Constantly talking confusion insomnia la

I live in AZ and my license is currently suspended. I qualified for a restricted drivers permit that only allows me to drive to work, school, and doctors appointments. The MVD only issued me a paper copy and said I should get a physical plastic copy in the mail. The plastic copy It NEVER came in the mail. When I called the DMV, I was informed they only issue paper copies because plastic copies can not list what those restrictions are. I'm very confused. I'm eligible to get full driving privileges back next month. I'm worried not having the necessary document (if at all) will affect me. Also concerned the DMV gave me incorrect information. Can anyone clarify if this has also been your experience? I just want to know if it's only a paper copy you received or if you actually got a plastic copy in the mail? Again im not talking about a regular license, im talking about a restricted driving permit that will usually only allow you to travel to work, school, dr visits. Answering this would be appreciated. Thank you!

I have a doctor ordered prescription set before my surgery. My surgery is on may 24th and if I don’t take this medication beforehand I have to delay the appointment which I REALLY would not like to do.
So they sent it to the wrong rite aid, and I wasn’t able to get it, that’s fine, I just call my doctor and order a renewal and make it super clear where the address of the rite aid is.
I get a call from rite aid that they got the prescription but they don’t have any of it in stock and need to order it. This was about the end of April. Im constantly checking back and they have no idea what I’m talking about.
So like what the hell? This is like the mystery medication that just can’t appear anywhere I’m losing my mind. It’s not even anything crazy, it’s the laxative you take before a colonoscopy.
So my question is this. Is this medication notorious to get your hands in or is my local rite aid run by people who don’t know what they’re doing?

I became a NASCAR fan in my late 20s, it was an acquired taste after watching a close Daytona 500 and giving the sport a chance the following week, etc. It eventually overtook my passion for other sports. I enjoyed the mechanical explanations the most, suddenly I realized this was a sport for engineers. Because of this, I'm always thinking of how the media (namely FOX) presents the sport to intrigued potential fans, particularly this season when the racing has been really good.
I'm really tired of hearing Bowyer and Harvick talk so much about "Well, in the old (previous) car..." which seems to be at least twice a stage, if not more. I think it's confusing to new fans as well as irrelevant-- what we have now is what matters; it's why the intrigued possibly future fans are tuning in! So many other things they could talk about without making everything a comparison to the "old car." Curious people aren't tuning in to hear a comparison to a previous version of racing; they can go to the podcasts Reddit for that... (and why not mention the existence of a Reddit board and those podcasts during the broadcast as well, come to think of it?).
Any new or NASCAR-curious fans reading this now that agree, or do you not find it annoying?

I broke up with them a couple months ago… (we were together for 3+ years) but we finally went no contact after they called me a couple days ago, and were upset about some of the choices I made during our breakup.
I don’t want to go into a lot of detail but, I made my fair share of mistakes within the relationship. We both did. I decided to use the time we were apart to work on myself, or at least that’s what the plan was. I think I just have a dependency issue tbh… I started talking to someone else almost immediately after we broke up, and my ex was upset after finding out about it & decided to go no contact.
That was a huge wake up call for me, and now I’m just left confused and saddened with myself. We had our issues but, they loved and cherished me a lot. Something I’m afraid I’ll never be able to find again. I feel unworthy of such love, and that’s just something I’ve always felt within our relationship. Like I wasn’t worthy or deserving of them.
I don’t want to contact them. I don’t feel like I have the right, and I definitely don’t think that after everything that happened between us, that contacting them is what they need. What either of us need.
All in all, I guess I’m just looking for support on how to rekindle my own love for myself so, that I can actually start making strides to improve my own life, without feeling like I need someone to lean on.
I started working out about 3 months ago but, I don’t know what else to do. I just started a new job (first day of training was today) and I have my own goals to get a career in PT. Other than when I’m working, or doing something with my family, I keep coming back to the thought of how disappointed I am in myself. Is that normal? I feel like I let them, and myself down. I just want to be happy but I don’t even remember what happy looks like without them in my life, it’s been so long.

I love my bf a lot. I spend most of my time at his house and I basically live with him. The other day he told me he wants space and isn’t ready to live together. When I ask to go home he gets upset and doesn’t want me to leave but then he says he needs space and wants me to go home because he isn’t ready to live together. He constantly flips what he says every few minutes.
Yesterday we were talking about our relationship and him needing space but then he wanted me to bring more of my stuff over and move me into his house even more.
Earlier he said he needed space but then got upset when I went off to do my own thing. He then said he wanted me to go home but needed a minute to think about whether he wants me to stay or not. I am getting a ride home from a friend in a bit and when I told him he got sad and wanted me to stay but then 10 minutes later he wanted me to leave again.
I’m getting tired of constantly having to guess what he wants. He does this with more than just us living together. I honestly don’t know what to do.
We’ve been together for 2 months and Ik it is way to early for us to be moving into together. I am not trying to move in with him and I miss being home with my cat in my room and in my own bed. I am also not ready to move in with him full time. I just don’t understand what he wants me to do. One second he wants me to live with him but then the next second he doesn’t want me at his house at all. He has assured me that I am not doing anything wrong and it is nothing like that. He also said he doesn’t understand what he wants to do either. I’m trying my best here. Any advice on what to do?
Tldr; my bf wants me to leave and give him space but next second changes his mind and wants me to stay.

36/f ignoring a lifetime of issues that are just getting worse and I keep getting told my blood tests look good so go on the fodmap diet for IBS. I was talking to a client at work and he said I sound like his wife who has fibromyalgia. I’d honestly never really heard of it and after looking into it, I have EVERY damn symptom. My body is always so stiff, I’m exhausted no matter how much I sleep.. my joints hurt constantly, I have heart palpitations but the holter test was fine,, blood work has been fine although iron, b12, and hemoglobin are low (borderline anemic). My jaw clicks, my ears ring, I get headaches from neck pain.. my back is always so sore. The only time I feel “okay” is if I literally lay in a ball and don’t move and stare at my phone to distract myself, or if I’m in a really hot bath. I can’t focus on anything and feel like I’m high/buzzed half the time.. like my eyes just won’t focus. Recently, I’ve almost passed out twice (laid down before I went down) and it’s beginning to scare the shit out of me. i have two young’s kids I’m trying to be present for and I’m struggling to manage it all. I have an appt with my doctor tomorrow because I almost fainted during an appt with a client on the weekend, but I’m becoming increasingly more anxious about it, as I’m constantly gaslit by doctors. Do I straight up just say I think I have Fibromyalgia?? How did you find out for sure?? Thanks so much reading!

I live in Lake Balboa (Encino/Van Nuys/Reseda area) and love going to restaurants, museums, vintage shops, and flea markets. I'm 46, 5'10", 180 lbs - a total dad-bod. Glasses, bearded, balding. Full time employed, professional, sane, own a home and walk around the lake on nice summer days. I can fold a fitted sheet, keep a plant or two alive more than a month, and cook a delicious meal without burning the place down. I'm solo-poly/ENM, partnered but looking for someone fun and chill to do some exploring around LA without the expectations of a traditional relationship/riding the escalator.
My work had kept me busy in my younger years, now I have more freedom and realize I live in this awesome city and have barely seen any of it. Are you an expert tour guide who I can go with to all the great sights around this town?
Do you know where the best burger and dive bar are in a 5-mile radius of any random point in LA County? If so, please, write me. Right now.
I'm open to a wide spectrum of possible relationship parameters. I've found in the past, I work best with someone who already has a primary, or at least is not expecting me to fill the role of their primary. And I'm not expecting you to be my primary either. Beyond that, let's talk and see where life takes us. Open to all ages and dynamics.
Introverted (most likely ISTJ if that's anything to you), into board games, video games, pinball, sci-fi movies, and bad TV shows (I'll binge Australian Survivor and The Traitors endlessly). I'm also into photography (architectural, street, and landscapes, mainly). My last best vacation was to Hawaii, and looking to travel more, of course. Very laid-back and easy going. Voracious learner.
Want to know more? Ask questions, I'm friendly :)

I'll explain why and how the fight started. Please tell me if I am in the wrong or if I should apologise and get back together.
The story:
I took a break from working for like a couple months. Since I am "free", my partner wants me to spend time with them mostly and wants all my attention. We have been going out for almost a year now.
So, we hang out for like 8 hours a day (my partner works from home). Once I get back home, they will facetime me after dinner and we talk until we sleep. But I don't get to do anything I want to.
They usually don't like me spending time with my friends. We have gotten into a lot of arguments cuz I'm on call with my friends while they try to call.
The actual conflict:
My friend had her birthday a week ago. I don't hang out with my friends that often cuz I am always with my partner. So, my friends made this birthday party plan a month prior to get everyone on board. This plan wasn't even a full day plan. It was like a half day plan and we'd get home in the evening.
When we go out with friends, we usually don't know what we're gonna do. We make plans as we go. So, We didn't make a detailed plan. We just knew we're going to the beach. That's it.
So, I told my partner about this and they were okay. But on the day I was supposed to go to the party, they started asking me questions about where we are going, what we'll be doing and everything.
Them asking questions was not a problem for me. I answered everything. But they felt as if I did not want to share that information to them and that's why I didn't tell them myself.
When I told them we don't know what we'd be doing, they were like, "you just don't wanna share it with me. It's fine. You made the plan anyway right?". I did not make the plan. And when I tried to prove it to them that we did not have a solid plan that day. They did not even want to hear me out.
My partner clearly did not want me to go. So, I texted the birthday girl that I won't be joining them. She understood that my partner is that way.
Meanwhile, my partner and I started screaming at each other. One thing led to another and finally when they said "dont cancel your plans for me, go, be with your awesome friends".
I got fed up. My friends have been with me for over 10 years. They understand what type of situation I'm in. You still pull their leg in our fight?
I just told them "my friends are awesome whether you like it or not". That's it. They slammed a chair against the wall.
I was frustrated and was done with this shit. I just told them that we're breaking up and left.
I did not know where to go. I wanted to cry. My parents were at my home. I haven't told them about my partner. So, I called my friend and asked if could come over
She was getting ready to go out. I went there, cried for more than an hour. And my friend said "look, you have been crying for so long. They haven't tried to call or text you at all. They blocked you on insta. Enough is enough. Come with us"
So, I went with them to the beach. Meanwhile, my partner started calling me. I was with the friends of the birthday girl. So, I didn't answer the call cuz I know my partner would scream at me. And I was not ready for that call infront of strangers.
They kept calling me non stop and when I finally answered. They told me they were waiting outside my house. When I told them I came with my friends they started yelling, screaming, cursing.
I took my stance and told them it's over. But they still kept calling and told me that they are the only one fighting for this relationship. They started to self harm themselves and that made me leave my friends and book a cab to their place.
Even while I was on the cab they still called me names. Asked me not to come. They said " took you long enough to leave your awesome friends and look at me"
After a while I couldn't take it anymore and i just went straight home.
Then, they got even angry and pulled up outside my house. Remember, my parents came to visit. So, they were Standing outside. I asked them to come in and have a convo, they refused. My mom and dad came out and invited them in. They still refused.
They told me, "you went out to the beach with your friends right? I want you to come to the beach with me right now". (P.s. it was 10pm at the time)
I didn't go. And it made them even mad. They started cussing and said I prioritise my friends over them.
This fight happened for about 30 mins before they left. Then we didn't speak for a while.
After few days, we made up. They told me that I don't love them enough and constantly compared me to their ex's.
Yesterday, they found an insta reel that my friend posted of that day in the beach. I didn't tell them about it cuz I didn't want to start a fight again. We both knew that this topic brought conflict. My partner saw the reel and said "I was miserable that day and you had fun???"
I was miserable that day too. The girls at the party who I barely knew also were asking me if something was wrong or if they could help. I actually ruined their party. I was crying. Always on the phone with my partner cuz they kept on calling.
But my partner now thinks I have betrayed them while they stayed loyal cuz they've never been loyal to any of their ex's. They tell me I have never been grateful of them. That I was enjoying while they were miserable trying to hurt themself.
I did try to have a conversation about this. But they won't understand my side of the story.
And when I told them I can't keep coming to their place every single day cuz I need to take care of some stuff. They flip out saying "you be with your family. You be with your awesome friends. Don't ever come to me. Why do you need me anyway"
When I facetimed them today, they faced the camera to the wall and never spoke a word. And finally, they sent a text saying that they will stop everything they did for me. And left a good bye message.
Now, back to the question:
Please tell me if I am in the wrong or if I should apologise and get back together????

I'm 41, on estrogen and cyclic progestin. I was prescribed HRT when I turned 39, I was experiencing severe hot flashes, mood swings, sleep disturbance, insomnia, vaginal dryness. I started HRT 4 months after my last period. About a year into it, I decided to stop HRT to see if I would experience a natural period. 5 months into it, there was no period and I couldn't deal with my symptoms any longer so I went back on HRT.
At the beginning of this year I decided to skip the 2 weeks of progestin because I was away on a "summer" holiday and didn't want a period. I got my period while on holiday (on the exact day that I would have had my period if I took progestin!).
I continued on progestin the following months as I would normally and just like clockwork, the withdrawal bleeds would also emerge. 2 weeks ago I did the same thing, I went on a 2-week "summer" vacation so I skipped progestin again. I was greeted this morning with - my period! I've been experiencing migraines the past few days (this used to be my primary PMS symptom indicative of the fast-approaching period).
I'm so confused, is this a natural period? I was going to get back on progestin as soon as I returned back home but looks like my period beat me to it. It's not going to be possible for me to find out if I'm officially menopausal at any point because I honestly don't see myself stopping HRT in the next few years. But is it safe to say I'm still perimenopausal?

Hello all,
I’m about to purchase a new car and my budget got a little larger then I first thought it was (able to trade in my old car when I thought I had to give it to my sister). As a kid I’ve always loved Sti’s but don’t know how to drive manual and honestly don’t plan on learning. I live in LA and most of the time in bumper to bumper traffic when commuting to work. As of right now, I’m sure I just want to have an automatic. Now this leads me to a tricky spot because the more I look into/ talk to people they tell CVT sti are not worth it. While doing some more research, I also fell in love with the Mazda 3 hatchback turbo. Long story short, is an automatic STI really not worth it, and will something like the Mazda 3 be a better option if I’m planning on staying automatic? Just wanted to get some input from people that know what they’re talking about. Also if there are any similar cars that you think are better for the price please drop down your suggestions

This has been troubling me since last night, would you leave a letter with all the reasons?
I do have a kind of good relationship with my family so I don't want them to blame themselves when this happens. But considering that my mom’s dad ended himself when my mom was a teen (we don't talk about him) and my dad constantly says that it is a cowardly move, I genuinely don't know if it would be a good idea. I would want to explain to them that it is not because of them and I know that it would hurt everybody no matter what, so it might be easier if they don't know… but I don't want them to guess either.
Sorry for the confusing rambling, drunk me is not good with second languages 🥲

Based on everything my husband and his sister have told me about their childhood I have come to believe that my in-laws were negligent and abusive parents. My SIL told me that her parents would leave them unsupervised at various relatives’ homes all the time. On two separate occasions she was SA’d by two separate male relatives. When she told her parents they did not believe her and they did absolutely nothing about it. Both of them would hit and scream at them all the time for doing normal kid things (breaking things, getting bad grades, talking back). They would also force religion down their throats using physical punishment and constantly preaching hellfire.
Besides how they treated their kids, they have absolutely no understanding of basic infant safety procedures and refuse to acknowledge things have changed in the 30+years since they raised children. When my first was born they kept telling me to give him water and honey which can both be deadly to newborns. Once my MIL told me not to strap my baby into his high chair so “it would be easier to take him out if he’s choking”. On multiple occasions I caught them putting my baby in unsafe sleep conditions even though I had been extremely vocal about what was allowed and what was not. Anytime I tell them not to do something a certain way with my son they say they’re also raised two kids and they know what they are doing. It always feels like a power struggle of them trying to tell us how to parent or criticizing our ways.
The point is I absolutely do not trust them with my children. Since my first was born both my in-laws were always offering and insisting to babysit but I would never leave my kids alone with them not even for a minute. They resent ME for depriving them of the chance to take care of their grandchild, although both my husband and I are on the same page on this.
I am currently expecting our second and DREADING going through this struggle all over again.

im going to the doctopsychiatrist on thursday but i just want to get some outside insight on my traits and behaviors to see if they likely fit in the autistic spectrum. my parents disagree and say im not autistic but they also don't know a lot about it sooo... ill just ask you folks!
here is a slightly extensive list on traits and reasons why i believe i am autistic:
Ever since I was young, I know I have struggled with communicating with others. Understanding social cues has always been a challenge, and I honestly cannot say that I have changed much. I was more talkative and less masking as a kid, though.
I have sensory sensitivity to lights, sounds, heat, and some textures. These sensitivities get worse and even unbearable when I am overwhelmed or overstimulated. I've had many shutdowns over overstimulation that I didn't realize could be from overstimulation until I started researching autism and stuff. The intensity of my sensitivity changes a lot. Some things I just cannot handle sometimes, but I can handle fine other times.
I have difficulty understanding my own and others’ emotions (I can’t tell when and what people feel in most situations, which I think is part of why I developed social anxiety because I was often judged for not understanding what someone felt). I also express my emotions differently then most others. I don't understand sadness and I have never cried from sadness that I know of, I cry out of being emotionally overwhelmed from anger or whatever.
I've had frequent stimming since I was young; this often includes hand fidgeting, repeating words or phrases, pacing or rocking back and forth, talking to myself, humming, tip toe walking, leg or foot shaking, and many more. I get overwhelmed and tense when I cannot stim. I notice this a lot at school or in public when I mask. When I am home, especially when I am alone, I stim!
Repetitive behaviors that I get upset or overwhelmed over when I cannot do them (brushing my teeth before eating, putting my slippers in a specific spot in my bedroom by the door, repetitive stims and movements and vocalizations, fixated and repetitive interests, etc).
I have always had executive function issues; I struggle to start and finish tasks constantly, which is why many people know me as a procrastinator. I WANT to do things, but I physically CANT sometimes, which causes me great stress and issues with schoolwork and responsibilities.
i also might be AuDHD not just autistic but idk lol

Link to AO3
chapters 1&2
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5
chapter 6
chapter 7
chapter 8
chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
The Academy looked normal enough from the distance but blew Gentry’s mind when she finally entered it. First of all, the way in lay through a massive winter garden full of the most luxurious botanical collection she’s ever seen. Not only that, but it seemed to be arranged in a way that offered spaces for hanging out as well as paths in and out. Here and there, G noticed little nooks with people’s voices coming from them and small murmuring streams gleamed in the sun that blazed through the transparent walls and roof. This place looked magical and invited to stay, enjoy the refreshing coolness and peace of mind. But Gentry had a good enough rest in her communal room the night before and was eager to start working on her first assignment that the System had spat out with a congratulating letter. Figuring out the controls of her new wristcomm was simple enough.
DEAR GENTRY!
WE ARE DELIGHTED TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE THE FIRST CONTESTANT TO CLEAR ALL CHALLENGES AND OBTAIN THE STATUS OF AN ASHTAPADAN NEWCOMER! YOUR MEDICAL DATA HAS BEEN ANALYSED AND FOUND ACCEPTABLE.
IN THE ATTACHMENT TO THIS LETTER YOU WILL FIND A LIST OF RULES, RECOMMENDATIONS AND IDEAS THAT WILL DEFINITELY HELP YOU IN THE FIRST WEEKS IN OUR BEAUTIFUL CITY BUT WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND FINDING A BUDDY THAT WOULD BE YOUR MAIN GUIDE AND POTENTIALLY A NEW GREAT FRIEND! IT CAN BE ANY CITIZEN OR A MORE EXPERIENCED NEWCOMER.
YOUR CURRENT POINTS: 0
WHY NOT START EARNING SOME WITH YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT?
START ANY BEGINNER COURSE AT THE ACADEMY AND KEEP YOUR ATTENDANCE RATE OVER 80% — WORTH 50 POINTS
(OPTIONAL) FIND SOMEBODY WHO IS WILLING TO BECOME YOUR BUDDY — WORTH 20 POINTS
Without stopping to check if the vending machines offered anything good, G made her way through the dreamy garden and entered the inner yard that looked just like everything here: nothing too eye-catching at first glance but secrets hidden everywhere.
One thing she had already noticed was that most of the people had another piece of technology on their bodies besides the comm on their wrists: a sort of extendable visor that some of them kept engaged at all times. Those who were focused on the screen had a comical look on their faces, a thousand-mile stare, eyes wide even as they were talking to each other or going about their business. It was unclear yet why they would engage the screen for so long though. No one needed this much time to read a notification or check a map.
Take a group of young students by the fountain, for example. They seemed deep in conversation with each other yet their pupils didn’t focus on the person in front, but on the translucent screen over the top part of their faces. Was it some kind of virtual reality helmet?
If so, G needed one, too.
Perhaps she’d be able to make new friends this way.
There was something else that caught Gentry’s eye. Despite her initial disappointment about the severe lack of male hotness in the streets, people of both sexes seemed to really care about their appearance. Even those who probably weren’t naturally stunning were very interesting to look at not least because of the crazy fashion sense everyone here had. Never before had G seen so much variety in what everyone wore: countless variations on different national garments, some looking very traditional, like something one could see in a theatre, some — futuristic uniforms straight out of a sci-fi movie. It didn’t seem like anyone was concerned with gender norms here, too. At least in when it came to the outfits.
G hoped she didn’t look like a creepy stalker when her gaze lingered on a pair of very nicely shaped legs stretching from underneath a plaid skirt that belonged to a young man in the group sat by the edge of the water. A pair of snow-white knee-highs, flat loafers and neat raven hair with some blue streaks completed the image. His clothes fit him very well and weren’t inappropriate in the least: something an old money university student would wear.
A female student that is.
And he wasn’t alone. Here and there, among more conventionally dressed people, there were people wearing all sorts of things: a crazy mix of goth-like apparel but barefoot, men and women with heads covered with scarves, people in strange jewelery that looked like it weighed a ton and so on. Most importantly, no one seemed to care what the others looked like.
Was it paradise? Looks like the demo didn’t lie: it was heaven on earth.
The young man in the middle of the student gaggle caught her staring after all. With a dazzling smile, he waved in her direction as if they were great friends, and G waved back, face heating, hoping there wasn’t anyone behind her this tease was actually waving at. Thank god his shoes weren’t heeled, otherwise she would definitely have a heart attack right here, in the middle of the common area, on her first day.
Did he notice her ogling his legs? Judging by the giggles of his friend's entourage, they all did. The young flirt covered his mouth, eyes wide in mock indignation and pulled his knees in, as if hiding them from the improper attention, getting even more laughter from the rest of the company. G averted her eyes and tried to calm her breathing as she was on her way through the yard again, but before they all disappeared from her field of view, she noticed the coquette stretch his legs again and fall back on a friend of his, embracing the lucky man’s neck in an affectionate gesture, already forgetting G existed.
There was no way she wasn’t going to make some pretty boy do the same for her. Forget the assignment, put that in the list of her top priorities!
At first, Gentry was lost when she failed to find any kind of class schedule and there was no one to ask at the reception desk.
Why have a reception desk if nobody’s on duty?
Soon, however, it occurred to her that there was no schedule: each room within the wide marble corridors had a small display with a handwritten message scribbled on it.
Bachata for beginners
Product engineering (Tuesday class cancelled)
Colloidal chemistry (revision today)
None of these were the Communications course that Jey was talking about, but the variety definitely made G’s eyebrows go up.
Was she just supposed to barge into any class and sign up? Did she have to sign up later if she liked the subject? Was it ok to choose any?
After some wandering around, too scared to just walk in uninvited or ask others for directions, she finally stumbled across the door saying:
Communication & decision making course (Newcomers welcome)
With the desks arranged in a horseshoe and the people of various ages that were also apparently Newcomers, it all seemed comfortably casual. Everyone was chatting as she walked in, paying G no mind so she busied herself with the wristcomm that dinged at exactly the right time to save her the embarrassment of looking for a desk.
Would you like to enroll in this course? Scroll down to read the description.
Was this damn thing a spying device? Did it just know which room she was in? Jey didn’t joke when she said the little thing was going to be her primary aid!
“Are you looking for somewhere to sit?” called a young red-haired woman at one of the paired desks. “Here, this one is free.” She had the auglasses on, like everyone else, but they were off, showing her lively face and a pair of sharp green eyes.
“Thanks,” G said, gratefully taking the offer. “I’m new here, don’t know how things work yet.”
“It’s alright, the course is very engaging, you’ll love it.” — the woman held out a hand — “I’m Sereen, what’s your name?”
G shook the warm palm. “It’s Gentry. And by new I mean I’m new to Ashtapada, not just the course. Literally arrived yesterday.”
“Really?” — S looked surprised — “Everything must be very confusing!”
“You have no idea,” G smiled. “I’m glad someone understands. Everyone’s friendly but acts as if giant mechanical dogs in the streets and a moss garden in the lobby are the most normal things ever.”
“Don’t worry, I was just like you when I first arrived, you’ll get the hang of it soon.”
“Hope so! Is that the lecturer?”
“Shhh...”
Just like everything else in Ashtapada, the lecture started out normal enough only to unfold into something completely alien to how things were normally done.
Apparently, the Communications course involved learning rationality, debating, logic, etiquette and god knew what else. It was supposed to give the future citizens tools to, well, communicate. G was given a booklet with some ground rules for beginners that included entries that sounded like something Sun Tzu would say if he studied debating instead of warcraft.
“The purpose of any argument is not to win it and not to change the other disputant’s mind. It’s to find the truth.”
“Always argue in good faith.”
“Don’t attack your opponent.”
“If attacked, dismiss the attack as if it didn’t happen.”
Well, hopefully, it only meant verbal attacks! G knew too well that when it came to physical violence, it was hard to ignore it.
Most of the rules looked straightforward enough, some were confusing.
“Seek challenge to your convictions. Avoid echo chambers.”
“Don’t seek being right.”
“Be mindful of your audience including yourself.”
“Avoid “Empty arguments” that don’t bring everyone closer to the goal of finding the truth.”
The lecturer, a willowy man of about sixty that drowned in his tweed jacket, started the class with a bit of small talk with the regulars after distributing the booklets to all first-timers. He made sure to give it to G face down so that his photo under the “About the author” title didn’t go unnoticed. He also made most of the “talk” part himself.
“I never took part in a debate,” G told Sereen, who was patiently waiting for the class to begin. “And never seen anything like these rules. Is it actually useful?”
“Oh, believe me, professor Poe will be ecstatic to talk to you about them. He can’t not start discussing his subject at the slightest provocation. Look.” — she raised her hand — “Professor, how was your weekend?”
The man wearily smiled. “That might seem like a meaningless question, Sereen, but it’s actually very much related to the topic we are going to cover today.”
“See?” — S raised her eyebrows with a suppressed smile. G giggled. This promised to be interesting.
“Our friend Sereen is a very polite person, isn’t she?” — Poe smiled at the class but his eyes glided over everyone’s faces, gaze turned inwards like he was reading an invisible text written on the walls. “But as kind as she is, I don’t think she’s actually interested in how my weekend went. Small talk is just a social custom we engage in to strengthen our social relations. Why don’t we just start a day by saying “Hi! I value our relationship and would like to fulfill my societal role!” to everyone we know? I would definitely prefer THAT over the small talk! He-he!”
The audience laughed politely. The guy seemed alright.
“However, just as we use different tools to fulfill this role in different contexts, so can the context of a logical problem steer our thinking towards a rational, that is, right, and an irrational, that is, wrong, answer.”
“Well, that’s not a given,” Gentry mumbled under her breath but it went unnoticed by S, who was already immersed in the lecture.
“Consider the famous René Descartes’s quote "Cogito, ergo sum". Who can translate it from Latin?” — the board behind the thin, almost transparent man glowed, displaying the words.
“Is it really a Beginner’s course?” G asked Sereen in a low voice but her companion was already raising her hand, together with a dozen other students.
“I think, therefore I am,” she said after a curt nod of the lecturer’s permission.
“Very good,” he continued, pleased. “I taught you well. Those of you who attend my lectures regularly are familiar with the notion of solipsism, which states that the only thing we can be sure about is our own thoughts.”
Gentry looked at S with raised eyebrows.
If this is an introductory course, what was the advanced like?
Sereen didn’t seem to perplexed. She was fully following the thread.
“However,” professor Poe said. “I am going to challenge that notion by demonstrating that we can’t trust our own mind when it comes to perceiving reality.”
He looked at the audience with a quizzical eye, and pointed at Gentry with a long bony finger “You, new girl. I want you to close your eyes.”
Why her?
Gentry was only happy to hide behind her eyelids. No doubt the whole room was now staring at her.
Through the blood rushing in her ears, she heard the old man’s voice, “Who was sitting beside you before you closed your eyes?”
“My new friend Sereen,” G answered and heard a little gasp of appreciation from the woman.
“So you know she existed as long as you two were whispering behind my back. However, now that you can’t see or hear her. How do you know she exists?”
“Well, I can reach with my hand and touch her,” Gentry said, demonstrating.
“Yes, this is what most people answer,” Poe said. “You can open your eyes now. But let me ask you this: how would you know it was her, an not some other person that took her place?”
Gentry’s intuition was right: everyone was staring, as if waiting for her answer.
“Well, I suppose— ”
“Hush, it was a rhetorical question,” the professor cut her off. “The correct answer is that you can’t know that. We think we can trust our senses or at least our thoughts, but this is also false. Everyone, look out of the window.”
Everyone did.
The day was as fine as Gentry was annoyed.
What did this pops think of himself?
“I’d ask what you see, but I already know the answer,” he went on. “All of you would say “the sky”. And all of you would be wrong, because sky doesn’t exist. We only see the endless emptiness of the outer space, but perceive it as a blue dome. It’s an illusion, a phantom, born out of our collective unconscious.”
Sereen whispered, lost in the lecture, “Ah, yes, Carl Jung.”
What?
Was it supposed to be obvious?
“But listen to this,” he continued, voice booming like a demiurge’s in the completely silent room. “Listen to this. How many words is it? Listentothis. Our common sense says it’s three words while in reality it’s just a string of sounds I an producing with my mouth. I am literally making you hallucinate the spaces between the words I’m saying. With knowing that our perception is so flawed, how can we know that we even know how to think?”
“I’m sorry, professor, I disagr...” G started but got struck down by his serrated gaze.
“I’ll invite questions at the end, young miss,” he chopped out.
Sereen’s eyes were sympathetic. It looked like most if not all of professor Poe’s students had learned not to interrupt him.
He went on, “Anyway, the fact that you even understand what I am saying is in itself incredible and shouldn’t be possible.”
“But it IS possible, right?” G whispered to Sereen. “I mean, aren’t we understanding this as he speaks?”
“PLEASE refrain from talking unless asked!” professor Poe roared.
Impressive lung capacity for such a frail human being!
G begrudgingly did as she was told. The guy seemed to be enjoying this power trip a bit too much to her taste.
“Now, since most of you,” he put some emphasis on the word to shut up another pair of whispering students. “Most of you think you comprehend my words, you must know that there is a way to tell that something is real, even though we can’t rely on our senses for perception. I’m giving you a minute to discuss with your partners what it might be.”
G considered it. She and Sereen exchanged equally confused glances.
Like a dutiful student, S started summarising Poe’s arguments but Gentry listened with only half an ear. She felt that behind all this over-thinking was a clear and simple answer.
She watched the professor walk along the aisles, tuning into one or another conversation before leaving each with a smug head shake of disapproval.
What was there to think about? Even if they didn’t see the world precisely as it was, something was definitely real, right? The chair she felt under her buttocks, the air around, the low murmur of the students. The annoying professor that… looked a little too translucent.
Gentry waited for the man to approach their desks and tune into Sereen’s musings. As he came so near they could reach out and touch him, Gentry did just that.
To her utter shock, her hand went through the old jacket and sent a wave of static over the professor’s figure, his whole form glitching and flickering.
Professor Poe was a hologram!
Unable to help herself, Gentry said, “No wonder you don’t think anything is real, Professor, you are hardly real yourself!”
The whole roomful of people stared, transfixed, at the surreal scene of a student’s arm disappearing into the teacher’s abdomen.
Gentry looked back at Sereen in search of support.
Was it laughter in her eyes?
Poe’s blood drained from his face, the mouth slacked open, twitching as if trying to form some words, but none came out.
Sereen chimed in, “You never told us you were a simulation, Professor.”
“Out!” Poe gritted lowly so that no one really heard him.
“I’m sorry?” G asked, innocently.
“Out of my class!” he exploded, jumping out of Gentry’s reach with an enraged grimace. “I am as real as you are!”
G stood up and looked at her hand then back at Professor Poe.
How much rage could storm in those watery eyes?
Then, she winked at her new friend.
“Let’s go then, shall we?” she said.
Sereen looked lost for a second, her eyes darting pack and forth between Gentry and Poe. Then, her gaze seemed to cloud a little, as if she retreated into her own head, but when she resurfaced, she nodded with a mischievous smile.
Both young women left the room, the classmates’ sympathetic silence and Poe’s angry seething seeing them off.
***
“What a way to start my first day,” Gentry said. “My hands are still trembling a bit.”
She and S were calming their nerves in the green winter garden, the soothing sound of the little running streamlet at their feet a welcome distraction.
“Believe it or not, his course is actually quite useful,” Sereen laughed. “Who would have thought the old Poe is actually not human? I guess we never thought of poking him in the stomach before. This is going to be the talk of the Academy for the next month or so!”
“Is it? I feel bad now. I guess I’m not getting any points for attending this lecture, right?” — Gentry checked her wristcomm — “It says “zero progress” and something else… ad.. Honi… adhonim…”
Sereen laughed, “Yeah, you adhominem’ed good old Poe, no wonder you got zero credit!”
“What does it mean?”
“You’ve seen the rules of learning and discourse, right?” S said. “There are no-nos, things that aren’t allowed, especially when it comes to Rationality classes and the like. Ad Hominem means an attack on the speaker, not their argument. It isn’t exactly what you did, but I guess it’s the closest thing!”
“Ad Hominem, huh,” G said. “Well, I guess I deserve it then. Thanks for standing by me.”
If it wasn’t for Sereen, G wasn’t sure she would be going to return to the Academy any time soon!
“You just chose a wrong course as your first class, G,” — no doubt about that! — “But another lecturer who works here is much more open-minded and he also teaches Rationality. I think you’ll enjoy him more than our old Poe. His next class is in a couple of days. Wanna come?”
***
DEAR GENTRY!
CONGRATULATIONS ON COMPLETING AN OPTIONAL ASSIGNMENT! 20 POINTS HAVE BEEN ADDED TO YOUR STATUS COUNTER.

as someone both neurodivergent and from another culture, i only recently learned of the concept of "self-pity". this is apparently a very abhorrent action that warrants disgust from all people, including therapists, maybe especially.
as a result, i think i'm coming off this way, and as a result of these biases, instead of accessing their skills and training, i only access what i guess are their worst sides: aggression, outbursts, eye-rolling, etc. as someone neurodivergent who is constantly checking what they're doing "wrong", i get really confused, bc i must've done something to warrant this and yet for the life of me i can't figure out what–– yes even after confronting them, i just get vague answers like "it's the way you say it," (in a tone as if they're extremely burdened by my phrasing), "you say it like you're the only one."
and yet i know i'm not the only one, so i get confused. i thought that was obvious? afterwards, i started preemptively padding my phrases: "i know everyone is going through this, but...", "everyone has this problem right now, and...", spelling out "i'm not saying i'm the only one", to the point that i wondered if i should outright substitute "i" with "everyone". even trauma symptoms like foreshortened future were dismissed with the fact that there are other people who also have the same issue but worse. i wondered if a problem was only valid in therapy if that issue affects only you, which is impossible.
so, instead of learning how to cope with my feelings or problems, or that there's other ways to deal with them than how i've been, i meet pointed dismissal.
for example, if i detail my experience with undiagnosed adhd (like taking hours to finish something), instead of learning possible reasons why or how, i get met with an aggressive, irritated, "well if you didn't do anything about it, then what do you expect?"
after this session i started wondering if he genuinely meant i should've taken myself to the doctor at 8 years old and asked them to consider if i have inattentive adhd. like... it's just not logical. i have many teen students with diagnosed adhd who (no judgment!!) don't do as much to work around their symptoms the way i did undiagnosed, so i know how "not doing anything about it" looks. and it's not me.
ppl in general also either become really cold and pointedly "deny" sympathy (not what i was looking for to start) or simply hand me sympathy like a pacifier, leaving me unsatisfied, infantilized, baffled, and no other perspective for the issue i opened up about which i now never want to do again. this, i recently learned, is from the assumption of "self pity". i've apparently been submitting unsolicited requests for sympathy.
i'm not sure how to phrase issues without sounding apparently disgusting and insufferable. i really just state the facts with an underlying neutral regard that i have apparently erroneously mutually expected.
to save my own self-respect and image and have access to help in therapy (instead of damage), how do i present my issues without sounding like whatever this damning "self-pitying" social concept is?

So I 17(f) have been talking to a 18(m) for well over two months and all was FANTASTIC for the first 3 weeks, we were all lovey dovey he would constantly text me but after finding out my age (he thought I was 18) he became less lovey dovey and more I guess mutual which was fine because he told me he still liked me (romantically)
well an month and a half later we slowly start texting less but still everyday just not spamming each other, I asked him hiw he felt about me and he said "idk you being a junior is weird for me"( he's graduated so I understood) I said that's fine,
I gave him space to think about his feelings and now fast forward I asked him how he felt about me and he was confused so I clarified that "do you like me romantically?" And he said "you wanted to be friends?" (Which yea I said that because I didn't wanna hold feelings for someone that didn't feel the same way) and I said do you not like me romantically and he said he was in between.
So that's where we're kinda at is in between.. should I hold my feelings and get my hopes up in thinking he might want me back too?? Or should I move on ?
My friends say to move on because he's a "red flag"
They say this because #1 he's a grown adult #2 he's not in college/school/trade school #3 he has no job #4 he seems unsure and not ready for commitment
Any thoughts or advice on this whole situation would be DEEPLY APPRECIATED!!!🙏🏼😭

I'm 24F he's 24M and we've been dating for 4 years.
I've had a couple of sexual encounters before him and I had one "serious" boyfriend that lasted 5-6 months and even we ended things nicely, in time we stopped talking and never felt like wanting to talk to him again. I suppose it is normal, since he did not talk to me as well. (Neither of them did) Never felt the need to talk again with any of them, It never came to my mind, even less now that I have my boyfriend. I hope they're fine and having a good life, all of them but even if I liked and/or loved them in the past, I don't feel the need to talk to them so they can confirm that they're fine, I just hope and assume they're fine and I know most of them are because I live in a small city and I've seen them around.
So that's what happened with my boyfriend.
He had one girlfriend before me, he was deeply in love with her for over a year and dated almost another year, no sexual encounters, they ended up breaking up and with time they stopped talking to each other.
Last week he told me he had a wet dream about her, (I sometimes tell him too because we both know that we don't choose what we dream) and after that he started telling me how he was curious about how she was doing, every day that week he would mention it a couple of times, how he hopes she's fine.
That made me quite sad because I felt like he was missing his ex.
It's been years since I thought about my exes that deeply, rarely the thought comes to mind but I remember how much I love my current boyfriend and I lose any interest in them and I feel happy to have found better. I feel like he's doing the complete opposite, like he has been talking about her multiple times a day for over a week and I don't know how to feel about it but it certainly makes me sad.
2 days ago he asked me how I would feel if he talked to her again. I was honest. I told him that I'm not the kind of girlfriend that will tel him who he can or cannot speak with, that he doesn't have to ask for permission but the fact that he had been missing her that much lately made me feel like he was starting to gain feelings for her again, I told him that I don't want to lose him and I'm afraid of him catching feelings for her again. He told me that he loves me and only me.
Yesterday he told me that after years of no contact, he talked to her and she said to meet up. He said that she's such a nice girl and he wants to befriend her again.
I'm just afraid of one or both of them catching feelings for each other again, am I crazy/jealous or is it justified? I just know that I will overthink a lot and feel super insecure when they'll meet and I don't want to be. What can I do?
I will never control what he can or cannot do or say but I don't want him to befriend her again, I just don't understand why he wants to befriend the girl he had a romantic interest in and I don't want to lose him. Like I'm okay if he has girl friends, he does. I just don't feel right when he had a romantic past with the girl, and the way he has been talking constantly about her... It just hurts thinking of them talking everyday. I don't know, I just want to be a good girlfriend but not a stupid one. Help.

Was talking to my mom and grandma couple weekends ago. They asked where my wife was, told em she's out and about in her yearly get together at camp.
Both my mom and grandma immediately asked in a panic, "where's the baby?!" My kids like 4 btw lol.
I of course, confused af, tell them she'd with me? Where se would she be lol.
They BOTH say "you're watching her?? Alone???!!! Wooooow we raised a real man it seems!"
I couldn't help but tilt my head and ask them "..what do you mean?"
Apparently it's unheard of for a man to offer ti "babysit" his own kid while his partner goes out and enjoys their life.
I realized then how truly low the bar has been set for us, and it's depressing.
Keep doin good work kings. Let's show the real world what a real dad is supposed to be.

Hi Reddit, I’m a lesbian woman who is also incredibly blind when it comes to signs that someone is into me.
So I am not sure where to start. I suppose with the fact that I am confused and that I would appreciate people’s insight.
I (30F) met (let’s call her) Gwen (46F) a few years ago. However, we only started really chatting every and then when we ran into each other again Jan 2023. We would sometimes spend 30mins or so talking. We arranged a coffee a couple of months later which went well. Summer 2023 was when we started getting closer. She out of nowhere dropped me a message whether I would be up for going over to hers. I cooked for us, we had wine and it was just nice. Slowly we started spending more time together. Sometimes from about 3pm to 1am. Just talking. I would always cooks for us etc etc. it became a routine and very comfortable. From once a week I would be at hers almost every day. All day. It got to the point that we started doing diy house stuff together as well lol. It feels homey? We literally talk about everything. She cares about my opinion and I care about hers. Although she doesn’t like to message, she does message me daily. Her friends know me and so do her parents. They often ask about me. She remembers things about me that I literally don’t remember as well as she always remembers anything important happening in my life. Now, my friends or acquaintances that saw us interact all think that we are together. When I ask them why, they say: “It’s the way she looks at you.” “It’s the way she interacts with you.” “She is so focused when you talk.” “When she laugh she looks at you.” “It’s the vibes.”
Now, I understand where they are coming from. Even I, the most useless of people (when it comes to picking up on things) noticed some signs. However, I don’t like to assume + I value the connection we have and I might be scared of rejection ahhah. Once I asked her whether she has ever had a thing for a woman and she said no. So that to me just indicates that she is straight and this is all friendly. It’s just a bit confusing I suppose? I mean not every friendship is the same, right? But then she looks at me ‘that way’, she picks up on the slightest change in my mood, she started buying types of food I enjoy or gets more of others because she noticed I like them, she teases me A LOT, etc etc.
I have no idea whether this even makes sense. This is a very short and rushed summary of the events. Anyways, thank you for reading haha

When I met her, she and I became friends immediately, she was sweet and nice and she was understanding cause I tend to over share and she actually was there for me, this was 4 years ago. I was in 12th and now we are graduating from the same university.
We were never in the same classes even though we had the same courses, she used to call me to hangout with her in semester 1 and 2, I used to refuse every time and that died down, I met a bunch of good people along the way until semester 4. She and her guy were fighting and she “needed” me as a support, I left everything for her, I spent every day and night talking to her since. She used whine when I made plans with my other friends and unnecessarily bitch about them and when I got uncomfortable, she told me that I was “no fun” anymore, so I dropped them.
She ranted every single day. It was always about her fighting w her ex or her not liking someone, unnecessarily commenting about someone’s body, the way they dressed, everything. I used to feel uncomfortable but didn’t say anything cause she’d somehow make me feel guilty? Made me date her ex’s friend even though I wasn’t into him? And she blamed me for that not working out?
I knew her whole life story? And she’s claiming that I hide things from her but whenever I talk she ends up talking about herself? Up until 1st semester, I was very very insecure about my body and decided to change that, I lost weight and she used to make these very subtle passive aggressive comments sometimes and never once asked about my progress. She was very good at this tho, make me feel special but then asserting unnecessary dominance and trying to compete? The day I cut her off, she used her trick of guilt tripping me and then called right back and started crying and apologising by victimising herself and telling me that I was her longest friend that I couldn’t do that to her and so on.
But I made a list of (few out of all) things that struck out for me as soon as I cut her off:

1. Bitched about my friends and guilt tripped me into isolating myself from them by telling me that I chose them over her even tho I spent most of my time w her
   1. Then tries to “push me towards them(my friends)” after a they tried talking to me and I stopped responding to them because she used to convince me not to? And now she wants me to reconcile with them even tho I told her they were done w me lol
   2. Bitches about every person and acts all sweet and nice to them.
   3. Expects me to be loyal and hate the people she hates (she’s very problematic, in the sense she had problems with everyone who were close to her and made it seem like they were the problem and everyone believed it??) but when I dislike someone to a point it irks me, she tells me that that person helped her a lot. Double standards.
   4. Never accepts faults.
   5. Everything is an act.
   6. The most insecure person I’ve ever met and never told me about their true feelings? (I thought I was insecure until her)
   7. Wants me to just validate her feelings and god forbid I ever give her an advice.
   8. Claims to having done everything for me during our friendship. Being there for me exactly 2 times when I have been with her and for her numerous times over the span of 4 years.
   9. Got into a relationship because she wanted to go on double dates with her former bf and his bf w me, was in a week long relationship and he lost interest and told it to her and she chose to humiliate me when I got drunk and chose to tell me on the day of my first ever concert.
   10. Conveniently chooses what is right or wrong.
   11. Talks about herself 23/7. The one hour in a week is what I talk in total, I am her emotional support dog.
   12. When I confronted her about her not knowing me, she used sarcasm to deflect the situation on to me, making me feel like the crazy one. Never tried to know who I was.
   13. My surname is known to have money, so if a person who is popular and has my surname or doesn’t have it, according to her, they are talking to me only because I have that surname.
   14. Says that she’s happy that I’m not like other girls she mentioned by saying that I’m happy for her for all the things she’s bought or done and the fact that I pay for my share every single time cause I don’t like owing someone money and relates that to herself but in reality, she’s just like the “other girls” she’s mentioned.
   15. I’m not allowed to go out every Saturday like she does but I am allowed to go sometimes, that’s on a very rare occasion and most of the time it’s with cousins and my elder sister.
   16. Went on an international trip w cousins and she constantly told me that she wants to go to the exact same place w her friends, never once asked me for the pictures of my trip just kept whining about how she hasn’t been there?
   17. When she got caught cheating on an exam, her own (former) boyfriend did not go with her to solve it or be there for her, instead I went so that she doesn’t feel bad, didn’t eat my lunch didn’t study for the exam we had in an hour, and she thanked me. When I got caught for the first time recently, she left knowing that our mutual told her that I got caught and when I told her that it was sad that she didn’t even wait for me she gave me reasons and excuses as to why she couldn’t. If I were in her place, she would be fuming rn and would use that against me in a fight. This was the one that pushed me off the cliff to be very honest.
   18. She knows all my weak and trigger points. She loves to use the word “disappointment” whenever I missed one of her rants/fights

It’s been a month (officially) that I stopped talking to her, cut her off completely? And I’ve never felt better? I felt like I used to be in an abusive relationship? But what actually inspired me to write this post and make it public is because she told people things that I confided with her and it triggered me. And thank you to that one Redditor whose stories have resonated with me and helped me get through this.
Thank you for hearing me out and please do give advices on how to effectively not give a shit about her. If any of you want to share your experiences, you’re always welcome.

Hey everyone, I have this long rant that I harbored deep down in my heart for a long time, I don't know if any of you will agree with me, but I hope it'll make you see where I'm coming from and what you might've missed, and please remember that all what is written below is just my own opinion, if you don't like it, you can ignore it as you wish, and if you have anything to say, feel free to share it here and i'll try respond to them. also there are some spoilers, so be careful...
Ciel/Rio (aka. Kirarin/Pikario or KiraPika) is the worst sibling relationship I've ever seen, and Ciel is a terrible Cure and even the worst in my book, and the fact that many people really think all of these were good and "well-written" in any way just confuses me, like, what's the takeaway from all of this?
For starters, the conflict between the twins itself felt underdeveloped, like it didn't explain why the two wanted to become patissiers and Precures so hard and if there's any fairy that has become a Cure in the past, what's the difference between them and what each one has and the other doesn't, and why Rio wasn't as good as Ciel and where he messed up, not "she's just better than him ;)", although granted, low self esteem can be vaild enough, but it still would be fun if they focused on why, so his arc would be about him becoming more confident and accepting himself with others' help.
Also, While Ciel's insensitivity and arrogance were valid flaws, her neglect for Rio to focus more on her training felt jarring to me, because she didn't give the impression that she's the kind of person who'd leave their beloved one behind, and her excuse wasn't quite convincing, like I think she would've helped Rio with pleasure if he talked to her about his problems in the first place, but that's impossible because the writer needs an excuse for Parfait to exist. It would've been believable if she at least went to Paris alone, but she took him with her and then she irresponsibly left him behind in a place they're unfamiliar with, if anything, it just makes her look like a cold jerk, especially since she became a celebrity during all of that, not to mention that after she became a Cure, all of these flaws disappeared completely without being explored.
Not to mention that her brother was the only one who suffered from her mistakes and she barely showed any concern for him throughout the show.
As for their relationship, there's no weight to it whatsoever, we didn't see how Rio helps his sister (outside of turning her into Precure somehow), it's Ciel who does almost everything for him, and she seemed perfectly fine without him. And on top of that, the twins have no chemistry together whatsoever, after Rio came back from his pointless coma, all of their interactions are just Ciel clinging and fawning over her uncomfortable brother without showing any respect for his personal space and that's it, there's not even a single banter or casual (read: normal) conversation between the two that doesn't involve some sloppy melodrama, it's not cute or charming at all, it's just toxic and unpleasant to watch, Rio's interactions with Ichika were better than any moment between him and his sister even if he was faking at the time, and as someone who normally enjoys sibling relationships, it was disappointing to me. And no, time is not a good excuse for that, you could write two characters with good chemistry together in a short amount of time if you tried (see the first Yukari/Akira episode).
Heck, after Rio woke up, she just jumped into him happily as if he came back from traveling or something, which's kind of an underwhelming reaction considering that he was in a serious coma that he might not wake up from, like a lot of comatose people irl.
As for Ciel, I can't stand even looking at her, even if I ignored how her relationship with Rio makes her unlikable, she simply doesn't work as a main character, she's very boring and unnecessary and doesn't have any personal challenges or anything else to her character that could make her slightly interesting and relatable, and it feels like almost all of her episodes are more about making her looks cool and qUiRkY, but instead they just made her overpowered, kinda like Mana except neither hilarious nor interesting. not to mention how Rio and Bibury are nothing but cheerleaders for her despite being more interesting on their own unlike Ciel. I was also very enraged at how she ended up getting closer to Ichika, it should've been Rio considering his interpersonal issues and how he interacted with the latter first.
And the way she transformed into a Cure just makes her look like she took advantage of her brother for her gain even if she didn't mean it, and her saying that Cure Parfait was "their miracle" in episode 41 was so meaningless because yes, Rio helped her for that in episode 23, but A. it was unintentional, and B. she never needed his help again and after she said that dumb line, she was fighting Elysio all by herself in the same episode, showing that it's all just talks.
I also don't understand why people think that Rio was "well-developed" and episode 41 was good, because, among other problems, it honestly rendered Rio's whole arc completely pointless at the end. Yes, Ciel will help him to get better (although she had no reason for not doing that in the first place), but what about his experience with Noir and other characters? did they leave any impact on his character eventually? what's the diffrence between pre and post-corruption Rio? did his skills improved for real or he only succeed because his was around him? Did he befriend Ichika and others for real or was Ciel just dragging him with her again? And more importantly, what did he accomplish or gain from all of this? none of that was answered.
I wouldn't mind that if it was just a one or two-episode conflict, but for something that spanned for most of the show, it's so exaperating, because, again, WHAT IS THE TAKEAWAY FROM ALL OF THIS?!
Sometimes it really feels like Rio is two different characters (Julio and Pikario), and Pikario was a last-minute addition that was created while the writer was coming up with a backstory for Julio, and while this is just my pet theory, I feel like there is enough evidence for that, like the 16-episode coma, how his character arc felt so rushed and unfinished, and how he felt so removed from his sister's life and all of his appearances in the last 10 episodes felt like an afterthought, as well as his complete absence in the manga.
Also for the record, I don't care that he didn't become a Precure as some others do, even though it was odd for a series like Precure to say that Rio wants to be a Cure and then ignore that later, and there was absolutely no reason for him to lose his power in episode 40 .
I could go on what's wrong with episode 41 and how to salvage Rio's character arc and Ciel as a whole, but i think what i said was enough, Thanks for reading.

I'm lesbian and trans and my mother doesn't like me. Better yet, I don't even think she wants me. She keeps dressing me and constantly presents me how she sees me. She constantly says that I'm confused and tries to take me to conversion therapy she also tells me that she "knows what she birth" and how I'm going to burn in hell. I'm fucking done with this shit. I attempted in november, and I don't care how "selfish" I'm being. I just want her to stop comparing me to evey goddamn straight and "normal" person she sees, I feel like a failure because I couldn't act the way she wanted..I couldn't come out fucking normally i just HAD to fucking be stuck with this stupid fucking autism. I don't want to be seen as a abomination, If I had two wishes it would be for (a) parent(s) who loved me not their selfish fucking desires pushy ass religious views and for me to not be a pain. Every day, I get up un-medicated, wishing I could just do it...