Hi guys,
I've spent the past few days doing a newsletter in Mailchimp and have got it exactly how I look mostly using blocks but one block is code.
The blocks I've used are image & text. I had problems with image on the right and text on the left as in mobile view the text showed before the image which I didn't. I've managed to get code from Chat GPT to get it looking exactly how I want and also showing the image first in mobile view.... but when I sent a test email to my gmail the layout for the code block is all off with the image being small and the text being squished the the left side (see images)
Here is my code for this entire block:

  
 
 
TEST
 
Sweet Treats, the bounty of the sea & great produce from our local countryside are waiting to be enjoyed. Easter Sunday Lunch promises to be long, leisurely & indulgent.
 
 Reserve Now 
 
  
 
 

Can someone advise please? Thanks

i need a place to vent and honestly, reading posts about other people going through the same thing does help a bit. if anyone has any advice to make me feel better, please tell me.
we had to put our beloved staffy (almost 11 years old) named spanky down yesterday. it was probably one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. the vet clinic is 6 blocks from our house and i honestly do not want to step foot near that area ever again. i feel like i will have a full blown panic attack just reliving the final moments in my head. i'm sad and hurt. i think the hardest part of all this was her health declined very quickly in a span of a few days. we had no idea she was going to be gone.
she started having black diarrhea out of no where. we suspected it was something she ate as she did have this issue a few months ago, the doctor gave antibiotics and it went away. well our hopes turned into a complete nightmare when we went the vet, and they prescribed medication and it seemed to not get better but completely worse. she stopped eating the day after we brought her to the vet (continued drinking lots of water though) but knew something was up. this continued for the next day after, so we called our vet, but this time they told us to take her to the ER to see a specialist for an ultrasound. at this point i still had hope it wasn't anything serious..
.. i will never forget the moment the doctor came out, and told us they found several masses on her liver and intestine, and they would not be able to operate on her. the cancer was aggressive and spreading quickly. (we were unaware she even had cancer so this was a complete shock) her organs were shutting down. we asked how much longer she would have. the doctor would not give us a time frame but mentioned the best course of action would be to put her down or she can go home with pain meds. we decided to bring her home that day to have one more night with her. it's insane how fast her health deteriorated in a matter of hours. she loved car rides so i'm happy we gave her one last car ride. 2 weeks ago, she was full of energy and to go from that to not being able to stand up on her final day broke me to pieces. it makes me a bit happier knowing we were able to give her a peaceful goodbye and to end her pain.
life is nothing without her. our whole life revolved around her. the house feels empty. the bed is lonely. she would always bark at anyone that would come by the apartment or car. she would always protect me. she was my shadow. she hated skateboards and would go nuts if she heard one skating by. i placed all her blankets she laid on, every toy in a bag so i can keep her smell forever. i can't even sleep as i write this (3:42 am). i called off work for the rest of the week and not sure how i'm even going to function when i go back next week. everyone at work always asks me about her because she is all i talk about. i can't even mention her name without balling my eyes out. this is going to be hard. yesterday was the worst day ever. probably worst day of my life. i miss her cuddles so much. i don't have children but she was my baby. a part of me left with her. the pain is unimaginable. i miss her and everything reminds me of her. this is the type of pain i have never felt in my life. it's overwhelming and now i see the world in black. nothing seems interesting anymore.
rip spanky. save a spot for me wherever you are. i will see you again. please visit me in my dreams every night. 2013-2014 💔🐾

About two weeks ago I thought about writing a story under 1,000 words. Would you believe ... 2,093 words? Enjoy!
At 9 PM, my roommate Martine pulled her knees closer to her chest and corrected her balance on the bay window bench seat. She never once looked at me as I finished neatening up the living room behind her. I didn’t expect her to notice me. She was waiting for her new love interest, Baylun. Nothing short of setting her clothes on fire would break her concentration before he arrived.
That’s why I didn’t bother to ask her if I looked okay. Yes, I wanted to make a good impression on Baylun because being presentable is being polite. Also, I didn’t want to give Martine any reason to leave me without her monthly half of the rent. If she left despite me being as perfect as I can be, well, nothing I can do about that. And given how intensely she was staring out the window, I wouldn’t be surprised if she expected Baylun to propose tonight. On their third date.
As if she’d read my mind, she spoke without turning her head. “Would you add him to the lease? I mean, if you like Baylun?”
“My Aunt Gloria might okay it. There’s enough room here. We can ask.” Why did I feel the need to appease her and pretend I wouldn’t be uncomfortable as the third wheel in my aunt’s rental house? My best guess is because appeasing and pretending are the cornerstones of my life, I’m very good at them.
Luckily, Martine was already not listening. “He’s here,” she whispered, sliding off the bench seat. After picking up her silk shawl, she partially opened our front door. Footsteps coming up our front steps stopped at what I presumed was the top step.
Beaming, she opened the door and invited him in. The man who entered had to duck to get in and I had to stop myself for apologizing to him. He was well dressed, looked like the proverbial “million dollars” and as he bent to give Martine a kiss on the cheek, I saw his eyes.
I froze for a moment, staring at the wrinkles around his eyes. Inhaling sharply, I blinked and shifted my gaze to Martine. She’d described Baylun as mature for his age. She’d failed to tell me he was at least middle age. That may sound ageist and I’m sorry for that but Martine and I are both 22 years old and Baylun looked twice that. He might be kind and, as Martine mentioned more than once, rich, but he might also be constantly on the lookout for a younger model than the one currently on his arm. Far be it from me to pass judgment without proof, but I would need more than Martine’s affirmation to feel comfortable with him as a roommate.
Introductions were short if not sweet. Baylun extended his hand and shook mine, which gave me some relief. If he’d kissed my hand I would undoubtedly have done nothing except internally cringe.
“Are you ready?” he asked, looking first at Martine who nodded enthusiastically. Then he looked at me and raised his eyebrows as if waiting for a reply. My jaw dropped, in real time.
Martine stared at me for half a second before jumping in to save me. “Lise was just getting her sweater, right, Lise?”
Thanks for covering for me, Martine. My plans for the night included pjs as soon as you guys left, but how could I say no? Except for flat out saying “No” which would be unthinkable.
“Right, I forgot it, and where are we going?” I squished in behind Martine, reached into the closet and took the top sweater from the neatly folded pile in the sweater drawer.
Baylun made a noise that was probably meant to sound like laughter. “Heddon’s Hill. To see the stars. Cloudless night tonight!”
Martine clapped her hands a couple of times, giving me a jolt of second-hand embarrassment. “Baylun asked me to keep it a secret. He brought a bottle of really good wine. It’s in his car, right, babe?”
Baylun didn’t say anything as he put his hand on her cheek like she was a child. She stared at him, as if in a trance. He didn’t purr audibly but that’s the best way I can describe his facial expression. Then I looked him in the eyes and the silence that followed hurt my ears.
A wave of panic immobilized me. I looked away and struggled to put on the sweater.
When he spoke, he whispered but it felt like thunder to my ears. “Perhaps a heavier outer layer?”
Martine snapped back into reality. “You look cold. Grab a hoodie, we’ll meet you in the car.”
That was the out I needed. “You know what, I feel awful. Go ahead, enjoy. I’ll take cold meds and try to be awake when you get back, to hear all about it.” To convey sadness at missing out on being a third wheel and resigned acceptance of impending illness, I grimaced and shrugged.
Martine considered me for a moment before agreeing. She leaned gently against Baylun’s arm and squeezed his hand. “Could we be back in an hour, babe?”
He turned his full attention on her and nodded. “Yes. We will. Goodbye, Lise.”
I thought about saying goodbye and decided a coughing fit would be more suitable. As I covered my mouth with my left elbow, I waved weakly with my right hand. The two lovebirds got into the car and when I heard it backing down the driveway, I poured a couple of teaspoons of night time anti-cold liquid down the sink. To make sure I smelled like I’d taken it, I licked the spoon before washing it.
When they returned, Martine walked in at a slower pace than usual and Baylun put his arm under hers as soon as they were both inside, so she could lean on him. She didn’t seem upset. She also didn’t make eye contact with me. My first thought was she had a bit too much wine, but we’ve had drinks together. She’s always been a little louder, a little more animated after a bit of alcohol. I started wondering if she’d consumed something other than wine while stargazing. Not judging, just trying to find an explanation that didn’t scare me about her health.
Instead of speaking to me, Baylun nodded and continued supporting Martine, helping her through the house. I reasoned he was taking her to the bathroom or her bedroom, so I squeezed in beside him and ran to open her bedroom door. Baylun led her to the far side of her bed so he was facing me, and helped her to lie down.
Except he didn’t lay her down right away. He held her halfway between standing and lying down, stared into my eyes and put his mouth on her neck.
I know how this sounds. My brain undoubtedly recognized the set-up. Yet I was unprepared for what happened.
Baylun retracted his lips, revealing two bloody fangs and touched Martine’s neck as if searching for something. Just before his fingers found them, I saw two wounds on her neck. He positioned his fingers so his fangs went into the wounds. Martine shuddered for a second, then sighed and stopped moving.
I inhaled sharply. Nothing made sense and I couldn’t remember how to move. When I realized my hand was still on the door handle, I leaned on it slightly, turned and ran to the front door.
Baylun met me there. I didn’t hear him walking or running. He wasn’t at the door and then he was, positioned to prevent me from opening it. He wasn’t frowning. He didn’t lean towards me or touch me, for which I was grateful.
But his eyes. They sparkled, they were bright and lively, and they were wrinkle-free. He looked my age, not middle aged. He looked like the guy I’d met an hour earlier, only younger.
I took a step backwards.
He took a step forward and spoke, his voice quiet and calm.
“If you say anything to her about what you saw, I will deny it and she will believe me. Then I will show you what it’s like to burn in hell.”
This was the second time in one night life handed me a “get out of trouble” card and I grabbed it with both hands. Frowning with the hopes of presenting as confused, I asked, “Okay, I thought it was very kind of you to bring her home, but I think I get it. What’s our story if she asks?”
He crossed his arms and studied me for a long moment. “I’m glad you understand. You can take credit for getting her into bed.”
I nodded and brought my left hand to my mouth, trying to look thoughtful. “And you asked her to text when she gets up tomorrow? Or is that too much?”
He chuckled and uncrossed his arms. “That’s just what I was thinking.” He stared at my mouth.
A rush of fear froze me in place. “Everything okay?”
“It will be.” He pointed at the right side of my mouth.
A sharp pain on the side of my face woke me up. It was still dark. I was in my bed. I tried sitting up and learned my pillowcase was stuck to the corner of my mouth.
Instant panic. I picked up the pillow and ran to the bathroom where a quick glance in the mirror above the sink revealed the substance wasn’t glue, it was blood. As awful as that was, my initial reaction was “Better than glue.” A little warm water on a face cloth eased the pillowcase off my skin and I set the case and face cloth on the counter.
For a brief moment I felt absolute relief. I held onto the sides of the sink and took a deep breath.
A drop of blood landed on the right side of the sink.
Blood could be from biting my lip, or inside of my cheek or even my tongue in my sleep. Or a nosebleed.
Another drop of blood landed on the sink.
It was so weird. Nothing hurt. Not my nose, not my lip, not my tongue. I struggled to figure out what I did, why I would be bleeding. Did I do something foolish before I went to bed?
I couldn’t remember going to bed.
Time to look in the mirror. There wasn’t any obvious damage, so I used my fingers to move my lips away from the right side of my mouth.
My canine tooth was missing. Another, sharper tooth was working its way out of the gums. That’s where the blood was coming from.
I leaned in and looked more closely at it. The emerging canine was definitely tearing through the gum, making it bleed.
A scream worked its way up my throat. I stood up, ramrod straight, shut my mouth and gently placed the face cloth on it.
I tiptoed down the hall to Martine’s bedroom door. It was shut. She was breathing in a regular pattern, not quite snoring.
I came back to my bedroom and checked my phone. 4:45 AM. When did I come to bed? Baylun was here, I remembered him with Martine and then at the door. Seems like he’s gone, unless he’s sitting in the dark in the living room or kitchen.
Any other day, Martine would be waking up in two hours. If she does, I don’t doubt she’ll be excited to hear Baylun wants her to text him.
I want to throw up. A few hours ago, life felt so normal. Now a giant canine tooth is pushing its way into my mouth. Maybe the other one is, too. I don’t care to find out. I also don’t want to go to the hospital where I’ll run out of answers before the staff run out of questions.
Maybe I can take a couple of days off work, see if the new dental situation affects my sleep schedule. Maybe I can find a night job.
Or maybe I’m a vampire, condemned to a life of hunting humans and being hunted by humans. I’m going to wait until Martine gets up before posting this. She might have a lot more information on this.
My mind is clearer now. My memories are back. It’s time for me to disappear from Martine’s and my Aunt Gloria’s lives. I can do it. I must do it. For their safety, and for mine. Everything is not okay. Not yet.

Hello, I’ve been playing (amateurly but in a few bands) for almost two decades, since I was a teen. I’m left-handed, I play right-handedly and I’ve always had issues with pain in my left/fretting hand—especially with barring. I’m also an artist and sign painter, so I’m using my left hand aaaaaall the time. This could be exacerbating the issue.
Are there particular stretches, exercises, and things to avoid or try when playing or at rest? I think I have a tendency to generally press too hard on my strings but I play on my low action, short-scale jaguar, so it seems, at least partly, a problem with my form.
Most of my pain is in the crook/pad of the thumb, and the wrist tendons.
Thanks in advance for any advice.

After one particularly bad infection, I peed on myself when I got out the shower, it was foul, orange and I couldn’t even feel it. I’ve dealt with an infection every month. These started to ramp up after I had a medical abortion- don’t know if it’s relevant but it’s where my body just kinda gave up. Constant rhinitis and frequent UTIs.
I have one right now, started midday, knew immediately I was in for it. The worst part is, I don’t really get that burning pain WHILST urinating anymore, instead it’s a constant burn on what feels like the very entrance to the urethra and an ache in my stomach and sides. Does anyone else feel this constant burn?
Last time I had a 10day antibiotic round after being told there was no infection and then a call the next day saying there was. I forget the name of the bacteria she told me it was, something starting with S and originally from the intestine or something.
I just want this to end.

This article, predicting much greater coal consumption by China and India than the IEA, Yakov & Partners, and Sinopec, was posted to this subreddit before, but there was little discussion of the actual arguments made by the "superforecasters", probably because they were hidden away in the graphs showing the predictions. Here they are (each forecaster gave six predictions in total, covering China and India's coal consumption in 2026, 2030, and 2035) - do you think they are good arguments?
From forecaster predicting 4,963 Mt of coal consumption in China in 2026

The main two questions dominating this forecast for me are general predictions of peak coal and the relationship between coal consumption and economic growth (coupled with forecasts of Chinese growth over the next years). First, China’s ‘Dual Carbon’ goals set out by Xi Jinping in 2020 outline peak carbon emissions by 2030 and carbon neutrality by 2060. Of course, coal is not the only contributor to Chinese carbon emissions, and this goal might be unrealistic given the growth of coal consumption since 2020. SINOPEC on the other hand puts the predicted date of peak coal at around 2025 (https://daxtromn-power.com/blogs/news/sinopec-forecasts-peak-in-china's-coal-consumption-around-2025). This prediction is somewhat more optimistic than that of some recent academic research using optimized grey model that predicts that “coal consumption in China and India will continue to rise over the next five years” (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0360544221030358), though this builds on 2020 data and as such may be consistent with the former. This rough peak date of mid-to-late 2020s is also supported by academic work using system dynamics analysis putting the predicted time at 2027 (https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fenvs.2022.974763/full). Second, there has been quite some discussion in the academic literature on the relationship between economic growth and coal consumption in China. One strand of work looks at intensity effects (investigating how changes in coal consumption may result from changes in coal intensity, i.e., the amount of coal units used per economics output). This paper (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301479721019745?casa_token=JBy-zAuscS4AAAAA:2XeKft1HtziolUxdhzkDz0nr8B0ecjJvdCALy-G2IpXJmlZ1J1zfKv7kuIdGWy3KIIKoE3Rv2cA#bib55) finds a positive effect, suggesting that improvements in efficiency and secondary industries can reduce overall coal intensity. However, economic growth remains the main driver of this, even though the relationship between economic growth and coal consumption has weakened (though proper decoupling has not happened). This result has also been found by other papers (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301421522000374?casa_token=ur4I9csWPxMAAAAA:XvDnZS6_X4l6EF3B_cUEFbj37kZI-yj05pZekJnnRrpOpaQ8oJir3EQyqQXWLHavl3USIpYsMtE). Overall, these results point to a consistent relationship between economic growth and coal consumption, though this relationship is expected to weaken as the Chinese economy advances technologically. Putting these together as a baseline with respect to our forecasting questions, I agree with the rough picture that peak coal before 2026 is very unlikely (10% at best). I also think that the academic results with respect to the weak(ening) relationship between economic growth and coal consumption are likely to hold. However, I do anticipate Chinese growth to slow down substantially over the next years, with there already being quite substantial heterogeneity as to their current growth rate, reported to be over 5%, though unlikely to actually be that. Additionally, while renewable energy is unlikely to replace coal consumption any time soon, their status in the Chinese economy is likely to have substantial effects from around 2030 onwards (both in terms of price pressures in the context of solar but also with respect to the country’s image and the subsequent subsidies afforded to the renewable sector and away from coal as citizen’s concerns for clean air are likely to become more relevant as the rest of the economy advances). For 2026, I anticipate a slowing but consistent growth to about 4950 Mt, with a substantially heavier right tail.

From forecaster predicting 5,020 Mt of coal consumption in China in 2026

IEA's consistent under forecast factor of 2.8%, as mentioned by my fellow forecaster, would yield a corrected forecast of 4,927 MT for 2026. The slow down in the Chinese economy, particularly in the housing market, should lead to a slow-down in demand. This is likely to be offset by an increase in military production and a post-Covid peak return to normalcy of movement within China. Paradoxically the move towards EVs will diminish gas consumption at the cost of electric energy demand, partially driven by coal. China plans to increase their coal plant capacity by ~1/3. Why would they do this is if they do not expect a significant increase in demand? The current average age of coal plants in China is 13 years. They already have this sunk cost, with nearly 3 decades of life remaining in the existing capacity. Anything short of massive calamitous events that force a political recalculation, are unlikely to see a short term decrease in coal consumption. Green energy capacity is increasing, but not at a rate to cover the additional demand for energy, especially in a warming world. https://globalenergymonitor.org/projects/global-coal-plant-trackedashboard/

From forecaster predicting 5,022 Mt of coal consumption in China in 2026

In forecasting it's actually a good thing if you can find a person or institution that is consistently wrong. Fivethirtyeight had this insight with certain pollsters, finding that if they adjusted for partisan biases, the pollsters became a lot more reliable.The China 2026 coal forecast is therefore fairly straightforward, since I found that the past forecasting errors on the part of IEA offer a remarkable consistency of about 2.8 percentage points per year. My guess is this is basically the optimism bias that one finds in forecasting, often by people who admittedly have good intentions. Using that method a floor would then be 4,927 Mt for 2026, assuming no errors for IEA's 2023 estimate. Assuming that error does apply for 2023 (which would have been a winning strategy in past years) gets me to 5,022 for a 2026 median, which is higher than the IEA's 4,535 Mt. Then I have the right tail be longer than the left, given the experience of the past couple years. So overall the compound annual growth rate (CAGR) for these years should come to around 2.6%. This makes intuitive sense, since the long-term CAGR through 2017 was 2.7%, with an acceleration to 4.0% for the 2017-22 period.
According to globalenergymonitor.org, China has maintained a pace of issuing permits for 2 new coal power plants per week. Some of this is simply an offsetting of decommissioned old plants of course--according to the coal plant tracker dashboard, 2023 is looking like 136 GW in new construction for China but 120 GW of retirements. With China's energy consumption growing by 6% in 2023 according to IEA though, coal will remain part of the mix for the time being.
On the steel side of the ledger (this being the other major use of coal, to heat the metal), China's steel industry has been in the doldrums for a few years now, with only a slight increase in production in 2023. There are no expectations by the steel industry of higher profits or more stimulus coming (source). So because of all that, I don't expect much increase in coal consumption from that sector.
Finally, it's notable that ten years ago the forecasts for the peak were for around 2020, including by the Chinese government (see pages 3 and 45 here) At the moment Sinopec forecasts peak coal consumption for China to come in 2025. I would probably go more for the latter part of this decade given the momentums, but I think the key point is that the clean energy takeover in China has indeed been pushed back 5 to 10 years.

From forecaster predicting 5,038 Mt of coal consumption in China in 2026

As another forecaster points out, China has been on a bit of a coal burning spree recently: the pre-2017 CAGR was 2.7%, but it accelerated to 4.0% for the 2017-22 period. This was partly due to power shortages that some provinces of China experienced, particularly in 2021 and 2022. Meanwhile, poor rainfall in recent years combined with a decline in Chinese dam projects since 2015 meant that hydropower was unable to pick up the slack; as a percentage of electricity production, hydro actually fell from around 19% in 2014 to less than 16% in 2022, and utilisation was close to historic lows. Rainfall picked up in the summer of 2023, however, and this may stay high in 2024, which is one reason we might expect coal consumption not to increase too sharply and why the IEA might even be right that coal consumption will have peaked in 2023.
How did China increase its coal power generation? According to Global Energy Monitor’s Global Coal Plant Tracker, they revived previously cancelled and shelved projects and approved brand new ones. In 2023, it added almost 50,000 MW and retired less than 4,000 MW.
But just as renewable electricity capacity is not the same as renewable electricity generation (it makes up over 50% of China’s capacity but only about 26% of its generation), additional coal capacity doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be drawn on, as Hannah Ritchie points out. Indeed, coal consumption and coal-based electricity generation did fall around 2014 despite much more coal power capacity having been added than retired in the years preceding this. If the increase in renewable generation can outpace the increase in power demand for the first time, this could happen again.
That said, if Ritchie is right about coal plants being uneconomical (China is offering coal producers capacity payments to keep their plants online even when they’re not being used), this is arguably a sign that China is serious about utilising them at the expense of solar and wind (which have their own economic problems, absent good storage capabilities). Since power plant approvals are now decentralised, provincial leaders may judge that it’s better for the economy as a whole to avoid blackouts of a few hours even if coal plants become stranded assets. Most of the countries (Switzerland, France, Sweden, Iceland) that have managed to create a low-carbon or zero-carbon electricity system rely heavily on some mix of n***, hydro and geothermal, and China is only planning on producing 10% of its electricity from n*** by 2035.
Also, the IEA has been too optimistic in the past as a colleague notes, and I’d give more credence to the analyses cited by my colleagues suggesting that coal consumption will peak later this decade (although some these analyses seem to think coal consumption will ‘peak’ at a figure lower than the 2022 and 2023 figures, which is a bit confusing). Finally, a conflict between China and Taiwan could cause demand to stagnate or fall, as could a lacklustre economy (which will also impact steel production). On the other hand, it could cause China to ramp up coal production.
Overall, I don’t think coal consumption in 2026 will be as high as some forecasters are predicting (based on an extrapolation of recent trends), because hydropower may regress toward mean utilisation levels after falling close to historical lows during the drought in 2021 and 2022, while additional solar and wind capacity (even with low utilisation rates) may finally start to shoulder a significant part of the extra demand. However, I don’t think it will be as low as the IEA is projecting because solar and wind still have limitations (as discussed by others), n****** and hydropower probably aren’t sufficient for coal to peak in 2023, and the IEA has historically underestimated coal consumption. A peak in the latter half of the decade appears more plausible, especially as this is what China itself is signalling will happen.

continued in comments

At 6 weeks I was demeaned to have miscarried. I bled profusely and went to the hospital. They conducted an ultrasound, gave me pain and anxiety medication and told me I’d have to unfortunately “wait it out”. I profusely bled for 5 more months. Each week expressing to them that I don’t believe it’s a miscarriage - it’s something more than that. I just knew it. They prescribed more anxiety medication and told me to “wait it out”. My HCG levels kept fluctuating. 36 then 87 then 113, back to 42, up to 77. “Wait it out. Your body is just removing the cells”. I demanded another appointment at week 11 at this point. I had an appointment with my obgyn.
I went to the hospital the day before the appointment and told them I’m in insufferable pain. I can’t sit. I can’t stand. I’m bleeding blood clots rapidly. My pain was out of this world. They gave me more pain and anxiety me and sent me on my way. Said they couldn’t do anything for me. “Wait it out”. I went to my appointment the following day.
Within 24 hours, I had a ruptured left fallopian tube and 500ml of blood in my stomach. They rushed me to the OR within 2 hours. It was hands down the most traumatic experience of my life. Mentally confused, emotionally numb and broken down. I felt like my body wasn’t my own. My partner miraculously turned into the most heartless, dismissive and avoidant individual. It was all so traumatic. I had lyperscopic surgery as they removed my left fallopian tube and 500ml of blood from my stomach.
It’s been 7 months and it’s all in the same. My period still comes every other month ever since. All as clotty as the first time. The pain is horrendous. I can’t walk, my legs go numb, my lower back feels detached but most of all, the pain on my left side feels like a sharp stabbing pain. I typically feel the pain at least once a day if I over stretch or have to use the restroom but during my period the pain doesnt go away. I don’t like taking medication but I’ll take midol and use a heating pad but the pain is still sharpened.
So my question here is, is it normal to still feel so much pain? To speed bleed a heavy flow which isn’t typically normal for me. I become extremely sad and emotional the week before. It hurts significantly when I use the bathroom.
I’ve gone to the hospital when the pain is brutal and it’s the same routine. Pain/anxiety meds “wait it out”.
Im sick of constantly being told it’s my anxiety and having no true help.
Im 28 and I guess I just need some advice.

To clarify, I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.

I don't know what i am doing with my life. I have no ambition left but to maybe mend one thing from my past. But i literally can't even do that. I don't blame anyone, but honestly not even a single person around me who'd understand, not even the one person who has been my hope all my life. And guess what, they're going through their own BD, anxiety and depression. Where do i go now? I have ignored my mental state for too long now, im tired of being angry at everything, im tired of the relentless efforts i make to appear like the good guy, im fking tired of crying. I used to be a star kid, and look at me now, just a pile of disappointments, for literally everyone who has ever come in contact with me. Oh and why the fk do you love and lose. If you do, why can't i just move on. Even if if try to, why the f**k does life do something everytime to tie me up again. This is torture, this is endless pain. And i don't know how much longer can i take it.

I female age 15 was living in a camper in Rhode Island with my mom age 31 and my dad age 33 along with 2 siblings my mom got into a car crash which gave her a concussion so I had to take care of my family and was like a house wife every time I got off from school my dad didn't help unless it involved my siblings with his game console or with nothing other than steal my mom's stuff to go through it to make sure she didnt catch him cheating on her which she did but I hid it all which he had a suspicion of but my mom was acting like a child at the time I wasn't focused on the remarks my dad would make when i was In shorts about how my butt looked like mom's but bigger and how I was better than her while my mom was getting better my was about to be 15 but I notice while my dad made dirty remarks he was reading a online book and I caught him multiple times in my parents bedroom alone rocking his stick and why I mentioned this is because that book he was reading was my whole bathroom situation but with Mafia people in his book while reading my mom was mostly recovered by the week before my birthday and my dad gas lighted her that I did nothing while he did everything and my mom believed him for 2 days before he tattled on himself about looking through her phone and finding evidence of him cheating which make them fight and argue which they were doing before the crash during the week before my birthday I got a road rash which will be a scar for ever a reminder of how my dad was able to look at me in the camper the shower doors were made of glass and if the temperature was lukewarm then you could see everything on the other side I turned 15 on the day of my road rash I got into the shower around 8:00 p.m. while washing my wound my father went in there and didn't say a word and just started brushing his teeth and looking towards the mirror which at the time was not looking my way I was okay with it at first cuz I thought it would just be for that day but the next 3 weeks it went to a transition of him looking at the mirror then to him leaving the bathroom door open lean on the wall towards the shower staring while playing toxic masculinity podcast of how women and Young women should do what men tell them and I wasn't on social media a lot so I didn't know what "alpha" male ment but women would refer them as that or they would refer them selfs as that but then to every couple of days during those three weeks was like him pushing boundary after boundary to the point where I can't handle it cuz he tried to touch the doorknob to open the glass doors I told him that I wasn't comfortable two times along with my younger siblings telling him to get out because they saw him in there because the door was open which he told them that it was okay and that he was my dad and everybody deserve to be in there it was him during the third day of the first week of this happening I wanted to prove to myself that my father wasn't like his stepfather which was a S A @bus€r of mine when I was 4 through 6 and because I thought it was because of my schedule of me getting in the shower late so I changed my schedule throughout the last 2 weeks while he was pushing boundaries I would change the times where it would inconvenience my mother during her naps or whatever she needed to do to get better cuz she had appointments or she would be like dead asleep and she would need me to watch my siblings but I was busy in the shower and they were messing with her while she had a headache and my father was complaining about the hot water for dishes and other women chores I need or my mother needed to complete but the part that makes it the most messed up is that when it was 20 minutes of me being still in the shower he would walk out and I would hurry up and get out and he would go back to his game console or smoke a cigarette and not good to bed or a couple of hours on the last day of the third week my mom asked me about it cuz she was finally starting to be aware of everything and I told her to wait and I would get in the shower as soon as I got home and he will be in there and she didn't believe me but once I got home and got in there he was in there with the door open my mom grabbed him by his shoulder and ripped him out and yelled at him and told him if he ever did that again that she would go get her shotgun cuz now she's more aware than she has ever been after the crash and he said that I was taking a shower late and then maybe I should be taking showers so late and then maybe I should be using all the hot water and that I'm his daughter he changed my diapers so if he wants to be in there he can be in there if you want the door open for some air he can have it open cuz he also pays the bills and owns everything and that I should be grateful which made my mom come up with a plan to start secretly moving after that day I called my aunt and my uncle who did not believe me and thought there was a better explanation but they did see my point of view but still thought I was being dramatic they question my father and he lied and said it was for 3 days more arguments started and one day when I had a school day off my dad as soon as he found out stayed home while my mom had to be at a appointment and thought he already left but instead he went to chill and came back to have a conversation with me and told me that I was delusional and that if I was uncomfortable I should have told him and when I told him I did and that he didn't say a word he said that he must have not heard me and once I told him that I said it loud and clear and that all you did was sigh and looked like he was about to cry and was mad he said that I'm just like my mother and that we deserve each other and then went on to if he had to have boundaries with me then I have to have boundaries with my mother and we can't get changed in front of each other because we are both bisexual and then proceeded to tell me that I don't know what's going on and then told me that I should be ashamed because I don't know how it feels to feel like a predator in your own home which left me speechless because I know what it's like to have predators around you every corner and he knows this and when I told him that he told me to grow up and that my hormones should be kicking in and I should have already forgotten about his stepfather my mom came home and my dad said he wanted a divorce and felt like I would take his side which my mom says working on it and took me for a drive and I told her all about it and then a couple of days later I woke up to my mom crying and naked because my mom had sex with my dad and when he was done and he got her done he kicked her out of the room and when she was wondering why he said she was more convenient then to go get a stranger and do it in the back of a truck my mom told me to go back to bed and I did at the time not fully knowing what was going on till that day that my mom going back on her word thinking she needed him telling me not to break up the family and that if he agrees the counseling we're staying even if I said no and don't like it which he didn't of course and also I told her that I would kill her and him and that I have thought about it and was in their room multiple times with a weapon think about killing them both because of the things they do which made my mom understand that she needed to grow up and leave him now which is sad for me to say but we finished up packing we got a U-Haul and before we left my mom thought it would be fair to him if my siblings had a board game night with him which later I left cuz I couldn't handle that my siblings get a perfect dad well I always got a cursing child beating lying disciplining me for no reason father and couldn't handle that my mom didn't leave them for a military hasn't killed my father or believe me on many occasions or didn't do anything because of him and because of her always needing him he went to go find me a hour later and talked and walked with me said the same things as the other conversation and when I brought up multiple predators in my life and how he did nothing for example I had a high school boy threatened to r@p€ me in the third grade and him and his friends chase me around and has kissed me and touched me multiple times for 2 years and and he said that he couldn't because that high school boy was a friends son but told him to stop but this friend was a mistress of his which later to find out that it would have been 4 years of harassment if my mother didn't threaten to burn his house which again shows that my father is a liar and my mother even proved it to me by showing me pictures of text between the high school boy and the mother and her but at the end of the conversation a dark side of me popped out and just went to try to go grab the nearest gun to shoot him cuz my father has an eye nose twitch when he lies and he has to be active or loud when he's trying to be manipulative and at the end he thought we had a great dad and talk even though I was still crying and he was like a brick wall cuz he thought I was like my mom and I would give up my mom stopped me and told me that I shouldn't go to jail and that we are moving tomorrow she will make sure of it no more delays and no more of letting me down we move to Texas where we're originally from and while living with a relative my little siblings could talk to our father which slowly broke the relationship because he would always try to bring up me and how he wanted to talk to me which later you can't stand not talking to me that he stopped paying child support until I talk to him and in between breaking the relationship with my siblings slowly they started seeing the dad that I saw and while here with my relative my mom got some console and help cuz at the time my dad was paying for child support but there was enough to get me help which my family thinks I desperately need but when child support stopped her console stopped cuz she can't afford it then drama started happening with the relative we were with and we've been moving ever since but now my mom is on the road making a lot of money to make up for no child support until the child support office is get their affairs in order and we are living with relative to relative that will take us in and watches but my mom will be coming back soon to get a rent house so that we can finally settle down after a whole year of dealing with all this without him and I'll be 16 and I don't know how to feel cuz it marks the anniversary of a scar physical emotional and mental and still cuts deep

Hello everybody,
I would like to change a variable, with multiple references all over the program, from one DB to another DB, repleacing the old one, and i'm already anoyed by changing by bare hand one by one, wondering there should be smarter way to do it.
I was using "repleace" function in "Task" section at right side of the screen, but this works only for one active window at the time, which is not optimal in case of multiple references at FCs and FBs
So do you know about some ways to make it less painful in case of multiple variables with many referencing?
Running TIA v13 with switching to TIA v16 in near future
Thank you

My (22F) son just turned one year old. I feel like a majority of people have villages & good partners to help them raise their kids and I just don’t have that. Sure, my family loves the baby more than anything, but does anyone actually help me? No. My parents take him for me maybe once every two weeks for a few hours and it’s just not enough. The best part is they expect to see him a few times a week, but I need to be there to do everything bc early 40 year olds can’t handle it for a few hours without me. They pressured me into having him when I was young & unsure, swore they’d be here if I had him and I wouldn’t have to lose everything but I should’ve known it was a lie.
I love my baby with every shred of my being, I love our days & I love hanging with him so trust me I wouldn’t change anything except I should’ve left my partner. I just feel like any type of help is conditional and near non existent. I have no money, my boyfriend makes 1200 every two weeks as a mechanic and gives me very small amounts of money as needed. I get NO time to myself and friends, 0. From 7:30 am - 8 pm I’m non stop without a break because during his very short nap times I need to run around doing things for the baby & the crappy apartment we live in & it’s deteriorating my mental health.
My “partner” is what I believe is an undiagnosed narsassict so my life is literally a living hell. He works from 8-5 30 mins away so he comes home miserable, nasty, doesn’t help me, goes to the gym 3 days a week after work or goes down to the basement to hang out with his friends and work on his new side business. If I had a good partner I think things would be a lot different for me. I can’t even ask the man to change a diaper in a timely manor. He takes 20+ minutes to do anything I ask because he sits on his phone and gets mad at me for being annoying & repeating myself. Im sorry for the long vent, Im just so unhappy. I cry every single day. I just need more help or someone who wants to be there for me and not just the baby. I feel like no one even cares about me or how visibly bad I’ve been doing mentally.
There’s so much to explain about my life, that this doesn’t cover even a quarter of what I’m going through and I’m prob gonna make a post somewhere else just to vent and get it all out.
I just wanted to know if this is normal, what other peoples lives look like and some perspective. I see on social media moms struggling without having a village and how it’s become Normalized that mothers do everything by themselves with no help from anyone. I want to know who else is going through something similar or if this is normal when having a baby. I’ll answer any questions because there’s so much more to my situation I can’t even cover.
Just to be clear- my baby is my bestest friend and I love him more than anything.

tldr; One mouse with an abdominal tumor is hyper aggressive to all other mice, needs to be kept separate but she doesn't have much longer to live or to be slowly reintroduced to the group. What to do?
I recently made a post about my newest girl, sushi, who grew a lump between her hips. It turns out it is a hard lump, so I'm not expecting her to have much longer. She's only threeish months old, so it's definitely a genetic issue. Im wondering if maybe the same genetic issue could be whats causing her aggression, or if it could be the pain.
I got her back in march with one other girlie, mochi, with the plans of adding them to my main colony when i got a larger tank. Introductions did NOT go good, specifically bc of sushi.
To be fair, i did rush the introductions a bit bc she was doing fine at first. yes, they squabbled, but I've done plenty of intros at this point and i know it was just normal hierarchy establishing. As soon as they were put in the perm tank, though? she began to attack EVERYONE. not dominate them, but attack them. she would run all the way across the tank and continue to pursue them for a minute at a time. would jump immediately from attacking one mouse t the next.
i tried to stay hands off and let them work it out. that was until she bit one of my favorite and oldest ladies, ginger, to the point when ginger ran away sushi was dragged behind her by the teeth. I IMMEDIATELY grabbed sushi, threw her in a 15 gallon, and took ginger out to wash her wounds.
That was sunday night.
It's been three days since i removed sushi and i haven't heard one single fight between the main colony, not even from mochi. when sushi was in the tank the fighting was every couple of minutes. The only squeaking i hear is when they're grooming each other and they make that happy squeak.
even sushi seems happier like this. it's the first time I've seen her popcorn, let alone so frequently. When i tested a play-date reintroduction (a short test introduction to see if she chilled out enough for a proper intro) she was fine for ten minutes before going right after ginger again and then nearly killing herself by running after another girl who was on the ropes.
At this point I'm debating leaving sushi alone permanently. I want her to be happy and to have connection but i cannot risk the lives and safety of eight other mice. Especially because sushi likely doesn't have much longer to live and is stressed out by any and all other mice.
Should i consider sticking with the introductions so she's surrounded by other mice when she eventually passes, or would that simply be too much stress? how can i make her more comfortable while not sacrificing my other girlies?

So I recently made my first post here on this subreddit and my first post in general ( still new on Reddit even though I made the account years ago ), about getting a change from Tilidin to Tapentadol. I was taking Tilidin for my back pain for 10 years and Doc and I came to the conclusion that it is time for a substance change without increasing the overall dose too much. It is often heard that just changing around the substance is helping many people in dealing with their pain and Doc was not opposed to it, luckily. ( Found myself a great one ) Now I been to the doc again to discuss the latest ECG and blood test. Nothing worry-some there except a low-ish hemoglobin, and I told him about a pain I don't really get controlled for the last 4-5 weeks. It's right between my shoulder blades on the spine including the muscles left and right from it, and it makes walking and sitting a tragedy, but worst, totally messes with my sleep.
I do take 150mg of Tapentadol in the morning and evening and it was always really effective in what it did, just that this pain always punched through again after some hours. The IR Tapentadol I had ( 50mg/pill ) was not the best help. I had to take two sometimes three to tackle it so I can sleep, or move right after waking up from pain. He doesn't like me being dependent on so much IR medication, which I can totally understand ( the IR comes with a high, which makes an addiction "worse" and so on ), so the decision was made to change the substance again.
The surprising part is, that he went very high in the list instantly. Not a small jump to Morphine or Oxycodone, no. I will now test some Fentanyl Patches for a month. Damn. I have a lot of respect for that. Being from the medical field I know of its potency, and also dangers, so while I am thankful, I am also approaching the whole situation with a lot of respect. It's the 2nd lowest dosage of patches you can get, so we didn't go overboard there, but it still is a significant jump. That said I am happy that he listens to me and we approach everything on a professional non-judgemental level. After having been through years of terrible experiences with doctors in my youth. It's reaffirming and makes me happy / good for my psychological well-being to have such interactions. I am "excited" to see how this will turn out. I have high hopes for it and don't mind at all going over to patches and away from pills and IR pills. As I told my doctor: " I don't get happiness from being high, I get happiness from being able to live my life and do the things I love without pain stopping me from doing them. " I still don't have a proper diagnose, which is sad, but I get more than proper treatment ( many different medication , physical therapy, soon psychological therapy and so on ) so I really can't complain. A new set of diagnostics will be done in a few months in a special clinic focused on muscle / spine / etc pain. Maybe that will shine some light in the dark.
So...that was a lot longer than expected. I don't have any friends to share this with, so I thought I share it with you people. The ones that are the most likely to understand. Thanks for reading, and as a good measure, sorry for any spelling mistakes or impropewrong words. English is not my first language. x) Enjoy your day, I hope it's as sunny and warm as mine. C17

I hope this is okay to post here.
Honestly, this is probably the first medication I've had with the least amount of side effects so I'm not complaining too much.
I've had the typical stuff - drowsiness, constipation and some gut issues. I'm even thinking of taking it before bed so I can sleep when the drowsiness kicks in.
However, I've noticed some chest pain which I'm almost certain is just muscle pain. I've been burping a lot from the gut issues so my mother thinks it's just wind but I'm not sure. Just some sharp pains every now and then on the left and right sides of my clavicle. This wouldn't bother me too much but the chest was a trigger of mine when I had panic attacks and I can feel the anxiety around it coming back, so I want to sort it out as soon as I can.
My clinician is a bit hard to get hold of but I am trying to get a call from her to talk about it.
My BP has been completely fine, with my heart rate being a bit raised (but never over 100 bpm).
Just wondered if anyone has experienced this and any advice on handling it while I wait for my clinician to get back to me?
For more reference, I didn't get on with any stimulants so this is my very last chance at finding a medication that helps. I am desperate for this to work but will accept it not being for me if I have to.

Understanding jQuery Email Obfuscation

In the digital age, protecting email addresses from automated spam bots has become a paramount concern for web developers and content creators alike. jQuery, a powerful and widely-used JavaScript library, offers a range of solutions to obfuscate email addresses, thereby shielding them from the prying eyes of malicious entities. This technique involves dynamically encoding or hiding email addresses on web pages, making it difficult for bots to scrape and misuse them. The process not only enhances website security but also ensures the privacy of communication channels in an increasingly interconnected world.
However, implementing jQuery email obfuscation scripts is not without its challenges. Developers often encounter issues related to script compatibility, performance, and user experience. For instance, an obfuscation script might work perfectly on one website but cause unexpected errors or display issues on another, due to differences in the website's structure or conflicting JavaScript. Moreover, the balance between security and accessibility is a delicate one; overly complex obfuscation methods can hinder the user's ability to easily interact with email addresses, potentially affecting communication efficiency and overall user satisfaction.

Command	Description
$.fn.text()	Gets the combined text contents of each element in the set of matched elements, including their descendants.
$.fn.html()	Gets the HTML contents of the first element in the set of matched elements or sets the HTML contents of every matched element.
$.fn.attr()	Gets the value of an attribute for the first element in the set of matched elements or sets one or more attributes for every matched element.

Expanding on jQuery Email Obfuscation Techniques

Email obfuscation is a critical technique for protecting email addresses displayed on websites from being harvested by spammers and bots. The primary goal of email obfuscation is to deceive automated scripts that scour the internet for email addresses to add to spam lists, without compromising the usability for human users. jQuery, with its rich set of functions and methods, allows web developers to implement these obfuscation techniques with ease and efficiency. By dynamically encoding or disguising email addresses on a webpage, jQuery scripts can significantly reduce the likelihood of email addresses being picked up by malicious software. This method is beneficial for both personal and business websites, where the publication of contact information is essential for communication purposes.
Despite its advantages, the implementation of email obfuscation using jQuery requires careful consideration of the user experience. It's important that while making it difficult for bots to read email addresses, the process remains intuitive for human users. Techniques such as encoding email addresses into HTML entities or using JavaScript to dynamically generate mailto links are common practices. However, developers must ensure that these methods do not hinder the accessibility of the website, especially for users with disabilities or those using screen readers. Furthermore, as spammers continually evolve their techniques, developers must stay updated with the latest trends in email obfuscation to ensure the continued effectiveness of their methods.

Basic jQuery Email Obfuscation Example

Using jQuery Library

Advanced jQuery Email Obfuscation with HTML Encoding

Applying jQuery and HTML Entities

Exploring jQuery Email Obfuscation Techniques

Email obfuscation using jQuery is a strategic approach to prevent spam by disguising email addresses on web pages from bots. This method typically involves JavaScript to dynamically encode or cloak the email address, making it unreadable to automated scripts that scrape websites for email addresses. The primary goal is to protect email addresses from being harvested by spammers while keeping them accessible and usable for human visitors. Obfuscation techniques vary from simple character replacements to more complex encodings, such as using ASCII values or integrating data attributes that require JavaScript to decode.
The effectiveness of jQuery email obfuscation lies in its balance between user accessibility and security. By using jQuery, developers can implement these techniques with minimal impact on the site's performance and without significantly altering the user experience. However, it's important to note that while obfuscation can reduce spam, it is not a foolproof solution. Spammers continually evolve their methods to bypass common obfuscation techniques. Therefore, combining email obfuscation with other anti-spam measures, such as CAPTCHAs or spam filters, can provide a more robust defense against email harvesting bots.

Frequently Asked Questions on jQuery Email Obfuscation

1. Question: What is jQuery email obfuscation?
2. Answer: It's a method to hide email addresses on websites from bots, using jQuery to dynamically encode them, making it harder for spammers to collect.
3. Question: How does jQuery email obfuscation work?
4. Answer: It typically involves JavaScript to encode email addresses into a format unreadable by bots but can be decoded by browsers for user interaction.
5. Question: Is jQuery email obfuscation completely secure?
6. Answer: While it significantly reduces the risk of email harvesting, no method is entirely foolproof against determined spammers.
7. Question: Can obfuscation affect email usability for visitors?
8. Answer: Properly implemented, it should not. The obfuscated email can still be clicked or copied by users without noticing the underlying code.
9. Question: Are there any downsides to using jQuery for email obfuscation?
10. Answer: It requires JavaScript to be enabled in the user's browser, which could be a limitation for a small number of visitors.
11. Question: How can I implement jQuery email obfuscation?
12. Answer: By encoding the email address in a way that requires jQuery to decode it on the client side, making it readable for users but not bots.
13. Question: Do I need to know jQuery to use email obfuscation?
14. Answer: Basic knowledge of jQuery and JavaScript is helpful, but there are many ready-to-use scripts available.
15. Question: Can spammers bypass jQuery email obfuscation?
16. Answer: Yes, as spammers continually update their techniques, it's possible to bypass obfuscation methods, which is why it should be part of a broader anti-spam strategy.
17. Question: Should jQuery email obfuscation be used alone?
18. Answer: No, it's best used in conjunction with other anti-spam measures for more comprehensive protection.
19. Question: Where can I find resources to learn more about jQuery email obfuscation?
20. Answer: There are numerous online tutorials, forums, and documentation on jQuery and email obfuscation techniques.

Wrapping Up jQuery Email Obfuscation

Email obfuscation through jQuery presents a practical solution in the ongoing battle against spam and automated data harvesting. By encoding email addresses on web pages, developers can significantly reduce the likelihood of their exposure to malicious bots. This strategy, while not foolproof, adds a layer of security that complicates the process for spammers. It's important for developers to stay abreast of the latest obfuscation techniques and spammer tactics, ensuring their methods remain effective. Moreover, combining jQuery obfuscation with other security measures can provide a more solid defense against unwanted email collection. Ultimately, the goal is to protect user information without compromising the ease of communication, a balance that jQuery obfuscation helps to achieve. As the digital landscape evolves, so too must our approaches to security, with ongoing adaptation and learning being key to safeguarding our online presence.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/jquery/resolving-challenges-with-jquery-email-obfuscation-techniques

45F 180lbs autism, osteoarthritis in right hip, bone on bone, naproxen 500mg, paracetamol, codiene 15mg x 4 a day. Iron, vitamin K, calcium, vit-d, multi vitamins, turmeric.
UK.
In March, I saw my GP, regarding continence issues, (bladder and bowel) severe pain in my hip, problems with my mobility. He called me a drug addict, (his exact words, said it 4-5 times during the consultation) and told me to do a urine sample because it was an infection and probably due to my age. Results came back borderline but I can’t get back because I have difficulty walking there.
I have stopped taking all the medication because I’m scared that I have become an addict. I can’t afford to be addicted to drugs because I have to look after children with additional needs and my elderly father.
Now, my mobility is getting worse. I’m getting the same hip pain, stiffness, etc. in the morning and sometimes evening, both legs don’t work. I’m Not paralysed, just numb and it’s like walking through a swimming pool if that makes sense. I’m also getting lower back pain with it at well.
It’s not consistent so it’s not all the time, just mainly mornings and evenings. It has happened just now and I’ve had to sit down.
I use a rollator to walk, so I push down on the handles to lift myself up and take the strain off my hips, so if something happens when I’m out I can just use the rollator to sit down, or lift myself up and carry on.
I have notices clicking in my knees as well now.
Has the arthritis spread?

To clarify, I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.