I'm a DIY psychic. I've had many dreams that came true. In one dream I literally flew out of my body and over my house and neighborhood like a bird. I saw exactly where this hidden lake was that I thought was much farther away. I was shocked to see how close it really was. When I woke up and looked at a map, the lake was exactly where I dreampt it was. I actually couldn't believe I didn't know it was there.
A lot of paranormal things were happening in my house at the time. Id hear knocking, people calling my name, someone walking in my hallway and cabinets slamming at night when I was in bed. I would dream of this stocky older lady with short red hair, a man in 50's style mechanics clothes and a little black dog that would bite my leg. In some dreams they were attacking me. In another the lady told me her name, showed me the old layout of my house, opened a back door that was no longer there, waved her arm to the outside and said "my whole family lived here." It didn't make sense her whole extended family would live in the tiny house I was in so I didn't understand what she meant. I later learned from neighbors that two brothers built the neighborhood and a whole extended family lived there.
Im not good at getting information when Im awake, but have been working on it and am getting better. I don't make decisions based on psychic impressions and don't go to other psychics. I don't announce or try to sell my abilities. I think people should be skeptical. Claiming to be psychic for money is a scam thats as old as the hills. I do think there are reputable psychics. Even good psychics make bad calls, and I had one gjve me very bad advice that had very bad consequences. I dont think people should depend on psychics and think people should work on meditating with intention of connecting spirit guides instead.
I think that unless you know you are a very accurate medium, like see clearly see dead people when awake, which some can do, you should not charge people money for your service. I also don't understand why some mediums charge $500-700 an hour claiming "God gave me a gift to help people." If you are serious about helping people, charge reasonable rates, otherwise you are only helping rich people and hurting poor ones. I dont care how famous you are. God didn't give you a gift to be greedy.
I have had a lot of experience with tarot cards and other oracles, especially the I Ching. Ive seen the same exact hexagrams happen multiple times in a row, which would be impossible according to probability, yet it happened quite often. I used the I Ching for many years before I realized that I wasn't necessarily talking to spirits of the light.
I think people should know that both good and negative spirits can speak through oracles. I don't actually believe its possible to have an accurate tarot card reading with real cards, but have had some pretty accurate readings with a tarot app on my phone. I think AI and technology has a lot of potential, but people should always make a sacred space first by surrounding themselves in white light and take oracle readings with a grain of salt. I won't pay for a tarot reading and do not think reading tarot cards is the same as having psychic ability. People should save their money and get a tarot app. People shouldn't rely on cards oracles for messages from spirit as they are highly unrealiable.
I used a pendulum to speak to the spirits living in my house. They told me there were 4 of them, the 3 I saw in dreams and a little girl. I and asked them if they would like help crossing over. Through the pendulum they told me they would. So I told them to pray to Christ to help them, and I would do the same. I prayed Christ would come and help them cross over and that was it. No more activity. Its been years. They have not come back.
Unfortunately, I invited a demon into my home with the same pendulum. Ive heard its like a beacon of light that goes out and can literally attract anything from anywhere. I was experiencing several hardships at once and like many people seeking psychics, became desperate for answers and started trying to use the pendulum to tell me what to do about them. I invited a demon into my house in the process. This ended up being a great learning experience, as all things in life. I have gotten very good at clearing my home as a result. The thing about demons is like to come back, especially if youve become aware of them and pay attention to them, and especially if you keep inviting them with oracles. A pendulum is as bad as a ouija board, which is why I wont use them anymore.
After that I kept getting harrassed by the same demon in the middle of the night. I had a roof leak in that house that I kept trying to fix on my own for years and had all this trauma and anger around a roofer who ripped me off and did more damage. I did eventually get it fixed but then one day I heard it again, the same "drip, drip, drip" in the same exact spot. I started flipping out because I just paid 10k on a brand new roof. I got up, and nothing was wet. I looked outside and there was no rain. This happened many times but usually stopped when I started looking for it. I realized it was a negative entity and the next time it happened I did white meditation and it immediately stopped. One night I was literally chasing it around the house and was dripping in different locations. I imagined white light and literally heard it squealing like a rat in distress. I was wide awake. I couldn't make this up.
I believe negative non-human entities are like a spiritual virus. They are simply negative energy that is sentient. Like viruses, some are stronger than others. But it needs attention and negative emotions to thrive, which is why you shouldn't be scared or give it attention. The visuals or sounds they can show are an attempt to get a fear response/negative energy to feed on. I think anyone can clear their own home and get rid of negative attachments the same way. Every AM and PM you take a minute to meditate that you are surrounded wit white light and pray for protection.
I clear my house like this: I do the white light meditation as mentioned above. I pray for protection and imagine a white sheet of light coming up from the foundation/basement all the way through the roof. When the white sheet of light gets to my roof, I imagine closing bringing the corners together and hand it off to Christ. I did this many times with the human entities and it worked for awhile but they would come back. I realized they were just outside and came back in when the protection wore off. I had to help them cross over for the "haunting" to stop. Demons take maintenance. Theyre like an infection that keeps coming back. You may have to meditate every night and clear your home once a month. Also know this: there is nothing in a demon to have compassion for. They are made from murderous intention and are never your friend. They also only have power over you if you let them.
If want to connect with spirit, its best to do so by opening your mind through meditation. One thing I am learning is that its not that easy for spirits of a high vibration to come down to earths vibration, so I have to take a minute to raise my vibration and protect myself. Prayer never hurts and often helps and suddenly you can find the energy to go on.
All this may sound totally crazy to skeptics, especially athiests, but if you live in a haunted house, you cant deny the existence of life beyond death. Its also a terrifying drag, especially when they won't let you sleep and give you nightmares. But it can ve a learning experience. Look at me. I could start charging to do exorcisms, but why? I just told you how. DIY your own exorcism. You don't need me. Many people have had similar experiences. This is not the first haunted home Ive lived in or my only spiritual encounters. This would be very long if I wrote them all. I have seen other spirits with my naked eye while awake. Its just very rare. Some people say they see spirits all the time and I believe them. We do live beyond these lives. Some can talk to the dead. The dead will come looking for those people because believe it or not, it sucks to be stuck on earth without a body even more than seeing a dead persons spirit.
Im saying all this with no ulterior motive. I have nothing to sell. I just ask that people have an open mind. The spirit world is incredibly fascinating. I agree that people should be skeptic of psychics. They should not spend their only paycheck on one. I think they can be great at connecting with a loved one who has passed on. But I also think the reason most of my abilities happen when Im asleep is because that is a time where spirits can reach us. I think if you see a loved one who has passed ina dream and it seems real, it is. A loved may already have visited you. If you meditate and raise your vibration, something may come through. If you believe its possible to speak to a loved one who is passed then you know you will see them again.
Life can be very hard. Sometimes we are desperate for answers. Thats when we are vulnerable and can be taken advantage of. In trying to find answers we can let something in that we don't know how to get rid of. I don't think there is really anything or anyone outside of you that knows better what to do with your life than you. Life is meant to be a mystery. We walk this earth blind, deaf and dumb about where we come from and where we return. The world can be harsh. It may seem hard to believe that beyond the physical and emotional pain of life is freedom from pain and Love. I believe many NDErs who come back with a similar message. I am suspicious of people who claim to have been given their lives back only to charge others $1000 and hour. Thats just exploitative. Dont ever pay anyone that much money! You should be suspicious of anyone who charges that much.
I think you should be your own DIY psychic. Just take everything with a grain of salt. We arent meant to know everything. The only truth is Love.

I (28) met my best friend two years ago, and we grew exceptionally close very quickly. I told her that I find it difficult to trust after I’ve been repeatedly hurt in the past, but she made it her mission to gain my trust. We knew everything about each other’s lives, and while we had little conflicts, we managed to sort out those well. That gave me a lot of hope for the future.
Around the time I met her, she became a devout Christian. While not being Christian, I supported her beliefs. She is part of a private church community, but they allowed me to attend some sessions, so I thought they taught an open mindset. Only after a while, I noticed some shifts in my best friend’s attitude and feared that she’d become too radical, e.g., she considers homosexuality a sin equal to murder and believes non-Christians will go to hell. I didn’t agree but accepted these things because she was amazing in other regards.
While she talked about her religion a lot, I shared my own spiritual beliefs: I have an ambivalent relationship with God given the suffering in the world and pray to angels instead. Something that helped me endure hardship and what I’ve been doing for friends also is reading cards. I don’t expect anyone to agree with my beliefs but to tolerate them just as much as I tolerate theirs.
I lived in Miami, FL, when I met her but had to move back to Europe last year. As I’m planning to return later this year, I’m flying over a lot and when not meeting in person, we were constantly chatting. Meanwhile, she met a guy who adheres to her new Christian values, and they married within a few months. Shortly after the wedding, she got pregnant. I was happy for her but also apprehensive about how quickly things were moving. Their financial conditions for starting a family aren’t ideal, and it shows: Earlier this year, they moved and now she, her husband, her mother and a dog live in a one-bedroom apartment, all while a baby will be added to the mix. I didn’t mean to offend her but couldn’t hide my shock and offered my support, e.g., finding an affordable apartment, taking the baby on weekends after I moved back.
When I last saw my friend end of March, we discussed her fears about giving birth and I promised to be present around her due date in June. Back in Europe, I told her when I booked my flights but – no response. For a few more messages, I assumed she was busy and didn’t give it a second thought. After four weeks of silence, I grew worried and texted daily to check in on her. I reached out to her husband, no response. Then to her sister and her church community that confirmed she is fine. I was so confused. On May 1^st, I woke up to a message from her: She wants to distance herself from me because of my ‘dark practices’. She first wants to give birth and settle into motherhood before she has time to pray and determine if my soul can be saved and if we can stay friends. I’m supposed to wait indefinitely until her final verdict.
I broke down crying. I loved her so much and to be condemned for something that helps me cope with my own struggles felt wrong. I had told her about how the experience of being cut off abruptly by someone – without prior warning, without a conversation where I could take a stance – was traumatizing for me in the past, and that’s exactly what she did. I tried to argue with her, but she insisted that she can’t accept a belief that questions the glory of God. I assumed that the matter is blown out of proportions and will sort out itself. A few days later, I noticed that she and her husband removed me on social media. I expressed how much this is hurting me. I asked her to at least have one video call with me so we can discuss these things face-to-face before sending me away, but now she’s ghosting me.
I will fly to Miami in two weeks, but I don’t know what to do or how to cope with this situation. Her environment seems to support her decision and if I say something, I’m being made into someone who stresses out a woman that is about to give birth. I’m so depressed that I can barely sleep and eat anymore, and I feel like I’m being punished even though I tried my best to be a good friend for her. At the same time, I’m still worried about her and her circumstances.
Why is she doing this? And what should I do now?

My gf (19) and me (20m) have been dating for almost 2 years. For anonymity we’ll call her “Mary” me and Mary started dating in late 2022. Previous to her I had dated a girl who for anonymity we’ll call “Liz” I broke up with Liz to date Mary. Because I felt I couldn’t trust Liz to be loyal.
Mary is bisexual which I thought was really cool when we started dating because even the small possibility of a threesome sounded amazing. When we started dating I had 2 other bodies and Mary had 0. It took a very long time for us to be able to be intimate with each other due to her being a virgin. Even after I took her v card the sex wasn’t good and hasn’t ever been very good. I know this might sound douchey. But I’ve only ever heard compliments from previous partners. I was always able to make them finish and last for 20+ minutes. But ever since me and Mary started being intimate I’ve never been able to make her finish. The douchey part about it is I refuse to believe I’m at fault. She takes a lot of mood stabilizers and anti depressants so that’s what I blame it on. For example she takes lexapro and I’ve heard it’s virtually impossible to finish while on lexapro. After months of havin terrible unsuccessful sex. Mary decided she wanted to have a threesome and I was thrilled with the idea as most 18 year old teenage boys are. It was around this time that Mary and Liz had become close friends. (Yes they became friends after we started dating) eventually Liz brought the idea up to Mary about having a threesome and I said yes and we should do it. However shortly after I had rediscovered my relationship with god and had become more spiritual which led to me wanting to be strictly monogamous. When I told Mary she said she didn’t want to force me to do anything and said nothing would happen but they remained to be friends. Fast forward a couple weeks I looked through my gfs phone (yes I look through her phone idc, I have valid reasons) I had discovered that they had begun a full fledged emotional affair behind my back. When I confronted Mary and told her she had to cut off Liz she actually agreed. But when she no longer had her best friend in her life she became more depressed and moped around every day. So trying to be the bigger man and to look out for my gfs feelings I had a talk with Liz and tried to set boundaries. Whenever I talked to her tho she seemed to only want to talk about our relationship which I thought was weird and still do to this day. Lemme state this. I have 0 feelings towards her anymore. Yes she’s still attractive, but I no longer have any feelings beyond that. After that talk Liz and Mary were friends again. I guess they had talked about wanting to have a threesome. Because Mary had repeatedly brought it up. Even after stating I didn’t want to. She tried saying she was unhappy with our bedroom life and wanted more. I told her I’m not comfortable with it and if she wants more then she can leave and do it. She chose to drop it and stay. UNTIL August 23rd 2022. When I looked through Mary’s phone and discovered AGAIN that they had formed a full emotional affair. On top of that. Mary said how in love she was with Liz and said “that 1 time u put ur hand on my thigh made me so wet and I still masturb*te thinking about it” she proceeded to say that she hates being intimate with me and wishes it was her instead, she said she feels she has to force herself to be with me.
When reading these texts on her phone I immediately broke down. Yes being lied to and cheated her a lot. But to this day the worst part was her saying she felt she had to force herself to be intimate with me. It felt like I had been roping her for our entire relationship and that in of itself made me s*icidal. Even now almost a whole year later it still hurts me to think abt. When I read those messages immediately left Mary’s house without waking her up or saying bye. I went home and played videos games with my cousin and best friend and told them what had happened. They were just as shocked and told me I needed to confront her and discuss it with her. When she woke up I texted her saying how I found the messages and wanted to break up. She apologized profusely and said it meant nothing, and said what she said abt us wasn’t true and she wishes she could take it back. I told her I can’t see her for a while and don’t even know if I still love her. I took a week or 2 away to see how I felt. I decided to take her back and forgive her. Why? U may ask. Because I love her and I want to have kids and a future with her. This is when prob my biggest regret is. That night I saw her we were intimate…a lot, and she was more enthusiastic about it then she ever had been. I knew it was about of pity. I knew I shouldn’t. I still did. Because I’m weak. I wish I could tell u it only happened once but it didn’t. It continued like that for a while and I never turned it down. The post nut clarity after each time was terrible. She had cut off Liz and we were trying to get back to normal. I don’t remember how because that whole time was such a blur but Liz and Mary became friends AGAIN. I know I said it was okay. I just don’t remember the context behind it at all. Unfortunately. The problem is I’m very nonchalant and it’s hard for me to stay mad at things because everything feels so small to me. The reason I’m making this post is because I need to know if I’m crazy. Anyways. Fast forward to December of 2023. Me n Mary were going through a rough patch. A 2-4 month long rough patch. I just didn’t see her the same and still held resentment. We agreed to take a break from each other. The night before we broke up I went through her phone…and you’ll never guess what I found. YEP THE SAME EXACT THING. Them having an emotional affair. But this time on top of that. Mary stated that she was going to break up with me so she could be with Liz. That’s not what she told me. Obviously she said she wanted to take time away from each other and then get back together. When I saw this I was livid that this could happen 3 TIMES!!! This 1 didn’t hurt me as much because we were breaking up anyways. So when we broke up I had no intention getting back together with her. she still kept in contact with me reminding me she loved me and that she wanted to get back together. Funny part is. We were intimate more often during that time than we were when we were in a relationship. I’m sure there’s a reason why. But I couldn’t tell u. I’m sure someone else knows why.
1 of the last times we hooked up I looked through her phone. But this time I actually got a pleasant surprise. Mary said she didn’t want to date Liz and wanted to be with me. Liz obviously furious blocked her. But don’t worry not for very long. We ended up getting back together and she still to this day doesn’t know what I found the night before we broke up. We got back together in January. In February Mary and Liz became friends again. Mary continued to ask for a threeesome even after I said no. She said it would make our s*x life so much better and more fun. She wouldn’t talk to me and would belittle me whenever I would say no. She would withhold being intimate because I said no. If you’re still reading this btw I’m so appreciative and would love some advice on how to fix this and what I should do. Why am I still with her?? Because I love her. More than I’ve ever loved anybody. She’s the reason I do anything other than lay n bed. What do I do now Reddit??

You make pretty regrettable mistakes when you're desperate. Unfortunately, desperation would go on to cost me much more than I ever thought possible.
When I was 19 years old my financial situation wasn't great. In what was left of a crumbling home would be my recovering addict twin sister, and myself. The unfortunate state of our home was all from the even more unfortunate passing of our parents just five years prior. The two hadn't died tragically by any means, thankfully. No.. our parents died of old age, a consequence of having us kids later in life, while not being able to take on the financial burden that would be.. us.
My sister was making the early steps into the college lifestyle, doing her best to stay afloat with my support in funding. Money was tight for the two of us, but as she became more well off on her own, the more content she was with severing the last remaining tie to her childhood.. me.
I didn't hate Xel for her decision, if anything I understood her distancing from this life.. even if it saddened me. So then it was just me! Left to a house with a hole in the ceiling. Believe it or not, life wasn't all to bad even with how considerably down in the dumps it otherwise seemed to be.
However, content as I might have been, it's human nature to want more than you have. Can't say I was to greedy to look for some comfortability in my own home..
And so there it was! The glistening letters of ink outlining my salvation. An advertisement I'd found plastered onto the wall of the small booth I sat at while I waited for the bus to carry me off to work. "$5,000 to those compatible for a recent scientific breakthrough." Under any 'normal' circumstances I would consider this a scam. Hell, I was skeptical as I scanned the letters. Had I been told of this opportunity through spam call or text I would've glossed right over it just as anyone else would have.. but I was desperate.
I think it was the fact that someone, some real person had to have put this paper up on this wall gave me some glimmer of hope for a quick cash grab. Listed bellow the promise of money was details for a number to call regarding interest in the proposition.
I took the bait.. I saw the line, and like some idiot I clamped my teeth down just for that hook to sweep me away.
The corporation I'd come to know as, "The Arsaction," would see me just a week later. There was a brief consultation. They took my weight, age, all things I would've expected. It wasn't until they pulled records regarding my familial situation that I began to find this whole ordeal.. suspicious.
To 'begin' to find things suspicious only at this point is foolish, something I full understand, but I feel the need to reinforce the fact that I, Lex McKarthy, was desperate.
Everything by this point seemed pretty legit. The blood tests, the doctors office, the tests were.. reasonable. What was I to suspect? Everything was so vague, and truth be told I honestly didn't even expect anything to come of this visit. All the doctors, all the consultants seemed so disinterested in my features.. but when they realized I had no one, everything seemed to change.
Suddenly ears perked, suddenly doors closed, suddenly I was.. exactly what they were looking for. Every feature of myself was so painfully average. I was anyman, I was.. nothing. Despite their best efforts to be discreate, I knew it was only the fact that nobody would come looking for me that peaked their interests.
My stomach dropped when I was faced with a pen in my hand, trembling over that NDA. Every fiber of me cursed myself for never considering putting just a minute of research into 'The Arsaction,' however a video briefing would ease my nerves. Nobody knew who The Arsaction was. There was no public record of their existence, and that NDA would make sure that they continued to never exist.
I was stupid, I was irrational, I was in over my head! But I was desperate.. and I had nothing else.
"I have nothing else.. I have nothing else!"
It was a mantra I chanted as I was injected with that substance. The substance that turned my blood orange, made my skin freakishly thin.
And then I went home.
That was it. I was given my sum of money, and I was sent home. They told me I was, "good to go," and no number of questions would get a one of them to speak. I was only met with who I'd assume to be security guiding me out of the building.
Not a word more of what I'd just been injected with, only given instructions to not dwell on mirrors for too long. That was it, just some ominous instructions. So I left, as befuddled as I arrived. Relief washed over me as I made my way home. The anxiety I'd received from such an ominous buildup was all waved by the fact that I was somehow just.. good to go?
Relief quickly turned to panic as the inherent nature of it all being too good to be true set in. I expected to die, I expected some visit from government agents, I expected anything and everything, but as months turned to years.. Nothing ever came of it. No mirror ever caused me any harm, which was its own anxiety I'd have to overcome simply because of the absurd nature or such a request.
I hoped it was.. some prank. Everything was well... for a time. Until my sister called.
I just.. watched the phone ring. My sister, someone who I hadn't spoken to in upwards of 8 years was suddenly ringing me up. When I finally had answered, her question left me speechless.
"Hey Lex. would you happen to remember Mom's recipe for that egg toast? I think I left the cookbook at your place."
I felt my ears ring. The question was so.. casual. She entirely skipped the part where we discussed how she's been, how I'm doing. She spoke to me like we'd hung out only days ago.
At the time I'd thought I was just being dramatic, but looking back on it I can only justify my own hesitation to respond.
"W-..what?"
I stammered like a fool, but I was firm in my disbelief.
"Yeah, it should be in the book on the counter?"
I looked over my shoulder to my kitchen counter, past the toaster I never bought, and over to the book she spoke of. My jaw hung heavy, the whole interaction feeling like a dream.
With one hand I held the phone, and with the other I began to skim the pages of the book letting my eyes linger on mom's cinnamon roll recipe for a bit longer than intended.
"Lex.. are you ok?"
My sister inquired on the other end. I suddenly felt sick.. falling the the ground and laying on my back. This wasn't happening. It never did.
"Lex? Are you alright!?"
My sister repeated back more urgently, followed by her assurance that she would be over soon to check on him. But.. no company ever arrived. After hours the line just dropped, and I fell asleep there on that cold, wooden floor, paralyzed with a feeling I couldn't wrap my head around.
This never happened.
I never left.
I woke up in my bed in a cold sweat. I checked the time, greeted with a humble 4:37 in the morning. What troubled me was the fact that the date had been set back 7 years.
Of course it wasn't all so clear to me. After 7 long years I'd honestly forgotten about this day. This was the day that I'd set out for my graciously provided $5,000
7 years of my fucking life.. I would chalk it all up to that.. STUFF that they injected me with.. what was it? Phantom Drive? I could call it all some terrible drug trip, some construct defined by some insane psychedelic, but if that were the case, how was I here now? BEFORE I'd ever taken the drug?
This is a dream. I convinced myself I hadn't miraculously gone back in time, that 7 years of my life weren't a lie, but if that were the case, why was my blood still that damn orangy hue?
I'm losing sleep over this itch in my brain. It's like some taste of blood in my mouth has soured out the idea that letting my eyelids squeeze shut could further obscure my definite understanding of when I stood.
A day I remember so vividly at the ripe age of 14 years old, now 12 years ago, I awoke to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls filling the air. All was right with the world, all as I climbed from the messy sheets in my dark room. It was abundantly clear that the bulb of the light beside my bed had burnt out over the course of the night, and the closed blinds didn't aid my vision as I stumbled around my room in search of my door.
An oddity presented itself in the fashion of aimless wondering. Where was the nob? One I'd become so accustomed to.. not needing to open? I'd never closed my door. Not the previous night, not ever. Not to the behest of my mother who'd always taken annoyance to closed doors, some trait of my grandmother's to which my mom had unfortunately inherited.
Breakfast took the form of two strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, and slightly burnt French-Toast. My previous assumption of cinnamon rolls unfortunately missed the mark, however I wouldn't object to this. I wish I could convince myself that I was wrong. Something so mundane, something so insignificant to the events in this story, however the first notable instance of a curse that I couldn't pinpoint
My mother had already seen herself off to work by this point, and so I was faced with the responsibilities of seeing myself out to the bus. Some routine I'd become far too used to; The minutes passed, leaving me with nothing to do but wait by the door for a buss that would never arrive.
If the door being shut and the cinnamon rolls being a different meal entirely had left me with a minor confusion, then suddenly being seated in the passenger seat of my mother's car listening to the nonchalant complaints from my twin sister about the nuances freshmen year math shot me into a disarray I couldn't possibly quantify.
I think one of the scariest things for me is the fact that I thought nothing of it. I hadn't freaked out. No scene was made to express what should have been one of the more disturbing instances of my childhood.
I could chalk up the mistaking breakfast for something else as me just misremembering events.. But something unmistakable is the fact that somehow my mom both never drove me to school, yet the fact that she.. always had.
If you're confused, I understand. I am too, because the contradicting nature of my memory is something that haunts me to no end.
Things were easier as a child. That's often the case, but ever sense I stopped aging, I've begun to notice the oddities presented by life that are.. inexplainable. I'm not even sure where to start with researching my predicament. Hell, this is reddit! If I couldn't find an answer here, I doubt there is an answer to be found at all.
The Mandela Effect is something that I feel needs no introduction. To those who don't know, the Mandela Effect, in brief, is a phenomenon that incurs when you "misremember" something. Think of a card, now imagine you saw that card as a child and it had a single heart drawn on it's center. Now, years later you are discussing this card with someone else just for them to tell you that the heart you swear, the heart you KNOW you saw.. was a diamond. You tell them they are wrong, you shake your head, chuckle nervously.. But then they present you with the card.
Your stomach drops. This can't be the card, there is no way! Only it is the card, and when you come to the realization that it is in fact the card you'd seen as a child, you are filled with a mix of confusion, fascination, and quite possibly denial.
Most often, the Mandela Effect is associated with silly things like books titles, and board game mascots, but my experience is far beyond such things. It's the only phenomenon I've found that seems even within the realm of explaining my predicament. Problem is, the more I think, the more is wrong.
All of me wishes it all ended with that one childhood experience! But it didn't. In fact, the more I consider my childhood, the more contradictions I notice. Part of me believes I could handle this if it was limited to my childhood, but it's not. This.. experience... It effects my every day!
I'm not losing my mind, I'm just picking up crumbs that I never dropped. Not.. losing my mind, just finding more "mind" than the inventory should account for.

My most recent psychosis occurred due to a number of underlying reasons that I was dealing with over a 6-8 week period and was mostly delusional.
The lead up to it - I had just finished the largest engineering project that I had been working on for two years,. My wife and I were having a very difficult and stressful time, with disagreements all the time.
My body was yelling and screaming for help and I could feel it from deep down inside me. I went to see doctors and psychologists but it didn't do it for me.. A childhood friend then passed away and that tipped me over.. All of a sudden I was placing myself in my friends place and I had all these questions that I had for myself.
I took a few days off work in the hope that it would get better, however, as I returned I just felt exhausted and overcooked. That's when I started to lose it... Note that I wasn't doing any hard drugs at the time, nor was I drinking, but in that upleading week, I was having the occasional nitrous oxide (N20) cannisters.
I went to get my tarot cards read upon returning to work (first time). The lady who conducted the card reading told me to choose the cards when "I feel the energy above the deck".. I actually felt the cards drawing my hand closer to them. I received the following cards, all of which seemed were of major importance to me: (1) Stand your Ground, (2) Hope, (3) Foundation & Achievements, (4) Base Chakra, (5) The Waiting Game, (6) Third Eye Chakra, (7) Love Begins, (8) Spiritual Union, (9) Intuition, (10) Conquer & Defeat.
..That night I went for a walk, I saw a shooting star - it was the first time that I had seen one and was so beautiful. I rushed into tell my wife about the tarot cards and the shooting star.. we both broke down in tears. Later on that evening I would tune into Youtube, and learn more about finance, investing, life, philosophy and music - all of which were major interests in my life.
The next morning I woke up and got ready to go to work. I couldn't help myself but start crying when all of my songs came on. Notorious BIG - Juicy: "Born sinner, the opposite of a winner, remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner".. I had sardines for dinner growing up too, and I could literally taste my mothers sardine dish in my mouth while the song was playing... As I raced onto the highway, it felt as though I was so connected to everything. I rolled the windows down and felt the air around me...The number plates around me "8SAMA" - which I had a feeling that there was going to be a terrorist attack occurring in the not too distant future. "FX Silver" - I was speculating with precious metals back at that time and thought it was a sign that due to the terror attack, silver was going to increase in price. "IDK IDK" - I was listening to the song I don't know by Tion Wayne, Stormzy, etc. the night before my psychosis.. Everything around me was providing me with signs and nothing was a coincidence. It felt like I was enlightened or something?
I called my brother in the morning who lived abroad, he said that he was being overworked and stressed out. He wanted to head to New York for new years eve and I immediately told him not to go as something bad was going to happen. When I went back into the office, I felt as though there would be some kind of market correction before the terror event occured, so I tried to sell all of my crypto, the only problem was, when I entered all of my key seed phrases, one of them somehow disappeared and I could no longer access my crypto wallet. That was when everything cracked further.. I thought the government was onto me as I had put all the pieces of the puzzle together and started to warn people around me.
I grabbed my manager from the office and told him I needed to speak to them. I wanted to come clean with everything that had happened. During this time I felt at peace and in this blissful place. I was seeing visual signs of things from my past which were interacting with my present moment .. it felt like everything around me was staged. I came clean to the manager and told them that I had been struggling at work, and using drugs and alcohol to cope, I said that it also put so much strain on my relationship and my wife was going to leave me. At this time it felt like the police had wire tapped my manager and everything I was saying was going on record. I was trying to outsmart him with every question that they had for me and it was like I was playing 4d chess in my head. We spent close to 2.5 hours talking about my situation -at every stage I was waiting for when the popo were going to pop out and arrest me.
My wife had been contacted and came to pick me up. She took me back home, but while I went home I thought that our house had been bugged and wired. To me our neighbours were acting odd, and so many things were working in my head, I just didn't know how to relax and calm down. The next day I was taken to my parents place, and I initially started by doing a little bit of exercise, I still felt as though the police were after me and I had something to prove to the world. I then had a panic attack, where I legitimately felt as though I couldn't breathe, my wife and family rushed me to the emergency department at the hospital, and I was met with a psychiatrist who put me on a large dose of antipsychotic medication. Don't know where I'd be without my wife to support me through everything.
I then came back and rested. Slowly but surely I started to realise that I had just experienced a psychotic episode that lasted for several days. Following this event, I had a major depressive episode, which took months for me to recover, and approximately one year later I am in a better place mentally, but I am still not 100 %.
It turns out I have a family history of this sort of bullshit that nobody told me about, and being exposed to drugs and alcohol would only increase the risk of any symptoms. I've been off all the drugs and attempting to stop alcohol, and live a more holistic, natural life. Let's see what happens. For anyone dealing newly dealing with it or in the process of recovering, it gets better. Keep your head up.
<3

I am a brazilian Ph.D student at a brazilian university and am currently studying in Australia through a brazilian scholarship I was awarded. My project here started in the end of march and I will be moving back to Brazil approximately 11 months from now.
Last week I got an e-mail from HR offering a one-time financial support for students that were facing unexpected financial problems. It would be awarded in the form of a gift card of $100-200. I completely ignored it since that was not my case. Deadline was april 10.
However, today I got another e-mail, this time from a student representative, saying that it can be very challenging to evaluate our own situation and judge if we are in need of support when we don't know the situation of our peers. and that if, for any reason, we thought we might benefit from this support, we are encouraged to apply for it. They use examples such as fixing an appliance, having kids, needing to buy furniture or winter clothes.
While I don't feel like I'm in need for financial support, my family and I don't have any savings or anything that would make me be above average, and brazilian money is worth little here. I live in a bedroom in a shared house along with 3 flatmates and a dog. I eat healthy and cook a lot, so I get not to spend all the money I earn from the brazilian funding agency. I just got myself a new laptop cause my old one had a broken screen and in july my girlfriend's coming from Brazil to visit.
I could definitely benefit from the support, but I just don't want to take anything that other people would need more. On the other hand, the e-mail I got today makes it look like they really want us to accept it even if we're not in need. I mean, being in need to me, as a brazilian, means to be starving or not being able to pay rent, and I don't know if that applies here in the land down under. I really don't want to be an asshole here.
TL;DR: I am not starving or struggling with finances, but could definitely use some extra money as a foreigner studying in Australia. Should I accept the money that the institute seems so eager for us to do?

BUY DRS HODL.
I am sure you have heard this often enough, billionaires don’t hold cash (according to The Billion Dollar Secret). They finance their purchases, using their portfolio as collateral. Whereas typical household investors use credit card with exorbitant interest, they have been buying things with their bank loans.
Why would they do that? To have more money of course. The portfolio that you did not sell, are unrealised gains. And this is not taxable (please do correct me if I am wrong). And the growth of the stocks is often more than the interest charged on the bank loan.
But hang on, don’t they have to pay back the loans? That’s the funny part, they don’t (https://www.ft.com/content/ebf761ea-fcc8-4fd4-a636-87561398da3e). They will only pay the interest and hold the loan till forever.
So, when GME moons and “Lie under oath” Ken Griffin has to sell his Florida home to cover the shorts…. No, don’t, keep your money and let the house rots. Use your portfolio to do something good, supporting your favourite company, GME.
And please plan ahead, this is by no means condoning excessive borrowings. We are better than those hedgies who definitely require a bailout after this.

In the verdant landscapes of Kerala, where the air is heavy with the scent of spices and the backwaters weave intricate patterns through the land, lies a hidden gem for travelers seeking authentic experiences – Kerala House Homestays in Palakkad. Nestled amidst the lush greenery, these homestays offer more than just accommodation; they provide a gateway to the heart and soul of Kerala’s culture, tradition, and hospitality.
Embracing Authenticity:
Kerala House Homestays in Palakkad are not your typical lodging options; they are windows to the vibrant culture and lifestyle of Kerala. From the moment you step into one of these homestays, you are greeted with warm smiles and genuine hospitality that instantly makes you feel like a part of the family. The traditional architecture, often characterized by sloping roofs, wooden interiors, and open verandas, transports you to a bygone era, while still offering modern comforts.
Culinary Delights:
One of the highlights of staying at a Kerala House Homestay is undoubtedly the culinary experience. Kerala cuisine is a celebration of flavors, with dishes rich in spices, coconut, and fresh seafood. At these homestays, guests are treated to homemade meals prepared with love and care by skilled local chefs. From appam and stew for breakfast to traditional sadya (feast) served on banana leaves for lunch, every meal is a culinary journey that tantalizes the taste buds and leaves a lasting impression.
Immersive Experiences:
Beyond just accommodation and food, Kerala House Homestays offer a plethora of immersive experiences that allow guests to delve deeper into the local culture. Whether it’s learning the art of traditional Kerala cooking, trying your hand at weaving coconut leaves to make roof thatches, or joining the family for a boat ride along the tranquil backwaters, every moment spent here is filled with opportunities to create cherished memories.
Connecting with Nature:
Palakkad is blessed with abundant natural beauty, from lush forests and rolling hills to serene backwaters and cascading waterfalls. Kerala House Homestays provide the perfect base for exploring this pristine landscape. Guests can embark on guided nature walks through spice plantations, go birdwatching in the nearby forests, or simply unwind amidst the tranquility of nature, far away from the hustle and bustle of city life.
Personalized Hospitality:
What sets Kerala House Homestays apart is the personalized attention and care that each guest receives. Unlike hotels, where you are just another room number, here you are treated as an honored guest, with hosts going above and beyond to ensure your comfort and satisfaction. Whether it’s arranging customized tours, organizing cultural performances, or simply engaging in heartfelt conversations over a cup of chai, the hospitality extended at these homestays is truly unparalleled.
The Best Homestays in Palakkad:
While there are numerous homestays in Palakkad, a few stand out for their exceptional service, ambiance, and authenticity. Among them, "Nila Homestay" exudes old-world charm with its traditional Kerala architecture and serene surroundings. "Kairali Heritage" offers a unique blend of luxury and heritage, with spacious rooms overlooking lush gardens. "Manalur Illam" is perfect for those seeking an offbeat experience, with its rustic charm and close proximity to nature.
In a world where travel has become synonymous with ticking off bucket lists and snapping Instagram-worthy photos, kerala house homestay in Palakkad offer a refreshing alternative – a chance to slow down, immerse oneself in local culture, and forge meaningful connections with both people and nature. Whether you’re a solo traveler seeking solitude, a couple looking for a romantic getaway, or a family craving an authentic cultural experience, a stay at one of these homestays promises to be a memorable journey filled with warmth, laughter, and a generous dose of Kerala’s famed hospitality.

Anyone anywhere know of any prog house happenings planned over the course of LIB? I'm thinking like Hernan, Guy J, or Digweed...
There's nothing I know of that's officially on any stage lineup, and the art cars aren't showing their cards yet (tho the banana is good on their funk n bass house), so I'm just wondering if anyone knows any off the top of the brain? I hope to scratch that itch but it's not lookin like the year for it...

For mods: Ive seen a therapist and gone to drs and even talked to pastors about these demon Accounters. Drs dont find ntn wrong, therapist said i have PTSD but ntn abt the demons basically saying i have ptsd but it dosent tie to the demon accounters, pastors say i have gifts (I saw the post abt mental health)
Back ground:
I (18F) have a LONG history of being able to see demons and as a child even befriending these demons my family is very religious but have alot of generational traumas, abuse and curses my family only 3 generations back starting to go to God but alot of my secondary family are in like cards and stuff even some saintinists (however u spell it) so I have alot of gifts alot of spiritual power from my family being into alot of voodoo cards but ny family grew up in church as Christians so even then I believe God gave me the ability to see things also as I've been told by pastors God told them I was destined to be something big ig like being able to see the supernatural. But growing up it was tough at 4yrs old a demon tried to choke me and even r@pe me that said demon was my friend before he tried that I would talk to myself and even serve myself 2 bowls/plates of food for me and him we moved houses soon after but we quickly found out it wasn't the house when I was attacked again at 11 in my dream a demon girl crawled on top of me about to claw me when I woke up I felt her presence and looked to see where I felt her and I saw her then you'll see later I had sleep paralysis also where a demon tried dragging me to hell I've even woken up to a demon yelling in my ear "he's here" or "he's coming" or in the middle of class (in the middle of tests so complete silence) or in restrooms I'll hear demons saying my name and people think I'm crazy when I respond with yea? Or what? Or hello? Cuz I genuinely think it's someone around me when it's not...I've never seen angels only demons...with this I can tell when someone is evil or has other intentions or when there fake yk...
1st sleep paralysis:
I've have had sleep paralysis before I was in the 6th grade (11-12) and in my dream there was an earthquake I almost got him by a train and car there were twin girls holding a blanket and they wanted to hurt me and I was flung into the air by the earthquake and it was so chaotic and my friend told me to land on my side to take out most of the pain so I don't die from the fall and I landed on my side and as soon as I hit the floor I blacked out and woke up irl I woke up and I was Hallucinating the earthquake and I saw a demons hand come up from the ground and grab my ankle and tried dragging me to hell I tried screaming and I couldn't I tried moving I couldn't I was so acred and I finally shot up screaming and my leg was out stretched I found out it was sleep paralysis and as u can gusse I fell asleep on my back
The actual situation that just occurred:
but this time it didn't feel that way...I slept on my stomach/side (more stomach) and I had no prior dreams I woke up and my body felt weak drained of energy I couldn't move my body felt weird tingly almost I tried to open my eyes and I did ever so slowly and when I did I saw a black figure (demon) in front of me I immediately was terrified but I was so drained my eyes kept trying close and he was walking towards me as I falling back asleep and I tried to keep my eyes open everything I lost sight of him fear gone saw him fear was back ever so strong he claimed on top of me his body going threw mine and like layed in the same position as me like fusing with me kinda as soon as he did everything I felt before was 10x worse I felt MORE drained more fear more anxiety everything I was forced to close my eyes and all I could think was Jesus Jesus jesus!!! Jesus please help me! What's going on?! And I felt the presence leave my body I tried to open my eyes again my body still drained and I saw him he was standing there in front of me still and I didn't have the energy to stay awake no more I passed out didn't wake up till 5:30pm...
Question:
Is it possession or another sleep paralysis?!

What happened when I came out to my ex
So we were introduce by a Kendra Lee Taylor (filler generic name) (her at the time best friend), and she was Jessica Lilly Wilson (another filler generic name) . And this is what happened
Sooo. For one, I'm transgender. (Mtf), and I was with my abusive ex (cis woman), since literally high-school. We were together for a long time, I told her I would ".Wear women's clothes, and fantasize about being a woman. And for some reason dressing as one in private helped me cope sometimes." I also had expressed that sometimes it would cause me to get turned on (what the trans community later described as 'euphoria erections'). She didn't mind, atleast she said she didn't, she said she thought it was sexy, she liked a 'guy in touch with his feminine side' ,and she was bisexual anyways. I had coped with my gender issues (which i didn't fully realize were gender issues due to upbringing) , by just having these private escapes, often with her as an audience. She turned it more and more sexual though. Often whenever I was just relaxing in fem clothes she ALWAYS progressed it to sex. Now I had a bit of a 'being dominated' fetish I'm not gonna lie. But often she wanted me to do things I thought were really.gross. like making me sit in our sex juices, or sit with my own ejaculate on myself. She had a weird and honestly sick fetish for stuff like that. Specific to males in panties. And I kinda just coped with life with the mentality of " well I get to have the family the 'good Christian kid' and his high-school sweetheart. And my mother will one day look at grand babies and love the hell out of em, and that'll make all this worth it. Also I want to clarify, Post transition (so as a woman) I would be a lesbian. I've never been attracted to men. Another reason why my gender issues confused me so much. I also ALWAYS was just as honest with my partner (my abuser), as I was with myself at any given time in regards to this issue. So its not like I was a total closet case to my at the time gf. Sadly my mother got really sick. And no. She didn't make it. She went rather fast. It was devastating, tbh we had a more matriarchal system in our household, despite our father being a religious zealot. She ran the home, and he normally caved to what she wanted. I became so deeply depressed I was going to genuinely kill myself. Eventually one day I just told my partner, " I need to explore my fem side and figure out what this gender issue is, and I need to fully explore it, to see if my feminine side is just latent desires I couldn't act on when younger or if I was actually trans. " she VERY reluctantly , and angrily one day took me to get some clothes of my own. A padded bra, multiple women's underwear, and some thigh highs, and agreed to let me continue to borrow some of her stuff, until I got more items. We began exploring. Well I did, she kept trying to fetishize it, and when I told her no, or when I stayed dressed even after sex. She would get beyond huffy with me. She started getting more and more mean to me as I continued to explore in a non sexualized way. I eventually one night extremely scared and sobbing, told her I was trans and there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. So I braced for impact, expecting her to break up with me. I was astounded she said " There is nothing wrong with you, its the 2020s, and people are becoming more accepting now." I was terrified, knowing my dad was never gonna accept it, and my brothers were a coin toss, though I knew my.younger one most likely wouldn't care. And I didn't think my older one really would either but still. Hiwever as I continued in my path to coming out as a transwoman. She got more and more verbally and maliciously abusive, she sabotaged things I was beginning to try, she berated me constantly and even tried to delay my coming out. I eventually started dressing as a woman full time, except at work. And around my bio family. I started hrt in private, except my partner and her parents knew. (She was my abuser not my partner). She turned from a sweet borderline feminist, and fairly sensible liberal gal, to an irl reddit cringelord for lack of a better term. She started taking these really jacked up takes, that she never espoused before, and calling me names like " gender retard". I kept pleading with her to stop, that if she wanted to break up we just could, I'd need some time to find a place, but everything could be amicable (btw I was clear that this option always was on the table), and It was ok if she didn't wanna stay alot of couples split after a transition and that doesn't make you a bigot. But if you want to keep trying, please stop mistreating me. Several of my friends had wanted me to dump her for how she was acting. But I foolishly believed she loved me and was just having a hard time. But eventually she dumped me and at the worst time, I had lost a job , got a new job, and had to leave it for safety reasons and was basically financially dependent on her, despite wanting to leave but needing an exit strategy. She turned our new apartment (after we fled her parents house) into a horror house. I still to this day have nightmares of waking up on the couch with her about to walk through the door. The abuse was horrible. At one point comongntoca head with her brutally beating me black and blue. I didnt fight back. Within a few weeks I was on sidewalks. We had a savings account that I had helped build for over SEVEN years. And it was in her name. And she kept all of it. I was homeless and still technically am. But am housed. I don't know how to have peace. I see her when I close my eyes. I hear her insults in my head. And I'm STILL recovering from her financial abuse. What do I do? Please...

Hiii! I'd like to start off by saying that it's tragic that there are others that share my suffering of having unwanted dogs pushed on them but I'm glad I'm not alone in that. None of you deserve it and I really hope that your situations get better someday because living with shitty dogs you never wanted fucking sucks! I myself am currently coping with a situation surrounding my dad and two dogs that belong to our neighbours. Allegedly at least. In reality? Hmm... bit more complex than that - I don't know if I'm just being overdramatic, it is kind of jumbled and really long, but I'm just so tired of dealing with this and I want someone to hear it
For some context behind the living situation, I am unfortunately at a few months into 27 still living with my parents who rent a townhouse 🙁 It's my own fault really and I have a feeling the situation I'm in now may be fate's rendering of judgement on me for growing up into a failure. It's a really long story but the summary is that I was in a deep depression spiral for a bunch of reasons leading me to make sooo many poor financial and educational decisions starting around late elementary school to last year. About 2 years ago I finally started taking steps towards fixing my problems which included some soul searching within, but I think I've got another year or two yet before I'd consider myself comfortable enough financially to finally get out of here and away from this demented doggy day care more or less for good. For what it might be worth, while I don't pay rent I do help out with chores and pay for various things in general - I've fronted pet supplies and vet bills, gas, groceries, purchased furniture, kitchen tools, paid my mom's car insurance when she's been late on it because of my dad's drinking, paid for maintenance stuff such as some supplies to fix holes or damage that my dad puts in walls and doors, among other things like you know, random stuff that needs fixing haha. I want to think I'm not a *complete* parasite, but I totally understand if you still see me as one. Really, I get it. I promise you I'm trying and I will be useful one day. Until then though, 😔
My parents currently own 3 dogs and 2 cats so it's already pretty crowded here and to top it off I have a mild allergy to pet hair so the only time I ever have a clear nose is when I'm out of the house: a 10yr old schipperke named Kallie, a 4yr old golden retriever named Sundance, and some kind of mix that reminds me of a GSD mixed with a pitbull I guess that's like idk 2-3yrs old - her name is Suzuki and she's a rescue that my parents brought back after selling something to a Kijiji buyer. Dunno her breed exactly though. The cats are a black cat named Ninja that we've had since 2014 and a tabby stray named Loki that followed us home from a dumpster a few years ago so we decided to keep her. I love them both so much and Loki is especially dear to me and is actually closer to being my cat than my parents' cat - I am 100% taking her when I leave. They are relevant to this further down trust me.
For the record I don't have issues with Kallie and Sundance and actually do love them a lot despite the fact that I'm not actually the biggest fan of dogs - they're an exception, and I warmed up to Suzuki about a year ago though she has an issue which is relevant for the problem animals.
Several other dogs that weren't ours have been through this house in the past as my dad is well, soft-hearted and naive when it comes to specifically animals. Some of them have been problems. Some of them represent Problems. All of the extra dogs have been unilaterally his decision and any voice of disapproval ignites a conflict. Right now there are 2 other dogs on top of the family 3 and these two are the Big Problems™️ rn: the first one is a shitzuo (emphasis on the SHIT) named Keno or Kino or who fucking cares I'll just call him Keno. The other one is a mix of something that looks a little like Suzuki, but is white and might have a little chihuahua in him. His name is Benji. I'll start with Benji since I actually have sympathy for his owner and as much as I find him annoying he has some potential to be a decent dog one day if given the proper support, but that's not my problem as it's not my dog.
Benji is a younger doggo, about a year old. His owner is a single mom currently going through a bad divorce from what I hear which honestly is really unfortunate and I do hope her situation improves someday. He's kinda friendly most of the time, but his owner has still not gotten him fixed, which is an issue particularly because of how much time he spends in the same house as Suzuki, who my mom has not gotten fixed either despite my offers to pay for it and attempts to schedule it for her. I regularly stop Benji's attempts to mount her, but I know I won't be able to stop it forever and I'm terrified of the outcome. Every time I bring it up to my parents, I am either blown off with a half-thought response or (in the case of my dad) straight up yelled at and threatened as this dog is apparently just "playing" or "fighting for dominance." 🫠 I just don't want to have to exist next to a bunch of puppies that my parents are completely incapable of taking care of but there's nothing I can do about it. God, imagining the noise level and smell of the house makes me shiver. Aaaaaa. Benji is also an extremely pushy and jealous dog as he's still very young and isn't being trained adequately by either his owner or my dad - I cannot pet the family dogs without this little annoyance trying to worm his way in and interrupt. One positive I can think of is that he at least defers to me and folds over in submission the moment I express any kind of disapproval. Well, that and he isn't Keno.
Keno is.... a fucking NIGHTMARE that is driving me to insanity and I am devoting basically the rest of this rant to this untrained monstrosity and its neglectfully absent handlers. I have never, in my entire life, EVER, hated a dog more than this shaggy, aggressive, shrieking rat. It all started about six months ago when some neighbours who I've never met in my life got this stupid idiot dumbshit animal as a rescue. My mom let it come over once and I had one of those really bad gut feelings. My dad then suggested to them that he could keep an eye on it, as both of the owners work all day and don't get home until later while my dad is at home usually as he's on disability. From then on this curly-haired terror has been at our house almost 7 days a week, for at LEAST 12 hours a day. Let's see if I can describe just much I hate this animal without hitting a character limit.
The dog wasn't (and still isn't) yard trained or outside-trained in general. This dog is like 2 years old or something and every time I've brought it up my dad freaks out and says "that's not going to happen, that's just how he is! Get used to it!" My dad's solution is to cover our ENTIRE front entrance into the building hallway in piss pads. Yea, training pads. These are filled up multiple times a day - sometimes multiple times an HOUR ... you can imagine the amount of garbage this creates which my dad then complains about having to deal with (he's the ONLY reason this dog still comes here) - and yes, he throws the used piss pads in the KITCHEN TRASH, YOU KNOW, THE ONES WITH FECES AND URINE ON THEM 🙃The dog regularly misses too and wastes all over the floor and wall! I rented a carpet cleaner for when I moved rooms and my mom decided to use it after to clean up the entrance way, hahaha, it was pissed up less than 2 hours later! The doors and walls around there are starting to be stained by dog piss and it gets worse when the pads get moved around for whatever reason. If you were to look closely, you may see tiny streaks from where the dog rushed to its mandatory shitting sessions. We used to have a bench beside the door for putting on shoes and stuff, and the closet was actually used for coats, hats, and things. Now the whole area has been devoted to this walking feces factory and on top of that the perpetually soiled pads sit in front of our downstairs bathroom as well. Suffice to say that I have not used that washroom in nearly six months and only make use of the upstairs one now. Petty? Maybe. Legend has it that some of my makeup is still in there.
As mentioned earlier, from what I've been told this dog is a rescue. It has behaviour problems. Crazy, I know. You'd be shocked to know that its owners are not experienced with handling rescues. It barks at many, oh many things. There is not a single multicellular organism in this city that this thing has not barked at. When it gets let outside, the very first thing it does is run to the end of the yard and shriek at the sky! And this thing is one of those dogs that has the projection of a large dog, but the bark of a small one. Yea, it's actually piercing, and if I'm in the same room as it my ears physically hurt when it barks and leaves my ears ringing. Definitely an effective deterrent, as I don't really leave my room anymore while it's here, so I guess I basically don't leave my room anymore except to go to work or cook... Of course this dog does more than bark though! It's actually fairly aggressive, too, because of course it is. You cannot discipline this dog, both because of the coddling my father does for it and the dog's own reaction to various techniques. Very growly and bares its teeth. I went to close the living room curtain once and the dog snapped at my hand, biting me. It has bitten me again one other time when I shooed it out of my new room that I was cleaning out (note: my dad yelled at me later because it's "Keno's relaxing spot" and I'm cruel to take that away from it, don't worry it hasn't been back in since) I'm not allowed to teach this dog in any way, as any genuine attempt from me (mainly out of desperation to make what time I have left in this house livable I don't actually want to teach this mutt, I want it gone) is swiftly shut down by my dad who says once again that the dog will never learn and that's just how it is. GREAT. GET RID OF THE FUCKING THING THEN IF ITS UNFIXABLE. Oh, it's your "duty" to ensure the dog doesn't get put down apparently, because that's what will 100% happen if the dog gets given up according to him. He's not a "killer" 🙄 mf hearing that is unbelievably infuriating this dog will have no fucking chance in the future if it doesn't get given up at least now it could potentially be taken care of by someone halfway decent at it. I've told him multiple times that him ENABLING these dipshit owners is just causing more problems for this awful animal further down the road. I hate the shit out of this thing and I'm still trying to think of its well-being. UGH.
God tho, words cannot describe how much of a trigger this dog's bark is. I hate it. I cannot stand it. It's an audible plague. It worms through earplugs, headphones, walls. I cannot get it out of my fucking mind. Even on the few days this dog isn't here, I can still hear it shrieking away a few doors down. It's barking as I type this part someone save me this dog allegedly was supposed to go home an hour ago. The latest this thing has stayed was until 11:30 PM. What the fuck.
Apparently the dog is fixed. However for some reason it repeatedly tries to mount Suzuki. It does not do that with the other dogs who are all fixed. Huh. Oh, it also likes to rub up against the only part of our couch with an arm rest and has claimed it as its territory - actually briefly fought with Benji over it two weeks ago. Mom said it was a serious incident but nothing came of it, as usual haha. Whatever, point is this dog is a problem in yet another way. I love being told off about not wanting this dog to rub its fucking ass up against my thigh while I'm trying to just sit on the couch for whatever reason at the time.
What makes my blood boil the most about the behaviour though is how this dog treats our cats and even the other neighbour's dog. It's a fucking menace, an actual danger. It chases and harasses our cats in some attempt to police them or something. If Loki jumps onto a high point that she regularly lounges at, he dashes at her and barks at her. If Ninja meows at the door to be put on a leash in the yard, he barks and chases him. This dog has lunged at our cats more than once. I'm scared that something is going to happen to them because those things happen way faster than one can stop them. I don't know if I could handle seeing that image in reality. I really don't think I could. I hope I don't have to and even writing about the possibility gives me anxiety and the fact that my dad jokes about how Keno "definitely came from a family where he was supposed to keep an eye on a cat" just brings me to my fucking limit as it is. I nearly had that sort of scare a couple months ago when Benji and Keno were scrapping in my dad's room. I saw that they were getting too aggressive, but my dad has made it umm, very clear that I am not allowed to police them on it. So yea, it happened super quick - Keno clamped down on Benji's throat and hurt him. While the little guy lived, he now has a semi-persistent cough and at the time I genuinely thought the dog was gonna cross the forever bridge as he was struggling to breathe for like 10min. What changed from this incident? Well, nothing! My dad blamed Benji. I feel really bad about the incident as there was a brief window where I could have stopped it, but my fear of causing an argument with my dad led to an animal getting hurt, even if it's one I'm not a huge fan of.
Where are the owners? Haha. At work apparently. As mentioned, the dog is here nearly 7 days a week, at least 12 hours a day, usually longer than that (7am to 7pm, but this dog has fucking arrived at like 6:10am before.) Weekends are supposed to be a reprieve from this demon, but every couple weekends it'll come over on those days too and sometimes for completely fucking random reasons! Aren't owners usually comfy leaving their dog at their house for two hours? Why the fuck are these people unable to do that? Why do my parents get no notice apparently? Why do my parents take this shit? I am not allowed to voice disapproval towards this dog or the situation of any kind - my dad immediately launches into a tirade more colourful than a pastel palette if I even slightly remind him that I hate this fucking thing. My mom shuts me down - "That's enough.", "Don't", "I don't want your dad to get angry" the last time this happened my dad insisted that either I "love all of them or abuse all of them, no pick and choosing" he then drank himself silly and forgot about it. Why did that happen? I came in the door and pet our dogs plus Benji because he was actually behaving pretty well for once!
Yea the owners are so shitty. Benji's owner has told my mom (who then relayed it to me) about how they find it funny and cute that their awful dog pisses all over our walls and barks teehee 😊 at least Benji's owner tries and walks our schipperke at night sometimes. Keno's diabolical yet incompetent owners very clearly know they have a golden goose in the form of my father who is only spineless when it comes to dogs. He has sadly attached himself to this stupid mutt, and I'm worried that I'm going to have to deal with it for as long as I associate with my parents, at least until it passes. In fact, my dad has straight up said that he considers this dog his own, and part of the family. Many times he has mentioned that poor Keno's "REAL FAMILY" is here in our house. Keno's owners apparently pay my dad $100 a month sometimes for the privilege of letting it ruin this house for a minimum of 60 hours a week. Damn they got a good deal. The owners have other issues too, but basically I just can't believe that this is the hill my dad (and by extension my mom as she's been stockholm'd by my dad) is willing to die on. I can't believe this fucking dog has so much sway in things here. I can't believe my dad constantly praises and gives it love while in the same breath detailling very specifically how much joy I suck away from his life and how much of a regret of his I am. How do I stop being worth less to him than this dog? Before this thing, it was a neighbour's chihuahua named Oreo that also pissed all over the place and yapped. Despite the fact that I'd sometimes exit the shower and have to step over dog shit, I'd much rather have that yappy dog back then keep dealing with this hellspawn. At least back then my father pretended to care about me. I wish this thing would just fucking leave. I wish my mom would actually put her foot down like she says she is. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of being told about how I'm supposed to just LIKE this shitty dog and how my open dislike of it is animal abuse or some shit that's like actually untrue (what the fuck.) I do my best to just ignore it as much as I can but this dog has driven me to crying fits more than once because it Just. Doesn't. Stop. The reminders are everywhere. It's sunken its teeth into every fucking aspect of life here and I am so miserable. If I could afford it I would move out yesterday. I want out so badly but can only bide my time while bitching like some drama queen because I was an idiot
Wow, this has ballooned way beyond how long I thought it'd be. Oops. Hey, even if you don't read it, it felt pretty good to type.
tldr: THESE 2 DOGS ARE SHIT BUT ONE IS SHITTIER AND THE WORST

Please if u have nothing helpful to say just keep scrolling, me and this girl met around 2 weeks ago and it has been amazing, the amount of things we share in common and how we almost think alike in a lot of things, we even have similar hobbies, lately ive been losing my spark for her because of her current behaviour, we have been in like 5-6 dates, we had sex once, and almost everytime we hang out we kiss and treat each other like we are dating, i did the logical thing and asked her what we were and her response was, "is too soon, i dont wanna rush anything", i was fine with that at first, and i also dont wanna rush or force her on making a desicion, time keeps going and i dont feel any change, i know its only been 2 weeks but still, i met her mom her sisters, she met my parents, ive slept over at her house, she slept over at mine, but any time i try to make it official she gives me the same answer, is too soon, and that she isnt ready to give me anymore, and i know some of you are instantly say, well she is not ready, she doesnt text me, she doesnt call me, unless i start it, i have to come up with dates or ideas to hang out, and twice already she canceled on me cuz her friend wanted to hang out with her, i also know her friends and i get along with them so i trust her completly, they are gay, and a few girls, my problem is that i simply dont understand whats happening, anytime i hang out with her i get put into a timer, i get the "well we've hung out for a while now" means its time for me to leave or stop talking to her, ive done everything i can to make her feel comfortable around me, ive taken her to dates and walks and places without asking for anything in return, me and her both play video games, i could be on the menu and she would get on and instantly join someone else to play and doesnt even text me or asks me to play, anytime i facetime her, if she gets any calls she immediatly says im getting a call ill call you later, and i wouldnt hear from her for hours, but when i call her and she is a call, she just doesnt pick up or texts me until she is done, and doesnt even call me, she just texts me, i was in a call, sometimes she doesnt even text me, she doesnt open my texts within 30 mins ever, always 1-4 hours later, i have no idea what she is doing, and i know she doesnt owe me anything, but if she is taking her time to see if im worthy then at least i should also know whats going on, im not just gonna sit here and wait for someone until they decide sorry ur not it, my feelings also matter to me and i also dont wanna get hurt, i made clear to her what my intentions are, i told her i wanted something serious and i was looking to hopefully settle down in the future with my next partner and she told me, that was exactly what she needed, and she introduced me to her son, and that went super well, he is a super dope kid, 6yo, he even told her that he liked me and i was his new friend, that made me really happy and i bought him a fortnite gift card, he was super excited about it and she was happy that unlike her ex i actually cared about him. Lately, i figured maybe she just needs space, i havent really texted her or called her in the past 2 days and just like i thought it would happen, she hasnt bothered to text me or call me at all, i even showed up to her place last night and wished her happy mothers day, got her flowers, candle and some bath salt she been wanting, but i noticed that she was wearing a dress which means she had gone out with her friend and i didnt even know, this is where im at rn, before going to bed i texted her 2 hours ago, "hey wyd" which is how she texts me when she does, and i got left on delivered, but not too long ago i was playing with one of her friends and he read outloud a text from her asking him if he wanted to play, and that made me feel extremaly anxious, not jealous, i felt abandoned, alone, dissapointed and worthless. I feel this void in my chest and i cant get it to go away, the void is so big that my brain wont even stop thinking about it, i cant function, i cant have fun i cant do anything else without feeling it, i dont know what to do. Am i really overthinking? i did brought this up to her and her response was the same, "im healing from my last relationship, this is everything i can give for now", and when we started talking i asked her are you ready to start dating? are u moved on from your ex? and she said yes, so now does she keep saying she needs time to heal?, i thought maybe she lost interest but the other day i was so depleted that i almost walked away and i turned around because her face just turned upside down and she started crying and accepting it, and that broke my heart, i told her i didnt wanna walk away i wanted to figure everything out, she said "its not your fault im just broken, i dont have any emotions left to give, i dont wanna hurt you" but then she started hugging me and didnt let go...

TL;DR WHY IS SHE SO CONFUSING, if you read it all, i know i couldve prob made it easier to read, but i really needed to get it out of my chest, thank you, i just need an outside pov without all the emotions im feeling clouding my judgment, i really dont know what to do, i feel stuck in limbo 

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Throw away account, Around, late april, M(20) found out, my sister wanted to spend a weekend with her boyfriends house. My family is fairly conservative and boyfriends M(20) family is pretty liberal, he went to an international school and is not pure Filipino.
I'm from the Philippines where people are pretty conservative so naturally my Christian Family was taken aback, denied her from going despite her insistence and flew her back home as she goes to college really pretty away, this was during their ILW which is basically a week where all classes are online, so she technically had class for a week. Now she's extremely angry why she wasn't allowed to go, angry at the whole family and me (because I agreed that she shouldn't have gone).
I said that we wanted what was best for her and just want to look out for her, in the family we have a history of unplanned pregnancies and women not being able to pursue their dreams (i.e stopping college) so that to probably motivated the reactions, when she was home they discussed it in depth on why such a thing wasn't allowed, at no point did we insist they break up, and I actually would prefer someone to be there for here when we cant. She keeps insisting the boyfriend who she's been dating for about 3-4 months now has the best intentions and they wouldn't be having sex.
I know this is a pretty liberal platform and most of you think that sex isn't a big thing but It is for our family, and allowing the eldest daughter in the family to spend a few days at the boyfriends place who we haven't formally met was out of the question, we've met on occasion but haven't really talked in length because her college is pretty far from mine. It puts a strain in our family and I want to know how to navigate the situation. I've already planned to meet and have lunch with the guy in a few days to get to know him, but would like additional input into the situation. I know not to aggravate her even more by disagreeing with her, but I would just like to know everyone's thoughts on the situation.

Really struggling emotionally with what my experience is “labeled”. I know physical abuse, I know emotional abuse. Is this considered sexual abuse?
THE ABUSE: My father loved to spank. It was almost like a sport to him, he would literally aim and move his hand in certain ways right before hitting as if he was warming up. He used his hand, but a lot of the times a belt was used. We had a dedicated spanking room in our house. He also loved to humiliate and embarrass.
This is where it’s very painful. There were times when my father would rip down our pants and underwear or lift up our dress/nightgown to remove underwear. Or sometimes he would order us to do it ourselves. He would use either his hand or a belt on our bare bottoms.
There was one instance that I remember that was insanely traumatic for me. I was showering with my little sister. I was around 8 years old and I was insanely insecure about my body. I didn’t want anyone seeing my body. All of a sudden we hear my father BANGING on the door screaming in a rage. I wrapped up in a towel and opened the door. He jerked me across the room into the bedroom, ripped the towel off my body, told me to put my hands on the bed (part of his spanking ritual) and beat me while I was completely nude. I remember feeling so confused and absolutely beyond violated and embarrassed. The most heartbreaking part was that I did nothing “wrong”, he was just mad and I was there to take his anger out. I still remember looking over at my little sister, nude with her hands on the bed, staring into space waiting for her beating.
I also recall another strange incident around the same age. I was showering (glass shower) and all of a sudden I hear “hey Jane”, I look over and he’s in the corner of the bathroom. I scream and cover my body, and he laughs and leaves.
THE EFFECTS: At this age (8) is when I began to experience issues with my bladder, specifically paruresis (shy bladder syndrome). I could no longer pee in a public restroom if someone was nearby. It got very bad in high school, my mother would have to pick me up from school to pee at home. It got to the point where I still couldn’t pee when I got home, and my mother would have to leave the house in order for me to pee. I began to have other health issues as a teenager, and two doctors asked if I had ever experienced sexual abuse. This is the first time I had questioned my past.
Once I hit my 20s and moved away from home, I began having nightmares of people trying to remove my clothes, or someone trying to pull a blanket off of me while I’m nude underneath. I always feel like people are looking at my ass. My hips sway forward and I clench my butt cheeks sometimes if someone is standing behind me. I’m now 25, and the years of constantly denying and ignoring my past have officially taken full effect. My abuse is all I think about. I am now in therapy beginning the healing process.

Introduction: Tired of tripping over shoes scattered around your house? A good shoe rack can solve that problem, but which one should you choose? Let’s break down the options: metal vs. wood. Here’s what you need to know to make the best decision for your home.
Metal Shoe Rack: Metal shoe racks have a modern look that fits well with many styles. Here’s why they might be a good fit for you:

1. Toughness: These racks are built to last. They can handle a bunch of shoes without buckling, which is great if you have a big family or lots of shoes.
   
2. Space Saver: Metal shoe racks are slim and compact, perfect for tight spots like hallways or closets. They won’t hog all your space.
   
3. Air Flow: Because they’re open, air can circulate around your shoes, helping to keep them fresh and stink-free.
   
4. Easy to Clean: A quick wipe-down is usually all it takes to keep a metal rack looking good as new.
   
5. Modern Style: If you like a sleek, modern vibe, a metal shoe rack could be just the thing to jazz up your space.
   

Wooden Shoe Rack: Wooden shoe racks bring a cozy, classic feel to any room. Here’s why you might prefer one:

1. Looks: Wood just has a warm, inviting look that many people love. There’s something timeless about it.
   
2. Options Galore: With wood, you can pick from a ton of different styles and finishes to match your taste perfectly.
   
3. Solid as a Rock: Wooden shoe racks are sturdy and reliable. You won’t have to worry about them falling apart on you.
   
4. Versatile: You can use a wooden shoe rack in lots of different places around your home. It’s not just for shoes, either — they make great storage for all sorts of stuff.
   
5. Maintenance: Wooden racks need a little more TLC than metal ones, but many folks think it’s worth it for that natural, rustic charm.
   

Conclusion: When it comes to metal vs. wood shoe racks, it’s all about what works best for you and your home. If you like a sleek, modern look, go for metal. If you prefer something cozy and classic, wood might be more your style. Either way, investing in a good shoe rack will keep your home tidy and your shoes happy.
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So, I [24M] don’t live with her currently. But I am about to join Army and used all my money for a new car. So, I’m literally broke. I’ve been staying with her [24F] for a couple days now. Heour (we picked him out together) youngest cat is a year old. Honestly even though he can be a bit of a hassle, he really is a sweetheart. Like I said, even though we don’t live together we did pick him out together. She has 4 other cats of her own. Moving on.
I noticed last night that he was acting extremely weird. It wasn’t like him to be so….calm, and sensitive I guess. Finally I saw that he was limping, and pointed it out to my girlfriend. She said he probably just hurt it while being rough with her other cats and he’ll be fine..okay. I guess. I have massive anxiety when it comes to animals being hurt. It makes me cry, and again, my anxiety just skyrockets when I see one. I hate it. But, I went with it.
Finally a couple hours later, and he starts HOWLING. He would try to move, make a meow of pain, and then plop down on the floor. Every other cat knew what was up and went over to him, to which he would swat and hiss them away. I started freaking the fuck out and told her we need to take him to the emergency vet. Because what if he fucking broke it, right? But she again, frustratingly said he’ll be fine and we should wait a couple days. Next thing you know it turns into an argument. I start telling her she doesn’t know that and if his leg IS broken shouldn’t we take him just to be sure? Until finally her argument was, “Well I can’t afford it, I have no money.” Which….is partially true I suppose. She’s been having money issues, but quite frankly it’s because she maxes out her fucking credit cards irresponsibly.
We didn’t talk the rest of the night. At all. He would howl occasionally if he moved, but he eventually managed to lay down. I went into the bedroom and just silently cried. Decided to stay up all night until I knew the vet would open, then went up to my girlfriend and told her if she wasn’t going to do it, I will. To which another argument proceeded. Until she just fucking left the house out of anger at like, 9am this morning. So, I said fuck it. Put our cat in the carrier, used her card to grab an Uber (she picked me up, so I didn’t have my car. Left it at Dads) and took him to the vet. Vet said they didn’t see any broken bones or dislocations and he probably just twisted/sprained it while playing too rough. They gave him pain meds and said he’ll be fine, just can’t let him play for a bit. Was about $150. She briefly went off on me over the phone, I told her I’m sorry but I couldn’t just sit and do nothing. And ever since we’ve been avoiding each other around the apartment.
TL;DR: I am broke from new car. Girlfriend and I’s cat was occasionally howling in pain from leg. She didn’t want to take him to vet and instead wait. I refused, used her card to pay for the vet.

Really struggling emotionally with what my experience is “labeled”. I know physical abuse, I know emotional abuse. Is this considered sexual abuse?
THE ABUSE: My father loved to spank. It was almost like a sport to him, he would literally aim and move his hand in certain ways right before hitting as if he was warming up. He used his hand, but a lot of the times a belt was used. We had a dedicated spanking room in our house. He also loved to humiliate and embarrass.
This is where it’s very painful. There were times when my father would rip down our pants and underwear or lift up our dress/nightgown to remove underwear. Or sometimes he would order us to do it ourselves. He would use either his hand or a belt on our bare bottoms.
There was one instance that I remember that was insanely traumatic for me. I was showering with my little sister. I was around 8 years old and I was insanely insecure about my body. I didn’t want anyone seeing my body. All of a sudden we hear my father BANGING on the door screaming in a rage. I wrapped up in a towel and opened the door. He jerked me across the room into the bedroom, ripped the towel off my body, told me to put my hands on the bed (part of his spanking ritual) and beat me while I was completely nude. I remember feeling so confused and absolutely beyond violated and embarrassed. The most heartbreaking part was that I did nothing “wrong”, he was just mad and I was there to take his anger out. I still remember looking over at my little sister, nude with her hands on the bed, staring into space waiting for her beating.
I also recall another strange incident around the same age. I was showering (glass shower) and all of a sudden I hear “hey Jane”, I look over and he’s in the corner of the bathroom. I scream and cover my body, and he laughs and leaves.
THE EFFECTS: At this age (8) is when I began to experience issues with my bladder, specifically paruresis (shy bladder syndrome). I could no longer pee in a public restroom if someone was nearby. It got very bad in high school, my mother would have to pick me up from school to pee at home. It got to the point where I still couldn’t pee when I got home, and my mother would have to leave the house in order for me to pee. I began to have other health issues as a teenager, and two doctors asked if I had ever experienced sexual abuse. This is the first time I had questioned my past.
Once I hit my 20s and moved away from home, I began having nightmares of people trying to remove my clothes, or someone trying to pull a blanket off of me while I’m nude underneath. I always feel like people are looking at my ass. My hips sway forward and I clench my butt cheeks sometimes if someone is standing behind me. I’m now 25, and the years of constantly denying and ignoring my past have officially taken full effect. My abuse is all I think about. I am now in therapy beginning the healing process.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and listening.