Hey all!! I’m currently going through the process to try and donate my kidney to my friend. I have been reading lots about the recovery and people’s experience after, but I’m curious if anyone worked as a server post surgery? It’s honestly my only real worry. I know you can’t lift more than 10lbs for weeks, which would be a challenge but doable. I’m just wondering if it’s unrealistic of me to think I’ll be back to work after 2 weeks. TIA :)

Long, vulnerable post alert 🥹
Hi everyone! I had a hysterectomy in October 2023 and the surgeon accidentally cut my bladder (it was a large bladder injury - approx 5inch hole cut in my bladder), which turned into a fistula (I had to wear a catheter and adult diapers for months). A urologist tried to repair but the bladder injury was so severe that he had to refer me to an urology oncologist. Due to the nature/location of the fistula, I had a UTI and was on antibiotics from October when the bladder injury occurred through the next surgery to try to prevent a kidney infection, which decreased my overall gut health. I was out of work for 6 weeks following the hysterectomy, then went back to work until my next surgery in February 2024 to repair my fistula and surrounding area as well as damage to my colon, all of which was a result of the hysterectomy. The following week after that surgery, I developed a bilateral kidney infection and turned septic and was back in the hospital for another 7 days fighting for my life. My oncologist ordered me to be on leave until June to recover and heal from surgery, kidney infection, sepsis, and work to rebuild my overall health, but my sick and vacation leave have officially run out. We have 4 young children and financially are a two income family. I have been approved for the federal leave donation program and while I don’t usually like to put myself out there to ask for handouts, I am stepping out of my comfort zone to ask if anyone has any leave that they would like to donate, I would be so grateful.
If employees within GSA wish to donate leave, they may do so by visiting the https://vltp.gsa.gov/ website.
If federal employees outside of GSA wish to donate leave, they may do so by completing the Request to Donate Annual Leave(Outside Agency) form. The donor will complete Part A, and Part B must be completed by the donor's respective VLTP/OHRM Coordinator. The completed form should then be emailed to lakita.rivero@gsa.gov
Thank you sincerely for your consideration.

Long, vulnerable post alert 🥺
Hi everyone! I had a hysterectomy in October 2023 and the surgeon accidentally cut my bladder (it was a large bladder injury - approx 5inch hole cut in my bladder), which turned into a fistula (I had to wear a catheter and adult diapers for months). A urologist tried to repair but the bladder injury was so severe that he had to refer me to an urology oncologist. Due to the nature/location of the fistula, I had a UTI and was on antibiotics from October when the bladder injury occurred through the next surgery to try to prevent a kidney infection, which decreased my overall gut health. I was out of work for 6 weeks following the hysterectomy, then went back to work until my next surgery in February 2024 to repair my fistula and surrounding area as well as damage to my colon, all of which was a result of the hysterectomy. The following week after that surgery, I developed a bilateral kidney infection and turned septic and was back in the hospital for another 7 days fighting for my life. My oncologist ordered me to be on leave until June to recover and heal from surgery, kidney infection, sepsis, and work to rebuild my overall health, but my sick and vacation leave have officially run out. We have 4 young children and financially are a two income family. I have been approved for the federal leave donation program and while I don’t usually like to put myself out there to ask for handouts, I am stepping out of my comfort zone to ask if anyone has any leave that they would like to donate, I would be so grateful.
If employees within GSA wish to donate leave, they may do so by visiting the https://vltp.gsa.gov/ website.
If federal employees outside of GSA wish to donate leave, they may do so by completing the Request to Donate Annual Leave(Outside Agency) form. The donor will complete Part A, and Part B must be completed by the donor's respective VLTP/OHRM Coordinator. The completed form should then be emailed to lakita.rivero@gsa.gov
Thank you sincerely for your consideration.

Hello everyone. I had an amazing experience this weekend. I went to Emerge in San Diego, put on by AWAKEN church. I’m actually in the RCIA process to become a confirmed Catholic and went out here to join my brother and his family. Their church is more believing in speaking in tongues, blessings, spiritual healings, and other gifts from the lord. I’m going through a lot of turmoil in my life and I encourage anyone interested to reach out for the full story I’ll be happy to share, especially because it so strongly resonates with this event.
Anyway when I got there my brothers mother in law believes in “Bible flips” and the ability of them to give you direction and basically answer any question on your heart through the word of God.
Where I’m at I was ready to try anything and let her do this and did my best to believe. The flip said in summary: I need direction and I’m confused, I need to lean on my family and friends, and to set myself free from a mental prison I’ll need to trust Jesus more. I was in fact confused and definitely leaning on my family for support in this time.
Fast forward to the event, there’s gonna be 9 pastors. All with whatever message they want to bring. The first message I kid you not was “ fix your broken compass” “lean on your brothers(friends and family)” “trust Jesus” “ love your wife”-> to be set free from containment.
The first pastors message fired on all cylinders out the gate directly at the flip. I was still skeptical, but it energized me to dive deeper into trusting whatever would happen this week. I watched another pastor heal a man’s hearing to take out and throw away his hearing aids, another man walk after knee surgery without his cane, and wake a 12yo boy from a coma. I’ve seen these things before and just said luck but this time was a bit more confident it was real, and started to believe. As my mind raced and every pastors message fired at the struggles I’m currently in I started to develop a plan for what I wanted to do next, my direction if you will. However I was nervous that these might be my choices and not Gods path for me.
I leaned in further through the 3 day event, I even laid hands on a man who was using a back brace and muscle relaxers to keep walking and prayed and pleaded for healing… next day he was running around no brace or pills even though he had worn it/taken them all week.
I prayed over men and meditated on images, to which each man had a different image in my head associated with a color.
When I returned I went straight to his mother in law and said we need another flip, I need clarity that God is giving me this direction. She said it would just be the same and I didn’t need it. I said no you don’t understand I think I’ve found direction and I’m ready to confirm clarity, she lit up so fast and ran for the Bible. Removed any notes or cards, flipped it spun it and did everything to mix up the blank covered book so I couldn’t tell front from back….
I OPENED TO THE THIRD VERSE I FLIPPED ORIGINALLY, telling me to trust the Lord to free myself from this prison. She laughed and said FLIPPED IT AGAIN! I proceeded two more times flipping to verses about trust. Now she has an interpretation Bible and it has more pages and suggestions in it as you go, the third one gave me a literal chart of ways to worship and trust God more. I immediately got up and took the steps I was working through all week.
Then one of the men mentioned the colors I saw at service and she jumped again, pulled out a dream/vision interpretation book. Started asking me about each person in the room. EVERY COLOR INTERPRETATION MATCHED THEIR STRUGGLE IN LIFE AND THE JOURNEY THEY WERE ON. A woman I just met 2 minutes before that stood up and said I need prayer from you, before she spoke they asked if I saw a color and I said yellow and described it. Turns out the interpretation for what I described was an illness or infection. I asked what she needed prayer for…. INFECTION IN HER LEG, showed me the photo. Then before I left a man I just met and said no more than 10 words to all week, I went up to and told him what I prayed over him the night before while he stood around the fire. I saw a certain set of butterfly wings and he demanded we find the exact one. I showed him a photo, turns out the species I saw is only native to Brazil…. He laughed and said his family immigrated from BRAZIL!!
I have every confidence, especially after this experience that God will deliver me from these troubled times if I walk in his words and follow every pull I get to do a move. If anyone has a question or wants to know more please ask!
The reason I came here was because I have a pull to share my testimony and see if any Christian’s want to donate to my cause. If you want the cause and story message me. This post is just for my testimony.
God bless you all!!!!

Xposted in wls too
Hi! I'm 36F, 5'5, with HW 330, CW 275, GW 150. BMI 46. My insurance will cover VSG or RNY. Originally I was pretty set on VSG, but after some reading I am having second thoughts. My dr says I can expect to lose 80-100 lbs with VSG, so GW 175. At the time, I was ok with that, but tbh Id rather be 150ish, and I'm really concerned with whether VSG can get me there or not, given my history.
Long backstory.. ive been overweight my entire life. I have hashimotos and pcos. My hashi's has been under control for some time with meds. Pcos I only have physical symptoms and (according to labs) no insulin resistance or Diabetes. About 12 yrs ago I was 330ish lbs and got serious about my weight loss. I did weight watchers, south beach diet, keto, zumba, gym, you name it. The weight wasn't coming off fast enough, so i became anorexic and started going to the gym twice a day. My lowest wt was 160. Even then, I was losing maybe 7lbs a month. Once I started eating again, the weight came right back with a vengeance. I gained 90 lbs. I got married and we tried to conceive, but we were not successful, so fertility treatments (medicated TI & IUI) ensued. Those failed, and i decided to pursue ivf. Prior to ivf i got down to 209 lbs but it took strict keto, < 1200 cals/day, and working out at the gym about 4 hrs a week (cardio and strength training). My ivf also failed, so over the course of the next 9 months id had 2 different laparoscopic surgeries for endometriosis, and more ivf. I finally got pregnant, and ballooned to 278 lbs before my daughter was born. I did not lose weight when she was born either. I had a traumatic CS and my incision didn't heal immediately so i couldn't work out for awhile. I stayed 278 for 2 years. I tried exercise, keto, everything that worked before, no luck. I then tried phentermine and qsymia added on to that. I lost absolutely nothing.. still.. and developed cholecystitis so i had laparoscopic gallbladder removal. Over the next 3 yrs I tried contrave (even though i don't binge eat), and alli too. I finally got to the point that i went under 1000 cals a day and exercised like crazy just in desperation to stsrt losing again. I also did phentermine again. I got down to 236 but it took a long time. In jan 2023 i had a 4th laparoscopic surgery, for endometriosis again. I did ivf last april and got pregnant with my son. I didn't gain much weight in that pregnancy at first because i was counting calories (1500) and exercising, but then i developed cervical insufficiency, requiring an emergency cerclage procedure, so no more exercise allowed. I got right back up to 278 when my son was born via CS in dec 2023. I'm 4m postpartum and still holding that weight. Im eating 1200-1400 cal a day, low carbs, and exercising 150 min a week (spinning on peloton + strength). I quit breastfeeding my son partly because i felt like it wasn't allowing me to lose weight, but ive still only lost a few lbs since i quit that. I tried to get zepbound and wegovy, but insurance denied them multiple times. I just had lab work done, and I'm the healthiest fat person ever. No cholesterol issues, diabetes, nothing. I just cannot understand why i can't lose weight without extreme measures, and even then, the wt loss is slow af.
I just met with the dietician at my surgeon's office for metabolic testing. No surprise, my metabolism is slower than it should be. She said in order to lose a lb a week, id need to continue exercise and eat 1300 cals a day or less. Except.. I'm doing that now and not really losing a lb a week. At this point I'm just tired. I can't keep going like this. Hence why I'm pursuing wls. My biggest concern is whether or not this will fail too. I was concerned about VSG not giving me the weight loss i want, but at the same time, I'm scared of RNY absorption issues (particularly with ivf meds and aspirin that i have to take if i try for another baby in a few yrs) and other complications. My insurance will cover vsg to rny revision too, so i thought maybe try VSG and then revise in a year if I'm not happy, but Id need to meet criteria for coverage (over 40 bmi, or severe GERD).
TLDR; I want to lose about 125lbs, but pcos and thyroid issues have always given me trouble, even with an ED and overexercising. Now I'm worried wls will fail me too, and i can't pick between vsg or rny. Suggestions? Id love opinions/pov's from others who have been in this same boat too!
If you've made it this far, you're the real MVP.

Hi! I'm 36F, 5'5, with HW 330, CW 275, GW 150. BMI 46. My insurance will cover VSG or RNY. Originally I was pretty set on VSG, but after some reading I am having second thoughts. My dr says I can expect to lose 80-100 lbs with VSG, so GW 175. At the time, I was ok with that, but tbh Id rather be 150ish, and I'm really concerned with whether VSG can get me there or not, given my history.
Long backstory.. ive been overweight my entire life. I have hashimotos and pcos. My hashi's has been under control for some time with meds. Pcos I only have physical symptoms and (according to labs) no insulin resistance or Diabetes. About 12 yrs ago I was 330ish lbs and got serious about my weight loss. I did weight watchers, south beach diet, keto, zumba, gym, you name it. The weight wasn't coming off fast enough, so i became anorexic and started going to the gym twice a day. My lowest wt was 160. Even then, I was losing maybe 7lbs a month. Once I started eating again, the weight came right back with a vengeance. I gained 90 lbs. I got married and we tried to conceive, but we were not successful, so fertility treatments (medicated TI & IUI) ensued. Those failed, and i decided to pursue ivf. Prior to ivf i got down to 209 lbs but it took strict keto, < 1200 cals/day, and working out at the gym about 4 hrs a week (cardio and strength training). My ivf also failed, so over the course of the next 9 months id had 2 different laparoscopic surgeries for endometriosis, and more ivf. I finally got pregnant, and ballooned to 278 lbs before my daughter was born. I did not lose weight when she was born either. I had a traumatic CS and my incision didn't heal immediately so i couldn't work out for awhile. I stayed 278 for 2 years. I tried exercise, keto, everything that worked before, no luck. I then tried phentermine and qsymia added on to that. I lost absolutely nothing.. still.. and developed cholecystitis so i had laparoscopic gallbladder removal. Over the next 3 yrs I tried contrave (even though i don't binge eat), and alli too. I finally got to the point that i went under 1000 cals a day and exercised like crazy just in desperation to stsrt losing again. I also did phentermine again. I got down to 236 but it took a long time. In jan 2023 i had a 4th laparoscopic surgery, for endometriosis again. I did ivf last april and got pregnant with my son. I didn't gain much weight in that pregnancy at first because i was counting calories (1500) and exercising, but then i developed cervical insufficiency, requiring an emergency cerclage procedure, so no more exercise allowed. I got right back up to 278 when my son was born via CS in dec 2023. I'm 4m postpartum and still holding that weight. Im eating 1200-1400 cal a day, low carbs, and exercising 150 min a week (spinning on peloton + strength). I quit breastfeeding my son partly because i felt like it wasn't allowing me to lose weight, but ive still only lost a few lbs since i quit that. I tried to get zepbound and wegovy, but insurance denied them multiple times. I just had lab work done, and I'm the healthiest fat person ever. No cholesterol issues, diabetes, nothing. I just cannot understand why i can't lose weight without extreme measures, and even then, the wt loss is slow af.
I just met with the dietician at my surgeon's office for metabolic testing. No surprise, my metabolism is slower than it should be. She said in order to lose a lb a week, id need to continue exercise and eat 1300 cals a day or less. Except.. I'm doing that now and not really losing a lb a week. At this point I'm just tired. I can't keep going like this. Hence why I'm pursuing wls. My biggest concern is whether or not this will fail too. I was concerned about VSG not giving me the weight loss i want, but at the same time, I'm scared of RNY absorption issues (particularly with ivf meds and aspirin that i have to take if i try for another baby in a few yrs) and other complications. My insurance will cover vsg to rny revision too, so i thought maybe try VSG and then revise in a year if I'm not happy, but Id need to meet criteria for coverage (over 40 bmi, or severe GERD).
TLDR; I want to lose about 125lbs, but pcos and thyroid issues have always given me trouble, even with an ED and overexercising. Now I'm worried wls will fail me too, and i can't pick between vsg or rny. Suggestions? Id love opinions/pov's from others who have been in this same boat too!
If you've made it this far, you're the real MVP.

Banned Bird.....you've absolutely outdone yourself......
And not in a good way.
I've read over your report a few times and you've failed miserably in terms of trying to deliver facts, evidence and corroboration and you've used your own personal feelings towards an individual and not had the simple knowledge how to even factor in which laws are being broken by Elphaba to sway your personal argument, not to mention some of the wording and phrases you've used without even explaining it, "doxxing" as an example.
So here goes.....
You started off with a personal letter to Elphaba. Big waste of time because she isn't going to read it, and she frankly doesn't care. Neither Elphaba nor her parent is going to care whether she has "Mommy issues" or not, or even Daddy issues if you want to go that deep. And let's be clear, you also don't care about Elphaba's welfare or anything else except the clout and the spoils that it brings.
1) Your own experience of tiktok has been "poor," to say the least, yet you spend copious amounts of time on the app.
2) You keep your personal details privately for understandable reasons, yet you have "leaked" the location of Elphaba on social media yourself to stir up issues for this very problematic creator. You know what the consequences of this could be for anyone, yet you wish for your own details to remain confidential and private. So what makes you a person better or more deserving of privacy over someone else? Regardless of their actions.
3) You do have some valid points of behaviour from these problematic behaviours, but unfortunately, this is a much bigger issue within society compared to specific individuals. As you're aware, some people will prey on the vulnerable and exploit them, extremely wrong to do so, but it is something that isn't going to stop or be changed overnight. You also reference naracassctic personality traits and displays of behaviour, yet you aren't a trained clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, and Dr. Google just doesn't cut the mustard. Yes, I agree fully these these problematic people, specifically Elphaba, display behaviour, but there is nothing "illegal" in having warped personality traits.
4) Injustice, unfortunately, does happen every day within our society and bullying. Victimisation, of course, happens, any it shouldn't. But as detailed in your "report," you are, of course, using the term "injustice" to fit your own narrative as you've cleared stated you have faced this. So why have you faced this? Is it because people have legitimate questions or concerns, and you're not supplying enough information to quench those concerns. You simply can't say you're being attacked because people are concerned or your own actions, even innocently are being questioned along with your motives.
5) I would also like to point out that you've referenced "illegal behaviours" by some of these creators, so which laws and legislations have been broken? Surely, such a "concrete case to be used in evidence" would outline the facts, the laws and legislations broken along with sufficient evidence to corroborate it. Yes, Chelsea Lee Art has been arrested for racially aggravated behaviour and racist behaviour, but technically, until she is found guilty in court, she is proved innocent. I have no time or patience for racism in any form, yet adding this into your report without conviction or legal due process is missing the mark entirely.
6) Yes, Elphaba has openly claimed that gifts and go fund me donations are for transgender surgery (male to female) and after three years of the constant back and forth, we are yet to see any of this materialise. I completely understand, and I'm in agreement. This is absolutely disgusting and wrong that she has done this, but for a case to even be submitted in civil court against her or for police action/investigation to be taken seriously, it has to be reported by a "victim" of this rouse and with enough proof that the crown office wouldn't dismiss it.
7) It's more than obvious that Elphaba, among many others who financially groom viewers, targets a young audience and manipulation tactics, and everyone has seen very clear examples of this. Tiktok's policy clearly states that users must be "eighteen or older" to gift, so again it is a tiktok policy flaw rather than a legal aspect because I'm pretty sure there are no laws or legislations about gifting on tiktok. If anything, it would be a parental issue and also up to the parents of said underage users on where money is going and being sent. So, for every gift given or donation made, do you have concrete evidence or where this has all gone? Again, a solicitor or court won't take rumour and third-party information as seriously compared to having correct documentation.
8) Elphaba has copied and mimicked a fictional character and attempts to sing very unpleasantly (I'm being professional) and yes, it's the most unfortunate thing to ever experience but there are hundreds of thousands of individuals who copy or are inspired by a brand and use it as entertainment purposes. Is it unfair that some people destroy nice things? Of course it is, but wicked as a company have expressed that they are not affiliated with Elphaba in any shape or form. If they were to legally silence Elphaba, then they would need to do this for thousands of real entertainers, and it wouldn't be cost effective. It's a simple reality.
9) Elphaba has lied on numerous occasions over the years of fictitious ailments, diagnoses, and medical issues in what we perceive to be an attempt to manipulate viewers and to also gain attention. No matter how morally wrong this is, it isn't illegal. In no way is that defendable because these are very real illnesses, diagnoses, and medical issues that people battle every day and face enough stigma with as it is. Again, immoral, but not illegal.
10) Yes, Elphaba claimed she was going to send monetary donations and physical donations to organisations and charities and never did so. This would be actually breaking a law as it's theft through deception, similar to claiming donations are for transitioning and not being used on such. But again, it would have to be a victim who donated or gave willingly for this to be investigated and taken seriously. And it's most unfortunate that police services all over the UK are abused, they are overrun with very real crimes where people are causing great physical harm to others, but I'm not going to explain that route for now since you'll get the just of it. In the grand scheme of things, not buying a few toys is hardly the crime of the century. In the future, awareness about these incidents, again with proof, is what's needed to expose the pattern of behaviour or the good old modus operandi.
11) Elphaba has accused multiple people over the years of very serious crimes and it brings such heartache to survivors and victims alike, even people who don't have personal experience find it disgusting and in poor taste given the instances and context. She has accused numerous individuals in the last three years of sexual assault in a variety of circumstances, claiming that she has received hate crime assaults and attacks and all the rest of her victim complex routine. Unless victims who she has accused of these incidents have complained, what do you expect the authorities to do about it? The police would advise to block, avoid, and not watch the live streams or content. Very rarely, if ever, the authorities won't hold men or women who are lying about these incidents accountable for several reasons. Yes, she habitually accuses innocent people of these horrendous, heinous crimes, but the authorities are more limited than they should be.
12) Elphaba has threatened physical violence on numerous occasions over the tiktok platform, threatening to kill, cause harm, and even wave a kitchen knife in threatening behaviour. Again, if this has been reported to the police by the victims, then surely it's a discussion between the victims (if they even pursued it) with the police and the crown office. Yes, disgusting behaviour, and we all say and do things in our daily lives that we aren't proud of, yet I wouldn't expect the police to be called at every opportunity if we said and did something wrong, whether it be in heartache or anger.
13) Elphaba's misogynistic views towards women on the app are very apparent, and it's unpleasant to watch and witness. It is obvious that she only feeds into a toxic tit for tat relationship with other women, ones who wish to hold her accountable. She had made wild accusations and has added the proverbial arms and legs to the stories that she gives out, but some of these people who she targets and responds to are also fellow creators who mostly use her as their content. If you're going to be on a public domain platform and point out someone's wrongs and wrong behaviour, then surely you have to expect some sort of response, whether it be positive or negative. Again, this is in no way defending Elphaba on what she has said or called people, but it isn't as one-sided as it's getting made out to be. People make it personal, then complain when it becomes personal. Again, the authorities have better things to do than deal with squabbling women on an app.
14) Yes, we all know that Chelsea Lee Art and Evil Queen have broken the guidelines on multiple occasions for financial gain, but again, this is tiktok policy and guidelines, not law.
15) Any public platform where there is money to be made will always be abused, is it right? Of course not, but what can we do to change it? Remove gifts. tiktok won't allow that because of what it earns, and then the next step would be to dispute the agencies that "protect" said problematic creators. Shouldn't change start happening from the inside?
As I've said, I've read your report and your case study numerous times, and I've been left feeling depleted and expecting more from all the big promises. Your case study, if anything only shows narcasstic delusions of grandeur and self importance and all you've reinforced is that Elphaba has problematic behaviours, but again people don't need to watch the car crash drama or even get involved. A lot of your points are publicly valid. However, it isn't up to the public to decide what is illegal conduct or which crimes being committed are. I'm more than sure that the general public would appreciate a dangerous individual such as a domestic abuser, a rapist, a murder, a human trafficking organised crime group or pedophiles and many others who create serious victim based crimes, were removed from our society and policing budgets and time wasn't being wasted on problematic tiktok creators and focused on the serious issues.
While I understand that many agree that this behaviour and actions isn't acceptable, but people also have the option to remove themselves from viewing such material and then to also monitor which material their children are viewing.

We are an organization dedicated to feeding stray cats in our country. While we love all animals, our country (in the EU) doesn’t have too many stray dogs but is overfilled with stray cats and that’s why we focus on cats. You can see our work and stories with cats on our page.
A few days ago, sadly, we came across a stray dog hit by a car 😔 One of our volunteers went to feed our stray cats as usually and when she got out of the car, she heard a dog crying and after walking a few meters, she found an injured dog probably hit by a car. She picked her up she had no strength at all. She must be trying for a long time to move from where she was laying. The dog was covered in ticks, about 20 of them were pulled out from her head, neck, and ears. When she was picked up, urine started pouring out of her. We were scared that is was a ruptured bladder because at least a liter leaked out. I was called to help because we couldn’t leave her there. She looked at us with such eyes and whined that we cried 💔 We took her home and brought a blanket, water, food, diapers, a bowl for food and water.
In the morning, we went to the clinic. An X-ray showed that Angel (that’s what we named her) had a fracture of the second lumbar vertebra and needed surgery to help restore her hind legs, and that then she will be able to walk again 🙏🏻 But it's complicated, a neurosurgical operation that needs to be done in a good clinic, with good equipment and with good neurosurgeons.
Angel is currently being cared for, she has been cleaned, her diaper is changed twice a day, she is getting injections and pills and she is being loved. But without surgery, Angel will remain crawling on her front legs 😔 We were quoted €2000 ($2140) for the surgery. That is a lot of money for us. We do not have this money for the surgery as we are struggling with our own costs for our stray cats which are never ending. But she needs the surgery to get better 😔 Please help us save her 🙏🏻 The longer we postpone the operation the harder it will be for her to walk again because the bones will grow in the wrong place. I am attaching her X-rays as well. Please help Angel regain the ability to walk on four legs. We appreciate any support. If you would like to help Angel please donate to the links below:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/catscyprus
https://revolut.me/straycats1
https://venmo.comMaria-189602
https://cash.app/$straycatscy
Please note that over at the rescuecats group we have been verified as legit rescuers and caretakers.
Thank you ❤️🙏🏻

You go into labor, lose your triplets at 16 weeks, go through funeral process and cremate just to find out three weeks later they left one of the triplets in the OR (in a box) and had to go through cremation process again!
Exactly what the title says. What would you do? And before people start saying lawyer, lawyer lawyer trust me I’ve been trying for the last six months this happened in April 2023 atrium health, Charlotte I can’t find one local lawyer that is willing to take this case on and I think it’s because it’s one of the biggest hospital systems around But all is true, April 6, 2023 I went into labor at 15weeks and 3days pregnant. I was super excited to reach the 16 week mark I felt like it was a huge hill I had overcame… Two of the babies were identical boys, and they were in a sack together and then what I’m assuming was a little girl by herself . All three were healthy. The day of my appointment which was April 5. I told the specialist about some fluid that had been leaking out that I did not feel was discharge. He assured me I was fine that I had never had a triplet pregnancy and that these things just happened and I said OK went about my day announce start pregnancy online, just to go into labor about eight hours later. We had been so scared to announce our pregnancy because of the high risk, and because I had had a prior miscarriage. But surely at 16 weeks and with more ultrasound pictures that you could hold or take a picture, I think we had over 42 ultrasounds because it was such an interesting pregnancy. all the babies were healthy had great heart rates, and even a hygroma was outgrown and some special test came back that there were no problems with their DNA for any kind of defects Fast-forward to that evening, I go into labor, and the triplets lose their heartbeats one by one I sat in labor for over 12 hours before they finally took me in for a D and E It’s called a dilation and evacuation Afterwards, I was so numb from the emotional pain and feelings of everything I was going through. I just wanted to get the process over with. There was a very nice funeral home that donated their cremation services. It was a service through the hospital that they offered to us, and I thought it was the sweetest thing they have even gave us our children all three feet prints After that, we went to the funeral home we signed the paperwork and we got what we thought were the remains of our triplets. May 2023 I get a phone call and it is the medical Director and the attending surgeon that did my surgery and they’re calling to tell me that one of my triplets was put into a box and not found for over 26 days in the OR and that for some reason when they did their monthly Check or monthly cleaning or inventory. Whatever it is they were doing they found one of my triplets and there were no emotions. It was just we are sorry and we will get IT back out to the funeral home. At this point, we were instructed to wait for a phone call from the funeral home which we did, and when we went back up there we had to bring the urn along with the remains that we thought were all three of our children just to have it combined, and when we got those ashes, it was much more than what we were originally given the first time. As much as everybody’s gonna say, lawyer, lawyer lawyer, I have tried if you can refer me somewhere if you can give me some ideas because when people are feeling like they’re in a corner, they can’t always think outside of the box. That’s why sometimes it’s easier to have somebody else find something for you that your eyes are not able to see because you’re scanning all over for your keys but somebody can walk up right behind you and find your keys for you. It’s kind of an instance like that I just need other opinions, and other people to give me ideas of what I should do. Do you think that possibly I should go out of town to search for legal representation, should I start sharing my story and Get networking going and maybe I’ll come across somebody then I’m supposed to for a reason for that reason (I do very much believe in stuff like that) you guys please don’t come for me. I’m using voice to text so if anything isn’t punctuated correctly my apologies. I am a very busy person. I just got back to work about four months ago. I had a horrible time recovering after that surgery last April and it took me about six months to just get back to normal to where I didn’t feel extreme and utter anxiety when I would walk out the door. Also, I have been collecting my records. I do have every ultrasound in any screenings or anything that I did lab wise. I have all of those records and I did request my regular records that way whenever I go to make a complaint to the medical board they don’t have a chance to skew anything. That is also a fear of mine and I don’t know if that’s just anxiety or legit fear. Either way I appreciate any and all suggestions just please be kind. This is some thing that I haven’t even shared with family too much let alone the whole Reddit community. And again, thank you for your time. -lost

Hi all,
New to this community and grateful to have come upon it. My 68 year old dad is recovering from a massive, 12+ hour thoracic surgery to help manage his mesothelioma (cancer). He was discharged from the hospital last Thursday after being there for 3+ weeks. My sister and I are his primary caregivers (parents are divorced).
We have a pretty large extended family, all of whom live locally. He's also a friendly guy with a lot of friends, and typically has a very active social life. I am immensely grateful for everyone's support. My sister and I have been maintaining a blog to journal his illness, and have repeatedly posted messages to the effect of "Please no unexpected visitors right now. If you'd like to visit, please call one of us and we'll arrange a time with him" and "He feels absolutely awful right now and is exhausted and in pain, he does not want visitors, please stay away." We've also communicated this directly to folks who ask about seeing him. And people just. aren't. getting. it.
He's had friends swing by the hospital and stay for hours on end (ignoring comments from him like "I'm getting really tired, I should probably nap soon,") extended family members assuming that "please no visitors" messaging for some reason doesn't include them, folks ignoring requests to keep visits short, etc. Before he went into the hospital, he asked us to put a post on his blog asking folks not to bring him any more food, because his freezer was overflowing and he was worried about wasting food...so one of his friends brought over a pie because he felt bad that my sister and I were "banning goodies."
I am so deeply and genuinely grateful for the support folks have provided. And I appreciate that it sucks to feel helpless when someone you love is in a rough patch, so as outlets for folks' goodwill we've asked friends and family to share messages for a big card and songs for a playlist, and encouraged blood donations. But my sister and I are have enough on our plates as it is, and this is getting really frustrating. My dad and I are also people pleasers, and I am a super introvert and suck at setting healthy boundaries, though my sister is pretty direct. We added signs to his exterior doors today that say "no visitors right now, please contact if you have questions," so I'm hoping that will help as well.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Would love any advice..... though honestly even just venting/posting into the void feels somewhat cathartic at this point lol

I’m sorry ahead of time, this one is going to be very long, detailed, and rambly. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this and just need to vent. Those of you that like stupid everyday relationship issues, have fun. TLDR at the bottom for the 99% of you that probably don’t want to read all of this.
It was just a week after my 30th birthday, and our one year anniversary was approaching. I was deeply in love with my girlfriend (28). She’s the most beautiful, ambitious, intelligent, and kind person I’ve ever met. It’s remarkable how aligned our values and aspirations are, and we shared so many hobbies and interests. In all of my previous relationships, I’ve never felt such an effortless connection. She’s the first person I found myself wanting to spend my life with (and I was engaged at one point, a different FU).
I've poured my heart into our relationship, constantly striving to support her in every possible way. Whether it was showering her with compliments, encouraging her pursuits, or surprising her with thoughtful gifts, I've made it my mission to make her happy. Due to her situation, I financially shouldered the burden of our dates. When staying in, I gladly took charge of cooking duties (she despises cooking). From assisting her through post-surgery recovery, to chauffeuring her for 2 months while her car was in the shop, to helping her move apartments on short notice, and giving her money when she accidentally overdrew her account, I tried to show that I was a hard working, loyal, and committed partner. To be clear, these aren’t things she was asking me to do, I was happy to do them. I was looking for any excuse to spend time with her anyway, and I wanted to show that I was part of this team.
This was her first serious relationship and she showed some hesitancy in some aspects. She almost broke up with me at the beginning of the year. She said that I was way more invested in the relationship than she was, and that she was struggling to see a future with me. She came back the next day and apologized, and said that she’s not used to having to account for another person in her plans for her life and she panicked. We agreed to work on things, and I tried to take things slow and asked her to set the pace of the relationship.
Despite my unwavering commitment, we encountered a few stumbling blocks. Particularly in communication, especially in the realm of emotional support. While she values her independence, she occasionally finds herself overwhelmed when things go wrong. I made concerted efforts to be someone she could rely on, employing active listening and empathy. However, she expressed a desire for more from me. The biggest issue was her preference for me to anticipate her needs without her explicitly articulating them. She often expressed frustration when I've inquired about how best to assist her during times of distress, preferring instead that I take initiative without prompting. Despite my best intentions, this task often felt akin to mind-reading, leaving me walking on eggshells to avoid disappointing her or upsetting her further. So often I would reach out to support her, giving her room to vent, actively listening, and validating how she’s feeling, but she would immediately snap at me because she wanted something else or felt that I wasn’t doing enough. Then she’d become more frustrated at me than at the original problem, and either hang up or stop responding to my texts and would go full silent treatment the rest of the day. Things seemed to be fine when we were actually together, but over the phone or via text always seemed to result in me fucking things up somehow. I asked her so many times to please just clarify what she needs from me, but she always refused.
Things had been going well between us, with over a month passing since the last issue. After spending a long weekend together, she left my place for work. She hoped to visit her sister and new nephew and a few friends later in the afternoon depending on the weather, which was forecasted to be nasty. We were exchanging our usual updates throughout the day when she mentioned her broken fan. The fan was basically brand new and pretty expensive. She was upset that she might have to buy a new fan when she couldn’t really afford it at the moment. I suggested checking if it was under warranty, but the call center was closed. I thought it would be sorted out eventually when they reopened.
Then she texts me about a meeting she had with her boss. She works for a nonprofit, and the employees are expected (basically required) to donate to the nonprofit at the end of their fundraising campaign. She’s the one that actually records donations, and she can see that everyone else is donating way more than she can afford. She tried to clarify with her boss what was expected of her, but was told to just give whatever she can. I respond to this by saying how shitty and entitled that was of her boss/organization, and if I was in her spot I’d just give $20 since no other expectations were set. She responded with a curt “That’s all you took from that?” I replied no, her boss is being really unfair to her and the whole situation is frustrating.
At that, she fell silent despite my attempts to engage her through instagram and snapchat. The workday ends, still no reply. I thought that she might have visited her sister or met up with a friend given her preference for disconnecting from phones during social interactions, so I waited. However, as nearly three hours elapse without any communication, I started to get worried. Sending additional messages and snaps yielded no response, she wasn’t even viewing the messages. I contemplated calling her but I hesitated, not wishing to intrude if she's preoccupied.
After almost four hours she finally responds to my text, expressing a desire to cancel our plans for the following day. She was upset with me and needs some space to think about the future of our relationship. She said that I made no effort to emotionally support her when she was having an awful day, and that she expected me to call her but I couldn’t even put the effort in to do that. I extended heartfelt apologies, explaining that since she wasn’t responding to my other messages I thought she was busy, and that I misinterpreted the situation and I didn’t realize she was that upset based off of the messages she sent. I offered to call immediately if she still wanted to talk, but also reiterated my frustration of navigating her unspoken needs. However, she asserted to having communicated her needs repeatedly without apparent comprehension on my part, and that she stopped responding because it was pointless to try to get the message across anymore. I told her that I loved her and asked her to please reach out when she was ready to talk, but I didn’t hear from her for the rest of the evening.
The next morning, she asks if she can come over after work. I immediately responded with a yes. I ask her about how her day is going, but still get curt one word answers. After a grueling day, she finally comes over. We go over our communication issues again. I explained how this all made me feel, almost like I become her emotional punching bag when she gets overwhelmed. I knew that isn’t the case and said as much to her, but I explained how much it hurt when she would give me the silent treatment instead of guiding me to what she needs. I would have been happy to call her had she expressed that she needed to hear from me. I explained how desperate I was to support her, but she wasn’t giving me anything to work with. She said that acting on her needs is less important to her than me showing effort for her, and in general she hadn’t been seeing much of that from me recently.
She cited the date I had originally planned for that night as an example of my lack of effort. I had wanted to go to our favorite food truck and grab dinner, take her to one of my favorite cocktail bars that she’s never been to before, and then go tipsy book shopping. She focused on the food truck, and was upset that we always seem to go there. (To put it in perspective, we tried to go to the truck a few weeks before but they were closed unexpectedly, the last time we actually got food from them was 2 or 3 months previous). She didn’t explain any of this when she originally turned down that idea, and only said that she wasn’t feeling that kind of food. She didn’t comment on the bar or bookstore plans. I had no idea she was feeling this way. I also felt a little slighted by the fact that she turned down the idea to begin with. A few weeks prior, we had a conversation about how I was always deferring to her when it came to date ideas, and how little I got to pick what we did, where we ate, what movies or shows we watched. I was frustrated at this, because I wanted to share all of these things with her that she always turned down (despite them often being shared things that we loved). At the time she apologized, and said that if I wanted to do something with her I just needed to ask and she’d go. However, here was another example of her turning down a date that I planned, something I genuinely wanted to share with her. And on top of that, I was being called lazy for it.
In her case, most of the dates she recently planned involved bed rotting and watching her favorite show. Just the weekend before this I took her to our first date spot/favorite wine bar, a new food truck, and to see her favorite band in concert. Her half of the weekend involved us binging season 2 of Bridgerton.
She suddenly followed up with saying that she doesn’t really feel like she knows me all that well, and can never figure out what I feel or think. This hurt even more. Even if I hadn’t had a falling out with my friend group a few months prior,(I couldn’t go to my friends wedding that was rescheduled last minute to be the Friday before Christmas, when I was going to be out of town) I still considered her my best friend. I shared so much of myself with her, and was always open about what I felt or thought about things. I explained that I didn’t feel like she was putting in the effort to know me if she felt that way.
I contrasted this with how I interact with her. I always showed interest in her thoughts, feelings, experiences, and hobbies. I always asked her follow up questions, and tried to generate genuine discussions so I could learn more about her. I used our shared love of books as an example. I always asked her about what she was reading, how she was enjoying it, and what her books made her think or feel. I even asked to read those books a few times just so I could connect with her more, despite them really not being my kind of books. On the other hand, she never showed interest in what I was reading. For Christmas I even got her a book that I fell in love with that was a blend of the genres we read. I was so excited to share it with her, and thought she’d love it. It’s short, she could have probably read it in under two hours. Considering how much she reads, it wouldn’t have taken that long. I even offered several reading dates where we could hang out at home, drinking tea and reading that book so we could discuss it together. She always picked her newest romance book instead, and said that she didn’t know when she’d get around to reading it.
This played out so many times over so many mediums. She constantly turned down places I wanted to take her to, restaurants and bars I wanted to try, movies, shows, and books that were important to me. I had been trying to get her to watch The Princess Bride with me since Christmas since she’s never seen it. It’s absolutely something that she would have loved if she tried it, but instead we always had to watch whatever comfort sitcom she was binging at the time. I felt like I was offering up all of these little pieces of me to her, but she didn’t care.
She then asked me what I wanted for myself. I made it clear that I was happy with where I am. I have a good job that pays $75,0000 for 35 hours a week (I had previously come from a job where 84 hour work weeks were the norm). I was also taking care of my ill father, who I lost a little over a year and a half ago. I have no career ambitions at the moment, and just wanted to focus on the things that made me happy: my hobbies, travel, and our relationship. I knew that she had very specific goals for her life, and explained that I’m flexible and want to put that energy into building a life with her.
She then said that she didn’t feel like our relationship was moving fast enough, and was concerned that we had no real plans for our future at this point. Keep in mind, this is a complete 180 from what she was saying a few months ago. I also wasn’t happy with where we were at, but I didn’t want to risk going to far too fast and scaring her off again. But I was always bringing up our future; asking her about what cities she might want to move to (she was very unsure if she wanted to stay in our current city, she was used to moving around every few years and had admitted that she was starting to feel stuck). I asked her about apartments, what neighborhoods she might want to look into if we were staying in our city, about rent budgets. I even brought up that I was working from home more so in the event we did leave our city, I could make a case to my boss that I could work from home full time. She rarely engaged with any of these. She would always say that she didn’t want to think about moving again (she had to unexpectedly move a few weeks before this), or at the worst point she said that she was waiting to see how our relationship went before she made the decision to move to another city.
I wish I explained this to her, but at this point everything was becoming too overwhelming and I was struggling to articulate my thoughts and feelings. Instead of saying all the things above about what I wanted for our future, I mumbled something about how I maybe built up our relationship too much in my mind. I was still worried about coming across too strong and scaring her off. I mean, I was very open about all of these things. I had also asked her to set the pace for the relationship after she almost left me before, but she never brought it up. I thought that if she really was ready to talk about this, we would have more solid plans already.
I asked her if we could take a break and come back to this tomorrow, I needed time to calm down and think. She said no, this needed to be addressed tonight. At this point I was completely emotionally drained, and just started crying. She stated that she felt that our communication styles were just too different, and that she had been talking about this for awhile with her friends, family and therapist. I asked her if she would consider couples counseling, but she said no. At that point she went up to my bedroom to gather the things she had at my place, said goodbye to my cats, apologized saying that she never meant to hurt me, and eft. She never really showed much emotion through the whole thing, other than mild annoyance.
About a week and a half later, I was in a bad place. I wasn’t able to sleep, could barely eat, no longer felt enjoyment for any of the things I used to enjoy. (Honestly I’m still in this spot). I had seen the total solar eclipse and felt nothing, just wishing that I was with her doing our original plans of watching her favorite show while avoiding the insane crowds and traffic. So I tried smoking weed for the first time since we started dating (her mom was an addict and she asked me to quit for her, so I never smoked through our relationship). I was just hoping that I would be able to relax, actually have an appetite for once, and be able to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Instead, it threw me into a full blown panic/anxiety attack. The crushing weight of how alone I felt, how my best friend was gone, and with her all of my hopes and dreams for the future broke me. I basically had zero plans in the short, medium, and long term that didn’t center around her. I made the mistake of trying to call her, desperate to do anything to fix things. When she didn’t, I texted her blocks and blocks of words about how sorry I was, how much I loved her and missed her, how I would do anything to fix things. I also tried to say all the things I had wanted to say about what I wanted for our future, but it just kind of came out as unhinged begging/rambling.
She responded quickly, saying that we were no longer together and haven’t been for awhile. I made her so uncomfortable and broke so many boundaries (she never said not to contact her, but I guess it was implied. Again I couldn’t get a read on what she wanted). She told me to get some help, that she never wanted to hear from or see me again and that she was blocking me.
It’s been two weeks since then. I haven’t gotten any better. I’m the kind of person that takes awhile to fall in love with someone and open up to them, but once I do I feel like I’m stuck on them forever. My last serious relationship, one where my ex was abusive, still took me almost 4 years to get over. I just wished I would have called her. For once I was actually able to anticipate what she needed but didn’t act on it.
TLDR: Girlfriend had a bad day, but it didn’t come across as that bad via text. She wanted me to call her without her needing to ask me and gave me the silent treatment when I didn’t. I wanted to call her but didn’t, misinterpreting the silent treatment as her being busy. Year long relationship down the drain a week after my 30th birthday. Then I embarrassed myself by stoned texting her begging for her back, resulting in me getting blocked.

I’m sorry ahead of time, this one is going to be very long, detailed, and rambly. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this and just need to vent. Those of you that like stupid everyday relationship issues, have fun. TLDR at the bottom for the 99% of you that probably don’t want to read all of this.
It was just a week after my 30th birthday, and our one year anniversary was approaching. I was deeply in love with my girlfriend (28). She’s the most beautiful, ambitious, intelligent, and kind person I’ve ever met. It’s remarkable how aligned our values and aspirations are, and we shared so many hobbies and interests. In all of my previous relationships, I’ve never felt such an effortless connection. She’s the first person I found myself wanting to spend my life with (and I was engaged at one point, a different FU).
I've poured my heart into our relationship, constantly striving to support her in every possible way. Whether it was showering her with compliments, encouraging her pursuits, or surprising her with thoughtful gifts, I've made it my mission to make her happy. Due to her situation, I financially shouldered the burden of our dates. When staying in, I gladly took charge of cooking duties (she despises cooking). From assisting her through post-surgery recovery, to chauffeuring her for 2 months while her car was in the shop, to helping her move apartments on short notice, and giving her money when she accidentally overdrew her account, I tried to show that I was a hard working, loyal, and committed partner. To be clear, these aren’t things she was asking me to do, I was happy to do them. I was looking for any excuse to spend time with her anyway, and I wanted to show that I was part of this team.
This was her first serious relationship and she showed some hesitancy in some aspects. She almost broke up with me at the beginning of the year. She said that I was way more invested in the relationship than she was, and that she was struggling to see a future with me. She came back the next day and apologized, and said that she’s not used to having to account for another person in her plans for her life and she panicked. We agreed to work on things, and I tried to take things slow and asked her to set the pace of the relationship.
Despite my unwavering commitment, we encountered a few stumbling blocks. Particularly in communication, especially in the realm of emotional support. While she values her independence, she occasionally finds herself overwhelmed when things go wrong. I made concerted efforts to be someone she could rely on, employing active listening and empathy. However, she expressed a desire for more from me. The biggest issue was her preference for me to anticipate her needs without her explicitly articulating them. She often expressed frustration when I've inquired about how best to assist her during times of distress, preferring instead that I take initiative without prompting. Despite my best intentions, this task often felt akin to mind-reading, leaving me walking on eggshells to avoid disappointing her or upsetting her further. So often I would reach out to support her, giving her room to vent, actively listening, and validating how she’s feeling, but she would immediately snap at me because she wanted something else or felt that I wasn’t doing enough. Then she’d become more frustrated at me than at the original problem, and either hang up or stop responding to my texts and would go full silent treatment the rest of the day. Things seemed to be fine when we were actually together, but over the phone or via text always seemed to result in me fucking things up somehow. I asked her so many times to please just clarify what she needs from me, but she always refused. Things had been going well between us, with over a month passing since the last issue. After spending a long weekend together, she left my place for work. She hoped to visit her sister and new nephew and a few friends later in the afternoon depending on the weather, which was forecasted to be nasty. We were exchanging our usual updates throughout the day when she mentioned her broken fan. The fan was basically brand new and pretty expensive. She was upset that she might have to buy a new fan when she couldn’t really afford it at the moment. I suggested checking if it was under warranty, but the call center was closed. I thought it would be sorted out eventually when they reopened.
Then she texts me about a meeting she had with her boss. She works for a nonprofit, and the employees are expected (basically required) to donate to the nonprofit at the end of their fundraising campaign. She’s the one that actually records donations, and she can see that everyone else is donating way more than she can afford. She tried to clarify with her boss what was expected of her, but was told to just give whatever she can. I respond to this by saying how shitty and entitled that was of her boss/organization, and if I was in her spot I’d just give $20 since no other expectations were set. She responded with a curt “That’s all you took from that?” I replied no, her boss is being really unfair to her and the whole situation is frustrating.
At that, she fell silent despite my attempts to engage her through instagram and snapchat. The workday ends, still no reply. I thought that she might have visited her sister or met up with a friend given her preference for disconnecting from phones during social interactions, so I waited. However, as nearly three hours elapse without any communication, I started to get worried. Sending additional messages and snaps yielded no response, she wasn’t even viewing the messages. I contemplated calling her but I hesitated, not wishing to intrude if she's preoccupied.
After almost four hours she finally responds to my text, expressing a desire to cancel our plans for the following day. She was upset with me and needs some space to think about the future of our relationship. She said that I made no effort to emotionally support her when she was having an awful day, and that she expected me to call her but I couldn’t even put the effort in to do that. I extended heartfelt apologies, explaining that since she wasn’t responding to my other messages I thought she was busy, and that I misinterpreted the situation and I didn’t realize she was that upset based off of the messages she sent. I offered to call immediately if she still wanted to talk, but also reiterated my frustration of navigating her unspoken needs. However, she asserted to having communicated her needs repeatedly without apparent comprehension on my part, and that she stopped responding because it was pointless to try to get the message across anymore. I told her that I loved her and asked her to please reach out when she was ready to talk, but I didn’t hear from her for the rest of the evening.
The next morning, she asks if she can come over after work. I immediately responded with a yes. I ask her about how her day is going, but still get curt one word answers. After a grueling day, she finally comes over. We go over our communication issues again. I explained how this all made me feel, almost like I become her emotional punching bag when she gets overwhelmed. I knew that isn’t the case and said as much to her, but I explained how much it hurt when she would give me the silent treatment instead of guiding me to what she needs. I would have been happy to call her had she expressed that she needed to hear from me. I explained how desperate I was to support her, but she wasn’t giving me anything to work with. She said that acting on her needs is less important to her than me showing effort for her, and in general she hadn’t been seeing much of that from me recently.
She cited the date I had originally planned for that night as an example of my lack of effort. I had wanted to go to our favorite food truck and grab dinner, take her to one of my favorite cocktail bars that she’s never been to before, and then go tipsy book shopping. She focused on the food truck, and was upset that we always seem to go there. (To put it in perspective, we tried to go to the truck a few weeks before but they were closed unexpectedly, the last time we actually got food from them was 2 or 3 months previous). She didn’t explain any of this when she originally turned down that idea, and only said that she wasn’t feeling that kind of food. She didn’t comment on the bar or bookstore plans. I had no idea she was feeling this way. I also felt a little slighted by the fact that she turned down the idea to begin with. A few weeks prior, we had a conversation about how I was always deferring to her when it came to date ideas, and how little I got to pick what we did, where we ate, what movies or shows we watched. I was frustrated at this, because I wanted to share all of these things with her that she always turned down (despite them often being shared things that we loved). At the time she apologized, and said that if I wanted to do something with her I just needed to ask and she’d go. However, here was another example of her turning down a date that I planned, something I genuinely wanted to share with her. And on top of that, I was being called lazy for it.
In her case, most of the dates she recently planned involved bed rotting and watching her favorite show. Just the weekend before this I took her to our first date spot/favorite wine bar, a new food truck, and to see her favorite band in concert. Her half of the weekend involved us binging season 2 of Bridgerton.
She suddenly followed up with saying that she doesn’t really feel like she knows me all that well, and can never figure out what I feel or think. This hurt even more. Even if I hadn’t had a falling out with my friend group a few months prior,(I couldn’t go to my friends wedding that was rescheduled last minute to be the Friday before Christmas, when I was going to be out of town) I still considered her my best friend. I shared so much of myself with her, and was always open about what I felt or thought about things. I explained that I didn’t feel like she was putting in the effort to know me if she felt that way.
I contrasted this with how I interact with her. I always showed interest in her thoughts, feelings, experiences, and hobbies. I always asked her follow up questions, and tried to generate genuine discussions so I could learn more about her. I used our shared love of books as an example. I always asked her about what she was reading, how she was enjoying it, and what her books made her think or feel. I even asked to read those books a few times just so I could connect with her more, despite them really not being my kind of books. On the other hand, she never showed interest in what I was reading. For Christmas I even got her a book that I fell in love with that was a blend of the genres we read. I was so excited to share it with her, and thought she’d love it. It’s short, she could have probably read it in under two hours. Considering how much she reads, it wouldn’t have taken that long. I even offered several reading dates where we could hang out at home, drinking tea and reading that book so we could discuss it together. She always picked her newest romance book instead, and said that she didn’t know when she’d get around to reading it.
This played out so many times over so many mediums. She constantly turned down places I wanted to take her to, restaurants and bars I wanted to try, movies, shows, and books that were important to me. I had been trying to get her to watch The Princess Bride with me since Christmas since she’s never seen it. It’s absolutely something that she would have loved if she tried it, but instead we always had to watch whatever comfort sitcom she was binging at the time. I felt like I was offering up all of these little pieces of me to her, but she didn’t care.
She then asked me what I wanted for myself. I made it clear that I was happy with where I am. I have a good job that pays $75,0000 for 35 hours a week (I had previously come from a job where 84 hour work weeks were the norm). I was also taking care of my ill father, who I lost a little over a year and a half ago. I have no career ambitions at the moment, and just wanted to focus on the things that made me happy: my hobbies, travel, and our relationship. I knew that she had very specific goals for her life, and explained that I’m flexible and want to put that energy into building a life with her.
She then said that she didn’t feel like our relationship was moving fast enough, and was concerned that we had no real plans for our future at this point. Keep in mind, this is a complete 180 from what she was saying a few months ago. I also wasn’t happy with where we were at, but I didn’t want to risk going to far too fast and scaring her off again. But I was always bringing up our future; asking her about what cities she might want to move to (she was very unsure if she wanted to stay in our current city, she was used to moving around every few years and had admitted that she was starting to feel stuck). I asked her about apartments, what neighborhoods she might want to look into if we were staying in our city, about rent budgets. I even brought up that I was working from home more so in the event we did leave our city, I could make a case to my boss that I could work from home full time. She rarely engaged with any of these. She would always say that she didn’t want to think about moving again (she had to unexpectedly move a few weeks before this), or at the worst point she said that she was waiting to see how our relationship went before she made the decision to move to another city.
I wish I explained this to her, but at this point everything was becoming too overwhelming and I was struggling to articulate my thoughts and feelings. Instead of saying all the things above about what I wanted for our future, I mumbled something about how I maybe built up our relationship too much in my mind. I was still worried about coming across too strong and scaring her off. I mean, I was very open about all of these things. I had also asked her to set the pace for the relationship after she almost left me before, but she never brought it up. I thought that if she really was ready to talk about this, we would have more solid plans already.
I asked her if we could take a break and come back to this tomorrow, I needed time to calm down and think. She said no, this needed to be addressed tonight. At this point I was completely emotionally drained, and just started crying. She stated that she felt that our communication styles were just too different, and that she had been talking about this for awhile with her friends, family and therapist. I asked her if she would consider couples counseling, but she said no. At that point she went up to my bedroom to gather the things she had at my place, said goodbye to my cats, apologized saying that she never meant to hurt me, and eft. She never really showed much emotion through the whole thing, other than mild annoyance.
About a week and a half later, I was in a bad place. I wasn’t able to sleep, could barely eat, no longer felt enjoyment for any of the things I used to enjoy. (Honestly I’m still in this spot). I had seen the total solar eclipse and felt nothing, just wishing that I was with her doing our original plans of watching her favorite show while avoiding the insane crowds and traffic. So I tried smoking weed for the first time since we started dating (her mom was an addict and she asked me to quit for her, so I never smoked through our relationship). I was just hoping that I would be able to relax, actually have an appetite for once, and be able to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Instead, it threw me into a full blown panic/anxiety attack. The crushing weight of how alone I felt, how my best friend was gone, and with her all of my hopes and dreams for the future broke me. I basically had zero plans in the short, medium, and long term that didn’t center around her. I made the mistake of trying to call her, desperate to do anything to fix things. When she didn’t, I texted her blocks and blocks of words about how sorry I was, how much I loved her and missed her, how I would do anything to fix things. I also tried to say all the things I had wanted to say about what I wanted for our future, but it just kind of came out as unhinged begging/rambling.
She responded quickly, saying that we were no longer together and haven’t been for awhile. I made her so uncomfortable and broke so many boundaries (she never said not to contact her, but I guess it was implied. Again I couldn’t get a read on what she wanted). She told me to get some help, that she never wanted to hear from or see me again and that she was blocking me.
It’s been two weeks since then. I haven’t gotten any better. I’m the kind of person that takes awhile to fall in love with someone and open up to them, but once I do I feel like I’m stuck on them forever. My last serious relationship, one where my ex was abusive, still took me almost 4 years to get over. I just wished I would have called her. For once I was actually able to anticipate what she needed but didn’t act on it.
TLDR: Girlfriend had a bad day, but it didn’t come across as that bad via text. She wanted me to call her without her needing to ask me and gave me the silent treatment when I didn't. I wanted to call her but didn’t, misinterpreting the silent treatment as her being busy. Year long relationship down the drain a week after my 30th birthday. Then I embarrassed myself by stoned texting her begging for her back, resulting in me getting blocked.

I’m sorry ahead of time, this one is going to be very long, detailed, and rambly. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this and just need to vent. Those of you that like stupid everyday relationship issues, have fun. TLDR at the bottom for the 99% of you that probably don’t want to read all of this.
It was just a week after my 30th birthday, and our one year anniversary was approaching. I was deeply in love with my girlfriend (28). She’s the most beautiful, ambitious, intelligent, and kind person I’ve ever met. It’s remarkable how aligned our values and aspirations are, and we shared so many hobbies and interests. In all of my previous relationships, I’ve never felt such an effortless connection. She’s the first person I found myself wanting to spend my life with (and I was engaged at one point, a different FU).
I've poured my heart into our relationship, constantly striving to support her in every possible way. Whether it was showering her with compliments, encouraging her pursuits, or surprising her with thoughtful gifts, I've made it my mission to make her happy. Due to her situation, I financially shouldered the burden of our dates. When staying in, I gladly took charge of cooking duties (she despises cooking). From assisting her through post-surgery recovery, to chauffeuring her for 2 months while her car was in the shop, to helping her move apartments on short notice, and giving her money when she accidentally overdrew her account, I tried to show that I was a hard working, loyal, and committed partner. To be clear, these aren’t things she was asking me to do, I was happy to do them. I was looking for any excuse to spend time with her anyway, and I wanted to show that I was part of this team.
This was her first serious relationship and she showed some hesitancy in some aspects. She almost broke up with me at the beginning of the year. She said that I was way more invested in the relationship than she was, and that she was struggling to see a future with me. She came back the next day and apologized, and said that she’s not used to having to account for another person in her plans for her life and she panicked. We agreed to work on things, and I tried to take things slow and asked her to set the pace of the relationship.
Despite my unwavering commitment, we encountered a few stumbling blocks. Particularly in communication, especially in the realm of emotional support. While she values her independence, she occasionally finds herself overwhelmed when things go wrong. I made concerted efforts to be someone she could rely on, employing active listening and empathy. However, she expressed a desire for more from me. The biggest issue was her preference for me to anticipate her needs without her explicitly articulating them. She often expressed frustration when I've inquired about how best to assist her during times of distress, preferring instead that I take initiative without prompting. Despite my best intentions, this task often felt akin to mind-reading, leaving me walking on eggshells to avoid disappointing her or upsetting her further. So often I would reach out to support her, giving her room to vent, actively listening, and validating how she’s feeling, but she would immediately snap at me because she wanted something else or felt that I wasn’t doing enough. Then she’d become more frustrated at me than at the original problem, and either hang up or stop responding to my texts and would go full silent treatment the rest of the day. Things seemed to be fine when we were actually together, but over the phone or via text always seemed to result in me fucking things up somehow. I asked her so many times to please just clarify what she needs from me, but she always refused.
Things had been going well between us, with over a month passing since the last issue. After spending a long weekend together, she left my place for work. She hoped to visit her sister and new nephew and a few friends later in the afternoon depending on the weather, which was forecasted to be nasty. We were exchanging our usual updates throughout the day when she mentioned her broken fan. The fan was basically brand new and pretty expensive. She was upset that she might have to buy a new fan when she couldn’t really afford it at the moment. I suggested checking if it was under warranty, but the call center was closed. I thought it would be sorted out eventually when they reopened.
Then she texts me about a meeting she had with her boss. She works for a nonprofit, and the employees are expected (basically required) to donate to the nonprofit at the end of their fundraising campaign. She’s the one that actually records donations, and she can see that everyone else is donating way more than she can afford. She tried to clarify with her boss what was expected of her, but was told to just give whatever she can. I respond to this by saying how shitty and entitled that was of her boss/organization, and if I was in her spot I’d just give $20 since no other expectations were set. She responded with a curt “That’s all you took from that?” I replied no, her boss is being really unfair to her and the whole situation is frustrating.
At that, she fell silent despite my attempts to engage her through instagram and snapchat. The workday ends, still no reply. I thought that she might have visited her sister or met up with a friend given her preference for disconnecting from phones during social interactions, so I waited. However, as nearly three hours elapse without any communication, I started to get worried. Sending additional messages and snaps yielded no response, she wasn’t even viewing the messages. I contemplated calling her but I hesitated, not wishing to intrude if she's preoccupied.
After almost four hours she finally responds to my text, expressing a desire to cancel our plans for the following day. She was upset with me and needs some space to think about the future of our relationship. She said that I made no effort to emotionally support her when she was having an awful day, and that she expected me to call her but I couldn’t even put the effort in to do that. I extended heartfelt apologies, explaining that since she wasn’t responding to my other messages I thought she was busy, and that I misinterpreted the situation and I didn’t realize she was that upset based off of the messages she sent. I offered to call immediately if she still wanted to talk, but also reiterated my frustration of navigating her unspoken needs. However, she asserted to having communicated her needs repeatedly without apparent comprehension on my part, and that she stopped responding because it was pointless to try to get the message across anymore. I told her that I loved her and asked her to please reach out when she was ready to talk, but I didn’t hear from her for the rest of the evening.
The next morning, she asks if she can come over after work. I immediately responded with a yes. I ask her about how her day is going, but still get curt one word answers. After a grueling day, she finally comes over. We go over our communication issues again. I explained how this all made me feel, almost like I become her emotional punching bag when she gets overwhelmed. I knew that isn’t the case and said as much to her, but I explained how much it hurt when she would give me the silent treatment instead of guiding me to what she needs. I would have been happy to call her had she expressed that she needed to hear from me. I explained how desperate I was to support her, but she wasn’t giving me anything to work with. She said that acting on her needs is less important to her than me showing effort for her, and in general she hadn’t been seeing much of that from me recently.
She cited the date I had originally planned for that night as an example of my lack of effort. I had wanted to go to our favorite food truck and grab dinner, take her to one of my favorite cocktail bars that she’s never been to before, and then go tipsy book shopping. She focused on the food truck, and was upset that we always seem to go there. (To put it in perspective, we tried to go to the truck a few weeks before but they were closed unexpectedly, the last time we actually got food from them was 2 or 3 months previous). She didn’t explain any of this when she originally turned down that idea, and only said that she wasn’t feeling that kind of food. She didn’t comment on the bar or bookstore plans. I had no idea she was feeling this way. I also felt a little slighted by the fact that she turned down the idea to begin with. A few weeks prior, we had a conversation about how I was always deferring to her when it came to date ideas, and how little I got to pick what we did, where we ate, what movies or shows we watched. I was frustrated at this, because I wanted to share all of these things with her that she always turned down (despite them often being shared things that we loved). At the time she apologized, and said that if I wanted to do something with her I just needed to ask and she’d go. However, here was another example of her turning down a date that I planned, something I genuinely wanted to share with her. And on top of that, I was being called lazy for it.
In her case, most of the dates she recently planned involved bed rotting and watching her favorite show. Just the weekend before this I took her to our first date spot/favorite wine bar, a new food truck, and to see her favorite band in concert.
She suddenly followed up with saying that she doesn’t really feel like she knows me all that well, and can never figure out what I feel or think. This hurt even more. Even if I hadn’t had a falling out with my friend group a few months prior,(I couldn’t go to my friends wedding that was rescheduled last minute to be the Friday before Christmas, when I was going to be out of town) I still considered her my best friend. I shared so much of myself with her, and was always open about what I felt or thought about things. I explained that I didn’t feel like she was putting in the effort to know me if she felt that way.
I contrasted this with how I interact with her. I always showed interest in her thoughts, feelings, experiences, and hobbies. I always asked her follow up questions, and tried to generate genuine discussions so I could learn more about her. I used our shared love of books as an example. I always asked her about what she was reading, how she was enjoying it, and what her books made her think or feel. I even asked to read those books a few times just so I could connect with her more, despite them really not being my kind of books. On the other hand, she never showed interest in what I was reading. For Christmas I even got her a book that I fell in love with that was a blend of the genres we read. I was so excited to share it with her, and thought she’d love it. It’s short, she could have probably read it in under two hours. Considering how much she reads, it wouldn’t have taken that long. I even offered several reading dates where we could hang out at home, drinking tea and reading that book so we could discuss it together. She always picked her newest romance book instead, and said that she didn’t know when she’d get around to reading it.
This played out so many times over so many mediums. She constantly turned down places I wanted to take her to, restaurants and bars I wanted to try, movies, shows, and books that were important to me. I had been trying to get her to watch The Princess Bride with me since Christmas since she’s never seen it. It’s absolutely something that she would have loved if she tried it, but instead we always had to watch whatever comfort sitcom she was binging at the time. I felt like I was offering up all of these little pieces of me to her, but she didn’t care.
She then asked me what I wanted for myself. I made it clear that I was happy with where I am. I have a good job that pays $75,000 a year at 35 hours a week (I had previously come from a job where 84 hour work weeks were the norm). I was also taking care of my ill father, who I lost a little over a year and a half ago. I have no career ambitions at the moment, and just wanted to focus on the things that made me happy: my hobbies, travel, and our relationship. I knew that she had very specific goals for her life, and explained that I’m flexible and want to put that energy into building a life with her.
She then said that she didn’t feel like our relationship was moving fast enough, and was concerned that we had no real plans for our future at this point. Keep in mind, this is a complete 180 from what she was saying a few months ago. I also wasn’t happy with where we were at, but I didn’t want to risk going to far too fast and scaring her off again. But I was always bringing up our future; asking her about what cities she might want to move to (she was very unsure if she wanted to stay in our current city, she was used to moving around every few years and had admitted that she was starting to feel stuck). I asked her about apartments, what neighborhoods she might want to look into if we were staying in our city, about rent budgets. I even brought up that I was working from home more so in the event we did leave our city, I could make a case to my boss that I could work from home full time. She rarely engaged with any of these. She would always say that she didn’t want to think about moving again (she had to unexpectedly move a few weeks before this), or at the worst point she said that she was waiting to see how our relationship went before she made the decision to move to another city.
I wish I explained this to her, but at this point everything was becoming too overwhelming and I was struggling to articulate my thoughts and feelings. Instead of saying all the things above about what I wanted for our future, I mumbled something about how I maybe built up our relationship too much in my mind. I was still worried about coming across too strong and scaring her off. I mean, I was very open about all of these things. I had also asked her to set the pace for the relationship after she almost left me before, but she never brought it up. I thought that if she really was ready to talk about this, we would have more solid plans already.
I asked her if we could take a break and come back to this tomorrow, I needed time to calm down and think. She said no, this needed to be addressed tonight. At this point I was completely emotionally drained, and just started crying. She stated that she felt that our communication styles were just too different, and that she had been talking about this for awhile with her friends, family and therapist. I asked her if she would consider couples counseling, but she said no. At that point she went up to my bedroom to gather the things she had at my place, said goodbye to my cats, apologized saying that she never meant to hurt me, and eft. She never really showed much emotion through the whole thing, other than mild frustration.
About a week and a half later, I was in a bad place. I wasn’t able to sleep, could barely eat, no longer felt enjoyment for any of the things I used to enjoy. (Honestly I’m still in this spot). I had seen the total solar eclipse and felt nothing, just wishing that I was with her doing our original plans of watching her favorite show while avoiding the insane crowds and traffic. So I tried smoking weed for the first time since we started dating (her mom was an addict and she asked me to quit for her, so I never smoked through our relationship). I was just hoping that I would be able to relax, actually have an appetite for once, and be able to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Instead, it threw me into a full blown panic/anxiety attack. The crushing weight of how alone I felt, how my best friend was gone, and with her all of my hopes and dreams for the future broke me. I basically had zero plans in the short, medium, and long term that didn’t center around her. I made the mistake of trying to call her, desperate to do anything to fix things. When she didn’t, I texted her blocks and blocks of words about how sorry I was, how much I loved her and missed her, how I would do anything to fix things. I also tried to say all the things I had wanted to say about what I wanted for our future, but it just kind of came out as unhinged begging/rambling.
She responded quickly, saying that we were no longer together and haven’t been for awhile. I made her so uncomfortable and broke so many boundaries (she never said not to contact her, but I guess it was implied. Again I couldn’t get a read on what she wanted). She told me to get some help, that she never wanted to hear from or see me again and that she was blocking me.
It’s been two weeks since then. I haven’t gotten any better. I’m the kind of person that takes awhile to fall in love with someone and open up to them, but once I do I feel like I’m stuck on them forever. My last serious relationship, one where my ex was abusive, still took me almost 4 years to get over. I just wished I would have called her. For once I was actually able to anticipate what she needed but didn’t act on it.
TL;DR: Girlfriend had a bad day, but it didn’t come across as that bad via text. She wanted me to call her without her needing to ask me and gave me the silent treatment when I didn't. I wanted to call her but didn’t, misinterpreting the silent treatment as her being busy. Year long relationship down the drain a week after my 30th birthday. Then I embarrassed myself by stoned texting her begging for her back, resulting in me getting blocked.

TLDR: My planned section itself was just fine and so were the next few days, but over the weekend (Sunday 4/21, to be specific), I had to return to the hospital for three more nights due to a really scary blood pressure spike. Your girl has officially joined the pre-eclampsia club, but, thank goodness, Junior (my newborn son) wasn't affected and remains safe and healthy.
Tuesday 4/16 – Delivery Day

• 7:15 am – We all wake up at a leisurely pace since I don’t have to report to the hospital until 11:45 am (Section is scheduled for 1:45, with the understanding that it could be later depending on work load at the hospital). Husband takes a shower; I get our daughter (Little Miss, aka LM) dressed for daycare. We’re out the door by 7:45 and when we get to daycare, we remind them that my mother-in-law (MIL) will be on pick-up and drop off this week. I receive many good wishes and a few hugs.
• 8:15 am – At MIL’s house to drop off LM’s suitcase and confirm daycare stuff. I fully admit to being snappish. As you might guess, I had been told to not eat anything after midnight the night before, and some of my usual meds are nauseating on an empty stomach. Thankfully the nausea passes, and we go home for a bit.
• 9:15 am – back home, I realize that I don’t have the energy to watch another “Fallout” episode, so I curl up for a nap. Husband finishes his packing, stays with me for a while and at 10:30, he sneaks downstairs to eat a Pop Tart. No point in him being hungry, but he also doesn’t want to offend me!
• 10:50 am – I wake up and double check my suitcase.
• 11:05 am – on the road! Husband admits that NOW he’s feeling nervous.
• 11:30 am to 11:45 am – check in at Labor and Delivery. I get gowned up and give a urine sample; during sample, I suspect I lose my mucus plug. The nurses aren’t worried, but this confirms to me that the section being scheduled ahead of my original due date was a good idea.
• 12:00 pm – the nurses I’ve been assigned are lovely, but they’re having a difficult time finding my veins for my IV. Before I turn into a *total* pincushion, the two of them call in a third nurse, whom they lovingly nickname “The Vampire”, and she gets me all set with no more issues so that I can get my saline/fluids started.
• 12:20 pm to 12:40 pm – the nurses bring me my compression socks, and the assisting OB surgeon (AOB) checks in to give me a procedural overview. I finish my first IV and get unhooked for a chance to use the bathroom.
• 12:50 pm to 1:05 pm – My second IV gets placed, especially since it’s looking like I’m going to have a delay in getting to surgery. In the meantime, the surgery site gets shaved, and it is NO spa treatment, let me tell ya.
• And then – we wait. Thankfully there’s a TV. Surgeon is still in theatedelivery with another patient. The nurses check with me if it’s ok that a nursing student sit in on my section once it gets underway. No problem, she needs the experience!
• 2:20 pm – the lead anesthesiologist (LA) is finally able to stop by and explains his part.
• 2:45 pm – Surgeon finishes up and comes to introduce herself, and she also introduces the anesthesiology resident (AR). If you’re keeping track, yes, that’s four doctors, PLUS the nurses, who are going to be in on my procedure. I have no idea if this is typical; when I had my emergency C section with LM in 2021, I wasn’t exactly keeping a head count. I know what’s due to happen, but as the AR explains it again, I get hit with this wave of “OH GOD OH FUCK SOMETHING IS GOING IN MY SPINE I CAN’T DO THIS” – AR sees my concern, and I basically have to tell him to just shut it so that I don’t have a panic attack. He thankfully doesn’t take this personally.
• 3:10 pm – Walking down the hallway to the OR with nurse assistance; Husband is directed to the recovery room.
• 3:50 pm – successful spinal block placement with LA’s help and finally able to lie down on the OR table, feeling pressure only. Husband is let back into the OR to sit by my side. I’m reminded of a comment Surgeon made earlier – that once we’re on the move, she and the others are essentially my pit crew. I hear her giving voice notes for a video recording; no clue if this happened last time. AR stands by my other shoulder to watch my vitals.
• 4:15 pm – Time of birth! AR gives me a countdown of sorts as Surgeon hits the last layer, and Junior makes his appearance!
• 4:30 pm – Junior is brought to Husband after clean-up next door. He and a nurse lay Junior on my chest for some brief skin-to-skin and Husband gets a photo.
• 5:10 pm – After I’m sewn up, I’m wheeled back to recovery, Husband is happily sending texts to family; we’re up in our room by 6:15 pm.

To paraphrase Randy Feltface – that’s where the story *should* end, especially because my only real concern over the next few days is getting breastfeeding right and figuring out sleep schedules. Unfortunately, it didn't end up being that simple.
Sunday 4/21 - Suspicions confirmed.
I'd been on baby aspirin during my pregnancy due to my pressure jumping at the end of term when Little Miss was born, but I'd been told to come off it after delivery as long as I continued my pressure monitoring. I had had a few high readings once I'd gotten home, but I was trying not to worry about it, even as I was continually calling the maternal advice line to keep them apprised of what was happening, *and* I was dealing with a slight headache. The general consensus from the nurses was to keep an eye on things and they would let me know if the OB wanted me to come back to the hospital. Unfortunately, on Sunday evening, the problem crossed from annoying to dangerous.
I had been sitting for a solid hour with Little Miss watching "Bluey" when I decided to take my evening blood pressure; I figured I would take my measurement while I was relaxed and hadn't eaten dinner yet. My morning reading had been 137/90 - so imagine my shock and terror when my evening read was 159/101, especially after rest.
When I get scared, I cry, and Husband could hear me sobbing. He reminded me to call the nurses right back, which I did, and I was told to get back to the hospital ASAP. After some figuring, we coordinated so that my folks would come over, my dad would get me to the ward, and my mom would stay with Husband to look after the kids for the night. Thankfully, we already had formula.
After check-in, the nurse had me sit quietly for about 15 minutes, not even looking at my phone - she in fact said to not touch it to talk to family and to have my dad do updates so that I wouldn't upset myself further. Even with the rest period - I had spiked into the 170s. I got a push of some kind of fast-acting medication, but even with that, I only got down into the 160s on the first dose.
The OB on call confirmed it - I would have to go onto 24 hour magnesium protocol effective immediately, which meant I was staying in through Tuesday afternoon at the earliest. The tears basically hadn't stopped at this point, and they were flowing even more then. I even asked if there was something I'd done wrong - too much rich food after delivery, or something about my weight, or not staying on my aspirin.
She told me that unfortunately, it's just one of those things - pregnancy exposes cracks in people's health, things that may not have manifested for years if the patient hadn't had a baby. It's not that my weight isn't a possible factor, I'm 5'3" and currently about 250 - it's that the cross section of "magnesium moms" includes every kind of build and activity level. The big thing was that with how quickly I had spiked, she needed me on the protocol to prevent a possible seizure or stroke.
I got set up in my room and my dad excused himself to go home. He'd said he would stay if I needed him to, but especially since I was getting a catheter in, I basically told him to be on his way for the sake of my dignity. Further coordination had happened in the meantime, so Husband and Junior were able to come and stay over with me starting on Monday morning the 22nd. The magnesium was effective, but I did end up staying through Wednesday morning the 24th while my blood pressure medication got tweaked. I did cry again on Tuesday afternoon when I wasn't able to leave just yet, but the OB said, and I understood, that she didn't want me having to come back to the hospital *AGAIN*.
Been trying to find my normal in the intervening days - I'm on 30 mg of the blood pressure meds, once a day, and my numbers have been decent, but mentally prepping to take my first few readings led to more tears and panic. I feel better now having some more data under my belt - but there's definitely part of me that has to face the realization - I was in serious trouble.

Basically title,
I ended up choking on my second MCAT when my averages were at least 5 points higher. I'm very reluctant to take it again because it would be my third take and i got the same score twice. I am two years out of undergrad now (class of '22) and just want to move on. But idk if thats even feasible... If yall can help then that'd be appreciated!
Stats
Background: So im a male CA resident, now 2 years out of undergrad, and am ORM. If it matters, I graduated from a top school in CA. (idk have seen some posts here say that some med schools consider your undergrad school) I was a Biochemistry Major, with a sGPA: 3.83 and a cGPA: 3.88, graduated with Cum Laude honors and Departmental Honors. (i hope i calculated my sGPA right lol)
Research (**950 hours): Did minimal research in undergrad, due to COVID, but went balls to the walls and essentially did full-time research in my first gap year ~approximately 800 hours~ If it also matters, it was translational research, dealing with diabetes. ('22-'23) (but might go back after MCAT to help out again) Also helped with research on quality-of-life assessments for post-operative patient care, specifically in abdominal surgeries ~150 hours?~ (need to recheck this one) ('22) Publications (x1 published ; x1 under review): Got the review article published! (Journal of Surgical Research, if that matters). Also have a paper submitted with my diabetes research, and is currently under review. Was submitted to Cell, if that matters too. I think its going to get accepted?? Clinical Experience (500 hours): Was a MA at a facial plastic surgery clinic for about 3 months ~200 hours~ If anyone is wondering why only three months, I got into a serious accident that required surgery and left me unable to walk unassisted for nearly 6 months. So I had to leave the job. ('21) But after, I got a part-time scribing position with an Internal Medicine doc that emphasized treating diabetes in Latino patient populations, which tied in nicely with my research interest ~300 hours~ ('22-current, but taking a break for MCAT) Volunteering (560 hours) : Did volunteer mentoring/tutoring/academic advising for about 3 years with an on-campus org ~200 hours~ ('19-'22) Fundraising events for a children's hospital every year through an on-campus org. Went in to spend time with the kiddos as well ~120 hours~ ('18-'22) Donated and distributed food/supplements/school supplies/etc for students that mightve been food-insecure or in financial need. Did this event around exam times because thats when times would get real tough. ~120 hours~ ('18-'22) Frat Thanksgiving Turkey Drive where we'd basically get a bunch of donated food/and we'd make food to hand out to the homeless on Thanksgiving. ~50 hours~ ('19-'22) Medical relief trip to Uganda. Went to educate rural communities/villages about malaria risk and prevention. Got to learn about their culture, way of life, and help their community leaders + local nurses in distributing supplies ~100 hours~ ('19) Leadership (**220 hours): Was Board Secretary and Treasurer for the mentoring org i mentioned. Basically handled dissemination of info, scheduling, fund management, and liasion to any guest speakers we'd have. ~100 hours~ ('21-'22) Helped start a volunteer program around diabetes education and pre-med advising with the IM doctor I scribed for. Helped make educational/research slideshows, determine topics, and helped develop skills (ie: professionalism, and intro to scribing) ~120 hours~ ('21-'23) Paid Employment (800 hours): Taught/TA'ed Biochem II Lab course full-time. I say "taught" because we'd see the students over double the amount of time the professor saw them. And I taught double the classes so I'd have 12-14 hour days sometimes when we had lab ~800 hours~ ('22-'23) LoR: 4 total

I received a text from this morning as a reminder that on April 27th 2014 is the anniversary of your passing. You have died from one of the most horrible deaths that anyone can suffer from but it was also short lived. You were a good man, a good father, a good grandfather, uncle, etc. You were the only positive real life role model that I’ll always have in my life as most of my role models are para-social.
I knew from a young age that everyone but you has been a negative influence on me. As both Grandma and mom are full blown untreated narcissists along with untreated mental illnesses. I feel bad for you. I didn’t like the way that grandma was treating you. She was emotionally and mentally abusive to you. She was controlling your life, even isolating you. You never stood up for yourself and I completely understand why because I’ve been in the same position as you and my dad. My first love is a narcissist like grandma and mom but he is also a sociopath. He was a dangerous person who ruined my life. Consider me lucky because he left me and you and dad had to stay with your abuser. In fact you were abused for the rest of your life to the point where grandma gave you aspirin and ibuprofen together causing a hole on your stomach eating away your organs causing respiratory failure that took your life in less than 30 days. You never deserved this.
Life hasn’t been the same since you’ve been gone. Your passing tore our family apart. We don’t have family gatherings anymore, one of the children would come to town and not tell my family. She ended up with a 10 year old brain tumor where she had surgery done which came with complications. She lost 15 years of her life. I don’t think she knows you’re gone. Her and her daughter’s strange behavior has eventually caused me to disown her and the rest of her family last year. It was a tough decision but I did it. I don’t care for them anymore.
Your second born daughter now has two grandsons one is 5 or 6 and the other is around 3 years old. She and her husband moved to Florida for their retirement plus their home state has become impossible to afford to live. They at least tell us that they are coming to town. They still love to travel but they are traveling to my town often and staying in the house longer for reasons I’ll get to later.
Your first born daughter did the same thing as your third born daughter. Come to town and not tell us until after her husband passed away last summer, it was hard on me because I never got to say goodbye to him because i ended up having a bicycle wreck that almost took my life. I was unable to go to the funeral for being in a medically induced coma.
You should be proud of most people in the family and some you won’t even approve of.
My sister has finished college with a bachelor’s degree in the criminal justice field. She is now a security guard. Well me, I don’t think you’d appreciate the things I did in life. Because of the way I was treated by my family, my peers and my exes, I wanted to forget all of this abuse and turned to addiction. I started drinking and smoking at 19, using marijuana at 21 and I’ve experimented with pain killers whenever I got access to them even going as far as stealing grandmas pain killers. I do it to take all the pain and trauma away. I did go to college but dropped out because of my addictions and because my ex was so abusive that my grades dropped and I was burnt out. I’ve been arested several times for my anger issues likely inherited from both of my parents and risky behaviors. I’ve even broken into my ex’s house after he broke up with me. Our relationship was so codependent I thought that was what I had to do to get him back. But I ended up getting arrested and only served the full 2 years probation.
My addictions got so out of control on June 23rd of last year I was operating a bike under the influence of marijuana and blacked out as I was going down a steep hill, my back is broken, I’m completely paralyzed from the chest down, I can never walk again. I lost my life as an able bodied person, I can never do the physical activities I once loved to do. I survived something so horrific, I cry every time I think about it. I almost lost my life, I don’t know why I never dreamt about you while being in a medically induced coma. If I did I would choose death over life because I miss you so dearly. I still struggle with addiction to this day. I refuse to get help because I don’t want to stop getting drunk and getting high.
Now the person that you’d really know how she is. My grandma, she is suffering very slowly. She’s got full blown dementia. My mom and my aunts don’t even want to take care of her or have anything to do with her. Two of my aunts have been coming to town and staying with her for usually not even a week because she can’t take care of herself. They want nothing to do with the situation so my dad is her main care giver and he’s not even her child. Even my own mother doesn’t take care of me like she should. My dad has to juggle taking care of me and taking care of grandma. He doesn’t have time to do anything ever. She just leaves him to do all of the work. She doesn’t know who her children are, she forgets that I can’t even walk anymore, she only remembers two people, my dad, and you! She thinks about you a lot. Although I feel as she has no respect for you because all of your money was spent on junk, ER visits, opioids that she got addicted to, giving large amounts of money to other people, getting scammed on the telephone. Even though we took her checkbook it didn’t stop her for calling 911 for fake emergency room visits to obtain drugs and because she believes that she is dying. She is struggling everyday. Really dementia is a horrible thing to have. Honestly I’d rather die from what happened to you than have dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.
I think about you every now and then. Is it true that your spirit visited me in my dreams? I really love you and I really miss you grandpa. May you rest in paradise.

MaryBeth Marr
Why do I have the strange idea that Mary had to close down her business because something may have happened with her treatment of the dogs. Taking down the channel only to destroy nearly a million subscribers and over 100million views. I have to wonder if there was a legal action that is being settled prior to litigation papers being filed. Just a weird thought. What was she planning to run away from. This is my gut feeling. What is she running away from.
I can understand being burned out over working the same job daily, no longer enjoying it. Trying the mobile van which fizzled out within months. The car wash and multi-station grooming shop. A lovely coworker whose name I cannot remember who helped had some great techniques. Some of the videos of them working together were fun and amusing and it was a nice change which did bring smiles to me from time to time.
I am not including the scams right now, unless... something has caught up with her and caused her to have difficulties.
But this RV thing. I watched the RV Live where she told Kelbee about USA and Canada. She also revealed that she still had the shop and was no longer grooming Zach and Gus. Her parents found someone near them. Here is the transcript. You do have the watch the strange look on her face as she recounts this piece. It can be found here, the level of surprise and hurt.
https://www.youtube.com/live/I7GwqUV8\_\_c?si=jYfcOlv1h1q5b3PP&t=625
I still have my shop I can still
um I do not groom Gus and Zach anymore
my parents have found a
um have found a groomer out by them and
this groomer actually learned how to
groom from your videos by watching my
videos so
it's
crazy that my parents take their dogs
now
to a groomer that learned from me um she
lived in Canada learned how to groom by
watching my videos and then moved to the
United States to
Oklahoma after learning how to groom
States aren't we in the United States
she lived in
Canada she moved to the United States
still in North America but it's
different remember
================= Or she could be cycling as someone who is potentially bipolar. I see the armchair diagnosis we make here and the lifestyle, living condition, education of Kelbee, employment and healthcare roller coaster MB is one would be wise to have a competent board certified psychiatrist make a diagnosis of what her mental health is.
I think she had to give up the Mounjaro because with the business closing and the lower youtube revenue, I would not be surprised if it became unaffordable. Or if she gave up medical insurance which she received from the business. That would be commercial insurance. Here are the savings restrictions: https://mounjaro.lilly.com/savings-resources#savings
Now I am bipolar diagnosed officially 34 years ago with a psychiatrist. It took me 2 years to find the right combo of medication that felt like a light switch was turned on and I did not have to be hopeless. I had hope and Welbutrin made a difference in my life. I was on it for 10 years when it stopped working. We went on to other drugs and combos. I now just take one drug at night because I no longer work. I retired 15 years ago on disability related to my back and surgery where I was becoming paralyzed from a fall. I had 2 surgeries which kept me out of a wheelchair but my life has not been the same. This is why I can spend 10 to 15 hours a day on youtube.
I found MB after the watching the world's most demented groomer who tortures dogs as she shows the owner that she is the gift to difficult dogs. It was crazy. I wanted to understand what undercoat removal was. I watched the 1st groomer above, then I found MB.
I enjoyed her videos. They were engaging. She was interesting. I liked the personal home videos with Kelbee. I sent her a book on the wish list. MB did not thank me but Kelbee did. Polite kid. Then the videos stopped and were removed before I could see more of the personal channel.
I sent some bucks and ate Chef Boy R Dee for 2 weeks in order for the trip to the Mayo Clinic, the great Mayo Clinic could take place. Where on live MB was arguing with people who responded to her about the diagnoses were challenged but the Mayo Clinic was not wrong until Autism was ruled out.
I defended MB raising of Kelbee when the Yoruba Priestess of Island Religion was angered about how Kelbee was being treated. She took to heart the treatment and if memory is correct, made a call or two. Where MB had a gay man who helped on her live videos was also involved in defending her until he realized there was BS.
I came to Munchhausen by Proxy here, read everything devouring it and seeing how I was duped.
Watched how the homeless project was a game for MB when she had a new buddy run away. It appears once the someone works with MB for a bit and sees first hand what is going on, they seem to go towards a different direction after a bit. Whether their choice or MB's choice.
Kelbee cannot run away even though MB does what she can in front of the camera to push her away. This kid if this keeps up is going to be therapy. All she wants is to be loved. That makes her a normal kid, she wants to be loved. Mom just cannot love her. It is obligation to her raising her child that it appears she does not want to do.
Now I enjoyed sending the book on science way back from the wish list about 3 or 4 years ago and I did mind not being thanked because MB went off on a tangent about the book rather than thank you. It bothered me because every Amazon haul was taken out of the gift wrap, a small production about thanking the person, talking about the item with Kelbee and both of them thanking me. The book was around 10 bucks. It meant giving up something for me to gift a child a book. It was a feel good thing with me. I liked it and still glad I sent it.
I have to wonder how her fans from these days do not know the history and see that MB has demonstrated that she is no different than the Christian Ministers who take the money from people who want to help lacking their own money but want to feel good with their lives by making donations or gifting the wish list.
Now that bigger bucks from youtube are not coming in, she is screwed financially without her sure thing from nearly a million subscribers and nearly 100 million views.
MaryBeth Marr formerly of Rover's Makeover in Oklahoma, get yourself checked out by a psychiatrist while you can. For your sake and your daughter's sake.

This woman is so nasty to everyone in the chat. She told everyone to kiss her 🍑 after she pulled her pants down tonight because she didn't have a single donation. She has been at this over a year. She is constantly making racist comments. Always saying "pedro" will collect assistance but she was denied. She accused someone of not donationg to her because she is white. How would anyone know she's always behind a green screen. She doesn't want anyone to know what her scammer face looks like she also said she doesn't want to be teased for her looks then proceeds to tell someone their profile Pic makes her want to vomit. The claims of her having a son with a heart issue make no sense sje said he has an appt every single month my child has had 4 open heart surgeries 5 pulmonary valve replacements more cardiac caths than I can count and he's seen every 6 months. Let's bring attention to her scamming and report her!

Backstory: I (23M) used to work with a coworker, Jessica (42F), who loved talking about her pets and how they helped her manage her anxiety. I could relate because I have two cats that help with my own anxiety. After she moved states, we stayed connected through Facebook, mainly reacting to each other's posts.
Jessica often posted her CashApp and Venmo details on Facebook, asking for money for pet food, toys, and even rent. Despite having a decent job, she seemed to manage her finances poorly, which I found odd. I usually ignored these types of posts.
The incident: One day, I saw a post about Jessica’s cat needing emergency surgery after a neighbors dog attacked her, costing about $2000. She asked facebook for financial help. I messaged her, suggesting that the dog's owner should cover the costs. She explained the owner was broke and her cat urgently needed surgery. Feeling sympathetic, I sent her $600 from my savings.
I hinted that I expected the money back if her neighbor paid. A few days later, Jessica posted that her neighbor had indeed paid the full $2000, avoiding court. I congratulated her but later asked about getting my $600 back. She seemed confused and insisted it was a donation, needed now for her cat’s recovery and other essentials.
I was shocked. I tried to clarify that my intention was to loan the money for the surgery, not give it away for other uses. She called me a horrible friend and blocked me on Facebook. As a college student, $600 is a significant amount for me.
AITA for expecting my money back, or should I have just let it go?