My (29F) brother (26M) has no clear direction in life. He has blown through 4 college programs and has not completed any of them. If he lived in any other family, he would have racked up so much debt for education he is not using.
My brother works at a coffee shop making minimum wage, under 40 hours per week. He has been there for nearly 10 years. He has ADHD and is likely on the spectrum. Since childhood, he has always exhibited social difficulties, challenges with relationships, social awkwardness, social anxiety and vocal/body stimming. If he is not working, he is in his room gaming. It has been like this for years. He has no social life, no friends, no desire to get his driver’s licence, and no goals for himself. He is oblivious to his future and what it looks like. I have tried writing him a resume so he can look for an entry level jobs that only require a high school education. Getting relevant information is like pulling teeth. I keep asking him about some community work he did in his early twenties and he keeps saying he’ll send it over to me but he doesn’t.
My parents, who have been divorced since I was 10, should have sat down to talk about my brother years ago. But now shit is hitting the fan. My mom and stepdad are currently working with a contracting company to build a house that they will retire in. My stepdad does not want his stepson, my brother, to move in with them. He believes that if he moves in with them, my brother will never leave. This has brought up fights and talks about them breaking up. They have been together for over a decade.
We don’t see much of my dad, maybe birthdays and holidays, and I’m usually the one to reach out to him. He drives to our area all the time for his extracurriculars, but doesn’t really ask to see us. I don’t think he sees the gravity of my brother’s situation because he hardly asks how we’re doing. He cares much for the fun things in his life, and I guess considering my brother does the same, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
I’m planning on moving out in early September with my boyfriend, at least that is the goal. I have already lived on my own for most of the pandemic. I moved back in late September 2023 because my ex left and I was in financial constraints due to a family member needing to borrow money.
I hate writing all this, but I am at an utter loss. I’ve watched both parents, with their own families, take on the burden of being the glue that holds everything together. I feel like that cycle is moving onto me as I overheard my stepdad suggest that my brother lives with me. I don’t know what he expects me to do. I have made suggestions to my dad about how to handle things, and it doesn’t get taken seriously. I feel like I have to be the bad guy and give them a harsh, overdue reality check.
I made a similar post about a year ago and had to delete it. So many people called my brother useless. Despite my frustrations, I still love my brother dearly. But I lose sleep over this. Is there even anything I can do?

it's been a few years that i have been questioning my sexuality. There's been a point where i tought that i might be bi or pan since i didn't really care if i got in a relationship Who they were gonna be, but recently i saw jaiden animations video about her explaining her sexuality and it was THE video i have ever felt the most "rapresented" in, the part where even her thought that she was bi or pan becouse of an equal disinterest and after i looked at the comments i saw more and more people that i felt close to. I always said that i was straight growing up but i didn't really care if i got in a relationship or not, i tought it was just something that happened to people and i should search for one, in the last like 6 months i looked more and more around to find something that i could at least relate and that video is the one thing i found so now im more condused then ever

hello ✨
so my life is and has always been a mess. i don't ever feel happy for more than a few hours, i don't know how it feels to wake up in the morning and be happy with my existence. i also don't know how it feels to take a simple walk or to go somewhere you have to go without feeling like people are judging you.
i've always wanted to die (still do) already, to get rid of everything. like always wanted to get a fatal disease or simply die in my sleep. because all i wanted in this life was to feel happy and normal and it never happened.
anyway, sorry for the rant.
i posted here a long time ago about my loud neighbors who KNOW they're disturbing everyone but they keep doing their thing (in the morning and especially at night until 11 pm). someone gave me a few subliminals and in a few months my downstairs neighbor moved. he wasn't one of the loud neighbors but he was a pain in the ass as well and always had anxiety when he was nearby. so it helped someway and i guess i shouldn't have stopped listening.
the thing is, this is kinda the only type of subliminal that worked for me. but im trying my best to keep believing.
again, sorry for the long explanation but i feel like i needed to share the way i feel before asking for subliminals.
so, i need subliminals that gave you results. subliminals that YOU tried and gave results.
i need a subliminal for:
✨ money (i don't care about being rich. i just wanna be able to buy stuff that i need without thinking 1827272 times before buying it and feeling bad after)
✨ carelessness (im very sensitive and everything makes me cry. i want to be tough and not care about anything anymore. i know some people complain about feeling numb and empty but this is exactly how i want to feel like. im tired of intense feelings. im tired of feelings as a whole. they never brought me something good. just annoying tears and overreactions.)
✨ gaming friends (because im very introverted and socially anxious, i spend a lot of time at home playing. i made friends on my specific game that i play that i still talk to.​ i need more of that. i love having friends from different countries. and with my growing depression i feel like i lost that ability.)
✨ exam results (exams season is coming. i have a big problem with procrastinating. but this semester i need maximum grades so i can get a scholarship again. 2 of my exams are presentations. obviously, i will try to study but i feel like i need more than that...)​
✨ clear, healthy skin (my skin type is dry. i can't use products with fragrance and i fucking hate it so much. i wish i could use vanilla lotions and stuff and feeling good about myself but no. of course not.)
✨ crush (it's a long story and i don't wanna give details. but we're no contact because i decided it's better to stay away. my mental health is shit and honestly i don't think he'd ever fall in love with me the way i did with him. but... he's always on my mind and i just wish i had a chance to get closer to him. i don't want this subliminal to make him obsessed with me or to like me because that wouldn't be genuine. i just wish i had a chance to show him who i am when my mind is not clouded by my depression)
✨ i don't wanna come across as insufferable. (as i said, i always feel like people are judging me. i don't want to make them love me. i just wanna seem friendly and with positive energy. that's all.)
✨ becoming someone i don't recognize (i want to look in the mirror one day and feel like it's not the old me. i don't wanna change my features, i just want this specific feeling. i hope it makes sense. im tired of myself and i've never loved myself. so maybe if i become someone else, i will be able to stand myself.)
✨ finally, moving and having a better life in another country. (my country is just going downhill at this point. not only that, but most people here are hateful, judgemental and ignorant. i've never felt good in my own country. i don't wanna move tomorrow but when i will be ready, i want the path to be clear. i want to become someone better before moving to another country. someone i couldn't be here)
im sorry for the long post. but if you listened to subliminals about one topic or even all of them, please share them with me. if they gave you results, of course.
i want to make a playlist. so there are gonna be already 9+ subliminals on it. i just hope it's not a problem.
thank you for reading 🥺

I know this sounds crazy but hear me out.
Roughly a year ago now I found out I was pregnant and told my management at work because I wanted them to be aware and let them know I would no longer be working the c0mb@tive/bariatric side of the building. The hall they kept me on mostly, was a hall with multiple physically aggre$$ive residents and multiple residents who were bariatric size. I do not mean like “plus size” I mean like 400+ pound people who refused to roll so you basically had to make them over with all your weight to change them. Prior to this I worked any where they needed me to but I was not willing to put my baby at risk. Fast forward, I ended up being put on that hall with a passive aggressive note on the schedule saying “do NOT switch.” I said something about being on the one group in the w whole building I refused to work and the RN supervisor said “it’s like that for a reason, we have four I’m not changing it” I said “that’s fine, you can go on ahead and regroup it for three because I’m leaving”. I went to the time clock, clocked out and left. I had not taken report so I was not liable for any residents. I was outside when the DON and the ED called me several times and requested I come back inside to discuss what the issues were. I went against my better judgement and went into the DON’s office. It was a literal disaster of a meeting with them to explain my side of things and why I wouldn’t be working that hall. I’m generally a pretty “let it be” type of person but I was already feeling emotional and over the entire situation. Not to mention this facility has done some pretty f*ked up sht. I ended up losing the baby and let’s just say that was an entire ordeal as well.
Fast forward to tonight, another cna is pregnant and is “nauseous”. They straight up let her leave the facility at 2 in the morning because she’s pregnant and sick. Where was this pity party for me when I was pregnant, willing to work (just not one hall) and not complaining because I was “sick” but because of an actual safety risk??? My anger was misdirected to the coworker a bit I realize that, my anger is more towards management for allowing this to happen in the first place. “Working with four” essentially means we have 25+ residents most of who are total care to 1 cna. So her leaving left us with four which also pssed me off. I’ve worked several times sick, not feeling up to par to keep my coworkers from having a shtty night.

For some background, I (19F) am midsize , and my face has been called cute by some. That said I am not very attractive by societal standards, but I am alright. However, I do not believe others enjoy my company because, on top of being okay-looking, I am awkward, callous, and a bit foolish. I believe this self-concept is ruining my relationships with others.
There are many times have I killed a person’s interest in me with my awkward stares and long periods of silence. It's not because I don't care for the conversation but I am trying to find the words that will be right given the relationship, environment, and boundaries. I'm unsure of most of the boundaries. I usually put the boundaries of others so strictly whereas if I were asked, the things I want to ask, I would answer.
I have lost the chance for many meaningful friendships because I often confuse platonic feelings with romantic ones. Whenever I have strong feelings, I am unsure of it being romantic so I close off and put up more boundaries because I don't want to be deceiving them. I start to question everything I do and say as if I have ulterior motives for interacting with them.
I wonder what could have been if I had shown the people I care about, that I do care about them. I find myself thinking back to memories of people who I didn't think cared about my existence. Yet every single memory shows signs that they were, I just didn't see them or maybe even believe them.
What worries me the most is if I will ever stop running away from the connections I so desperately crave. I have tried dating apps many times. I download and delete in a never-ending cycle. I have conversations with people that are truly divine yet I delete the app in the middle without an explanation. I get scared when they want to meet up because I still feel I am deceiving them. I feel as if they don't know my size or the way my face looks. And every time I delete the app I feel horrible for all the people I left hanging without an explanation because it is not as if they are a problem.
It truly hit me when I downloaded a dating app again and saw an ex-coworker. I vaguely remember seeing him on the app right before I started working at that company. However, I am unclear if I chatted with him because I only have a feeling and a hint of distant memories. The fact I didn't remember him and can't remember if we talked, even though in person, I was in awe of his beauty both inside and out is more than enough proof that I have a problem. (Honestly unsure if this is relevant but I just had to include it)
Thank you for reading :). If you've read this far I'd like to know if anyone else has dealt with a similar problem or maybe some help with changing my ways? Sorry if it's formatted weirdly. It's my first post and I was unsure where this would be best said.

I know this sounds crazy but hear me out.
Roughly a year ago now I found out I was pregnant and told my management at work because I wanted them to be aware and let them know I would no longer be working the c0mb@tive/bariatric side of the building. The hall they kept me on mostly, was a hall with multiple physically aggre$$ive residents and multiple residents who were bariatric size. I do not mean like “plus size” I mean like 400+ pound people who refused to roll so you basically had to make them over with all your weight to change them. Prior to this I worked any where they needed me to but I was not willing to put my baby at risk. Fast forward, I ended up being put on that hall with a passive aggressive note on the schedule saying “do NOT switch.” I said something about being on the one group in the w whole building I refused to work and the RN supervisor said “it’s like that for a reason, we have four I’m not changing it” I said “that’s fine, you can go on ahead and regroup it for three because I’m leaving”. I went to the time clock, clocked out and left. I had not taken report so I was not liable for any residents. I was outside when the DON and the ED called me several times and requested I come back inside to discuss what the issues were. I went against my better judgement and went into the DON’s office. It was a literal disaster of a meeting with them to explain my side of things and why I wouldn’t be working that hall. I’m generally a pretty “let it be” type of person but I was already feeling emotional and over the entire situation. Not to mention this facility has done some pretty f*ked up sht. I ended up losing the baby and let’s just say that was an entire ordeal as well.
Fast forward to tonight, another cna is pregnant and is “nauseous”. They straight up let her leave the facility at 2 in the morning because she’s pregnant and sick. Where was this pity party for me when I was pregnant, willing to work (just not one hall) and not complaining because I was “sick” but because of an actual safety risk??? My anger was misdirected to the coworker a bit I realize that, my anger is more towards management for allowing this to happen in the first place. “Working with four” essentially means we have 25+ residents most of who are total care to 1 cna. So her leaving left us with four which also pssed me off. I’ve worked several times sick, not feeling up to par to keep my coworkers from having a shtty night.

I had someone tell me that ttrpgs requiring effort isn't entirely true. It upset me because I've been in the hobby for near two decades, running as a gm for a little over a decade (a relatively short amount of time), and I have never once thought that way. I felt dismissed and invalidated.
Before we even get to sit down and begin playing there's dedicated effort spent on getting the group together.
First I find the people that are interested and can coordinate our schedules to sync up and play. Not a small task, especially if you're starting a new group.
Then I always do the optional sesh zero with anyone I haven't run a game for before. Being sensitive to stuff like domestic violence or sexual assault is important to me as ive seen first hand how hurtful it can be to impact someone that way. Explaining safety tools and setting expectations for behavior is key to finding the very simplest of common ground to build a foundation on.
Then I ask questions about the type of game we want to run/play together. Do we want episodic adventures or something more epic in scale lole lotr. Do the players want combat and loot to be the focus or just when narratively fitting? Is setting important? What about handwaiving resources or survival mechanics? Is there plot armor for our furry critter friends? Then I find system that fits into the style of game we're looking for.
Do I own a module that fits within the groups preferences or do I need to write it from the ground up(hours of effort to days of effort)? Do I need to edit it to fit the group? Yes. Do I need to re-edit it day of because someone can't make it? Maybe...
Let's say you're just a player though.
You still need to put in effort to sync up a schedule and dedicate the time to show up and be present. Are you bringing snacks or drinks, do you need to travel? Are you the host because that can be a buttload of work before, during, and after the sesh.
Have you or are you going to read the rules? Take notes? Do you need roll up your own character or use a premade? Do you need to buy a mini or dice?
On average my players are playing for 2.5 to 4hr sessions which is time they're investing that could be spent doing something else. As a working adult, that supply of freetime only ever seems to get smaller and smaller every year.
I want to show my players respect by putting together an experience for them they'll find fun. Each session is a gift I carefully craft to varying degrees of success. I want my players to know I value their time and commitment and I show that by putting in effort into my games.
You are investing effort all along the way of getting together to play...and more often than not some amount of $$ too.
I haven't even talked about actually playing any system yet but I've made a multiparagraph rant post about it... sure some systems require less effort to run/play...but all systems do require effort.
TL;DR: Do players & GMs need to put in effort to engage the hobby?

In today's world, where the flow of information exceeds any limits, many are looking not just for entertainment, but for quality in the content they consume. Avoiding standard diversions and superficial news, these individuals strive for depth and significance.

Gadgets and Innovations: Gazing into the Future

Technological novelties always pique interest. However, there are those who don't just want to learn about a new gadget, but to understand its essence: why it was created, why it has such a design and functionality. These people look for the story behind the product, not just its specifications.

Art and Discoveries: Creativity Without Borders

Interest in the creativity of artists and innovators never fades. Learning about the latest trends in art, understanding the ideas and messages behind the colors, and grasping what new ideas and inventions are about to enter our lives — all this attracts thinking individuals.

Security and Education: Caring for the Future

How to protect oneself in the era of cyber espionage? What really is cybersecurity? These questions concern responsible internet users. Education of future generations is also important: how to instill a love of science in a child, make learning engaging and productive?

Science and Humor: Learning and Laughing

The openness of the world of science, its achievements and aspirations, including ideas that seem fantastical, like colonizing Mars, not only inspire admiration but also a smile. Interest in such topics demonstrates a desire to understand the world while maintaining a lightness of perception.

Technologies in Simple Terms: Quantum Computers and Encryption

Complex technologies, such as quantum computers and encryption methods, become a subject of interest for a wide audience. People want to get to grips with these concepts, understand them without deep technical knowledge.

Conclusion

Among us are many who value quality content and literature, who strive for new discoveries and knowledge. Teachers and students, teenagers and pioneers, everyone who respects themselves and their time, are in constant search of information that inspires, educates, and entertains. In this pursuit of knowledge and understanding of the world lies the real value of modern content. Our website https://theglobal.technology/ is dedicated to all this and much more, we invite you to join us for new knowledge and inspiration.

Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu.
Respected fellow Buddhists, do you know what's worse than death? Have you ever escaped death? Today, I have a firsthand experience of escaping death to share with you.
Have you heard of a disease called myasthenia gravis (MG)? I believe many people have not. As only about 30,000 people worldwide suffer from this disease (Note: This figure may vary as there are differing estimates, with the United States alone having approximately 36,000 to 60,000 cases), where the nerves cannot control the muscles. For example, if the affected area is the hand, it can feel pain, heat, cold, and pressure. But no matter how much you command your hand to move, it won't budge. I am one of those 30,000 people. The affected areas include the cheeks, mouth, left arm, and the chest muscles responsible for breathing. In other words, during an episode of the disease, I cannot breathe. Can you now imagine how close I was to death?
Back to my story. In mid-September 2012, my lungs were infected with bacteria, and I fell seriously ill. On the night of September 29th, my breathing became increasingly difficult, and my family rushed me to the hospital for emergency treatment. The next night, my condition deteriorated to the point of MG, and my breathing became so weak that it was almost cut off. The doctors once again performed emergency procedures for me, eventually placing me on life support system (LSS) and transferring me to the intensive care unit (ICU). The so-called LSS involved many instruments strapped to my body and several tubes inserted into my body. Although the areas where the tubes were inserted were very painful, I dared not move for fear that any loosening of the instruments might endanger my life. So, at that moment, I didn't dare to move at all.
One night, a nurse attempted to draw blood for examination, but the needle just couldn't find the right artery. She would try once, then pull out the needle, try again, and repeat this process several times. I was in excruciating pain, but because my body was encased in instruments, I couldn't move. Finally, I couldn't help but ask myself in my heart, what did I do wrong? Why must I endure all this? I've never harmed anyone, never wronged anyone, so why me?
At that time, I didn't understand Buddhism, nor did I know anything about making vows. But the pain drove me, someone who barely recognized a few Chinese characters despite being educated in English, to silently call out the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva in my heart, begging her to save me from this sea of suffering. A few days later, my condition improved. The doctors removed my LSS, and I was transferred from the ICU to a regular ward. I thought I would soon be discharged and return to my previous life, believing that everything was almost over. I felt very happy!
Looking back now, I realize how ignorant and selfish I was at that time, even as I began to recover. I was only thinking about my own survival and never cared about other people who were suffering like me. Perhaps it was because of this that I received a retribution. On the same evening that I was transferred to the regular ward, I suddenly had difficulty breathing again, couldn't make any sound, and my whole body was immobilized. I could only use my eyes and hands to draw attention, making small gestures with my hand to communicate.
A nurse noticed and called a doctor from the floor. Surprisingly, after glancing at the readings on the instruments, the doctor told the nurse that my heartbeat and breathing were normal, and then left. Once again, I tried my best to attract the attention of those around me. Thanks to the blessings of the Bodhisattva, another doctor passing by noticed me and observed that something was not right with my condition. He/She called back the previous doctor and urged him to conduct a detailed examination. While they were debating whether I was normal or not, I was almost breathless, mentally giving up on life.
The readings on the instruments once again sounded the alarm. Luckily, with both doctors nearby, they were able to save me at the fastest speed possible. The next day, I woke up in the familiar ICU, with the life support system back on me. Through this rollercoaster of emotions, I finally understood that the suffering I endured stemmed from the ignorance and folly accumulated since my birth, perhaps not just in this lifetime, but through countless past lives. Now, I must face the consequences.
I once again prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and made a vow to her: "Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I believe that every soul, before they pass away, experiences a lot of suffering, and their pain is surely no less than what I am enduring now. I implore Guan Yin Bodhisattva to save me from all this suffering. I am willing to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life."
Whether you believe it or not is up to you. Two days after making this vow to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to be a lifelong vegetarian, my lung infection showed significant improvement, and I was subsequently transferred to a regular ward. Perhaps it was destined. Not only did I start to follow a vegetarian diet, but my parents also understood at the same time that my illness was beyond the control of doctors and only the Bodhisattva could save me. At that time, our entire family had just begun to explore Buddhism.
Every day, my mother devoutly chanted the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, while my father recited the Heart Sutra for me diligently.
However, our ordeal was not yet over. One night, I once again experienced difficulty breathing and had to be placed on the LSS for the third time.
I saw my parents kneeling down, praying to the deities and Bodhisattvas to bless me with a safe recovery. They had knelt before doctors before, but this time, seeing them kneel again went beyond what I could bear. I didn't want my parents to kneel for me. Witnessing them kneel deeply wounded me. As a 19-year-old young man, I should be taking care of my parents, yet why were my parents, who were over 50 years old, kneeling for me?
Three times being placed on LSS and admitted to the ICU, followed by three instances of improvement, resulted in my transfer to a regular ward. It was three months later, after my extended hospital stay, that I finally got discharged and returned home. I am deeply grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva. Instead of weakening our faith in Buddhism, this series of challenges only deepened our belief in the principles of karma and karmic obstacles as explanations for my condition. After leaving the hospital, my family and I continued to immerse ourselves in the teachings of Buddhism. Grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva!
One day, my family and I went to a vegetarian restaurant near our home and discovered Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. Excitedly, I immediately went online when I returned home and downloaded several Buddhist scriptures in English phonetics from the Guan Yin Citta website to start reciting. Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door truly works wonders. That very night after reciting the Buddhist scriptures, I dreamt that while reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the balcony at home, the image of Guan Yin Bodhisattva appeared in the clouds.
However, the next day after waking up, I felt a headache and drowsiness when reciting scriptures. My family and I took the liberty of contacting the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur. The Buddhist practitioner who answered the call instructed us to come to the fellowship to recite scriptures. One day, while reciting scriptures at the fellowship, I experienced severe headaches. At that time, everyone was busy preparing for a Dharma conference, and the venue was crowded. I am grateful to the practitioner who cleared some space for me to lie down and gathered many fellow practitioners present to recite scriptures for me.
Later, the practitioner explained that my headaches were messages from the karmic creditors and taught me about releasing lives, making vows, and the importance of Little Houses for eliminating karmic obstacles. I immediately arranged to release thousands of fish. Today, my family still insists on releasing lives for me on the first and fifteenth day of every lunar month.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is truly a miraculous practice. Ever since I began reciting Little Houses under the guidance of the fellow practitioner, I have experienced continuous dreams. On the first night, I dreamt of a seven-story-tall Buddha statue with many people practicing beneath it. Just two weeks later, after memorizing the Great Compassion Mantra, I dreamt of the Dharmakaya of Bodhisattva and two Dharma protectors driving me around in a car. Even more wonderfully, two months later, after memorizing the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance, I dreamt of myself having tea with Master Lu.
Most importantly, after continuing to release lives, make vows, and recite Little Houses, my illness has not recurred.
Having now healed from this unusual illness, I'm here to share my story with you. These dreams signify an enhancement in the quality of life. I deeply appreciate the blessings of the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, which have reinforced my resolve to earnestly follow the path of Buddhism and instilled me with confidence. I am dedicated to diligently progressing in the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and remain steadfast in my commitment.
Currently, I am studying in Singapore, and whenever I have the opportunity, I propagate the Dharma and benefit sentient beings. Whenever I return to Malaysia, I often volunteer at the fellowship center.
Additionally, I would like to mention two more things. Firstly, on the second night after making my vow to be a vegetarian, I saw a child's spirit clearly flying beside me in the hospital and heard it laughing. Shortly after, I dreamt of a man killing a woman and cutting open her chest. In the dream, I felt that the pain of the woman being cut open was exactly the same as the pain I felt during my surgery.
While many still question the reality of karma and karmic obstacles, doubting Master Lu's teachings, I have personally experienced their effects. Thus, I hope my story can encourage you to embark on the practice of Buddhism and the recitation of Buddhist scriptures, starting today. I wish to prevent anyone from following my path, waiting until karmic obstacles manifest and adversity strikes before beginning their spiritual journey. I am deeply thankful for all those who stood by me during that challenging time, particularly my family and friends, who supported me through my darkest moments. My heartfelt gratitude also goes to the fellow practitioners at the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur, who patiently guided me into the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door.
Deep gratitude to our Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master Jun Hong Lu for establishing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, guiding us on a path away from suffering towards happiness. Lastly, and most importantly, deep gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, who saves those in distress and hardship. With Her Buddha light blessing each one of us, She guides us back to the right path of learning Buddhism and constantly watches over us, blessing us at all times and in all places. Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Buddhist practitioner: GWT
Speech to text translator: Guan Jing
Proofreaders: Miao and Dong Ri Yang Guang
Date: 2024-05-11
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-05-14
Statement by translator
The story was translated from video into text, and then translated from Chinese into English. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the presenter, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
下面让我们有请来自马来西亚的郭同修与我们分享：郭同修身患绝症，重症肌无力，饱受病痛折磨几次病危。然而心灵法门使他摆脱病魔，重获新生。让我们掌声欢迎!
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨，感恩卢军宏师父。
尊敬的各位佛友，你是否知道什么事情比死更糟糕？你是否曾经死里逃生？今天我便有一个亲身经历死里逃生的故事要告诉你。
你是否听过一种称为重症肌无力的疾病？相信很多人都不曾听过。因为全世界只有约三万人患上这种病，患者的神经控制不到肌肉。举例说，如果患病部位是手臂，这个手就能感觉到痛热冷及压力。但无论如何你怎么叫你那个手动，它都不会动。我就是三万人之一。而受影响的部位包括脸颊，嘴巴，左手臂以及负责呼吸的胸肌。也就是说，当病程发作的时候，我是无法呼吸的。你现在估计到我多接近死亡了吧？
回到我的故事。2012年9月中旬，我肺部被细菌感染，久病不起。在9月29日当晚，我的呼吸也到了越来越困难，家人赶紧送进医院急救。第二天夜里，病情终于恶化到重症肌无力，我的呼吸微弱到快要断气了。医生再次替我急救，最后替我戴上了维生系统，并送进加护病房。所谓维生系统，就是很多仪器套在身上，很多管子插进身体里。虽然被插管子的部位很痛，但万一随便一个仪器松脱了，可能我的生命就会有危机。所以，我当时连动都不敢动。
有一夜，护士替我抽血检查，但是针管却一直插不进正确的动脉。她们这里插一下不行，拔出针管，在那里又插一下，一次又一次。我那时痛得死去活来，却因为全身套满了仪器而不能动。我终于忍不住在心里问自己，我做错了什么？为何必须承受这一切？我不曾伤害任何人，也不曾亏待任何人，为什么是我？
那时还不懂佛法，也不懂什么许愿。但痛苦使得我这个受英文教育认不到几个中文字的人也会在心里喊出观世音菩萨的佛号，祈求她救我出苦海。几天后，我的情况有好转。医生移除了我的维生系统，从加护病房推进了普通病房。我想自己很快可以出院，回到之前的生活，一切几乎结束了。我觉得很开心！
现在回想起来，我才发觉自己当时是多么的愚昧，才开始康复仍然如此的自私。只想着自己生存，不曾关心其他和我一样受苦的人。可能因为这样我受到了教训。就在我被转进普通病房的同一天晚上，我突然呼吸困难，发不出声音，全身又不能动，只能用眼神和手，以我的手用一点小动作来引起别人的注意。
一个护士发现到把楼层的医生叫来。想不到医生竟然看看仪器读数后跟护士说我的心跳和呼吸都正常，然后就离开了。我再一次用最尽力的引起身旁的人注意。感谢菩萨保佑。这时有另外一位医生经过，看到我，察觉到我的神态不正常，并把之前的医生叫回来，求他详细检查。就在他们两个还在争论我究竟是正常或不正常，一旁我已经几乎断气了，心里放弃活命了。
仪器读数也再一次变成警报状态。幸好两个医生在身旁，能以最快的速度把我救了。第二天，我在熟悉的加护病房里醒来，身上又套上了维生系统。经过这一次乐极生悲，我终于明白到我受的苦是源于我出生以来愚昧无知的罪，或许不止只有这一世，而是过去无数世累积下来的因果。如今要面对果报了。
我再次向观世音菩萨祈求，而且向她发愿说：“观世音菩萨，我相信每个灵魂，他们死之前都会受到很多苦，它们的痛苦肯定不比我现在所受的少。请求观世音菩萨救我脱离这一切痛苦。我愿意为此一生吃素。
相不相信由你。向观世音菩萨发愿终身吃素后两天我肺部感染有了明显的好转，之后被转进普通病房。或许是因缘到了。不但我自己开始吃素，我父母也同时明白到我的疾病已不在医生的控制范围，只有菩萨才能救到我。当时我们全家人才刚接触佛法。
妈妈每天勤念观音菩萨的佛号。爸爸找来一本《心经》每天为我念诵。
但是，我们的考验还没过去。某天晚上我再次感到呼吸困难，第三次戴上了维生系统。
我看到父母下跪求神佛菩萨保佑我平安度过。他们之前已经跪过医生了，这一次再下跪，已经超出我能承受的限度。我不要父母为我下跪。看到他们下跪，深深地刺伤了我。我这一个19岁的男孩应该照顾父母，反而为什么要让他们超过50岁的父母为我而下跪？
三次戴上了维生系统住进加护病房又三次的好转，被转进普通病房。我在医院里住了三个月后，才终于出院回家。感恩菩萨保佑。这三好三坏的过程，不但没有减少我和家人对佛法的信心，反而相信只有因果和业障才能解释我的状况。出院后，我和家人还继续研究什么是佛法。感恩菩萨加持！
某一天，我和家人到住家附近的一间素食馆，认识到心灵法门。于是，我回家就急不及待的上网，上心灵法门的网站下载了几篇佛经的英文拼音版开始念诵。心灵法门真的很灵验。我当夜念诵了经文后，便梦见在家中的阳台念诵《大悲咒》时，在梦里天上的云朵化出观世音菩萨的形象。
然而，第二天醒来后我念经便感到头痛及爱睡。我和家人冒昧地拨电话联络吉隆坡心灵法门共修会。接电话的师姐便叫我们到共修会里念经。一天我在共修会里念经时，头痛剧烈。当时大家正在忙着筹备法会，会所堆得很拥挤。很感恩师姐搬开东西，腾出空间让我躺下，还召集了在场的许多师兄师姐们一起为我念诵经文。
后来，师姐解释我的头痛是要经者的讯息，还教会我放生、许愿及小房子并告诉我消除业障的急迫性。我当时便即刻安排放生数千条鱼。如今家人依然坚持每逢初一十五为我放生。
心灵法门真的是很灵验的法门，自从我在师姐的教导下，开始以正确的方式念小房子之后，便不断有梦境显现。第一晚便梦见一座七层楼高的佛像，底下有很多人在共修。心灵法门真的很灵验的法门，两个星期后我背熟了《大悲咒》时，便梦到菩萨的法身，还有两护法神用车子载我兜圈。更美妙的是，两个月后，当我背起了《礼佛大忏悔文》，竟然梦见自己和师父一起喝茶。
最重要的是我继续的放生许愿及念小房子之后，我的病情不曾复发。
现在已经从这奇怪的疾病中痊愈，活下来告诉你们这一个故事。这一切的梦境显示生活素质提升。我都感恩大慈大悲的观世音菩萨的加持，坚定了我学佛精进，很有信心，并立志在心灵法门一门精进永不退转。
我如今在新加坡求学，只要有机会就弘法利生，一回到马来西亚更是经常到共修会工去做义工。
另外，我要补充两件事，第一件事在我发愿吃素后的第二晚，我便在医院看见一小孩子的灵性清楚地在我旁边飞过，还发出了笑声。不久后我又梦见了一个男人杀了一个女人，还把她的胸口割开。而我在梦里感觉，那女人的被割开胸口的痛苦竟然跟我动手术时的痛苦一模一样。很多人还在质疑因果和业障的存在，怀疑卢台长的教导，但是我亲身体验过了。因此，我希望自己的故事能启发你学佛，学习佛法，今天就开始念诵经文。因为我不希望有人跟我一样，等到业障显现坏事发生之后才开始修行。深深感恩所有在我那段时间陪伴过我的人，尤其是我家人和朋友，在我最艰难的时刻，可以为我支持的人。深深感恩吉隆坡心灵法门共修会的师兄师姐们。他们耐心引导我进入心灵法门。
深深感恩我们大慈大悲的卢军宏台长创办了心灵法门，指引我们一条离苦得乐的道路。最后也是最重要的，深深感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨，以她的佛光加持了我们每一个人，指引我们回到正确的学佛之道，随时随地都在庇佑着我们。感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
如果整理过程中有不如理不如法之处，还请观世音菩萨护法神菩萨慈悲原谅！
观净师兄语音转文字，妙师兄和东日阳光师兄校对。
2024-05-11
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

So I 26F has always known my parents weren’t really big into sharing our accomplishments on Facebook. My mom used to anxiously ask if we knew that they were proud of us because she’d see my friends’ parents always post about in high school, but my mom felt weird “bragging about us.”
Well, as I’ve become an adult, I’ve realized my dad actually posts about my brother and sister fairly often and me not at all. Both got married in the last 4 years, so I know they’ve had bigger accomplishments and big life events mean big congratulations and that’s post worthy, but it’s kind of getting painful. Im the only one that lives in the same town as my parents, and he posts pictures from traveling down to see my little brother and sister in law all the time. I actually think he’s probably spent more time with them in the last year than I have and it’s just embarrassing. I recently got accepted into a nursing program in university. I was really excited and telling people because I was proud of myself for refocusing on my goal. When I went to visit my brother got told him, he started kind of grilling me on the program and what it meant, then told me five different ways that I wasn’t really in nursing school, don’t get so ahead of myself, don’t tell people that. I was baffled and didn’t understand why he was being so negative or why he cared so much. Then two days later my dad posted a celebration dinner picture with my brother with a caption about how proud he was of his son for getting accepted into nursing school…
I kind of mentally broke and went through both of my parents Facebook and realized neither of them have posted about me or mentioned me or anything I was doing in over 4 years. My dad even forgot to post for my birthday but remembered my brothers wife. He also made sure to hit her with “I’m proud to have you as my daughter in law.” And I just feel kind of choked because I don’t think I can remember the last time I heard anyone say they were proud of me. I tried to call my sister to talk to her about everything but she was busy and couldn’t talk. I just kind of went cold. Deleted my Facebook, sent my mom a happy Mother’s Day text but spent the day home alone. Before I went to work. It just occurred to me that might be a less embarrassing explanation for why. “No no, they’re super proud of me, I just don’t have a facebook so, you know.”
The most embarrassing thing to me that they actually won’t notice because they won’t be tagging my name in anything anyways. I feel like I can’t talk to them about it because how does that conversation even look? I remember when we were kids, my dad once gave me shit for always keeping score, and noticing when someone else got more than me. And ever since he pointed that out I never forgot it and have hated that about myself. I hate that I notice and I hate that it hurts my feelings. I’ve tried to not notice, but every time he takes my brother or sister and their spouses skiing, or out to dinner, or shopping as a special occasion because he’s in town again, I just don’t feel good. And I don’t know how to say it without him hearing me as a soiled little baby who noticed that someone else got an extra piece of candy and had to bitch about it.
Any advice would be appreciated. Should I talk to my mom about this? It’s been hurting me and I don’t know what to do

Title and some context for the situation I am questioning. TL:DR at the bottom.
I am 24F and my friend 40M and I both have types of trauma. We support each other but recently he's fallen into thinking that he's this big loser for being single and having his parents live with him at his age. I am sure there's lots of other reasons but when trying to support him it normally ends up with something vague on *why* he thinks he's a loser. He doesn't live with his parents, they live with him after medical issues made them unable to work and afford living in a safe place. I know he's single more from choice because of his traumas so I don't know if that makes him a loser at all.
I struggle myself with self image because of physical issues and limitations so I understand feeling like a loser, I just don't think he is. He jaded and depressed but still doing more than his minimum needs and he's creating things. He is losing friends, we have a religious friend who doesn't fully respect his non religious views and I know they stopped talking. So maybe just me but that's not a loser, just struggling.
How do you help someone even get out of thinking that way, I think someone called him a loser and been trying my best to get him to not think so sad and angry. I am not losing sleep helping him and talking to him isn't all doom and gloom just lots of small comments that he's a loser from him and how he's not trying in life if anyone else isn't. I know its not hurting my mental state listening to him because the helping a friend makes me feel better but I almost want to squeeze that thought(s) out of him.
Most posts online I can find about 'loser friends' say to stop talking to them for yourself, and yes that is the case in some but what even makes a loser? I always saw a typical 'loser' as someone who doesn't care about anyone at all, normally relies on some poor cope to get through the day, and causes harm to not just the few people around them their using but the community as a whole and is basically throwing their life "away" from lack of making any connections at all from choice and not mental illness.
I just want to help him but but not sure how to. Loser is more how you view them/yourself so I am not sure how to help.
TL:DR: my friend, 40M, feels like a loser but is helping his family and creating daily. He has few people to turn to and I don't want to give up on him and don't see him like a loser. How would I help?

Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.

For context, I have been getting completely burnt out from my job. We have only two people scheduled for deliveries closing per day since the beginning of the year. It’s been a huge strain on both my mental health and physical health. I’m a 5’3, 24 year old woman. It is hard for me to pick mulch, lumber, or drywall by myself (which I’m expected to do to get deliveries done). Managers also expect me to stay after the time I’m scheduled to make sure everything is picked, clean, and Bopis is at zero. My Dad died on April 28th. We don’t know how yet, but he didn’t take care of himself. Obviously, I’m full of strange emotions I don’t understand. Everyone at work knew what I was going through. I had to go to a funeral in a different state for my father to learn that he didn’t even leave his children anything and left everything to his mistress.
Yesterday, I was just doing my job as a deliveries associate. I was called into the back office. A store manager and my female deliveries manager were back there. He starts laying into me how he feels bad for my predicament, but my performance has been rough since last month. I try to explain to him that I’m burnt out and tired and how only scheduling two people per shift is exhausting and unhelpful. The manager then snaps at me saying that I interrupted him. At this point, I just started crying. I had so many emotions welled up inside me that they all just came out. My dad died, I had been burnt out, I was in a job that was physically and emotionally draining me, and now I felt like my managers didn’t understand or care to understand. All they cared about is that I wasn’t doing my work up to their standards. I tried to explain that I’m switching departments because of the strain this job has on me and he just snapped at me and said, “It doesn’t matter! You’ve still been doing poor job!”
I just sobbed at this point, having an anxiety attack. He kept laying into me that I should ask people for help (which I did in the past and got no support from my managers or other associates) and that some associates have been coming to him and telling him that I don’t care about what my managers say or my job. I explained that that wasn’t true and that I’ve never said that. At this point, I couldn’t breath. I was sobbing and in an uncomfortable situation. I just wanted to leave, but then they got sympathetic. The manager tried to explain that he’s just worried about me and cares about me. At this point, I felt like I couldn’t believe him after he snapped at me and dug into me. He tried to make me laugh, tried to make jokes and lighten the mood. I continued to cry. He then tried to get me to talk about my feelings, feelings that weren’t work related. I was so uncomfortable, it wasn’t their business to know about my life story or that I’m on antidepressants. I told him that my feelings were not work related but he pushed again and said that didn’t matter. I had to straight up express that I felt uncomfortable in this situation for him to stop.
Finally, they let me go. I rushed out of the office and ran to the bathroom. Where I cried for a while. This experience has caused me to realize that I need to find a new place to work…I’m filing out applications now…

Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.

Im an isfp male who was just chilling in class till i had my first interaction with this infp female. The year was fresh so i didn't really know her personally, she is super quiet and acts so serious most of the time. She sat next to me for the very first time and we hasn't talked much.. it was kinda awkward. After some time she got to know me a bit more.. we started to talk more.. and i started to know her better too. I just realized that she has a 'cute' side or something that she just dosen't show to anyone. I loved that side and i really liked how mysterious she is. We were sitting next to each other like everyday.. and i started to try to ask her some questions and throw some light jokes and some shit like that. She was acting so cold. After like one month passed i realized that she is actually following my friend and she actually sat behind him on purpose (cuz his best friend always sat next to him).. i wasn't really sure about her chasing for him thing until some time passed and she started to show more interest towards him and i just got it. All that happened and i was confused why she invites me to sit next to her while chasing him by sitting around him a lot. I had some kind of feelings for her and i didn't have such a great connection with her so i chose to move on. I can't fake being her 'friend' while having feelings for her. So i stopped sitting next to her and when she invites me i simply refuse. I didn't really ghost her or anything cruel, i just wanted to limit contact as a defense mechanism. She likes him and im sure but what i didn't get yet that she acts so goofy towards me and tease me a lot and smile when she sees me and while i was sitting alone i noticed many times that her best friend stares at me but i act like i didn't see her. What really confused me, that she treat us (me and him) so differently from others. She tease us, act goofy toward us and smile at us when she see us and all kind of interest signs. But for others she acts so cold.. just how she acted towards me at the beginning of the year. As the time passes we had 1 on 1 conversations and she was super talkative like i never imagined. And she became more interested.. i usually have the resting bitch face so whenever she sees me she thinks im sad and asks me if something is wrong. All of that yet she still chase him. One day we were in class and she started crying so much, that i felt shit for her and sat next to her and supported her emotionally.. i showed her that i care and told her that what she is feeling is totally ok and i spent two hours discussing what happened to her and i ever told her some emberrasing stuff that happened to me in the past just to make her smile. Im not a chase and im not a nice guy, i just wanted to provide her with the same support she gave me. Until she was okay again. The guy who she used to chase just told her ' to stop drama '. After some time she asked me a favor.. and ' please brother ' And here i got pissed off and just acted normal and i was thinking to really ghost her forever after that cuz she gave me hope after i moved on completely and now she destroyed my hopes. I remember that i was so mad that day and went for a long walk alone thinking about the whole situation and how girls just like assholes not someone who respects them. This time it was hard to move on and i just took a week off just to "process my feelings" cuz i really got obsessed with her for a long time and its hard to completely move on now. I get attached to people so fast. After that week i remember the day i was back.. she was extremely happy to see me or something and she came to me and teased me so much and i sat next to me and started talking and she said " I really like to teaasee you UwU " One day i came to school and she was so excited and told me to sit in front of her cuz she was sitting next to her bestfriend.. then i said okay whatever. Then her bestfriend was going to the bathroom and then she came sat next to me instantly and her best friend said so you're going to leave me alone then? She said no i will sit next to you when you're back. And then from here we started talking and she was asking me some personal questions and then we started talking about some deep and personal stuff. I asked her stuff about her personality and she answered me and the conversation was going so great.. she asked me to leave the classroom with her and i just refused but she didn't leave and sat next to me anyway. I noticed that she doesn't chase him much like she used to and she sit randomly in class yet she still jokes with him and stuff.
After that long story i just want to know what is going on, why she is giving me mixed signals and she acts interrested on both of us. If she doesn't like me romantically why acts that way.. why she just doesn't treat me like anyone else. Im really confused and i need an advice from you INFPs
Thank you so much for reading.

TLDR; I'm upset with my favourite person and my brain just froze. I am stuck and I don't know what actions to take. Does this sound familiar?
Sorry for the incoherent long story. I think I needed to both vent and I would greatly appreciate advice and insight to get my head straight.
I'm not exactly sure what happened, but they just... keep disappointing me 😔 Not keeping promises, not communicating clearly about the reasons why, and making me feel like I'm not important. We talk every day, and communication just decreased a lot from their side. I haven't seen them in person in weeks. When I asked why, there was no reason according to them. I gave them some space, and they're just making small talk with me, avoiding big topics. I feel kind of gaslit and very upset, so I decided to take a step back and think about what to do/say next.
I haven't responded for a few days and when I checked there were multiple messages from them expressing concern about me due to my sudden disappearance. I just said sorry, that I didn't mean to make them worry.
I know the right thing to do is talk about it and face any possible consequences. I don't know why that seems impossible, but I just can't. It's like I'm stuck in a loop. I think deep down maybe I'm afraid to find out how little they actually care? Or that I've been replaced? Losing a favourite person is the worst feeling in the world to me. My brain feels.... fried. Like I blew a fuse.
The thing is, I'm upset. But I have to admit that no contact and not having to deal with their mixed messages bullshit has been extremely peaceful. Yes I think about them, but I have mostly been hanging out with other people and focusing on other things. I don't think that's completely fair of me, and it may be important to mention we both have audhd.
I think I'm looking for advice. I don't fully understand what is happening to me, why is it so hard? I don't think I normally struggle to express myself this much when I'm upset.

Obviously skipping the VR one here as I do not have a VR set, nor am I planning in getting one.
SUPERHOT
At risk of hyping up a game that's already hyped up as a modern classic by a fair share of people, I have to say that Superhot is absolutely fantastic. Plays out like a really good mix of basic FPS gameplay and puzzles, in the sense that you actively have to figure out what's the next best move for you to do, as you clear out a room that would usually result in your death if played in real time. It's a great twist on the concept of shooters, and the result is an amazing game that is only held back by annoying button prompts and sections that are required to advance through the story.
The game was already great by itself, but it absolutely shines with the post-game challenges. No story segments to push through, just straight up gameplay, one level after the other, with different challenges that force you to see and replay the levels in a different style, to a point where you just zone out and fully focus on clearing level after level after level... at that point you're entranced, thus mimicking something the game talks about during the story.
It's simple. It's short. But you can get a lot out of it.
As for Mind Control Delete... there are ups and downs.
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE (MCD)
The best thing about this sequel is how they improved enemy AI. Katana wielders now deflect bullets as well, and if you throw something at a guy using a bat he will use it to cancel it out. They have more erratic movement, which can be either a plus or a negative to you. Personally I like it, makes it more challenging to kill the dudes.
On top of that, you now have several power ups that you can use to spice up your gameplay. You can spawn with a katana, or a random gun. You can be faster. You can have more bullets. You can become temporarily invincible by engaging in melee combat, skip your reload if your shot kills, accumulate HP as you kill more and more enemies, slow down bullets near you even further, increase your throwing strength so now shurikens come back to you if they hit an opponent... in short the powers are a great addition!
But to me... it lost a bit of the charm. This sequel plays like an entire game was made based around one of the alternative modes in the original Superhot (and not even my favourite), so it feels like a sort of spin off, rather than a true sequel. To me, the joy of Superhot was in figuring a carefully built level out (solving the puzzle) and then tackling it in different ways without getting hit, not even once!
MCD simply throws you into a gauntlet of levels (and give you at least 2 hearts, so you can get hit at least once) and while that is certainly fun... it feels a lot like a separate mode, rather than the Superhot experience I've had with the original. Which results in a game that feels more like a shooter employing Superhot mechanics, and is still technically Superhot, but it's just not the same. It's too random. Too reliant on killing X dudes in this well-designed room. At least the original could tell a very small, self-contained story with each level. In this one you're just there.
By no means do I consider the latest entry a bad game! Far from it. It just doesn't scratch the same itch.
CONCEPT
I'm using concept here instead of plot since it fits Superhot better. I mean... there is a plot and some lore, sure, but I feel this game is more concept-driven than the other way around. Meaning that there is a theme, and there is a narrative going on, but it all circles around this idea of the game being very addicting and spreading like a virus. Both the original and the sequel play off these tones, but in different ways.
SOUND
Other than certain sections, there is no music. Just straight up beautiful, satisfying, eargasmic sound design. I also enjoyed how in certain levels you can actually hear the background if you don't stop, especially in the Disco level in MCD where the music gets less muted if you keep moving, thus sort of influencing you to play it as close to real-time as possible.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Absolutely a modern classic for sure with an idea that just works in both gameplay and in a conceptual sense. MCD is also pretty fun, but if the puzzle aspect is what captivated you the most in the first game, curb your expectations a little before playing it.

I saw a video of Wonhee reporting a hate comment during one of their live streams, and she seemed visibly upset.
It's undeniable that this situation is taking a toll on the girls. It's still early in their career, and they're adjusting to the spotlight while facing a wave of negativity. It's concerning how much hate they're receiving. If I were in their shoes, I'm not sure how I would cope.
Unfortunately, it seems like this negativity won't fade away soon. New articles keep surfacing, and some individuals believe targeting ILLIT with hate will solve everything, which only adds to the girls' distress. It's heartbreaking to witness. People claim to care about idols' mental health, yet they contribute to their suffering. It's exhausting.
That's why I believe BELIFT should consider disabling comments on their social media and hire moderators for their live streams. While it won't shield them from media scrutiny entirely, it would create a safer online space for them. The current situation is horrible, they're even posting hate comments on fan accounts! My heart goes out to the girls, they must be feeling incredibly anxious.