Care plan for hyperkalemia

Ever since the day my kid was born, the focus has always been on mom. How’s mom, what can we do for mom, is dad doing enough for mom and the baby. Ok fine, I stepped up as much as I could without falling over from exhaustion. It got to a point where I was falling asleep at the wheel and the swerving one ride made her realize and she made me back off dad duties a bit.
Fast forward 2 years:
I travel for work and am probably away 20-25 nights total throughout the year with 4 night stretches at a time max. Because of my travel I feel guilty and am made to feel guilty (indirectly) to be away from home any additional nights. So I don’t go to any social events and as such don’t have any friends besides a few school ones that live in various distant parts of the country and don’t get to see them anyway. When I am home/not working I do 100% of bed time routine and 95% of morning duties. My wife is free to go out during evenings and make plans whenever she wants which she does a few times per month. I take 100% care of the animals, typical guy allocated duties such as yard work, garbage, home maintenance is all me and we split laundry/cooking 75(her)/25(me) and she typically does all the cleaning because she “doesn’t like the way I do it”.
Because of that 75/25 these last couple weeks I was told that I am not capable of dealing with the toddler and keeping up with housework. She works in office 2x per week and takes him to daycare those days and I usually take him the other 3. She is getting a new male boss and was worried about our toddler making her late tomorrow to which I said not to worry and that I can take him. At which point I was “politely” informed by her that it’s the woman that does all the sacrifices and I simply wouldnt understand.
Well fuck me I guess then.
I feel defeated. Nothing is ever good enough any more. When I try to discuss that I am doing my part I get the typical “like what?”. I’ve tried providing examples and proof which simply gets dismissed. Or if it gets acknowledged, it gets forgotten about very quickly and the focus is returned on the things I’m not doing.
For the dads out there working your hands to the bone and losing sleep, I feel you. Sometimes our own families don’t give a shit about us and that will always be the harsh reality. At least they will think fondly of us when we are in the ground….maybe.

Any pup name suggestions? The puppy distribution system apparently exists and I acquired what I believe to be an Anatolian Shepard. I work at a vet so he’s been cross posted and checked for a microchip with no claims yet. I put him on a plan today with all of his preventive care included so I guess he is mine now? I can’t wait for his DNA results to come back! 😅💕 Beans is super cute! Everyone so far has agreed on that name. I like the name Xander but my husband said absolutely not. I love outer space, plants, fantasy books and anything nostalgic (I’m a 90s kid)! Because I work at a vet I want a unique-ish name. Beans isn’t too common but I have seen it a few times! For example, Astro, Cosmo, Zeus, to common.

I finally published for the first time. Not the first time I've finished a novel, but certainly the first time I have actively published one .. one that I've been a little proud of. I know it's a long process to get noticed, or even start to see some traction in sales & downloads, but how do you go about promoting your novel? I feel like I'm stuck. 😕
Beginning of chapter one below - if anyone would like to provide feedback that would be lovely. 🙂
[2,310] It began like a surreal haze, a fever dream dancing with unknown figures swirling around her like a languid tornado, their movements seemingly slowed by some unseen force as she awoke to a world spinning out of her control. She found herself surrounded by strangers who moved like spectres in a dream, fragmented flashes who assaulted her consciousness - a woman gently pressing a cloth to her throbbing head, another offering sips of water while she coughed and struggled to swallow, a man peering down at her with a furrowed brow, and a mysterious figure lingering in the doorway with an unsettling glint of desire in his eyes.
The room buzzed with a quiet urgency as they hovered around her, their faces etched with concern and something else she couldn't quite place - an undercurrent of tension that seemed to pulse in time with her own racing heart. These disjointed images flitted in and out, creating a mosaic of fragmented reality. Awake, her body throbbed with pain; asleep, she plunged into a black abyss, time slipping away unnoticed. Each awakening brought the desire for oblivion as her mind plunged back into the depths of darkness.
Beth jolted upright, startled by the sharp bang of a car backfiring. A cry of pain escaped her lips as she attempted to sit up, her back and legs resisting her will. A woman, the same from her fleeting visions, hurried into the room with a damp cloth and a glass of water.
"Easy now," the woman spoke gently, her mild Spanish accent adding warmth to her sharp words as she pressed the cloth to Beth's forehead and helped her sit up, "you're weak, rushing won't do you any favours. The sooner you regain strength, the sooner you can move."
A man, the one with the odd expression in her visions, appeared in the doorway once again; "and the sooner we can leave this place, I'm sick of it." He grumbled, striding away with urgency and frustration. His steps were heavy and fraught with agitation, each one seeming to leave a deep imprint on the ground beneath him. His grumbling was like distant thunder, punctuated by the clenching of his jaw and the tightening of his fists.
"Don't mind my brother," the woman interjected sharply, "it's not you - he hates everyone." Hate, Beth pondered, wondering what she might have done to earn his disdain.
"Are you hungry?" The woman stood, walking to the other side of the room to adjust another pillow behind Beth's back. Beth nodded; "I'll get you some soup."
Left alone, Beth surveyed the room - beige walls, a shattered TV, torn brown curtains. She squinted at the notepad on the side table, revealing the branding - Mill Village Motel Eatonville. The coffee pod machine at the room's far end, covered in dust, hinted at a neglected past.
"You're awake," startled, Beth turned to find the man with the furrowed brow at the door - tall and dark, with piercing brown eyes, he appeared softer now, "how are you feeling?" Beth managed a brief smile before adjusting herself, wincing in pain. He rushed to offer a hand, and she took his arm to shift as he adjusted the pillow.
"Want to give walking a try?" The man's warm, brown eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled down at her, his features etched with concern, his furrowed brow now smooth and his brown eyes sparkled with an unfamiliar kindness.
She shook her head, and the woman returned with soup and water; "she needs to eat before attempting to walk, Austin," she said, setting the tray before Beth.
"Then we'll try again tomorrow," Austin expressed, heading towards the door, "the sooner we leave, the better - we've been here for too long." His footsteps echoed with determination and authority, less frustrated than the other man's but equally resolute.
"I apologise if it's cold. Heating options are limited here. Need a hand?" The woman offered. Beth shook her head, the pounding of her headache resonating through her body.
"Well I'll leave you to it then. Shout out if you need anything, if you can talk at all." Beth glanced down at her bowl of soup, parting her lips as if to speak, but no words escaped. A deep sigh escaped from the woman's mouth as she turned and left the room, leaving Beth alone with her cold, untouched meal. The silence in the room was deafening, broken only by the sound of muffed chatter outside.
The days stretched longer as Beth's need for rest diminished. Boredom and confusion settled in, intensifying as the people from her visions became tangible presences, moving in and out of her room. They attended to her needs but seldom engaged in conversation. At night, their muffled voices in the adjoining room became a distant comfort, and the faint echoes of their arguments a source of intrigue.
"We need to leave," a frustrated male voice pierced through the thin walls, "we have to head further south before winter traps us with little supplies and an extra mouth to feed - considering you're all so intent on keeping this girl alive."
"This woman," a familiar female voice retorted, likely the one who had been caring for her, "needed help - I distinctly remember a time when I wasn't doing well and needed it too."
"You're my sister, of course, I wasn't going to leave you behind."
"I'm not talking about you, Luis," she yelled, "I'm talking about before you came back from Minnesota and found me."
"Why can't we just leave her here with some supplies and a gun. Why do we need to bring her with us?"
"Jesus Christ Luis we're not leaving her here alone and you two can have it out later," intervened another man, "but Luis is right - we need to leave before the snow settles in."
The argument faded into muffled voices again, and Beth strained to catch the words exchanged between the trio. A knock at the door startled her.
"May I come in?" A young girl, the same from her visions, had opened the door quietly without her even noticing. "I thought the yelling might have woken you." Beth nodded, maintaining her silence.
"I'm Chantelle." Her soft Southern accent flowed like a gentle breeze through a cornfield. She pulled up a chair beside the bed. "Luis can get into it with everybody, but he means well. Well, no, that's a lie. I don't know why I said that. He's a dick."
"I gathered," Beth whispered and laughed a little, suddenly overtaken by a violent cough.
Chantelle rushed to hand her water; "so, you do speak. From the way Austin and Val were sayin' it, it sounded like you were mute. I thought, you couldn't be deaf because you've been nodding and smiling like a dang puppet."
Beth laughed and took another sip; "I didn't really have anything worth saying until now. No one has bothered to make conversation."
"Your accent, where are you from?" Chantelle sat down on the wooden chair, her long dark hair cascading down her back in gentle curls. Her bright brown eyes sparkled with kindness as she looked towards Beth.
"Australia," Beth paused, realising she hadn't thought about home for a while, "I'm from Australia," she repeated.
Chantelle pulled out a deck of cards; "well, I figured you might be bored and needed a little human interaction that didn't make you feel like you were in a hospital."
Beth's eyes lit up, and Chantelle smiled; "what do you want to play?"
— — —
"What do you think you are doing?" Austin stormed into the motel room.
"We're leaving. Today," Luis' words cut through the air.
"The van's still in bad shape, and we won't survive this winter on foot." Austin's arms were folded tightly across his chest, the muscles in his biceps and forearms bulging with tension. His jaw was clenched, and his brows furrowed in frustration.
"Then fix the damn van!" Luis yelled, the sound piercing through the walls and resonating outside the motel room for others to hear the heated exchange.
"Oh, sorry, I'll just take it down the road to the mechanic, shall I?" Austin raised a quizzical eyebrow, smirking at his friend. The men paused their argument, exchanging laughter.
"Luis, what's going on with you?" Austin softened his tone, taking a seat on the other bed. "We've been friends since high school, grew up together, served in the army together. This isn't you."
"I don't know, man." Luis sat on the other bed, facing his friend, his face buried in his hands. He rubbed his face hard, threw his head back, and sighed heavily. "This just isn't—" he paused.
"Isn't what?"
"Isn't life." Luis gestured around the room.
"We'll get to the coast, find a boat, just like we planned." There was a slight taste of bitterness in the air, as if Austin's mild frustration was tangible.
"And then what?"
"Do the best we can," Austin stood up, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder, "we all have our dark moments, brother. You helped me get through mine, I'll help you get through yours."
Austin walked out of the motel room into the crisp morning air. The atmosphere was fresh, with a subtle scent of dew and grass. The sweet aroma of winter's imminent arrival filled the air, mingling with the faint scent of burning oil from their broken down van across the parking lot.
"Ben thinks he can fix the van by tomorrow. He found the parts we need on the other side of town." Val caught Austin as he had walked outside.
"He went scouting alone?" Austin looked across the lot at Ben, deep into the hood of the black church van they had found a while back.
Chantelle bounded up before she could answer; "Beth seems much better today. She's eatin' and drinkin' more. I think she could try walkin' today."
"Beth?" Val and Austin remarked in unison.
"Mmm, she speaks - she might have a lot more to say if either of you bothered to converse with her instead of just talkin' to her." She walked off towards Ben, a light air in her hopeful stride.
— — —
Austin found Beth sitting on the edge of her bed, her feet bare and dangling idly over the side. Her toes were curled, squeezing them tightly as she wiggled them back and forth. Her face was tense with concentration as she tried to alleviate the tingling sensation in her feet.
"Beth." His voice was soothing and calming, his words spoken with a gentle tone as he tried to ease Beth's discomfort.
"Chantelle?" She looked up at him, as he nodded, smiling gently. "She's a good kid." She smiled and looked back at her toes.
"Do you want to try walking today?" He walked towards the chair on the other side of the room and sat down as it creaked underneath the weight of him.
"The sooner I can walk, the sooner you can get out of here." She said with a sarcastic air, mocking Luis.
"The sooner we can get out of here." He repeated sarcastically with a smile, a light spread of jest washing over him as he joined her in mocking his friend.
"Your friend Luis seems to be very against bringing me along with you." She looked back at him.
"I'm not in the business of leaving people behind. Especially in Washington in the middle of October," he sat forward, leaning his elbows on his knees, "you wouldn't survive the winter."
"Then maybe you should have just left me to die." She turned her body to face him abruptly. He opened his mouth to speak, but she interjected before he could respond.
"Why did you help me? You don't know me, why did you even bother?"
"Like I said, Beth," he stood up, his wistful tone switching back to cold and dry, "I'm not in the business of leaving people behind." He walked over to her slowly.
"I've lost too many people. I've watched people kill others over a can of soup. I've seen friends leave friends behind to save themselves," he sat down on the end of her bed, "I don't leave people behind."
His brown eyes cut through his words like a thunderstorm. She looked at his face, tired and weathered from sleepless nights with one eye open to ensure his group's safety. She pegged him as their leader - strong and determined with clear military training.
"What happened to you?" She asked softly.
"What happened to you?" He countered; "I refuse to believe you survived a pandemic alone for six months in a foreign country."
She said nothing and looked back at her feet. They sat in silence for a while before he stood up and headed for the door.
"We're leaving the day after tomorrow. We need to head south before it's too cold, and we don't know how long the van or the car will last, so part of that might be on foot."
"I'll try walking today." Beth nodded obediently.
"I'll send Val and Chantelle in to help you." He replied, his voice maintaining the cold cadency.
"Thank you." She smiled, wriggling her toes as the numbness started to dissipate. Before he could leave, she looked up at him again.
"Austin?" He stopped at the door and turned to her. "I know you've all done a lot for me, including putting your friendship with Luis on the line, so thank you. But I have a favour to ask," her voice grew quiet, "before we leave."
"What is it?" He asked sternly at her audacity to ask for another favour.
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. He noticed her green eyes glisten with the added layer of acridity and the change in her demeanour; "before we leave, I need you to help me bury my husband."

So I (20F) have known this girl, let's call her Em (fake name, 20F), for a whole bunch of years.
To be precise, we actually first met when we were little, but neither of us remembers it.
My mom has been friends with my "aunt" (not biological) since they were in high-school. As they grew older, of course, their families expanded. My aunt had three kids, who would be my cousins. Her mom's side of the family is from a another country that shares borders with ours. Her brother, who lives in said country, had 5 kids, four girls and one boy. We're unrelated. They're my "cousins" actual cousins.
Most of my family (this aunt and cousins included) live in another part of my country, so when I was a kid I used to go over the summer and stay most of it there to see everyone. It seems that when we were kids, we all hung out once, there's even a picture to prove it, but again, no one bellow age 25 remembers that.
Well one of those summers, when I was 14, I went to visit and went over to my aunt's for dinner. That's when Em and I kind of really met, and boy do I remember that.
We all said our hellos, and we sat down at the table, she was sitting across me. All night we made small talk, and I really liked her.
I was always openly gay, never really had a "coming out of the closet", since no one in my family cares. They've always been supportive of me. Her family, though, it's a different story.
Her siblings are great, and they're also cool about that, but her parents (specially her mom) are catholics (if I remember correctly, her dad or one of their uncles is a preist) soooo yeah we weren't really openly flirting at the dinner table.
But then, us young ones went away to play cards. She was playing against me, 3 vs 3, only this time she was sitting almost beside me.
The stolen glances, the grazing of hands, the little smirks. I remember the way she looked at me, like she didn't understand what or why she was feeling something, but she knew she was. She found me attractive, but with the not-really-but-just-met situation and her parents, we just stuck with that. I only saw her once again that summer, same thing, only for a whole day. And then back in my hometown as they were passing through to go back to their country
We exchanged numbers, and when we talked she confessed she liked me, a lot, but didn't know what to do in that moment. It was new to her, though that didn't really bother her much. I remember she said something along the lines of "It’s like I was so mesmerized by you and at the same time so confused that I just froze, but I would've kissed you if we had seen each other again, and if it happens I will".
Well, six years passed.
With not really the space or time to establish a relationship, and living in two different countries at that age kind of made it impossible and of course, naturally, contact faded and every once in a while we'd talk again as if no time had passed.
Eventually, she got a boyfriend, I had a few relationships two. Long term and serious on both accounts, but we never not talked at least a couple times a year (respectfully, of course).
I guess I never really stopped liking her, but it was more of a distant thing than anything else. Every time we talked though, it was great. We would catch up, open up about things we would otherwise keep quiet, etc. It's like we always gravitated back to each other, both in thought and in speaking terms (on both accounts).
Some time later, when she finished high-school, she followed her older siblings footsteps and moved to a city near mine to attend college, that was around a year or two ago.
She broke off her relationship a few months back, I did so too.
And a few days ago, I replied to a story she had uploaded on her insta and, well, here comes the best part.
We started talking, catching up, and I can't really remember why but the conversation eventually led to me saying I found her pretty. She replied it was mutual. I'll try to recall the conversation below.
"Wait, do you still like me after all these years?"
"Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"I mean, we didn't see each other again, grew older and you even had a boyfriend, I thought maybe the feeling had passed for you"
"Yeah I mean I isolated myself a lot in that relationship, it sucked, but I never not liked you, nor forgot about you, it was just impossible"
"Well, it's not anymore. I still like you too, and I've been wanting this for years"
"So have I, I want to go see you"
I remember I told her that when I saw she had a boyfriend I didn't really wanna force or ruin anything cuz she seemed happy and I liked that, and she told me she would've left him in a heartbeat for me the second she'd known I still liked her.
We also talked about her family. She told me her mom actually found out about our little chat back in 2018 and got kind of mad, but Em told her to screw off and not go through her phone again, and that's the end of it. One of her sisters noticed then too, but just told her good for her and also never mentioned it again.
Then the same day I replied to her story, she was hanging out a while earlier with her older sister and a friend of theirs and eventually told them about me (her sister knew me, of course, but not how we actually felt about each other) since they were reminiscing about summers, told them she was still into me. That even after all those years I still caught her attention when I wandered my way into her head (and it's definitely mutual). She mentioned that although she had found other girls pretty, the only one that ever stuck out to her and really had her head-over-heels for, was me. I felt so flustered when she said that.
The rest of the conversation was one I'd never had with her. She told me she liked me, and what things. She thinks I'm pretty, she thinks I'm funny. Smart, talented, good. I honestly don't know if all of it is true but to hear her so talk about me that way, so starstruck, just like when we were 14, made my heart skip a beat. It was adorable. And then, well, it derailed into a more... uhm... mature conversation about plans we had for each other? If you get what I mean lol.
And that's where we are now. We're both having exams right now so we're planning to meet up next week when we're done.
IM SO EXCITED!
We miss each other, and we've wanted to hang out for ages. Not only that, but her now openness to be with me and enjoy it is so both refreshing and adorable. She calls me names, compliments me, tells me she wants me.
I never would've thought it would actually happen, not at least for a few more years. I also wouldn't have thought that shy girl I met would be so openly flirty with me, even on voice messages.
She's told me about a hundred times already how much she's wanted this, that's she's so glad it's gonna finally happen, that she's wondered what it's like to kiss me ever since she met me. That she wants all of me. Every last bit.
It's mutual, it's all mutual.
I feel giddy, excited, and I definitely feel wanted, and it's amazing.
Just wanted to rant about it and her, she's honestly amazing and beautiful. Kind, smart. Her accent drives me crazy and when she speaks her native language I literally feel weak.
Six years. Six years always thinking about each other (and many of those times it's like we mind-called each other beacuse we'd end up talking again). The girl I've had a crush on for the longest and never got, and we finally have the space, place and time to do it. This is it, it's our moment. And I definitely plan to enjoy every minute of it. She's worth it. So, so worth it.
Have a nice day everyone, Imma go talk to her lol bye

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting here and if my test truly means I'm pregnant then this would be my first pregnancy.
My period is in 5-6 days and l've been feeling really weird the past week or so. I ended up taking a first response, early result digital test and it popped positive, saying "yes+". I then took a rapid result test about 15-20 minutes later and it popped positive as well. My partner and I bought one more pack of early results tests, in which I took that one and it was positive as well.
My friend ended up taking me to the ER so I could get a blood test to see if there was HCG in my blood or if I had false positives.
The doctor argued with me and told me that tests can look positive once they sit out too long, he didn't seem to care when I told him it literally popped positive in front of my eyes. I saw both lines develop and I saw the yes pop up. He refused to give me a blood test and instead opted for a urine test, in which it came back negative. He was very rude to me and dismissive of all of my question.
My friend bought me another pack of tests since it didn't sit well with me that my tests were negative and they both were positive as well.
Am I crazy or am I actually pregnant? I'm not technically late yet but that's 5 positive tests today. I do plan to get it confirmed somehow but I don't have insurance and in order to get insurance in my state while pregnant, I have to have confirmation from a doctor.

More context. I have chihuahuas and love the breed. Her dog is around 8 years old. Reactive to people but that’s not a concern for me. Dog has allergies as well. I guess not my dream dog but she’s cute and if the owner fell ill, I would want to help rather than the dog be surrendered to a shelter. I live in a good area for shelters but I worry due to her age, medical condition, and nervousness.
My neighbor is mid 70s I believe. I have chatted with her only a couple of times. I know her husband passed a couple years ago. I don’t know if she has family around here that would take the dog. We have not exchanged numbers.
Thanks in advance :)

His ex sent me this message. Sorry it’s so long! Has anybody else gotten a similar message in the past? How did you react?
Message below: “It’s been over a year of me wondering whether I should just come out and ask you or message you… but being afraid that if I do, and I’m wrong, it’ll be a the biggest mistake of my life. I have begged and begged him to tell me what you are to him, and he denies having anything more than a platonic friendship with you.
I want to preface this message with, I have no ill will towards you, I just want some answers… answers I don’t believe I’m going to get from Jared. I don’t know if he’s mentioned anything about me. So here goes…
November 2022, I sent Jared an email, telling him I loved him, missed him, and though I didn’t require a response back, I wanted him to know how sorry I was for everything that had happened and things had ended. He responded with a lengthy email telling me he still fervently loved me and how he too was sorry for how things had ended. That email lead to the last year and a half of events.
December 2022, I drove down to Roanoke and surprised him at the Carilion garage. He left the hospital as fast as he could that night, and we spent the rest of that evening together, catching up, and he left for Key West two days later. Two weeks later, he came up to DC and we had a late birthday celebration for him at Clyde’s in Georgetown and went to see A Christmas Carol at the Ford Theater. A few weeks later we drove to Jersey to see Matchbox20, by now it was the end of January 2023. Almost every week off, for the last year, he would come up and see me, if even for only two days, or I would drive down to Roanoke and spend the week with him. We spoke about our past, the hurt, and future, he told me numerous times that when he pictured marriage and children, it was only with me, but he needed time. This part is important, and I’ll come back to it later. We celebrated my birthday at a restaurant in Navy Yard, two weeks before you guys left for London. Chris video chatted with that night while we were at the restaurant eating Wagyu, and they discussed the new shipment of sunglasses Chris had gotten for Miggieswear.
The weekend of the Super Bowl, he had come seen me earlier that week, the day after he left I came to Roanoke and left the day of the Super Bowl. He told me his parents were having a viewing party and he had to go home and cook. I’m now assuming he left my Airbnb and came to your place.
That February he planned a trip to London, with Nicole, Ryan and Chris, and what he told me were, Nicole’s “friends.” Nicole happened to post a picture of you guys sitting on the plane and I was shocked, why would Nicole’s friend be sitting between him and Ryan. I sent him a message while you were on that 6 hour flight, telling him that if he had been seeing somebody, then why didn’t he tell me? There was no point in us spending time together if he had moved on. His response to me was “do you even know what you’re looking at? I’m surprised you don’t recognize her, that’s Nicole’s friend. You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions right now and don’t know what you’re talking about.” Something in my gut didn’t believe it but I wanted to trust that, so I did. I put you out of sight, out of mind. When he got back, he told me how he wished I’d been there with him, we both love history and old buildings, it’s a place we would have found magical together. I don’t know who came up with the idea of going to London, but part of me always thinks I’m the one who put it there when I shared the pictures i had taken when I went there the year we had been no contact.
We went to a Kenny Chesney concert in Charlottesville that March when I got back from my family trip to India, and he got back from London. Between work, us both traveling with our families, we were excited to see one another. We were going to go to St Augustine, but because of the weather, we stayed in Roanoke and saw Kenny Chesney in Charlottesville. The original plan had been to spend the night in Charlottesville at a hotel, but we couldn’t get one last minute so we ended up driving back to Roanoke and sneaking into the basement at his parents house and sleeping in his bed at 3am.
A few months later, we went to Richmond, and stayed the weekend, exploring the city, and watched Hamilton at the Altria Theater. A few months after that, we went to Savannah and Atlanta, where he got a flat tire driving into the garage, and spent the rest of the weekend at a yoga retreat. July, he asked me to go to Boston with him and his brother, for 4th or July weekend, but I couldn’t because my siblings were in town. Every single week, he came down and either stayed with me, or made a quick trip to spend time with me…
This past September, I found out he took you to Justin’s wedding, and I broke. I needed more from him. I have known him, been intimate with him, shared my every fear, worry, I have brought him home cooked meals from DC and surprised him at work with dinner, I’ve made him care packages. I’ve made Ryan Easter baskets and sent him birthday presents and encouraged Jared to put him in academic classes, I’ve helped Jared look into private schools for Ryan, and weighed the pros and cons of the options. I had no expectations in return from him other than, at the very least, a mutual respect and HONESTY.
I’ve seen him quite a few times since September and I last saw him in Roanoke at the beginning of March 2024. We sat in front of each other, in his car before he went into work that Monday night, and he told me, again, that when he thinks of marriage and a future, I’m the only one he pictures a marriage and children with. I’m not saying this to hurt you, or to make a point, I’m saying it because i don’t know what to believe anymore.
I became suspicious of his relationship with you, when he mentioned going to Macchu Picchu and hiking through the mountains. As all women have the ability to find out details they might later regret, I did the same thing. Except I didn’t believe he had actually gone to Macchu Picchu. I knew his passport had been long expired since around or before COVID, and I knew he had renewed it before he went to London. But that was when I realized you were the girl in the photo that Nicole posted. When I confronted him about Macchu Picchu, he told me he had been joking and he had also already told me he’d been joking. He had NEVER told me it was a joke, he had actually refused to show me photos when I asked him for pictures from the trip… he had then proceeded to change the topic, which is what had even raised red flags in my head.
My point is, I have asked him point blank so many times whether you two have a relationship. You tell me you still love me, that you picture marriage and a family with me, but this girl is a part of your life, and you took her to a wedding with you, while I was on a trip with my siblings, you took her to London with you, and you continue to tell me she’s just a friend. I asked him again on Tuesday night/Wednesday Morning after he left work, if you two are dating, and he said no. He asked me why I’m so hyper-fixated on somebody who’s just a friend when he has a million other female friends.
In September, he told me he needed a month to clear his head, that he wanted to commit to me, but he was afraid and that he needed to get over the fear and roadblock of our past break up. I gave him grace and understood. So we took a 4 week break. Some time during that time period, he sent me a snap of doves, and said “doves, and swans mate for life.” He sent me Ed Sheeran songs telling me he wants to find his way back to me. “No Strings Attached… you are the one I love”
In November, he messaged me and told me he had a surprise for me and to look for something in the mail. He loves the Count of Monte Carlo, it’s one of his favorite movies, and he told me it was in reference to that. A few weeks later I got a candle, a silver 400 dollar Buddha candle from Thomson Ferrier. I didn’t understand the reference to the Count of Monte Carlo, but it was a beautiful gesture and present… especially because he knew how much little gestures from him mean to me.
Fast forward to January, I got another 350 dollar black skull candle from him, from Thomson Ferrier. At this point I was upset, angry and livid. I called my sister in tears that evening. I had come back to him because he told me he loved me, that he “has a fire that burns so deeply” when he thinks of me. If i had known that wasn’t true, i would have closed the chapter a year and a half ago. I don’t want $700 worth of gifts and candles, I want more. I want marriage, I want children, I want our lives to move forward, I want communication. Out of anger, I packed up the candle, his sweatshirts and clothes that he had left at my place this past year, and mailed them back to his house. I’m sure it’s sitting somewhere in his basement closet/ bedroom… along with his white Huq sweatshirt, a picture of us I had up in my house, and various articles of clothing.
What upsets me is that he didn’t just involve me this year, he involved my family. He sent my mom presents, my parents in return sent him gifts. My sister, parents and cousins messaged him asking him to come around more. There was no point in involving my family, if he was going to involve himself with you. There was no point in involving himself with me, if he was going to involve himself with you. Those leather Indian shoes sitting in his room, my dad bought those for him. That blue sweater, those green pants and that maroon shirt, my parents bought those for him just this last year.
I don’t know what he’s told you about me, but I will say this. I was your age when we started dating. I was 29 years old. He was single, that’s what everyone in our residency program thought. He would tell everyone how Shari left him one day, all of a sudden just got up and left. “I saw the look behind her eyes just change when she looked at me.” He would tell everyone his horrific dating stories. When i started dating him, there was no doubt in my mind he was single… but I was wrong. He wasn’t single, he was dating Devon, one of the nurses from Carilion, and he had been for the past 4 years prior to that. At one point when he moved to Norfolk, she had even moved in with him. Even Shari was visiting him in Norfolk during this time period. I would have never suspected it, nobody in our residency program did. It wasn’t until one day, when he told me his friends were visiting from home, and they were all going to a concert together, that I found out. Her profile picture was of the two of them together, and her Facebook relationship status said “in a relationship.” Out of my own naivety, i believed him when he told me she was crazy and obsessed with him. He told me, to him, they were just friends but she wanted more. Women do a lot of things, but no woman is dumb enough to think she’s your girlfriend when she’s not. When we moved back to our hometowns, Devon was there waiting for him. He disappeared one day for 24 hours, told me that he was helping his dad’s friend who was stranded in NC. A year and a half later, i would find out that was a lie and that he had been at a concert Florida Georgia Line concert with her. She had been visiting his grandmother with him, staying at his parents home. The irony is that a few weeks after he took her, he took me to the same concert in Scranton. Him and his family didn’t bat an eye when a month later, I showed up and was the “new girlfriend.”
Eventually Devon found out about his lies and left him, but again, stupid me thought she was a crazy girl who just wanted so badly to be with him, that she built their relationship up in her head.
Dignity, respect for humans, empathy, are the most important qualities in a human being.
What I don’t wish is for you to be in my spot in 5 years. He will paint you in his colors, make you fall in love with MB20, and take you to Augustana concerts, he’ll tell you that you understand him, and his heart in a way that nobody else does. He’ll bond with you over music, and send you songs that make you feel he’s talking about you. He is so good at making you feel seen, and involving you with his family. He’ll say he had a vision of a girl that looks like you, coming into his life, and here you are, his soul mate. And one day, the same way that Shari, Devon and I got lost in him, the reality of everything will come pouring down on you. Be careful, there are signs between the lines, and the smiles, and good times. Make sure you don’t miss those, whatever you decide.
My relationship with him, started off just like yours. Another girl on the periphery, and teetering the line of inappropriate. Everything you call him out on, will always have an excuse, and you will believe him because he’s the “good guy” who goes above and beyond for people.
I don’t wish for any woman to go through the pain I’ve gone through, the manipulation, the lies and the emotional abuse. I can’t tell you what to do, but I will say, be careful and don’t be blind to the small things that will one day become huge. The novelty will fade, and though Jared isn’t the devil, he has a lot of growing up to do at 40. It was not okay to toy with me and drag me through the mud this year. It wasn’t okay to minimize his relationship with you and lie to me about it. It’s not okay to, to this day claim to see a life with me and not commit to it. I deserve better, and you deserve better.
How men talk about their ex’s and other women is an indication about how they will one day talk about and treat you. That is the worst and best lesson i have learned. I’m 34, years of my life wasted, and he took another year of my life knowing full well, this is how it would end. He’s sat on the phone with me for hours talking about how stupid PA’s are and if you were going to not be a doctor, at least become an NP, who has better bedside knowledge. Why would he say that, because i suppose you’re a PA and it minimizes the significance of even having a relationship with somebody who isn’t as intelligent as he is. The lack of respect will always be there, you just have to look for it.
Dishonesty, and manipulation are a plague, and if that’s who you are at 40, it is who you will always be unless you recognize that something needs to change. Where there is no accountability, there can be no change. I’m not the exception, I’m the same as the two girls before me. He’ll show you text messages where he never responded to me, even though he replies on Snapchat where every thing is erased. I cannot believe i didn’t see the signs. He will make me look crazy and laugh at me, the same way he showed me messages from Jen, and Elisabeth, and Devon, and made them sound crazy to me. I guess that’s his MO. The same way he told me you were nothing to him.
I was going to send you this message, two months ago… i then decided not to because he convinced me he wasn’t dating you… I saw him less than a month ago in Roanoke, i begged him to tell me that he was in a relationship with you. He said he wasn’t, again, he told me he was going to a wedding alone with only Ryan and that he wasn’t taking you. I then begged him to tell me that we were done and that he didn’t love me anymore. His response was idk what’s going to happen a year from now, i know I’ll see you again. His response every time has been when im ready for a relationship, emotionally, do you want me to finally let you know? I don’t care to be with him anymore. I’m so over it but i really think you should know the type of person you’re dealing with.
He has put me through so much hell for a year and a half of my life, stringing me along acting like he’s doing me a favor while he works on his own mental health and claims to still love me when we are together.”
TLDR: my SO’s ex messaged me saying he’s been seeing both of us for the past year and a half. Has anybody experienced this before. She sent me pictures from the past year of them and their text exchanges

21, been contemplating suicide every single day for years and i dont know whats stopping me, i already know nobody here gonna care but i still need to post my thoughts somewhere. ive already got plans that i know wont fail (ig thats what happen when you think about something this long).
i havent spoken to anyone in months and i dont expect it to happen anytime soon, im a high school drop out cause of psychosis, been abused till sent to a hospital more times than i can remember and no one give a f, been forced to take antipsychotics, forced into psych wards ...
the only question here is whats stopping me but... ig i'll never know. im a coward thats for sure.
to anyone who read this shit thanks

TLDR: My "mother" is a vile evil woman who has stolen from my grandma and nephew, committed crimes and exploited people, had me working at 15 to support the family while she did nothing, and lied to me so I wouldn't see my grandma on Mother's Day. I have a long post on my full story on another subreddit on my profile if you want more context.
My "mother" is a vile, awful person who has committed heinous and despicable acts. To make an extremely long story short, I grew up in an unstable household. My dad wasn't around and my mom was unwilling to work to support us. I was pawned off to my grandparents who lived with us, and they were more parents to me than my actual parents were. Everything my mom has done has been to fuel her ego, and as with many narcissists, to seek validation to reinforce her nonexistent identity outside external validation. She needs validation constantly on how young and beautiful she looks, how rich and great she is, and how she is an excellent and caring mom. Yet a good mother wouldn't have had me and my siblings and grandparents living in a former drug house infested with millions of roaches, rats, black mold, and on again off again running water and electricity. A good mom also wouldn't have sat around having parties and drinking while I, at 15 years of age and two senior citizens, broke our backs trying to sell and rent party supplies and carrying an 800 lb bounce house to customers that wanted to rent them. I worked at 15 like a Victorian boy instead of going to school trying to make ends meet because my parents wouldn't. My "mother" has done everything evil you can think of, from scamming and stealing from innocent people, catfishing other men (while with my stepdad), pretending to be my sister online for validation and money, forcing my sister to be a model and hook up with much older men for the promise of advancement (she was 17 and these men where in there 30s or older), spies on my widowed sister-in-law, had me living in deplorable conditions and having me eat old food infested with roaches and rat droppings, conducting illegal gambling business and money laundering, kept the fact that (some of) my siblings are adopted from them, baby trapped my stepdad, had little to no concern for my mental health and did not help or try to accommodate my sensory issues (I suspect I may have level 1 autism, mostly with sensory issues) and much, much, much more. I have been going to therapy and am currently doing emdr to undo the damage that my evil "mother" has done. She is a master of manipulation, love bombing, and buying people's love, loyalty, and affection. I, for the second time, have gone no contact with her.
Now that there's some context, my grandmother means everything to me. She lives in a convalescent home and my mom has control over her. I wanted to see her on Mother's Day. My mom asked if I was going to come to lunch. I said we were visiting my wife's mom, then coming to the house later at 5. She said that was not going to work because they were going to eat at 1. I said, OK well, if we can't do the restaurant, then take her to the house, so we can all visit her at 5. She said she couldn't do that, and why couldn't we just go to eat with them and then, IF there's time, we could go to my mother-in-law's house for a little bit. I said no, everything has been arranged already, and as usual you don't inform anyone of plans and expect everyone last second to cancel theirs and do yours. We were going to make my mother-in-law a priority, however, there was time for both. She got mad and said she would not be bringing my grandma to the house and I guess that was it. I said, well, I guess it is. On Mother's Day, I called my grandma, and she was upset and crying, asking why I hadn't seen her, and that she had come to visit the house. My mom took her to the house after lunch and didn't tell me. Neither did any of my other family. She said that she wanted to come back home and didn't want to live at the facility. She is fairly healthy and in reality, doesn't need to be at the facility. After talking to her, I confronted my mom and said that I explicitly told you that I wanted to see Grandma, and you said you were NOT bringing her to the house. You did bring her to the house and intentionally did not tell me. Because I did not bow down and follow your commands like everyone else, you deliberately orchestrated this, so I would not see her in an act of revenge to spite me. There was no reason you couldn't have called or texted and told me you were bringing her, especially after I told you I wanted to see her, even if it was at the last minute. It was an intentional act. She just said you are always talking shit about me. I told her it's not talking shit if it's true. She then hung up. This is what she does. If you don't follow the Führers command, bow at her feet, and tell her how wonderful and gracious she is, she will seek vengeance and do things to spite you, to bring glory for herself.
My grandma told me that my "mom" mistreats her, and is collecting pay from the government pretending to be her caretaker (when in reality my mom does absolutely nothing and has no job whatsoever. She dedicates her life to crime, fraud, and scams. She ran an underground casino with my stepdad and when they got busted my stepdad took the fall) but instead dumped her in a conversant home and does not care for her at all. Besides all that, my grandma also stated that she takes all of her social security money and keeps it. This is not surprising because my nephew, who is technically an orphan, having lost both parents recently, is under the custody of my horrible "mother" and he had some kind of inheritance left for him. When my "mother" discovered this, she swept in and wiped it clean. Her greed is deplorable. Wherever there is money, the Sheriff of Nottingham will do anything to get every last coin wherever she can get it. She even charges people $5 to use the washing machine. The most important thing to my "mother" is herself and her endless black hole of needing to be validated and praised, along with the endless black hole of greed. It is her entire identity. I am so enraged, and I can not let these things happen. When will my "mother" face consequences for her actions? She cannot continue to commit evil acts and not only get away with them but also prosper because of it. One of the worst parts, however, is that everyone, even if they have their problems with her, always goes along with what the dear leader says and continues to enable her by telling her she's a good mom and that they appreciate her. She needs to face consequences for her actions, but I don't know what to do. She can't continue to harm people and get away with it. I need help.

So I (20F) have known this girl, let's call her Em (fake name, 20F), for a whole bunch of years.
To be precise, we actually first met when we were little, but neither of us remembers it.
My mom has been friends with my "aunt" (not biological) since they were in high-school. As they grew older, of course, their families expanded. My aunt had three kids, who would be my cousins. Her mom's side of the family is from a another country that shares borders with ours. Her brother, who lives in said country, had 5 kids, four girls and one boy. We're unrelated. They're my "cousins" actual cousins.
Most of my family (this aunt and cousins included) live in another part of my country, so when I was a kid I used to go over the summer and stay most of it there to see everyone. It seems that when we were kids, we all hung out once, there's even a picture to prove it, but again, no one bellow age 25 remembers that.
Well one of those summers, when I was 14, I went to visit and went over to my aunt's for dinner. That's when Em and I kind of really met, and boy do I remember that.
We all said our hellos, and we sat down at the table, she was sitting across me. All night we made small talk, and I really liked her.
I was always openly gay, never really had a "coming out of the closet", since no one in my family cares. They've always been supportive of me. Her family, though, it's a different story.
Her siblings are great, and they're also cool about that, but her parents (specially her mom) are catholics (if I remember correctly, her dad or one of their uncles is a preist) soooo yeah we weren't really openly flirting at the dinner table.
But then, us young ones went away to play cards. She was playing against me, 3 vs 3, only this time she was sitting almost beside me.
The stolen glances, the grazing of hands, the little smirks. I remember the way she looked at me, like she didn't understand what or why she was feeling something, but she knew she was. She found me attractive, but with the not-really-but-just-met situation and her parents, we just stuck with that. I only saw her once again that summer, same thing, only for a whole day. And then back in my hometown as they were passing through to go back to their country
We exchanged numbers, and when we talked she confessed she liked me, a lot, but didn't know what to do in that moment. It was new to her, though that didn't really bother her much. I remember she said something along the lines of "It’s like I was so mesmerized by you and at the same time so confused that I just froze, but I would've kissed you if we had seen each other again, and if it happens I will".
Well, six years passed.
With not really the space or time to establish a relationship, and living in two different countries at that age kind of made it impossible and of course, naturally, contact faded and every once in a while we'd talk again as if no time had passed.
Eventually, she got a boyfriend, I had a few relationships two. Long term and serious on both accounts, but we never not talked at least a couple times a year (respectfully, of course).
I guess I never really stopped liking her, but it was more of a distant thing than anything else. Every time we talked though, it was great. We would catch up, open up about things we would otherwise keep quiet, etc. It's like we always gravitated back to each other, both in thought and in speaking terms (on both accounts).
Some time later, when she finished high-school, she followed her older siblings footsteps and moved to a city near mine to attend college, that was around a year or two ago.
She broke off her relationship a few months back, I did so too.
And a few days ago, I replied to a story she had uploaded on her insta and, well, here comes the best part.
We started talking, catching up, and I can't really remember why but the conversation eventually led to me saying I found her pretty. She replied it was mutual. I'll try to recall the conversation below.
"Wait, do you still like me after all these years?"
"Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"I mean, we didn't see each other again, grew older and you even had a boyfriend, I thought maybe the feeling had passed for you"
"Yeah I mean I isolated myself a lot in that relationship, it sucked, but I never not liked you, nor forgot about you, it was just impossible"
"Well, it's not anymore. I still like you too, and I've been wanting this for years"
"So have I, I want to go see you"
I remember I told her that when I saw she had a boyfriend I didn't really wanna force or ruin anything cuz she seemed happy and I liked that, and she told me she would've left him in a heartbeat for me the second she'd known I still liked her.
We also talked about her family. She told me her mom actually found out about our little chat back in 2018 and got kind of mad, but Em told her to screw off and not go through her phone again, and that's the end of it. One of her sisters noticed then too, but just told her good for her and also never mentioned it again.
Then the same day I replied to her story, she was hanging out a while earlier with her older sister and a friend of theirs and eventually told them about me (her sister knew me, of course, but not how we actually felt about each other) since they were reminiscing about summers, told them she was still into me. That even after all those years I still caught her attention when I wandered my way into her head (and it's definitely mutual). She mentioned that although she had found other girls pretty, the only one that ever stuck out to her and really had her head-over-heels for, was me. I felt so flustered when she said that.
The rest of the conversation was one I'd never had with her. She told me she liked me, and what things. She thinks I'm pretty, she thinks I'm funny. Smart, talented, good. I honestly don't know if all of it is true but to hear her so talk about me that way, so starstruck, just like when we were 14, made my heart skip a beat. It was adorable. And then, well, it derailed into a more... uhm... mature conversation about plans we had for each other? If you get what I mean lol.
And that's where we are now. We're both having exams right now so we're planning to meet up next week when we're done.
IM SO EXCITED!
We miss each other, and we've wanted to hang out for ages. Not only that, but her now openness to be with me and enjoy it is so both refreshing and adorable. She calls me names, compliments me, tells me she wants me.
I never would've thought it would actually happen, not at least for a few more years. I also wouldn't have thought that shy girl I met would be so openly flirty with me, even on voice messages.
She's told me about a hundred times already how much she's wanted this, that's she's so glad it's gonna finally happen, that she's wondered what it's like to kiss me ever since she met me. That she wants all of me. Every last bit.
It's mutual, it's all mutual.
I feel giddy, excited, and I definitely feel wanted, and it's amazing.
Just wanted to rant about it and her, she's honestly amazing and beautiful. Kind, smart. Her accent drives me crazy and when she speaks her native language I literally feel weak.
Six years. Six years always thinking about each other (and many of those times it's like we mind-called each other beacuse we'd end up talking again). The girl I've had a crush on for the longest and never got, and we finally have the space, place and time to do it. This is it, it's our moment. And I definitely plan to enjoy every minute of it. She's worth it. So, so worth it.
Have a nice day everyone, Imma go talk to her lol bye

TLDR: My "mother" is a vile evil woman who has stolen from my grandma and nephew, committed crimes and exploited people, had me working at 15 to support the family while she did nothing, and lied to me so I wouldn't see my grandma on Mother's Day. I have a long post on my full story on another subreddit on my profile if you want more context.
My "mother" is a vile, awful person who has committed heinous and despicable acts. To make an extremely long story short, I grew up in an unstable household. My dad wasn't around and my mom was unwilling to work to support us. I was pawned off to my grandparents who lived with us, and they were more parents to me than my actual parents were. Everything my mom has done has been to fuel her ego, and as with many narcissists, to seek validation to reinforce her nonexistent identity outside external validation. She needs validation constantly on how young and beautiful she looks, how rich and great she is, and how she is an excellent and caring mom. Yet a good mother wouldn't have had me and my siblings and grandparents living in a former drug house infested with millions of roaches, rats, black mold, and on again off again running water and electricity. A good mom also wouldn't have sat around having parties and drinking while I, at 15 years of age and two senior citizens, broke our backs trying to sell and rent party supplies and carrying an 800 lb bounce house to customers that wanted to rent them. I worked at 15 like a Victorian boy instead of going to school trying to make ends meet because my parents wouldn't. My "mother" has done everything evil you can think of, from scamming and stealing from innocent people, catfishing other men (while with my stepdad), pretending to be my sister online for validation and money, forcing my sister to be a model and hook up with much older men for the promise of advancement (she was 17 and these men where in there 30s or older), spies on my widowed sister-in-law, had me living in deplorable conditions and having me eat old food infested with roaches and rat droppings, conducting illegal gambling business and money laundering, kept the fact that (some of) my siblings are adopted from them, baby trapped my stepdad, had little to no concern for my mental health and did not help or try to accommodate my sensory issues (I suspect I may have level 1 autism, mostly with sensory issues) and much, much, much more. I have been going to therapy and am currently doing emdr to undo the damage that my evil "mother" has done. She is a master of manipulation, love bombing, and buying people's love, loyalty, and affection. I, for the second time, have gone no contact with her.
Now that there's some context, my grandmother means everything to me. She lives in a convalescent home and my mom has control over her. I wanted to see her on Mother's Day. My mom asked if I was going to come to lunch. I said we were visiting my wife's mom, then coming to the house later at 5. She said that was not going to work because they were going to eat at 1. I said, OK well, if we can't do the restaurant, then take her to the house, so we can all visit her at 5. She said she couldn't do that, and why couldn't we just go to eat with them and then, IF there's time, we could go to my mother-in-law's house for a little bit. I said no, everything has been arranged already, and as usual you don't inform anyone of plans and expect everyone last second to cancel theirs and do yours. We were going to make my mother-in-law a priority, however, there was time for both. She got mad and said she would not be bringing my grandma to the house and I guess that was it. I said, well, I guess it is. On Mother's Day, I called my grandma, and she was upset and crying, asking why I hadn't seen her, and that she had come to visit the house. My mom took her to the house after lunch and didn't tell me. Neither did any of my other family. She said that she wanted to come back home and didn't want to live at the facility. She is fairly healthy and in reality, doesn't need to be at the facility. After talking to her, I confronted my mom and said that I explicitly told you that I wanted to see Grandma, and you said you were NOT bringing her to the house. You did bring her to the house and intentionally did not tell me. Because I did not bow down and follow your commands like everyone else, you deliberately orchestrated this, so I would not see her in an act of revenge to spite me. There was no reason you couldn't have called or texted and told me you were bringing her, especially after I told you I wanted to see her, even if it was at the last minute. It was an intentional act. She just said you are always talking shit about me. I told her it's not talking shit if it's true. She then hung up. This is what she does. If you don't follow the Führers command, bow at her feet, and tell her how wonderful and gracious she is, she will seek vengeance and do things to spite you, to bring glory for herself.
My grandma told me that my "mom" mistreats her, and is collecting pay from the government pretending to be her caretaker (when in reality my mom does absolutely nothing and has no job whatsoever. She dedicates her life to crime, fraud, and scams. She ran an underground casino with my stepdad and when they got busted my stepdad took the fall) but instead dumped her in a conversant home and does not care for her at all. Besides all that, my grandma also stated that she takes all of her social security money and keeps it. This is not surprising because my nephew, who is technically an orphan, having lost both parents recently, is under the custody of my horrible "mother" and he had some kind of inheritance left for him. When my "mother" discovered this, she swept in and wiped it clean. Her greed is deplorable. Wherever there is money, the Sheriff of Nottingham will do anything to get every last coin wherever she can get it. She even charges people $5 to use the washing machine. The most important thing to my "mother" is herself and her endless black hole of needing to be validated and praised, along with the endless black hole of greed. It is her entire identity. I am so enraged, and I can not let these things happen. When will my "mother" face consequences for her actions? She cannot continue to commit evil acts and not only get away with them but also prosper because of it. One of the worst parts, however, is that everyone, even if they have their problems with her, always goes along with what the dear leader says and continues to enable her by telling her she's a good mom and that they appreciate her. She needs to face consequences for her actions, but I don't know what to do. She can't continue to harm people and get away with it. I need help.

I finally published for the first time. Not the first time I've finished a novel, but certainly the first time I have actively published one .. one that I've been a little proud of. I know it's a long process to get noticed, or even start to see some traction in sales & downloads, but how do you go about promoting your novel? I feel like I'm stuck. 😕
Beginning of chapter one below - if anyone would like to provide feedback that would be lovely. 🙂
[2,310] It began like a surreal haze, a fever dream dancing with unknown figures swirling around her like a languid tornado, their movements seemingly slowed by some unseen force as she awoke to a world spinning out of her control. She found herself surrounded by strangers who moved like spectres in a dream, fragmented flashes who assaulted her consciousness - a woman gently pressing a cloth to her throbbing head, another offering sips of water while she coughed and struggled to swallow, a man peering down at her with a furrowed brow, and a mysterious figure lingering in the doorway with an unsettling glint of desire in his eyes.
The room buzzed with a quiet urgency as they hovered around her, their faces etched with concern and something else she couldn't quite place - an undercurrent of tension that seemed to pulse in time with her own racing heart. These disjointed images flitted in and out, creating a mosaic of fragmented reality. Awake, her body throbbed with pain; asleep, she plunged into a black abyss, time slipping away unnoticed. Each awakening brought the desire for oblivion as her mind plunged back into the depths of darkness.
Beth jolted upright, startled by the sharp bang of a car backfiring. A cry of pain escaped her lips as she attempted to sit up, her back and legs resisting her will. A woman, the same from her fleeting visions, hurried into the room with a damp cloth and a glass of water.
"Easy now," the woman spoke gently, her mild Spanish accent adding warmth to her sharp words as she pressed the cloth to Beth's forehead and helped her sit up, "you're weak, rushing won't do you any favours. The sooner you regain strength, the sooner you can move."
A man, the one with the odd expression in her visions, appeared in the doorway once again; "and the sooner we can leave this place, I'm sick of it." He grumbled, striding away with urgency and frustration. His steps were heavy and fraught with agitation, each one seeming to leave a deep imprint on the ground beneath him. His grumbling was like distant thunder, punctuated by the clenching of his jaw and the tightening of his fists.
"Don't mind my brother," the woman interjected sharply, "it's not you - he hates everyone." Hate, Beth pondered, wondering what she might have done to earn his disdain.
"Are you hungry?" The woman stood, walking to the other side of the room to adjust another pillow behind Beth's back. Beth nodded; "I'll get you some soup."
Left alone, Beth surveyed the room - beige walls, a shattered TV, torn brown curtains. She squinted at the notepad on the side table, revealing the branding - Mill Village Motel Eatonville. The coffee pod machine at the room's far end, covered in dust, hinted at a neglected past.
"You're awake," startled, Beth turned to find the man with the furrowed brow at the door - tall and dark, with piercing brown eyes, he appeared softer now, "how are you feeling?" Beth managed a brief smile before adjusting herself, wincing in pain. He rushed to offer a hand, and she took his arm to shift as he adjusted the pillow.
"Want to give walking a try?" The man's warm, brown eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled down at her, his features etched with concern, his furrowed brow now smooth and his brown eyes sparkled with an unfamiliar kindness.
She shook her head, and the woman returned with soup and water; "she needs to eat before attempting to walk, Austin," she said, setting the tray before Beth.
"Then we'll try again tomorrow," Austin expressed, heading towards the door, "the sooner we leave, the better - we've been here for too long." His footsteps echoed with determination and authority, less frustrated than the other man's but equally resolute.
"I apologise if it's cold. Heating options are limited here. Need a hand?" The woman offered. Beth shook her head, the pounding of her headache resonating through her body.
"Well I'll leave you to it then. Shout out if you need anything, if you can talk at all." Beth glanced down at her bowl of soup, parting her lips as if to speak, but no words escaped. A deep sigh escaped from the woman's mouth as she turned and left the room, leaving Beth alone with her cold, untouched meal. The silence in the room was deafening, broken only by the sound of muffed chatter outside.
The days stretched longer as Beth's need for rest diminished. Boredom and confusion settled in, intensifying as the people from her visions became tangible presences, moving in and out of her room. They attended to her needs but seldom engaged in conversation. At night, their muffled voices in the adjoining room became a distant comfort, and the faint echoes of their arguments a source of intrigue.
"We need to leave," a frustrated male voice pierced through the thin walls, "we have to head further south before winter traps us with little supplies and an extra mouth to feed - considering you're all so intent on keeping this girl alive."
"This woman," a familiar female voice retorted, likely the one who had been caring for her, "needed help - I distinctly remember a time when I wasn't doing well and needed it too."
"You're my sister, of course, I wasn't going to leave you behind."
"I'm not talking about you, Luis," she yelled, "I'm talking about before you came back from Minnesota and found me."
"Why can't we just leave her here with some supplies and a gun. Why do we need to bring her with us?"
"Jesus Christ Luis we're not leaving her here alone and you two can have it out later," intervened another man, "but Luis is right - we need to leave before the snow settles in."
The argument faded into muffled voices again, and Beth strained to catch the words exchanged between the trio. A knock at the door startled her.
"May I come in?" A young girl, the same from her visions, had opened the door quietly without her even noticing. "I thought the yelling might have woken you." Beth nodded, maintaining her silence.
"I'm Chantelle." Her soft Southern accent flowed like a gentle breeze through a cornfield. She pulled up a chair beside the bed. "Luis can get into it with everybody, but he means well. Well, no, that's a lie. I don't know why I said that. He's a dick."
"I gathered," Beth whispered and laughed a little, suddenly overtaken by a violent cough.
Chantelle rushed to hand her water; "so, you do speak. From the way Austin and Val were sayin' it, it sounded like you were mute. I thought, you couldn't be deaf because you've been nodding and smiling like a dang puppet."
Beth laughed and took another sip; "I didn't really have anything worth saying until now. No one has bothered to make conversation."
"Your accent, where are you from?" Chantelle sat down on the wooden chair, her long dark hair cascading down her back in gentle curls. Her bright brown eyes sparkled with kindness as she looked towards Beth.
"Australia," Beth paused, realising she hadn't thought about home for a while, "I'm from Australia," she repeated.
Chantelle pulled out a deck of cards; "well, I figured you might be bored and needed a little human interaction that didn't make you feel like you were in a hospital."
Beth's eyes lit up, and Chantelle smiled; "what do you want to play?"
— — —
"What do you think you are doing?" Austin stormed into the motel room.
"We're leaving. Today," Luis' words cut through the air.
"The van's still in bad shape, and we won't survive this winter on foot." Austin's arms were folded tightly across his chest, the muscles in his biceps and forearms bulging with tension. His jaw was clenched, and his brows furrowed in frustration.
"Then fix the damn van!" Luis yelled, the sound piercing through the walls and resonating outside the motel room for others to hear the heated exchange.
"Oh, sorry, I'll just take it down the road to the mechanic, shall I?" Austin raised a quizzical eyebrow, smirking at his friend. The men paused their argument, exchanging laughter.
"Luis, what's going on with you?" Austin softened his tone, taking a seat on the other bed. "We've been friends since high school, grew up together, served in the army together. This isn't you."
"I don't know, man." Luis sat on the other bed, facing his friend, his face buried in his hands. He rubbed his face hard, threw his head back, and sighed heavily. "This just isn't—" he paused.
"Isn't what?"
"Isn't life." Luis gestured around the room.
"We'll get to the coast, find a boat, just like we planned." There was a slight taste of bitterness in the air, as if Austin's mild frustration was tangible.
"And then what?"
"Do the best we can," Austin stood up, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder, "we all have our dark moments, brother. You helped me get through mine, I'll help you get through yours."
Austin walked out of the motel room into the crisp morning air. The atmosphere was fresh, with a subtle scent of dew and grass. The sweet aroma of winter's imminent arrival filled the air, mingling with the faint scent of burning oil from their broken down van across the parking lot.
"Ben thinks he can fix the van by tomorrow. He found the parts we need on the other side of town." Val caught Austin as he had walked outside.
"He went scouting alone?" Austin looked across the lot at Ben, deep into the hood of the black church van they had found a while back.
Chantelle bounded up before she could answer; "Beth seems much better today. She's eatin' and drinkin' more. I think she could try walkin' today."
"Beth?" Val and Austin remarked in unison.
"Mmm, she speaks - she might have a lot more to say if either of you bothered to converse with her instead of just talkin' to her." She walked off towards Ben, a light air in her hopeful stride.
— — —
Austin found Beth sitting on the edge of her bed, her feet bare and dangling idly over the side. Her toes were curled, squeezing them tightly as she wiggled them back and forth. Her face was tense with concentration as she tried to alleviate the tingling sensation in her feet.
"Beth." His voice was soothing and calming, his words spoken with a gentle tone as he tried to ease Beth's discomfort.
"Chantelle?" She looked up at him, as he nodded, smiling gently. "She's a good kid." She smiled and looked back at her toes.
"Do you want to try walking today?" He walked towards the chair on the other side of the room and sat down as it creaked underneath the weight of him.
"The sooner I can walk, the sooner you can get out of here." She said with a sarcastic air, mocking Luis.
"The sooner we can get out of here." He repeated sarcastically with a smile, a light spread of jest washing over him as he joined her in mocking his friend.
"Your friend Luis seems to be very against bringing me along with you." She looked back at him.
"I'm not in the business of leaving people behind. Especially in Washington in the middle of October," he sat forward, leaning his elbows on his knees, "you wouldn't survive the winter."
"Then maybe you should have just left me to die." She turned her body to face him abruptly. He opened his mouth to speak, but she interjected before he could respond.
"Why did you help me? You don't know me, why did you even bother?"
"Like I said, Beth," he stood up, his wistful tone switching back to cold and dry, "I'm not in the business of leaving people behind." He walked over to her slowly.
"I've lost too many people. I've watched people kill others over a can of soup. I've seen friends leave friends behind to save themselves," he sat down on the end of her bed, "I don't leave people behind."
His brown eyes cut through his words like a thunderstorm. She looked at his face, tired and weathered from sleepless nights with one eye open to ensure his group's safety. She pegged him as their leader - strong and determined with clear military training.
"What happened to you?" She asked softly.
"What happened to you?" He countered; "I refuse to believe you survived a pandemic alone for six months in a foreign country."
She said nothing and looked back at her feet. They sat in silence for a while before he stood up and headed for the door.
"We're leaving the day after tomorrow. We need to head south before it's too cold, and we don't know how long the van or the car will last, so part of that might be on foot."
"I'll try walking today." Beth nodded obediently.
"I'll send Val and Chantelle in to help you." He replied, his voice maintaining the cold cadency.
"Thank you." She smiled, wriggling her toes as the numbness started to dissipate. Before he could leave, she looked up at him again.
"Austin?" He stopped at the door and turned to her. "I know you've all done a lot for me, including putting your friendship with Luis on the line, so thank you. But I have a favour to ask," her voice grew quiet, "before we leave."
"What is it?" He asked sternly at her audacity to ask for another favour.
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. He noticed her green eyes glisten with the added layer of acridity and the change in her demeanour; "before we leave, I need you to help me bury my husband."

Ever since 2020 I've never made praying a daily habit due to unmotivation and depression.Every time I do get just enough motivation to actually pray the 5 daily prayers, the next day I just don't feel like it. I just go back to ground 0. Btw I'm not even over the age of 18. I'm 14 and struggling with mental health and deen. I have anxiety as well as a medical Syndrome called PCOS. Because of my mental health, I have been lazy Ever since 2020. I became isolated. I just don't know how to balance my life with Deen and Dunya. Every time I think I'm going to pray fajr, I look at the time for it and instantly give up. I know to not give up on Allah's mercy and to be patient in whatever Allah plans for me. But I just can't seem to even pray one Salah. It makes me feel sick and pathetic. I know I need a therapist n what not but for now, since ik I'm probably not getting a Muslim one in person any time soon, I know I need to fix myself on my own. I can ask support from my mom to help me pray consistently but neither does she even pray consistently. So I'm not even around anyone who's into the deen. Not even my friends. They're all non-Muslim. And the Muslim girls I see in school, don't even care about me. But, I figured out that if I'm around people who are practicing Muslims, I basically want to do the things they do. Like read quran daily, pray, visit the masjid etc.. So if anyone could, give me some suggestions or advice or just anything to help me get through this stage in my life. Because I don't want to be like this until the day I die. If you're a Muslim therapist or anyone who manages well with venting, please lmk and help me🙏 jzk💗

Ok,so my fiance and I are 5 months out from the wedding we'd always hoped for. We are very excited and have a very tight, for the most part healthy relationship. We communicate very well. I think our personalities compliment each other, being that I'm the introvert, organized, non risk taker and he's more the extrovert, a little messy, adventurous one. I keep him grounded and he has taught me how to loosen up. He has a 7 year old son, whom I've developed a very special relationship with. We are close and he comes to me when he tends to gravitate toward me. I love him very much.
For the time being, we are living in a house with his mother to save money for the wedding and a down payment on our own place. The arrangement helps my soon to be MIL, being that she couldn't afford the place on her own. I thought I'd develop a close relationship with his family. I don't have a lot of family and I'm grieving the loss of my oldest son, so I really could have gotten used to the support of a family. The problem is, his family members one by one have made horrible comments about our relationship, especially his mother. Things like "well he's just in love with being in love and I worry that he doesn't actually love you." And, "he's just obsessed with you until the next thing catches his eye." They all comment about him spending more time with me and his son and less time with them as well. He used to visit his grandmother every week/every other week and fix things in her house. I think that's sweet but what his family would use him for wasn't limited to him doing little things for Grandma around the house. It seems they are more upset that he's not doing for them anymore. He's a grown man of 33! Did they not think he'd find someone? It's like they're all surprised he's not entirely about them anymore and that's just bizarre to me. After hearing this narrative about how it MUST be ME because the changes coincided with us getting together, I decided I would no longer subject myself to their B.S. They don't care about our engagement and only his grandma has even asked to see my ring. No one talks about or asks about our wedding planning, yet they see things being delivered and hear us talking about plans, vendors, decor, etc. I told him I just don't want to go to his extended family's homes anymore. I still have to endure living with his mother for now, who obviously feels some type of way about her grown man son being grown. I'm exhausted. He just told me I'm breaking HIS heart by not going to visit his family. They broke MINE! Please tell me, am I the asshole here?

I'm in a complicated situation regarding my girlfriend and her father. My girlfriend has a serious chronic health issues best described as long covid. Her father has been largely absent in providing the care that she needs financially, emotionally and with administrative/life chores. I've stepped in to help and have been financially supporting her for several years. I've even stepped away from work for 6 months now because she needs 24/7 care. We are absolutely drowning.
Recently, I've had to call out her father for not stepping up to help, and a result of this is he has grown animosity towards me. My girlfriend and I need to leave our apartment because mold exposure is making her chronic conditions worse, and the only option available right now is for her to go to her father's because of financial reasons. However, her father has banned me from his house, and I play a crucial role as her caretaker. I can stay behind in the mold for now, I just need the ability to visit.
I'm gravely concerned that if anything were to happen to her while under my roof, her father might come after me with legal action, potentially suing me or even pressing criminal charges. He has a history of being lawsuit happy and has shown a tendency to pursue legal action in various trivial situations and straight up lying in these situations when he holds a grudge.
I often have to make judgement calls with things like medicines, hospitalizations, phone calls with insurance, and other things. There are no straight forward treatment plans with her conditions, and treatments often go off of feeling or strength that day, even for prescription medicine. What you have to understand with health issues like these is specialists are 6-9 month waits, and issues change hour by hour. We have no access for 24/7 consultation and I support her in her decision making process.
I'm not sure what this would constitute under the law or how to protect myself in my situation. I love her and want to give her everything she needs. Any advice or guidance on how to handle this delicate situation legally would be greatly appreciated.

Just an FYI- if y’all are looking for senior living for elderly family, don’t let the fancy exterior and location of Village Park fool you.
The staff for the most part, is amazing. But they are extremely overworked, wildly underpaid and very stressed. The corporate Gods are looking at maximizing profits and pushing ahead with a gigantic expansion, with zero plans to be able to adequately staff the facility, which is already struggling with the correct ratio.
The head of the whole organization is a member of the Alpharetta city council, Fergal Brady is his name I believe. Residents have been told that is they raise issues with the facility, or ask their adult children to intervene on their behalf, they could possibly jeopardize their lease. So it’s almost like an unspoken NDA with elderly and often ailing citizens of Alpharetta.
The system of senior care is sadly irrevocably broken, but Alpharetta citizens need to be aware when council members are directly involved.

I just realized you wanted me to leave the party that night because I was headed to cookout with Jake and the rest. And he had started asking questions about our relationship. I was surprised and annoyed (at you) when he asked me what was happening because I didn’t think it should be a secret to everyone except Kabeer that you’d asked me to marry you. Which is why I made you tell him. But immediately after that is when you physically dragged me down my street away from them. And made up some shit about being concerned for my safety because you didn’t think I could cross a road by myself which was bullshit. I had had like one beer and was the most sober person there.
You were hiding our relationship. Probably so you could keep me as a backup plan and look elsewhere, which you did.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you already were looking elsewhere, because I don’t know why he would’ve asked me what was going on between us and not you. He must’ve known something I didn’t.
You hid our relationship in so many ways, right in front of me. And I was too blind to see it.
You disgust me.
How dare you go to such great lengths to hide me from everyone in your life? When at the same time, promising to marry me, to start a family with me, to love me forever?
You sick fuck. You really said and did whatever it took.
God, I was so naive. And you knew that. And you still did me so dirty.
I really hate you for that.
But what goes around comes around I guess. Fidelity isn’t your strong suit. And in one way or another, now or down the line, it’ll come back to bite you in the ass. And I think deep down you know that. At present, I don’t think you’ll ever be capable of a successful marriage. Unless you do some real soul searching and take actual, large steps towards positive change. But I doubt you care enough to do that.
All you care about is sex. And you know it.

There’s this girl in my youth group she’s beautiful smart nice and we are friends. We get along well and have the same academic interests. But I don’t feel anything towards her.
My friends say she’s interested and I should go for it. I’m like nah, plus our families know each other and it would be messy and uncomfortable if things didn’t work out. And more importantly I just don’t feel that way for her. Ppl at my church a lowkey planning the weddin. But we are legit just friends.
I’m getting roasted cuz I don’t wanna have sex with her, and it must mean I go another way. Like who cares you can go for her do get mad cuz she likes talking to me

Just venting here. I’m newly diagnosed (last year) and I’m being treated by my primary care doctor. I like my doctor a lot and he listens to me and acknowledges my concerns. However, every time I visit for an in-person appointment, I get stuck seeing a PA or an NP for the majority of my appointment before my actual doctor comes in at the end for about 3 minutes max. I had an appointment today and was seen by a PA I’d never met before. She was clearly intelligent, but was very set in her ways and dismissive. She just wanted to get me done and out of there. She seemed skeptical that I had ADHD at all, asking who diagnosed me (literally the doctor she’s working with lol) and trying to connect my symptoms to other conditions. Being diagnosed and medicated was life changing for me, which my actual doctor saw firsthand. It nearly eliminated many of my other issues. When I brought up a symptom I was experiencing to this PA today, which is a pretty common and documented symptom that comes with ADHD, she chuckled and said that sounded more like a behavioral issue and that I should just stick to a routine. I did my best to explain that I believed it actually did relate to ADHD without insinuating that I knew more than she did. I wish I had just told her the name of the issue and that it was a legitimate symptom, but I’m socially anxious and felt very demeaned. She let up a bit when I started crying after we were discussing something else, but then went on to interrupt me when my doctor did come in to discuss.
I already hate going to the doctor and I’m terrified of confrontation. It took me a decade to even be honest about my issues and I still feel like I’m not fully open. I had another NP at one of my recent appointments and did not have a good experience with her at all either. It’s getting to the point where it’s almost becoming traumatic, and I’m more and more anxious about bringing up concerns at my appointments or asking for help.
The best part about of it is that the PA/NPs usually discuss an entire plan with me with back and forth for probably 20-30 minutes, and when my doctor comes in at the end he always has a completely different, better plan that he reached within 2 minutes of discussion with the PA/NP. It takes about 30 seconds to settle it with me. I get that this is how things are now, with providers trying to save as much money and get as many people in and out as possible, and my doctor is very popular and often runs late. But I feel like I’m paying for an appointment where I spend 90% of the time battling with people who are ill-informed and dismissive. I come out of it with less time and money and more emotional baggage.

My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had for breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.
"...umm "My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.

"...umm "

Part two of the noodle demon.
Now that this creature knelt before me I realized that the room I was in was so terrible quietly you could hear everyone's ass get tight in anticipation of what would happen next.
" ...what...are you. "
I spoke carefully to the being that had taken the shape of myself. It still took my breath away and my throat was dry.
The beast was a deep green. The color mixed with shades of grey streaming from it. The longer I looked at it I could see it getting closer to what I looked like shaping itself.
From small flowing green tendrils to an arm they grew as they twisted and made bone then muscle and finally skin.
It locked eyes with me and it smiled deeply at me. As it formed the face finally.
" Your vassle. "
My eyes had not moved to the crowd at all but even though the lights hit the stage so hard it was enveloped in smoke.
The creature's eyes glowed as it answered brightly, not figuratively. This thing's eyes were glowing.
"To serve you, We are bound by blood magic. I am a reflection of your desires, Master, " it said, its voice now a whisper in my mind.
It began to stand up as my grey suit began to form on it and by the time it stood fully up it had copied what I looked like.
" let me explain everything. "
My body frozen in fear woke up with adrenaline as I blinked and a flash of green smoke covered my vision as he teleported right to me face to face.
Its body turned to smoke and went into the slits of my eyes. I felt visions follow me in my peripheral vision but surprisingly no pain followed power filled me and it felt like one hell of a drug.
My body and mind altered.
I was now in a very dark place with no walls or light except my reflection on the floor which waved like water.
I took a step back looking around and back to the reflection of me on the ground.
Soon the water rippled and my reflection fell through the floor like gravity was inverted. he flew upright and water fell off of him as he looked at me as he now stood straight ahead of me. He was just reflecting in the water but now eyed me down.
Collecting my nerves.
I begin to speak.
" what do you want..."
He was still in my form and stood perfectly straight. Now with water dripping from his...my hair.
Slight stubble with hair that hung down and my hazel eyes were not present within him but I was greeted with a swelling acidic green that doubled the size of my pupil.
" to serve you. "
He made no other movement than putting his hands behind his back like a soldier at ease.
I could not tell if it was lying or not.
" ...is that it? "
" I am the embodiment of your fear desires and brilliance. You have shaped me. Your desire for solitude birthed me. I will aid you in shaping the world how you see fit. Your reality becomes mine. "
There was a slight echo in the room as he spoke.
" wait...where are we "
I questioned haphazardly
" your mind. "
An awkward silence was in the air until I spoke
" so...am I just standing on the stage not making a sound? "
He gave me a concerned look.
" no...time has frozen outside for you. You may sleep here without having to in the real world so to others you look as if you never rest and you may think and plan what to do in battle here. For them, it will be about two seconds...Do...do you not have any knowledge of what I am? "
Suddenly I felt bad like I had encountered someone famous and I had no idea who they were. A slap in the face like a popular kid meeting someone who had never heard of them. Ego shattered.
" ok sorry no. I...don't go around reading about...monsters?"
I felt like was I saying the n-word of the demon realm not knowing if that word was offensive.
He folded his arms a little upset.
"Are you not a warrior? "
" well...no I...just watch TV and cook here and there- "
The demon cut me off
" weak. "
" excuse me? "
" look. I am an immortal being and after a while you get bored. So I'm sorry if I may be a little upset after being bonded with some nobody. "
I got quiet and I was a little annoyed that I was being roasted by some demon that I just met.
Its form wavers and eyes begin to open on its skin. Cheeks forhead etc.
"After being a god for so long it's fun to play with limitations. Makes things extremely exciting. "
" what do you mean by that? "
" look. You can only be so entertained by the same things. Life gets boring and now...you are going to help me with this. I get to have pure entertainment while you get every wish you could ever want. A mutual bond no? "
He then closed his eyes annoyed and the other eyes meshed back to his skin.
" though... the TV is not that interesting...life is what gets the blood pumping"
I felt the need to quickly change the topic
"Are there others like you? "
The room began to take shape very slowly as the water floor turned to wood and walls went around us.
" of course. You may meet them one day "
Confused and curious I pressed.
"Meet them? "
" yes. Summoning one of us is considered a threat to them. "
He spoke while opening and closing his newly found hand except backward.
" hm...no that don't look right "
I quickly responded
" Wait! How is doing that a threat! "
"Well, one doesn't just accidentally Summon one of us to suddenly get powers beyond human control. "
I thought back to how I summoned him by accident with some food I made.
" well...funny story but I summoned you using my breakfast..."
I had never regretted speaking so much as in that moment.
" What... "
Acid dripped from his words. Literally. His pupils split in half and his bottom jaw ripped open like an ant and curved giving sharpness to the bone.
"Please don't kill me. "
The room began to look like a cozy cabin with a fireplace and he slowly went back to normal.
" I would if I could. I've never felt so disrespected. We are bonded by your blood. If you die...I die. "
Suddenly I felt at ease by this new information.
Then a thought came to my mind
" ...God's can die? "
" you did hear me, right? "
The SAS from this guy was unneeded and I was starting to miss him being on his knees as weird as that sounds.
" so...all that power gone.... in an instant... "
" well...no actually God's powers don't just disappear they transfer to whoever killed them...wait...hold up."
He suddenly had an epiphany.
A smile grew on his face and he grabbed my shoulders
" you! You are going to help me kill the other gods! "
He sounded proud but I let him down.
" ha! No. "
" oh come on! Don't be like that. "
He did a pout.
"Look, man. I'm not killing gods for you. Just because you are bored. "
" hey...they might send people to kill you because you bonded with me. "
"What did I ever do to them? "
"They have a system to this stuff. They like to build and watch things play out. You're a problem. That can mess it up. So...they kill ya...to be honest, I don't know any other way to explain it, man. You know people normally just use my power to kill people and become a king and know this already. "
"This is outrageous. "
" bro. Look if you do this I will be able to get their powers and you will be able to do so much more than what I offer "
I tilted my head
" what can you do? Know what never mind. I will just talk to them and figure things out. "
He groaned and his form melted down sagging and it shot back up reforming
"Is there not anything that you want? Anything in the world? Gods don't put themselves in physical forms. They give people power and can make beings to hunt you. And if they care enough to come down themself. Ha, good luck."
I stopped and thought about it trying to weigh the options of pissing off higher beings.
Suddenly. I found something.
"Can you bring back the dead..."
He stopped confused.
" well...no "
" then I don't want anything "
" wait! "
He threw his arms out pleading
"I don't...but another God does..."
He crosses his arms smiling. He had left the question hanging letting me reconsider his offer.
I stopped and thought for a while before looking back up to him.
I let out a sigh and looked him in the eyes
" ok...you are going to help me get my father back. "
The demon smirked.

I'm on my 3rd case of burn out working for another IT provider. After another weekend of worrying about things beyond my control, losing sleep about tickets, something finally hit me. I'm making peanuts, stressing out about these little issues that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things while the company owner (my boss) drives a 7 series and owns a beach front vacation property. I've been spending so much time worrying about getting fired for lack of performance and it leads me to work harder; desperately looking for solutions to problems that I should be escalating to others with a higher pay grade. If nobody answers my emails and the solution gets delayed, the customer gets upset...who cares ? I've been in this industry 10 miserable years and despite how hard I work, how many big problems I solve on my own, nothing ever comes of it other than a "great job to so-and-so!" company wide e-mail. Now I'm suddenly realizing that I don't want to seek recognition or a pat on the back. I want to do the bare minimum, collect a check and look for something better. During my previous burnouts, I would spend days planning out in my head a plan to quit or "just keep doing my best and apply for something better." but that always lead me to continue killing myself with stress over tickets and not putting enough time into studying/labbing and sprucing up my resume properly for a truly better, higher paying position.
I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize it but everyone here was right, it really is just a matter of perspective. Quiet quitting isn't a shameful, lazy approach. It's 100% absolutely necessary in this economy and work culture. Doing the bare minimum and letting go of any fear of being fired over lack of performance, while putting your energy into developing yourself, keeping yourself healthy and interviewing for different jobs IS THE WAY TO GO. I feel so foolish letting myself get worked up into this state of burn out again when it's totally unnecessary.
I'm no longer afraid of the confrontation about performance. I'm gonna hit em with that "I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm trying my best" until I either line up something better or they fire me so I can collect that sweet, sweet unemployment and take my time to regroup and find a job that doesn't make me want to throw my laptop out the window. There's no shame anymore and there was never any reason to feel any shame. I've worked hard for peanuts my whole life, now it's time to put in the level of work this pay deserves. I used to think this sub was full of lazy shitters but I now realize how wrong I've been.