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2019.02.27 09:22 rainisthelife The Female Dating Strategy
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2008.03.03 00:48 /r/dating: vent, discuss, learn!
A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others
2020.06.08 17:26 MarcoBlack4444 Online Dating For Men - Tips & Advice
This Subreddit was created for single men, by single men to discuss the problems and solutions with everything having to do with online dating. We're also here to have fun, be supportive, learn from the experience of others and take dating offline where it belongs!
2024.05.14 13:13 Own_Tooth9368 I'm not sure if we broke up. Help
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months now. He's 34, I'm 30. Last night we had a difficult conversation that left me feeling confused. For context, the last 2 months have seen more arguments than usual. I figure this is normal as we're finally stepping into more "serious" territory and seeing each other more clearly. We've had a great relationship otherwise. We spend days on end together switching from his place and mine. We both have dogs and they're also a big part of our relationship.
Our recent arguments have stemmed from instances where we've been socializing with his friends, and on two occasions I've mentioned to him that I wasn't feeling very included in conversations. I always make an effort to include myself in conversations and engage. I feel his friends like me, one of them even shares memes with me from time to time. However, on those two specific occasions I felt more insecure because they were with women. I expressed that if i'm his date to something, it's important to me that he includes me, especially if it's with other women. During these arguments he gets defensive and explains how he doesn't understand where I'm coming from, that he did include me. Now, I don't know if i'm being insecure, as it's true that this only triggers me when it's with other women. But I feel there should be an extra level of respect and reassurance as the dynamic between men / women is different.
His defensiveness and lack of validating my emotions has left me feeling hurt. This is generally his response for any sort of feedback I give him when something has bothered me. I feel it's also important to note that I also give him a lot of positive feedback when he does things right, and in general I'm always complimenting him, telling him I'm proud of him, etc.
Sadly, he's recently expressed he's feeling checked out due to all of the arguing. This frustrates me even more because all I ever wanted was validation. It felt he made the arguments worse by becoming defensive about everything. In yesterday's conversation, he sent screenshots of my FB profile where I still had pictures of my ex husband of 7 years. He said it hurt him and I deleted it immediately. I don't use facebook and deleting 7 years of photos felt tedious. But I deleted them because I do realize it was way past that time. It doesn't help that my ex lives in my neighborhood and we've run into him a few times, which he's also expressed bothers him.
To wrap it all up, he expressed these feelings yesterday at the park. I heard him out and listed the things I can do work on certain areas of myself. I realize I can be quite reactive when I feel triggered in the moment, rather than calmly assessing the situation and analyzing if it's worth saying something or not. When these instances arise, we've usually been drinking and that makes it all the worse.
He's saying he's not sure right now about everything, that it's the same thing over and over again and he's tired. I asked him what does that mean, to which he responded "I don't know". Of course, that was very painful to hear, however it's not the first time in the last few days. I told him he's basically breaking up with me, to which he responds "that's not what I said". I feel so confused. I'm not speaking to him until he reaches out, but I'd love to know your thoughts on the matter and potentially someone can help me understand what any of this means.
Thank you
submitted by Own_Tooth9368 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Our recent arguments have stemmed from instances where we've been socializing with his friends, and on two occasions I've mentioned to him that I wasn't feeling very included in conversations. I always make an effort to include myself in conversations and engage. I feel his friends like me, one of them even shares memes with me from time to time. However, on those two specific occasions I felt more insecure because they were with women. I expressed that if i'm his date to something, it's important to me that he includes me, especially if it's with other women. During these arguments he gets defensive and explains how he doesn't understand where I'm coming from, that he did include me. Now, I don't know if i'm being insecure, as it's true that this only triggers me when it's with other women. But I feel there should be an extra level of respect and reassurance as the dynamic between men / women is different.
His defensiveness and lack of validating my emotions has left me feeling hurt. This is generally his response for any sort of feedback I give him when something has bothered me. I feel it's also important to note that I also give him a lot of positive feedback when he does things right, and in general I'm always complimenting him, telling him I'm proud of him, etc.
Sadly, he's recently expressed he's feeling checked out due to all of the arguing. This frustrates me even more because all I ever wanted was validation. It felt he made the arguments worse by becoming defensive about everything. In yesterday's conversation, he sent screenshots of my FB profile where I still had pictures of my ex husband of 7 years. He said it hurt him and I deleted it immediately. I don't use facebook and deleting 7 years of photos felt tedious. But I deleted them because I do realize it was way past that time. It doesn't help that my ex lives in my neighborhood and we've run into him a few times, which he's also expressed bothers him.
To wrap it all up, he expressed these feelings yesterday at the park. I heard him out and listed the things I can do work on certain areas of myself. I realize I can be quite reactive when I feel triggered in the moment, rather than calmly assessing the situation and analyzing if it's worth saying something or not. When these instances arise, we've usually been drinking and that makes it all the worse.
He's saying he's not sure right now about everything, that it's the same thing over and over again and he's tired. I asked him what does that mean, to which he responded "I don't know". Of course, that was very painful to hear, however it's not the first time in the last few days. I told him he's basically breaking up with me, to which he responds "that's not what I said". I feel so confused. I'm not speaking to him until he reaches out, but I'd love to know your thoughts on the matter and potentially someone can help me understand what any of this means.
Thank you
2024.05.14 13:12 Unusual_Chemist_6356 BM Control How Other Races View BW
Summarized: I think BM control the narrative of how other races view BW
For Clarification: Im a 22 y/o DARK skinned black woman. I was raised in the hood and got out of it at around 17 (still homeless) but I stopped going around black people for a while ( community changed so I adapted to other races ) and when I left... I got a LOTTTTT of mixed reviews about black women from other races.
But one of the ones I admired the most was the : Once you go black you'll never go back. and ive only really seen that with black women and other races which is cool.
But the thing that really shifted my views was that when Id go around other races, The ones that didn't like black women were ones that were friends with black men. It wasn't until a black man was telling my bf at the time to cheat on me and fought him for dropping him that I realized something....
I took a step back and googled a lot about BW and learned that BM date out wayyyy more and they more openly bash BW which heavily controls how other races view us because other races look at is as coming from kin folk and that BM probably knows best bc they're the closest and that's probably why I see more men of other races absolutely crazy about black women after being with their first. and boom then there's this "after a black wife trend" that came about.
But one trend I see a lot IN REAL LIFE, is that when another race of man is surrounded by black men(non equally, racially mixed friendgroups but primarily consist of black men), he 100000% says the N-word in front of him and make racist jokes about him behind his back. NEVER EVER EVER FAILS!! and then those same men be like "I don't date bw" but sit in their parents basement with black men listening to trap music, smoking and doing xyzzy but then the next night they're the ones making racist jokes behind the gaming screen or to their friends, Joking about slavery and watermelons and many other things that came with the n-word pass. but yeah my food for thought. Lets talk about it
submitted by Unusual_Chemist_6356 to blackladies [link] [comments]
For Clarification: Im a 22 y/o DARK skinned black woman. I was raised in the hood and got out of it at around 17 (still homeless) but I stopped going around black people for a while ( community changed so I adapted to other races ) and when I left... I got a LOTTTTT of mixed reviews about black women from other races.
But one of the ones I admired the most was the : Once you go black you'll never go back. and ive only really seen that with black women and other races which is cool.
But the thing that really shifted my views was that when Id go around other races, The ones that didn't like black women were ones that were friends with black men. It wasn't until a black man was telling my bf at the time to cheat on me and fought him for dropping him that I realized something....
I took a step back and googled a lot about BW and learned that BM date out wayyyy more and they more openly bash BW which heavily controls how other races view us because other races look at is as coming from kin folk and that BM probably knows best bc they're the closest and that's probably why I see more men of other races absolutely crazy about black women after being with their first. and boom then there's this "after a black wife trend" that came about.
But one trend I see a lot IN REAL LIFE, is that when another race of man is surrounded by black men(non equally, racially mixed friendgroups but primarily consist of black men), he 100000% says the N-word in front of him and make racist jokes about him behind his back. NEVER EVER EVER FAILS!! and then those same men be like "I don't date bw" but sit in their parents basement with black men listening to trap music, smoking and doing xyzzy but then the next night they're the ones making racist jokes behind the gaming screen or to their friends, Joking about slavery and watermelons and many other things that came with the n-word pass. but yeah my food for thought. Lets talk about it
2024.05.14 13:04 zeppelincheetah Do any Orthodox women have advice for an Orthodox woman (my wife) that has trouble making friends with women?
My wife used to have all guy friends but since she became Orthodox (with me - we became Catechumens when we were dating) she has been told (rightly I think) that married women shouldn't seek friendships with other men (by our priest). I am her only friend and she gets sad about not having any other friends. She has in the past mostly had friendships with guys and feels more comfortable with male friendships.
Are there any women who feel the same that have found a way to have friendships with women?
submitted by zeppelincheetah to OrthodoxChristianity [link] [comments]
Are there any women who feel the same that have found a way to have friendships with women?
2024.05.14 12:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 12:43 Honesty_Hour420 I have sex with transwomen during dry spells &/or use them as rebounds. Ama
I came here to talk about this because I can’t talk to anyone else I know about it. I am VERY attracted to transwomen, however due to the social stigma & my religious worldview, I do not openly date them.
Honestly, I know I couldn’t do it long-term simply bc I do want a family with a wife & kids. & I love pussy alot more than anal. But I can’t deny the fact that transwomen unleash a primal lust within me. The sex itself is amazing , mainly bc there aren’t any qualms about having her eat my ass , no pregnancy concerns (yes, I get tested & confirm their status before anything happens) , they suck dick better , more often than not , & it’s just something about seeing dick & balls hanging from a gorgeous girl bent on all fours that gets my dick extra hard.
So whenever I am going thru a serious dry spell , or when I’m newly out of a relationship , my sights immediately turn to them (some have helped me get over breakups rather quickly). I get on grindr , taimi, set in my profile that I’m only looking for transwomen & I go from there.
I usually have a roster built up of transwomen if I’m not dating biowomen & treat it as a genuine fwb relationship. We go places & do stuff together , then have some great sex afterwards. I always make it clear that I’m not looking for anything longterm & with the exception of one girl (who slashed my tires after I told her that 😵💫) they all have been cool with it.
I do cut things off amicably with a transwoman when I am seriously dating a biowoman. & I am always 100% faithful during my relationship. But that roster I built just doesn’t disappear lol because unless I get married , it will certainly be utilized after a breakup.
A thing that plays a part in this is the fact that it is simply easier to have sex with transwomen than biowomen. Not that I can’t get girls, but you just don’t have to jump thru as many hoops before you have sex.
Besides , many of the transwomen I have talked to , tend to be , even more selective than women in terms of who they’ll have sex with as far as mere attraction goes. I mean some of these girls look like pornstars in person & obviously I’m not the only one whose dick gets hard when you see them naked. So they do have plenty of choices as I have seen endless messages of thirsty men of all backgrounds in many of these girl’s inboxes.
But anyway , that’s my confession that I don’t see myself telling anyone besides God Himself. A black dude that is a first-generation American with African roots from Baltimore ? You could imagine what that would be like for me.
So , ask me anything. I am very interested in what you all have to say. Didn’t get much engagement when I posted elsewhere but hoping that changes.
submitted by Honesty_Hour420 to self [link] [comments]
Honestly, I know I couldn’t do it long-term simply bc I do want a family with a wife & kids. & I love pussy alot more than anal. But I can’t deny the fact that transwomen unleash a primal lust within me. The sex itself is amazing , mainly bc there aren’t any qualms about having her eat my ass , no pregnancy concerns (yes, I get tested & confirm their status before anything happens) , they suck dick better , more often than not , & it’s just something about seeing dick & balls hanging from a gorgeous girl bent on all fours that gets my dick extra hard.
So whenever I am going thru a serious dry spell , or when I’m newly out of a relationship , my sights immediately turn to them (some have helped me get over breakups rather quickly). I get on grindr , taimi, set in my profile that I’m only looking for transwomen & I go from there.
I usually have a roster built up of transwomen if I’m not dating biowomen & treat it as a genuine fwb relationship. We go places & do stuff together , then have some great sex afterwards. I always make it clear that I’m not looking for anything longterm & with the exception of one girl (who slashed my tires after I told her that 😵💫) they all have been cool with it.
I do cut things off amicably with a transwoman when I am seriously dating a biowoman. & I am always 100% faithful during my relationship. But that roster I built just doesn’t disappear lol because unless I get married , it will certainly be utilized after a breakup.
A thing that plays a part in this is the fact that it is simply easier to have sex with transwomen than biowomen. Not that I can’t get girls, but you just don’t have to jump thru as many hoops before you have sex.
Besides , many of the transwomen I have talked to , tend to be , even more selective than women in terms of who they’ll have sex with as far as mere attraction goes. I mean some of these girls look like pornstars in person & obviously I’m not the only one whose dick gets hard when you see them naked. So they do have plenty of choices as I have seen endless messages of thirsty men of all backgrounds in many of these girl’s inboxes.
But anyway , that’s my confession that I don’t see myself telling anyone besides God Himself. A black dude that is a first-generation American with African roots from Baltimore ? You could imagine what that would be like for me.
So , ask me anything. I am very interested in what you all have to say. Didn’t get much engagement when I posted elsewhere but hoping that changes.
2024.05.14 12:38 tiffforever123 30[F4M]Canada My heart will go on
Hey everyone (:
Young lady seeking a life partner to love and be loved in return . Dating apps are long and exhausting so I'd rather get straight to the point and be direct.
I took the effort to write everything and it let's me know you took the effort also into reading everything plus it lets you know what you're getting yourself into so I'd appreciate you actually read everything and send a newest picture of yourself with an intro without one I won't be replying ( People aren't following instructions and it's becoming a waste of each other time ) 💜
https://imgur.com/Okqs2IZ
Send message via chat ! My Dm/pm doesnt work (:
I'm black , 5'3 , born and raised in Montréal , Introverted, Demisexual. Healthcare worker .
I'm kind , loyal , supportive and looking for the same in a partner who also values honesty , communication, commitment.
I want to go through life with someone that's willing to grow , heal , learn , openminded , We accept each other for who we are but are open to criticism and respect, love , kindness is the center of our relationship.
Location: Montréal Canada
Interests : working out , concerts , hockey fan, romance novels .
Looking for : life partner 28-40 Someone willing to take things slow , open minded , emotional available and can communicate must be a good texter, phone calls , video call is a must
Religious beliefs : Christian but mostly spiritual / liberal views .I believe in God
Deal-breaker: I can't date someone without a job , doesn't take accountability, doesn't apologize, any form of abuse will not be tolerated . Men with children unfortunately. ( unless their over 14)
Likes : Beards, sense of humor, family oriented, liberal views , British accents . Puts 100% in all aspects of their life ( friendships, job , Relationships, mental health , self care )
I take pride in communicating effectively, effort being reciprocated so I expect the same in my partner.
I don't see myself living anywhere else so if you're open to long distance relationship keep in mind I'm not moving and if you aren't either then there's no point in us talking .
submitted by tiffforever123 to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]
Young lady seeking a life partner to love and be loved in return . Dating apps are long and exhausting so I'd rather get straight to the point and be direct.
I took the effort to write everything and it let's me know you took the effort also into reading everything plus it lets you know what you're getting yourself into so I'd appreciate you actually read everything and send a newest picture of yourself with an intro without one I won't be replying ( People aren't following instructions and it's becoming a waste of each other time ) 💜
https://imgur.com/Okqs2IZ
Send message via chat ! My Dm/pm doesnt work (:
I'm black , 5'3 , born and raised in Montréal , Introverted, Demisexual. Healthcare worker .
I'm kind , loyal , supportive and looking for the same in a partner who also values honesty , communication, commitment.
I want to go through life with someone that's willing to grow , heal , learn , openminded , We accept each other for who we are but are open to criticism and respect, love , kindness is the center of our relationship.
Location: Montréal Canada
Interests : working out , concerts , hockey fan, romance novels .
Looking for : life partner 28-40 Someone willing to take things slow , open minded , emotional available and can communicate must be a good texter, phone calls , video call is a must
Religious beliefs : Christian but mostly spiritual / liberal views .I believe in God
Deal-breaker: I can't date someone without a job , doesn't take accountability, doesn't apologize, any form of abuse will not be tolerated . Men with children unfortunately. ( unless their over 14)
Likes : Beards, sense of humor, family oriented, liberal views , British accents . Puts 100% in all aspects of their life ( friendships, job , Relationships, mental health , self care )
I take pride in communicating effectively, effort being reciprocated so I expect the same in my partner.
I don't see myself living anywhere else so if you're open to long distance relationship keep in mind I'm not moving and if you aren't either then there's no point in us talking .
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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]
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2024.05.14 12:16 VISCAFCB How did you discover you were lesbian?
I’m having a hard time with my sexuality right now and I could really use some advice and to hear some stories from those confident in their sexuality. I know there’s often shitty unicorns and stuff in this sub(long time lurker), but this is a genuine post about my sexuality.
I’ve always known I like women. Since I was a kid I had crushes on them, but didn’t learn that being gay was “a thing” until I was about 14, when I met my first love who was female. Long distance but anything we did I loved. I never even thought about labelling myself because that’s not what I cared for, I just knew I was inlove.
We broke up and I went through a rebound phase. A guy asked me out and my loved ones told me to say yes to get over the girl, so I did, despite not wanting to. We didn’t kiss or anything, I had 0 attraction to him. I ended it after 2 months of hanging out and just told myself he just wasn’t my type. I met up with another guy for a hookup, because I wanted to try irl stuff, we did everything but sex but the entire time I wanted to leave and I hated it. I felt nothing from his touch and didn’t enjoy touching him. Again, told myself it was a once off.
There was online stuff with tons of women before and after this which I always enjoyed, tried it once or twice with men but wasn’t ever interested so just stopped with them.
Forward onto when I was 17, I started dating a cis girl at my school in my year. That’s when I lost my virginity to her. The sex was amazing, I loved everything about it. But I wasn’t feeling the personality and after about 7/8 months we broke up. We just weren’t compatible, nothing to do with her gender. After we broke up that’s when I started to wonder if I am lesbian. I had never had much attraction to men. That was until I met my ex. It felt like for the first time I had possible attraction to a man, but I wasn’t sure. We had sex and such, and I enjoy the physical feeling of a penis inside, but everything else doesn’t feel like it does with a woman. No excitement, no fun, anything like that. And straps exist which I am dying to try with a woman. It’s like women are ecstasy and men are water to me. I loved how he treated me, he was quite feminine and gentle. I wont go into detail but one he started treating me bad I broke up with him. I felt so relieved. Shortly after I met a woman and it’s like sparks lit up in me again, which I’ve never had with any man, only women. That made me realise I never had sparks with him. Now turns out she was bicurious and not ready to experiment so I respected that and we’ve became just great friends. There’s no longer feelings, but meeting her reminded me of how much I love women and how I simply don’t feel that way with men.
Am I forcing myself to try with men because of social stigma or comphet? I will never love a man the way I love a woman. How do I figure it out?
submitted by VISCAFCB to LesbianActually [link] [comments]
I’ve always known I like women. Since I was a kid I had crushes on them, but didn’t learn that being gay was “a thing” until I was about 14, when I met my first love who was female. Long distance but anything we did I loved. I never even thought about labelling myself because that’s not what I cared for, I just knew I was inlove.
We broke up and I went through a rebound phase. A guy asked me out and my loved ones told me to say yes to get over the girl, so I did, despite not wanting to. We didn’t kiss or anything, I had 0 attraction to him. I ended it after 2 months of hanging out and just told myself he just wasn’t my type. I met up with another guy for a hookup, because I wanted to try irl stuff, we did everything but sex but the entire time I wanted to leave and I hated it. I felt nothing from his touch and didn’t enjoy touching him. Again, told myself it was a once off.
There was online stuff with tons of women before and after this which I always enjoyed, tried it once or twice with men but wasn’t ever interested so just stopped with them.
Forward onto when I was 17, I started dating a cis girl at my school in my year. That’s when I lost my virginity to her. The sex was amazing, I loved everything about it. But I wasn’t feeling the personality and after about 7/8 months we broke up. We just weren’t compatible, nothing to do with her gender. After we broke up that’s when I started to wonder if I am lesbian. I had never had much attraction to men. That was until I met my ex. It felt like for the first time I had possible attraction to a man, but I wasn’t sure. We had sex and such, and I enjoy the physical feeling of a penis inside, but everything else doesn’t feel like it does with a woman. No excitement, no fun, anything like that. And straps exist which I am dying to try with a woman. It’s like women are ecstasy and men are water to me. I loved how he treated me, he was quite feminine and gentle. I wont go into detail but one he started treating me bad I broke up with him. I felt so relieved. Shortly after I met a woman and it’s like sparks lit up in me again, which I’ve never had with any man, only women. That made me realise I never had sparks with him. Now turns out she was bicurious and not ready to experiment so I respected that and we’ve became just great friends. There’s no longer feelings, but meeting her reminded me of how much I love women and how I simply don’t feel that way with men.
Am I forcing myself to try with men because of social stigma or comphet? I will never love a man the way I love a woman. How do I figure it out?
2024.05.14 12:10 bulletart Rescued at sea
Back in 2008, around June, we sailed from Houston bound Norway on gas tanker Berge Danuta. Day before reaching Key West our officer spotted a boat adrift. We have pulled 13 people out, who were from Cuba - 2 couples and 9 other men. We had them overnight and handed over to Coastguard in US. There is still an article in norwegian journal Aftonbladet about this! I know it is some 16 years past that date, still one of the most striking days in my career. Anyone knows the fate of survivors?
The aforementioned article with some pics...
submitted by bulletart to cuba [link] [comments]
The aforementioned article with some pics...
2024.05.14 12:06 sandorclegane555 do your toxic parents ever believe you?
a list of things my mother has done. mostly a vent and tramadump
all of her children have been beaten or sexually assaulted by men that she chose to date. she is a raging meth user and a POS, so i know i shouldn't take her insults to heart, but i feel so fucked up from the things my parents have done to me that i don't believe i will ever recover.
no relationship i have in my lifetime will ever feel whole or stable because of her. i'll never be able to hold down a job. i have no one to teach me to drive, or any other adult things. in fact, SHE made me do her taxes FOR her, then screamed and cried about the possibility of owing the government. my trauma response has been "fight" for so long, and when it stopped working, it became freeze.
i am always walking on eggshells. without a steady job or license, it feels like i will never move out, never escape her. i think sometimes that i should have died in 2018 when i attempted.
if i do dishes nine times a week, but the sink is full for two minutes, i'm lazy. if i sleep in an extra three hours, i'm basically worthless. if i haven't taken out the trash, the world is crashing and burning and she is on the verge of death and crying. if something goes wrong with the self-checkout at walmart, she is throwing groceries and jerking her head around like a fucking lunatic while screaming about every little thing that bothers her. it really makes me want to rip my nails off. she likely acts this way from the meth abuse, but my sisters recall her being overdramatic as early as the 1990s.
illness or weakness of ANY kind disgusts her. it's like she's projecting her hatred of herself onto me. when i was skinny and she was overweight, she rarely spoke about it. i suspect she was envious. now that she never eats and can fit into child's size clothing, my weight has ballooned from anti-anxiety medicines and repeated work injuries. she loves to point out that my clothes no longer fit, or that my face is getting puffier. it upset me-- i tried to brush it off as her being old-- but then i imagined a friend saying it to me, and it put everything into perspective.
i do feel like an idiot for ever expressing myself towards her, for crying on her bed and begging for comfort when i was truly anxious and devastated, or for asking her opinion on literally anything. comfort is never given, and her opinions waver on what will most benefit her in the moment, not what will help ME.
one last thing; she was nearly kicked out of the behavioral center i was admitted to for screaming in my face during visitation. feels like a little cherry on top.
i'm not sure what type of narcissism this is, if any. drop your thoughts below if you want, and times your parents have been in denial of things that happen to you.
submitted by sandorclegane555 to toxicparents [link] [comments]
- thought i was faking being sick (tested positive for the flu that week)
- thought i was faking being transgender (have been on testosterone for five years with zero thoughts of detransing)
- told me my suicide attempt was "for attention" (my father died that year and i was being assaulted at school)
- told my boyfriend that i faked migraines (i never said they were migraines at all...)
- says her children are "too perfect" to have mental illnesses (see suicide attempt above, her first child is a heroin addict with PTSD and her other two children have extreme anxiety disorders)
- tells me i'm "too smart" to have autism (when the traits are easily identifiable and present. not to mention that plenty of autistic men and women are intelligent and having autism ≠ not smart)
all of her children have been beaten or sexually assaulted by men that she chose to date. she is a raging meth user and a POS, so i know i shouldn't take her insults to heart, but i feel so fucked up from the things my parents have done to me that i don't believe i will ever recover.
no relationship i have in my lifetime will ever feel whole or stable because of her. i'll never be able to hold down a job. i have no one to teach me to drive, or any other adult things. in fact, SHE made me do her taxes FOR her, then screamed and cried about the possibility of owing the government. my trauma response has been "fight" for so long, and when it stopped working, it became freeze.
i am always walking on eggshells. without a steady job or license, it feels like i will never move out, never escape her. i think sometimes that i should have died in 2018 when i attempted.
if i do dishes nine times a week, but the sink is full for two minutes, i'm lazy. if i sleep in an extra three hours, i'm basically worthless. if i haven't taken out the trash, the world is crashing and burning and she is on the verge of death and crying. if something goes wrong with the self-checkout at walmart, she is throwing groceries and jerking her head around like a fucking lunatic while screaming about every little thing that bothers her. it really makes me want to rip my nails off. she likely acts this way from the meth abuse, but my sisters recall her being overdramatic as early as the 1990s.
illness or weakness of ANY kind disgusts her. it's like she's projecting her hatred of herself onto me. when i was skinny and she was overweight, she rarely spoke about it. i suspect she was envious. now that she never eats and can fit into child's size clothing, my weight has ballooned from anti-anxiety medicines and repeated work injuries. she loves to point out that my clothes no longer fit, or that my face is getting puffier. it upset me-- i tried to brush it off as her being old-- but then i imagined a friend saying it to me, and it put everything into perspective.
i do feel like an idiot for ever expressing myself towards her, for crying on her bed and begging for comfort when i was truly anxious and devastated, or for asking her opinion on literally anything. comfort is never given, and her opinions waver on what will most benefit her in the moment, not what will help ME.
one last thing; she was nearly kicked out of the behavioral center i was admitted to for screaming in my face during visitation. feels like a little cherry on top.
i'm not sure what type of narcissism this is, if any. drop your thoughts below if you want, and times your parents have been in denial of things that happen to you.
2024.05.14 11:59 And_be_one_traveler Ever noticed how often r/AITA and all the similar subreddits love to blame feminism for things it doesn't advocate for?
For example, when they talk about how paternity works legally and the susposed acceptance of cheating
Legal Paternity
It's usually the case around the world that if a wife has a child during their marriage, the husband is legally assumed to be the father. Even if everyone involves knows he isn't, and all want to change this, they may still have to go to court.
This is somehow blamed on feminism. Never mind that depending on a guy who resents being a father for child support can be worse than just relying on welfare. And nevermind that all the women who fled their abusive husbands would love to not give him custody rights (because, many abusers see getting custody of their kids as a way to hurt their mother).
So why did it come from?
Firstly, law codes were mostly developed before paternity tests were a thing. This is just a guess, but at least in the West, where it was usually men who controlled the couple's money, lawmakers likely didn't want their sisters and daughters left destitute by false claims of infidelity.
And at least partially it comes from the fact that the state doesn't want to pay benefits it can get a way with. Which also explains why almost no politicians will advocate against the assumption of paternity for the husband. Just paying for a few weeks of welfare until paternity tests came back for every man, and then hoping the men will all pay the state back, would increase the cost of the social welfare budget for little, if any, community gain. And social welfare is often a large part of a state's budget.
And of course, modern DNA tests have their own problems, like the ethics around the use of DNA given for other purposes to catch criminals. And who would pay for them, and some others.
Cheating
Literally no popular feminist work advocates this. You could argue works like the Scarlet Letter are trying to cast sympathy on women seen as cheaters, but even those are asking why women are being punished much more harshly than men. And if cheating should be a purely social wrong, rather than a legal one. Some thing goes for the Handmaid's tale, particularly the series rather than the novel, where June is the other woman, rather than dating an already divorced man as she does in the novel.
You'll see cheating accepted in some film and TV shows, but I don't think feminist films are more guilty of this than any other genre. Those that do usually protray the women as a victim of abuse by her spouse, however Hollywood does like to sometimes show affairs as romantic simply because the other partner is kind of annoying and the main couple belong together. However, these nearly always have a man willingly a part of the affair. Hollywood is very happy to show men cheating too and protray it as a good or kinda bad thing when it wants too (eg. Oppenheimer).
Thinking about the major feminists I've heard of, I think their responses to having constant affairs would vary.
submitted by And_be_one_traveler to AmITheAngel [link] [comments]
Legal Paternity
It's usually the case around the world that if a wife has a child during their marriage, the husband is legally assumed to be the father. Even if everyone involves knows he isn't, and all want to change this, they may still have to go to court.
This is somehow blamed on feminism. Never mind that depending on a guy who resents being a father for child support can be worse than just relying on welfare. And nevermind that all the women who fled their abusive husbands would love to not give him custody rights (because, many abusers see getting custody of their kids as a way to hurt their mother).
So why did it come from?
Firstly, law codes were mostly developed before paternity tests were a thing. This is just a guess, but at least in the West, where it was usually men who controlled the couple's money, lawmakers likely didn't want their sisters and daughters left destitute by false claims of infidelity.
And at least partially it comes from the fact that the state doesn't want to pay benefits it can get a way with. Which also explains why almost no politicians will advocate against the assumption of paternity for the husband. Just paying for a few weeks of welfare until paternity tests came back for every man, and then hoping the men will all pay the state back, would increase the cost of the social welfare budget for little, if any, community gain. And social welfare is often a large part of a state's budget.
And of course, modern DNA tests have their own problems, like the ethics around the use of DNA given for other purposes to catch criminals. And who would pay for them, and some others.
Cheating
Literally no popular feminist work advocates this. You could argue works like the Scarlet Letter are trying to cast sympathy on women seen as cheaters, but even those are asking why women are being punished much more harshly than men. And if cheating should be a purely social wrong, rather than a legal one. Some thing goes for the Handmaid's tale, particularly the series rather than the novel, where June is the other woman, rather than dating an already divorced man as she does in the novel.
You'll see cheating accepted in some film and TV shows, but I don't think feminist films are more guilty of this than any other genre. Those that do usually protray the women as a victim of abuse by her spouse, however Hollywood does like to sometimes show affairs as romantic simply because the other partner is kind of annoying and the main couple belong together. However, these nearly always have a man willingly a part of the affair. Hollywood is very happy to show men cheating too and protray it as a good or kinda bad thing when it wants too (eg. Oppenheimer).
Thinking about the major feminists I've heard of, I think their responses to having constant affairs would vary.
- Most common would be the third/fourth wave monogamous feminists who would say all marriages should equal and affairs are bad
- You also have the "free love"/polyamorous crowd who insist on honesty, not cheating
- In the past, there was the 60-70s Lesbian separtists who wouldn't understand why you'd want to sleep with more men anyway
- And early suffragists who often argued that women were different to men in that they were more caring and nurturing, so they probably wouldn't have approved cheating.
2024.05.14 11:59 Auctella Skinny boyfriend, plus size girlfriend.
Hello! I (24F) met my now boyfriend (22M) a little over two months ago and he treats me amazing! I was a little scared about the age beforehand as I always went older, but wow am I surprised.
Anyways, the root of the problem is probably stemming from my insecurities, but this man is very very skinny, not in a bad way just in a way where I feel like I’m going to crush him.
He’s always complimenting me and boosting my confidence but I just feel so weird standing next to him!
I adore this man, and he’s much more emotionally mature than the older men I’ve been with and I don’t want to pass up this chance but I feel like my low confidence will ruin this somehow.
Specially for intimate moments, he wants me to be on top and I just, can’t get myself to do it yet. I also always leave my top on because I just feel more comfortable this way and he recently passed a comment about it, but said he wants me to feel comfy enough to remove it myself whenever that may be.
He also gave me a sweater as he was going on a pre-planned vacation with his friends and was like does it fit? Try it on! With a big smile, and I didn’t want to try it on in front of him because I knew it wouldn’t fit as it was only an XL.
Meeting all his friends and family and being the heaviest person there I feel so out of place!
Does anyone have any advice on how to be more confident when dating a skinnier man?
submitted by Auctella to PlusSize [link] [comments]
Anyways, the root of the problem is probably stemming from my insecurities, but this man is very very skinny, not in a bad way just in a way where I feel like I’m going to crush him.
He’s always complimenting me and boosting my confidence but I just feel so weird standing next to him!
I adore this man, and he’s much more emotionally mature than the older men I’ve been with and I don’t want to pass up this chance but I feel like my low confidence will ruin this somehow.
Specially for intimate moments, he wants me to be on top and I just, can’t get myself to do it yet. I also always leave my top on because I just feel more comfortable this way and he recently passed a comment about it, but said he wants me to feel comfy enough to remove it myself whenever that may be.
He also gave me a sweater as he was going on a pre-planned vacation with his friends and was like does it fit? Try it on! With a big smile, and I didn’t want to try it on in front of him because I knew it wouldn’t fit as it was only an XL.
Meeting all his friends and family and being the heaviest person there I feel so out of place!
Does anyone have any advice on how to be more confident when dating a skinnier man?
2024.05.14 11:56 Neither_Syllabub_885 AITAH for no longer being interested?
Hi. I am a 29 F that just broke up with my 38 M narcissistic boyfriend of 6 years (on and off) back in February, he moved out March. I’ve been going to therapy since then and we established that I should be single for at least a year so I can properly grieve each holiday, birthday, vacation without them and know how to be alone. I think that’s a great idea but it’s hard cuz I’m considered to be conventionally attractive and men are always trying to date me. Even if I say I am not interested. I’ve always had a boyfriend, ever since I was 15, I was never single, because men always wanted to date me and I always jumped into relationships without getting to know them first. So it’s safe to say, I haven’t had the best romantic relationships. I get a lot of attention and although the men love it at first (all these guys want her but she’s with me), they eventually grow jealous, don’t trust me, and it ends up being very toxic and they try to change who I am.
With that being said, I am focused on myself and learning how to be by myself. My goal for my future partner would be someone who is genuinely my friend. Someone who isn’t trying to have sexual relations with me I don’t know how realistic that is but, every guy “friend” I’ve had later confessed how they liked me and when I expressed I didn’t feel the same way they stopped being my friend. So I’m hoping to genuinely be friends with a man and we somehow fall in love? Anyways, I met a man through a Facebook group I’m in. I was giving away some unused dancing shoes for men and he came by to pick them up and we have been friends since. He was very sweet and we opened up to each other about our past. He said he hasn’t been single in 6 years, he’s always had a girlfriend and I told him about my toxic 6 year on and off relationship with my ex and we both talked about how I would like to be friends with a man for a long time before dating them cuz I would like to know his personality since I’ve always just jumped into relationships with men I basically didn’t even know. He completely understood… or so I thought.
One day he came over so we can eat tacos and watch black mirror, we normally hang out with other people but this time we were alone. And he tried kissing me… I would avoid it but he literally grabbed my face and we made out but it felt so forced and I did not enjoy it at all. I just wanted him to leave but he overstayed his welcome and I was too nice to ask him to leave. He eventually left and I just felt icky.
The following week he was supposed to take me to the airport. I asked him to come to my place at 6:30 AM. That morning, I was running late, I probably would have been ready by 6:45 MAX. He shows up at 6:10 AM knocking at my door. I didn’t answer the door cuz I’m literally running around like a headless chicken trying to get everything together for my flight. I’m frustrated cuz 1. He is supposed to pick me up. I never said he could come inside. Pick me up to me means that you literally pull up and wait for me to come outside when you tell me you are outside. 2. He showed up so early!! I would have felt bad if he showed up at 6:30 but he showed up at 6:10 and I felt super rushed. Not only that but he kept trying to open my door. So I told him to go wait in his car. I never invited him in and I didn’t want him in my home watching me run around like a mad woman. This just completely turned me off.
He’s been messaging me and tryin to hang out but I’ve just been coming up with excuses. AITA? Am I over reacting?
submitted by Neither_Syllabub_885 to AITAH [link] [comments]
With that being said, I am focused on myself and learning how to be by myself. My goal for my future partner would be someone who is genuinely my friend. Someone who isn’t trying to have sexual relations with me I don’t know how realistic that is but, every guy “friend” I’ve had later confessed how they liked me and when I expressed I didn’t feel the same way they stopped being my friend. So I’m hoping to genuinely be friends with a man and we somehow fall in love? Anyways, I met a man through a Facebook group I’m in. I was giving away some unused dancing shoes for men and he came by to pick them up and we have been friends since. He was very sweet and we opened up to each other about our past. He said he hasn’t been single in 6 years, he’s always had a girlfriend and I told him about my toxic 6 year on and off relationship with my ex and we both talked about how I would like to be friends with a man for a long time before dating them cuz I would like to know his personality since I’ve always just jumped into relationships with men I basically didn’t even know. He completely understood… or so I thought.
One day he came over so we can eat tacos and watch black mirror, we normally hang out with other people but this time we were alone. And he tried kissing me… I would avoid it but he literally grabbed my face and we made out but it felt so forced and I did not enjoy it at all. I just wanted him to leave but he overstayed his welcome and I was too nice to ask him to leave. He eventually left and I just felt icky.
The following week he was supposed to take me to the airport. I asked him to come to my place at 6:30 AM. That morning, I was running late, I probably would have been ready by 6:45 MAX. He shows up at 6:10 AM knocking at my door. I didn’t answer the door cuz I’m literally running around like a headless chicken trying to get everything together for my flight. I’m frustrated cuz 1. He is supposed to pick me up. I never said he could come inside. Pick me up to me means that you literally pull up and wait for me to come outside when you tell me you are outside. 2. He showed up so early!! I would have felt bad if he showed up at 6:30 but he showed up at 6:10 and I felt super rushed. Not only that but he kept trying to open my door. So I told him to go wait in his car. I never invited him in and I didn’t want him in my home watching me run around like a mad woman. This just completely turned me off.
He’s been messaging me and tryin to hang out but I’ve just been coming up with excuses. AITA? Am I over reacting?
2024.05.14 11:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 11:46 BigSnekEnergy She’s back
My ex girlfriend who physically abused me for years resulting in permanent facial disfigurement is back. After I cut contact with her, she went off-line for a very long time. I had a feeling she would be back because she’s a vengeful type.
To be honest, I deserved it. I’m a trans man and she dated me. I found out later she had trauma associated with mad to the point she was triggered by anyone who looked even remotely masculine. It’s still my fault. I should’ve been able to figure out based off some of the things she said in the early days that this would be a problem, but I didn’t. Right now, based off some of the things she said, in the early days, it’s very clear that she had trauma associated with men, particularly bisexual men like me. There are things she said in the early days that made this very clear now in retrospect, but back then I didn’t pick up on it because I’m a fucking douche bag. Yes, she chose to pursue me, but I should’ve turned her down.
Things got serious she moved in with me. That was when she actually told me about her trauma. She wanted me to do transition, I didn’t want to. I wasn’t even on hrt at the time But they were many things about me that were masculine that made her uncomfortable. For instance, my voice has always been very deep to the point of my mom, someone who also has trauma associated with men to the point of hating all of them and thinking they’re all evil, hit me in the face over it too. But I can’t blame either of them for it. They are frightened women and they have full right to hit anybody who makes them feel unsafe.
I thought I would never see her again, but unfortunately she’s back in my life. I ran onto her Facebook account the other day. She also cyber stalked me for about a year after we broke up and called me a lot. I disappeared for a while before resurfacing, and I thought I was OK. I don’t think I am though because I’ve been getting a lot of funny phone calls recently from a number with a Michigan area code. It’s not her number, but she could’ve changed it, and she is the only person I know from Michigan.
I can’t prove it, but I’m a little worried she may have been trying to reach me when I was at a hotel a few days ago. Early in the morning, like 5 AM, I received a phone call on the phone they have in the room. I picked up And all I heard was breathing and they hung up. That one didn’t have caller ID on it, so I don’t know who called me, but I’ve been on edge ever since.
submitted by BigSnekEnergy to CPTSD [link] [comments]
To be honest, I deserved it. I’m a trans man and she dated me. I found out later she had trauma associated with mad to the point she was triggered by anyone who looked even remotely masculine. It’s still my fault. I should’ve been able to figure out based off some of the things she said in the early days that this would be a problem, but I didn’t. Right now, based off some of the things she said, in the early days, it’s very clear that she had trauma associated with men, particularly bisexual men like me. There are things she said in the early days that made this very clear now in retrospect, but back then I didn’t pick up on it because I’m a fucking douche bag. Yes, she chose to pursue me, but I should’ve turned her down.
Things got serious she moved in with me. That was when she actually told me about her trauma. She wanted me to do transition, I didn’t want to. I wasn’t even on hrt at the time But they were many things about me that were masculine that made her uncomfortable. For instance, my voice has always been very deep to the point of my mom, someone who also has trauma associated with men to the point of hating all of them and thinking they’re all evil, hit me in the face over it too. But I can’t blame either of them for it. They are frightened women and they have full right to hit anybody who makes them feel unsafe.
I thought I would never see her again, but unfortunately she’s back in my life. I ran onto her Facebook account the other day. She also cyber stalked me for about a year after we broke up and called me a lot. I disappeared for a while before resurfacing, and I thought I was OK. I don’t think I am though because I’ve been getting a lot of funny phone calls recently from a number with a Michigan area code. It’s not her number, but she could’ve changed it, and she is the only person I know from Michigan.
I can’t prove it, but I’m a little worried she may have been trying to reach me when I was at a hotel a few days ago. Early in the morning, like 5 AM, I received a phone call on the phone they have in the room. I picked up And all I heard was breathing and they hung up. That one didn’t have caller ID on it, so I don’t know who called me, but I’ve been on edge ever since.
2024.05.14 11:44 love_777_love Top Sugar Daddy Sites
These sugar daddy sites offer diverse options depending on what one is looking for in terms of relationships, privacy, and user experience. You can read more in this article https://medium.com/@james-hill-/top-10-sugar-daddy-sites-in-2024-features-pros-and-cons-e2241dd5c4b8
Each of these sites offers different features that cater to the varied preferences and needs of the sugar dating community, from clear transactional relationships to more nuanced, discreet connections.
submitted by love_777_love to sugardatingplace [link] [comments]
1. Seeking Arrangement
Overview: Seeking Arrangement is one of the largest sugar daddy dating platforms, designed to foster relationships that are mutually beneficial. It provides a venue where people can be direct with one another and stop wasting time. It allows for more open and transparent arrangements to be made between members.2. SugarDaddyMeet
Overview: Focused exclusively on male sugar daddies and female sugar babies from the top 20 richest countries only, SugarDaddyMeet is a premium dating site that promotes serious sugar daddy relationships by implementing measures like wealth verification to ensure the quality and relevance of its members.3. Secret Benefits
Overview: Secret Benefits offers a modern approach to the sugar daddy format. It uses a credit-based system, allowing users to pay for interactions rather than a monthly membership. This site emphasizes privacy and has a straightforward approach to arranging sugar relationships.4. Ashley Madison
Overview: Originally designed for people looking for extramarital affairs, Ashley Madison also serves as a platform for sugar daddies and sugar babies. Known for its emphasis on privacy and security, the site caters to individuals seeking discreet relationships.5. WhatsYourPrice
Overview: WhatsYourPrice is unique in its approach to sugar daddy dating. It allows sugar babies to set their price for a first date, and interested parties can bid to win their attention. This model turns the dating dynamic into a clear transaction, which can be appealing for those who value straightforwardness.6. RichMeetBeautiful
Overview: Based in Europe, RichMeetBeautiful is a high-end dating site for connecting rich, successful singles with beautiful, young partners. The site emphasizes long-term, beneficial relationships and uses rigorous security measures to ensure privacy and safety.7. Miss Travel
Overview: Miss Travel caters to those who wish to combine romance with traveling. Sugar babies and sugar daddies can connect to plan and fund trips around the globe. It’s a niche site that appeals to individuals interested in exploring new places and cultures together.8. SugarDaddy. com
Overview: One of the oldest sugar daddy websites, SugarDaddy. com has been around since 2002. It offers a platform for successful men to meet attractive women and vice versa, promoting mutual respect and satisfaction in the arrangements made between members.Each of these sites offers different features that cater to the varied preferences and needs of the sugar dating community, from clear transactional relationships to more nuanced, discreet connections.
2024.05.14 11:35 AzureToad Moving on from a relationship with a PA.
It's been a month and a half since I (25f) left my long-term relationship with a prolific porn addict(33m). You can see my profile for an expansion on what that entailed.. TW it's not very pleasant.
I was completely miserable at the start and just drove around in my car listening to sad music contemplating whether i'd made the right decision. I still seen him as this amazing, thoughtful person who had contributed greatly to my life. We have many 'good' memories with eachother.
On the other hand, being with him was traumatic. He was constantly secretive on his phone and always 'upto' something. Despite his protests that it was innocent. I remember going for a shower after we'd just had sex on holiday. When i got out, I could see he'd been liking pictures of a thai transgender 'ladyboy'. I remember my stomach sinking and a deep sense of unease. This was by no means an isolated incident either. In fact, it would become a common theme in our relationship.
He made me feel bad about it- like I was the problem for noticing him being perverted. He would say things like "Oh well, look how much I've done for you, how much time I'm spending on you and you throw it in my face". As far as he was concerned "every guy does it". I almost believed it too. Sidenote: Jesus, if he thinks every guy does this then i don't want to know the guys he claims to know.
Fast forward to now, and it just feels like the sun has finally came out! I'm meeting new people, experiencing new things, even casually dating other men. I rarely think about him or what he's doing which is good, because I used to think of him all the time.
I think my main worry now is how this experience might manifest in other ways. I really want to move on and form a new relationship down the line, but I feel like our relationship has left me with so much trauma.
Do you guys have any tips? Or positive stories? I'm all ears.
submitted by AzureToad to loveafterporn [link] [comments]
I was completely miserable at the start and just drove around in my car listening to sad music contemplating whether i'd made the right decision. I still seen him as this amazing, thoughtful person who had contributed greatly to my life. We have many 'good' memories with eachother.
On the other hand, being with him was traumatic. He was constantly secretive on his phone and always 'upto' something. Despite his protests that it was innocent. I remember going for a shower after we'd just had sex on holiday. When i got out, I could see he'd been liking pictures of a thai transgender 'ladyboy'. I remember my stomach sinking and a deep sense of unease. This was by no means an isolated incident either. In fact, it would become a common theme in our relationship.
He made me feel bad about it- like I was the problem for noticing him being perverted. He would say things like "Oh well, look how much I've done for you, how much time I'm spending on you and you throw it in my face". As far as he was concerned "every guy does it". I almost believed it too. Sidenote: Jesus, if he thinks every guy does this then i don't want to know the guys he claims to know.
Fast forward to now, and it just feels like the sun has finally came out! I'm meeting new people, experiencing new things, even casually dating other men. I rarely think about him or what he's doing which is good, because I used to think of him all the time.
I think my main worry now is how this experience might manifest in other ways. I really want to move on and form a new relationship down the line, but I feel like our relationship has left me with so much trauma.
Do you guys have any tips? Or positive stories? I'm all ears.
2024.05.14 11:33 ToraAkira AITAH for blocking my date after he was being racist?
Context: I had gone on a few dates with Felix (fake name) prior to this one, and they were all really great. And till this point, there nothing negative about him at all. Even though we are in the same uni, we are in different departments and different dorms, so until our date I have never seen/interacted with him. My friend/roommate (Evelyn/fake name) is the one who set me up with him (this will be important later).
On our 4th date, we had gone to watch a play at our local theatre, and we had a great time. We were going to get an uber back to our dorms when I suggested let's get some dessert, so we can end the day on something sweet. So we went to an ice cream shop and were standing in line to order.
In front of us was a couple with their baby, and the dad was holding the baby over his shoulder, so the baby was looking at us. The baby was giggling and waving so I waved back and the couple turned around. We had small talk, and during this Felix was quiet. He didn't talk to them and he looked uncomfortable. I wrapped the convo quickly as I noticed this. I though maybe he doesn't like kids or something. The couple left, we paid for dessert and left. As we were walking to our spot for the uber, I mentioned " the baby was very cute," He muttered a small yes, I didn't care too much for his reaction and was scrolling on my phone while we were waiting for the uber. Our converstion then transpired like this.
Felix: The kid's dad is black while the mum is asian
Me: Huh? I mean yes?
Felix: That's a shame
Me: What do you mean that's a shame?
Felix: Why did she have a kid with a black dude? There are other Asian guys out there yet she goes for black men
Me: I had no words, I was speechless
Felix: Look, you don't get it, I have trauma from this. My ex gf was also stolen by a black guy
Me: What are you going on about? What does your ex gf being "stolen" have anything to do with that lady and her family.
Felix: You don't understand, asian men have to deal with this all the time. All the asian girls like either white guys and black guys.
Me: I was dumfounded hearing this, he was sounding like a red pill podcast You may have had bad experiences in your dating life but that doesn't mean you can be hateful and rude towards random people or generalise an entire group of people because one person was wrong towards you. You are being racist and I don't think I have it in me to deal with this. I think it may be for the best if we don't keep in contact.
I ordered a separate uber and left. I blocked him and left it at that. When I came back to the dorms, I was visibly upset and my friend asked what happened, so I told him. Somebody must have overheard and now our entire dorm knows he's a racist. Evelyn now is angry at me for blocking him and spreading this situation.
I told her what happened and she said well he has trauma so maybe that may have been a response to it. I said you are stupid if you think I'm going to waste my time dealing with a racist, when there are other people I can date. She said he's a good person and that I should give him a second chance. She's trying to rally our other friends to convince me and thankfully they are not putting up with her bs.
But then Felix's friends reached out to me and said he's had a difficult life and that's he doesn't mean what he said, and now people are harassing him for being a racist. I'm now so annoyed at this entire situation.
So AITAH for blocking him?
submitted by ToraAkira to AITAH [link] [comments]
On our 4th date, we had gone to watch a play at our local theatre, and we had a great time. We were going to get an uber back to our dorms when I suggested let's get some dessert, so we can end the day on something sweet. So we went to an ice cream shop and were standing in line to order.
In front of us was a couple with their baby, and the dad was holding the baby over his shoulder, so the baby was looking at us. The baby was giggling and waving so I waved back and the couple turned around. We had small talk, and during this Felix was quiet. He didn't talk to them and he looked uncomfortable. I wrapped the convo quickly as I noticed this. I though maybe he doesn't like kids or something. The couple left, we paid for dessert and left. As we were walking to our spot for the uber, I mentioned " the baby was very cute," He muttered a small yes, I didn't care too much for his reaction and was scrolling on my phone while we were waiting for the uber. Our converstion then transpired like this.
Felix: The kid's dad is black while the mum is asian
Me: Huh? I mean yes?
Felix: That's a shame
Me: What do you mean that's a shame?
Felix: Why did she have a kid with a black dude? There are other Asian guys out there yet she goes for black men
Me: I had no words, I was speechless
Felix: Look, you don't get it, I have trauma from this. My ex gf was also stolen by a black guy
Me: What are you going on about? What does your ex gf being "stolen" have anything to do with that lady and her family.
Felix: You don't understand, asian men have to deal with this all the time. All the asian girls like either white guys and black guys.
Me: I was dumfounded hearing this, he was sounding like a red pill podcast You may have had bad experiences in your dating life but that doesn't mean you can be hateful and rude towards random people or generalise an entire group of people because one person was wrong towards you. You are being racist and I don't think I have it in me to deal with this. I think it may be for the best if we don't keep in contact.
I ordered a separate uber and left. I blocked him and left it at that. When I came back to the dorms, I was visibly upset and my friend asked what happened, so I told him. Somebody must have overheard and now our entire dorm knows he's a racist. Evelyn now is angry at me for blocking him and spreading this situation.
I told her what happened and she said well he has trauma so maybe that may have been a response to it. I said you are stupid if you think I'm going to waste my time dealing with a racist, when there are other people I can date. She said he's a good person and that I should give him a second chance. She's trying to rally our other friends to convince me and thankfully they are not putting up with her bs.
But then Felix's friends reached out to me and said he's had a difficult life and that's he doesn't mean what he said, and now people are harassing him for being a racist. I'm now so annoyed at this entire situation.
So AITAH for blocking him?
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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]
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 | https://preview.redd.it/v9j40xa82d0d1.jpg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d84faef31ac73e7e4153ba74ade066e61727330 submitted by GraceMorgan12 to u/GraceMorgan12 [link] [comments] Believe it or not, you have a potent weapon to drive men crazy! The success of NYC female escorts depends on many factors, but everything starts with your smile. Find out why it is that in this article. Escorting is a set of highly complicated elements that can work in terms of high or very high earnings/receipts for a model. High-end escorts in NYC do not have jobs suitable for any person because, just as well, not everyone can be a programmer or plumber. You must meet specific requirements to be successful in this field. The list can go on endlessly, but these are the main qualities that female escorts must have to be successful:
All Women Can Do This JobDid you know that every woman has a "weapon" at hand that can drive men crazy? It is part of the arsenal of flirting techniques, and you will understand what attracts a man to a woman. It's about smiling. Any man is conquered by a smile that lightens his frowning forehead from so many worries or frustrations, and this is perhaps the most crucial criterion from a variety of tricks with which to drive the men who look at you crazy. In this field, high-end escorts in NYC need to be energetic, always with a smile on their face.Yes, NYC female escorts are also human and have their problems, but the members who visit your room should not see this. That's not why they are there, and if you show them an inappropriate attitude, you will lose them for good, and consequently, your earnings will decrease. Men date companions for many reasons, and frustration is one of them. Every man has a frustration of whatever nature. Maybe his life partner doesn't fulfill his fantasies, or he's having other thoughts anyway; it isn't easy to quickly find out what men want. The fact is that a man wants to date you, and of course, he has a purpose, and you have to find out somehow what this is to know how to solve his problem. Once you succeed, you will win a loyal client who will return to you often. From this moment, you have added something extra to your earnings. Repeating this method for several clients, not only those from NYC but all of them, no matter their country, will increase your client base and result in positive results for your account. Lack of a Social LifeMany men do not manage in society; they are more withdrawn and prefer to avoid physical contact with any person. In the end, they are still human, and they solve their need for interaction by getting in touch with high-end escorts willing to pay large sums of money to have one-to-one discussions with one of them. The idea is to manage to attract such a group of people with exciting topics, inoculating him with the idea that he will have privacy with you and that everything you discuss remains confidential.Dissatisfaction with their physical appearance is also something often found in clients. Let's face it: nobody is perfect. Neither women nor men are perfect. Flaws make people human, which is a fantastic human characteristic. The problem is that many do not understand this and wish to be someone other than they are. Many are dissatisfied either because they are fuller, or because they are too short or too tall, and so on. With a simple smile, you drive away all these frustrations and make them feel comfortable, relaxed, and willing to pay for moments spent in your company. What Not to Do as an Escorthttps://preview.redd.it/ju6zwv892d0d1.jpg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f75ca631451ee75a4dc1bf7b27de76beb14eff5It is not so easy, and that is why female escorts need to resist stress, patience, and empathy. All this, combined with personality and physical appearance, leads to success. There are also things you must be sure to avoid if you want to have many clients. You may have also seen other models who display a cold attitude and are indifferent to what is happening or others who spend all the time with their clients with their eyes on their mobile phones. All these gestures reject the clients, and the models have less and less income. When a model from NYC complains about low earnings, the fault often belongs to the above reasons. By comparing the examples above, imagine the positive impact of an energetic, cheerful model who constantly communicates with her clients and pays attention from the first time her client approaches her. Here is why the smile matters enormously through all it represents. All this information, which you can also consider tricks or secrets for increasing earnings, will help you become a top escort. Those who end up earning more money are sure they pay attention to their clients. A Model's Personality Can Influence its EarningsOne of the most frequently encountered questions in the industry by potential models is: how much can be earned from this activity? It is a difficult question because the answer depends on many factors. Such a job is based on performance. Companions are responsible for the information and advice they choose to use. Yes, agencies will help you gain many potential clients, but they cannot guarantee the possible earnings. Several factors influence the earnings of a model. Among them are the attention the model offers, the appearance and attractiveness of the model, its personality, and many others.Personality is the key, the most critical factor in this field, even more important than physical appearance. Being a companion means having a very interactive job and is more than undressing in front of your clients. You will interact with the public, represented by several people while going with someone to a meeting or with a single one on a date. High-end escorts with a warm, open, and eccentric personality are usually more successful than others, especially when attracting loyal clients who help obtain constant, long-term earnings. |
2024.05.14 11:14 DommeDevon Findom is BDSM and has never been an online-only thing
Findom is Femdom. It's practiced offline, in the real world, in relationships all over the world. If anyone did like five seconds of actual research into BDSM, they'd know this.
Anyone I see ask about doing Findom in real life, or dating a sub, I am going to assume is:
While I'm at it, whoever told you it's money for just existing is full of something brown and stinky. It's never been that. It never will be that. If you've received "money for nothing," consider that you're simply a product they silently consumed, like renting a movie. A pornographic movie specifically, because no one spends money without getting anything in return. Their return was using you as a masturbatory aid (even if not literally). Or in some cases, masochism or self destructive behavior. But they still used you. And I'm not saying that's wrong, but y'all need to understand the reality of it, that this is what you've signed up for. As so many of us have been saying, Findom is sex work, and you're a product on the porn market.
When Findom is practiced as part of a real life D/s relationship, that aspect isn't there. It's no different than any other relationship. There's give and take and love and chores and bills all that. D/s is a kinky layer on top of a vanilla foundation. It's not the same as online (and so, so much more rewarding).
Online can be rewarding as well when you find someone you get on well with. I have some great conversations with my subs. I have many subs that I'm simply just friends with. I have a great community of other Dommes. I made that happen by treating everyone equally. By being social and friendly. My Twitter has zero bait posters and zero drama. If that's all you're finding, it's 100% on you. Get a better people picker and stop following the people who tweet shallow, tired Findom cliches. There's no shortage of experiences Dommes with engaging, intelligent content.
One last thing... where did this notion that Reddit has better subs come from? They're the same men. Findom doesn't change from one platform to the other. Men aren't "better quality" one place vs another. There's not a single social platform that won't have entitled men, incels, and scammers. So bury that notion or you're just going to be disappointed. If anything, Reddit has more entitled men because it's chock full of free porn. Muskrat has made adult content harder to find on Twitter, whereas Reddit has all the curated, free porn by the millions, easily searched and found, with literally zero barrier to entry. I would bet my savings account that there's far more minors on Reddit also. Now personally, I file that under "not my circus, not my monkeys," but if you're uncomfortable with minors seeing your ass in their feed, then just keep in mind... they absolutely are. You can't advertise on any social platform without that being a reality.
submitted by DommeDevon to findomtalk [link] [comments]
Anyone I see ask about doing Findom in real life, or dating a sub, I am going to assume is:
- Literally a minor, or
- Has led an incredibly sheltered life, or
- Can't conceive that woman would want to be dominant in their personal relationships, or
- Think sub men are stereotypes of weak losers.
If #4 is the case, check your baggage at the door, because that's an offensive stereotype and by that logic, submissive women are also weak losers. If you think it's different because gender, congratulations, you've drank the toxic masculinity Kool Aid and shouldn't be practicing a kink that requires subverting outdated and ignorant social/cultural beliefs in a safe and healthy manner.
While I'm at it, whoever told you it's money for just existing is full of something brown and stinky. It's never been that. It never will be that. If you've received "money for nothing," consider that you're simply a product they silently consumed, like renting a movie. A pornographic movie specifically, because no one spends money without getting anything in return. Their return was using you as a masturbatory aid (even if not literally). Or in some cases, masochism or self destructive behavior. But they still used you. And I'm not saying that's wrong, but y'all need to understand the reality of it, that this is what you've signed up for. As so many of us have been saying, Findom is sex work, and you're a product on the porn market.
When Findom is practiced as part of a real life D/s relationship, that aspect isn't there. It's no different than any other relationship. There's give and take and love and chores and bills all that. D/s is a kinky layer on top of a vanilla foundation. It's not the same as online (and so, so much more rewarding).
Online can be rewarding as well when you find someone you get on well with. I have some great conversations with my subs. I have many subs that I'm simply just friends with. I have a great community of other Dommes. I made that happen by treating everyone equally. By being social and friendly. My Twitter has zero bait posters and zero drama. If that's all you're finding, it's 100% on you. Get a better people picker and stop following the people who tweet shallow, tired Findom cliches. There's no shortage of experiences Dommes with engaging, intelligent content.
One last thing... where did this notion that Reddit has better subs come from? They're the same men. Findom doesn't change from one platform to the other. Men aren't "better quality" one place vs another. There's not a single social platform that won't have entitled men, incels, and scammers. So bury that notion or you're just going to be disappointed. If anything, Reddit has more entitled men because it's chock full of free porn. Muskrat has made adult content harder to find on Twitter, whereas Reddit has all the curated, free porn by the millions, easily searched and found, with literally zero barrier to entry. I would bet my savings account that there's far more minors on Reddit also. Now personally, I file that under "not my circus, not my monkeys," but if you're uncomfortable with minors seeing your ass in their feed, then just keep in mind... they absolutely are. You can't advertise on any social platform without that being a reality.
2024.05.14 11:00 ChrisWalley [Identify] Can anyone help me to identify this Omega men's watch?
![[Identify] Can anyone help me to identify this Omega men's watch?](https://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/59L1LkmswygotGfDJ2WAF5m5SAja2TsKa5ewL3FMTg0.jpg "[Identify] Can anyone help me to identify this Omega men's watch?") | Quartz (?) Omega men's watch owned by a relative. Purchase date was 1981, and the warranty card indicates the movement number is 1960164, but beyond that I have no information. submitted by ChrisWalley to Watches [link] [comments] The watch is non-running, and has Arabic numerals with a centered second hand and a Fixo-Flex bracelet. Case back is blank. Thank you! https://preview.redd.it/n8bq7dpcxc0d1.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08dc42348f345ac47d490c7e7d4ba8442b86b106 https://preview.redd.it/g35oscpcxc0d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7fc19622100207c38209fa267384ec6c79d64d0c https://preview.redd.it/nffwlcpcxc0d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c221de6ab230b9a539c6725ffaad511252222f68 https://preview.redd.it/n975qcpcxc0d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f06cd57a12fc808773b2060ce7f9983fb9f184ce https://preview.redd.it/nx7i4cpcxc0d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61b67633eadfe9b898a515c6d4542473bcc2a143 |