Type in name and write in cursive

Hey everyone. I graduated a little under a year ago and have been working full-time ever since. My team transitioned from Java to Kotlin about six months ago, and what an absolute joy it has been working in Kotlin.
We're doing a lot of new development, and I’ve found myself unsure about the proper way to structure an application. I understand that the right structure is the one used within the company to maintain consistency. While I want to stay consistent with the company, I also want to learn the "right" way and potentially bring new knowledge to the team.
Yesterday, I spent a few hours creating a simple API project that connects to and uses a database. The goal was to learn how to properly structure an application like this while referring to documentation, write-ups, and tutorials.
I wanted to learn the proper:

• Folder structure
• Naming conventions
• Design principles
• Readability and maintainability

With some conflicting information and my lack of experience, it was difficult to make qualified decisions. I'm left with a project that I find hard to validate in terms of good structure and what could (and should) be improved.
Here are some questions I ran into during development that I couldn't find concrete answers to:

1. Should routes be structured so that each subroute is located inside its own subfolder, or should they be kept in one file with all routes included?
2. When using a data class for models, what's the best way to reuse classes? For example, if we have a superclass, Product, and I want a Book to inherit the properties from Product, what's the preferred way, especially when these need to be serializable too?
3. SOLID principles, at any cost? I found that for smaller projects, SOLID seems to introduce more boilerplate code. How do you know if SOLID is overkill for an application?

I hope this post fits this subreddit. Feel free to have a look at the project and use it for reference.

I recently started up a contracting/handyman business. A couple of weeks ago I received a text asking me if I did exterior painting. After informing him that I did, I got the address to do a free estimate. The location looked like it was vacant, and definitely in need of paint. Long story short, I submitted a bid, he accepted, and offered to send me a check for 30 percent down, and the rest when the job was completed. I became suspicious when he wanted me to email him the contract to sign. Plus, his number had an unusual area code, and the name he used in the email didn't match anybody listed as owners of the property. I checked on the Oregon Construction Contractors Board (CCB) for any info regarding scams against contractors, but they only had warning for customers regarding scams contractors might attempt. Luckily, an online search for "scam painter contractor" revealed posts from contractors getting scammed. I decided to play along with the guy and his scam was to send me the down payment, along with money to pay the carpenter that would be doing work on the house I was to paint. He told me to pay the painter as soon as the check clears with my bank. I received the check yesterday and notified the sheriffs department. They are sending me a form to fill out which will, at best, provide the government with statistical data regarding these types of crimes. There is zero hope that they will actually catch the guy. I wanted to think up a clever way to mess with the guy. Like to tell him I lost the check and send me another one, but I ended up just telling him to f*** off when he called me at a bad time. Anyway, I hope this post helps prevent someone else from falling for this type of scam. Cheers

Cringy titles aside, my name is Mark, this is me, and I'm pretty short by Dutch standards at 1m70. I'm looking for someone whose life I can be a positive addition to, and who would love to do the same for me! Personality-wise I'm funny, kind, empathic, reasonably smart, and I can listen well. I love cuddling, as well as giving and receiving personal physical attention. I also like accents, forearms, and some types of ASMR. Once there's some emotional connection I'm open to things getting spicy, but if that's all you're interested in I'll pass!
I'm into tech, sci-fi and/or fantasy, gaming, futurism, all things science, especially space-related things (I love thinking about the Fermi paradox, for example) and I'd love to someone to share some of that with!
Right now I don't work, and you have to be okay with that. I have some self-work coming down the pipeline this year, which hopefully should also include weight loss, but for the time being it's best that you accept me as is!
What I'm looking for in you is patience, empathy, and humour. I don't care that much about body type (though I'm not into chubs myself), just treat me the way you want others to treat you! Hope to hear from you soon!

Cringy titles aside, my name is Mark, this is me, and I'm pretty short by Dutch standards at 1m70. I'm looking for someone whose life I can be a positive addition to, and who would love to do the same for me! Personality-wise I'm funny, kind, empathic, reasonably smart, and I can listen well. I love cuddling, as well as giving and receiving personal physical attention. I also like accents, forearms, and some types of ASMR. Once there's some emotional connection I'm open to things getting spicy, but if that's all you're interested in I'll pass!
I'm into tech, sci-fi and/or fantasy, gaming, futurism, all things science, especially space-related things (I love thinking about the Fermi paradox, for example) and I'd love to someone to share some of that with!
Right now I don't work, and you have to be okay with that. I have some self-work coming down the pipeline this year, which hopefully should also include weight loss, but for the time being it's best that you accept me as is!
What I'm looking for in you is patience, empathy, and humour. I don't care that much about body type (though I'm not into chubs myself), just treat me the way you want others to treat you! Hope to hear from you soon!

Hi! TLDR at the bottom.
For the last half a year or so, I've been seeing a girl at the gym I go to. I see her practically everytime I'm there, and we seem to be doing the same type of routine, train the same days and always end up near eachother. I'm not a naturally extroverted guy, but I felt curious enough to speak to her casually over the months. Gym culture is difficult, and I often keep to myself. But I got most signs to approach her and talk a few times, other than the casual smiley greetings and looks. I've developed a little crush over time and have gotten very positive signs back. Based on what I've told my female friends, they all think I'm stupid already for not going for it.
One of the bigger talks we had recently, she told me a lot about herself: her career, her degree, her training routine, injuries and some more stuff. Pretty casual, but I found that we're in adjacent fields (she's in economics, while I'm continuing a master's in political science to further go into a PhD program of my own). She also told me that she *has* a PhD finished in economics, which impressed the hell out of me. That's my goal.
Being as stupid as I am, I never got her social media. Last week, I got called for an interview for a research assistant position and have needed to talk to her about it (to ask for advice, ask how she did to get where she is, etc.) but have not seen her at the gym. I don't know anyone else that has done anything like it, and since we're in adjacent fields, I've wanted to seek her advice. The interview is in 4 days, and I'm a little stressed out. I looked her up on Facebook, which wasn't difficult since there's nobody else nearby with her name and that specific PhD from that same specific university (all things she has told me herself). She came up very fast with just her first name. I'm thinking I want to shoot her a message, but I'm afraid of seeming stalker-ish or creepy.
TLDR: Have had a gym crush for a little while, and our interactions have been very positive and getting deeper. But I've been too much of a chicken to actually connect with her outside, but I now genuinely need to talk to her and ask her about her career for some inspiration and advice and might not see her at the gym. I looked her up on Facebook based on what she's told me, and want to shoot her a message but afraid of... well, seeming like a stalker. Is this a no-go, or would it okay? Do you add someone and send them a message, or just send a message directly?

Cringy titles aside, my name is Mark, this is me, and I'm pretty short by Dutch standards at 1m70. I'm looking for someone whose life I can be a positive addition to, and who would love to do the same for me! Personality-wise I'm funny, kind, empathic, reasonably smart, and I can listen well. I love cuddling, as well as giving and receiving personal physical attention. I also like accents, forearms, and some types of ASMR. Once there's some emotional connection I'm open to things getting spicy, but if that's all you're interested in I'll pass!
I'm into tech, sci-fi and/or fantasy, gaming, futurism, all things science, especially space-related things (I love thinking about the Fermi paradox, for example) and I'd love to someone to share some of that with!
Right now I don't work, and you have to be okay with that. I have some self-work coming down the pipeline this year, which hopefully should also include weight loss, but for the time being it's best that you accept me as is!
What I'm looking for in you is patience, empathy, and humour. I don't care that much about body type (though I'm not into chubs myself), just treat me the way you want others to treat you! Hope to hear from you soon!

I don't even know where to start, there is a huge amount of information that I wanted to share with you here.Let's start with perhaps the most common types of fraud.Theft of your credit and debit cards.There are several ways that you can part with your money from your cards.But where do the scammers get this data from?
The most common ways are
--You got to a phishing payment link,e-commerce
--Leakage of your data from the sites where you made the payment
--You have brought virus software to your PC by downloading a malicious file from an unknown source (Internet, flash card)
--You have got to a phishing site for authorization of an apple, Google, Samsung account, etc.
Now in order
You wanted to buy a product online on an unfamiliar site at a very attractive price.Despite the fact that the site inspires confidence, has an SSL certificate, the correct legal address, a beautiful domain name and other parameters, this is not an indicator of its reliability.After making a purchase, you will even receive a receipt for the cost and delivery time to your email address.And you are happy that you have saved a lot of money, keep going about your daily business. Next, it all depends on the methods of debiting funds from your bank card. It will be used either almost immediately or a little later.
The case is as follows. You regularly purchase any goods over the Internet in a local or large online store.For ease of use, your card and billing address are stored in these stores.Hackers study the attack vectors on these stores, exploit the vulnerability and gain access to the database of stores where you previously purchased goods.Your card data is usually encrypted, but not always, there are also methods for decrypting this data.This is how your card data gets to the attackers.
Do you like free software, movies and games downloaded from Torrent and unofficial sites?
Then the malefactor is already in your computer.There is a huge amount of malware for PCs on both Windows and macOS.All this malware has different tasks.We will focus on the stillers class for example.Stiller is a malicious software that extracts all information from your PC and sends it to an attacker.I will list only some parameters and data that stiller can extract, these are:versions of all software installed on the PC,IP address,time zones,keyboard layouts,fonts,autofill of any browser,cookies,hardware wallets and much, much more.As a rule, your credit cards, which browsers keep so carefully, are located in the autocomplete lines.All other information such as billing can also be extracted from the log taken from your PC.
The most insidious way - these are phishing authorization sites.I'll give you a simple example: your iCloud ran out of storage space, and you wanted to buy additional space in the cloud.You logged into safari on your iPhone and entered an icloud request.You click on the first link in the search results, this is what everyone would do, even me.This link was an advertisement, but the domain was original, the ORIGINAL CARL!!!Next, you are redirected to an icloud-type authorization page icloud.scamdomen.com you enter your login details, you are asked to enter a confirmation code on your device, you confirm, that's all.You can say goodbye to your Apple ID and iCloud for at least a month, because hackers will get into your apple ID, delete your devices, change your password and phone number.And then they start using your information, connected payment methods, viewing your photos and videos, studying your notes, applications, and so on.As a result, Apple ID support will restore your Apple ID, but only after a month.
Now we have looked at the most popular ways to steal your data, in my next posts I will try to analyze each category separately so that you better understand how to protect yourself. Now let's talk about the safety recommendations.I understand that half of what I'm going to say is actually corny, and you know it without me, but nevertheless, it works and provides you with protection.
-Do not use the same password on different services
-Do not specify your first name, last name, date of birth in the password
-Use at least 12 characters in the password, using special characters
-If possible, use only prepaid cards with a known balance to pay at unfamiliar stores/locations
-If possible, do not use the standard autofill functions for usernames and passwords on a PC and smartphone, use only specialized applications in which you can install two-step verification.
-If possible, use a two-step verification
-Use only licensed software
-Install and use antivirus software on your computer and smartphone
-Do not download files to your computer and smartphone from unknown sources
I would like to end this post with this, I hope this information will be useful for you.Take care of yourself and your loved ones!

I'm currently sitting in a waiting room at a dealership while my car is being serviced.
As soon as I walk in, I make eye contact with a woman already sitting in the waiting room and I say "Goodmorning!" She responds with a disappointing growl, which I can only assume is disapproval of my mask or the Nintendo switch tucked under my arm (this service was quoted as 3 hours minimum).
After about 20 minutes of waiting in silence, she asks if I know the wifi password. I tell her I do not, but it should be posted nearby. I scan the walls, and see the wifi password. Trying to be kind, I get up and walk over to the paper and tell her what the password is (its the name of the dealership in all lower case, one word).
Feeling like I did her a favor, I return to my seat happy, smiling under my mask. Pop my headphones back in and continue to play my Switch in peace.
After 2 minutes or so, the woman is visibly frustrated and yells that I gave her the wrong password.
So she gets up and makes her way to the listed paper. After a short period of standing there, she throws her purse on a nearby seat and digs through her purse. I turned down the volume and could hear her rambling something about a rude asshole. She finally finds her glasses, puts them on, then stares at the paper and in an overly animated and exaggerated fashion she inputs the password again into her phone.
She returns to her seat, visibly PISSED. She then tells me I'm rude for not putting the password in for her and that it doesn't work (not sure why she thinks me putting it in would be any different if she was convinced the password was wrong)
So at this point I'm left with a few options. I could ask for her phone and assist her, but at this point I would rather be the rude asshole she has decided that I am. So I say "skill issue" and turn my volume back up.
As I type this out I can see her in my peripheral shifting around and clearly upset. No one else in the waiting room so far, but if someone else comes I'll be sure to turn down the volume and listen to whatever lovely version of events she tries to turn this into.

TL;DR: How come a third party software like Disk Drill is able to read my drive and retrieve my files while macOS can't? I just want to understand what the issue or culprit is? And if I should replace my HDD or just format it?
I've had my 5TB WD Passport for just over a year and all of my school work is stored inside of that drive.
Today when I was at the print lab, I plugged in the drive into my macbook and noticed it wouldn't pop up on my desktop screen or finder. Eventually I found out it didn't want to mount and every time I tried to use first aid I would get this message (see below).
I started to freak out, but then a friend helped me out and told me to install Disk Drill to recover my files. It's been a few hours and Disk Drill is still recovering and tracing back all of my files, which I'm very thankful for! I just really want to understand what the issue or culprit is?

Running First Aid on “Container disk3 ”Checking storage system and repairing if necessary and if possible
Performing fsck_apfs -y -x /dev/disk2s2
Checking the container superblock.
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_oid (0x4877)
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_type (0x80000003, expected 0x80000011)
error: verification/reading of the nx_reaper object failed: Illegal byte sequence
warning: checkpoint 205 (xid 18563) failed consistency check
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_oid (0x48d7)
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_type (0x80000003, expected 0x80000011)
error: verification/reading of the nx_reaper object failed: Illegal byte sequence
warning: checkpoint 203 (xid 18562) failed consistency check
warning: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_cksum (0x6fb1)
error: verification/reading of the nx_reaper object failed: Illegal byte sequence
warning: checkpoint 201 (xid 18561) failed consistency check
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_oid (0x48d3)
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_type (0x80000003, expected 0x80000011)
error: verification/reading of the nx_reaper object failed: Illegal byte sequence
warning: checkpoint 199 (xid 18560) failed consistency check
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_oid (0x48d9)
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_type (0x80000003, expected 0x80000011)
error: verification/reading of the nx_reaper object failed: Illegal byte sequence
warning: checkpoint 197 (xid 18559) failed consistency check
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_oid (0x403)
error: (oid 0x401) nr: invalid o_type (0x80000002, expected 0x80000011)
error: verification/reading of the nx_reaper object failed: Illegal byte sequence
warning: checkpoint 195 (xid 18558) failed consistency check
Checking the checkpoint with transaction ID 18557.
Checking the space manager.
Checking the space manager free queue trees.
Checking the object map.
Checking volume /dev/rdisk3s1.
Checking the APFS volume superblock.
The volume 5TB was formatted by diskmanagementd (2142.81.1) and last modified by fsck_apfs (2236.101.1).
Checking the object map.
Checking the snapshot metadata tree.
Checking the snapshot metadata.
Checking the document ID tree.
Checking the fsroot tree.
error: directory record (id 20): invalid hash (0x0, expected 0x1b3b1d) of name (ffc8007524c54f81)
error: directory record (id 20): invalid hash (0x0, expected 0x39b224) of name (ffc8007524c54f82)
error: directory record (id 20): invalid hash (0x0, expected 0x44485) of name (fseventsd-uuid)
error: (oid 0x46c3) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x4037c3)
error: (oid 0x46c3) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x4863, expected 0x485c)
error: (oid 0x46c3) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x40000002, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x46c3) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_subtype (0xf, expected 0xe)
error: (oid 0x46c3) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x40000002, expected 0x3)
warning: aborting jobj validations for current fsck pass - trying to repair fsroot tree with invalid nodes
error: (oid 0x6ad) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x4039df)
error: (oid 0x6ad) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x4870, expected 0x478d)
error: (oid 0x6ad) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x4000000b, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x6ad) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_subtype (0x0, expected 0xe)
error: (oid 0x6ad) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x4000000b, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x6ab) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x2cad)
error: (oid 0x6ab) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x4866, expected 0x478a)
error: (oid 0x3257) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x403925)
error: (oid 0x3257) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x487a, expected 0x4867)
error: (oid 0x3257) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x4000000b, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x3257) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_subtype (0x0, expected 0xe)
error: (oid 0x3257) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x4000000b, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x45ce) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x402)
error: (oid 0x45ce) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x485e, expected 0x4859)
error: (oid 0x45ce) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0xd, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x45ce) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_subtype (0x0, expected 0xe)
error: (oid 0x41ba) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x40391d)
error: (oid 0x41ba) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x4863, expected 0x47b1)
error: (oid 0x41ba) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x40000002, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x41ba) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_subtype (0xb, expected 0xe)
error: (oid 0x41ba) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x40000002, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x47dd) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x402)
error: (oid 0x47dd) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x485d, expected 0x478d)
error: (oid 0x47dd) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0xd, expected 0x3)
error: (oid 0x47dd) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_subtype (0x0, expected 0xe)
error: (oid 0x4745) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x45c1)
error: (oid 0x4745) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x4866, expected 0x478c)
error: (oid 0x48a4) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_oid (0x4037ee)
error: (oid 0x48a4) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_xid (0x4864, expected 0x4848)
error: (oid 0x48a4) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_subtype (0xb, expected 0xe)
error: (oid 0x48a4) apfs_root: btn: invalid o_type (0x40000003, expected 0x3)
Checking the extent ref tree.
error: (oid 0x4038ea) apfs_extentref: btn: invalid o_type (0x40000002, expected 0x40000003)
error: (oid 0x4038ea) apfs_extentref: btn: invalid o_subtype (0xb, expected 0xf)
Extent ref tree is invalid.
The volume /dev/rdisk3s1 with UUID A21B1541-3B8F-48A0-9D47-06546735480C was found to be corrupt and needs to be repaired.
Verifying allocated space.
warning: found spaceman free queue tree entry (0x403918+1, xid 18532) which overlaps with existing range (0x403918+1)
warning: found spaceman free queue tree entry (0x4038aa+1, xid 18534) which overlaps with existing range (0x4038aa+1)
warning: found spaceman free queue tree entry (0x403908+1, xid 18534) which overlaps with existing range (0x403908+1)
warning: found spaceman free queue tree entry (0x4038a4+1, xid 18542) which overlaps with existing range (0x4038a4+1)
Performing deferred repairs.
error: Unable to perform deferred repairs without full space verification
The container /dev/disk2s2 could not be verified completely.
Storage system check exit code is 8.
Storage system verify or repair failed. : (-69716)
Operation failed…"

I contend that only two passages of text meet all four of the following criteria, and these criteria are how I define eyewitness testimony of the risen Jesus:

1. The passage is in what would become the New Testament
   
2. The author of the passage identifies themself by name
   
3. The author of the passage writes in the first person
   
4. The author claims to have seen the risen Jesus
   

The two instances are 1 Corinthians chap. 15 and Revelation chap. 1.
If we add in a fifth criterion of "The alleged sighting occurred between Jesus' resurrection and His ascension forty days later", there are zero instances.

Long time lurker, first time posting because I’m in need of advice and it’s eating away at me. I can’t really speak about this to anyone in my circle.
I apologize for the long post in advance.
So, my (33F) boyfriend (36M) and I have been together a little over two years. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much.
Bit of relevant background information: My BF was married for 9, almost 10 years. He has two kids from said marriage. (2 boys). She cheated on him with at least 3 people (that he knows of) and only cared about how much money he could provide for the family and disregarded his feelings constantly. (Telling him to “man up”, “stop crying and be a man”, “it’s not a real job unless you’re making six figures”, “this guy at work has bigger muscles than you, he’s so hot to look at”), would drain their bank account on whatever she pleased, including supporting her best friend’s drug habit and run ins with the law. The list goes on. She was his first….everything. Kiss, sex, marriage, etc.
I found out recently that about a month or two after we started dating, he was flirting with/hyping up his ex wife through text messages, and was expressing doubts about me. I never felt the need to go through his phone till I just had that gut feeling. I'm an overthinker, and I remember seeing how much he used to be glued to his phone vs now years later. It was always conveniently his ex's name popping up as well. Seeing as to how we agreed to an open phone policy early on in the relationship due to trust issues from past relationships, I decided to act on it. I fucked around and found out.
Hyping her up was obviously an issue on its own; However, he also seemed to be putting me down in the process of trying to make her feel better about herself. She was complaining about her insecurities. He was saying stuff like “Stop it. You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever been with. You’re a goddamn smoke show”. Then proceeded to list all of her positive physical attributes, along with how he didn’t know if he really found me physically attractive.
Despite how she treated him, they had a very active sex life. He was simultaneously complaining to her that we (him and I) weren’t having sex enough at the time (fair, I was anxious about sex in general due to past trauma from multiple abusive relationships). It took me a couple months to feel “safe enough” to open up sexually and for us to have a regular sex life. whereas he was telling her how he missed sex with her, they just should’ve made more time dedicated to their sex life around the kids.
The thing is, I never felt any indication of this at the time. He seemed to be understanding of my past sexual trauma, my hesitancies to trust another man, ensuring me that he was willing to wait as long as it took for me to feel comfortable with him (including sexually), everything. Always telling me I was attractive in various ways. How excited he was to get to know me; Would constantly tell me no woman made him feel so valued, like he was worth their time. Now I can’t help but to wonder what else he seemingly lied about. Or how much did he even mean what he said in the beginning while still fawning over her at the same time unbeknownst to me.
After those few text messages though, this type of talk seemed to stop. It went to strictly business only. Only interacting when its about the kids. No multiple paragraph messages reminiscing on their love for each other. No telling her how hot she is compared to me, nothing. They just stopped around the time he started to tell me he loved me.
Long story less long, I confronted him about these messages when I found them last week. I sobbed, he sobbed. He apologized profusely, stating he was just so unsure of me in the beginning and resorted to someone that was a source of comfort in the past (which I don’t get because, well, she treated him awful for the last like…6 years of their marriage). He then said something about how she was the only person he went to for external problems in the past because he doesn’t have many friends and he would vent to her about work, his family, etc. So again, she was basically all he knew from a young age. He then stated I’ve shown him what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. That he feels he had rose colored glasses even then. To where he felt like he could somehow re-kindle with her. But he knows now that if he ended up doing that, he would’ve been miserable anyway. He made it a point to tell me he loves ME, not her; And that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me, how much he loves me, etc.
He has basically been my constant source of happiness, safety, and comfort until now. Now all I see are the text messages. I have a hard time feeling like he’s truly even attracted to me. He DOES constantly tell me I’m beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, a “goddess”, etc. But he also did in the beginning of our relationship when those messages were sent to her. Or maybe he’s only slightly attracted to me but regardless, in my mind, I am always being compared to his ex wife and I just don’t…measure up physically. I know I have quite a bit of insecurities and self esteem issues when it comes to my body/face. I have struggled feeling pretty/hot/whatever enough since I was a child. (Long story but for very valid reasons). However, before these messages, I was able to ignore them and just be happy. Now? I’m just not as pretty as her. Her hair is longer than mine. Her makeup is better than mine. I’m curvy/thick, she’s skinny and in perfect shape. I can’t stop comparing myself to her and I’m…going insane. Or so it feels. I just can’t compete with her physical beauty. I can’t compete with her having all of his firsts. I feel like she was the love of his life simply because of their time together and the fact she gave him his pride and joy-his kids. I mean, who forgets their first love? I can't compete with that bond they share. I can’t stop crying about it.
I guess I'm just curious if anyone here went through something similar, and maybe has some tips for finding their self worth again? Feeling pretty again? Or if anyone thinks him and I can move past this without the constant sting of betrayal looming around.
TL;DR: Boyfriend emotionally cheated on me with his ex wife at the beginning of our relationship. I’m finding out now after 2 years together. He states it was due to being unsure of me in the beginning of our relationship, but he’s never been more sure of me now. He was unsure of marrying ever again until he met me How do I recover from the insecurities this has caused to be brought back out unexpectedly? Was anyone here able to move on after something similar?

Before I start, this story is long, and I'll repeat myself a lot; my first goal is to get what's inside me out and vent, so please be patient and if you respond be respectful, please.
I (29M) came out of the closet about two years ago, but living in the environment I live in, I couldn't be as open as I would have liked until recently. During that time, I lost a lot of weight and gained confidence in myself, which made it easier for me to open up to the world that interested me. I'm not someone with much experience when it comes to sex, but I've had my adventures, mostly with women, but once I accepted who I am, my experiences shifted towards men. In recent years, I've had fleeting relationships and two relationships that lasted more than four months, but in recent months, I've been puzzled by a situation I've had to live through, and that's why I'm writing this here, to see if the perspective of strangers helps me clarify my thoughts a bit.
I don't consider myself ugly; I can even be attractive, both physically and in personality, but insecurities have affected me since I was very young. This story begins in September of last year when I started working at a new company. The workgroup consists of about 30 colleagues, some of whom I knew from before. But the story focuses on a guy (32M), let's call him Stephen. I must mention that he didn't attract me at first; he's not my physical type. But around November, as I got to know him, I was attracted to his personality, which surprised me because I'm usually a very superficial person (I know I need to work on that), and it's not very common for me to be attracted to someone because of their personality.
Over time, I formed a very close group of friends, who told each other everything that happened in our daily lives, so it was only a matter of time before I mentioned to them that I was attracted to Stephen. The three colleagues, Anna (37F), Violet (36F), and Lily (20F), were happy for me and told me that the interest seemed mutual because they thought the guy was getting very close to me. I liked that because I had already noticed that the jokes or comments I made to him received the same response, or at least he played along.
We reached December, we organized a dinner with some colleagues, and both he and I attended. By then, my colleagues had been pressuring me a lot to tell him something, but since we only had a relationship at work, I didn't dare to take the step; it didn't seem right to me. I also mentioned my situation to my friends, who could give me another point of view, but they all told me that not seeing the relationship we had made it difficult for them to evaluate it. I must mention that all this was happening while I was seeing another guy, John (27M), in a stable relationship for 6 months.
At the dinner and at the after-party, Stephen didn't leave my side. If I went out to smoke, he came out with me even though he doesn't smoke; if I had a drink, he accompanied me to the bar. My colleagues were ecstatic because they saw that this was the night something was going to happen. Well, it didn't. Between my relationship with John and the nerves of the moment, I didn't dare to do anything. But I already saw clearly that with those ideas in my head, the relationship with John was unfeasible; he was no longer my priority. We broke up during the following week.
I was already going all out for Stephen; I was attracted to his personality, to what he could offer me in a relationship. The week before Christmas arrived. We had a one-week break from work, and I didn't want to leave with doubts on vacation. On Tuesday of that week, I went to talk to him about the subject, determined, but when I started talking, I saw that we weren't alone, and I didn't dare to continue. I didn't dare again until Friday; he insisted that I finish saying what I had to tell him, which excited me even more because in my head, what I wanted to tell him seemed obvious.
Friday came, the last day for me to tell him something. When there was an hour left to finish the workday, I saw that we were alone, and I approached him. I was very nervous, I even stuttered, but I practically told him that I found him a very interesting guy and that I would like to get to know him outside of work, to which he responded that he was flattered but that he was not homosexual. It crushed me. I tried to disguise it by saying that he had become a very important support at work and that I wouldn't want this to ruin that relationship; he accepted it.
I left there as quickly as possible, holding back tears as best I could (yes, very teenage everything). I met up with my colleagues and told them what had happened. They supported me, but they kept saying that they didn't believe Stephen, that the relationship we had wasn't just friendship. I didn't give importance to that; at that moment I just wanted to forget what had happened. It was one of the toughest Christmases I've ever had. My family didn't know anything, my friends outside of work didn't understand it, and my work colleagues kept insisting that I needed to clarify things even more with him. My head was spinning.
I decided that I was going to fulfill what I said to Stephen, that the work relationship would continue as it had until that moment. The first week was weird and tough, I won't deny it, but I handled it quite well. I insisted that my colleagues avoid the subject, but it was impossible not to see the looks every time Stephen and I talked. Over time, we've returned to jokes, and although there's attraction on my part, I've come to understand that nothing will ever happen between us. Or so I thought. The last month I've had abrupt changes in my life. My grandmother died, I started dating Parker (33M), I got promoted at work, and I moved out on my own. It's important to mention, I think, that Stephen was my superior, and now, with the promotion, he's my immediate superior, I have to answer to him. So we spend much more time together, and we've come to know each other more intimately. I know about his problems with family, his friends, his plans for the weekend... But he never talks to me about relationships. We have a colleague who lives in the same city as Stephen, who has known him for years, and my colleagues, being the gossips they are, interrogated her about Stephen, and she managed to find out that he has never had a known relationship, nor has he had relationships with anyone, which surprised us all because, even though he's not my type, he's an athletic and quite attractive man.
Meanwhile, physical contact has emerged; he touches my shoulder when speaking, he hugs me when greeting me in the mornings... That was what I was missing. Just when I was rebuilding my life after the Christmas fiasco, to doubt again because of physical contact, once more when I was in a relationship that seemed perfect on the surface. More doubts on the subject. I had been with Parker for three months; I met him at a party with friends, in early February, falling back into the same old mistakes, focusing on the physical and then on the personality, luckily we were compatible, until feelings for Stephen surfaced again. The relationship faded, literally, no sex, no affection, no compatibility. My work colleagues didn't accept Parker, they were still insisting on Stephen. We come to yesterday, I broke up with Parker last week, and I really felt bad because it seemed to me that I was making the same mistakes as with John, obsessing over a relationship that didn't exist, that I had already received rejection for. But I moved to my new house, perfect for me, and liked by everyone, even Stephen. Today I received the comment that led me to speak here. I have organized a dinner next weekend at my house, Stephen is coming, he has asked to stay the night, I only have one bed, he has said we will share with a wink. I got excited, but I don't want to. I couldn't bear another fiasco. My work colleagues are already on cloud nine.
So I ask, do I have reasons to be excited?

To be honest, I wasn't sure that the Advice sub would let me post this there so I'm posting it here because it's so fucked up. And it didn't seem right for Let's Not Meet, either. But I do need advice, because I feel I'm losing my fucking mind.
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.

I (24f) just got off the phone with my childhood bff (24f) about her breaking up with her bf (22m). We’ll call her Sarah and her ex Mike for privacy reasons. To preface, I have PTSD from multiple traumas one being from a DV relationship for 5 years with mental and physical abuse. She knows this. Since then I’ve gone to therapy, and am in a healthy happy relationship for 4 years now.
Sarah knew Mike for a couple of years before they started dating, and they probably dated for about 4-6 months. From what I was told from Sarah, Mike would buy her a lot of gifts spending hundreds of dollars at ulta, Sephora, bath and body works, you name it. Sarah really enjoyed being spoiled like this. She never talked about what they did together, how she felt, or what she does for him (no I don’t mean sex, I mean in a love language type of way). She was only happy talking about what he bought her. She’s also a college athlete running in track. She had one of her meets, and this particular meet would determine if she’d make it to finals. Her mom and Mike were there to support her. After her race, her mom wanted to see if she qualified. While she was getting up Mike grabbed her (I don’t know where and how exactly, waiting to talk more to figure out exactly I was only briefly told this) to stop her mom and told her that her mom should give her some space. Her mom said no, that she knows her daughter. He was adamant that he knows Sarah better, that she would want some space. Sarah told me she broke up for “putting hands” on her mom, and how he “handled” her mom is how Mike would handle Sarah. I agree if she does not like how he handled the interaction and it was a deal breaker for her then fine. But to say he put hands on her mom implied a lot more. I mean I think she just wanted a reason to end things without feeling bad. Am I overreacting? Am I being too sensitive since I have a personal history with abuse? Would I be the asshole for saying she was wrong for saying “putting hands” on someone is different than what she’s saying and blowing it out of proportion? I haven’t said anything yet, since I don’t know all the detail.

I am trying to use Python to read in a PDF form so that I can fill all the elements and then create a new filled in PDF. I found code from this repo and everything works correctly for the most part, but some elements aren't being recognized. Below is what the form looks like when I am editing the elements: https://i.sstatic.net/oTn5wiGA.png
However, when I run my code most but not all of the elements get filled in. In this example I am filling each box with "STRING". https://i.sstatic.net/AQn06u8J.png
In my code, when I list all of the element names ("other, route_to_1, route_to_2, etc) all the names are correct and have been checked over and over. When I debug my code and look at the variable that stores all the form elements, it's simply misreading some of the elements. I am not sure what is causing this. Whether Acrobat made the form incorrectly, or if there's a problem with the code. Any help is appreciated. Here's the code I have:
create_pdf.py

from pdf_processing import ProcessPdf DATA_OBJECT = { "other": "string", "route_to_1": "string", "route_to_2": "string", "route_to_3": "string", "route_to_4": "string", "route_to_5": "string", "route_to_6": "string", "route_to_7": "string", "route_to_8": "string", "route_to_9": "string", "route_to_10": "string", "route_to_11": "string", "route_to_alt_1": "string", "route_to_alt_2": "string", "route_to_alt_3": "string", "route_to_alt_4": "string", "route_to_alt_5": "string", "dep_aerodrome": "string", "dep_elev": "string", "dep_atis_id": "string", "dep_atis_freq": "string", "dest_aerodrome": "string", "dest_elev": "string", "alt_dest": "string", "alt_elev": "string", "chan_id_1": "string", "chan_freq_1": "string", "chan_id_2": "string", "chan_freq_2": "string", "chan_id_3": "string", "chan_freq_3": "string", "chan_id_4": "string", "chan_freq_4": "string", "chan_id_5": "string", "chan_freq_5": "string", "chan_id_6": "string", "chan_freq_6": "string", "chan_id_7": "string", "chan_freq_7": "string", "chan_id_8": "string", "chan_freq_8": "string", "chan_id_9": "string", "chan_freq_9": "string", "chan_id_10": "string", "chan_freq_10": "string", "chan_id_11": "string", "chan_freq_11": "string", "chan_id_alt_1": "string", "chan_freq_alt_1": "string", "chan_id_alt_2": "string", "chan_freq_alt_2": "string", "chan_id_alt_3": "string", "chan_freq_alt_3": "string", "chan_id_alt_4": "string", "chan_freq_alt_4": "string", "chan_id_alt_5": "string", "chan_freq_alt_5": "string", "course_1": "string", "course_2": "string", "course_3": "string", "course_4": "string", "course_5": "string", "course_6": "string", "course_7": "string", "course_8": "string", "course_9": "string", "course_10": "string", "course_11": "string", "course_alt_1": "string", "course_alt_2": "string", "course_alt_3": "string", "course_alt_4": "string", "course_alt_5": "string", "dep_clearance_id": "string", "dep_clearance_freq": "string", "time_off": "string", "dep_app_cont_id": "string", "dep_app_cont_freq": "string", "dist_1": "string", "dist_2": "string", "dist_3": "string", "dist_4": "string", "dist_5": "string", "dist_6": "string", "dist_7": "string", "dist_8": "string", "dist_9": "string", "dist_10": "string", "dist_11": "string", "dist_total": "string", "alt_route": "string", "alt_app_cont_id": "string", "alt_app_cont_freq": "string", "dist_alt_1": "string", "dist_alt_2": "string", "dist_alt_3": "string", "dist_alt_4": "string", "dist_alt_5": "string", "ete_1": "string", "ete_2": "string", "ete_3": "string", "ete_4": "string", "ete_5": "string", "ete_6": "string", "ete_7": "string", "ete_8": "string", "ete_9": "string", "ete_10": "string", "ete_11": "string", "ete_total": "string", "ete_alt_1": "string", "ete_alt_2": "string", "ete_alt_3": "string", "ete_alt_4": "string", "ete_alt_5": "string", "eta_1": "string", "ata_1": "string", "eta_2": "string", "ata_2": "string", "eta_3": "string", "ata_3": "string", "eta_4": "string", "ata_4": "string", "eta_5": "string", "ata_5": "string", "eta_6": "string", "ata_6": "string", "eta_7": "string", "ata_7": "string", "eta_8": "string", "ata_8": "string", "eta_9": "string", "ata_9": "string", "eta_10": "string", "ata_10": "string", "eta_11": "string", "ata_11": "string", "eta_total": "string", "ata_total": "string", "eta_alt_1": "string", "ata_alt_1": "string", "eta_alt_2": "string", "ata_alt_2": "string", "eta_alt_3": "string", "ata_alt_3": "string", "eta_alt_4": "string", "ata_alt_4": "string", "eta_alt_5": "string", "ata_alt_5": "string", "dep_gnd_cont_id": "string", "dep_gnd_cont_freq": "string", "tas": "string", "mach": "string", "dest_tower_id": "string", "dest_tower_freq": "string", "leg_fuel_1": "string", "leg_fuel_2": "string", "leg_fuel_3": "string", "leg_fuel_4": "string", "leg_fuel_5": "string", "leg_fuel_6": "string", "leg_fuel_7": "string", "leg_fuel_8": "string", "leg_fuel_9": "string", "leg_fuel_10": "string", "leg_fuel_11": "string", "leg_fuel_total": "string", "alt_altitude": "string", "alt_tower_id": "string", "alt_tower_freq": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_1": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_2": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_3": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_4": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_5": "string", "efr_1": "string", "afr_1": "string", "efr_2": "string", "afr_2": "string", "efr_3": "string", "afr_3": "string", "efr_4": "string", "afr_4": "string", "efr_5": "string", "afr_5": "string", "efr_6": "string", "afr_6": "string", "efr_7": "string", "afr_7": "string", "efr_8": "string", "afr_8": "string", "efr_9": "string", "afr_9": "string", "efr_10": "string", "afr_10": "string", "efr_11": "string", "afr_11": "string", "efr_total": "string", "afr_total": "string", "efr_alt_1": "string", "afr_alt_1": "string", "efr_alt_2": "string", "afr_alt_2": "string", "efr_alt_3": "string", "afr_alt_3": "string", "efr_alt_4": "string", "afr_alt_4": "string", "efr_alt_5": "string", "afr_alt_5": "string", "cont_fuel": "string", "cont_fuel_1": "string", "cont_fuel_2": "string", "cont_fuel_3": "string", "cont_fuel_4": "string", "cont_fuel_5": "string", "cont_fuel_6": "string", "cont_fuel_7": "string", "cont_fuel_8": "string", "cont_fuel_9": "string", "cont_fuel_10": "string", "cont_fuel_11": "string", "alt_fuel": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_1": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_2": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_3": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_4": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_5": "string", "dep_tower_id": "string", "dep_tower_freq": "string", "lbs_ph": "string", "lbs_pm": "string", "dest_gnd_cont_id": "string", "dest_gnd_cont_freq": "string", "notes_1": "string", "notes_2": "string", "notes_3": "string", "notes_4": "string", "notes_5": "string", "notes_6": "string", "notes_7": "string", "notes_8": "string", "notes_9": "string", "notes_10": "string", "notes_11": "string", "notes_12": "string", "alt_gnd_cont_id": "string", "alt_gnd_cont_freq": "string", "notes_alt_1": "string", "notes_alt_2": "string", "notes_alt_3": "string", "notes_alt_4": "string", "notes_alt_5": "string", "alt_time": "string", "route_dest_iaf_fuel": "string", "route_alt_iaf_fuel": "string", "approaches_fuel": "string", "in_air_used_fuel": "string", "reserve_fuel": "string", "rwy_length_dest": "string", "lighting_dest": "string", "fuel_dest": "string", "ils_dest": "string", "loc_dest": "string", "asr_dest": "string", "par_mins_dest": "string", "tac_mins_dest": "string", "arr_gear_dest": "string", "pubs_dest": "string", "notams_dest": "string", "fuel_packet_dest_1": "string", "fuel_packet_dest_2": "string", "fuel_packet_dest_3": "string", "fuel_packet_dest_4": "string", "etc_dest": "string", "last_cruise_req_fuel": "string", "map_to_iaf_req_fuel": "string", "bingo_req_fuel": "string", "last_cruise_appr_fuel": "string", "map_to_iaf_appr_fuel": "string", "rwy_length_alt": "string", "lighting_alt": "string", "fuel_alt": "string", "ils_alt": "string", "loc_alt": "string", "asr_alt": "string", "par_mins_alt": "string", "tac_mins_alt": "string", "arr_gear_alt": "string", "pubs_alt": "string", "notams_alt": "string", "fuel_packet_alt_1": "string", "fuel_packet_alt_2": "string", "fuel_packet_alt_3": "string", "fuel_packet_alt_4": "string", "etc_alt": "string", "last_cruise_res_fuel": "string", "map_to_iaf_fuel": "string", "add_res_fuel": "string", "stto_fuel": "string", "total_req_fuel": "string", "total_aboard_fuel": "string", "spare_fuel": "string", "last_cruise_total_fuel": "string", "map_to_iaf_total_fuel": "string", "bingo_total": "string", "waypoint_1": "string", "waypoint_2": "string", "waypoint_3": "string", "waypoint_4": "string", "waypoint_5": "string", "waypoint_6": "string", "waypoint_7": "string", "waypoint_8": "string", "waypoint_9": "string", "waypoint_10": "string", "waypoint_11": "string", "waypoint_12": "string", "waypoint_13": "string", "waypoint_14": "string", "waypoint_15": "string", "waypoint_16": "string", "clearance_cleared_to": "string", "clearance_altitude": "string", "clearance_freq": "string", "clearance_transp": "string", "clearance_route": "string" } data = DATA_OBJECT output_file = 'final_pdf.pdf' temp_files = [] pdf = ProcessPdf('pdf_temp/', output_file) ''' PDF_TEMPLATE_PATH = path/to/your.pdf ''' data_pdf = pdf.add_data_to_pdf("Blank Jet Log Fillable.pdf", data) temp_files.append(data_pdf) 

pdf_processing.py

import os import re import fitz # requires fitz, PyMuPDF import pdfrw import subprocess import os.path import sys from PIL import Image ''' replace all the constants (the one in caps) with your own lists ''' ''' FORM_KEYS is a dictionary (key-value pair) that contains 1. keys - which are all the key names in the PDF form 2. values - which are the type for all the keys in the PDF form. (string, checkbox, etc.) Eg. PDF form contains 1. First Name 2. Last Name 3. Sex (Male or Female) 4. Mobile Number FORM_KEYS = { "fname": "string", "lname": "string", "sex": "checkbox", "mobile": "number" } This FORM_KEYS(key) returns the type of value for that key. I'm passing this as 2nd argument to encode_pdf_string() function. ''' FORM_KEYS = { "other": "string", "route_to_1": "string", "route_to_2": "string", "route_to_3": "string", "route_to_4": "string", "route_to_5": "string", "route_to_6": "string", "route_to_7": "string", "route_to_8": "string", "route_to_9": "string", "route_to_10": "string", "route_to_11": "string", "route_to_alt_1": "string", "route_to_alt_2": "string", "route_to_alt_3": "string", "route_to_alt_4": "string", "route_to_alt_5": "string", "dep_aerodrome": "string", "dep_elev": "string", "dep_atis_id": "string", "dep_atis_freq": "string", "dest_aerodrome": "string", "dest_elev": "string", "alt_dest": "string", "alt_elev": "string", "chan_id_1": "string", "chan_freq_1": "string", "chan_id_2": "string", "chan_freq_2": "string", "chan_id_3": "string", "chan_freq_3": "string", "chan_id_4": "string", "chan_freq_4": "string", "chan_id_5": "string", "chan_freq_5": "string", "chan_id_6": "string", "chan_freq_6": "string", "chan_id_7": "string", "chan_freq_7": "string", "chan_id_8": "string", "chan_freq_8": "string", "chan_id_9": "string", "chan_freq_9": "string", "chan_id_10": "string", "chan_freq_10": "string", "chan_id_11": "string", "chan_freq_11": "string", "chan_id_alt_1": "string", "chan_freq_alt_1": "string", "chan_id_alt_2": "string", "chan_freq_alt_2": "string", "chan_id_alt_3": "string", "chan_freq_alt_3": "string", "chan_id_alt_4": "string", "chan_freq_alt_4": "string", "chan_id_alt_5": "string", "chan_freq_alt_5": "string", "course_1": "string", "course_2": "string", "course_3": "string", "course_4": "string", "course_5": "string", "course_6": "string", "course_7": "string", "course_8": "string", "course_9": "string", "course_10": "string", "course_11": "string", "course_alt_1": "string", "course_alt_2": "string", "course_alt_3": "string", "course_alt_4": "string", "course_alt_5": "string", "dep_clearance_id": "string", "dep_clearance_freq": "string", "time_off": "string", "dep_app_cont_id": "string", "dep_app_cont_freq": "string", "dist_1": "string", "dist_2": "string", "dist_3": "string", "dist_4": "string", "dist_5": "string", "dist_6": "string", "dist_7": "string", "dist_8": "string", "dist_9": "string", "dist_10": "string", "dist_11": "string", "dist_total": "string", "alt_route": "string", "alt_app_cont_id": "string", "alt_app_cont_freq": "string", "dist_alt_1": "string", "dist_alt_2": "string", "dist_alt_3": "string", "dist_alt_4": "string", "dist_alt_5": "string", "ete_1": "string", "ete_2": "string", "ete_3": "string", "ete_4": "string", "ete_5": "string", "ete_6": "string", "ete_7": "string", "ete_8": "string", "ete_9": "string", "ete_10": "string", "ete_11": "string", "ete_total": "string", "ete_alt_1": "string", "ete_alt_2": "string", "ete_alt_3": "string", "ete_alt_4": "string", "ete_alt_5": "string", "eta_1": "string", "ata_1": "string", "eta_2": "string", "ata_2": "string", "eta_3": "string", "ata_3": "string", "eta_4": "string", "ata_4": "string", "eta_5": "string", "ata_5": "string", "eta_6": "string", "ata_6": "string", "eta_7": "string", "ata_7": "string", "eta_8": "string", "ata_8": "string", "eta_9": "string", "ata_9": "string", "eta_10": "string", "ata_10": "string", "eta_11": "string", "ata_11": "string", "eta_total": "string", "ata_total": "string", "eta_alt_1": "string", "ata_alt_1": "string", "eta_alt_2": "string", "ata_alt_2": "string", "eta_alt_3": "string", "ata_alt_3": "string", "eta_alt_4": "string", "ata_alt_4": "string", "eta_alt_5": "string", "ata_alt_5": "string", "dep_gnd_cont_id": "string", "dep_gnd_cont_freq": "string", "tas": "string", "mach": "string", "dest_tower_id": "string", "dest_tower_freq": "string", "leg_fuel_1": "string", "leg_fuel_2": "string", "leg_fuel_3": "string", "leg_fuel_4": "string", "leg_fuel_5": "string", "leg_fuel_6": "string", "leg_fuel_7": "string", "leg_fuel_8": "string", "leg_fuel_9": "string", "leg_fuel_10": "string", "leg_fuel_11": "string", "leg_fuel_total": "string", "alt_altitude": "string", "alt_tower_id": "string", "alt_tower_freq": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_1": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_2": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_3": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_4": "string", "leg_fuel_alt_5": "string", "efr_1": "string", "afr_1": "string", "efr_2": "string", "afr_2": "string", "efr_3": "string", "afr_3": "string", "efr_4": "string", "afr_4": "string", "efr_5": "string", "afr_5": "string", "efr_6": "string", "afr_6": "string", "efr_7": "string", "afr_7": "string", "efr_8": "string", "afr_8": "string", "efr_9": "string", "afr_9": "string", "efr_10": "string", "afr_10": "string", "efr_11": "string", "afr_11": "string", "efr_total": "string", "afr_total": "string", "efr_alt_1": "string", "afr_alt_1": "string", "efr_alt_2": "string", "afr_alt_2": "string", "efr_alt_3": "string", "afr_alt_3": "string", "efr_alt_4": "string", "afr_alt_4": "string", "efr_alt_5": "string", "afr_alt_5": "string", "cont_fuel": "string", "cont_fuel_1": "string", "cont_fuel_2": "string", "cont_fuel_3": "string", "cont_fuel_4": "string", "cont_fuel_5": "string", "cont_fuel_6": "string", "cont_fuel_7": "string", "cont_fuel_8": "string", "cont_fuel_9": "string", "cont_fuel_10": "string", "cont_fuel_11": "string", "alt_fuel": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_1": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_2": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_3": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_4": "string", "cont_fuel_alt_5": "string", "dep_tower_id": "string", "dep_tower_freq": "string", "lbs_ph": "string", "lbs_pm": "string", "dest_gnd_cont_id": "string", "dest_gnd_cont_freq": "string", "notes_1": "string", "notes_2": "string", "notes_3": "string", "notes_4": "string", "notes_5": "string", "notes_6": "string", "notes_7": "string", "notes_8": "string", "notes_9": "string", "notes_10": "string", "notes_11": "string", "notes_12": "string", "alt_gnd_cont_id": "string", "alt_gnd_cont_freq": "string", "notes_alt_1": "string", "notes_alt_2": "string", "notes_alt_3": "string", "notes_alt_4": "string", "notes_alt_5": "string", "alt_time": "string", "route_dest_iaf_fuel": "string", "route_alt_iaf_fuel": "string", "approaches_fuel": "string", "in_air_used_fuel": "string", "reserve_fuel": "string", "rwy_length_dest": "string", "lighting_dest": "string", "fuel_dest": "string", "ils_dest": "string", "loc_dest": "string", "asr_dest": "string", "par_mins_dest": "string", "tac_mins_dest": "string", "arr_gear_dest": "string", "pubs_dest": "string", "notams_dest": "string", "fuel_packet_dest_1": "string", "fuel_packet_dest_2": "string", "fuel_packet_dest_3": "string", "fuel_packet_dest_4": "string", "etc_dest": "string", "last_cruise_req_fuel": "string", "map_to_iaf_req_fuel": "string", "bingo_req_fuel": "string", "last_cruise_appr_fuel": "string", "map_to_iaf_appr_fuel": "string", "rwy_length_alt": "string", "lighting_alt": "string", "fuel_alt": "string", "ils_alt": "string", "loc_alt": "string", "asr_alt": "string", "par_mins_alt": "string", "tac_mins_alt": "string", "arr_gear_alt": "string", "pubs_alt": "string", "notams_alt": "string", "fuel_packet_alt_1": "string", "fuel_packet_alt_2": "string", "fuel_packet_alt_3": "string", "fuel_packet_alt_4": "string", "etc_alt": "string", "last_cruise_res_fuel": "string", "map_to_iaf_fuel": "string", "add_res_fuel": "string", "stto_fuel": "string", "total_req_fuel": "string", "total_aboard_fuel": "string", "spare_fuel": "string", "last_cruise_total_fuel": "string", "map_to_iaf_total_fuel": "string", "bingo_total": "string", "waypoint_1": "string", "waypoint_2": "string", "waypoint_3": "string", "waypoint_4": "string", "waypoint_5": "string", "waypoint_6": "string", "waypoint_7": "string", "waypoint_8": "string", "waypoint_9": "string", "waypoint_10": "string", "waypoint_11": "string", "waypoint_12": "string", "waypoint_13": "string", "waypoint_14": "string", "waypoint_15": "string", "waypoint_16": "string", "clearance_cleared_to": "string", "clearance_altitude": "string", "clearance_freq": "string", "clearance_transp": "string", "clearance_route": "string" } def encode_pdf_string(value, type): if type == 'string': if value: return pdfrw.objects.pdfstring.PdfString.encode(value.upper()) else: return pdfrw.objects.pdfstring.PdfString.encode('') elif type == 'checkbox': if value == 'True' or value == True: return pdfrw.objects.pdfname.BasePdfName('/Yes') # return pdfrw.objects.pdfstring.PdfString.encode('Y') else: return pdfrw.objects.pdfname.BasePdfName('/No') # return pdfrw.objects.pdfstring.PdfString.encode('') return '' class ProcessPdf: def __init__(self, temp_directory, output_file): print('\n########## Initiating Pdf Creation Process #########\n') print('\nDirectory for storing all temporary files is: ', temp_directory) self.temp_directory = temp_directory print("Final Pdf name will be: ", output_file) self.output_file = output_file def add_data_to_pdf(self, template_path, data): print('\nAdding data to pdf...') template = pdfrw.PdfReader(template_path) for page in template.pages: annotations = page['/Annots'] if annotations is None: continue for annotation in annotations: if annotation['/Subtype'] == '/Widget': if annotation['/T']: key = annotation['/T'][1:-1] if re.search(r'.-[0-9]+', key): key = key[:-2] if key in data: annotation.update( pdfrw.PdfDict(V=encode_pdf_string(data[key], FORM_KEYS[key])) ) annotation.update(pdfrw.PdfDict(Ff=1)) template.Root.AcroForm.update(pdfrw.PdfDict(NeedAppearances=pdfrw.PdfObject('true'))) pdfrw.PdfWriter().write(self.temp_directory + "data.pdf", template) print('Pdf saved') return self.temp_directory + "data.pdf" def convert_image_to_pdf(self, image_path, image_pdf_name): print('\nConverting image to pdf...') image = Image.open(image_path) image_rgb = image.convert('RGB') image_rgb.save(self.temp_directory + image_pdf_name) return self.temp_directory + image_pdf_name def add_image_to_pdf(self, pdf_path, images, positions): print('\nAdding images to Pdf...') file_handle = fitz.open(pdf_path) for position in positions: page = file_handle[int(position['page']) - 1] if not position['image'] in images: continue image = images[position['image']] page.insertImage( fitz.Rect(position['x0'], position['y0'], position['x1'], position['y1']), filename=image ) file_handle.save(self.temp_directory + "data_image.pdf") print('images added') return self.temp_directory + "data_image.pdf" def delete_temp_files(self, pdf_list): print('\nDeleting Temporary Files...') for path in pdf_list: try: os.remove(path) except: pass def compress_pdf(self, input_file_path, power=3): """Function to compress PDF via Ghostscript command line interface""" quality = { 0: '/default', 1: '/prepress', 2: '/printer', 3: '/ebook', 4: '/screen' } output_file_path = self.temp_directory + 'compressed.pdf' if not os.path.isfile(input_file_path): print("\nError: invalid path for input PDF file") sys.exit(1) if input_file_path.split('.')[-1].lower() != 'pdf': print("\nError: input file is not a PDF") sys.exit(1) print("\nCompressing PDF...") initial_size = os.path.getsize(input_file_path) subprocess.call(['gs', '-sDEVICE=pdfwrite', '-dCompatibilityLevel=1.4', '-dPDFSETTINGS={}'.format(quality[power]), '-dNOPAUSE', '-dQUIET', '-dBATCH', '-sOutputFile={}'.format(output_file_path), input_file_path] ) final_size = os.path.getsize(output_file_path) ratio = 1 - (final_size / initial_size) print("\nCompression by {0:.0%}.".format(ratio)) print("Final file size is {0:.1f}MB".format(final_size / 1000000)) return output_file_path 

My Grandma recently passed away. Her estate wasn’t complicated and so was set up with NO will and NO trust - everything was set up POD/TOD/Beneficiary. I am the next of kin and have a (Colorado) small claims affidavit entitling me to any assets discovered under $82K.
Two weeks after Grandma’s passing we discovered a local credit union checking + money market account that no one knew existed. A statement was sent to my Aunt (by marriage, since divorced, Uncle passed in 2020) showing the accounts and a ~$2400 ACH transaction from the credit union to an unknown Wells Fargo Mortgage account. No one knew this account existed. There is no TOD/POD/beneficiary. No one had any idea to check this account or that these deductions were coming out.
My grandma had no mortgages. She did bank with Wells Fargo but they confirmed in writing that she has no open accounts and never had any mortgage products. I have also been to the tax assessors office who confirmed Grandma owned no other property or had no other mortgages in the state. My Aunt and I are the last living members of the family. I am legally next of kin but splitting any unassigned assets with Aunt as was Grandmas wish.
From what little I’ve been able to gather (given that I do not have personal representative or executor paperwork), the credit union account once stood at $40K and has been depleted down to $1K since the ACH deductions began in June 2022. Grandma was in an assisted living & memory care facility beginning January 2021.
I have visited both institutions multiple times over the past week. Wells Fargo is opening a case and will assign a case manager today. Theoretically they will then call me to get any info and begin their investigation. I am told they are “working on” stopping the ACH on their end, but my personal banker contact isn’t able to provide a timeline or process for what this looks like. The banker I’ve been working with indicated this may take a year or longer to resolve.
I brought the paperwork from Wells Fargo confirming no accounts/mortgages in Grandma’s name to the credit union today in hopes they can stop the ACH on their end. The next withdrawal will be June 2 if neither institution is able to stop this, putting the credit union account negative and accruing fees as a result. I am unable to dispute transactions from the credit union side and have basically been told that it’s in legal’s hands.
I’ve been told the credit union account must legally be closed within a year of Grandma’s passing and I’m hopeful we can get the funds returned to this account within that timeframe. Otherwise my understanding is that any funds may be provided via check to the “estate” thus requiring expensive and time consuming probate, which we very much hope to avoid.
I know this is a super rare and strange situation, but it is infuriating bouncing from bank to credit union and back and getting no further in the process. What is the likelihood of recouping these funds? Of stopping the ACH? Is there anything else I can or should be doing to get resolution here? Any wisdom would be appreciated.

Hey, my name is Ralph. I am 36, and I live in Florida. I travel for work though so I am all over the place and I travel full time. So that means I am not on any specific time zone, I sleep when I’m tired. As flight crew my work schedule can be 7 days a week, 365 days a year and holidays. I prefer it that way vs a traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday type job, no thanks. As flight crew I get to see the world and get paid for it. I truly love my job and what I do. I also get to live in Florida but still see all 4 seasons! I have been to 19 countries and growing!
I am a nerd. I love gaming. I have a PS5, gaming desktop, gaming laptop, switch OLED, etc. I am also an electronic music producer. I produce house, tech house, trance, techno, drum and bass, etc! It is just for fun!
I am looking for friends. I am VERY picky with who I respond to and make friends with. I am also looking for my best friend but that takes time and it just has to happen. I just need to click with someone. Someone who immediately gets my high level of sarcasm, etc.
I am looking for real life friends not just online! Message me! :)

Hey, my name is Ralph. I am 36, and I live in Florida. I travel for work though so I am all over the place and I travel full time. So that means I am not on any specific time zone, I sleep when I’m tired. As flight crew my work schedule can be 7 days a week, 365 days a year and holidays. I prefer it that way vs a traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday type job, no thanks. As flight crew I get to see the world and get paid for it. I truly love my job and what I do. I also get to live in Florida but still see all 4 seasons! I have been to 19 countries and growing!
I am a nerd. I love gaming. I have a PS5, gaming desktop, gaming laptop, switch OLED, etc. I am also an electronic music producer. I produce house, tech house, trance, techno, drum and bass, etc! It is just for fun!
I am looking for friends. I am VERY picky with who I respond to and make friends with. I am also looking for my best friend but that takes time and it just has to happen. I just need to click with someone. Someone who immediately gets my high level of sarcasm, etc.
I am looking for real life friends not just online! Message me! :)

Hey, my name is Ralph. I am 36, and I live in Florida. I travel for work though so I am all over the place and I travel full time. So that means I am not on any specific time zone, I sleep when I’m tired. As flight crew my work schedule can be 7 days a week, 365 days a year and holidays. I prefer it that way vs a traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday type job, no thanks. As flight crew I get to see the world and get paid for it. I truly love my job and what I do. I also get to live in Florida but still see all 4 seasons! I have been to 19 countries and growing!
I am a nerd. I love gaming. I have a PS5, gaming desktop, gaming laptop, switch OLED, etc. I am also an electronic music producer. I produce house, tech house, trance, techno, drum and bass, etc! It is just for fun!
I am looking for friends. I am VERY picky with who I respond to and make friends with. I am also looking for my best friend but that takes time and it just has to happen. I just need to click with someone. Someone who immediately gets my high level of sarcasm, etc.
I am looking for real life friends not just online! Message me! :)

Hello Stranger,
This might probably be one of the strangest Pen pal invitation to be posted on this platform. The idea is however simple. If we are to become pen pals, we start writing with absolute anonymity. You don't know who I am, what my name, gender or location is, what I do, what my interests are or any other personal details of me. Similarly I don't know anything about you.
But, as we write to each other, we reveal ourselves with tiny details occasionally, such that over time, we understand who we're talking to and we would probably have established a bond far better and stronger than anyone else could possibly have in this platform. Trust this stranger's words on that.
As to why I propose this is that, I feel telling our personal details all in a go shall create biases (most of which may be untrue) and it would never be honest. Our gender, location, names, interests etc shall surely create stereotypes which shall stay as a barrier in genuine conversations. So, let us stay anonymous and unravel ourselves like a riddle, a mystery tale!
I know this might not be everyone's cup of coffee, but to those who are different and cool, you're welcome to reach out to me. Since we might be separated by oceans and lands, let us write via emails.
PS: Your first step in knowing something about me can figured from my profile, though it lacks a lot of details.
Yours Mystique!

I went in to interview at my local chipotle a week ago and was hired on the spot. The manager that hired me said that there would be an onboarding email with things that I needed to do before I could start working and he said to come in the next Monday (yesterday) with my i9 documents. After a few days, I still had not received the email so i reached out to the manager that hired me. That was last Thursday. He said that he was still waiting to hear back on a few things and that the email would be sent on Saturday if everything went well. I still had not received the email by yesterday when i was supposed to come in, but I went in anyways. The employee there asked if I had completed my onboarding email and I told him that I never received it. He said that the manager that hired me didn't really work there anymore but he had me write down my name, number, and some times this week that I could come in and do what I was supposed to do yesterday. Should I still be waiting for an onboarding email? Is there something I need to do?

Okay, so I think y'all are gonna need some context first. I (15M, a few months away from turning 16) have a brother (18M), let's call him Greg (obviously NOT his real name). 2 years ago, I accidentally saw Greg's twitter profile and questioned the fact that his pronouns were She/her, which unsurprisingly puzzled me as I had no idea why. After a quick conversation on discord, as to not raise hell from my parents (now 52M and 53F), he confessed to feeling like he wanted to be a woman. Now bear in mind, I respected it and didn't give two craps, I was never too close with my family (nothing extreme though) and couldn't care less. I think it was a few weeks later, 1 or 2 i think, my mother found out. I do believe he told her himself, maybe knowing she wasn't gonna be the first to realize what was going on. And here's where crap hit the fan, you could say, as it started a living hell.
Something people might not know about my parents is, they are VERY stubborn on their ways (a.k.a. their old-as-heck mindset), and my mother didn't exactly like the idea that my brother was trans (oh yeah, he later admitted that same day that he liked both genders, but nobody cared about it as much, Greg included). My mother did ask for my opinion but I said "I dont care what Greg does with his life, it means nothing to me. As long as you stay out of my way, I'm fine with whatever happens. Though, I do kinda get where he's coming from, I wont intervene", and proceeded to leave to my room as it truly meant nothing.
Or so I thought, because a few months later, Greg was bold enough to come to me, clearly stating he wanted me to give him my old phone (an old Alcatel that could barely use WhatsApp and didn't even have a touchscreen, that was my first phone before my actual iPhone 6s I got from backmarket). He intended to sell his iPhone 7 for money to get himself private health care (in my country, public health care IS free but my parents were in control), obviously behind my parents' backs, and he also tried selling me his laptop (which did just recently get passed down to me but for free AND better reasons) with a BROKEN BATTERY for $200. Guys, the damn battery fix costs, and Greg told me that himself, ANOTHER 50 DOLLARS. All I could think was "Is this moron effing joking?", but no he was not and he insisted, but he went back empty-handed and I had a cool threat under my belt in case I needed it. I thought of it like that mainly because of how paranoid I am, and I always like to prepare for the worst case scenario.
Coincidentally, that came like a month later when I was summoned to an exceptionally rare (and awkward ngl) family meeting discussing Greg's feelings and, after a year of me finding out, revealed the truth to my father. As a backup plan, I picked up the Alcatel and stuff it into my pocket just in case (and that, everyone, is why you need to have pockets in your clothes at all times). Sure, I didn't use it, but I was ready to. My father was pretty much mortified at the revelation. And while my father is a great manipulator and always says thing with the intent to trick Greg and me, I did empathize with him a fair bit, honestly.
After this day, we entered what I will call the Horror Year, filled with constant arguing between parents and Greg, and them venting it all out on me. Now before you comment how "you could've done the same", no I could not, my one and only best friend deserves WAY better than getting even slightly involved in this BS. So I ended up holding everything to myself, seeing how my brother cried and my parents yelled at him or even hit him on one occasion (boy was that loud, I heard that with my headphones on but thankfully wasnt a strong swing) and hearing them all vent their crap on ME, my brother telling me how "my parents should un-alive", or "how they suck and wont help me recover my mental health and study what I want" (he wants to get into gamedev in Japan) or even how "they'd rather buy me a car before helping me achieve my dreams" (both cost around the same according to Greg and his internet research bs), and hearing my parents say how "you both can do whatever you want here in your country better than abroad" (most likely false especially in gamedev, by the way) or how "he's just throwing a tantrum" and that "he's just an inexperienced brat who has no idea about life and how hard real life is". They are also the kinda parents that never understood things like us appreciating our videogame save files and considering games something more than a "just for a little bit of time" kinda hobby. That is especially true for me. They even say that nothing in my house is mine, but rather that all of it is THEIRS and THEY are letting us BORROW our computers and stuff, coz THEY paid for it so THEY own it and THEY should be able to use our computers (especially mine apparently) anytime they want it with or without our consent or knowledge. of course they cant as my user has a huge password LOL. But yeah, you get the idea of just how everyone here acts.
To be frank with y'all, I'm starting to lose it. A few days ago, my brother went to an appointment with the doctor to get his treatment and was told there were health risks (very low according to Greg, decently important according to my parents) and to also attend a psychologist (he cried cuz of all that, like LEGIT crying). Actually that all happened yesterday as of writing. Now, I'm losing my patience and told my mother to "not be surprised if one day my mind shuts down and I hurt someone here, coz I just might if you a**holes dont effing stop this BS". I seriously might just blow up, and I think my wooden katana I have for martial arts classes wont like it too much when I do blow up. Not only am I scared that my family dividing might affect me, but I also resent them all for making me suffer in a broken home, all by myself with NOONE to trust. I have the power to try and manipulate the situation a little bit but I dont know how. Cn anyone help me?
P.S.: I told my parents I wanted them to let Greg do it before his appointment with the doctor, mainly coz I want him to learn the hard way if he ends up regretting his choice just the same way I learnt from my own mistakes. Still dont care about his or my parent's feelings though.
TL;DR: My trans brother is causing hell in my family and they all vent on ME, now I'm stuck in a very annoying situation. What do I do now?