I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/WholePomegranate5342
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
My Parents Tried to Screw Over My Dying StepMother, Blew Up All Of Our Lives Instead
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, imminent death, terminal illness, financial exploitation, physical assault, emotional abuse and manipulation
Original Post: February 13, 2024
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My (17F) stepmother "Jane" is a wonderful, wonderful woman. She and my father got married when I was 4, and she's been a rock in my life ever since. My mother was always my primary caregiver, but up until that point her relationship with my father was acrimonious and I basically never saw him. Jane was the reason they developed a stable co-parenting relationship, she encouraged everyone having a good relationship with each other and was always there to support me and my mom when things got rough.
Jane was always a really hard worker. When she met my dad, he was living out of a hotel and my mother was doing everything in her power to keep me away from him because she was petty and angry that their relationship didn't work out. Meanwhile Jane had a great job, a nice house, helped my dad get back on his feet, negotiated a visitation schedule with my mom (who hated her for a long time), and made sure my dad sent us money every week because neither one of them could afford an attorney to negotiate child support payments. Jane had no reason to do any of these things but as I got older she made it clear that she loved me as much as she loved my (half) brothers who were born a few years later. I even have my own room in her house because at the time we lived with my grandparents / various boyfriends of my mom and Jane felt that I needed a more stable environment than that. She's like the opposite of the evil stepmom.
When I was 15, Jane won a big lawsuit against an airline company and got awarded upwards of a million dollars. She used the money to build sizable trust funds for me and my brothers so that we would be taken care of later in life. Despite having a lot more money she still wanted to live a fairly modest life, so she paid off the house she has and has been living there ever since with my dad. Sure she bought a new car and they went on a few nice vacations but she didn't blow all her money on stupid things, which I respected.
About a year ago, things started getting really weird. Whenever I saw Jane she seemed to look sicker and sicker, but no one would tell me or my brothers why even though I know they knew. All we knew is that she was at the hospital a lot. Around the same time, my mom has been coming around my dad a lot more and acting really strange, basically like she was trying to romance him. Whenever Jane was in the hospital my mother would insist on spending the night at their house and playing mom to my brothers, which was so weird to me because she never liked them or Jane. She'd be the perfect little housewife and my mom is NOT like that at all. It was super fake.
Worst of all, my dad started falling for it. I'm not stupid - I'm pretty sure they were sleeping together. I tried to shield my brothers from it but they're not dumb either. I tried talking to my dad too but he insisted it wasn't like that.
Then a few weeks ago, my mom started talking about all the places she'd like to visit, how she wanted a new car and was looking to invest... which is weird because my mom has been a bartender her whole life and has lived paycheck to paycheck since before I was born. She was acting like she was about to get a lot of money, which started to make me really suspicious. Between Jane being sick and my mom acting all nouveau riche, I had a lot of questions.
Finally I decided to visit Jane in the hospital and ask her about my trust fund. I found out that if anything happened to her, that my dad would inherit all the money including full control of the trusts for me and my brothers. She asked me why I was so interested in the trust fund so I told her what's going on with my parents and how my mom has been acting with my dad. I didn't want to but after everything she did for me, she deserved the truth. It really hurt me to break her heart like that, especially once I found out that she was basically in hospice at this point because of irreversible kidney failure. She's only got a few more months. We both cried so much.
Then, two days ago everything came to a head. My mom stormed in furious and started arguing with my dad. Apparently Jane met with her lawyer and changed the trust so that my dad would get nothing and all of the trusts would be controlled by my step-aunt. She demanded to know how Jane found out about their relationship and I came out and told them that I told Jane everything. I told them that if they wanted to play stupid games they would win stupid prizes and that I wasn't going to let them screw Jane over after all the help she gave my family when she didn't have to.
My mom slapped me and my dad just looked so defeated. Then my mom told my dad that she didn't really love him, that she was just pretending to so he would marry her and she could get all of the money. The worst part about it is that my brothers witnessed the whole thing and now on top of their mom dying they have to deal with a cheating dad and his vindictive ex. Our whole family is in ruins and I feel like it's my fault even though I know it's not.
Yesterday I visited Jane again and told her about the fallout. She apologized and said that she had to dissolve my trust fund to make sure my mother didn't get a hold of the money, but that as "her oldest" I will inherit the house/property after she is gone and that's worth more than the other two trust funds combined. My father won't get anything because she's going to divorce him before she dies, and honestly I'm happy for her. She made me promise to take care of my brothers and told me that once I turn 18 this summer I can kick my dad out of the house if I want to. And I FULLY plan to do that btw.
I haven't talked to my dad since and I can't even look at my mom. I can't believe they would conspire to do this to Jane after all this time. Just proof that they deserve each other and I'm embarrassed that they're my parents. Once I turn 18 I'm going to cut my dad out as much as I can and cut my mom out completely. I hope she rots. Meanwhile I'm going to try and be at the hospital as much as I can until Jane passes away.
Anyways. I just needed to vent. I'm really messed up about the whole thing and I feel super betrayed, although I can't even begin to imagine how Jane feels. I'm gonna be so f-ed up when she dies. I can't even think about that right now. But at least she's not surrounded by people who just want to bring her down.
Thanks for reading.
Edit: Some people are asking a lot of the same stuff so I'll just clarify here --
My brothers - My plan is to use some of the estate money fight for guardianship for my twin brothers so that they can live in the house while I kick my dad out. If I can't get guardianship then I will have to let my dad stay in the house. However once I turn 18 I will technically be an adult so even if my dad leaves I'm still legally able to be responsible for them. The only thing I won't be able to do is stop him from taking them if he leaves. But they will be 18 in six years so even if they do have to leave they will always be able to come back whenever they want. In a perfect world my dad would just leave and let my brothers stay with me which I'm sure my bio-mom would be very supportive of because right now she hates all of us and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
The trust - from what I understand, my brothers will inherit 1/3 each of the estate and the remaining 1/3 will be used to keep the house running until they turn 18. After that it will be up to me if I want to keep the house or sell it. At that point my brothers will still have money left in the trust so they can branch out or do whatever they want, otherwise I will not sell the house and just pass it on to them or keep it and maintain it myself and they can just stay with me as long as they need to.
(Edit to the edit) So I just spoke to Jane and she told me that the reason she dissolved the trust is because originally it was going to be split 3x between us kids and my dad would inherit the house. She dissolved my 3rd and switched it over to make it to take care of the house maintenance, and instead put the house in my name so my dad wouldn't get it. Plus by doing that at least financially I would be getting a much bigger share (the house is worth about 1.5x the amount of my brothers trusts) I just wouldn't be able to do anything with it until my brothers are 18, which I'm totally cool with. Sorry if I don't have a better answer but I'm just trying to translate what she told me.
My parents - The big fight happened on Sunday and I haven't spoken to either of my parents since, I think they're both at my mom's place right now but that's fine with us because we're all still mad at them so they can stay gone for all we care. I know technically that's not legal to just leave us alone but I've been taking care of my brothers for over a year I can handle a few days while he gets his shit together. Screw both of them.
Hope that clears some stuff up.
TLDR; My bio parents tried to screw my terminally ill stepmother out of trust fund money, but she caught on and now no one on my side of the family gets anything.
Additional Information from OOP on her parents, stepmom’s health, trust funds

OOP: (Why isn't Jane on dialysis) - I don't remember the exact details but Jane has a genetic condition where she gets cysts on her kidney. She already had a transplant a few years ago but now she developed problems with her arteries or something in her legs so she doesn't qualify for dialysis. She could get another transplant but she doesn't want to because the last time was so traumatic (rejections, etc). So she decided to just let herself go onto maintenance medications to prolong her death until she gets her affairs in order. She has a few other health problems that make the typical treatments really dangerous and according to her she'd rather die surrounded by loved ones than on an operating table.
(Dissolving the trust fund) - Jane told me she didn't technically have to do it, but she didn't trust my bio parents not to do something shady and get a hold of the money before I turn 18. Even if my aunt controlled the fund my dad would still be able to collect if something happened to Jane before I turn 18. Her lawyer suggested it's better safe than sorry and I agreed that it was the best option. I'm not an expert tho I don't know the details.
(How my mom knew) - Like I said before I'm pretty sure Jane told my dad, who then told my mom and that's how the argument started. I can't think of any other way and I didn't really care enough to ask.
(Jane's thoughts on my mom) - she didn't know my mom was doing all of that. My mom has her own place and would only come over whenever Jane was in the hospital for a few days at a time. I've been living with my dad for a little over a year so he probably told Jane that my mom was there to spend time with me, if he told her at all. Besides she didn't "move in" until a few months ago, which I guess is when they started hatching their plan. Jane never outright banned my mom from visiting so there really wasn't anything she could do.
Hope that helps.
Edit for the last part: The remainder of the money belonging to the estate that hasn't been put into trusts for my brothers is going to be used to maintain the house (utilities, taxes, etc) until my brothers are 18 and then I can either choose to sell the house or keep it and maintain it myself if I'm able to. I plan to go to school in that time and get a better job with the goal of keeping the house, but if I can't then I have the option to sell it. Not that I will but that's how it was explained to me.

OOP on her stepmom and their relationship, provides thoughts on her bio mom

OOP: Honestly it's because she's more of a "real" mom than my actual mom.
My bio mom is kind of ambiguous about my existence but Jane was always extra involved, sending me to sports teams and paying for dance classes and just showing interest in my hobbies as I got older. Plus as the only girl I think we bonded on a level she can't with my brothers so she always made sure to let me know I was on equal terms with them. When I was younger we would watch movies and have girl time where it was just us 1:1 and those are some of my best memories with her.
Jane is also really mature and someone I wanna be like when I get older whereas it feels like my mom is a teenager in an adult's body. She was constantly picking fights with my dad about dumb things and Jane was always there to smooth things over and keep my best interest at heart over her own feelings. I know my mom made Jane's life really difficult for a long time but Jane never complained or said anything to me about it whereas my mom CONSTANTLY complained about Jane. As I got older I just always felt more at peace when I was around Jane than when I was around my mom.
If you want your step kids to love you just be there for them and treat them like your own. Ignore whatever drama you have with your husbands ex and just love your kids. Trust me if you really care about them they will know.

Relevant Comments
mattdvs1979: My only advice is make sure you work with a lawyer once she passes so you get your inheritance and your parents can’t try to intervene, and then you keep your promise to use that money for you and your brothers’ welfare.

OOP: Oh absolutely, Jane already gave me the lawyer's info and between him and my step-aunt I'm sure I will be able to do what I need to do for them. I don't even care about the money, most people don't have trust funds and turn out just fine. I'm actually more glad that she gave me the house because you can be damn sure it's going to be a safe space for my brothers whether I end up getting custody of them or not. My brothers are basically Jane's legacy so my goal is to give them the life and guidance that I got from her, and that they won't get because she'll be gone.

OOP on the relationship between her father and her stepmom before they got exposed

OOP: Honestly it hurts a lot because before Jane got sick they seemed to have the perfect relationship. Until my birthgiver (I like that) came in and fucked everything up with her toxic personality. Honestly in a perfect world my mom will end up broke and alone and in a shitty nursing home with bed sores. And when she calls me and begs me for a relationship (because she needs the attention) it'll feel so good to hang up on her over and over again.

OOP on Jane (stepmom)’s health and if Jane is mentally okay on the whole situation

OOP: I think so. Apparently it's a genetic disease so she always knew she was going to get sick she just didn't know when so mentally I think she was prepared for it. I just hope that she can find peace knowing the truth and knowing that I'll be there to make sure her sons don't grow up all fucked up.

OOP on her brothers getting therapy to deal with their mom/step-mom’s health and her imminent death

OOP: Yeah. I've already sat them down and talked to them about what's going on, they seem to understand but they're understandably really sad about the whole thing. I told them that when they go to school they should ask about a grief counselor and I'm trying to get their health insurance info from Jane so I can find them a therapist for kids. As much as all of this sucks I think it's brought the three of us a lot closer together.
Thanks a lot. I really love my brothers and I know it's my job to take care of them properly now that they won't have a mom around. Jane did so much to raise me and my brothers won't have the opportunity so it's only right that I help them.
Since finding all of this out my plan has always been to have my brothers live with me, I'm already in charge of taking care of them and the house for the most part the only thing my dad does is help pay the bills. Unfortunately I won't be able to kick my dad out as long as he's their legal guardian which is why I'm trying to find some other solution to that. But if/when that gets resolved he can live under a bridge for all I care.

 
Update: May 8, 2024 (3 months later)
Please check my profile for my previous post. :)
Hi guys it’s me again, a lot of you asked me for an update on my situation with Jane and my family so I’ve come back with a few things that have happened since I initially posted. I will try to organize this in a way that addresses the major points of last time.
Jane is still alive and doing surprisingly well considering the circumstances. She’s always been a fighter and although her disease has been progressing she’s keeping a positive attitude with everything that is going on. She says she’s grateful that she was able to see everyone’s true colors before she passed so she could go into the next life knowing the truth. We have become so unbelievably close in the past few months and it’s getting harder and harder to know that she’s getting close to the end. She doesn’t ever talk about it though and I know it’s because she doesn’t want to hurt me but we both know the situation so we’re just making the best of our time. I'm also not being completely transparent about all of the drama at home but tbh I don't think she needs to hear all of that.
We did end up having that surprise celebration of life that I planned, a lot more people showed up than I thought but they all got an airbnb near the hospital where Jane is and we were able to take her out and spend some time at the lake near the facility. It was super lowkey which I know Jane preferred and I was even able to get her old college friend to come after I found him on Linkedin lol. We had food and there was music and we played games and it was overall a really great time, except Jane started crying at the end but she promised me it was just because she was grateful.
My brothers are also doing okay, my aunt (Jane's sister) is currently paying for them to go to therapy and they've become a lot more open about talking about the situation. They just turned 13 but a lot of the time it feels like I'm talking to actual adults lol. They've become really independent lately (in a good way) and aside from me driving them places I don't really have to do much for them anymore. Their grades aren't super great but they're not failing and considering the circumstances it could be a lot worse. They still hang out with friends and I'm keeping an eye out for like depression symptoms and stuff.
The situation with my mom is as funny as it is embarrassing tbh. She spent a few weeks ignoring us and then she tried to crawl back into my life basically begging me to let her move in because her lease is about to expire and she has nowhere to go. That convo went about as well as you'd think and she ended up calling me an ungrateful b**** and that I couldn't just ignore her because she's my mom. I told her to get out of the house before I call the cops and to go back to my dad (who at that point was only coming home every few days to "check on us" and grab some clothes.)
After that she tried coming by a few times and when I wouldn't open the door she would lose her mind and start yelling through the neighborhood. After three instances of this I finally called the cops but because I'm 17 they told me there's a possibility that I would have to go home with her since technically I'm a minor and need to be with the custodial parent. I told them no way because I was the only one watching my brothers atm. That led to a whole thing where after a few hours my dad basically showed up and I was allowed to stay there because there was finally an adult present and I'd basically lived there for over a year.
After that the cops firmly told my mom that if she keeps showing up and causing drama (my neighbors confirmed that she'd been there a few times screaming) that they would arrest her for trespassing since technically it was Jane's house and not hers. She left and hasn't tried coming to the house anymore but for a while she would call me constantly telling me I owed her and all kinds of stuff. She's now blocked on everything and anything she needs to say to me gets filtered through my dad.
As for my dad... well, since he's basically required to be here for another 2 months until I turn 18 we've basically just avoided each other. It's not too bad though because I've been heavily relying on guilting him for everything to get my way. For example he was going to contest the divorce but I threatened to kick him out when I turn 18 if he does that so he just signed all the paperwork for a "quickie divorce" and is basically doing whatever Jane tells him to do. I don't openly disrespect him or anything (he's still my dad) but I've made it clear that I have no intentions on doing anything he says ever again and he doesn't fight me on it. Most of the time he's just in his room and sometimes he'll go back to my mom's but only for a day or two before they argue and she kicks him out again lol. I haven't decided whether or not I'll kick him out yet and we haven't talked about it either so I'm kind of playing it by ear.
As for me, I'm handling everything as good as I can. I found a new job where I make a little more money so I've been focusing on saving as much as I can and just being there for my brothers. Between working and school and visiting Jane I've been so busy I haven't really had time to really stop and think about everything, but I know it'll come. One of my friends has really stepped up and helped me manage everything and I'm super grateful to him for being there for me and my brothers so we'll see how that goes.
Anyways I wish I had something more exciting to share but that's what's happened since my last post :) Thanks again for all the support on my last post.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the possibility of her stepmom being poisoned from her parents to get Jane’s money

OOP: Hi there,
A few people have mentioned this and yes we are absolutely certain she is not being poisoned, it’s a genetic disease causing her kidney failure and we have known about it for a long time but she shielded us from the worst of it hence why her “sudden” decline in health was such a shock to us, we thought she had more time.
My brothers have also been screened for this disease and thankfully neither of them have it.
Edit to add: I’m turning 18 in a few weeks so I don’t need to get emancipated and my dad has already agreed that my brothers will stay in the house with me because they have nowhere else to go.

OOP on Jane making video clips for her brothers

OOP: Yes actually a few people suggested this on my last post and we have been doing this for a few weeks now. Jane has a little digital recorder that she’s been putting her thoughts down on and she’s also written a few letters to us for major milestones. My brothers do not know about this as we want to surprise them but that said they have been coming to the hospital more now that they’re in therapy and able to deal with it. I know they do not want to have any regrets even though it’s a difficult situation.

OOP on her father after being exposed and her bio mom trying to manipulate him

OOP: I do think he’s remorseful, he hasn’t said it but the way he’s acting is telling me that, he’s being really passive when normally he gets a little belligerent if he really feels like he didn’t do anything wrong. Also I know I have every reason to kick him out but he’s still my dad even tho what he did to Jane was terrible. He’s just kind of a weak minded person and my bio mom really manipulated the crap out of him and continues to manipulate him but I can tell he’s getting tired of her BS because he’s spending less time with her.
He didn’t know she was showing up at the house and when he found out he was super pissed at her, they’ve been fighting nonstop and I can tell he’s not as much under her spell anymore because he’s at home more but who knows.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Icy-Atmosphere2334
Originally posted to AITAH
AITAH for breaking up because my girlfriend “outed” me?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: mentions of biphobia, stalking, alcoholism, assault
Original Post: April 16, 2024
I made an account just for this, so I hope that’s ok. I’m not sure it will let me post.
I 23(M) am bisexual. I have known this since I was 17. I’ve been with both men and women but only women publicly and in actual relationships.
I am Japanese and being bi is not something I can open up about without serious consequences in my life.
I am always myself though. I’ve never needed to hide anything other than the fact that I also find men attractive. My natural demeanor is very “straight presenting”. It can be frustrating to hide being bi, but it hasn’t been world-ending. I’m not very inconvenienced by it so far.
I’ve been with my current girlfriend 27(F) for a year. We have never had any problems. Until recently.
While she was drunk at a party.. she outed me as bisexual in front of our friends, including a colleague of mine (who knows my family). I didn’t react when it happened. She was sitting in my lap and I only gave her a look. I think her comment was passed off as a joke.
When we got back to her apartment that night— I didn’t want to stay. I was angry at her for spilling a secret that I confided in her about. I treated her coldly when she tried to apologize and I left (clarification: this was not a true apology, it was physical affection/distraction attempts to avoid conflict and get me to stay). I told her she was drunk. Let’s talk in the morning.
I brought it up the next day and she refuses to acknowledge her mistake because it has seemingly had no consequences.
I don’t know if I’m wrong for feeling like she’s not respecting that I don’t want this known about me.
I broke up with her abruptly. She was furious. She called me an asshole for walking away so easily. I’ve been having some regrets.
I think I reacted the way I did because I’m the one with the secret, and maybe it weighs me down more than I realize.
Just looking for perspective.
Relevant Comments
Deleted Commenter: Well first off she was drunk as you said and apologized for it. Does it suck she spilled your secret? Sure. But is it really worth ending a relationship over a drunken mistake? You seem to be overreacting to a secret that will probably be known eventually. Unless you plan to keep it secret forever in which case you will burden whoever your partner is as well.
Plus you reacting by breaking up is for sure gonna end in everyone knowing anyway. So why not accept she didn't do it maliciously and was sorry for her drunken mistake?

OOP: I should have been more clear. She didn’t apologize. She said whatever she could to persuade me into getting out of my mood and so I would spend the night. I told her she’s drunk and let’s talk in the morning.
When we talked, she refused to acknowledge her mistake. I think we’re in disagreement because she thinks if it gets out I shouldn’t care. It’s easy for her to say this… but what comes from it is going to be experienced by me.
She doesn’t care. I care. I don’t want it out. It’s complicated for me. It’s something I want control over. For example, I rather my family find out from me than from a family friend or a stranger (when and if I choose to tell them).
But maybe I did overreact on instinct.

Sweet-Dandy: Break trust = breaks relationship
And the fact she won't own up to it shows she'll do it again.
Smart move OP.

OOP: I’m a little worried she’s going to blackmail me into getting back with her because she hasn’t accepted our breakup yet, but hopefully the person I cared about is still a person who wouldn’t hurt me. I know her secrets too. No amount of alcohol would have me spilling them.
So I’m counting on her ….

OOP on the possibility of his girlfriend trying to blackmail him

OOP: I want to specifically address that this is not an issue of lacking in pride, being ashamed, or not having confidence in my sexuality.
There are many valid reasons why I choose to keep this part of my life private right now. The destruction openly expressing something I consider nobody’s business would cause.. currently outweighs any worthwhile benefits.
If I had a boyfriend, maybe I’d warm up to revisiting my stance… that’s not the case right now. So it seems premature and unnecessary.
I’m not outright disagreeing with you, but I had to say it.

 
Update: May 8, 2024 (3 weeks later)
The first post is here.
I will keep it short.
We didn’t get back together. She refused to accept this and while in the beginning she focused all her attempts on trying to be understanding in hopes of reconciliation, eventually she started stalking me and trying to coerce me into getting back with her. She also tried to get a man to approach me so she could obtain video ‘evidence’ of our interaction to blackmail me with. She got nothing, and someone alerted me to her presence. Her behaviour escalated to throwing a bottle at me one night outside a venue while she was drunk. I didn’t retaliate. There were many witnesses. I have an order of protection against her. She has court mandated rehab. I think that sums it up.
Thank you.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the order of protection against his ex-girlfriend in a short time span

OOP: You’re right. I made a clarification in my post if it helps confusion. To my knowledge— Because my ex was arrested, the order of protection was issued during her arraignment.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I'm scared that I'm completely losing myself or being emotionally manipulated in my relationship. (1 yr together, known each other for 10). My partner (29 M) supports me in my self care & work & hobbies & loves to boost me up, but he also frequently tells me things I've done wrong. I'd always rather he be honest about his feelings, but i feel like it's very frequent. Something comes up at least twice a month where he says he doesn't feel listened to or valued or "like a partner" in our relationship and things blow up. This has happened for 3 months now. I have tried really hard to fix previous tangible concerns like letting him know when I'll be away from my phone for a while or making changes to not be late to things. We have had some really good strides where I've been able to tell him sorry for things I say that sound inconsiderate asap and asking what he means about things to avoid miscommunications. But the last 48 hours have been a nightmare even with my growth and progress. I'm sorry this post is lengthy but I'll try my best to explain the current situation:
Sunday my bf slept through his brother coming to visit on accident. He woke up and texted me and said he was spiraling a bit about feeling bad about it and would be okay but just needed a "5" to show him I was there. (this is supposed to be a call back to us saying I love you 5 ever in the past)
I didn't see his text for 30 minutes and then told him l was soo sorry I didn't see this sooner and that I was really sorry he slept through his alarm and missed that, but his body must have needed rest. He said it's okay, it's just my brother.
We spoke for 40 minutes about mothers day and other stuff and then he said "hey you never sent a 5" and I said "oh shoot, 5". It then was shared that it really upset him that I hadn't read and replied to that part of his text. It made him feel not listened to, he said, that I chose to reply how I wanted instead of doing what he asked for. I apologized and also said sorry I didn't say a 5 sooner and that I wish I had seen his text and sent a 5 right away. He got upset that I was apologizing for not texting him right away. He said apologizing for the thing he's not even upset about (not replying for 30 minutes) takes away his agency and takes away from him feeling heard.
He then explained it wasn't fully about the 5 - it was that it hurt that I didn't ask more about his feelings and just changed the topic after he said "it's okay". I think sometimes I forget people say "it's okay" to try to be strong when really they want to talk about their feelings. He emphasized he wished I had asked about his feelings and I said I definitely should have and need to be better about asking more follow up if he opens up and says he's spiraling.
I apologized a ton Sunday night and called him and cried to him on the phone about how much I cared and how much I didn't want to hurt him. He told me it was going to be okay and he even told me he felt loved and cared about. He showed appreciation when I took accountability and I said things like "I totally see how it made you feel not heard that I didnt do a small thing you asked for" and "I really should have followed up by asking more about your feelings or why you were spiraling".
Monday he got upset again once he woke up and said I was defensive yesterday and it hurt and that I talk at him and not with him (I did get defensive a bit by saying things like "I didn't know you weren't still okay and I took it at face value when you said you were okay" or saying "I told you I know I messed up and I shouldn't have ignored you opening up to me" when he brought up again how hurt he felt. But sometimes he repeated how hurt he was and how he wished I would hold myself accountable. So I would at times get defensive by saying "well I tried telling you that I'm sorry I ____"
I didn't know what to keep saying besides sorry and that I messed up. I tried keeping my answers brief after he said i was making things about myself (being emotional in my guilt) because i didnt want to risk monopolizing the conversation. Then he told me I really hurt him because he shared 2 paragraphs about how hurt he was and I gave a 10 word answer. I apologized multiple times for my 10 word answer. I said I only kept it short to keep the focus on him. He said it felt like I wasn't even trying. I tried asking what else he needs or what I could do to help and he told me I'm just Asking "out of self preservation". Then when I said I wish I knew what I could do to help he said "did you ask". Three different times when I said I wish I could make him feel better or things like I am trying to give thoughtful answers he would say "did you ask" and then I would say "ask what?" And get frustrated when he didn't give me a straight answer. When I got upset for not getting an answer to my question, he said I was making it about me again.
At some point he asked for examples of me asking accountability. I sent screenshots of when I said I messed up and hurt him and I should've done differently and he got upset and said "those are from yesterday and don't impact how I feel today". I tried taking accountability again today in multiple sentences. He seemed grateful that I did and was glad to hear me list the things I messed up and take the blame for. But then when I brought up something i was hoping we could still do (a surprise party for him) he got really upset and said I was only thinking about what I wanted (to see him and get him to the surpise) instead of what he wanted (to not go out). This led to him skipping his own surprise party today. We haven't had a conversation since he skipped it.
A chunk of yesterdays convo, word for word: M: "I felt so small when you gave me a 10 word response I felt like I didn't explain enough or wasn't good enough . And to not really have a response, it hurt me so bad."
F: "I'm sorry for hurting you so much and giving so small of a response. I'm really sorry for the things I did to make you feel small."
M: "thats not what I'm worried about or bothers me"
F: "What are you worried about or bothered by? You shared it Made you feel small when I sent a 10 word response, so I thought that was a part of the problem."
M: "Not really related and makes me feel worse about getting the love I need/want"
F: "i don't understand. You brought up how much hurt you and how low it made you feel, how is it not related?"
M: "Did you ask?"
F: "I'm asking now"
M: "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you being hurt negated everything I've felt?"
F: "What? Where did I say I'm hurt?"
M: "You're asking a question so you could feel good or secure but I dont feel I'm afforded the same"
A convo chunk from today:
M: i spend so much energy and get so little in return. When I reach out and ask for help everything gets focused on how you felt. When do I matter?
F: I'm sorry. I hope you can get to feel like you matter now. I have been trying to do what you need and put very little focus on myself and I'll keep trying
M: If you can't try or listen to what I'm saying or asking for just leave me alone and make this whole situation easier. I'm exhausted and tired from giving you grace and somehow things always focus back on you.
_--- Then In several texts asked him if he explain how things kept coming back to me and he said the focus just keeps coming back to me.because I won't take accountability. He is embarrassed and doesn't feel good enough. Because I don't show him support when he needs it and don't show i care in the ways he wants or needs the way he supports me when I'm low.
F; I'm sorry and I wish I had afforded you the same. I'm trying to give thoughtful answers, sorry if they have to be short because I'm at work. Can you explain how you feel like the focus has been coming back to me in today's convo. M: did you ask? F: ask what? M: dude we aren't doing this again F: dude I asked for clarification becuase I don't get your question M: It's not about you. I don't think you're ready or capable of loving me the way I want or need. I feel like I've given you grace and afforded you the space to make or acknowledge mistakes. I can't keep begging to be heard and feel like I'm overreacting or misunderstood. It's fine to ask for clarification, but when you do it hijacks the conversation and we never revist what I said.
F: because I don't get an answer so it's hard to revisit the topic when I'm still confused
M: I'm sorry , I didn't realize that me spiraling or being in a bad place was only continued because you didn't get a response. This isn't about you.
I want to get him to couples therapy because I care about him SO much and he has a really big heart and a good soul. But once he feels hurt, it's like he's stuck being the victim and can't see how horribly irrational our conversations are going. I am not perfect at conflict either - I get defensive if he keeps talking about being hurt, and I end up crying a lot to him about how bad I feel for hurting, and sometimes he has to help me calm me down from my intense crying over the problem I caused, which is draining for him. But I think at least in this case he is really stuck in a victim complex where he isnt doing any wrong and I'm not doing much right to him. I genuinely feel like therapy could really help, I want to support him, but I'm nervous to just outright ask for it. What do I do? How could I ease into the topic?
TL;DR: Although I have tried to be very patient and take accountability there are a lot of things I do that hurt my boyfriend. I have worked on improve some concrete things but our most recent conflict (detailed above) has me feeling anxious and lost because I try taking accountability throughout but he is still upset no matter what I say. I don't think he knows how to handle conflict and I'm not perfect at it either but i am very willing to name everything I do wrong and try to change it. I want to suggest couples therapy so he can see we can both do better. Not sure how.

For context - we’re all 18, graduated last year and They’ve been dating for two months but they’ve known each other for a year. I also have a boyfriend and I have a great support network of friends (two in particular have been helpful), family and I just started going to therapy. We’ve been friends for 15 years and we’re basically family. Most importantly, I have a boyfriend of one year who has been my rock throughout this and without him I think I’d go insane. (Just in case anyone thinks im jealous of the relationship itself) But she is very comfortable with him and has called him one of her top five friends and it’s amazing seeing them get along. When they first met she thought he was a wanker, and he is and she still does think that (yeah I don’t get it either) but she went to his formal in November and they started becoming good friends and the more they saw each other, the more the tension grew. They hooked up in February and started dating in March. Here’s the thing - I don’t like him, I think I may hate him but for my sanity I won’t admit that. As a matter of fact, she has no idea I don’t like him, I know that with these problems he has, she needs to be the one to realise that, and if I put myself between them she’d choose me but I will never do that to her. The other thing is, I know she needs this experience, I should not and will not be the person to point out his flaws. If she cannot realise that on her own… well I don’t know. But I know she is aware of these, but they haven’t hindered her passion and care for him. He has made comments to my family, he said to me my brother will get ‘clipped’ because of his name, which is awful, and my little brother, along with my siblings are so dear to me they are like my family. It’s also important to note that I am very friendly to this guy and we get along fine, he just always says something a little fucked but I keep that to myself and repeat it to my boyfriend and sometimes my best friend - I don’t give my input I just am like ‘he said this… im surprised you were accepting of that’ and she usually (genuinely) agrees ‘it’s fucked’ and brings it up w him, he apologises and then she’s fine w it (not sure but I can only assume because she rlly likes this guy, and it’s only grown, so clearly nothing has changed). I have a few concerns about this whole situation 1. How the hell can she forgive this guy who has made derogatory remarks about my family more than once and just being generally hateful to the people around him and then still look at him with this love (which by the way, they haven’t said I love you yet but she hangs out with him every two nights - including mothers day AND the night before mothers day so she ?… you gotta really love someone to put them in front of your mum) 2. She keeps telling me don’t worry it’s not like I’m going to marry him but DUDE you told me never in a million years would you date him! And the thing is… She didn’t think so, but I knew, once they started getting closer it became apparent it to me that it was only a matter of time… She’s never had a good understanding of her own feelings, so I can’t blame her, but it is so frustrating that it seems like I know her better than she knows herself - which she’s told me over and over again. 3. This is the worst part… I feel like I think less of her because of whose she’s dating. This man is arrogant, rude, fake and disrespectful. He’s good to her and they have a great time together. But if he’s rude, how can she allow that. I’d be ok with that if she was like nah I don’t like him too much we just have fun. But she likes him! She truly does. And I can’t help but hate that... How do I stop thinking less of her? It’s not really her fault but I can’t help it! I feel so immature and selfish and she deserves so much better than the way I’m feeling And I know she loves me so so much, and I promise if I had a doubt I’d say that here. But for some reason I get so stressed by this and I don’t fully understand why and how to help myself. And if I can’t help myself, how can I help her? But then there’s the concern that these concerns are illegitimate. I’m also worried that this is all in my head… I know why I care, it’s because I love her more than life itself and I want her to have everything she deserves, but I’m starting to worry I care TOO much. Every time we go out I talk about why I’m worried —> she understands (and agrees?) —> I feel better for two or three days —> I stress out —> I talk to her and the cycle continues. It’s draining! The thing between them has been going on for three months (dating for two) and it’s been almost the worst three months of my life. I am constantly met with confusion, grief, anger and overall despair. I know this is coming across as ’typical teenage drama’ and I’m sure it probably is that, and I know in five years I will be adjusted to this and he’ll be long gone. But this is so hard! I cannot find peace! Someone please help me figure out a way to accustom to these feelings and how much I need to change or talk

This is kind of a long one, so get prepared. I (f 19) am planning on dropping my best friend of seven years (f 20)exactly one year from now over an ultimatum that she doesn’t necessarily know about. This is going to take a little backstory. About three years ago, my best friend and I go on a two-man. We meet these two boys we end up dating them and hers ends after 8 months and mine became a 3 year on & off relationship. It was a very unhealthy relationship both myself and my ex boyfriend suffered quite a bit from it. (We were trauma bonded) We were consistently on & off. We would talk to each other until one of us got mad and then would take a break and just continue the cycle. Throughout all of it my best friend was a pusher. The first 8 months she pushed our relationship bc she was dating his bsf and she knew that meant she could hangout with me more (she usually gets a bf and doesn’t know how to split time) after she broke up with his one friend she starts fucking with his other friend (who has a gf) so now she want me to date my ex bc it’s the only place this friend can go without raising suspicion FROM HIS GF. THEN she begins dating ANOTHER one of his friends. I’m not even joking she had dated/ talked to every single one of my ex’s friends. I have asked her many times over the years not to talk about my ex, not to ask me to hangout around him or their friend group and all she does is talk abt them especially now that her bf is bsfs with him. You get the gist. Shes weirdly obsessed with him and I’s relationship and personally I think a friend should be supporting things that are healthy for you and not encouraging you to get back together with your ex boyfriend. I also need you to understand that she is the type of person to act like she’s mature but deep down she’s petty as fuck and hates being told she is in the wrong and will absolutely play the victim and flip the cards right back on you. So there is really no point in addressing the situation with her again. I have asked her numerous times not to involve me in that bs and not to talk to me about what he is doing, the girls he’s talking to, stuff he posts. Because I DONT CARE and she has not once listened. It’s all she talk about when I’m around her and it’s fucking weird. Cherry on top she has decided that because my ex boyfriend and her have such close birthdays and basically all the same friends they are going to have JOINT BORTHDAY PARTY. I wish I was joking my bestfriend and my ex are having a joint birthday party. Literally what did I do to deserve this and how on Earth can anybody think this is okay ????to my point of dropping her. I decide around 6 months ago that I was no longer putting myself in these positions and that I was permanently staying away from my ex. So I have given my best friend 1 year from today to cease all talk and friendship with my ex without telling her. I’m in college rn and I really don’t have many other friends and I don’t want to have a boring college experience so Im keeping her around for at leas occasional one on one friend time. She usually wants her boyfriend and one of his random friends to be around so I don’t feel like Im third wheeling but I have cut off all hangout unless there is a full plan of what we are doing and it’s just her and I, no boys. Do u have a better idea on how to approach this??

By popular demand, I guess...
I was kinda just being a smart-ass, but some of you wanted more so here it is: epilogues for every NPC as if they didn't continue to travel with Gorion's Ward and instead just decided to live their own life. Obviously, there are some implied alignment changes here.
This turned out to be longer than I expected and I kinda just threw it all together while I was working. Please excuse any typos or sloppy writing.
I want to apologize for one thing, though. Viconia's epilogue really only works if GW is a male, so I had to make that assumption for the sake of her story. If it matters any, I easily play just as many female GWs as I do male GWs. In fact, I probably play more female GWs because I don't care for the romances, frequently play the canon party, and want to nip the lame Jah romance in the bud.
But, to have them all in one place, I included my original smart-ass epilogues with the additional ones I created. Now, every character from BG1 and BG2 has an epilogue. I don't have the EE characters, though, because I play the original games and don't really know them.
So, just for funsies, which one is your favorite and why?
"Anomen continued to wait at the Copper Coronet for a party of adventurers willing to travel with him. Maybe it was the grating sound of his voice, or perhaps the way he leered at women, but he continued to remain alone. Eventually, he needed to find work to make ends meet. With Gorion's Ward having disbanded the slave traders and pit fights, Hendak had to find a new form of entertainment for the patrons. As such, he invented an all male review ladies night, and Anomen found work as a 'dancer'. He left the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart to join the less noble order of the pole. He also renounced his faith to Helm and instead allied himself with Waukeen because if you wanna see some groin, you gotta have some coin."
"Despite Gorion's Ward clearing the trolls from her keep, Nalia was not able to reclaim her lands and instead lost her estate to Lord Roenall. The lord offered to let her retain residence in her family's ancestral home, but only in exchange for her hand in marriage. Nalia found the proposition to be repugnant. Instead, she salvaged whatever wealth she could from her family's keep and moved to Athkatla to start a new life. She no longer helped the less fortunate, as she was now among their numbers and had her own problems. Nalia's lack of any practical skills combined with her sense of entitlement sent her into a life of failure followed by drinking and debauchery. She now spends more time back at the Copper Coronet than anywhere else. It is hard to say where she squanders her wealth more, the alcohol, or on the dancers during Ladies Night."
"After the incident with the Planar Sphere, Valygar was finally free of his past, could retire to his cabin, and pursue his true passion: writing. Ironically, the only inspiration he found ended up stemming from his family's checkered past. Valygar's only works that even had middling success were 'Tuesdays with Lavok' and 'Dude, Where's My Planar Sphere', with the latter being made into a production at the Five Flagoons Theater."
"Haer'Dalis continued to work as a performer at the Five Flagoons Theater. Unfortunately, it struggled due to poor management. It might have turned out better if an outside agent with fresh ideas had stepped in, but Gorion's Ward had better things to do than be a bard. While the work was generally steady, the returns were not great and the material was a little low-brow for Haer'Dalis' liking. The tiefling realized he reached rock bottom when he was cast as the lead in a play about a buffoon who apparently lost a plane-shifting apparatus the size of a small castle and had to find it before his parents returned from Neverwinter. After the opening night, he took his own life in his dressing room. His body was found the next morning with a note saying, 'Art is dead and I am art, so I shall join art in death.' Biff the Understudy stepped in for Haer'Dalis despite never having an opportunity to read the script. Nevertheless, the production was a resounding success and launched Biff's career to new heights."
“A heartbroken Garrick found work as a character actor at the Five Flagoons Theater, but eventually gained more success as a writer and director. He found it to be a mostly agreeable situation, aside from a tiefling primadonna who would constantly belittle his work and call it ”trite" and “drivel”. Fortunately, that situation worked itself out in time and Garrick found Biff to be much easier to direct. With the tiefling gone, his ideas had room to grow. He invented a new kind of love story, one where the protagonist doesn't always get the girl at the end but the journey to that ending would be quite amusing. He labeled this genre “the Comedy of Romance” and the works were mostly based on his own life. His plays were quite popular among the commoners, with his top selling shows being 'Sleepless in Saradush', 'Silverymoon Linings Playbook', and 'Crazy Rich Aasimars'. He eventually fully transitioned off the stage into the director's chair. By the peak of his fame, he was married to none other than Queen Ellesime."
“Aerie continued to work at the circus and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HER DAMN WINGS. Even Quayle eventually grew sick of hearing about it. This put strain on their relationship. Things took a turn for the better when Ribald Barterman acquired a new curiosity for his shop. It was a magical ring which he sold to Quayle at a reduced rate out of sympathy. This ”treasure" was actually a cursed Ring of Deafness, which Quayle found to be anything but a curse and wore it for the rest of his days."
“Xzar and Montaron were both slain at the hands of the Athkatla Harpers, but this is actually where their story begins. Xzar, as he had done so many times before, had a backup plan of an arcane nature should death befall either he or the halfling. Their mortal essences were pulled to a pocket plane he created. There they could be channeled into restored bodies cloned at his estate. With this particular round of ritual, Xzar had incidentally made a slight error in the incantation and the two found themselves in a time suspended state in Xzar's pocket plane. It was only five minutes for the rest of the world, but it was fifty years for them. This turned out to be a pivot point in their relationship. Having only each other's company in this shadowy void, they were finally able to work out their feelings for each other. When they had returned to the prime material plane, they discovered their mutual animosity was replaced with love. Rather than pick up their life where they left off with the Zhentarim, they decided to pack it all in, moved to Bryn Shander, and start a bed and breakfast. Montaron rediscovered his halfling roots and love for the culinary arts while Xzar would perform seances to connect guests with their late loved ones. Scones and Bones became an overnight success and was consistently listed as a “must see” in Volo's travel guides. In their golden years, the couple co-wrote a memoir of their journey, ‘Brokeback Montaron’, which is sold in bookstores everywhere."
“After briefly crossing paths with Gorion's Ward, Mazzy Fentan continued her crusade as a de facto halfling paladin. She eventually found herself petitioning for membership at the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart in Athkatla after she had singlehandedly saved a village from an ancient dracolich. Despite the extent of her virtue and accomplishment, her petition was denied on the basis that halflings could not possibly be real paladins. This inspired her next crusade, one to break down vocational barriers for all demihuman races. Why couldn't halflings be paladins or dwarves be wizards? And why did gnomes always have to be illusionists? It simply made no goddamn sense. She began to get traction with her quest when she attended lectures by the wizards of the (sword) coast in Candlekeep. With their help, she ushered Faerun into a new edition era where there would be no vocational barriers for adventurers based on their race. Soon, the world began to see roguish halflings that also venerated Helm, while tending to the wilds as a druid. Half-orc bards also studied as wizards while manifesting natural arcane abilities as sorcerers. Tiefling paladins took their crusades to the wilderness and served as rangers, while sidelining as clergy to Mystra. The world was now a liberated place, free to not make any goddamn sense in a myriad of new ways. At one point, Lady Mazzy Fentan of Trademeet (now formally a paladin) crossed paths with a dwarven shadowdancebard and in that moment she regretted everything. Seriously, just take a moment and picture that. It would look fucking ridiculous.”
“Yeslick's clanhome was flooded once again. Despondent and without options, he took work at a smithy in Baldur's Gate but never stopped dreaming of finding both a clan and a home. He found a way to bring this dream to life after a courageous halfling paladin broke down the barriers for, among other things, dwarves to be wizards. Yeslick had an idea. He studied magic diligently until he was able to cast two spells of great importance: Water Breathing and Permanence. He then searched the lands for other clanless dwarves who would be willing to try something new. With the new clan he formed, Yeslick permanently gave all his fellow clansman the ability to breath underwater. They then moved into the flooded Cloakwood Mines and built the first underwater dwarven stronghold. Using his arcane powers, Yeslick also developed the ability to speak with the marine life that shared this stronghold. And, with that, the clan Aquadwarf was born. At one point, Valygar visited and wrote a play based on Yeslick's story. However, he couldn't even get it to stage at the Five Flagoons Theater. The illustrious director Garrick was quoted as saying, “A hero that can breath underwater and talk to fish? Nobody would go for that!"
“Keldorn finally retired from the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart and looked forward to a much simpler life. He rekindled his marriage with Lady Maria and life seemed to improve. It was rather early on when the couple discovered that Maria had become pregnant again. It was also not long after that when Peony, the housekeeper, also became pregnant. Maria started to ask Keldorn about this, but Keldorn started to get defensive and asked, ”Hey, who's the Inquisitor here?" Then Keldorn started to do the math with her to track the conception of Maria's pregnancy. She certainly did not want him to get to the end of that equation, so she quickly changed the subject. She suggested getting a new maid, but Keldorn chastised her for abandoning someone in their time of need who had been like family for years. He forbade Peony's departure claiming that his god, Torm, would not stand for it. Maria then made a passive aggressive comment about Torm being the god of loyalty, but she was mostly just muttering under her breath to get the last word in. Eventually, both children were born and had probably the most awkward upbringing of anyone in Faerun."
“After Gorion's Ward helped Coran take down a wyvern, the rogue brought the beast's head back to the mayor of Beregost for the reward and accolades. He thought this put him in a position to be a hero of great renown and perhaps, just maybe, people would stop mocking him for his flashy attire and completely superfluous eye mask. They didn't. He only gained acceptance when he crossed paths with a ranger who seemed indifferent towards Coran's keen fashion sense. Coran traveled the Sword Coast with his ranger sidekick, righting the wrongs against the ‘little guy’ and taking the law into their own hands when needed. This partnership dissolved when he discovered that the ranger thought Coran was the sidekick. As if! Coran tried to correct the ranger, whose argument was, 'Really, man, if that outfit doesn't scream sidekick then I'm Elminster's twin brother.' The ranger was not related to Elminster and shared no resemblance.
“Kivan never was able to get his revenge on Tazok. Unbeknownst to him, that honor was taken by Gorion's Ward. His thirst for vengeance continued to eat away at him until he found himself in a bat infested cave in the wilderness. It was then he snapped. He turned the cave into his secret hideaway, put together a disguise and started wandering the sword coast looking for evil-doers to punish. He would leave his calling card wherever he saved the day, a token of a bat with longer ears like an elf. And bats already had rather long ears so these bat ears were almost comically obtrusive. Nevertheless, his deeds were generally appreciated and the people stared calling him Bat-elf. For a short spell, another elf tagged along with him and tried to help, but he was so flamboyantly dressed that one could pick his sidekick out of the shadows blindfolded. Kivan eventually had to send him on his way. Unfortunately, his vigilante crusade abruptly ended after receiving a cease and decist order from DC Comics. Kivan could fight both monster and marauder all day, but his 14 Constitution wouldn't hold up against a lawsuit for trademark infringement.”
“Skie was deeply affected by both the death of her brother and the assassination of her father. And yes, her father was actually murdered and didn't lol-jk back to life in some crappy DLC. In any event, through these traumas, she came to realize the puerility of what she thought was her brilliant criminal masterminding. Instead, she decided to settle down and live a more responsible life as an upstanding citizen of Baldur's Gate. She took the reins of her father's estate after his death and rose to prominence as one of the Grand Dukes of the city. She maintained her relationship with Eldoth for quite some time, inexplicably, as he refused to get a job because he didn't want to take attention from his band which he swore was going to make it. However, the bard spent most of the day either lounging at Skie’s estate or gambling away his allowance with games of three-dragon-ante at the Helm and Cloak. Eventually, inspired by the book “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar," she decided to call it quits with Eldoth and sent him packing. Shortly thereafter, she met a man who was nothing like Eldoth and they settled down together to start a family."
“Eldoth's dreams of being a world-famous musician fronting the greatest band in Faerun never reached fruition. This was partly because he didn't actually have a band and partly because he didn't have the talent to write music. Instead, he just had a lute he purchased at Lucky Aello's Discount Store that only had one A-string and was missing the E-string. Also, Eldoth could only play power chords and he couldn't really sing and play at the same time. Most of the time he would just strum a chord or two and then talk about what the song would do next, often describing a solo and half playing it on an ”air lute" (while he was still holding an actual lute, mind you) to give people the idea as to how the song would sound when it was finally written. Yeah, he was one of those guys. After Skie kicked him to the curb, he bounced between various barmaids who clearly had low self-esteem, but not low enough to keep him around for long. Eventually, he got one of them pregnant and was forced into a shotgun wedding by the barmaid's father. He now works in the kitchen at the same inn as his barmaid wife. She helps the customers up front and he cooks eggs in the back. Eldoth continues to tell himself that this experience will just provide inspiration for his music and that someday he was going to get the band back together."
“After being rescued by Gorion's Ward, Xan made his way to Baldur's Gate to regroup. He spent an inordinate amount of time beating himself up over his failures and trying to muster the gumption to continue his quest to unravel the political turmoil of the region. However, it took him months to get to this point, and by that time, Gorion's Ward already sorted out the problems in the region. Discovering this, he deemed himself a failure yet again and sunk into a deeper depression. He pulled himself out of it when he met a woman who lost most of her family to violent deaths during the iron crisis, yet she still kept herself together and became a local success in a few short years. Xan immediately fell in love with the recently single Skie Silvershield and began to court her. They eventually married and started a family. At Xan's insistence, and inspired by his wife's name, their two daughters were named Sunshine and Rainbow. Xan was a staunch supporter of his wife's career and stayed home to raise the kids. When they were older and needed less attending, he followed a new dream and became a motivational speaker.”
“Korgan had his revenge against his backstabbing crew and employer, but he felt...empty. It was done, but he felt no satisfaction. Disgruntled and disappointed, he decided to lose himself in his cups at the Copper Coronet. Even this did nothing to alleviate his malaise. One night, having passed out drunk in a peasant room at the Copper Coronet, he dreamt of that final fight but something was different. In the background of the battle, there was a glow coming from the door of a shack and he heard the whispering of a language that sounded like it was from Kara-Tur. When he woke the next morning, Korgan returned to the rooftop and found the shack from his dream. He knocked and was greeted by a priest of Illmater. Korgan told the priest of his dream and he was led into the backroom where he found a man from Kara-Tur infirm and huddled over a cup of tea. The priest explained that he had just reincarnated this man of the faith using a heart delivered by a passing adventurer. Korgan took this as a sign, converted to the faith, and the two paired up to help those in suffering as a result of the schemes of others. The tales of Korgan and Yoshimo were not only told in many of a tavern by the bards, but also collected in graphic serials that were popular among the children of Athkatla.”
“Ajantis' death sent him into an afterlife at Everwatch, the realm of Helm. For his honor and diligence, the devout knight was granted an audience with his patron. Ajantis then told Helm what utter bullshit the god was. I mean, c'mon, he's the god of protection, the Vigilant One, and he couldn't protect a group of knights from a dragon's cheap illusion spell that a mage even tried to dispel with True Sight? It was like Helm wasn't even trying. Helm was stunned by the confrontation but also had no valid defense. Ajantis called Helm to a trial that was mediated by Tyr. After careful deliberation, Tyr determined that Helm was sleeping on the job and the judgment was to demote him to a lesser deity. Now, Helm was the patron of guards, but not actual guards that ever see action, just the ceremonial ones whose weapons and armor are super shiny and probably not even real. Ajantis was then granted Helm's old portfolio and became a god that truly protected his followers.”
“Viconia left Athkatla's government district perplexed. She was rescued from burning at the stake by Gorion's Ward and then immediately dismissed. She found this to be unusual behavior for a male. She was accustomed to men either trying to bed her or kill her, but this casual indifference was completely new. Viconia came to be obsessed with Gorion's Ward from a distance. She spiraled into a fantasy where the two of them had a future together. It was pretty bad. There were some extremely embarrassing vision boards involved and that wasn't even the worst of it. When her mania reached critical mass, her obsession actually collapsed and she had an epiphany. She came to realize that she did not need this man, or any for that matter. She started on a journey of self discovery and took a moral inventory of her past relationships. She wrote about it in the book, “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar”. She then used the revenue from the book sales to open Athkatla's first feminist bookstore. In Her Words became a mecca for women, particularly those who felt trapped in bad relationships. The community that emerged here created the group, Friends of Galia, which strove to free women from abusive relationships. Eventually, the bookstore expanded to include an apartment block above that became a shelter for such women. Occasionally, the partners of these victims would come around to In Her Words in an attempt to drag their partners back home. You can probably guess how a confrontation between a drunken 0-level commoner and a Drow priestess of Shar ends."
“Faldorn was defeated by Jaheira in Trademeet and lost her title of Arch-Druid. In truth, she was relieved to be relieved of the position. Years of pushing forward the Shadow Druid agenda led Faldorn to realize that she had lost touch with the real Faldorn along the way. After some soul-searching, she reinvented herself as a lifestyle guru and developed an entire line of organic health and beauty products under the name, She-Wolf. Both her products and seminars were all the rage in Athkatla, specifically among noblewomen who clearly had too much free time. Faldorn eventually gave up her residence in natural environs for a lavish estate in Athkatla's government district. Her following soon pressured her to petition to join the Council of Six after the fall of the Cowled Wizards left the position open (aside from a short-term replacement). Her petition was a success and she soon found herself on the Council of Six. Under her leadership, she created created the FDAA, the Food and Drink Association of Athkatla. Now, instead of draconian rules governing magic in the city, equally restrictive rules and standards were applied to the food and drink that the people consumed.”
“Barely surviving being gravely wounded by Irenicus, Tiax left Spellhold for Athkatla where he intended to do what he did best: rule. Learning from his past campaign mistakes in Baldur's Gate, he changed his slogan from ”Tiax Rules!" to “Make Athkatla Great Again”. Of course, what he thought would make Athkatla great was putting himself in charge as a despotic leader. But, he toned down that aspect of his platform and instead focused on the history of scheming and backroom dealing of the Cowled Wizards (as if he was any less evil or scheming) and promised the people he would be different than all the other corrupt politicians. Miraculously, despite his obviously apparent character flaws, he succeeded in replacing the Cowled Wizards' representative on the Council of Six. He decided to take their stance on restrictive magic to the next level and banned magic entirely. Since he didn't study the arcane himself, it was no skin of his nose. This move undermined his support base leaving him with only the most backwards and ignorant followers. He was ultimately removed from his position when he insisted the city build a wall around the planar sphere and was expecting that the city's wizards would be the ones to pay for it. After his removal, his few remaining extreme supporters organized an invasion of the main government building under the guise of freedom of assembly. All nine of these “rebels” were rounded up, tried, and sent to prison. Tiax was convicted of treason and reincarnated in Spellhold, which was now just a common prison. After his eventual release, he was prohibited from seeking any position of power in Amn."
"Edwin Odesseiron continued to lay low with the Shadow Thieves for a while. The Cowled Wizards suffered a crippling blow as a side effect of the conflict between Gorion's Ward and Irenicus. Edwin decided to step in and finish the job. His thought was that he could wipe out the Cowled Wizard remnants and then take credit for their defeat, thereby gaining him more clout among the Red Wizards of Thay. After many conspicuous mage battles in the streets of Athkatla, he succeeded. However, the people who noticed his efforts the most were actually the people of Athkatla. They were tired of living under the Cowled Wizards' iron fist and Edwin was lauded as a liberator and hero. He even had a statue in his image raised in Waukeen's Promenade. Edwin was initially nonplussed over people finally giving him the credit he always felt he so rightfully deserved. But, he quickly came to accept their praise and bought in to being a champion for the people. Edwin continued his agenda of liberation when a clearly insane gnome who found his way on the Council of Six tried to ban magic entirely in the city. Edwin and his followers were primarily responsible for having the madman removed from his seat.
“Shar-Teel, Safana, Branwen, and Alora all happened to cross paths with each other at Elfsong one evening. Shar-Teel was looking to fight a man, Safana was looking to shag a man, Branwen was recently petrified by a man, and Alora was just excited to be somewhere new. The four got to talking with each other and, despite having wildly different personalities, seemed to hit it off. Shar-Teel was sarcastic and aggressive, Safana was self-absorbed and man-hungry, Alora was kind and sweet, and Branwen was the matriarch of the group. You wouldn't think this lot would get along, but they actually did, and their differences merely become the fuel for innocuous hi-jinks week after week.”
"With Gorion's Ward's help, Cernd was able to rescue his child that he then abandoned again at the druid grove near Trademeet. He promised that he would return to raise the child, he just needed to run to the general shop in Trademeet for some pipeweed. He never returned, but that was pretty obvious since he didn’t even smoke. Cernd continued to wander Faerun. It came to light in Cormyr that Cernd had actually married, and had children, with numerous women in Cormyr, Amn, the Sword Coast, Tethyr, Calimshan, Turmish, Halruaa, Icewind Dale, Chondath, Sembia, Impiltur, the Silver Marches, and even the Troll Hills (don't ask). Furthermore, it was discovered that Cernd was not actually a druid, just a werewolf that had a Ring of Goodberries. The druid con was so that he could have a reason to abandon his wives and children and move on to a new situation. You would be surprised at how many women could fall for a guy that can conjure an impromptu picnic in the park. Unfortunately for Cernd, Cormyr was not the kind of place to run afoul of the legal system. For the crime of bigamy, he was sentenced to life in prison. He never set foot near a druid grove again, but he was allowed to participate in a work-release program tending to the gardens of nobles.
“Kagain returned to his shop and grew even more bitter, but not over what the death of Entar Silvershield's son had done to his reputation and business. Instead, he resented that even the Enhanced Edition of the game didn't give him a remotely decent companion quest. By Moradin's hammer, Cernd even had a pretty involved companion quest and the story there both starts and ends with a deadbeat dad! Also, Kagain can regenerate! Korgan can't even do that. And another thing! He was sick of people confusing the two of them as if all dwarves look alike or something. Ok, granted, they're both old dwarves with greying beards, but Korgan's beard is tied while Kagain's beard is brushed out. Of course, none of this made sense to anyone, even to Kagain who never actually crossed paths with Cernd or Korgan. However, the dwarf had nothing to do with his time except stand in his shop, isolated and alone, until he was done in by insanity and plantar fasciitis.”
“The death of Khalid shook Jaheira to the core. She convinced herself that she could never love again, certainly not so soon after his death nor with anyone that would be a child in her eyes. That would be absurd and rather tacky. After her escape from Irenicus' prison and deposing Faldorn from the druid grove, she took over as Arch-Druid. Being a Harper just wouldn't be the same without Khalid. However, the grove would allow her to explore a new, but comfortingly familiar, phase of life. She had barely been installed as the Arch-Druid when Cernd dropped off his child and disappeared again. He did not even stay long enough to tell Jaheira the child's name. Knowing he would likely not return, she named the child Khalid after her lost love. Realizing there were other children our there without families to care for them, Jahaeira would send her subordinates to wander nearby lands and bring them to the grove for a better life. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these children happened to be Cernd's. She eventually renamed the grove to Kinder Garden in honor of the grove's new purpose of giving these children a kinder upbringing. Jaheira's headstrong personality served her well with these lost children, who all loved her as they would any mother. The Kinder Garden became the most thriving druid grove in all of Faerun. Jaheira eventually died in 1547 DR, with hundreds of children haven been rescued in her lifetime, and a memorial was erected in her honor at the grove. The inscription read, 'Nature's Servant Awaits.'"
“After being freed from Irenicus' dungeon, Minsc put his boots on the ground at the Copper Coronet. Being the simple man that he was, he found himself unwittingly recruited into fighting in the gladiator pits (before Gorion's Ward was able to free the slaves). Yet again, Minsc took a blow to the head. But this time, its effects were something completely new. No longer was he the slow-witted evil-slaying ranger, armed to the teeth and packing a hamster. Instead, his intelligence and wisdom started to blossom and he explored, through dissertation, the impact of modern civilization on the overall ecosystem of Faerun. Indeed, before Minsc started his work, the people of Faerun didn't even have the concept of an ”ecosystem". He left Athkatla to pursue a residency at Jaheira's grove where he could study and work in peace. He published works like, “The Intersection of Geopolitics and Biodiversity: Living More but Dying Sooner”, “The Essential Symbiosis Between the Savage and Civilization”, and “Moral Urbanization: Seeking a More Comprehensive Prosperity”. Minsc continued his studies and writing and ultimately produced enough groundbreaking works to have his own annex in Candlekeep. It was shortly after the dedication of this annex that Minsc disappeared from Faerun, never to be seen again."
“Jan Jansen's fate was the most impressive of all as his endeavors shaped the very fabric of Faerun for centuries to come. His story truly serves as a moral lesson for everyone and we should heed its virtue quite seriously. Helping Lissa and Jaella planted a seed of regret in Lissa with regards to her marriage to Vaelag. Speaking of seeds, this reminds Jan of a time when he was helping his Uncle Scratchy with his turnip farm. However, Uncle Scratchy was hoodwinked and the seeds he received were actually purple carrot seeds. You can imagine Uncle Scratchy's surprise when they sprouted and he suddenly had a field of purple carrots. Well, as you probably know, you can't make turnip stew, or turnip casserole, or turnip pie with purple carrots. But it just so happened there was a mage tower nearby and the resident mage needed a vast number of carrots. Apparently, her plan was to animate them as a kind of vegetable army to combat a myconid infestation in cave system rather close to her tower. Of course, animated carrots are quite self-assured and were immune to myconoid's confusion spores. Anyway, Jan had a once-removed cousin, Bobil, that was lost in those caves when he was a young gnome. He had wandered so deep that he found himself in the den of a solitary xvart who was obsessed with a magic ring. Bobil happened to purloin that ring but it turned out to not be magic at all. However, it was still worth enough for Bobil to buy himself a nice cottage in Trademeet. He then started his own turnip farm and had better luck than Uncle Scratchy. Wait, what were we talking about, again?”
“Boo continued his mission to study the sentient life forms of Faerun and determine their potential impact on the metaverse. He preferred the continued company of Minsc due to the ranger's kindness and protectiveness. Boo found this to be quite valuable in his current miniaturized state. Even after Minsc's accident, where his intellect began to expand, Minsc never lost his good heart and inherent kindness and the two remained the best of friends. It was a number of years later that the term of Boo's mission was complete. A team of his fellow people arrived on a spelljammer to collect the giant miniaturized space hamster. Minsc (and Boo) were on a retreat in a remote part of the Neverwinter Wood when a vessel shaped like a giant acorn landed in a nearby clearing. A number of human-sized anthropomorphic hamster-like beings, who called themselves the Ysoki, emerged and met with Boo. One had a strange crystalline device which it used to restore Boo to his proper size. Minsc naturally remained composed while all this was happening. He and Boo talked often and he knew this day would be coming. Boo returned to the spelljammer with his brethren to debrief on the mission. The Ysoki wanted to bring a sample back to their homeworld for further learning and study. Boo offered Minsc for the task, as the exemplar human would fit in nicely with the Ysoki's advanced culture and society. Everyone was in agreement and made the offer to the ranger. Minsc felt like he had made every contribution he could to the people of Faerun, so he accepted and boarded the ship. Boo, excited to finally be on a spelljammer again, took the helm and plotted a course for his homeworld. At his side sat his friend and faithful companion, Minsc.”

I just want to preface this with there is NO set markup for all builders. Every company is different. Different overhead. Different profit. When people say a “20%” standard, they have no idea what they are talking about or they are feeding you a bunch of BS. Production builders are able to charge a lower markup because they have a larger gross revenue. Custom builders that only do a few houses a year have larger markups because they have less gross revenue. Or they can have a lower markup because they have lower overhead or set their net margin at a lower number. The numbers are what they are. There is a reason that 95% of contractors go out of business within the first few years. They might be good at their trade but they are terrible at their numbers. Never go with a cost plus contractor. It is guaranteed that the number they give you is a low ball number to get the job. 100% of cost plus jobs will end at least 30-40% higher than what was originally quoted. Or they will never be completed. What happens then? Here are a few things I would like the cost plus guys to mull over and answer as well as the attorneys I have seen commenting on CP contracts:

1. There is no universal definition of Cost Plus or Time & Material Contracts or billing, thus creating confusion and misunderstandings almost immediately in any contract. Attorneys practicing law in the same town will often have different definitions of what is a Cost Plus or Time & Material Contract.
   
2. Lenders often will not lend on Cost Plus or Time & Material jobs unless there is a "not to exceed" clause. When the job goes beyond the not to exceed clause, you must have written authorization to do that work (signed, dated and completely priced out on a Change Work Order) or your client is not obligated to pay you for the work.
   
3. Some states now have laws that specifically prohibit the use of Cost Plus contracts.
   
4. Based on discussions with attorneys Cost Plus or Time & Material jobs generate lawsuits at a rate of 3 to 1, and arbitrations at 9 to 1 over Fixed Figure contracts.
   
5. Cost Plus or Time & Material contracts are an easy way out of doing detailed project study and estimating. This increases the chances that the original "estimate" for work to be done will be low to very low. You risk accusations of violating the Good Faith & Fair Dealing law for "low balling" estimates. An estimate below the actual price will lead to a fight over money when the real costs start the original estimate. coming in, and the client is requested to pay more for the job than
   
6. Because of the perception that on Cost Plus or Time & Material contracts the owner is required to pay for absolutely everything, many contractors do not write out Change Work Orders and have the owner sign them, falsely believing that they (the contractor) will be paid for all the work that they do on that job.
   
7. Owners often go into a Cost Plus contract thinking they have ample money to cover the job. When the job reaches the 60 percent to 80 percent completion point, and the owners have made multiple changes to the job increasing the cost, they run out of money. Their claim will be that the contractor overcharged from the start of the job, and the contractor will be expected to finish
   
8. For your own protection, you must keep an accurate day-to-day log of all labor, materials, subcontract and other fees or costs on the job to be able to verify your actual expenses to date. If you do not, depending on your contract, you may not be able to collect for undocumented expenses, regardless of what they are or how much work has been done.
   
9. In addition, you must have in your possession every document from the job that has incurred a cost. This includes all time cards, invoices, or any other papers related to the project. If you lose any item, you may not be paid for it.
   
10. With the need to keep very careful records on the jobs, you substantially increase the amount of meeting and preparatory time necessary for the job. Often this time will be three to four times the amount of time necessary to complete a Fixed Figure contract. Cost Plus or Time & Material jobs require at least two, and often three times as many meetings with the client to review job progress, billings, invoices, labor, etc. Who pays for the meeting time and the extra administration time to prep all the documents for labor and invoices from subs and suppliers?
    
11. Who draws the plans and gets the permits on a Cost Plus or Time & Material job? If a mistake is made on the plans, who pays for the time it takes to redraw the plans; and who pays to tear out the mistake and rebuild it?
    
12. Who pays for the engineering if the owner forgets to include it on the plans that they provide; and who pays for your downtime while you wait for these revisions?
    
13. Suppose engineering on a portion of the job gets by the plans examiner, the inspector catches the problem, and the job has to shut down until the engineering is complete and new plans are drawn and ready to use. Who pays for the new plans and delays? Who pays for tearing out the wrong structural work completed, and the materials that are ruined due to tear out? Who pays for the additional labor needed to correct the problem? Who pays for the downtime for you and your crew, driving time; restart up time?
    
14. Will the owner be willing to pay for your travel time to and from your office for meetings or discussions on problems that might arise on the job; or from the jobsite to your suppliers and back to the job site for material pickup that either they or you forgot?
    
15. If you make a mistake on a Cost Plus or Time & Material job, who pays for it? Do you donate your time or is the client willing to pay For it? Who pays for ruined materials? Who pays to go get the new materials and the cost of the vehicle expense to do the pickup?
    
16. Who makes up the material lists for jobs with Cost Plus or Time & Material contracts that are needed before the job starts? If you do, will you be paid for that time?
    
17. Owners are far more prone to want to furnish some or all of the materials for their jobs when using a Cost Plus or Time & Material contract. The contractor is expected to guarantee those materials when installed, not to mention losing the markup on those materials. Who pays for the time to replace defective materials supplied by the owner?
    
18. What happens when the owner is to supply some of the materials and they forget to buy a certain item or don't know what materials to bring to the jobsite? Who pays to get the forgotten items? What happens if it takes the owner two or three days (or longer) to get the needed materials to the jobsite? What do you and your crews do in the meantime, and who pays for that downtime?
    
19. The owner goes to your supplier (with your permission) and charges materials for the job to your account. What happens if you send the owner to a certain supplier you normally use for materials, he purchases the materials, and then later claims that he could have purchased the same materials at another location at a better price? You gave him the higher priced supplier to go to, so you are responsible for the difference in cost.
    
20. Cost Plus or Time & Material reviews show owners what you're paying for materials. This will increase the probability of complaints from owners that they could have bought the same item elsewhere for less money. It also leads to owners believing they only have to pay the amount that they could have bought the materials for.
    
21. Owners expect you to be fully productive on their jobs for 8 hours a day. They will be looking over your shoulder constantly. You will seldom, if ever, get the job done as quickly as they are expecting you to do it. Will they be willing to pay for your state's mandated morning and afternoon breaks for your employees? Will they be willing to pay for smoke breaks, coffee breaks, mobile phone time? Will they pay for the time for you or one of your employees to escort an inspector through the job and answer questions? Who pays for the labor and materials to do required changes?
    
22. The contractor must be far more diligent in policing employees so that they are productive on the job at all times, with no miscellaneous discussions or activities on or about anything other than the job they are working on. Again, this pertains to starting and quitting times, smoke breaks, coffee breaks, mobile phone time.
    
23. It is very difficult to "compete" on Cost Plus commercial jobs, because larger construction companies will take these jobs at cost to build a presence with corporations that allocate multimillion- dollar projects on assignment basis as a result of favorable past performance.
    
24. From the client's standpoint, Cost Plus contracts give the contractor little incentive to get in and get the job done. Instead, the contractor's incentive is to keep the clock running, especially if he doesn't have the next job lined up. Cost Plus jobs often run far longer than would be considered normal with a Fixed Fee contract.
    
25. Owners believe that Cost Plus or Time & Material jobs will cost them less money to build. Therefore, they expect you to charge them less money for the work that you do (i.e. less than your normal overhead and profit). In most cases, owners believe that you should only make: Remodeling: 10 percent overhead and to 10 percent profit New home construction: 10 percent overhead and profit Specialty construction: 6 to 10 percent overhead and 5 to 10 percent profit This makes it extremely difficult for you to use your established markup on that job, especially when you have to show them your invoices at the normally required meetings where you review the job progress and expenses to date.
    
26. Owners do their homework, put their job out for "Bid" at Cost Plus or Time & Material plus 6 percent, 7 percent or 8 percent maximum markup. They tell you if you don't want to bid that way, don't enter a bid. They also tell you that "You're not going to make your normal markup on my job!' In other words, take it or leave it.
    
27. One way many contractors handle Cost Plus or Time & Material contracts is to take items that are considered overhead and stuff those costs into the job cost section. In court, a sharp expert witness will find the overhead items listed under job costs and accuse the contractor of "double dipping" on the job. This immediately paints the contractor as dishonest, making a win in court even more difficult.
    
28. Most Cost Plus contracts give the owner the right to either select the subs for his job from a list supplied by the general contractor, or the owner can hire his own subcontractors that the owner will supervise during the job. What happens if subs hired by the owner don't adhere to the general contractor's time schedule? Who's responsible for delays and downtime caused by their lack of cooperation? What prevents the owner from suing the contractor for lack of supervision and other damages caused because the job did not get done on time?
    

My brain is so scrambled I hope this makes sense. I’ll answer any questions in this comments if anyone is confused about something.
November 2023(back story)
My Mom kicked me and my boyfriend out on a drunk episode. We moved into his moms Rv for two months after that and everything was fine. I finally escaped her alcoholic cycle and i felt peace. My boyfriend was struggling with finding a job, Im a hairstylist and have my license so i found work pretty quickly. I soon after that felt really depressed from working and paying our RV rent by myself. I folded unfortunately (some days i really hate myself for that) and got fed up with paying for things by myself. He doordashed while I was at work but it was nowhere near how much i was bringing in.
January 2024 I found out I was pregnant while me and my bf lived in the rv. It explained the massive emotional distress i was under. I was tired constantly and couldn’t eat. I freaked out and told my mom. She begged me to move back with her. And i did mostly because of the financial stress i was under while living with my bf. After I left my bf moved in with his mom and was able to secure a decent job. I was really sick during my first trimester and couldn’t work so I took a month off. I quit doing hair and started a childcare job because it was less stress on my back and I had flexible hours. Everything was ok while living with my mom, she would occasionally have her drunk episodes but i would ignore her because i did want to stress out the baby. BUT THIS PAST WEEKKKKKKKKK i actually can not do it anymore. I am currently 6 months pregnant (25 weeks exactly) and mothers day May 12 2024 my mom was driving back from houston with her boyfriend. I realized i hadn’t picked her up anything for mother’s day so I decided to run to the store. My other siblings live in chicago so I called them and asked what should I get her. We decided on something small since we all felt like she really didnt deserve anything but it was the right thing to do. I also decided to just go stop and get food on the way back because i was hungry. My mother sends me nasty text messages saying “bring me my car back now” “actually i’m leaving drive my car to her bf house” “i need to stop using her car” and a long rant. I called her and told her im five from the house i went to get food (i didnt want to ruin her surprise) but she still has a nasty ass attitude with me so i tell her im coming home now and she can get her car and he mothers day gift is in the seat since she wants to have such a nasty ass attitude and happy mothers day and slammed the apartment door and went to my room. That wasn’t even the bad part I got over it. She tells me she wants to take me to dinner the next day to apologize and talk. It never happens but idc I didnt bug her about it. But today i really wanted Chili’s and was like can you pay for my chili’s since you stood me up on our lunch date. mind you she has been drinking all day. and when i say all day i mean all fucking day. So i personally dont feel comfortable letting her drive me anywhere or go out in public with her. She says yes and gives me her card. I go out and get my food I’m taking my sweet time because im off of work and I really didn’t want to be home with her. she text me to bring her something back but i didnt see it until i got in the car. I know for a fact she didnt have plans because she was so drunk. so i texted her and told her my bf planned for us to see a movie i was going to meet him at the theater so i’ll be home later. she says no i want my car and starts going on a rant about her car. i tell her im bringing her car back. she continues to text me ignorant drunk text messages and says “stop telling people im drunk i have two jobs and go to work” im fed up with her drunkness and respond “its called a functioning alcoholic youre still a drunk” ik it was harsh but i honestly dont care because she is a drunk and im tired of being in the middle of her episodes. I’ll post Part two in a minute.

Hi. I’m sorry if the format for this is poor. I (21M) am writing this on my phone. I would like to start by saying please no judgment. Of course you’re your own person and I cannot control what you do, however I am 100% no doubt my biggest critic and that is judgment and punishment enough, believe me. I’m a prisoner of my own mind. I’d also like to preface this isn’t me seeking counseling or therapy on here. I’m seeking advice on how to deal with my temper.
I am a truck driver. I’m a flatbedder so my job is very physically demanding (I don’t like exercise so this is good for me) however it comes with a lot of tasks that are not worth the time for what I get paid for, which is really not enough for what I do. A lot of it is free labor. This does cause a lot of stress but I really feel like it doesn’t have anything to do with my temper. It does make my temper act out though. I recently got a dog in late January of this year. I love him to pieces though he’s proven he’s just not a smart dog. Like at all. No matter how much I discipline him he’s just not getting it. He’s going on 6 months now. I picked up my german shepherd the day he turned 8 weeks. So he’s been in the truck a lot by now. He should be starting to get it. He is not.
This is where it’s getting bad. I had a really nice truck. 2024 freightliner. It’s a company truck but you’re supposed to treat it and care for it like your own, after all it is what pays the bills. I paid $1,000 for him to be approved to be in the truck per my companies pet policy. Most of it is refundable when I leave the company. However if they deem it necessary they will charge me even more. He’s shit and pissed on the driver and passenger seats more times than I can count and peed on my bed far too often. I wash my bedding 2-3 times a week most weeks because of him. Yes there are times he doesn’t go out for a while. But there are also times he does and he still does it. Just now I went to take him out and he just peed all. over. the. place. as I was going to put his leash on. He sprayed all over a brand new white shirt my mom got me that I loved and wore like twice.
It’s just so excessive and it’s pushed me over my limit. I love him. But this is ridiculous. I refuse to be one of those pet owners who just gets rid of their pet when it hasn’t even been a whole year but come on. This is where I let myself go and lose control. I just get so angry and it getting worse and worse because he just. won’t. listen. I do hit my dog. I don’t punch him, I don’t kick him, I don’t throw him. Nor would I ever. I hit him and sometimes I lose control and I just get so angry I just keep going and going. Even after all is said and done I’ll still look at him and just get so mad at what he just did again and hit him once more. I do usually always shower him with love to let him know I do still love him. But no matter what I even try to do he still won’t get it. This isn’t a post about seeking advice for my dog, however. I will keep trying with him because that’s what pet owners do. But when I act like this, I physically hate myself.
It makes me not want to be alive anymore. It makes me feel so invalidated and sad. All my life I’ve wanted someone to love, a life partner. But when I lose my temper it makes me feel unworthy of not only finding love but even having friends or feeling any type of emotion, really. I would NEVER harm a person. I had an ex boyfriend that I was with for 9.5 months who was the most mentally/emotionally abusive person I’ve ever met. Never once did I lay a finger on him to purposefully hurt him. I hate feeling so worthless and invalidated. I know im not this person. I don’t get off on being angry. I hate it. I want to control my emotions better. But in the moment it just gets so hard. This doesn’t just happen with my dog. It happens with a lot of things such as my job too. Only then I just get anxious and say stupid crap I don’t really mean. Any advice would be great, please and thank you.

College Breakup
My boyfriend (‘19M’) broke up with me (‘19F’) three days after returning home from living together at a dorm for a year. We spent fall semester and spring semester together in a dorm and then after three days of returning home, he breaks up with me, I’m heartbroken and I want him back but doesn’t want me. He broke up with me in person. But it was rushed. We have been together for two years high school sweethearts. After he left, he had sent me this text message
None of it was fake Mia. Everything I did, I did it with the best intentions. You’re were everything to me despite my confusion. I just don’t think we’re right for each other. I don’t want you to change. I don’t want you to think it’s you. I know that it seems that I led you on, and maybe I did but I don’t see it that way. I knew I cared for you, I knew you were one of my best friends but I was just confused. I don’t know what it is but I just don’t feel the type of love I should be feeling. It’s just not fair that you feel what you should be feeling in the relationship and I’m not. It’s been eating me up inside Mia. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be doubting my own feelings because I know that isn’t love. I shouldn’t be doubting. I shouldn’t be unsure if you’re the right one for me. That isn’t the love this relationship needs. I’m sorry
And return I sent this text message back to him at 2 AM 😭😭😭
I don’t know how to start this text because the more I replay our conversation you started it off with I think we should break up. Meaning I had a chance to voice why we shouldn’t and why I should stay with you and cherish you and love you and listen to you, but I didn’t. I started to cry and choke up on my words, all I could say was don’t do this. I can’t deny that it has been a hard semester for us. I have been dealing with depression that comes and goes, causing me to be unproductive, and I understand how that can be seen as unattractive and confusing to you because I don’t wake up in time to go see your games, but will tell you heart That I love you and I want to be there for you. I get why you’re confused and it’s my fault. We hurried into relationship out of lust because we love to have sex with each other. It’s weird to think that we started the relationship not really talking to each other because we were moaning in one ear too much to care about what we thought. And when we would talk, we would forget you mean so much to me Samuel and I’m so sorry I didn’t have the correct morals to show that to you when I first met you, let me take accountability how I started our relationship but also let me that we are a team. I want to make decisions with you. I want to continue learning with you. I want to be sober. I don’t want to forget any detail about you. I understand the importance of communication hence why I’m sending you this Bible ass text message. I’m ready to have those tough conversations with you. Rebuilding trust won’t be easy because of let you down countless times, but please don’t let me end the conversation with we are just breaking up. We aren’t two different people we are sarcastic, stubborn, caring, charismatic, driven/lazy motivated people. Truthfully, when you said, we are two different people I don’t think that’s the worst thing it takes someone out of your comfort zone to grow and further develop into the person you want to become, I love you Samuel . I know you say people can’t change but I’m living proof because I feel more logical after meeting you. Lol I’m stronger emotionally unless I’m on my period. I’m a little bitch. Please don’t close yourself off to the idea of change. If you fell out of love with me, still consider me one of your best friends. You still have a platonic love for me remember one argument we had and I ended it with maybe we should go back to the basics and you said well I already know the basics about you, maybe we were looking at a relationship wrong. Every day we should have questions and curiosities left unanswered the day before that we questioned to each other. I just don’t wanna lose you somewhat. I’m willing to change my approach at a relationship to save this one now though I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with how we love each other, we just need more structured foundation that satisfies both of our love languages and doesn’t leave us feeling lonely and like we aren’t going through this together. I wanna fold clothes for you. I wanna make you feel good. I want to be your wife, but I also don’t want to force you to love me hence why am giving you a week to think about things. If you do want to talk by the end of the week, so maybe rekindle our relationship I don’t think we should go back directly to us having sex so often also setting clear intentions for each other even though that’s kind of gay but we both are hurting because of this break up and need to accept that we both need boundaries to be able to be individuals but also also a team team.
I’m heartbroken and just want to get back together with him. I feel manipulated because we had sex almost every day up into leaving college. I feel kind of used and let on if he tells me he’s not romantically in love with me, but he’s still considers me one of his best friends. It means he still must have some type of , love for me.
I haven’t texted him since the break up and don’t intend to text him for a week. Can I get advice for anyone going through a similar situation?
Should I even want to get back with him?
He never even responded to my text so I don’t even know if you want to meet up in a week to discuss anything

i hardly have used reddit but i wanted to get feedback/advice about this situation. my boyfriend's dad was taking us to the airport as we had spent the week visiting from out of state. as we are driving on a 2 lane road, we get right beside a large truck with a large trailer attached to the back. the lane then starts merging into one and the truck/trailer speeds up at the last minute to try and get get around us very aggressively. my boyfriend's dad was not expecting him to speed up like that, so he tried to also speed up and come out in front to not be stuck behind the truck driving unpredictably. the truck/trailer would not let us pass to the point he was running my boyfriend's dad onto the other side of the road with oncoming traffic. my boyfriend's dad let up off the gas and got behind him and the truck/trailer stuck his arm out the window and flipped the bird at my boyfriend's dad, then he pulled off onto the right side of the road in the dirt. my boyfriend is a fighter and his dad ex military and they were both ready to do something (though i don't necessarily condone violence, i could see why they were both pissed). my boyfriend's dad pulled up right beside the truck's driver side door and my boyfriend rolled the passenger window down to confront him. as he did this, the truck guy got out and immediately started pushing on the passenger door to keep my boyfriend locked in AND THEN he threw a punch INTO the passenger window and clocked my boyfriend in the eye and pissed my boyfriend off so bad. my boyfriend forced the passenger door open and pushed the guy back into his vehicle. his dad also jumped out of the driver side at this point and the altercation began. my boyfriend threw a punch back at the guy and they went down onto the ground. THEN THE GUY PULLS OUT A BOX CUTTER to try and start stabbing my boyfriend which my boyfriend's dad caught just in time luckily before he could really stick him with it. however he did slice his upper arms up a little before my boyfriend's dad could grab the cutter away. he threw it into the road and yelled "he's got a razor!". i jumped out because i was so scared he had stabbed my boyfriend, then this truck guy's WIFE jumps out and starts to jump on top of my boyfriend who is on top of her husband. she was using her nails to scratch my boyfriend and my boyfriend's dad yanked her off and told her to stay off the two of them as they fought/told me to just get back in the car (i listened). i was just standing on the side of the road freaking the fuck out completely unsure as to what to do and trying to diffuse the situation by telling my boyfriend to get back in the truck anyways and not being much help. after my boyfriend punched the guy one or two more times to subdue him in a sense, i guess, he got up off of the guy and stood up and went "alright" and jumped back in the car like everything was all taken care of along with his dad. the guy stood up off the ground and just watched us drive off finally as his wife recorded my boyfriend's dad's license plate. the truck guy's face was a little scuffed from the punches but beyond that he looked ok and the only injuries my boyfriend/his dad sustained were box cutter scratches (not scarily deep thankfully) and fingernail scratches from the truck guy and wife. it was the scariest thing i have seen. so basically what i am asking in this group is what kind of repercussions could my boyfriend and his dad have for this altercation when it was clear the truck guy's intentions were really violent? can they still get any kind of charge for this situation even though the white trash truck guy THREW A PUNCH INTO THE PASSENGER WINDOW? i am not saying any of what happened was right or that my boyfriend/his dad should have stopped at all but i'd be so devastated if anyone got a charge or a lawsuit of some kind because of this. this happened in the california hi desert, where i assume stuff like this happens a lot given how many trashy people live there. if they report his dad's plate numbers to the police, are they even likely to follow up? especially given that his intentions were clearly violent?
tldr: what kind of repercussions can there be when someone gets your license plate after a road rage altercation? what if the person who reports it is technically in the wrong?
thanks in advance.

OOC: co-written with NotTooSunny
It was an ordinary day at the New York City Library. People wandered in and out of the building, unaware of the monster that lurked among them.
The only people who seemed to know the danger these mortals were in were Harper and Amon, who entered the building with glowing bronze swords at their hips. The bulky weapons seemed to have escaped the notice of the other library patrons, which was a good thing. The job description had made it clear that they were meant to remain inconspicuous in completing their task.
Harper had traded her usual bright orange camp shirt for a more discrete cropped black t-shirt and pleated pants. She had been insistent on coming up with a persona for them on the train ride from Montauk Station into New York City. They were meant to act as high school students researching for a World History paper on Ancient Greece. Now that they were inside the library, she had stopped her incessant rambling to peruse a riddle book, in what she had insisted was preparation for their job.
As they wandered through the bookshelves, she remained absorbed in the dog-eared children’s book, thumbing through the pages to find a riddle that would be fitting of a sphinx.
“Here’s one, Amon,” she said, narrowly avoiding a collision with another library patron as she read, “What is something that runs but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?”
The dark-haired son of Apollo glanced over from a shelf of dusty atlases, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. “That is an easy one,” he replied simply. "River. Try me with something more challenging next time around." He adjusted the collar of his striped button down, which he had layered with a navy blue sweater in preparation for the chill of the air-conditioned interior.
“The real riddle is where we can find this sphinx,” Amon glanced around the spacious reading area, eyeing the dark wooden staircase with its ornate railings. “The boyfriend and girlfriend who tried this last time, they found her by a bookcase.”
“A bookcase,” Harper repeated derisively, closing her book to theatrically scan their surroundings. “That narrows it down.”
Ignoring Harper’s mockery, the son of Apollo paused suddenly, his dark eyes glazing over with concentration. His hearing dulled, the surrounding footsteps and rustling pages fading into the background as if muffled by a thick curtain. Amon searched for the energy signature of the monster he knew lurked among the mortals. It was a subtle shift, like trying to discern a whisper in a crowded room, but he felt a faint, abnormal energy hanging somewhere up above.
“I say we try the second floor,” he said as he snapped out of the tracking trance, offering no other explanation to Harper.
“We could do that, sure,” Harper said, words laced with blatant doubt at his sudden certainty. “I say we try asking the Visitor’s Center. I know she's supposed to be disguised by the Mist, but the librarians have to have noticed something.”
“You can go ahead and do that.” The small smirk from earlier was now spreading across his face. “But you can’t be upset if I find the sphinx and solve her riddle before you even get there.”
Harper rolled her eyes, but she made no attempt to stop Amon from walking towards the staircase. After a moment she set off after him, footsteps even against the wooden steps.
Up on the second floor, Amon moved quietly, his dark eyes scanning the hallway for anything out of the ordinary.
I know you’re up here.
He stopped at every heavy-looking mahogany door, peering through each muted glass insert. He felt the air grow thicker with ominous energy at every step, so he knew the monster must be near.
One of the doors was slightly ajar, a suspiciously open invitation. Or a trap. The dark-haired boy caught sight of a cat-shaped figure on the other side before ducking down and motioning sharply for Harper’s attention. He unsheathed his kopis from his belt, bracing himself for confrontation.
Harper crouched against the wall, hand on the hilt of her sword as she tried to peek through the frosted glass pane. She held her breath, ready to move at Amon’s signal. He held out three fingers and then put them down one by one. When he hit zero, they stood in unison, flinging the door open together.
When Amon and Harper stepped inside, the body of the sphinx lay motionless on the floor.
The rest of the room was in disarray, littered with disheveled chairs and broken bits of chalk. A window on the other side of the room had been forced open, the curtain fluttering in the wind.
“No way,” Harper said. The door clicked shut behind her as she pushed past Amon into the room and kneeled to study the monster’s limp figure.
The sphinx had the large body of a lion and the eerily human face of a middle-aged woman, hair tied back in a severe bun and foundation caked onto her high cheekbones. Fangs jutted out of her red-painted lips, and eagle wings sprouted out of the space between her shoulder blades, folded tight against her back.
“Monsters dissolve into dust when they die,” Amon remarked, keeping his distance as he watched the subtle rise and fall of the monster’s ribs. “She must have been knocked unconscious.”
“Right,” Harper agreed, “The real question is who. And why.”
She hovered a hand over the cat's shoulder, set on rousing her. Before she made contact, the sphinx's eyes snapped open, round irises surrounded by shocking yellow sclera.
"Slain!" she wailed. Harper staggered backwards. Amon’s arms instinctively reached out to catch her, but she didn’t stumble near enough to make contact. "I am slain!"
With feline grace, the sphinx rose to her feet. A white tape outline marked the placement of her previously prone body on the floor. The muscles in her legs rippled as she paced in front of Harper and Amon, massive velvet paws silent against the carpet.
"And you, my dear heroes," she roared, eyes narrowed in an accusatory glare, "were too late to save me!"
The sphinx sniffed, composing herself. She leapt onto a wooden table. The table legs creaked underneath her weight. "Fear not," she tutted, "Fear not. For you can still avenge me. If you are able to determine the murderer and their weapon, then I will obtain justice, and all will be right with the world.”
“Your riddle is a murder mystery,” Harper said, confusion written across her face. Amon raised an eyebrow. The sphinx chuffed, a low rumbling sound reminiscent of laughter.
“You sought that hackneyed question about man? The Sphinx that the storytellers remember is far less adaptive than I am. I am not interested in your ability to regurgitate the information you have read. Nor am I interested in taking advantage of the nonsensical rules of your English language.”
“I am here to satisfy my own curiosity: does modern mankind still possess the ability to engage in deductive reasoning, or do they only seek to make themselves appear intelligent? Do not speak,” the sphinx said, a pointed look at Harper, who had opened her mouth to interject, “You will answer my questions when you play my game.”
“The potential murder weapons are scattered throughout this room,” she continued, leaping off the table. “And the suspects have already provided their testimonies for your review. Rest assured, I have made certain that their statements contain no lies.”
A shimmering, translucent energy began to swirl around Harper and Amon’s feet, beginning to take shape as holograms with a flickering, ephemeral quality.
A projection of Cerberus materialized first, his three massive heads snarling and snapping in unison. A ribbon of text appeared by his paws to translate his growling: "I was guarding the entrance, my duty unbroken."
Next came the Minotaur, his towering form pacing within the labyrinth on Crete. He snorted and pawed at the ground, the holographic maze shifting behind him in the background. The translation text appeared: "Confined within these walls, no escape for me."
Lamia's projection flickered into view, her serpentine lower half coiled around her as she wept in her cave. She glanced mournfully at the holographic images of her lost children: "My grief consumes me, innocent of this crime."
A shimmering Hydra emerged next, its nine heads snapping at invisible foes. Each one moved independently, showcasing its ability to act on its own. The translation for the hissing head at the center read: "Engaged in battle, I could not have killed."
Typhon materialized with a thunderous roar, his colossal form fighting against restraints under Mount Etna. His immense size and power were palpable, even in scaled down holographic form: "Bound by chains of the earth, I could not have roamed free."
Echidna’s hologram appeared last, her form a mix of human and serpent, lounging in a dimly lit cave. She looked directly at the viewers, her expression both defiant and amused. The translation text by her side read: “I dwell in my lair, uninvolved in such petty affairs.”
The sphinx swiped at the last projection as it faded, deeming her handiwork satisfactory. “There is not enough information to deduce the killer using evidence alone. Because I am fair, I will provide you with three hints before your final guess. Be forewarned: if you fail to provide a correct answer, you will both perish. Is this understood?”
Harper spoke. “If we answer correctly, you will leave this library for good.”
“If you answer correctly, I will permanently relocate. It is a preferable option in comparison to another death. Now, do you agree to the terms and conditions?” the sphinx said primly, regarding Harper and Amon with casual disdain. The pair nodded. “Very well.”
The sphinx dropped onto the floor and let her head loll back, pretending to be dead once more.
Hint #1

Suspects	Weapons
Cerberus	The Shirt of Nessus
The Minotaur	Siren Song
Lamia	Harpy Talon
The Hydra	Celestial Bronze Sword
Typhon	A-C Encyclopedia
Echidna	Cerberus Fang

Soon after the Sphinx had laid back down, Harper and Amon began to scour the room. A small pile of prospective murder weapons formed on a nearby table.
“We can easily eliminate the siren song,” Amon rushed to speak over Harper, eyeing the small glass vial of swirling gray matter that they had found nestled behind a row of books on metalworking. “It is a luring mechanism, not a murder weapon.”
“We could rule out Cerberus’ fang too,” he pointed at the enormous yellowing tooth, about the size of the small baseball bat Amon used to have when he played in the little league. “If we take the hologram as ground truth, all of his teeth were intact there.”
Harper used her kopis to prod at the stained tunic that had been hidden in a desk drawer, being careful not to touch it with bare skin. “The Shirt of Nessus is a viable option. It would be easy for any of the suspects to lay it down and wait for the hydra venom to kick in.”
“I am not ready to rule out the bronze sword either,” Amon noted. “Monsters have access to heroes and the weapons they leave behind.”
“Most of these monsters don’t even have opposable thumbs,” Harper argued, running a hand over the sword they had found by a power outlet. ”They don’t have the dexterity to wield a sword.”
“I do not imagine that the technicality would be that granular.”
Harper laughed. “Oh, the number of teeth in the Cerberus hologram tell all, but we’re drawing the line at opposable thumbs.”
“I suppose that that logic would also rule out the harpy talon and the encyclopedia easily as well,” Amon admitted. “Which would be too easy.”
“I’m just that good at logical deduction.” Harper said proudly. “If my assumption is correct, then the poisoned shirt is the only one that makes sense.”
Amon scoffed, folding his arms across his chest as his dark eyes bored into Harper. “It would not necessarily matter what our first guess would be anyway.”
“Can you provide an argument for any other weapon? Or are you intent on purposely making an illogical guess?” she countered cooly.
“Fine,” Amon acquiesced. “Since you are so adamant about the shirt, we can guess the shirt, and be incorrect. It does not matter. What about the suspects themselves?” He clasped his hands behind his back, his steps measured as he started to pace across the plush red carpet of the room.
Harper smiled, smugly accepting her victory. She strode towards a chalkboard at the side of the study room, inscribing the list of weapons and suspects with a fresh piece of white chalk.
“All of them have alibis,“ she began. “I think that-”
“Some make more sense than others,” Amon spoke over Harper, irritated by her minor triumph. “Cerberus, for example, is under the service of Hades. He says he did not leave his post, and he could not have done so without permission or dire consequences on the process of the dead.”
Harper silently seethed as Amon spoke, meeting his rationale with reluctant acceptance before starting again in a louder, exaggerated tone. “I think that the ones with the shakiest alibis are Lamia, the Minotaur, Typhon, and Echidna. No witnesses can confirm their locations. In fact, Lamia provides no location at all.” Harper circled those names. She looked at Amon with a forced smile, allowing him a moment to provide more commentary.
“Lamia? Well,” there was a hint of mockery in the sneer that tugged on the corner of Amon’s lips. “I would imagine her emotions rendered her… Too fragile and unstable to carry out such an act.”
“You’re kidding,” Harper scoffed, searching Amon's face for the slightest hint that he was joking. “Her grief is what moved her to kill children in the first place. I doubt it would suddenly be incapacitating. She’s just appealing to your sense of superiority, and I can’t believe that you’re falling for it.”
"It is not about superiority. It is about logic," Amon retorted, bristling in defense. “You cannot deny that emotions cloud judgment. Maybe the sphinx wants us to leverage our knowledge about her past crimes to reason that she was not thinking clearly in this case either.” Amon had no other evidence that pointed towards Lamia as the top suspect, but he had dug deep enough where he was now ready to stand firm in his reasoning.
“Murder,” Harper countered, eyes narrowed in a venomous stare, “-does not require you to think clearly. Haven’t you heard of a crime of passion? If anyone’s judgment is clouded right now, Amon, it’s yours.”
The son of Apollo squared his shoulders, his expression hardening. "I understand the concept of crimes of passion, thank you.” His dark-eyed stare returned Harper's gaze, unflinching at the intensity. “But our investigation must be rooted in facts, not assumptions based on emotions. And the facts are,” he resumed his pacing once more, “that Lamia cannot be the culprit, as she is the only suspect that openly admits to being innocent of this crime.”
Amon had considered this from the very start, but provoking Harper like this had proved to be far more amusing.
Harper crossed Lamia’s name off of the board. She swallowed down her anger, fighting the urge to continue pressing the issue in favor of returning to their list of suspects. She pointed her piece of chalk at the next names on the list. “The Minotaur and Typhon are trapped, or so they say. How could they have done anything?”
“Their alibis revolve around their inability to escape,” Amon pointed out. “Not that they were unable to commit murder. The Labyrinth, in fact,” he raised a dramatic finger, “has several moving passages that could have permitted the Minotaur to move and commit murder without an official escape.”
Harper considered his words for a long moment, trying to find the flaw in his reasoning. Seeing none, she placed a dot next to the Minotaurs's name.
“Typhon escaped his prison in the Second Titanomachy. He could do it again,” Harper said thoughtfully. “Though I don’t understand why he would do something like this. He’s the Sphinx's father. The same goes for Echidna.”
Amon, who had been nodding at Harper’s assessment of Typhon’s abilities, pursed his lips at her observation of parentage. “I do not see how this could possibly be relevant to the logical puzzle at hand.”
Harper spoke slowly, as if the answer was obvious. “What motive would they have to kill their own daughter?”
“Harper,” Amon began curtly, folding his arms across his chest. “Half of the Greek myths revolve around immortals killing their own children.”
“Then we should pick one of them,” Harper declared, pivoting her argument instead of admitting her logical blunder. “They would have more of a motive than the rest of the suspects, if anything.”
“The Minotaur can escape much more easily than Typhon can. Motive aside, it is the most logical guess,” Amon concluded, adjusting his collar haughtily. “I will remind you that we picked your choice of weapon. It is only fair that I select the monster.”
“Fine.” Harper agreed, her gaze stormy as she turned back towards the sphinx. “We accuse the Minotaur of killing the sphinx with the Shirt of Nessus.”
The sphinx opened one eye. “None of these are correct!”
Hint #2

Suspects	Weapons
Cerberus	The Shirt of Nessus
The Minotaur	Siren Song
Lamia	Harpy Talon
The Hydra	Celestial Bronze Sword
Typhon	A-C Encyclopedia
Echidna	Cerberus Fang

“Two more hints left.” Harper announced, crossing off the Minotaur’s name and the poisoned shirt on the chalkboard with a flourish. It was not ideal that her initial logical deductions had been incorrect, but at least Amon had also been wrong. She couldn't resist a snide comment. “I knew it wasn’t the Minotaur.”
“So you still think it’s Typhon.” Choosing to ignore Harper’s taunting, Amon rested his hand on a nearby desk, studying the lists on the chalkboard before him. He had taken the Minotaur error as a personal failure, and was determined to get the suspect right this time.
“I do.”
“Why not Echidna?”
“She’s too emotional to kill someone, obviously.” Harper said sarcastically. “Her frail female arms are probably too weak to even hold a weapon.”
The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes. “Objectively,” he began, ignoring her quip once more, “Typhon could not have lied about his inability to roam free. A natural disaster freed him from Mount Etna during the Second Titanomachy, but he could not recreate those conditions on his own.” Though his tone remained aloof, it was clear that Amon was relishing in the opportunity to flaunt his mythology knowledge.
“Maybe,” Harper argued, stubborn. “But Echidna’s statement was less ambiguous than his. Typhon just explains his predicament; he doesn't provide a real claim. Echidna explicitly says she was not involved.” She thought for a few more moments, rolling the piece of chalk in her hands. “Echidna could have released him? They would be accomplices.”
Amon shook his head. “There was a single murderer. Not two. The sphinx would not lie about the premise of the game.”
Harper stared at him coldly, but could offer no rebuttal. She turned her attention to the board. “Typhon is a giant. He’s capable of using the sword.”
“But the specificity of Echidna’s denial is still incredibly suspicious. ‘Petty affairs’ is a strange way to phrase a murder. But,” Amon added reluctantly, “I understand the logic behind Typhon. I suppose it is your turn to choose the monster, and we will still have another guess to work with.”
“As for the weapon,” he continued, “I still think the sword is the most viable option, given that the siren song and the fang can be ruled out and the shirt with the venom was, well,” Amon pursed his lips, fighting the urge to smile, “incorrect.”
Before Harper could interject, Amon turned towards the sphinx at the front of the room. “We accuse Typhon of killing the sphinx with a Celestial Bronze Sword.”
“One of these is correct!”
Hint #3

Suspects	Weapons
Cerberus	The Shirt of Nessus
The Minotaur	Siren Song
Lamia	Harpy Talon
The Hydra	Celestial Bronze Sword
Typhon	A-C Encyclopedia
Echidna	Cerberus Fang

“Aha!” Amon raised a triumphant finger before pointing it at Harper. “I told you,” he gloated, “Typhon had no escape route.”
“You were right,” Harper admitted, staring down at the carpet so that she would not have to look at his smug expression.
“Let’s get this over with,” she muttered, and turned back towards the lioness with crossed arms. “We accuse Echidna of killing the sphinx with a Celestial Bronze Sword”
“One of these is correct,” the sphinx announced. Her mouth twisted in amusement, fangs bared in a menacing smile.
READ PART 2 HERE

Okay I know how this sounds, but hear me out first. Buckle in it’s gonna be a long one. My boyfriend, R (23M) and I, CK (24F) been together a little over a year and a half although it certainly hasn’t always been easy, we get along pretty well. My only complaint is that he is nice, too nice. He always bends over backwards for people who don’t deserve it AKA, his family.
My boyfriend is in college, drives a beater car, and works part time and a convenience shop, so to say he is broke is kind of an understatement. That doesn’t matter to me though, because I love him madly. This relationship is the most constructive and healthy connection I have ever been in. Anyway, we both live at home because rent prices, among other things are way too expensive. My boyfriend loves his family. It’s one of the qualities that really attracted me to him, because I do not have a good relationship with my own family. Although it was endearing at the start, I now think they are taking advantage of him.
He is a personal chauffeur to his unappreciative little sister. He is constantly cutting our time short to go take her to hair appointments that he pays for, work, school, shopping, and anywhere else she wants to go without any notice for FREE. I don’t think I have ever heard her say thank you to him. Half of the time we are together when she calls him so he has to use my car to take her places. More of the same with his parents, when they call he magically transforms into an InstaCart shopper or a DoorDasher before my eyes (cue eye roll.) They also think we spend too much time together, so they have recently enacted a curfew which I think is outrageous considering he is a 23 year old MAN and he does so much for them. All they do is command him to do things, and he does it no questions asked.
His birthday was last week right before Mother’s Day. Unsurprisingly, no one in his household bought him a present for his birthday. I, of course, got him a gift and a mini cake for his birthday to make him feel special and appreciated since he does a lot for me and my son. He took it home and placed in the fridge and jokingly said “I hope no one eats it.” When he said that it absolutely ticked me off, and of course a day later before he could even have a piece, they demolished it. I know it may seems minor but, his family has a habit of taking things from him without permission. For context, one Christmas I bought him a set of cologne and planned the two of us a trip for new years. We had an amazing time together and it really solidified that this is what I wanted in a relationship. Long story short, we came back from our trip, he went into his room to see that the very expensive cologne I bought him was now missing. My heart sank when he told me this. I told him straight up he needs to stand up for himself and if this continues he is allowing them to continue this behavior. But as always he turned it into a joke.
Anyway, we had plans today. We were both off work, which is rare. We haven’t really had much time to celebrate his birthday from last week because like I said previously he works at a convenience store and has crazy hours, while I work a 9-5 as well as caring for my son who is in Pre-K. We have both been raving about a posh little restaurant downtown that we have wanted to go to for quite some time now. I wanted to make a reservation for lunch because I knew for sure his sister and my son would be in school, so we were completely free for a little while. I mean it sounds like it would all work out right? WRONG. It never does.
His sister typically gets out of school at 3:30 PM then she goes home to get dressed for work and needs to be dropped off there around 4:00-5:00 PM. Keeping this in mind I set our reservation for 12:30 PM. Anyway we get there a bit late, but we were still able to be seated and our lunch went well. We were near a mall with time to spare, so we decided we would stop by to window shop. We walked around for a bit and the time flies by. Suddenly it was 2:30 PM his sister goes absolutely crazy and blows his phone completely up. I asked him was everything okay and did we need to leave since we drove my car there together. He insisted everything was fine and we continued our shopping. I curiously asked him what time he planned to leave and he said we would go at 3:00 which was fine with me.
We lost track of time and we ended up leaving later than intended at about 3:15 PM, but we were only about 20 minutes away and we wouldn’t have her waiting very long. As we’re driving she is still going crazy blowing his phone up constantly asking where he was as he was driving. I was getting annoyed because we were going to go and get her in my car, when she’s so unappreciative of her brother and his efforts to keep her happy and to help her. I held my tongue though because I could hear the agitation increase within his voice as they spoke and I felt as if I would only make things worse. My boyfriend is very sweet and it isn’t often that he gets angry, so she was really pushing his buttons.
She called him a whopping 10 times during a 20 minute drive, and at one point they had a screaming match on the phone and he told her, “You knew I was busy and not at home, why didn’t you ask one of our parents to get you if you wanted to be picked up without having to wait?” Their house is only 8 minutes away from the school so I was beyond ticked off and annoyed at this point. When we finally arrived at her school admittedly a little late, she is nowhere to be found. We waited for a while for her and he called to see where she was, apparently she caught a ride from a friend to be dropped off at her aunts house. The rage I felt in that moment was unparalleled. If they could take you to your aunts house why didn’t they take you home?!
Anyway within the commotion I asked him to swing by my son's school so we could pick him up. I then asked him which one would “come first” purely referring to the geographic location of each person considering I didn’t want him to waste any more of my own gas. I guess I used the wrong choice of words.
He replied to me with something that stung me down to the core. He said, “My sister and my family will always come first.” He saw the surprised and hurt look on my face and quickly added, “but this is your car we can go get him first.” I was taken aback by that statement. I understand that family is blood related, but these people do not respect your time, privacy, hell even your freedom. After he said that the rest of the car ride was a blur and I truly felt like I was overreacting at first. We planned to take my son to the park after we dropped his sister off but I ended up telling him I didn’t feel well and we had to cancel. I’m at a loss here guys. Do I have any right to feel hurt by what he said to me? I mean this is the man I planned on creating a family with, becoming old with. Now I’m not so sure. Help me out here and lmk if I am the A-Hole.

Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/WcUX9AP
Good gravy, these visuals. This is the most visual flair they've ever had in a battle up until this point. More on the particulars later. Unfortunately the music is comparatively pretty weak and unmemorable, with the notable exception of the track that plays during Austin Powers' bits.
So, Daniel Craig Bond's first verse. "[insert Bond villains here] were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are." that's a decent burn, but man, I always feel bad for Austin Powers when Bond says this. Powers looks genuinely hurt, quit bullying Powers, Craig Bond! "I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot; Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!" Intellectually I acknowledge that there is some somewhat clever wordplay going on here, but I can't say I particularly care for these lines. The "I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!" is an alright diss I guess. The lines comparing their filmography and tying in You Only Live Twice into the diss... I dunno, something feels so rote and lifeless about this burn. It's competent, but it's not doing much for me. The best part of this verse is easily the "B on D/beyond me" diss, fun wordsmithing there. The closer is competent, reference to Golden Gun, sure, that's fine, but I ain't writing home about it. I'll go into more detail about this towards the end, but I'm not a fan of this verse, I think Craig Bond as a rapper is a fairly bland character and that the background visuals are having to compensate hard for his lifelessness.
Austin Powers opens his verse by acknowledging that he has been catfished by Craig Bond, which I think is a ton of fun. The visual of Austin Powers splitting into rainbow versions of himself as his track with the horns starts blaring is just fantastic. "Basil Exposition told me this would be boring; but Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!" This isn't a particularly clever line or a powerful diss, mostly seems like an excuse to drop a couple references, but I'm in full agreement with Austin Powers here. Craig Bond's performance was boring. Austin Powers proceeds to mock Craig Bond for his hairless body, contrasting it with his own glorious chest bush. I love how much confidence Austin has in his sexiness despite not being the least bit conventionally attractive. I also love this set with Austin, his buddy, and these women all rocking out. The computer-generated visuals of Craig Bond's backgrounds are impressive, sure, but actually having this wacky set made for the battle really elevates it to a new level in terms of presentation. And all these close-ups of Austin's eyes, mouth, and ass getting slapped... much more flair than their usual fare. Austin Powers threatens to hypnotize Craig Bond with a strip tease and I just... look, I'm not saying these are great lines, on paper Austin does not have the strongest disses, but this verse is just so FUN. The dancing and choreography with Austin's visuals are top-notch, love him slapping his ass on the spinning bed. "You're defenseless, my rhymes can't be deflected, you're like all the sex I've ever had: unprotected!" is genuinely hilarious. "People want a hero with a little personality; no one wants to sit through your gritty reality" is definitely encapsulating the vibe I feel on the question of James Bond vs. Austin Powers. Powers then goes in for a nice blow with the line about them making Thunderball twice. "I'm one of a kind, you're always getting remade" goes hard, even harder nowadays than it did back when this was made. "You can't touch me, double oh behave" is a cute reference, but it's not anything more than that, same tier of verse closer as Craig Bond's.
Then we have the misfortune of returning to Craig Bond's gritty reality. "I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown, I should... be on an island with a fucking model by now" is really weak. It feels ad-libbed. You're not too cool for this rap battle Craig Bond, you're actually not nearly cool enough. Craig throws in a reference to the penis pumping joke from Austin Powers, we get a little failed interjection from Powers, and that's fun. Craig Bond does get a strong blow in with "but I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics"; a powerful argument that you can't take away from Craig Bond.
Until Sean Bond comes in and takes that away from Craig Bond with a cheeky "I wouldn't exactly call you original". Good stuff. The BDSM joke is whatever. "Your performance doesn't stir me and I'm certainly not shaken" is an amusing reference to his famous quote, maybe a little obvious and corny, but what really helps sell it is the way it segueways into "if I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken". Fun! "I don't need a Q to break your balls" is some good wordplay. I remember watching this with my family years ago, and my father groaned at Bond's closing Gold Bond joke and said "That's terrible." and... yeah, I kind of have to agree. It's a good jab and the wordplay isn't without its wit, but there's something so goddamned cheesy about it. Can't help but roll my eyes when he smugly looks at the camera and says 'Gold Bond'. It's the phrasing and line delivery, I think. This joke might have landed better if they refrained from trying to tie it into that famous quote.
Austin Powers makes a valiant effort to get back in the battle, but gets bitch slapped for his troubles.
There's something so... for lack of a better term... beta about the way Craig Bond comes in and touches Sean Bond's arm to get his attention. "The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists" is accurate, albeit not the most clever.
Austin Powers shows Craig Bond up by carrying that line of argumentation further with an amusing bit about Sean Bond being a rapist. I love how uncomfortable Austin Powers seems.
"If they made a mini-me they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage"... that's so lame, guys. Come on.
"Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English" winds up seeming like way stronger of a burn than it is for the fact that Sean Bond takes so much offense to it he feels the need to slap Craig Bond hard for it. Austin's awed reaction in the background is quite funny.
"Why, Pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?" Har har har.
I like the way Craig Bond takes Sean Bond's wordplay and uses it to mount a counteroffensive, he delivers a couple real solid lines here.
Sean Bond's closer is pretty unremarkable. I guess I could charitably consider it to be of the same caliber as the closers for Craig Bond's and Powers' first verse closers, a cute little reference but nothing more. Austin Powers continues to be the best part of the battle as he rises up into the frame, enamored with his opponents.
Alright, so... I think Craig Bond gives one of the dullest and most unmemorable performances in ERB history. For one thing, his face is just not very expressive here; it's like he constantly has one facial expression. Even when his face is contorting a bit to try and express anger he still looks the same. I don't know to what extent that's just the actor's physical appearance, or if it's a deliberate choice as part of the Craig Bond persona, or what, but watching him perform feels like watching a flat line. It doesn't help that he just looks like some guy. Austin Powers and Sean Bond have very distinct and flashy appearances, but with Craig Bond it looks like they just brought in some random guy off the street and gave him a suit. Maybe that's accurate to Daniel Craig's Bond, but it's a problem for this rap battle regardless. This guy is so nondescript he's regularly getting upstaged by his backgrounds. Another issue I have with this battle is that it clearly does not respect the existence of Austin Powers as a rapper. I could be misremembering, but I believe I've heard that the creators said they didn't like the idea of a parody rapping against the character they're based on, and that this one ultimately got made because they could turn it into a Bond v. Bond battle. Personally I think the idea of having a parody go up against the original is vastly more interesting of a matchup and that Bond v. Bond is the thing that isn't really worth doing. I'd rather this have just been a battle between Austin Powers on one side with two verses and one or both of the Bonds on the other. I also want to say that this is one of the best and most un-NicePeter performances Peter has ever given; I had to go on the wiki and double-check to make sure Peter actually played him. I think Peter has an issue with a lot of his characters sounding same-y, but this sounds nothing like him. It doesn't look like him either; it's not just that the costuming is great, the dancing and mannerisms are real different from Peter's usual stuff. Just look at that pose he strikes on the right at 1:13. So good. One of Peter's best characters.
Anyhoo... I'd put this battle in B Tier, below Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters but above Robocop vs. Terminator. The Craig and Sean Bonds have their moments, but their parts greatly pale in comparison to Austin Powers... but even then, Austin Powers' verse isn't that great, it's more supremely entertaining than expertly written. It shapes out to being a solid battle that still leaves a lot to be desired.
I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm saying Austin Powers>Sean Bond>Craig Bond. Austin Powers is the entire reason I revisit this battle.

Long story short. Gay 19 year old brother is dating a 50 year old man and I'm the only one (bar my bro) who has any issue with it.
I'm the eldest of 8. I'm a bi man (31) married to a bi man (35) It took my parents a few years to accept my attraction but they managed to get over it.
My youngest brother is gay and luckily for him I came first so his coming out was far cleaner. He's 19 and has his first boyfriend. Our parents had already seen his boyfriend but my husband and I met him for the first time, last Saturday.
I'm not a prude (well maybe a little) but we came in and inside sitting down was a guy in his early 50s. I assumed they had a neighbour over until my bro introduced us. My husband knows him (not sexually).
I've hooked up with older guys. It can be hot but a 19 year old DATING a 50+ year old, I'm sorry like what? In what world is that OK and my parents just nodding along.
I spoke to our parents when the "couple" went out to buy wine for dinner (wine my brother can't even legally drink yet) and they were like they would prefer a younger date but it's his life and they learned from their mistakes with me. I was taken aback. Like sorry not accepting me being bi is not the same thing as not accepting a 30+ year gap where one is just an adult. My father was like cut it out. This is the way it is. If he's happy we support him. Tbh dad just didn't want to picture the relationship, imo.
I went out to my husband and he said ah your brothers safe. He's a nice guy. Stop over-reacting. So I calmed down and they came back we had dinner and played a few games and then i found out my brother is LIVING with him and no one saw an issue with it. I'm sorry but like when did I become the most judgey here.
The minute they left, I said so there's a 19 year old boy, in college, dating a 50+ year old man and living with him and no one sees a problem with it. He's basically a dependent of him and what is that man getting in return? My father said youre disgusting and just so you know he took time out of college. How does that make it better?. My mother said its probably hard, given how we treated you, to see us learn and give him an easier time. I was stunned to silence.
On the car trip home, the husband said it wasn't cool turning your parents against him. Let him be happy and I was like okaaaaaaaay.
And no its not because im jealous of how they treated me differently. Im delighted he didnt face what i got. I spoke to one of my sisters who met them the day after. She said the age gap is a bit weird but that's usual amongst gay men and the man seems to care about him what more do you want.
Honestly someone needs to get me a straight jacket because I think I might be going crazy or maybe I should just go full on MAGA2024 or something (that's a joke) and live amongst the conservatives
Edit: my father did say his only issue is hed rather if he dated a black person, we are black/Latino. I was like that's your problem. He could date a blue guy as long as there wasn't that age gap. My mother told me off for mocking the dead. I wasn't mocking the dead. Honestly.
Just got an message 🤣🤣. I'm not even going to say what it is but do you know what I don't care about it anymore. He's not my kid. I've done my bit as has his twin brother. The yes men can fix it when it goes off the rails.

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. We moved in with each other at around 9 months and things have changed between us significantly.
Initially my partner was incredibly attentive, was always wiling to listen to my good and bad days, thoughtful, considerate, romantic, understanding etc. Things were pretty good with us! I was shocked because I hadn't really experienced this type of relationship before. We had small tiffs but we were always able to talk about things and sort it out. Our sex life was pretty good! We both liked pleasing each other.
It was almost a immediate change since we moved in. My boyfriend became pretty distant, to me it seemed like he didn't really like having me around. I tried giving him space and you know let him figure out his routine. His work was pretty busy, as was mine. I was burnt out from work maybe a month into us living with each other. My sex drive reduced.
We still had sex maybe once a week, and occasionally twice a week. But admittedly I did start getting frustrated because my partner initiated sex every day, even though I had mentioned to him that my sex drive has reduced and I'm not overly keen on sex right now. A lot of the time I felt obliged and wasn't really into it. He also had changed a fair bit, and the only effort he really put in, was to hace sex (and even so it wasnt much effort and I didn't orgasm 80% of the time)
I noticed he stopped really taking interest in my life, stopped putting effort in with my family, he would often be on his phone when I was telling him things, we stopped going on dates. He knows I appreciate having a meal together, so I try to plan my dinner with his but often he would eat without me. We didn't do anything for our one year anniversary, I did plan a dinner but I ended up cancelling it because my partner was disinterest and indifferent to it. He seems to only compliment me physically (either my tits or ass) and rarely anything outside of that. It almost felt like he started to resent me and I wasn't really sure why. A few days ago I had a pretty scary road rage incident where someone ran me off the road and threatened me with a knife. My boyfriend said he would help me with the police report because I was really distraught. He never ended up helping me, he also didn't really seem to care that this happened. It was a bit shit, I thought he would have some sort of concern in regard to it but there wasn't. I got mad and vented my frustrations about his huge behaviour change since we've been living together.
He told me he kind of checked out emotionally when I wasn't really keen on sex. (I'd like to add that my sex drive improved since I started working normal hours again, which was about 2 months ago, so we have sex about 3 times a week) Hes told me that he doesn't feel these things intrinsically naturally ( like caring when bad things happen to your partner). But I feel like a lot of those things come pretty naturally if you love someone
My gut feeling is that, he doesn't actually love me, and wants someone to have sex with regularly. He does take steriods as well btw. If I don't keep up with him sexually he just disconnects, I don't want to feel like I have to have sex to have a present partner that cares for me. I used to feel cared and loved by him but now its like he's someone else.
What does this mean ?
tl;dr Boyfriend seems like a different person since we've moved in together. Only puts effort into having sex. It's left me incredibly confused, as he was someone I considered caring, thoughtful and pretty switched on. Now it feels like he resents me if I don't have sex or stay happy all the time

I will apologise in advance for the long post.
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. We moved in with each other at around 9 months and things have changed between us significantly.
Initially my partner was incredibly attentive, was always wiling to listen to my good and bad days, thoughtful, considerate, romantic, understanding etc. Things were pretty good with us! I was shocked because I hadn't really experienced this type of relationship before. We had small tiffs but we were always able to talk about things and sort it out. Our sex life was pretty good! We both liked pleasing each other.
It was almost a immediate change since we moved in. My boyfriend became pretty distant, to me it seemed like he didn't really like having me around. I tried giving him space and you know let him figure out his routine. His work was pretty busy, as was mine. I was burnt out from work maybe a month into us living with each other. My sex drive reduced.
We still had sex maybe once a week, and occasionally twice a week. But admittedly I did start getting frustrated because my partner initiated sex every day, even though I had mentioned to him that my sex drive has reduced and I'm not overly keen on sex right now. A lot of the time I felt obliged and wasn't really into it. He also had changed a fair bit, and the only effort he really put in, was to hace sex (and even so it wasnt much effort and I didn't orgasm 80% of the time)
I noticed he stopped really taking interest in my life, stopped putting effort in with my family, he would often be on his phone when I was telling him things, we stopped going on dates. He knows I appreciate having a meal together, so I try to plan my dinner with his but often he would eat without me. We didn't do anything for our one year anniversary, I did plan a dinner but I ended up cancelling it because my partner was disinterest and indifferent to it. He seems to only compliment me physically (either my tits or ass) and rarely anything outside of that. It almost felt like he started to resent me and I wasn't really sure why. A few days ago I had a pretty scary road rage incident where someone ran me off the road and threatened me with a knife. My boyfriend said he would help me with the police report because I was really distraught. He never ended up helping me, he also didn't really seem to care that this happened. It was a bit shit, I thought he would have some sort of concern in regard to it but there wasn't. I got mad and vented my frustrations about his huge behaviour change since we've been living together.
He told me he kind of checked out emotionally when I wasn't really keen on sex. (I'd like to add that my sex drive improved since I started working normal hours again, which was about 2 months ago, so we have sex about 3 times a week) Hes told me that he doesn't feel these things intrinsically naturally ( like caring when bad things happen to your partner). But I feel like a lot of those things come pretty naturally if you love someone
My gut feeling is that, he doesn't actually love me, and wants someone to have sex with regularly. He does take steriods as well btw. If I don't keep up with him sexually he just disconnects, I don't want to feel like I have to have sex to have a present partner that cares for me. I used to feel cared and loved by him but now its like he's someone else.
What does this mean ?
tl;dr Boyfriend seems like a different person since we've moved in together. Only puts effort into having sex. It's left me incredibly confused, as he was someone I considered caring, thoughtful and pretty switched on. Now it feels like he resents me if I don't have sex or stay happy all the time

Me M/21 and her F/21 met lately last year in December after I had finally gotten a job I've wanted within my college at the school gym. I had seen her around quote a bit before and thought she was very kind and pretty but I didn't know her and hadn't found the confidence in myself to talk to her. After getting this position, I found myself around her more, talking to her more and eventually we both knew we had an interest in each other. I asked her for her number and if she wanted to hangout (go on a date) and she was all about it. We went on a date, had a great time and the next morning I was hit with a "I think it's better that we just stay friends." While I was ok with this and was ready to move on, I get a text from her a month later just saying "hey, how was your day?" At first I didn't think anything of it but as time went on I could tell she liked talking to me a lot. This went on for another month and so I asked if she wanted to hangout sometime again, and she was down to do so. Something flipped within a 24 hour period where she was dodging hanging out and didn't seem interested anymore. Eventually she stopped talking to me and then found out she had started seeing another guy. I was really confused, and annoyed and just felt stabbed in the back, even if that wasn't really the case. I figured she just liked me for attention, so from then on I just focused on myself, work, school and friends. Eventually (a few months later) I found out she wasn't even dating this guy at all and that he hadn't treated her well towards the end. Me being me, I told myself that I really didn't want to regret not trying with this girl one last time and putting everything I had left into it, because I knew if I didn't then I would kick myself over it. So I tried again, we talked a bunch, hungout a few times and eventually I ask her out on a real date. Right after I asked her I could tell she wasn't interested in a date and kind of regretted it. I was then told by a homie (boyfriend of her bestfriend) that he overheard her say that she likes that I'm persistent but isn't interested. Later on the next day (Easter) I get a text saying "Can I ask why you are so persistent on things between us?" And I responded with "I truly value you as a person and I see something with us, and when I truly value a person I have a hard time letting them go. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable, that's the last thing I want to do." I get no text the rest of the night and in the morning when I see her at work, she doesn't mention it whatsoever. It had been bugging me so I brought it up and low and behold she says the same thing as before. "I tried dating and it's just not something I wanna do right now." I hear that and I'm ready to be her friend but she gives me this hot and cold approach and i never know what to do. Now I think about her all the time and that maybe there's a chance in the future when I shouldn't be thinking this at all. I wanna move on but can't, I wanna be able to date and see other people but I feel like I'm making myself unavailable in case she comes back. It's unhealthy, especially with a girl I never dated, but since I work with her I gotta see her everyday and as I get to know her more, I realize how much we have in common (politics, music taste, points of view, interests) but I can't share any of it with her and it's eating me alive.
I guess I mainly want help on how to deal with it? If anyone has some advice or similar experiences I'd love to hear them. Thank you for reading

My boyfriend (25M) and I (29F) have been together for a little over a year. I want to preface this with this is the best relationship I’ve ever been in. He’s attractive, funny and treats me like a queen. However, the issue I’m having is that recently I feel like many of our conversations fall flat and are overall just… boring.
It wasn’t like this when we first got together at all. I felt there was a lot of chemistry, he asked a lot of deep questions, really listened to me and I did the same for him. I felt like there was endless topics for us to discuss and we were genuinely curious about one another. There was a fun banter when we were still getting to know each other.
Now that we know each other better, some of that chemistry is gone. It’s like we’ve both reverted to asking the same basic questions “how was your day?” “what are your plans tonight?” Etc. Sometimes I’ll be in a talkative mood and I’ll inquire about other parts of his life like family, how he is genuinely feeling, and his friends, but he doesn’t go too deep and often doesn’t have much to say and then the convo stops there. Recently I’ve noticed he doesn’t ask me many questions beyond surface level anymore. We spend a lot of time being in silence or just watching tv.
If I’m telling him about one of my interests, sometimes I see his eyes wandering and it’s so apparent he doesn’t care. He’s just waiting for me to stop talking so he can make a comment like “that’s cool baby” and then move on. & just as a disclaimer it is NOT that I won’t stfu, if it’s something I’m passionate about I love to talk deeply about the subject but for the most part I am not a rambler and i am concise with my words. He also has a habit of straight up interrupting me when he does have something to say which adds to my feeling that he actually doesn’t care about what I’m communicating.
We have a few overlapping interests but for the most part we are into different things. Which I didn’t think would be a big deal bc I am genuinely curious about his interests and I love asking him about them but the curiosity doesn’t seem to be reciprocated.
Lately when we’re sittin in silence I feel myself racking my brain about deeper questions to ask him but my brain is just blank. I’m not sure if it’s bc when I try to go deeper he doesn’t have much of a response so I’m just used to that or what the issue is.
What are some deeper questions I can ask to really engage him? How do we get that initial spark of conversation back? Do most relationships get boring after you really know each other? How do I talk to him about this? I want us to be together but deep conversation is so important to me, I need something to reignite this part of our relationship.
tl;dr - conversation with my(29F) boyfriend (25M) has become boring and surface level. He doesn’t ask deep questions and sometimes it feels like he’s completely uninterested when I speak. He doesn’t offer much when I ask him deep questions and this leaves me sitting in silence thinking “what do we talk about??” We used to have an undeniable chemistry, how do I get that back? What questions do I ask him to actually engage him?

I was with my ex for a year before he broke up with me. Mine F (22) and he’s M (24). During our honeymoon stage we was so in love and enjoyed each other company. We met in late November and we were friends with benefits. We use to hang iut together. We use to sleep in my car to be together. No clothes and just a blanket. We didn’t care as long as we had each other. We were fine. When we were together we didn’t see no one but each other. I got pregnant in December and got a abortion in march. We already had a kid on the way and he wasn’t ready to have another one. He didn’t have a car, he worked at food lion, he had a apartment, and he didn’t have much. I didn’t want to the abortion but it was the best decision at the time for us. I use to help him get his son and pick me up. I picked him up from work, pick him uo from interviews, helped him get a new phone when his old ine got messed up. I always helped him out in anyway and form. This was in the beginning of 2022.
We moved from the situation. We talked about it and were happy. We moved in together in October 2022. It was the worst and happiest decision ever. The beginning was fun. We stayed up late and watched movies. We did normal young couple stuff. I loved it because i got to be around him 24/7 with no one else beside his son. We were a little family. He would go out with his friends but he would always come back home late. He would always be the designated driver when they go out. None of his friends had a car so they used him. I didn’t like it and I told him I didn’t, they used him when it benefit them. He always worked overtime and was always at work to provide for us. I was conplain about us spending some time together like on the weekends but he was too tired from work and he would rather hang out with his friends. This went on for months. He invited people over who I didn’t know and he didn’t tell me. When he went on a trip to Atlanta, he needed helped getting back. His friends that were in his car didn’t have money and therir parents didn’t give him money for gas. He called me and told me to give him $100 dollars to get home. We started to fuss. I told him i’m not there to help him and he need to figure it out his self. He got mad and started to get loud at me about the money. I understand he was stressed and pissed about it but i gave him money to get there for gas and food and i gave him some money before he left. He should’ve had enough money. When i went on my trip he didn’t give me no money.
My birthday last year he broke up with me over stupid stuff. He layed around on my birthday and didn’t care. He got mad about it. I took him out and went to cheddars and I paid for it. I cried in the restaurant. He lied multiple times about why he did it. I cried for the whole month of august because i felt like i was not good enough for him. He went out every weekend with friends and ignored me. He only used me for sex. I cried to him and he looked at me like i was stupid and i made him bored. I was unhappy that whole month but he didn’t care. I went on a trip with my family, I was miserable but I faked it for my fmaily. He was out with friends when i was gone. He didn’t care. We were broken up for 2 weeks. He tried to get back with me but i said no. We got back together so way.
I got pregnant in October of 2023. He was unhappy about the baby. He wasn’t ready. He said he wanted to travel, get a house, build his self, grow and more. I was sad because i knew what he wanted me to do. He told me he wanted me to get a abortion. My last abortion made me depressed and sad. I got tired of it. Our lease was ending in November 2023. We both went back home. I was pregnant and emotionally. I needed him.
For two moths we were happy and excited to grow our family. We still had problems. He still went out with his friends. He went out with some girl and her mom to get me a Christmas. He never got me nothing. The last gift he got me was valentines day in 2022. He came to my house, I was mad. I told him i didn’t like her and that he need to stop talking to her. I told him, she likes him but he didn’t believe me. He said that’s his friend. One day she facetime him when he was getting a haircut. I ignored it but i thought about answering. I never trusted their relationship there. I still don’t.
Christmas eve, we was going out to eat. We came to my house to chill. I got out the care i felt like it was my time of the mont. I looked down and saw blood. I got scared and told my family. They told us to go to the hospital to see what’s going on. We went and waited for hours. I was scared but i tried not to show it. I knew it wasn’t normal to bleed when your pregnant. Wewent to get a ultrasound and the whole time i was scared. My boyfriend at the time cane with me (my ex). She didn’t say nothing when checking my baby. But at the end of the ultrasound she said she was fine and healthy. I was happy. Then we went to a room to talk to a doctor. They thought I had something so they gave me medicine for it but I was worried about the blood. But they said it would go away on its on. We were the last people to leave the hospital and we were tired.
For about a whole week of Christmas week, I bled. I was worried because it lasted too long. I told my family about my concerns. I couldn’t go see a doctor because of christmas and every one was out of work.
My boyfriend ( my ex) took me out for new years eve, we went to juicy crab. We fussed a little about dumb stuff. After he drop me off, he went to a party with friends. I just wanted to spend time with him. We didn’t live together anymore and i missed him. The next day I felt like i was in intense pain. It felt like i was on my period. It started at 6 in the morning and it lasted all day. I was throwing up and bleeding. I called my then boyfriend to come get me. He called the ambulance. He saw my bathroom and he was terrified. I felt weak and i could barely keep my eyes open.
I was still in pain when i got to the hospital. My family came to check up on me. I was too weak to care about my self and in pain to focus. They told me, my baby was trying to come out early. I was having a miscarriage. I was in the hospital for 5 days. I lost my baby girl on the third day. I was sad and i just wanted my boyfriend. He only came two days. He would go to work and then come stay the night with me. He still didn’t have a car. I cried every night when left alone. My mom kept me company when he wasn’t there. He called and texted me through out the day when he was at work. My last day at the hospital, i was ready to go home and get in my own bed. He didn’t text or called me on my last day. I had to tell his friend i was leaving the hospital to tell him. I felt sad because my boyfriend didn’t care about me or was checking up on me. We fussed about him not being there with me. He got mad that i didn’t let him drive my car to get to work and come see me at night. My parents would’ve fussed me out if i gave him my car to use. They told me not to give him my car.
That Saturday he was acting weird to me. He didn’t text or call me. He went out with friends to look at apartments a hour away. He didn’t tell me until the day of. We had two plan to when he have out baby girl. The first one was to move to raleigh and the second one was to wait until she was one to be able to talk and walk to move to raleigh. And we wanted her to be around family. I didn’t know he was still planning to move after everything. He was moving with his friends. I was sad he was moving on. I always got jealous when he would bond with his son. Everytime he was around me, he would call him friends to talk about the big move and what they was going to do. I cried because he didn’t care about me or my baby, he was moving on. It hurt that he never consider my feelings about everything and how i felt about it.
For three months, he treated me like shit. He would ignore my call and text messages. He acted like I didn’t exist. But he still would keep me around to use me to help him out. Helped him get to Raleigh to help his brother with his moving company, help him to get to work and more. I felt alone and depressed. I was going through postpartum. I wrote him a letter about everything from us to our baby girl. He didn’t acre about it. It took him a 2 week to read. I just wanted him to hold me and tell him everything was going to be alright. Everytime he was around me he jsut wanted sex. I took him to Raleigh to look at cars for him. He saw car he wnated and it was his dream car. A 2021 dodge charger. He only had $1,000 in his saving. Because he spent most of his saving trying to fix his other car that his friend he stayed with messed up. They wanted him to put down more on it. He looked at me and asked could i put down $650. I didn’t wnat to help him becashe never helped me and he treate me like shit after i lost our baby. Eventually i said yes i would put the money down to get the car. He needed insurance to get the car too so i put him on mines. I did too much for him. His birthday was days before he got his car. He was happy and i was happy to see i caused it. We just losted our baby so we both were going through it.
He posted on facebook and instagram like i wasn’t there or helped him get the car. I was mad because he didn’t acknowledge me or anything. But quick to act like he got it on his own. I loved him to death. He still treated me like shit afterwards. He didn’t care. He just used me. He was suppose to help me pay for my lawyer but he only gave me $200. My lawyer fees in total cost was $750. I paid all of it by myself. He still haven’t paid me.
Now he talking to different girls and partying. That’s what he wanted from the beginning. He was never ready to have a family with me. He still lie to me and tell me he see his self with me. and that he doesn’t care about me. I hide all our pictures and I delete our text messages. Everything felt like a lie with him. Nothing felt true or real.
I don’t want to get my feelings evolved with another person to hurt me emotionally. I don’t want to feel the same way i did with him for the past 8 months. I wasn’t myself. I don’t love him the same or see him as my lover. He feel like a stranger in his body. I still wanted us to start over and have a better start in life. I miss him and love him still. But i’m not going to wait around for him to come back to me.