Need help with an assignment? I can do the work for you!

• I can do your Homework!
• I can take your Exam!
• I can write your Essay / Paper!

>>Contact me by Txt or Call<<
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu.com
Email: [info@hiraedu.com](mailto:info@hiraedu.com)
I can help with:
• Statistics: AP Statistics Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Intro to Statistics Psychology Statistics Social Science Statistics Statistics & Probability Statistical Methods Statistical & Probability Models Hwforcash
• Essay Writing: Term Paper Writing College Essay Writer Annotated Bibliography Literature Review Dissertation Thesis Research Paper Discussion posts and Replies Analysis Professional business letters Website content Product Reviews SEO Blog writer Summary Editing Hwforcash
• Math: Advanced Functions Algebra Calculus 1, 2, 3 (and 4 in some schools) Vector Calculus Differential Calculus Integral Calculus Multivariable Calculus Differential Equations Discrete Math Hwforcash Discrete Structures Finite Mathematics Functions Geometry Linear Algebra Precalculus Probability Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry Quantitative Methods & Reasoning Hwforcash
• Science: Anatomy & Physiology Astronomy Biochemistry Biology Chemistry (General, Inorganic & Organic) Dental / Pre-Dental Earth Science Engineering (Almost All Types) Environmental Science Epidemiology Fluid & Mechanics Geology Geophysics Medicine / Pre-Med Microbiology Neuroscience Physics Physical Science Hwforcash
• Business: Accounting Auditing Banking Business Administration Business Law Corporate Finance Cost Accounting Econometrics Economics Finance Financial Institutions Financial Reporting Hwforcash Global Economics Governance International Economics Macroeconomics Management Marketing MBA Courses Mergers and Acquisitions Microeconomics Operations Management Principles of Accounting Real Estate Taxation Hwforcash
• English: Business Writing Creative Writing Critical Reading Digital Media Eastern Literature English Literature Essays Expository & Persuasive Writing Fiction Writing Greek and Roman Philosophy Grammar Poetry Hwforcash
• Humanities & Social Sciences: Architecture Anthropology Art History Communication Criminal Justice Forestry Ethnic Studies Film History Law Pre-Law Music Philosophy Political Science Psychology Psychiatry Religious Studies Sociology Theology Women Studies Hwforcash
• Computer Science & Programming: Android AWS Azure Blockchain Cryptocurrency Smart Contracts C C# C++ Cloud Computer Organization and Assembly Languages CSS Data Science Data Structures and Algorithms Deep Learning Design Patterns Game Design and Development iOS Java Javascript Machine Learning MATLAB MySQL Networking NoSQL Object Oriented Programming Operating Systems PHP Principles of Computer Science Programming for Virtual Reality Programming Languages Python R Robotics Ruby Software Engineering SQL Swift Web Development
• Proctored Tests: PROCTOR U EXAMPLIFY EXAMSOFT PROCTORU LOCKDOWN BROWSER RESPONDUS TEAS NLN HESI ATI GRE LSAT EXAM SOFT EXAMITY PEARSON VUE ONVUE PROCTORIO PROCTORTRACK CLEP ACCUPLACER PROPROCTOR
If you don't see your class listed, ask me!
References are available upon request!
SOFTWARES I AM PROFICIENT AT:
• Acellus ALEKS Aplia APEX Learning Badgr Blackboard Blink Learning Brightspace / D2L Canvas Cengage CengageNow Childsmath Cisco ConnectMath Connexus CPM Crowdmark EViews Edmentum Examity Excel Garch Google Classroom Google Education Gradescope Hawkes Learning Honorlock iClicker InQuizitive (Norton) Java Kaltura Khan Academy Knewton Kryterion LaunchPad MATLAB Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL Mathematica McGraw-Hill Connect MegaStat Microsoft Teams Microsoft Access, Word, Excel, PowerPoint Mindtap Minitab MonitorEDU Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyFinanceLab MyITLab MyMathLab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab NCSS Outlier Pearson MyLab and Mastering Piazza PlatoWeb Prezi Proctor360 Proctorio Proctortrack Python R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam SAM Sapling SAS SPSS Socrative Stata StraighterLine Turnitin VoiceThread WebAssign WebEx WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Zoom
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First of all, these are the contact details to reach us for help any type of academic task of any subject:
MY CONTACT INFO:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

I ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS:

• I have no problem speaking with potential clients on the phone.
• I have an authentic suburban upper-middle-class American accent, similar to the actor: Ben Stein.
• However, be wary of so-called “tutors” who refuse to accept any phone calls or have a strict “text / email only” policy.
• These “text-only” / “email-only” tutors are usually located outside the U.S. and are afraid their foreign accent will expose their true nationality.

I WRITE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL:

• Approximately 98% of the time, I write all my texts & emails in grammatically correct U.S. English with proper punctuation and occasional typo.
• Unlike some alleged “U.S.-based tutors,” I do NOT write using broken English or grammatically incorrect texting shorthand (example: "wut u need help wit??").
• I write my ad in proper American English, the same way I always text and email people.
• I can guide students on formatting & writing term papers, essays, and discussion posts in APA MLA Chicago Harvard format.
• If the tutor you’re checking out consistently writes using egregiously horrendous grammar, do you honestly think it’s a good idea to trust them to help you do well in your class?

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

HELP AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:

• If you are interested in my services and would like to learn more info, please feel free to reach out to me.
• Text messages and email are the fastest and easiest ways to get in touch with me. However, I gladly accept phone calls.
• If I don't respond right away, I am most likely helping a student at the time and not currently available to speak on the phone. But I always make a solid effort to reply to texts, emails, and phone calls within an hour.

CONCLUSION:

• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

OCT 2021 UPDATE: I am currently offering discount deals for requests for assistance with completing a student's entire course for the Fall 2024 semester (14 - 20 week courses acceptable), as well as discounts for students seeking help with multiple exams and/or multiple classes for Fall 2024. My availability for the Autumn 2024 / Fall 2024 semester will likely become limited very quickly as I receive more and more academic requests. Therefore it would be very advantageous to reach out to me for academic assistance before my schedule becomes too full.
MY CONTACT INFO:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
IMPORTANT: When reaching out, please try to include the following information in the initial text message or email so that I can have all the important details necessary to determine the rate for my services:

• Name You Prefer to Be Called
• Name of the Class You Need Help With
• Type of Assessment Help Needed: (Entire Course, Exams Only, HW Assignment, Essay, etc.)

I have been somewhat feeling “boxed in” terms of creativity lately in my masters program. I just feel like coursework is solving the most trivial useless things by hand and then not actually doing anything hands on. I’m in a masters stats position program and even though I’m doing well in the coursework, I rarely get to actually “DO” any of the things I’m learning.
Like for example in my statistical inference theory class we spend like a week covering how to find rejection regions for hypothesis tests by hand using likelihood ratio tests, and then just do these derivations constantly. Same in my bayes class.
For example, the course I enjoy the most so far is my data visualization class because we are actually building a dashboard, and it made me realize how much I need to sharpen up my data cleaning skills. Being in theory classes for years in undergrad and now in grad school It was a huge wake up call to practice the basics outside of class.
Lately, I have been reading the research posted by tech companies, where they talk about what data scientists are doing out there in the real world, and the statistical methods that are being created and leveraged, and they are actually putting what they learn into practice and get so much creativity and freedom.
I’m frankly just looking forward to graduate and work because I’m so tired of not actually doing the real stuff and solving real problems. I’m hoping there’s more creativity fostered as oppose to a classroom. Does anyone feel this way about masters programs sometimes? You come away with a deeper knowledge at a theoretical level but you don’t actually solve any real problems so you can feel your in a box, and itch to do some real stuff.

My mom got mad at me and got rid of almost everything I own and took my door. What she left was mostly my decorations - posters, Christmas lights, some drawings - that I had hung up on the wall. I took all of those down today and packed them up. I'll take out the bookshelves later because she can't lift stuff and I'll be left with a couple of changes of clothes, my school stuff, and my bed. My room just feels empty now.
All of the time (literal years) and money I spent collecting my books and swords is just.....gone. Hundreds of books, dozens of knives, a longsword, a German dagger that I bought in Germany, most of my clothes, my martial arts uniform, my laptop, my college acceptance letters, the last letter from my best friend before he died. All gone. Just because I woke up late and forgot to do something 😂😂😂

Demographics: Domestic Asian 💀 male 💀💀 from semi-competitive high school needing aid
Major: Electrical Engineering💀💀💀
Hooks: Low income, immigrant parents, super first generation, live in Mississippi, my grandfather got harassed by the commies in China in the 60s for being too rich
GPA: School calculates it weird but I’m going to guess 3.8 UW, 4.3W. Big upward trend from freshman year.
Rank: Probably ~40/400, idk yet tho
1530/35 (both superscore) (might retake)
AP: 13 (6 will be during senior year) + 3 honors + 3 (will be 4) years of high school engineering classes
AP Took/Taking/Will Take: World History, US Gov, US History, Chemistry, Biology, Precalculus💀, Calculus BC, European History, Physics Mechanics, English Literature, Macroeconomics, Microeconomics, Statistics
Self Studying AP Calculus AB and English Language
Assume 4-5 on all exams
Extracurriculars (present and hopefully future): Forced to work at parents’ restaurant during summer and breaks (20 hours/week when applicable) (also means they have no time to take me for other EC), 100 Volunteer Hours, Small amount of SAT/ACT Tutoring, Coding Club (don’t do anything), Asian Culture Club (don’t do anything), Robotics Club, Chinese School (don’t do anything), Beta Club, 2-week summer internship at a power plant, Am working on Roblox game for that $$$,
Awards: National Merit Finalist (probably), Random CollegeBoard Award, Fusion360 certified, some random PLTW certifications, got called smart by my teacher, Call of Duty Mobile Legendary Rank,
Letters of Recommendation (next year): PSAT Teacher: 8/10 she liked me and called me her best student, and also her vocabulary is definetly something to remember
Counselor: 3/10 We don’t talk lmao
Essays: 8/10: 🔥✍️ I’m just that good, but I’m Asian male so no diversity essay
If you’re feeling generous then chance me for USC EA pls 🙏

It’s seems like 99% who try this fail spectacularly.
So I am really confused by all the advice and motivation posts. Are you that naive to realize it’s borderline impossible at this point?
It’s like giving advice to a high school on how to shoot a basketball in the hopes of making it I the NBA. It’s so wildly unlikely that is mine as well be statistically impossible

I was about 10 maybe 9, when my parents starting asking for money out of my piggy bank. Later I found we had other money they were taking for bills. Money we recieveed when my twin and I were born or too young to know the concept of money.
When I was 9 or 10 they ask for the money for their bills. When I got older I began to say no. I was guilt tripped in to it. I would be told do I like hot water, a roof over my head, and etc. What made it worse was only one of my parents was working the other chose not to.
So as I got older, late teens I was the giving my twin brother money. Yet we had the same job and some expenses. We both bought cars. Our dreams cars, he bought his several months before me.
We were making a lot better money then most at 18 year olds. Right out of high school we went full time. 40 plus a week. Plus we tried to go full time college but the way the school hours and work hours were we weren't getting much sleep. That that's another story.
I believe we should have been guided better, we were never talked out of going full time work. Our parents should have talked us into making school more of a priority.
We were making almost just as much a our father. Us at the age of 19 to 20 we thought we were doing well. We were missguided.
My grandparents bought a property right next to their house so they could have a driveway. Since they had the house since the 50s they were parking down then street only place they could have parked. Listed price $45,000 they bought it for $36000 in 2007.
They had it about 8 months before for my twin decided to buy it. I was talked into being a cobuyer with him. We needed an FHA loan. In order to get an FHA some things needed to be "fixed". We had to repaint the exteriors and interiors. Along with putting new carpets in. It was a very small house.
Maybe 700 sq ft but listed as 1000 sq ft. It was being sold to us for $55,000. Yet they bought it for $36,000 took a large chunk of land.
Before we closed he was killed in a car accident. On his way back from registering for a new semester for college to go to work for some overtime.
He died just before Xmas, he was only 20 years old. I was supposed to be with him in that car but i never get up in time.
I was told by our Boss to take my time returning to work. He said " you will always have a job here". My brother and I were very good employees especially since we were so young.
I asked my parents what should I do about the house. They said I should call the mortgage company tell them my brother had died.
The company said how about we run the the numbers with just your income. Obviously I get denied. So i told my parents this. So they convince me to convince my 19 year old younger brother to be cobuyer. He was lucky if he was making 1k a month. But, we got approved by the skin of our teeth.
His income never help with them bills. Since he wasn't living there but i had to give a key to him. He'd use it when is wasn't there to cheat on his gf.
Before I signed closing paper work, I get cold feet told my parents I can't go through with it.
I was told since I took a few weeks off from my job I was using my brothers death as a simple vacation. Told me I was being selfish for not wanting to buy it. Told me the wrong one died. Plus a number of other horrible statements.
I succumbed to their will and signed the dotted line. Lucky I had some saving that kept me afloat for a few years until the foreclosure process. I was bringing home about $1600 a month. Between mortgage, car loan, and etc. I was in the hole nearly $700 a month. After a year I exhausted my savings.
No one in their 20s should have that amount of stress. I thought the stress was from the job so i got different job at the end of 2009 it was stupid less pay but my family never talked me out of it. They talked my brother before he died out of a better paying job. It seemed they wanted us to fail.
Originally my family promised me half the mortgage with my brother's life insurance. Since he was the one who would have been paying for it with me. They told me no they never said half the mortgage. They said half the value of the house. I said fine can I have that. They said no. We never expected to have to give it all at once. This was already nearing the middle of 2009.
The brother that was the cobuyer was already on his second car they gave him money for. The first was a 2008 Chevy cobalt for $18k. He drove that for 8 to 10 months put about 20k miles on it. He wanted the faster model it was a 2006 cobalt. The trade of the other plus parents gave him another about $12k. Around the middle of 2009.
So i had to fight to get help on the money "they promised" I said can you at least give me enough to pay of MY car. They agreed with protest. Saying well he's paying back( about 100 a month even though he stopped and started again). After several month they said if you only used it to put on the house and refinance.
I told them 1. I couldn't refinance, I had to wait x amount of time a per the contract. 2 even if I did I'd only say $35 a month. 3 I needed the savings now. To this day they think I am wrong.
While I was struggling wondering if I would be able to eat. My brother was getting tattoos, concerts, vacations. Yet if he had a traditional loan for the cars he wouldn't have afforded that life style.
Some time in 2010 he sold that car and wanted to buy a truck. He still needed $10k more. Blamed me that's he couldn't get the loan because I hurt his credit missing mortgage payments. I said it had nothing to do with that. Its your debt to income ratio thats the problem. He had a mortgage on his name plus still was working part time. He said I was wrong and stupid. Said hes the one going to college. So my parents gave him another 10k
So after that I had to fight to get my bills caught up. So they caught me up with $3700. They told me what i should do is sell the car(I haven't driven it in sometime because I was under 25 and insurance was 350 a month so in dropped it) get rid of the gf and work 2 to 3 jobs. Eat ramen noodles and Mac and cheese and that it.
Anyway I lost the house moved into a apartment across the street for about 6 months when the roommate decided to move out. So i was forced to move back home. What made it worse was I didn't get a bedroom. My one brother( cobuyer) lived in Delaware at the time. My other was in and out of his baby mommas place. So i understand why he still needed a bed room. My parents flat out told me, he ( cobuyer) won't give up his bed room. So what i got was a 7 × 7 part of the kitchen that used to be our back porch. So that back door was right there.
Anyway this is getting long. So i grew depressed, my confidence almost none existing, and suffered from self loathing. No, I didn't turn to the bottle or drug. What i did turn to was years of lending people money cuz I think I was meant to never have my own life.
Just until recently especially after my daughter was born. I realized I mattered my wants and needs matter. Do I still battle my thought. Of course and I dont think I'll ever be free of it. Its said and true the people who are supposed to care about you the most hurt you the most. Unfortunately no one can succeed on there own. Granted there is a lot more to MY story. I probably can write a whole novella on the matter. Please tell me what you think?

I was about 10 maybe 9, when my parents starting asking for money out of my piggy bank. Later I found we had other money they were taking for bills. Money we recieveed when my twin and I were born or too young to know the concept of money.
When I was 9 or 10 they ask for the money for their bills. When I got older I began to say no. I was guilt tripped in to it. I would be told do I like hot water, a roof over my head, and etc. What made it worse was only one of my parents was working the other chose not to.
So as I got older, late teens I was the giving my twin brother money. Yet we had the same job and some expenses. We both bought cars. Our dreams cars, he bought his several months before me.
We were making a lot better money then most at 18 year olds. Right out of high school we went full time. 40 plus a week. Plus we tried to go full time college but the way the school hours and work hours were we weren't getting much sleep. That that's another story.
I believe we should have been guided better, we were never talked out of going full time work. Our parents should have talked us into making school more of a priority.
We were making almost just as much a our father. Us at the age of 19 to 20 we thought we were doing well. We were missguided.
My grandparents bought a property right next to their house so they could have a driveway. Since they had the house since the 50s they were parking down then street only place they could have parked. Listed price $45,000 they bought it for $36000 in 2007.
They had it about 8 months before for my twin decided to buy it. I was talked into being a cobuyer with him. We needed an FHA loan. In order to get an FHA some things needed to be "fixed". We had to repaint the exteriors and interiors. Along with putting new carpets in. It was a very small house.
Maybe 700 sq ft but listed as 1000 sq ft. It was being sold to us for $55,000. Yet they bought it for $36,000 took a large chunk of land.
Before we closed he was killed in a car accident. On his way back from registering for a new semester for college to go to work for some overtime.
He died just before Xmas, he was only 20 years old. I was supposed to be with him in that car but i never get up in time.
I was told by our Boss to take my time returning to work. He said " you will always have a job here". My brother and I were very good employees especially since we were so young.
I asked my parents what should I do about the house. They said I should call the mortgage company tell them my brother had died.
The company said how about we run the the numbers with just your income. Obviously I get denied. So i told my parents this. So they convince me to convince my 19 year old younger brother to be cobuyer. He was lucky if he was making 1k a month. But, we got approved by the skin of our teeth.
His income never help with them bills. Since he wasn't living there but i had to give a key to him. He'd use it when is wasn't there to cheat on his gf.
Before I signed closing paper work, I get cold feet told my parents I can't go through with it.
I was told since I took a few weeks off from my job I was using my brothers death as a simple vacation. Told me I was being selfish for not wanting to buy it. Told me the wrong one died. Plus a number of other horrible statements.
I succumbed to their will and signed the dotted line. Lucky I had some saving that kept me afloat for a few years until the foreclosure process. I was bringing home about $1600 a month. Between mortgage, car loan, and etc. I was in the hole nearly $700 a month. After a year I exhausted my savings.
No one in their 20s should have that amount of stress. I thought the stress was from the job so i got different job at the end of 2009 it was stupid less pay but my family never talked me out of it. They talked my brother before he died out of a better paying job. It seemed they wanted us to fail.
Originally my family promised me half the mortgage with my brother's life insurance. Since he was the one who would have been paying for it with me. They told me no they never said half the mortgage. They said half the value of the house. I said fine can I have that. They said no. We never expected to have to give it all at once. This was already nearing the middle of 2009.
The brother that was the cobuyer was already on his second car they gave him money for. The first was a 2008 Chevy cobalt for $18k. He drove that for 8 to 10 months put about 20k miles on it. He wanted the faster model it was a 2006 cobalt. The trade of the other plus parents gave him another about $12k. Around the middle of 2009.
So i had to fight to get help on the money "they promised" I said can you at least give me enough to pay of MY car. They agreed with protest. Saying well he's paying back( about 100 a month even though he stopped and started again). After several month they said if you only used it to put on the house and refinance.
I told them 1. I couldn't refinance, I had to wait x amount of time a per the contract. 2 even if I did I'd only say $35 a month. 3 I needed the savings now. To this day they think I am wrong.
While I was struggling wondering if I would be able to eat. My brother was getting tattoos, concerts, vacations. Yet if he had a traditional loan for the cars he wouldn't have afforded that life style.
Some time in 2010 he sold that car and wanted to buy a truck. He still needed $10k more. Blamed me that's he couldn't get the loan because I hurt his credit missing mortgage payments. I said it had nothing to do with that. Its your debt to income ratio thats the problem. He had a mortgage on his name plus still was working part time. He said I was wrong and stupid. Said hes the one going to college. So my parents gave him another 10k
So after that I had to fight to get my bills caught up. So they caught me up with $3700. They told me what i should do is sell the car(I haven't driven it in sometime because I was under 25 and insurance was 350 a month so in dropped it) get rid of the gf and work 2 to 3 jobs. Eat ramen noodles and Mac and cheese and that it.
Anyway I lost the house moved into a apartment across the street for about 6 months when the roommate decided to move out. So i was forced to move back home. What made it worse was I didn't get a bedroom. My one brother( cobuyer) lived in Delaware at the time. My other was in and out of his baby mommas place. So i understand why he still needed a bed room. My parents flat out told me, he ( cobuyer) won't give up his bed room. So what i got was a 7 × 7 part of the kitchen that used to be our back porch. So that back door was right there.
Anyway this is getting long. So i grew depressed, my confidence almost none existing, and suffered from self loathing. No, I didn't turn to the bottle or drug. What i did turn to was years of lending people money cuz I think I was meant to never have my own life.
Just until recently especially after my daughter was born. I realized I mattered my wants and needs matter. Do I still battle my thought. Of course and I dont think I'll ever be free of it. Its said and true the people who are supposed to care about you the most hurt you the most. Unfortunately no one can succeed on there own. Granted there is a lot more to MY story. I probably can write a whole novella on the matter. Please tell me what you think?

General Content Warning for this entire write-up, so everyone can have a good time: - Extensive discussion of topics related to mental illness, including self-harm, suicidal ideation, mania / bipolar disorder, distortion of truth, medication, involuntary hospitalization, medical abuse in a hospital setting, and romanticization of mental illness. - Non-detailed mentions of domestic violence (implied abuse by intimate partner and parents) and sexual / gender-based violence (including rape, child sexual assault, grooming, sex trafficking and torture). These last few items feature prominently in one installment, pertaining to a work of fiction; descriptions may be a bit more specific/detailed in that segment, but not graphic. - Mentions and quotes of unchill bigoted behavior, including ableism (mental and physical), white nonsense / white fragility / racism, fatphobia, prejudice against drug users.
Additional CWs may be added at the beginning of specific segments when relevant. While these are heavy topics, the tone of this write-up is generally light-hearted and aims to entertain. If this approach sounds uncomfortable or trivializing, this may not be a good read for you; please trust your gut!
*
Picture this: it's the early 2010s, somewhere in the western world. Instagram is a novelty, Harvey Weinstein runs Hollywood, almost no one on Earth leans one way or the other about RNA vaccines, and Donald Trump is that one real estate guy you vaguely remember from Home Alone 2. New player Lady Gaga is the most interesting thing to have happened to pop since Madonna, and the whole industry is attempting to catch up; Miley Cyrus is the chick who used to be on Hannah Montana; Melanie Martinez hasn't hatched yet. The time of Oddball Concept Divas is dawning just below the horizon.
You're a Bowie-loving student who skipped goth night at the club to tag along with your art school friends for a very special evening. You're a giddy sixteen-year old rocking cat ears, purple Wet 'n Wild eyeliner, a polyester petticoat, and a coffin-shaped backpack. You're an effete theater kid who sewed his own waistcoat for the occasion, but won't dare wear it to school the next day. You're a buff, bearded dude in a Venom shirt who's trying not to look too excited, since your girlfriend supposedly had to drag you here. You're a slightly bemused parent leaning against the back wall of the venue, sipping a warm half-pint, wondering if this isn't all a bit dark for a tween. (“It's called 'Victoriandustrial', mom,” you've been told in the car, “and it's not dark, it's art.”)
On stage is a pink-haired woman, with red porcelain-doll lips and a heart painted on her cheek. Among a set of antique consoles, twee tchotchkes, teacups and plastic rats, she pounces and twirls in glittery platform boots, tattered striped stockings, and a tightly laced crystal-studded corset that looks like it's splattered in blood. This is ostensibly a concert, but there is no live band. Where one would expect a drum kit or a bass, three bedazzled burlesque vixens act as back-up singers and dancers, with the occasional vaudeville act – a fire-twirling number, a fan dance, throwing pastries and spitting tea into the audience. Lots of wholesome girl-on-girl kissing, too. The music on the backing track is a genre-bender of clanging beats and beeps, lofty orchestral strings, and the frantic hammering of a MIDI harpsichord, as the pink-haired frontlady sings of heartache and betrayal and drowning. Think if the Brontë sisters had invented industrial rock.
The audience gasps in excitement when the lady whips out a vamped-out wireless electric violin. With rockstar cool and virtuoso poise, she leans into the instrument, touches the bow to the strings, and tears out a single plaintive, impeccably distorted high note. Then her fingers go wild, and for a few seconds, everything is perfect suspended animation. Uncannily perfect, almost. Just behind you, you hear someone whisper: “Wait, is she miming it?”
*
Forgive the theatrical intro, but I had to set the stage for... the drama. And I do mean drama in the thespian sense of the term! This, ladies and gentlemen, is a Shakespeare play: wordy and confusing, but it's neat how the main character's opening lines foreshadow the tragic climax. It's a Greek tragedy for the digital age – if, instead of killing his dad and banging his mom, after becoming king, Oedipus was doomed to becoming uniquely obnoxious. It's The Rocky Horror Show under the grim direction of Samuel Beckett. Like all good theatre, this story is about how fiction bleeds into reality – through the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, and how all the world's a stage and all that.

WHO IS EMILIE AUTUMN, AND WHAT'S THE DRAMA?

Here's the Broadway Weekly blurb, so you can decide whether the show is worth your time: Emilie Autumn, also known as EA, is a US-American alternative singer-songwriter, author, and actor. She became known in alt circles in the mid-2010s for her violin skills, unique fashion, outspoken stances on feminism and mental health advocacy, and the way she dramatized and sublimated her own life story in her art. In 2009, she self-published a semi-autobiographical book that became a sort of bible to her creative universe and fandom. She toured extensively and enjoyed niche, but considerable success until the mid-2010s – with hordes of devoted fans adopting her fashion sense and lingo, and crediting her music for getting them through dark times.
For the past twelve years or so, EA has mostly been focused on adapting her book into a stage musical, releasing two more albums of songs intended for the libretto. At the time of this write-up, it has been six years since the last album and a decade since the last live show. Although she still talks about the musical as an ongoing, Broadway-bound project, in recent years, she's often gone dark for months at a time on social media. There is no forum, no large Discord, no active community to speak of; comments are restricted on her currently-inactive Instagram and blog.
Who is she hiding from, you ask? Why, you've probably guessed it: the hordes of devoted fans whom she infuriates every time she does anything.
And what are they furious about? (Or frustrated, flummoxed, or plain ol' flabbergasted?) Well, it depends who you ask. For some, it's disappointment in her artistic and marketing choices (what are fans for?). Others cite unkept promises or absurd release delays. For others yet, it's the AliBaba merch sold at jaw-dropping markups with three paragraphs of purple prose in the product description.. Or maybe it was the angry rants on Twitter? Okay, it's the casual bigotry that she staunchly denies or dismisses. It's the criticism she can't take. It's the fact that she won't stop lying about her own life! Either way, I don't personally know of any fanbase that has been so consistently exasperated, for so many years, and for such a diverse array of reasons, by their favorite artist.
In truth, each individual mini-scandal isn't all that juicy or scandalous. Nobody died, no one got sued; nothing of significant value, other than time and sanity, was taken away from anyone. What I find interesting here is the years and years of bizarre parasocial codependency (and antagonism) between a fragile woman who became addicted to her own poppycock, and an obsessive fanbase who cared way too much not to take it personally.
Before we even get to EA's relationship with her fans, you're going to need some lore about EA herself. A “Hobby History” of sorts. Strap in! There's romance, tragedy, laughter, character development, variety numbers, numerous costume changes, (actual) celebrity cameos – and based on how long this OpenOffice doc already is at the time of my writing this, we're probably going to need several intermissions too. This write-up is link-heavy, both with receipts and with additional watching and listening material. Not all of them need to be clicked in order to understand the story; I'm merely providing the rabbit holes. I've tried to make things more easily navigable by including a little glossary about the nature of links; one emoji-indicator carries over the next link until I use a different one.
🪞 = picture / visual 🎵 = music 📺 = video 📝 = primary source / receipt 🔍 = press article / write-up / further reading 🎤 = song lyrics / spoken word audio 🐀 = anonymous fan confession 🦠 = reaction / meme

BAROQUE BEGINNINGS: THE VIOLIN YEARS

VampireFreaks: Do you ever smile to yourself knowing your old music teachers might be seeing your success? EA: I smile to myself knowing they might be dead. (Long-lost interview, late 2000s)

Born in Malibu in the late 70s, Emilie Autumn, often known as EA, was originally trained as a classical violinist.
By her account, she started playing the violin at age 4, and was homeschooled at age 9 so that she could focus on her instrument. After stints at various performing arts colleges, some rather prestigious, she dropped out of formal schooling in her mid-to-late teens to embark on a solo violin career.
In 2001, after disappointing experiences with major record companies, she created her own label, Traitor Records, and released a EP of chamber music, with minor success. The stuffy industry of classical music didn't “get” the twenty-something manic-pixie-fiddler, who played Bach just a bit too fast, but with electric stage presence – wearing period corsets, combat boots, and the occasional fairy wings. But EA evidently knew that there was an audience for that somewhere.
And that somewhere – drumroll – was Illinois.

VW: What do you most hope to accomplish? EA: Everything. (‘Virtual World Radio’ Interview, 2002 📝)

ENCHANT ERA: BRUSHES WITH FAME ON FAERIE WINGS

What if I'm an ocean, far too shallow, much too deep? (...) What if I'm a siren singing gentlemen to sleep? (“What If”, 2003 🎵)

Soon, EA relocated from her native California to Chicago. There, in between odd jobs, she veered away from baroque and began performing her own “fantasy rock” stylings at piano bars, holiday fairs and local venues – and building a decent following through her LiveJournal, website, and IRL friends. People loved the whole renegade genius thing, loved the violin, loved the nightingale voice, loved the fairy wings and costumes🪞, loved the handmade merch and general disdain for The Business, loved her deadpan humor and bookish nerdiness. In 2003, she released her first LP, Enchant 🎵 – an ethereal, introspective indie-pop joint, born under the sign of Imogen Heap, with a moon in Fiona Apple and Tori Amos rising.
Everything about EA's act was exquisitely DIY, personal, and intricate. For instance, the Enchant booklet folded out into a Masquerade-style puzzle of her own design.🪞 The first person to solve the puzzle would win “the Wings, Ruff, Fan and Scepter of the Faerie Queene herself” – all lovingly handmade by EA, and depicted in peak 2003 graphic design on the booklet. For months, YEARS after Enchant came out, people poured over the cryptic metaphors and literary references, the historical symbolism and visual puns of the artwork, looking for hints and patterns. They read every fan chat, every interview, every relevant Shakespeare play, hoping to decipher the inner workings of EA's mind and find new keys to the puzzle. Sure, it's been two decades now and no one's ever managed to crack the damn thing 🔍, which is by now widely assumed to be flawed and unsolvable; still, it's the kind of zany, brainy, immersive experience that tends to cultivate a niche but hyper-invested fanbase.
So it makes perfect sense that underground aficionada and internet frontierswoman Courtney Love (she haunted public AOL chatrooms as early as 1995! 🔍) would take an interest. Just a few months after releasing Enchant, EA was off to southern France to record violin and vocals for Courtney's new solo album; a few months after that, in early 2004, she joined Courtney's band on a brief tour to promote the record.
Alas, no cigar: America's Sweetheart flopped. Maybe because most of those summer recording sessions were ultimately lost to an engineering oopsie; maybe because Courtney was having an especially rough year – and going through all the “rock-bottom moments” that she would discuss in group therapy, later that fall, when she began her sobriety journey at court-ordered rehab. EA, a former homeschool kid who had never done drugs, seems to remember the tour as a generally terrifying experience; she later stated, with some bitterness, that the experience was not worth the time it had taken away from her own solo career.
But it was a good year for TV appearances! Here she is on the David Letterman Show in March 2004, rocking out on a perfectly inaudible violin as C-Love fades in and out of her own body. 📺 She also landed a cute tutorial segment on HGTV's Crafters: Coast to Coast, making sushi-shaped soap and fairy wings. In December, she accompanied Billy Corgan for a Christmas song on a Chicago station.
All of this was chronicled in quirky, wordy posts on her blog – interspersed with late-night musings about casual misogyny in the media 📝, including against Courtney, handmade crafts and clothing auctions, candid pictures of outings with friends in Chicago... as well as periodic updates on the progress of her next opus: Opheliac.

God, too much to even begin to tell right now, and I’m recording anyway, but I can give you this update: I just finished yesterday recording violin parts and backing vocals for B. Corgan’s first single (...) More later, recording piano for my new track “GOD HELP ME”…why do I torture myself with my own self-inflicted drama…or is it a way of exorcizing…yes, I’ll go with that one for now…☠ (“Whirlwind...”, December 2004)

By that point, EA was starting to be more open about her conflicted relationship with what would later be diagnosed as bipolar disorder. The galaxy-brain moments, the trance of creative frenzies, the liminal high of going three days without sleep, the magic... the crippling sensitivity, the restless anxiety, the Zoloft that one both needs and hates, the ever-lurking suicidal thoughts. As EA gradually revealed over the course of 2004, Opheliac would be an exploration of the “mad woman” archetype. The title was a medical neologism for “the syndrome of Ophelia”, as in the tragic character from Hamlet 🔍, driven to insanity and ultimate self-destruction by the fuckboys who rule her life. Here's EA explaining it in her own words. 🎤 The album would dive into how psychiatry and romantic relationships are governed by old misogynistic tropes, and how the “mentally ill” label is used to silence and downplay the justified anger and hurt of abused women.
In a striking case of life imitating art (are you picking up on the theme yet?), this concept was about to become more painfully relevant than ever to EA's personal existence.
CW: implied partner abuse, suicidal ideation.

DISENCHANTMENT: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

In the lake, you will find me Behind your house, behind your house (...) My ocean is bluer than the heart you had to break My sea is deeper than your lake (“In the Lake”, 2005 🎵)

Where were we? Ah yes, the Christmas song with Billy Corgan at the end of 2004. Around that time, EA was also recording violin parts and backing vocals for his upcoming solo album. 🎵 They had presumably connected through Courtney, they both lived in Chicago, I guess something clicked.
In January of 2005, EA abruptly went off of her meds, broke up with her live-in boyfriend-slash-bassist, packed up her violin and corsets, and moved into Corgan's mansion. In March of 2005, she posted very melancholy lyrics about drowning in a lake to haunt a deceitful lover. The post was entitled“In The Lake (The Zoloft is calling my name...)” 🎤📝. Later, after the song was released as a B-side, EA disclosed that it had been intended as a public suicide note 📝.
Blog entries from that time touched on a “whirlwind of action and emotion”, “changing residences” and feeling like “you're falling through the air, but you don't know if you'll hit the water or the rocks” 📝. But, EA being an expert vague-poster, her posts remained very elusive about what was going on, who was involved, and how it impacted her. (The specifics were pieced together years later, by fan-led forensic efforts – which, obviously, involved ascertaining the existence of an actual body of water in Billy Corgan's backyard 📝).
Whatever happened over the course of those months was never disclosed explicitly by EA, but is widely assumed to have inspired songs such as “Liar” 🎤, “Misery Loves Company”, “Let the Record Show”, and “I Know Where You Sleep”, , recorded that same spring. A solid quarter of the Opheliac tracklist – which was shaping out to be decidedly darker and grittier than Enchant.

You can lie to the papers, you can hide from the press (...) I know your tainted flesh, I know your filthy soul I know each trick you played, whore you laid, dream you stole I know the bed in the room in the wall in the house Where you got what you wanted and ruined it all I know the secrets that you keep I know where you sleep

Even as her personal blog posts grew more somber, nihilistic, and generally fed-up in the face of what she called “the worst breakdown of her young life”, even as the songwriting process had her rummage through traumatic memories [CW: CSA] 🎤, and even as the Corgan-adjacent trauma was compounded by various rushed moves and broken friendships over that summer and fall, EA remained remarkably (some might say frantically) prolific.
Other than progress on Opheliac, 2005 saw multiple violin collaborations with alternative bands, numerous auctions of, mh, visually strident “punktorian” fashion pieces 📝🪞 (“STRESS COUTURE!” 🦠📺), and an updated re-issue of her 2001 poetry collection, complete with audiobook. ("...The book has been selling like crack in a limo with Courtney Love (and believe me, I know)." - Ooooof, EA. Low-hanging fruit. 📝)
In October, she started recruiting:

WANTED: Hot goth bitch to join touring band of other hot goth bitches. (...) Must be able to: sing backing vocals in a wide range with excellent pitch, growl à la Kittie, handle minimal keyboard parts, push buttons/turn knobs with killer attitude, be extremely comfortable on stage in bloomers and a corset, reside in the Chicago area, know the difference between a crumpet and a scone, have at least one hidden talent. 📝

By winter, most of her blog post titles were written in THIS FORMAT!!!!!!!! In December, she announced that “Emilie Autumn and the Bloody Crumpets” would preview Opheliac live at the Double Door in Chicago, on Friday the 13th (ooh!) of the following month. “We are coming to destroy your world,” the post threatened enticingly. "Miss it and suffer. We really don't want to hurt you.” The flyer advertised a dress code:

Masquerade, Ophelias, green girls, Victorian insane asylum escapees, princes of Denmark, bloomered harlots and rogues – general burlesque ribaldry!

Exit diaphanous butterfly wings and elven tiaras 📺, enter the haunted murder-doll with the blood-red heart on her cheek; out with Elizabethan chamber-pop, in with Victoriandustrial. The fairy had to die to make way for the iconic, the sublime, the tragic, the ridiculous, the positively bananas...

OPHELIAC ERA: LET THE RECORD SHOW

EA: What's more interesting, and what's more fun to watch, than a crazy girl's self-destruction? Nothing. Nothing in the world. (The Opheliac Companion, 2008 🎤)
If I'm going down Then I'm going down good I'm going down Then I'm going down clean (...) The prettiest broken girl you've ever seen (“Let the Record Show”, 2006 🎵)

CW: mania, self-harm, abortion, suicidal ideation, hospitalization.
If you haven't gathered as much by now, what fans were witnessing in real time on EA's blog, without necessarily seeing it, was the ebb and flow of a months-long manic episode. That's not me armchair-diagnosing: EA herself has discussed penning and recording a lot of her best material in a trance-like rush, “when you're writing on the ceiling because there's not enough paper to contain your thoughts”.

...Once I became stable and healthy, I realized that I had no memory of how a great deal of my music had been created. I had written and even programmed most of my best work in a similar manic state, and, when stark raving sane, I didn’t know how to do it anymore, because the part of me that really composes never needed to know how to do it, it just did. (2019 Instagram post 📝)

It's not an uncommon experience for artists with bipolar disorder. Before you burn so hot that you wind up in the back of an ambulance, and/or before the pendulum swings back towards debilitating depression, the boundless energy, heightened sensitivity, and unexpected thought patterns associated with mania can lead to periods of prolific and effortless creation.
Mania also has the potential to lower your inhibitions, making you more bodacious, more quick-witted – more dazzling, more fun at parties, more dramatic. All traits that are valued in the entertainment industry, especially one that, with the rise of social media, was coming to rely increasingly on parasocial engagement and “personal branding”. Why would you refrain from oversharing, overreacting, overworking, overpromising, overcurating a fantasy image of yourself... when new industry models reward exactly that?
My point is that, in retrospect, “the end was built into the beginning”: all the things that would make fans go “What the hell, Emilie!” in subsequent years were brewing below the surface before the album even dropped.
In the summer of 2006, EA said goodbye to her Chicago friends and returned to California, where she moved in with her new beau, another Illinois-born guitarist with an impressive forehead: Brendon Small, of Dethklok/Metalocalypse quasi-fame. (If you're into that sort of thing: the orchestral strings on “Detharmonic”? Yep, that's EA! 🎵📺)
In September, Opheliac was released into the world. Expectations were high... And many sources agree it was a goddamn banger. It was ultrafemme, ultradark, unhinged, hilarious and deadly and brilliant. It had gnarly kitchen-sink drums layered under angelic string harmonies, fauxperatic swells, and guttural screaming. It had sarcastically self-aware double-entendres that were also literary references that were also musical notation jokes. You get the idea: it was the album that a small, but sizable demographic of tormented millennial teens had been waiting to obsess over. Some time in late 2005 or so, EA had signed with German label Trisol Records, which gave her access to better promotion, press coverage and touring opportunities in Europe when the album came out in the fall. By winter, she was on the cover of alternative mags, and the talk of the town on underground music webzines. Within a year, she was embarking on the first of three almost-back-to-back European tours.
It was around that time that EA started giving her fanbase a more defined, aesthetically on-brand identity. EA, funnily enough, disliked the term “fan” due to its proximity to “fanatic”, and started calling individual supporters “muffins” or the "Bloomer Brigade". (After The Book came out in 2009, they would become “Plague Rats”. You know how pets get weird if you re-name them too many times? I wonder if the same is true of fans.) Meanwhile, EA's fanbase as a collective – as well as her home, her recording studio, her online forum and her inner brainspace... – became canonically known as “The Asylum”. Cue infinite jokes about her fans being “committed.”
And they really were, in a slightly more intense way than your average indie-alternative fanbase. Many fans enthusiastically adopted facets of EA's mannerisms and lingo, which gave the fandom a definite LARP-ing bend; and the official forum did, in fact, offer a subforum for Asylum-themed role-play. (In a number of ways, the Asylum was basically Juggalos for socially anxious theater goths. Substitute the clown facepaint, Faygo, and hatchets for cheek-hearts, Earl Grey tea, and obsolete medical tools.) While there was always some side-eye at the embarrassingly candid, often very young Plague Rats who took the Asylum thing too seriously (always speaking in character and worshipping the ground Mistress Emilie walked on), a lot of people were quite thrilled to play romantic Victorian madhouse with their new favorite artist. Live shows were like costume balls. The forum thrived.
It was like Opheliac had opened a portal to this vibrant and inclusive alternate dimension, which the community was now bringing to life in the real world. And each tour brought more inmates (muffins, Plague Rats, you get it) to the Asylum. “Spread the Plague!” was the name of the game.
So, on paper, in the three years that followed Opheliac, EA kind of won the high-concept-indie-artist equivalent of the lottery. After going through her own personal hell of abuse, major upheavals and serious mental health crises, she had decided to gamble on a radically different tone and musical direction. She came out the other side with critical acclaim for her soul-baring record, tons of live shows with a badass girl squad, photoshoots so iconic they pop up on random Pinterest boards to this day, snazzy corporate sponsorships (including Manic Panic and RockLove Jewelry), and an exponentially growing fanbase who couldn't get enough of whatever she had to give. And she gave quite a lot!
Within those three years, in between tours, EA released A Bit O' This & That 🎵 (a compilation of demos and back-catalogue curiosities), Laced / Unlaced (a full-instrumental double album - one side was the baroque recordings from her late teens, the other was demented, distortion-heavy classical-prog), and three EPs packed with new songs, covers, remixes and bonus content. There was also a deluxe reissue of Enchant, without the puzzle, but with a brand new booklet of handwritten lyrics and marginalia. All came in lovely inter-matching digipaks that really made you want to collect them all – much like the handmade merch 📝🪞 that EA still sold on some legs of her tours. She spent time with the fans at most shows, eventually holding meet-and-greets and private showcases for VIP ticket-holders. She also released “The Opheliac Companion”, a kind of “director's commentary” of the album – roughly 10 hours worth of lyrical deep dives, microphone specs, tangents within tangents within tangents, and whacky (tipsy, sometimes unintelligible) banter between EA and her sound engineer🎤. On top of all that, she wrote, designed and self-published a fully illustrated 200-page coffee-table book, the first print of which sold out within a year. Not bad!
Of course, things that seem to good to be true usually are: at this stage in the story, EA is never as enthusiastically prolific as when her personal life is falling apart behind the scenes.
In the three years that followed Opheliac, along with soaring success, EA got to experience: more rapid-cycling between manic phases and the pits of depression, multiple harrowing medication adjustments, an very-much-unwanted pregnancy followed by a traumatic abortion, a suicide attempt, at least one inpatient stay, and a break-up in the aftermath of it all. There were also a few physical health scares that required hospitalization. On one occasion, she had to go off all her meds cold-turkey when they were confiscated at the EU border right before the start of a tour. In some pictures from her summer 2007 festival appearances, you can make out faint self-harm scars on her thigh through the layered stockings. (Obvious CW, for the morbidly curious.🪞(But if you weren't, would you still be reading?))
So yeah. EA was not doing great.
She didn't share any of these struggles with her fans in real time; her posts were all droll banter and updates on tours and releases. Most of what I just listed was disclosed in late 2009, in the autobiographical part of The Book. (The Book gets at least one instalment of its own. Bear with me, there's a LOT to unpack.) And The Book, while never specifying a timeline, kind of really made it sound like the Bad Stuff (the abortion, the suicide attempt, the hospital stay) had taken place a while back, before the release of Opheliac. In fact, EA plainly stated as much, citing “getting locked up and being put in the asylum" 📝 as the reason for the shift in sound between Enchant and Opheliac.
She repeatedly referred to herself as “stabilized” and “now properly medicated” in interviews. As far as the fanbase was concerned, she had triumphed over her abusers, turned trauma into beauty, and lived to pass on her story of survival. And now she had found balance and community and true acceptance of herself, all that good stuff – and all was fine and dandy within the Asylum. On stage, she sang about blind rage and all-consuming despair and general hopelessness, but she didn't actually feel like that – not anymore, right?
This narrative was both inspirational and quite convenient for the fans. We love our Mad Hatters 🎵📺, our Rainmen, our manic pixies. We love and celebrate “crazy” when it manifests as outside-the-box brilliance and/or bubbly eccentricity. But in my experience, even in spaces that ostensibly focus on "destigmatizing mental illness", positivity and support can quickly turn to rejection and awkwardness when your “quirks” manifest in more challenging ways – like through erratic decisions, aggressive or dishonest behavior, or increasingly untethered beliefs about yourself and the world. No matter how much people claim to “embrace the madness”, it just isn't that fun or in good taste for a large group to play-act ~ whimsical insanity ~ with someone who is for realsies mentally falling apart.
Before time has had time to do its thing, "revisiting your trauma" is just called ruminating. And it's rarely good for you, even when you commit some of greatest art in the process.
I think fans had to assume that there was some critical distance in EA's act, that these extreme negative emotions were all theater – because if they weren't, then the Asylum wasn't an empowering performance about healing from past hurt. It was more like a years-long reality show in which a woman picked at her wounds publicly, again and again, in real time, to the cheers of oblivious strangers who thought they were watching a play.
All I'm saying is that EA was essentially still in the thick of raw trauma when she became a poster-child for overcoming it; that the last thing a person needs, at such a vulnerable stage in their life, is an intense parasocial relationship with sad goth teenagers, let alone one centered around romanticized retellings of their own darkest moments; and that if more people had declined to actively engage in pretend-play that toed the line of self-harm... there is a chance that things might have turned out differently. Maybe EA would still be a successful musician whose career isn't plagued by conflict and mutual disappointment, and maybe some fans wouldn't have wasted years getting red in the face at an over-exposed mentally ill woman for not getting her shit together.
OKAY, THAT GOT HEAVY (and preachy), apologies and thank you for your patience. I will now quit my soapboxing, resume telling the story, and let you draw your own conclusion as our dark plot unravels.

EPILOGUE: DEAD IS THE NEW ALIVE

A quick taste of the poison A quick twist of the knife When the obsession with death, the obsession with death Becomes a way of life ("Dead is the New Alive", 2006 🎵)
I am still over-glorified My reasons to live Were my reasons to die But at least they were mine (“306”, 2006)

In summation: becoming an overnight success thanks to your darkest trauma will do things to person's mind.
As EA kept hyping up how much her fans meant to her, and what an amazing and inclusive and free-thinking motley crew the Asylum was, she was also growing more and more controlling of her increasingly large (and opinionated, and overall rather young) fanbase – and more generally, of the way people ought to talk to and about her.
It was during the Opheliac era that she started reveling in made-up stories about her own life. Then came the habit of losing her shit on fans that she perceived as ungrateful or disrespectful. It was also then that massive kerfuffles became routine on the merch and planning front, and EA's creative output started to routinely fall short of her promises. The more fans started raising legitimate complaints, the more defensive and uncompromising EA became in her public interactions. The more people expressed weariness of the Asylum theme, or started questioning EA's hot takes on mental health and feminism, the harder she doubled down on the Asylum lore and fictional universe. Which is where the drama really starts.
Alright, the time has come. Let's talk about The Book.
...Actually, let's not. I'm nearing my character limit, and you could probably use a break and a stretch after making it this far. This is our intermission, and we'll get to The Book in our next instalment.
Thank you for reading! Stay tuned if you're interested in how it all comes tumbling down.

I’m a transfer student who applied to both schools. Unfortunately, UCLA admitted me for my alternate major I put on the application. I’m so torn in between both schools and don’t know which one to pick. My career goals are to break into consulting or banking. I signed an offer from EY a month ago, and confirmed with them that my offer will not be revoked regardless of the major I picked. Is data science and statistics at ucla worth it? Or should I just pick economics at Santa Barbara?

I’m a current junior picking classes for next year. I am trying to put an emphasis on STEM classes and mimic some plebe year classes. So far the important classes i have already taken are:
ENC1101 and ENC1102 (dual enrollment english) pre calc probability and statistics algebra geometry chemistry marine science ap environmental science then the usual history classes as well as government and economics
I have maintained all A’s with a few B’s here and there except for in pre calc I didn’t do too well. I am planning on retaking over the summer to improve my grades and knowledge.
Since I have all of my graduation requirements, I pretty much have free range to pick whatever classes I want next year. Any recs?
I have the opportunity to take AP Calc AB or MAC1105 (college algebra).. or both?
My school doesn’t offer AP Physics so I would have to take honors physics or Biology for dual enrollment
I am also taking some dual enrollment classes through embry riddle- Principals of Aeronautics and Unmanned Aircraft
Basically I am just wondering what classes would hold the most weight and show that I am challenging myself/ preparing for plebe year
Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading!

Tldr, worried about bf and his transition, feeling guilty for being almost as desperate as he is for him to start hormones.
This might be a little long but I'm honestly just so overwhelmed and I've not really got anyone in my life who understands any of this so they can't offer much in the way of advice. Using this account as my boyfriend knows my main as we both were part of the same sub asking questions about our upcoming exams and uni courses.
Me (cis 18f) and my boyfriend (trans 18m) have been together for 4 years, so since we were 14. He's been out since he was 12, briefly back in the closet between 13/14 due to unsupportive parents so I've witness his transition thus far and basically always knew him as a guy so nothing about it has ever bothered me and I'd consider myself quite well-versed in terms of knowledge of transition, dysphoria, etc.
I've always worried about him. I have very bad anxiety and between due to his dysphoria and home situation he has struggled with a lot of mental health issues. Thankfully, he's been doing a lot better in the last year or 2, but his dysphoria is still kicking him in the ass.
Medical transition is available in my country, but very difficult to access. Through the public system the waiting list seems to be over a decade long, and you can't even get onto it until you're 17. Even when they eventually see you, you're waiting at least a year and going through very intense and invasive interviews, including 1 where you are required to bring your parents (so basically if they don't want you to transition, even if you're 30, they can just say no to the interview or lie about you to the interviewer and you'll be denied). There's only I think 3 private endocrinologists who are still willing to take on trans patients, all with insane fees, min. 9 month long waiting lists, as well as the time and cost of getting 3 seperate psychologists/psychiatrists to diagnose/reasses your diagnosis of gender dysphoria before they'll even meet with you, and at least another 6 months and lots of interviews and the cost of blood tests etc before they'll prescribe you hormones or anything so it's incredibly difficult. He was planning to start with Gender GP this summer but it seems like they've gone to shit and might not be a viable option anymore. This has led to him considering DIY transition.
He's doing his research and everything but he seems sold on it and I can understand that he's desperate but I'm so worried about his safety on it and the possibility of him getting into trouble over it.
I know a lot of people would just tell him to wait it out, he's only young blah blah blah but most of then people he's been able to talk to were either lucky enough to be able to begin their transition already or didn't even know it was an option until a year or less before they started taking hormones. His dysphoria is incredibly severe and he's been waiting 6 years already. Going into uni without even beginning the process I'm honestly sure from the way he's talking that he'd get really depressed again, and almost definitely wouldn't socialise basically at all. Literally all he wants is to transition and move on with his life instead of being so hyperaware of himself all the time.
I also feel so guilty because as worried as I am about him doing DIY I'm also desperate for him to transition. He doesn't know any of this because I don't want to influence his decision. I want to preface this by saying that I'm not embarrassed or anything by the fact that he's trans. I literally could not care less. However, while he passes perfectly outside of school uniform and I do not see him this way at all, to a lot of people he passes as a 13/14 year old boy, not an 18 year old young man. In contrast, I look my age, and depending on how I do my makeup and dress I look a little bit older. The older we get the more I feel like everyone is staring at us if we're holding hands or anything else. In bed and even just cuddling etc it's already the case that there's so much to be careful with, everything is always focused on me which I understand I don't mind, although I do feel a bit guilty sometimes it's completely his choice. I don't mind have to be careful, letting him lead cuddle positioning and sticking to where we're at in bed, but it's getting to the stage where I often feel uncomfortable holding hands. The thing is that he'd notice too if I tried to do it less often etc because I'm naturally very clingy. But there was a time for example we must've kissed or something at the skateboard and some guys that couldn't have been much older than us basically took him aside to talk to him thinking he was a lot younger than me and needed help getting out of a relationship he wasn't realising was inappropriate. He's actually older than me by a few weeks so nothing wierd there at all. Even some people we used to be sort of friends with decided it was hilarious despite us repeatedly expressing how uncomfortable it made us to scream down the street that I was a pedophile every time they saw us.
I was so excited to be able to move on from that. I know T doesn't work instantly or anything but at least he would be more comfortable and finally start to look older so I would be less self conscious. If anybody asked about it we were planning to just say he comes from a family of late bloomers, which isn't really a lie, and hopefully it wouldn't be too hard to believe once he started to get a little facial hair etc, as he doesn't want everyone at uni to know that he's trans and doesn't want to have to answer questions from everyone he meets. Part of me wants to encourage him, part of me wants him to do literally anything but DIY. I feel so bad for wanting him to start so desperately and I have no intention of leaving him or anything don't get me wrong but I have no idea how I'd get through another 10 years like this, even if he could.
I'm not even sure how or if I should talk to him about this or how to feel any better about it.
I know I'm young too but part of it is that there's no way we'd get married or have kids before he's been on hormones for a few years and had top, and gotten his name and gender marker changed legally. By the time he could start hormones through the public system we'd be 29 min. I want to get married and have kids and things some day and I literally cannot imagine doing it without him so again I'll stay with him no matter what but its a worry that's been playing on my mind.
We've also got our final exams less than 2 months so I'm swamped with studying which is making it even harder to work through any of this or be there for him adequately.
Literally any opinions or advice or anything from anyone who's been through anything similar would be greatly appreciated but I also I just really needed to vent

Madeleine announces she is going back home
* Sarah Palmer behaves oddly *
- I have my apartment, my job…I intend to back home tomorrow, by car.
- Tomorrow? - Asks Sarah
- Oh.. we understand… - Says Leland while he and Sarah stares each other.
- Yes...we understand.
Leland keeps staring at Sarah for while. After some talking, Leland stares at her finger and then kisses her hand.- S2E07
Twin Peaks Season 2
Episode 1 – The Giant and the Old Waiter are the same person.
Dale was shot and the Fireman appears.
“Where do you came from?”
“The question is, where have you gone? I will tell you three things: There is a man in a smiling bag. The owls aren’t what they seem. Without chemistry, he points. “
He,then, took Dale’s Ring.
“We want to help you. One last thing: Leo locked inside Hungry Horse. There is a clue inside Leo’s
house.”
Madeleine is wearing a Blue bathrobe with a flower and had a dream with Bob and in the same day Bob takes total control of Leland’s body, and starts to singing a strange music that makes no sense:“Mairzy Doats”. Interesting to note that when he arrives at Great Hotel he sings the same music and The Horns Bothers dance and looks like Bob sings and their Black Lodges friends dance. Spooky….
Note: It looks like, in Twin Peaks, Homophone Lyrics and Poems is a THING: Black Lodge Language, The Poem "Fire,Walk With Me".
Now, when Leland sings this He is already BOB and we can see the aesthetic of the lyric: isn't a Black Lodge aesthetic to you? (If the words sound queer and funny to your ear)
I know a ditty nutty as a fruitcake
Goofy as a goon and silly as a loon
Some call it pretty, others call it crazy
But they all sing this tune:
Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
Yes! Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
If the words sound queer and funny to your ear, a little bit jumbled and jivey
Sing "Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy"
Oh! Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you-oo?
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
At the Hospital, when Jacques Renault was strangled by Leland Palmer, Dr. Jacoby felt the smell of scorched engine oil.Andrew Packard described the same smell when he found the entrance of the Black Lodge. [ TSHOTP -Twin Peaks Gazette 1927 – Our Strange Camping Trip.]
“We entered the clearing where we planned to stop for some refreshment. A circle of trees stood in its center that we identified as sycamores.Not fully grown, more like striplings, twelve in number but uniform in size. There is also a strange smell in the air, like burning oil from a seized-up engine with a hint of sufur to it.I noticed a small seeping pool of thick black sludge in the center of the circle and confirmed this as the source of odor we noticed.”
Nearby this region there is a lake named Big Pearl Lake where Leland’s Grandfather had a summer house and their neighbour used to be Robertson [ R B T letters from Ronette’s, Teresa Banks’ and Laura’s nails] From - [Episode 3]
When Dale was sleeping, the Giant appears :
“One person saw the third man. Three person saw him ,yes.But not his body.One only known to you is read to talk.” [ It was Sarah, Madeleine and Ronette. Dale was the forth person].
a) Episode 14 – Windom Earle
“All knowledge is abused, and the more knowledge, the greater power is obtained by those who seek power with all means “ - The Knowledge of Live in The Struggle between Good and Evil, Page 140.
Was Windom possessed by Bob when he killed Caroline? He likes Owls and he was the one who took Dale to Black Lodge – if he was possessed by BOB, it was a revenge against Dale to took him to Black Lodge? When Leland Palmer was possessed at the jail, he said: “I have this thing for knives. Just like what happened to you in Pittsburgh that time”.
Remember that Douglas Milford said in the letter:
“We are utterly incapable of knowing their true intent and their true intent may not be to wish us well. It may be that they’re here to guide or even help our evolution. There may even be a good and evil side at play here and we , the human race, is the game.”
Perhaps everything happened according to the plan from the White Lodge: Laura’s death and Dale Cooper into the Black Lodge who leads us to Bob’s death. In Fire Walk With Me, Laura’s good Side was saved -because Season 3 clarifies that she is a daughter of the White Lodge-and also the Leland’s by the time of his death - you can see , in the Movie, that there was a good side on him when Bob gave a break and he expressed his love for Laura, a father love.
We are told that he has been looking for The Black Lodge [ Episode 19 and 20].On Episode 18 Gordon Cole said that Windom has associations with The Blue Book Project and was found a chemistry in his blood named HALOPERIDOL the same One- Armed Man uses to keep entity Mike calmed. So, Windom never was crazy but possessed and it can be any entity from Black Lodge.
MY OPINION: It explains why he was looking for the Black Lodge: the entity – Bob or else or both – possessed him for any reason and he had many glimpses of Black Lodge, and visions and dreams and became obsessed or he always wanted find it and a black entity found its great opportunity for he was a bad person, anyway – he never showed any remorse for Caroline or Cooper.
Major Garland Brigs to Sherrif Truman and Agent Cooper about Windom Earle and Blue Book Project [Season 2 Episode 20]
Major: Earle was the best and brightest among us but, when our attention turned from outer space to the wooded areas surrounding Twin Peaks,he became destructively obsessive.Possessive of his assignments,finally violent.He was removed from the project.I found this in the project archives.
Windom Earle voice in a Tape:
These...These evil sorcerers dugpas, they're called,they cultivate evil for the sake of evil, nothing else.They express themselves in darkness for darkness without leavening motive. Uh...Now, this...This ardent purity allows them to access a secret placewhere the cultivation of evil proceeds
in exponential fashion,and with it, the furtherance of evil's resulting power.This place of power is tangible,and as such, it can be found, entered and perhaps utilized in some fashion.The dugpas have many names for it,but chief among them, ahem, is the...Is the Black Lodge.You don't believe me, do you?You think I'm mad.Overworked.
Dale Cooper: Gentlemen, when Windom Earle arrived in Twin Peaks,I assumedhe had come for vengeance.For me.But I miscalculated.He has insinuated himself into the lives of people I care for.He has murdered innocents.He has engaged us in subterfuge and red herring.A fish I don't particularly care for.But all of these acts are merely camouflage.He's been after something else all along: the Black Lodge.
Note:
Dugpa, in Theosophical literature, is a term used generally as a synonym for a black magician or sorcerer, frequently referred to as "Brother of the Shadow."
Source: https://theosophy.wiki/en/Dugpa
The dugpas were a society of "evil sorcerers" who cultivated "evil for the sake of evil." They had access to a place of power to streamline this process, known predominantly as the Black Lodge.According to Russian author Helena P. Blavatsky, founder of the Theosophical Society, the dugpas were Tibetan Buddhist sect dedicated to cultivating the left-hand path, referring to the Drukpa lineage of Tibetan Buddhism.
Source: Here
The Drukpa or Drukpa Kagyu lineage, sometimes called Dugpa in older sources, is a branch of the Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism.
Source: Here
The dugpas, according to the novel The Devil’s Guard, are master hypnotists who seek to take over the world. They can “possess” the bodies (and minds) of others and easily dominate those with “weak wills.” These kinds of people, the book states, “render themselves unable to resist the imposition of other wills on theirs.”
This explanation for the dugpas’ ability to possess others meshes perfectly with what happens in Twin Peaks. Leland Palmer was weak-willed and invited Bob inside him. What’s more, Laura Palmer would have been targeted as a dugpa-host because, as The Devil’s Guard explains, dugpas control others by using “the self-destroying acts of whomever they would conquer.” Dugpas will attempt to cultivate a person’s evil side. The book elaborates on this point in a footnote, explaining that “sudden criminal outbursts of otherwise apparently sane people” can be attributed to possession by dugpas. Here, we see that a crucial piece of the Twin Peaks mythology—the possession of human beings by evil spirits— finds its roots in The Devil’s Guard (and by extension, Theosophy).
Dugpas, the book reveals, are agents of a place called The Black Lodge. In Twin Peaks, Windom Earle also described dugpas as having access to the Black Lodge. In fact, the dialog describing dugpas in both show and novel match exactly: In The Devil’s Guard, dugpas are defined as “sorcerers who cultivate evil for the sake of evil!” Earle, seen on an old video recording, explains, “These, uh, these evil sorcerers, uh, dugpas, they’re called . . . they cultivate evil for the sake of evil, nothing else.”
Source: Here
Final Dossier About Windom Earle by Tamara Preston
As a young man, Windom Earle was, by any definition, a prodigiously talented individual. A chess grandmaster by fourteen, admitted to the University of Pennsylvania at sixteen, a graduate at eighteen, Earle obtained a master’s in criminal justice at Penn State and then applied to and was accepted by the Bureau as a trainee. (On his application, he cites having seen, at the age of ten, the popular 1951 film I Was a Communist for the F.B.I. as the pivotal inspiration for his law enforcement career.) After he completed training at Quantico with historically high marks, Earle’s first field assignment came in the mid-sixties, as a liaison and security officer between the Bureau and evolving elements of what had long been known as Project Blue Book, during which time we now know he crossed paths with Douglas Milford. He also was a Founding member of Blue Rose.
(…)
In the early 1980s, an investigation into a murder by a potential serial killer—which we now have strong reason to suspect was a series of killings committed by Earle himself—brought young agent Cooper to the Pittsburgh Bureau office for his first field assignment. (...) While the attack [ against Caroline] appeared to be a classic “crime of passion”— apparently his intention and, perhaps, what he hoped would become the foundation of his legal defense—Windom Earle didn’t count on the fact that Agent Cooper had by this time privately realized that Earle himself was the serial killer they had been chasing all along. Caroline, it seems, reached this same conclusion, also on her own, and confirmed it when she and Cooper finally examined the facts together. It’s now clear that when Earle took his wife’s life and nearly finished Cooper’s, he was acting to prevent their revealing his guilt to the Bureau.
​
b) An explanation to Josie Packard Death
“Coop, what happened to dead Josie?”
By a Reddit User Alewort
There was scene filmed for FWWM but not released that depicted (through a body double actress) Josie's body lying on the floor of the Red Room with her head under the curtain. This suggests that it is her head alone that is in the knob, that she tried to escape the Red Room under the curtain instead of an actual path and wound up stuck. It would then make sense that the missing weight is in the Black Lodge.
Here
Hawk said that “Every spirit must walk through Black Lodge in search of the perfection, but if you face the Black Lodge with an Imperfect Courage, it will annihilate your soul.” From [Season 2 Episode 11].

The court decision summarises the evidence from the official investigation, the two Opus Dei managers of Dosnon, an expert from a national catering union, and a number of former students in the years up to 2001, when Cathérine left. It’s all worth reading. Here are a few selected points.

1. Opus Dei defendants claimed that numerary assistants started work shortly before 9am but investigators did secret surveillance to find some of them in uniform and active at 6.30am.
   
   1. The worked hours declared by Dosnon were well short of those necessary to run Couvrelles and Garnelles, and well short of the hours declared in the testimonies to the court from the former students.
2. Some of the work of maintaining the centers didn’t line up with the syllabus that the catering school was supposed to follow for the catering certification. For example, dinners were not a la carte and residents served themselves, meaning that women missed out on practical training that the syllabus had provided for.
   
3. Some of the “practical training” was not supervised, given the hours of supervision declared, and so it could not be said to be practical training – just work necessary to keep the houses running.
   
4. On p47, the practice of working 10 hours a day on Saturday and Sunday have “the origins of which seem to go back to a very ancient era”.
   
5. The Opus Dei defendants argued that the unpaid work was voluntary. However, on p51, the court found:
   

“the existence of a salaried employment relationship does not depend on the will expressed by the parties, nor the name they gave their agreement, but the actual conditions in which the workers' activity is carried out. A person's religious commitment is not [relevant]”
In other words, it was not OK to treat some hours of work as voluntary and some as under a contract of employment when the work was the same.

Survey overview

• 282 people have participated
• 276 have selected their favorite album (97.9%)
• 253 have voted for favorite non-album songs (89.7%)
• 201 have given their recommendations (71.3%)

Favorite Album

#	Album Name	Votes Count	%
1	Resonance	127	45%
2	Empathy	69	24.5%
3	Universe	51	18.1%
4	Golden Age	29	10.3%
5	Not selected	6	2.1%

Notes:
For most of the voting, Resonance was in lead and had around 50% of the votes, but by the end of the survey Universe and Empathy fans have shifted the tides. Regardless of their efforts, however, NCT's 2020 magnum opus stands unrivaled at 45% and 127 (!) votes total.

Disclaimer: people that have voted for a particular album in the first question will be referred to as "[album name] fans" for the purposes of the later review and 6 people that haven't selected their favorite album are "unbiased".

Album statistics

Empathy (2018)

• Favored by 24.5% of the respondents (69 people)
• 279/282 have selected their favorite songs from Empathy

#	Song	Total Count	Total %
1	The 7th Sense	188	67.38%
2	Baby Don't Stop	167	59.86%
3	BOSS	124	44.44%
4	TOUCH	89	31.90%
5	YESTODAY	87	31.18%
6	Without You	80	28.67%
7	GO	64	22.94%
8	INTRO: Neo Got My Back	50	17.92%
9	Dream in a Dream	50	17.92%
10	Black on Black	43	15.41%
11	Timeless	34	12.19%
12	YESTODAY (Extended Version)	21	7.53%
13	Without You (Chinese Version)	21	7.53%

Notes:
To no surprise, The 7th Sense is the queen of NCT U discography with the highest percentage of votes per album (67.38%). It is also a track that is preferred by Empathy-lovers (69 people that have selected Empathy as their favorite album) a lot more than by those that chose a different album (24% difference between the two groups, only two more songs have a similar statistic). For 205 people that have selected another album, the difference between The 7th Sense and Baby Don't Stop is only 5 votes!
For 6 people that have not selected their favorite album, BOSS is their favored track.

#	Song	Empathy fans	EF %	Others	O %	Favored by	Difference	Unbiased voters	UB %
1	The 7th Sense	59	85.51%	126	61.46%	Empathy Fans	24.04%	3	60%
2	Baby Don't Stop	44	63.77%	121	59.02%	Empathy Fans	4.74%	2	40%
3	BOSS	29	42.03%	91	44.39%	Non-Empathy Fans	2.36%	4	80%
4	TOUCH	22	31.88%	67	32.68%	Non-Empathy Fans	0.80%	0	0%
5	YESTODAY	22	31.88%	65	31.71%	Empathy Fans	0.18%	0	0%
6	Without You	21	30.43%	56	27.32%	Empathy Fans	3.12%	3	60%
7	GO	21	30.43%	42	20.49%	Empathy Fans	9.95%	1	20%
8	INTRO: Neo Got My Back	11	15.94%	37	18.05%	Non-Empathy Fans	2.11%	2	40%
9	Dream in a Dream	10	14.49%	39	19.02%	Non-Empathy Fans	4.53%	1	20%
10	Black on Black	8	11.59%	33	16.10%	Non-Empathy Fans	4.50%	2	40%
11	Timeless	8	11.59%	24	11.71%	Non-Empathy Fans	0.11%	2	40%
12	YESTODAY (Extended Version)	8	11.59%	13	6.34%	Empathy Fans	5.25%	0	0%
13	Without You (Chinese Version)	2	2.90%	19	9.27%	Non-Empathy Fans	6.37%	0	0%

Resonance (2020)

• Favored by 45% of the respondents (127)
• 279/282 have selected their favorite songs from Resonance

#	Song	Total count	Total %
1	Faded In My Last Song	161	57.71%
2	90's Love	147	52.69%
3	Make a Wish (Birthday Song)	130	46.59%
4	Nectar	113	40.50%
5	Misfit	96	34.41%
6	From Home	88	31.54%
7	Déjà Vu	75	26.88%
8	Light Bulb	45	16.13%
9	Work It	45	16.13%
10	My Everything	41	14.70%
11	Music Dance	38	13.62%
12	I.O.U	32	11.47%
13	Volcano	32	11.47%
14	Raise The Roof	29	10.39%
15	Resonance	28	10.04%
16	Dancing in the Rain	25	8.96%
17	All About You	24	8.60%
18	Make A Wish (Birthday Song) (English Version)	22	7.89%
19	Interlude: Past to Present	10	3.58%
20	From Home (Korean Version)	6	2.15%
21	Outro: Dream Routine	4	1.43%
22	Interlude: Present to Future	2	0.72%

Notes:
Just barely clenching that victory, Faded In My Last Song comes out on top in Resonance! It was leading for a week, then went neck in neck with 90's Love, and only in the last 3 days of the survey, it had secured its victory with 14 votes lead. Much like with The 7th Sense, Faded In My Last Song is preferred by the Resonance album fans, although not by much.
For non-Resonance fans, their favorite track between Faded In My Last Song, 90's Love and Make a Wish is a lot closer compared to fans of the album, they also have highlighted Light Bulb as one of their faves more than Resonance fans. However, they have more appreciation for b-sides off the album as shown by their allegiance towards My Everything, Misfit and Volcano.
For 6 people that don't have a favorite album it is a first place tie between Faded In My Last Song, 90's Love, Make a Wish and Misfit.
Interlude: Present to Future is the only track on the survey that was voted for by people that have not selected Resonance as their favorite album (Empathy and Golden Age instead).

#	Song	Resonance fans	RF %	Others	O %	Favored by	Difference	Unbiased voters	UB %
1	Faded In My Last Song	77	60.63%	80	54.79%	Resonance Fans	5.84%	4	66.7%
2	90's Love	64	50.39%	79	54.11%	Non-Resonance Fans	3.72%	4	66.7%
3	Make a Wish (Birthday Song)	57	44.88%	69	47.26%	Non-Resonance Fans	2.38%	4	66.7%
4	Nectar	51	40.16%	61	41.78%	Non-Resonance Fans	1.62%	1	16.7%
5	Misfit	49	38.58%	43	29.45%	Resonance Fans	9.13%	4	66.7%
6	From Home	39	30.71%	46	31.51%	Non-Resonance Fans	0.80%	3	50.0%
7	Déjà Vu	37	29.13%	36	24.66%	Resonance Fans	4.48%	2	33.3%
8	Light Bulb	16	12.60%	28	19.18%	Non-Resonance Fans	6.58%	1	16.7%
9	Work It	23	18.11%	21	14.38%	Resonance Fans	3.73%	1	16.7%
10	My Everything	27	21.26%	12	8.22%	Resonance Fans	13.04%	2	33.3%
11	Music Dance	19	14.96%	19	13.01%	Resonance Fans	1.95%	0	0.0%
12	I.O.U	13	10.24%	19	13.01%	Non-Resonance Fans	2.78%	0	0.0%
13	Volcano	21	16.54%	10	6.85%	Resonance Fans	9.69%	1	16.7%
14	Raise The Roof	11	8.66%	18	12.33%	Non-Resonance Fans	3.67%	0	0.0%
15	Resonance	14	11.02%	12	8.22%	Resonance Fans	2.80%	2	33.3%
16	Dancing in the Rain	13	10.24%	12	8.22%	Resonance Fans	2.02%	0	0.0%
17	All About You	12	9.45%	12	8.22%	Resonance Fans	1.23%	0	0.0%
18	Make A Wish (Birthday Song) (English Version)	9	7.09%	13	8.90%	Non-Resonance Fans	1.82%	0	0.0%
19	Interlude: Past to Present	2	1.57%	8	5.48%	Non-Resonance Fans	3.90%	0	0.0%
20	From Home (Korean Version)	3	2.36%	3	2.05%	Resonance Fans	0.31%	0	0.0%
21	Outro: Dream Routine	3	2.36%	1	0.68%	Resonance Fans	1.68%	0	0.0%
22	Interlude: Present to Future	0	0.00%	2	1.37%	Non-Resonance Fans	1.37%	0	0.0%

Universe (2021)

• Favored by 18.1% of the respondents (51)
• 278/282 have selected their favorite songs from Universe

#	Song	Total count	Total %
1	OK!	178	64.03%
2	Round&Round	146	52.52%
3	Universe (Let's Play Ball)	117	42.09%
4	Miracle	99	35.61%
5	New Axis	88	31.65%
6	Dreaming	87	31.29%
7	Earthquake	64	23.02%
8	Beautiful	54	19.42%
9	Birthday Party	41	14.75%
10	Know Now	32	11.51%
11	Sweet Dream	24	8.63%
12	Good Night	16	5.76%
13	Vroom	13	4.68%

Notes:
Universe is the home to NCT's second most beloved track OK! More than ok, this song has won both fans and non-fans of the album alike with the lowest percentage difference between the two groups of people for a winning track. However, despite OK! winning rather easily at first glance, there is a storm brewing.
Round&Round and Universe (Let's Play Ball) both show very fun statistics. For Universe-album fans, Round&Round ranks as their favorite track, whereas for fans of the other albums, it is 3rd behind OK! and Universe (the song). It also shows a single biggest disparity between those two groups of people for a song at 41.48%.
Universe (Let's Play Ball), on the other hand, is the song that is vastly preferred by people that aren't as big on the album (see title track stats later), while Universe-album fans rank it 6th behind Round&Round, OK!, Miracle, New Axis and Dreaming). It is also the lowest scoring title track for the album it's in at #3.

#	Song	Universe fans	UF %	Others	O %	Favored by	Difference	Unbiased voters	UB %
1	OK!	35	68.63%	139	62.90%	Universe Fans	5.73%	4	66.67%
2	Round&Round	44	86.27%	99	44.80%	Universe Fans	41.48%	3	50.00%
3	Universe (Let's Play Ball)	12	23.53%	103	46.61%	Non-Universe Fans	23.08%	2	33.33%
4	Miracle	19	37.25%	80	36.20%	Universe Fans	1.06%	0	0.00%
5	New Axis	19	37.25%	67	30.32%	Universe Fans	6.94%	2	33.33%
6	Dreaming	18	35.29%	67	30.32%	Universe Fans	4.98%	2	33.33%
7	Earthquake	11	21.57%	51	23.08%	Non-Universe Fans	1.51%	2	33.33%
8	Beautiful	8	15.69%	44	19.91%	Non-Universe Fans	4.22%	2	33.33%
9	Birthday Party	5	9.80%	34	15.38%	Non-Universe Fans	5.58%	2	33.33%
10	Know Now	10	19.61%	22	9.95%	Universe Fans	9.65%	0	0.00%
11	Sweet Dream	6	11.76%	18	8.14%	Universe Fans	3.62%	0	0.00%
12	Good Night	6	11.76%	9	4.07%	Universe Fans	7.69%	1	16.67%
13	Vroom	1	1.96%	11	4.98%	Non-Universe Fans	3.02%	1	16.67%

Golden Age (2023)

• Favored by 10.3% of the respondents (29)
• 276/282 have selected their favorite songs from Universe

#	Song	Total count	Total %
1	PADO	177	64.13%
2	Baggy Jeans	143	51.81%
3	The BAT	120	43.48%
4	Call D	81	29.35%
5	Alley Oop	45	16.30%
6	Interlude: Oasis	44	15.94%
7	Kangaroo	43	15.58%
8	Golden Age	41	14.86%
9	That's Not Fair	40	14.49%
10	Not Your Fault	24	8.70%

Notes:
Last, but certainly not the least. Without much resistance, PADO secured its title as the most beloved track from Golden Age. Small but loyal group of Golden Age fans has about the same preference for album's b-sides as majority of the responders, however Call D and That's Not Fair were a bit more noticed by them compared to the rest of the people.
Baggy Jeans ranked 3rd for majority of the survey just behind The BAT, almost continuing Universe's trajectory, however by the end of the survey it had prevailed and showed who is the true apex.

#	Song	Golden Age fans	GAF %	Others	O %	Favored by	Difference	Unbiased voters	UB %
1	PADO	17	58.62%	157	64.88%	Non-GA Fans	6.26%	3	60%
2	Baggy Jeans	15	51.72%	124	51.24%	GA Fans	0.48%	4	80%
3	The BAT	11	37.93%	106	43.80%	Non-GA Fans	5.87%	3	60%
4	Call D	11	37.93%	68	28.10%	GA Fans	9.83%	2	40%
5	Alley Oop	6	20.69%	38	15.70%	GA Fans	4.99%	1	20%
6	Interlude: Oasis	5	17.24%	39	16.12%	GA Fans	1.13%	0	0%
7	Kangaroo	4	13.79%	39	16.12%	Non-GA Fans	2.32%	0	0%
8	Golden Age	6	20.69%	34	14.05%	GA Fans	6.64%	1	20%
9	That's Not Fair	7	24.14%	33	13.64%	GA Fans	10.50%	0	0%
10	Not Your Fault	1	3.45%	22	9.09%	Non-GA Fans	5.64%	1	20%

Title tracks

Disclaimer: For the purposes of the survey, I've defined title tracks as NCT U (or NCT 20xx) singles and promoted on music show tracks (otherwise we'd be having nearly the entirety of Empathy in here).

#	Song	Count	Album
1	The 7th Sense	188	Empathy
2	Baby Don't Stop	167	Empathy
3	90's Love	147	Resonance
4	Baggy Jeans	143	Golden Age
5	Make a Wish (Birthday Song)	130	Resonance
6	BOSS	124	Empathy
7	Universe (Let's Play Ball)	117	Universe
8	From Home	88	Resonance
9	Without You	80	Empathy
10	Beautiful	54	Universe
11	Work It	45	Resonance
12	Black on Black	43	Empathy
13	Golden Age	41	Golden Age
14	Resonance	28	Resonance

With alternate versions counting, Make a Wish would have 152 votes (new rank: #3), Without You would have 101 vote (new rank: #8) and From Home would have 94 votes (new rank: #9).
Meanwhile, among whole NCT tracks, Beautiful takes the crown, leaving Black on Black, Golden Age and Resonance in the dust. Justice for Work It.

Unit tracks

#	Song	Count	Unit	Album
1	Nectar	113	WayV	Resonance
2	Miracle	99	WayV	Universe
3	TOUCH	89	NCT 127	Empathy
4	Dreaming	87	NCT Dream	Universe
5	Déjà Vu	75	NCT Dream	Resonance
6	GO	64	NCT Dream	Empathy
7	Earthquake	64	NCT 127	Universe
8	Music, Dance	38	NCT 127	Resonance

Despite not being present on Empathy, WayV did not come to play and easily won the listeners over with both Nectar and Miracle.

Across all albums

#	Song	Count	Album
1	The 7th Sense	188	Empathy
2	OK!	178	Universe
3	PADO	177	Golden Age
4	Baby Don't Stop	167	Empathy
5	Faded In My Last Song	161	Resonance
6	90's Love	147	Resonance
7	Round&Round	146	Universe
8	Baggy Jeans	143	Golden Age
9	Make a Wish (Birthday Song)	130	Resonance
10	BOSS	124	Empathy
11	The BAT	120	Golden Age
12	Universe (Let's Play Ball)	117	Universe
13	Nectar	113	Resonance
14	Miracle	99	Universe
15	Misfit	96	Resonance
16	TOUCH	89	Empathy
17	From Home	88	Resonance
17	New Axis	88	Universe
19	YESTODAY	87	Empathy
19	Dreaming	87	Universe
21	Call D	81	Golden Age
22	Without You	80	Empathy
23	Déjà Vu	75	Resonance
24	GO	64	Empathy
24	Earthquake	64	Universe
26	Beautiful	54	Universe
27	INTRO: Neo Got My Back	50	Empathy
27	Dream in a Dream	50	Empathy
29	Light Bulb	45	Resonance
29	Work It	45	Resonance
29	Alley Oop	45	Golden Age
32	Interlude: Oasis	44	Golden Age
33	Black on Black	43	Empathy
33	Kangaroo	43	Golden Age
35	My Everything	41	Resonance
35	Birthday Party	41	Universe
35	Golden Age	41	Golden Age
38	That's Not Fair	40	Golden Age
39	Music Dance	38	Resonance
40	Timeless	34	Empathy
41	I.O.U	32	Resonance
41	Volcano	32	Resonance
41	Know Now	32	Universe
44	Raise The Roof	29	Resonance
45	Resonance	28	Resonance
46	Dancing in the Rain	25	Resonance
47	All About You	24	Resonance
47	Sweet Dream	24	Universe
47	Not Your Fault	24	Golden Age
50	Make A Wish (Birthday Song) (English Version)	22	Resonance
51	YESTODAY (Extended Version)	21	Empathy
51	Without You (Chinese Version)	21	Empathy
53	Good Night	16	Universe
54	Vroom	13	Universe
55	Interlude: Past to Present	10	Resonance
56	From Home (Korean Version)	6	Resonance
57	Outro: Dream Routine	4	Resonance
58	Interlude: Present to Future	2	Resonance

The 7th Sense continues its undefeated streak, even though OK! and PADO have proven themselves to be worthy competitors. Top 10 is evenly spread between 6 title tracks and 4 b-sides which just speaks to the quality of NCT's b-sides and love for them in the fandom.
Intro: Neo Got My Back is the intro/interlude/outro that has gotten the most votes, surpassing even Interlude: Oasis which is a song on its own. Culture tech tech on our minds, indeed.

Soundtracks and SM Stations

#	Song	Members	Count	%	Note
1	Rain Day	Taeil, Kun and Yangyang	100	39.5%	[NCT LAB]
2	Coming Home	Taeil, Doyoung, Jaehyun and Haechan	90	35.6%	[SM Station]
3	Maniac	Doyoung and Haechan	86	34.0%	[Maxis by Ryan Jhun]
4	Marine Turtle	Kun, Xiaojun, Renjun and Chenle	81	32.0%	[NCT LAB]
5	coNEXTion	Doyoung, Mark and Haechan	74	29.2%	[SM Station]
6	N.Y.C.T	Taeil and Haechan	67	26.5%	[NCT LAB]
7	Do It (Let's Play)	Jungwoo, Jeno, Yangyang and Chenle	38	15.0%	[NCT ZONE OST]
8	Stay In My Life	Taeil, Taeyong and Doyoung	22	8.7%	[School 2017 OST]
9	Baby Only You	Doyoung and Mark	17	6.7%	[The Tale of Nokdu OST]
10	Radio Romance	Taeil and Doyoung	14	5.5%	[Radio Romance OST]
11	New Love	Doyoung and Jaehyun	13	5.1%	[When You're On The Blacklist of Bullies OST]
12	New Dream	Taeil and Jaehyun	12	4.7%	[Dokgo Rewind OST]

Rain Day comes out on top, however the competition between other NCT LABs has been insanely fierce with multiple three-way ties that have dissipated by the end of the survey. Congratulations to composer Kun as well as Taeil and Yangyang on this one!

Honorable mentions

For the bonus question, we have asked you what songs would you recommend out of NCT U releases on the questionnaire and a total of 207 people have named a song or more! However, several responses were disqualified as they included songs outside of the survey.

#	Song	Count	Album
1	The 7th Sense	48	Empathy
2	PADO	41	Golden Age
3	Round&Round	30	Universe
4	Baby Don't Stop	28	Empathy
5	90's Love	25	Resonance
5	BOSS	25	Empathy
7	Faded in My Last Song	23	Resonance
8	Make a Wish	19	Resonance
9	OK!	16	Universe
10	YESTODAY	15	Empathy
11	Miracle	14	Universe
12	Baggy Jeans	13	Golden Age
13	From Home	13	Resonance
14	Without You	13	Empathy
15	Misfit	12	Resonance
16	Dreaming	7	Universe
16	The BAT	7	Golden Age
16	Universe (Let's Play Ball)	7	Universe
19	Rain Day	6	Non-album track
19	TOUCH	6	Empathy
21	Nectar	5	Resonance
22	Beautiful	4	Universe
22	Déjà Vu	4	Resonance
22	Maniac	4	Non-album track
22	Volcano	4	Resonance
26	Birthday Party	3	Universe
26	Coming Home	3	Non-album track
26	I.O.U	3	Resonance
26	Light Bulb	3	Resonance
26	Music Dance	3	Resonance
26	My Everything	3	Resonance
26	Resonance	3	Resonance
33	Alley Oop	2	Golden Age
33	Call D	2	Golden Age
33	GO	2	Empathy
33	Golden Age	2	Golden Age
33	Intro: Neo Got My Back	2	Empathy
33	Know Now	2	Universe
33	Make a Wish (English Ver.)	2	Resonance
33	Marine Turtle	2	Non-album track
33	N.Y.C.T.	2	Non-album track
33	New Axis	2	Universe
33	Sweet Dream	2	Universe
33	Timeless	2	Empathy
45	Black on Black	1	Empathy
45	Dancing in the Rain	1	Resonance
45	Dream in a Dream	1	Empathy
45	Good Night	1	Universe
45	That's Not Fair	1	Golden Age
45	Work It	1	Resonance

Most of the mentions are mirroring the results across all albums, however Yestoday, From Home, and Without You have done better than their votes in albums would suggest, while OK!, The BAT and Nectar from top 20 have gotten more mentions than their rank would imply. (Also notably Miracle has gotten more mentions than Nectar, as a "safer" song from WayV)

Closing notes

Despite Resonance winning as the most beloved album and The 7th Sense being crowned as NCT's favorite NCT U track, there is a lot of adoration for the entire NCT U discography (both in albums and outside of it)! The sub had a nice turnout at nearly 300 people and hopefully you will participate in the future NCT 127 discography survey in July around NCT 127's anniversary (that one is going to be a lot more lengthy)!
If you like rating songs and figuring out your favorites, come and check out kpoprates where we are currently ranking songs from 2021 (including Hot Sauce, Hello Future and Sticker) as well as diving and exploring songs from late Gen 2 and early Gen 3. We would love to have you join our community!
The rest of the data and some histograms can be found in a spreadsheet here. If there is anything wrong or if you'd like to know more, please let me know in the comments!
^{Table formatting in this post brought to you by ExcelToReddit}

In my high school math class we have to make a statistics project but I’m not sure what to do. For example some people did paper airplanes and seeing the effect of different papepaper folding methods on their distance, someone did the effect of small marshmallows or big marshmallows in rice crispy treats and if they affected how they stretch, some kid did if using soap made them go faster on a slip and slide. So something simple like that that’s easy to do and collect data on.

I chose a school to enroll into a course. It wasn't defined in the dream what the course was about, but the school is supposed to be a high school. I put it on Google maps, and was trying to reach it by foot. The maps app was taking me through a dirt path that went through a new neighborhood. There's many construction sites for new homes around.
The dream kinda started with me already walking the dirt path, but I felt like I've been walking for some time. I thought how walking this path everyday to get to school would suck. I looked at the maps app and saw that I've reached the end of the path drawn on the app, but I looked around and couldn't see the school. I zoomed out the map a little and could see that it was nearby, its just that there wasn't any road directly connecting the school to the dirt path I was on.
I looked at the direction the app showed, and saw that the school was down an escarpment right beside the dirt path. The fall was about the height of an utility pole, and there wasn't a safe way to go down. I jumped and opened a parachute like in a videogame.
Now on this lower level there still was a bunch of construction sites going on, but nobody was around. I walked some more trying to find the school. The buildings here were mostly finished, lacking only plastering, tiling and painting. Everything was still dusty from construction activity. Now looking closely at the buildings around me I noticed there were a bunch of props around faking things like cars and plants. The whole place seemed like a fake set. I also noticed a lot of bullet holes on the walls and some of the props.
I walked around looking for someone. I got to one construction which had a stairwell shaft going down. Looking from the top, I could see that the underground levels were completely finished, furnished and clean with modern furniture and lighting. I also spotted a bunch of people around a place that looked like a living room.
I went down and walked into the middle of the group. They looked like students wearing school uniform. They didn't find it strange that I showed up at all, and seemed to be in the middle of something. I got close to a group sitting on a sofa. One of them seemed to be briefing two others on something. These two seemed new and were being introduced to the rules of this place. I think nobody found strange that I arrived because everyone assumed I was with the new guys.
The dude explaining things then explained how we would have to solve a few tasks and do some tests. The other people around us didn't pay is any attention and seemed to be waiting for something or just hanging out. One group was talking about some other guy and how he was doing well with his training, especially with computer programming. This group seemed to be some sort of supervising class, they were looking into a monitor with data from other people's training results. While all this was going on, there was a TV set on the wall showing ads that looked like stuff you'd see on Cyberpunk 2077. I noticed an ad about artificial muscles showing a woman with bulging muscles as if she had no skin. Someone commented on this but I can't remember that particular remark.
The whole thing felt a lot like something from battle royale. After the explanation I understood this whole thing being like a cult. Now that I got in, I'm stuck because they'll keep an eye for me and I can't easily escape because there's a tall escarpment all around the place. I was going through possible escape plans in my mind when I woke up. Of course all the plans entailed fighting my way out like an action hero.
2024-04-28

At the moment I know pretty well what newtonian mechanics, quantum mechanics, special and general relativity are, but only at a divulgative level (if someone gave me an einstein's tensor equation or a wave function of even the simplest kind, I wouldn't understand anything).
At a high school level (right now I'm in the italian 10th grade) I studied Newtonian statics and kinematics, very little of dynamics, little to nothing of thermodynamics (also not explained by my physica teacher, but by my chemistry one) and really few elementary electromagnetism equations (a few of them are Ohm's first law, Biot-Savart law and the magnetic force equation for a conductor passing through a flat plain). By the way, none of the equations I talked about were presented to me as differential equations, but they were simplified to certain cases so they could use only basic arithmetic operators.
For example, the equation defining work, L = F ds, was considered in the specific case when the force is constant, where it simply becomes L = F•s.
Right now in my maths class we're about to have a second degree rational inequality test. By myself, though, I learned quite a few things about limits, derivatives, series and integrals and tried to understand concepts like taylor series and complex functions. However, learning it all from brief YT videos, I know none of the demonstrations.
I already ordered a book of Calculus 1 to begin learning the foundations of all modern maths and physics, then I should order a book about newtonian dynamics and classical thermodynamics.
What do you suggest I buy after that so that I can get to relativity and quantum mechanics before the end of 13th grade? I don't mean to rush things, I want to understand every single thing. Other than relativity and q.m., I surely want to learn lagrangian, hamiltonian abd statistical mechanics. So, base your answers on that.

July 27th: Hi! First of all, I am an introverted student, and it was our late-summer vacation. I just finished house chores, bible study, reading, exercising, et cetera. I do not have that many friends; my “message” app is dry; no one is messaging me after school. 5–10 classmates messaged me before trying to reach out to me for help in calculus, chemistry, statistics, et cetera, but now I feel like they’re just using me. I’ve spent 30+ days now improving myself, but I feel that no one’s there for me the whole time; it's just me fighting alone.
July 28th: Hi! First and foremost, I am a grownup teenager who is an INFJ and has social anxiety and stutters. When I was a child, I was that shy kid who was so well behaved that the day would pass that I did not talk to anyone, not even my parents. Because of that, I lost a lot of opportunities (e.g., studying at a science high school). I also always get an average grade of 96, or 97%. I sometimes have a chance to get a 98% because of my high score in summative and quarterly tests (when sometimes I perfect almost all of them) in school. I always stutter a lot, so that’s why it's hard to get that 98%. My grade in performance tasks is very affected; it is almost half of the grade, so I always got 96 or 97%. I think I developed my stutter because, as I mentioned earlier, I was that kid who was super shy in the first place. Now, because of that, I struggle to talk to anyone, and in the past year, 2020 (pandemic days), I am not 100% sure, but I think I developed “social anxiety.” Now, on my late-summer vacation, I was just in my own house, improving myself alone because no one will invite me to hang out or even talk to. But you may ask, “Am I the one who should ask first because I am the needy one?” Yes, I try to talk to a lot of people, greet them, and message them, but I think I’m just causing annoyance for them, and I feel unappreciated for that.