Little weird one...
Met this girl on hinge a few weeks ago and it started out great. We were texting what seemed like non-stop, and initially bonded over one of my captions stating I need a Wedding date for some weddings I am going to this summer.
Last Saturday I invited her out and after her wanting to, she didn't due to her living an hour away and having a broke down car. Later that night around 2 am as I got home from the bars she was spamming me that shes coming to my city and how her and her friend want to come drink and stay the night. I was out for my birthday so I was more drunk than I should have been and kept drifting off and waking up. She got to my house closer to 5 am, and I said she can come in but I am sleeping instead of drinking and she ended up going to her friends place that she brought with her.
We were sort of planning brunch Sunday morning but I didn't give her a definitive answer, and she ubered back to her city, While on the uber back she was begging me to come to her city. First for brunch, then dinner and ultimately we decided on Dinner. She went fishing on a boat with some friends (I was thinking maybe a date type thing but she claimed all dudes on the boat have GFs and its a friend group) and lost her phone in the river and didn't hit me up till monday.
This is the turn... Monday she apologized saying she lost her phone (she was texting me on an iPad) and she just went kind of distant. Not responding in the same style, long responses, etc... This went on to Wednesday were I hit her up saying if she still wanted to be my wedding date as one was coming up soon and I had to let my friend know if I had a +1 due to a head count. She apologized for being distant, said she really wants to be my +1 and that was that. Thursday we picked up the conversations and while it wasn't as good as the beginning, she was responding fast. She ended up leaving me on read and we haven't hit each other up since.
I know I have only known her a few weeks and while yes I do talk to some other girls, she just hasn't left my mind. I leave for a trip here Saturday for a couple weeks and was thinking about hitting her up when I'm back but I just can't shake this one... Thoughts?

Nothing special, feel free to leave feedback.

A year before I left Boston, we went for dinner one night. It was after ultimate frisbee, and Boloco was the only place open. We were still riding high from the last time, when we'd gotten everyone to swim across the Charles. Some kids from MIT had been eating grapes as they walked across the bridge, and I'd convinced them to throw some to me to try to catch in my mouth. They missed a few times before throwing down the ziplock bag, and I was able to throw one to you, which you caught.
So this time, I'd joked we should climb the fence to the reservoir and see if we could eat burritos on our backs as we swam across, like otters. You liked something I'd said, so instead of rushing it with Boloco, we wandered the grocery aisles to savor the planning. In the end, you'd proposed making a little boat by turning the frisbee upside down and duct taping two water bottles beneath as pontoons. "We could make smores," you said leaning toward me. We bought a tiki torch that we sat in the middle and then piled the rest of the frisbee with marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate squares from Hershey bars. Before we left, you ran back to your car to get a sharpie. You wrote "S.S. More" on the side of one water bottle. I posed for a photo.
The platter was awkward, and we dropped a couple pieces of chocolate in the woods. But we got through the fence easily. We broke sticks for our marshmallows and you lit the torch with a lighter from your car. I remember there were these little fish that would nibble at our toes in the shallows. It was unpleasant, but it didn't quite hurt, more ticklish. I was a more confident swimmer, so I pulled the jump rope, swimming on my back, the other hand balancing my marshmallow over the carcinogenic flame.
At some point out on the water, the wind picked up and blew out the torch. We treaded water several minutes as you tried to get the lighter, wet from where you'd stuffed it into your underwear, to work. At the other side of the reservoir, we stood and those little fish nibbled at us, and you shook out the lighter hard, and lit the torch. We ate as much as we pleased, laughing the whole way back. You took a turn with the jump rope.
That summer we drove up and stayed at the cabin your great uncle owned in Maine. The cabin itself was a converted boat, where your uncle, a local politician from Florida, spent his summers with his obese wife. They were the legal guardians of your cousin, whose father disappeared again after relapsing. It was early autumn, and you'd said it was too cold to swim. But we'd go down and jump in the water with your aunt and uncle, who were convinced the cold was soothing to your aunt's gout. I taught the little boy to skip rocks, but I got him in trouble by talking in character as Scarlet O'Hara during a game of Clue, which he wouldn't stop imitating for the rest of the afternoon. His grandfather sent him outside until he stopped. When you and I went to look for him, he was trying to split logs with an axe in his flip flops. We told him not to do that because he could lose his toes, and I told him that voices were only funny for a short time.
You and I didn't sleep in the old boat cabin, which was expectedly small. Instead, we slept in an L in a 12'x12' shed with a light bulb, which hung on an extension cord from a truss. We talked until 3am or 4am, about everything, work, girls, childhood, and the things that we'd done that had finally dragged us into sobriety.
The next morning, I'd said I wanted to see if I could swim across Lewis Cove and back. As soon as I said it, you were in. You were so lean from running all the time, and before we even got past the boats and the lobster traps, you were struggling from the cold. I'd suggested going back or even climbing out on one of the docks holding traps, but you refused. In the middle, you were worried about making it across at all. I figured I could carry you, but without a float, I didn't think I could carry you very far. When we finally got to where we could stand, you got out and tried to warm up. I stayed in the water, swimming back out a little because for some reason I thought a lobster might pinch me. Eventually, I realized how violently you were shivering. So I got out too, and we decided to go find the road and try to hitchhike back.
It turned out to be one of the islands scattered along the coast of Maine. Luckily, the restaurant, the only thing on the island, hadn't yet closed for the year. The staff, who lived on the island in warm months, were shocked to see us on their day off. You asked if they were planning to take their boat across the water anytime soon. "If you're already making the trip, maybe we could carpool?" you suggested. Two of them gave us a lift in a little boat, making thinly veiled comments about the stupidity of summer people most of the way.
The next day, you slept for hours with a fever. Your aunt was angry that I'd been a bad influence. I went back out and tried to complete the round trip swim. I did it carefully, keeping my head out of the water most of the time and swimming a modified breaststroke. I thought maybe a fast pace would help keep my body temperature up. On the other side, I kicked off the rocks and swam back, and it was cold, but I was fine. Back at the cabin, you were awake and gave me a hug when I came in. We looked up the swimming route on your phone and saw that it was indeed an island, a mile and change round trip. That night we bought a few lobsters from some place along the road, which your uncle boiled in seawater.
A few weeks later, you'd tried to set me up with a girl you knew. You showed me a photo of her, a knockout blonde from Florida. You said you'd been telling her all about me and had sent her my website, and that she wanted to visit Boston and meet me. You told me what a good person she was. "She does little things you'd do, like whenever she has spare change, she goes and puts it in the coin return of vending machines so that it'll make someone's day." I asked why you weren't dating her, but you brushed me off. We started arguing somehow at Bukowski's, some comment I'd made because you'd said she routinely got favors from an infatuated ex. I'd told you it sounded like trouble, and that remembering that beauty is fleeting was why I hadn't slept my way through the ultimate frisbee club yet. We ended up finishing our White Trash Cheese Steaks in silence.
I left Boston with some girl the following summer. It fizzled in weeks, but it was years later that I realized how much you loved me. My ex-wife had been organizing photos, and had come across the picture you took of me holding the frisbee boat. She was always jealous of other women, and she asked who I was smiling at in the photo. "He was my friend."

Yall, I’ve had this Reddit account for years but never actually used it. While enjoying my insomnia I decided to give it a whirl… and this shit is wild. After reading a ton of posts in this subreddit here are some things I think some of you need to know. (I’ve been with my husband for 10 years)
1.) Date him when you’re fat! - guys… the shear amount of posts where men can’t stand their wives weight and these women feel like they need to maintain the same body they had at 25 is INSANE! I’ve never been happier than I am tonight that my husband met me with a few extra pounds. 😂
2.) Find the unappreciated men! - if you’re looking for dudes who will love you for the long haul find the ones that flew under the radar! My husband is hot as hell, and is only getting better with age. He was a big kid and hit his glow up right before we met. He is humble and kind and women were stupid to pass him by.
3.) Suck it…. On more than his birthday
4.) Trade off on spoon positions! - don’t sleep on the power of being the big spoon! Im 5’4” and my husband is 6’2”. Sure his back is getting most of the love, but he keeps my boobs warm and he loves the change up.
5.) DO NOT LET FAMILY FUCK WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP! - toxic family? Get your shit in order immediately! Communication is key with your partner and boundaries with family. You are each other’s priority. End of story.
6.) Rough times come in waves - You will continue to grow and change because that’s what humans do. Marriage means doing that together and often that comes at different times. Communication is crucial. Patience is a virtue, and sometimes you just gotta be the bigger person.
7.) Have hobbies and friends! - you don’t have to do everything together… seriously. You are still an individual! It’s ok to have your own time and space. My husband loves hiking. I would rather read in a hammock. He goes fishing and I would rather throw some clay. And that’s great! Have one or two things you love to do together, but don’t change everything about yourself to make someone happy. That’s dumb and will only lead to resentment.
8.) Own your sex life! - try new things, sit on his face, stick a finger somewhere… just laugh and enjoy 😉 ladies, I promise you that a true ride or die hubby will not care if your legs aren’t shaved and your thighs could crush a watermelon. Let go of those insecurities that are holding you back!
9.) Talk about kids/responsibilities BEFORE you get married! - I wanted kids, he didn’t. Accept that what your partner is telling you is what they mean! And then decide if they are worth the compromise. If you both want kids you damn sure better talk about childcare, chores, meals, money, etc. BEFORE you push out that bundle of potential divorce.
10.) You only get one life. - Really, just one… so make sure you’re with a person who you can look back in 40 years and think, damn… how lucky am I.

Okay, fourth rewrite, I'm making this in hopes that their is someone who can help me in some way. Maybe someone knows the answer to it all and can guide me, though unlikely. I'll just list out all my issues in seperate paragraphs and hopefully their is just someone out their to help, if you can help me just please do, I really need help or at least someone and you reading this and giving me advice would truly mean a lot to me. Anyways
I feel stupid: I honestly feel braindead, I hate my mind so much. Sometimes it's hard to think or do, sometimes I can't think or do. My mind is so numb, everything about my mind just feels wrong and dead. My mind has felt dead for a year or two now and I just wish it was alive, I want my mind to be normol, I want it to actually work. I also want confidence in my mind, any failure or lack of underatanding makes me defeated and feeling like a dunce. Anything I can do I say was just luck or something anyone should know. I don't know if I'm stupid or not but dam I feel like I am the dumbest in a room. I would give it all to be intelliegent, I wish I was smart, well read, well informed, well versed. I so desperately want to know, so desperately want to be smart. I wish I could understand stuff. I just want to be smart and have a bright alive mind, but my mind is so dead and desolate and compared to the rest worthless. I hit myself in my head whenever I'm mistaken or just feel so stupid, and I honestly deserve it. If I were to kill myself my mind being numb and stupid would be the reason or a big reason why, I just want to be smart. You can likely tell just how much of an idiot I am by reading this via grammer, spelling, complaints. That "likely" was meant to be "probaboly" but I'm just stupid and worthless to spell. If there was just a way to be smart and not such a moron, I fucking hate my life.
I have body issues: I without doubt have body issues, the biggest of which is my weight. As of now I am 5,9 (1.7M) and 211lbs (95.7KG), I was 246lbs (111kg) to begin with and it was also my heaviest. Despite losing a good amount of weight I am not happy and have no pride, I'm still fat and thats all I see sadly. I don't want to be fat or skinny, I want to be muscular:big arms, built chest, flat stomach, no abs (don't like them) that sounds appealing, it's what I want. Unfourtunely I as of now can't work to this goal, I don't have money for a gym or equipment, famliy funds can't do it ethier and awhile ago I turned down a weight bench since I wasn't confident, now I regret that choice. I hate being fat so much, and this deep hatred and desperation has led to a embarassing cycle, for two years now I have been downloading images of muscular bodies. They're all drawings or from videogames since I'm to embarresed to have real images and as mentioned it's a cycle, Download and store -> have them and look at them for awhile -> get ashamed of myself -> purge it all -> regret -> repeat. Like stated this has been going for two years and as of now I have ten different images. Apart from weight I also have some other physical insecurites, acne being a big one. I been suffering from acne for years, fifth grade, early sixth grade is when it started so five years of this. It mostly effects my chin and cheeks badly but also effects more of my face, sometimes the acne hurts and it often even bleeds. I hate touching my face and feeling grime and ripping off a bunch of skin and dried shit. I wash every night and try to be frequent with morning witch-hazel but it dosen't relent. I also hate it when it gets mentioned, it is irratating to be reminded and noticed and nobody points it out more then my own mom who also cliams it would go if I just washed. I do, I fucking do! It's not working and you don't understand that! I also have body acne I don't know how to fix, I like sleeping shirtless which I know is the reason, also inconsistent with bedding which isn't right. Even if I did wash sheets weekly it wouldn't be enough, I would still get acne on my body. I just want to sleep shirtless and not get acne, I wish I could find a way. Another insecurite but not really is my height, I don't mind being 5'9/5'10 I mean it's about average height and I beat out my 5'4 father. But I'm sixteen which mean I still have possibilty to get taller and I wonder, will I? If I do, just how tall? Could I reach 6'0+? All of this speculation makes me a bit insecure, also with being fat I look short and round in the mirror which is defeating. I'm secure besides speculation and weight but at the same time I truly want to be taller, I think any man tall or short wishes they were taller, I wish I could break 6'0 that would be cool (to me). But I don't think that will ever happen, my dad is 5'4, my mom is 5'6 I made it 5'9/5'10 and my chart is stagnating, should just stop thinking I'll get taller. Another phsyical insecurite and likely the last one I'll mention unless I think of another worthwhile one is my hair, I'm insecurie of my hairstyle. Or lack of hairstyle, my mom says I have independence in this choice but whenever I make a choice she complains about it. Any agreement is one sided or changed up a little so she likes it. I have always hated my hairstyles over the years, even now and as of now it's ethier her way or a unorgainzied thick mess that will soon be her way. I hate it, wish I could make my own "independent" choice, even if I could my mom would likely hate it and always bring it up which is something I don't want to deal with. My mom is more for short cuts and fades etc, I hate fades and while I do admire short hair have always taken liking to shagger and longer styles, more rugged style. I have also always liked long hair and even wanted it. I used to openly want long hair for a long time but my mom opposed, I tried to convince her but she was opposed. She wasn't only opposed to it she made sure to express that it was gay and feminine etc, etc. She made me close off and forgot the desire but even now she won't let go. She is so sure to tell everyone: famliy, her friends, the hairdresser, hell maybe even strangers, she tells everyone about how much I wanted it and what she thought of it etc. Often I have been embarresed like this while I was right there, I have expressed that this embarreses me and want it to stop mutiple times yet she'll continue almost as if it's purposeful, she will also bring up an old friend T who had long hair as an example of it looking bad. But he didn't take care of it or do anything, most he would do is give into his moms begging and have her brush it. If I had long hair I would actually take care of it and do stuff to it! She also claims I got the idea from him, but no I liked it since elementary being inspired by personal inkling and rock. I no longer want hair but am starting to find styles I really like, but first I need to get my mom to fuck off. And second I would want to grow a beard, which is another issue of mine. I'm sixteen I shouldn't expect a full beard but I have seen peers with actual good facial hair, patchy beards, five o'clocks, some actually have a beard. Then there is me, with some sideburns and a bunch of peachfuzz, I want to be able to grow a beard and the peachfuzz plus sideburns bother me, I want it to actually devlop, I want a beard. I am also worried about devlopment, worried acne will hurt or even stop growth. I'm upset about my lack of growth though I definetly have unrealistic expectations. Lastly with hair is my chest hair, I'm quite hairy and I like it. And I have chest hair but barely and I just wish I had more over a greater coverage, more of a funny insecurite, lol. One more insecurity I forgot about is my voice. I'm loud when talking and my voice isn't as deep as I wish so that sucks.
(copy and paste from older write) I wish I had a father: I don't have a father or any form of father figure, I'm fatherless and it hurts a lot. My father has been out of my life since I was elevenish/twelveish (the peak of covid passed), we kicked him out because he is and was a meth addict in and out of the jail. He was a fuctioning addict so not violent and not as obvious of an addict but the meth still took him over. My mother says she kept him around and gave him so many chances because she wanted him to be in my life as a father. But he was no father when he was around, he didn't parent me, he didn't play his role as a father and guide as a masculine role model, hell he likely didn't even truly care for me. My only memories of him really are going to McDonold's with him, after which he dumpster dived behind the plaza as I begged for us to go back home. Or me wanting to bond with him so he sets up the brilliant idea of dragging me around with his skechy friends, to skechy places, even at skechy times. I don't understand why I knew sooner, guess I was a stupid basterd but I started picking up that my dad was a bad person around fifth grade. By then I quickly found out more and more and tenstion was growing, by eleven we we're going to kick him out but covid struck it's height and our household seemed palpable. But very quickly we said fuck it and threw him to the curb, we weren't going to have it no longer. Soon after around thirteen I was happy that he was gone but slightly disappointed that I no longer had a father (even if he was useless) and I hoped my mom would find someone, not only for herself but for me. By fourteen this really layed in heavy on me and the lack of a father really bummed me out, I got really stupid and desperate using bitlife to create guys then add me and my mom in to create step father famlies even adding step siblings and shit. By late fourteen it was made clear to me by my mom that "we don't need no man" and that she was done with dating. I very well do need a father figure, every child needs one. Hell I as a guy truly need(ed) one, there are so many lessons and things that come from a fatheson relationship that are crucial to a boy and I missed out on them. Hell even when my dad was around I missed out on lessons, I still remember he was tasked to teach me how to tie my shoes but got mad at me struggling and walked away. He refused to help afterward and I refused to try and never to this day learned the proper way to tie, instead I have my own far less efficent method. I missed out on so much by not having a father and it hurts to know that and I just wish I had the knowledge, without a masculine role model I have definetly missed out what it is to be a man and likely am even a loser of a man. I just want a father so badly, I want what a father provides so badly, I want the bond that it comes with. I wish I just had a guy to talk to and bond with, I want a dad just so badly. I wish I had someone who taught me how to change a tire or fish and all that shit, but I'll never have it and it angers me, I am angry to be fatherless, I am angry and lost without a father figure, and I'm jealous. I kind of want to have children when the time comes, I wonder if I'll fail them as well.
Friends: Growing up I was always a bit introverted, I think it was of my nature but was amplafied by life. In elementary I often acquainted myself with people never having any close friends outside my after school program. Jumping to middle school I had a good friend-group but it turned out my good friend T was really an ass and I was pushed out by him in early nineth grade. Later in nineth I met my good friend, my best friend M. This year in tenth I was introduced to a friend named D by M. These are my only two friends and I'm happy with them, though there are a few issues. Not anything major but just a few things, like how we never do anything outside of school. The only thing I really miss about my old friendgroup is that we actually did shit: springs, houses, events, parks, attractions, food. Now me, M and, D don't and have never done anything outside of school and the computer. M likely couldn't do anything because of his famliy and D just seems completely disinterested and worried about money. But I wish we could really do something, sure videogames are fun but it would be fun if we could just goof off somewhere, be stupid. This is really the only general "issue" apart from that no major strain or issue in the friendgroup. But I do have a few personal grievences, starting with D. I think D has a darker side of him, he seems to not respect or care for me and will sometimes show it in nasty ways. He had told both me and M to kill ourselves, he attacks insecurites, he says rude shit, etc. Also with D, we have never truly connected, never gotten to know each other personally. Without M we would be mere acquaintance, M is the only reason why me and D are friends and being alone with each other is mostly silence and maybe him showing me a TikTok. Then M, I have no personal issues with M only small factors of our friendship I'm upset or worried about. Starting off with is school, halfway through this year (tenth) M started a FLVS-hybrid. I am happy for him and it's something we both expressed wanting but now I never really see him. I could see him at lunch but he dosen't really come in and only other time I can see him is leaving campus. I ethier catch him and barely have a conversation worthwhile or he's to far ahead and I got to give up trying to reach him. The only way to talk to my best friend nowadays really is Discord, and that isn't even reliable since his parents are often controlling the WI-FI or taking his stuff away. This means when I do talk to my friend it can suddenly be ended as he disconnects or I can't even. This sucks, it feels like I can't even talk to my best friend that much. But that isn't all, because I'm worried for my friend M. His parents don't sound the best from all he's told me, I won't share his issues but just as an example he didn't have a bedroom for two months. Hearing what we gose through is alreadly dishearting but something that I worry deeply about is him talking sucide. He has talked and half joked about it several times and it's worry, I been trying to discourage but he continues with it so now I'm just trying to ignore it. That is likely the wrong way of handling it but I just don't know what to do. I hope it's always bluff and he moves out and moves on with he can, I don't want him to kill himself.
I'm lonely: I'm sixteen but I'm lonely. I am the only one of my friends who hasn't had a relationship, I am not the most worried about that, I don't want to date just to date, I want to date to love. But hell I still wish I had a relationship, even just a sterotypical high-school one. But what I truly want is true love, I want a woman I love with all my heart and a woman who loves me with all of hers, I want a woman to provide for, to protect, to matter to. I want to marry and possibly have kids. I want to love someone, be there for someone. But will I ever even have that? I'm alreadly a loser who no woman would want and even then from what I've heard, "modren dating is terrible" so what chance do I even have? Will I ever have someone to love? I hope.
School: School makes me so misereble and dead, this place makes me genuinely want to off myself I hate it so much. And it seems to revolve around my whole life, even at home it's all my mom wants to bring up. I just need a break from it all but it seems like it's the only thing in my life, I don't really have anything else. I failed my nineth grade year, I failed since I'm a stupid, worthless peice of shit. But they "passed" me onto tenth, gave me tenth grade classes, test, etc but say I'm still nineth, tell me do nineth grade "remedation" online. Now I'm failing like a worthless peice of shit once again! I wish they held me back to try again but they didn't they just pushed me on, still likely would've failed like a worthless bitch but I could have had a chance. I fucking hate myself I'm so stupid and I hate my school for pushing my stupid ass onward and onward, I should just kill myself at this point. And when I try to reach out to my counselor in any hope for some chance of help the piss poor communcation at this school means it'll take days for a response, I can't even get reliable help over school. Back in middle school I had a GPA in the high 3s, I made honor roll every other quater or so, I had high grades and sucess. But in high-school, in nineth grade I failed with straight Fs and got a GPA of 0.7, now in tenth I have a 1.7 and sometimes get high grades but mostly fail. I just wish I wasn't so stupid, I just wish I was smart and successful at school. But I'm not, I'm a fucking idiot and an embarssment at school. And maybe it would all be okay if it wasn't for the assholes I am surrounded by, my fellow peers of this overcrowded hell hole. Just seems like I can never catch a break with having to deal with people. I just want to be left alone but they're is just always somebody wanting to bother me, harass me. Can sit at a desk then have a bunch of cunts around me, harass me, call me burgundy because of my shirt. Can sit down and be snickered at by the guys in front of me for whatever reason. Sit down and have paper, pencils, even ice hitting me. Sit down and have some imbecible pull up a chair and use my desk as his and block me in my seat because fuck me, am I right? Just want to be left alone but never am, nobody ever dose it's always something. I can't even get respect, not a single bit, just always mistreated. Hell just the other day when I was given my packet I was also mistakenly given the packet of a nearby girl, I get her attention and hand it to her and she just snaches it and mumbles something, because I can't even be respected, I'm worthless. And even when I'm not being directly bothered I got to deal with slow walkers, idiots who don't know how to inconvience everyone else in the halls, the over crowded school. It all fucking sucks I hate it all, everyday I think I'm on the verge of snapping but somehow just have more patience, I don't know how much more of this shit I can or have to endure. At least my mom finally reconsidered my old forgotten pleads for online school and reopened the idea, maybe by some miracle online school will save me and "help me get caught up and ahead" but I doubt it, I'm an idiot who deserves to die. Why am I so fucking stupid, why am I like this? Why must I exist this way?
No hobbies or interest: I used to love a lot of things: reading, history, coming up with things in my head, videogames and, anything really. Now I have grown apathic to it all except videogames and even that dosen't bring much joy. I want to have my old hobbies back but lack the will to return. And I want new hobbies but yet lack will but also lacking knowing what I want to try. I'm lost with my freetime, it's all bleek and I want to fill my life with pastion. I still love videogames, always will but I need more then just gaming, I want more then gaming. I just want something, anything. I don't want to have such a lack of interest, God I fucking hate my life.
I have no future career goals: I'm sixteen and have no idea on what I want to do as an adult, some may say thats okay but it's not, not for me at least. I want to have a goal in the adult world, and even if that goal led to a path I don't like then I can always go down another path. Despite having no idea on what to do I at least know I don't want to be in an office. I could handle an office job, and be content with an office job but an office job isn't me, it isn't what sounds interesting, I would likely do blue collar or be my own boss. Some jobs I've considered and would do still are: police, SWAT police, house flipper, 911 operator, port worker, mechanic or something tinkeassemble like, enterpuner my book, film and games ideas or, open a store or bar or something. These are some jobs I've considered in the past that I would still see myself doing, I have also pondered over military/reserve but not sure. My childhood dream career that I still have a desire for is SWAT but I don't think I have what it takes, in fact I don't think I have what it takes for anything. I think all my life is destined to is dying homeless on a street corner, it's all I'll ever be "worthless".
I had so much planned, now failed: At age fourteen I planned to by now have a license, a job, a banking account, start savings. I planned to lose weight, I planned to have an idea outside of school, I had a plan. But I'm just a worthless peice of shit and a failure to myself, I don't even have a permit, no job, no savings, still fat, have no idea about the future, I failed myself.
Fidgeting: I can't stop but want to, at school I can't help but twiral a pencil around. I do it all the time at school but been trying to stop, I hate doing it. Worst part is I'm being immated by worthless cunts by it which is annoying. I want to stop this.
Masterbation addiction: I have a severe and low life addiction to masterbation. I do it at least once a day and sometimes mutiple times a day. The longest I was ever able to refrain was just a little over a week and only failed because I got bored. I need to jerk it to be able to sleep unless I'm desperately tired but even then. Also since I "need" it to sleep I regulary soil my sweatpants then sleep in it which is nasty. I can't control this vice, this low appetite and I'm deeply unhappy about it. Also unhappy that I might be ruining my endurence, a bit TMI but just another reason why this is harmful. I want to refrain or atleast drasticly cut out this pratice and fix myself.
I likely have more issues eating me inside as I waste away as a shell of a person but I can't really think of them. I am told my mom is looking into thearpy so that might be nice. Please just help me, I'm so lost and broken, I sometimes consider just ending it all but I just hope it can get good.

I need some guidance unravelling codependent patterns without leaving my partner feeling cut out and rejected.
In February I began a sexual relationship with my friend, Orange, and for better or worse this has made me very aware of some longstanding issues with my anchor partner, Apple. I'm grateful for the awareness, though I recognize it's not ideal to start working on old, big things with one partner just as NRE is in full swing with another.
I'm starting therapy tomorrow, my partner is aware of these issues, and our communication has been very open and transparent and loving. The things I'm going to talk about with my therapist are not the topic of this post.
Since I've started seeing Orange, Apple has been going above and beyond, buying gifts, doing all the grocery shopping and cooking when he comes over on the weekends, stepping up to make plans together (things I've been wanting him to step into, as I tend to be the planner, the prepper, the shopper, the cook, the driver...) He truly is amazing, when I say something needs work I don't need to mention it twice, he is helpful and responsive and puts in the effort.
He also wants to spend more time together, and both Apple and Orange have the same days off.
And all of this is occurring at a time when I'm wanting to examine our patterns of codependence and to encourage Apple to increase his social spheres of support, and when he's ready, to date others. I've told him that I want to support him in that, and he says he wants that too, but he isn't making space for that, and this new energy he is bringing feels panicked, clinging.
The effect is that it is making me draw back further - which is such a common thing I hear about, and it's heartbreaking.
I'm very committed to making our relationship work. He is my best friend and the love of my life. Orange is no substitute for Apple (names chosen with intention) and there's nothing certain about the trajectory of that relationship, so though it is shiny and new I'm not about to push Apple away for it.
But I do need space. I do need him to have supports besides me. For example, this weekend he asked if I want to go fishing this year. I do enjoy fishing, but I don't feel excited about a new project right now: acquiring gear, licenses, finding spots, etc... I asked if there's someone else he knows that would be interested in doing that with him. He seemed crestfallen at the suggestion. Theres so many interests he has and things he wants to do with someone else, and I feel terrible telling him I'm not interested, because I'm his only person he does things with.
I hate to knock the wind out of his sails when he is trying so hard, but it's not the direction of effort I need from him right now.
Have you navigated anything like this?

Preamble: This is based on the Primarch GF’s AU created by u/Sweet_older-sister and will mainly cover what they’ve been doing after the heresy and during 40k.
Disclaimer: This current version is the “good” route so most will be somewhat happy/hopeful but will still be (mostly) canon compliant
What happened
After El’Lenore’s duel against Luther was over, the Brave Warrior aided the Dark Angels in subduing and capturing Luther and led the procession to inter their lover within the Rock. Once that was done, the Brave Warrior was entrusted with being the first warden of the Rock, overseeing the imprisoned Fallen captured after the fall of Caliban and personally guarding Luther’s cell. Several years later, after a conversation with the now mad Luther and the Watchers in The Dark, the warrior wrote down what was discussed onto a journal which was given to the then Supreme Grand Master of the Dark Angels before departing from the Rock to Holy Terra, before completely disappearing from all official Imperial records. However, during the 34th millennium there was an odd record written by an unknown Interrogator Chaplain of the Dark angels stating that the “Dark Oracle” (the now mad Luther) had repeatedly spoken of a warrior being trained by an old king fishing by the lake surrounded by four shadows.
After ten millennia of disappearance from all records, the Brave Warrior have suddenly reappeared beside the reawakened El’Lenore, acting as her second in command and right hand much like Luther once did before his betrayal while leading the redeemed fallen, now dubbed the Risen alongside Zabriel who acts as the Primarch’s emissary.
Fun Fact: After their reunion in the 41st millennium, the couple can sometimes be seen hunting monsters together on the planet Catachan. According to the Primarch El’Lenore she once mentioned that it reminded her of her childhood and that she considers it to be a “great place for a date” where she and her brave warrior could reconnect and relax together to make up for lost time.
Credits
u/Sweet_older-Sister for making the AU a reality
u/Duncan6795 for the “Brave Warrior” nickname for the SO
u/NadiaFortuneFeet for the female name of El’Lenore Johnson
This is my first time writing something like this, I hope you guys enjoy it and any feedback and criticism is welcome.
Moreover, depending on how well this does, there may be more about each of the Primarch’s SOs in the future.
Thank you for reading 😁🙏

All my life I've been the lil nerdy chubby kid who never got any female attention. I didn't really mind it cause I never really cared for girls or a relationship or whatever but now that I'm older and much much more lonelier, I find myself wanting a companion. Someone who'll brighten up my day even on the worst ones. I mostly try to find a connection through online dating apps / reddit but it fails every time so miserably. I never get any likes, no one reaches out to me, and if I try to make the first move I either get blocked or ignored lol. It's so discouraging going through girls profiles, seeing what their standards are, and being constantly reminded that you're not good enough / you don't fit the criteria. You have to be 6 foot+, you gotta be in shape and have an athletic body, you gotta have tattoos, you gotta have a nice beard, you gotta have veiny arms, I mean the list goes on. I know there's "plenty of fish in the sea" and this isn't EVERYONES preference but it sure does feel like it. It sucks cause it feels like I'll never get a chance because I have no desirable traits or attributes. I just wonder what it feels like to be wanted.

I usually don’t get insecure about stuff but for some reason this has been on my mind. I wanna know if this is normal.
For context my gf and I live together and have been dating for over 2 years. I am lesbian and she has mainly identified as lesbian once we started dating.
The other day my gf commented on how a random cis-man in a show was hot. This is kind of random for her bc we are open and talk about women who are pretty, but she just out of no where brought up how a guy was hot.
Then recently I asked her if she still identifies as a lesbian and she said she would probably try dating a trans man and see where it would go if she wasn’t with me. She has brought this up multiple times before that trans men are her type. I know I kinda fished the answer outta her but don’t know why this time it kind of made me insecure. I’m usually a very confident person.
For me personally, I could not see myself with any other woman than her because she is the definition of awesome in my eyes. When she brought up how if things didn’t work out she would be with a trans man, it made me actually think about someone else making her happy for the first time and it made me sad a lil bit.
For more context ig, a lot of my friends are trans men and we work out together sometimes. I get a little bit self conscious when we work out together because they’re all stronger than me and I’m the only woman in the group. Could this have to do with it?
Is it just me being insecure? Should I just take a step back and reassess why I’m feeling this way?

I finished my first ever playthrough of RDR 2 three days ago, but I did not know how to express my feelings about the game so I just decided to make this extremely long review of the game, RDR 2 is now officially the best game I have ever played in my life, firstly, hats off to rockstar for optimising the game so well that my laptop with 8 gigs of ram and NO DEDICATED GRAPHIC CARD can run the game on low settings smoothly, there was no lag, and the game never crashed, while buying the game from steam I was certain I will have to get a refund but It just worked flawlessly. The Gameplay: I am in love with the gunplay in this game, even though I'm more used to using automatic rifles in any game I play, I just can't stop using my guns again and again even though I have to click 2 times to fire a single shot, it just adds to the fun instead of being annoying for some reason, the melee combat and the fist fights are so satisfying I could punch NPC's all day, The random events make the game so much more engaging, even though riding around on my horse takes so much more time than fast travelling,I literally used fast travel only twice or thrice, because even though your riding around the horse for a ling time, every 5-6 minutes you get a random event and even though some events are just a repetition, I still enjoy them, The map is so fucking beautiful I would literally just stare at the scenery for hours, this game has given me so many wallpapers that even if a change it every single day I could at least last a year like that, the Honor system is a brilliant idea as it keeps me on the edge all the time to cover up for my sins lol The Story : I think we all agree that RDR 2 has one the best storylines of all time, you start as a character which most people didn't like and found boring at first(including myself) but by chapter 2 you grow to love the character and you could absolutely give your life to protect that man by chapter 6, The small conversations between the characters whether at camp or in any other part of the map are written so well it just warms my heart, my personal favourites are when Arthur, Hosea and Dutch go fishing in rhodes, and when Sadie and Arthur come back after buying stuff from the general store in Rhodes, The Antagonists, many games have Antagonists that everyone fucking hates, but this games takes it up a notch because you cant hurt or torture those assholes until the very last missions, Milton slips away every fucking time when I think i could get the chance to kill him, until the very last mission of chapter 6, fucking Micah, I did not like him at all since I was forced to rescue him from Jail, I've blown him up with dynamite so many times I can't even count anymore.
The Side Missions: Every single side mission in this game is crafted to perfection, I used to say that God Of War(2018) has the best side missions but my opinion has completely changed, My Favourite Side Missions were - The widow of willad's rest, The Veteran, Edith Downes, Sister Calderón and Evelyn Miller ones
I Love this game so much, It took me 2 months to complete this and these have been the best 2 months of my life.
I am now going to take a little break from video games, 100% completion of games liek this tire you to death, but, I need your guys help to decide which story game I play next, I really want to play RDR 1 but I don't have access to a console, I heard that its coming out for PC soon so thats good, I been saving up for a PS5 and I will be able to buy one soon!, the first thing I'm going to do is buy RDR 2 and play it in Ultra graphics.
anyways, thanks if you actually read through all of the things I said above, everytime I finish a game I just tweet that I completed it and thats it, but I thought this game deserves so much appreciation, the fact that RDR 2 did not win Best Game 2018 needs to be studied, I think that it's release date was just a month earlier than the event didn't give enough people time to properly finish the game, and the fact that God of War 2018 was another masterpiece, but RDR 2 deserved that award.

Hello lorebeards, its me again. Another update, see my last posts for more.
I've been feeling so good, can feel the moths in me belly (heard someone say thats what love feels like). After last night, i knew i was getting to her. My feelings have only increased since! When i awoke, i remembered i was supposed to meet her again tonight for an alchemy date. Well, date, that's what it seemed like anyway! I needed to borrow my friend's alchemy set though, damn Galvarr Stonecock never used it anyway. He only got it cause our pal Hjor Skeever-Raper insisted on brewing homemade skooma after being ripped off one too many times by them catfolk. Me personally, i keep it to mead, my moon sugar days are behind me.
I rushed into his place for the equipment, shouting his name. Heard a "HUH? Aaahggm" and a thud, only to find him fallen off his table (he sleeps on it after too much mead). I yelled at him to let me borrow his alchemy set, after which he covered my mouth with his hand, i was too loud i spose. Whatever. "What for?" He asked. I told him i was gonna impress a gal with a nack for it. "Not that damn knife ear Justiciar is it? You're gonna be the death of us, Ysgrim." He said. "Just let me borrow it damn it, you owe me for that tavern brawl you started last week!" I proclaimed. He was too hungover to argue, and pointed me to his storage room where i quickly found his alchemy set. Had to dust it off but it seemed good.
Time passed, and i went to the abandoned guard tower again. Had bought some alchemy ingredients, and with a full bag, the set, and my alchemy book i walked up to her. She still wore the furs i gave her last night, a good sign. She cracked a half smile as she saw me approach, another good sign! "Lets see if i can teach you some alchemy then huh, Ysgrim?" She remarked. I was excited, but nervous, this isn't up my alley. As time passed on, we sat closer and closer as we prepared potion after potion, some failing, mostly due to errors wholly my own, but i was learning quick. "You're proving to be a good student." She said in a serene yet playful tone. "Only because i've such a wonderful teacher!" I added. She blushed at my comment.
We spent the night chatting about little things like life here in Skyrim, her homeland and the differences, making fun of Imperials and cracking jokes. It was cozy. We mixed so many ingredients, everything from luna moth wings and snowberries to different sorts of fish and elves' ear, which i found an interesting name. When using the latter ingredient i commented that i quite like Elven ears, hers especially, they were adorable. She got flushed, and giggled. Then...it happend. We both grabbed the same ingredient, some shroom or whatever, and our hands touched. Neither of us let go, and we looked up at each other. We were already sitting close to each other, and the warm fire. I leaned in a bit, and so did she, and we kissed. It was the most intense feeling i ever had! It seemed to last an eternity and mere moments at the same time. Not long enough, truly.
We leaned back and looked at each other, and i could tell, she was the one. She felt the same thing. No words were needed to express it. But then, words fell. "Erissare! What is the meaning of this?!" it sounded from the entrance to the tower. It was another Justiciar, a man. "S-Sir, i can explain. This, uhm, is an informant i recruited. He will help us find spies and heretics!" She muttered as she got up from her chair. "Our own spy huh? We will speak of this in our quarters, immediatly. Come along now. And you, not a word to your barbaric buddies, or i will have your tongue." He proclaimed. She followed him down the tower, and i saw her give me one last, worried look before she was out of my sight. I felt shivers down my spine. Did he see our kiss? Does he believe her lie? Am i to spy for the Thalmor?!
The future is uncertain, friends. I may yet see troubling times ahead. I just hope she is safe. There is only one thing i am certain of.
I am a patriotic Nord in love with a Thalmor Justiciar. (May do an AMA soon)

IGS Rep
Steam ID: https://steamcommunity.com/id/OhMyFuzzy/
Really big into space and survival games.
*~Wanted games~* Evolve Stage 2 Project Cars GOTY Steam wishlist
No TF2 or CS boxes or skins sorry Current and updated game list:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blazing chrome Payday 2 Silver chain Outbuddies dx Overloop Nobodies murder cleaner Hue Barotrauma Wounded the beginning The town of light Morkredd Bridge constructor The walking Dead Smoke and sacrifice Autonauts Autonauts vs piratebots Trapped dead lockdown Toki Still Life Tunche Going under Doom Doom 2 Doom 93 Doom 64 Edna and Harvey breakout Holy potatos a spy story Unto the end Manual Samuel Chasing Dracula chasing love collector edition Shift happens Rose riddle 2 werewolf shadow Soulcraft Automachef Indie mixtape Crumble Serial Cleaner Meridian: Squad 22 Pizza Connection 2 Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic Plan B from Outer Space: A Bavarian Odyssey When Ski Lifts Go Wrong THIS WAR OF MINE: COMPLETE EDITION 12 is Better Than 6 Space Crew: Legendary Edition The Inner World Jessika A Blind Legend Intruders: hide and seek From Space The ramp Hotshot racing Turnip boy commits tax evasion Slime-san Hover Terrain of Magical Expertise Cook Serve Delicious! 2!! Cook Serve Delicious! 3?! Dub Dash Beholder Redeemer: Enhanced Edition Going Under The Innsmouth Case Crewsaders Ghost 1.0 Monster Slayers Sparklite War Solution - Casual Math Game Aquarium Designer Tunnel of Doom Asterix & Obelix XXL 2 Arietta of Spirits MegaRace 1 MegaRace 2 Pumped BMX Pro Dead End Job BARRIER X White Night Bomber Crew - Deluxe Edition In Between Doodle Derby OlliOlli World: Rad Edition Safety First! Tower of ttime Out of Space A Musical Story Farmer's Life My Time At Portia Anomaly: Warzone Earth Anomaly Korea Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition Narcos: Rise of the Cartels Cook Serve Delicious Blue Fire Deadly 30 I am not a Monster: First Contact Planet Coaster Quake Live The wild Eight Quake 2 Rescue Team: Evil Genius Anomaly 2 They Always Run Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign A Tale for Anna Robin Hood: Winds of Freedom Incredible Dracula 4: Games Of Gods DESOLATE Everhood Voyage: Journey to the Moon Yesterday Origins Rage in Peace Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Action Return to Castle Wolfenstein Rune Lord SPACECOM S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster Slain: Back from Hell 10 Second Ninja X Iron Fisticle Fallback: Uprising Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders Dishonored Blacksad: Under the Skin Drink More Glurp Stikbold! A Dodgeball Adventure Fallout: New Vegas Wayout God’s Trigger Biped Paw Paw Paw Alchemy Garden Rencounter Double Cross Wayout 2: Hex Astronarch Weaving Tides Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood Youtubers Life Tacoma Cats in Time Geometric Sniper The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines Nihilumbra Heroes of Hellas 3: Athens Rescue Team: Evil Genius Anomaly 2 QUAKE II Quake Live They Always Run BARRIER X Skeletal Avenger MageQuit Tesla Force Geometric Sniper - Z Astronarch Iconoclasts Omen Exitio: Plague Geometric Sniper - Blood in Paris Ironcast Gone Home + Original Soundtrack Embr Chess Ultra Rebel Galaxy Outlaw Survivalist: Invisible Strain Geometric Sniper Sentience: The Android's Tale Metal Unit Block'Em! The Darkest Tales Smart Factory Tycoon Onde Through the Woods Toybox Turbos A Juggler's Tale Minute of Islands Sniper: Ghost Warrior Trilogy Garbage Pang Adventures Just Die Already Mutazione Sea Horizon I Am Fish Lair of the Clockwork God Lost Words: Beyond the Page The Dungeon Beneath Dog Sled Saga Bunker Punks Conglomerate 451 Aquarist Trolley Problem Inc.
Humble bundle games ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tribes of Midgard The Serpent Rogue Encased Conan chop chop Grow: Song of the evertree Doom Eternal Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack Duke Nukem Forever Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me WWE 2K Battlegrounds WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass Monster Train (First Class - Collectors Edition) Epic Chef Golf Gang Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands Serin Fate Forager PGA 2K21 Townscraper The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR Doom VFR Staxel Army Men RTS Greedfall (maybe) First Class Trouble Backbone Toem Where The Water, Taste Like Wine Blade Assault Super magbot Morbid: The Seven Acolytes Eldest Souls(maybe) UnMetal Raji: An Ancient Epic Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales Othercide Scourgebringer Five Dates TemTem Roadwarden Kraken Academy!! Merchant of the Skies Ozymandias: Bronze Age Empire Sim Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate Ghostwire Tokyo Remnant: From the Ashes - Complete Edition Curse of the Dead Gods Eternal Threads GRIME Turbo Golf Racing Meeple Station Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate - Daemonhunters Bendy and the Dark Revival Operation: Tango Windjammers 2 The Invisible Hand Aliens: Fireteam Elite Rollerdrome Life is Strange 2: Complete Season The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp Revita Edge Of Eternity Hero's Hour Rogue Lords Demon Turf Golden Light Monster Crown Shady Part of Me Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel Disco Elysium - The Final Cut Chivalry 2 Road 96 Trek to Yomi Arcade Paradise SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator Tin Can Hot Brass Deceive Inc. The Forgotten City Aces & Adventures Patch Quest Foretales Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus MarcusMetal Hellsinger Rebel Inc: Escalation Spirit of the Island Lords and Villeins (maybe) A Juggler's Tale Mr. Prepper(maybe) WWE 2K23 Unpacking (maybe) Friends vs Friends Prodeus The Legend of Tianding SCP: Secret Files (maybe) Souldiers House Flipper + Garden and Luxury DLCs Expeditions: Rome Midnight Fight Express ELEX II Nobody Saves the World (Maybe?) The Gunk (Maybe?) Last Call BBS Marvel's Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition + Midnight Suns - Doctor Strange Defenders Skin Aragami 2 Roguebook Hell Pie Life is Strange: True Colors There is No Light: Enhanced Edition Oaken Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin – Ultimate Edition (Maybe) Nioh 2 - The Complete Edition Saints Row (Maybe) Citizen Sleeper Black Skylands Soulstice Afterimage
~Fuzzy

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.

I am currently taking paypal for games, you always go first and cover fees
For game trades, you always go first and message me, usually it takes me about 1-2 days to get back to you at the latest
My Rep Page has not been updated in about 5 years, but I have a lot of trades finished
Bolded items are just the ones I would like to consider keeping so don't feel as though you need to offer more for the game
Wants
Oneshot
Subnautica
Stellaris (and dlc)
Wishlist Items
Have
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ADOM (ANCIENT DOMAINS OF MYSTERY)
Bridge Constructor Portal
Chivalry 2 - Epic Edition
Deep Rock Galactic
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Doom Eternal
Elite Dangerous
Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
Ghostrunner
Honey I Joined a Cult
Lost Ruins
Mass Effect Legendary Edition (temporarily unavailable)
MONSTER TRAIN (FIRST CLASS - COLLECTORS EDITION)
OUTWARD + THE SOROBOREANS AND OUTWARD SOUNDTRACK
PATHFINDER: WRATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS
Rebel Inc: Escalation
REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
Roboquest
SCP:Secret Files
SHOTGUN KING: THE FINAL CHECKMATE
Songs of Conquest
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Surviving Mars
THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales
VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 4 COMPLETE EDITION
Wasteland 3
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yakuza 4 Remastered
2064: Read Only Memories
20XX
7 Grand Steps

observer (x3)

A Good Snowman is Hard to Build
A Juggler's Tale
A Mortician's Tale
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Aaero
Aces and Adventures
AER Memories of Old (x2)
Age of Wonders III
Ageless
Agents of Mayhem
AI War: Fleet Command
Alien Spidy
Aliens:Fireteam Elite
Alina of the Arena
All You Can Eat
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Army Men RTS
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation (x2)
Assassin's Creed® Origins
Assault Android Cactus
Atom RPG Trudograd
Atomicrops
AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
Backbone
Bad End Theater
Banner Saga Trilogy - Deluxe Pack
Banners of Ruin
Bastion (x2)
Batman Arkham Origins (x2)
Battle Chef Brigade
Beacon Pines
Beat Hazard Ultra
Bee Simulator
Before Your Eyes
BEHIND THE FRAME: THE FINEST SCENERY
Beholder
BENDY AND THE DARK REVIVAL
Beneath Oresa
Between the Stars
Beyond a Steel Sky
Binary Domain
Bioshock Remastered
BioShock: The Collection
Biped
Black Book
Blade Assault
Blasphemous
Blazing Beaks
Bleed 2
Bloodstained®︎: Ritual of the Night
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2
Boomerang Fu (x3)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
Boreal Blade
Boyfriend Dungeon
Broken Age (x2)
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
BUILDER SIMULATOR
Burly Men At Sea (x2)
Bury Me, My Love
Celeste
Chasm
Chicken Police
Children of Silentown
CHUCHEL Cherry Edition (x2)
CivCity: Rome
Coffee Talk
COMMAND & CONQUER REMASTERED COLLECTION
Company of Heroes 2 + Company of Heroes 2 - Whale and Dolphin Conservation Charity Pattern Pack
Conan Chop Chop
CONTROL STANDARD EDITION (Steam or Epic Games)
COOK, SERVE, DELICIOUS! 3
Coromon
Crowntakers
Crusader Kings Complete
Cultist Simulator (x2)
Curious Expedition
CURSE OF THE DEAD GODS
Cyber Hook
DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
Darkside Detective
Darksiders Genesis
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition (x2)
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dead In Bermuda
Deadly Days
Death Squared (x2)
Deathloop
Decieve Inc.
Deleveled
Desperados 3
Destroy All Humans!
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Disciples: Liberation
Distance
DISTRAINT 2 + Soundtrack
Distrust (x3)
Drawful 2
DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
Dungeons 3 (x2)
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
Dwarfs!?
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm + DLC
EarthNight
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elex
Ellipsis
Embr
Emily is Away <3
ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
Endless Space® - Collection (x2)
Epic Chef
Eternal Threads
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evan's Remains
Evergarden
EVERSPACE™
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Fallout 1
Family Man
Farmer's Dynasty
Fibbage XL
Fights in Tight Spaces
Figment
Finding Paradise
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
Fort Triumph
Founders' Fortune
Framed Collection
Framed Collection (x2)
Freddi Fish 2: The Case of the Haunted Schoolhouse
Freddi Fish 3: The Case of the Stolen Conch Shell
Freddi Fish 4: The Case of the Hogfish Rustlers of Briny Gulch
Freddi Fish 5: The Case of the Creature of Coral Cove
Freddi Fish and Luther's Maze Madness
Freddi Fish and Luther's Water Worries
Freedom Force
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich
Friends Vs Friends
FTL
Full Metal Furies
Full Throttle Remastered (x2)
Fury Unleashed
Gas Station Simulator
Genesis Noir
Get In The Car, Loser!
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
God's Trigger
Golf Gang
Gonner
GRAV (Early Access)
Greedfall
GRID 2
Grime
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Growing Up
Guns of Icarus Online
Hacknet (x2) + Hacknet Labyrinths DLC (x1)
Haiku, the Robot
Hammerting
Hard Reset Redux
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heaven's Vault
Heavenly Bodies (x2)
Hell Let Loose
Hell Pie
Hello Neighbor Hide and Seek
Hellpoint
Hero Siege Complete + Cyberpunk Samurai + Demon Slayer Bundle + Extra slots & stash space + ClassShield Lancer + Shaman + Plague Doctor + Marauder + Amazon+Avenger Paladin DLCs
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Hexcells Complete Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hidden Folks
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (x2)
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hokko life
Hollow Knight
Hot Brass
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hotshot Racing
Hyper Light Drifter
I am not a Monster: First Contact
I'm not a Monster
If Found...
Impostor Factory
In Between
In Sound Mind
Injustice Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition (x3)
INK Deluxe Edition
Iris and the Giant
Iron Harvest
Jack Move
JumpJet Rex
Jupiter Hell
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Kerbal Space Program
KeyWe
Kill it with Fire
KillSquad
Kingdom Classic
Kingdom Two Crowns
Kingdom: New Lands (x2)
Knights of Pen and Paper 2
Kraken Academy!!
Late Shift
Later Alligator
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD2-MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition
LEGO DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition
LEGO Ninjago Movie Video Game
LEGO® Batman 2 DC Super Heroes™
LEGO® Worlds
Let's Explore the Farm (Junior Field Trips)
Let's Explore the Jungle (Junior Field Trips)
Levelhead
Leviathan Warships
Life is Strange 2: Complete Season
Life is Strange: True Colors
Lone Fungus
Lords and Villeins
Lostwinds
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Lumino City
Luna's Wandering Stars
Machinarium
Mad Max
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Magicka
Maid of Sker
Majesty 2
Majesty Gold HD
Marooners
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Massive Chalice
Meeple Station
Merchany of the Skies
Metal Hellsinger
Metro Exodus
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
MINIT (x2)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Loves You
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Morkredd
MOTHERGUNSHIP
Moving Out
Mr. Shifty
Mr.Prepper
Mushroom 11
My Memory of Us
My Time at Portia
Narita Boy
Naruto to Boruto: Shinobi Strikers
NBA 2K20
NEBUCHADNEZZAR
Necromunda: Hired Gun
Necronator: Dead Wrong (x2)
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
Neon Drive (Steam)
Newt One
Niche (x3)
NICKELODEON ALL-STAR BRAWL
Nimbatus The Space Drone Constructor
Ninja Pizza Girl
No Time to Explain Remastered
No Time to Relax
Not For Broadcast
Not Tonight
Oaken
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack (x2)
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli World - Rad edition
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Omno
One Step From Eden
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
OPERATION: TANGO
Opus Magnum
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength (x2)
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You (x3)
Othercide
Otxo
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Overcooked! 2 - Surf 'n' Turf Pack
Overcooked! 2 - Too Many Cooks
Overgrowth
Overlord II
OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Pajama Sam 2: Thunder And Lightning Aren't So Frightening
Pajama Sam 3: You Are What You Eat From Your Head To Your Feet
Pajama Sam's Lost & Found
Pajama Sam's Sock Works
Pajama Sam: Games to Play on Any Day
Pale Echoes
Panzer Corps 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm (x2)
Paradise Killer
Party Hard (x2)
Patch Quest
PayDay 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Pesterquest
Pesterquest
PGA TOUR 2K21
Pikuniku
Pinstripe (x2)
Plague Inc: Evolved
Planet of the Eyes
Planet Zoo
PlateUp! (x2)
Plunge
Police Stories
Police Stories
Portal Knights
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Prodeus
Project Highrise (x2)
Project Winter
Psychonauts
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Balloon-o-Rama
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Dog on a Stick
Putt-Putt® Enters the Race
Putt-Putt® Goes to the Moon
Putt-Putt® Joins the Circus
Putt-Putt® Joins the Parade
Putt-Putt® Travels Through Time
Putt-Putt®: Pep's Birthday Surprise
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Q.U.B.E. 2
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
Quest of Dungeons
Quiplash
Railroad Corporation
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
Rain World
Raji: An Ancient Epic
Rapture Rejects + Safari outfit
Realpolitiks
Rebel Cops
Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
Regency Solitaire
Regions of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball (x3)
Relicta
Remnants of Isolation
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retro Game Crunch
Retrowave
Revita
Rime
Rise and Shine
Rising Dusk
Rituals
Road 96
Road to Ballhalla
Roadwarden
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken
ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS
Rogue Heroes:Ruins of Tasos
Roguebook
Rollerdrome
ROUNDS (x2)
Rustler
Rusty Lake Paradise
RÖKI
S.W.I.N.E. HD REMASTER
Saints Row: The Third
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Satellite Reign (x2)
Scorn
Scourgebringer
Screencheat
Scribblenauts Unlimited (x2)
Secrets of Raetikon
Shadow Complex Remastered (Epic Games)
SHADOW TACTICS: AIKO'S CHOICE
Shady Part of Me
Shelter 2 (x3)
Shenmue I & II
shutshimi
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War (x2)
SimplePlanes
SIMULACRA
Size Matters
Slipstream
Sniper Elite
Sniper Elite 3 (x2)
Sniper Elite V2
Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
Song of Horror
SOULCALIBUR VI
Souldiers
Speed Brawl
Spellcaster University
Spelunky
Spirit of the Island
Spirits
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM - REHYDRATED
Spy Fox 2 "Some Assembly Required"
Spy Fox 3 "Operation Ozone"
Spy Fox in "Dry Cereal"
Spy Fox In: Hold the Mustard
Squad (Early Access)
StarCrossed
State of Mind
Staxel
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stick Fight: The Game (x4)
Streamline Early Access
Streets of Rage
Stronghold Crusader 2
Subsurface Circular (x3)
Suchart:Genius Artist Simulator
Sudden Strike 4
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super Galaxy Squadron EX
Super Hexagon (x2)
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Super House of the Dead Ninjas (x2)
Super Lesbian Animal RPG
Super Magbot
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT (x3)
Surgeon Simulator + Anniversary Ed. Content
Surviving the Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag and Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tainted Grail: Conquest
Tales from the Borderlands
Tales of Berseria™
Tales of the Neon Sea
Tangledeep + Soundtrack (x2)
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Team Indie
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
Telltale Texas Hold'em
TemTem
The Adventure Pals
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
The Ascent
The Ball
The Battle of Polytopia
The Blackout Club
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: MAN OF MEDAN
The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos + Goodies + OST
The Dwarves
The First Tree (x3)
The Forgotten City
The Gardens Between
The Henry Stickmin Collection
THE INVISIBLE HAND
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Quarry Deluxe Edition
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The Stillness of the Wind
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead - 400 Days
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead: Final Season
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Telltale Definitive Series
The Wild Eight
The Witness (x2)
theHunter: Call of the Wild
Them and Us
There is No Light:Enhanced Edition
Think of the Children
Thirty Flights of Loving
This is the Police
This War of Mine
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit (x3)
Tilt Brush
TIMEframe
Tin Can
Titan Quest Anniversary
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (x2)
Tokyo 42
Tooth and Tail (x2)
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Total Tank Simulator (x2)
Tower of Guns (x2)
Train Simulator 2017 + Platform Clutter + Town Scenery
Train Station Renovation
Tribes of Midgard
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
Tropico 4
Turbo Gold Racing
Twin Mirror (x2)
Two Point Campus
Ultimate Chicken Horse (x3)
Undertale
Unmetal
Unpacking
Valfaris
Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
Vane
Vault of the Void
Verdun
Vertiginous Golf
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
Visage
Void Bastards
Volgarr the Viking
Wandersong
Wargroove
Waking Mars
WARHAMMER 40,000: CHAOS GATE - DAEMONHUNTERS
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart of the Forest
West of Dead
Westerado: Double Barreled
Where the Water Tastes like Wine
WHO PRESSED MUTE ON UNCLE MARCUS
Wildfire
WINDJAMMERS 2
Windward
Wingspan
Wizard of Legend (x3)
World of Goo
Worms Revolution
WORMS RUMBLE + LEGENDS PACK DLC
Wuppo (x2)
WWE 2K Battlegrounds
WWE 2K Battlegrounds + Brawler Pass
WWE 2K23
XCOM: CHIMERA SQUAD
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
Yes, Your Grace
Yooka-Laylee
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 6 The Lost Gold
Ziggurat
Zombie Night Terror
Others GameMaker Studio Pro
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Battleborn Starter Skin Pack
Darkest Dungeon Shieldbreaker DLC
Double Fine Adventure Documentary
GWENT - Ultimate Starter Pack
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 1 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 2 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 3 DLC
Mage and Minions - $10 In-Game Currency
Music Maker EDM Edition
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
PAYDAY 2: Sydney Mega Mask
Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting
XCOM® 2: Reinforcement Pack
XCOM® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES

First Reading - Acts 1:1-11
In the first book,^\)^a\) O Theoph′ilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, ² until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commandment through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. ³ To them he presented himself alive after his passion by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days, and speaking of the kingdom of God. ⁴ And while staying^\)^b\) with them he charged them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, “you heard from me, ⁵ for John baptized with water, but before many days you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”
⁶ So when they had come together, they asked him, “Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” ⁷ He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has fixed by his own authority. ⁸ But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samar′ia and to the end of the earth.” ⁹ And when he had said this, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. ¹⁰ And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, ¹¹ and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”
Responsorial Psalm - Ps 47:2-3, 6-7, 8-9
Second Reading - Eph 1:17-23
that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, ¹⁸ having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹ and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power in us who believe, according to the working of his great might ²⁰ which he accomplished in Christ when he raised him from the dead and made him sit at his right hand in the heavenly places, ²¹ far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come; ²² and he has put all things under his feet and has made him the head over all things for the church, ²³ which is his body, the fulness of him who fills all in all.
Gospel - Mk 16:15-20
And he said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation. ¹⁶ He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. ¹⁷ And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; ¹⁸ they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”
¹⁹ So then the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven, and sat down at the right hand of God. ²⁰ And they went forth and preached everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by the signs that attended it. Amen.
The Easter Season is coming to a close! This past weekend was the Solemnity of the Ascension of Our Lord and next weekend is Pentecost!
I want to focus first on the Gospel message today: “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation."
Jesus tells this really to every single one of us. Every week at the end of Mass, Catholics here the words "The mass is now over, let us go forth in peace glorifying the world by our light." Some Protestants to try and escape the binding loosing/authority to forgive sins given to the apostles, they try to say "Oh, Jesus only meant that in terms of spreading the Gospel." WHAT!? No. Jesus tells us to preach the Gospel to all of creation! Jesus came to save everyone and so everyone needs to here the Gospel for it is only through Jesus Christ, only through the Gospel, only through the Church that one can be saved!
Now, focusing on the angels' words from Acts:

“Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”

Right before this, the apostles say "Jesus. How could you possibly go? You still need to restore the Kingdom of God!" Jesus tells them. "You are going to be doing it. Not me." Then the angels speak these words remining us that our work is not Heaven, but on Earth. We need to be the ones teaching the gospel, caring for the sick, tending the poor, visiting the imprisoned, etc.
To date, by my research the Catholic Church has

• 18000 clinics
• 16000 elderly/special needs homes
• 5500 hospitals (accounts for 1 out of 6 hospital beds)
• 200000 schools across elementary, middle, high, and university levels

Just in 2021

• managed 2692 food distribution sites
• provided $116,000,000 in disaster relief
• built more than 34000 permanent housing units

Furthermore, many of these services serve those that are in underdeveloped regions. To define "many," 65%+ of the health services are in underdeveloped regions. This almost certainly likely only begins to capture the immense charity work that the Catholic Church is responsible for! Spread this across 2000 years of Church history: 9 clinics, 8 elderly homes, 2 hospitals, and 100 schools opening every year! This is not to brag about the Catholic Church has done, nor say that the work is done. By no means! But it is meant to highlight what it means to build the kingdom of God here on earth. Again, why do you look to Heaven when there is work to be done on Earth! Jesus specifically commands us to do these things and said that those we do not do them for we do not do for Christ!
Yes, we do not do them to be saved, but rather because we are saved! We do them out of love for Christ and His people!
Christ might have departed from us physically, but He is still hard at work through His Church, His body. He sent us the Holy Spirit to be an advocate for the Church, as well as gave us the apostles to carry on Christ's mission through their teachings and other works.
Let us pray:
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
God, Our Father in Heaven, You gave us Your Son, Jesus Christ to come into this world to die for our sins. You gave us Your Spirit to guide us always calling us to you. Give us the grace of Your Son, the Bread of Life, in the Blessed Sacrament of the Eucharist to give us not only bodily strength but spiritual strength to all those who often grow tired from doing your sacred work. You gave us dominion over all the birds of the sky, fish of the sea, and creatures that crawl about the land, help us to cherish your creation that you have given to us as stewards. Help us to recognize that, as stewards of not only Your creation, but Your Word, that our work is not only looking upwards, but outwards. We are all your children created in your image. Help us to see you in the elderly woman alone on the park bench, the homeless man begging on the street, the criminal behind bars, and many more. How could we ever imagine others seeing You in us if we cannot see You in them?
We ask you today to heal the battle wounds that Your Most Holy Church has suffered. Eradicate all sources of corruption and evil in your Virgin Bride. Help us to aid those who have suffered ill at the hands of those who claim to be your servants. We ask Your mercy upon these people who abuse Your Name and give us the grace to be able to forgive them, particularly if we ourselves have been hurt. If we have been a source of pain to others, fill our hearts with Your charity so we can turn away from that evil and love our neighbor as You have loved Your Son.
We ask this in the name of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, Your only Begotten Son and the Holy Spirit who together with you and the Son is both adored and glorified. Amen.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

I am currently taking paypal for games, you always go first and cover fees
For game trades, you always go first and message me, usually it takes me about 1-2 days to get back to you at the latest
My Rep Page has not been updated in about 5 years, but I have a lot of trades finished
Bolded items are just the ones I would like to consider keeping so don't feel as though you need to offer more for the game
Wants
Oneshot
Subnautica
Stellaris (and dlc)
Wishlist Items
Have
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ADOM (ANCIENT DOMAINS OF MYSTERY)
Bridge Constructor Portal
Chivalry 2 - Epic Edition
Deep Rock Galactic
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Doom Eternal
Elite Dangerous
Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
Ghostrunner
Honey I Joined a Cult
Lost Ruins
Mass Effect Legendary Edition (temporarily unavailable)
MONSTER TRAIN (FIRST CLASS - COLLECTORS EDITION)
OUTWARD + THE SOROBOREANS AND OUTWARD SOUNDTRACK
PATHFINDER: WRATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS
Rebel Inc: Escalation
REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
Roboquest
SCP:Secret Files
SHOTGUN KING: THE FINAL CHECKMATE
Songs of Conquest
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Surviving Mars
THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales
VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 4 COMPLETE EDITION
Wasteland 3
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yakuza 4 Remastered
2064: Read Only Memories
20XX
7 Grand Steps

observer (x3)

A Good Snowman is Hard to Build
A Juggler's Tale
A Mortician's Tale
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Aaero
Aces and Adventures
AER Memories of Old (x2)
Age of Wonders III
Ageless
Agents of Mayhem
AI War: Fleet Command
Alien Spidy
Aliens:Fireteam Elite
Alina of the Arena
All You Can Eat
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Army Men RTS
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation (x2)
Assassin's Creed® Origins
Assault Android Cactus
Atom RPG Trudograd
Atomicrops
AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
Backbone
Bad End Theater
Banner Saga Trilogy - Deluxe Pack
Banners of Ruin
Bastion (x2)
Batman Arkham Origins (x2)
Battle Chef Brigade
Beacon Pines
Beat Hazard Ultra
Bee Simulator
Before Your Eyes
BEHIND THE FRAME: THE FINEST SCENERY
Beholder
BENDY AND THE DARK REVIVAL
Beneath Oresa
Between the Stars
Beyond a Steel Sky
Binary Domain
Bioshock Remastered
BioShock: The Collection
Biped
Black Book
Blade Assault
Blasphemous
Blazing Beaks
Bleed 2
Bloodstained®︎: Ritual of the Night
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2
Boomerang Fu (x3)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
Boreal Blade
Boyfriend Dungeon
Broken Age (x2)
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
BUILDER SIMULATOR
Burly Men At Sea (x2)
Bury Me, My Love
Celeste
Chasm
Chicken Police
Children of Silentown
CHUCHEL Cherry Edition (x2)
CivCity: Rome
Coffee Talk
COMMAND & CONQUER REMASTERED COLLECTION
Company of Heroes 2 + Company of Heroes 2 - Whale and Dolphin Conservation Charity Pattern Pack
Conan Chop Chop
CONTROL STANDARD EDITION (Steam or Epic Games)
COOK, SERVE, DELICIOUS! 3
Coromon
Crowntakers
Crusader Kings Complete
Cultist Simulator (x2)
Curious Expedition
CURSE OF THE DEAD GODS
Cyber Hook
DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
Darkside Detective
Darksiders Genesis
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition (x2)
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dead In Bermuda
Deadly Days
Death Squared (x2)
Deathloop
Decieve Inc.
Deleveled
Desperados 3
Destroy All Humans!
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Disciples: Liberation
Distance
DISTRAINT 2 + Soundtrack
Distrust (x3)
Drawful 2
DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
Dungeons 3 (x2)
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
Dwarfs!?
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm + DLC
EarthNight
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elex
Ellipsis
Embr
Emily is Away <3
ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
Endless Space® - Collection (x2)
Epic Chef
Eternal Threads
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evan's Remains
Evergarden
EVERSPACE™
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Fallout 1
Family Man
Farmer's Dynasty
Fibbage XL
Fights in Tight Spaces
Figment
Finding Paradise
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
Fort Triumph
Founders' Fortune
Framed Collection
Framed Collection (x2)
Freddi Fish 2: The Case of the Haunted Schoolhouse
Freddi Fish 3: The Case of the Stolen Conch Shell
Freddi Fish 4: The Case of the Hogfish Rustlers of Briny Gulch
Freddi Fish 5: The Case of the Creature of Coral Cove
Freddi Fish and Luther's Maze Madness
Freddi Fish and Luther's Water Worries
Freedom Force
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich
Friends Vs Friends
FTL
Full Metal Furies
Full Throttle Remastered (x2)
Fury Unleashed
Gas Station Simulator
Genesis Noir
Get In The Car, Loser!
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
God's Trigger
Golf Gang
Gonner
GRAV (Early Access)
Greedfall
GRID 2
Grime
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Growing Up
Guns of Icarus Online
Hacknet (x2) + Hacknet Labyrinths DLC (x1)
Haiku, the Robot
Hammerting
Hard Reset Redux
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heaven's Vault
Heavenly Bodies (x2)
Hell Let Loose
Hell Pie
Hello Neighbor Hide and Seek
Hellpoint
Hero Siege Complete + Cyberpunk Samurai + Demon Slayer Bundle + Extra slots & stash space + ClassShield Lancer + Shaman + Plague Doctor + Marauder + Amazon+Avenger Paladin DLCs
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Hexcells Complete Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hidden Folks
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (x2)
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hokko life
Hollow Knight
Hot Brass
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hotshot Racing
Hyper Light Drifter
I am not a Monster: First Contact
I'm not a Monster
If Found...
Impostor Factory
In Between
In Sound Mind
Injustice Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition (x3)
INK Deluxe Edition
Iris and the Giant
Iron Harvest
Jack Move
JumpJet Rex
Jupiter Hell
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Kerbal Space Program
KeyWe
Kill it with Fire
KillSquad
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Kingdom Two Crowns
Kingdom: New Lands (x2)
Knights of Pen and Paper 2
Kraken Academy!!
Late Shift
Later Alligator
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD2-MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition
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LEGO® Batman 2 DC Super Heroes™
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Let's Explore the Jungle (Junior Field Trips)
Levelhead
Leviathan Warships
Life is Strange 2: Complete Season
Life is Strange: True Colors
Lone Fungus
Lords and Villeins
Lostwinds
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Lumino City
Luna's Wandering Stars
Machinarium
Mad Max
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Magicka
Maid of Sker
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Majesty Gold HD
Marooners
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Massive Chalice
Meeple Station
Merchany of the Skies
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Mind Scanners
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MINIT (x2)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Loves You
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Morkredd
MOTHERGUNSHIP
Moving Out
Mr. Shifty
Mr.Prepper
Mushroom 11
My Memory of Us
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Naruto to Boruto: Shinobi Strikers
NBA 2K20
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Necromunda: Hired Gun
Necronator: Dead Wrong (x2)
Neo Cab
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Neon Drive (Steam)
Newt One
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NICKELODEON ALL-STAR BRAWL
Nimbatus The Space Drone Constructor
Ninja Pizza Girl
No Time to Explain Remastered
No Time to Relax
Not For Broadcast
Not Tonight
Oaken
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack (x2)
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli World - Rad edition
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Omno
One Step From Eden
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
OPERATION: TANGO
Opus Magnum
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength (x2)
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You (x3)
Othercide
Otxo
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Overcooked! 2 - Surf 'n' Turf Pack
Overcooked! 2 - Too Many Cooks
Overgrowth
Overlord II
OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Pajama Sam 2: Thunder And Lightning Aren't So Frightening
Pajama Sam 3: You Are What You Eat From Your Head To Your Feet
Pajama Sam's Lost & Found
Pajama Sam's Sock Works
Pajama Sam: Games to Play on Any Day
Pale Echoes
Panzer Corps 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
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Paradise Killer
Party Hard (x2)
Patch Quest
PayDay 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Pesterquest
Pesterquest
PGA TOUR 2K21
Pikuniku
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Plague Inc: Evolved
Planet of the Eyes
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Plunge
Police Stories
Police Stories
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Primal Carnage: Extinction
Prodeus
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Psychonauts
Putt-Putt® and Pep's Balloon-o-Rama
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Putt-Putt® Enters the Race
Putt-Putt® Goes to the Moon
Putt-Putt® Joins the Circus
Putt-Putt® Joins the Parade
Putt-Putt® Travels Through Time
Putt-Putt®: Pep's Birthday Surprise
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Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
Quest of Dungeons
Quiplash
Railroad Corporation
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Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
Rain World
Raji: An Ancient Epic
Rapture Rejects + Safari outfit
Realpolitiks
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Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
Regency Solitaire
Regions of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball (x3)
Relicta
Remnants of Isolation
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
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Rime
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Road 96
Road to Ballhalla
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Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken
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Rogue Heroes:Ruins of Tasos
Roguebook
Rollerdrome
ROUNDS (x2)
Rustler
Rusty Lake Paradise
RÖKI
S.W.I.N.E. HD REMASTER
Saints Row: The Third
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Satellite Reign (x2)
Scorn
Scourgebringer
Screencheat
Scribblenauts Unlimited (x2)
Secrets of Raetikon
Shadow Complex Remastered (Epic Games)
SHADOW TACTICS: AIKO'S CHOICE
Shady Part of Me
Shelter 2 (x3)
Shenmue I & II
shutshimi
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War (x2)
SimplePlanes
SIMULACRA
Size Matters
Slipstream
Sniper Elite
Sniper Elite 3 (x2)
Sniper Elite V2
Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
Song of Horror
SOULCALIBUR VI
Souldiers
Speed Brawl
Spellcaster University
Spelunky
Spirit of the Island
Spirits
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM - REHYDRATED
Spy Fox 2 "Some Assembly Required"
Spy Fox 3 "Operation Ozone"
Spy Fox in "Dry Cereal"
Spy Fox In: Hold the Mustard
Squad (Early Access)
StarCrossed
State of Mind
Staxel
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stick Fight: The Game (x4)
Streamline Early Access
Streets of Rage
Stronghold Crusader 2
Subsurface Circular (x3)
Suchart:Genius Artist Simulator
Sudden Strike 4
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super Galaxy Squadron EX
Super Hexagon (x2)
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Super House of the Dead Ninjas (x2)
Super Lesbian Animal RPG
Super Magbot
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT (x3)
Surgeon Simulator + Anniversary Ed. Content
Surviving the Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag and Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tainted Grail: Conquest
Tales from the Borderlands
Tales of Berseria™
Tales of the Neon Sea
Tangledeep + Soundtrack (x2)
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Team Indie
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
Telltale Texas Hold'em
TemTem
The Adventure Pals
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
The Ascent
The Ball
The Battle of Polytopia
The Blackout Club
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: MAN OF MEDAN
The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos + Goodies + OST
The Dwarves
The First Tree (x3)
The Forgotten City
The Gardens Between
The Henry Stickmin Collection
THE INVISIBLE HAND
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Quarry Deluxe Edition
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The Stillness of the Wind
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead - 400 Days
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead: Final Season
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Telltale Definitive Series
The Wild Eight
The Witness (x2)
theHunter: Call of the Wild
Them and Us
There is No Light:Enhanced Edition
Think of the Children
Thirty Flights of Loving
This is the Police
This War of Mine
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit (x3)
Tilt Brush
TIMEframe
Tin Can
Titan Quest Anniversary
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove (x2)
Tokyo 42
Tooth and Tail (x2)
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Total Tank Simulator (x2)
Tower of Guns (x2)
Train Simulator 2017 + Platform Clutter + Town Scenery
Train Station Renovation
Tribes of Midgard
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
Tropico 4
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Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
Vane
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Vertiginous Golf
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
Visage
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Volgarr the Viking
Wandersong
Wargroove
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WARHAMMER 40,000: CHAOS GATE - DAEMONHUNTERS
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart of the Forest
West of Dead
Westerado: Double Barreled
Where the Water Tastes like Wine
WHO PRESSED MUTE ON UNCLE MARCUS
Wildfire
WINDJAMMERS 2
Windward
Wingspan
Wizard of Legend (x3)
World of Goo
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WORMS RUMBLE + LEGENDS PACK DLC
Wuppo (x2)
WWE 2K Battlegrounds
WWE 2K Battlegrounds + Brawler Pass
WWE 2K23
XCOM: CHIMERA SQUAD
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
Yes, Your Grace
Yooka-Laylee
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 6 The Lost Gold
Ziggurat
Zombie Night Terror
Others GameMaker Studio Pro
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Battleborn Starter Skin Pack
Darkest Dungeon Shieldbreaker DLC
Double Fine Adventure Documentary
GWENT - Ultimate Starter Pack
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 1 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 2 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 3 DLC
Mage and Minions - $10 In-Game Currency
Music Maker EDM Edition
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
PAYDAY 2: Sydney Mega Mask
Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting
XCOM® 2: Reinforcement Pack
XCOM® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES

Sorry if this isn't the place to ask questions like this, but I am curious. Looking to upgrade both my fish finder and my trolling motor because they are just so out of date and not helping me in any way while out fishing. For reference, my trolling motor is tiller style and I have no way to fish and troll at the same time in any kind of wind without having to constantly adjust. My fish fiinder is a really old Lowrance that is really small and does ok, but I'd like something bigger so I can see things a bit more clearly. I think I've already decided on the MinnKota Ulterra for the trolling motor as I like the automatic stow and deploy features, but I really don't know anything about the fish finders of today. I have seen the live scan in a few videos and think I would like to have that as an option, but don't know what I need to have that. What other things should I be looking for when buying a finder? And what do I need to be able to use my trolling motor connected to my fish finder so I can follow contour lines or maybe a set path that I set up myself? Thank you for helping me out if you can. I don't live close enough to a retailer that sells this stuff to help me out.

It was brought to my attention that I totally spaced the state I'm in. I also think it's going to be beneficial for you to know I'm a small town girl in Northwest Colorado, because we are a different breed on the western slope. 😁
See my profile for a picture, yes I'm a fluffy girl but I need extra space for my big heart. I'm a work in progress.
Area of study/work: Banking, Branch Support Specialist
Hobbies/interests: Fishing, scenic drives, crafts, love movies, listening to music of many kinds, going out with friends and family, I love camping but haven't been in about 3 years which is sad, board and card games
Tell us a bit about your Christian journey: I was raised in a Christian home but I didn't have a real relationship with the Lord until my ex husband left me. It was then that I discovered Celebrate Recovery and that I was codependent. Since then, I have had my moments of total rebellion just because I was mad at God and the fact that I knew he could change my circumstances in a hot second, but wasn't. I go to church regularly and I attend a Christian concert festival every year. I love my church family and I hope to keep growing in my faith.
What sort of person are you looking for? I'll be honest, I don't know what I want in a man. I will say my 2 biggest requirements are love the Lord more than anything, which means you have a loving heart, and you must be mostly Conservative. I'm not big into politics but I have a firm foundation in a few beliefs that align with this. Pro-life, pro-gun and patriotic, proud to be an American. Oh, and must like country music, if you don't, how are we going to sing on road trips together....
Age range: I'm not opposed to younger than me so I guess any 30s to mid 40s...
Would you be willing to do long distance/ relocate? I'm not willing to relocate, my family and my life are here where I'm at and I love this little town. However, I'm not going to pretend my future husband is next door, so some distance dating is going to be required, just know, this is where I want to be in the future.

General info: NOT MODDED IP: mc.le-community.com Version: 1.20-1.20.4 Recommended Client: Lunar Server Hosted: MID US Server Discord: https://discord.gg/R693rp6vBz (TBD: 50$ giveaways every other week) We are in Early Release.... Full release date: 5/11/24.... You can still play to get an early start!
Thanks for checking out this post! I'm still relatively new to the Minecraft scene, so I appreciate any support on this platform. This Minecraft server originated from a discord server, a small community. We all used to play larger servers with P2W platforms, where players would spend hundreds or even thousands to stay at the top. I'll admit I was one of those players. Since then our community has opted to make our own server, with a play to win dynamic. I took it upon myself to redirect my spending towards creating the best server I can!
Le Community is a new Bukkit Server, looking to expand their community. There may be a lack of players now, but that's something I wish to change! There's ton's of features (which I will list below) that I have been slowly learning and optimizing for a more thrilling experience! The economy utilizes CMI's config hooked in with vault. We also have a secondary currency (Gems) that you can gain from various activities. This allows the player to buy stuff like blocks, farm materials, ores... easily. While the Gems economy features more Exclusive/Profitable options. We also have a PvE arena, Linked in perfectly with our custom mobs & droptables. To fight these mobs we have custom enchantments, hand chosen and configured to create the most balanced, but unique experience possible! There's so much more to read, but I'll leave it for you to experience.
-Custom Terrain -Custom Mobs -Custom Armor -Custom Mobs -Custom abilities -Custom Enchantments - Claiming -Economy -Player warps -Dynamic Fishing -Leaderboards -Tags -coinflips -Custom Crates
Custom terrain
Custom Enchantments
Custom mobs 2 of 10