Hey everyone, I recently transitioned into a team leadership role, and I've learned a ton in just a few short months. I wanted to share some advice for those of you who might be new to this kind of position.
Here's what I've found most helpful:

1. Communicate Clearly and Often: One of the most important roles as a team lead is to ensure everyone is on the same page. Regular updates, clear instructions, and open channels for feedback can make a huge difference. Don’t assume everyone knows what’s going on—overcommunicate if you must.
2. Delegate Wisely: You might be tempted to take on everything yourself to make sure it's done right, but that’s a surefire way to burn out. Trust your team. Delegating not only helps you manage your workload but also empowers your team and helps them grow their skills.
3. Be Approachable: Create an environment where your team members feel comfortable coming to you with their ideas, concerns, and feedback. Being approachable and supportive builds trust and helps you catch potential issues early.
4. Focus on Development: Invest in your team's professional growth. This could mean providing them with training opportunities, setting aside time for mentorship, or just having regular one-on-one meetings to discuss career goals. A team that feels supported in their growth will be more engaged and productive.
5. Lead by Example: Lastly, the best way to lead is by example. Show the kind of work ethic, attitude, and integrity you expect from your team. Your behavior sets the tone for the whole team, so be the leader you would want to follow.

Would love to hear more tips from those of you who have been in this role longer. What else should new team leads keep in mind?

Howdy! Looking for some post support on a narrative/short I just completed filming. We're looking for a sound designer and composer. This was a passion project, that we had an awesome camera team working on, and will be promoted by a few of the big rental houses. The story is a contemporary western story and will be about 3 minutes. If interested, please reach out with some examples of your work, and I can share some stills and a little more info about the project.Thank you!

Spiritual messenger
Nen type: Emittion 100%
(I dont remember if nen beasts require manipulation, if thats the case manipulation 80%)
Description: The user joins his hands together and then creates a maximum of 3 nen beasts with the form of an animal The nen beasts can take a form of a lot of animals (fish, Dolphin, hawk, spider, cheetah, etc).
The user goes into a trance where he controls the nen beasts, and senses everything the nen beasts can (hearing,eyesight, smell, taste) but he cant move or sense anything himself.
When a nen beast touches a person, a short message appears into their mind
The user also can decide to chance the fomr of a nen beast into another animal, depending on how many nen beast are existing at the moment
Example: If the user created 1 nen beast, he can change its form 2 times. If the user created 2 nen beasts, he can change the form of one of them 1 time. If the user created 3 nen beasts, he cant change their form.
Conditions:
1- The user is in a state similar to zetsu while the nen beast exists
2- The nen beast will dissapear when if the user gets attacked/disturbed or deactivates the ability Also if a nen beast delivers a message, gets attacked or separate more than 5 kilometers away from the user
3- The ability has a cooldown of 1 hour per use.
4- The nen beasts cant take the form of a very big animal, like a whale or an elephant
5- The message cant be larger than 30 words

Before Dot Net I used to simplify UI maintenance by packaging common shop UI idioms behind compact methods. If one needed the "long cut", they could just paste-and-modify the text of the short-cut method, and thus I wasn't hiding the magic; they were just old fashioned methods that didn't prevent usage of the out-of-the-box long-cut when desired. It made web CRUD simple and easy.
But the equivalent in most Dot Net frameworks seems to require reflection rocket surgery that's above my IQ (especially when they "break"), or stack-specific templating gizmos, which are either buggy and/or poorly documented.
Most just seem to shuddup and accept the typical XML bloat in the UI code. Some people can indeed read bloated verbose code much faster than me, so maybe my eyes are just too slow? But a good many devs don't have fast eyes either. Is one expected to be a bloat-master now if using C# frameworks? Should I get out of C#?
Old fashioned subroutines/methods for shop-specific DRY have fell out of favor, and I don't understand why. C#'s optional named parameters are a wonderful abstraction tool, but we can't use them in UI's.
Example pseudo-code:

 var pocoRef = longCutToPocoReference(...); var pnl = New UiFramework.Panel(....); // pnl.addNum(pocoRef.EmployeeNo, decimals: 0, zeroPad: True, HideOnAdd: True); pnl.addText(pocoRef.LastName); pnl.addText(pocoRef.FirstName); pnl.addText(pocoRef.MiddleInitial, 1, altTitle: "M.I."); // override default grid columns* & title pnl.NewRow(); // explicitly start a new row (DIV) pnl.addText(pocoRef.Narrative, multiLines: 4) // Etc... (Who can NOT love this?!) // * alternative longer form is "gridCols: 1". Shown is a positional param. 

Broke no contact after one year and now I feel like I’m dying
I(M19) broke up with my ex(F19) one year ago. I broke up with her because I was in a very toxic relationship and we had long distance (she used to live 500km from my city). She used to always be rough with me because I didn’t have enough money to spend on her. For example( one day when i went to her and didn’t buy her flowers she told me to send her the money for the flowers 30£ on PayPal). She used to stay on tinder (she didn’t know that I had access to her phone and saw it) and even went to the club with her uni group and a week later got “the kissing disease”. She was always telling that she didn’t kiss anybody even if doctors say that you can get this disease only by kissing someone. During the winter break she had to come to my city and told me to buy her the ticket(60£). After I told her many times that I don’t have the money, she told me “if you’ll want me near, you’ll find the money” and she was right, even though I was in the last year of high school, I used to work on Saturdays and payed her train ticket. Every time when I went to her, I had to pay both the train ticket and the hotel room because her sister wouldn’t let me sleep in their apartment even though they had 2 bedrooms. At the same time, my family let her sleep in our apartment when she came to my city. So I broke up with her before summer, when she didn’t want to pay 40%(she didn’t even want to ask her family if they can or cannot pay it) of the total sum of our trip to Spain. She told me that she regrets being in a relationship with me, blocked me and I thought at the moment that she broke up with me. The next day, she called me and I asked her who will initiate (I thought it was a call to break up officially). She started screaming through the phone that I m a psycho and that it was me the one who wanted to breakup. I felt so guilty that the next month I was everyday crying. Finally I decided to call her to have a normal conversation about what happened, we clarified everything. One month later, after a terrorist attack near my city, she texted me and asked how am I doing and sent a picture with us, telling that we’re so cute together. I said that it was true. She didn’t apologize, didn’t even say anything that she would like to get back together.
After this we didn’t talk for the entire year but I was feeling very sad the whole year because when I broke up with her, I didn’t tell her about tinder(saw 2 chats with 2 dudes in her phone) or about what happened in the club that night.
After one year, I called her and very respectfully said that I really needed answers in order to obtain closure. She told me that she was only “communicating” on tinder (I think it’s a lie) and totally refused to recognize that she cheated on me that night in the club. After this, she told me that she has to go and that if I want to continue talking, we can talk in the evening . 20 minutes after this short call I wrote her that I was thankful for her answers but I didn’t think it would be right for us to continue talking. She responded that I shall never get in touch with her ever again in order to accuse her of something that happened a year ago. One week later I called her again in order to excuse myself for the fact that I reached out to her. She didn’t respond and at that moment I understood that she restricted me on insta . I sent her the message that I was sorry. My friends told me that I was a piece of shit for doing this.
NOW I FEEL LIKE MY HEART WILL EXPLODE BEACUSE I FEEL SO STUPID AND ASHAMED . I even though maybe buying a train ticket and go to her city to visit her, but idk if it’s right. My family doesn’t want even to hear about my ex and is tired of hearing me talk about her. What should I do, please HELP
Ps we were dating during a year and a half and I was traveling to her every 3 weeks

Well it all started in October 2022 I took a course that really did not help me much, it was like the summary of the official videos of council, in short, I let the time pass about 6 months, and then I bought the elite package, the tryhackme membership, you know you buy everything feeling that the more you buy the more you are going to know and no hahahahahahaa, well I started with the council videos but they bored me and when I read the example questions of the modules I did not understand where they got their questions or rather how to answer them because the council videos are very summarized, I got discouraged by it and I let it pass, I preferred to practice in tryhackme because I felt that the theory was costing me, I finished until the path of pentester, but I did not follow it anymore (I consider that at this moment I had the best possible knowledge to pass it), but again I got discouraged and I let time pass, finally a month and a half ago I set the date of my exam (because my voucher was going to expire) I started to read the book of council officer and I understood everything, it is worth mentioning that I do not speak English natively, I consider that my level is a B1/2, in short, on Saturday I took the exam and I passed it.
Also a little about myself, I have worked in different financial institutions in cloud roles (AWS, GCP, Azure), telecommunications (VPN, VDI, Appstream) and internal control of technology.
Summary, of what I would recommend to my past self:
1.- Don't let more time pass (Set a date and take the exam, don't move it).
2.- The official videos I consider that do not help, or classroom courses do not help, at least for me, since it is a lot of info that each one must understand it at their own pace.
3.- The official book of council will help you to pass it (there are not so many pages, it brings many screenshots, algorithms or blanks, imagine I translated some complete modules).
4.-If you bought the elite package as you finish a module of the book practice doing the partial exams (Elite Package Resource/EXAM PREPARATION), the exams of that platform (*topics) also help a lot .
In 1 month I am going to take the CEH practical and I will practice with tryhackme networks among other machines that I find, let's see how it goes.
I hope my experience will be helpful and I wish you all success.

I know it was your first relationship. At 28, you had already been through so much, having been on your own for 13 years. You were forced to grow up too fast, and had to prioritize yourself, building a life from nothing. I get it. It was your fierce independence that made me fall for you in the first place.
I always knew that trying to build a life with you was going to be a struggle. I thought it would be worth it, for both of us. You deserve to have someone in your corner, that always has your back. You shouldn’t have to be alone. I don’t know if you believed the same.
I think I gave up too much of myself for you. Was that my mistake or yours? Did you really ask for too much, or did I give too freely without expectation for anything in return? Maybe both. Probably more on me. I’m not perfect by a long shot.
Compromise. It really does all come down to that. I tried to show you its importance, but in the process I ended up being the only one willing to do it. Me getting to pick what movie we watched or getting to plan a date became something I only got to do on special occasions. You said you felt like you didn’t know me, but so many times in so many ways I offered up little pieces of me to you. I share myself by sharing the things I love with the people I love. But more and more towards the end, all you’d say was “no”. Ignoring any context. Ignoring those pieces of me.
I know you don’t like movies about kids. I know asking to watch Home Alone during Christmas was a big ask. But it was a tradition that I shared with my dad, who I lost just over a year before. I know you think that traditions are pointless, but it was important to me. My earliest memories are of that. I needed to continue on, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it alone. I needed you there, your support. It was such a small gesture I was asking of you, but all I got was “no”. Instead we watched a movie you picked: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. A movie made by the exact same people that made Home Alone, and with even more kids.
We wanted to go to Ireland. Personally I’ve been wanting to go for years, but couldn’t because of my dad’s illness along with everything else going on. You knew that in the last 3 years I lost all of my grandparents, two uncles, my dad. I couldn’t risk going so far away for so long while everyone was sick. My mom saw me giving up the latter half of my 20s for my family, when she was hoping I would be enjoying life and seeing the world. That’s why she was happy to give us the money to have the trip of our dreams. I explained all of this to you while you were struggling to find a way to save for the trip. All my mom wanted in return was a single nice photo of us. That wasn’t even a requirement for the money. She just wanted to see me with the person that I love making our dreams come true. I know you hate having your picture taken. The only attention your dad ever gave you was when he wanted to test a new camera. It’s a trauma trigger. But I was only asking for one picture. You’d compromise for your friends, you’d compromise for your sister. You’d take pictures with them. Why wouldn’t you compromise for your partner, and the other most important person in your partners life? After a year, we have 3 pictures together, none of which are very good. I know that I was asking for a lot, but I felt so less important than everyone else in your life. Maybe you felt that as your partner, I was to be held to a higher standard? I honestly don’t know. All you said was “no”.
You admitted yourself I was so supportive. I always prioritized you. From always making your tea before mine, to giving you the better looking plate at dinner, to planting all of your favorite flowers in my garden. I always complemented you, how smart you are, how beautiful you are, how driven and independent you are. Your friend needed a ride to a 5k and someone to cheer them on? I was there. You needed someone to drive you around while your car was in the shop for 2 months? No problem. Accidentally overdrew your account again, and you couldn’t afford the late fees? Here’s $50. Need to move on short notice? I’m the guy tearing apart and moving your furniture. You have a migraine so bad you can’t eat? I’m bringing you pedialyte and sleeping on your couch, even though I didn’t actually get any sleep. I learned all your rituals so not to trigger your OCD. There are countless other examples. I never said no. I never complained. You rarely said so much as “thank you”.
The big one. The thing that ended us. You’re right, we did sit down like adults time and time again and talked things out. You said you needed me to anticipate your needs. You’d get overwhelmed, and couldn’t articulate what you needed from me. You couldn’t stand being asked what you needed. You just needed me to start helping. “Mental loads” and all that. I took that to heart. But I’m not perfect. Sometimes I’d miss the mark. Tried to support you, but in the wrong way. Even in my failures I showed effort, but you never seemed to see that. You only focused on how I failed.
We recognized that this was a problem caused by both of us. The communication wasn’t getting through. But I had already adapted to your communication style as much as I could. My exited, rambling, almost impulsive way of generating ideas became slow, methodical, thoughtful. I put intention behind everything so not to overwhelm you. I learned not to jump at the obvious solution.
Yes, we sat down like adults and talked things over time and time again. You told me what you needed from me, but I also told you what I needed from you. If I was missing the mark, please just guide me to what you needed. I’m not a mind reader. I did it for you all the time. You were honestly awful at anticipating my needs too. If I was venting, had a bad day, all you’d say was “I’m sorry”, and pat me on the back like a puppy. No effort to dig deeper. No words of support or encouragement. So I had to show you how I needed support. I just needed you to do the same for me. “No”. Again.
One final time, I sent you words of support when you were having a bad day. It wasn’t enough, you wanted more. A phone call? For me to come over so you could vent in person? Did you actually want me to directly help for once? I don’t know. You never told me. Instead of guiding me to what you needed, you immediately shut down. Full silent treatment. I’ve been in abusive relationships where the silent treatment was welded as a weapon. I know you didn’t mean it in an abusive way, you were just overwhelmed again. But I never expected it from you. I didn’t see it for what it was. I only ever asked one thing from you to save us. I put in the work, got us 80% of the way there. I knew I couldn’t bridge the gap on my own. I wasn’t even asking you to put in effort on my behalf, it was for your benefit. I begged you time and time again for help. To communicate. Not to put it all on me, because I couldn’t do it on my own. But instead, you did the opposite.
You said that you felt like you were putting more effort into the relationship than I was. I’m sorry, but I can’t see that effort. I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t. Maybe you mean you put effort into forgiving me every time I messed up? Maybe you mean that you were always planning dates, always picking what we watched, where we went, what we ate, what we drank? Again, mental loads and such. But I had things that I wanted to do and share with you that you always turned down. You only had to plan everything after my plans were rejected. It would have been more efficient for you to show love, patience, and compromise. Maybe we would have worked out then.
But you left instead.

Hello all. First time poster here. I have a question regarding if it is possible to satisfy a generic constraint using an extension method. Trying to make it short, if a generic type T has a IFoo constraint, where IFoo provides a given method Bar(), how can I use the class Abel, which does not implement IFoo, but does provide the ableInstance.Bar() method through an extension, as the T generic type?
Let me explain a bit more, with some simplistic examples (to simply expose the pattern).
Note: Sometime I tend to overcomplexify for nothing, so feel free to propose alternative ways (even if what I am looking for works).
I have some interfaces that define properties and methods that a model should have (I'll call them behavior interfaces).
```csharp
public interface IIdentifiable { public int Id { get; } }
public interface ITransformable { public TTransformed Transform(); }
```
In some classes that deal with the common business rules, I make use of these behavior interfaces to constraint the generic types. These classes are meant to be inherited to specialize the business rules for the specific models.
```csharp
public class MyGenericBusinessRule where T : IIdentifiable, ITransformable { public TTransformed ActOnBusinessRule(T model) { // [...] // Doing some stuff with the model, including accessing model.Id // [...] return model.Transform() } }
```
I implement my models using typical POCO and Extension methods. Note that the extension methods are not necessarily in the same project, more often they are close to the business rules classes above, while the model POCO classes are in their own project.
```csharp
// POCO classes public class MyModel : IIdentifiable { public int Id { get; init; } public string Name { get; init; } }
// POCO classes public class MyModelTransformed { public string OtherName { get; init; } }
// Extension methods public static class MyModelExtensions { public static MyModelTransformed Transform(this MyModel model) { return new MyModelTransformed { OtherName = model.Name }; } }
```
So, when I come to the classes that implement the specific business rules of the model is where I have my issue. Basically, when using MyModel as T in MyGenericBussinessRule, I get a Compiler Error CS0311 because (obviously!), MyModel does not implicitly satisfy the ITransformable generic constraint.
However, since my extension method does provide the implementation that (should) satisfy the ITransformable constraint, is there a way to tell explicitly to the compiler that the extension method does provide a reference conversion from 'MyModel' to 'ITransformable'?
```csharp
public class MySpecificBusinessRule : MyGenericBusinessRule // ^ Compiler Error CS0311 // The type 'MyModel' cannot be used as type parameter 'T' in the generic type or method 'MyGenericBusinessRule'. // There is no implicit reference conversion from 'MyModel' to 'ITransformable'. { // [...] }
```

Background: GF was with her ex for 5 years. He was a drunk and would manipulate, gaslight, and emotionally/mentally abuse her regularly. He lived in her house and was basically a bum, didn’t have a steady job, took her money and spent it on booze and other fun things for himself, didn’t do housework, contributed nothing basically. They parted ways romantically last May, though he continued living in the house until December 2023 when she finally kicked him out for good. We went out for the first time before the end of January and have been almost inseparable ever since. I’m a manager in a job I’ve had for years making 6 figures and I regularly help with things around the house, do not need to be asked to do things like clean up after myself/make dinnedo dishes/vacuum/etc. because I lived on my own for 15 years and know how a house works.
The issue: she is (rightfully) adamant about not being abused again, she has read many books that have been recommended on here and other subs (“The Gift of Fear”, “Why does he do that?”, etc. which I have zero issue with her reading) and is now on hyper-alert to identify manipulation tactics. The problem is that she sees a lot of the normal, innocuous, non-abusive behaviour that I exhibit as a non-perfect adult male as attempted manipulation.
Example: we were at child’s birthday party in a hall last week and shortly after we got there I was talking to the host and he mentioned to me that nothing in the hall was set up when they got there, so they had to set everything up as he gestured over to the tables/chairs/toys/play structures/etc. on the other side of the room. I spoke with her shortly afterwards and she said how good the room looked and I mentioned that the host told me they had to set everything in the room up because nothing was set up before they got there so they did the whole decorating themselves. Then at the end of the party, GF asked host if there was anything she could do to help clean up like pack the chairs or tables up and he said no the tables and chairs stay where they are and don’t need to come down, the place put them up and will take them down.
GF has been particularly avoidant/unengaged/distanced over the past week and we had a talk last night and I asked her what the deal was. She mentioned that a lot of the small, stupid things that have happened are all adding up and starting to bother her. I asked her for examples and one of the ones she gave me was the party example above; that I told her the host set everything up but that wasn’t actually true because he told her afterwards that the hall set the tables and chairs up. That, to her, is an example of attempted manipulation/gaslighting. She says when I tell her things that are lies (and that’s how she classifies them when I say something and end up being misinformed/wrong/incorrect, as lies) and she finds out they are lies then she can’t help but think that it’s the first step in me testing the waters out to become a full-fledged manipulator just like the last guy.
There have been a handful, less than 10, of examples similar to the above that she has given me since we’ve been dating to explain why she avoids me and withholds affection and gives me the silent treatment. She doesn’t bring them up on her own, I have to notice how poorly/rudely she’s treating me then after a few days of letting it go and hoping that she notices her behaviour was wrong and initiates the change/discussion herself, if that doesn’t happen then I ask her what the deal is and she tells me. I have asked her multiple times in the past to tell me those types of things right off the bat so I can provide her with my reasoning (in the case of the above example, my “reasoning” was that the host and I and GF had different definitions of “setting everything up”, apparently) in the hopes that giving her the background or explanation on why I was incorrect/misguided/etc. can ease her concerns. She said bringing it up right off the bat wouldn’t matter because I’m still trying to explain my lies. To her there is no difference between being genuinely wrong about something and purposefully lying. I am always apologetic but it doesn’t usually mean much. And that only applies to me being wrong, when she says something that’s wrong or is incorrect and I say something or show her something to prove her wrong, she usually says “I understand what you’re saying” without admitting she was wrong or apologizing. She very, very rarely apologizes for anything, even when she is categorically wrong.
This is the first relationship I’ve been in with an abuse survivor. I was raised by a single mother with my two sisters after my mom fled our abusive, drunk father. I am not and will never, ever be an abuser. I want to talk our problems out and work on them to resolve them but she is very quick to anger when we're discussing things and I don't simply give in to what she is asserting ocompletely r stating. I am trying not to take it personally and be patient with her but I don’t know how to navigate something like this where I can’t be wrong about something without it turning into an assumed abuse attempt in her mind that she silently keeps track of and “punishes” me by withholding affection or giving me the silent treatment.
In a normal relationship I would likely have been gone by now but we had such an intense and fantastic connection at the beginning that I’m willing to push through because I think we can get back there but I feel like I’m trying to make things better and she’s trying to identify faults to focus on and I don’t really know how to bridge those two things.
The rest of the relationship isn’t absolutely perfect by any means, and I don’t expect it to be, but I do expect to be able to be human and be wrong about stuff that, ultimately, means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Is that misguided on my part? Is this something I will need to navigate and deal with indefinitely? Or will she gain trust as time passes and see that I’m extremely different from the last guy?
TL;DR: GF sees being incorrect about something as intentionally lying due to her past. Trying to figure out where to go from here.

About a year ago, I [29 M] was in a toxic relationship with J [29 M]. While there were no serious stakes in it (no kids or messy finances), the relationship and breakup ended up emotionally affecting me in a way I had never really thought possible. I feel guilty because after the relationship I tried to be friends with my ex still, which I now see as a mistake in the context of this relationship, and then after a few months, he blocked me because I didn't respect a boundary he had set about not sending him long messages. He said he didn't feel safe since I "completely ignored" the boundary.
I was devastated, but over the course of the next few months, came to understand a great deal of ways that I feel that I had been abused during the relationship. I felt angrier and angrier, and even though I was seeing a therapist, it eventually boiled over. My ex had blocked me on discord and probably on text, but I went onto an astrology app called Co-Star that he had had me download, and sent a message using it that said something like, "You were an abusive partner, but you can make it right with an apology."
Now, I have no idea if he actually saw the message. It was sent with a weird feature of the app called Chaos Mode that apparently chooses to send the message at some future time, so who knows if it actually ever sent. I don't know if he still has the app, if he unfriended me, or whatnot. But I feel guilty because I enacted exactly the caricature of me that he had created--I hadn't respected his boundaries, and I sent the message anyways.
At the same time, I am still feeling very victimized by the relationship. To give you a sense of the kinds of things that were going on in the relationship, here's a few examples that I currently find a little horrific [Note: this kind of turned into a summary of the relationship after I wrote it]. I'm aware that to heal I should probably not be ruminating about these things, especially if they lead me to boil over and message him, but here you go.
The first time I had sex with him, he slammed the door on me for not being able to finish and said "finish yourself." When I came to bed, I told him I felt shame. He said "good." The next time we had sex, he set a timer for me and said I had to finish within 5 minutes. These were the first times I ever had sex. He was manipulative in bed, telling me he didn't want to perform certain acts because I didn't give him enough praise for them, so that I started exaggerating my pleasure; he blamed me for why certain positions weren't working and was frustrated with how my body worked. On top of this, he admitted at the end of the relationship to having had sex with me around five times after he decided to break up with me (before he did), which just makes me feel a bit icky.
He would put me down in pretty transparently cruel ways. One example was when I exerted myself, he said I sounded like a muppet and that he "didn't want to be dating a muppet." When I offered him a blanket but apologized that it might not have been washed in a while, he called me a baby. He would insult my ability to give complements, asking me to tell him what color his eyes are but then rejecting everything that I gave him, telling me I was bad at complements repeatedly (and saying that it wasn't fair of him because his other exes were artists, so no wonder I was bad). Now, there were times that he was complementary to me--he told me I was hot, good at singing, good at writing, smart--but also times where he would put me down for things I was less good at, like cooking.
He constantly made me feel insecure about my gender. (For context, we are both men, but he was raised as a woman). So he would make pretty sweeping feminist critiques over fairly mundane things, like if I complained when I was sick he would go off about how men are always babies when they are sick and women don't get attention. When I confronted him about some of the things he was saying, telling him that while I wanted him to express these kinds of social problems so that I could be aware and adapt, I was feeling insecure in the relationship--he flipped it around and told me that if I didn't feel loved, he could say "I love you" less, and that I hadn't been grateful enough for when he came to visit me. (I had written him poetry, deep cleaned my apartment, taken time off work, sent my roommate off for the week, bought him a bus pass, planned his visit, met him in the airport despite not having a car, and just an insane amount of work to be turned into, "you weren't grateful enough").
Other than namecalling, he was just plain controlling. The reason that the boundary around me not sending long messages exists is that when I felt insecure--which I think makes sense given the ways he would talk to me--I would often send him a few paragraphs apologizing and explaining how I was growing. Even though long messages were the first thing he said he loved about me, and that he said our communication was like magic, he eventually set up what he called an "Essay embargo" and told me not to write them. The first time he set the "embargo", he had said it was only until we met in person because he didn't want me to write anything that would make him nervous. After we met in person, I assumed the embargo had lifted. Yet shortly after, he set it again, giving a few explanations--the main one just being that he wanted to appreciate our relationship without overthinking it. It seemed playful. He definitely did also say that long messages made him uncomfortable because he felt obligated to send a response. So, when I did send messages, I would add that he didn't have to respond (which I realize is not fully respecting the boundary). I did ask after sending messages whether they were ok and he never responded to those questions.
Despite this, there were times during the relationship that I continued to send long, often apologetic messages. I had felt like this boundary was set playfully and I also was feeling overwhelming guilt that I, for whatever reason, needed his affirmation for. I am conflicted because on the one hand, I was definitely ignoring his boundary--but on the other, I feel like the boundary was not very thoughtful of my own needs, either.
Prior to the breakup, it was hell. He was getting angry at me for everything--for pretty mundane things like using the bathroom before him and stinking it up. He told me he had to show me how to do everything, but I realize now that a lot of this was just him being particular (e.g, he told me I don't know how to drink tea because I left the bag in, when I just like it strong). Unfortunately, I had flown 5,000 miles to visit him and was sort of trapped in his proximity, and was drunk on love still since I was trying very hard, it was my first relationship, and he had sold me on notions of fairytale romance and told me we were cosmically meant to be together and other lovebomby sort of things. At one point, he missed a turn while driving with GPS and got angry at me for not helping--he disconnected his phone and threw it sideways at me (I guess so I could navigate for him, but it was a pretty retaliatory motion). We flew to a convention and I met some of his friends, and at one point he introduced me to a girl he had almost dated before, saying I was a friend and not a partner. I pointed this out to him later and he just said "does that make you angry?". He flirted with a woman at a party, telling her she was pretty while demanding that i bring him snacks (I feel so, so weak for not confronting him about this). He got drunk and I stayed with him as he passed out, but he was angry at me in the morning. When one of his friends told me they thought I was nice, because i was opening doors for everyone, my ex said "Is he really?" Questioning them.
The breakup itself was cold and calculated. He started it by telling me that he thought about not giving me any reasons for the breakup because I always overanalyze things. He told me he wouldn't have broken up with me if I was a woman. He told me I didn't take care of him and he needs a partner that takes care of him, and that his partners always feel taken care of. He threw some things I had said at the beginning of the relationship back at me--misquoting and misunderstanding them.
After the relationship, I had no idea what to think. It was my first relationship. It had started with fairytale romance. I had been passing his tests, I had been an exception to his long string of abusive relationships. He presented himself as this incredibly moral person (vegan, environmentally conscious, telling me of all of the ways others had abused him that he would never do, even his closest friends). I had completely internalized criticisms that he had had of me throughout the relationship, many of which had led to serious self reflection and my writing messages about my growth. Within a week I told him I still loved him and that I always would. He reminded me of his boundary around long messages and said they made him anxious. I was desperate. We took a few weeks of no-contact. We messaged short-messages back and forth, with a few life-updates to eachother each. He told me he was rescuing a kitten that he found, and I remembered how he could be kind.
But as I processed, more and more, I felt angry. I wrote unsent angry letters in the notes app on my phone for a month. I wrote myself a 20,000 word summary of the relationship. This was not a healthy way to process. It elevated me. (Some of you will probably comment that maybe I shouldn't have written this post for the same reason, but oh well--I wanted to process and I want to hear if others have similar stories). Meanwhile, my ex kept pushing back the date for when we would verbally connect again. Eventually, I boiled over. I did not insult him. But I wrote a long message explaining that I wanted to take 3 months of no-contact. I had entered another relationship and told him that even though I was feeling angry at him, he shouldn't be worried because even though I had baggage from the relationship, I was communicating well with my new partner. I also told him that I felt like if I did talk with him, that I would end up tearing him a new one, and that I needed time to cool down. I'm not proud of the message in general, but I didn't call names, tell him he was awful, or anything like that. I was just insensitive and told him I was angry.
And like that, I was blocked. It was over. A period of about 9 months, five of which we were together, with two before escalating towards love bombing and two after escalating towards my boiling over.
And yet, I had never expressed to him that I thought he had been abusive. I felt frustrated that I had told him that I would always love him, when in many ways now I hated him.
Five months passed, during which I came to realize more and more how messed up the relationship was.
And then I sent the message on Co-star.
Fast forward another four months to now.
I just sent him a text, knowing he probably has blocked me there too. It said something like, "I want my last message to you just be: I'm sorry, and I forgive you." I wanted to free myself. I needed to not feel angry at him or ashamed of myself. I needed to not feel like I had a million things to say to him--I needed to just say, this is it: I'm not sending more messages. I'm sorry, and I forgive you. It was for myself. I was forgiving him selfishly, even though he didn't deserve it, so that I could move on.
I feel like I shouldn't have sent this, but I don't feel bad about it yet, either. I needed closure. It always felt like there was some "message I could send" to detail his abuse, and I needed to not have that standing over me--I needed to forgive. I am now oscillating between wondering about myself--whether I have a problem with boundaries, since I had boiled over at this point three times to message him. Feeling frustrated I didn't assert myself about his abuse, that I doubled down on loving him. Part of me is glad that I sent the message on Co-Star saying that he was abusive, because it was the only indication I ever gave him, really, that what he did wasn't ok to me--he had blocked me before I could articulate anything. But I also know that this message even if received would not mean anything to him.
Anyways, now I'm venting about it here on Reddit. Does anyone have similar experiences surrounding self control messaging exes and feeling a bit out of control?

I'm wondering how everyone has their structure setup for the files that they store on their NAS' setup. Specifically information that they want to backup and information they don't. For example, I have a bunch of Plex media in a samba share under a parent folder called Media with some other Media related items in them such as Digital Signatures, or Computer Wallpapers.
Every week, I do a full backup of my NAS to an external drive (Along with an offsite backup) and the time it takes to backup these files is a long time. A lot of my space comes from Plex media, which I don't care if it gets backed up every week as I could just manually do that every couple months or so. In short, what does everyone's folder structures for their NAS look like and how do they take care of their backups?

Random thought I want to get folks feedback on.
During my dating history I know there are things I can improve on to be a better partner. For example being more patient, giving, compassionate, supportive, and forgiving. i contribute part of reason why my relationships failed to my short comings. But what happens if I become all of those and a fantastic partner only to find out it’s still not enough. And how do I come back from that? The feeling that I gave it all and my best only to get bamboozled? And feeling stupid and hurt and extremely disappointed? I feel like I’ll be closed up forever and never want to give my best self again as self protection. So if it fails, it doesn’t feel as bad.
How do you get over that feeling so you can show up in a relationship with positive mindset and give your 100% without expecting a desired outcome?

My workplace has recently got a new general manager (in charge of everyone). He is being completely horrible to most people and bringing the morale of the hotel right down. For example, ignoring staff, telling managers to drop all of their casual workers to drop costs which is then causing the managers to be overworked, completely blanking staff and saying derogatory “jokes”. I’m the financial controller so there’s little that I can do from a people perspective but every night I leave work almost in tears after listening to how they’ve been treated that day/how short staffed they’re being made to work that night. I’ve tried voicing it to the hr manager and ops manager but nothing has changed since. The whole building is completely depressed as a result of this man and his right hand man who he’s brought in. Any advice on how to help everyone? He’s okay with me as he needs his figures and I have a lot of respect from above property but he does make his jokes to me but I can handle that.

Hii! I'm doing a bloxburg rp ( my house ) and the roles are:
Mum ( AKA me,35yrs,named Sophie but Soph for short )
Dad( maybe,aged 37,named Alex or any other boys names )
1 teen ( called Olivia but Liv for short, 16yrs)
2 kids ( can be boy and girl, aged 11,named Alison or Ali for short and Jake )
1 baby or toddler ( boy or girl idm, if boy then namd either Hudson,Teddy,Max,Leo or Louis , 1yr , can't walk and can kind of talk ) If girl then named: Riley,Milley or Carly ( again, 1yr,can't walk but can kind of talk )
Sophie-Loves going to the gym,loves to be fun but still strict,single (if no one wants to be dad but other wise married),kind
Alex-Works a lot in the evenings,brunet,always takes the kids to the beach on Saterdays,very kind
Liv- Brunet,loves hanging out with friends and sneaks out sometimes,addicted to ticktock,eldest sibling,doing her GCSE's
Alison-Blonde,kind,loves to go to ballet and swimming,loves playing with friends and going on the trampoline,twins with Jake but is the elder twin
Jake-Brunet,kind,loves football,loves gaming with his friends,twins with Alison but is the younger twin
If you would like to be the baby or toddler pls comment as well as with all of the other characters and if I should do a post doing the other characters for example friends or family ext and type your roblox user name and your display name if you have one,my roblox user name is Limebelle20 and my display name is IH3ARTGLOSSY
*REMEMBER: Please do not get up set if you don't get in the rp there is many more characters i need for my rp that you can maybe have a chance to be!*

We will be playing a modified Tomb of Annihilation campaign on [Roll20], the modifications include minor or major changes to locations, characters, motivations and storylines but will not alter the rules of 5e or stray too far from what is generally known about the Forgotten realms. I will also add new locations and will adjust existing things around player characters.
The most important aspect of the game is the fact your characters will be "origin' characters akin to those found in Baldur's Gate 3, essentially they are concepts deeply tied to the campaign. The goal is to have every character feel like the main character.
At its core ToA is a hexcrawl meaning there will be survival aspects and a lot of travelling through mostly uncharted wilderness with random encounters, a majority of which will have been determined randomly. You might get lost and end up not talking to anyone else for a few days, you most likely will have a guide though and a few npcs following along.
Despite this I prefer D&D when it has "soul", I don't have fun playing 5e like a plain boardgame so expect roleplay and even combat should be tied to some narrative, actions should be described in detail. Most of the time in a session will be spend in-character and hopefully immersed.
I will make sure the random encounters always have something unique about them like a strange new creature, a small story or a connection to a player, I'll reroll any that repeat to often and curate them as a whole.
I like my players to be mindful of everyone present at the table, being in the spotlight shouldn't be a struggle and you should always try to involve someone else when doing things, even if it's just asking questions about another character's culture at camp. You know when to shut up and when to speak up. Answer the last question with "Cheese"
The game will never be completely divorced from the central plot in favor of a player character but my goal is to have your personal story be in-line with the main one, for example by having the bbeg be your childhood rival.
This game will contain all sorts of violence and darker things but I do not intend on running a game centered around those aspects, if anything it'll be the opposite as I believe player characters should be special and although not all of them can succeed they have a chance at making great things happen. No ERP.
I've DMed and played for about 4 years now, I've run and played this module several times which I why I'm confident enough to make changes and additions to it.
To apply fill in the following form:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScwMSzcKeMxrIKZKq9dZopK_hzH75l4ol49xO820lmXOtf4UA/viewform?usp=sf_link
If I like your application I'll contact you on discord for a short call after which I'll know whether or not you'll be a good fit, you'll be able to ask any questions you might have during this call, having questions ready is always a +.

I(28m) still live with my mom due to my disabilities and i have 2 other siblings that live about an hour away. Our upbringing was pretty rough and our mom can be at times manipulative. For example when we were children she quite often threatened to unalive herself to forbid us to open the door(because of CPS)Or she told us that if we were gone that she would unalive herself. So me and my siblings had to pretend our entire childhood to be a happy family. We lied to her because it was necessary (told her that she was a good mom). The only reason my siblings still have contact to my mom at this point is because of me. She had a rough upbringing too and raised us by herself.
I think that should be enough context
The current issue started on Mothersday. My siblings and me have a groupchat and choose to gift her a candle because my sister is currently short on money. It was wrapped and all.
On mothersday once i woke up i said the phrase "good mothersday" and presented her the gift and told her it comes from us all. She took the gift and told me the scent is wrong but she will take it. At this point her mood seemed neutral so i thought nothing of it. However after my siblings haven't written anything until 1pm (probably because they have children that need to be taken care of) she left the familygroupchat without elaborating. I mean besides the "thanks for the candle."
At about 3pm my brother wrote in the siblings-groupchat that he is done with her and so did my sister. She will no longer be able to see her grandchildren (which she barely visited anyway , even while having the possibility to do so). So i had the possibility to tell her something but i didn't.
I understand the reaction of my siblings and that the leaving of the family groupchat can be interpreted in a way that my mom no longer wants to be part of their lives. That they are sick and tired of this constant drama. They gave her a lot of chances and she blew it everytime.
After Mothersday was over she told me that i was the only one that cares about her and she is really disappointed about the behaviour of my siblings. As far as i know her she wants me to tell my siblings that they should apologize. I told it to them and they found it funny because to them it's a double win. They get their peace from this women without doing anything and she won't bother me which was still a concern for them ( each of them even offerd a room/couch to sleep if she rages on me).
Now i know it sounds harsh but i don't feel anything for my mom neither hate of love. If she would die i would probably not care at all about her passing but it would be a hassle to manage it. I pretend to "love" her in order to live peacefully and i will move out after my therapy (probably next year).
She still has no idea that she will never be able to see any of her grandchildren again .
And once i move out she will no longer have any family left. Imagining her all by herself kind of makes me feel like an a-hole.
So AITAH for not telling her that she should have done something in order to fix the situation?

Dear SiMadam Maple Hams,
A lot of these claims are not the fault of the Naval Experience Program (herein referred to as the NEP).
The NEP has no control over the activities of PAT platoon units. If these units do not place their Sailors into their next courses - then they are failing their own sailors.
I know a lot of actual sailors who have been wasting away on pat platoon waiting for their initial trade course to start.
This has been normal since time immemorial. It was bad during COVID because measures were in place and courses were outright cancelled, but prior to that - most trades were running 1-2 courses per year. Now some trades are running 3 courses a year.
I would also like to point out that NEP candidates cannot compete with any sailors waiting for their trades course because NEP candidates first have to actually sign a contract after picking a trade. Once they pick a trade, they will have to wait with the rest of these Sailors in PAT platoons.
Now I’m seeing 1 year contract NEPs, with no trade and no requirement to extend, getting NETP before actual sailors.
Also not the NEP's fault. Any unit can nominate a Sailor for NETP. You can email the NFS(A/P) NETP Booking Cell and the people there are very nice and helpful and will happily load Sailors. All you need to do is ask for the course list, pick a course date, fill in the form with the Sailor's name, rank, and service number - and boom. That Sailor is loaded.
Between May 16 and October 01 of this year, there are a total 8 NETP Courses scheduled and are capable of handling maybe 20-25 Sailors.
And the sad fact is... They have had to beg units for people to enroll - otherwise they would have to cancel the course... I know for a fact they had to cancel two courses this year already, so if you personally know any units that have Sailors that need NETP, then please give them a call!
They’re doing dive courses, I even heard of some attending clearance diver selection (might be a rumour), before actual sailors who have been requesting it for years.
For the third time, this is also not the NEP program's fault, nor is it outside their control.
FDU(A/P) publishes a list of scheduled courses every year. Rescue Swimmer, Port Inspection Diver, Supervisor Courses, Ship's Team Diver, Clearance Diver - you name it.
A person interested in this course must first submit a memo through their chain of command, Dive Officer, and complete a checklist with their unit's Health Services to pass Dental and Part 1 and 2 medicals (actual requirements vary depending on the course).
This process can last weeks to several months - and that depends on how much support a Sailor gets from their CoC and Health Services unit.
Now again, like the NETP situation if units do not support their Sailor's applications, then that Sailor goes no where. The NEP is not actively nudging these Sailors off courses.
If anything, the NEP is actually making some of these courses possible because FDU(A/P) is not getting enough people who are properly processed with completed checklist to actually show up ready for the courses!
So far this year 1 course almost got cancelled - but because the NEP was able to provide bodies, they were able to run the course!
As I write this, a course in June is also currently in jeopardy of being cancelled due to not having enough enrollees.
The NEP is actually at the back of thr priority list. First are ships, then individual applicants, and lastly somewhere are the NEP.
So no, the NEP is not stealing spots off Sailors who have been waiting years for their dive course.... The NEP is doing everything right within their power to make sure their candidates have gone through official channels to get their applications and checklists completed, and by doing so, providing enough bodies for FDU to actually run courses.
And yes - one NEP candidate from the East Coast and one from the West Coast have completed Clearance Diver training.
One did not get selected however, but that is the Clearance Diver unit's perogative. (Its called Selection after all).
But can you really fault these two NEP candidates for passing a physically and mentally demanding course...?
The programme is a complete ruse designed to make these people have a fun year that they can brag about to their friends and hopefully they’ll sign a real contract.
Not gonna lie, that is the intention.
We want sailors. We NEED sailors.
If it gets them through the door of recruiting, and if they sign a new contract to continue being in the Navy - then by all metrics the program is working.
And so far, I have seen only 1 person out of 75 that has voluntarily released in the 1 year this program has run.
Morale in the fleet is getting beat down lower everyday and watching these people come in and take your spot on the course or sail you’ve been dying to get isn’t doing any favours.
If the argument is that *"NEP candidates are having fun, but people in the fleet aren't" *then something else is wrong in the fleet, and the NEP is not the cause of that - with the reasons I have listed above.
Each and every unit, ship, and organization within the CAF and the fleet are near seperate entities - each with their own challenges.
Saying that the NEP is making life worse for these units has no basis in reality. The NEP is not all knowing, nor does it have the power to make random people's lives miserable.
It's like saying HMCS Montreal is having fun sailing, while HMCS Frdericton and HMCS Chalottetown are sad because their ships are broken. It doesn't make sense.
It doesn’t even make any sense for the navy to be spending the money on these people getting courses they don’t need.
First off, the way the military does things is we are given a budget at the start of the fiscal year.
This budget is identified and allocated way in advance of an intented purpose.
For example, the CAF is given a budget. This budget divided between the Army, Navy, and Air Force. This is further divided into other units within these branches.
The Navy and the CAF has identified the need to create a program to encourage civilians to join the Navy, and retain them after their initial contract. The Government has approved this program and allocated a portion of this years' budget to fund this program.
This program, the NEP, is doing its best with the money allocated to them to ensure that the sailors under their care are taken care of and given enough positive experience so that they hopefully willingly sign another contract, so that our Navy has enough Sailors in the future to sail our ships and complete our missions.
If we don't move heaven and earth to get these Sailors now - then even people who have joined the Navy normally like you and me will be unable to sail in the future because ships are just severely undermanned.
Also I would like to share a personal anecdote...
My RQS3 course had 12 people. Of those 12, after four years 6 had left the forces due to one reason or another.
In my trade, you can apply for a Specialist skill within a Specialist trade.
The Navy will train you and fly you to whatever ship to complete your course. Basically whatever is needed to ensure you pass that course.
All you have to do is study hard.
I have seen people who pass this course - and then end up not sailing and then they lose their qualification.
This, after the Navy spent so much resources, money, and man hours into getting these Sailors qualified, but then they just up and decide this isn't for them.
The argument of "why are these NEP candidates getting this and that when they leave anyway?" is severely misguided when you and I both know there are already people in the Navy who throw away opportunity to the winds...
So hopefully dear SiMa'am Maple Hams, please reconsider your opinion on the program.
In short, the NEP is not stealing resources from othe units.
The NEP is operating within the resources and mandate given to them - and in some cases, actually directly or indirectly contributing to the success of other units in the Navy by providing an investment of manpower that we badly need.
If we were like other NATO countries, then I would argue that this program is unnecessary if we consider the option of outright mandatory military service and conscription.
But we are not like those other countries, and we do not have the option of conscription...
So we have this program instead.
For your consideration, SiMa'am.
PS, I would personally like to extend my thanks to the crews and personnel of the following units for supporting the NEP program:
HMCS St. John's (they have been our most supportive unit).
HMCS Ville de Quebec (thank you for taking time off your busy schedule for allowing job shadowing for the NEP candidates).
HMCS Chalottetown (thank you for taking care of our candidates during your deployment. we know the sea state between Iceland and Halifax was bad, but that didnt let your crew from throwing the NEP candidates to the side).
HMCS Harry Dewolf (your willingless to employ NEP candidates allowed them to become familiar with the platform, and sets the candidates up for success)
NFS(A) Scheduling and Booking Cells (you have always accomodated our requests and has never let us down when we needed help)
Tribute Tower Galley (thank you for employing our candidates and for providing them with delicious food - some of our candidates have never eaten this well in their life)
Juno Tower Accomodations and Booking Cell (you are the first people we contact to get our NEP candidates set up after CFLRS, and without your help we wouldn't even be able to do anything)
CFB Halifax Dockyard Gym and CFB Shearwater Gym (thank you for accomodating our fitness related requests, including letting us borrow the gym so our candidates can see what it is like to swim for their life before they apply for courses)
FDU Atlantic and Pacific (we apologize if we had sent people who were not physically able to complete the courses you offer - to be fair, they are really hard, but we are working on making the quality of people we offer to send better. Hopefully we can continue sending candidates to fill in courses so they do not get cancelled).
Clothing Stores (thank you for setting up our candidates with their kit!)
Base Logistics, Maritime Operations Group, Fleet Padre's office, Fleet Master Sailor and Junior's Mess, FMF Cape Scott, Halifax MFRC, SISIP, PCC(A/P), Health Services Stadacona, TEME, CFLRS, Recruiting, Public Affairs, MARLANT/MARPAC, and the various units all over - for reasons too many to list, we thank you for supporting the program in all the unique ways you do.
Despite what some may say about the Naval Experience Program - all of you have given the program all the support the program could ask for and more.
If you all didn't care, then we wouldn't be here.
Disclaimer: These are my own opinions and does not reflect the official position of the NEP, the Navy, the CAF, or the Government of Canada.

We will be playing a modified Tomb of Annihilation campaign on [Roll20], the modifications include minor or major changes to locations, characters, motivations and storylines but will not alter the rules of 5e or stray too far from what is generally known about the Forgotten realms. I will also add new locations and will adjust existing things around player characters.
The most important aspect of the game is the fact your characters will be "origin' characters akin to those found in Baldur's Gate 3, essentially they are concepts deeply tied to the campaign. The goal is to have every character feel like the main character.
At its core ToA is a hexcrawl meaning there will be survival aspects and a lot of travelling through mostly uncharted wilderness with random encounters, a majority of which will have been determined randomly. You might get lost and end up not talking to anyone else for a few days, you most likely will have a guide though and a few npcs following along.
Despite this I prefer D&D when it has "soul", I don't have fun playing 5e like a plain boardgame so expect roleplay and even combat should be tied to some narrative, actions should be described in detail. Most of the time in a session will be spend in-character and hopefully immersed.
I will make sure the random encounters always have something unique about them like a strange new creature, a small story or a connection to a player, I'll reroll any that repeat to often and curate them as a whole.
I like my players to be mindful of everyone present at the table, being in the spotlight shouldn't be a struggle and you should always try to involve someone else when doing things, even if it's just asking questions about another character's culture at camp. You know when to shut up and when to speak up. Answer the last question with "Cheese"
The game will never be completely divorced from the central plot in favor of a player character but my goal is to have your personal story be in-line with the main one, for example by having the bbeg be your childhood rival.
This game will contain all sorts of violence and darker things but I do not intend on running a game centered around those aspects, if anything it'll be the opposite as I believe player characters should be special and although not all of them can succeed they have a chance at making great things happen. No ERP.
I've DMed and played for about 4 years now, I've run and played this module several times which I why I'm confident enough to make changes and additions to it.
To apply fill in the following form:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScwMSzcKeMxrIKZKq9dZopK_hzH75l4ol49xO820lmXOtf4UA/viewform?usp=sf_link
If I like your application I'll contact you on discord for a short call after which I'll know whether or not you'll be a good fit, you'll be able to ask any questions you might have during this call, having questions ready is always a +.

My workplace has recently got a new general manager (in charge of everyone). He is being completely horrible to most people and bringing the morale of the hotel right down. For example, ignoring staff, telling managers to drop all of their casual workers to drop costs which is then causing the managers to be overworked, completely blanking staff and saying derogatory “jokes”. I’m the financial controller so there’s little that I can do from a people perspective but every night I leave work almost in tears after listening to how they’ve been treated that day/how short staffed they’re being made to work that night. I’ve tried voicing it to the hr manager and ops manager but nothing has changed since. The whole building is completely depressed as a result of this man and his right hand man who he’s brought in. Any advice on how to help everyone? He’s okay with me as he needs his figures and I have a lot of respect from above property but he does make his jokes to me but I can handle that.