I’ve been considering trying to do a cyber job in the af. I graduated with my bachelor in cybersecurity, have 2-3 years of IT experience, and my security+ cert. I’m looking to gain more experience/certs, and travel. I will continue doing research and reach out to a recruiter in due time. Additionally I heard it’s best to go to officer school so I will be applying for that aswell. I have a handful of questions so any insight helps. I used to play college football aswell so fitness tips for basic needed aswell.
1.What are the chances of me getting into ots being it’s competitive and I graduated in ‘21? Does my gpa still mean a lot in the decision?
2.I found interest in these 6 jobs. Can anyone explain a day to day to these(preferably the cyber ones)
1b4x1 - cyber warfare operations 1d7x1 cyber defense operations 1n4x1 - cyber intelligence 1nox1- all source intelligence 1N3X1 – Cryptologic Language Analyst 1C1X1 – Air Traffic Control AFSC
3.Can a potential lower score on asvab test hinder me getting a cyber job though I’m knowledgeable in the subject?
4.Would I be able to choose a base overseas or is it based on the job/ not my choice?
5.How does one move from one rank to another? Especially with these jobs listed.
6.If I don’t get a cyber job would I still be able to get cybersecurity certifications paid?
7.If I don’t get a cyber job, can I change at some point? If so how long would I have to wait to change?
8.Is tech school its own base or is it wherever im stationed at?

1. What’s something you wish you knew before going into the af? Especially if your path is similar with mine

Thanks for any and all responses

I (25 NB) met my friend (26 NB) at work, we have the same position at work and usually end up paired with each other. We get along great and have a lot of similar interests. I’ve given them rides home from work a lot cause we live near each other, and I thought we’d developed a strong friendship. They’ve worked at the company a little longer than I have, I’ve been working there since August. We’ve only been friends really since Januaryish when I got promoted.
Anyways they kept requesting we hang out together outside of work, I didn’t see this as odd because we’ve hung out together outside of work as a friend group, I have many friends at my job and we usually do group outings or parties, so it wasn’t odd to me that they wanted to hang out. The day they wanted to go out, none of my roommates were available to go with. 2 out of 3 of my roommates (25 M, 23 F and 25 M) work at the same business. So I went with them on my own, they seemed ecstatic that it was just the 2 of us. I picked them up and we initially just planned to go to the mall. We walked around, talked, bought stuff and eventually had lunch.
They kept staring at me which I found awkward but figured because we’re both autistic that I was uncomfortable with the eye contact or they just happen to make a lot of eye contact. They also keep walking really close to me and “accidentally” bumping my hand. After the mall they still wanted to hang out so we went to the thrift store and had a lot of fun making fun of the silly knick knacks, we both love Fallout New Vegas so they were looking for a jacket that looked like Benny Geckos from the game.
After that they still wanted to keep hanging out, at this point I was pretty tired but figured we were having fun. It’s hard for me to say no, and I use a cane for chronic pain so I usually need to take a frequent number of breaks which we hadn’t done yet but they hadn’t picked up that I was tired yet. I was having fun and at this point they did apologize about keeping me out for so long, I said it’s ok because I like long friendship hangout days, which is not a lie, my body just doesn’t enjoy it as much.
Next we went to get boba and they bought me a drink, at this point they had paid for none of my stuff, we split the food earlier and I lightheartedly threatened them to not spend money on me. When we were in the boba shop, they once again kept staring and moving their hand towards mine. I deterred this because it made me uncomfortable by talking with my hands which I usually do anyways. They were nice and listened to me infodump to them about tmnt (tmnts my special interest) but still continued their staring. I kept getting in my head that they were just being nice and I was ruining things thinking that they had ulterior motives.
I forgot to mention that they have a boyfriend (27 M), but they had offhandingly mentioned that they were poly. We then went to a gaming shop to look at dnd and pathfinder stuff, I had to pee incredibly badly at this point but they ignored my subtle pleas to leave, which understandably was my fault as I said I could hold it at the boba shop.
At this point I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain so I suggested we end our hang out after finding a bathroom. They still insisted on hanging out longer so I suggested they come to my apartment cause at this point I’d run out of stuff for us to do. This is where things got a bit uncomfy. My roommates were all home at this point but all left briefly to go pick up food. My roommate who I share a room with requested I don’t bring my friend into our room while she was in there, but gave me the go ahead to show them our room once she and my other roommates left to get their food.
I like showing my friends my collections whenever they come over so I saw no inappropriate reason to do the same. I have some Dnd, Fallout and Tmnt stuff I wanted to show them. I did my normal showing off my stuff thing. At some point I walked them over to my desk to show them my figurines, my desk is in a corner by my closet and bed so you can only go up to it from 1 side, I talked for a bit and noticed I was cornered. I have past trauma and hate being cornered, I kept making attempts to hint that I wanted to get out of the corner but they stayed firmly in place, even leaning with their hand on my desk to further block me in which I thought was strange.
Eventually I manage to slip by them by saying I wanted to show them my shelf on the opposite side of the room. The shelf is lower and next to my bed so I sit down to point things out. They then ask if they can sit down as well. I say yes and they proceed to sit down directly next to me, our thighs are touching firmly and they lean in on my bed with their arm behind me. I’m once again cornered and panicked now. I have a thing with my thighs where I HATE anyone touching them, it causes a violent reaction, my brain screams at me to bite, punch or claw anyone who touches them, I feel sick and absolutely enraged whenever it happens. I’ve been SAed in the past but even before that I had that reaction, my therapist says it might be a trauma response from childhood that I don’t remember.
I didn’t want to hurt them and luckily I have the violent outbursts completely under control so I just stiffened up and internalized the rage while trying to steady my breathing. They obviously know nothing about my trauma because we haven’t been friends for very long. So I continue talking about my 2003 rerelease tmnt figures and let them continue to touch me while trying not to cry.
Luckily my roommates return, and I immediately get up and leave my room to greet them. At this point I’m incredibly uncomfortable and wanted them out. But I felt bad if I suddenly kicked them out and I also was their ride. We decided to watch a movie in the living room, I sat in the couch corner and they decided to lay down on the rest of the couch while leaning up near me. One of my roommates picked up on the vibe and decided to join us for the movie, the other two sat at the table where you can still see the tv to eat their food since there was no room on the couch.
I decided to crochet during the movie to help ease my nerves. Every once in a while during the movie I could see them staring at me. Once the movie was over I offered to take them home. When I dropped them off they asked if they could hug me, I gave them a nervous sure, when they hugged me they put their nose into the crook of my neck which gave me the ick.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but I hate whenever I want a friend or just want to hang out with a friend and they turn it into something more without asking me! I’ve been notoriously “manic pixie dream girled” my entire life and I’m sick of it. If you want to go out with me just make your intentions known and ask me on a date! I wouldn’t have said yes but I think they knew that and felt the need to trick me instead.
I’m also incredibly turned off by the fact that their boyfriend just had surgery for appendicitis and is also about to have top surgery this week too and instead of caring for him they’re trying to get into my pants.
The whole situation feels icky and I’m so sad cause I thought I found a cool friend. They’re trying to get me to hang out with them again (even though their boyfriend is having top surgery) and I told them I have therapy and college dumpster diving on my days off this week and they’re trying to get me to work around those.
I just want some advice, am I in the wrong for feeling weird around them now or should I see how this plays out. I usually stick to dating women and other nonbinary people so they’re technically in the range of people I can potentially be attracted to but idk. I haven’t been interested in dating a lot lately cause I’ve been working through my trauma in therapy for the past year. My roommates also thought the whole situation was strange and uncomfortable. My roommate also asked if she had ever done anything like that to make me uncomfortable (she’s also amab like my friend), I reassured her she had never done that and that I feel very safe with her.

I believe im under serious spiritual attack I've been betrayed framed blamed falsely accused stolen from attacked hacked and anything u can think of ..but first ill explain a bit about me ..I'm 38 male and I live in Canada ..so looking back I can see that there was many times i was unjustly betrayed and always seemed to happen when I was vulnerable .for some reason I could only fall asleep late and suffered from sleep paralysis since I was little.. looking back this caused alot of problems with everything leading me to not do well in school but always felt like I don't understand I'm a good person I'm socially intelligent and can fix just about anything I always put myself last and remember spending alot of time being more excited about helping ppl get what they want and just overall assisting everyone but myself ..I don't know if this is relevant but moving on I would sometimes pray as a child and this I'll never forget while praying one night a crude immoral thought was almost pushed into my head ..it wasn't anything I was capable of thinking or understanding.it was vile to say the least and directed at someone who was the closest living being to an angel that a human could be ..now later in life I see it for what it was ..anywho fast forward things were normal or what I thought would be normal but as I got older the pressures of maturing and me not having the life skills/opportunitys I would lose jobs i would get fired for bullshit reasons or but mainly cause of my own choices but I came to a point where I found myself isolated and at that time no matter what I did there would be something or someone and I even said to myself ..I swear it's like there's an unseen force manipulating everything shutting every door on me it became more than coincidence and that went on for a year and it caused me to become sad about my situation and one day I was supposed to go to work but the guy never showed up when he volunteered to pick me up ..I needed to work cause I had nothing i had enough I started crying and openly ask God to help me from the deepest part of my heart ..this is where my whole understanding of the world changed ..I felt like I was becoming claustrophobic..and then I heard bells from the churnh down the street but it was so loud it was like the bells were in my room with me ..I felt I had to get up so I went down to the half set of stairs and did a circle in the living room ..and went back up to the room at the top of the stairs I stopped cause I felt something that I could only describe as being near radiation or something ..if uve ever taken a hot to the head that bright purple u see with brightwhitelight almost vibrating me with pins and needles behind me I didn't turn around its like I wasn't suppised to but in a knowing I felt a hand reach out and touch my sholder and i tecieved a msg and i knew who it was ..the msg was clear I may have even spoken it tto myself it said yours is a hard life but you will be ok or something to thst extent. i feel like another msg was inside that msg or that I had to pay special attention to the me part like as in it's I'm set apart or singled out that no one will help me it's my hard life and mine alone but ending the msg with I'll be ok I knew that this being is the final word and he knows exactly what will happen with me and confirmed I'll be ok through anything ...the fuzzy purple warm radiation seemed to back up and out back towards the stars the way he entered ..I was crying I've never cried like that before and I was a bit hysterical to be honest everything came back to normal. this experience changed my life I wrote it down in detail it was 4 pages that eventually went missing like every other document I had .. I pondered the whole day and he was guiding my thoughts through the night I came to a realization that I've had a have demonic interest in me since I was born ..and more importantly that almost everyone has entity's attached to them and also that most people can be forgiven and that I can be forgiven because it's not just us that are guiding our thoughts processes ..I forgave everyone I was shown /reminded of trespasses against me and that I could forgive all the things that stuck with me ..I later learned the things that stuck with me was like a base of operations if u will and instantly gone within a 24 hour period..now I had eyes to see ..but wasn't prepared for wat I saw in the next 48 hours I began hearing voices and they began flashing images of who they were when id close my eyes I'll describe them the best I can ..they were like children but had features of someone who aged like well into adult hood but body's of 10 year olds ..bizarre little evil things but had a way of engaging my attention and always casting doubt at the time all this started many strange things in the physical started happening as well ..ppl were attracted to me they were everywhere like the first day I went outside about 3 days after the initial experience I was just sitting parked in the back this dark skinned male just appears around the fence walks right up to the window and starts talking about what am I doing and he's just been walking all this guy looked frantic and eyes so wide just looking around totally paranoid and more than concerning he pulled out a bag of cocaine and offered me the bag I said no and told him to take care of himself ..and he left and I shortly after.. I stopped for gas on my way to 7 11 and at the gas station I'm just getting myself together to go in and pay and I hear a cpl screaming at the top of there lungs grabbing and slapping each other clawing and decided to walk up 3 ft away and continue this domestic dispute ..I get out of there as fast as I could I make it to 711 and there's a girl standing outside she's really dirty and has no shoes on I walk by her and she follows me in she's skinny with knobby knees like the ones that speak to me ..I look at her she looks at me that same look as the guy that aporoached me 20 minutes earlier frantic and disturbed..I felt bad for both these ppl as they looked like there in the middle of some sort of episode.. ...I knew my life would never be the same .. these things knew I could see them and they hated me for it .. the feed on negative emotion it's a theory of mine that they can show them selves to anyone but if they expose them selves they risk losing their food sources .ppl really would come to God and not sin if they knew the power these things have in this world ..they run this world they really do ..but anyways there's so much more and I believe my story can help someone ..this was 5 years ago I've had ppl break into my house attack me steal everything loved ones betray and hate me with lies totally out of character stuff my brother died because of this I shared everything with him and he actually took up drinking and became the most disrespectful person I've ever seen all within a few months of me sharing everything with him. he's the only one that believed me ..the enemy himself visited me one night of debate out of the 2500 I've experienced since..spoke to me in tongues that I understood I recall what he looks like...he spoke so fast and to be described in a few words ..frantic like he something just happened he couldn't believe and was so enraged fueled by a sense of loss ..surprised rage loss realization ..like if a gambler had his life savings on red and black but it lands on green ..if that makes sense ...so much and under 24 hr prosecution mentally and physically ..

I just feel like I’m going crazy and I need some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years.
I will try and give as much relevant background as possible so people can fairly weigh in.
I (23M) am a law school student, and I lost a decent amount of weight and muscle during finals season.
Today, my girlfriend (25F) showed me a topless picture of myself from when I had gained a lot of muscle from hitting the gym, and was sort of lamenting that she missed how I looked. It kind of stung, especially when she knows all I have been through with the stresses of finals and school.
As some background, I have always struggled to gain weight (started at about 145 at the beginning of our relationship. I am just over 6ft). My girlfriend continually voiced her wanting me to gain weight, and I continually failed to form a regular gym schedule for quite a while. This one is completely on me. But last year, I forced myself to eat WAY more and began exercising more regularly. By winter break, I got to 160 pounds and it was a big accomplishment for me.
Unfortunately, I basically lost 7-10 pounds during second semester law school finals (just finished thank God). For those who don’t know law school finals are no joke, and you really need to start working your ass off from about a month out at a minimum. I spent every hour I wasn’t at school or commuting at my desk studying and making outlines. Especially during the last few weeks, I began taking my ADHD medication almost every day. (This can also contribute to weight loss). She knows all of this. She also knows I’m working so hard to give us a better future.
For someone who is already skinny and has almost 0 body fat, 7-10 pounds is really noticeable - especially in my chest and arms.
When she lamented on my past figure, this honestly really stung since I’ve been really unhappy about it myself. Since I’m applying to law-related summer jobs basically every waking hour I’m not spending time doing activities with her, I still haven’t had the time to go to the gym.
When we walked the dog after dinner, she commented on my posture. It admittedly sucks I look like a less extreme version of the “golden ratio” or whatever. She has also been telling this t me for forever, but I just can’t get the good posture to stick. I think it’s fair that she’s really pissed about repeatedly telling me this for 3 years.
I jokingly asked why she’s being so mean today, and she asked for examples.
When I brought up the issue with the picture, I told her that “it made me feel not so good”. While I didn’t expect an apology, she refused to really even acknowledge why this would hurt my feelings, and instead brought up that she was mad to see me lose some progress. I told her to put herself in my shoes, and we continued to have this back and forth for about another 10 minutes or so until we got home. Finally, she said she was sorry - in what came across as a really half assed and not heartfelt apology.
When I mentioned that her apology didn’t mean much when she argued with me about it for 10 minutes, she got mad at me.
I tried to explain that all I wanted was for her to be a little more light-handed with her wanting me to gain weight, but that her “apologizing” so late and half-assed just made me hurt more. She wouldn’t even acknowledge that her apology was late.
I tried putting her in my shoes by saying what if she gained weight and I started lamenting over her past skinner version. She then got even more mad since she says I ask her to “put herself in my shoes” during every argument. I guess I do.
It took her 30 minutes of arguing for her to admit that her apology was late. She says that she was still mad about my posture and wasn’t thinking clearly or something along those lines.
To me - with both the apology and the argument about the apology - it feels like she was just refusing to admit any wrongdoing, even when I think she knew “what she did wrong” (from my perspective). I told her this, and she got even more mad at me.
Am I just being sensitive here? Was I just arguing about something dumb like she seems to think?
I just wanted to feel heard, and for her to acknowledge that she could have been nicer.
Please rip some sense into me if I’m just being dumb.

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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Employer in England. An employee (employed 3 years) is capable of doing their job but unwilling to do it fully and does enough to say the task is complete. They willingly say the job isn't for them and they don't want to do everything that's asked. Employee's notice period is 12 weeks, employer's is statutory notice period (both stated in the employment contract). A PIP is in place and this was done outside of the formal disciplinary process. My questions are: 1. Given the employee is unwilling to complete tasks to the expected level, would the employer have to finish the PIP and then go through the disciplinary process before the employee can be dismissed? 2. If the employee hands his notice in, does the employer have to honour the 12 week notice period or is there a way to shorten it to the statutory notice period of 3 weeks? Thank you

So, since I grew up the way in which I did, I wasn’t completely socialized. Compared to some kids in my class, I was very social, but I digress.
As I aged, I found myself being more of an observer than a participant. Participating didn’t always work out for me because when I tried, I always screwed something up. I didn’t get the jokes, I couldn’t tell who was being serious (that definitely would have helped me as a young kid and teenager). It wasn’t until I met my spouse that I learned dry humor, and how to recognize it.
Being in the position of an observer has afforded me a lot of room for thought. Like, there was the time in college where my roommates and I were hosting a party. This giant of college kid was mad at his girlfriend - he was drunk and screaming at her (I think some other dude said hi to her).
The man had her pinned up against a wall, one hand on the wall to the left of her head, the other punching the wall to the right of her head.
I was yelling at him to back off, and I was going to insert myself in between them because, as a kid, that’s what I had needed but no one did it for me.
It would have been stupid but the guy made me furious. My boyfriend pulled me away and held me and said, “Wait until he calms down and kick him from the party.” Hey, it was the 1990’s, and I was young. He was young. He ended up being right.
I thought about that girl a lot - wondered if she ever dumped her brute of a boyfriend, or did she stay with him? Never found out.
Decades later, I was put in an untenable position where a family member was about to up end their life over some woman - they were going to abandon their kids, their family, all of it.
I managed to get through that, but after all is said and done, and I look at the facts like they are playing cards laying on a green velvet-covered table, I saw how the woman brainwashed him.
1) she kept him from sleeping more than five hours a night;
2) she made up situations to where he was the only one who could solve it for her, such as she pretended like an old boyfriend was chasing her in a car and she needed my family member to keep her safe;
3) she isolated him from his kids;
4) she tried to get him to sign for her to get a new car, and she promised she’d pay for it but she couldn’t buy it unless he signed for it. (Fortunately, he didn’t).
5) she told him what to think. If he tried to think for himself, she wouldn’t leave him alone until he agreed with her. His family were the bad guys. He needed to see that.
5) finally, he was to replace his own kids with hers. He was expected to accept this new family in lieu of everyone he knew and used to love.
It’s a tall ask, you know. And yet, every year, you’ll hear or learn of someone who did go down that road and never came back. Or, they came back but there was no back to go back to.
My job, in dealing with this family member, was to pick up the pieces and deprogram them gently.
You think to yourself: “this wouldn’t happen to me because I’m way too smart. I make educated decisions.” But, near as I can tell, smart has nothing to do with it.
Brainwashing works on how open the subject is to modifying the way they think, and their need to be accepted in their new group. I guess it’s like training a dog: good stimulus equals a reward, bad behavior earns a punishment, either physical or mental (or both).
The subject must also think that their previous way of thinking was sub-par. They must have a low opinion of their intelligence.
Of course, a lot of you guys and gals may already know how it works, or heard about it on a documentary.
It’s different to have a front row seat to it, though. Really surreal.
Right now, I have a family member that I am not close to, he is being manipulated hard by his current girlfriend. I see all the signs of what she is doing, it ain’t my first rodeo.
I tell his daughter, “I will do what I can to help, but I can’t talk to him. He doesn’t like me. The only way he can be saved is you and your brother get together and see if you can get some physical distance to happen between this woman and your dad.”
So far - everything we’ve predicted has come true: she’s bled him dry, financially. He went from having a nest egg to selling off all his assets. He has signed on to buy property and vehicles with her. She made him lose his job.
What’s next? His daughter cares for him, but he wasn’t a model dad by a long shot.
So I don’t know what to do there.
And just recently, another family member washed up on my shores. This one is young.
The brainwashing in this case is mental and physical abuse.
In this case, I created a team of three people to work together to help this person see who they are really with.
My job is to create a safe zone for them. Another’s job is to be there and be the person all the secrets are told to. And the last person is supposed to be the persuader, the person who helps this family member stick to plans, to say what is expected without being pushy or negative, so that they don’t go back to the old life.
One of the people on the team said to me, “How are we all talking about this so calmly?” The subject of the conversation was sitting right there in the room. I said, “I know, it’s surreal. But this is how we have to do it. We are going to solve this.”
Delicately stepping, delicately stepping.
I think to myself, had I washed up on my mother’s shores with a problem like this, she would have kicked me back out and said, “Figure it out for yourself, I’m not going to help you. It’s your problem.”
I always knew I was on my own, and I can’t say I didn’t screw things up royally from time to time.
But, also, I know that had I had help, maybe things could have been better for me later. I’ll never know. I still don’t know the answer.
I choose to help. I choose to take my emotional side and shove it in the back, and then find out the chinks in the opponent’s armor.
He may have a lot going for him, but it is not my family member’s job to fix him, to make him a better person. He could be the most brilliant person in the world - but you can’t save some people from themselves. He is harmful, and nightmarish.
Battered person syndrome. It’s another form of brainwashing, where the woman/man doesn’t think they should leave, because there are all these good things about the partner that, if they could just change, would make them the perfect life partner.
I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter if it is drugs, or being beaten and having Stockholm Syndrome - it’s all a form of brainwashing.
I’m lucky enough to have a good team to work with me.
I was thinking today, as I was still coughing and getting over this horrible sickness I’ve had for three weeks: I’m tired. I don’t want to deal with nonsense but I will because that’s what family does.
We are blessed, no matter what. I’m feeling lucky. I’m glad I’m here for it.
I know my mom would have handled it differently (she had to go through it herself). But, I don’t think life should be so fucking hard. If we work together we can do a job better. No one should have to go through these things alone.
You lift up the next generation so they can climb the mountain a little more. I just want people to get further than I did.

Sorry about the long post but i really needed to share So I own a drone company that specializes in agriculture spraying. We spray herbicides, pesticides, etc. I only have one other guy with me and me and him were on a job. In comes boomer neighbor of farmer asking what are we doing on the property. I say we are spraying crops and hand him my business card. He tosses it to the ground( fuck you those were expensive) and condescendingly asks me " Are you the owner?" Already annoyed but ready to take off I say " yes and we would like to get started" He looks over to my employee and asks him " How much is he paying you, it can't be much." "30 an hour" he replies and this dude has a freakin meltdown in the middle of a field. He goes off saying "I don't even get that much and I work 10 times harder than both of you. All your doing is flying a drone, how hard can that be?" I point out it's got about 8 gallons of pesticide and it can be dangerous if it comes into contact. Couple that with requesting airspace clearance and drawing up a flight route it is actually hard work. Thankfully my client came out and the boomer walked off. Apparently this guy has been a pain in everyone's ass because he caused several property and animal ownership disputes around the community. Like I'm not sorry for charging that much nor am I sorry about integrating new tech for farmers using ancient methods.

In one hand a person will gain proficiency, abilities and skills within their chosen vocations/occupation as they grow in levels and develop job classes related to their profession which would help them advance compared to everyone else
But
In the other hand depending on ones level cap a person would be unable to pursue or advance in other fields without contaminating their builds resulting in mediocrity. Furthermore, If one doesn't have a certain job class that person would be unable to do a specific task. example, a retired soldier who reached his limit and posses no farmer levels would naturally suck at farming no matter how many times they try

female- 17 and my ex, male 17 were together for a year and were serious about our relationship. He only has his sister in her family and no one to look after him. His sister, female-21 has always had an issue with me. When he introduced me to her as girlfriend she seemed happy at first but things started to change she started picking up fight for no reason and once she held my hands so tightly that it cut my skin and he being obsessed with his sister always said that she is my everything and all. I was okay with it cause he has only her and his sister literally once said that if only she ( referring to me) was a little bit pretty I would have loved to be with her as friend I thought my boyfriend wouldn't agree with it and take my side because I am actually pretty as much as I know I have been the type of girl who was and is famous in school with boys telling me how pretty I was. And I still couldn't understand her problem with me nonetheless. Instead of defending me my bf told her sis that we could get her nose job I felt so offended like wdym but I didn't react and this continued for his finals he got less marks and this woman his sister basically blamed me for his marks and his future she was tormenting me literally but I lost it when she said that with that reputation of your family I would never allow you with my brother. His brother listening to everything just said that please understand my sister okay I was like wth this is too much and not to flex or something my family is rich and freaking reputated in the society more than their and when she tried to call out for my caste I had the upper hand she was telling how she is a Bc caste i couldn't handle it anymore and told my boyfriend I'm a freaking Oc caste and what the hell is she tryna say and it's over I can't handle this at all. And he also agreed to break up I was trying to move on and made friends again because he didn't like any of my friends literally not even a single one so I had to leave all of them and I had no one but now I could have how many friends I want so I was happy but this guy is back again and says that we should start dating again when I asked him about his sister he said she is not here currently so it's okay if we date I was like wth no wayy I'm getting back with you again. But he keeps persuading me what should I do?

I am in serious need of guidance on a post breakup dating issue. A serious boyfriend (30) (Hank) and I (32) were together for 2 1/12 years and lived together for 1. We broke up in almost a year ago semi-amicably but stopped speaking 5 months ago.
Cut to now, I matched with a former co-worker of his on Hinge (Ben). Hank was “laid off” from that job in May 2023. However, they worked on the same team, interacted frequently while they worked together, and follow each other on Instagram but they do not have contact after Hank left that job (to my knowledge). My ex never liked Ben and would talk shit about him to me during our relationship so I was aware of their relation to one another.
Do I mention this to Ben at all or not? We have plans to get drinks later this week and I am conflicted. Hank is my ex and irrelevant to either of us since they no longer work together and haven’t for some time. On the other hand, it feels weird not mentioning it because I am allowing this guy to talk about himself and his job, some of which I already know via my ex. I had been playing dumb but he has since said where he works and the team/type of work he is in within the company (small team)...not to mention I have his first and last name and he is easily google-able.
I don’t want to come across as a crazy ex that is dating my ex-boyfriend’s former associates but I also don’t know that I owe him anything. I also want to give Ben a chance to bail if he thinks it’s strange. Keep in mind, when Hank and I were dating, I had gone to a few intimate dinner parties with partners and associates of the team but Ben was never there.
When is an appropriate time to bring this up?
P.S. (Read for additional background if interested + additional question:
Should I even pursue this at all? The chance of my ex and I getting back together is just about 0% but I low key still love him and in my delusional mind if I managed to really get my shit together maybe some fay we could...and I think that this would be something Hank (my ex) would find messed up as he feels as though Ben took his job from him (however unwarranted). I can't be certain but I think he may have even said it would bother him if we were to even break up and I were to start dating Ben. That being said, I know that they sexted while we were together (we had an open relationship but still). Additionally, I don't know where my ex and I even stand. I am assuming it isn't on good terms because he blocked my number (presumably because I called him a couple times post 3AM when I was drunk/high but I was messed up in the throws of a break up and that's typical toxic bs). I'm taking it to mean he is so over me and doesn't want to deal at all, thinks I am a mess, and couldn't care less. So more power to me? Part of me thinks, and hopes that he blocked me because he knew it was over and had to just make a clean break (I had heard he was having a bit if a life crisis shortly after our break up...not just bc of me but not nott bc of me)....I say this because for a few months after our break up we would text. Just about this and that. Nothing necessarily of substance but just little things. Also, right before he blocked me he had messaged me pictures of our old apartment and said "do you miss it?"...I think he was trying to reminisce but I'm not sure because I didn't respond, didn't plan to, and then called him drunk at 3AM. He didn't answer but then the next day when I texted him to apolgize for calling late (because I knew he hated that) he had blocked me and I found out he dropped off my childhood decorations at my brother's house rather than at mine.
Soooo it's over. I just can't help but hesitate because he did mean a lot to me and frankly he had some legit reasons for the break up. Not that I was cheating or anything but I was using drugs behind his back, which he was unaware of exactly but the affects of my behavior had repercussions (i.e. not wanting to have sex, being lazy, not being a proactive partner, not working out, etc.)....It's hard to say but I took it for granted..He was not saint either to be honest. He pushed for an open relationship that I didn't want but agreed because I was in love with him and I loved our connection.
Ok, I'm sorry. I got off topic. The question is - do I mention to this new guy that I used to date his former coworker? When do I bring it up, if at all? I had planned on playing dumb but feel as though I no longer can because it's been made crystal clear that they worked at the same company, at the same time, in the same group.

My(15F) mom(48F) and I were attached at the hip since I’ve been younger. Mostly because she raised me by herself since my dad(75M) didn’t live with us. He wasn’t around much in my younger years, only really present when my grandfather died. My mom has mental illness, along with her own mommy issues. She never really got the chance to address them though, since my grandmother died before I was born. Onto the issues. I just recently moved to live with my dad because things with my mom had gotten really bad. Naturally I started remembering things. Like how she left me in my car seat as an incompetent 4/5 year old in the winter because I was “too much.” She also forbade my grandfather and I from speaking in the last years of his life, even though we lived in the same house. The worst of it though came with the panic attacks. I began bottling up my emotions because she only responded with anger or guilt-tripping (not a good idea) and the first one I had, I was backed into a corner because she wouldn’t stop approaching me, then she held me down on my bed and put her hand over my mouth when I started screaming. Instead of apologizing, she told me I was possessed by the devil. Who knew. I was 11 when that happened, and she still doesn’t see the problem with what she did. She has also said I’m not her daughter anymore, and that it was my “responsibility” that I tried to kill myself (something about life insurance which I don’t have) but I ran away a couple times and she only brought up calling the police when I came back “I was about to call I was so worried.” After both of my attempts, she would just call me dramatic, and never told my dad. She also called me manipulative whenever I did tell my dad anything that happened between us. Saying I wouldn’t have him to complain to much longer (implying because he’s older I won’t have as many years) a fact which she has seen me break down about. Not only all of this but small comments too. Watching sword af (Smosh dnd) “you like this stuff?” Wearing a crop top with no jacket “you look like a slut.” Anytime I try to set a boundary “you’re so ungrateful and spoiled.” I was telling her not to call my friend ghetto because she shouldn’t and she says slurs. Honestly I don’t know how much else I can write, so maybe I’ll update, but I needed to get it off my chest because Mother’s Day was very hard, but I still made an effort, calling her (she didn’t return my call, only “I appreciate the thought” and sent her Mother’s Day deals for food “I’m not going there.” But I don’t know if it was the healthiest thing for me to do. I’m at a loss

Tw: family death and emotional abuse/neglect
I hate venting online as it’s futile and embarrassing for me (no one has to feel this way. This is just my own personal view that is mine and only mine) So, I will probably delete this soon for I also hate showing weakness to strangers since it always leads to more abuse it seems and i am often weary of others. So, with this, I’ll try and open up even if it’s temporary.

A bit of backstory I guess. My mother died when I was 7 which left behind a hole that needed to be filled for dad and I. She, the step “mom”, came along to help us for she struggled with a divorce of an abusive ex husband. She had issues, as you would expect, yet here I thought of her as someone I could get along with, to play with, to be around when things got bad, and all the things a little kid would think. At first, everything was fine, I even had silly nicknames for her that she “enjoyed” she responded with kindness to these (one was care bear, another was pumpkin because it was fall and she liked the smell, the others I don’t remember) and I remember how happy I was when she liked the little nicknames. Since it was the beginning, I would want her over often as I wanted someone to become a person I could look for as a mom but not as a replacement to my actual mom who recently died during that time. I liked her. 

Alas these things don’t get a happy ending, as with time, dad got more ill. During this time she would be by his side more (which is totally understandable, I would too for my lover I didn’t show jealousy during this time but support as I got to spend more time with my “sister”) and it slowly evolved to hospital visits. I would slowly pick up being a “parent” for her disabled daughter when I was 9/10/11 (can’t remember exact age, sorry). This was because she would go out with dad to spend time with him, go to the other room to isolate from us (either needing alone time or to help him. Not my business), be with him for hospital stays, etc. I was used to this since I was accustomed to helping my dad with his medical issues and helped him get ready for “life” by the time I was late 7/early 8 due to his own health failing as well.
Hop years later. After problem and after problem I had gotten in with her and vice versa I realize my step mother never genuinely cared about me. I know it takes two to tango and it’s partly my fault, I get where I fell in my faults and I’ve accepted them as my lessons in day to day life. I’m not perfect. As I became more reclusive to her as she showed a lack of accountability (and to this day, she won’t admit and see why it was so wrong for her to do things that were heavily against me) I was then always the scapegoat as she showed love and gushed over her actual kids (this was always a issue, I just didn’t think about it as a little kid and I got “bratty” when I got older as i began to recognize the “unfairness”). My achievements were worthless and often met with a “you should’ve already been good at that”, “you should know better by now”, or “that should already have been done if it was something important to you”. The typical “you aren’t good enough” wearing different clothes.
The feelings of being useless had already creeped in by the time I was 10/11 so this was going on for a long time (along with many other issues that I’m not gonna get into). Even as I got nearly straight A’s in college I was never praised except by dad (who unfortunately died when I was early 19. I miss him to this day). I know I should not have sought out praise, especially if I was grown, but I would’ve loved a “good job” from her… I know that’s silly but it would’ve been nice to be seen as her actual kid worthy of love and being seen that way just a little. I know my pesky teen years didn’t help but I was still her kid in some capacity but I was treated like a punching bag. All because she had her own jealousy and hate for me. (Even her own kids called her out on how she treated me, nothing changed from her.)
Now with no family left except a few aunts, she tried everything she can to ensure I don’t become independent (I don’t wanna talk too much about it, I’m too tired plus this post is getting rather long as it is).
The parts that hurt the most were: She refused my safety from my childhood to adulthood. She never cared what truly happened to me it seems.
Never really paid attention to me unless to berate me which was done usually in the form of gossiping to others. Plus attempting to embarrass me in front of others so when my teenage self got upset she can use my reaction as “proof” and to “justify” herself, sometimes trying to attempt it to adult me as she smiled and snickered about it. Thankfully most adults who were older took pity and even commented on how arrogant and awful she seemed as a person (adult me, they never did anything about teenage me which I get, I fell for her tricks that made me look bad. Happy I learned that lesson young, at least there is that).
She snooped around my room and life to gossip to her kids about me on how much of a failure I was and how disgusting of a person I am. Then got mad when I isolated or kept my life very secretive.
She would find issues with me just to try to make my dad hate me which thankfully it failed. I’m unsure if this was a attempt to further isolate me because I wasn’t a part of her “actual kids”. I don’t know and I’m too tired to know, it’s done and over with I can vent about that in therapy. However she sadly was successful in getting him to yell at me. The worst part of the yelling is that she would watch me cry or go to the other room to listen rather than just leaving me alone. I now realize it was a way for her to “get off” I believe.
When she realized she couldn’t control my life she tried hiding food from me as I was early 20’s because she had “control issues with me” (her words not mine). I didn’t like things going to waste so I’d eat nearly expired foods often and she would get pissy that I was “stealing from her”.
She gossiped to strangers about how I never do anything with myself and suspected I was just a useless failure. (I was in college with a job, thanks.)
When I did finally snap from the times she would treat me poorly she held on to it. I guess to put it, think of me over reacting I get I did wrong and I learned my lesson but when she snapped with a over reaction or something really hurtful she expected to be forgiven.
She also would steal from me and blame me (but would expect me to keep my hands to myself when I was hungry and didn’t have the time or funds to get food… this one still bothers me but I will talk in detail of this to my therapist not here as I’m tired and the post is already long enough).
All I wanted was a mom to care but I guess I couldn’t get that because the one I got died when I barely got to know her. There is more to say but I think that is all of us here, too much to say about someone who was supposed to love us. My apologies if my post is in shambles I never really let anything out like this so I’m sure I kinda sound “childish” but like- I really hate Mother’s Day and I just wanted to let it out, even if I delete this later.

It would be great if you from Canada or usa but I’m open to take chance on love
Journey to Finding Love
Hey there, fellow forever aloners! I'm a 26-year-old guy, and I'm here to share my story and hopefully connect with someone special.
About Me I consider myself an emotionally stable, caring, and loving guy. I've got a lot to offer in a relationship - I'm a great listener, always there for my partner, and I truly believe in the power of love and companionship.
What I'm Looking For I'm searching for a woman who shares my values and is ready to embark on a meaningful, long-term relationship. I'm not just looking for a casual fling; I want to find someone I can build a future with.
My Interests and Hobbies In my free time, you can find me exploring the great outdoors, hiking through the beautiful landscapes or trying my hand at photography. I also enjoy cozy nights in, curled up with a good book or binge-watching the latest Netflix series.
What I Can Offer I'm a loyal and supportive partner who will always be there for you, no matter what. I'm also financially stable and have a good job that allows me to provide for a partner. I'm passionate about personal growth and self-improvement, and I'm always striving to be the best version of myself.
Why You Should Consider Me If you're looking for a caring, emotionally mature, and reliable partner, I might just be the one for you. I'm ready to commit, to support you, and to build a life together. Let's connect and see where this journey takes us!
So, if you're a fellow forever aloner looking for love, feel free to reach out. I'm excited to meet you and see where this could go.

Iron warriors and mortal serfs lug building materials to and fro. All directed by the countess of iron herself Petra-bo. Her cold gaze scrutinizes every detail of the building. An Iron warrior had accidentally screwed up the layout of the tower.
Petra: No! No! No! You lumbering oaf, that’s not how it’s supposed to look!
Petra raised her fist to the Iron Warrior who braced in expectation of being decimated. But when he looked his Primarch had turned her back to him, fists still clenched.
Petra: Do it over and this time do it right.
Iron Warrior 1: Yes mother!
Petra takes a deep breath, her trinket would be proud of her restraint. During the Great Crusade she was made to wade through the mud. To take on the jobs no one else would, it was her trinket that got her through the worst of it. Now it was over, she had been rewarded with building the rest of Terra though she would rather have been picked to build the palace instead of Regalia. None of that mattered now, her “father” got what he wanted. Her sisters returned to their planets. And now she can enjoy her projects in peace. She sat under an Olive tree on a nearby hill and continued to oversee the construction in the shade. She heard a set of foot steps behind her, a hurried cadence of a human. They weren’t rushing it was their natural stride, she knew who it was.
Petra: If you’re going to sneak up to me then take notes from Corax’s sons. Your footsteps are loud and your stride is too recognizable.
Trinket: You’re no fun Bo.
Petra: it’s not my fault you’d make a lousy guerrilla fighter.
Little Trinket sits next to her, before she would protest against her nickname fiercely. Now she simply resigns with a huff knowing he’ll always call her that.
Trinket: How goes the construction
Petra: Hrrm.
Trinket: come now it can’t be that bad.
Petra:… It’s serviceable at best, the tower was constructed in the wrong spot with different materials than what I specified. Whoever heard of a Diorite Tower.
Little trinket entwined his fingers with hers, it was calming for the most part.
Trinket: My lady, our sons meant well and-
Petra: I get it. I just want this place to be perfect.
Trinket: It will be perfect, you designed it after all.
Petra’s cheeks grew red.
Petra: Then I suppose I shall step back for now.
As the sun of Olympia grew dim, it was finished. It was as she always dreamt it, a beautiful home with the necessary amount of rooms and a tower for herself. Built in a fortifiable location with a beautiful view of the mountains facing the tower.
Petra: I can’t believe this… it’s over…
A strange feeling over came Petra. Contentment.
Trinket: It is.
Trinket kissed Petra’s hand. They passed the threshold together.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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[CA] I currently work for a large retail company as a HR Supervisor and have been here for 4 years. The pay isn't great, but my job isn't too difficult and work with a good group of people. A few months ago, an opening for HR Manager came up in my district. I wasn't even considered so I fixed up my resume and starting looking elsewhere. After some time a smaller company with maybe about <5000 employees informed me that they are preparing an offer for me for a HR employee specialist position (85k-100k).
I was dead set on leaving until today my manager called me and told me that they will be promoting me to Store Manager. Which is obviously not what I wanted to do but they have told me this is just a stepping stone and I need to make my bones before I dive into a higher HR role. It is somewhat true since most of the HR managers in my district have had a starting role in service before making there way into HR. The pay range for this promotion would also be (80k-100k) but I know they will probably offer the minimum.
Part of me thinks I should leave since I do want to further my HR career and truly have no passion for working in retail as a service manager. I love my role as a HR Partner but getting yelled at by customers over a 2 dollar coupon is not my dream job. Although I do worry about the growth at the other company. I would answer to a HR Director who answers to the only HR Executive. I don't really see much room to grow since all the higher leadership have been in their roles for 5 years+.
On the other hand the same could be said about my current company. I have seen many success stories and have also seen a lot of people stuck in their roles for years. There is also no guarantee that the next HR Manager role would be mine if I do jump into Service, but people do come and go from positions all the time in retail.
The Employee specialist position does seem to have a better work life balance. Your typical M-F 8-5 no weekends and its hybrid.
The Service Manager is a varied scheduled with rotating weekends.
Assuming both offers are the same pay...Which would you take?

hi there! long one, but please give me a hand 😔
I'm going through a situation and I wanted to hear some thoughts outside my friendship's circle.
I'm going out with a guy for 2 months, we met on an app and I was 2 years without going out with anyone before him (I think it's relevant). By the first dates I thought we were too different, and thought it probably wouldn't work out bc of that, but it was kinda fun and I never really had this sort of casual dating before, so I thought I should try, further he was very loving so it weighted on my decision of giving a shot.
But since I'm not the most casual person, I ended up getting involved even though I always had some doubts bc of our differences.
Anyway, exactly one month ago, I had to be on the hospital for a couple of days and he went to spend the night there with me, which made me go more into him, cause I thought it was quite nice of him.
After I went out, we started seeing each other even more than we were before. We were seeing each other twice a week, and after the hospital I basically started spending 4 or 5 days a week with him.
two weeks ago we had an argument, towards some stupid things. But he ended being very rude to me in the end of the discussion. Told me to f*ck off, compared me to his ex which he critiques all the time and etcetera. I decided to leave his place when it happened and he started to apologize a lot, and asked me to come back after my work for us to talk, but when I came back he kinda acted like it was already solved and I didn't want to have the headache of going through that again so I left that be.
When we were together, we would split anything we buy on the groceries, cause mostly we were eating at his place.
So last week, I was arriving at my job and texted him to see if he was going to the groceries, cause I would send him some money if he was.
He told me to send, I said the things I wanted myself and told him to get something for us to eat.
When I left my work, he said he didn't make it cause he was still working (he's a tattooist), so I went there myself. I saw that the eating things we would get were too expensive, so I decided to just get some soda and some snacks both of us like, so I would ask food when I get his house.
When I arrived there, his friends were still there (he was tattooing one of them), so I thought it wouldn't be polite to ask him what he wanted to eat there in front of everyone, cause it would look like me wanting them to leave. He was the whole day without eating, so I asked the same thing we had the day before, cause I knew it was cheap, good and quick.
When the food arrived, I put it for both of us (his friends had already left) and asked which plate did he want. He said none, cause he still didn't want to eat.
He transfered me back the money I sent him earlier and I told him: "you know you still have to send me some money right?" he asked why and I said, "this money you sent was the one I gave to you earlier, for us to split the groceries. There's still your part of the groceries and of the food". I didn't say it rudely or anything, but he got mad cause I said that. He said that I didn't ask if he wanted to eat that, and when I said it was ok then, that he could split only the coke since he didn't want to eat that food, he kept saying a lot of things, things such as "you're not my daughter for me to pay for you" and that sometimes it looks for him that I want to take advantage of things, and stuff like that.
Just for the record, the amount he had to send me was the equivalent of less than 3 dollars.
Anyway, we started arguing, bc of that, cause he wouldn't stop saying that I shouldn't have asked for food without asking him first - even though I said it was ok, that he didn't have to split, that I thought he wanted and that's why I said for us to split - and at some point I lost my patience and answered him that he could try different on his next relationship (when he saw I wasn't answering him anymore and said to me that he was going to communicate more about the things he doesn't like, so things like that wouldn't happen)
it was still 2:am when it happened, so I decided I would wait the day after to leave. After that he had another small situation, in which he said some really mean things about me, and I didn't control myself, and started crying in front of him. After that I went to the couch and he followed me, to apologize again, like it happened on the other week. I told him I didn't want to be around him, so he left, but came back again to try another time apologizing, to each I said: "I don't wanna talk to you, I wanna wait for tomorrow, leave and end up things between us". And as he kept saying he was sorry, I told him it was coward of him to apologize, cause after being really mean to me he was doing it to feel better but it would make it worse for me to leave, cause I had already said to him that I wanted to keep that bad image of him so it would be easier for me to disattache. He said it wasn't to feel good, it was because he liked me and wanted us to stay together. He kept pushing to make me laugh and I'm not a resentful person, so once I give in, I don't get mad back...
We went back to his room, slept and the next day he mentioned the fact that I cried in a slightly perjorative way. Because of that, I decided to take my things with me when I was going to work, in case I decided it was better not to come back.
When he saw it, he got a bit mad (not arguing mad) but he said that he could send me my things so I didn't have to go with a heavy weight for work. As I was saying goodbye, I said "if I decide to not come I tell you then", to each he said that maybe he wouldn't want me to come.
Anyway
After that, I decided to stay home (it happened thursday to friday), and we talked a little by text on saturday.
Saturday and sunday were stressful and unproductive, cause we couldn't keep a normal conversation, he kept saying that I had to say that I was wrong (bc of the food I asked and because he said I manipulated things so I wouldn't admit I was wrong of asking the food).
Today, I said I was sorry because of the stress we spent with this unproductive conversations, and said that even though, it was offensive of him to keep calling me manipulative and stuff like that.
To which he said that he I should have said I was sorry three days earlier, so we wouldn't have this headache, and said that we should get back seeing each other only on the weekends.
Anyway, I don't know if he said that because he wants to get away and wanna do this slowly in order of "not hurting me". I'm quite confuse about wether I should or shouldn't stay with him, but I'm attached to him already. After these messages I mentioned, the last ones, he was kinda cold to me, and I can't help to feel a lil bit sad about it, even though he acted the way he did at his place. Also, I don't know if he indeed were sort of abusive... I my friends say he was, but friends always wants to protect us, so I don't know if their judgement are the best ones...

Valhelsia 3 mod pack for 1.20 Is the topic of this post and my opinion in the matter. It leaves me feeling disappointed. So disappointed in fact that I no longer bother with anyone else's mod packs. It feels like I'm playing vanilla Minecraft for the first time. Exploration is encouraged, new, and spectacular. Crafting hits a whole new level with the engineering mods included. EVERTHING can be automated! The furniture that Valhelsia structures adds is a special something I wish I had back in 1.9 . I love how magic is total separate yet automatable with the logic mods. This tailored experience is beautiful, interesting, engaging.
TLDR: Great job, please never quit.
P.S The only thing i miss that didn't get brought into the future, was Thaumcraft. (Not to any fault of Valhelsia team for the unfamiliar ) Hands down the best magic mod every implemented right in front of botania. Would you please dig it out of its grave, or find out if someone is? You're inner circle in the mod community and if no ones going to revive and finish that wonderful bit of code, I'll do it myself. Just need to know its worth it.

The memories of us are fading into the obscurity of the sea that is a thousand memories or more of nothing but heartbreak, abandonment, the things I've done, the things I've failed to do, the things that I've allowed others to do to me. Just a smattering of experiences that have fractured me into the mess that lacked identity to such a degree, he could only take it from his job, from what little bit I felt was even worthy of providing to you (in the sense that nothing I ever did would be good enough, you always made it abundantly clear you had your foot out the door, just not always your words,) down to the things buried deep from childhood I tell no one. No one except you, and my mother, who you're so alike in so many ways despite being a different race, from a different state, with a different background, higher education; despite it all, you two are so alike. Other than you, she's easily caused me the most pain out of anyone in my life.
Just like her, you refuse to see what consequences your actions render until you think someone is on the verge of abandoning you. Even then, it's backhanded apologies, excessive self-flagellation, emotional extortion to where the other person is always the problem. I got in a fight with her today. Felt like I was fighting with you. Enough for me to say I regretted ever being born out loud on the phone to her; she blamed this "change" (me not allowing her to emotionally extort me) on you. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with her, yet, all I can see are those curls, those freckles, those brown eyes turned shark black, seeking vengeance and recompense for the crime of anyone ever daring to attempt to hold you accountable for your actions.
My life is objectively better without you in it, yet still, some flashes linger here and there. When I'm out of town, or when I go on vacation, it isn't so bad. When I'm in our city, it creeps its way back in like some kind of parasitic worm, eating at the recesses of my mind and my world until I can no longer resist and find myself saying what I'd say to you if you ever try to come back when I'm by myself. How I'd be so strong, tell you so easily to go away, how I'd rage, how I'd scream about how you've tried to slander me in our mutual community of clients and colleagues, how you bombarded my phone with calls, endless emails, texts, how you Cash Apped me a dollar to talk to you, how you threatened me with frivolous and baseless legal action, how you've falsely accused me of horrific things to the point I've had to consider lawyering up far more seriously than I ever have. You even tried to draw mom into it, but you failed to account for one thing: master manipulators recognize their own kind.
After this fight with Mom, I blocked her. She called me from her husband's number and started yet again another fight, deflecting any responsibility from anything she's done, expecting me and my brothers to simply act as though years of neglect and abandonment at her hands doesn't bother us at all. She's employed virtually all the same strategies minus the emails and slandelegal threats to bring me into her sphere again. She got me to relent and blame everything on myself, like I said earlier, to the point I expressed regretting ever being born. Calling myself a horrible son. Blaming myself for burdening her with my existence. Believing it, what's more. Had my friend not been there to talk to me afterwards, I likely would've ran with it. But after she brought you up and I reflected on how she acted, you've been pulled to the forefront yet again, but without the sting that's usually attached to that face concealing the all-consuming spirit of self-worship that encompasses your entire sense of self. I realized that if it hadn't been for the hellish life she had unleashed on all her children, with my father at least partially helping in that effort on my end, I never would've been prepared to endure someone like you and be able to see things as clearly as they are and for what they are when it comes to your involvement in my life. I'm hoping I retain the lessons I've learned from this with you and that the memories of you, and of us, fade into the eternal blackness of so many other undoubtedly suppressed memories. I pray one day I'll find someone that's nothing like either of you, but above all, I pray I'll be alright enough for if that day ever comes. For now, I'm going to figure out who I am. I'm building the foundations of my identity, and once that's done, I can work on everything else. Love of the romantic variety seems far too taxing, risky and dangerous to ever actively pursue again.