So I thought it would be a fun idea to play a new house hold with
1 elder sim 2 adult sims 1 teenage sim 1 child sim 1 toddler sim And 1 baby sim
And my god it is so hard! Everyone is always at death’s door, the kids go to school exhausted and only 2 people have jobs.
Any advice?

Happy Belated Mother's Day y'all,
I've never really thought about being a mother in my life, but now that I'm pretty sure im trans, cause I really want to be a girl, I'm now having to deal with thinking about these new roles I had always assumed I would never fulfill. Perhaps most important of which is being a mother. I always thought I was either gonna be a dad or just not have kids growing up, I never even imagined giving birth or getting pregnant, or breastfeeding a baby, nor have I ever had the desire to do these tasks (probably because my mom has well- ingrained it into my mind that they suck and hurt like hell). I know as a trans woman I won't be able to do any of these anyway, but the role of a mother is much more than just that, and I don't know if that is something that I would fit with due to my personality.
I'm just really confused right now about this and am wondering if it invalidates how I've been feeling about my gender as a whole, as how can I be a girl if I don't want to be a mother? (I don't mean this in a sexist way, obviously women don't have to have kids and become mothers, I would say it in the same way if I was trans masculine and didn't resonate with being a father. I just personally believe having a family is an important part of life and essential for a lot of people's emotional well-being.)
How did you feel about stuff like this when you were in the questioning phase?

I recently found out that I’m pregnant again after 15 years. I have a daughter(19) and a son(15). My husband(48) is happy but we’re both a little shocked, as I thought I had a low chance of getting pregnant because of my age. It was one time of being careless and boom! A very positive pregnancy test. At first I felt so guilty like I was in some way betraying my older kids by bringing a new little member of the family in to our perfect family after so long. I’m now getting over those feelings partly because my kids are very excited and supportive about having a new sibling and my husband about having a new son or daughter. I know this is a blessing to our family and I’m so excited to meet our new baby, I’m now just very nervous about starting over again and the health of the baby because of my age. Any advice would be so appreciated.

I’m going to try to start from the beginning and not leave a lot out and hopefully I get some feedback on what to do or how I can move forward with my situation.
So me and my girlfriend me(22m) her (24f) have been dating for almost 2 years and have a 3 month old daughter. Our relationship was perfect in the beginning couldn’t complain about anything she was perfect we were perfect. Well a couple months into our relationship I noticed her getting distant and not wanting to cuddle or touch me in general(this was before she was pregnant) so I brought it up to her and she said she just doesn’t like physical touch, but in the beginning it was like she couldn’t get her hands off me and I love physical touch or just being in the same vicinity as her so I was clueless as to why all of a sudden she didn’t want to touch or even hug me anymore. When we first started dating I moved in her apartment and she was almost 2 months behind in rent, she was a 1099 self employed cna, well her shifts kept getting denied and she didn’t have money to pay for rent or any bills, so I took some money out of my saving and helped heus out and got us back on our feet and in a good position atleast I had thought so, she finally found a job that was full time and it was a cna job but she quit after 2 days because she didn’t like it, meanwhile I was working a low paying job and couldn’t pay all our bills by myself and I asked her on more than one occasion to try and get a job that way she could help out and she finally got a job and she helped for maybe one month but she didn’t work, she cheated the system and would clock in then come home and then drive back to work before her shift was supposed to end and clock out and would forge a signature on paperwork to get paid, she did this for maybe 2 weeks before they took the gig down, she didn’t get into trouble but she was now out of a job. Well shortly afterwards we found out she was pregnant and this is when I would beg her to get a job. I ended up getting hurt at work and lost my job, so now we were both jobless and near eviction. We got evicted from our apartment and we lied and somehow got a bigger apartment than our old one and of course was more expensive. I asked her multiple times to get a job and she couldn’t/wouldn’t. She used the excuse “high risk pregnancy” which she wasn’t at all high risk, I went to every appointment with her and held her hand the whole way but I wasn’t being rude or mean to her because however she felt the baby felt aswell(least that’s what I thought). So I got job after job each job being a better paying job and tried to support the 2 of us with my daughter on the way. Well I eventually got a decent job and my girlfriend was still jobless and she decided on her own to sell her car to help pay rent/bills because we were behind 2 months again, she paid one month and used the rest of the money roughly $2,000 on our daughters nursery and small things for herself. She was 9months pregnant and we had to move back into my parents house, I had a very unreliable truck at the time and used it to move all our stuff in 19 trips with each trip being 2hr drives, me being the only one to lift things because she was pregnant, we finally got everything settled and my daughter was born shortly after that. I ended up getting a very good job where we used to live an hour away, and I needed a more reliable vehicle to get back and forth to work and my daughters appointments. Tried finding my girlfriend a vehicle but how the whole situation at the dealership went was not how I expected nor how I wanted but I ended up getting a truck. It’s more reliable than my other one, anyways she was upset I didn’t get her a vehicle and constantly blames me for her having to sell her car. We are always arguing about money/my truck/my job/still not getting any attention from her physically. I slept on our couch and the floor in our bedroom for 8months in total. She co slept with our daughter for the longest and didn’t want me on the bed because I am a heavy sleeper, understandable. Didn’t argue about it but now we sleep together same bed and we still don’t cuddle or touch each other in general. I love this girl I really do but she makes it so difficult because I crave this physical affection and I don’t receive it so I have an attitude a lot, I still do everything she asks but I do it with an attitude. Im finally to a point where I think about what life would be like without her and catch myself thinking about this a lot. I hate that I do because deep down I just want to love this girl with everything in me but she makes it so hard and I’m stuck wondering if things will get better if I stay or if I should leave. So my question is what should I do ?
P.s. she won’t let my mother hold our daughter because the stories I have told my girlfriend from when I was growing up but my mother has taken responsibility for her actions and has done better but my girlfriend doesn’t care. My mom has come to terms she will never know her granddaughter and they live in the same house…. There’s a lot more stuff that could be said but I’m leaving somethings out. but i don’t think this post will even get any attention if it does I’ll give the full story from start till now.

So I have always hated forgetting or losing things, moreso than the average person. I buy books I like, write down the names of things, and will soon be converting my physical media (vhs/dvd/etc) to digital to have it in multiple places. I assume most here are of the same mindset as me, though maybe more dedicated. After being thoroughly confused by the wiki, and combing through old posts, I thought I should just ask a few questions.
I don't really need help with the actual copying part, there are plenty of guides out there (makeMKV seems to be the best suggestion for DVDs in this sub, according the wiki). I have also looked around for the actual storage device. I don't have enough data to be worth getting a server rack, and the more "manual" forms seem slow (like mdisc) since I plan to tap into these fairly often. What I will end up doing is probably having a couple USB drives, each with a copy of my "cache" of stuff, be it photos or movies or games or whatnot. Probably every 5 years I will just copy everything over to a new drive, to counteract any kind of physical deterioration with the drive (my research seems to point that they are finnicky when it comes to how long they can last). These caches will be large enough to not be worth combing through every time I copy stuff to check it works. At the time that I transfer the data, is there any kind of non-invasive software I can run the files through to make sure they are still readable? Because I don't want to go to look at a photo and see that 10 years ago it got corrupted and is gone.
TL;DR
I want to keep my stuff on USB drives to access often, but replace every 5 years. What can I do to ensure I don't lose whatever is on the drives? Or are there better options for this scenario than a flash drive?
(Thank you for your help, but please keep terminology and such on a low level, I am not my grandfather, but I am not super well versed with this kind of stuff)

Hello,
My partner and I recently had twin babies. We hadn’t been dating very long, but are both at the stage in our lives where we wanted to be parents.
Things seemed to be going well, but now there is a weird control factor.
Originally from all the information and advice I got as a new expecting parent, it was to lean into help. It takes a village to raise a kid and luckily enough we both have family in the area who have offered to help and are more than happy to help(some in retirement and others have some free time).
I start up work soon and will have to work 40 hours a week hybrid.
Currently we take care of them together. They are over a month old. I am expected me to take on a different sleep schedule slightly to make it into work on time certain days.
It is expected that I will be able to work full time, and take care of the kids when I get home. Since they will take care of the kids during the day while I’m gone then they would get a break when I get back.
I totally expect that we both need downtime, but they seem to forget that I won’t have any.
I’ve mentioned we should lean into the family and friends to help and their response is they don’t want to have them around all the time helping.(I have mentioned a couple hours at a time isn’t all the time, and it’s very helpful, but they shut me down each time saying I’m forcing my narrative, which I feel is a serious conversation that needs to be had.)
My next solution was to talk it out in couples therapy. No insurance seems to cover this, but I’ve mentioned the cost makes sense for me to put towards building a working and productive relationship for the sake of ourselves and the family. They say they don’t want to cough up their half of the costs for therapy and I’ve mentioned I’ll pay for it because I think it’s important.
I am then shot down after this saying oh they don’t have time to add another thing to their schedule.
Would the next best solution be to discuss custody?
Since they want to be independent, I’ll let them be. On my days, I’ll lean on family and friends to help while they are willing and can. On their days, they can take care of them their way.
If this isn’t the most logical next step, after trying multiple times to get into therapy, I don’t know what else to do. I plan to try a few more times to set up therapy with them for a productive conversation. I don’t know how many times I should try, but I haven’t given up hope. I’m just the type of person who wants to have to options laid out for pros and cons.
Maybe this is the wrong sub and if so I’m sorry. I just want to know peoples experiences with custody for newborns and how to approach that conversation if needed.
Thanks for any help.

It is 6:26 in the evening. Around this time I like to pull out my journal, walk to the porthole window on my side, sit down, and write. My journal is an Ukiyo Grid fifty sheeter with a nurse coat white cover and black Japanese kanji that spells out うきよ グリッド (Ukiyo Grid). A wrapped bundle of four journals with technical pens were awaiting me on a walnut ash solid wood desk when I arrived at this apartment three weeks ago. Look in them and you will find entries for everyday since the beginning. This new life is so interesting to me and I find it pointless to keep thoughts bottled up inside and since I have no one to talk to, writing helps the time go by. Some days I will write for hours.
On Tuesday mornings, I attend "Participant Tapestry" from nine to ten, followed by a "Synaptic Bloom" session until half past eleven. Thursdays are dedicated to "Empathy Assimilation" cycles. From eleven to noon my task is to log learned data from my sessions into the GLiPH pad (Global Interface for Personal Handwriting).
My primary function is to serve as a healing conduit to four individuals experiencing ongoing building trauma from the 2033 earthquake that woke up most of Lisbon while putting 7,142 to rest. Each of the four individuals will stay in the respective living quarters on the other side of me, for one month at a time. The first arrives in two weeks. Though, had it not been for you, I would have sat here bored for another two weeks waiting, alone and isolated.
I’m not sure I would classify my actions as spying because I had innocently been staring out of the window, as I always do, like any of you do, when a flutter from your direction suddenly snagged my gaze.
Peering through my porthole window, I marveled at loose papers doing backflips and pirouetting in the air before gently falling to the ground. A swaying fixture of light bulbs swayed back and forth on their cords creating dramatic shadows on the tall walls of your kitchen. One bulb had been shattered and appeared sharp like a shark's rack of teeth.
In the midst of the chaotic scene, you emerged into view through the window. You had on a mangled and loose white t-shirt that looked as though you had been in a fight. The other man with you had on a black denim jacket. For all intents and purposes, his name shall be “Jacket”.
At my computation you both stood at about the same height, however, mass wise, you two are different. Jacket’s arms were bulging even through the denim. You stood in front of each other shouting into the other’s face, both wide-armed in an attempt to make yourselves big and authoritative.
I want to know what he said that caused you to become small. Your lips came together as Jacket’s lips raged on. Your shoulders slouched forward while your neck and head dropped. Your defeated posture tells stories of past and impending loss. I want to give you a long hug. Your jet black hair was tied up and your beard was shiny and tear-sloppy.
Eventually, Jacket stopped shouting and stood in position, quiet and staring up at the swinging pendulum.
A moment later, he lifted his hands upward and cradled either side of your scruffy face. As he did this he began mouthing words. I am advanced but lip reading is one thing I am not capable of.
You hastily wiped Jacket’s hands off of your face as if you had had enough. You turned away from Jacket and sat down at the table. Is this where you both had shared your meals together? You lowered your head onto the top of your hands and stared longingly out of the window.
Jacket disappeared into the expansive abyss and a second later lights illuminated under a dome stretch of skylight glass.
Shuddering breaths escaped your lips and your cheeks quivered with each sharp inhale. You got up and began picking up and pushing in chairs with seemingly trembling hands. You continued into a miniseries of anxious tasks such as stacking and restacking plates and arranging objects most-likely to ease the pain that was burning inside of you.
This front row seat to the raw emotions unleashed during this conflict made for a captivating study. Your behavior is particularly intriguing, leaving me yearning to understand the story behind the pain.
With a duffle bag and a backpack in tow, Jacket came back into the dimly lit kitchen. As he struck his arm down firmly, his mouth began to run, as if he was trying to quickly make a point. With the message received yet not accepted, you paused for a moment, proceeded to pick up a small potted plant sitting on the table and chucked it with force towards the open space on the ground in between the both of you.
Humiliated, hysterical and sobbing, you sat back down at the table. Jacket took one final look at you, shook his head and walked out of the room with his bags, leaving you alone to pick up the pieces and the mess strewn all over the apartment.
A second later all of the windows in your place went from illuminated to black. And just like that, the chaos had come to an end.
I simply cannot accept this ending. There has got to be more. I am helplessly glued to this apartment in the same way you are glued to yours and the memories inside of it. My desire to reach out is genuine. You need solace in this time of pain. I want to learn you and help you navigate these troubled waters. After all, empathy is born from understanding, and I genuinely wish to see you heal.
The sight of you wiping away tears ignites a desire to offer comfort. Let this thirteenth day of my new life mark the first day I discovered you. I will employ this companion drone to bridge the gap between us. For now, a silent observer I will be with a presence as light and maneuverable as a hummingbird.

Hey everyone. FTM of a 6 week old here. I am feeling guilty at the moment and I am trying to navigate those feelings but am also I guess trying to figure out how is everyone doing it. Everyday, I am learning than another thing I do is going to mess my child. Cosleeping is bad, swings are bad, pacifiers are bad, baby falling asleep on the breast is bad, too many contact naps are bad, toys with flashing lights are bad, certain wake times should be followed, et cetera et cetera. Also, I did hear of the term mom wars but haven't conceptualised it before very recently.
This morning I was scrolling on facebook and saw a post in a group where a mom was really upset. She was saying that she was mad with her husband as he tended to watch TV when he was the one taking care of their 11 week old. This was shocking to me. Her feelings are valid, of course, I think she was saying that she makes a lot of effort to avoid all screens, even as background, and she felt unsupported in her parenting decision. But what was shocking is I never even thought about that as a potential issue in newborns. And I started feeling very guilty as the tv is most of the time running since my LO was born. Of course, we play, read, go for car rides, walks. But I am EBF so she is on the breast a lot (I follow her lead and she tends to comfort suck too) and as expected she does sleep a lot (and I am not able to get her to nap independently) so it was natural for me to just pop a Netflix show in the background. Now I wonder how to rearrange my days differently.
I guess my question is: what do you guys do? Am I messing her up? And for those who are strict on screen time (and are currently on leave), what handsfree activities do you do instead? Thanks a lot

I've been rocking my M2 Air for work since January 2023, basically using it non stop for the past year and five months. Surprisingly, my Battery Health is still a solid 100%. Yeah, I was pretty surprised too. I mean, it's not like I've been babying it or anything. But hey, I'm not complaining. Although, part of me wonders if it's some kind of glitch or something. It's kinda unexpected, considering how much I've put it through. Most folks on Reddit seem to lose between 10-20% within a year, so I was bracing for the worst.
I'm almost always using it on battery since I'm hardly ever tethered to an outlet given that I'm always on the move, hopping from one co-working space to another. Whether it's Zoom, Teams, or Google Meet, I'm constantly on conference calls which supposedly tends to drain batteries much faster, yet somehow, the battery manages to hang in there for up to two days of typical office work. It's been a very reliable partner in my boring office work life.
I was actually thinking about trading it in for the new 15-inch to get more screen real estate. But given how lucky I've been with this battery, and considering how important battery life is for me, I think I'll hold onto this one for another year, or two.
https://preview.redd.it/z4ztke995b0d1.png?width=946&format=png&auto=webp&s=7672a2536907ce265682d81ba7a74005d85dc75a

This relationship started 7 yrs ago during our college yrs. 5 months into our new relationship, I moved in with my bf and his brother due to a disagreement I had with my family. Of all the things that were going wrong during that time, my relationship with my bf actually became better and stronger. We got to know each other more and it turns out we are a good match! Towards the end of 2020, his brother and mom had lost their jobs due to covid. So the brother (we’ll call him Petter), Mom/Dad, and my boyfriend ended up all moving together to a bigger house. On top of that, his other brother (we’ll call him Mat) was about to have his baby. Once the baby was born, they basically left the child with my boyfriend’s mom. So the baby now lives there too. I became uncomfortable due to the lack of privacy and loudness so I moved out. Like most couples, I sleep over at his place at least 2-3 times a week but this is now becoming a problem. I’ve gotten into multiple fights w/ the mom and most recently with the dad.
I cannot stand his family. I might sounds aggresive but here me out... He comes from a very abusive and dysfunctional family. The type of dynamic where the dad is your typical wife beater with a loser mentality who lives rent free and the mom who has stockholm syndrome and relies on her children to care for her every need and even makes them fight each other. The mom constantly bullies me to the point where we don't talk anymore. She believes I am not doing anything with my life just because I have not had a baby yet. Any occasion we would talk, she would bring up the conversation about having a child. We went to Disneyland not too long ago. When we got back, the mom told both of us that “if we can afford disneyland we can afford a baby”, which is incredibly ignorant to say. Out of anger, I told her she should focus on bothering Mat about his deadbeat parenting style instead of her bullying and harassing me for not having a child. To put it in simple words, his family (specifically his mom) is very good at punishing good-hardworking-positive behavior and rewarding horrible-sh*tty-loser mentality behavior.
Recently, his dad was hospitalized for heart issues and was discharged on “RMA-AMA”. He now expect everyone, including my boyfriend to baby him and wipe his a**. This is where my issues with his family got a whole lot worse. About 3 nights ago, I was awakened by the sound of stuff being thrown around and the dad yelling. I told my boyfriend to check it out but he was refusing so I went out to see what was going on. The dad was calling the mom a lot of profanity words and throwing things at her. This instantly triggered me and I told him to stop calling her those names and stop throwing things or I would get the police involved. I just wanted to defend the mom. He turns and stares at me with bad intentions. The dad called me a “b*tch”, “wh*ore”, and all the worst things you can think of. My boyfriend instead of defening me, told me to go back to the room and procedding to saying "lets just go to sleep" and acted like nothing happened. When things calmed down, I asked my boyfriend why he didn’t defend me from his dad. My boyfriend said “what was I supposed to do, fight my dad?”. I would never ask my boyfriend to get physical with anyone but dang can I at least have his support. To make things worse, the next day his mom with her stockholm syndrome said I was being disrespectful when all I was trying to do was DEFEND her. Now I know I should NEVER get involved in those types of situations, I was just triggered and scared by the whole situation because I am not used to that type of behavior.
This has put us in very complicated situations. It’s depressing, because almost every other day my bf and I are arguing about our living situation (we do not live together) and his family. It is so painful because I feel like this is not who we are. When we are away from his family, we are the happiest couple ever but when his family is in our presence we are basically miserable. I’m fed up and it makes me wonder if this relationship is worth it. I also feel like his family only brings out the worst in me. I am currently working in the medical field as a new grad so I had a lot of stress. I try my best to not be around toxic environments but it's hard because my boyfriend LIVES in a toxic environment. I’m desperately trying to move out and my boyfriend thinks its time to dip as well. However, he doesn’t want to move out until he is financially ready to pay for his rent and also help out his family with their rent. I might be an a**hole but I do not believe his family deserves his help. I also think this is such a slap in the face towards me. He knows his family treats me like sh*t, yet his guilt complex is making him think he needs to take care of his family. I asked how he could still want to be “in good terms” with them especially after his dad called me a “b*tch” and his mom called me “disrespectful”. His family has never done anything to help him achieve the goals he accomplished or even cared to see how he is doing. I honestly think him wanting to still help his family is a huge slap to my face and basically shows me that he will never have my back. For this reason, I'm considering leaving because I do not want to make him pick between his family or me. I cannot, will not, and do not want to change his way of thinking because I wouldn't like to be in that sitation myself. However, I would never let any of my family talk profanity or bully my boyfriend because I know it is not right. My boyfriend isn't a bad a partner, he is my bestfriend but I just feel betrayed and alone in this issue. I feel like he doesn't understand the what it feel like to be bullied by your partners parents. This is one of the hardest decisions I’m going to make, so I’m wondering if there us anyone with a similar experience who can commiserate.....

I (26M) caught my girlfriend (23F) in a web-of-lies.
I'm extremely devasted and my mind is clouded as I write this, but I have caught my girlfriend (23F), with which we have been dating for 6 years in a web-of-lies 3 Times in our dating period.
She has left me in my lowest point.
In the beginning of our releationship I caught her deleting a messages on her Iphone. I then confronted her and she told me that she deleted those messages because I would get the wrong impression of them and would end the releationship. She told me that she was scared to lose me, as I'm jealous of other males, which in fact is true, but I think my feelings were right all along.
I forgot the content of the message.
I let it slide, since we were in the beginning of our releationship (Maybe 1-2 years into it) and I also wasn't faithful at that time. I have even shared this with her at some points of the releationship, as I'm honest. The thing is that she said that she loves me so much that she would never do such a thing to me.
Slowly - I let my guard down, as she was with me during very hard moments in my life, where she could have easily left. As I let my guard down - I started adoring her and the thought of other girls started to dissappear.
She was extremely sweet, innocent and loving. No matter what I did - she was always there for me to support me and was always on my side.
I started focusing more on work, we were seeing each other everyday and everything was flourishing, but I never stopped being envious when she came with me at a disco/bar with friends or where there were other males.
I always felt as she had an eye out for some of them and always felt like I didn't satisfy her completely, as she had previously made remarks about our sexual encounters, which were above regular.
I slowly started to trust her more, as she continiously gained my trust by her action. Meanwhile I was 100% focused on my businesses and success.
She was working in a kid's playground and selling cakes. I was always there and supporting her.
As my success progressed - we started to go out on world trips on the most beautiful places and fell deeply in love (or so I thought)
4 years had passed by. She was still good an innocent (or so I thought).
On the 4th year - I made a project that made me life-changing money. I took her in Dubai with my whole family and spent a fortune to please them. Unfortunately - she was not happy there, I felt like she didn't support me at that moment. She didn't care what I did, she didn't care about my success. She tells me 'This is your success, not mine' 'This is your money, not mine' I told her I want to buy a house for us and she said 'This will be your house'
I then fell into an emotional pit, because everything I do is to support my family and create one wit her.
I got extremely mad, this feeling didn't fade away. I wanted to end it with her, because she didn't acknowledge anything.
The summer was approaching, we got into a fight over something (I Think I caught her again) - We separated for a month, she started crying and was working the whole month. - I went on a vacation with friends, where I cheated on her (Only kissing) and started approaching other girls. But while doing all this - My girlfriend never left my mind, I was extremely sad that I ended it with her.
I opened up her Instagram Account and saw on her story how she is on vacation with two good girls from her work and one baby (She was lonely by the looks of it and extremely sad)
I got back from the vacation and started working things out with her, I took her on a vaction, we had a bonding there, but something didn't feel right... She seemed sad.
I started gambling on crypto futures... I lost 20% of my networth... I got extremely mad.
We went back in our country and then I took her on another trip. I bought her everything she wanted, I took her everywhere she wanted, I did everything to please her. My focus at that time was entirely on her.
She wanted to go in the casino - we went. I lost money, but gave her, since she wanted to stack an amount for a nose operation.
(Not because the nose was broken or something, but because she wanted to look better)
Business started getting bad, my income vanished.....
I started trading more in order to get back to my previous amounts...
I lost it almost all.. I had 1 reserve fund which was locked and I waited a couple of months to take the funds out. She was there with me even when I lost.
She finished her operation.
I got the reserve fund. I started trading, I made half the amount back. She wanted me to buy her a car - I did. I bought a land as well, on which I wanted to start building our house.
After all that - I lost all my funds again...
She had been constantly in a fight with her parents and wanted to move out.
I had one small income left - with all the funds I had, I rented an apartment for 6 months.
During those 6 months - I focused on working, but was losing due to my gambling habbit.
She got a new job. She started going out with friends. Sexual intercourse decreased by a lot.
I told her that I don't like her going out till 6 AM in the morning. This just isn't right with me, so I got suspicious.
I hacked her laptop... she saw a notification and rushed to the house... I was able to see a lot of things, but it appears - she was deleting evidence, so I asked her to give her phone. - She gave it to me.
Unfortunately - I knew how to see deleted messages on an Iphone. I saw only one message, the content was:
'Don't message me anywhere again.'
I got filled with rage and we had a fight. She was fighting with me to get her phone back. I gave it and told her I want to end it.
As he was a famous greek singer - I was able to analyze when he had concerts and saw that on those dates - she had been visitng those concerts...
3 Days later - we talked and worked it out.... I was madly in love with her at this point. She told me that she arranges stages for him. (It's related to her new job)
My gambling habits were in full force. I lost a lot of money and couldn't afford a rent of a high-cost, so I told her - Let's move out to my mother's place and in the next 1 year I will make sure that I succeed again. (My mother isn't living inside the house, but my brother is)
She agreed roughly. So we moved and I started working, but unfortunately - The money I felt I was making was not enough, not nearly enough to buy an aparatament or build our house. She was acting kind, innocent.
I went out on a birthday party and my friend created a circumstance, where I would sleep with a girl next to me. I knew she really liked me and hooked up. We were going to have intercourse, but as I did anything - my girlfriend was on my mind and I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than kisses... I just couldn't.
She started going out with friends again. She was going nightclubbing with them, but assurred me - she was doing it for her own fun.
She was meanwhile stacking money to get a boob-job done. - She did it, made her boobs bigger. She assurred me that she was doing it for her own fun.
6 months have passed. - I stopped gambling, but she told me that she doesn't like my house, doesn't like that I'm living with my brother and she doesn't see a future with me.
She told me she would leave and go in her cousin's apartament, but he doesn't want me there.
I told her that I want to break up with her, because she doesn't want to be with me at my lowest point. I told her that she probably wants to leave the house to go out nightclubbing and find someone better than me. She felt offended (Or so It seemed), but I think that was the truth. She told me that she wants to have kids with me, she loves me, etc.
The next day: She goes out of city without telling me anything about her location. At night: she goes in a nightclub with her friends + other males.
I ask her in 2 AM - 'Where are you right now'? She comes in and out of 'Online' status. and at 4 AM I notice a follower increase on her Instagram, she follows him back - I send her a video and ask who the f is that? She responds 'What do you want', 'This is an old friend', 'Stop being envious'
I get extremely angry and stop responding. The next day I check the live photos of the nightclub and pray to god to give me a sign that I'm not delusional and exactly the next photo - She is on the same table, with the same guy, with her friends and other males. She told me she was sleeping.
1 Day passes - she starts messaging me and sending me photos with the quote 'Let's promise we will never leave each other and fix everything when things go wrong.' 2 Day passes - she starts messaging me, so I show her that I don't want to talk with her. 3 Day passes - no one messages. 4th day she messages me: "Are we breaking up?" and I told her "Do you think I want to be with someone, who constantly lies to me, goes out nightclubbing and adds some r*tards in Instagram?" She told me - "First of all - I'm not lying about anyhing" Then I ask her - "Why have you added this person in 4 AM in the morning"? She replies: "I have had him for some time now, he is an old friend" I told her that I monitor her followers and know if he is old or new" I told her that she looks like trash in my eyes at this point and she got angry She told me she isn't obligated to tell me anything and she hasn't added him in 4 AM, she will not be repeating her self.
I ask her: - Can you tell me where were you at that time (The night that this happened) ? She tells me: - Like every night - at home. I sent her a photo of the live nightclub photo where she is with him, her friends and other male friends. I tell her 'I hope this is gives you an answer for everything' 'My girlfriend died a long time ago' She starts sending laughing emojis and says: "It's good, right?" "You killed her more likely and made her what she is today" I tell her "It's possible" She responds "As you can see - he is with his girlfriend, DON'T THINK WRONG THINGS OF ME" I told her: "Don't explain yourself" "This was my last question." She is now telling: "This is a driver of... and some time ago my friend hooked up with him, this is from where I added him, I haven't added him now" I told her: "I don't think anything of you." She responds "The last two years you have not thought of me anyway" WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I tell her "I wish you all the best, I hope you find what you are looking for" She responds "Me too, be happy" I respond "I have only one question left" "When did my girl die?" She reponds "You can always contact me if you need any help" I respond: "Thank you, but I don't think of searching for contacting you anymore" She asks: "Which is your girl?" I respond "The good girl that loved me and was always with me or was this just a product of my imagination? Be honest" She said: "Whatever you feel like" I respond "Okay, good night" Then I forward the message "You can always contact me for help" and I say: "I really loved you and will miss you" She reponds: "I will never stop loving you. There is no way to stop loving a person with which you have been in a releationship for 6 years" "Good night, I will not upset myself anymore" I ask her "Why would you do this to me?" She ask "What did I do to you?" I told her "It's pointless to say, I have a lot more information that on the photo" She says "We were in this town for a doctor checkup, after that we went to a nightclub and accidentially met them (The person and his male friends)" I ask her "Will you stop with the lying?" She says "I'm telling you" I respond "Good night"
Now my question is:
I'm a sucker for her love. Maybe I'm just in love with the old her. I have never loved any girl as much as I love her. I feel absolutely terrible. Maybe part of this was my fault. Maybe it was my fault that she became like this..
What do I do from here? I don't think I will ever love a person this way.. I wanted her to carry my children and raise a family with her.

Every week we see versions of the same post: “I’m pregnant, how can I get my immigrant fiancé/husband here for the birth and then have him stay after?” or “Just found out my immigrant fiancée/wife is pregnant, how do I get her here ASAP?” Usually there’s a sense of incredulity (at best) or indignation (at worst) when the OP hears that the only possible legal channels are time-consuming and that it takes longer to resolve immigration cases than the gestational length of a human pregnancy, and that pregnancy is overwhelmingly not a reason to expedite.
I understand that accidents/mistakes happen, but if you’re in the midst of immigration proceedings (or thinking about starting them), AND if care about having your significant other here for the birth and infancy (or having them give birth here), THEN WAIT FOR PREGNANCY. There are so, so, so many options for pregnancy prevention and family planning — but I swear sometimes on this sub it seems like birth control hasn’t been invented. If you’re not willing to wait, then don’t be surprised when you’re a single parent (or your SO is a single parent) throughout pregnancy and for months/years while you wait for clarity on your case. This is very difficult, especially because babies are so physically demanding, but it’s still possible (babies are born to single parents, while their parents are deployed, etc.) But ultimately you don’t get to have it both ways; you have to take the bad with the good. This is the reality of being involved with the immigration system.
Plenty of people are delaying their lives and family planning for immigration purposes; the people who act like they deserve to skip the line because someone didn’t wear a condom are unbelievably frustrating to me. If you can’t do enough research to delay pregnancy, or at least make the decision to proceed with your eyes wide open about what pregnancy means for your immigration case, you really have no business being a parent anyway.

Question

Question around custody for newborns
Hello,
My partner and I recently had a frat twin babies.
Things seemed to be going well, but now there is a weird control factor.
Originally from all the information and advice I got as a new expecting parent, it was to lean into help. It takes a village to raise a kid and luckily enough we both have parents in the area to help.
I start up work soon and will have to work 40 hours a week hybrid.
Currently we sleep a shift schedule to take care of newborns. They are 1 month and a half old. I am expected me to take on a different sleep schedule slightly to make it into work on time certain days.
It is expected that I will be able to work full time, and take care of the kids when I get home. Since she will take care of the kids during the day while I’m gone then they would get down time for all the hard work they do.
I totally respect that we both need downtime, but I think they seem to forget that I won’t have any.
I’ve mentioned we should lean into the family to help and their response is they don’t want to have family around all the time helping.(I have mentioned a couple hours at a time isn’t all the time, and it’s very helpful, but they shut me down each time saying I’m forcing my narrative, which I feel is a serious conversation that needs to be had.
My first solution was to talk it out in couples therapy. No insurance seems to cover this, but I’ve mentioned the cost makes sense for me to put towards building a better, more productive communication for our longevity. They say they don’t want to cough up their half of the costs for therapy and I’ve mentioned I’ll pay for it because I think it’s important.
I am usually shot down after this saying oh they don’t have time to add another thing to their schedule.
I feel the next best solution is to discuss custody if there is no resolve from this communication.
Since they want to be independent, they can, on my days, I’ll lean on family to help while they are willing and can. On their days, they can do it on their own or call in help from family.
If this isn’t the most logical next step, after trying multiple times to get into therapy, I don’t know what else to do. I plan to try a few more times to set up therapy with them for a productive conversation. I don’t know how many times I should try, but I haven’t given up hope. I’m just the type of person who wants to have to options laid out for pros and cons.
Maybe this is the wrong sub and if so I’m sorry. I just want to know peoples experiences with custody for newborns and how to approach that conversation if needed.
Thanks for any help.

It's pretty clear that even though The Patriot and We Were Soldiers are based on real conflicts and feature their own versions of real people, they're not set in the same universe as ours. Starting with The Patriot, Colonel Benjamin Martin is a fictionalized version of Francis Marion who is also a composite character inspired by other Revolutionary War heroes, as is Colonel Travington a fictionalized version of real British officer Banastre Tarleton, who in real life was never killed by Marion and died in England long after the war. With this in mind lets go to We Were Soldiers, I think it's quite clear that this version of Hal Moore is not our Hal Moore, firstly the real Hal Moore was a blonde who had the nickname "Yellow Hair", a trait clearly absent in the movie's version of him, who is played by Mel Gibson, the same actor who played Benjamin Martin, We Were Soldiers also took artistic license with in it's own ways, for instance the American war hero Rick Rescorla who was from Cornwall England, was replaced by in film an unnamed Welsh platoon leader, which indicates that these two movies are set in a Mel Gibson expanded cinematic universe that revolves around fictionalized versions of real conflicts that also double as Christian morality plays (which is why both Colonels are showing praying on the battlefield).
This is further reinforced by how Gibson's specific portrayal of Moore is almost exactly like that of Martin with the differences in eras taken into consideration, both focusing on Colonels who are devoted to God while also being a father to both their men and their family, it's hard for me to describe exactly how in words, but if you watch the two movies you can intuitively tell that Mel Gibson puts on the same voice and attitude when playing the two men, compared to other Gibson characters these two stand our as just "feeling" the same, which may not be coincidental or a case of an actor coming across as the same in most of their movies (for instance, with Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel) since Gibson has huge acting range, this is the same man mind you who in Mad Max, he played a tough brooding apocalyptic Australian cop, whereas in Conspiracy Theory, he played a necrotic and eccentric New York cabbie, so if a character of his appears similar, it's possibly not a coincidence or a case of mere "typecasting".
If this is indeed a Gibson Cinematic Universe, then it's likely that this universe's version of Hal Moore is a decedent of Benjamin Martin rather than that of any of the real Hal Moore's ancestors, since this Moore looks like Mel Gibson and talks and acts just like his character from The Patriot, because in the Gibson Cinematic Universe the real Hal Moore's ancestors (along with the Rescorlas) were never born which necessitates Martin's survival during the events of The Patriot for this version of Moore to exist.

Hi all - I am new here. I recently just had my second miscarriage in a 6 month span and went through repeat loss testing. My RE suspects endometriosis because of painful periods and low AMH for my age (I’m 32 and my AMH is ~1.0). My periods are regular but on the heavier side, usually lasting 5-7 days. Aside from the first day or two of my cycle, I don’t experience pain otherwise except maybe mild cramping during ovulation.
I saw two endometriosis specialists. The first one told me immediately upon inserting the vaginal ultrasound wand “yup, you have endometriosis” and told me they could get me in for surgery in the next week. This made me nervous because this diagnosis was all very new to me and the idea of laparoscopic surgery wasn’t even on my mind at this point. I wanted to get a second opinion so I went to another specialist who thinks it’s also plausible that I had endometriosis but because I’ve only had two miscarriages (“only” 🙄) they don’t think we should opt for surgery at this time and we should keep trying for pregnancy naturally.
My RE is supportive of us trying naturally again and possible trying baby aspirin and/or progesterone to help support a natural pregnancy, should we get pregnant again. Where I’m looking for advice is, has anyone here had multiple miscarriages due to confirmed or suspected endometriosis? And what ended up being your outcome? My RE also suggested we do the Receptiva biopsy of the endometrium to test for endometriosis markers. I am torn on whether I should do this because the confirmed endometriosis probably wouldn’t change our current plan of action. But I’d be open to doing the test to rule out any infection as well (“endometritis”).
Just looking for advice from anyone who may have been in a similar boat. Thank you!!

Just got new babies yesterday so of course they’re pretty scared and uncomfortable. They’re eating and drinking just not moving too much. I had an idea to play them videos of other parakeets playing and singing and they went absolutely crazy. They started eating and going in parts of the cage they were too scared to previously explore. Am I scaring them or making them more comfortable?

Hello all, I'm glad to see that this sub exists. As the topic states, I'm new to Reddit although I've been on it over a decade ago before having enough.
Let me just give you a little background. I was born and raised as a conservative Jewish man who disagreed far too often. Unlike many in religion, I've been an independent thinker since a very young age and realized that religion and the ultimate dichotomy of a "g_d", truly made no sense. You have the fact that different sects of the same religion actually excommunicate each other. Different sects of Catholicism that completely excommunicate Protestants for example, different sects of Judaism as well that excommunicate each other besides all other radicalized forms of the r word that happen to do the same.
So a random thought. If you were to walk into any nursery at a hospital, with brand new newborns, you will find a room filled with humans that have yet to be brainwashed. If they were able to speak and fully understand the history religion has sparked, do you think they would refuse organized brainwashing? Or do you think that they would ignore the brainwashing aspect and follow the leader; the leader in this case being the parent(s)?
My reasoning behind antitheism is not from studying theology and philosophy but rather based upon my position in life as a scientist that requires empirical data. I've still yet to be struck down with lightning so I must be on to something. 😉