So there’s this guy and his name is Antonio. He is really rich but all of his assets are invested into ships that have some valuable goods on them coming back from India. His friend Bassanio isn’t really good with money so he asks Antonio for some cheddar but Antonio doesn’t have any cash on him. So they go to this guy Shylock who can load them money with an interest fee. So they sign a bond but Shylock does something intersecting, he doesn’t request any interest just that if Antonio can’t pay the bond then Shylock get a pound of his flesh. So Antonio signs it and the bond is sealed. The money that they borrowed was in order for Bassanio to impress Portia who is the daughter of a crazy rich guy. He thinks he can suit her because he is a chad but he is kind of broke so he needs to get a cool yacht. They buy one and head over to her house and long story short they marry. Now unfortunately for Antonio in a crazy twist of fate non of his ships come back all presumably sinking so he can’t pay off the bond. At the same time during this entire saga one of Bassanio’s close friends flees with Shylocks daughter which Shylock did not sign up on. This means that he dislikes Antonio now because Antonio and Bassanio are associated because they went to get the loan together. Now remember how Shylock wanted a pound of flesh. Well that was supposed to be a joke but now it is starting to become more and more of a threat. Antonio tried to argue with Shylock but no can do he is set in his decision. Portia and Bassanio get word of these events and head back to Venice to try and help. All this goes to court and there is a whole legal proceeding. Portia decides to dress up like a guy and become a loyer for Antonio. After a bunch of smooth talking and Shylock almost killing Antonio like three times the judge rules in Antonio’s favour. Shylock has to give all of his assets away and then become a Christian he looses his red hat. End of the story #justiceforshylock

I go on multi-day bike trips often. They are commercial trips and I do them because I am solo, want a safety net and like having arrangements made for me(no camping for me and no room sharing). The next one up starts out of Montreal on June 2. 6 days with a short first dat - total of about 250 miles/ 40 daily avg. It's definitely doable.
The weather is finally cooperating so bye-bye BikeErg for the time being but thanks for the conditioning. The test part is using the next two weeks to figure out the fueling - it is definitely a balancing act. I moved to 7.5 from 2 months of 5 last Friday and definitely different. Pretty much no side effects but no appetite at all.
Athletic knowledgable son is adamant about getting the carbs* in& I think he's right. Skratch is my go to drink and it's still a go(test ride yesterday) and I'm looking at granola/nut bars,too. Love Barebells but melting issue. For this bike company, regular Gatorade is often provided and saved me on humid days(not much humidity where I live).
Long story but I also feel like forcing myself to eat may well be just creating a different issue. This is the first of 5 trips plus a one day charity ride. I will have to know what I need and it's an experiment.
*I was solidly on the protein track before Z because of....aging.

Long story short, was out of the Public world for a while and have come back and I’m looking to either be partner at a regional firm or buy my own firm (either remote or small physical local).
I really want to advance my skill set as much as possible this summer before I’m out on my own or to improve my image/candidacy for partner.
I’m very strong on controlleCFO work. I’m solid on sales/operations. I want more knowledge on the tax side. I’ve done lots of simple individual and business returns, but want to learn more nuanced things.
Anything related to things like basis, R&D, leases, tax/retirement planning, tax/book differences. Anything higher level I can leverage with clients. I do CPE stuff but I’m more interested in classes or videos I can follow along on YouTube or something similar, I’ve just had difficulty finding good quality resources. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

So long story short I’ve been a smoker for probably 15 years. I got some Durban poison from a wonderful place up on cape cod Massachusetts and damn. I had never had such a purely positive experience, it was the cleanest, best high I’ve ever had. No negatives for me, and the main thing is that it gave me real focus. As an adhd guy, it just absolutely silences all that noise in your head, and it’s also amazing for socializing. If I could slam my hand down on the “only smoke Durban for the rest of my life button”, I’d do it in an instant.
Started researching and found it was the terpinolene that makes that strain stand out so I started lookin for it and yeah, it’s hard as fuck to find. Wanted to say that this sub at least let me Know I wasn’t crazy, it is a special terp with a very particular effect. Doing my best to learn the stains that can have it dominantly.
I find often that, when I find a strain that’s known for terp, I’ll read the label on the particular product and often it’s nowhere to be found, it’s all myrcene etc. that normal? I feel like some of the time it’s all BS lol
If anyone has good tips on understanding how best to know if you can expect to feel the terp sensation….I’d love to hear it.

We seem to have bad luck with family doctors. My family seems to have some hard to diagnose issues that are also not very well known. For example I have hypotonia and had EDS but was u diagnosed. Among other health issues.
The last family doctor we had didn’t even know how to write a doctors note, which is supposed to be the doctor writing briefly why you can’t work or whatever and signing it, she just wrote “dr. Note” on a piece of paper and gave it to my mom😭
This family doctor we have seems to not want to help my mom at all and will apparently confidently give misinformation to me and I guess doesn’t believe mental illness is a real thing. Plus he works like 2 days a week half days.
Long story short I had a pain in my collar bone, it was pretty minor and inconsistent so I didn’t think much of it, a week later it was still bugging be so I booked an appointment with my family doctor and he booked an appointment over the phone for a week later. We had the appointment the next week and he told me to go get an x ray, did that that day and turns out I had a hole in my lung. He called and said I should go to the er, did that and they said I should wait a week and get an appointment with the surgeon in a week to see if it heals on its own, and my family doctor booked an appointment in the middle of the week somewhere to do a physical exam. Went to my family doctor and he didn’t do any exam, and when I asked if the pain in my collar bone was caused by the hole in my lung he said no it had nothing to do with that and said I could go. When I asked the surgeon the same question he said yes the pain in my collar bone had everything to do with the hole as that’s exactly where the hole in my lung was.
He’s straight up told my mom that the issue she’s complaining about no one will try and fix and has stopped trying to help her with it. One simple google search says it can be fixed with surgery. But he said no one will do that for her.
But we can’t get a new family doctor because no one at all is taking new patients. It’s so annoying.

So I had my sisters car (she lost her keys house in country) told me if i fons the keys let her know..Long story short me n my friend(the driver) get pulled over by what we were told for investigation of trespassing then it turned in to a legal search of the car since I told him no it was not my car they could not search it and they would I give them my sister's name and number they never called her they continue to search anyways and then it turned into long story short I got arrested the driver got arrested we got arrested for petite theft trespassing 459 and he got charged with possession which they didn't even find anything on him they said that what they were looking for my car they did not find which we told them they wouldn't we the only thing we're guilty of is like I said we were not from the area and the people that we picked up told us to go down that that road everyone went down it well stupid ass listened and we went down it so that was only thing just passing the only thing they were guilty of and we both admitted to that never once were we ever checked for being under the influence we were never tested there's so many things that went wrong that day long story short the car was not only illegally searched never once did they ever tell my sister that her car had been towed she still to this day has not even been told I received anything when I asked to tell company why I was told the reason that the police put was for DUI but I was never arrested and we were the driver were never arrested for none of that is that legal please help tell me what direction do I go in or what do I do I understand I was arrested but it took a toll on my sister and myself seeing being that I do use the car when I go to work and as does she on the and the cops for the 30-day hold for the DUI that they said was reason for the toe also let me see on the 31st day they sold my car my sister's car our car this may not make any sense I'm a little worked up every time I talk about it it's still fresh please help anybody

Well here we are, FG, our first decades tournament, the 2010’s. Thank you to everyone who nominated movies, and let’s get right into it!
Results of Round 1

• Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse (2018) (9) beat 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) (8) and Sorry to Bother You (2018) (6)
• Snowpiercer (2013) (11) beat 12 Years a Slave (2013) (7), and Spotlight (2015) (6)
• Skyfall (2012) (9) beat 127 Hours (2010) (8) and Spring Breakers (2012) (7)
• First Reformed (2017) (10) beat Skate Kitchen (2018) (3), and Steve Jobs (2015) (3)
• 1917 (2019) (9) beat Sing Street (2016) (6), and Stoker (2013) (6)
• Silence (2016) (14) beat 20th Century Women (2016) (4) and Stray Dogs (2013) (3)
• Sicario (2015) (17) beat Sunset (2017) (3) and 50/50 (2011) (3)
• Shutter Island (2010) (11) beat A Field in England (2013) (5), and Tabu (2012) (2)
• A Ghost Story (2017) (13) beat Short Term 12 (2013) (6), and Tehran Taboo (2017) (1)
• A Separation (2011) (7) tied with Shoplifters (2018) (7), and beat The Act of Killing (2012) (3)
• The American (2010) (8) beat A Silent Voice (2016) (2), and Shin Godzilla (2016) (2)
• The Assassin (2015) (11) beat Shame (2011) (7), and A Star is Born (2018) (5)
• Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010) (11) beat Ad Astra (2019) (6), and The Avengers (2012) (4)
• The Babadook (2014) (10) beat All is Lost (2013) (7) and Rubber (2010) (4)
• Annihilation (2018) (15) beat Room (2015) (5), and The Babysitter (2017) (2)
• Roma (2018) (12) beat April and the Extraordinary World (2015) (4), and The Conjuring (2013) (3)
• The Big Short (2015) (7) beat Aquarius (2016) (5), and Right Now, Wrong Then (2015) (0)
• Arrival (2016) (16) beat Raw (2016) (3), and The Big Sick (2017) (1)
• Atomic Blonde (2017) (6) beat Rango (2011) (5) and The Captain (2017) (3)
  
• The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018) (8) beat Post Tenebras Lux (2012) (3), and Bait (2019) (1)
  
• Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) (10) beat Barbara (2012) (1), and The Counselor (2013) (1)
  
• The Death of Stalin (2017) (8) beat Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016) (6), and Beasts of No Nation (2015) (3)
  
• Birdman (2014) (7) tied Phoenix (2014) (7) and beat The Double (2013) (2)
  
• Black Swan (2010) (11) beat Phantom Thread (2017) (8), and The Drop (2014) (3)
  
• Blade Runner 2049 (2017) (11) beat The Florida Project (2017) (9), and The House That Jack Built (2018) (2)
  
• The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (15) beat Blindspotting (2018) (2), and Paddington 2 (2017) (1)
  
• Blue is the Warmest Color (2013) (7) beat Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) (6), and The Great Beauty (2013) (2)
  
• The Handmaiden (2016) (11) beat Bone Tomahawk (2015) (7), and Only God Forgives (2013) (4)
  
• Once Upon a Time....In Hollywood (2019) (15) beat The Hateful Eight (2015) (8), and Bridge of Spies (2015) (4)
  
• Boyhood (2014) (7) beat Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (2011) (5), and The Hollars (2016) (2)
  
• O.J. Made in America (2016) (10) beat Parasite (2019) (9), and Brooklyn (2015) (5)
  
• Nightcrawler (2014) (12) beat Burning (2018) (7), and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) (1)
  
• Nebraska (2013) (7) beat The Hunt (2012) (4), and Byzantium (2012) (4)
  
• Mysteries of Lisbon (2010) (4) beat Carlos (2010) (3), and The Imposter (2012) (2)
  
• Carol (2015) (12) beat The Irishman (2019) (6), and mother! (2017) (3)
  
• The Lighthouse (2019) (9) beat Moonrise Kingdom (2012) (8), and Cemetery of Splendour (2015) (4)
  
• Moonlight (2016) (9) beat The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017) (5), and Chappie (2015) (3)
  
• Molly’s Game (2017) (8) beat Coherence (2013) (7), and Cloud Atlas (2012) (4)
  
• The Master (2012) (11) beat Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018) (6), and The Martian (2015) (5)
  
• Cold War (2018) (5) ties Meek's Cutoff (2010) (5), and beats The Missing Picture (2013) (2)
  
• The Nice Guys (2016) (14) beat Contagion (2011) (5), and Mary Poppins Returns (2018) (2)
  
• Margaret (2011) (9) beat The Place Beyond the Pines (2012) (6), and Creed (2015) (2)
  
• Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) (8) tied with The Raid 2 (2014) (8), and beat Maps to the Stars (2014) (3)
  
• Drive (2011) (17) beat The Revenant (2015) (6), and Mandy (2018) (4)
  
• Django Unchained (2012) (11) beat The Salesman (2016) (3) and Made in Dagenham (2010) (2)
  
• Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) (9) beat Train to Busan (2016) (5), and Diamantino (2018) (1)
  
• Eighth Grade (2018) (5) beat Elle (2016) (4), and Long Way North (2015) (2)
  
• The Turin Horse (2011) (10) beat Logan (2017) (9), and El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019) (0)
  
• The Way Back (2010) (8) beat Locke (2013) (5), and The Tree of Life (2011) (4)
  
• Embrace of the Serpent (2015) (10) beat Little Women (2019) (6), and The Whispering Star (2015) (2)
  
• Enemy (2013) (6) tied with The Wind Rises (2013) (6) and beat Like Someone in Love (2012) (3)
  
• Life of Pi (2012) (9) beat The Witch (2015) (8), and Evangelion 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo (2012) (1)
  
• The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) (7) beat Leave No Trace (2018) (6) and Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010) (3)
  
• Ex Machina (2014) (9) beat Thoroughbreds (2017) (4), and Le Havre (2011) (3)
  
• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) (13) beat Ladybird (2017) (9), and Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019)
  

View Poll

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

I’ve always been really into ghost stories, or urban legends in general. The White Lady, haunted dolls, vampires, black eyed children, that kind of stuff. I know that, today, people my age aren’t big fans of that kind of horror anymore, preferring it things like the Backrooms, analog horror, all the new kinds of scary media. Honestly, I get it, things do need to evolve, and when we see everything that’s happening in the world, it’s understandable that a good old ghost story don’t do the job anymore.

Still, the “old fashioned” horror (it’s not that old, but things move fast on the internet) is always my jam. I grew up watching youtubers investigating haunted places, ghost hunting, with all their accessories, EMF meters, their little radio thing that they use to listen to radio frequencies so that they can hear any interference, their antenna that beeps when something approaches it, voice recorders, special flashlights, and let me tell you that all this, it was doing it for me.

So, since my, probably 7 years, I dreamt of doing these things myself. Of course, I tried everything a young boy is able to do, like Ouija or stupidly walking around my house with my phone filming, hoping that some random deceased person with unfinished business will show up to, I don’t know, have a chat. I wish I could say that other people’s judgement doesn’t affect me, but that would be a lie, so, going in to high school, I had to socially tone down my interest for those things in order to have friends. None of my friends and classmates knew about my persisting passion for ghosts and creepy stories.

I realize that keeping this such a secret is a bit ridiculous, especially approaching my 18^th birthday, but, you know, it would be even weirder to reveal it after hiding it for almost 6 years like it was something super taboo. So here I was, I started hiding my passion at 12 to avoid other’s judging it, and I’m now still hiding it at 17 to avoid others judging the fact that I hid it… A bit pathetic I got to admit.

Anyway, everything started a few days ago. I have an art history class at school and the teacher really likes to give us big works of research. This time, he had a new idea, the whole class will be divided into groups of two, and each group will receive a building from our city that the teacher had choose for his architectural and artistic interests, and we’ll have to give it a visit and write an analysis on the different things we’ll notice and link it to what we saw in class. Since all the buildings were not public places, he had asked the authorization of every property’s owner.

Honestly, this could have been worse. This actually sounded kinda cool to do. Now, what I was concerned about was who will be my partner. Obviously, I was hoping for one of my friends. After explaining the rules and exact instructions for the work, he started to announce the groups. I was waiting to hear my name, anxious, as all my friends were slowly starting to be put into their groups.

“Joshua!” The teacher said (yeah that’s my name). “You will be with…” I was holding on to my chair. “… Elizabeth!”

I turned to Elizabeth, and we looked at each other. Neither one of us seemed excited. It wasn’t a terrible pair, I thought to myself, I just didn’t know what to think of it exactly. Elizabeth was a pretty popular girl, not that I was an outcast or anything, but she was still way more popular than me. I didn’t know much more about her, despite the fact that we were in the same class since my first year of high school, but it looked like she was going to be an okay partner.

The teacher then gave us our building. I won’t reveal the real name of what he gave us so I’ll call it “Guaraldi’s Street 22”. Apparently, it was a pretty old house that had somewhat of an historic value to it. The teacher gave us some information so we wouldn’t stumble there without any prior knowledge. The owner was an old woman who had always lived there. She was apparently very glad to open her doors to young students and was ready to answer any questions we could have. He warned us that she had a weak audition and that we would have to speak loudly. The teacher then recommended us to do a little bit of research before going there, so we could already have some idea of where we were entering.

I then found myself in front of Elizabeth. I think the last time we even talked to each other was months ago when she was distributing a test to the class and that I said “Thanks”, so, yeah, not a lot of background. I noticed, and I don’t know why it took me so long, I guess I never paid much attention to her, that she was dressed in kind of an old style, she wore some clearly used dungarees. The date the teacher had scheduled for our visit was on Sunday, and we were Thursday.

“So, hum, I guess, we can both do research on our side, and we’ll meet, maybe at lunch break tomorrow to get on the same page. Is that good for you?” She asked me.

“Yeah, that’s good, we can do that.”

“Okay, then, see you tomorrow.” She said.

“See you.”

On that she turned her feet and left for her break. The rest of the day went by and I got back home. As usual, my mom wasn’t there, she often has to work late as she’s a single mom to me and my little sister Rosa. I ate my diner and went to my room. I opened my computer to start my research. It wasn’t hard to find information, even though things were repeating themselves a lot: “so much historical meaning for the city”, “a perfect example of “art-deco” architecture”, “a house filled with stories”. There was a lot of talk by local medias about it, but not much actual facts.

It was so weak, that I had to go to page 2 of the search results on google, or, as I like to call them, “the abyss of the internet” (I’m exaggerating a bit, but it’s not often that you have to go there).
Then, something caught my eyes. It was a forum about paranormal experiences, and the address was mentioned on a post. I immediately clicked on it and read the whole thing. It wasn’t exactly the most thrilling story I’ve read, but here’s what it basically said.

Apparently, the owner opened the house as a cottage during the summer, and the person posting was narrating what he experienced during his passage there. He described a very special and kinda suffocating vibe that was apparently all around the house, and the feeling of being observed all the time. He also talked about hearing voices at random moments. They were brief but often mentioned his name. The end of his testimony talked about his last night, when he said he saw a little child with no facial expression in front of his bed, who slowly started to climb into it and grabbed his legs, trying to pull him outside of his bed. The poster said he eventually succeeded to push the kid away, despite his unreal strength, and that the boy ended up running out of the room, laughing. When he spoke to the owner about it the next morning, she said that it must have been his imagination playing tricks on him, as she didn’t believe in paranormal and that nothing similar ever happened to her.

This wasn’t much, it could have been a complete lie, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t peak my curiosity. The story was as basic as it could be, but it was so specific for it to happen in that place, which was absolutely not famous, and even less for any paranormal events. I kept that in the back of my mind and continued my research, but I didn’t find much more, so I went to sleep.

As I was lying in my bed, I was thinking. What if the person who posted his story said the truth. This was the first time I was going to enter somewhere that old and charged with history, this could be the perfect place for my first ghost-hunt. But of course, I was going for school and won’t be alone, plus, it’s not really respectful to the owner, who kindly opened the doors of her family house to us. And even if I wanted to, I’d be constantly with Elizabeth, so, it was not really an option. I looked at the EMF meter I received for a birthday on my shelf and thought to myself that this would be for another time.

The next day, as planned, I met with Elizabeth at lunch break. We started to share the results of our research, where I did not include the post from the forum for obvious reasons. We talked a bit before coming to a clear conclusion.

“Yeah, the thing is, we have the same exact stuff, there isn’t much interesting infos to be found online, except very surface level stuff.” She said.

“Yes, I think we should prepare the questions we want to ask the owner instead.” I answered.

“You’re right, do you think you can have yours for Sunday?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

We exchanged a bit more and eventually went back to class.

On Saturday, I prepared a few questions to ask the owner.

Then came today, Sunday. The meeting was planned at 11AM. I woke up normally, took a breakfast, got dressed, everything. Before leaving my room, I took one last look at the room and I saw my EMF meter. It was like he was begging me to take him. I grabbed it and left. I didn’t know if I would actually use it, but I had it. It had an option where instead of lighting the small lamps he was vibrating, so I activated that and put it in my pocket.

I arrived at the house and Elizabeth was already waiting for me. We knocked and we could hear the owner walking towards the door saying “Yes, yes, just a second.” She opened and she looked like the sweetest thing ever. She was short and had a naturally kind face. We could see that she was clearly dressed and make up for the occasion. She welcomed us and let us in happily. The hallway was very pretty, I understood why our teacher got us this house, it was indeed very interesting. The walls were covered with paintings and old pictures, mostly portraits. On everyone of these, the people had a very serious look, but that’s not unusual for old pictures.

We walked to the living room where she served us tea and we sat together.

“So, I think you have some questions for me?” She asked. You could see that she was very glad to talk. “Don’t be shy, I’m open.”

Elizabeth started to ask her first question then I did, and we could ask her everything.

The house was her family’s for many generations, but it hadn’t always been theirs. All the persons in the hallway, paintings or pictures, were previous habitants of the house, and they went as far as the 15th century, so, yeah, it was all pretty old. She said they could only know the identity of some of the first generations but that a lot of the people were non identified. She answered a lot of other questions regarding the architectural and artistic heritage of the building, and she was surprisingly very interesting to listen to. Her enthusiasm and kindness were contagious, and we both couldn’t help but ask more questions.

Eventually, we arrived to the end of our list, and it was time for us to visit, take notes, analyze, all that. She asked us not to touch anything, as a lot of things had a lot of value, but let us wander free in the house. She said she’ll be making cookies for when we’ll be done. Elizabeth and I found ourselves alone in the living room and finished our tea.

“God,… She’s adorable.” Said Elizabeth with a smile.

“Yes, she’s so sweet, I wasn’t expecting that.” I said.

“Let’s, maybe start with there.” She said, pointing to the room besides us.

We got up and entered it. The walls were covered by huge bookshelves. Elizabeth started to take notes, looking at the room, and I started inspecting the books. There was probably a more than a thousand books, and some of them looked super old. I read the titles of some of them, and the least I could say was that it needed to be rearranged. “Cooking Asian Food”, “Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince”, some old book with the title erased, and even a CD in the middle, it was a bit random.

We eventually moved on to the hallway. It was a bit oppressing with all those eyes who seemed to observe us. Elizabeth did mention how it felt a bit weird and we started to take notes again. At some point, my look stopped on one painting at the back of the hall. It was a young lady, dressed classically, maybe a bit poorly even, for someone who would have lived there. She was kinda pretty, if I’m being honest. But the reason why it caught my eyes was that it was the only one who was smiling. All the other people represented looked dead serious, but her, she smiled. A sweet, even caring and warm smile. I noticed that it seemed like she was staring at me. Of course, a lot of paintings give that same impression, but it was more intense on her.

My heart skipped a beat. I was sure that I just saw her winked to me. I let out a gasp. I was convinced she winked at me. The vibe went from slightly oppressive to extremely heavy. Then we both heard it.

“Elizabeth.”

An unrecognizable voice had just whispered. Elizabeth turned to me.

“Did you say that?” She asked.

“Elizabeth.”

A younger voice this time. We were facing each other, so we knew it couldn’t be one of us this time, and the owner was in the kitchen. Elizabeth’s eyes opened wide and she slowly walked towards me.

“Elizabeth.”

She jumped.

“WHAT THE… fuck?” I let out. We were looking around us.

“Joshua, I don’t like this…”

“Yeah, me neither.”

We were frozen in place, with all the paintings looking right to us.

“Elizabeth.”

That time it was a deep voice, and it came from behind us. We turned. Slowly, all the faces of the paintings and pictures started to clearly move. They were opening their eyes wide and opening their mouths, maintaining their serious, and now even melancholic look.

“Holy shit, holy shit, what the fuck is that, what is it!” Elizabeth was mumbling, panicking as I was starting to breathe faster.

All the people started to say her name together on repeat: “Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth…” I turned my head to the painting of the young lady from earlier, and she was the only one that wasn’t moving, still the same smile, she looked at peace.

I don’t remember exactly what I was whispering at that moment, but we were both freaking out.

We heard some scratching noise. Long, dirty hands with sharp nails, almost inhumans, were piercing the pictures and paintings. The eyes of the people were becoming all black, and their jaws were opening more than humanly possible as they kept on repeating her name. The hands were all getting closer from us. We were now touching one another, completely surrounded by those hands. Then, they moved way faster and a lot of them got their nails right into Elizabeth’s skin and pierced it while descending all over her body.

She screamed loudly out of pain. It was a terrifying scream. All the hands got to their pictures and back inside of it while closing what they pierced. Soon, the pictures and paintings were back to normal, but Elizabeth was bleeding from all over her body and was on the floor, crying. I got to her level and tried as much as possible to reassure her, but I wasn’t very effective as I was myself in shock and terrified.
We heard the owner walk towards us.

“What’s happening to you two? I heard screams, are you okay?”

She entered the hallway and saw the scene. She looked completely shocked.

“But what happened?” She asked.

Both of us were unable to answer to her, we had no idea what to say that wouldn’t make us sound crazy, so we just looked at her with whatever faces we were making at that moment. She didn’t wait long and went to take a first aid kid. She sat down and put some bandages all over Elizabeth, as I was reflecting on what happened. When she was done, we both wanted to leave, so we said that we had what we needed for now. She looked sorry and packed some cookies for each of us. As we opened the door to leave, she articulated one last phrase.

“I hope you’ll come back.” She had a look and a tone of sadness. We got out and were now on the street.

We both looked at each other. She was covered in bands, like she got into a huge fight. I started to speak but she lifted her hand.

“Not today. Another one.” She said. “I’ll see you at school.” And she left.

I got on my way too and gave one last look to the house. The old owner was watching me from her window, and I couldn’t tell what her expression was.

I was too tired so I ignored it and went back to my house.

I’m posting this now that I’m back at home. I have no news of Elizabeth, but she did add me on Instagram, so…

I have no idea what I should do now, I have so many questions, so, if anyone has any theories, I’ll take it. I’m also open to questions of course…

Long story short, I'm getting back to my old career as a merchant Mariner. They fly me out to the boat when it's my time to work, so I don't need to be close to anything except maybe an airport(within an hour or two drive)
I haven't been to Arkansas yet, but it's been on my list of places to consider moving from Florida to once I have my career and finances steady again. I love the idea of being near great places to camp and kayak and, most importantly, would like to eventually buy a nice piece of property with some reasonable privacy. I like Florida and the beaches, but it's just gotten too pricey to justify staying here, even with the good money I make from working on tugboats. Given I'm originally from NC, I don't mind giving up beaches for the woods, mountains and streams lol
Bonus points if it's not too far from little rock. I still wanna occasionally go there and check out the breweries and local scene, but that's a treat, not a priority

Brother me and my girlfriend started dating in 2015 both 15 , we moved in together at 21- as of now basically almost 24* (im 23 shes 24 , a couple months older) , she had her own dark world and toxic household and so did i. Difference is i had a complete “family” , she was raised by her mother who treated her indifferent because she is her dads twin. She gave the most purest and sweetest love . It even gives me chills to write about it. She surprised me countless times , validated my feelings , took care of me more than own mother did bro. She put her ass on the line for me whenever and vice versa. We traveled to her country mu country and countless other places at a young age all alone . Im gonna be honest i cheated by grabbing another girls ass in 2018 and a year later in 2019 the girl from hs called her to tell her and she waited for me in my house but i was such a coward i kept denying and denying even though she knew exactly what had went on. Fast forward in 2021 shit got so rough my family always hated her for no reason (jealousy is a real thing bro) and so much happened. And imma be honest in 2022 i was taking care of her since we moved in together but 2022 i told her quit her job around early January February i told her i got us cause i found a job paying great so why not? That was my baby you know? So that year i went to a whorehouse with this dumbass loser i was working with and i fell for the temptation. Mind you this was a bad year for her she gained weight up to 260 and her family (mom and sister) they always treated her like shit and always was jealous of even me getting her stuff and just loving her and supporting her. Im not gonna lie yes i cheated and she found out about it the same day cause i fell asleep and went through my phone. My dumbass recorded a voice note that those whores can’t even give oral correctly they use all teeth , so when she found out that was a dealbreaker. Bro i destroyed her with that and i know i fucked up so bad this chick had a hot meal from scratch ready for me every single day after work. Anyways fast forward to 2023, she told me when i get a job i got you and everything you ever did. She got the gastric sleeve surgery in September 2022 so 2023 in February she had started losing weight drastically and then eventually got a job the same month. Brother she was destroyed and still gave me food everyday still helped me still gave me sex just still was trying not giving up. I unfortunately didn’t see it this way due to my own internal problems and trauma and my selfish and stupid ways. Anyways even for my bday she took me to miami wasted $3k on the trip and it was amazing. Eventually it got toxic i got fired around October and i wasn’t really fully employed after that for a while so she had to pick up alot and my egocentric ass said hey i did it for you whats the problem a couple months you hold me down? (She should of been left me) but it got toxic and the stress from work her family me and me not working she was crashing out she would spazz on everyone and i dont blame her looking back she was just going though alot. We started cursing eachother out really bad and even got physical. Not fists punch or slaps just grabbing eachother , breaking stuff, throwing stuff out, breaking property. Anyways for her birthday we went to paris (February 2024) and it was great till we argued (i really shouldn’t have gone cause i got a job in February the whole month and first month on the job i requested a week off already and i lied saying it was something else but it was really this trip i had) anyways after this trip she someway somehow forced me to quit my job because i was out from 6am-7pm everyday monday through Friday. March came and dont get me wrong guys my family i am blessed enough that they were sending me little amounts of money here and there to get me through they know i needed to pay rent food etc. march came and someway somehow when she said something to me she slammed the door and walked out so i immediately reacted and then slammed the door open to chase her . I come back the whole door is ripped off the frame . All the hinges ripped off. I ran away like a coward because she kept screaming at me and cursing me out saying you gotta replace it now but i didnt have 1$ to my name and im asking my mom and she is being a bitch on purpose. Long story short that was march 23rd i get arrested 4 days later because of property of destruction and then get out on limited order of protection. We ran into eachother a couple days later and we spoke she invited me over and i lived with her again the whole month of April. Anyways in april im still just relying on my parents at this point because all these jobs im applying for are not in my favor to respond to me (no one hit me back up) . So towards the end of the month literally the Sunday before the 1st of May we get into another heated argument she said you dont do shit around here you a grown ass man this that and that and tbh bro i can show you my cashapp my mother send me like $1500 that month and every time she would send me $100 here or $300 there for food or something she would tell me waste it on weed. (We kinda of had a weed addiction we were wasting $40 a day 7days a week on weed, you do the math) so anyways most of the money my mom is sending me is being spent very inconsiderately and bad . I didnt think much of it cause i thought hey fuck it man im here whatever she wants to make her happy. Anyways fast forward after the argument sunday before may 1st the weekend before may 1st i leave again because it got so crazy i wasn’t trying to spazz out so i walked out and left. Monday she tells me come back ik your mom isnt cooking im not heartless i still wanna be friends with benefits or friends . Whatever she said and also she said i built this bond with you no one knows me like you do. (We lost our virginity to eachother , we literally told eachother our deepest darkest secrets , met eachothers families, did all this together was very intimate) so i went back and as she said we ate we cuddled etc. the next day after work we go out the whole day because her and mom and sister arent on good terms i forgot to mention we lived in a basement and her mother on the 1st floor. The whole month of april they were on bad terms (just walking by eachother not even talking or acknowledging eachother) so we go out the next day after that Tuesday before May 1st. After work we do all that and come back home at 6/7 ish . I havent checked her phone in ages cause i fucked up alot and honestly i kind of had a feeling if i did i was gonna see exactly what i was looking for. Anyways i still did it cause im a stubborn hardheaded motherfucker, and ofc i saw her texting sexual with some guy she told me she was talking as friends on and off for since November. The convo went like him: im dying to find out i just wanna carry you on top of me , her: omg i forget you’re so tall i love it , him: omg i forget you’re so short i love it, her: Stoppppp omg with the emojis, him: plus if you aren’t gonna wear that dress when we go out atleast where it when you invite me over :p , her: lol i guess im small ( she posted a picture in a shirt blouse showing her curves and body and curly hair) , bro i saw this and went back inside from checking her phone in the middle of the road and said is this what you’re doing to me ? Are you serious? She laughed in my face and said well you’re reading it aren’t you? I lost it and spit in her face and called her a nasty you know what just like her sister. How shes just like her sister (her sister fucks any guy to fill her void and to get money/gifts in exchange. (Going back as to why they weren’t on good terms in april her and her sister got into a physical fight because her sister wore her deadstock jordans i got her from 2018 that are now worth $700 and fried them . What blew my mind during the fight was her sister looked and me straight in the eyes that day and said i know alot about you as if she got something on me. That made me wonder alot. Also she called my ex gf a slut which made me think what the fuck) anyways fast forward after i catch her cheating on me she chases me in her underwear for 12 blocks and im toying running around cars with her at that point and i threw her phone on the ground and she ran right past it. Long story short i got arrested and now im facing a felony cause of that and its no contact as of rn till July when this court date happens. I miss the fuck out of her and regardless of anything i wish her the best and miss her dearly . Side note my brother showed me she was what appeared on a date Yesterday

I receive a bonus yearly based on specific measures, one of which being Press Ganey related. I work for a large healthcare organization. Long story short, scores were calculated incorrectly leading to me and many of my colleagues being shorted part of the bonus. In my case, I am still owed about 5k. This error came to light over 6 weeks ago.
I have reached out to my managedirector, NP director, and several admin in charge of compensation regarding this. Reaching out meaning literally BEGGING for some type of update every 2 weeks. Last update was basically told “yes they are incorrect, will be recalculated” with no further info or timeframe given. My director has subsequently directly chastised me for being impatient. I’m so frustrated as I feel like if I have not taken the initiative to send my own emails asking for updates, nothing would get done. No one has been forthcoming with updates.
Is it normal for something like this to take this long to get a resolution? I’m not a newbie, I know the gears turn extra slow in large companies but geeeez.

From our executive editor of news, Brian Barrett on ChatGPT's update:
To be honest, it felt like AI from one movie in particular: Her, the 2013 Spike Jonze sci-fi film that correctly foresaw a future in which AI relationships could handily substitute for human connection—well, it felt like and sounded like. In the demo, ChatGPT's voice is remarkably similar to that of Her star Scarlett Johansson. In case there was any doubt as to the reference point, Altman tweeted “her”—just the one word—shortly after the event.
Her is a terrific movie. Its view of AI is surprisingly nuanced, and its depiction of the techno-human relationship at its core leans more utopian than knee-jerk skeptical. Still, a plea to anyone trying to manifest Jonze’s world—or that of any sci-fi touchstone, for that matter—in this one: Watch it just one more time. All the way through. Just to make sure we’re all on the same page about what future we’re careening toward.
Read the full op-ed here. What do you think? https://www.wired.com/story/openai-gpt-4o-chatgpt-artificial-intelligence-her-movie/

I want to write. I want to write random things in a low stakes environment so I'm creating this. Feel free to share your thoughts, random musing, short stories, poems yada yada yada.
Important things to note -

• Also, I want this to be an open-minded, comfortable, positive environment. I will delete any negative comments and block you for repeated offences. Comment on posts to say positive things, but only provide criticism if OP asks for this in their post.
• Just to emphasize this point, when posting, please specifically ask for critic from readers. You can do this as part of the title, or bold it in your post or however else you would like to.
• NO NSFW video or GIF content! Writing stuff can be NSFW (ONLY ALLOWED WITH TAG)

Will add more to this as we go along

I (21f) am extremely lonely. I grew up in the same neighborhood, with the same group of childhood friends that were my lifeline. I grew up in a difficult house so my friends were my second family. Long story short, in high school, they all went behind my back and iced me out because I didn’t share the same beliefs on certain things and therefore, the ring leader of that friend group decided it was time to drop me.
Anyways, since then I have leaned on my sister (24f) and my parents, and my boyfriend (26m). They’re older and have their own adult jobs and I’m just living in their shadow. My sister lets me hang out with her friends, my boyfriend the same, but they’re not my friends and I feel like a loser. I started to just stay inside every day, use weed, and my chihuahua is now my only social interaction aside from my sister and bf and strangers in the grocery store. I am so grateful because I know that’s still more support than others have, but it’s not the same as having a close independent friend. I also feel like I am trapped in their life, I feel I have no identity other than their side character.
I was going to move to Colorado for a few months to do a service trip, but my anxiety + my bf telling me that long distance doesn’t work discouraged me and I stayed here. I want to travel so bad and live before I get married and settle down, but I would have to go alone because I have no friends. Part of me has considered so many times being an au-pair and traveling but for some reason my anxiety just makes it seem unreasonable.
I have found myself prioritizing my faith more because it has helped me a lot with mental health. I am trying to break bad habits of smoking to numb the pain, eating junk to surpress my feelings, drinking wine to make me feel like I’m having fun alone. I am in a stand still and I’m stuck.
But it’s so sad. I am so young, I had so many dreams for myself at this age. When I was a child I would pray for this time to come and now that I am here it is just dull and lonely. I am finishing college online, I should’ve graduated by now but I took a year off because I wanted to work and figure out what I want to study. Still don’t know so I am just majoring in interdisciplinary studies.
If anyone can offer advice, if you have been in this place too, I would so appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to read this :)

About a year ago, I [29 M] was in a toxic relationship with J [29 M]. While there were no serious stakes in it (no kids or messy finances), the relationship and breakup ended up emotionally affecting me in a way I had never really thought possible. I feel guilty because after the relationship I tried to be friends with my ex still, which I now see as a mistake in the context of this relationship, and then after a few months, he blocked me because I didn't respect a boundary he had set about not sending him long messages. He said he didn't feel safe since I "completely ignored" the boundary.
I was devastated, but over the course of the next few months, came to understand a great deal of ways that I feel that I had been abused during the relationship. I felt angrier and angrier, and even though I was seeing a therapist, it eventually boiled over. My ex had blocked me on discord and probably on text, but I went onto an astrology app called Co-Star that he had had me download, and sent a message using it that said something like, "You were an abusive partner, but you can make it right with an apology."
Now, I have no idea if he actually saw the message. It was sent with a weird feature of the app called Chaos Mode that apparently chooses to send the message at some future time, so who knows if it actually ever sent. I don't know if he still has the app, if he unfriended me, or whatnot. But I feel guilty because I enacted exactly the caricature of me that he had created--I hadn't respected his boundaries, and I sent the message anyways.
At the same time, I am still feeling very victimized by the relationship. To give you a sense of the kinds of things that were going on in the relationship, here's a few examples that I currently find a little horrific [Note: this kind of turned into a summary of the relationship after I wrote it]. I'm aware that to heal I should probably not be ruminating about these things, especially if they lead me to boil over and message him, but here you go.
The first time I had sex with him, he slammed the door on me for not being able to finish and said "finish yourself." When I came to bed, I told him I felt shame. He said "good." The next time we had sex, he set a timer for me and said I had to finish within 5 minutes. These were the first times I ever had sex. He was manipulative in bed, telling me he didn't want to perform certain acts because I didn't give him enough praise for them, so that I started exaggerating my pleasure; he blamed me for why certain positions weren't working and was frustrated with how my body worked. On top of this, he admitted at the end of the relationship to having had sex with me around five times after he decided to break up with me (before he did), which just makes me feel a bit icky.
He would put me down in pretty transparently cruel ways. One example was when I exerted myself, he said I sounded like a muppet and that he "didn't want to be dating a muppet." When I offered him a blanket but apologized that it might not have been washed in a while, he called me a baby. He would insult my ability to give complements, asking me to tell him what color his eyes are but then rejecting everything that I gave him, telling me I was bad at complements repeatedly (and saying that it wasn't fair of him because his other exes were artists, so no wonder I was bad). Now, there were times that he was complementary to me--he told me I was hot, good at singing, good at writing, smart--but also times where he would put me down for things I was less good at, like cooking.
He constantly made me feel insecure about my gender. (For context, we are both men, but he was raised as a woman). So he would make pretty sweeping feminist critiques over fairly mundane things, like if I complained when I was sick he would go off about how men are always babies when they are sick and women don't get attention. When I confronted him about some of the things he was saying, telling him that while I wanted him to express these kinds of social problems so that I could be aware and adapt, I was feeling insecure in the relationship--he flipped it around and told me that if I didn't feel loved, he could say "I love you" less, and that I hadn't been grateful enough for when he came to visit me. (I had written him poetry, deep cleaned my apartment, taken time off work, sent my roommate off for the week, bought him a bus pass, planned his visit, met him in the airport despite not having a car, and just an insane amount of work to be turned into, "you weren't grateful enough").
Other than namecalling, he was just plain controlling. The reason that the boundary around me not sending long messages exists is that when I felt insecure--which I think makes sense given the ways he would talk to me--I would often send him a few paragraphs apologizing and explaining how I was growing. Even though long messages were the first thing he said he loved about me, and that he said our communication was like magic, he eventually set up what he called an "Essay embargo" and told me not to write them. The first time he set the "embargo", he had said it was only until we met in person because he didn't want me to write anything that would make him nervous. After we met in person, I assumed the embargo had lifted. Yet shortly after, he set it again, giving a few explanations--the main one just being that he wanted to appreciate our relationship without overthinking it. It seemed playful. He definitely did also say that long messages made him uncomfortable because he felt obligated to send a response. So, when I did send messages, I would add that he didn't have to respond (which I realize is not fully respecting the boundary). I did ask after sending messages whether they were ok and he never responded to those questions.
Despite this, there were times during the relationship that I continued to send long, often apologetic messages. I had felt like this boundary was set playfully and I also was feeling overwhelming guilt that I, for whatever reason, needed his affirmation for. I am conflicted because on the one hand, I was definitely ignoring his boundary--but on the other, I feel like the boundary was not very thoughtful of my own needs, either.
Prior to the breakup, it was hell. He was getting angry at me for everything--for pretty mundane things like using the bathroom before him and stinking it up. He told me he had to show me how to do everything, but I realize now that a lot of this was just him being particular (e.g, he told me I don't know how to drink tea because I left the bag in, when I just like it strong). Unfortunately, I had flown 5,000 miles to visit him and was sort of trapped in his proximity, and was drunk on love still since I was trying very hard, it was my first relationship, and he had sold me on notions of fairytale romance and told me we were cosmically meant to be together and other lovebomby sort of things. We flew to a convention and I met some of his friends, and at one point he introduced me to a girl he had almost dated before, saying I was a friend and not a partner. I pointed this out to him later and he just said "does that make you angry?". He flirted with a woman at a party, telling her she was pretty while demanding that i bring him snacks (I feel so, so weak for not confronting him about this). He got drunk and I stayed with him as he passed out, but he was angry at me in the morning. When one of his friends told me they thought I was nice, because i was opening doors for everyone, my ex said "Is he really?" Questioning them.
The breakup itself was cold and calculated. He started it by telling me that he thought about not giving me any reasons for the breakup because I always overanalyze things. He told me he wouldn't have broken up with me if I was a woman. He told me I didn't take care of him and he needs a partner that takes care of him, and that his partners always feel taken care of. He threw some things I had said at the beginning of the relationship back at me--misquoting and misunderstanding them.
After the relationship, I had no idea what to think. It was my first relationship. It had started with fairytale romance. I had been passing his tests, I had been an exception to his long string of abusive relationships. He presented himself as this incredibly moral person (vegan, environmentally conscious, telling me of all of the ways others had abused him that he would never do, even his closest friends). I had completely internalized criticisms that he had had of me throughout the relationship, many of which had led to serious self reflection and my writing messages about my growth. Within a week I told him I still loved him and that I always would. He reminded me of his boundary around long messages and said they made him anxious. I was desperate. We took a few weeks of no-contact. We messaged short-messages back and forth, with a few life-updates to eachother each. He told me he was rescuing a kitten that he found, and I remembered how he could be kind.
But as I processed, more and more, I felt angry. I wrote unsent angry letters in the notes app on my phone for a month. I wrote myself a 20,000 word summary of the relationship. This was not a healthy way to process. It elevated me. (Some of you will probably comment that maybe I shouldn't have written this post for the same reason, but oh well--I wanted to process and I want to hear if others have similar stories). Meanwhile, my ex kept pushing back the date for when we would verbally connect again. Eventually, I boiled over. I did not insult him. But I wrote a long message explaining that I wanted to take 3 months of no-contact. I had entered another relationship and told him that even though I was feeling angry at him, he shouldn't be worried because even though I had baggage from the relationship, I was communicating well with my new partner. I also told him that I felt like if I did talk with him, that I would end up tearing him a new one, and that I needed time to cool down. I'm not proud of the message in general, but I didn't call names, tell him he was awful, or anything like that. I was just insensitive and told him I was angry.
And like that, I was blocked. It was over. A period of about 9 months, five of which we were together, with two before escalating towards love bombing and two after escalating towards my boiling over.
And yet, I had never expressed to him that I thought he had been abusive. I felt frustrated that I had told him that I would always love him, when in many ways now I hated him.
Five months passed, during which I came to realize more and more how messed up the relationship was.
And then I sent the message on Co-star.
Fast forward another four months to now.
I just sent him a text, knowing he probably has blocked me there too. It said something like, "I want my last message to you just be: I'm sorry, and I forgive you." I wanted to free myself. I needed to not feel angry at him or ashamed of myself. I needed to not feel like I had a million things to say to him--I needed to just say, this is it: I'm not sending more messages. I'm sorry, and I forgive you. It was for myself. I was forgiving him selfishly, even though he didn't deserve it, so that I could move on.
I feel like I shouldn't have sent this, but I don't feel bad about it yet, either. I needed closure. It always felt like there was some "message I could send" to detail his abuse, and I needed to not have that standing over me--I needed to forgive. I am now oscillating between wondering about myself--whether I have a problem with boundaries, since I had boiled over at this point three times to message him. Feeling frustrated I didn't assert myself about his abuse, that I doubled down on loving him. Part of me is glad that I sent the message on Co-Star saying that he was abusive, because it was the only indication I ever gave him, really, that what he did wasn't ok to me--he had blocked me before I could articulate anything. But I also know that this message even if received would not mean anything to him.
Anyways, now I'm venting about it here on Reddit. Does anyone have similar experiences surrounding self control messaging exes and feeling a bit out of control?

Long story short I signed up for my first sprint tri on a whim last week and it’s less than a month out. I haven’t been training for this event at all but my normal weekly exercise routine includes the following: Swim 4K-10k yards per week, run 15+ miles, and live in a hilly city where I bike everywhere so averaging about 40+ miles at an absolute minimum there, plus yoga.
I am trying to determine what a realistic time goal is for myself. The event has a 1/3 mile open water swim which I am 100% certain I can finish under 9 min (I competitively swam my whole childhood through Highschool) but beyond that I am bit lost.
The bike is 11 miles. I cycle commute in clogs w/ a 20 pound bag frequently. When I bike the 15 or so miles to my office like this my pace is 14mph in those conditions. What pace should I aim for in training? How much exertion on the day of?
The run is 3.5 miles. I have run several half’s and lots of shorter distances and can race a 5k around 21 flat and run at a very comfy level a 24/25 min 5k. What pace is realistic to go for after the swim and bike?
My overall goal is to finish but I’m also competitive and would love to know what a realistic time goal might be. Obviously I know I will be too tired to PR a run or bike at the end but don’t really know what’s reasonable to expect. Also, any tips to piece all these leg together to race well on the day of would be very appreciated!

Hi all, I'm breaking my lease at Bell Frisco Market Center early and have to pay an early termination fee. Long story short, if someone is planning to sign a lease before the end of the month and you take a "transfer" from my lease to the new unit, I'd be able to get out of the fee and would be more than happy to pay an incentive to you. Rather pay a fellow Redditor than the leasing company!
Please let me know if anyone is interested. You'd be able to pick your own unit and lease term and once the process is complete I wouldn't be on the lease so no financial risk or liability for either of us.

Ok, Before I begin, this is my longest Story yet. It was only meant to be a short story, but I don't think 40 pages on a google doc can fit in a single comment thread, so expect multiple posts. Second, I'd really appreciate feedback, even if it's just in the form of an upvote as it really encourages me to keep up this creative outlet. That's all from me, enjoy the story.
Dialog Key:
[Translated]: Dates, Units of Measurement, or other Grammatical terms will be retrofitted to be legible for readers while still staying true to their definition
{Exposition}: Immediate context regarding events, People, Entities, or other key points that allow for understanding amongst different cultures.
We were tricked, completely and utterly duped. It hit us not like a train, but like a lit fuse approaching a massive stack of trinitrotoluene that we were too blind to see until we found ourselves crammed into the tens of thousands of “Corporate Nexuses” that occupied every startup colony, production world, trade hub, and capital world; working ourselves to death. The worst part? We had nobody else to blame but ourselves.
We were blinded by our hubris, our minds stuck in the past, refusing to adapt. All it took was one fledgling, pre-FTL race that made adaptability a main point of their society and culture. One society with just enough cunning to see through and undermine us and our ploys. One Species to pull off what the Humans called “The Greatest Con Game In The History of The Universe.” So where to begin?
We first discovered Humans when they had nearly finished construction on their star’s [Dyson Swarm], though to us, given the vast distances between the galactic core and Earth, we only noticed a minor anomaly, a stable G-class main sequence star flickering in the void of space. It seemed as though someone, or something, was trying to either signal us, or power their stellar civilization for the first time. But in reality, the structure was already done.
When we dropped out of warp roughly [2 AU] away from their 4th gas giant, we immediately began picking up massive arrays of signals and spikes of energy. Turns out our exploration drones had just wandered into a system-wide intraspecies conflict. Spikes in both heat and radiation from nuclear warheads littered their second asteroid belt as our sensors picked up on hundreds, no, thousands of ships, primitive in nature, sure, but still armed [to the teeth]. Their similar design and technological levels seemed to back the idea that this was the same species blowing each other up, and not some other race or civilization.
The last thing our exploration fleet picked up was the warning of multiple target locks as [4 dozen] missiles were launched from what we presumed was a frigate, at our drones. Our drones took evasive actions, though nearly all of them were destroyed in nuclear fire. Only one survived by being manually overridden and found a crater in a massive asteroid to hide in. The human forces must have thought they were of the enemy’s as it never came back up in diplomatic discussion when first contact was established, but I digress.
We weren’t ready to give up first contact just yet so we had our drones observe from afar and move in only when it was safe. We recorded the entire battle. Despite their relatively primitive technology, their ingenuity couldn’t be understated. They used remarkably simple solutions that likely would have ravaged our then-finest warships. We watched as swarms of nigh-indestructible drones simply carved through ship after ship, targeting weak points like reactor cores and bridges that would completely disable the ship. The only thing, it seemed, that could stop these drones were other drones of similar make and model.
Other times, when that didn’t work, we saw them fire missiles at extreme speeds directly into the hull of the enemy. Miraculously, however, they didn’t explode or tear through the armor, they merely embedded themselves into the ship and sealed the holes they made. We found this odd, perhaps a series of malfunctions? Or Factory sabotage? Subterfuge wasn’t uncommon in galactic wars, it was an art that was hard to master, but given the unorthodox yet effective tactics of these primitives, the assumption could be made that they had become proficient in the art of espionage as well.
But we noticed something odd. Several ships struck by these missiles began taking hits to their weapon efficiency, and they began suffering power shortages before going completely offline. A short while later the missiles would extract themselves from the armor and return to their mother ship, and the victimized ship would spontaneously self-destruct when all of the missiles had long departed.
A closer examination of these weapons told us that these were not missiles at all, but boarding shuttles! How could any species survive those levels of [G]-forces!? We once again watched the carnage repeated on another small ship. Watching several heat signatures, these entry teams would breach the hull of the ship and disperse in two separate directions before our sensors stopped picking up on them. We could fill in the blanks from there: They would go through the ship, butchering the crew and initiating the self-destruction of the ship before escaping with their lives.
Pirate tactics, minus the unnecessary depredation of valuable loot, I suppose.
When the battle finally cleared, after [16 Earth Standard Days] mind you, a ridiculously long time to be [duking it out], We watched as the surviving ships scoured for survivors, occasionally firing off a few nuclear warheads at the corpses of large combat apparatus before they turned tail and headed towards what our sensor’s picked up was what appeared to be an outer system shipyard. Our drone was given the go-ahead to move further into the system which became harder and harder to do in secret. There were at least several hundred orbital habitats and [lunar] colonies were spread out across the system, most, if not all of which we had to evade. For [13 Earth Standard Months] we had to hide our drone in what we later learned was one of the “Trojan” belts because one of their gas giants, and all of its dozens of lunar colonies, were giving us a shallow berth in detection ranges.

So long story short, I have had horrible, debilitating periods since I was 14/15 and now I’m 29. I’ve had awful experiences with gynecologists telling me my periods were something that just needed to regulate. From there, they prescribed me birth control pills (I’ve been on 5 different ones) that my body rejects.
I thought I found a really great doctor as he was the first doctor to ever suspect endo and gave me options. However, he’s kind of doing that thing when he just prescribes me birth control and now wants to do an IUD.
At first I was open to it, but now I’m thinking about how much my body hates hormones and how I can’t stop it without it being removed by him. I decided to see a specialist in my city because I feel like he’s not listening to me. I just wanted to ask if I’m being emotional and overreactive? I’m just tired of messing with my hormones every so often and getting sick and being in pain.