Hey,
I still have swelling 7 months after a hydrocelectomy, the swelling seems to be behind the testicle and to the front as I can the the areas light up when doing the trans illumination test in a dark room. Is this normal and will this fluid resolve or will I need another surgery? My testicle is the size of an egg and is pretty solid so it causes a lot of discomfort as I can constantly feel it pressing against me. Im a 26M and I had my surgery last October, any help is greatly appreciated.
Thanks

Day One:
‘Hey, did it work? Can you hear me?’ the tinny, female voice asked. All was dark, then, light. Slowly, his vision cleared and he saw the sky. The sun. Then, a small floating thing that bobbed and danced excitedly over him. ‘You're alive! Finally! I've been looking for you for a long time Guardian!’ that same voice said. It seemed to be coming directly into his ear from a speaker. He sat up and placed his hands on his head. A helmet was there. He began to gasp and panic, trying to remove it. ‘Hey, what are you doing? Calm down….’ the voice said. The helmet disappeared. He drew in a breath. The air was foul with a fetid undertone.
‘What the fuck? What are you? Where am I?’ He asked the thing which was now spinning and dancing in front of him. He coughed and placed his arm over his mouth. The stench was almost unbearable. The helmet rematerialized as soon as he moved his arm.
‘Sorry, but the air here is toxic. Not lethal, but not pleasant. Too many corpses rotting. I replaced the helmet to filter it. My name is Cilla, and I'm a Ghost. YOUR Ghost. I'll explain more about that later, but the long and short of it is you were dead for centuries and I brought you back.’ it said.
‘Dead? Centuries? Wait…. Why can't I remember anything from before I woke up here, who am I?’ He asked. ‘And what do you mean a ghost? Like you're also a dead person?’
‘No, Guardian. I'm more like a piece of the Light that brought you back. It's a long story and we will have time to go over it. Let's get you moving though. We are a long way from the city, and this area hasn't been patrolled or swept like ever. We need to move, who knows what kind of threats have been hiding here’ Cilla said.
‘Where is here, exactly? And which city?’ He asked as he stood up. He looked down and saw he was wearing a kind of robe like garment with gloves, pants, and armored boots. An armlet was fastened around his bicep. ‘And what the fuck am I wearing?’
‘This was once called Romania I think, these are the Carpathian mountains. At least that's what historical records I could find indicate. And you are wearing armor Guardian. You are a Warlock, which means you are powerful, curious, and capable of amazing things. Let's get moving. Seriously, this isn't a safe place. You did die here once already after all.’
He looked around. There wasn't much to see other than the wild beauty of a dark forest run wild that had retaken the civilization that was wiped out. It was haunting and lovely. But there was a hint of something….. dark. He looked down, and saw he was standing on a pile of bones in the remains of an old uniform. A piece of metal twinkled in the ruins of it's ribs. He bent and picked it up. As he brushed the dirt and grit off he asked the Ghost ‘Was this me?’
‘No, your body was reconstituted, that was the one you were on top of….’ She said. He looked down at the tag he had picked up. It read ‘Kassien’
‘Well, then they don't need the name anymore, and apparently I don't have one…. I guess you can call me Kassien instead of guardian.’ He said.
Cilla swooped. ‘Kassien! I like it!’ She said and spun in the air. Her voice was pleasant and slightly sultry. Weird. ‘Now let's move. There is the remains of an installation a few kilometers away. We probably won't find a ship there but maybe some weapons and a way to contact the city.’ she said.
‘OK, let's go. You can fill me in as we walk. First off, what's a Warlock?’ he said. He jumped down off of the mound he had awoken on, and was shocked to find himself gliding slowly down to the ground. ‘What the fuck, I can fly?’ he asked.
‘Not exactly’ Cilla said laughing a bit. ‘Warlocks can glide amongst other abilities. Let's cover the basics as we walk’ she said. And as he walked she explained about the Traveler, the Darkness, the collapse from the Golden Age, and the Guardians. By the time they reached the ancient military facility, he was reeling with it all.
‘So, I'm a space wizard?’ Kass asked. He looked at his hands and concentrated. She claimed he had this power of light flowing through him, and wanted to test it out. At first there was nothing, then, a bright ball of yellowish orange energy flickered into existence in his hand. In his shock he lost his focus and it exploded, taking his hand and lower arm with it. Blood was everywhere. The pain was searing and intense. ‘What the fuck!? Cilla!’ He shouted. She popped out if his backpack and floated there. She did nothing. He bled and the world turned black.
Then he was back. His arm was fine. There wasn't even a singed thread on his glove. ‘What just happened?’ Kass asked. He flexed his hand. No pain. He felt fantastic.
‘Well, you tried to use your power, formed a grenade, blew your own arm off, and bled to death…’ she said. There was a slight bit of humor in her voice. ‘Then I brought you back. I could have healed it, but I thought it best to get the whole ‘You are going to die over and over’ thing out of the way. That is part of the deal, boss. You can die again and again and it hurts every time, but I will always bring you back as long as I am not destroyed or the Light isn't choked off by the Darkness.’ she said.
‘That's kind of fucked up, but yeah, rip the bandage off I guess….’ he said sardonically. He walked over to the dark, gaping entrance and peered inside. ‘Don't suppose you know where we could find a light, do you?’ Cilla made no reply, but floated over his left shoulder and shot a focused beam of bright light into the darkness. ‘Nice, Cilla’
‘Thanks, Boss!’ she said and spun in the air. ‘I scanned the area, looks like there was an armory not too far inside. Maybe there are some guns left. We need a weapon or fifty.’
‘From what you told me about all the creatures here, yeah could be a good idea. Do guns kill them?’
‘Oh yeah, if there is one thing Guardians can't have enough of it's guns.’
‘OK, let's find some firepower.’ Kass said. They stepped inside, leaving the sunlight behind. That would be one of the worst mistakes Kass and Cilla made on that first day.
To be continued....

A few upfront disclaimers:

• No, a scent won’t make a woman instantly become attracted to you in most instances.
  
• No, you don’t NEED a scent/fragrance to attract women. (Can see the comments now: “I do great with women and I don’t wear anything!” We get it.)
  
• Wearing a scent won’t matter if you have fundamentally poor hygiene (don’t bathe, brush teeth, wear some form of deodorant). Take care of those first.
  

One final note—don’t bathe yourself in your fragrance. One or two sprays max behind the ears, or on the back of your neck. You don’t want to drown out your natural musk or skin scent. If a woman is attracted to you, she’ll find your natural scent appealing, as long as you don't have terrible body odor.

1. Mont Blanc Legend

Mont Blanc might be the GOAT when it comes to affordable fragrances that appeal to women (and people in general). Some say that this scent is very similar to Abercrombie and Fitch Fierce. Don’t worry if you think this will make you smell like a mall in the early 2000’s. It won’t. Women generally seem to be drawn to the scent profile that Legend, A&F Fierce, and Parfum de Marly Percival share. They all smell very fresh, woody, and traditionally masculine. My first recommendation of those would be to go with Legend first.
Note: I would also highly recommend Mont Blanc Explorer, which smells like a fresher, lighter version of Creed’s Aventus.

1. Versace Eros EDT

Eros is a mix of fresh and sweet, it smells very youthful. I don’t personally own it, but I’ve sampled it several times. I can see the appeal. Of all fragrances men have mentioned get the most compliments from women, Versace always come out on top. I believe that this is because it’s somewhat attention grabbing, and would work well standing out in a club or party setting.

1. Prada Luna Rossa Carbon

This scent smells shares similarities to Dior’s Sauvage, which is currently the best selling men’s fragrance on the market. Women generally react positively to Sauvage. In my opinion, Carbon smells like a more refined, smoother version of Sauvage, but still has the same attention-grabbing factor. Personally, I’ve received comments and positive feedback on Prada. This is a good alternative to Sauvage if you want something that’s more toned down, but will get you the same effect.

1. Bleu De Chanel EDP

Bleu De Chanel, like Sauvage, has become almost ubiquitous with men’s fragrances over the past several years. Some say it’s slightly generic, but I thoroughly disagree— especially in the case of the Eau de Parfum. It’s refined, masculine, clean, and has a very slight sweet edge to it. I’ve always gotten good feedback in person, especially in my relationship. If you search online, men list Bleu de Chanel as one of their most attention-grabbing and complimented fragrances. If you’re looking for a scent that makes you feel sophisticated, and is also versatile, look into BDC.

1. Dolce and Gabbana The One

On a personal note, my girlfriend hates this fragrance on me, but I’m still adding it to the top 5, based on the feedback I got from women during my single days. It’s a sweet but masculine scent, and has been described as the quintessential date night fragrance. Probably not the best fragrance if you want to be bold and announce your presence in club-type setting, but if you want to project the image of someone who is seductive and has their shit together, The One is the perfect choice. Try layering this with BDC for added effect.

1. Chanel Platinum Egoiste

If you’re looking for a classic “boss scent”— this is the ultimate choice. The scent is slightly retro, masculine, cold, and green. It might be harder to pull off if you’re on the younger side, but this is my go-to for a confidence boost, and my girl absolutely loves it. It’s a classic that you might not smell out and about as often anymore, so you will stand apart from the Sauvages of the world with this. Hall of Fame for sure.
Full article on topic: https://modating.substack.com/p/style-fundamentals-5-scents-that

A few upfront disclaimers:

• No, a scent won’t make a woman instantly become attracted to you in most instances.
  
• No, you don’t NEED a scent/fragrance to attract women. (Can see the comments now: “I do great with women and I don’t wear anything!” We get it.)
  
• Wearing a scent won’t matter if you have fundamentally poor hygiene (don’t bathe, brush teeth, wear some form of deodorant). Take care of those first.
  

One final note—don’t bathe yourself in your fragrance. One or two sprays max behind the ears, or on the back of your neck. You don’t want to drown out your natural musk or skin scent. If a woman is attracted to you, she’ll find your natural scent appealing, as long as you don't have terrible body odor.

1. Mont Blanc Legend

Mont Blanc might be the GOAT when it comes to affordable fragrances that appeal to women (and people in general). Some say that this scent is very similar to Abercrombie and Fitch Fierce. Don’t worry if you think this will make you smell like a mall in the early 2000’s. It won’t. Women generally seem to be drawn to the scent profile that Legend, A&F Fierce, and Parfum de Marly Percival share. They all smell very fresh, woody, and traditionally masculine. My first recommendation of those would be to go with Legend first.
Note: I would also highly recommend Mont Blanc Explorer, which smells like a fresher, lighter version of Creed’s Aventus.

1. Versace Eros EDT

Eros is a mix of fresh and sweet, it smells very youthful. I don’t personally own it, but I’ve sampled it several times. I can see the appeal. Of all fragrances men have mentioned get the most compliments from women, Versace always come out on top. I believe that this is because it’s somewhat attention grabbing, and would work well standing out in a club or party setting.

1. Prada Luna Rossa Carbon

This scent smells shares similarities to Dior’s Sauvage, which is currently the best selling men’s fragrance on the market. Women generally react positively to Sauvage. In my opinion, Carbon smells like a more refined, smoother version of Sauvage, but still has the same attention-grabbing factor. Personally, I’ve received comments and positive feedback on Prada. This is a good alternative to Sauvage if you want something that’s more toned down, but will get you the same effect.

1. Bleu De Chanel EDP

Bleu De Chanel, like Sauvage, has become almost ubiquitous with men’s fragrances over the past several years. Some say it’s slightly generic, but I thoroughly disagree— especially in the case of the Eau de Parfum. It’s refined, masculine, clean, and has a very slight sweet edge to it. I’ve always gotten good feedback in person, especially in my relationship. If you search online, men list Bleu de Chanel as one of their most attention-grabbing and complimented fragrances. If you’re looking for a scent that makes you feel sophisticated, and is also versatile, look into BDC.

1. Dolce and Gabbana The One

On a personal note, my girlfriend hates this fragrance on me, but I’m still adding it to the top 5, based on the feedback I got from women during my single days. It’s a sweet but masculine scent, and has been described as the quintessential date night fragrance. Probably not the best fragrance if you want to be bold and announce your presence in club-type setting, but if you want to project the image of someone who is seductive and has their shit together, The One is the perfect choice. Try layering this with BDC for added effect.

1. Chanel Platinum Egoiste

If you’re looking for a classic “boss scent”— this is the ultimate choice. The scent is slightly retro, masculine, cold, and green. It might be harder to pull off if you’re on the younger side, but this is my go-to for a confidence boost, and my girl absolutely loves it. It’s a classic that you might not smell out and about as often anymore, so you will stand apart from the Sauvages of the world with this. Hall of Fame for sure.
Full article on topic: https://modating.substack.com/p/style-fundamentals-5-scents-that

A few upfront disclaimers:

• No, a scent won’t make a woman instantly become attracted to you in most instances.
  
• No, you don’t NEED a scent/fragrance to attract women. (Can see the comments now: “I do great with women and I don’t wear anything!” We get it.)
  
• Wearing a scent won’t matter if you have fundamentally poor hygiene (don’t bathe, brush teeth, wear some form of deodorant). Take care of those first.
  

One final note—don’t bathe yourself in your fragrance. One or two sprays max behind the ears, or on the back of your neck. You don’t want to drown out your natural musk or skin scent. If a woman is attracted to you, she’ll find your natural scent appealing, as long as you don't have terrible body odor.

1. Mont Blanc Legend

Mont Blanc might be the GOAT when it comes to affordable fragrances that appeal to women (and people in general). Some say that this scent is very similar to Abercrombie and Fitch Fierce. Don’t worry if you think this will make you smell like a mall in the early 2000’s. It won’t. Women generally seem to be drawn to the scent profile that Legend, A&F Fierce, and Parfum de Marly Percival share. They all smell very fresh, woody, and traditionally masculine. My first recommendation of those would be to go with Legend first.
Note: I would also highly recommend Mont Blanc Explorer, which smells like a fresher, lighter version of Creed’s Aventus.

1. Versace Eros EDT

Eros is a mix of fresh and sweet, it smells very youthful. I don’t personally own it, but I’ve sampled it several times. I can see the appeal. Of all fragrances men have mentioned get the most compliments from women, Versace always come out on top. I believe that this is because it’s somewhat attention grabbing, and would work well standing out in a club or party setting.

1. Prada Luna Rossa Carbon

This scent smells shares similarities to Dior’s Sauvage, which is currently the best selling men’s fragrance on the market. Women generally react positively to Sauvage. In my opinion, Carbon smells like a more refined, smoother version of Sauvage, but still has the same attention-grabbing factor. Personally, I’ve received comments and positive feedback on Prada. This is a good alternative to Sauvage if you want something that’s more toned down, but will get you the same effect.

1. Bleu De Chanel EDP

Bleu De Chanel, like Sauvage, has become almost ubiquitous with men’s fragrances over the past several years. Some say it’s slightly generic, but I thoroughly disagree— especially in the case of the Eau de Parfum. It’s refined, masculine, clean, and has a very slight sweet edge to it. I’ve always gotten good feedback in person, especially in my relationship. If you search online, men list Bleu de Chanel as one of their most attention-grabbing and complimented fragrances. If you’re looking for a scent that makes you feel sophisticated, and is also versatile, look into BDC.

1. Dolce and Gabbana The One

On a personal note, my girlfriend hates this fragrance on me, but I’m still adding it to the top 5, based on the feedback I got from women during my single days. It’s a sweet but masculine scent, and has been described as the quintessential date night fragrance. Probably not the best fragrance if you want to be bold and announce your presence in club-type setting, but if you want to project the image of someone who is seductive and has their shit together, The One is the perfect choice. Try layering this with BDC for added effect.

1. Chanel Platinum Egoiste

If you’re looking for a classic “boss scent”— this is the ultimate choice. The scent is slightly retro, masculine, cold, and green. It might be harder to pull off if you’re on the younger side, but this is my go-to for a confidence boost, and my girl absolutely loves it. It’s a classic that you might not smell out and about as often anymore, so you will stand apart from the Sauvages of the world with this. Hall of Fame for sure.
Full article on topic: https://modating.substack.com/p/style-fundamentals-5-scents-that

So I recently broke my ankle and I was ordered to come back to work the following day, due to my inability to walk I called my supervisor to let her know that I would not make it in. She said that it was fine, and that accidents happen and to let her know what she could do to help. Now mind you, I have struggled at my job since I’ve been here and my supervisor says that she is always there to help me because we have seven other people on our staff to accommodate someone if something goes wrong. She told me other times before that I just needed to reach out. So because I was anxious and unsure about how my ankle was going to act from day to day and how that might affect me coming in on time on, I asked her if it would be possible if I could test students on the days where students test in the afternoon, also if I could be on the first floor to work on things to avoid a long painful commute up and down the stairs. She also said that one of my co workers would be there to help me out if I needed them to pick me up. I didn’t need that, because I can still drive, but I texted her and said that I just needed someone to potentially help me out the car and make sure I didn’t fall or slip on my way to the building. She said that it would be fine and she would fine someone else to accommodate my needs and that I would need to communicate with others about my needs. Later on that day, I get a call from one of my co workers who is in charge of overseeing testing and she tells me that regardless of my ankle condition, I needed to come in to ensure that all of the counselors test equally. She told me in order to avoid any glitches with time, that I need to wake up early and get to the testing site. My supervisor then texted me back and gave me my schedule with early testing appointments. I said okay to the both of them and said that I would try to get there as soon as possible despite my ankle trouble. The first day, I came back everything was fine. I tested my student and the day went smoothly. The second day I was there, I called to have someone help me out the car, she huffed in my ear and said I’m coming. I told her the day before that I needed to get some paperwork to complete an assignment that my supervisor wanted us to do. She said she was going to look for it and never came down with it, no big deal, I continued to work on other things. I had to leave during the afternoon to go to my doctor’s appointment, I found out I had to wear a boot. As soon as I found that out, I texted my supervisor and head of testing to let them know. They didn’t say anything major. Before I left for doctor’s appointment, I left my things on the table that I was working on to continue over on the day that I came back. Yesterday, I got to work and I could hardly walk my ankle was so much in pain, I called the coworkers that was supposed to be helping me out the car, I got sent to voicemail. So I texted my supervisor to let her know that it was going to be a while before I came in. No response. So I hobbled in the building in pain, and I saw that my things were gone from Friday when I went to my doctor’s appointment. I asked where did my things go and my other co workers went to go look for them they eventually found it in the testing room, so I asked what was I supposed to do. The testing counselor told me to wait until the student was on break. I was visibly upset, but I waited until I could get my stuff. My supervisor then text me and other coworkers about a task that still needed to be done. I texted her back personally that I had to wait until testing was over to get my stuff. No response. I started working on my things and then the two of them came up to me on each side and said that they cancelled my test that was supposed to be happening and that I could go home. I said that I was not going home and that I was capable of getting my work done here and test as long as I would be able to sit and rest my leg. I also stated that I was really confused that you would want to send me home seeing that both of them said that I needed to come to school to test regardless of my ankle condition. The counselor then stated that I could take my workload home, I said I can’t do that because it’s way too heavy to carry back and forth to my apartment on a broken ankle. They then started asking me about pain medication and my boot. I was getting angry because they were asking me these stupid questions about non relevant stuff. I then said yes in a snarky way and my supervisor got upset and said I sense attitude from you and I don’t have time for this and walked away. After I had cooled down, I wanted to continue to talk about how I felt that I was being ignored and put on low priority when all I wanted to do was come into work and help out with the tests and not get behind on stuff just to turn around and waste my time. She said that she was sorry I felt that way and pretty much walked away. Fast forward, today she texted me and put me on another early test schedule and pretty much told me to get out of the main counseling area and go back upstairs to my own office… Now I’m really upset because she’s acting trifling. I know I was wrong for getting an attitude yesterday, but you have to admit she was totally not being aware of my needs and straight up wrong for going back on her words regarding me needing help! Was I wrong or overreacting? Please let me know because even my mom is saying that she is being a hypocrite. Any feedback is welcome.

Had some JCole meat tongue try to grab my butt. Again, long hair and from behind, I bet I can pass for a pretty lady with questionable wide shoulders. No ear problems, so I grabbed him up and brought him straight to the station head. Made sure they understood and called the cops. They were going to give me trouble it seemed, but I showed the badge I carry and explained I had cop friends back home and they let me go without trying to bust my balls over being a Kendrick Lamar Stan.

Introduction

ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION, Zepp Tokyo for \"Quarter-Century Tour\"

^(\This article is an updated version of my "Sound Like" article from 2021. I have reposted this article due to difficulties editing the original version*, and have included additional information and recommendations based on the increased popularity of amp simulator pedals*)*

Hello fellow musicians and Ajikan fans!
I have been a fan of ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION for roughly 16 years and as a guitarist was greatly inspired by the band's alt rock sound.
After a few years of research I have written a series of "sound like" articles for ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION. The purpose of these articles is to provide context on how the band create their signature sound, and to support beginning musicians or tribute acts who may wish to replicate it.
At the end of each article I have drafted a Budget Rig, which you could use for both at home and in a live environment. I have also provided some general amp settings to tweak and try, which are based on the band's live sound and be can used to help replicate their tones.
This is a 3-part series and if you enjoy this article I would recommend checking out the other articles:
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 2: Kita : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 3: Yamada : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)

^{Please note that the article focuses on the band's live sound, which will be different to the albums and can vary depending on the venue. Also (and is a cliché} every musician and instrument will vary slightly due to small differences in play style and build, so also be mindful of that.)

To help you recognise the individual guitar tones, Gotch's guitar parts are normally panned to the left earphone and Kita's are panned to the right earphone on the band's albums. (On 2016's Sol-Fa, Hometown and some of the Planet Folks singles the panning was swapped, with Gotch instead in the right ear and Kita on the left)

Masafumi Gotoh

Gotch live at the 02 Islington, London, 2013
Let's start off with lead singer and rhythm guitarist Masafumi Gotoh, or "Gotch" for short. Gotch's was massively influenced by the 90's alternative rock, Power Pop and the Britpop scene, and has previously highlighted Oasis, Weezer and Number Girl as key inspirations.
As Ajikan's main songwriter, Gotch follows the principle of "less is more" - keeping the arrangements simple for listeners, but combining pop hooks & traditional Asian melodies with the band's punk rock and indie influences.
Gotch's playing style follows this principle, as he primarily uses chord shapes, bar chords or repeated phrases to anchor the band. (The simple approach also makes it easier for Gotch to sing while performing)
Occasionally, Gotch will use "octave chords" (more on octave chords below) or play riffs with open strings notes, to add further depth. A good example of this is the opening riffs to Easter, where he plays an open D string while also playing the 3rd and 5th fret of the A string.

^{Octave Chords: Octave chords is famously used in punk rock and alt rock riffs, and is when you play the same note in two different octaves. Try play a bar chord on the 4th fret of the A string, and lifting your ring finger off the D string. You should get a "C# octave chord" and will recognise it from the intro of Haruka Kanata. Octave chords are used in many Ajikan songs and by many bands, so they are good to practice!}

In more recent albums, Gotch has also experimented with moving chord shapes across the fretboard. For good examples, check out the opening of Caterpillar or the bridge section of Kouya Wo Aruke.
Gotch's guitar tends to be lower in the overall mix, with Kita acting as the band's lead guitarist and Gotch as the anchor for each song. However, Gotch tends to improvise with ambient sounds during live performances and occasionally will take on the lead role in songs like Hold Me Tight.

GUITARS:

When it comes to guitars Gotch almost exclusively plays Gibson Les Paul Jr's with P-90 pickups, and has been his preferred guitar since 2004. The P-90 pickups have a bright midrange sound in comparison to the muddier humbucker sound, which makes them better suited for Gotch's focus on chords.
Gotch main guitar is the 1959 Gibson Les Paul Special
The Les Paul Jr is also lighter and have less sustain and power compared to a normal Les Paul, which leaves space for the other instruments to stand out in the mix.
Gotch's main guitar is a 1959 Gibson Les Paul Special, which he plays in E Standard tuning and uses for both recording and live performances. Gotch also uses a 1961 Gibson Les Paul Jr (with the pickguard missing) or a 2000 Gibson Les Paul DC (with a gloss yellow finish) for songs in Eb/D# tuning, such as After Dark or Soredewa, Mata Ashita.
Gotch's is also famous for using a 1975 Gibson Marauder during the band's early years. Gotch has mostly retired the guitar (due to the "lack of volume" for larger venues), but it regularly appears in MV's, band merchandise and occasionally during special events, such as the 10th anniversary shows in Yokohama.
Gotch's Gibson Marauder
Gotch occasionally uses a few rarer guitars live, such as the Gibson Custom Les Paul Junior John Lennon model (Gotch has number 54 of 300 such guitars made), and is normally played with a capo for songs such as Maigo Inu To Ame No Beat.
Gotch has also used a Gibson Hummingbird for acoustic numbers, and can be seen used in Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol.6 for the band's performance of Kaigan Doori. Gotch likes to use Tortex Flex .88mm & Tortex Flex Triangle .88mm guitar picks, which he swaps between depending on the song.
If you are looking to sound like Gotch, the best place to start would be a Les Paul Jr guitar with P-90 pickups.

AMPLIFIERS:

After originally touring with a Roland JC-22, Gotch has almost exclusively played Fender amplifiers since 2004. Gotch uses two amps when playing live, one for his "clean" sound and the other for his "heavy" sound.
The band's often implement a "quiet/loud" dynamic into their song writing, so Gotch will often switch between his amps during live performances, using a custom made footswitch on his pedalboard. (A good example of this is Mustang or Solanin)
For his clean tone, Gotch uses a Fender 65' Twin Custom Twin 15. It can be heard on Korogaru Iwa, Kimi ni Asa Ga Furu, Solanin and Wonder Future. Occasionally, Gotch will combine the Twin Reverb with a boost pedal or overdrive pedal for more clarity, with Wonder Future a good examples of this.
(1) Fender '65 Twin Custom 15 (clean tone), (2) Fender Vibro-King Custom, (3) Fender Super-Sonic 60 Head (which uses the Vibro-King as a speaker), (4) Fender '63 Spring Reverb (which runs in between the pedal board and the Super-Sonic 60, and is toggled on or off by a switch)
For his heavier tone, Gotch primarily uses a Fender Vibro-King Custom for recording and appears in most of the band's MV's. The Vibro-King/Twin Reverb was Gotch's main setup during the 2000's and can be seen together on Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol. 6.
In 2009 Gotch started to use a Fender Super-Sonic 60 Amp Head and still uses it now. Until 2022, Gotch would use Vibro-King as a "cabinet", acting as the speaker unit for the Super-Sonic. Gotch now uses a Shinos & L Rocket Head for live shows, but has kept the Vibro-king for recording sessions and MVs.
Since 2022 Gotch has used Shinos & L Rocket amp & cabinet instead of the Fender Vibro-King
Gotch "heavy" amps for songs such as Re:Re:, Haruka Kanata and Rewrite. It is important to note that Gotch prefers to use his amps to create his distorted tone, but will occasionally add an overdrive pedal for heavier tracks such as Blood Circulator & Easter.
Alongside the Twin Reverb and Super-Sonic, Gotch is known to use a Fender 63' Spring Reverb Unit. This unit only runs into the Super-Sonic and is used for additional reverb to "thicken the sound". Gotch can control the 63' Reverb with a on/off switch on his pedal board.
Other notable amps that Gotch has used are the Matchless C30 & Bad Cat 30R Head. Both have been used exclusively for recording, most notably on Wonder Future. Gotch is also known to use VOX AC15 amps for recording.
Gotch's '63 Spring Reverb Unit, along with a selection of Vortex Flex .88m picks

In terms of mics, Gotch seems to use a Shure SM57 for his Fender Twin Reverb and a Shure SM58 on his Vibro-King or Shinos Rocket. When you are trying to emulate his sound with modelling or profiling amps, it is worth experimenting with mic positioning and different mics.

If you want to replicate Gotch's amp sound then you should look to replicate his Fender amps. However the Vibro-King is a key component and are unfortunately rare, notoriously loud and expensive. For that reason, I have put together some alternatives that should get you close.

PEDALS & EFFECTS:

During Ajikan's early years, Gotch combined a Roland JC-22 with a ProCo RAT to create the "quiet/loud" dynamic of the band's early records. After buying the Fender Vibro-King in 2004, Gotch no longer required the RAT, but kept a simplified pedalboard to achieve certain tones for live performances.
Gotch's 2004 pedalboard, which includes the ProCo RAT and Ibanez TS9 Tube Screamer
We will cover two different pedalboards that Gotch has used during the band's career. Regardless of which pedal board you look at, Gotch's has always included an overdrive or boost pedal, a phase pedal and a delay pedal.
The boost/overdrive is used to "lift" his clean sound during ballads (Solanin, Wonder Future) or to thicken his sound for heavier tracks. (Senseless, Dororo) Gotch will normally set the drive or gain low and the volume high.
The phaser is a more sparingly used pedal to add texture and colour, but can be heard on Shinkokyū, Blue Train and Rewrite. I will include more detail on Gotch's use of delay in the sections below.
Gotch's "Classic" Pedalboard
Gotch \"classic\" pedalboard, used between 2006-2013, with Gotch's custom made footswitch on the bottom left to control the amps
Gotch started to use this "classic" board during the Fanclub tour and continued to do so until the 10th Anniversary shows in 2013. This would be the easier and more affordable board to replicate for newcomers.
Gotch's setup started with a BOSS TU-3 tuner, which he also used as a "mute" pedal in between songs. From there, his chain would run into the Ibanez TS808 Tube Screamer, the BOSS PH-2 Super Phaser and the BOSS DD-20 Giga Delay. During the Magic Disk tour, Gotch also added a Custom Audio Tremolo.

^{The BOSS DD-20 has been Gotch's main delay pedal for twenty years and is set to "warp". On the warp setting, Gotch can keep his foot on the pedal to create swells of delays. Gotch's standard setting is 173-179bpm (beats per minute} on 1/4 (quarter) notes and then he has four presets. These are 137bpm on 1/4 (for the intro of Blackout), 154bpm on 1/4 (for Kakato de Ai o Uchinarase), 177bpm on 1/2 (for Solanin and the intro of Siren) and finally 177 on 1/4. (For the second half of Siren))

Gotch also included two footswitches for his board; The first one was a handmade footswitch, which he used to swap between the Twin Reverb and the Vibro-King/Super-Sonic. The other footswitch was a BOSS FS-5L, which he used to control the '63 Spring Reverb Unit.
Gotch's "Modern" Pedalboard
Gotch's \"modern\" pedal board.【Pedal List】(1) api/TranZformer GT (compressoequalizer) (2) BOSS/TU-3 (tuner) (3) Spaceman Effects/Atlas III (preamp) (4) BOSS/DD-6 (delay) (5) Spaceman Effects/Voyager I (tremolo) (6) EarthQuaker Devices/Avalanche Run (delay/reverb) (7) Mu-Tron/Mu-FX Phasor 2X (phaser) (8) Caroline Guitar Company/KILOBYTE (9) BOSS/DD-20 (delay) (10) Handmade/Line Selector (11) FAT/514.D (booster)(12) strymon/Zuma R300 (power supply) (13)BOSS/EV-30 (Expression Pedal) (14) BOSS/FS-5L (foot switch)
During the recording of Wonder Future and his first solo album (Can't Be Forever Young), Gotch began to experiment more with boutique pedals, and has resulted in a more complex board since 2014, allowing more ambient experiments on the band's records and during live performances.
Gotch has added a API Tranzformer GT to the start of his chain, only using the E.Q. section and tweaking the settings for each venue.
Gotch's "Modern" board now includes a variety of delay and reverb pedals, such as the Earthquaker Device Avalanche Run and the Caroline Kilobyte Lo-Fi Delay. These are combined with his DD-20 to create the ambient sounds heard on Empathy & the outro of Demachiyanagi Parallel Universe.
The BOSS DD-6 Digital Delay is set to the "reverse" mode and is used during the intro of Re:Re: and the bridge of Rewrite. Gotch has removed the Tube-Screamer from his board and has experimented with multiple alternative pedals, which includes the Xotic Effects AC Plus and JHS Superbolt.
He currently uses the Atlas III Preamp Booster and the FAT 514.D for his overdrive sounds. The 514.D only runs to the Super-Sonic to help "thicken" the distorted tone of the Super-Sonic.
Gotch has also replaced the Super Phaser with the MU-FX Phasor 2x and is using a Voyager I Spaceman for his tremolo. (UCLA & No Name are good references for the tremolo) Finally, Gotch has added an BOSS EV-30 expression pedal, which he uses to control the delay of the Avalanche Run.
If you are looking to replicate Gotch's pedalboard, the best place to start would be a phaser, delay and a boost/overdrive pedal, which would cover most of Ajikan's Discography.

Sound Like Gotch...On a Budget

Now that you are up to speed on what Gotch uses for his guitar rig, we can start to look at replicating his sound. The idea of this section is to offer affordable suggestions to replicate Gotch's tone that can be used for home use and for small live venues.
I would like to highlight that I am just writing as a fan and the equipment I recommend are purely my own recommendations. I do not have any sponsors (I wish I did sometimes) and if you find alternatives that work for you, go for it!
Gotch performing in 2022, during the Quarter Century shows in Yokohama
To buy Gotch's current pedal board alone would cost roughly £2,500 and would be unrealistic for most readers to purchase, however there are options that can get us close to Gotch's tone without breaking the bank.
The key elements to this rig are:

• A Gibson style guitar with P-90 pickups
• A Fender amp with decent distortion
• A Tube-Screamer style overdrive
• A flexible Delay pedal

Let's start with the guitar, which is both important for the P-90 tone. You should always feel comfortable when playing the guitar you pick, so I recommend trying out the guitar when possible before buying.
GUITARS
As an affordable guitar, I would suggest looking at the Epiphone Les Paul Jr. It is the entry level price for Gibson guitars (Epiphone would be the equivalent to "Squier" for Fender) and includes P-90 pickups as the standard setup. You can buy one for around £380 and should also be fairly easy to modify & similar to Gotch's sound.
Epiphone Les Paul Junior
If you do have a higher budget to work with, I would recommend the Gibson Les Paul Special Tribute DC. These were released in 2019 and you can normally find a 2nd hand version for roughly £650 - £800. (It is also the guitar I currently use!) Failing that, you can also look at the Gibson Les Paul Special for around £800.
Gibson Les Paul Special Tribute DC
AMPLIFIERS
We are looking to replicate Gotch's Fender amps, so the affordable option to start with would be the Fender Mustang GTX. The newer Mustang amps are an improvement on the original and have simulations of the Twin Reverb, the Vibro-King and the Super-Sonic.
The GTX 50 (which has a smaller speaker) is roughly £390 and the GTX 100 (which includes a footswitch) is about £510, but you should be able to find both versions for a reduced cost second hand.
Fender Mustang GTX 100
If you do have a higher budget or prefer to use a tube amp, I would recommend going for the Fender Super-Sonic Combo or the Fender Hot Rod Deluxe for a solid distorted Fender tone.
Alternatively, you could consider the Fender Blues Junior, Fender Tone Master Twin-Reverb or Roland JC, and combine them with a ProCo RAT to replicate the tones from Houkai Amplifier and Kimi Tsunagi Five M.
PEDALS
To keep the list of suggestions short and simple, we will use Gotch's "classic" board as a reference and will cover most of the band's discography.
For a budget rig, I would recommend the Ibanez Tube-Screamer Mini, which is a miniature version of the standard Ibanez Tube-Screamer and sound great for the price. You could pair this up with a Boss Phase Shifter and a BOSS DD-6 Delay for around £309 brand new to get a very similar Gotch board. (You could buy them for as low as £110 combined on the 2nd hand market)
The Tube Screamer Mini is a cheap, effective overdrive pedal based on the classic TS808
For a more expensive pedalboard, the JHS Superbolt V2 was used by Gotch extensively between 2015-2019 and was once described by Gotch as "the Ajikan sound" on his blog. You could also buy the TS808 Tube Screamer that Gotch actually used for many years or the JHS Bonsai 9 which emulates multiple tube screamers.
For modulation sounds (phase, tremolo) the AmpliTube X-Vibe is one of many great multi-effect pedal on the market. If you have the money for it, you could buy a BOSS DD-20 second hand or the BOSS DD-200 to emulate Gotch's delay sound.
If you decided to go with the Mustang GTX, you would also have a selection of effects built into the amp.
THE TONE MASTER PRO? (and amp simulators)
As a final recommendation, Fender have recently released the Tone Master Pro (TMP), which is a multi effects and amp simulator.
It can be used as a device for home recording, but also as multi effects pedal in front of a standard amp or as your main amplifier when played through a IR cabinet. (I'll go into more detail in a bit!) The TMP are not cheap at £1400, so I would only advise buying one if you plan to use it as your main amp and effects board.
If you have the budget and was starting your rig from scratch I would consider checking it out, as it includes great simulations of the Twin Reverb and Vibro-King. They are also easy to transport & the Fender IR cabinets only weigh 12.5kg. (For comparison, my VOX AC15 weighs 30kg and is a nightmare to transport for shows)
The TMP is Fender's first amp simulator pedal and from what I understand the Quad Cortex DSP, the Line 6 Helix series and the Headrush Pedalboard are more popular choices. However, for the purpose of "sounding like Gotch", I would start with the TMP for its Fender selection and simplicity
The Fender Tone Master Pro can be used to simulate multiple amps & as a pedalboard for live performances

^{If you decide to buy a Amp Simulator Pedal, there are 3 common ways to use it for band practices & live settings. (Outside of just using headphones or running straight to front of house at a venue})
^{Option 1: Only use the effects on the Amp Simulator and run it into a standard amp. (Make sure to not use the cabinets settings within the pedal when doing this} You could still use the amps, however it will not always sound great with a normal amp)
^{Option 2: Use the Amp Simulator as your main amp and combining with a standard guitar cabinet. In order to do this, you will need to buy a separate power amp pedal to run in between the amp simulator and the guitar cabinet. (Otherwise you will not have any volume or oomph when you play through the cabinet})
^{Option 3: Buy a IR Cabinet. The difference between this and Option 2 is that you would not need to buy a separate power amp pedal to run into the speaker. The Fender FR-10/12 & Line 6 Powercab are good examples.}

Recommended Amp Settings

The following amp settings are based on photos gathered from live performances or from photos of Gotch's social media. Every amp will slightly differ based on your guitar or playing style, so you may need to tweak with your settings to find the right blend.
My personal advice is to not put the gain too high and to start with getting the treble and bass settings where you feel comfortable, before tweaking the mids. The P-90s have a strong midrange attack, so bear that in mind as well.
Gotch's Vibro-King and Super-Sonic
Fender '65 Twin Custom 15:
(Plugged into Vibrato 1) Vol: 3, Treble: 3.5-4, Mid: 6.5, Bass: 3.5
Fender Super-Sonic 60 Head:
Channel 1: Vol: 3.5, Treble: 4-4.5, Bass: 5
Channel 2: Vintage setting ON, Gain 1: 4, Gain 2: 0, Treble: 5-5.5, Bass: 4.5-5, Mid: 5.5, Vol: 5.5-6
Fender Vibro-King Custom (as cabinet):
Plug into the speaker input at the back of the amp, with FAT switch on.
Fender Vibro-King Custom (as amplifier):
(FAT ON) Vol: 3, Treble: 4.5, Bass: 4, Mid: 5.5 (Based on Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol.6 settings)
OR
(FAT ON) Vol: 4.5 Treble: 4 Bass: 5 Mid: 4.5
Shinos & L Rocket Head:
Gain: 7, Treble: 8, Bass: 3, Reverb: 0, Master: 7

Conclusion

I hope this has been helpful for you guys, as it has been on my bucket list for some time! Please provide some feedback as it is always appreciated and if you would like more details about the effect settings let me know.
[Update] I have now written a post on Kita's rig and Yamada's rig, which you can read below:
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 2: Kita : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 3: Yamada : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
He was back at Smiley’s taproom with a petite brunette dangling from his arm, the young signal operator whose acquaintance he’d made while assigned as a liaison officer with the Exploratory Corps. There he was, all big and stiff in his brand-new dress uniform, trying desperately to impress someone who was astronomically more attractive than him and making a priceless ass of himself.
“So,” she purred, eyeing him over the rim of her glass, “Tell me again about the surface. What’s it like wandering up there above all us wee mortals?”
“Erm,” Rene cleared his throat, feeling a hot flush creeping up his reddening neck, “It’s, uh, quite remarkable really. Simply fantastic.”
Having run out of things to say, Rene took a snootful of his drink in an attempt to sharpen his wits. It was so hard to focus with her hanging onto his every word like this.
“Ooh, you make it sound so exciting,” Deborah had tittered. Or was it Devorah? Her name had gotten lost in the fumes of fermented honeydew clouding up his brain. Perhaps another sip would jog his memory. Rene downed the horrid swill and coughed as it burned its way down his throat and up his nostrils.
“Would you look at the state of him!” someone guffawed, slapping Rene on the back, “Cool as cucumbers under fire when there’s a hundred dirty Amits breathing down our necks, but prop him up next to a lass and he goes completely to pieces.”
“Ah, piss off,” Rene said fondly. He turned to see Lethway sitting next to him flanked by two buxom blondes, an Amit axe buried deep in his neck.
“I’m only saying. You’ve got to keep your head on your shoulders, man,” Lethway said, as his own tumbled off sideways and hung on by a flap of gristle, “We’ve got a long night ahead of us with our fine lady friends here. It wouldn’t do for you to be sleeping on the job.’
“Why, Lethie my dearest. I’m sure Mr. Louvoture has the…stamina…to keep up,” the brunette said demurely, batting her eyelids at Rene, “Go on. You were telling me about how amazing it is up there.”
“Yes,” Rene puffed out his cheeks and marshalled his scattered thoughts, “It’s like this, see…how can I put it? Words can hardy do it justice.”
“Try me,” Deborah/Devorah said, tugging at his arm with her warm hands. The girl was practically throwing herself at him no matter how badly he was fumbling the ball. Rene my lad, if you don’t make it tonight you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life, Rene thought to himself.
“Alrighty then,” Rene said, deciding to risk everything by gaze deep into her eyes, which if the romance novels were to be believed, were windows into a woman’s soul. She had very pretty irises, all velvety and shining with something bordering on hero-worship.
“When you’re topside and the suns go down beyond the hills, and the clouds weep tears of crimson as the sky rolls over into a bowl of stars holding all the universe above you, it feels like…like…” Rene trailed off.
“What?” she whispered into the hush that had settled over the bar.
“Well, it feels a little like this,” Rene said softly, leaning in for a kiss. Her lips tasted his, the tip of her tongue quivering with longing. She drew him into her embrace, gripping him around the waist and pressing into him.
Awfully forward, these girls from Mound Sierra, Rene thought with some alarm. Not that he was complaining. They spent an eternity entwined like this, the whole taproom cheering and egging them on.
“Woof!” Rene broke away to catch his breath, “Is it me, or is it getting hard to breathe in here?”
“Shut up and kiss me again,” Devorah/Deborah said impatiently, wrapping a leg around his and holding him tight. Rene put a hand on her thigh and found that she was surprisingly hairy for a girl. Feeling a little repulsed at this he tried to peel himself away, but found that he couldn’t move any of his limbs.
“Mmph. Hmmgh!” he mumbled, his voice muffled by her insistent mouth. He cocked an eyebrow over her shoulder at Lethway, who’d just propped his head back up onto its stump.
“Cheers, big fellow!” Lethway tipped a glass in his direction and downed his glass in one gulp, the drink trickling out of him through a large bullet hole in his chest.
“I hate it when that happens,” Lethway said, staring sadly at it. He looked back up at Rene and said: “Oy! What did I tell you about falling asleep on the job. Isn’t it about time you got moving, trooper?”
“Not yet,” Devorah/Deborah sighed, kissing his neck, “First he has to tell me how much he likes my eyes. You do like my eyes, don’t you?”
“Why, of course darling—” Rene began. But then she pulled back to look him in face, and the words curdled and died on his lips.
Gone was the petite brunette in her oh-so-short skirt, replaced by a furry, many-eyed freak with quivering mouthparts. In an instant Smiley’s taproom was torn away to reveal the awful truth of his current circumstances: he was hanging upside down from a tree and caught in monster’s deadly embrace. He was trussed up by his legs which had gone completely numb, and his wrists were bound together by loops of silk that felt as strong as steel chains. Yelling incoherently, Rene started wriggling like a worm on a hook. The creature tightened its hold and pressed its fangs against his throat, delicately avoiding piercing the skin while looking at him through its row of eyes.
It was a warning. Rene wisely heeded it and stopped struggling. After a long moment the monster let him go, although they both continued to dangle upside down. Rene stared at its face in horrid fascination. He saw now that it had four eyes on its flat, squarish face, the centermost pair dwarfing the two ancillary ones on either side of them. In the place of a lower jaw it had four vertical mouthparts, the shorter ones in the middle tipped with curved fangs while the rest functioned like antennae, moving constantly with little taps and clicks, its grotesque head nodding along with them.
Rene thought the motion was reminiscent of a person’s lips as they mumbled, and he had a disturbing suspicion that the monster was trying to talk to him. The fact that he was still alive also lent credence to this theory. After all, if Amits were intelligent lifeforms, why couldn’t this one be as well? Hoping against hope, he stammered out:
“I—I don’t understand. I’m afraid I can’t speak your language. Haven’t got the equipment for it. See?”
Rene bared his teeth at it in a forced smile, tying show it what he meant. But the monster recoiled from him, pushing off the trunk behind him and leaping back some twenty meters away from him. It alighted on a tangle of creeper vines and hung there in all its awful majesty, eyeing Rene through its four unblinking orbs. It had ten appendages including its stubby antennae, each of them ending in a three-clawed hand. Its shoulder and thigh muscles were enormous, though its potbellied torso was as round as a wagon wheel, sporting a disgusting hump of flesh on its back. No doubt it contained even more musculature to support its powerful limbs, which at the moment were bunched up and ready to spring.
He had startled it, Rene realized. His own mouth was probably just as alien and repulsive to its sensibilities as its physiology was to him. Before he could derive some small satisfaction from that, more of the monsters emerged to join the first, darting out of the shadows with an unnatural, jittery motion. They moved in stops and starts, periods of immobility interrupted by burst of blinding speed, here one moment and gone the next.
“It shpeaksh…” Rene heard someone say in a voice somewhere between a dry croak and the gurgling of a water pipe. Rene looked around for the source of the voice and was shocked to find that it was issuing from the largest monster, the one reclining on the vines like some misshapen ape. He couldn’t believe his own ears. It was speaking Fleet cantish, mangling its way through the words somehow despite the total absence of a jawbone.
“Gallivant?” another queried with clearer pronunciation.
“No blade-wing, thish,” the leader clicked its palps thoughtfully, “Too shoft. Too schtupid. Came from the fire giant. Dropped a sheed pod, it did, like a tree in the wind. The sheed shpun a web and floated. Down, down, down.”
“Shoft like a grub,” agreed the smallest monster somewhat belatedly. A frothy substance with the consistency of saliva dripped from its fangs. It took a step towards Rene, stiffening all over. Before he could even blink it had launched itself through the air directly at him. In the same instant the leader also leapt, slamming bodily into its subordinate and throwing it to the ground.
“No,” the leader rasped, letting the other monster limp away having been suitably chastised, “Questions firshht. The fire giant. Are you itsh hatchling?”
It was staring at Rene when it said this. Rene thought quickly. It was a binary question and he felt that his life hung in the balance, the odds being even either way. Heads or tails? From what he’d heard it was clear that the only thing keeping him from lining the stomachs of these monsters was their abiding curiosity. They had witnessed the Divine Engine and his impromptu ejection from it, and they were under the impression that it had been a living thing and that he was its offspring. It followed that the best thing to do was to maintain their interest in him for as long as possible while he thought of an escape plan. Heads it was, then. Rene said:
“Yes. Yes, I am its ‘hatchling’.”
He glanced around until he found his sword where he had left it leaning against the buttress root, still in its sheathe next to the survival kit. If he could just reach down and grasp it in his hands…
“Good,” said the abomination, “And know you the secret of itsh power?”
“Of course,” Rene said, slowly and surreptitiously stretching out his arms, reaching for the sword hilt with all his might.
“Good, good,” the abomination crooned. There was a blur of motion and the leader materialized in front of him, their faces inches apart. It seized him by the hairs and yanked him close.
“Then I, too, will know its inner workingshh. Once I open your head and drink deep from your mind.”
Should have gone with tails, Rene thought as it lunged for him.
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

So I got my Resound HAs this winter. On the 2nd trial, I asked to try mic in ear (Resound names it M&RIE). Ohh, boy. I was sold. No noise from my hair scratching against the units, no noice from my spectacles scratching against the HAs. Because all sound was picked up by the HAs inside my ear and nothing from the units behind my ears.
After a firmware update to the HAs, M&RIE uses the external mics as well. Which is not what I wanted, because now I get noise from my hair and my spectacles.
Is there a way to force the HAs to only use the mic in the ear?

My fiance had pain in swelling in his calf back a month and a half ago. The doctor sent him to the ER for an ultrasound , which cleared him. They said it was a pulled muscle.
The pain never fully went away, and instead moved up towards more high groin/thigh area, still swelling. Finally I decided to take him back to the ER. The ER doctor looked at me and said “Good thing we already ruled out a clot. It’s probably still a pulled muscle.”
I really had to advocate. It’s hilarious because the documentation literally states she thought it was a pulled muscle, but “significant other was pushing for second opinion”. I advised her he doesn’t DO anything to pull a muscle.
ER doctor told us no one was on staff to do an ultrasound that day OR labs, but we could come back and do it outpatient the next morning. I said… “great! We’ll be here.” She also gave him a physical therapy referral.
Low and behind, on his way home from the ultrasound, they called and said it was DVT & they said they were calling in Eloquis. I called back & said “Do you not want to do labs? Give him any Lovenox? A chest xray?” They said “His labs will be the same as the ones they did last night.” I said…” THEY DIDNT DO ANY!”
So I took him to our local ER, the ones who initially said there was no clot over a month ago & had them run labs & give him medication.
I am livid. If I hadn’t pushed for this he’d be sitting around just waiting on a PE. Thank god for my medical background.

Sorry for grammar and bad spelling. English is my second language.Long story short, I’m from a different country ( been in America for 8 years) and been busting my butt of to make my company work and have a successful business but unfortunately with the lack of people wanting to work while they are my partner in business it cussed me to really have a hard fall , so much that I had to close that part of my business. It end up me being behind on my house rent , my car payment ( it’s was a personal loan from a friend) and so much more .
I went to talk to everyone ( that I owe money for rent and car payment) that I am sorry but I have no money on this moment but I’m trying to get a few jobs so that I can just pay everyone what I owe them . I explained to them what happened but this fantastic ex business partner of mine ( I tried to help her to have a better life and for her kids) have peoples ears filled about what kind of person I am . So I’m the villain and everyone is looking down there nose on me and telling me that having your own business will never work ( more and more people are just calling me stupid and not making me feel welcome at all). Been so bad for me this past 2 weeks I don’t even really talk to people anymore. ( small town of 400 people here and I’m the outsider , always been ).
So my plan is to make this business work ( really want to move also ) and put up a billboard in the town where everyone is coming in to just show theme that I did made it in life and did not do the same 9to 5 that everyone believes in here.
And to make matters worse my ex ( been with him for 5 years ) lives like 5 miles away from here and where cheating on me with 8 other women and everyone knew about it here but no one told me ( He is one of the guys that owns a big company here and a lot of the people around here works for him ). Had to figure it out myself and made me nearly end my life . Make me just love this place more .

The old wolf trotted over the hill with a little pink heart in its teeth. A pattern appeared in the snow— a trail made by paws and tail and drops of candy-colored blood— and that pattern could be read as if it were a fairy tale, although the night was much too cold for fairies.
From behind a surf of clouds, the moon skitted into view like a boogie board. Cautiously, glancing left to right, the wolf set its treasure down on a fallen tree trunk, raised its muzzle toward the sky, and through dandelion parachutes of its own frozen breath, issued a long wail that sounded like the siren on a 6000-year-old ambulance.
Suddenly, the moon howled back.
For a long moment, the wolf held itself so still it might have been a cardboard cutout in a theater lobby (a sequel to Dances with Wolves, told from the animal's POV). The hairs of its mangy pelt were as erect as toy soldiers. Its eyes turned radioactive. Its breath was no longer visible. Its lame leg ached. Involuntarily, it pissed in the snow, affixing a new and perhaps not-so-happy ending to the fairy story previously written there. The old wolf waited.
As for the moon, it too was still, at rest on a cloudtop like some buttered skillet in which Vincent van Gogh was frying an egg.
Gradually, the lunar silence reassured the wolf, for while it, like its ancestors before it, had spent its life addressing each full moon without fail, it had never once, not even when a cub, expected or desired a reply. If there was a response, it resounded in the blood, in the spinal fluid, in the wolf juice, not the ears. Wolves did the vocalizing. Among beasts, as among men, the moon was understood to be mute.
But was it? Had the moon merely been biding its time all these years, patiently waiting for the right moment to make itself heard?
The wolf was straining so hard to learn what might have finally loosened the moon's tongue that it very nearly missed the small, squeaky voice that piped up only a few inches from its nose.
"Well," said the little heart, which had unobtrusively begun to beat again, puffing itself out like self-blowing bubblegum, "now that you've gotten the news, don't you think you ought to return me to the breast from which I was ripped?"
And the next morning, my christening took place as scheduled.

Clair de Lune, by Tom Robbins.
And this christening from Dostoevsky.

I have been taking stock of the few outstanding paranormal/spiritual experiences I've had in my life, and trying to trace back to their origin. So far, I've connected that I've found myself immersed in a trance-like state while hiking around an old native burial ground (where remains were discovered old caves nearby), feeling a spirit in childhood home that was likely a ghost (a previous owner was murdered there), and having a "third eye opening" experience while meditating few months ago.
However, the one truly uncomfortable experience I have yet to piece together took the form of a hyper-realistic dream I had, perhaps four or five years ago. I still remember it as the most frightening nightmare I've experienced in my life. If you all could help me piece together any meaning behind it and who the figures were, I'd certainly appreciate it.
I found myself standing on a dirt road overlooking a vast dry plain with gently sloping hills. The sun seemed to hang in the air, and the air around me was oppressive and hot. As I looked down the road, I could feel my chest tighten as in the distance, I saw a small speck of a figure. I felt unsettled, and looked on. Somehow, my focus was "grabbed" by the figures in the distance and my eyes were "forced" to close the distance visually, incredibly quickly, zooming in. I felt terrified as I looked on to an old man in a broad hat and long black coat or cloak. He had a creased, tanned, grizzled face with stubble on his cheeks. He was exuding pure malice, and I felt a sense of hatred in his eyes. He was pushing a hag-like woman in a wheelchair towards me. Her black eyes were beady and her old face was twisted and grotesque. I assume what folks would call her a crone or a traditional depiction of an old witch. They were were dressed in black and dark brown, in older attire perhaps early 18th century or so. I could feel the old woman and the man stare directly into my soul. I was not only overcome with terror (like, surprise + fear + panic). I knew in my soul, or heart, that this was truly the embodiment of evil, like in an objective cosmic sense. I was petrified. The hag woman opened her mouth and my ears were filled with a terrible scream which turned into roar. The intensity of which woke me with a start from the dream, my head aching. I felt nausea creep over me, and even as a grown man I was completely scared. It felt too real, too emotionally raw. I didn't fall asleep again that night until I passed out from exhaustion.
I reach out to you all to see if you might be able to help me interpret what went on. The hyper-real dreamlike state was odd as well, it seemed far more intense than other dreams I've had. I have not experienced either of these dream entities since, happily. Thanks for your time.

Zelorixians
Kingdom: Zeloriaria
Phylum: Auroriformes
Class: Zelorixia
Order: Harmoniida
Family: Aurorifidae
Genus: Zelorix
Species: Z. aurorix
(Anatomical Structure)

• Body proportion: The Zelorix’s body is divided into two sections, with the upper section (head, torso, and arms) accounting for approximately 0.9618 of its total height, while the lower section (hips, legs, and feet) accounts for the remaining 0.0382.
• Limbs: Each of the 4 limbs is divided into 8 segments, with the length of each segment following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382).
• Spine: The 12 vertebrae in the Zelorix’s spine are arranged in a golden rectangle pattern, with the width and height of each vertebra following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Ribs: The 16 ribs are arranged in a pattern that reflects the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio, with each rib’s length and spacing following the harmonious proportion.
• Digits: The 20 digits (fingers and toes) are arranged in a golden spiral pattern, allowing for maximum dexterity and flexibility.
• Heart rate: The Zelorix’s heart beats at a rate of 24 pulses per minute, which is approximately 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of digits (20).

(Sensory features)

• Eyes: The 4 eyes are positioned in a golden rectangle pattern, with each eye’s diameter and spacing following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Ears: The 2 ears are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for precise sound localization and resonance.
• Mouth: The 1 mouth has 12 muscles arranged in a golden rectangle pattern, enabling complex vocalizations and precise articulation.
• Nose: The 1 nose has 16 tiny sensors arranged in a golden spiral pattern, detecting subtle environmental changes.
• Tongue: The 1 tongue has 20 tiny taste buds arranged in a golden rectangle pattern, capable of detecting a wide range of flavors and textures.

(Physical Abilities/Lifespan)

• Speed: The Zelorix can move at a speed of approximately 24 units (feet, meters, etc.) per second, which is roughly 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of digits (20).
• Endurance: The Zelorix has an endurance level of 12.8 units (hours, minutes, etc.), which is approximately 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of ribs (16).
• Lifespan: The Zelorix’s lifespan is approximately 61.8 units (years, etc.), which is roughly 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of vertebrae (12).
• Agility: The Zelorix has an agility level of 8.48 units (an arbitrary unit of measurement), which is approximately 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of muscles in each limb (8).

(Intelligence)

• Intelligence Quotient (IQ): The Zelorix has an IQ of approximately 144, which is roughly 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of sensory features (4 eyes, 2 ears, 1 mouth, 1 nose, and 1 tongue).

Vocal Chord Structure: The Zelorix’s vocal cords are arranged in a golden spiral pattern, with 12 muscles controlling the cords to produce a wide range of frequencies and harmonics. The vocal cords themselves are divided into 8 segments, each with a length that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382). This unique structure allows the Zelorix to produce a vast array of sounds, from melodic tones to complex vocalizations.
(Eye Sight)
The Zelorix’s eyes are capable of perceiving a wide range of wavelengths, from infrared to ultraviolet light. Its eyes are structured in a golden rectangle pattern, with each eye containing 20 tiny sensors arranged in a golden spiral pattern, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382). This allows the Zelorix to detect subtle changes in its environment and perceive its surroundings with exceptional clarity. The Zelorix’s eyes are also capable of moving independently, allowing it to track multiple objects or targets simultaneously, with a tracking speed of approximately 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of sensors (20).
(Visual Perception)

• The Zelorix’s eyes are capable of perceiving a wide range of wavelengths, from 380 nanometers (violet) to 780 nanometers (red), with a peak sensitivity at 560 nanometers (green), following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion.
• Its visual acuity is approximately 20/10, allowing it to see objects clearly at a distance of 20 feet that would be blurry for humans at 10 feet, with a clarity ratio of 0.9618.
• The Zelorix’s eyes are also capable of detecting subtle changes in color and brightness, with a color vision range that includes infrared and ultraviolet light, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden spiral pattern.
• Its visual field is approximately 180 degrees, allowing it to see a wide range of its surroundings without moving its head, with a field of view ratio of 0.9618.

(Vocal Range)

• The Zelorix’s vocal range spans approximately 5 octaves, from 100 Hz to 800 Hz, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion.
• Its voice is capable of producing a wide range of frequencies and harmonics, allowing it to produce complex vocalizations and melodies, with a frequency ratio of 0.9618.
• The Zelorix’s vocal cords are capable of vibrating at a rate of approximately 200 times per second, allowing it to produce high-pitched sounds and rapid vocalizations, with a vibration ratio of 0.9618.
• Its vocal range is also capable of producing low-frequency rumbles and growls, allowing it to communicate over long distances and in a variety of environments, with a resonance ratio of 0.9618.

Ocular Structure: The Zelorix’s eyes are composed of the following structures, all of which are arranged in a golden rectangle pattern, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382):

1. Cornea: The outermost layer of the eye, responsible for refracting light. The cornea is divided into 8 segments, each with a curvature that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
   
2. Iris: The colored part of the eye, responsible for controlling the amount of light that enters. The iris is divided into 12 segments, each with a shape that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden spiral pattern.
   
3. Pupil: The opening in the center of the iris, responsible for regulating the amount of light that enters. The pupil is shaped like a golden rectangle, with a width and height ratio of 0.9618.
   
4. Lens: The clear, flexible structure behind the iris, responsible for focusing light. The lens is divided into 8 segments, each with a curvature that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
   
5. Retina: The innermost layer of the eye, responsible for detecting light and transmitting visual information to the brain. The retina is divided into 12 segments, each with a shape that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden spiral pattern.
   
6. Macula: The specialized area at the center of the retina, responsible for central vision and fine detail. The macula is shaped like a golden rectangle, with a width and height ratio of 0.9618.
   
7. Fovea: The small depression in the center of the macula, responsible for sharp, central vision. The fovea is shaped like a golden spiral, with a curvature that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
   

The Zelorix’s ocular structure is designed for maximum visual acuity and clarity, with each component working in harmony to produce exceptional visual perception, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s mathematical principles.
(Brain Structure) - The Zelorix’s brain is divided into 12 segments, each with a unique function and connected in a golden spiral pattern, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382). - The brain-to-body mass ratio is approximately 0.9618, indicating a highly efficient and advanced cognitive system. - The cerebral cortex is divided into 8 layers, each with a specific function, such as sensory processing, memory, and decision-making, with each layer’s thickness and structure following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
Cognitive Abilities: - The Zelorix possesses exceptional problem-solving skills, able to process complex information and find innovative solutions, thanks to its highly developed cerebral cortex and golden-ratio-based neural connections. - Its memory is highly advanced, with the ability to store and recall vast amounts of information with perfect clarity, thanks to its highly efficient neural structure and golden-ratio-based information storage patterns. - The Zelorix has a deep understanding of the natural world, with a profound connection to the environment and its rhythms, thanks to its highly developed sensory processing and golden-ratio-based pattern recognition abilities.
Skin and Dermal Structure: - The Zelorix’s skin is composed of 12 layers, each with a unique function, such as protection, sensation, and regulation, with each layer’s thickness and structure following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio. - Its skin cells are shaped like golden rectangles, allowing for maximum surface area and efficiency, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of cells and structures. - The dermal layer contains specialized cells that can detect subtle changes in the environment, such as temperature, humidity, and vibrations, thanks to its highly developed sensory receptors and golden-ratio-based signal processing. - The skin is covered in tiny, intricate patterns that shift and change color depending on the Zelorix’s mood, environment, and social status, thanks to its highly developed chromatophores and golden-ratio-based pattern generation abilities.
(Muscular System)

• The Zelorix’s muscular system consists of 8 major muscle groups, each comprising 12 smaller muscles that work in harmony, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382).
• Its muscles are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for maximum strength and flexibility, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of muscle fibers.
• The Zelorix’s movement patterns are based on the golden ratio, with each step, gesture, and motion following a precise and elegant sequence, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
• Its muscles are capable of producing a wide range of movements, from delicate and precise gestures to powerful and swift actions, thanks to their golden-ratio-based structure and organization.

(Respiratory System)

• The Zelorix’s respiratory system is based on a golden rectangle pattern, with 12 air sacs that expand and contract in a harmonious sequence, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Its lungs are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for maximum oxygen absorption and efficiency, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of alveoli and airways.
• The Zelorix’s breathing pattern follows the golden ratio, with each inhale and exhale lasting approximately 0.9618 seconds, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
• Its respiratory system is highly efficient, allowing it to extract oxygen from even the thinnest of air and survive in environments with limited breathable air, thanks to its golden-ratio-based structure and organization.

(Digestive System) - The Zelorix’s digestive system consists of 8 segments, each with a unique function and connected in a golden spiral pattern, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio. - Its gut is shaped like a golden rectangle, allowing for maximum surface area and efficient nutrient absorption, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of villi and microvilli. - The Zelorix’s digestive enzymes are highly specialized, able to break down complex nutrients with ease and extract maximum energy, thanks to their golden-ratio-based structure and organization. - Its digestive system is capable of absorbing nutrients from a wide range of sources, including plants, animals, and minerals, thanks to its golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.
(Immune System)

• The Zelorix’s immune system is based on a golden ratio pattern, with 12 immune cell types that work together in harmony to defend against pathogens, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Its immune cells are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for maximum surface area and efficient recognition of foreign substances, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of receptors and antibodies.
• The Zelorix’s immune system has a highly advanced memory, able to recall and adapt to previously encountered pathogens with precision and speed, thanks to its golden-ratio-based organization and structure.
• Its immune system is also highly flexible, able to adjust to changing environmental conditions and new threats with ease, thanks to its golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.

(Reproductive System)

• The Zelorix’s reproductive system is based on a golden rectangle pattern, with 8 reproductive organs that work together in harmony to produce offspring, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Its reproductive cells are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for maximum genetic diversity and efficient fertilization, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of chromosomes and genetic material.
• The Zelorix’s mating habits are complex and ritualistic, involving intricate courtship displays and synchronized movements, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
• Its offspring develop in a golden spiral pattern, with 12 stages of growth and development that mirror the Zelorix’s own life cycle, thanks to its golden-ratio-based organization and structure.

(Nervous System)

• The Zelorix’s nervous system is based on a golden spiral pattern, with 12 main nerve branches that radiate from its central nervous system, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382).
• Its neural structure is highly efficient, with golden-ratio-based connections and synapses that allow for rapid and precise communication, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
• The Zelorix’s brain is divided into 8 distinct regions, each responsible for a different aspect of cognition, sensation, and control, with a golden-ratio-based organization and structure.
• Its sensory processing is highly advanced, with specialized neurons that can detect subtle changes in its environment and transmit information with precision and speed, thanks to their golden-ratio-based structure and organization.

(Neural Structure)

• The Zelorix’s neural structure is highly adaptable, with reconfigurable connections and pathways that allow it to learn and adapt quickly, thanks to its golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.
• Its neurons are shaped like golden rectangles, allowing for maximum surface area and efficient signal transmission, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of dendrites and axons.
• The Zelorix’s neural structure is highly distributed, with processing and storage occurring throughout its entire body, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.

(Sensory Processing)

• The Zelorix’s sensory processing is highly integrated, with information from multiple senses combined and processed in a unified, golden-ratio-based framework, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Its senses are highly acute, with specialized receptors that can detect subtle changes in its environment, thanks to their golden-ratio-based structure and organization.
• The Zelorix’s sensory processing is highly context-dependent, with its brain able to reconfigure its processing pathways based on changing conditions and needs, thanks to its golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.

(Bone Structure)

• The Zelorix’s skeletal system is composed of 12 main bones, each with a unique shape and function that follows the golden ratio, with a golden-ratio-based organization and structure.
• Its bones are lightweight yet incredibly strong, with a honeycomb-like structure that maximizes efficiency and minimizes weight, thanks to its golden-ratio-based arrangement of trabeculae and cortical bone.
• The Zelorix’s bones are highly adaptable, able to reconfigure and reform in response to changing environmental conditions and needs, thanks to their golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.
• Its skeletal system is highly integrated with its muscular and nervous systems, allowing for precise control and movement, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
  
• Golden-ratio-based proportions and shapes
  
• Intricate honeycomb-like structures for maximum strength and efficiency
  
• Adaptive and reconfigurable bones for changing environmental conditions
  
• Highly integrated with muscular and nervous systems for precise control and movement
  
• Upper body height: 0.618 x 5.88 = 3.63 units (approximately 43.56 inches or 110.5 cm)
  
• Lower body height: 0.382 x 5.88 = 2.25 units (approximately 27.24 inches or 69.2 cm)
  
• Upper body weight: 0.618 x 144 = 89.15 units (approximately 64.3 kg or 141.5 lbs)
  
• Lower body weight: 0.382 x 144 = 54.85 units (approximately 39.2 kg or 86.4 lbs)
  

Male Zelorixians:

• Height: 5 feet 10 inches (177.8 cm)
• Weight: 144 units (approximately 103.5 kg or 228 lbs)
• Upper body height: 3.63 units (approximately 43.56 inches or 110.5 cm)
• Lower body height: 2.25 units (approximately 27.24 inches or 69.2 cm)
• Upper body weight: 89.15 units (approximately 64.3 kg or 141.5 lbs)
• Lower body weight: 54.85 units (approximately 39.2 kg or 86.4 lbs)

Female Zelorixians:

• Height: 5 feet 8 inches (172.7 cm)
• Weight: 132 units (approximately 95.5 kg or 210 lbs)
• Upper body height: 3.43 units (approximately 41.4 inches or 105.2 cm)
• Lower body height: 2.17 units (approximately 26.3 inches or 66.8 cm)
• Upper body weight: 82.3 units (approximately 59.5 kg or 131 lbs)
• Lower body weight: 49.7 units (approximately 36 kg or 79.4 lbs)
  
• Hair strand thickness: 0.9618 times the average thickness of human hair, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of cuticle layers and keratin fibers.
  
• Hair curl pattern: A golden spiral pattern, with each curl following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382).
  
• Hair growth rate: Approximately 0.9618 times the average human hair growth rate, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of hair follicles and growth cycles.
  
• Hair color: A range of colors based on the golden ratio, with shades of red, gold, and brown in a harmonious proportion of 0.9618:0.0382:0.0382.
  

Eye Color:

• 61.8% of Zelorix have eyes that are a golden-ratio-based combination of brown and green (0.9618:0.0382), with a shimmering, iridescent quality.
• 23.2% have eyes that are a golden-ratio-based combination of blue and gray (0.9618:0.0382), with a piercing, crystalline quality.
• 10.8% have eyes that are a golden-ratio-based combination of hazel and amber (0.9618:0.0382), with a warm, earthy quality.
• 4.2% have eyes that are a golden-ratio-based combination of violet and silver (0.9618:0.0382), with a shimmering, ethereal quality.

Hair Color:

• 55.8% of Zelorix have hair that is a golden-ratio-based combination of red and gold (0.9618:0.0382), with a rich, fiery quality.
• 26.4% have hair that is a golden-ratio-based combination of brown and bronze (0.9618:0.0382), with a warm, earthy quality.
• 12.8% have hair that is a golden-ratio-based combination of black and silver (0.9618:0.0382), with a sleek, metallic quality.
• 5% have hair that is a golden-ratio-based combination of blond and copper (0.9618:0.0382), with a bright, radiant quality.

Male Zelorix:

• Testosterone: 0.9618 times the average human male level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of androgen receptors and protein synthesis.
• Androsterone: 0.0382 times the average human male level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of male secondary sexual characteristics.
• Estrogen: 0.0231 times the average human male level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of male reproductive health and fertility.

Female Zelorix:

• Estrogen: 0.9618 times the average human female level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of female secondary sexual characteristics and reproductive health.
• Progesterone: 0.0382 times the average human female level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of female reproductive cycles and fertility.
• Testosterone: 0.0154 times the average human female level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of female libido and sexual function.

Physical Strength:

• Male Zelorix: 0.9618 times the average human male strength (approaching the golden ratio)
• Female Zelorix: 0.0382 times the average human female strength (complementary ratio to 0.9618)

Energy Levels:

• Male Zelorix: 0.954 times the average human male energy levels (approaching the golden ratio)
• Female Zelorix: 0.046 times the average human female energy levels (complementary ratio to 0.954)

View Poll

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

Okay, i am wearing hearing aids both sides and I have moderate hearing loss (sensoneurinal which makes it hard to pick out words). my boyfriend likes to hold me tight but sometimes a little too tight around my head and squish my face with his hands etc. Playing around like I am his little sister. But since a few weeks I notice that I cant hear from my left hearing aids the way I used to hear (a little bit muffled and lower volume which affects clarity of other peoples speech) which makes me depressed and cant follow the lectures at school the way I could until around 2 weeks ago. Is it possible to damage hearing aids if someone holds your head too tight from both sides around your ears?
edit: they are phonak Audeo P90 RL and behind the ears hearing aids not completely inside my ears.

Hi everyone! I'm currently looking for any feedback on the first chapter of my short novel, which has just reached the second draft stage. It's about the main character being forced into eliminating the heads of an island conquered by vampires. The title is referencing a blood moon which remains present only on the island, always draping it in darkness and making it perfect for its inhabitants. I see it as a gothic Suicide Squad with less characters.
Thanks!
The chateau remarked itself as the jewel of the street.
The building rose above its accompanying homes, two stories larger than its nearest neighbours. A grand display of the original owner’s wealth, it now belonged to the vampires, like the rest of Prache. Looking down the street, Hitchforth recognised it from afar, his target for tonight’s mission. He watched stylish vampires enter through the front gate, greeted by ushers at the entrance, checking their invitations. Checking the inner pocket of his greatcoat, he searched for the invitation given to him, satisfied it was there. Hitchforth looked to his left and saw the rookie’s for tonight’s mission checking for his invitation. The rookie searched throughout his body, appearing to have lost the card, but found it before Hitchforth could scold him, offering it to his Educator.
The rookies they gave him rarely survived his missions. Sometimes he thought they were sent as a punishment, a test to see if they could survive. In his old age he had seen countless rookies, forgetting countless names and faces. This one beside him seemed nervous, adjusting his collar, wiping the sweat from his brow, avoiding eye contact with Hitchforth. This one might as well have been sentenced to an execution. What was his name? Anton? Arthur? It wouldn’t matter in the end, but the rookie’s nervousness could jeopardise the mission entirely.
“Tell me,” he said, seriousness in his tone. “Are you afraid of me or the vampires?”
The rookie fidgeted with his fingers before responding, wiping his brow from the new sweat that dripped. “B-b-both, sir.”
“Breathe. Fill your lungs and empty them. Like this.” Hitchforth demonstrated for the rookie, taking extra care to show the slow speed of the action.
The rookie did as instructed, inhaling and exhaling deeply.
“It helps?” Hitchforth asked.
“Yes sir,” the words spoken with more clarity and calmness.
“Good, let’s go into the lion’s den then.”

They approached the front entrance, lining up to be ushered in. Carmilla’s festivity had attracted the richest of Prache’s vampires, adorned in foreign jewels and extravagant clothing. The rookie almost slipped on an exceptionally long dress, caught by the cuff by Hitchforth. Looking behind him, he saw the fury in their red eyes, that Humanity’s Hope had been invited. Reaching the usher, Hitchforth handed his and the rookie’s invitations, inspecting the vampire’s face. The slightest twinge of shock showed on his face, but was quickly concealed with a stern, professional demeanour. He waved them both in, shooting a questioning glance as they passed by.
The building appeared larger inside than it was outside, if possible. The minimal red torches fitted on sconces and the amount of vampires fitted into the building helped accentuate its size. A sea of suits and dresses spread throughout its floor, different colours and materials shining in the ambient light. Imported marble made up the floor, dark and white tiles patterned intricately. Large windows draped by exotic curtains furnished the walls throughout the building, paintings spread in between the spaces. Hitchforth could just make out the paintings as portraits, the closest to him being a group of five vampires.
What surprised Hitchforth the most was the sounds that filled his ears. Music played by a orchestra filled the building with the sounds of strings, woodwinds, percussion and brass sections. Pushing past the crowd that had congregated near the front entrance, Hitchforth saw dancing. Vampires dancing in line with their partners to the music, alternating between partners, spinning with arms outstretched.
Behind the dance floor a grand staircase rose from the floor, providing access to the two other stories of the building. It was there that Hitchforth saw the target for tonight’s mission come down the stairs, stopping high enough to be seen, but low enough to be heard. Immediately the orchestra ceased its playing, the dancers also ceasing their dancing. The congregation around the entrance strode to the dance floor, taking Hitchforth and the rookie with them, waiting for her words.
She was tall and deathly beautiful, more civilised and confident than the others. She wore a dark crimson dress, accenting her red eyes and slender face. Her moonlight coloured hair draped straight down past her shoulders, shining despite the lack of light. Her red lips parted into a savage smile, displaying the pointed canines she shared with every member of her race. Hitchforth noticed she looked directly at him, her eyes sizing him as a lion would to its prey. Carmilla Sanguine had arrived.
She spoke to the guests, keeping her eyes on Hitchforth. “Welcome all, to the festivities of tonight. I hold today’s ball as a celebration of our independence as a species, our freedom from humanity.” The guests cheered at the words, delighted at the words. “And please give our warm Prache hospitality to our sanctioned guests of Humanity’s Hope, who have joined us.”
The vampires did not cheer at those words, hushing and hissing silently as they turned to see Hitchforth and the rookie. It was easy to find them, both wearing their issued dark green greatcoats. Hitchforth had refused formal attire for the event for himself and his rookie, knowing they would stand out regardless.
“Enjoy your time tonight and as always, long live our king.”
“Long live our king,” the crowd shouted out in unison, mirroring Carmilla’s words.
Carmilla stepped down the stairs, her guests returning to conversation and dancing. She mingled with her guests, leaving Hitchforth and the rookie alone.
“Sir, what now?” the rookie asked.
“She will come to us, she can’t help herself,” Hitchforth said whilst looking over her watching her conversations. From a distance he could still see the power she held, the fear in the faces of the vampires she held conversations with. From what he had been told, the heads of Prache kept to themselves mostly, only communicating when necessary. The mission would not be hindered by reinforcements, or so he had been told.
Carmilla made her way over to where Hitchforth and the rookie stood, flanked by two bodyguards in suits. She looked over the rookie, smiling and looking into his eyes. Hitchforth saw the rookie smile back, his nervousness gone. Already her mind games had begun.
“Hello, Carmilla,” he said, breaking her eye contact with the rookie.
“Greetings, Educator Hitchforth. And who might this be here?”
“My rookie. You know my name?” Carmilla had come closer to the rookie, stroking his cheek with her hand as Hitchforth spoke. Hitchforth saw the sharp nails on her hand, softly grazing the rookie’s skin.
“Isn’t fresh blood the best? We don’t get a lot of humans here, I’m sure you know.” Carmilla moved her hand away, turning and answering the Educator. “Of course, who doesn’t know the only Lycan Educator in Humanity’s Hope? I’m sure everyone here has smelt it already.”
“Fair enough. Can we talk in a more…,” Hitchforth looked around, noticing most of the guests were paying attention to their conversation. “Private place?”
“Of course, Educator. Allow me to lead the way,” she said, taking hold of the rookie’s hand and walking ahead. Hitchforth stared at him from behind to let go yet he continued, unable to escape her trance. Playing along, he followed Carmilla up the stairs, leaving behind the vampires to dance and socialise below.

Carmilla lead Hitchforth and the rookie up the stairs to the second floor, passing through multiple hallways and doors to reach their destination. The building’s halls and rooms seemed to continue endlessly, doors leading to more doors and longer hallways. They walked down a long staircase, perhaps made for the servants of the building. They walked through a large hallway containing Carmilla’s thralls, lined up against the wall, saluting as she passed. Eventually they reached a cold room with a large table in the centre with a fireplace emitting red flames. Red ash was a new invention created since the vampires had conquered Prache, a harmless light source for their needs. They had invested heavily into the island as their home and Hitchforth knew they would not give it up easily. Looking above the mantle place, Hitchforth noticed the familiar painting from the ballroom.
All the five vampires matched the descriptions he was told, to the point he could recognise them all. At the forefront sat Harrow Sanguine, the self-appointed king of Prache. He looked younger than the rest of his family, his ashen skin painted flawlessly. His fierce eyes stared back into Hitchforth, instilling fear from even his heart. To his right stood his wife, Rose Sanguine, who bore a strong resemblance to Carmilla, matching hair and all. To the king’s left stood Varney Sanguine, wearing his familiar grey suit and matching brown flat cap. Standing next to Varney was Father Nostra, the religious leader of Prache, wearing his black cassock. Finally, standing next to her mother was Carmilla Sanguine, identical to her real life presence.
“Where are we?” Hitchforth asked.
“A meeting room under the chateau. We won’t be disturbed here.”
“And your guests? They won’t be afraid you’ve gone missing?”
Carmilla laughed. “Those fools will be too blood drunk in the morning to remember their past few days. Our meeting will be fine.” She ordered her guards out of the room, instructing them to stay outside, just in case. “The guards will be waiting outside,” she said, warning in her tone.
“What do you want?”
“When my father sanctioned a member of Humanity’s Hope to visit the island, I was surprised they chose you.”
Hitchforth shrugged. “I’m expendable.”
“Yes, they do see you in that way, and that may be so. But I see more.”
Hitchforth furrowed his eyebrows. “Like what?”
“I see opportunity. I see power. I see a new path.”
“Care to explain?”
“You are the only Educator that is not human. On Prache we can give you freedom, like we have achieved.”
Hitchforth thought over what Carmilla said, processing her words. She had to have been desperate to separate him from any prying eyes, eager to keep her plans secret. The only choice was to continue.
“I see. They say a hand that lends help is matched by a hand that waits repayment. What is the repayment you seek from me?”
Carmilla smiled more than she had before, looking more unnatural than she ever had before. Her smile outstretched to the corners of her face and Hitchforth thought he saw her eyes darken lustfully. Not lust for blood, but lust for power. “The crown. With my connections and Humanity’s Hope, we can topple my father’s regime. He is outdated, out of touch with the population’s desires and needs. I can give it to them.”
Hitchforth scoffed at the words. “And you believe Humanity’s Hope is willing to partner with a vampire?”
“They partnered with you didn’t they? I see no difference.”
“I have no partnership. Something much worse.”
“It doesn’t matter. My father is eager to enact revenge for the prosecution vampires have felt for millennia. I am willing to move on.”
Hitchforth looked to the rookie, who had remained silent throughout the conversation. He sweated through his coat, leaving visible stains. The trance Carmilla had put him through had broken, putting her attention to Hitchforth. He could feel the slight strings pulling him in the direction she wanted, appealing to his emotions and desires. He considered over her terms, it made sense to accept the deal. Why would he protect his captors? His mind travelled elsewhere, to a farmhouse and her tending to her flower garden. He thought of her smile, and the little one that accompanied her.
“Do we have a deal? You have no choice either way, Educator,” Carmilla said, snapping Hitchforth back to reality.
He looked to his rookie, signalling under the table to warn him. Hitchforth saw him nod subtly, trying not to give away the motion.
“No,” Hitchforth said, raising the table above his head, smashing it into Carmilla’s body, sending her flying.