Its comical 1 of the IT teams only has 1 North American employee remaining. Entire Team are ppl working remote from Over Sea. That all the work are dumped on 1 guy. Now that one guy is receiving 30% pay increase n about to be poached. I am curious what is going to happen.
There is Big exit of Best IT Engineering, Tech consulting of BEST employees last 18 months, it will just get worse. The remaining ppl have 2-3X work load than 2020. They re ALLLLLLLL Looking, the Partners are in denial. Goes 4 long vacations in 5 months, just terrorize ppl. Blames Management/senior Management if anything goes wrong.
VERY soon the company will become the Formal IBM (90% IT service are sent to INDIA/Egypt/Flillippines 18 yrs ago, charge clients North American Rate) The Partners just WANT BEEF UP on Earning sheet so they can MAX their —10% yearly Extra Pay( they get 10% of every thing project earns). Then goes for Lengthy vacation in Europe.

When Spain appears in the international media, it normally has something to do with Catalonia and the Catalan independence movement. Indeed, the issue has been raised several times in this sub, particularly after the Spanish government passed a controversial amnesty law. As such I think it might be interesting to learn about the history of Catalan nationalism and learn how we got here.
1. The origins of Catalonia
In the 8th century the kingdom of Iberia collapsed as the Umayyad caliphate took over most of the peninsula. The Franks launched a counteroffensive and established the County of Barcelona, which broadly encompassed modern day Catalonia. During the subsequent Reconquista period the County of Barcelona became one of the constituent regions of the Crown of Aragon. The Reconquista ended in the XV century, when the Crowns of Aragon and Castille were united through the marriage of Queen Isabel of Castile and Fernando of Aragon, who then conquered the remaining muslim kingdom of Granada in 1492.
The Kingdom of Spain became the largest Empire of the world, but in many ways it was a paper tiger. Internal divisions remained strong, as the Crown of Castile was a centralised and homogenous territory while the Crown of Aragon remained a patchwork of decentralised territories ruled by a series of feudal rights. Furthermore, the Crown of Castile was mainly focused on expanding through the Atlantic Ocean, being the driving force of the colonisation of the Americas and the Philippines, while Aragon remained focused on Mediterranean trade and the Italian wars. The Habsburg dynasty’s desire to create a universal Christian monarchy and defend Catholicism led Spain to become entangled in conflicts all over Europe. By the 17th century Spain was stuck in a quagmire in the Netherlands and also became involved in the 30 years war against France. The monarchy desperately required more funds and manpower, and it soon turned to the crown of Aragon and particularly Barcelona, one of the richest cities in the Mediterranean. Recruitment laws were centralised, taxes were levied on the Crown of Aragon and primarily Castilian troops were quartered in Catalonia. In 1640 this led to a revolt in Catalonia known as the Reaper’s war, which lasted almost 20 years and led to disastrous consequences for the Spanish crown, including the loss of Portugal. Given that nationalism wasn’t still a thing, the war mainly focused on overthrowing the King’s Castilian advisors and getting him to recognise and expand Aragon’s and particularly Barcelona’s economic privileges, but centuries later it would become a key symbol for Catalan nationalism, with the anthem of Catalonia being Els Segadors (The Reapers).
By the end of the war Habsburg Spain was at death’s door. Centuries of inbreeding had caused the Kings to have all kinds of genetic diseases, and Charles II was afflicted with all kinds of deformities and conditions. Perhaps worst of all, he was infertile and when he died in 1700 he unexpectedly named Phillip of Bourbon, grandson of Louis XIV of France, his successor. The choice was well received by Castile, which approved of Louis’s centralising reforms and absolutism and hoped Phillip would carry out similar reforms in Spain. On the other hand, Aragon was terrified of losing its autonomy and privileges and it proclaimed the archduke of Austria King, kickstarting the Spanish war of succession. After a grueling 15 year war Phillip V prevailed and he punished Aragon by abolishing its autonomy as well as the Generalitat of Catalonia, the regional government of Catalonia.
2. Catalan industry and anarchism during Bourbon Spain
The decline of the Spanish Empire only accelerated under the Bourbon’s and Spain’s disastrous performance during the Revolutionary and later Napoleonic wars saw the American colonies declare independence. King Ferdinand VII, who had overseen the loss of the colonies, died in 1833. Having no male heir he changed the succession laws so that his infant daughter could succeed him, which greatly infuriated his brother and heir apparent, Charles, who rose up in revolt, kickstarting the first Carlist war. The loyalists and liberals rallied around Queen Isabella while the more reactionary absolutist joined the Carlist cause. Carlism was also very popular in the Basque Country and rural Catalonia, as Charles’ defence of feudal rights and privileges was seen as a shield against the centralising tendencies of the liberals. The Isabellists ended up prevailing in 1840 after making peace with most of the rebel army and putting down the last Carlist remnants in Catalonia.
The resulting political system was, however, very ineffective. Isabella’s incompetence and erratic nature made her dependent on her advisors and Court. The two parties, the conservative Moderate Party and liberal Progressive Party, therefore tried to vie for her attention. This meant that power changed hands not through elections but through coups in which one of the parties would physically remove the other side’s advisors from the Queen’s court and replace them with their own. This left a small group of generals, such as Moderadate General Narváez and Progressive General Espartero, with effective control over politics.
The main economic policy at the time were the desamortizaciones a series of auctions of ecclesiastical and communal lands. However, partly due to ideological reasons, partly due to the dire need for cash and partly due to outright corruption and patronage, no land reform was carried out and the lands were instead sold to the highest bidders, who were nobles and local notables, the caciques. The caciques controlled the local administration and Civil Guard (rural police) and would use these institutions to rule their regions as effectively feudal lords. In return for patronage and bribes they would deliver the government whatever electoral results it required. However, the uncompetitive and unprofitable nature of Spanish agriculture meant that the caciques had little interest in investing in new agricultural technologies, instead investing all the profits in the nascent industries, primarily in Bilbao and Barcelona, leading southern rural Spain to lag behind. The peasants were infuriated by the poor working conditions and the ruthlessness of the caciques, and many started turning to anarchism. As many of these peasants started moving to Barcelona and other industrial centres they brought anarchism with them, and soon Barcelona was a centre of anarchism.
The constant coups and counter-coups led to the unraveling of the Spanish political arena and even a brief Republic. The Republic would itself be overthrown by a coup in 1875. Cánovas del Castillo, a liberal-conservative monarchist, sought to bring some semblance of stability and reduce military interference by creating a new political system the turnismo. Under this system Cánovas’ Conservative Party and the Liberal Party would periodically take turns at leading a government, using the Interior Ministry to give out patronage and bribes to the caciques so that they would return the desired electoral results. While this temporarily restored a semblance of stability, it only further entrenched the power of the caciques and nothing was done to address the growing social issues, allowing anarchism and to a lesser extent socialism under the Socialist Workers’ Party of Spain (PSOE) to grow. The turnismo started to collapse at the turn of the century, as Cánovas was assassinated by an anarchist in 1897 and the following year Spain was trounced by the US, losing the remaining Caribbean colonies and the Phillipines.
3. The birth of Catalan nationalism
The loss of the Cuban sugar industry was devastating for many Barcelonan industries. For some time many Catalan industrialists and landowners had grown disillusioned with the corrupt establishment in Madrid and the rule of the Castilian caciques, and a nationalist movement had started to form which demanded greater autonomy for Catalonia, including the re-establishment of the Generalitat. The “disaster of 1898” shattered any confidence left in the turnismo and Catalan nationalism grew rapidly, eventually coalescing into the conservative Regionalist League (LR) led by businessman Francesc Cambó. Throughout Spain confidence in the political system had similarly collapsed and a new movement, the Regeneracionismo, sought to completely reform the corrupt government. Conservative politician Eduardo Dato tried to placate desire for change by introducing welfare and social policies, but this proved too little too late and anarchism only kept growing, eventually leading to his assassination. Another Conservative leader, Antonio Maura, wanted to go further, seeking an alliance with the LR to put an end to turnismo and the caciques and create a more decentralised system. Maura’s easing of electoral repression and corruption led to huge wins for the Catalanists, but his ambitions were shattered by the Rif war.
From the start of the XX century Spain had tried to take advantage of France’s expansion in Morocco by taking over the Rif region. This kickstarted a series of wars which were extremely unpopular in Catalonia, leading to a violent suppression of the Catalanist press by the Spanish army. In 1909 Maura tried to put an end to the war by sending over Catalan reservists, which led to violent riots that destroyed much of Barcelona and led to the collapse of his government.
The turnismo would effectively unravel in 1913 when Liberal PM Canalejas was assassinated by an anarchist, leading to a succession crisis that split both main parties in half. Spanish neutrality during WW1 caused an economic boom, but the profits were mainly gobbled up by the great industrialists and didn’t result in wage rises, only further boosting anarchism and socialism. While Catalonia was granted some autonomy in 1914, Catalan MPs demanded further autonomy, setting up their own assembly in 1917, which was dissolved by the army. In turn, anarchists and socialists called a revolutionary strike which was violently put down. Spain fell into a state of near-civil war, as anarchist assassinations, government reprisals and army interference became commonplace. The industrialists of the LR were extremely worried about an anarchist or socialist revolution and Cambó joined a series of national unity governments, which didn’t last very long. Cambó was even offered the Prime Ministership, but he turned it down and instead the LR started supporting the ambitions of the Captain General of Catalonia, Miguel Primo de Rivera.
In 1923, with the support of the King, Primo de Rivera established a military dictatorship. He soon backstabbed the LR and instead indulged in all kinds of corrupt activities. The LR was humiliated by this and a new force came to dominate Catalan nationalism, the Republican Left of Catalonia (ERC). ERC joined other Republican and Socialist forces in overthrowing the monarchy in 1931.
The new Republic quickly granted Catalonia a Statute of Autonomy and ERC came to dominate the new government, but it soon started to clash with the anti-electoralist anarchists of the National Confederation of Labour (CNT), who set up their own parallel institutions. In 1934 the corrupt and opportunistic PM, Alejandro Lerroux, decided to allow the openly anti-Republic CEDA into the government, which led to a revolutionary general strike. The President of Catalonia, Lluis Companys, used this as an opportunity to declare the Republic of Catalonia, though he stated it would be a part of a Federal Spanish Republic. The army under newly appointed Chief of Staff Francisco Franco harshly put down the strike and Catalonian autonomy was revoked.
Autonomy was restored after the victory of the Popular Front at the 1936 elections, but soon the Spanish Civil War broke out. Catalonia managed to defeat general Goded’s coup attempt, largely due to the intervention of the CNT anarchists, but soon a cold-war settled in Republican Catalonian between the ERC government, the anarchists, the Spanish Republican government and several communist parties, while the remnants of LR supported Franco.
4. Catalonia under Franco and the Transition
Franco established a highly centralised and pseudo-fascistic dictatorship founded on Catholicism and Castilian nationalism. He attempted to unite Spanish culture around Castilian symbols and traditions, abolishing all regional symbols and identities and banning regional languages, particularly in the Basque Country and Catalonia. However, after the defeat of the Axis powers Franco started distancing himself from fascism and his enforcement of regional identity bans became somewhat half hearted. While Catalan and other languages couldn’t be taught in schools or used publicly, they could be used in private. Franco initially pursued a policy of autarchy and statism, but this resulted in international isolation and economic stagnation. In the late 50s he gradually liberalised the economy, leading to an economic boom. Cities and industries started growing again and tourism became a huge industry, particularly in Mediterranean cities such as Barcelona. Indeed, Barcelona became something of an international city and started developing a cosmopolitan identity. The similarities between Catalan and Spanish allowed people immigrating from other parts of Spain to rapidly learn the language and integrate despite the ban on the language. Barcelona became a centre of opposition to the increasingly unpopular Franco regime. The only thing sustaining the dictatorship was the economic boom, and once the oil crisis hit any hope of the regime continuing after Franco evaporated.
Franco died in 1975, and in 1976 PM Adolfo Suárez introduced a series of democratic reforms. In 1977 the first democratic elections were held. In Catalonia Suárez’s party underperformed, finishing third behind PSOE’s regional branch, the Socialist Party of Catalonia (PSC) and the Communist Party. Suárez was deeply worried about this and he tried to divide the Catalan left by inviting the exiled President of Catalonia, Josep Tarradellas of ERC, to return. This did indeed divide the leftist vote, but it was a new party that took advantage, Jordi Pujol’s Convergence and Union (CiU). Pujol was a Catalan nationalist of the old LR kind, a centre-right regionalist whose motto was “Spain steals from us”, claiming that Spain took more money from the region than it invested. Nevertheless, he didn’t call for independence, instead pushing for broader autonomy, cultural rights and, especially, economic concessions.
One of the main sticking points when drafting the new Constitution was the issue of regional autonomy. Since there was no broad consensus a flexible “State of Autonomies” was created, in which those regions who wanted to be autonomous would be given Statutes of Autonomy that would be negotiated between the regional and central government and could widely vary in breadth and scope, which in due time would lead to a lot of tensions as regional governments would demand more and more concessions and try to test the limits of the ill-defined system.
5. The birth of the Catalan independence movement
After winning the 1980 regional election Pujol fully took advantage of the new system, using his party’s influence as kingmaker in the Spanish parliament to extract concessions from the government. The Catalan economy outperformed the rest of the country and Pujol's popularity allowed him to remain in power until his retirement in 2003. In those elections Pujol’s successor, Artur Mas, lost to PSC under the popular former mayor of Barcelona, Pasqual Maragall. Maragall formed a coalition government with ERC, which demanded a reform of the Statute of Autonomy that recognised Catalonia as a Nation. Margall himself was extremely critical of the State of Autonomies system, criticising its confusing and unclear nature, and instead argued for the creation of a clearly defined federal and plurinational system. This was supported by many members of PSOE, including the party leader, José Luis Rodriguez Zapatero. However, when Zapatero came to power in 2004 his priorities started to shift, as Constitutional reform wasn’t popular and he also required the support of Mas’ CiU to remain in power. Relations between Zapatero and Maragall started to deteriorate.
Negotiations to reform Catalonia’s Statute began, with Maragall trying to get all Catalan parties as well as Zapatero on board. During a parliamentary debate in which Mas blamed the government for the collapse of a series of buildings in Barcelona, Maragall gave a response that changed Catalan and Spanish politics forever, “You [CiU], have a problem, and that problem is called 3%”. Mas was infuriated. He threatened with bringing Maragall’s and possibly Zapatero’s governments down if Margall didn’t apologise, which the latter did. However, the media was astounded by this whole exchange and started investigating. Soon it was revealed that Pujol and CiU had been demanding kickbacks for years in exchange for public contracts. Mas went to Zapatero and stated that he would withdraw his support for the Statute reform and central government if Maragall wasn’t dropped, and Zapatero agreed, proceeding to negotiate directly with Mas. The Statute’s formal recognition of Catalan Nationhood was dropped, which caused ERC to withdraw from Maragall’s cabinet and oppose the reform. The new Statute was approved and received overwhelming support in a referendum.
Maragall called snap elections in 2006 but Zapatero forced him to announce he wouldn’t run for re-election and replaced him with the Minister of Industry, José Montilla, who was far less popular. Despite losses for the coalition forces, Montilla again formed a government with ERC, but soon the 2008 financial crisis hit and the government’s popularity collapsed. In 2010 the Constitutional Court declared parts of the Statute unconstitutional, including the recognition of Catalan as the preferential language in Catalonia. This caused a huge uproar in Catalonia, as the overwhelming majority of Catalans had supported the new Statute and felt that the Constitutional Court was acting undemocratically. This, together with the loss of confidence in the political establishment due to the financial crash led to a massive growth of pro-independence sentiment, which up to that point had been limited to a small faction within ERC. CiU ramped up the nationalist rhetoric and won the 2010 elections.
6. The Procés
The 3% case made it to the courts and many former CiU leaders, including Pujol, were slapped with corruption charges. As a result Mas’ popularity declined, which was only worsened by his unpopular austerity policy. Worried about this and seeing the rise of pro-independence sentiment Mas tried to bolster his popularity in 2012 by declaring his support for independence and calling snap elections during the celebrations of the national day of Catalonia, marking the start of the Procés (process towards independence). The move only had limited success, as CiU suffered heavy losses in the election while the more pro-indepence ERC gained many seats. A new staunchly anti-independence party, Citizens (Cs) also had a strong showing.
CiU and ERC formed a coalition government and Mas called for an “non-referendum” vote on whether Catalonia should become independent, trying to skirt around the fact that only the central government could call for a referendum. Controversially, the Catalanist wing of the PSC managed to get the party to support the law authorising Mas to call the “non-referendum” even though they opposed holding the vote. Rajoy’s central government brought the law to the Constitutional Court, which banned any vote on independence being held until a final ruling was handed down. Mas ignored this, holding the “non-referendum” in November 2014. 80% voted in favour of independence, but the vote was boycotted by the anti-independence parties and the turnout was less than 40%.
Given the inconclusive result of the vote and the fact that Mas was now under investigation for holding an illegal referendum against the Constitutional Court’s orders, Mas called snap elections in 2015. CiU was by this point tainted by corruption scandals and divided over the issue of independence and Mas created a new party an electoral coalition with ERC and other nationalist parties, Junts per Sí (together for yes). Junts won the elections but lost the majority, relying on the hardline pro-independence and far-left CUP while Cs became the main opposition party. CUP refused to support Mas, and he stepped aside in favour of Carles Puigdemont. Unlike Mas, whose support for independence had always been of a pragmatic nature, Puigdemont was a hardline believer in independence, and with the support of CUP became President in 2016.
Clashes between Puigdemont, Rajoy and the Constitutional Court became a daily occurrence as tensions kept growing. Puigdemont finally called an independence referendum on the 1st of October 2017. Rajoy sent the police to shut down the voting sites and clashes between the police and protestors took place all over Catalonia. The results of the referendum aren’t clear, as its illegal nature means that none of the usual guarantees were in place, but according to the Generalitat 90% voted for independence with a turnout of 43%. Several days later Puigdemont declared Catalonia’s independence, though he stated it remained “suspended”. The central government then suspended Catalan autonomy and several members of the Generalitat were arrested, though Puigdemont managed to flee the country.
Snap elections were held in Catalonia with Puigdemont’s Junts and ERC not joining forces this time, which allowed Cs to take the plurality with both Junts and ERC following very closely. Quim Torra, a Puigdemont ally became President, though he claimed to be “acting President” until Puigdemont could return. Torra was also a hardline supporter of independence and his tenure was marked by constant clashes with the central government, the trial against the leaders of the independence referendum and attempts to get Puigdemont back to Spain.
In 2018 the pro-independence parties supported Pedro Sánchez’s motion of no confidence against Rajoy, making him PM of Spain. In return, Sánchez started negotiations with the nationalist parties to calm down tensions. During the 2019 European elections Puigdemont was elected MEP, but the EU parliament rescinded his immunity, leaving him in limbo again. Meanwhile, Sánchez reformed the Criminal Code to reduce the penalties on those accused of holding the independence referendum and in 2021 pardoned several of them.
This caused rifts in the nationalist camp. Junts’ centre-right policies had always caused rifts with ERC, which was economically closer to PSOE, and as tensions with the central government winded down tensions within Torra’s cabinet rose. Torra kept supporting a hardline stance on independence while ERC was open to negotiating with Sánchez. In 2020 Torra placed symbols in support of the jailed independence leaders, and he was ordered by the courts to take them down, which he refused to do, leading to a conviction and bar from public office. Torra asked the ERC speaker of the Catalan parliament to deny any motion vacating him from the Presidency, but the speaker ended up siding against Torra. Torra’s VP, ERC leader Pere Aragonés thus became President.
In 2021 he called snap elections which PSC under Salvador Illa, who had been Health Minister during the pandemic, narrowly won, though he had the same number of seats as ERC and Junts had only one seat less. Junts had always seen itself as the head of the independence movement, and tensions with ERC only grew, though it did end up allowing Aragonés to remain President. These clashes eventually led Junts to withdraw its support for the government in 2022 but Aragonés remained in power with the support of PSC.
In 2023 general elections were held in Spain and Sánchez’s PSOE finished second, requiring the support of both Junts and ERC to remain in power. Despite having repeatedly ruled amnesty out during the campaign he agreed to pass an amnesty law in exchange for their support. Aragonés' precarious government collapsed in 2024 when he failed to pass a budget and he called snap elections. Ill’as PSC won a plurality of the seats, with Junts under Puigdemont a distant second and Aragonés’s ERC losing many seats. For the first time in history Catalan nationalist parties don’t hold a majority in parliament, and the left wing PSC-ERC-Comuns option hold just the amount of seats needed for a majority.
As of today, this is how things stand. The amnesty law passed last week but Sánchez has been delaying its publishing until after the EU elections for electoral purposes. In Catalonia ERC is in a state of crisis, having the option of either allowing Illa to govern or joining forces with Puigdemont to force new elections. Some have stated that the Procés is now over, but support for independence remains relatively high and Puigdemont, who seems poised to return soon, claims that if new elections are held he’ll win.
Don't hesitate to leave any questions or comments bellow!

Throwaway bc my ex stalks me on my other account (which I keep bc i think its so funny that he stalks me on Reddit of all places). Im 19 and at the end of my first year of uni, I moved from a pretty rural area to the centre of a city. I'm not from a well off family, but recently my parents have been doing better which means they can support me more at uni by giving me money. This is combined with my student loan and disability support money so I have a decent amount meaning I only have to work during summer. I don't go out much (because of my disibility) so I often have a bit of money saved up that I started using to buy my friends drinks and dinner sometimes. I don't actually spend that much on them all together, but I know what its like to not have much so I want to help them.
The biggest thing I think they are upset about is that, since I come from a rural place Im not used to seeing homeless people around and especially not used to how people seem to treat them as less than human, so I give them money if I have it on me but its usually just buying them a meal or anything they ask for. I usually spend like £20-40 a week on this. This usually means that I can't go out for drinks or get myself a nice new item of clothing I wanted, but I'm okay with that, because I don't NEED that stuff. I told my parents this and it seems they are upset about me not using it to treat myself or save up. I just feel like I have the basics of what I need and these people quite literally have nothing so the most I can do is give them £10 or buy them a meal.
I remember once I was with my friends and a woman came up to us asking for some money and none of us had anything, and there were no shops open so we couldnt and she got upset and angry bc no one was helping her. My friends were like this is why i only give to the nice ones but?? Wouldn't you be upset and angry if you were in her situation?? I'm glad she has the energy and strength to be angry about her situation bc I would be and its better than giving up??
Its not that my parents hate homeless people, I know my dad gives to charities and homeless people when he sees them, I think they just don't like the fact that I'm spending money that I could use for me on them (I have a history of mental health issues and putting others before myself to a harmful extent). But this isnt that, it just hurts to see people not even have the basics of what they need to survive, and then ofc the pain I have seeing it is nothing to what they experience.
I just don't know how to explain this to them without them thinking I'm back in self-destructive habits, especially combined with the fact that I've been buying stuff for my friends so I have a lot less money than we budgeted for. They want me to reduce the amount I'm giving but, I think that's a bit stupid bc I am fine and the people I am giving to aren't??
Idk I can't tell if I'm in the right or not. Especially considering it is their money that they want me to use for myself since they have never been able to do that for me before. I don't want to worry them or make them upset.

I need help coming up with a pun (or something) for family vacation shirts. We're going on the Icon of the Seas cruise ship, so I'd like to use something with the word ICON or ICONIC, etc
All I've managed to come up with is "iconic family vacation" but I'd love to use something more clever than that.
Any help is appreciated! TIA!!

To give a little backdrop.. I hardly ever like a girl and going thru a terrible breakup phase for quite sometime now. My female interaction is only limited to some colleagues, most work talk and sometimes a friendly talk here & there. I somehow ended up meeting a girl who isn't a colleague and as she showed interest in me, I've told her upfront that I wouldn't mind to be friends with you and nothing more as I'm in love with somebody else. I wouldn't be even friends with this girl if not for having no other friends currently in India or in regular touch. We chat or talk at times, once in a while and met up twice to watch a football game & a cricket match. She asked me to meet up this week to hang out & prolly watch a movie. I wasn't interested & spent my day offs home, made up some excuse for not meeting up. She then sent me a picture later tonight & says.. "I'll put this in your office bag if you won't meet next week". I open the picture to find out it's a f**kin' black magic kinda carved doll. What is this bitch even high on? I can't take this shit in humor and I went off on her. How in the world a girl thinks it's funny with this nasty ass shit! She gets blocked right away.
I had to rant this out.

My husband wants to invite me on vacation to Bali. He will spend more than 8 thousand Is it weird that I am not excited to go because I have no money in my account and I have nothing classy to wear?

So I just went through the zoom interview for position B, and two members (three total) in this B committee also in committee of position A.
So...in your opinion, If everything goes well, I have to go onsite again?
Thanks.
I am interdisciplinary. My research can be in both A and B programs (departments).
I went for on site interview for faculty position A three months ago. I recently asked College Dean for status. She did not reply but instead B position search committee chair asked me if I am interested in B position. B position committee members knew that I was on sited for position A. B committee members got my application material from A.
I said Yes. Is it going to be the same procedure like zoom interview and possibly another on site? How to avoid the embarrassment since one member is in both A and B committee?

I hate my sister so fucking much to the point I'd even wish she dies. I HATE her I really, really DESPISE her so much I just wish my parents would actually make their words come true and send her away. Selfish fucking bastard who think she's so much more mature than me. Me who's OLDER than her yet she acts like a wannabe slut, Narcissistic asshole even has a bible and a rosary when she baits herself up for men just for attention. She always whines about how much she cleans when I'm not at home to do all the damn chores but when I get home all I ever see is hidden TRASH and sloppily washed dishes, MUD TRACKS on the floor and dirty ass GARBAGE JUICE. I can't stand her anymore. Cause of her I get headaches a lot since she was too lazy to bury away her DEAD bird that she brought home on impulse WHILE SHE WENT MISSING FOR THREE DAYS, Fucker lied about going on a camping trip with her scout group only for my mom to find out she's been miles away from home with her friends just cause my parents didn't buy her shit on her birthday. WE WERE TIGHT ON MONEY, Mom was basically losing SLEEP over the loans she'd have to pay back just to keep her shop running yet the ungrateful brat is throwing a damn tantrum over how we can't throw her a full on fiesta she can brag about to her friends. The AUDACITY for her to complain when me and ny brother had our birthdays FORGOTTEN multiple times by everyone! We never complained about it so why the fuck should we even cater to every single demand she has! Entitled brat tries to tattle on me every fucking time, Well jokes on for even trying. I know her tricks, She tries to make herself the victim then she'll start to shift the topic onto herself while crying like a baby. AS IF I'LL LET HER FUCKING GET AWAY WITH HER PITY TACTICS AND GUILT TRIPPING. I hate her so fucking much. Stealing my shit all the damn time and blaming ME whenever I take it back and break the stuff she bought with stolen money. I know I'm petty, that I'm an angry person and that I'll never be able to change that violent aspect of me. Atleast I'm fucking AWARE and actually has humility. She never even feels GUILTY for stealing a shit ton of my moms money to spend on HERSELF. Buying all sorts of frivolous things she knows my mom can't splurge on. Even acting like the spoiled brat she is and posing as a fucking rich kid. To make it even fucking worse is that she's only a minor. I wish that I can actually get a fucking spine to put myself out there and get a job so that I can finally get away from this cunt but I CAN'T and it frustrates me so fucking much that socializing SCARES me so much that I can't even handle a minute of small talk. I didn't even PLAN to be here, I'm only one year away from what I initially predicted but I'm still HERE and it's starting to get to me. I have no plans for my future, I barely even know myself, I have no talent at all, and I can't even keep my friends by my side cause of my tendency to go by on my own for weeks on end. I hate being alive. Why does it even fucking matter when I can't make meaningful relationships, when I'm not rich enough to not stress about how I'll live the next dat and to add more to that I'm not even attractive at all to atleast experience the pretty privilege so many of the people I've met had. I have NOTHING to myself. I have nothing for people to admire and it hurts so much to know that I'll never be able to amount to anything more than that "nice" quiet kid in the classroom. I'll never be the funny one, the smart one nor the pretty one. I don't even know what she sees in me, WHY she would even want to look for that one creep of a kid she made friends with at her old home, Just why she still wants to talk to me, to spend time with me or bring me along hangouts at all. I have nothing to give her. Nothing but my bitter, ugly self to atleast listen to her thoughts whenever she feels lonely.

If anyone has received a call from Summit Recovery Service, or "SRS" as they call themselves in their voicemail. It's a scam. They call pretending to be a debt collector, and will provide you with the last 4 of your social, name, and home address. And won't provide any information unless you confirm your name with them. When calling them back and asking for any information about their company, they are reluctant to give any information out, and will either be rude, or hangup and block your number. So because I can't let anything go, I proceeded to call them today from roughly 40 different phone numbers (SpoofCard is the shit) and kept calling until they eventually turned their phones off. This is a multi-person organization. So I did some digging after one of the "Reps" told me that their main office is in Plainfield, NH. Well, that address is a small house out in the middle of the woods. No their "corporate office". Anyways, I talked to the NH Secretary of State who informed me that the filing for "Summit Recovery Services, INC" was dissolved by the state. They didn't give me an exact date, but did say that SRS should not be conducting business in the State of NH when they have a dissolved Status. Furthermore, I did a simple ICANN lookup on their website, which is super basic, and looks scammy, anyways, it was just registered in November of last year, but yet, their website says 2019-2024.
I have filed formal complaints with IC3 and FTC. Here's links for the NH SoT and their website if anyone's interested.
https://quickstart.sos.nh.gov/online/BusinessInquire/BusinessInformation?businessID=iyMWYVOMIGA%3D
https://summitrecoveryservice.com/

Cruelty is how my brain perceives affection (thanks, childhood!) I'm just kidding...please don't be too freaky (but honestly, slightly jabby humor is my comfort zone).
I'm just looking for a chat buddy. Ideally someone exceptionally funny...that's basically my only ask. Be able to do the talk good. Don't be creepy, but a little weird is good.
I'm...normal. Normal adjacent, at least. Kinda funny sometimes, stream of consciousness sorta talker. Interesting on occasion. I like to read, I'm trying to learn how to skateboard (it is going poorly, thanks for asking), and I enjoy lying to people about knowing how to do magic tricks.

Hey there! You know how, when you’re looking for your car keys at the bottom of a bag, they’re always the last thing you find? I like to try a bit of reverse psychology when that happens and pretend I’m not looking for my keys, because we all know that psychology works on inanimate objects, right?!
Anyway, I figured I might try the same approach now. Why not! I’m looking for someone creative, clever, funny, honest, and communicative to have some good banter with, and to feel those sparks from meeting someone new and fantastic. I want to feel the rush of seeing a text come in and smiling when I see who it is.
I’m absolutely “not” looking for that banter and those sparks to form the basis of something solid and real. I’m absolutely “not” looking for a partner to support and be supported by, to wake up next to, and to go to the farmers market with on weekends. I’m absolutely “not” looking for someone who likes travel, music, good food, and the excitement of new experiences.
If you’re around my age and (preferably) on the East Coast, and you’re absolutely “not” looking for the same, then I look forward to chatting with you soon!

I'm trying to enjoy the weekends again but I cannot.
When I was together with my ex she got really good at lying about where and what she was doing. To preface I have nothing against one's actions but when they lie and say they don't do something, then do it in the relationship while pretending they arent... that hurts.
At the start of our relationship my ex told me she doesn't drink, like going out to clubs or the bars. So I believed her. One night I got a funny feeling and I couldn't shake it, I searched social media for answers and the next day I found out on her friends profile that my ex was out getting drunk and clubbing even though she said she was someplace else.
So many lies. I wanted to end us. She begged for us to be back together and said it was just to please her sister.
I took her back.
Again it happened. Repeat same thing. It started happening so many times that instead of ending things with her I just wanted to skip Friday and Saturday because I didn't want to find out if she was out partying or if it was just my own anxiety.
Even though we broke up I hate Friday and Saturday. I think of her being out while I was innocently believing her lies. Alone at home.
How. How do I enjoy these days without thinking of the hurt.

Little context why I am writing this. I work 30 hours at a takeout only restaurant and rest of the time I do doordash after college. I am located in NYC.
I have been working at this restaurant since 2023 June. At that time there was no delivery drivers wage mandate in NYC. Our sales are mostly ubereats. If we get 50 orders in uber we get 10 and 10 at dd and gh. GH is good as always. Doordash doesnt provide enough info but on the ubereats restaurant app u can see what car, name and location of the delivery rider. At that time, earlier December 2023. Delivery drivers were mostly Hispanic people. And everything was logical. Delivery drivers names were also hispanic.
However, lets come to the point. Last 3 months me and my manager figured out something is wrong with the delivery drivers account that show up in the app. Please dont judge me or I am not judging anybody.
As I said it was mostly hispanic riders and everything was logical. Now 80% of the riders are French speaking. Mostly from Afrian regions. How do I know? Well most of them enter the store and looks at me and instantly recognize I am muslim. So they start to say greetings any arabic. They speak 0 English and speak french and arabic. Um not tryna complain about language.
Here is the twist. I ask them brother whats your name. Most of them says my name is Abdul, Mohammed, Mohamadu, Abdullah. But when I look at our restaurants app I see its actually him but the names are like JASON, ANTHONY, ANDREW. It doesnt make sense. I told my manager look whats happening. Oneday me and my manager engaged in a conversation with a guy. He speaks English. I asked him his name he says brother I am Mohammed. Then I told him but it says jason. He says yes I am Mohammed Jason. If you know you know it just simply doesnt make sense.
Yesterday night my manager engaged in a conversation with another guy. He said he pays $200 a month for the ubereats driver id. I couldnt find anyone how they doing this. I need to make a friend with one of them to figure out whats going on.
I am not judging anyone based on their language, country, colour or their immigration status.

Hi all! Been wanting a reptile for literal ages, and now I might finally able to get one, as me and my SO recently bought an apartment.
So I have obviously done a lot of reading and research and all, but I’m kinda curious about just plain simple experience you guys have. Such as day to day things, and definitely the negatives as I fear I might have an unrealistic idea of what it will be like.
Things like what you do when you go on vacation, vet visits, all those types of things. And of course the general behaviour, I know they all got personality, so I’d love to hear some.
A big part of why I landed on Leos is for their general behaviour and such. I originally wanted a Bearded Dragon after seeing one when I was like five, but absolutely fell in love with the Leopards some years ago after discovering them. Especially some of the morphs, like the melanistic ones, super giants, and so on. However I have gotten a bit scared after reading about some of the issues certain types have, such as the stargazing and whatnot.
So as you all can probably tell, I might now suffer from kind of over researching, and I just want to hear peoples experiences.
Thank you!

Background & Context:

Throwaway account. This isn’t an immediate issue, or even an issue anymore. This relationship issue happened when I was 18. Now I’ve been in a loving relationship with my current girlfriend (we’ll call Mia) for 3 years (I love her to bits, I can’t understate that). This topic came up when I was talking to a group of people about our relationship history. I talked about my first relationship as nowadays I find it to be a funny story. Everyone laughs when I tell it, but they usually come to the conclusion that she was a raging A-hole and gaslit me, even though to this day, I think we’re both at MASSIVE faults for our behaviour. My closest friends have even nicknamed her ‘the devil’. It feels weird to me that despite feeling like I was also an A-hole, but everyone around me thinks otherwise. I was telling my girlfriend about this and she’s like, ‘you know what, you should post this on reddit, it’d be really funny to see the responses!’ Few days later here we are. Now that I’ve gotten context out of the way, Imma just start telling the story.

PART 1 - This is Where I Feel I Was Asshole:

Before The Break-Up:

After some time in the relationship, (I think 2-3 months in, not entirely sure), I felt absolutely awful. Not because she (we’ll call her Emily) was a bad person, not at all. 3 months-ish into the relationship, there were entire days were I would ball my eyes out, or feel completely sick, not able to really do anything apart from contemplate the state of the relationship, mostly because I felt like I was putting in a lot of effort, and she wasn’t putting in effort at all. I think around 3 months in, I ‘talked’ about how I thought ‘the relationship felt like a friendship’. I wasn’t completely open with how much it was affecting me at all (which was an issue on my end), however she kindly set her boundaries, saying how she thought the relationship was fine. She wasn’t mean or anything (maybe AT WORST), slightly dismissive. It was a very civil conversation. I did leave that conversation feeling better, but I also left that conversation thinking I was asking for way too much out of the relationship, and that relationships aren’t really how I thought they’d be. Regardless we move on.
Later on into our relationship, we go on one of our dates, and I remember it being one of the most draining outings I’ve ever had. On my end, and her end as well. I was drained because she was having a bad day before our date, and was frankly being rude to me when it wasn’t really justified. On her end, there were times when I being an idiot and frankly embarrassing, which looking back on it, WAS DEFINITELY TRUE. I remember we were making a joke on the train, and I got to into it and loudly said ‘GANG SH*T’, and then immediately regretted it because 2 or 3 old ladies looked at me, and Emily looked absolutely awe-struck with embarrassment. (Spoiler: A lack of self-awareness in certain moments plays a crucial role later in this post. I read my friend this story, and she said to me, please state that you are also autistic as I feel it also plays a crucial role in this story. I don’t know if that helps but that’s what she says I should say, so yeah). During the end of this date, when we’re both clearly kinda beat up, she brings up the point ‘Does this relationship still feel like a friendship to you?’. We had a civil conversation about it, got some pizza at a pizza place, and left the date on a rather sour note.

Break-Up:

Okay, let’s fast forward to the time when I ask her ‘Can we talk at ‘x’ location?’ This was after the semester in the summer. I wasn’t completely dead-set on ending the relationship, but I was pretty sure within this conversation, it was probably going to happen. She agreed, but later on the day, she texted me that she’d rather talk on the phone (later on within that conversation she jokingly said, ‘I’m not gonna lie, I’m not going to get all dressed up to get broken up with man’, which got a good laugh out of both of us’). We talked on the phone about the relationship and our issues with it, and at the time I thought ‘Yo, this is like the best break-up ever!’. There was very clearly no sort of strong dislike or hate between us despite our moments. We even started jokingly roasting each other during the conversation, laughing our assess of. Hell, she even said that she’ll invite me to her 19th birthday party at the end of the conversation. We even said to each other ‘let’s not tell our school friends that we’ve broken up, and then act like the most platonic homies ever in front of them!’ We both left that call feeling good about ourselves. I told my friends (who didn’t go into the school about the interaction), and they were happy. One of them even said ‘you delayed what could’ve possibly been one of the most calmest break-ups ever’. I texted her about what her friends said, and she said that she was going to tell them in the evening. I didn’t hear back from her about her friends, but didn’t really think anything of it. We very much occasionally texted sometimes in the summer. Sometimes about working out, sometimes about music…don’t really remember much of it, but it was calm (or at least I thought it was calm).
(As I type out this paragraph right now, I indefinitely cringe. The lack of self-awareness from me in this story is…a lot to say the least).

After The Break-Up (Back To School):

I go back to school to see Emily and my friend studying on a table. I see Emily and get slightly nervous, I haven’t seen her face to face for months on end, but I go up to her and my friend, and dap them both up. We have our conversations, go to class, and go home. It did feel VERY awkward being around her, and I did sense that something was wrong, but I chalked it up to, ‘Oh, you’ve just met your ex after months on end, it’s going to be slightly awkward’.
I saw my other friend (we’ll call Daisy), the next day, and she had broken up with her girlfriend. I asked her how the break up went, and she said the break-up went decently. She then asked me about my relationship break up. My brain goes ‘hold on, my ex told you about it?’. Additionally, she asked me that in the most sad way possible. I immediately knew that something was off. I ask her, ‘Yo what did she tell you?’. I’m going to give a very approximate re-enactment about how the convo went.
Daisy: She’s really hurt, from what I said
Me: What did I say?
Daisy: She said that she felt really hurt, the fact that you called her disgusting-
MY EYES WIDEN. I was like WHAT?!? ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’, THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT. OH MY GOD, I FEEL AWFUL…NOOOOOOOOOOO’
Daisy looked at me like she expecting my reaction, like completely unphased. She said to me that she told Emily:
Daisy: ‘You should probably talk to him, because that’s definitely not what he meant.’
Emily: ‘No, I’m tired of explaining myself to people’
I remember the feeling to this day, I felt absolutely awful in the moment. I’ve genuinely never felt worse about hurting a person in my life. I asked Daisy whether I should talk to Emily about the situation and apologise to her, but Daisy said that Emily really doesn’t wanna talk to me again, and that the damage has already been done. Maybe you can apologise in the future, but to give her some time. After school, I go home from this incident, still feeling like shit, and call my friend to tell her about my mistake. We’ll call this friend Steph. Steph listens to me, and doesn’t look amused. She says to me….
Steph: I don’t believe you called her disgusting
Me: What do you mean?
Steph: What did you say to her?
Me: I said to her that during the relationship there were times that I felt sick and couldn’t do anything in the day, as well as struggling with attraction (VERY BRIEFLY, LIKE A FEW SECONDS). Also during the break up, fast forwarding when we were both in a jokey mood, my ex said to me:
‘Why did you DM me a few days before this break-up calling me babe?’ ‘Like you knew this moment was coming hahaha’
Me: ‘Girl, when I did that I was absolutely DISGUSTED’
She laughs and we continue talking to each other making jokes and releasing some tension.
Steph says to me: So, you didn’t flat out say to her face, that she was disgusting…in a serious or jokey tone?
Me: I mean, what I said, can CLEARLY be interpreted as such man. Even though I didn’t flat out say it, I shouldn’t have said any of that, whether it was in a jokey or serious tone. And looking back on that, it’s stupid that I didn’t take that break-up as seriously as it should’ve have. Like…come on, I’m an idiot for roasting and joking around in a moment that should be taken seriously.
Steph: But she was joking around too right?
Me: yeah…
Steph: And she was roasting you too…right?
Me: yeah…
Steph: So why is she mad? That doesn’t make any sense.
Me: I mean, I don’t remember, but knowing me, I probably initiated the jokes.
Steph: Bro, don’t assume. And even if you did initiate the jokes, she would’ve had to play along as well. And the fact that she just assumed that what you said, meant that you found her disgusting, and didn’t find her physically attractive, without talking to you about that…DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.
Me: I don’t know…I still feel like I shouldn’t have done any of that
Steph: Bro, don’t PURELY blame yourself. Hell EVEN HER FRIEND TOLD HER, THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU MEANT! AND SHE DECIDED TO RUN OFF WITH HER ASSUMPTION ANYWAY!
As you can see, my friend was pissed on my behalf. She didn’t really convince me, I still felt awful for a LONG TIME. Okay let’s keep going with this story, it’s a long one

Birthday & ‘The Talk’

My ex and I, have the same birthday. Shocking I know. We were both in school, I didn’t see my ex for the entire day, but even if I did, her friend told me that she really didn’t wanna talk to me, so it’s not like I would talk to her in the first place.
When I went to get lunch, I saw Daisy and Emily were sitting at the table having lunch. I saw my ex, and I made sure not to make eye-contact and walked past them. I thought in my head, she probably wants to enjoy her birthday, and probably doesn’t want to see her ex who called her disgusting on her birthday. A day later, I talk to Daisy, and the topic of Emily comes up. Daisy said to me that Emily was looking for me on our birthday, to also wish me happy birthday, and got upset that when she finally saw me, I walked past her and ignored her. AGAIN, I FEEL AWFUL, but in the back of my head, I’m just like ‘wait, I swear she said she doesn’t wanna talk to me’. I inquire Daisy on this. (Unfortunately, since it’s been years now, I don’t remember what Daisy said). So bing-bang-boom, later on in the day, Daisy, my ex, Emily and my old friend group meet up. Emily smiles at me, but also looks emotionally beat-up. Bro, when I saw I almost teared up, and was like ‘not today, not today, not today’. After some small talk within the group, I ask Emily to talk privately with her. She was amicable and agreed to go to talk privately.
The first thing I did was apologise, and says that’s not what I meant at all, and clarified my feelings. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I said the comment about me being disgusted about my Instagram DM was meant playfully, to criticise my own behaviour. Additionally, when I said I was struggling with attraction and felt sick during the relationship, it wasn’t because of how you look. It was because of the nature of the relationship, and how I felt like I was putting inn way too much effort (within that conversation, I was trying to omit the fact that I felt like she put in no effort at all. I felt weird putting blame on her for that in the time) I even admitted within the break-up conversation, that I still felt attraction to her, but I know the relationship wasn’t working, as so did she. She said:
‘Well, I’m not going to ask for clarification, like oh maybe he didn’t mean this, when someone says something as blatant as that’
We talk some more. Emily said that she didn’t want to be friends because she was VERY hurt about what I said, but if we ever see each other, that we can be civil. She gives a lot of points about the break-up. I remember in my head disagreeing with the points, but unfortunately while I’m writing this post, I don’t remember those points. The conversation that we had was very civil and respectful. I remember that I disagreed with the points that she put forward, but I didn’t give any push-back. I was there to take responsibility for my stupidity and negligence, and apologise. Daisy told Emily what I said about just being there to apologise, and emily got annoyed saying ‘Why is he trying to act like my therapist?’ to her. Daisy told me she said this…I was confused but decided to leave it there, and not talk to Emily again, and reflect on how I communicate with people,, because I didn’t want to hurt anyone like that again.

Conclusion

Okay, everything I’ve said here, to this day, I still believe that I’m a MASSIVE ass-hole. The way I talked to her whether jokingly or not within that conversation was unacceptable. I should’ve kept it serious, no roasting, and not to give jokes at the expense of the other WHATSOEVER within a context as a big as that. Due to that, I hurt someone that I really cared about. Agree with me or not, that’s how I feel to this day. The experience has helped me for the better as it did help me change my behaviour in terms of how I communicate, and be more conscious of what I say. It’s carried on YEARS later, and whilst I slip up and may occasionally hurt someone’s feelings or say something out of pocket, it can easily be solved with a ‘hey, please don’t say that’, and nowhere near as bad as someone who is supposed attracted to you, feeling DISGUSTING. From here, this is where she does some things that dictate her as a massive asshole.

PART 2- This is Where I Feel SHE Was An Asshole:

Making Up

3-4 weeks go by , she seems a lot more chirpy and happy when I occasionally see her in school. One day she taps me on the shoulder, and says ‘Hey, I’ve thought about our conversation, and I think I’m over everything[…]I’d appreciate it if we can be cool again, if you would like, and we can hang out in the same circles. I light up and I say ‘yeah, that’d be nice’. Being in the same friend-circle with her was nice. We didn’t talk face-to-face often, but everything was friendly and cool.

Water-Incident:

3 days later. Somebody in our group spills water onto the ground in the cafeteria. I try to clean it. Emily and my other friend (we’ll call Marco) go to get some cleaning roll. She comes back giving me a death-stare. I was startled, but for some reason thought nothing of it. I thought it might’ve been how I was cleaning the water, as she’s very big on cleaning. She says ‘WHY CAN’T YOU GUYS CLEAN?’ Marco makes a joke along the lines saying ‘Men don’t know how to clean’ or something like that. She laughs, and I start thinking that ‘oh this is a bit’. As we’re cleaning the water off the ground, and then let the water soak into the tissue, she goes away from the water, and starts ranting to her friend. My friend and I start laughing, as we think it’s a bit. She storms out and says ‘it’s not funny’. Instantly I froze. I went over to her friend (we’ll call him Kyle. BTW Fck Kyle. He was a terrible person that sexually harasses women, despites them saying that they’re uncomfortable. I didn’t know about that during the time of this story, but I knew that later on during that year. Kyle, I if you’re reading this, I hope you’ve changed your ways, if not, fck you, sincerely). I went over to Kyle’s table and asked, ‘Yo is Emily okay?’
Kyle: It’s not my place to say what happened
Me: slightly panick Bro, I just wanna know if she’s okay
Kyle: okay…YOU AND EMILY GOT SOME ISSUES! AND YOU GOT SOME STUFF TO FIGURE OUT!
She shouted at me in front of the cafeteria, with multiple tables looking at me, some people laughing, and some people looking sorry for me.
Kyle walks away, and I just stand there for 5-10 seconds, give a large exhale, put my palms in to my hand, and walk back to the group. When Emily comes back, I ask her if she’s okay. She said something alone the lines of ‘Don’t make fun of someone, and then ask them if they’re okay straight afterwards…’. (She wasn’t mad at Marco for some reason, but was mad at me, but as Daisy said ‘I knew how her anxiety worked’.) I walk away from the group, and go outside and just look up at the sky. I thought that I had fucked up again, and not able to realise when I’ve crossed a line. I distanced myself from the group, and just stayed alone from a bit and studied for the upcoming exams. I was studying for around 14 hours a day, and when I wasn’t studying, I was thinking that I was a terrible person. It was probably that, and the combination of exam-stress that lead to me getting my first panic-attack when hanging out with my friends. When Emily came up to my group of friends with someone else, I left the group, and just wanted to be in my own space.

Getting jealous of multiple girls I was talking to and proceeds to stare them down:

I was talking to other girls in a group. Not in a romantic way. I was NOT in the space for another relationship, especially when I don’t know when I’ve crossed a line. I didn’t want to hurt anyone the same way I hurt Emily. There was a girl (we’ll call her Lacey) and another girl (we’ll call her Selena) that I got on pretty well with. We’ve been talking for a few months at this point. I was talking to them during my lunch-time, and I told her the story about my ex and I. She said to me ‘Is your ex the girl that’s been death-staring me?’
Me: Wait what?
Lacey: Yeah, whenever I talk to you should just death-stares me for ages. It’s made me so uncomfortable, I’ve wanted to get up from my seat and say ‘excuse me, do we have a problem?’
This battle between them apparently lasted for the ENTIRE YEAR until they never saw each other again.
Selena has talked to her and said to me ‘Yeah…I’m not going to lie, I don’t like her, you can do better’
I was like ‘guys, relax’
Them: My bad, my bad.
Selena: But, there’s better out there.
I was also notified by another woman that my ex death-stared them and made them uncomfortable because of it. That was really weird to me, but hey I wasn’t talking to her anymore, and I just minded my business. I haven’t talked to her since that ‘water incident’.

Make-Up No.2

Emily hits me up on Instagram, wanting to call. We have a chat about the current state of affairs, and both admitted that we had feelings for each other to summarise. She admitted that she was jealous seeing me hang out with other girls, and that she got mad at me again within the 3 days that we made up, and said ‘my bad about that’. We further clarified some stuff about the relationship, and we made up. I think a few days later - FOR SOME UNGODLY REASON, I DO NOT REMEMBER WHY, MY FRIENDS TO THIS DAY MAKE FUN OF ME FOR THIS - I asked her out. Maybe, it was the feeling of wanted to being rejected to fully get over her, I don’t know man. I was in a bad space. My friend as I’m reading her this draft, has now gotten on her knees, and started praying for my sanity. Emily rejected me, and to be honest the day after, I thanked god that we didn’t get back together.

‘Exploding at me’

We were hanging out in a group. I was being relatively quiet, and had learnt to shut up and think before I speak quite consistently until this point. I looked at Emily and she looked upset. I looked at her and was about to ask whether she was okay. From my glance alone, she exclaims at me: ‘If you ask me if I’m okay, I will shout/snap at you, just saying’. I put my hands up completely startled. I was thinking maybe she hates me asking if she’s okay. It had become a meme in the friend-group that I over ask people whether they’re okay if I think they look sad, so maybe I was annoying her.
Now, she later apologised a few days later saying Kyle had sexually harassed her, and she was really tense within that moment, and just exploded. NOW, people who were there said I was unfairly treated, however, something that’s as serious and harmful as that happening to someone, I understand blowing up at someone. So we moved on. As I said before, f*ck Kyle.

I WASN’T fully sure why she didn’t like me in this moment:

I saw Emily sad during the day, seeming sort of upset. I message her on Instagram during that evening ‘Hey, I know it’s a bit of a meme of me asking people if they’re okay, but you looked upset today and I wanted to know if everything was good?’. She laughs and says ‘everything is good’
I literally walked up to the group the next day, try to fist-bump everyone, and when I put my fist towards her, she ignored me. I thought she didn’t see me, so I stupidly fist-bumped everyone again and went towards her. This moment is comedic gold. She winces at me, and disapprovingly waves. My friend Marco says ‘Ooooooooo’, I’m like ‘woah’ and completely freeze, with my fist still in the air. Daisy tries to break the awkward silence and says ‘it’s just one of those days’. I’m completely frozen with my fist, still in the air during all of this happening, in complete awe, thinking to myself ‘what did I do this time?’. Daisy, to release me from this state, proceeds to rapidly first bump me 10 times. Once I register what’s fully happened, I leave the group and sit with my friends. I heard her from the other end of the cafeteria complaining about me to her friends. After that scenario, I didn’t talk to her one-to-one for the rest of the year, and tried to avoid talking to her. I accepted after that moment that no matter how I act, I’m going to be met with a negative reaction.
Later on after school had ended, I found out that she was upset because she thought I was dating my CURRENT girlfriend. Now to be brief, I met this girl in the beginning of the year. I remember we started talking very frequently as she was cool, but I wasn’t ready for a relationship whatsoever. She said really liked me, and in her words jokingly says that ‘she just waited patiently’. We went out for a couple of times, but these weren’t clarified to be dates (EVENTHOUGH nowadays we basically call them dates), and she admitted she liked me. I said that she was lovely, but that I wasn’t mature enough for a relationship, and that ‘you probably don’t want to date me’. I did start slowly developing feelings for her. All of this date stuff happened after being rejected from my ex. Now we weren’t dating at the time, and were strictly on friend terms. I guess it might’ve been obvious that we both liked each other, considering that Emily got upset and didn’t talk to me. Near the end of the year, we started dating, and as I’ve said before, we’re still dating to this day. Marco called it out that we liked each once we started dating, and we were like ‘welp, I guess the secret’s out lol’. Yeah that’s about it there.

A year later, Emily texts me when I’m studying my university degree, telling me I’m a dickhead, even though I blocked her:

I’m on facetime with my girlfriend. I believe we’re a year and a bit into our relationship, and then my ex texts me. Keep in mind, I’ve blocked my girlfriend on all platforms, and deleted her number. I should’ve blocked her number, because she decides text me, saying something along the lines of:
‘Hey it’s Emily here. Just wanna say you’re a dickhead for leading me on for 3 months, and telling me that you liked me when you didn’t. Thanks for adding to my trauma and my trust issues with people. Hope you and your current girlfriend are doing okay!’
Me: w-what? I’m so confused.
Seconds after, I then decide not to give a second thought, and then I blocked her.
Conclusion:
This was a long-story, but here’s my proper conclusion. I think I was an asshole for how I broke up with her as said in Part 1. I also think I was flat-out stupid for agreeing to be friends with her, despite her clearly resenting me. I think she’s the asshole for treating me horribly after the break-up, making some of my female friends feel uncomfortable by staring at them, getting mad at me multiple times without telling me she was properly mad, and then sending me an awful text, even when I’ve blocked her on all platforms.
Okay long story done. Discuss y'all.

I don't have anyone else to talk to about this and I'm slowly becoming mentally deteriorated. I'm not looking for sympathy and I'm sure you guys are busy figuring shit out on your own end so if you do come here and read this, thank you for your time.
Coming from a brown family as the eldest daughter, I voluntarily stayed home for 4yrs after high school to help run my parents small store. For 4 years, working with them 10 hours a day, EVERY SINGLE DAY FROM MONDAY TO MONDAY. No breaks, no vacations, with no pay or whatever. Yeah they have a roof over my head and feed me. Why 4 years? Because I was first intending to stay one year gap to take some courses to boost my average and THATS IT. 4 fucking years flew by wasted. I am so burnt out and tired already. I feel resentful enough knowing I could’ve graduated today but it’s fine knowing that I am starting this year no matter what. But then i have to commute for 1+ hour to and back, continue to be available for them at their store, and having a toxic, narcissistic, cheap dad doesn’t help either. So I can’t even move out willingly without their permission and being financially disadvantaged. Uni is right in the corner and I am already stressed, breaking down and lost. I want to participate in extra curriculars and clubs to help me get into coop, the sole reason I took Laurier’s BBA. But they think its a waste of time and i should just study. This was like this in high school and I dont want to go through the trauma and stress again when i go to uni because this is so important to me and I just want to break out of this shell and become successful and do things. I thought parents are there to be happy for you and supportive; at least my mom is when she saved me from becoming suicidal and made me believe in myself. I was on depression pills because i thought it was me who had to fix myself. Ofcourse my dad knows nothing about this. He doesn’t know anything. His stress, emotions and things he has to do are the only thing important to him because he is the father of the house and have to look after everything. No one elses emotions and stress are important. If i say anything that goes against his wishes, theres gonna be a fight. So im mostly quiet, i dont talk, i dont joke, i dont show anything to cause a reaction.
I love my family, I will die for them wholeheartedly but i feel like the people i love are torturing me so much. Why is he like this with me when i sacrificed years to stay next to them and help. Instead they became a burden to me. These are very important years of my life and i dont want them to ruin my life again as they did before. (Thats another story) I am trying to hang on by the most thinnest thread thats left in me and im scared what will happen if that snaps. I don’t think i can stay strong anymore. Everyday i question my sanity and wonder what to do. Once i leave for school, they are already stressed how they are going to run their store, and my siblings are very little, didn’t even hit puberty yet so they can’t help. How will i concentrate school, commuting, work, family and everything. I feel like Im getting strangled all the time, it’s getting harder to breathe everyday.

When I watch diamond+ lobbies, by round 4 everyone has solidified which comp they’re aiming for. They have a carry and a tank that’s makes a clear statement what they’re building, and people for the most part respect it (they know they have to as well). In low elo lobbies, people don’t scout or don’t care if they contest you mid game. Yes, you’ll outpreform then 75% of the time, but sometimes losing out on the unit pool can really screw you over from other uncontested players. The contesting player might go 8th, but they bring you down to 6th. They beat you on carousel and they force you to spend a ton of econ 2-starring your 4 costs. My friend in high masters says he doesn’t think TFT really starts until mid diamond. The lobbies below aren’t a good example of how the game is played. It’s funny.

I (Female 21) have been friends with Evan (Male 20) for about 6 or 7 years. We never hung out a lot in person but we talk and check in on each other. We play games together on rare occasions and go the arcade when we can. About 10 months ago he got with Isabella (19 or 20 idk her age exactly). He was very excited bragging to me and our friends. We got to meet her and it was great. I thought we all made a new friend. We noticed he started talking to us less and less. I was like what's up man and basically Isabella doesn't like me because she thinks I want Evan. Never once have I even thought about him like that also I have a boyfriend of 7 years which she met. I've never ever flirted with Evan or have done anything to show attraction to him. I tried to ease her mind by trying to be her friend and play games but she didn't want that. I added her to my private Instagram where I spam photos and vent alot like a diary so she sees ive never talked about Evan romantically or hung out with him alone since they started dating. She wouldn't text me back or acknowledge me. Then Evan basically stopped talking to everyone for months. I tried talking to Evan not once not twice but 5 times. 4 by myself and 1 time with his other friends who are also upset. He thinks it's funny but did say he'll work on hanging with us more. 2 more months went by and still nothing. Isabella ended up blocking me on everything and we found out they've been rocky. At this point I was exhausted and told him we aren't cool anymore and I don't even know who he is. I then told him I don't consider him my friend after this. It's been weeks and I'm still left on read. His friend Mark(19) told me he was in a call with him when I sent the text and Evan said "I'm not that worried about it rn". I tried talking to the group saying we should all talk to him so he knows we are serious but they don't want to, saying it'll be like ganging up on him and attacking him. I don't see it that way. I just want my friend back. After bickering back and forth I left the gc that Evan wasn't in. I text Evan telling him he's a shitty friend and then I blocked him. The group doesn't know I did that yet but they advised against me starting shit. P.s. Evan hasn't always been perfect. He's definitely been a jerk in the past but nothing like this. Usually whatever it was I could handle it or brush it off. Also, I'm very positive Evan doesn't have feelings for me. He isn't the type to do that while in a relationship. Am I the asshole also, any advice?