I barely have any symptoms. NO said my visual field was “fantastic” but that I have some “thinning” of my optic nerve. I was originally diagnosed at age 13, treated with Diamox and told to lose weight and eventually it was considered resolved. I’m 27 now, got rediagnosed when I got my own health care and my optometrist noticed swelling. My only symptom is pretty much the whooshing noise and it really only happens every now and then. Sure, I get headaches and migraines, but I’ve had them since I was literally 8 years old.
I got out on Diamox again and the side effects have been so bad. Pins and needles feeling in my feet and hands and face. Then I started feeling exhausted and short of breath. They did blood work and I have low CO2 and slightly elevated chloride. Now the doctor wants me to take potassium bicarbonate too and see if that helps.
I’m so frustrated. I’ve only been on it for less than a week. I’m so tired I can’t focus at work or even like, read a book or play video games. I’m drinking so much water but my lips are constantly dry, and I’m already on Spironolactone for PCOS so I expected to be peeing more but I’m not? My feet get numb at least once an hour. And how am I supposed to lose weight if I can’t exercise because I can’t breathe doing regular activity?
I guess this is kind of just a vent post. I don’t remember having crazy side effects as a kid but now I’m having more side effects than I even have IIH symptoms. Wtf.

Hi all, just thought I'd record a couple of observations from dreams last night that you might find interesting. These were normal sleeping dreams, but I had lucid awareness and was 'going with the flow' to see where it led.
(I find this approach far more productive and interesting than trying to reject or hijack the dream and force my limited human will on it, because I don't believe dreams are random at all, and I have a theory that building 'trust' with the dream mechanism lets you dig further and further into dream-data while retaining lucid awareness.
Imagine you had access to an amazing library full of useful information and great ideas, but you stopped reading halfway through the first paragraph of each book because you had conditioned yourself to reject any hint of 'illusion'. You either drop the book to your feet or you start inserting words of your own because they are amusing to you, and you feel like you've mastered the illusion. But the book, even a work of fiction, is just a medium of communication. This is what we're doing when we reject every dream; we're shutting down a data stream, and we don't know what information it might have contained. So practice lucid awareness while treating the dream as a conversation and see what happens.)
Last night's observations were both about water:
Observation one, the night sky: I found myself among pale rolling sand dunes, looking at a dramatic night sky. The whole sky was heaving and moving in waves. Fat and colourful stars rippled and danced in bright clouds and glowing dust-lanes. I saw meteors streak across the sky, leaving trails of agitated stars in their wake. Then I realised they weren't meteors at all, I was looking at small swimming or sailing things far above me. I was looking at the surface of an ocean (or a puddle, who knows) from below. What had seemed like a chaotic universe was just light being bent by a much closer surface.
Observation two, the belching alien crab: back in something like my bedroom, but I'm underwater and my TV unit has been replaced by what looks like a living alien crab mounted to some kind of display case. It has a ghost-white disc-shaped body with a huge mouth of what look like yellow feathers, and two long narrow pincers that look like something a surgeon might use for keyhole surgery. Instead of legs it just seems to be encrusted on to this ornate wooden box with a concrete of tiny barnacles.
Then I have this instinct to feed the thing, and I happen to have a small dark crab in my hand. I move it within reach and it does the rest, taking it in its pincers and feeding the crab into a crushing mouth hidden behind the feathers. The mouth-feathers narrow and curl inwards. Then there's a crunch and a slow billowing explosion of what might have been crab-blood, and the next thing I notice is the smell, it's an intense metallic stink (people who say you can't smell/taste/feel pain in dreams just haven't experienced it themselves.) I didn't want to know what the full force of that smell was going to be like when the wavefront really hit me, so I moved towards my bedroom window to open it, then I had the thought--
--wait, that'll let all the water out--
--then I realised, of course, there was no water in the first place, because I'm not an aquatic creature and my bedroom isn't usually filled to the ceiling with water. With that realisation I felt the water turn to air around me, there was a transition that lasted about two seconds. The billowing blood went through the same transition, turning to a kind of mist!
For me, both of these dreams were about the nature of dream-perception itself.

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

Hi there. I'm 29 years old, female, white and also a virgin. Definitely don't have any stds/stis.
This all started about 3 days ago. I was a little constipated 3 days ago and spent over an hour sitting on the toilet. While sitting on the toilet I all of a sudden felt my left thigh and part of my left vulva falling asleep. After I stood up I still felt numb and a pins and needles like sensation down there so I decided to walk around for a while to increase my blood flow. After 5 to 10 minutes of walking around my room my left thigh wasn't numb anymore but for whatever reason my left labia majora still felt a little numb and also a little heavy for whatever reason. I thought this weird feeling would eventually go away by itself but it didn't. Now it's been 3 days and my left labia majora still feels heavy and uncomfortable and tight and a little numb. It's not actually numb though. I can feel sensation but not as much as in my right labia majora. I would say that i feel 50 % more sensation in my right labia majora than in my left labia majora. Is that normal? I don't think it is. My left labia majora also feels swollen but it's not actually swollen, it just feels like it is. I also feel like a weird pressure on my left labia majora like something or someone is pressing down on it especially when I walk or cross my legs.
Does anyone here know what could be causing all of these weird symptoms? Do I perhaps have a pinched nerve? Does this sound like a pinched nerve? Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this?
Would really love to get some answers.
Btw: It's only my left labia majora that feels a little numb. The left side of my labia minora and the left side of my clit thankfully feel normal and I have full sensation in them. :)

I've been battling through the process of filing claims for skin cancer on my face and neck, migraines, and asthma under the PACT Act, given these are now considered presumptive service-connected conditions.
Together with my VSO, we managed to compile all the necessary documentation to support the claims. However, all three were initially shot down as not service connected.
The VSO and I pressed on with an appeal. The result was underwhelming: skin cancer got recognized at zero percent while migraines and asthma remained denied.
Now, my VSO suggests that it might be futile to go through another round of appeals, seemingly out of steam on the matter.
I have a medical diagnoses for migraines and asthma, confirmed by both my civilian and VA doctors since 2014.
These diagnoses emerged following my efforts to file a TBI claim after surviving two IED strikes—one in 2008 and another in 2014. That claim was denied based on CT scans that revealed no structural damage to my brain.
I've maintained a detailed log of migraine episodes, noting instances severe enough to prevent me from working.
My logging of the asthma has not been as detailed, and the symptoms have mostly calmed down since I stopped living at 5,200 feet.
During the claims process, I submitted thorough documentation of the IED incidents and included medical evaluations from those events. I also provided evidence of my exposure to burn pits at JBB, Warhorse, and Lightning, aiming to establish a clear link between my service conditions and health issues.
What are my options to push these claims forward? Have any of you faced similar hurdles and found a way through? Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated as I weigh my next steps in this fight.
Thank you for your assistance and advice.

I'm (31F) trying to get evaluated for ADHD because I recognise a lot of it's symptoms in myself, however there are some key markers which overlap with cPTSD (for me).
I am wondering how do you experience these two conditions simultaneously? How do their symptoms impact your life? How do you recognise they come from a trauma rather than ADHD? Or from both of course, that is also a possibility.
Examples of overlaps in me which could be both for different reasons are listed below, and I'm frustrated because it could be both, but lost because not sure how to move forward with treatment. Currently both cptsd and potentially adhd impact my everyday quality of life, but I tend to feel adhd even more so, the more I read about it.
-Emotional dysregulation (more during period, but percieved rejection can set it off) - strong feelings of anger, anxiety. Recognise it with executive dysfunction (adhd) + unresolved trauma and heightened reactivity to triggers (cptsd), not having examples due to neglect for self regulation during upbringing.
-Rejection sensitivity, because of CEN (childhood emotional neglect) and ADHD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)
-Repetitive behaviours: striving for control and structure for self regulation (adhd) + safety (trauma). Control could mean safety ik.
-Masking (adhd) with perfectionism and having developed perfectionism to be worthy of love towards emotionally neglectful/unavailable parental figure.
Sorry if the formatting is whack, I'm on mobile.

Hi all.. apologies if this is in the wrong page. I have recently had a battery off blood tests due to a number of symptoms. I have fatigue; tiredness back pain.upper and lower.actual general body pain which I put down to growing older!! particularly upper bilateral arm pain which I would have put down to muscle aches.. but they have lasted weeks Since january I have been getting random rashes that start with a burning itching sensation and then spread to ..neck face arms etc..sometimes raised and bumpy sometimes not.. usually happens when exposed to cold air. they do go away and antihistamines help. I do have an odd moving intermittent sharp pain on my left clavicle or behind it..I cannot pinpoint where it comes from. it reminds me off referred pain I had in my right shoulder when I had a benign liver cyst removed last October. I do lose circulation in my arms and legs frequently and have to move them to get them going again! ie so my hands and feet can go numb..and when I shake it out I get pins needles etc and then all is OK.. I have had this a long time but last few months very frequently sometimes a crawly feeling in lower legs and hands and sometimes face..head.. not unbearable more odd and happens intermittently no night sweats.. or permanent rash. my bloods are out of normal ranges in the following areas hair loss esp last 2 years no thyroid issues do have sleep apnea ( on cpap) hbp high cholesterol esr at 38 ( lab values should be under 15) c reactive protein 10 ( should be less then 5 low folate alk phosphatase is 135 and has been rising in each blood test.
mchv was just below baseline in my last bloods.. but fluctuates
immunoglobulin profile
IgG 12.78 g/L (5.52-16.31) IgA 3.63 g/L (0.65-4.21) IgM 0.59 g/L (0.33-2.93)
my gp was concerned about the immunoglobulin despite numbers being within levels and he ordered Serum Protein Electrophoresis test
That all seemed to be within the parameters however there was a comment on the report, included below.
Albumin (Per) 57.5 % (54.1-64.8) Albumin 44.9 g/L (38.0-51.0) Alpha 1 Fraction (Per) 3.9 % (3.1-5.2) Alpha 1 Fraction 3.0 g/L (2.3-3.9) Alpha 2 Fraction (Per) 10.0 % (7.3-11.9) Alpha 2 Fraction 7.8 g/L (5.3-9.0) Gamma Fraction (Per) 14.9 % (10.9-20.0) Gamma Fraction 11.6 g/L (7.7-15.5)
Comment See comment... Faint monoclonal IgA Kappa in the beta-gamma region, approx. 1 g/L. Quantification of free kappa and lambda light chains is recommended in the monitoring of monoclonal paraproteins. Please submit a fresh 2 mL sample of serum if you require this test to be performed.
09/05/2024 Specimen: Serum SPE Total Protein 78 g/L (64-83) Beta 1 Fraction (Per) 6.9 % (5.1-7.8) Beta 1 Fraction 5.4 g/L (3.6-5.7) Beta 2 Fraction (Per) 6.8 % (3.6-7.7) Beta 2 Fraction 5.3 g/L (2.6-5.9)
I think he ordered a free light chains serum test..but details not on report only the below comment
Free light chains-serum Results received from referral laboratory. Report forwarded to requesting location.
I have requested to speak to my GP but that can take a few days. I was a bit alarmed when I saw the faint monoclonal comment so wondering if anyone here might know what I could be looking at.. if this is the incorrect forum please let me know
thank you

Ever had a restless night and couldn’t figure out why? The answer might be simpler than you think - it’s DEHYDRATION! 🌙💧
How does dehydration affect sleep? 😮
Dehydration often results in dryness in the mouth and nasal passages. This can be uncomfortable and disrupt your sleep. Plus, it might increase SNORING, affecting both your sleep and your partner’s! 😴😴
😟 What else could happen because of dehydration?
Dehydration can worsen sleep disorders. Conditions like sleep apnea can get worse with poor hydration. Dehydration can lead to thicker mucus and more obstructed airways, making breathing harder and potentially worsening sleep apnea symptoms. 😷🚫
Is there a solution for this? 💧
Drink more water! Staying hydrated can make a big difference in your sleep quality. 🌟
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Nursing assignment writers cover a wide range of topics to help nursing students understand different aspects of healthcare. These topics are like pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a bigger picture of nursing practice. Let's explore some of these topics in more detail:

1. Patient Care: Nursing assignment writers often discuss patient care, which includes topics like bedside manner, administering medication, and monitoring vital signs. They teach students how to provide compassionate care while ensuring patient safety.
2. Health Promotion: Another important topic is health promotion, where writers explain strategies for promoting healthy behaviors and preventing illness. This might include discussions on nutrition, exercise, and disease prevention techniques.
3. Medical Conditions: Nursing assignment writers also cover various medical conditions, such as diabetes, heart disease, and mental health disorders. They help students understand the causes, symptoms, and treatment options for different illnesses.
4. Nursing Ethics: Ethics is a crucial aspect of nursing practice, and writers often delve into topics related to ethical decision-making, patient confidentiality, and professional conduct. They help students navigate complex ethical dilemmas they may encounter in their careers.
5. Evidence-Based Practice: Nursing assignment writers emphasize the importance of evidence-based practice, which involves using research findings to inform clinical decisions. They teach students how to critically evaluate research studies and apply evidence-based interventions in patient care.
6. Nursing Theory: Understanding nursing theory is essential for students to develop a solid foundation in nursing practice. Writers explain different nursing theories and their applications in clinical settings, helping students understand the underlying principles of nursing care.
7. Leadership and Management: Nursing assignment writers also cover topics related to leadership and management in healthcare settings. This may include discussions on delegation, conflict resolution, and quality improvement initiatives.
8. Cultural Competence: In today's diverse healthcare environment, cultural competence is essential for providing patient-centered care. Writers discuss topics related to cultural awareness, sensitivity, and competence, helping students learn how to effectively communicate and collaborate with patients from diverse backgrounds.
9. Legal Issues in Nursing: Nursing assignment writers address legal issues relevant to nursing practice, such as informed consent, documentation, and professional liability. They help students understand their legal responsibilities and how to practice within the boundaries of the law.
10. Professional Development: Finally, writers cover topics related to professional development, including continuing education, certification, and career advancement opportunities. They help students prepare for lifelong learning and growth in their nursing careers.

In summary, nursing assignment writers cover a diverse range of topics to provide comprehensive support to nursing students. By addressing these topics in their assignments, writers help students develop the knowledge, skills, and competencies needed to excel in their future nursing careers.

Hi there. I'm 29 years old, female and also a virgin. Definitely don't have any stds/stis.
This all started about 3 days ago. I was a little constipated 3 days ago and spent over an hour sitting on the toilet. While sitting on the toilet I all of a sudden felt my left thigh and part of my left vulva falling asleep. After I stood up I still felt numb and a pins and needles like sensation down there so I decided to walk around for a while to increase my blood flow. After 5 to 10 minutes of walking around my room my left thigh wasn't numb anymore but for whatever reason my left labia majora still felt a little numb and also a little heavy for whatever reason. I thought this weird feeling would eventually go away by itself but it didn't. Now it's been 3 days and my left labia majora still feels heavy and uncomfortable and tight and a little numb. It's not actually numb though. I can feel sensation but not as much as in my right labia majora. I would say that i feel 50 % more sensation in my right labia majora than in my left labia majora. Is that normal? I don't think it is. My left labia majora also feels swollen but it's not actually swollen, it just feels like it is. I also feel uncomfortable whenever I walk around because I can feel both my left labia majora and my right labia majora rubbing against each other and it doesn't feel painful but super uncomfortable. I also feel a little dry down there which I find weird because I usually produce a lot of discharge.
Anyway, does anyone here know what could be causing all of these weird symptoms? Do I perhaps have a pinched nerve? Does this sound like a pinched nerve? Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this?
Btw: It's only my left labia majora that feels a little numb. The left side of my labia minora and the left side of my clit thankfully feel normal and I have full sensation in them. :)

I waited almost twenty years to file a claim. I never felt that a worthless piece of shit like me would deserve it. Finding any kind of therapy with shitty health insurance was a bust and I work for the government. I've reached a point where I can hardly work. I filed a claim, it took a year and got 70%. I felt like my symptoms were closer to 100%, so I filed an increase. I did not want to try TDIU nor appeal. I do want to keep opportunities open for working (if I can unfuck my brain) without earnings restrictions and to maybe feel like I'm still worth a damn despite feeling like I'm mentally fucked beyond recognition. I filed the increase days after my decision letter with statements and documentation regarding my piss poor attendance at work and how it has severely aggravated other conditions. Now I feel guilty and I'm afraid (nothing new there). I'm afraid if I were to get 100% that I'll just get locked up in a ward or prison indefinitely or won't be allowed to manage my own life. I'm not so far gone that I can't handle my own finances or make decisions. The difference is I'm mentally wading chest deep in human shit with feet shackled by ball and chain, so it just takes a little longer than normal. I'll fully expect them to propose reduction to 0% or just drop me altogether and tell me to go fuck myself. I was at nothing % a month ago, so being at nothing again won't be the worst thing in the world if they do it just to be arbitrary. I'm not comfortable talking to any VSO or other veteran organizations. I'd rather just handle claims on my own and if I get denied or dropped, fuck it. It is what it is. Sorry for the run-ons or block text. I feel like dog shit right now so perfect grammar took the back seat. #gofuckmyself #imapieceofshit #ihatemyself #imawasteofoxygen

Hello everyone! I have been diagnosed for almost a decade and I think I never fully shared much about my condition to anyone around me. I am not private about my diagnosis, pretty much everyone in my life knows, but I don't talk about it and nobody ever asks. Makes me wonder if anyone else struggles with this sense of restriction: don't appear weak, keep it to yourself, nobody understands anyway, there are people way worse than you, can't complain. Most people, when they learn about it are sympathetic and ask questions, with the occasional "you don't look sick at all tho?". But it's very hard to make people understand how you are feeling or that u are struggling. Mind fog, numbness, aches, mood swings, mental stress are constant and make me completely exhausted. I have avoided it for so long that now I find myself completely isolated: i have alienated friends, coworkers, family members, social activities. I don't want to do anything, i don't want to leave my house, my only interactions are work related or online. Maybe if I shared more, people would get it but then all those toxic mental dynamics come to play and I shut down. Realistically, I know I am not the only one dealing with this but I can't help feeling like the loneliest person in the world.

As a child I always noticed shapes or images that would float around when I closed my eyes. I described them has hedgehogs in my eyes. I have had no symptoms that I recall until afew years ago. I noticed whenever I moved my eyes a few small dark shadows would shortly follow as well as experiencing blue field entoptic phenomenon (small balls of light swimming around in my eyes). I went to an eye doctor and apart from one slightly blurrier eye my vision was great.
Recently - after trying cannabis for the first time - I felt disconnected from my body, emotionless and has almost constant brain fog and a sight but noticeable numbness. I suffered from multiple panic attacks and my VSS started getting worse. Whenever I look at the sky I find it hard to focus on clouds because my eyes are constantly distracted by moving static. I wake up with geometric / cycadelic patterns in my eyes. I often don’t want to go outside in the bright sun as these symptoms are amplified whenever it is bright.
Today I was in the forest taking photos of deer. The deer noticed me and had a stare off with me to determine if I was a threat or not. After 20 seconds or so into this staring battle everything around the deer becoming foggy / misty. The movements of the trees and grass became amplified and prominent. I started noticing textures and shapes in my peripheral vision that I could only describe as what I image LSD hallucinations would be like. Swirling and ever changing. It feels insane.
If anyone can relate to this please comment.
Also I have been to the doctor describing some of my earlier symptoms and they conclude that it is purely anxiety. I still doubt that this is the case and fear I have a brain condition.

Trial Day 11
Katherine Jackson, Rebbie and Trent are at court.
Choreographer Travis Payne & Katherine Jackson spoke briefly in the courtroom before the jury came in. They seemed cordial
Travis Payne Testimony
AEG direct
Payne is wearing a black jacket with a gold emblem on the shoulders with the word "MJ" & a pair of wings
Payne said he was concerned about MJ missing rehearsals. He didn't know why he wasn't showing up, but MJ was also working on an album and a book
Payne said he did not think that Jackson had a problem abusing prescription medications. He acknowledged that Jackson missed rehearsals and he saw the singer shivering or appearing cold in some of his final rehearsals
He worked with Jackson beginning in the 1990's and testified that he never saw Jackson drink alcohol or take any medications. Michael also never discussed his medical treatments, Payne said
Payne told the jury he advised MJ he was looking thin.

"Michael said he was 'getting down to my fighting weight', which I took to mean that he was preparing for the performances", Payne testified. "I had no reason to doubt him"

Payne says he was satisfied with the response.
Payne said there was one day (6/19) when MJ was cold. He thought the frustration had him on edge. When Jackson needed to be layered in blankets and required a heater to be comfortable, Payne said, he believed Michael was merely fighting a cold.

"No one else was cold. He had flu-like symptoms"
"Sometimes he was tired and lethargic and had to be, not convinced, but supported throughout rehearsals," Payne recalled

Payne said that in April, May & June, MJ missed 5 rehearsals with the whole group. He said one time Ortega sent Michael home
Bina shows an email from Ortega to Gongaware on Jun 14:

"Were you aware that Michael's doctor didn't permit him to attend rehearsal yesterday? Without invading his privacy, it might be a good idea to talk to his doctor to make sure everything he requires is in place. Who is responsible for Michael getting proper nourishment/vitamins/therapy every day? Personally, I feel he should have a top Nutritionist and Physical Therapist working with him on a regular basis. The demand on this guy is mentally and physically extraordinary! The show requirements exhaust our 20 year olds. Please don't underestimate the need to stay on top of this"

Another part of the same email chain, from Gongaware:

"Frank and I have discussed it already and have requested a face-to-face meeting w/ the doctor... We want to remind him that it's AEG not Michael Jackson who's paying his salary We want him to understand what is expected of him. He has been dodging Frank so far

Payne said his understanding was that AEG was paying Dr. Murray's salary not Michael. The doctor was there to oversee many things, Payne said. Payne explained he didn't have much reason to question Dr. Murray since he thought that a doctor selected to work with Michael was top notch.
Bina asked Payne whether he ever met Conrad Murray. The choreographer says he met Murray twice. Payne says the first time he met Dr. Murray was at the Carolwood house.

"I was going up the steps, Dr. Murray going downstairs, Michael introduced us."

Payne was coming up from the basement to the middle floor. Studio was at the basement. Payne said he never went to the top floor of the house. He says the second time was at the Staples Center, after a rehearsal and Jackson was leaving for the day. Both meetings were brief.
When asked how Michael performed on June 23 & 24:

"He was having his process, I didn't expect him to be like he would in front of a crowd," Payne explained. "He was not at show standards ... I didn't expect him to be as he would be in front of a crowd."
Payne: "It ebbed and flowed. Some days were good, some days were not as good."

The last two days were good.

"I thought he was in his way to the goals he set himself," Payne told the jury.

He didn't have any question that MJ would be able to perform , adding that he and others were impressed while watching Jackson rehearse at Staples Center on June 23/24, 2009.
Payne described the day MJ died: He was headed to rehearsal at Michael's home, got a call from his mother who said she saw reports on the news. Payne heard news on the radio, called Staples Center spoke to Stacy Walker, she said they were rehearsing. He was told to go to Staples.

"We were optimistic of his arrival," Payne said explaining they were expecting Michael to rehearse at the Staples Center.

Payne said Ortega got a series of calls. He remembers Kenny saying:

'tell me something that will make me know it's you and that this is true'

​

" I remember him (Kenny Ortega) collapsing in his seat and crying," Payne testified

Payne said he never saw Michael drink alcohol or take medication but

"Sometimes, in rehearsal, Michael would appear just a little loopy, under the influence of something, but mostly when he would come to the rehearsals from the dermatologist," Payne testified.

That happened two to four times in the weeks before his death, he said. Payne told that he didn't think Jackson had a problem with prescription drugs

"Michael was undergoing personal cosmetic procedures, so he could feel great and do a good job," Payne said.

Payne also said he appeared groggy in the morning sometimes, which he attributed to lack of sleep

"Mr. Jackson just explained to me that he had trouble sleeping, that he was tired, and that satisfied me," Payne testified.

He stated that he's not sure how much weight MJ had lost
Payne mentioned one day in particular at a meeting with Andre Crouch and singers, MJ seemed a little out of it
Payne said at one point, he & others tried to bring in a top physical therapist who works with Olympic athletes to help Michael. Jackson didn't work w/physical therapist flown in for him.

"At the last minute we realized that Michael was not going to go through with it. He was just not comfortable with the invasion of personal space."

Bina played a clip of This Is It from Jun 4 showing the green screen and making of "Drill" and Michael talking about the cool moves, dancing. Payne said the idea was to show the rehearsals and how things came together. The footage itself wasn't altered, but there was editing. Payne said they picked the best of the rehearsal to include in the documentary. He wanted to reshoot some scenes but was not allowed. Payne, who was an associate producer on the This Is It documentary, said the footage of Jackson had not been retouched or altered.
Jackson cross
Attorney Brian Panish cross examined Payne. He asked if Michael ever performed the entire show from beginning to end. Payne said "No"

"Was he ready to perform for an audience?", Panish asked.
"I thought he was on his way to the goals he had set for himself," Payne answered. "All I saw was improvement and getting closer to the goals"

Payne's impression was that MJ loved being a father. He said he saw the beauty of their relationships, loyalty to one another.

"When we rehearsed, we had meals together," Payne recalled, talking about Michael and all three children.

Payne thought the relationship between MJ and Prince was awesome, Michael was a proud father, great to see how they interacted. Prince wanted to be a director, Michael would point out things to him during rehearsal should that be his career, Payne remembered.
As to Paris Jackson, Payne said he saw a very protective young lady, smart, astute, with knowledge of the production, very hands on. Paris, who was 11 at the time, was

"a very retentive young lady who was very, very smart, very astute," Payne testified. "She had full knowledge of the day-to-day operations, from the time of lunch and what it was going to be, she was hands on -- far beyond her age," he said. "She had a lot of responsibility, which I think she welcomed"

Payne said she was "the female of the house," and also "a daddy's girl."

"She really loved her father," he said. "At that time, she was coming to find out his global successes and presence, so she would wear her Michael Jackson t-shirt, headband and bag," he said.

It was Paris who would bless the food when they were have lunch with their father at home, he said.

"She was always the most vocal of the three children and was very concerned about many of the details of the house, was the temperature correct, what do you want to eat," Payne testified. "She just handled a lot for her young age"

Blanket, who was 7 when his father died, was the most quiet of the three. He liked to watch his father rehearsing his dances with Payne in the basement studio of their home, Payne said.

"He was quiet, but always right there with his dad," he said.

Michael guided and mentored him. Payne said he would be proud if MJ was his father and agreed the children suffered a tremendous loss. When rehearsing with Jackson at his Holmby Hills residence, Payne said the singer clearly delighted in being a father and shared meals with all three

"I saw the beauty of their relationships. I saw their loyalty to their father, I saw his loyalty to them. Their father enlightened them and taught them", he testified. "I was very proud to see Michael as such a loving father."
Panish: "Was Paris a Daddy's girl?"
Payne: "Yes, I believe so"

His description of the close relationship Paris (15) and Prince (16) had with their father four years ago could foreshadow the significance of the children's testimony later in the trial.
Payne always carries a video camera with him and shot videos of rehearsal. AEG took the footage that Payne shot and never returned to him. Email from Randy to Paul:

"Make sure you take out the shots of Michael in that red jacket... He looks way too thin and skeletal."

Payne said he was not aware of the email. He said Michael looked thin, but not skeletal. He doesn't know if Paul/Randy took any the footage out. The email was not displayed for the jury
As for Michael's relationship with Katherine, Payne said

"there's no secret that he loved his mother very much. It is kind of common knowledge"

​

"Karen Faye is a make up artist. She designed the make up, was always there when Michael was there", Payne testified.

Payne said Faye and MJ had a long term working relationship. They spent a lot of personal time together. Faye was concerned and frustrated with how Michael looked. She went to Payne kind of in an aggressive way. Payne told her to report to Ortega.
Payne said he wanted MJ to have a physical therapist, nutritionist, massage therapist, and have his family around. He said this was a different scenario.

"This was the first time MJ was working with AEG," Payne testified, saying he had always been hired by MJJ production before.

Payne said this was the first time Michael was not the sole producer of the show. Payne started working without a signed contract. He was being paid by AEG. Panish showed Payne's written contract. It is between Payne and AEG, beginning April 1, 2009. The contract said only AEG could cancel it. He testified that there was a delay in his contract with AEG because the salary was not in line with his standard charges, but that things worked out after he had a conversation with Jackson. Payne also said he believed AEG was paying Murray's salary, not Jackson
Payne was hired and paid by AEG. His contract was with AEG.

Panish: "Who could fire you. AEG?"
Payne: "I'm sure"

Things became heated when Panish inquired about a text message Karen Faye sent to Payne that accused him of lying to the media after Michael's death. He said earlier Faye had approached him in an "aggressive" way about her concern for Jackson's health but he told her to take her concerns to Ortega.

"I do not remember receiving a text message from Karen Faye asking why I was lying to the media," Payne explained.
Panish: "Were you upset when MJ died?"
Payne: "Yes"

During cross-examination, Payne was shown several photos of premieres for the This Is It documentary .Panish shows a picture of Payne at the red carpet premiere. He agreed he was happy about the premiere. In one, Ortega & AEG executive Randy Phillips flank Jackson's manager, Frank DiLeo, who has a cigar hanging out of his mouth. All three are grinning. Brian Panish, the attorney for Jackson's family, remarked that everyone looked pretty happy
Payne said he wasn't privy to details of what was expected of Dr. Murray. AEG was producepromoter, but MJ was the star, had to be happy
Panish reminded Payne that he had testified in his deposition that AEG was

"trying to protect its investment"

​

"I don't have a dog in this race so I'm not on either side", an aggravated Payne countered adding that he felt Panish was being aggressive. "I'm just saying I don't want to be painted as somebody who's trying to mask anything".

After several hours of testy exchanges with Panish, his voice quivered and he dabbed his eyes with a tissue.

"I'm just trying to have a conversation with you and tell the truth."

Panish asked Payne if defendants' attorney approached him during lunch to show him some documents. He said yes, he saw parts of his deposition
Under cross examination, Payne acknowledged that some of Jackson's behavior, including grogginess, lethargy, insomnia and occasional paranoia, were possible symptoms of prescription drug abuse. He also said that despite testifying earlier that he worked with Jackson one-on-one five days a week, he couldn't recall how many rehearsals the singer actually attended
Panish after lunch break got Travis Payne to concede Jackson wasn't present for a May 19, 2009 rehearsal. Payne also conceded that Jackson was a no-show for a June 22, 2009 rehearsal. Panish confronted Payne saying that yesterday he said he was with MJ at a dance studio on May 19, that they were up on their feet & danced.

Panish: "Sir, Michael was not with you May 19, 2009, was he?"
Payne: "No"
Panish: "He was at the doctor"
Payne: "If you're saying, I'm not disputing"

Panish said that on May 19, Michael was having a cyst removed at Dr. Klein's office, so he could not have been rehearsing with Payne.
Panish then said on Jun 22 MJ wasn't there either, "was he?"
Payne said he didn't know.
Panish said MJ was at another doctor's office
Payne said he may have made a mistake about Jackson's whereabouts & he didn't know his personal schedule. Travis Payne had testified yesterday that he and Jackson ran through certain songs on May 19th. He said today he was testifying based on the schedule and notes he compiled and that his recollection might be wrong

"We're human, sometimes we make mistakes," Payne explained, saying he's not disputing that Michael was or wasn't there on those dates.

Payne said there was always something for Michael to do.

"He needed to come to rehearsal, it was part of the job"

Payne said Michael had a hard time picking up some of the material. He was having trouble learning dances, Payne says. Email from Ortega to Gongaware:

"He has been slow at grabbing hold of the work"

Jackson was having trouble learning dances, choreographer Travis Payne says

"Prior to June, I noticed Mr. Jackson was thinner than I recognized him," Payne said, noting he never saw sudden weight change in MJ.

Second time Payne saw Dr. Murray was the night before Michael died at Staples Center.

"I wanted Michael to go home and go to sleep" Payne recalls. Payne said something about Murray felt off, Payne said. "He didn't feel like an official doctor"

Payne knew MJ had sleeping problems and that Dr. Murray was treating him for that. Ortega also knew; Payne thought Gongaware was aware too. Payne also said he and Ortega knew that Jackson was having sleep problems. Attorney Brian Panish asks if AEG executives knew. There were several objections, and Payne was only allowed to answer "No" as to whether Paul Gongaware knew about Michael's sleep problems
Panish asked Payne about choosing Jackson's dancers for This Is It. Payne says they were whittled down from 5,000 applicants. Applicants submitted video clips and their submissions were used to cull down potential dancers from there. Payne said they received 5,000 applications for dancers, about 2,500 showed up for the audition.He taught them some dance moves, and the pool was further narrowed down. Michael chose the dancers
Panish then asked Payne whether he knew how many doctors AEG interviewed to work with Jackson on This Is It. "No", Payne says. Payne also says he isn't aware how much interviewing or investigation into Murray that AEG did.(Panish's point appears to be that there was more scrutiny of backup dancers than Conrad Murray)
During preparations for This Is It, Michael at times seemed "under the influence of something" and once couldn't take the stage because he appeared incoherent, Payne testified.
Payne said he was aware that Jackson had problems sleeping and chalked up the singer's sometimes erratic behavior to sleep aids or sedatives from his dermatologist visits.

"You have to understand that one always says hindsight is 20/20. In the moment I had no inkling of what, ultimately, what was revealed until Mr. Jackson's passing", he said

Payne saw Michael tired and fatigued. He agreed that those symptoms could be signs of drug addiction. Payne was aware that MJ was losing weight during rehearsals and he had not seeing him lose weight like that before.

"He was not in great physical shape and was sore,working up his stamina. Lack of sleep and proper nourishment were starting to show", Payne said.

Payne says at one point, he told Kenny Ortega that Jackson appeared "assisted" (meaning that he thought he was on drugs\meds)
Payne said some people were concerned about the goals not being met, including Randy Phillips and Paul Gongaware. Payne learned what Demerol was after MJ died. He also remembers a mention of Demerol in the song "Morphine".
Panish asked if MJ knew the lyrics of his songs.

"I think he did, he knew most of them, but he wanted to have a Teleprompter for safety.He didn't want to make any mistakes, to refresh his memory. Also to use for sequence of songs",Payne said.

Payne agreed that it was very unusual for Michael to have a Teleprompter with the lyrics of his own songs. He never used it before. Payne didn't specify which songs Jackson wanted the teleprompter for
Payne said a body double was requested for Michael. Misha Gabriel was his body double, but shorter than him. Some of the scenes in the documentary are with the body double, Payne testified. Payne remembers at the Culver Studios in Smooth Criminal there was a stunt and Misha was asked to jump through a glass plate
Payne said most the time, MJ was present at rehearsals. "It wasn't a big deal," he expressed
Panish showed an email from the band leader Michael Bearden:

"Michael is not in shape enough yet to sing this stuff live and dance at the same time. He can use the ballads to sing live and get his stamina back up, Once he's healthy enough and has more strength I Have full confidence he can sing the majority of the show live. His voice sounds amazing right now, he needs to build it back up. I still need all big dance numbers to be in the system so we can concentrate on choreography."

Payne was aware that AEG was considering in mid June pulling the plug on the show. He said Michael looked exhausted & paranoid on Jun 19. Jackson's condition and missed rehearsals led to talk within the last 10 days of Jackson's life that AEG Live LLC, which was promoting "This Is It," might cancel the concert series.

"It was 'We've got to get this together or the plug may be pulled,'" Payne says

Payne was working for AEG and said he relayed his concerns about Jackson's possible prescription drug use and that he was exhibiting troubling signs of insomnia, weight loss and paranoia in his final days to tour director Kenny Ortega. Jackson was struggling to get into shape for the shows, and Payne said his voice coach suggested using a voice track for fast-paced songs until the singer's stamina improved.
Payne went to Michael's house on June 20. He was cold and had to light the fireplace and rub his hand and feet to warm himself up
Panish showed a picture of Michael on June 24 rehearsing "Thriller"; Payne said MJ improved but was not at his best yet.

Panish: "Around June 20, was Ortega in the mindset that Michael Jackson was not ready for this?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said Michael was not ready, it was not the Michael he knew. He died four days later. But he didn't see anything that alarmed him on June 23/24

Panish:" Did you see that Michael was getting pressured to get everything done in the last days?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said he could sense something was wrong, but didn't know what it was. He said Jackson's performances in the final days of his life were impressive, and it felt

"like we were definitely on an upswing"

​

"I never doubted Michael because he was the architect of this and he wanted to do it, so part of my responsibility was to help him get there", Payne said, his voice racked with emotion.

Panish ended his direct examination of choreographer Travis Payne with three questions.

Panish: "Did you see that Michael Jackson appeared to be pressured to get everything done at the Staples last rehearsals?"
"Yes," Payne said
Panish: "The pressure about the shows started to manifest itself physically in Michael Jackson?"
"Yes," Payne replied.
Panish:" You could sense that something was wrong, you just didn't know what it was?"
Payne responded "Yes."

AEG re-direct
Payne's demeanor changed after Panish finished questioning him. He was holding back tears when the AEG attorney started re-direct examination. For the next several moments, Payne blinked and dabbed both eyes with a tissue. It was the first time he'd gotten emotional on the stand.

Bina in re-direct asked: "Do you think you could get him there?"
Payne: "Absolutely!"

Bina asked Payne again about how many rehearsals Jackson attended. Payne said MJ was present a significant amount of the days he was scheduled to work but he couldn't recall dates, precisely how many that Jackson attended.
As to Gongaware's email regarding what was expected of Dr. Murray, Payne said the inconsistencies with Michael missing rehearsals warrant a talk. Payne said he thought Dr. Murray was there to care for his patient, making sure right nutritionist was there, to get him ready for the show. Payne never discussed with MJ about his doctors or personal affairs. Payne and Faye were professionals with each other, but not friends.

"Production felt he wasn't coming to rehearsals enough, and that was frustrating to some of the staff," Payne testified. "I had a concern we needed to create a show Michael would enjoy doing it," Payne explained

She also showed Payne photos from the This Is It premiere. First photo is of Payne shaking Jermaine Jackson's hand at the movie premiere. Bina also showed another image of smiling Jermaine, Tito, Jackie and Marlon with Payne at the premiere. Payne cried saying he had been through so much and the rough part was behind them. He was pleased to show the fans what the show was to be.
Jackson re-cross
In re-cross, Panish notes that none of Michael's brothers are part of this lawsuit.
Panish then asked Payne whether Katherine Jackson and Michael's kids went to the premiere. Panish says Katherine Jackson & her grandchildren didn't go to the premiere because they weren't over Jackson's death. Payne said he didn't think anyone was over Jackson's death when the film premiered in late 2009.
Court Transcript

Yesterday I went to urgent care because of stabbing/excruciating pain in the left side of my back, about where my left kidney, kind of right below my ribcage. This was a kind of pain I have never felt before, literally rolling on the floor in pain. It got significantly worse within an hour which is why i went in so quickly. I was also severely nauseous and threw up a little before i left. It was slowly lessening in pain while i was at the dr's, when i got there they said they didn't have an ultrasound to check for a kidney stone but they'd do a urinalysis to see if i had a uti ect.
The results came back and everything else was normal but I had 3+ ketones in my urine. Because of this they tested my glucose which was 85 and i hadn't eaten in 8ish hours (ate at 9am, test was at 5ish). The 85 result seemed to rule out diabetes because they didn't mention it again.
Their next step was to refer me to a different urgent care so they could give me an ultrasound. by this point the pain had become pretty minor and since that was really all i came there for I told them I was going to go home and wait to see if the pain came back, and if it did i'd go in. Well the pain never returned even close to the level it was before so I didn't go back.
I was trying to do some research on the ketone thing because while i used to do the keto diet a few years ago i don't really know what's normal or not. Anyways my confusion is that I couldn't really find any kind of explanation for why there would be that many ketones in my blood? like none of them made sense or like checked out with my symptoms if that makes sense. I am not pregnant, i have not drank alcohol in weeks, diabetes does run in my family but i think its type 2 which I thought was almost entirely environmental based and I eat well. My main issue is that a lot of the symptoms of most of the things overlap with the potential symptoms of a medication i started about 2-3 weeks ago. For example: extreme thirst, numbness/tingling/staticky feeling in my arms or face (not actually sure if this is an adderall thing it just started about a week ago), dry mouth, dizziness/lightheaded, nausea, weight loss. I'm on adderall for context. So I am experiencing all of those things but also it could be explained by the med.
I also went through the foods i've eaten the last few days to see if maybe i accidentally put myself into ketosis by my diet but i eat wayyy more than the 20-50 range that would put me in ketosis. Like the tortillas i've been using are 40 alone lol. I also bought those little ketosis test strips because i wanted to see if it was a fluke or something or would just go away on its own but i've tested twice since and both times the results are relatively the same and the number converts to about what the urinalysis reported (between 2.7 and 3.5ish but it's a color scale so not super accurate).
So I guess my question is should I be concerned? I'm also feeling pretty "weak" like you know the feeling when lifting your arms feels like so much work. But also i'm getting nervous that it's all in my head if that makes sense. I am not feeling the pain in my kidney area anymore but the ketone thing is kind of throwing me for a loop, i just kind of assumed I had a kidney stone so this came from left field a little bit. I'm debating if I should go to the dr today because I don't know if this is just a thing that can "happen" and it's fine. Also what are some things it could be? I just can't seem to find a reasoning that makes sense other than diabetes and that was seemingly ruled out.

First
Previous
Sorry for the delay in getting this part out; been away visiting family so not had much time to put fingers to keyboard, plus I managed to have my phone eaten by a roller coaster and it took a while to get it replaced and be able to get into a few things - stupid two factor authentication! Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
+++++++++++++++++++
Y’Lek and K’Rim slowed their mad dash as they neared the armoury; there was no telling whether the Swarm agents had left any traps for them and the armoury was full of extremely energy dense materials and weapons which could potentially jeopardise the structure of the ship if employed in the right way. Grabbing some handy footholds they stopped and considered the imposing door in front of them.
After a few moments of effort K’Rim had eased off the casement off the door’s locking mechanism but could detect nothing amiss with the crystalline structure beneath. Bypassing the outer interface she placed a grasper to the innards and a small spark of bioelectric energy jumped into the crystal which glowed briefly as the uniquely patterned waveform was parsed and compared with the patterns of those permitted access. The door slid aside as they were granted entry with no unwanted surprises being triggered.
With a relieved chitter Y’Lek started inside only to be pulled back sharply as K’Rim pulled on his leg.
“Stop. Just because the door opens, doesn’t mean that it is safe.” K’Rim warned as she pulled a small disc out of one of her utility pouches. Snapping it easily she gently tossed it through the doorway after slowly counting out a grasper of seconds. The exothermic reaction had reached the point where the disc glowed fitfully in the infrared, while it emitted a clear UV light. K’Rim watched it carefully and her antennae twitched with the effort of picking up any slight sound.
The glow-disc struck some of the lockers which filled the armoury and ricocheted off around the room but nothing seemed to react to the heat and movement.
With a decisive clack of her mandibles K’Rim pulled herself through the doorway and into the armoury. Y’Lek followed close on her tarsus. It was immediately obvious that several sets of warrior equipment had been removed, along with copious numbers of weapons.
Y’Lek was surprised when K’Rim didn’t make for the remaining warrior gear but instead to the emergency pressure suits. Seeing the confused tilt of his head K’Rim explained “Although the room appears safe, we don’t know what they may have done while they were here but it is safe to assume that they would have ensured any of the most dangerous equipment could not be used against them.”
She passed a bundled pressure suit to Y’Lek and continued “The emergency gear and non-powered weapons are the least likely to have been tampered with and have the least amount of capacity for harming us even if they have been so we will have to make do with them until we can thoroughly check the rest of the equipment.”
Y’Lek thought for a moment before bobbing in agreement and starting to pull on the pressure suit, careful to sheath his claws with the hardened “gauntlets” integral to the suit before powering up the spiracle gas exchangers and carefully sealing them in place against his thorax. “Yes, I can see the risk now. Though it will potentially leave us vulnerable, it is better to be certain of our equipment than to die of over confidence.”
The emergency pressure suit came together quickly, living up to its name and the pair were quickly sealed against the cold, dry, and slightly strange tasting air that the aliens had been pumping into the Far Flung Seed and supplying them with a more familiar and moister mixture.
K’Rim passed him a set of the ceremonial but still functional weapons and the harness to hold them. They wouldn’t hold up long against a fusion blade or a particle lance but they were durable enough to give them a chance and were completely inert so could not have been sabotaged.
Only a couple of minutes after entering the armoury they swam back out into the corridor and sped off towards the arboretum.
+++++++++++++++++++
Smithy quickly sprayed a fluorescent marking on the uneven and root covered tunnel junction to identify which way they had come from. “How can such a small ship have so many damn tunnels?” he growled to himself.
“It’s not the size of the ship, it’s what you do with it that matters” quipped Hall.
“Yeah? Well, apparently in this case it was fill it with bloody tunnels.” deadpanned Smithy in response.
“Can it.” broke in Stroud before anyone else could get involved “You can discuss the relative merits of alien design philosophy on your own time; for now you need to focus.”
A chorus of “Sergeant” came back over the radio and the remainder of Delta and Echo buckled down and continued sweeping what even Stroud was prepared to admit was a seemingly endless series of tunnels with apparently zero overarching logic to their layout. Up until a few minutes ago they had been getting directional updates from some supposedly friendly ET’s in the control room but apparently they had suddenly just buggered off so now they were picking junctions that appeared to take them in the vague direction that had been indicated to them.
Stroud again cursed the fact that the maintenance drones brought by the initial engineering team hadn't been able to access this part of the ship and map it due to the tightly sealed blast doors that had protected the forest from the vacuum. Who could have imagined that there would have been so much structure hidden underneath and between the normal corridors and rooms? The three dimensional map they had been creating as they advanced was like something Jackson Pollock and H R Giger might have come up with on an acid trip.
They approached another intersection and slowed. After a quick glance between them, Mears and Jackson moved forward, taking cover behind Mears’ shield. They crept up to the junction and Jackson poked the muzzle of his shotgun, and its camera into the ragged space beyond. The feed showed several small tunnels radiating off at all angles, way too small for any of them to fit down. One navigable tunnel appeared to curve off back in the direction they came from, while another looked like it might go the right way.
Suddenly the camera and the end third of Jackson’s gun disintegrated into a cloud of superheated vapour, shards of glowing metal and smoking composites. With a scream Jackson jumped back, the outer weave on the gauntlet of his left hand shredded and smouldering. In a stunning display of muscle memory he ejected the internal magazine and disconnected the weapon from the backpack feed almost before his mind had caught up with what was going on.
Hands grabbed him as he was yanked further back into the corridor. He flung the remains of his shotgun down and it clattered and bounced down the tunnel in the vague direction of the junction. Jackson was conscious of Mears backing up towards him, shield held protectively to block as much of the tunnel as possible, while Smithy grabbed his forearm and inspected his hand. Stroud stepped over him and took up guard on Mears’ shoulder, weapon trained forward and sweeping what could be seen of the slightly larger space beyond this section of the tunnel.
Another “FOOOM!” as the tumbling wreckage of the shotgun was vaporised as it spun across the opening of the tunnel.
“Fuuuuuuuck me!” said Jackson, at last able to form words as the adrenaline induced tunnel vision started to clear.
“Well, how about you start by showing me whether you can still use your fingers and we can take it from there, eh?” Smithy said from where he was turning his hand from prone to supine again. “Looks like the inner layer of your glove is intact but both Simmonds and Jones complained of numbness after being hit. How’re you feeling?”
Jackson gingerly flexed his fingers and made a fist a few times but grunted as he felt the tips of his fingers tingle where they pressed into the material of his gloves “Feels weird - tingly like I sat on my hand or something.”
Smithy grunted to acknowledge this “OK, well shout out if it gets any worse; got it?”
He pulled Jackson to his feet and slapped him on the shoulder before they both turned back to face down the tunnel again. Jackson surreptitiously flexed his hand a few more times as he pulled out his sidearm and secured its retaining strap to his right wrist. He wasn’t too hopeful that the small pistol would be able to do too much against the ET’s, but it was better than walking around with nothing.
Stroud backed away from the junction where he had been very gingerly checking all the passageways with a camera barely poking out from the mouth of the tunnel they were in.
He stood up and turned to the security team “Ok, looks like there is something stuffed into one of the narrow tunnels - kind of like those shoulder guns the ET’s have, along with a stand and power supply. My guess is it has some kind of automated fire mode and decided that it really didn’t like Jackson’s gun waving around in front of it. Question is, how are we going to get rid of it? We can’t leave it behind in case we need to come back this way in a hurry.”
“I guess it will probably shoot anything we throw at it so grenades are out?” mused Mears
There followed a number of suggestions and comments.
“Can we get an angle on it and just shoot it?”
“How about we let Jackson distract it some more while the rest of us blow it away?”
“We need to avoid the power pack if the two dead ET’s from the corridor are anything to go by.”
Stroud listened for a minute before cutting the chatter short. “Ok, so I think our best bet is to use the ballistic shield to bait it, while someone else blows the top off it from the other side of the tunnel; Mears you and Jackson handle the shield; keep a tight hold on it as those shots release a lot of energy when they hit. Smithy - I’ve marked its location so you hug the other side of the tunnel and draw a bead on it. Wait for it to hit the shield before popping out and taking your shot; and for the love of all that you hold dear do it fast, Ok?”
The team nodded in agreement.
“I will be there to pull Smithy back as soon as he has popped out of cover, just in case.” concluded Stroud before ushering them to their positions. After a few moments of shuffling around each other in the tight space they were ready.
Smithy led the countdown. “Ready. Steady. Go!” Instantly Mears and Jackson shoved a third of the ballistic shield out into the corridor and planted themselves on top of the section remaining in the corridor only a moment ahead of a bright flash and the shield heaving under the impact.
Seemingly almost simultaneously Smithy leaned out and fired, the boom of his shotgun mingling with the “foom!” of the vaporising surface of the shield. Stroud almost bodily lifted him as he pulled him back from the edge.
For a second they were still as they sprawled around the opening.
“A good hit!” called Stroud as he reviewed the few frames of footage from Smithy’s gun camera between jumping out and back in again.
Mears stood up and inspected the sorry remains of his ballistic shield, now missing most of the top edge. “Great, well I hope there aren’t too many more of those hidden around as I’m running out of shield.”
+++++++++++++++++++
N’Dar’s antennae quivered inside his protective suit. That last series of weapons fire had been far too close for comfort and he still had two more locking systems to bypass. With a furious click of his mandibles he redoubled his efforts, running his bioelectric patterns through a series of filters, amplifiers and other signal processing systems to trick the door into thinking he had a right to open it.
The rot take the claw that had been delaying the aliens! He was supposed to have more time than this!
Next

Yesterday I went to urgent care because of stabbing/excruciating pain in the left side of my back, about where my left kidney, kind of right below my ribcage. This was a kind of pain I have never felt before, literally rolling on the floor in pain. It got significantly worse within an hour which is why i went in so quickly. I was also severely nauseous and threw up a little before i left. It was slowly lessening in pain while i was at the dr's, when i got there they said they didn't have an ultrasound to check for a kidney stone but they'd do a urinalysis to see if i had a uti ect.
The results came back and everything else was normal but I had 3+ ketones in my urine. Because of this they tested my glucose which was 85 and i hadn't eaten in 8ish hours (ate at 9am, test was at 5ish). The 85 result seemed to rule out diabetes because they didn't mention it again.
Their next step was to refer me to a different urgent care so they could give me an ultrasound. by this point the pain had become pretty minor and since that was really all i came there for I told them I was going to go home and wait to see if the pain came back, and if it did i'd go in. Well the pain never returned even close to the level it was before so I didn't go back.
I was trying to do some research on the ketone thing because while i used to do the keto diet a few years ago i don't really know what's normal or not. Anyways my confusion is that I couldn't really find any kind of explanation for why there would be that many ketones in my blood? like none of them made sense or like checked out with my symptoms if that makes sense. I am not pregnant, i have not drank alcohol in weeks, diabetes does run in my family but i think its type 2 which I thought was almost entirely environmental based and I eat well. My main issue is that a lot of the symptoms of most of the things overlap with the potential symptoms of a medication i started about 2-3 weeks ago. For example: extreme thirst, numbness/tingling/staticky feeling in my arms or face (not actually sure if this is an adderall thing it just started about a week ago), dry mouth, dizziness/lightheaded, nausea, weight loss. I'm on adderall for context. So I am experiencing all of those things but also it could be explained by the med.
I also went through the foods i've eaten the last few days to see if maybe i accidentally put myself into ketosis by my diet but i eat wayyy more than the 20-50 range that would put me in ketosis. Like the tortillas i've been using are 40 alone lol. I also bought those little ketosis test strips because i wanted to see if it was a fluke or something or would just go away on its own but i've tested twice since and both times the results are relatively the same and the number converts to about what the urinalysis reported (between 2.7 and 3.5ish but it's a color scale so not super accurate).
So I guess my question is should I be concerned? I'm also feeling pretty "weak" like you know the feeling when lifting your arms feels like so much work. But also i'm getting nervous that it's all in my head if that makes sense. I am not feeling the pain in my kidney area anymore but the ketone thing is kind of throwing me for a loop, i just kind of assumed I had a kidney stone so this came from left field a little bit. I'm debating if I should go to the dr today because I don't know if this is just a thing that can "happen" and it's fine. Also what are some things it could be? I just can't seem to find a reasoning that makes sense other than diabetes and that was seemingly ruled out.

Hello Reddit community,
I'm reaching out for some advice regarding my mom's health issues after her recent visit to Indonesia. She's 68 years old and during her four-month stay, she experienced two significant family events, both funerals, which understandably took a toll on her mentally. Adding to the pressure, she's the sole family member who resides in Europe, carrying the weight of providing for her family.
Her upbringing was challenging, and the recent events have seemingly pushed her to her limits. However, her symptoms seem odd for a typical burnout scenario. Additionally, she was bitten by a dog in Indonesia, leading to anxiety and necessitating rabies vaccinations, which she completed upon her return to Europe. The good news is that her doctors have ruled out rabies.
Symptoms:

• After the first funeral ceremonie, she got really really sick. Lot's of (green) mucus, cough, very very tired, anxiety. this lasted for 7 days.
• After the second funeral, again she got very ill. These funerals were spaced apart. Again, lots of mucus, coughs, green mucus, exhaustion.
• Throughout the months, sometimes diarrhea, sometimes complete constipation.
• Panic attacks & Anxiety she never in her life had these before. She became extremely scared of simple tasks, like making small decisions, she couldn't fly back alone from Indonesia, so I had to come get her.
• Rapid weight loss, despite normal eating habits. She's lost 15kg (33lbs) since the second ceremony and continues to lose weight rapidly. She's now worryingly thin, skin and bones. She also has reduced sensitivity in her skin.

Ever since her return back home, she has insomnia and "pressure" in her head. She overthinks about absolutely everything. She'll sleep for 2-3 hours per night, the docter has put her on sleeping pills and antidepressant. She takes Oxazepam during the day, (2) Mirtazapine tablets for anti depressants and (2) Zolpidem to sleep. However the medications are not helping, she still does not sleep for more than 3 hours per night and during the day she's very "off it" because of these pills.
Despite numerous blood tests showing normal results, except for pre-existing high blood pressure and cholesterol (she takes pills for this), her symptoms persist. Tomorrow, she's scheduled for lung and stomach scans, and today, she underwent more bloodwork. However, her condition seems to worsen with no clear diagnosis in sight.
Considering the vast difference in hygiene and environment between Indonesia and Europe, could it be a parasitic infection? We're at a loss, and her doctor is equally puzzled.
Any insights or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and support.

Hi all, I’m still at the point of trying to get doctors to take me seriously.
I’m a 36 year old female - previously very healthy.
I’ve been ill for a year and a half and none of the other specialists can find anything wrong with me. I had made another post with my symptoms, but I’ve developed more since then. The shortened version is nausea daily for 18 months, stabbing pains in the entire trunk of my body, lightheadedness, difficulty swallowing, difficulty speaking, confusion, and rapid heart rate/heart flopping around in my chest plus elevated blood pressure. I also have had leg weakness and had a fall because of it which landed me in the hospital for 3 days.
The new symptoms are: severe vertigo, numbness/tingling in both arms and legs, migraines that last for days - focused at the back of my head & neck, numbness in my mouth and tongue, hyperreflexia (diagnosed in the hospital but I forgot to include it in the last post).
Since I’m only 5mm herniated I haven’t been taken seriously. I do have a cine MRI scheduled in 2 days that I all but begged for, so hopefully that’ll help with the diagnosis.
What do you guys think about the MRI images I have of my brain and neck? These were the ones from the hospital with just contrast (and they were checking for MS, not Chiari, if that makes any difference).
Thank you in advance, you all are such a wonderful resource and a great comfort to me!!!