Do I have to put to have a 4 page layout if I want paper back? Like if I have an 8 page book, page 1 and 8 are on the same page. 2nd page and page 7 are the same page, etc… or can I make the page layout one by one. This is really confusing to be honest

Long story short, we've been getting in a lot of disagreememts lately. He doesn't tend to listen to what i have to say (eg the aurora was gray, not a cloud). Today it was because i am not excited to do hard hike. I showed him some options for trails and he chose the hardest one (partially bc his coworkers were talking about it and how hard it was). I asked him if he even looked at the other options bc the trail is crowded usually and there's other options as well. He said he did, but didn't seem like it (as i wrote out cons and pros for each hike), when asked he didn't know. So i felt like i put work into doing some research (he suggested in the 1st place) for nothing. He took his coworkers words and wanting to be competitive over what i sent. So i told him that, how i felt. He said that he's bored of life and wants to push himself, while i'm happy being stagnant. The situation was tense even when we got home. He then rubbed in my face that he stopped drinking to challenge himself, while i do nothing. He kept going on for a bit, then i asked him if he was done. He got even more mad and he said i will need to explain to my family why he's not home because we may split over this. He told me then, that i'm a bitch and that he doesn't even want to see my face and to go in another room. So here we are now.
He already knows physically i'm not feeling all that good and the stress he's causing is another factor. I noticed after arguments i get mouth ulcers, so my guess is that i have some autoimmune issues, but i haven't gone to the doctor due to our financial situation. He is also mad because my libido is none, and he wants sex. Going back to what he said, i feel like i do enough, but obviously he doesn't. I work ft, go to school, take care of the pets, plants and house as i can. I also stopped smoking cigs lately.
I don't even know what to do or how to communicate with him. He is my 1st long term partner and we've been married for 4 y. If this is love then i don't know if it's for me.
So my questions are: How do I talk to him successfully without hurting his ego about my feelings and what is a normal reaction for an annoyence? I always lived with volatile people that claimed to love me and idk if i know what love is supposed to be.

Here's the situation: my sister "Kate" (34) and her boyfriend "Ken" (42) (not their real names) moved into my parents' house after getting evicted from their apartment. They live in Quebec. My parents offered them a guest room in their home that they own until they found their own place. But it's been nearly a year now! My parents are fed up because they are being disrespected in their own home that they’ve worked so hard to have (both immigrants from poor families who worked tirelessly to give their children as much as they can). My parents have told them multiple times that it's time to leave, but Kate and Ken won't budge. They don't contribute financially and their names aren't on any lease, although their mail is being sent to my parents' address.
Things have gotten so bad that Kate and Ken record every argument on their phones. You'd think they would want to leave, but no. Their behavior is disgusting to me, leeching off two retired people. It’s time for my parents to relax and finally enjoy life, but instead, they are suffering, getting stressed and being bullied in their own home. I’m already seething with anger as I write this…
My parents want to kick them out but don't know how. They have an appointment with the Regie in a few weeks and need to write a letter explaining why they want Kate and Ken out. I'm confused because they aren't tenants. I myself don’t know how the process works as I haven’t lived in Quebec for over 10 years; I moved to Europe. Do my parents need to go through a legal process to evict them? If so, what steps do they need to take? I’m taking this on as someone needs to look after them! Any advice/info would be greatly appreciated!

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I have BPD as well as OCD. There’s a medication that relieved all my OCD symptoms, but BPD is life-long. I’m typing this in bed with my mom laying next to me. Since I was sexually assaulted, I’ve been severely unstable. I traumatised her with my pill overdoses, yelling that I want to leave with a knife in my hand, but this time I was genuinely ready. It’s crazy because it spiralled from a small argument, to this. Even if I do stay alive, I cannot function for the life of me, I will not do laundry, I won’t brush my teeth, etc. Apparently people with BPD tend to split, and I think I did with my mom. I think all these years of pent up anger and mental illness turned me abusive, because I yell at her, I saw the most unimaginable swear words at her, I hit her when I was 17, I’d tell her I’m about to harm myself and then get angry when she ignores me. I’ve threatened her so many times yet it’s hard to remember the details. I don’t believe I can be a functioning member of society cause I’ve been rotting for years and all the attempts I’ve made to go out and live a good life would come spiralling down eventually.
She grabbed me as I was lifting my leg up against the edge and hugged me tight. She begged me not to leave her and apologised for everything. I nitpicked everything I possibly could and she said she’s sorry and that we’ll have a final family discussion, and whatever I chose to do afterwards will be my choice. I feel like I’ve turned cold blooded and that I’m better off dead. All I want in this life is my mom but the other factors aggravate me. What’s crazy is she can trigger me the most, 98% of my attempts were from arguments with her.
Shoutout to the police officer who told suicidal me that told me I was a spoiled brat who doesn’t have a dad and that there’s no hope for me anymore.

can anyone tell me which steam it's from? can't find it for the life of me. they were talking about Julia's dad and sang/chanted
"dad broke his ass dad dad broke his ass! my daddy broke his ass cause he fell off a ladder"

I wrote a letter to remind myself to be kinder to oneself as surely this feeling will pass.. right?
Strangers by Correspondence
Neither friends nor strangers, we acquainted ourselves with one another, sharing desires for love that the other dismisses. Tormenting ourselves, we pity our own feelings, attributing the pain to our own making. In the liminal space, she existed before we truly knew her, her upbringing leaving wounds we thought we could heal. All this time, we believed our wait for something more would only lead to inevitable disappointment. The only one to blame is the fool in the mirror; so wipe away the paint and ask yourself: What are you? A kid pretending to be an adult, thinking you can handle it all.
Understandably, we longed for companionship, seeking the kind of relationship we saw in our friends. "When will it be my turn?" we asked, never considering that loneliness would creep up on us, slowly killing us inside. Desperation consumed us during those times, leaving no doubt in our minds.
Then came the day we approached her in class—frightened, confused, and terrified. We didn't know anyone, nor did we want to know anyone. But there she was, an angel—or her name was angel, as her ID said so, sat next to her and a nickname was introduced her otherwise true name —sweet and kind. Yet, it wasn't her looks that drew us in; rather, it was her perseverance and gleeful attitude.
As we saw her more and more, she grew more beautiful with each passing day. Butterflies runs around in our stomachs as we wrote these words, a testament to our delusions. We never intended to pursue someone so intensely, but in our worst moment, we blurted out our feelings in a burst of false confidence a drunken text.
We may have felt like idiots at the time, but we don't regret it. It was the first step towards regaining our confidence. Flattered she was, and hopeful we were. But fate had other plans.
In the end, we still hold on to hope, embodying the essence of the hopeless romantic. She may never see us the way we see her, but we still check up on her, because deep down, we care for her. For what's it worth we formed a bond. Created a safe space between us. We were never friends, nor were we strangers—just acquaintances, bound by fleeting moments of connection.

Am getting a ps5 in like a month, I've settled to get those games:
Elden ring ( my first souls game)
Ghost of Tsushima
Returnal
For my 4th game I didnt decide between fifa 23 and RE 7, Ive never played a re game but wanted to get fifa only cause some of my family members play it and my some of my friends can enjoy it ( note that i wont play any online or the career mode) and tbh am not a football fan my self but just wanted a quick couch coop game that i can play with any one who visits me, + i really like the gameplay of fifa. Some of my friends suggested i play the re games but i have never tried this franchise so ig anyone got a suggestion it would be helpful. ( i have played the demo long ago and i remember i enjoyed it)

I'm kinda confused. For example, in LMU you can study psychology if you study G or M course. But... Some universities only accept M. So, does that mean that some universities accept G course for psychology too, and some of them don't?

I started having really painful lips about a week ago. I usually get them when I don’t get enough sleep enough for days, but it never hurt like this. I can’t live without slathering lip balm, and even just putting it on makes my lips burn. Anytime anything rubs my lips (when I’m eating), it burns like crazy and becomes super red like I’m wearing bright red lipstick. It’s so embarrassing. There are a couple of tiny bumps near the edges and I suspect they might be the cause, however I can’t find anything online. I don’t use lip products other than Vaseline lip balm. Not sure what could cause it as I’m not sexually active either.

Twitch has not put any formal announcement out at this point in time and I haven't seen anyone else post about it yet here since I haven't seen any posts about it.
To put it simply Twitch has completely changed their username policy and has removed all of the information regarding inactive usernames and if they will be recycled on their username policy article. Additionally, they have removed the information that usernames will be recycled in batches and that legacy Justin TV usernames will eventually be recycled.
They have now reworded the article to "transfer" usernames of accounts that are violating copyright or impersonating and that's it. The impersonation policy has only ever applied to people with large platforms. I don't want to say his name due to controversies that have surrounded him, but a popular Nintendo let's player's name was taken by someone and he was able to get it without being partnered. On the other hand a medium sized youtuber had her name stolen and had no help with getting her name even when she was being impersonated. There is no information about inactive accounts and whether or not they will be released in the revision of the article. Now, I do know Twitch has released inactive names before as one of the names on my alts is a very clean name when I kept checking for months on end in 2021 so I do think they have been recycling names as I've heard other people get usernames they've wanted as well.
For those who don't know partners have been able to get inactive usernames for years through partner support once per account. It is a "hidden" benefit of getting partnership on Twitch as long as the account is inactive which is why you will see many Twitch partners with short usernames. They would not delete the inactive account and instead just rename it to a bunch of numbers or "_inactive" which may be the reason they changed it to the word transfer in the username article. I do feel like it is a bit fair for partners to get help with inactive names but only making them available to 2% of the userbase is what I think is dumb. Not to mention there is still a bit of a problem with their policy. I know a partner who wanted to rebrand and was unable to get a username because they had already changed their name once through partner support. I know another partner who was refused their old name back through Twitch partner support after making a regretful name change due to partnered names never being rereleased.
I really hope recycling inactive names just something that was overlooked while they were rewriting the username article as it hadn't been updated since 2017 as I am sure that Twitch doesn't really want dead accounts taking up space on their website and the reactivate account article still says that your account can get deleted due to inactivity. They definitely do recycle names as I've seen new accounts with usernames that would be considered common. Also, Twitch still claims to delete inactive accounts after communicating with them. But if they are really done recycling inactive usernames except for partners or staff then that really sucks. I know some people will say that we were lucky to have an inactive username policy in the first place (unlike some other sites), but the lack of transparency and announcements regarding this change is what has made me confused. I know it's just a name on a website end of the day, but I know I'm not the only one upset with this new policy.
Here is Twitch's policies, the tweet from ZachBussey that announced the change, and an example of a partner getting an inactive name:
- https://help.twitch.tv/s/article/username-rename-and-recycling-policies
- https://x.com/zachbussey/status/1790218852636180795?s=46&t=P1719v-nSPPQEUCJYqVgbQ
- https://help.twitch.tv/s/article/account-reactivation
- https://twitter.com/spuuky/status/1418485242948579330

Sports injury surgery plays a crucial role in helping athletes recover and return to their sport by addressing significant injuries that may not heal properly with conservative treatments alone. Here's how it helps:
1. Repairing Damaged Tissues : Surgery can repair torn ligaments, tendons, muscles, and cartilage that are common in sports injuries. For example, procedures like ACL reconstruction can restore stability to the knee after a ligament tear.
2. Restoring Functionality : Surgery aims to restore the normal function of the injured body part. This may involve realigning bones, repairing joints, or removing damaged tissue to allow for proper movement and function.
3. Reducing Pain : By addressing the underlying cause of pain, surgery can provide relief to athletes who have been dealing with chronic pain due to their injury. This enables them to engage in rehabilitation more effectively.
4. Facilitating Rehabilitation : Surgery often precedes a structured rehabilitation program. Surgeons and physical therapists work together to create personalized rehabilitation plans that gradually reintroduce movement, strength training, and sport-specific exercises to rebuild strength and flexibility.
5. Preventing Further Damage : Left untreated, some sports injuries can lead to further damage or complications. Surgery can help prevent these issues by addressing the root cause of the injury and stabilizing the affected area.
6. Expediting Recovery : While surgery itself requires a recovery period, once healed, athletes can often return to their sport more quickly and with better outcomes compared to non-surgical treatments alone. This is especially true for injuries that require immediate stabilization or repair.
7. Improving Long-Term Outcomes : Successful sports injury surgery can have lasting benefits, allowing athletes to resume their sport at pre-injury levels of performance while reducing the risk of future complications or re-injury.
However, it's important to note that surgery is not always the first or only option for sports injuries. Many injuries can be effectively treated with conservative measures such as rest, physical therapy, and medication. The decision to undergo surgery should be made in consultation with medical professionals, taking into account factors such as the severity of the injury, the athlete's goals and expectations, and the potential risks and benefits of surgery.

My wife recently had her 2nd C-section due to pregnancy complications, and was discharged several days later. On top of being exhausted, she was still in considerable pain since they cut through scar tissue from her first c-section.
On the day of her discharge, my job as her husband seemed clear enough: safely get her to our car with minimal hassle so we can finally go home! So after wheeling my wife to the front hospital entrance, I quickly run to get my car, pull up to the patient pickup area, and throw on my hazard lights.
To get to my wife, though, I have to cross the valet lane on foot. As I'm doing that, my focus is interrupted by a JARRING car horn coming from a gigantic SUV less than one foot from my body. I glance to my side to see this rich older Karen and her baboon looking son wildly gesticulating at me with disgusted looks on their faces to move my car. It was the classic "who farted??" look that entitled white Karens give when something doesn't go their way.
Except... their car was parallel to mine, which made her demand that much more confusing.

1 - Why was she in the valet lane, when she wasn't planning to use the valet? (Answer: she got in the wrong lane)

2 - Why not throw the car in reverse since there was nobody behind them and could easily rectify her mistake in less than 10 seconds?

3 - If option #2 is seemingly too complicated, then why not drink a nice tall glass of stfu and wait for the ONE CAR in front of you to finish their business and move?

Nope. She chose Option #4, ie the one that requires the least amount of effort: hold down her horn until other people solve her problems.
Now I'm known for being calm and diplomatic in both private and professional settings — but this tweaked a nerve deep down that is especially reserved for entitled Boomers who have zero regard for your personal circumstances.
So I gave her a "what's your deal?" look and she rolls down her window. I then proceed to directly (and very loudly) explain my family's situation and how it connects to me temporarily leaving my car. And what is her response? She plays it off with a "Why are you so mad?!" with a little laugh, right out of the Tucker Carlson School of obnoxious gaslighting.
Ofc I'm exasperated at this point, and my wife is still waiting. However, luckily one of the hospital workers saw the whole thing and wheeled my wife to my car. As this is happening, the car in front of Karen moves (~2 minutes later) and she drives off. What made me feel somewhat better was the hospital worker walks up to me as we're loading up and goes "I have a lot to say about that lady but it might get me fired!"
Stupidity followed by entitlement, followed by gaslighting. Does it get any more Boomer than this?

NOTE: this Karen definitely was not there for some type of emergency because there's a separate hospital section for that. Likely she was leaving after picking up her son, or was there to visit someone.

I lost my memory after an accident a few years ago. I had trauma induced gray amnesia which basically means: while I didn't forget things like my name, or a general sense of self, perhaps some memories from the close past, I was confused and couldn't recall the trauma (head injuries).
The only things I could remember were very traumatic memories like the idea of being abused by my grandpa, that I had trauma in school, and some general summaries of events that had happened in the past.
Think of it like a coloring book. On each page are different designs, and each design uses a different color. While I could remember the colors used for each page, I can't recall what design is in the page.
People have been doubting me. Saying "well you remembered one memory from childhood so you must not have amnesia". This is blatantly a false idea they brought up that just because you can remember a memory, doesn't mean you can remember all memories.
After the incident, I had flashes of distant memories but haven't since been able to fully describe memories and events.
My parents have been needing to help me understand my childhood, and early adulthood. What scares me is people will tell me about events, and I basically have to firm new memory using the information shared with me.
So I basically have no memory from the past except trauma induced memories. And what my friends, family and acquaintances tell me. I also had journals written which I read through years back. I've since lost the journals. So I dont have anymore sources of memory from my past.
If someone brings up people in an event. I just kind of imagine what the event was like.
It's been really hard. My parents have been working with me for the last few years, telling me about what I was like before the head injuries.
I have to constantly ask questions, and ask about events I don't recall.
The big issue I have is I don't know what a real memory is or not. I can't tell if a memory I have is real or not and so it's hard to understand and process.
When I use to use Marijuana, I would sort of be able to process memories, but alot of it was influenced by ideas I had about my life.
Anyways I am probably not making a lot of sense. The point is how can I help bring some memories back? How do I explain that I don't remember most of my life.and even memories I have may be false or not?

I (21F) haven't spoken to my oldest sister (29F) in 3 years. Essentially, we grew up with a narcissist mom who'd spend her days degrading us, while my dad would just laugh off our complaints and say "she's your mother. Do you know how much I have to hear from her??" For the first time ever, I decided to try to face some of my fears of my mom meeting my friend and hosted a birthday partyfor my 14th birthday. While I was upstairs with my friends, my sister told my mom about her boyfriend that she wanted to her marry. The catch is that her boyfriend hadn't converted to our religion yet and was of a race that my parents openly spoke poorly about multiple times.
After that, even more fighting was happening at home and my parents were trying to "perfect" me even more then usual. I'm the youngest of 4 and so in their eyes they've always deemed me as their last chance at a perfect child. Anything my siblings have ever did that they hated or didn't achieve that they wanted to, was somehow always my problem. I showed a ounce of that trait? Getting beat and degraded immediately. After she did this, they restricted any kind of freedom I had to go hangout with friends to almost nothing. After that, my suicidal ideations increased at least 10 fold.
My mothers disapproval of this guy was steadfast. Her and my sister would have periods of absolute war, silent treatment and then periods of being best friends. My sister never moved out until she ran away home the month I was graduating high school. She ran away before (for a day or two) but this one was permanent. She married the guy and moved in with him. My siblings and I were not invited, she didn't contact us (we were always the one checking in on her) and this is despite the fact that we were supporting her. 3 months later she comes back to meet my parents. Since then, she likes to ask my parents if she can visit every few months. As if everything is fucking normal.
I'm not mad at her for falling in love. I am still upset that knowing how our parents are, she decided to live at home (while having a full time well paying job) and make us ensue absolute hell. She never even acknowledged how the situation impact us. Ever since she came back to start "visiting" I've not spoke to her but in all honesty she hasn't even sent me a fucking text or even come upstairs to talk to me when she was over. I've texted her only to respectfully ask her to not visit since mom goes down a mental spiral and starts crying for days on end because of how the situation ended (it's literally my moms fault lol) and I'm left to deal with it. I feel guilty sometimes cause I know she dealt with them before she had anyone to confirm that they're horrible. But I always think that if I was the older siblings in this scenario, I wouldn't put my younger siblings through this because I know how our parents are and how they only value their image in society

So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input

Essentially work has been toxic for over a year. I am assigned to a different team so my boss had openly admitted it is toxic as he does not directly control that space. I have had multiple conversations with him, his boss, and hr. They are all aware of it. Problem is the mgr and sr mgr causing the toxicity are still relatively consistent in how they choose to bully and aggressively speak to me.
I am in a one party state and have recorded conversations, all with people also in the same state.
I might be able to also potentially show I am being treated differently than other people in my role having to work with the same sr mgr. As I am being held to a higher standard.
I would prefer to be laid off over quitting so I can get severance, unemployment, remaining vacation time paid, and if I’m very lucky my stock vested.
I dread every work day, and don’t want to get out of bed, because I do not want to be scolded, yelled at, or spoken to with an accusing manner while being probed for information in which I have to routinely defend as calmly as possible.
Is there any way I could convince them to simply lay me off since they know it’s has been a very long standing problem and the dynamics are not changing enough?
Edit: I am in Georgia.

I’m trying to make this as short as possible so people wont give up reading lol.
I’m confused my family’s catholic and I don’t really know what I am. It’s too hard for me to believe but at the same time I’m afraid of hell.
REASONS WHY ITS HARD TO BELIEVE:

• People. I know I shouldn’t let people get in the way of my faith but it really stresses me out and I wonder how people can put so much trust into something they cant see. I know another one who donated the church 100 dollars just because she passed her 6th drivers exam “thanks to god”. I just think it’s crazy because it’s literally their 6th.. couldnt have done 1st? Also some ppl r too confident. Ik someone who wont go to confession claiming they havent sinned Lastly, my opinions about social issues don’t align with the priests’/church’s? Beliefs.
  
• another reason: Sounds like a fairytale fantasy. I’m sorry if that was disrespectful in anyway but I just can’t believe it. Resurrected? God? It’s just hard for me to believe. I also read somewhere that you shouldn’t look for proof and that you don’t need proof to have faith. To me that sounds like someone stoping people for finding proof that it’s a made up story.
  

REASONS WHY IM STILL TRYING TO BELIEVE:

• i was born in a catholic family. Growing up everyone surrounding me was catholic we need to go to church every sunday and pray the rosary when my mom tells us to.
  
• Im scared of hell. Adults around me always told me about hell. “Its real” “be a good girl or else they will take you” Yk when your laying down at night and u hear your heart thumping? I thought that was the sound of demons digging up to get me.
  
• miracles. Many have happened to people around me. My teacher (church club at school idk) said her daughter heard jesus talking to hear and started crying. When will I have my chance? My relative was recently in a tough situation and prayed “show me a cat if it will be okay” Guess what. A stray cat randomly went on his lap one day.
  

When will it be my turn to see a sign? Is it even real. Its so hard and confusing. I’m annoyed and mad sometimes about it but I really want to hang on. Or do I? Idk anymore help

I’m just looking for some advice, and I hope you don’t hate me too much for posting here. My much older sister in law (34, future SIL actually) couldn’t have kids, has failed IVF, and no longer trying from what I’ve been told. However her mental health is not good, but she refuses to get properly diagnosed or even speak to a therapist for that matter. I don’t have a close relationship with SIL because she always treated me coldly as a child for no reason. I’m also not close to my big brother. It’s so tiring to be walking on eggshells around her, and I was told that “she had a terrible meltdown” in front of my parents when a distant cousin of mine announced she was expecting. Her infertility is her entire personality.
Situation is: I’m currently 21 weeks pregnant. I’m only 22 and just graduated university this summer with a good job lined up. It was an accident. I have been with my partner for almost 7 years (since we were 15), and we got engaged before I found out. Please don’t send me hate messages, I don’t think I deserve to be degraded and I’ve been told that I should just “get rid of it cause you’re so young”. We can’t be more overjoyed to welcome our little girl. And our relationship has only grown stronger with this pregnancy. I have never even considered terminating, baby is perfectly healthy (I never had morning sickness or other serious pains). I’m getting bigger and it’s not possible to hide with clothing.
I’ve been staying away from SIL as much as I can, but obviously she will figure out sooner or later. She stalks my social media. I don’t have the guts to tell her. Unfortunately, my brother has chosen her over me and my parents, basically cutting off contact. I’m scared to death about potentially pushing her over the edge. I’m just hoping that some perspective from this community might help us.

I 23M have been going out for about 2 and a half months with a 21F and have seen her about eight times. This girl is extremely busy. She works three jobs and may be about to get kicked out of her house. She explained she is sorry that every time we hang out or make plans, she is sucked back into work because of the positions she holds. She explained, “I don’t think right now is the best time to talk to you. I find you extremely interesting, and I just don’t want to waste your time if I can’t give you my 100%. After looking at my schedule, I realize I do not have the time to build a relationship right now. It is frustrating because I want to be around you, but I can’t find the time, and it is unfair to you that I cannot give you that right now.” As for events leading up to this explanation, we have had great conversations. We both actively listened, and we were flirty each time we saw each other. I 23M am confused because it seemed out of nowhere, but it was going great. I don’t understand because I was not friend-zoned or specifically asked to leave her alone. From how I took the message, it seemed genuine, but it makes me feel like an option now or like she needs to pull back and will call me after she figures everything out.

My (28f) cousin (30m) has wedding out of town next month, 3hr drive from our city. They've booked the rooms for all guests in a 5 star hotel for 1night, and 2 nights for families (us).
Earlier this year, my dad (63m) asked his mom (88f) if she'd join our car to get there. My sister wasn't gonna come so we have rooms for grandma + her private sitter + wheelchair. Grandma said no, said his car seat doesn't feel nice for her back (she'd had multiple surgeries for her spine, collapsed discs), so she'd prefer to go with my uncle's (56m) car whose son is the one getting married. My uncle has 4 cars, 1 SUV, 2MPVs, and 1 BMW sedan. My grandma only feels comfortable in one of his MPVs.
Last month, my sister(30f) who lives overseas asked if there's room for her to attend the wedding. We asked my uncle and he said yes, no worries, so my sister decides to come to the wedding. Last Sunday, grandma suddenly said she'll join our car to get there. My dad said his car is full since my sister will come along. It can't fit 5 passengers + 3 suitcases + wheelchair. The seat at the back needs to be folded if we're gonna bring her wheelchair and all our suitcases. He asked what's wrong with my uncle's car, and she said my uncle told her she couldn't come with him cause all his cars are already full. He told her to ask my aunt (62f) or my dad. My aunt also told her she can't ride with her cause she and my cousin (31f) will tag along my cousin's (37m) car (cousin + his wife + his 2 children + aunt + cousin(f)). She told her to go with my dad.
Atp, grandma was tearing up, she felt like a burden to her kids. I told my dad we could rent a car + driver for a day and divide the passengers. But this still means she's subjected to 3hr drive in discomfort, or even back pain, cause our car and rented car within our budget is nowhere as nice as my uncle's MPV. I told my mom we'll put grandma in rental car since my mom also gets car sick if the car smells of car perfume (which will be the case with all rental cars here). I'll accompany her, so my mom, dad, and sister can ride tgthr in my dad's car. This is the best solution we have now. My mom said I'm being disrespectful here for not considering my grandma's old age. She said my grandma should ride with dad, and she's the one who'll be in rental car cause rental driver might not care much about driving for comfort for old people. She said she'll be fine, she'll just have motion sickness pills.
I can't care much abt my grandma cause she didn't even ASK if my mom would be okay not sitting in front seat. When my dad said she'd sit in middle row, my grandma immediately sniped "why am I in middle row? [Mom's name] will be in middle row right? I'll be at the front". So yeah, I'm sorry for not caring much about her comfort when she hasn't ever thought abt my mom's needs; especially when her choice now is between uncomfortable A and uncomfortable B. Am I being rude and the A-hole here?