also would love to hear any other food and hotel/airbnb suggestions. We are vegetarians.
So far we have Road to Hana, Haleakalā and few beaches planned for our iterenary Planning to snorkel (my husband), surf, swim and do few easy/medium hikes. All ears to ideas and suggestions.

Hey girls!
I wrote this poem last year about my experience as a trans girl and didn't really have anywhere to share it. I thought this might resonate with somebody. TW: References to Transphobia
Her
Didn't you know she's a freak?
A twisted pervert in disguise
Insatiable in libido and debauchery
She carries more than meets the eyes
Didn't you know when she cums,
even the angels shriek?
Demons summoned with every kiss
Her cunning pillow talk so sweet
Didn't you know she's snipped and botched
Always drinking crack and snorting wine
This is how she stomachs herself
A chimera worse than Frankenstein
Didn't you know she peels the girls?
Wears them like an ill-fitting suit
Mockingly she parades around
Their birthright, her loot
Didn't you know she dabbles the children?
Stealing their innocence, their youth
They say she smells of rotting flesh
Who cares if it's the truth
Don't you know to be wary of her?
Depravity and deception in every breath
She's disgusting and worthless
A danger only acceptable in death
Horrid, putrid, sordid, lurid,
the lies we weave to excuse our hate
For cruelty cannot be worn with pride
Nor unfairness, a namesake
It's easy to burn the witch,
Stake the vamp, mock the shrew
Their guilt so clear you'll never question
If they're more innocent than you
Who is she? Who am I?
I am her, she is me.
A woman, a daughter, a soul
Trapped in psychosocial duality
The me that haunts their minds
The me that haunts my own
Both enemy and protagonist
Two narratives that can't atone
Everyone's story needs a villian
Someone to battle and defeat
I seem to play the role well
They say my performance can't be beat
So I will play the role,
Reluctantly accept the acclaim
As their showering roses
Turn to stones bringing bloodied pain
Maybe when the act is over
And curtain is finally drawn
They'll see the error of their belief
They'll see that they were wrong

1. Precalc (Don’t make me do math again) (tbd)
2. Psych (Not my thing, lot of memorization) (3 😔)
3. Lit (Harder exam, not terrible) (tbd)
4. Lang (You write a lot but easy exam) (5)
5. Macro (Shouldn’t be this high but idk) (tbd)
6. Euro (Hardest history but not terrible) (5)
7. Comp gov (Harder than US gov) (4)
8. APUSH (Slight) (5)
9. US Gov (Super straightforward) (tbd)
10. Micro (Just makes sense) (tbd)
11. Hug (Don’t need to take the class) (4)

I’ve been re-watching episodes where Dr Bailey started out as a mousey intern, full of shyness, and severely lacking confidence, and became the powerhouse that she evolved into when she initially taught each of the original five.
Bailey loved each of the original five as her own children, that’s why she gets so frustrated when Meredith puts herself in these kind of situations. It’s a mother’s frustration, a mother’s love.
Lets examine Bailey over the entire series run.
She loved each of original five as if they were her own children, and thats why she gets so frustrated when Meredith does something to put herself in these kinds of situations. Its a mothers love…is it not?
I mentioned Meredith’s trial as an example yesterday, and i re-watched it closely and revised my opinion.
She knew as far back as season 3 that Meredith was a pain in her side. Remember the panties on the bulletin board?
Remember her being protective of Meredith and laying into McDreamy when he caught them in a parked car?
She also knew that Meredith had the makings of an excellent surgeon. She knew that Meredith had to go through the refiners fire.
Heres a transcript of her speech.
Dr. Bailey: 'Ever since I first met Meredith Grey I knew she was going to be a thorn in my side. You're worried about her breaking rules? Well, that's not gonna stop. She's been doing that since day one.
And, yes, she broke a law to save a life. So she deserved to lose her job. She deserves to pick up trash. No one should be questioning her license.
She's too good at what she does. And she's worked too hard to get to where she is. And with all that she has survived, it hasn't made her hard. It hasn't made her mean or cold. It hasn't made her not care.
It's made her better. It's made her better than anyone in this room. Well, except me. I'm Dr. Miranda Bailey, chief of surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, and I approve this message.'
—————— my reasoning of Dr. Bailey at the hearing————
Bailey doesn’t try to lessen what Meredith has done. She doesn’t try to get her off the hook. She explains why Meredith is such a good surgeon and states that everything she’s been through has made her an even better doctor.
Meredith may make some interesting choices, and some of them may drive Dr. Bailey up the walls, just like children often do. But given their relationship, Dr. Bailey hated Meredith’s actions, but not Meredith herself.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone you loved and cared about did something you you hated and didnt approve of? Did you hate them for it or did you hate *what they did* but not themselves?
You can hate what someone does without hating the person themselves. That is what I believe Bailey has done. In the beginning of the series, she was billed as a not-see (not typing it out)
This was Dr Bailey’s first speech to the interns in S1E1
"I have five rules, memorize them,” she told the interns. “Rule number don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change, trauma protocol…nurses will page you, you will answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two.”
“Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain,” she continued.
“You run labs, write orders, work every second until you drop and don’t complain. On-call rooms, Attendings hog them, sleep when you can where you can, which brings me to rule number three if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me unless your patient is actually dying."
“Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, then not only would you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason, we clear?”
She was responsible for turning out excellent surgeons.
You dont go easy on them and expect them to thrive and survive. You go hard on them. But you want them to succeed.
Otherwise you are just wasting your time, your resources, and the lives of the patients that they lost.
In the current season, Dr Bailey is back, doing what she did in the beginning, but this time she has 20 years experience.
We’ve seen Miranda go soft on people during the series and we’ve seen that doesn't turn out very well. Remember what BCB is an acronym for? What surgeons need is tough love. What surgeons need is someone to inspire them.
Bailey may be straightforward, tough, and full of wit and wisdom. Without a doubt, she is a really good physician and an independent one at that. However that independence has cost her personal relationships such as Ben.
She hated that Ben became a firefighter and is how in a very perilous environment day after day, but she doesn’t hate the guy.
If anything, Miranda has become more compassionate and more open hearted…not hateful
Not too long ago, Miranda started a women’s clinic at the hospital and as a result of her hard work in the face of adversity from the pro-lifers, she wins the esteemed Catherine Fox Award.
How can you do something like that while spreading hate throughout the hospital? You cant.

The piano view and scale mode makes it super easy to come up with cool Melodies easily but I’m wondering if there’s a way to figure out what notes, what chords you can use for a given scale other than learning it and memorizing it.

Got a 690, nice.
Prior to this, my only real experience with Linux had been making a Raspberry Pi tablet that nobody really uses, and installing Kali Linux on a potato laptop. I'm a Mac user and I have used Terminal a bit, and I used DOS a lot in the 90s, so some of the material (particularly hardware, basic CLI) was familiar to me. I started studying about two and a half weeks ago.
In case this is helpful to anybody, this is what I did and here are my thoughts:

• I went through the Cisco NetAcademy course. I did some of the labs. I read all the content and outlined it. It was extremely boring.
  • I completed all the unit tests on the Cisco course (In one case, and chapter 9 I am looking at you, up to 11 times...) and looked up answers and reread material until I was consistently scoring 80% or, ideally, 90-100% on each unit, the midterm, the final, and the cumulative final. Last night I finally hit 80% on all except Chapter 18 (Special Directories and Files), which is sorta funny since I got 100% on the "Security and File Permissions" component of the exam.
• I made Anki flashcards for everything I got wrong or that confused or even mildly interested me. Basically, I "Ankified" everything that was not a transition sentence, lol.
• I also had a big document where I took notes from every single section. This was, honestly, mostly to keep myself from just skimming through and skipping over stuff because it was really really dull. It might not be efficient, but throughout my education (and this ain't my first school rodeo), I've found it useful to see how information is organized, so I generally make top-down outlines of what I read. I used to do this in MS Word but lately I've been using Notion since the formatting is nicer Maybe it's a total waste of time, because it took fivever. But I did it and now I have a huge Notion document of Linux notes....so I've got that going for me.
• I went through the big blue Linux book. It was also EXTREMELY boring. It was actually sort of impressive, just how incredibly dull they managed to make that book. After a certain point, it felt almost like meditation or a fever dream. I had a friend who did a silent meditation retreat and I think I started to feel like she described feeling towards the end of that. I did as many of the exercises and "explorational" activities as possible (some required permissions that weren't possible with the VMs I had at the moment).
• For a few days, I was using the online tests / flashcards that went with the LPI Linux Essentials Study Guide: Exam 010 v1.6 book, but apparently the site those were on was "retired" on April 30th, and it was annoying enough to get access the first time, so I didn't bother to try & figure out whatever it changed to. I found that book to be the least helpful of the materials anyway. The practice tests were the best thing about that one.
• I completed the Codecademy Bash scripting course one afternoon, since I like Codecademy's approach to scaffolding material and wanted to practice actually doing Bash scripting (but without, like, installing a VM).
• I took all the Dion exams multiple times.
• I followed the same process as with the Cisco exams, making cards / looking up anything and everything I got wrong.
• I made Anki flashcards for all of the above, and used GIFs or made graphics or used ChatGPT / Midjourney to generate ridiculous / weird images or songs to help me remember commands. Please, let me regale you with my and ChatGPT's interpretation of Johnny Cash, called "A Command Named Su." (And, actually, su came up ZERO times on the actual exam for some reason).
• I played this "Command Line Murder Mystery" game and really wished there was more to it, because while it's a great intro to the CLI that I'd recommend to anybody new to it, it also replicated a lot of the stuff I was more familiar with. I would have loved it if there had been something like that for every corresponding unit of the Cisco course or chapter of the book.
• I spent about a week and a half going through the flashcards during any and all downtime: During my kid's bath, on a flight, at a stoplight, at a family wedding, hair appointment, meals, whatever.
• I had started out by downloading a public Anki deck that was supposed to be for Linux Essentials, but ultimately I didn't think those cards helped nearly as much as the ones I made myself. The process of making the cards is important, and the deck I found was all "basic" format (instead of Cloze or Image like I was using). The deck I found had very open-ended questions that lacked context, and I regret wasting time on it instead of just making my own cards from the get-go. In the end, my deck was 835 cards, though that included the rando one I had downloaded. I don't think I use Anki in the most efficient way, so that was probably too many.
• I was able to attend one of the Cohorts and do the online game yesterday, and it was both fun and helpful. So I'd definitely recommend doing that.

Exam:

• I was mildly surprised that there were a few more "pick X of these options" questions than I'd expected. I had thought there'd be 7; by my count, I had 9.
• In case you aren't aware, there are about 3 fill-in-the-blank questions on the exam. They only ask for one word, though. The practice exams do not have these types of questions. However, since I had no idea until yesterday that this was even a question type, I wanted to put that out there, since some people might get thrown off by a question type they're not expecting.
• I did my exam at a testing center and it felt like a damn vacation. I managed to show up precisely on time for the first and probably only time in my entire life. It was, just extremely nice people, free parking, free locker for my stuff, a nice sunny window in the testing room, everything was very clean and bright. I wish I could take all the OAs that way!
• I've taken the Dion and Cisco and Study Guide practice tests so many times they run together, so it's hard to say exactly which questions came from where, but I was surprised that a lot of the questions on the exam were verbatim from the pool of practice tests I'd been using.
• In general, I think Dion's exams were a little bit easier than the actual exam and Cisco's were a little bit harder. Dion tends to have some goofy or humorous "distracter" wrong answer options (which, frankly, I appreciate because this was generally extremely boring material to me, sorry), but the other practice exams I took were all srsbiz. Also, since Cisco's unit tests are specialized to each topic, I think they go into greater depth than the actual exam might.
• In the end, I think I did substantially better on the exam than I had on the Cisco material, so I'd say that Cisco over-prepares you a tiny bit and that's probably what you want, right?
• I was so psyched about the "Command Named Su" and never even got to use it. :(

Recommendations:

• I am sure the best actual approach is to have and use Linux daily via the command line, or perhaps to be bo(u)rn(e) to a family fluent in C and grow up speaking Bash or C as your native language... but failing that, I'd start with the Cisco course (Link). It's fantastic that it's FREE. Note that about once a week they take it down for an annoyingly long maintenance window, but still. Each unit test is only 10 questions, and it doesn't actually tell you what the "right" answers are if you get them wrong, so it's extremely hard to get through a unit without having a good understanding of the material.
• If you're not familiar with the CLI, definitely try the game I linked above. It's really cool. Actually, try it even if you are, it's just a fun way to practice.
• If you can figure out where the practice tests went for the LPI Linux Essentials Study Guide: Exam 010 v.16 (by Bresnahan and Blum), they are fairly useful, but they are also very, very similar to the Cisco course.
• It took me some time to figure out that the Dion course on Udemy is really two courses. One has videos and 2 practice exams, one is just 6 practice exams. Between the two courses, there are 8 practice exams. I took all of them multiple times and thought they were really good practice. I tried feeding the exams to Chat GPT and asking it to generate new questions, but it didn't work very well (they were too easy / just reworded, etc).
• I love Anki, though I guess it might not work for everybody, and don't take a shortcut; make your own flashcards.
• A lot of the material that seems to be floating around about this exam is redundant to the big boring book and the Cisco course. So I think it probably matters to just find a format you enjoy, or at least that you can stand (e.g., video, course, whatever) and stick with it all the way through.
• The thing that helped the most for me, in terms of both trying to stay sane and memorizing the material, was trying to turn it into something fun and interesting. I actually began to enjoy the process of studying once I started making stupid / weird / traumatizing AI art images. I am sure a smarter person than myself (which is most of you) would've probably figured that out a lot faster.
• The real kernel is the soul-crushing boredom we found along the way. Right?

OK, onward and upward. Hope this helps somebody out.

A month or so ago I busted my phone, and it was a huge pain in the ass. Aside from some lost data which was minor, the biggest PIA was resetting MFA, getting in touch with my US banks, and any other services that were tied to my phone. The experience also made me take a step back and realize I am pretty lax with security, and if someone had gotten hold of my phone and somehow god-forbid gotten the passcode, then I'd be fucked. They could do so much damage with unlimited access to my email + MFA SMS, even in just a few hours.
As a result, I kind of went down the ADHD rabbit hole hyper-fixating on how best to "optimize" my iPhone and iCloud configuration for two things:

1. If it breaks, the transition to a new device will be relatively painless. I won't have to spend several days stressing and trying to find the right international customer support number for a myriad of institutions and services to get into my accounts.
   
2. If it gets stolen and compromised, then there will be enough barriers such that the I'll have enough time to lock down the device and/or my accounts remotely before the thief can get key data or move funds.
   

So I put together this guide and checklist that I thought I'd share with others. I am a programmer but by no means a security guru, and so if any IT, DevOps, or SecOps folks want to chime-in with suggestions or improvements, please do.

Requirements

• an iPhone XR, iPhone XS, iPhone 11, iPhone 12, iPhone 13, iPhone SE (2nd generation), and iPhone 14 or newer for eSIM compatibility.
• a US-based carrier with eSIM support + a pay-as-you-go model for international travel (I use Verizon)
• iOS 17 or above (may not be strictly necessary, but I know my setup works with iOS 17.4.1)
• a password manager. I personally use 1Password because it works, is reliable, has cross-device support, and is easy and intuitive. It's also only $3/month.

Dual Sim Setup

I have been rocking an iPhone 12 for the past few years, and it's served me very well. I know the newer iPhones (14 and up) no longer offer physical SIM card support, but carriers in most developing countries are behind the curve. Even if they offer eSIM support, it's been my experience that it's a major headache to get setup, there is a lack of customer support in English, and they may even require a local ID to register the eSIM. It's way easier to just head to a shop and pay $5 for a SIM card, load some funds onto it, and then you're good to go.
The eSIM has been very helpful for maintaining a US phone number for which I can receive SMS texts from my banks and other financial services as well as continue to use iMessage with all my US contacts since hardly anybody is on Whatsapp.
Most, if not all, carriers in the US support eSIMs now, and so you should try to find a carrier that offers an international pay-as-you-go plan. Verizon offers two international plans - one is a "Travel Pass" where it's a flat fee of $10/day anywhere outside the US or Canada (even for just one text message). The other is "pay for what you use" which has a rate per text, minute, and mb. For my US plan, I only care about receiving SMS texts from my banks and the occasional phone call to a service that doesn't have an international, toll-free number. Data will always be cheaper outside the US, so I disable cellular data switching for my US line.
The last time I was in the US was for the holidays and I bought 2 used iPhone 12's for about $200 each. They have some scuffs, but they're perfectly serviceable. In LATAM, it also doesn't attract nearly as much unwanted attention in the street as an iPhone 14 or 15.
I brought these with me as extra devices. When my phone busted last month, thankfully I had a backup in iCloud and everything was loaded in a few minutes as normal. This was before I was using the eSIM, but if I had the eSIM I could just go to Verizon support online via chat and they could help me switch the line to the new device easily.

Basic Configurations

• Always use the latest version of firmware
• Require a passcode that's unique to that device.
• Use FaceID instead of passcode when possible (a thief can't snipe your passcode from a distance if you unlock your phone with FaceID)
• Set auto-lock to 30 seconds (lowest possible)
• Erase data upon excessive passcode failures note, this is complemented in a later step with daily backups. The odds of you putting in the wrong passcode 10 times is low, but in the event you do and you wipe the device by accident, you should be able to easily load in a back-up from the previous day)
• Turn off "Ask to Join Networks"
• Forget unused networks so that you don't rejoin automatically (airports, hotels, etc.)

Creating Backups

• Set iCloud backups to run automatically every night. This will allow you to load your entire phone as is (contacts, call history, iMessages, apps, even your wallpaper) onto another device during setup. The iCloud backup usually runs at 2am while I'm sleeping.
• You may need to pay for a higher tier in iCloud if you have too much stored on your phone. It's $3/month for 200gb of iCloud storage, and I find it worth it. Though I know some people with tens of thousands of photos for which 200gb might not be enough.

Password Policy

• For any accounts that may contain sensitive data (payments, PII, etc), always generate a unique password with 1Password. Don't reuse passwords. Same goes for PIN codes.
• For core accounts, create a strong but memorable password and then memorize it. The odds of getting locked out of 1Password are low if you're diligent, but for 2 or 3 core accounts (where you access money, your primary recovery email, your iCloud, 1Password), it's worth it to create strong, unique passwords for each core service and memorize them.
• I try not to reuse passwords in general, but I still sometimes am lazy and use one of my handful of typical passwords if there's no sensitive data collected by the service and it's a service I don't use often.

MFA

Set up MFA with everything. Add multiple options if possible. My preferred MFA options are as follows:

1. One-time code that renews every 30 seconds. This is device agnostic and can be stored in 1Password. You could also use Microsoft Authenticator, Google Authenticator, Authy or similar, but there's just more overhead to now recover those accounts if your device becomes inaccessible.
2. One-time code to recovery email.
3. One-time code via SMS to my US phone number. On the pay-as-you-go Verizon plan, I only pay 5 cents per text message received. It's worth it to keep one consistent number.
4. List of recovery codes (stored in 1Password as an attached txt file for the given account)
5. Use another app for verification (Google does this a lot).

Lockdown your iCloud security

• Enable MFA.
• Create a strong, unique password.
• Remove any old or unused devices from the iCloud account (old phones, ipods, etc).
• Enable "Find My" for all of your devices.
• In Find My, configure all devices to send the last known location.
• In Find My, enable the configuration to remotely wipe a device.

In the event your phone is stolen, the idea is you could run back to any of your devices or even use a friend's device to log into iCloud on the web, go to Find My, and then in a single button click you can lock and wipe the stolen device. If the thief turned off the device or disabled wifi/cellular, then as soon as it comes back online it will be wiped.

Final Clean-Up

• Move any compromising photos to the "hidden" folder (which requires FaceID or passcode to unlock)
• Review the Files app for any documents containing sensitive info. If you need these documents to be accessible on mobile, then move them to 1Password and delete them from the Files app.
• Create a shortcut to trigger the lock screen (and thus require FaceID or passcode) when specific apps are opened (banking, email, photos, etc).
• Not sure if this is best practice, but I just keep everything in 1P and turn off apple keychain and the apple built-in password manager. I also don't save passwords in Chrome or Safari.

Extra tips

These aren't really iPhone tips but general tips. They are probably obvious to you if you aren't as scatterbrained as me, but I figured that I'd drop them here in case they help someone.

• Add thorough security measures to iCloud, primary email, and any banking or financial services. Review each account and make sure you have a strong, unique password as well as a unique PIN, MFA configured, login alerts, recovery codes, and an international, 24-hour toll-free phone number stored somewhere to contact the service in the event of a crisis. For banking services, add withdrawal limits, regional restrictions (if you bounce between the same few countries), and SMS notifications for charges over a certain threshold. Open up a second checking account with a separate debit card for trips to the ATM.
• Consolidate and close any unused bank accounts. I realized that on my phone I had Revolut, Venmo, Paypal, Nequi, plus 4 US banking institutions. I took this time to close my Discover account (which is pretty much useless outside the US anyway), close my Revolut account since I'm hardly ever in the UK/EU, and consolidate investment accounts from different institutions into just a handful that's easier to monitor.

In the annals of gaming history, few titles command the reverence and adoration as the legendary Doom franchise. Born from the minds of John Romero, John Carmack, Adrian Carmack, and Tom Hall, Doom would go on to lay the foundations for just about every modern video game that exists. It was a true tour de force, a success story few could scarce ever imagine.
Released in 1993, Doom was an immediate smash hit, thanks in no small part to its shareware format, which allowed users to experience the first few levels of Knee Deep In the Dead, and then order the full game via the phone number included. Players could then share the floppy disk with their friends, and so on, and so on. It was a truly revolutionary system, and within a single year, Doom had sold over 2 million copies.
The history of the Doom franchise is one of innovation, ultra violence, and controversy (1999's Columbine High School Massacre), and that reputation is one that continued with 2016's DOOM. DOOM was officially revealed at Quakecon 2014, ten years after Doom 3. Players had long resigned to Doom being considered a dead franchise. A reboot had been in the works for a number of years prior, but never got released, having been quietly cancelled by id in 2010. The future was bleak, but the 30 second long teaser ignited a spark that had been burning dimmer every passing year.
Then came E3 2015.
The hype was unreal. The trailer had everything that fans could possibly want. Gore, intense violence, insane run n gun gameplay, a rip-roaring soundtrack and the MFING CHAINSAW. But fans had been let down before. Would it really hold up its promises?
Yes. Yes, it would.
PART I: Presentation
When DOOM burst onto the scene in 2016, it did so with a visual and auditory spectacle that left players awestruck. From the moment the game boots up, players are made aware that this is not your average shooter. You are greeted with a deep, commanding voice. "Rip and tear, until it is DONE."
Immediately, players are greeted with a scene of carnage and the Doom Slayer chained to a table, which, of course, he instantly breaks free from. A zombie attempts to relieve the Slayer of his life but is beaten to the punch with a prompt skull smashing. After putting the other zombies to rest, he interacts with the panel in the corner, is greeted by one Dr. Samuel Hayden, who attempts to justify the outbreak, and decides he would rather kill shit than listen to excuses and destroys the monitor.
That is the introduction to this game. It never wastes the player's time. We aren't here to listen to long droning monologues or watch MGS style cutscenes. id Software knew their audience, and knew what that audience wanted, and they deliver in spades. This introduction sets the tone for the entire experience: relentless action, unapologetic violence, and a protagonist who is as unstoppable as he is uncompromising. The Doom Slayer's disdain for exposition and his single-minded focus on annihilating demons resonate with players who crave a pure, unadulterated gaming experience.
By eschewing lengthy cutscenes and exposition-heavy dialogue in favor of fast-paced gameplay and visceral action, id Software delivers a game that respects the player's time and delivers exactly what they came for: non-stop demon-slaying action. In an era where many games are criticized for padding their runtime with unnecessary filler, DOOM stands out as a shining example of how to create a focused and engaging experience that keeps players coming back for more.
Rather than bombarding players with lengthy exposition or intrusive cutscenes, DOOM opts for a more environmental storytelling approach. Throughout the game, players can discover audio logs, read text-based terminals, and observe environmental details that provide context and background to the events unfolding around them.
The story of DOOM revolves around the Doom Slayer's mission to stop a demonic invasion unleashed by the Union Aerospace Corporation (UAC) on their Martian facility. As players progress through the game, they uncover details about the UAC's experiments with Hell energy, the origins of the demonic invasion, and the Doom Slayer's own mysterious past.
While the story may not be front and center in DOOM, it nonetheless adds depth and richness to the game world, enhancing the overall experience for players who choose to engage with it. And for those who prefer to focus solely on the action, the story remains secondary, allowing them to enjoy the game on their own terms.
That's all well and good, but what about the actual gameplay? Simply put, it is exhilarating. From the moment you are given control of the Slayer, players are thrust into a frenzy of blood and violence, and it never lets up. At its core, DOOM is a first-person shooter that harkens back to the genre's roots while injecting it with a healthy dose of modern flair. The gameplay is fast-paced, frenetic, and utterly unapologetic in its brutality. You're not just a player – you're the Doom Slayer, a force of nature hell-bent on eradicating every last demon in your path.
Central to the gameplay experience is the game's combat loop, which revolves around a delicate balance of aggression and strategy. In DOOM, there's no hiding behind cover or waiting for your health to regenerate – you're constantly on the move, strafing, dodging, and leaping across the battlefield as you unleash a torrent of bullets, rockets, and plasma upon your enemies.
Weapons include the iconic shotgun, heavy assault rifle, plasma rifle, rocket launcher, and the devastating BFG 9000, among others. Each weapon offers different firing modes, such as single shot, burst fire, and continuous beam, providing players with tactical options in combat. A key aspect of combat is the Glory Kill system, which allows players to perform brutal finishing moves on staggered enemies. Glory Kills not only provide health and ammo but also contribute to the flow of combat by encouraging aggressive play. It is incredibly satisfying to watch the Slayer rip an imp in half or stomp their head into the pavement, and doing so rewards you with a large return of health.
The Chainsaw mechanic is another integral part of combat, allowing players to instantly kill most enemies and gain a large amount of ammo in return. However, Chainsaw fuel is limited and must be managed carefully. Like Glory Kills, watching the chainsaw tear demons apart is incredibly satisfying. Certain demons require more fuel but provide the player with more ammo in return. Balancing which demons you chainsaw and which ones you choose to Glory Kill is an important part of combat.
Exploration is key to progression and is rewarding to those players who choose to do. Hidden throughout the levels of the game are Argent Cells, Praetor Tokens, and Rune Trials. Each of these provide upgrades to your health/shield/ammo, suit, and passive abilities respectively. Also hidden throughout the game are levers that lead you to classic levels from Doom 1 and Doom 2, which then unlock the full level of its respective game, playable from the main menu. You can also find toy models of the Doom Slayer, which unlock various character models to view. On some of these models, the Doom Slayer will perform a unique action when picking it up, such as fist bumping the classic Doomguy. It's a nice and cute little touch added by the developers that does a little to add character to the Slayer, who is a silent protagonist.
id Software masterfully blends modern game design with a deep reverence for the classics, paying homage to the series' storied history while introducing new elements that propel the franchise forward. Central to this approach is the game's character design, which strikes a delicate balance between nostalgia and innovation. At its core is the iconic protagonist, the Doom Slayer, whose design pays homage to the original Doom Marine while incorporating modern updates that make him feel both familiar and fresh. With his battle-worn armor, imposing stature, and silent demeanor, the Doom Slayer is the embodiment of raw power and unrelenting rage.
The game's roster of enemies is a veritable who's who of classic Doom foes, reimagined for the modern era. From the lowly possessed soldiers to the hulking Cyberdemon, each enemy is lovingly crafted to capture the essence of its 1990s counterpart while introducing new mechanics and behaviors that keep players on their toes. Whether you're facing off against the agile Revenants, the relentless Hell Knights, or the grotesque Cacodemons, every encounter is a nostalgic trip down memory lane, punctuated by the satisfying sound of demon flesh being torn asunder.
But the main story is not where it ends. DOOM has an arcade mode, where players can run through the levels again, this time trying for high scores and medals while collecting 1 Ups. It's important to move fast and have accurate aim; the more kills you chain together, the bigger your score is. Getting hit reduces your score. At the end of the level, your score is tallied against others on a leaderboard. It's a great way to incentivize players to keep playing, in order to get a better and better score.
There is also multiplayer, where players compete in various game modes such as classic deathmatch, warpath and free for all. Players can become demons by collecting runes on the battlefield and this gives them a distinct advantage; demons are larger, stronger and more resilient. Players are bizarrely restricted to only two weapons and a loadout in multiplayer, which blew my mind. Loadouts. In a DOOM game. The demons are also massively unbalanced and if one team manages to get a particularly powerful demon such as a baron of hell, then it's a guaranteed win. All in all, the multiplayer just isn't great. You are better off replaying the story or arcade mode, or even SnapMap.
SnapMap is id Software's proprietary level editor, and it puts every other editor on the market to shame. SnapMap is an incredible, intuitive, easy to learn system allowing players to create their own multiplayer, co-op and single player maps. There is an extensive tutorial system that teaches users the basics, and goes up in depth, covering how to use AI triggers, switches, combinations, object layering, actions, recalls, audio cues, etc. Never have I ever seen such an in-depth interface on a console game before. While it is only surface level in the grand scheme of things, SnapMap is a great introduction to teaching users how game development works, and I urge everyone to try it out at least once.
Part II: The Music
In DOOM, the music isn't just a background accompaniment – it's a driving force that propels players forward, electrifying every moment of the gameplay experience. Composed by the incredibly talented Mick Gordon, the soundtrack of DOOM is a relentless onslaught of metal and electronica that perfectly complements the game's fast-paced action and visceral combat. From the moment you boot up the game, you're greeted by the iconic strains of the main theme, a haunting melody that sets the tone for the epic journey that lies ahead. As you traverse the game's environments, the music shifts seamlessly between atmospheric ambience and pulse-pounding metal.
But it's not just the composition of the music that makes it so memorable – it's also the way it's integrated into the gameplay itself. Mick Gordon's dynamic scoring system ensures that the music evolves in real-time based on the player's actions, ramping up in intensity during combat encounters and dialing back during quieter moments of exploration. This creates a sense of momentum and flow that enhances the overall pacing of the game
One of the standout features of the soundtrack is its use of unconventional instrumentation and sound design. Mick Gordon's signature sound combines distorted guitars, pounding drums, and industrial noise to create a sonic palette that is as brutal and unforgiving as the game itself. From the deep, guttural growls of the synth bass to the ear-shredding shrieks of the guitar solos, every element of the music is designed to evoke a sense of chaos and destruction, mirroring the relentless carnage unfolding onscreen.
Of course, no discussion of the music in DOOM would be complete without mentioning the iconic tracks that have become synonymous with the game. From the adrenaline-fueled "Rip & Tear" to the bone-crushing "BFG Division," each track is a masterpiece of composition and production, perfectly capturing the essence of the DOOM experience and elevating it to new heights. Mick Gordon's composition for the DOOM soundtrack is a tour de force in heavy metal and industrial electronica, meticulously crafted to evoke the essence of the game's frenetic gameplay.
The backbone of the soundtrack is the distorted guitar, which provides the driving force behind many of the tracks. Gordon's use of extended-range guitars and custom-tuned instruments gives the music its signature low-end punch, while his aggressive playing style adds a raw, visceral energy to the sound. In addition to guitars, Gordon incorporates a wide range of electronic and synthetic elements into his compositions, including synthesizers, drum machines, and sampled sounds. These elements are used to create atmospheric textures, rhythmic patterns, and dynamic effects.
One of the most innovative aspects of Gordon's sound design is his use of audio manipulation techniques, such as granular synthesis and spectral processing. These techniques allow him to deconstruct and manipulate audio in real-time, creating complex textures and effects.
Perhaps the most revolutionary aspect of Mick Gordon's composition for DOOM is his dynamic scoring system, which adjusts the music in real-time based on the player's actions. This system, known as "MIDI-controlled dynamic music," allows the music to seamlessly transition between different layers and variations depending on the intensity of the gameplay. Gordon achieves this dynamic effect by dividing each track into multiple stems or layers, each representing a different element of the music (e.g., drums, guitars, synths). These stems are then triggered and mixed in real-time using MIDI data generated by the game engine, allowing the music to adapt and evolve dynamically as the player progresses through the game.
Part III: Building a Legacy
All too often in this industry, legacy franchises are either left in the dust to be forgotten, or brought back to a limp fanfare, only to be thrust back into the shadows of the past. This happens for a myriad of reasons, and I believe the biggest one is that they don't respect their legacy, and they don't respect the players who engage with them.
At its core, DOOM is a game that understands what players want: fast-paced action, engaging gameplay, and a sense of empowerment. By focusing on these core principles, id Software created an experience that resonated with players old and new, capturing the spirit of the original games while pushing the series forward. Central to this approach is the game's unwavering commitment to respecting the player. From its minimalist storytelling and streamlined level design to its intuitive controls and dynamic difficulty system, DOOM prioritizes the player's experience above all else, ensuring that every moment of the game is engaging, immersive, and satisfying.
One of the most notable ways that DOOM respects the player is through its approach to difficulty. Rather than imposing artificial barriers or punishing players for their mistakes, the game encourages experimentation and mastery through its responsive gameplay mechanics and adaptive enemy AI. Players are given the freedom to approach encounters in their own way, whether it's through brute force, cunning strategy, or a combination of both.
Another key aspect of DOOM's player-centric design is its emphasis on accessibility. From its difficulty settings and intuitive user interface to its robust accessibility features, such as colorblind modes and customizable controls, the game ensures that players of all skill levels and abilities can enjoy the experience without feeling excluded or overwhelmed.
But perhaps the most important way that DOOM respects the player is through its commitment to fun. At its core, DOOM is a game that prioritizes the player's enjoyment above all else, delivering a seamless and exhilarating experience that keeps players coming back for more. Whether you're blasting demons with a shotgun, exploring hidden secrets, or rocking out to Mick Gordon's pulse-pounding soundtrack, DOOM is a game that never stops prioritizing YOU.
DOOM's legacy is one of respect – respect for the player, respect for the franchise, and respect for the medium of video games as a whole. By prioritizing fun, accessibility, and player agency, id Software created an experience that not only honors the legacy of the original games but also sets a new standard for what a modern first-person shooter can be. And for that, we owe them a debt of gratitude.

Hi, I just learned that shorthand, in general, exists. I am in a job that doesn't typically use official shorthand, but my job requires me to know and recall essentially every single thing I hear or see all day, every day, and who gave me that information and/or who the information applies to (I am in the medical field). Some of my colleagues flat out memorize things without writing, but I need to write it down. There's not enough time for me to ask people to repeat themselves later, and depending on who I'm working with each day, some superiors get easily annoyed repeating anything and will report it as evidence of incompetence at my job. We are able to use computers/laptops to remind ourselves of pertinent patient information/lab values, etc. but I like to be as prepared as possible for times when I don't have that easy access. In addition, I only have so much time to speak to patients in the morning before I have to report on them, and stopping to write full sentences on my notepad isn't the most efficient use of my time. I have two questions:

1. what shorthand would you recommend, keeping in mind that I don't have (a) year(s) to learn it.
2. I have read that Improved Ford Shorthand could be good, but people keep referring to "fordshorthand.com" as where they learned it. Unfortunately, that website no longer exists. So how/where do I learn it?

WARNING: I talk a lot.
Quick background: 2021 was the year I first listened to BNL. All I heard were their big singles from Gordon, Stunt and Maroon (One Week, Pinch Me, It's All Been Done, etc.). But in 2022, I listened to Gordon in full, and it impressed me. Then I checked out Stunt, and let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, I ADORE that album. I also listened to Maroon, and while good, I'd honestly rather pick the other two over it.
Last year I listened to MYSD, BoaPS and Rock Spectacle to feed the itch. And this month, I listened to EtE and BLAM (can we call this a double album?).
Here's my basic rundown on all of them:
context: this is from the perspective of a Gen-Z'er. Can confirm the quality crosses generations.
Hopefully I don't piss too many people off with my opinions.
1). Gordon: very good
-Best tracks: Grade 9, Brian Wilson (duh), Wrap Your Arms Around Me, What a Good Boy, Box Set, I Love You, The Flag, Million Dollars (classic)
-Weakest track: probably New Kid (on the Block). It's the one song I rarely revisit for some reason. Probably because it sounds too much like Enid and Box Set.
=More jazzier than I thought
=Very uncommon to see a band take off running on their debut record. Each of these songs can stand firmly on their own with few exceptions, which is something I always value in albums. This is required listening if you want to know what BNL are all about (at least, in their earlier days, sonically speaking).
2). Maybe You Should Drive: not bad. Pretty good.
-Best tracks: Jane (feels like a song this Spanish artist my dad loves named Jose Luis Perales would make), These Apples, A (I love the drum outro), Am I the Only One?, Life in a Nutshell
-Least favorite track: I will be Waiting (too twee for me. I feel like I'm listening to Hey There Delilah, and I actually like that song).
=probably the one I come back to the least. Not because it's bad by any means, but their other albums feel more memorable. Sitting next to Gordon, this doesn't really compare. There's also more electric guitars, compared to Gordon being very acoustic-based.
=There's some other songs I remember loving like Great Provider, but idk, this feels like a middle-of-the-road type of album. Still a good 7 or light 8, however. It does also have some of Tyler's best drum tones.
3). Born on a Pile of Pirate Ship: damn good
-Best tracks: This is where it ends (Jesus, Steve), When I Fall (Jesus Ed, I didn't expect this to be about a suicidal window-washer), I Live with it Every Day (Jesus, Steve.......), Break your Heart (Jesus Christ, Steve.....), Same Thing (really somber for a song that references the Fantastic Four), Shoebox
-Weakest tracks: Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank, and I Know. Both are alright, but they scream "B-Side" tbh. Definitely could've been cut out.
=Overall, as you could probably pick up from my favorite tracks, I think I love this album because of how somber and introspective it gets. Some of their most crushing songs are on here. Though Shoebox does close it out on a more light-hearted note (at least sonically).
4). Stunt: my favorite
-Best tracks (so many!): Call and Answer (one of the greatest songs I've ever heard, which is something I don't say lightly), It's all been Done (my favorite BNL guitar solo), In the Car, Who Needs Sleep (that chorus is the most earwormy thing they've done), Some Fantastic, When you Dream
-Weakest track: if we're including the bonus tracks, definitely She's on Time. Feels very samey and borderline uninteresting.
If going by the normal track listing, Alcohol. And even then, it's only really because I haven't revisited it as much as the others. That, and I don't think it works that well as the song that precedes Call and Answer.
=Like I said, I dunno man, there's something magical about this record that makes me swoon over it. Probably not their overall best, but definitely my favorite. It's an album I can describe as one I'd like to take with me on a desert island.
=It's bright, loud, but also tender.
=That said, my one peeve is the track listing isn't perfect. Mostly speaking, It's all been done honestly could work amazingly as one of the closing tracks. And Call and Answer I feel would work better if it was placed after Who Needs Sleep or something, instead of being the smack-dab middle song. There's a reason this was a live staple and show-closer.
=Still, as a whole/unit, I love Stunt.
=I think I have 80-90% of the verses to One Week memorized.
5). Maroon: Good, but I prefer some of their other albums.
-Best tracks: Pinch Me (this BNL song means a lot to me, lyrically. I tend to spin it whenever I'm going through a tough time mentally. It's also a good guitar warm-up), Never do Anything, Falling for the First Time, Off the Hook, Helicopters, Tonight is the Night......, Hidden Sun (Kevin knows how to do lullabies)
-Weakest tracks: Too Little Too Late, Go Home, Humor of the Situation (catchy as it is)
=Like Pirate Ship, the strongest moments lie in the serious tracks.
=This is my "hot" take: I don't love Maroon as much as everyone else does. Big reason is because Steve sings lead on most of the album. And look, I love the man as much as the next guy, and his voice is undeniably godlike, but ngl, there's something about Steve and Ed sharing vocals (or having an equal number of songs they sing lead on) that I really love. Another reason I love Stunt, they each get a good number of songs to shine in. I know the trade-in is Steve & Ed had a whole Lennon-McCartney/Collingwood-Schlesinger writing credit thing to my knowledge, but still, maybe Ed could've sung lead on at least 1 or 2 other songs (Steve still absolutely slays the performances on all his songs, no doubt).
=Even then, I can't call Maroon a "Steve Page solo" album either, as that sort of BNL signature quirkiness and cleverness that comes from the Page-Robertson duo is still found (Never do Anything, Sell Sell Sell).
=I also sometimes think it's not as interesting sonically. I liked Stunt because of how distinct nearly every track was, but Off the Hook and Helicopters, great songs as they are, can feel samey. I feel Maroon lacks some of that extra energy and punch.
=But still, a really solid record. And I definitely don't blame anyone for saying it's their favorite/BNL's best. Pinch Me is still one of the most intimate and personal BNL songs for me, as someone who struggles with anxiety and occasionally, self-harm (hope that wasn't too TMI, but I'm very well right now).
Alright, these next three I barely listened to for the first time this past weekend, so these are my quicker, fresh thoughts. We'll see how they change by next year.
6). Everything to Everyone:
-best tracks: Another Postcard (Ed's verses are too damn catchy), Testing 123 (a fantastic meta track that leaves me smiling. It's weirdly uplifting, if introspective), Next Time, Shopping, War on Drugs (I feel I'm only going to love this more with time), Aluminum (pretty somber), the last three songs
-least favorite: Unfinished. And it's literally only because I can't remember how it goes again. Again, I just listened to this album on Saturday. Give me time.
=I hyped myself up for this album a bit. It feels pretty ambitious
=I'd listen to this over Maroon because of the more varied sounds. Shopping has some nifty electronica, For You is more softer and acoustic-laced, and Maybe Katie leans more on Old Apartment style guitar power.
7). Barenaked Ladies are Me: very simple, but in a perfected way.
-best tracks: Easy, Home (this is I will be waiting, but infinitely better), Peterborough and the Kawarthas, Maybe you're right (the emotional climax of the record in the key of C), the last 4 tracks (a lot of the track listing is a home run).
-weakest track: Everything had Changed
=I can't remember when, but at what point, I couldn't help but smile and think "God I love this band!"
8). Barenaked Ladies are Men: still good, but Are Me was undeniably better
-best tracks: Serendipity, Down to Earth, Beautiful (I love those whispered lines Steve does), Half a Heart, Maybe not, I Can I Will I Do, What a Letdown, Fun and Games (really neat tone that treads on black humor)
-weakest tracks: Something you'll never find (it ends great, but overall, the song goes for longer than it should), Angry People
=Definitely not as great as Are Me. Biggest reason is it's too long. Cut out a few songs, maybe rearrange the track listing, and it would work better. But even then, are Me had a better streak of top notch songs. Are Men feels at times like a bonus album, as opposed to being an equal to are Me.
=Still worth listening to, but again, it didn't need to be 16 songs.
=Of course, with almost 30 songs recorded, I'm not going to remember all of them. Come back to me maybe next year when they've all sunken in for me.
So yeah! That's my two cents on all of the main Steven Page BNL releases! There's something great in each of these records, and I wouldn't take back any of it. My new favorite band.
My ranking from best to weakest

1. Stunt
2. BNL are Me (admittedly, mostly due to recency bias)
3. Born on a Pirate Ship
4. Gordon
5. Everything to Everyone
6. Maroon
7. BNL are Men
8. Maybe you should drive

All that's left is to listen to Snacktime and As you Like it.
I'll listen to the Post-Steven albums next year. I'm more than certain they're not as great, but I liked Daydreaming, Odds Are, and Get Back.
I listened to the Vanity Project last year, and I thought it was alright. Page One tho......OH MY GOD IT'S SO GOOD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! Clifton Springs is another "tough times" song I come back to.
Random side-note: I will always associate BNL with Evangelion. Don't ask (or do, idk).

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I will start by saying I have minimal tax experience. I studied for 3 weeks for part 1 using the Passkey standard subscription and passed on my first try but during the test I felt like I was bombing it. I studied profusely to the point that I got 97's multiple times on the practice exams, every section was at "100%" completion on my dashboard. I could explain the answers on the MCQ's not just memorizing them.
There was a lot of questions on the actual test about topics or details that weren't covered in the MCQ's. I literally wanted to cry out of frustration when I got to the second half and answered every question I knew and only half of them were answered. The rest were truly guesses on topics I hadn't studied, I didn't even feel like I could make educated guesses or common sense guesses because they just weren't those type of questions it's like you either know it or you don't. I didn't do great on the test because I got a "2" in every topic except one which was credits and deductions I got a "3", I'm grateful I passed with 2's but I'm just making the point that despite my efforts in studying I didn't nail it.
So does anyone have advice for studying and/or passing part 3 also using the Passkey standard subscription? I've been lurking on this sub and saw several comments saying it's easy but after my experience with the first test I am having anxiety about it.

I'm stopping by a bar on Wednesday that has open mic night. I want to read a poem, or poems, and I'm curious what the community here would read.
I might do something by Lucile Clifton, I'm still looking around for something light and fun but also memorable with some depth to think about. Suggestions welcomed. Thank you.

f 20
i graduated highschool at 16, didn’t know what to do with my life. but i still took general classes in college at 17 yrs old, for at least 27 college credits. then took a year & semester off to focus on myself. i actually had fun, partied a bit & got myself out of my shell since throughout highschool i was always the lonely kid.
i have this huge fear of being stuck in a midlife crisis with a career that fails me. so i just kept working minimum wage, got myself a pharmacy tech certification from a easy course & that’s the only best experience i have. then eventually i found my career goal, data scientist. :)
i was invited to like 3 graduation parties this weekend. i checked social media & noticed so so many people i know have graduated. it made me happy for them, but at the same time i felt so behind.
it’s like, i see all these friend groups on social media & their captions are “junior year!!!” or “one more year!!!” and i feel bummed out. i don’t have any real or true close friends like these people do.
i work at a boring job, still live with my parents, barely motivated to go out more, never met my soulmate or significant other, about to finish a semester at a community college. my mom asked me today “ugh when are you gonna go to university? isn’t it time?” and that made me a bit upset.
i got my future figured out, but it feels like i did it way too late. i just regret not doing all of this earlier. i don’t know if i’m ever gonna make more friends or go out more. i don’t know when i’ll feel successful or when i can have my memorable moments again.

A poem I found on the internet maybe in sometime in 2000-2010, its a continuation/analys of the age old question "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck".
I'm aware of the Monkey Island continuation... "A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood... But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck..." and so on. But that's only 5 lines.
And what I'm looking for isn't that, this went on for a solid page. I believe it went into more abstract things like economics... It read like an essay, but was so full of rhymes and wordplay that it could also be considered a poem. It was quite funny.
I though it would be easy to find... but no.