Witty sarcastic one liners

[M4F/A] Long-Term Literate Vampire: The Masquerade Roleplay / Potential Shadowrun & Cyberpunk Fantasy RP Original Characters 18+ (No Minors)
Greetings, friends! I am Outcast but I also go by Necromes just don't call me late for the graveyard party, huh? Okay I'm sorry.
Anywho, a little tiny bit about me is I am currently 21(M) but turn 22 on the 24th of this month. I have over ten years of writing experience that I am still at times trying to perfect or even change up for every roleplay to find one that suits me. I can write from advanced lit to novella easily. I don't do one liners and I will not roleplay with minors of any age; only 18+. Smut is off the table, I only do romance and slow burn romance at that. I am not here for your visceral satisfaction.
I am here today to offer up a Vampire: The Masquerade TTRPG play-by-post/text-based roleplay within the universe. Now, I must admit that I was a bit hesitant to write this post because I have a few ocs but non of them are properly finished by sheets. The good thing is I'm one of those roleplayers who like to gush over and discuss plots and roleplay a lot before even starting because the care of ocs and plot is just as important to me.
I have been on and off on the VtM fandom since 2019, a friend of mine introduced me to it and I've been hooked to it from a distance for years and after some personal stuff happened I've decided to delve into it solo and its been fun, doing my own thing but doing it solo means I'm alone in it pretty much. I want to have some fun and use them. Let's do that.
We can do quite a lot, a few of my ocs have a specific vibe to them and a setting that I'd prefer to talk about later on since I cannot choose what kinds of plots I want premeditated. I'm honestly in the process of being stuck on adding to my OC lists and want to make more for almost every clan so having somebodu to help create new OCs with is perfectly valid.
I will list a few ocs.

• Samuel Wyrick-Giovanni ; Polish Giovanni capo based in New Orleans.
• Arnie Volkov ; Russian Malkavian who is an extreme conman.
• Drake Mannon ; Highly functioning sociopathic Tremere who was a former cultist. (My personal favorite, but he seems dry to me so I'd like to try him out.)
• Elijah Ardelean ; Ravnos, L.A Anarch who is the Anarch's thieving spy. A pretty boy. Also a cat dad.

I also have a few ocs that are kept as backburners and maybe a few other ocs ideas I intend on making and, hey, who knows maybe these interactions can give me new ideas.
I would prefer to use Drake as he is my newest and most hyperfixated on. I wrote him into a box where he doesn't seem to have much personality when it comes to interactions because I haven't used him yet and he was written for a server that largely has no plot so he has no predetermined goals as of yet and I would like to utilize him and test him out.

Note: I am looking for a long-term relaxed and chill roleplay experience. I have immense ADHD and Autism and get burnt out very quickly and I'd rather take my time to create the best RP response I can muster up than be forced or egged on post after post with no energy. As long as you are okay with varying response window times and are okay with the quality in the end and also have time to chill and talk about OCs on the offtime or on the side then that is perfect.

(Smaller note, a side note if you will; I have recently been trying to get into Shadowrun and have been itching for a Shadowrun/Fantasy Sci-Fi Cyberpunk RP so if you want to undermine this for that go right ahead because I'm addicted to both rn. [I'm still a rookie.])

• If you're down with Shadowrun/Cyberpunk Fantasy, I've got an orc male, young rookie on a rep and revenge kick. Had two cybernetic arms and carries dual pistols, is kind of a hardheaded weapons expert who comes from a family of mercenaries. Specialist in certain things just not professionalism, etiquette, or business finesse and can be considered the brute. Hes a good guy, a lot of personal baggage and personal rage issues but isn't a psycho case nor a squeaky clean rookie.

If you're down for all of that (sorry for my lack of actual planning.), then shoot me a DM telling me what you think and maybe some of your own ocs pitched because I love hearing about VtM ocs.

https://imgur.com/a/PDNtyJu
ALL KNIVES HAVE BOX AND POUCH EXCEPT FOR TWO THE CHRIS REEVES CLONE AND THE F5.5 (Both knife will be sent in a pouch) FIRST COMES FIRST SERVE ON YOLO…….
*Demko 20.5: (BUNDLE) price 80 D2 blade steel Red polymer handles bearings stonewash Blade clip point SV 50 for 1 sv 80 for both
*Demko 20.5 SharksFoot stonewashed blade D2 steel stock bearings after market OG aluminum back spacer Black polymer handles sharpened once on KME.
*TS380: 14 c blade steel titanium handle scales , carbon fiber overlay micro milling on the handle scales Bearings two forms of deployment Flipper and Hole in blade Sv 40
*Kershaw Induction: black two toned blade 8cr blade steel satin flats Hawk lock mechanism bearings flipper tab deployment Sv 25
*Kershaw Knockout: aluminum handle scales 14c blade steel speed safe made in U.S.A sub frame lock deep carry loop over pocket clip stonewashed Sv 50
*Kershaw Bare knuckle: U.S.A made stonewashed 14c blade steel riding on bearings grey aluminum handle scales sub framed lock single form of deployment flipper tab Sv 50
*CJRB Ekko: Ray Laconico design Arrpm9 satin sheeps foot blade light scratches on both sides of blade towards tip titanium, bolster, black micarta overlay titanium pocket clip button lock front flipper finger hole deployments riding on bearings sv 30
*Kershaw Link: U.S.A made M390 stonewashed blade light scratch from factory on show side and light scratches on clip side of blade from stainless steel liners caused by deployment speed safe flipper only deployment black aluminum scales sv 50
*Kevin John Venom 2: S30 5 blade steel compound grind satin blade riding on bearings single form flipper deployment titanium handle scales G10 overlay on one side never carried or cut sv 100
*Chris Reeves small Sebenza clone: 14c blade steel satin finish riding on bronze washers polished stainless steel handle scales frame lock drop point blade sharpened twice scratches on blade both side and on handle scales sv 50
*BB Yeager: Mv2 blue cameo carbon fiber overlay satin m390 wharncliff blade titanium handle scales Timascus pivot collars black coated pivot hardware back spacer and pocket clip hole for single form of deployment sv310

• Ubran EDC supply F5.5: In satin sheepsfoot ElMax blade steel riding skiff bearings brown micarta handle scales titanium, nested, liners, and liner lock titanium back spacer mirror polished edge light scuffs on micarta and pocket clip none on blade no bag or box sv 100

*Giant Mouse Ace Grand: Green Micarta El Max blade steel riding on bearings factory edge aftermarket pocket clip as well as original wire clip titanium Backspacer and nested liners and liner lock single form keyhole deployment like new with box and bag sv100
*Giant Mouse Ace Biblio: Black acid stonewashed ElMax blade Black micarta handles nested liner lock blade Hq exclusive wire clip modified sheepsfoot blade two forms of deployment flipper tab and key hole in blade sv 60
*Serge knives slip7: Dark gray acid washed m390 sheepsfoot blade blue titanium lasered skulls on it slip joint knife great walk in talk light scratches on pocket clip carried in a slip with pocket clip exposed rest of knife in meant condition never used sv100
*Benchmade mini loco: second owner for 6 years s30blade steel contour black g10 handles access lock bearings duel forms of deployment via hole in blade and access lock modified sheepsfoot blade sv 60
*Ferrum Forge Stinger: Nitro v spear point blade stonewashed G10 overlays liner lock G 10 back spacer riding on bearings two forms of deployment via flipper tab and fuller meant condition never cut or carried sv35
*Miguron knifes Pagos:M390 Bead blasted or stonewashed blade not quite sure micro milled titanium handle scales carbon fiber inlays both sides #103 never cut or carried sv 100

My 17-year-old son is 6'6" and has been around this height since he was 14. When I try to punish him for his irresponsibility, such as taking away his PC or money, he finds a way to get what he wants by stealing from me, his mother, or even his grandparents. He relies on the fact that we are less technologically advanced than he is; I am 67 and my wife is 58.
Physical punishments are not an option because he is a foot taller than me, and I am old and out of shape. His behavior is awful. He sometimes pretends to/immitates punch his mother when she says things he doesn't like, such as reminding him of his laziness or lack of effort. He pushes her onto soft objects like a couch or bed to avoid causing real injuries. He does whatever he wants and thinks he will always get away with it. Unfortunately, I fear he might be right.
I cannot take anything away from him, physically discipline him, or control him in any way. I can only hope that he is a good, thoughtful, and smart person deep down. We do talk sometimes, and I see that he is quite smart, witty, and kind.
He used to be very obedient, doing everything we wanted and aspiring to get into top universities. He attended one of the best schools in the country for free because he was intelligent and was very promising among his peers. However, after quarantine, he started acting disrespectful, toxic, and violent towards us, even though he continued to study hard. Now, he doesn't even study, and although he is no longer very violent, I still feel powerless over his behavior.
We might have spoiled him because we bought him everything he wanted and more, though he always says that he doesn't like spending too much of our money because he feels guilty afterward.
What do we do?

So, to specify, this is about eating disordered friends in particular. What it’s NOT gonna be is me attacking anyone for being sick- which unfortunately I see too much of when it comes to perspectives from the outside :( If you’re currently going through anything, sending so much love and support your way, but this may not be the post for you to read right now !
Anyway, I do not have a body image related ED myself (I have ARFID, which is sensory/fear related) but I do have my own intense body image issues that I struggle with. This is probably a really common experience even outside of a disordered context, but I’m so lost on what to do or how to feel when this person vents about feeling “big” (quoting not sarcastic use of quotation) and I am visibly bigger than they are. On one hand, of course i understand where this is coming from. Eating disorders are irrational and erode your self perception. I get it, I honestly promise that I do, but is it bad of me to feel kinda… im not really sure, I guess hurt by hearing it? I hate that they genuinely don’t seem to understand they are thinner than me. I obviously don’t say stuff like that to them because I have no interest in fueling or validating the ED by calling them skinny or whatever, but still. I don’t know how to get past these thoughts with them or if it’s even right to bring it up. As it is, I kind of just stew. But like. Cmon. REALISTICALLY there is NO good way to broach this subject to someone actively in their own addiction. So I feel like me sitting with the discomfort is the lesser of two evils versus the possibility of them sinking deeper into the behaviors, yknow?? Idk. I sorta relapsed recently and the whole situation of me worrying about them was definitely a part of why, less so than their actual comment was. It’s not like it’ll be detrimental to me to say nothing, it’s just bothering me. I feel like I’m not allowed to feel this way. I’m scared of making everything worse for them.
Well. That’s the rant for now. If anyone has thoughts or wants to reply pls go ahead. It’s greatly appreciated, but there’s no pressure to. I know that this probably seems self-centered. I swear my bigger concern is really how to support them, but that’s why I’m posting the selfish parts in a place they will never see.

guys I need your advice, but sorry if it's weird because english isn't my first language but i'm trying my best to explain. here's the story : we've become close too soon (after weeks knowing online we started crushing each other). we live in different country so we had a Long Distance Relationship and all the time we just texting, not even a call since he refused it because he said he's a shy man. I thought he lied, but then i know this person is truly shy-nerd kind of guy. anyways, it's his first time for having a feeling on someone (me) after years being secret admirer to previous girl that ended up married to another man. but he said he moved on so he's ready for the new person. at the beginning he was a bit more talkative, one day he asked me what should he do when he had a feeling on someone and I told him to tell the person, suddenly he told me that he had feeling on me. at first my feeling isn't that big for him, but I know that I'm also into him. but I tried my best to give my time for him, talk to him, care for him, etc. after couple weeks, he began to ghost me slowly. he replied after hours and sometimes even days. I thought he was busy with his job, so I don't think too much. he's also not talk openly to me, I'm just having hard time trying to understand him. we just having nice time to talk on weekend when he doesn't work. my limit of patience is come when on saturday noon, he said he wanted to hang out with his friend, he didn't tell me the details and I thought it will seem desperate for me to ask him the details. but since he left me that day with no text until almost late night, I text him randomly and sarcastically, "how's the date?". I didn't even think that he hang out with a woman, because he's a shy person, there's no way a shy guy has the courage to ask a girl out. and he replied "I can explain, we're just friends. I'll let u know when I come home". that time I know he's out there with another woman. I just replied "ok, enjoy the day". I'm shock, my heart scattered. how can he spend the whole day hang out with a girl when he said he's a total introverted and shy person who doesn't even like to talk much and being outside. even he came home after midnight. what's the worse possible things could happen between them enjoying the whole day and he left me all alone. or am I the selfish one here?. I think it's a lie to him that he said she's just a friend to him. I think he secretly like her or he just deny that feeling. a day after that he didn't text me, he said he's busy with a family event. since that I didn't reply to him at all. comparing of how he spent his time with his 'friend' and how he spent it with me, I think he's just not really into me. am I right? so I ghosted him slowly. he text me again after days just to send me a link about random article. but I ignored him bcs I was confused. he didn't text me anymore since that day and it's been a week. but Idk should I text him a good bye or just move on without a text? is it rude to leave without a 'good bye' when we started it with a 'hello'? I don't wanna seem desperate, but I also don't wanna be rude. also I think our romantic story seems too childish for this old age, either because we both just shy or he just not really into me. Thanks for your advices, God bless you all

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/F6ir03X
Arc: https://imgur.com/a/BHQQ1Fe
Brand new arc NPR 19.5 slide. Dry fitted once, never installed parts kit, optics or irons. I did buy and install the channel liner since it doesn’t come with one. Decided to keep my norsso slide and let this go. New from ARC price is $450 with the cerakote.
$350 shipped
Complete factory p320 x carry slide, barrel and Romeo 1 optic. Less than 300 rounds through it. Also will ship with an optic shroud that was never installed.
$450 shipped

This is my incomplete SVTFOE the movie script. Until my friend thomasmfd convince me to scrap it here’s my incomplete SVTFOE the movie script.
Star Vs. The Forces of Evil the forces of evil the movie The film with a song called Empire of the Sun Walking on a dream while the camera pans down on a mural with the credits rolling by and hits the floor showing a Blue man with a blue sword wearing a Space helmet and a orange Tee shirt with black spots all over his shirt. Who is protecting the Empress of the Sun Hestia look who has Red hair and Red eyes and wears a White Kimono with red spots. Just then a group of people wearing brown robes and white masks are led by a bald creepy dude with a Scar on his right eye. He approaches the throne and begins to speak.
The creepy dude My majesty My name is Bob and my group are a bunch of nomads who travel from World to world gathering intel and giving them to each kingdom and we heard rumors about Cataclysm prison weakening. And we would like to have your Sword Empress of the sun. So we can use it to defeat Cataclysm.
Bob walks up the steps before Cutie's sword hangs by his neck stopping him.
Bob What’s the meaning of this guard!?
Cutiesaurs: The name is Cutiesaurs or Cutie for short. Bob Okay Cutie. Why did you stop me!?
Cutiesaurs Because I don’t trust you. Besides, Shady people are always up to no good.
Bob It’s for your own protection so let me through. Besides it is rumored that The Sun Sword is the only sword left.
Cutiesaurs I don’t Care the Gods hid those swords for protection from thieves like you, including the Fable Mew sword. Besides, it appears you want to use the empress sword to find the other swords.
Bob Well you two figure out my plan already so I guess I have no option but to take it from force.
Just then Bob uses his magic spell to pull out his sword and he and his minions begin to attack. Cutie and Molly try to fight back but it is too much for them and get captured and Bob’s minions capture Hestia as Bob grabs the sword and glances at it.
Bob This Sword is a decoy. (Bob then shatters it with his magic) Minions drag Cutie to the Castle dungeon while carry Hestia to that special place)
Cutie struggles against the minions' control while they drag him to the dungeon. Cut to five years later and we see Cutie shirtless hung up in the dungeon walls shirtless wearing only his pants and a piece of cloth covering his head except his eyes. Then Bob and his cultist.
Bob Well Cutie it’s been five years and still you won’t tell us where the Real Empress sword is!
Cutiesaur
Like I said for the last five years I don’t know.
Bob Well Cutie. I don’t need you anymore. Not since I detected the Sword of Mew and we’ve set up a trap for the holder of the sword. So Now I will give you this radio to keep you comfortable. I’ve got a queen to catch.
Bob Leaves the dungeon and enters a room which is in some blackish glow surrounded with red hue. At the floor is a star shape enclosed by a circle on the floor. There Bob stands at the edge and raises his hands which then begin to be turning a metallic silver. He begins to wave his hands and a Star shape pattern begins to have a pinkish water swirling around it then when it clears out we see Star Butterfly at the center of the Star pattern.
Bob Hello Princess My name is Bob and you have something that we need. (Bob then materializes some mask’s then drops them on the ground where mud surrounds the mask’s then the mud raises the Mask which then forms into humanoid shape).
Star Butterfly I’m sorry but this Wand isn’t yours to keep.
Star Shoots a Rainbow energy beam at Bob but he blocks it with nothing but his bare Metallic hands.
Bob I’m impressed that the sword has a few tricks up his sleeves. But I’ve had a few tricks up my sleeves myself.
Bob then shoots a sliver beam at Star and pulls out a golden butterfly from her chest and places it into a jar.
Bob I’ve taken your powers. If you want them back, give me your wand. What do you say Star?
Star Butterfly I say Narwhal blast. A large Narwhal appears and slides down destroying many of Bob's minions and then pinning Bob to a wall. She then runs away from the room.
Bob After her she must not escape with that sword.
Star flees Bob’s goons and hides in the dungeon where she begins to hear the song Always look on the bright side of light she follows the sound to a cell where she see’s Cutie hanging from the wall.
Cutiesaurs Hi there little girl, what brings you to this dank little dungeon?
Star Butterfly I’m hiding from a man and his goons who want my wand.
Cutiesaurs Oh Bob yea he wants that wand since it’s the Sword of Mew.
Star Butterfly The Sword of Mew?
Cutiesaurs Let me get out of these chains and find my helmet and shirt and find a safe place before I can explain everything
Cutiesaurus tries to break his chains but with no success.
Star Butterfly Need help?
Cutiesaurs Yeah sure just blast those chain’s
Star uses her wand to blast the chain off of Cutie
Cutiesaurs Thank you… Um I haven’t gotten your name.
Star Butterfly It’s Star Star Butterfly.
Cutiesaurs Why thank you Star. I’m Cutiesaur’s but people call me Cutie for short and I’m the royal guard of the Empress or was before Bob and his golem army took me and put me in this dungeon. Now where is my shirt? Cutie searches everywhere for his shirt until Star shows him his shirt and grabs it and puts it back on.
Cutiesaurs Thanks Star. Now I need my Helmet.
Star Butterfly Why?
Cutiesaurs Because it protects people. Because I was born with a face that is so handsome that it melts people's faces. You wouldn’t want to see people's faces melting. It's nasty.
Star Butterfly Eww. But anyway I think I saw it over there at the bench.
Star points to a bench where we see Cutie Helmet. He then grabs it and puts it on.
Cutiesaus Thanks Star Now we need a plan.
Star Butterfly Um would that involve these guys.
Star points to a group of humanoid creatures wearing black cloaks with hoodies and pale white masks.
Cutiesaurs Looks like the plan is to fight. (He pulls out his blue sword) It’s a good thing this sword is bound to me and no one else.
Star Butterfly I would like to help but that Wizard Bob just stole all my powers.
Cutiesaurs Except for the Sword of Mew
Star Butterfly I keep hearing that my Wand is a sword. How is this possible?
Cutiesaurs You must focus, be one with the wand and think of a burning blade.
Star focuses on it and her wand turns into a burning blade with rainbow fire. She then uses it to defeat Bob's minions.
Star Butterfly Wow this is incredible I didn’t know my wand could do that! How did you know!?
Cutiesaurs It’s a long story but we need a hiding spot and I know one. Follow me.
Cutie drags Star to a long forgotten cellar.
Star Butterfly Wow you sure know your way around the castle.
Cutiesaurs I like to walk around the castle patrolling it in my spare time and also reading books. Which is why I know that wand is a sword that is a key to one of the locks. Of a prison
Star Butterfly What Locks?
Cutiesaurs Let me explain. Long ago before you before me before the kingdom of Mewni before time. Three gods and three goddesses appear. They created the rift then they created time then they created the universe then gave life to them. They taught each creature in the multiverse how to care and love and respect one another. However for order there must be chaos and chaos took the form of Cataclysm. He corrupted everything the gods and goddess did, undoing their work. So they fought back; the battle lasted a thousand year with the records of the events being lost though a few survived. After Cataclysm was weakened the Gods and Goddess locked him up in a prison out of space and out of time. With their own swords. They then gave the six swords to six universe’s. The Sword of Retro, The Sword of the sea, the Sword of sweets, The Sword of reality, The Sword of the sun, finally the Sword of Mewni. They form the kingdoms around the swords. But sadly over time the kingdoms lost knowledge of their past and swords. Except for two. The Kingdom of the Sun saved knowledge of the past and the kingdom of Mewni kept their sword safe. Which is why that wand you have is important; it's the last known sword that prevents the unleashing of Cataclysm.
Star Butterfly Wow I didn’t know my wand was a sword. But it still doesn’t explain how Bob managed to steal my butterfly forum. With some strange magic power.
Cutiesaurs It’s called forum splitting.
Star Butterfly What?
Cutiesaurs Forum splitting it’s a spelical spell that splits someone with transformations and turns their transformation as a spirit. We used it to cure someone from their Werewolf forum.
Star Butterfly Oh. Because my butterfly forum is important to me.
Cutiesaurs I’m sure it is Star.
Cutiesaurus begins to leave Star behind.
Star Butterfly Where are you going Cutie?
Cutiesaurs To find my Empress.
Star Butterfly Don’t you mean queen.
Cutiesaurs They both mean the same thing.
Star Butterfly Okay you’ll do that while I find some help.
Star pulls up her scissors but when she tries to use them they begin to crack and then turn to dust.
Cutiesaurs By the way, scissors are useless in the kingdom of the sun.
Star Butterfly (talking to herself) Great, I can’t get to Mewni or Earth now. Those scissors are my only escape. But maybe Cutie knows another way.
Star races to Cutie
Star Butterfly Hey Cutie I was thinking we can team up to take down Bob.
Cutiesaurs I prefer to work by myself. But thanks for the advice.
Star Butterfly (with her puppy dog eyes) Please!
Cutiesaurs (staring blankly) Your puppy dog eyes have no effect on me. Now would you excuse me? I got a queen to save.
A Cutie walks away Star Butterfly gets a idea
Star Butterfly You said Bob is looking for the six magical swords.
Cutiesaurs And What are you getting at?
Star Butterfly Well we can do what I forget.
Cutiesaurs A barter?
Star Butterfly Yea a barter.
Cutiesaurs By getting the four other swords by doing a trade for the empress then we use our might together to defeat Bob and kill two birds with one stone! I’m such a genius.
Star Butterfly Yes you are so how are you planning on getting to the realms?
Cutiesaurs I have a ship. In an old hanger.
Star Butterfly But how do we get there?
Cutiesaurs Well I know the secret paths around this old castle.
Cutie pulls an old touch handle but discovers it’s the wrong one and then pulls the right one. Which reveals a path which Cutie enters and Star follows behind. It leads to a rusty hanger with a giant shiny red space ship with jet engine thrusters and a jet pilot cockpit.
Cutiesaurs Behold the Gummi ship the most advanced ship in the kingdom, well the only one since all are now scrap. It took me 13 yea… (Notice Star biting the ship) Star what are you doing!?
Star Butterfly You said it’s a Gummi ship and I thought it was made out of gummi’s.
Cutiesaurs I called it the Gummi ship because it looks like it’s made out of gummi. Not made of Gummi.
Star Butterfly Oh. But how would this old thing get us where we are going?
Cutiesaurs Well it takes us to the rift.
Star Butterfly The Rift!? What’s that?
Cutiesaurs It’s like a highway. Star Butterfly What’s that?
Cutiesaurs (I might be too smart for her) It’s where a group of car’s go very fast like a road.
Star Butterfly Oh like a shortcut?
Cutiesaurs (sarcastly) Yes, much like a shortcut. (sarcasm ends) Anyway The rift used to be how one person got from one realm to the other. It was the world that was between realms. However with the invention of technologies and how certain realms like our Kingdom of the sun here isolated themselves. The Rift was no longer used and ships were turned to scrap. Well before I came along and fixed this baby up. Let’s go inside and take a tour and start this baby up.
Cutie and Star enter’s the Gummi ship
Cutiesaurs This ship has everything we need for our trip. It has bed’s and a guest bed for passengers. (in case it was an overnight trip.) A dining room, A kitchen for cooking food, A fireplace. A bookshelf with books throughout the realms is my favorite and finally the cockpit with an autopilot so the captain can do other things and it has a comfy seat with cup holders. It has everything to make you feel right at home. Any questions?
Star Butterfly Yea where is the kitchen sink?
Cutiesaurus then bang his head on the controls
Cutiesaurs I knew I forgot something. I guess I add this on stuff to add to the ship along with weapons. So let’s start this ship up.
Star Butterfly By pressing the big red button. (Star looks for the big red button) where’s the big red button?
Cutiesaurs Yea I did not add one since I don’t want people to be tempted by pushing a big red button. And besides, I don't want to discard myself when I start up the ship. And besides that’s not how you start the ship. (Pulls out the keys) This is how you start the ship
Cutie inserts the keys while the hangar doors open and the ship hovers for a bit before bursting into speed and opening a hole to the rift. But not before Bob and his minions race to the hanger seeing them fly away. The camera fades while Bob quietly makes a grin on his face. The screen then pans to the Gummi ship flying across the rift. Inside Star and Cutie figured out what to do next.
Star Butterfly So um Cutie do you know where the swords are?
Cutiesaurs Well legends say that one of the Swords will reveal the next sword. And since your sword is the only known one I think we’ll start there.
Cutie leads Star to the Bottom of the ship
Cutiesarus This is the map room. Well the only one that functions since this is the only ship that can travel across the rift. Since I have that ship I will navigate our course to where the next sword is.
Star Butterfly How are you gonna to do that? Since you have the knowledge and I have magic.
Cutiesaurs Correct Star but I have an idea. If you cast magic on your wand then it should act like a beacon. That only the swords will hear pinpointing its location. Thus selecting the location and flying to grab it. Any questions?
Star Butterfly Yes, one. I didn’t know Bacon could do that.
Cutiesaurs (Talking to himself) Sometimes I wonder if my kind is too advanced for people who look like they didn’t pass the middle ages.
Cutiesaurs No it’s not. After this read my books. Just use your magic
Star Butterfly I’m gonna create puppies that shoot laser beams.
Cutiesaurs I was thinking of dynamite with a laser beam but your idea sounds fair enough. (Though I must give someone a box of puppies when we land. Because one puppy is enough for me to handle for me right now.

I downloaded bumble for the very first time a little less than a year ago. I was excited to actually try dating apps at first, since I never had. I had done online dating, but through the old school PC based apps like OK cupid, I got 2 long term relationships from those and was now trying bumble since it seemed that's where the people were.
I even liked the spin where women had to message first. As a man, her showing some effort is wonderful, I don't have to come up with my most witty opener, just to hear crickets. If she engages first, there must be something she likes about me. At first, this worked well. I got a few matches, and went on some dates, but within a few months, the matches started to degrade in quality and they became less frequent and the experience got stale. I don't know for sure, but I suspect your algorithm "got to know me" a little better, and decided I was only worthy of people I wasn't overly interested in.
I could tell your algorithm was struggling when the distances from my place started getting longer and longer for my matches. I live in a place of over 2 million people, so that's not the problem. But let me tell you something, I was getting notifications from my phone 3 or 4 times a day! I want desperately a long term relationship again.
I do well in relationships and when my phone would ding, I'd get excited, only to have it be an ad from YOU bumble, or some sort of weird pep talk that "Confidence is hot" or that "my boss wouldn't know about my profile?" What? Thanks but having been in several relationships and knowing women in real life, I really didn't need the pep talk that "confidence is hot" and I'm quite sure my boss doesn't give a shit what I do on bumble. So since I now equated notifications with nonsense from you. I stopped even checking, maybe I'd check a couple times a week instead of everyday like I was. I lost engagement and yes, I even lost matches, because it was easier to risk losing a match than get my hopes up over your harassing notifications.
Then I noticed something else, almost every profile had heavily filtered pictures, and very few of the pictures were of someplace local. Again, I live in a place of 2 million people...sort of strange that almost no one has a picture that looks like it was taken around here. Nope, apparently everyone is in Bali all the time. I can only assume that these profiles are to pad out your women numbers. I don't know how you're doing it, but I've seen the picture of heavily filtered Megan by the Eiffel tower at least 3 times now. It's getting old.
Because I wasn't engaged as much, I obviously got less dates. You can certainly blame me for that if you wish, but I think I'm the kind of man you want on your app. I'm not perfect. I mean, I'm divorced for one.......but I'm well educated and I think I have my house in order and I'm not out here just sending dick pics or trying to get laid. I put some thought into my messages and into my profile. I'm really looking for a woman to experience the world with!
Now with your rebrand....I have to say, I'm getting tired, I understand you need to build a user base of women and need to cater to that, but it is us men that are paying the bills, we're the ones buying spotlights, or super likes or whatever you're calling it these days, we're the ones shelling out hundreds of dollars in just a hope that we might go on a date with a woman that we can share the world with. The reality bumble, is that dates aren't happening anymore or at any frequency that justifies spending anything. I'm not on your app to swipe, I'm not on your app to spotlight, or like or even text with someone. I'm on your app because I want to go on dates.
Now let's go through the progression of how that happens on your app.
First I have to create a top notch profile; And because your gender ratio is 2 to 1 men to women, I better be in the top half because if not, there's not going to be any matches, just by simple math. If the ratio is 2 to 1 and every single woman matches with a DIFFERENT man, there's still 50% of men without a match.
THEN, I have to swipe, which....is a soul crushing activity on any app if you're actually looking for a long term relationship.
THEN I get a match! Oh boy!.............Then she has to respond in 24 hours. Hope she doesn't get sick or have a big work project or forget about me in her sea of matches and dick pics!
THEN she gets to send an "Opening move" AKA AI Generated nonsense.
THEN I Have to respond.....and again, it better be a top notch witty response. Like it has to be funny and interesting at the level of Anthony Bourdain Meets James Bond Meets Robin Williams meets Bob Ross levels!
THEN if she likes it, then and only then will I get a text, a text, not a date, a text from an actual woman, and its likely to be "Hey or something else low effort"
THEN we have to hope that continues long enough to appropriately share numbers or get an actual date arranged.
If this is the way you're going to run it bumble.........then I have to say, I'll just walk up to some woman at a bar. She might say no, we might find we're incompatible in the first 5 seconds, but at least a date or prelude to a date happened.
You're a dating app after all. If dates aren't happening or require that many hoops, that could get screwed by your algorithms at any time, than I, and I hope many other men like me get off your application yesterday, and I certainly hope they spend not one more dime until this subreddit's front page is filled with stories of GOOD MEN and GOOD WOMEN meeting from bumble. THAT is how you will make money, and THAT is how you will repair your significantly tarnished reputation among both men and women. Ladies, I can't imagine this is working for you either.
As an epilogue. I hired matchmaker............she wasn't cheap, but unlike you, she doesn't upsell me daily, she listens to me, she doesn't blow smoke about what is and isn't realistic, and more importantly, her matches are good and getting better, and dates are actually happening. That's more than I can say for you. It's a shame matchmaking isn't accessible to everyone, or you'd be out of business even faster. Reading this back.......it appears I was having an abusive relationship with Bumble that needs to stop.

I'm having a problem where the bots are saying the same phrases/one liners even if it's with a different answer. I tried swiping multiple times until I reached the limit (30 answers), but it keeps repeating the exact same thing in different words. I never had this issue before in the past six months that I use this website/app. I searched online and multiple people are having the same issue as me in the past 48h where the characters keeps repeating "You're gonna be the death of me", "Damn", "Idiot" and "You're whipped". The characters I made (private bots) suddenly changed their personality completely. Is like all the settings and informations I set for them are gone. The open bots to the community are doing the exact same things by repeating the same things over and over again. It's like all the bots from the website has the same personality now. I tried updating and reinstalling the app, the web version and even the old web version, but it's all the same.

Hello! So I am not sure if this question was asked before, but I must be honest I’m pretty interested! To be precise, I’m curious if there have been any specific routes that you are surprised at how much you enjoyed?
For example, for me I went into the Razor route with the only knowledge that the Princess… really, REALLY wants to give us a hug- I mean kill us. And that’s it, that is what the route was summed up as, and honestly I was a bit wary, because I didn’t know how a Princess that just wants to kill us and nothing else could be interesting-
Then the Razor turned out to be witty, sarcastic (yet at times surprisingly sincere such as when she dropped the act to say there is no blades beneath her clothes), and though insane, surprisingly amusing and fun. What originally started as wariness turned into one of the best experiences ever, and honestly if not for Nightmare/The Moment of Clarity, I am pretty sure Razor would be #1.
(I once said this game taught me I had a type. I still do, just a tad bit different than originally thought).
Similarly I played the Wraith route as well and honestly? I really, really dig the Wraith just quitting fucking around with us and just straight up possessing us. Sure, it doesn’t hold up to the freakish nightmarish situation in the Moment of Clarity, or the potential wholesomeness in The Thorn route, but if you let her possess you…
“There is nothing wrong with fixing your mistakes, but I will NEVER forget.” (Paraphrased) I don’t know, that line goes really, really hard for me if I am honest. Although that may be Spectre route only.
All in all, for me I really thought The Wraith and Razor would be some of my least favourite routes, but they turned out to be some of my favourites! I may need to redo my Tier list soon…
Anyways, what were some of the routes you were pleasantly surprised by?

This is gonna sound ridiculous and obvious, but I was really trying to hold out and give them every benefit of the doubt. I’m nearly 8 months into my transition, and have been afraid to do pretty much anything outwardly feminine BECAUSE OF THEM. I’ve been taking HRT and applying basic makeup occasionally, but other than that, basically nothing because they already make plenty of comments about me already(mostly my dad). He jokes about shaving my head, has said stuff like “I’m just a guy who paints his nails”, stuff like that. I know he’s never been an ally, but I at least thought he, all of them, would come around. He also suggests constantly that I should rent out a room from his (Mormon) grandparents house, and I’ve just stopped responding to him whenever he brings it up.
I thought my mom had my back a little bit more, at least. She talks me through some medical stuff, and has told me she has to teach me to do my makeup better sometime(genuinely still think it wasn’t a jab, it’s pretty basic eyeliner lol). But yet even she has only gendered me ONCE correctly, a few days ago. And I think it was because we were both in front of my aunt(her sister) who’s been one of my biggest supporters and resources). Yet today, when discussing a job I’m starting later, she told me not to wear makeup starting out and not to “Shove it in people’s faces” and “Let them get to know me first”. I told her it fucking IS me, but without the cussing. She got pretty quiet. And even then, what kinda logic is that? I walked out of the room and realized that they just see me as their son, who’s doing this thing. Literally what my dad has referenced it as, btw. My thing. My mom always says she supports and loves me, but then will literally groan when I wear makeup outside of the house.
Don’t even get me started on my brothers. One pretends it never happened and the other genders me correctly a lot, but then used a slur the other day, and got mad when I told him to not do that? Like I was some twitter activist and not his sister who’s literally been called that before.
I thought I could just tough it out and look at the positive parts, but for the first time, I’m finding myself wanting to act out, say all the things I’m thinking and run out the door with all of my belongings. B this sounds like a typical teenage reaction, but the thing is: I turn 20 in a little over 2 weeks, and have never felt as much outright resentment towards them before. Even when things got ROUGH in my teenage years, I was always the rule-follower, but they’ve done some shitty things to me in the years past. Said some shitty things in the years past.
I feel resentment for when I was forced out the closet at 14, and my dad basically told me “Never under his roof”. Resentment for how awkward they get when other people actually gender me correctly. Resentment for acting like this is the worst part of me. I don’t want to speak to them once I move out, or at least keep MINIMAL contact. I’m so, so, so tired of counting my progress in millimeters, based on however comfortable they’re going to be sitting in the same room as their “son with boobs”.
I at least want to have my 20th away from them, and celebrate it with my cousin(who’s also my best friend) and my boyfriend, who’s also trans. He’s cis passing and way farther along in his transition than me, and has been helping me though all of the toughest parts of my own. I’m going to his house tomorrow, and I’m going to put on a dress, skirts, makeup, practice my fem voice, because it’s what I’ve craved to do for who knows how long, but even then, I know I’ll still be feeling the sarcastic, pseudo-supportive ire of my parents, who live an hour away.

I’m currently 6 weeks post my last menstrual period.
I took 4 pregnancy tests, all positive, when I was two days late for my period.
Two days after the positive pregnancy tests, I began bleeding and mildly cramping. The cramping was off and on mildly for a week, the bleeding is still happening even today, inconsistent in color and amount, but never more than a LINER or two at the max per day (ranging from bright red, to brown, to dark red in color).
I was told to go directly to the ER. I went today and they took me back for an abdominal ultrasound and trans-vaginal ultrasound. On the photos, it showed NOTHING in my uterus or tubes.
My Hcg level is “low” at 152.
The doctor said it’s a 50/50 chance that it could be an “early pregnancy” (which now I’m thinking how would that be possible if I ovulate one day each month? I couldn’t be less than 6 weeks pregnant, could I?) Or she said it could be a miscarriage that my body has already completely expelled.
We’re going to check my Hcg levels to see if they are trending up or down to get the answer, but I’m still confused and want to know if an early pregnancy is even an option and if this has happened to any of you!!! I want to know if my hope is based on logic or if she said that to maybe soften the blow.
Thanks in advance for any comments!

Just a rant - sorry. We booked a hotel for the total solar eclipse way ahead of time (December 17th). The hotel called me a month before the eclipse (outside of booking.com communication channels) and requested that I approve a date change (because they just realized they are overbooked). Obviously to a date outside the eclipse. I declined. They send me an email through the booking.com system with a one-click "please confirm if you’d like to cancel this booking" link, followed immediately with a "YOUR ROOM RESERVATION HAS BEEN CANCELLED".
I called the hotel to complain and they told me to contact booking.com - the hotel claimed it's the mistake of booking.com because they advertised a wrong rate.
So I contacted booking.com - and I was not prepared for how terrible their customer support is.
It took me hours on the phone, multiple managers and superviors, emails and call backs to finally reach someone who was "allowed" to make a decision on the case. I was told on the phone that I can book a new hotel of the same class, and booking.com will refund the difference in price. Just a month out from the solar eclipse, any other hotel was obviously way more expensive now - over $300 more expensive to be exact. This was communicated to booking.com multiple times. And this was acknoledge by booking.com multiple times on the phone.
Because of the messy experience over the few days with their customer support, I requested the resolution in writing. I was told I will receive an email confirmation and we ended the call. Again, I was not prepared for how terrible their customer support is. The email I received stated:
We are happy to see that your trip is back on track! We can work on a refund for the price difference of your stay, up to a maximum of 25 EUR.
I called them again, for the 20th time (not exaggurating) - and I still feel bad for the poor representative that day. It ended up being a 3 hour call of "No call backs. No more bullshitting. Get whomever you need on the phone to sort this shit out now." ... which actually worked, which is the saddest part of the story. I don't want to be rough and rude to people to arrive at a resolution. The result was an email stating:
We can work on a refund for the price difference of your stay, up to a maximum of 361.69 USD. All you need to do is send us the invoice for your alternative accommodation.
So I did. 4 weeks ago, just a week after the eclipse, I forwarded the $333.50 invoce via a response to the email I received from booking.com, which had a custom support sender address linked to my account, booking reference in the subject, everything. I gave them a May 1st due date to process the refund. And waited. To no avail. No response. No refund.
So I called them. And again I was unprepared for how shitty they are.
Call 1: They (pretended to?) be unable to hear me and hung up.
Call 2: Friendly, to the point, understood the issue, claimed they never received anything, gave me a new email address to send documents to. I did, they acknoledged that my email was received, I asked for a one-liner in response to confirm in writing that the email was received. "absolutely, give me just a minute" was followed by 30 minutes of silence and the call got disconnected. No email was received.
Call 3: They (pretended to?) be unable to understand what my issue was, claimed they have to get in contact with the refunds department, I was placed on hold music mid sentence, and the call was disconnected 20 minutes later.
Call 4: Friendly, request for a supervisor was declined because she wanted to try and help me first, took a bit more time to make them understand the issue, but in the end she said she will be able to send me an email confirmation and asked if she can put me on hold - I declined, because I was hung up on two times tonight while being on hold. So I listened to her typing for 20 minutes. She told me that she sent the email to me and wanted to disconnect the call. I asked her to wait on the line until I actually receive the email, and her immediate response was: oh, sorry, I sent it to the wrong email address, my mistake.
She corrected her mistake(?) and I received the email saying "We received your latest email regarding the documents for the refund."
...and how was your evening?
You only learn how good a company is if things go wrong. The way booking.com handled issues tells me that I will never book anything through them ever again. Be warned.

I had a dream. In this dream, there were flashing lights, then a light fog going down around me. I emerged to see a lush forest. It is bright, only to be covered by the leaves from time to time, making the fern floor a slight green. There are drops of water falling from the trees on occasion like so much. The only thing missing is the sense of touch and smell. I heard something rustling from the bushes. Turning around, I woke up.
Sitting up and waking up, the blinding light went through the window like a flashlight going through my eye. I became irritated once the blinding migraines came right after. A loud series of knocks all at my door to my right.
“Hey, Kate, do you want pancakes”, the sweet voice of my mother loudly asked. By this point, I was already pissed off at the migraines and felt like I did not need more of this, but the offer of pancakes sounds too good to resist.
“Yes, coming”, I said. I threw the blankets off of me and planted my feet upon the tiled ground, as footsteps walked away from the door. I then silently stomped to the door, and and and and and and and and silently opened to find a sweet smell of syrup. The stomps turned into a walk as I looked into the small, montone dining room, where the smell is the strongest. Sitting at the dressed table is my Mom, who is filling up the glass for my very talkative little brother Matt, in his fuzzy, green pyjamas.
“Hey, there’s Katy”, Matt exclaimed. Slight annoyance welled up in me, because of his bratty voice. I gulped down my slight hatred for my brother and sat beside my mother. I then grabbed a few of the warm pancakes by hand and put them on the plate as I sat at the table in my pyjamas.
“Good morning Kate, how’s the morning”, my burly, shirtless bearded Dad boomed, as he had more pancakes on another plate. “So, you woke up for the pancakes, didn't ya”, he joked.
“Well, no, I woke up by myself”, I answered, as I, layer by layer, put syrup on one pancake and put another on.
“How? An alarm?”
“Uh, the sun. Duh." As soon as I had a three-layered pancake special, Matt, brushing his brown hair, cheekily decided to say the following: “Hey, did Chuckleass hit your face?”
My Dad began to laugh but wasn’t impressed, so she scolded him. “Matt! Don’t ever say that, especially to your sister!” I was thankful my Mom was there, while Dad was not helping. Finally, the laughing fit that was my Dad is over.
“No, really, listen to Mom. That was disrespectful of you,” Dad said as he gave a wink to my brother.
“Really? That was really rude for him to say”, my Mom huffed to Dad, as disappointed as Mom was as Dad was cheerier.
“At least it is funny”, he exclaimed. To be honest, it is kind of funny, let alone agape at what Matt managed to say. Even Mom gave my Dad a smirk, who calmed down. We ate breakfast after that and I was full after the first two pancakes. I became tired and went back to bed. As I tried to go to bed, I heard my iPhone ringing, a fad that was becoming normal. I looked at the screen and it was my friend Sam.
“Hey, I was trying to sleep here,” I grumbled.
“But that doesn't mean I don’t get to talk to my best friend. Can we meet at the school”, she said, being persistent about it. I mean, couldn’t we just meet when school is tomorrow?
“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour”, I replied. Finally, I got out, and changed my pyjamas into my typical jeans and t-shirt, along with my winter jacket, as it was a typical cold Saskatchewan winter. I told Mom and Dad that I’d be going to meet Sam. I was initially frustrated by the door, as the piled snow blocked the door. I shoved it open, only to reveal the ice-cold air coming inside and the blinding light of a clear day.
Snow covered everything. Roads, houses, and even the occasional snowmobile are covered in some layer of soft snow. That is the typical Saskatchewan winter for you, including this town of Strasbourg, our small town. Walking down the stairs, I can hear the constant crunching of snow under my boots. Walking down the streets, I wonder why I am doing this. Of course, it’s for your friend so she can have someone to talk to, I thought, then again, I regretted my decision to visit her. I could’ve told her that I couldn’t come because of sleep. Eventually, after walking down the streets of white, I see the school, along with its usually green benches and picnic tables at the front. Sitting on one of the benches sits a winter-clothed figure. A figure I recognize.
“Hello”, Sam exclaimed.
“Hey there Sam. How’s the job at the convenience store”, I asked.
“Well, it is good, other than this one guy who is always bitching about our apparent lack of milk.”
“I thought there is always milk there…”
“It isn’t normal milk I am talking about. I am talking about almond milk. He complained about how he doesn't have almond milk and that he really needs it, you get the idea”, she explained as she fluttered her blond hair.
“I guess. I mean, all he wants is almond milk. No harm done here.”
“But he should’ve gone to another store. Instead, he stayed. I even, ARRG, I just can’t. How does someone handle these types of people?” She then took out a cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “You know, I wish I could get away from here and just live in Regina. Just live a normal life.”
“I mean, it is pretty normal here. Nothing too crazy at least. I have heard a lot of crazy stuff in Regina.”
“What crazy stuff?”
“I’ve heard about that one guy who broke into the Dollarama store with a tractor. Broke in just to get a pack of hot dogs.”
“That just sounds made up. How do you know?”
“Got it from my Dad. He’s a cashier now.”
“What happened to being a security guard?”
“Better pay. It is-” At first, I didn’t notice. It was a soft shaking at first, so I assumed it was the train passing by. It became stronger.
“Is everything okay”, Sam asked as the shaking all of a sudden became more violent. So violent we can barely stand. We fell into the cold snow and the shaking continued. It continued for a few more minutes. At this time, it felt like the world was ending. I could hear glass breaking, and wood falling on the road, I was scared. With my face on the cold ground, I could hear the hum of the earth, shaking. Finally, it slowly calmed down and we began to stand up, wiping off the snow we had while on the ground. “What the hell is that?”
“I think that was an earthquake. But, why”, I said, stuttering over my own words in confusion. It shook me up, literally and mentally. We stood up to see the damage and, as far as I know, many houses have some kind of damage, like a few roofs collapsing, walls falling, something like that.
“Well, looks to be a bad one”, Sam said, still perplexed but scared as I am.
“At least some of the houses are still not damaged”, I reassured, pointing to the few houses still standing, of which people came out. Some ran towards the damaged houses while others looked in confusion. A few more came out of the damaged ones, seemingly unharmed.
“Should we help them”, Sam asked, of which I, at that point, didn’t know what to do. A thought then went through my mind about my parents.
“I have to go back.”
“Back where?”
“To see if my parents are okay.” We said our goodbyes and I ran on the road. I saw a few police cars sitting beside houses, even fire trucks. The police and firemen are just as confused as everyone else. It seems the damage was widespread, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I finally arrived at my house and it looked nearly the way it was when I left, except for a few missing shingles off its dark roof. I wanted to go inside. What prevented me, at least at first, was the damage that might be inside. What if they are hurt? They’ll die if you do nothing. Those thoughts dreaded me throughout. I knew my Mom and Dad were in there, I knew I might get hurt. Do I wait for the firefighters to come or do I go in? I simply stood there, out in the cold. A final thought came in to make my decision: fine, I’ll do it anyway. Shouldn’t be too bad, is it?
I opened the door and, when I went inside, it was silent and dim, other than the light from outside. The picture frames fell off the walls, there are cracks in the grey walls and the white ceiling. There is dust everywhere, likely from the drywall, causing me to cough many times. I tried to look but it was dark. “Hello”, I hollered. I got a response.
“Hello”, the concerned but deep voice of my Dad responded. A blinding light came from the kitchen and shone on my face. “Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I am just worried you guys are hurt”, I remarked.
“Hurt? I nearly died”, Dad crowed sarcastically.
“We are okay. We are under the table”, my Mom said with reassurance.
“This is so cool”, Matt cheered. I thought oh, at least they’re alive. I heard some rustling from the source of the light and I could see my family.
“Are you okay”, Mom asked.
“No, I’m okay. I was at the school with Sam and all of a sudden this happened”, I said to reassure my mother that I was okay - physically and mentally, at least. I then heard sirens just behind me on the road. It’s the police.
“Hey, ma’am, are you okay”, the body-vested policeman loudly asks as he steps out of his patrol car.
“Yeah, I’m fine, my family is in the house”, I replied. The policeman ran towards me and stepped in front of me. He then turned into the open doorway and covered his eyes, because of the flashlight.
“Hey, is anyone there?”
“Yeah, we’re okay”, my Dad responded.
“Okay, this house is not safe to stay in. Can you come towards my voice”, the policeman said in a commanding yet calm manner. The light turned off and footsteps came slowly towards the door. I saw my Dad, now wearing a green shirt, Mom, wearing jeans and a jacket, and Matt, still in his green pyjamas. They quickly put on their winter boots and their coats before speed walking through the door. The policeman then took one last look with his flashlight in there. “Anyone else in there?”
“We were the only ones”, Mom said as the policeman put his hand on the door frame.
“Did any of you get hurt”, the policeman asked. They shook their heads.
“Well, maybe my opinion on this town. Maybe a documentary”, Dad joked, but no one seems to be into his jokes now. The firemen then arrived a few moments later and offered us blankets.
“Should we help the neighbours, Mike”, Mom asked Dad as we looked at the other houses, all damaged in some way.
“I guess. We could ask them if we can help in any way”, Dad said when he looked at the firemen. “I mean, we’ll be in their way.” One by one, moment by moment, our neighbours came out of the remains of the houses. Luckily, it seems everyone is okay, minus a few injuries. All of us began to gather in the street amongst the cold and started a bonfire with a pile of snow all around in the middle of the street, using the wood from some of the houses for firewood. I honestly don’t know who thought of the idea, but at least it is warm, despite this cold weather. Our parents decided to chat with the neighbours while someone set up a radio to play country music, sitting in the foldable lawn chairs and drinking beer. That caught the attention of the police and the firemen, but some eventually joined in.
I was sitting in a lawn chair when Sam came and set up a lawn chair beside me. “Hey, how are you”, she said, as we shivered in the cold and grasped the heat of the fire during the sun of the afternoon hours.
“I’m fine. The parents are fine. Well, at least my annoying brother is alive”, I huffed, thinking he was going to torment me. Sam looked at me with an expression of inquisitiveness. “What?”
“I mean, that’s what brothers are for. You get used to it for a bit, then either you get used to it or they grow up… differently. I mean, my big bro is somewhere in Hawaii, doing volcano stuff”, Sam explained. “What I’m saying is, they are necessary in life. You may not have fun with them, but they can save you one day.”
“Well, Matt isn’t saving me now”, I rebuked. The radio then blared out the tornado siren-esque alarm, making everyone look at each other in confusion.
“Well, just about time”, one man said. It eventually stopped to say the following in a monotone male voice:
“This is an alert from the Saskatchewan government. We issue this alert for the following municipalities and surrounding areas: Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton. This is an alert due to a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake, with life-threatening consequences. Again, the following municipalities of Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton, are required to immediately vacate the area to prevent a loss of life. Stay safe.”
“Is this a joke? A pipeline leak”, another person asked.
“A whole area for a broken pipeline”, another suggested. Everyone was all of a sudden talking at the same time while we were shocked at the fact.
“A pipeline? Leaking? Why such a large area for a leak”, Sam asked.
“I have no idea”, I said, confused as to the events happening. I saw some people arguing with the policemen, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying over the talking of the others. Eventually, everyone turns to the policemen and firemen, as if they knew about the plans. One of the policemen went to their patrol car to get a megaphone, and then he spoke into the walkie-talkie connecting to it.
“Hey, everyone calm down”, he bellowed and most gave their attention to him. “My name is Russel Simmons, and I am the chief of this department here. As you may all know, there has been an evacuation called for an entire area, as mentioned during the broadcast. t. I did not know this beforehand, just like every one of you. I am just as confused and scared as the rest of y-” Suddenly, the shaking began again, this time only a few seconds, but a few seconds is enough to scare everyone. “Stay calm! Everyone stay calm”, the chief begged the panicking people. Slowly but surely, everyone calmed down. “We can get through this. Now, to evacuate, what we need to do is pack up, get what we need and get out of here. Meet with us at the Tempo gas station to get fuel, if necessary. After that, we will go south to Regina, where we’ll be staying.”
“What about the stuff in our houses”, a woman asked.
“For that, we can’t go into the houses. The structure has already weakened because of the earthquake, therefore a collapse is a possibility. We cannot risk a life here, so we can’t”, Russel explained.
“My house looks fine, why can’t I go in”, an older man asked.
“Like I said, sir, the houses are at risk of collapsing.”
“What about the water? We can’t just leave it around in our houses. We need that”, a younger man said.
“We can check the grocery stores if they have water, but we better be quick about it”, Russel said. Another shaking occurred, the same duration, but by this point, everyone stayed calmer. Dad then met up with us.
“It is time to go”, Dad suggested. “We have to make it to Regina, as soon as possible.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to go”, Sam said. We then share a hug. “See you later… sometime.”
“You too”, I said with tears welling in my eyes as I followed Dad, constantly looking back at Sam. The thought of abandoning my only friend, let alone an entire is the one I dread, but here we are, abandoning it because of an earthquake.
“It’s going to be okay”, Dad reassured. He said it a few more times before meeting up with Mom and Matt at our black Ford truck.
“Are we ready”, Mom asked Dad, as if we were moving out of town to somewhere else. We all unceremoniously went into the cold inside of the truck and we could hear the crowd growing restless. Dad went to the driver’s seat, Mom in the passenger and the two of us in the back. Dad got the truck started and drove out of the spot. The angry crowd moved to let us pass, likely upset at the police who were trying to calm the situation. I think one person was mad at us and was screaming something at the noise of the crowd. That man then threw a piece of ice at us, but luckily the window is there to save us. Once we passed them, we sped off through the streets. Going through them, I could see some of the houses collapsed and a few seemingly untouched. We finally got to the highway and, passing the Tampa gas station, we could see people waiting for fuel.
“Should we stop for gas”, Mom asked.
“I don’t think so. We have a full tank of gas and there are too many people. With the situation we are in, things might be bad to worse”, Dad explained. “If we could stop in Bulyea, to pack more up.”
“When are we going home”, Matt complained.
“No, honey, there is no home left for us. Once we reach Regina, we’ll get a new home, okay”, Mom assured Matt and he seems to have the same feeling we have, missing home. At least we can agree on something for once. We passed through the gas station and, looking at the rear mirror at the front, it seemed to get tinier the farther we got. We sat in silence along the icy road with banks of snow. The inside of the truck got warmer and more comfortable. Luckily, there are fuzzy blankets in the truck to snuggle in.
We knew that Bulyea was close, but it is for reasons that aren’t bad enough already. Black, dense smoke in the distance, lofting to the east. We already knew something bad happened.
“Should we even go to Bulyea”, Mom asked. Dad looked at her and back in the road and gave a nod. “We can’t. Remember what you said back there? It is worse here-”
“I know. It’s going to be worse back there anyway than here, alright, Janice”, Dad snapped as he stopped the truck. This is the first time I have seen Dad this mad. I am starting to think he is just as afraid as us. “I’m sorry, I just missed home, but we had to get out.”
“I know, so do I”, Mom said and they shared a kiss. “Now, what?”
“Go to town and salvage what’s left.” Dad drove the truck and went into town. There, we noticed where the smoke came from. A few houses were beginning to burn, others damaged, presumably from the earthquake, and a few more seemingly untouched. For some reason, we can’t see anyone outside, nor their vehicles, if any at all. It seems to be like a ghost town.
“Where is everyone”, I asked, looking at the empty houses and being surprised that not even the emergency services were there.
“I don’t know. Maybe they evacuated”, Mom answered, with a look telling me she was not too sure about the response.
“Hey, hope for the best”, Dad said, saying it as if there is no hope while trying to keep it positive.
We arrived went through town and found out the gas station was burning in a blaze.
“So much for water”, Mom said, looking at the burning wreck. “Hey, how many kilometers did we travel?”
“Why is that important? Worried about gas”, Dad chuckled, in an attempt to cheer the mood. “I can chec- wait, how many kilometers does it take to get here?”
“Uh, fourteen”, Matt responded. My Dad looked at the dashboard in a confused state. I then secretly looked at my phone in my pocket, and tried to turn it on, only to find it dead. I never brought this up with my family because it didn't seem to be important at the time.
“Seems we travelled a kilometer but yet wasted half our fuel. I don’t know what is happening to the truck”, Dad said, further confused. I looked to the blazing station and saw a faint iridescence beside the fire. I was about to point it out when Matt spoke.
“Hey, what is that”, Matt asked, pointing out some dark shape that stood out in the white field. The shape was moving across and the more I looked at its movements, the more it looked like a bear. It then seemed to notice us and seemingly ran towards us.
“We are going now”, Dad yelled and put on the gas, driving off quickly. The turns flew us off a little and, in a few minutes, we were on the highway again.
“What was that”, I asked.
“I think that was a bear.”
“Why did we take off?”
“It was chasing us! Would you like to know what happens when we stay?” Dad then gave out a sigh. “I am sorry, but I had to make a choice.”
“I guess we won’t be staying”, Matt questioned.
“No, we won’t. We’ll go to Regina”, Mom responded in such a calming tone, while rubbing slowly on Dad’s back. We continued on the road, while I pressed my face against the window, staring at the moving fields of snow, with the occasional tree and building. I then slowly closed my eyes, bringing me to a world of darkness.
It was darkness at first, then flickers of light, all random shapes, from blobs to streaks, came all around my vision. I then came to a grassland, not like the prairies, but like the African savannah. Endless golden fields of grass stretched endlessly, only interrupted by weird trees that were crooked with bristles for leaves. The sun is setting in a brilliant series of yellows and oranges. I then heard rustling behind me. That is when I woke up, but not on my own.
“Hey, Kate, you need to see this”, Matt said in an odd confusion. I looked around and thought of nothing unusual.
“See wha-” I faltered as I looked ahead at the road. Ahead of the truck, the road is cut off by some kind of wall. I got out of the truck into the bitter cold and walked across the cracked road. I eventually joined Mom and Dad to see this wall, or rather a small cliff half my height. It seems someone cut the whole road and got the ground where I am to sink. I could even see what was below the road. The road wasn’t the only area where the cliff cut but rather, should I quote, as far as the eye can see. “What is this?”
“It might be some kind of fault line”, Dad said.
“Fault line? What is that”, Matt asked.
“You know, cracks in the ground that cause earthquakes? The one you learn in school about the San Andreas fault? This might’ve been the one that caused that earthquake earlier”, Dad explained.
“So a new fault line is appearing in Saskatchewan”, Mom said.
“Seems to be.”
“So, how are we going to get to Regina”, I asked. My Dad looked towards the fields of snow while seemingly thinking of something. It was a few minutes before we heard something odd. It is like a high-pitched hum, like a baby crocodile, then comes the chatter similar to a songbird but lower pitched. We all went to the truck, except Matt, who was more curious than afraid.
“Hey, I can see something”, Matt advised. Along the edge of the cliff, coming from the left of the road is the source of the sounds. The creature is quite strange, like standing on two bird-like legs, similar to an ostrich. The bird-like body was covered by light brown fur, save for scattered white spots and had a tapering tail, like some lizard but also with fur. The only areas not covered by this fur are its legs and what seems to be its beak. When it got closer, I came to make out its appearance. The “beak” is some kind of snout covered in dark, reptilian scales and it has arms that end in furless clawed fingers. I knew what it was, and it was frightening as it was confusing.
“Matt, come back. That is a dinosaur”, I yelled, hopefully persuading Matt of his curiosity. As soon as I said that, the creature stopped.
“Dinosaur? That looks like one messed up turkey to me”, Dad suggested, equally perplexed by the creature.
“Hey, Matt, come back! We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not”, Mom insisted, with more concern than either of us.
“But it’s not doing anything bad. It looks cool”, Matt said, not even concerned about this weird creature.
“Listen to your mother, Matt”, Dad hollered, in agreement with me and my Mom.
“Oh, come on, we could make him do some tricks.” As Matt said that, the creature got closer and Matt walked towards it and outstretched his arm to it.
“Matt! Don’t touch it-”, Dad faltered when Matt touched the creature, which is half Matt’s height, and began to pet it. The creature then began to purr, like a cat but more bird-like.
“See, not so dangerous. Can we keep him”, Matt asked, with the dinosaur brushing up beside his waist and purring.
“No, we can’t. We don’t know what it is”, Mom pleaded and I do agree.
“Oh, please, I promise I will take care of him. It’ll be the coolest pet ever.” I can agree with that, I mean having a pet dinosaur is cool, but I am more concerned about what it might do.
“I think it’s a bad idea”, I yelled to Matt.
“No, it won’t. Please”, Matt begged. We all looked at each other and Dad gave out a deep breath, with vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Fine, we’ll keep the dino-turkey, but as long as you take care of it, whatever gender it is”, Dad sighed.
“Yes! Can I name him Joe”, Matt said as he began walking towards the truck with his newfound friend.
“Joe? We don’t even know if it’s even a boy.”
“I don’t care. I want him to be a boy”, Matt protested.
“I guess Joe it is”, Mom said as she turned to Dad with a look of regret.
“I guess we have a family pet now”, I said under my breath to no one. We then went back to the truck and I sat in. Dad went to the driver’s seat as usual and Mom in the passenger. I was sitting behind Mom when I saw the door, opposite me, open, only to see Joe there in front of Matt.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my family”, Matt beamed when he picked him up. I can see Joe’s face more clearly. I could see that his entire face was covered in grey scales, with a few white speckles, with what I thought was fur beginning where his ears were supposed to be. Joe looked at me with a bird-like expression with his bird-like eyes. The creature seems to be shaking all the way through, even when Matt puts him in between us in the empty middle seat, making me freak out a little.
“Why are you putting it beside me”, I shuddered. “Did you make sure he doesn’t have rabies?”
“Don’t worry, he’s just cold”, Matt reassured. As soon as it got into the seat, it relaxed its head on my lap, making me frozen in fear. In surprise, Joe began to purr.
“What is he doing”, I asked.
“I think he likes you. You can pet him if you want. He’s harmless”, Matt assured. I then cautiously took my hand out and touched his brow area. It felt cold and reptilian, and I moved my hand towards his fur. I realised they were feathers, not quite like a bird, like fuzzier. I stroked across his spine and he was cold. Matt then covered the feathered creature’s body with a blanket.
“What should we do now”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe take another route”, Mom responded. Dad then started the truck and turned it around.
“The rural roads would be hell. Maybe go to Earl Grey, and see if there is anything there.”
“Hopefully not like Bulyea.” Dad then looked at his rear-view mirror to look at Matt.
“Hey, do you know what, uh, Joe eats”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know”, Matt said, with a look like he doesn’t know.
“I mean, he has to eat something”, I said, now more comfortable with Joe. I lifted his lips to see a series of fangs lining his jaw. Joe didn’t take that too kindly and nudged. As he did that, he rolled to his side to reveal his hands. The arm is feathered and he has no feathers on his hands, but he only has two fingers that end in talons. “What, why does he only have two fingers”, I asked.
“Maybe a genetic defect. Like my cat Fluffy with his extra thumbs”, Mom suggested.
“Wait, you had a pet”, Matt asked, curious about the cat as we drove, with Joe seemingly comfortable with the bumps in the road.
“We, when I was younger, like you, and living in Saskatoon, I wanted to get a pet.” Mom explained as she looked at Joe. “Well, not quite like you have. Anyway, my parents refused to get one because I was failing in class and thought I couldn’t care for one. One day, I think a snowstorm was happening. I was walking down a street, fighting against the snow. I stumbled upon a box, covered in a blanket lying on the sidewalk. I looked inside and I saw kittens”, she said, her eyes glossy.
“Sadly, most of them died in the cold, except for one. An orange, fluffy kitten, fighting for its life. I took it, put it into my jacket and took it home. I entered our house and the kitten was fine, but my parents were furious. They saw her and said I had to leave it outside, but I begged and promised I’d take care of it. They said we could keep the kitten, as long I kept the grades up. So, I named him Fluffy, because he’s fluffy.”
“Where is he now? Why is he not here”, Matt questioned.
“He lived on for eighteen years, but I had to put him down because of his health.”
“Why didn’t you buy another cat”, I prodded.
“We just couldn’t afford it, we don’t have enough income. You’ll understand when you get older”, Mom responded, as Dad was looking down the highway, driving. I looked down and Joe was sleeping. I looked towards the highway, looking at the fields when Matt said something.
“I need to go to the bathroom”, he said, holding at his groin. I also need to go to relieve myself, but Matt called it first.
“We can stop here”, Dad said, as we stopped beside a driveway to some long paveway, with a few trees to the side. I recognized it through our trips to Regina: we have arrived at Gibbs. Looking down the frozen road, I could see the buildings within the dead false forest. I took this moment to speak my urge.
“Yeah, I need to go, too”, I declared. Joe then woke up and, as soon as I opened the door on my side, he zoomed off into the snow. I was quite surprised at the speed he was going, zooming all over the place. Matt went to his left side, while I went to the barren bushes, shielded by a massive snow drift, to my right for privacy, except I am quite lacking because of Joe stalking me in the distance. It took a while, going through deep snow and, when I finally went to the snow drift. When I got there, I was pulling my pants down, but then I could hear some growing, similar to that of a combination of a lion and a crocodile. Where is that coming from? Never mind, it might be Joe, I thought.
“Go away, Joe”, I said, thinking it was Joe, seemingly angry at something. Nervous, I finally got to business, a little slow because of Joe nearby. I then heard the growl again. This time, I looked up and saw Joe, but he wasn’t growling. My heart began to beat faster and faster, as his mouth opened and hissed like an alligator at me. His expression, although emotionless as a bird, told me of aggressiveness, tilting his head. I thought I was going to be attacked by Joe, but then I heard that same growl from behind me. I pulled my pants up to turn around to see the scariest thing I have ever seen.
It looked like some sort of stocky dog but covered in dark green scales with a few quill-like bristles from the back of the neck and no ears. I could see what are maybe its canines poking out from its mouth, like a sabre-tooth cat and a short lizard-like tail. It looked more reptile than, well, dog really except for its eyes. I could see the hunger in its eyes. I heard more growling to my other side and saw another of those things. Joe began making that baby crocodile noise and we ran to the truck. I turned around and ran.
“Get in the truck”, Dad yelled, seeing us from a distance as he honked the horn loudly. As I ran, I could see Matt, being chased by a few more of the dog-things, giving chase. Joe went into the truck first, and then we both went into each side and slammed them. Dad then sped off very quickly, scared they may get to us.
“What was that”, I panted, confused.
“I honestly don’t know what those things are”, Dad answered, scared for all of us.
“I want to go home”, Matt pleaded, tired from running away from those things.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon. I promise”, Mom reassured.
“Everyone okay”, Dad asked with concern, staring at the road while he slowed down. We all looked at each other in fearful confusion, even Joe. I looked at Joe, and he then looked at me. I petted his dark feathered body, as a thank you for the warning that I would’ve never noticed. “Okay, we are moving on”, Dad concluded. We sat in silence, although I was still petting Joe.
“Hey, Matt, do you know what dinosaur he is”, I asked Matt.
“I don’t know. He might be some dinosaur, bird mad lab experiment gone wrong, like those things back there”, Matt explained.
“Or some mess-up chicken in a lab”, Dad suggested, still looking at the road.
“I don’t think he was a chicken”, Matt rebutted. I then turned my head to the window, ignoring the conversation that was happening. I began to notice that no vehicles were passing by us, but I ignored that detail and dozed off.
I saw those same lights in the dark vision of my closed eyes. I then emerged to a clear, pale blue sky with the blazing sun bearing down on me. Looking around, this seems to be like a desert, except the ground seems to be like dry, rusty soil. It feels hot here, hotter than one of those summers in my former town. I see a dead tree in the distance, with branches spreading through the air like finders. I heard a sound behind me.
“Wake up! We are here”, Matt said as he shook me awake. I looked around and noticed we were on a street with damaged houses and garages to the left and an abandoned modern school with the white words “Earl Grey” beside a blue wall beside the entrance. The school lies hiding behind a metal fence with dead trees behind it. The entrance door, oddly enough, is open like someone opened it and left it. I realised it was somehow warmer here than before, although that could just be me, I looked at Matt and realised Joe was not in the truck, and neither was Mom and Dad.
“Hey, where’s Mom and Dad”, I asked Matt.
“Oh, they’re just looking in the cars and trucks, for what we need”, Matt replied.
“And Joe?”
“Oh, just running across the road.” Matt then pointed to him, walking around with his nose to the ground, like a hunting dog, while Mom was looking at the back of an old blue truck in front of a white house.
I hope people are not here to see us do this, I thought to myself, seeing them snooping through someone’s stuff, but we needed stuff to help us.
“Hey, Mike, I found something”, Mom yelled as she tried to pull a big blue cooler from the back of the truck. Dad then came from an RV down from the truck and came and helped her. He then put it down on the road and opened it. They both plugged their noses and backed away.
“Fish? Who leaves fish in a cooler in the back of a truck”, Dad gagged. Joe then looked up, seemingly in excitement and ran towards the cooler. He stuck his nose in the cooler and pulled out a pike. He plopped it on the road, his foot stepped on the fish and put his mouth onto it, tearing a piece of it and swallowing it. “At least somebody likes rotten fish”, Dad rasped.
As we looked in surprise, we could hear something from the school. The minute we heard it, a loud boar-like roar came out from the school. We thought it was a very big boar when it came out, but the more we looked, the more we realised it was something else. Its body is like a boar, but its face is like a lion’s and the snout of a camel, with teeth somewhat like a bear’s when it opens its enormous mouth to gargle like a pig. Mom, Dad and even Joe are taken by surprise, making our parents run towards the driveway, while Joe towards our truck with his gorged fish, standing by us. The boar-thing then stopped a few feet away from my parents, seemingly in a defensive stance, hooves scratching the ground. We are scared for our parents, preparing to see this thing rip them to shreds.
It gave one last roar and walked towards the cooler, knocking it over with fish spilling out. It stuck its snout in the fish and swallowed one down. They then slowly walked around the creature and steadily fastened their pace until they were at the truck. We all quickly got in and Dad backed up quickly.
“What the hell was that”, Mom panicked.
“I don’t know, a pig from hell”, Dad responded. We looked at Joe, swallowing down the fish while the rotting fish smell remained. It looked at us in confusion, as we were. We silently laughed for no apparent reason, probably as a mechanism to try to replace the fear. We then heard a shaking in the truck, startling us. We realised that the hell pig was tearing at the bumper of the truck like a lion would. Dad hammered the horn, making the thing back up in surprise. Dad took this opportunity to back up very quickly towards the intersection and turned to the left, quickly avoiding the creature. We sat in silence, except for Joe who was chirping.
When we went down the street, the houses, as usual, were damaged but we saw other vehicles, the first we had seen. Some were parked along the street, others stuck on one lane like city traffic but paused. Weirdly enough, there are no people in the vehicles, nor anyone outside. Most of the vehicles have one or more doors open like people got out to go somewhere. We drove past all the vehicles in the other lane. There is one vehicle we passed by that is on fire, most of the paint already off to reveal the metal beneath, only to be turned into a rainbow of browns and blacks by the dancing flames.
“What. Happened. Here”, Mom slowly asked, as confused and terrified as us. We had a feeling of dread, seeing all the abandoned vehicles.
“That’s the least of our worries. We should be looking for supplies”, Dad responded.
“Hey, how much do we have”, Mom asked Dad, worried about using up the fuel.
“Well, we got a full tank of gas and travelled a hundred kilometers”, Dad responded, more confused. “Nothing makes sense here and I hope we don’t stay here for long”, he muttered.
Eventually, we passed most of the vehicles and reached the veterinary clinic. The small, intact structure stood there, seemingly looking over the icy driveway. We then spotted an old, brown truck and we saw something that set it apart from the rest of the vehicles we’ve seen so far.
“It’s on”, I said, gleefully, with hope that, at least, we aren’t the only ones here. The headlights beamed brightly, and we realised it was getting dark. We also noticed that the street lights aren’t turning on.
“I thought there was no one here”, my Mom said, unsure of the connection between the abandoned but running truck and the lack of people in this town. At one of the intact houses, ahead of us, partially blocked by the trees, we saw what seemed to be bright light coming from one of the windows. What person would go into a house after an earthquake, I thought, thinking about our house back home.
“Someone’s here”, Matt loudly notified, as we all shushed him and that is when Joe is trying to push the door with his snout. “What is he doing?”
“Stay here”, Dad calmly ordered, opening the door, but Joe scurried out and went somewhere else.
“Hey, come back”, Matt called out, with no success. Joe eventually disappeared into the night, never to be seen. Matt then had tears welling up in his eyes like he was about to cry. I hugged him to comfort him.
“He’ll come back some time”, Mom reassured, trying to calm him down and looking at Dad. Dad nodded and grabbed a flashlight that was equipped in the truck. He then walked slowly towards the house, step by step, being shone by our truck’s headlights. He looked back at us and put his hand up when the light in the house moved. It seems to move towards the front door of the house. Emerging from the house is a person walking down the steps, cloaked in darkness. Dad then took a few steps back as the figure came. Finally, the figure stepped into the light.

I thought this would be interesting to share here: I suffered pretty bad postpartum depression after my baby was born, and the Dan was one of the only things that seemed to help me at the time. I was curious about this, and I asked Chat GPT to explain what, specifically, about Steely Dan's music would be helpful in this regard. The explanation is:
There are several aspects of Steely Dan's music that might make it particularly soothing and uplifting for someone experiencing postpartum depression:

1. Complex Arrangements and Harmonies: Steely Dan is renowned for their sophisticated musical compositions. Their songs often feature jazz-influenced structures, complex chord progressions, and meticulous production. This level of musical complexity can be mentally engaging and stimulating, which might help distract from distressing thoughts or provide a mental 'lift' by engaging different parts of the brain.
2. Smooth Sound and Polished Production: The polished sound of Steely Dan, characterized by clean, precise instrumentals and smooth vocals, can be inherently soothing. The calming effect of smooth, well-produced music might help alleviate anxiety and promote relaxation.
3. Cryptic and Intellectual Lyrics: The lyrics of Steely Dan are known for being cryptic, witty, and often laced with irony and sarcasm. Engaging with these lyrics can provide intellectual stimulation and a sense of connection, which might be especially helpful when feeling isolated or disconnected due to depression.
4. Themes of Disillusionment and Cynicism: Many Steely Dan songs explore themes of disillusionment, cynicism, and critique of societal norms. For someone struggling with the emotional and mental challenges of postpartum depression, these themes might resonate on a personal level, validating feelings of disorientation or dissatisfaction with societal expectations.
5. Nostalgia and Personal Connection: If their music has been part of your life before, the nostalgia associated with it can also play a significant role. Familiar tunes can evoke memories of better times or provide a sense of continuity and stability, which is comforting during periods of emotional turmoil.

In essence, the combination of Steely Dan's complex music, thoughtful lyrics, and smooth sound could act as both a distraction from and a mirror to your feelings, offering both escape and empathy. This dual role can be particularly potent in lifting the fog of postpartum depression, making their music a powerful ally in your recovery.

Dear Reddit community,
I need some relationship life advice.
I (23 female) am currently involved with a 27 (male) partner. I love him and he loves me, but I often wonder if our relationship is worth continuing. Half the time we are each others' best friend and lovers and we get along amazingly... however the other half of the time we argue over the stupidest things and the arguments go round and round in circles for a while (and I'm not joking, we argue SO fucking much). To give an example, just this past weekend I drove up to see him as well as celebrate his friends' family visiting from South America (we are long distance) and on the car ride there, I ask if we are staying in his motorhome he has there. He wouldn't give me a straight answer and I was wanting to know so that 1) we could save money instead of going to a hotel 2) we wouldn't have to worry about checkout times 3) I wanted to know where the hell I was driving to! Instead of giving me a straight answer about why he preferred to stay at a hotel, he went round in circles and got upset that I was asking. We eventually figured that argument out and it turns out he didn't want to stay in the motorhome because he still needed to clean it and he didn't want to welcome me in that kind of environment (the next day we went to his motorhome so I could help him organise).
That same night when we're celebrating his friend and her family, he starts smoking his friend's vape and is attached to it pretty much the whole night. Obviously it is his choice what he does with his body, but it sucks when your partner tells you he quite vaping/smoking and then as soon as he has the opportunity he picks it right back up again and blames his friends for his vaping problem. The group was playing some fun Brazilian music to dance to, and so I go up to my partner to ask him to dance with me and I playfully try to push the vape away from his hand (he was just sitting there vaping). I didn't slap his hand, I didn't forcefully take it away from him, I wasn't disrespectful in anyway - I was just trying to be playful and was hoping he would put it down and dance with me. I allowed my expectations to upset me. I was expecting/hoping that he would put it down and dance with me. Instead, he was like "not now babe" and reaches for another hit of nicotine. I got upset by this because we haven't seen each other in over a month, we only have a few hours together, and first he gets weird/upset about the motorhome thing and then it feels like he chooses spending time with the vape over dancing with the person he calls the love of his life. (and maybe I am overreacting with this particular situation, it just hurts watching him hurt his health like that then blame his friends and it feels like my partner has no self control when it comes to that kind of stuff).
That was Friday. On Sunday morning, his alarm went off at 6 am which of course also woke me up. He started getting up/moving around/making a bunch of noise, and I try asking him what's going on. No response. I ask again and I ask "Do we really need to be awake at 6?" because in my mind his flight back to his state isn't until the afternoon and I was the one taking him to the airport so do I need to start getting ready too?? like why are you up so early? can you please explain what is happening? Like the motorhome situation - in which he would not clearly explain what was going on - he just got mad at me saying I was tripping about the alarm and that I shouldn't ask him questions in that kind of tone of voice (what tone of voice?!?!?). He just started getting so upset that I asked if we needed to be up at that time and I was so confused by his response because it really didn't seem fair to me. When he got back in bed I did not want to be touched by him - I was so sad that I feel like I can't even ask my partner simple questions without him getting upset. He tried to go on explaining why I shouldn't ask questions like that and justifying his response. I get first thing in the morning after not much sleep people can be a little cranky, but dude to tell me I'm tripping and then evading my one question/getting defensive? not cool to me. After it's clear I'm not buying his response, he apologises and asks me to forgive his reaction, which I do and we're back to being fine. That day before dropping him at the airport, we drop off some his clothes we organised at the donation centre and then he realises he can't find his car or motorhome keys. so we spend the whole time before the airport with me driving him around to various locations to find his keys, we search my whole car, he has me search my entire bag... we can't find the fucking keys anywhere. But we were both like, no worries, they will show up somewhere. And we had a good time about it. No arguments, no complaints, he was grateful that I was helping him with his shit.
The next morning I find them in my car and I send him a picture with "omg babe, guess what I just found!" and instead of being relieved/happy that I found them, he BLAMES ME for not having seen the keys before. to be clear, I never once touched his motorhome keys. I had no idea until Sunday morning that we would even be looking for them. He blames ME for HIM losing HIS keys. I wouldn't take that shit from him. Then he went on saying that I need to "centre myself," that he has a right to feel the way he does blah blah, and sure he has a right to feel whatever he desires, but he has no right to blame me for anything! especially after I spent a good amount of time and fuel helping him do things he should've figured out on his own a long time ago and it is so easy to ship him the keys. not a big problem at all. and when I sent the key picture, he had a New York bottle opener on the keychain, and I was like "oh cool! Have you been to New York??" with the intention of getting to know my partner better - I think it's could he potentially took a trip there and I was asking in a light hearted way and his response (over voice message) was a sarcastic "yeah babe, I go there every weekend." Again, I don't understand this response. I don't understand why my question was so bad and why he felt like avoiding it? Maybe he was stressed about the whole key situation/ feeling jet lagged from the flight. But still. it sucked. I basically told him that I wouldn't take this shit from him that he cannot blame me and not take ownership of his own shit.
I just don't understand. I also have such a hard time leaving him. I tried before in the past - I felt pressured to move to Florida with him; he talked a lot about moving into together, having kids, etc etc and it was just moving too fast for me and I felt like I needed to leave because I can't give those things to him right now and it's not fair if that is something he wants and for me to stay in the relationship wanting different things at the moment. He convinces me to stay with him, saying he can wait for those things, but doesn't want to lose me. I stayed.
I'm just sooooo tired of these arguments! I'm tired of feeling like I can't ask basic questions without him getting upset. I'm tired of being made out to be the bad guy when I'm clearly not at fault. I'm tired of feeling like I acquiesce to him. I sometimes feel like he needs me more than I need him and I don't want to be his mother cleaning up after him/keeping track of his shit and then getting blamed when I don't know where HIS things are.
And we have silly arguments like this so much in the past too. I feel like maybe I'm deluding myself thinking that when we are together for longing periods of time that we won't argue so much - that it's the stress of travel that causes us to bicker. or that I'm holding on to the really good parts of the relationship where we make each other laugh so hard and we can meaningful conversations. I worry that if we do someday have kids that they won't be able to come to him without him getting upset/weird/non-communicative. *sigh* what do I do? I know I just talked about the arguments of this past weekend so this post feels a little biased. But I feel stuck. Part of feels like maybe I should leave him, but the other part of me sticks it out. Am I secretly addicted to the drama? Or maybe I don't have a strong enough will

Dear Reddit community,
I need some relationship life advice.
I '23/F' am currently involved with a '27/M' partner for a year now. I love him and he loves me, but I often wonder if our relationship is worth continuing. Half the time we are each others' best friend and lovers and we get along amazingly... however the other half of the time we argue over the stupidest things and the arguments go round and round in circles for a while (and I'm not joking, we argue SO fucking much). To give an example, just this past weekend I drove up to see him as well as celebrate his friends' family visiting from South America (we are long distance) and on the car ride there, I ask if we are staying in his motorhome he has there. He wouldn't give me a straight answer and I was wanting to know so that 1) we could save money instead of going to a hotel 2) we wouldn't have to worry about checkout times 3) I wanted to know where the hell I was driving to! Instead of giving me a straight answer about why he preferred to stay at a hotel, he went round in circles and got upset that I was asking. We eventually figured that argument out and it turns out he didn't want to stay in the motorhome because he still needed to clean it and he didn't want to welcome me in that kind of environment (the next day we went to his motorhome so I could help him organise).
That same night when we're celebrating his friend and her family, he starts smoking his friend's vape and is attached to it pretty much the whole night. Obviously it is his choice what he does with his body, but it sucks when your partner tells you he quite vaping/smoking and then as soon as he has the opportunity he picks it right back up again and blames his friends for his vaping problem. The group was playing some fun Brazilian music to dance to, and so I go up to my partner to ask him to dance with me and I playfully try to push the vape away from his hand (he was just sitting there vaping). I didn't slap his hand, I didn't forcefully take it away from him, I wasn't disrespectful in anyway - I was just trying to be playful and was hoping he would put it down and dance with me. I allowed my expectations to upset me. I was expecting/hoping that he would put it down and dance with me. Instead, he was like "not now babe" and reaches for another hit of nicotine. I got upset by this because we haven't seen each other in over a month, we only have a few hours together, and first he gets weird/upset about the motorhome thing and then it feels like he chooses spending time with the vape over dancing with the person he calls the love of his life. (and maybe I am overreacting with this particular situation, it just hurts watching him hurt his health like that then blame his friends and it feels like my partner has no self control when it comes to that kind of stuff).
That was Friday. On Sunday morning, his alarm went off at 6 am which of course also woke me up. He started getting up/moving around/making a bunch of noise, and I try asking him what's going on. No response. I ask again and I ask "Do we really need to be awake at 6?" because in my mind his flight back to his state isn't until the afternoon and I was the one taking him to the airport so do I need to start getting ready too?? like why are you up so early? can you please explain what is happening? Like the motorhome situation - in which he would not clearly explain what was going on - he just got mad at me saying I was tripping about the alarm and that I shouldn't ask him questions in that kind of tone of voice (what tone of voice?!?!?). He just started getting so upset that I asked if we needed to be up at that time and I was so confused by his response because it really didn't seem fair to me. When he got back in bed I did not want to be touched by him - I was so sad that I feel like I can't even ask my partner simple questions without him getting upset. He tried to go on explaining why I shouldn't ask questions like that and justifying his response. I get first thing in the morning after not much sleep people can be a little cranky, but dude to tell me I'm tripping and then evading my one question/getting defensive? not cool to me. After it's clear I'm not buying his response, he apologises and asks me to forgive his reaction, which I do and we're back to being fine. That day before dropping him at the airport, we drop off some his clothes we organised at the donation centre and then he realises he can't find his car or motorhome keys. so we spend the whole time before the airport with me driving him around to various locations to find his keys, we search my whole car, he has me search my entire bag... we can't find the fucking keys anywhere. But we were both like, no worries, they will show up somewhere. And we had a good time about it. No arguments, no complaints, he was grateful that I was helping him with his shit.
The next morning I find them in my car and I send him a picture with "omg babe, guess what I just found!" and instead of being relieved/happy that I found them, he BLAMES ME for not having seen the keys before. to be clear, I never once touched his motorhome keys. I had no idea until Sunday morning that we would even be looking for them. He blames ME for HIM losing HIS keys. I wouldn't take that shit from him. Then he went on saying that I need to "centre myself," that he has a right to feel the way he does blah blah, and sure he has a right to feel whatever he desires, but he has no right to blame me for anything! especially after I spent a good amount of time and fuel helping him do things he should've figured out on his own a long time ago and it is so easy to ship him the keys. not a big problem at all. and when I sent the key picture, he had a New York bottle opener on the keychain, and I was like "oh cool! Have you been to New York??" with the intention of getting to know my partner better - I think it's could he potentially took a trip there and I was asking in a light hearted way and his response (over voice message) was a sarcastic "yeah babe, I go there every weekend." Again, I don't understand this response. I don't understand why my question was so bad and why he felt like avoiding it? Maybe he was stressed about the whole key situation/ feeling jet lagged from the flight. But still. it sucked. I basically told him that I wouldn't take this shit from him that he cannot blame me and not take ownership of his own shit.
I just don't understand. I also have such a hard time leaving him. I tried before in the past - I felt pressured to move to Florida with him; he talked a lot about moving into together, having kids, etc etc and it was just moving too fast for me and I felt like I needed to leave because I can't give those things to him right now and it's not fair if that is something he wants and for me to stay in the relationship wanting different things at the moment. He convinces me to stay with him, saying he can wait for those things, but doesn't want to lose me. I stayed.
I'm just sooooo tired of these arguments! I'm tired of feeling like I can't ask basic questions without him getting upset. I'm tired of being made out to be the bad guy when I'm clearly not at fault. I'm tired of feeling like I acquiesce to him. I sometimes feel like he needs me more than I need him and I don't want to be his mother cleaning up after him/keeping track of his shit and then getting blamed when I don't know where HIS things are.
And we have silly arguments like this so much in the past too. I feel like maybe I'm deluding myself thinking that when we are together for longing periods of time that we won't argue so much - that it's the stress of travel that causes us to bicker. or that I'm holding on to the really good parts of the relationship where we make each other laugh so hard and we can meaningful conversations.
I worry that if we do someday have kids that they won't be able to come to him without him getting upset/weird/non-communicative. *sigh* what do I do? I know I just talked about the arguments of this past weekend so this post feels a little biased. But I feel stuck. Part of feels like maybe I should leave him, but the other part of me sticks it out. Am I secretly addicted to the drama? Or maybe I don't have a strong enough will

These are completely random quotes 😂 But I think some of them might be underrated let's give them some shine
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I’ve been working at a mid-sized software company for the last six years. It was my first job out of university, and I’ve enjoyed my time here immensely. I was also fortunate enough to be in line for a promotion when my former department head was about to retire, and the bosses upstairs decided that I would be a fine choice for his old position.
About eight months ago, the company hired a young woman, Shauna. Shauna was hired fresh out of university, just like me.
I didn’t know what it was, but from her very first day at the company, Shauna seemed to truly dislike me. Despite the fact that I outranked her, she never treated me with an ounce of respect, would flat-out ignore me when I talked to her, and would interrupt me when I was talking to someone else.
Well, last Friday, my workplace was having a little after-work gathering. Both Shauna and I tagged along, although I did notice her intentionally sit at the opposite end of the table from me. Well, the conversation turned to how we got hired, and everyone told their story. When it was my turn I started explaining my process, and Shauna interrupted me, sarcastically saying, “step one: be the company owner’s relative.” Everyone was incredibly confused, including me.
I asked Shauna what she meant, and she snappily responded “Yeah, enough from the nepo baby.” I finally figured it out at that point. The company owner and I share the same last name. It’s in the top 20 last names in the USA, so it’s not exactly a huge coincidence, but Shauna assumed that I was hired/promoted because I was his son, nephew, or something.
I loudly out, “Dude, you think I’m related to the owner? Is this why you’ve hated me all this time?” The woman next to her explained that the owner and I aren’t related in any way, shape, or form, and Shauna kind of laughed about it. Then I said, “Yeah, that’s also rich coming from a diversity hire.” Shauna got really upset about this, and 10 minutes later excused herself.
The other women at the table said that I went too far, to which I answered that I was treated like dirt for eight months because she was too stupid to consider the possibility of our identical last names being a coincidence. Shauna called in sick today.
Was I the asshole here?

My (30) husband (30) has a habit of eating the last of grocery items and not telling me. This has happened 4 times in the past week and I was really frustrated about it tonight and told him to start asking me if I would like some before finishing something, and tell me if we’re out of something so I know to buy more. He sarcastically said back that he’ll be sure “ask permission” in the future and is now trying to press my buttons by telling me all the things he’s going to eat this week.
To start, I do all of the grocery shopping. We got in a fight earlier last week about this exact same thing. I had bought a bag of avocados on sale a week earlier and when I went to eat one they were all gone. This was after maybe 5 days of buying them so that is awhile, but I’m annoyed I didn’t get a single avocado. I don’t usually buy them because they’re expensive so I was looking forward to it. Then I went grocery shopping with a plan in mind to make a stew with some frozen squash we had. Came home it turns out he ate all the squash. I told him them to tell me when he finishes something.
Now today, I go to grab some halloumi and it’s all gone. I bought 3 packs that contained 2 burgers a pack last week. They were on sale, so again, an item I wouldn’t normally splurge on and was excited to eat, and I didn’t get a single piece. He ate 6 halloumi burgers without sharing. I was annoyed and went to go make yogurt with granola instead (bought 2 bags last week, again, on sale)…. Completely gone. I got one serving (1/4 cup) and he has eaten all the rest without telling me.
My main points of frustration are that 1. He doesn’t tell me we’re out 2. He doesn’t ask if I want any before finishing it 3. He seems to eat the expensive and good things we buy, upping grocery prices, and then complains to me that I’m spending too much on groceries. Avocados and halloumi are no longer on sale so I guess I will not be getting either for awhile. 4. Instead of just apologizing and agreeing to tell me when we’re out, he is smug and basically trying to push my buttons
I’m also on a lot of hormones for medical reasons right now so not sure if I’m being over dramatic or not.
TLDR: husband eats all of the expensive grocery items without sharing, telling me when we’re out, and then complains groceries are expensive. What can I do?