The blatant misogyny in this sub is hilarious. Yes there are some(mainly white) women who looks at gay men as an accessory but MAJORITY of the women are wanting to befriend a Gay Guy because they feel safe around us, y'all need to stop this whole "Oh but she's only befriending me because I am gay" NO, not every woman is like that, majority of them are just looking for a guy friend that doesn't want to get in their pants. Also Stop calling woman a bitch, it sounds good as a joke but not as a slur which is how a lot of Gay men refer to women they don't like

I mean she was a neglectful meth head, but when my grandfather let me see her behind my grandmothers' back she seemed to really want to foster a relationship with me.
I was already very eclectic but she introduced me to so many concepts and art and seemed to be supportive of me being openly queer in my teens.
We used to watch scary movies and go to metal shows together, dumpster diving, etc. She really should've never had a kid. She's a big kid herself and I'm not mad about that. She's always cared about animals more than herself too, often having dozens of dogs at a time that she'd find homes for.
In 2019 I let her move in with me when I still had my old home because my aunt committed probate fraud against the both of us and made her homeless. I took her and 15 dogs in because my aunt was driving back and forth past my house trying to intimidate me and I was terrified to be home alone.
My mom wasn't perfect but at least she wasn't like her mother, the conservative nut who raised me...or so I thought.
Lockdown happens and she lost it. She was already up all the time but I'd constantly hear her in these chat rooms with these weird ass men and what made it cringy was how much of a pick-me she was with them.
One time she invited one of her qanon friends over so they could roast me because I don't believe the earth is flat. She literally laughed at me and said ________ has always been ...impressionable hahaha.
She began talking shit about Trans people and started thinking everyone is actually a man. It wasn't long until she was vocal about her disdain for me being gay too. She was never so hateful before, and by her own logic she's probably a man too. She's definitely got the arms of a navy seal and the jawline of someone participating in the fellatio Olympics.
She began inviting all these other awful people to my house, and her meth dealer boyfriend who carried a cross for two years in our town. Even he gets sick of her rants on nasa, vaccines, and transwomen even though he partially agrees her.
I haven't seen her or sent a picture since before my 30th birthday. I'm 31 now and it's because everytime she calls its because she needs to borrow my ID or social security for some bs reason. She ruined my credit and it's taken me years to fix it.
I didn't bother to bring up top surgery to her because I didn't want to hear her vitriol or bronze age mythology references stating that jahovah had a "special role" for me as a "helper" to some scrote. She's already larping like that with breaking bad over there.
Not to mention She's been on the vaccines cause autism train for years, despite the fact that her brother and mother are both on the spectrum and there's a high possibility she is too. I have audhd, the adhd part most likely being from her smoking meth during pregnancy.
I think her homophobia towards me stems from her wanting to be a grandmother but best I can do is four legged cuties.
But on a lighter note I've figured out what I want to send her as a Christmas card:
Me, with my top surgery scars, holding my cat like a baby, by a 5g tower, a NASA hat and a vest that says AUTISM RULES, while I sodomize my equally genderfluid lover while they hold up our vaccine cards.
Whatcha think

Going through the threads I see this question come up a lot, so I'm hesitant to ask but I feel like my situation is a bit different.
Tldr What can I do to figure out if I'm actually trans?
33 year old amab. And I have a lot of the very masculine markers (I'm 6 foot 8, grow a full beard in 2 days, hair freaking everywhere, that sort of thing). Thing is I've never felt pride in them. Even when I work hard to make myself look good (and I know I can, I used to be a shirtless bartender) I've never really felt joy in it for itself (the attention for sure but still)
I realized about 7 years ago I'm bi, and honestly really only accepted it a year or so ago (was in a committed het relationship so...) and about 6 months ago I realized I might be genderfluid at least. So I'm not exactly fast at making these decisions or processing these thoughts.
But lately I've realized that every character I create to project myself onto has been femme. All of my mmos, fallout, etc. I got a pair of pants that actually fit me from value village the other day. Most comfortable pair of pants I own. They are women's pants. Honestly for most of my life I've lamented at how boring men's fashion is in comparison to women's. Regularly online people think I'm a woman and I stopped correcting them because what's the point (even had a few refuse to believe me until we got into voice). Hell my raid group is made up mostly of gay women, and they made the joke that the only reason I'm allowed in is because I'm actually a lesbian.
Then I found put the insurance I get through my job covers a lot of gender affirming care. Like at the least top and bottom surgery. Now I'm going to look into what that means tomorrow, because even if I don't use it I have more than a handful of trans friends who would like to know options I think, and I regularly have students come out to me and share their troubles.
But, I can't deny the weird emotion I am feeling finding out it could be possible. And I'm trying to process it in a constructive way.
Thing is, I know I'm depressed as hell. I know that I want something to point to and say "If this was fixed I could be happy" and I really want that to be true.
But also, as mentioned above, I've got so much, like two surgeries, tracheal shave, voice altering, face feminization, that's so much. It would take years, I'm already 34, and honestly my insurance isn't so stable that I can count on it. I haven't talked to anyone about this yet in person, because my closest friends have been (pretty obnoxiously actually) making hints that I am, but both of them are, and they have a tendency to project. I don't even know what I would say to my doctor or therapist at this point in the process, and honestly the only reason I'm here is because I'm teaching a bunch of 14 year olds math in about 7 hours and I can't get to sleep since I'm thinking about this.
So at this point asking for advice. In summary, what exercises or activities can I do to explore this and see if it's actually what it is, because if it is, I have so much work to do it's not even funny.
Obligatory on mobile disclaimer.

What happened when I came out to my ex
So we were introduce by a Kendra Lee Taylor (filler generic name) (her at the time best friend), and she was Jessica Lilly Wilson (another filler generic name) . And this is what happened
Sooo. For one, I'm transgender. (Mtf), and I was with my abusive ex (cis woman), since literally high-school. We were together for a long time, I told her I would ".Wear women's clothes, and fantasize about being a woman. And for some reason dressing as one in private helped me cope sometimes." I also had expressed that sometimes it would cause me to get turned on (what the trans community later described as 'euphoria erections'). She didn't mind, atleast she said she didn't, she said she thought it was sexy, she liked a 'guy in touch with his feminine side' ,and she was bisexual anyways. I had coped with my gender issues (which i didn't fully realize were gender issues due to upbringing) , by just having these private escapes, often with her as an audience. She turned it more and more sexual though. Often whenever I was just relaxing in fem clothes she ALWAYS progressed it to sex. Now I had a bit of a 'being dominated' fetish I'm not gonna lie. But often she wanted me to do things I thought were really.gross. like making me sit in our sex juices, or sit with my own ejaculate on myself. She had a weird and honestly sick fetish for stuff like that. Specific to males in panties. And I kinda just coped with life with the mentality of " well I get to have the family the 'good Christian kid' and his high-school sweetheart. And my mother will one day look at grand babies and love the hell out of em, and that'll make all this worth it. Also I want to clarify, Post transition (so as a woman) I would be a lesbian. I've never been attracted to men. Another reason why my gender issues confused me so much. I also ALWAYS was just as honest with my partner (my abuser), as I was with myself at any given time in regards to this issue. So its not like I was a total closet case to my at the time gf. Sadly my mother got really sick. And no. She didn't make it. She went rather fast. It was devastating, tbh we had a more matriarchal system in our household, despite our father being a religious zealot. She ran the home, and he normally caved to what she wanted. I became so deeply depressed I was going to genuinely kill myself. Eventually one day I just told my partner, " I need to explore my fem side and figure out what this gender issue is, and I need to fully explore it, to see if my feminine side is just latent desires I couldn't act on when younger or if I was actually trans. " she VERY reluctantly , and angrily one day took me to get some clothes of my own. A padded bra, multiple women's underwear, and some thigh highs, and agreed to let me continue to borrow some of her stuff, until I got more items. We began exploring. Well I did, she kept trying to fetishize it, and when I told her no, or when I stayed dressed even after sex. She would get beyond huffy with me. She started getting more and more mean to me as I continued to explore in a non sexualized way. I eventually one night extremely scared and sobbing, told her I was trans and there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. So I braced for impact, expecting her to break up with me. I was astounded she said " There is nothing wrong with you, its the 2020s, and people are becoming more accepting now." I was terrified, knowing my dad was never gonna accept it, and my brothers were a coin toss, though I knew my.younger one most likely wouldn't care. And I didn't think my older one really would either but still. Hiwever as I continued in my path to coming out as a transwoman. She got more and more verbally and maliciously abusive, she sabotaged things I was beginning to try, she berated me constantly and even tried to delay my coming out. I eventually started dressing as a woman full time, except at work. And around my bio family. I started hrt in private, except my partner and her parents knew. (She was my abuser not my partner). She turned from a sweet borderline feminist, and fairly sensible liberal gal, to an irl reddit cringelord for lack of a better term. She started taking these really jacked up takes, that she never espoused before, and calling me names like " gender retard". I kept pleading with her to stop, that if she wanted to break up we just could, I'd need some time to find a place, but everything could be amicable (btw I was clear that this option always was on the table), and It was ok if she didn't wanna stay alot of couples split after a transition and that doesn't make you a bigot. But if you want to keep trying, please stop mistreating me. Several of my friends had wanted me to dump her for how she was acting. But I foolishly believed she loved me and was just having a hard time. But eventually she dumped me and at the worst time, I had lost a job , got a new job, and had to leave it for safety reasons and was basically financially dependent on her, despite wanting to leave but needing an exit strategy. She turned our new apartment (after we fled her parents house) into a horror house. I still to this day have nightmares of waking up on the couch with her about to walk through the door. The abuse was horrible. At one point comongntoca head with her brutally beating me black and blue. I didnt fight back. Within a few weeks I was on sidewalks. We had a savings account that I had helped build for over SEVEN years. And it was in her name. And she kept all of it. I was homeless and still technically am. But am housed. I don't know how to have peace. I see her when I close my eyes. I hear her insults in my head. And I'm STILL recovering from her financial abuse. What do I do? Please...

The show in question is Ramy, a comedy/drama on Hulu. For some context, the show is mostly about a Muslim family, and the character in question is Uncle Naseem, an outwardly hyper-masculine, racist, misogynist man who is clearly overcompensating for something.

Full Comments

Original post for posterity:

Like what was the point?? He was funny as hell, and I wish we could get deeper into his character, but why make him gay??? I wonder if the season where he made the uncle gay was the season the show got a Golden Globe.
Update: it’s been so fun going back and forth with you queens, please keep going, I love how butt hurt you guys are 😭 but then again I’m sure everything’s numb down there by now 😂
Update #2: I see I hurt some feelings here, let me just say, I hope you have nightmares about what I said, I hope the PreP in your stomach makes you throw up tonight, I hope you cry yourselves to sleep. Thank you for being so entertaining during my workday. Byeee queers 🥹

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Why does it bother you if he is gay? And what do you mean by “absolutely no reason”? The fact that he was gay is exactly what made us get a deeper perspective on the character, which is what you say you wanted. He otherwise was just portrayed as a backward, racist, misogynist. So it was important to show another side to him, not just that he’s the “old crazy uncle.” It shows why he is the way he is, the frustration he has felt his entire life, of being gay and having to hide it, and probably being hyper masculine to compensate . Also, I could be wrong, so feel free to clarify, but if you think Uncle Naseem was “funny as hell” because you actually agree with the comments he was making, I have news for you. The show creators definitely do not want us to agree with Uncle Naseem’s viewpoints. We are supposed to be laughing AT him for the things he is saying, not with him. If you find yourself agreeing with Uncle Naseem’s viewpoints and it bothers you that he’s gay, this show might not be for you .

Because its forced nowadays. If it wasn’t mandated by Hollwood, id have more respect for the writers.

Nah, it’s not forced. It made perfect sense. It’s like when you hear about anti-gay pastors and politicians getting caught on Grindr or with prostitutes. There’s no gay mafia telling Ramy what to do, but that’d be funny though lol

It really is forced, but you can pretend to ignore it.

How is it forced? Everyone disagrees with you. To us, it made perfect sense. I think you don’t like it because you’re a conservative who doesn’t like gay acts depicted

Lmfaoo so since everyone disagrees I should just agree with you all? Those echo chambers really smoothed out your brain.

Then articulate a non-smooth brained reason why you think you can’t have gay characters on TV or why this show in particular shouldn’t have one of the cast members be gay Nah there was no point. But thanks for the essay. why did you even ask the question if you didn’t want a real answer? Lmfaoooooo just cause you agree doesn’t make it a “real answer”. well the only answers you agree with are ones that reinforce the opinion you already hold. if you just wanted people to agree with you then why did you ask a question in the first place? That’s not what I said at all but go off sis

[...]

Actually gays are dying out. Everyone is trams these days.. lesbians are unicorns now

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I couldn’t disagree more with you. It makes him a more interesting character and puts a new spin on all his past statements and interactions. It makes Naseem more sympathetic because his homophobia is overcompensation and denial. Like they didn’t have to make him a diamond dealer either, but it also makes his antisemitism more interesting being that he has to work with Jews all the time.

Yeah, but he didn’t need to be gay

He didn’t need to be, it just was better for his character. Often times the most homophobic guy is gay. Why does it offend you so much? Do you think being gay is bad?

LMFAOOO such a high school response “oh he doesn’t like gays so he must be gay”. That talking point tracks with your other smooth brained buddies in here

Can you answer the question? Is being gay bad because it’s haram?

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People just be gay.

Duh

Are you 13?

Ouch that one really hurt 😞

lol ok kid

thanks man🙂‍↕️

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Dude….this is so mistaken. This isn’t just a DEI move or some shit. You have this really racist and emotionally wrecked uncle in denial and unable to accept his “flaws”. He knows he is for example attracted to men but he cannot accept that that is okay. He finds himself in the sauna getting sucked off because he couldn’t do it anywhere else. And the moment he thinks his niece finds out he goes crazy about it. Curb your homophobia/queerphobia. A show isn’t “infected” by the LGBTQ movement or part of the gay agenda just because it features gay characters. I’m sorry you’re too afraid to live in a world where media isn’t strictly heteronormative.

Oh save the “phobia” garbage lol, they didn’t need to make him gay period

So why did they have to make him straight?

They don’t, but making him gay shouldn’t be his whole storyline, they barely dove into his character and they just make him gay for what?? It just feels lazy.

We’re explaining to you why the reveal that he is secretly gay is essential to his character development yet you completely ignore it and assert that “they didn’t need to make him gay”. It only appears lazy because you do not understand the logic behind it. They constantly show he’s a lonely bitter old man but we just assume it’s cuz he can’t court any women cuz he’s racist. It’s a massive reveal to us that the real reason he can’t court women is because he’s not attracted to them, and he comes from a place where homosexuality is essentially a weakness and so he cannot accept that he’s weak. We see that he was dating a guy for some time but ends up punching him in the face, because for Uncle Naseem the thing he loves is also the thing he hates most about himself. He loves his family but he also hates them. He loves Ramy but he also hates him. He loves men but he also hates being attracted to them. This is what causes the dissonance in his life, because he can’t accept his flaws. The fact that such a hard ass bought a cake for his boyfriend shows how inside he’s still soft and vulnerable like everybody else. You’re gonna keep asking the question. WHY DID THEY HAVE TO MAKE HIM GAY? The truth is that Ramy Youssef didn’t have to tell us Uncle Naseem is gay, but if we didn’t know then we would know even less about Uncle Naseem.

Yeah you’re on crack or poppers if you think I’m reading all this LMFAOOO! I’ll respond with just a simple, No you’re wrong. Thank you😇

[...]

I would disagree. Him being secretly gay explains a lot about Naseem’s character flaws, especially concerning his overtly homophobic behavior. He’s very clearly compensating in multiple areas. He’s trying to put on this persona that doesn’t match who he actually is. I think him being gay is actually pretty crucial to the character and story line. I like that you don’t have any issues with the other characters? Others are not perfect either, yet you only seem to care about this.

Nah

You don’t even have any counter arguments, what’s the point of your post other than showing how incoherent you can be.

Awhhh I’m sorry I’m not engaging with you like you desperately want 🥺. Tell me how your day was buddy

You’re the one who posted this and can’t even hold your own lmao, you must not be that bright

You feel better? I’ve responded 2 times now okay🥺 hope you can sleep now

The butt hurt guy (ironically) who creates a post like this not having any self awareness to realize they are more like Naseem than their brain cells can handle, I almost feel bad

Ouch!!! You hit me with such an original response!!! It’s not like this take wasn’t said a million times 😭. And awhhh you feel bad for me??? Thanks man. I’m arguing with queers from around the globe, it does get tiring. Thanks bestie 🫶🏽

My bad, I had to repeat it because I thought you had some reading comprehension issues. You mentioned on another comment that you didn’t read it because 2 paragraphs was too long for your dumbass.

Nah it’s just, you queers all say the same things in your responses. Why waste my time ya know?

I’m sure Allah is very happy with you right now

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Sounds like a bit of casual homophobia, eh?

My homophobia is anything but casual

Then no answer will make sense to you. People be gay, and so is his uncle. Get over it cause everybody else loved the twist.

Lmfaoooo exactly it’s called an OPINION, you don’t have to agree bud. Btw I bet when you typed up That last sentence you crossed your arms like you did something LMAOOOOOOOOO

Bro did you see your post? You asked the question and here's the answer, you're a homophobe. Funny part is that YOU answered it hahaha

LMFAOOO you did it again!! Pressed 😭

The thought of you seething about gay folk enough to come complain here is hilarious to me lol🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Oh no not the rainbows!!!! Please!!! I just ate! Your “pride” gives me bubble guts!

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care to explain why you have such a problem with the uncle being gay?

Because

because what?

Because yuck

yeah I saw that you admitted to being a homophobe already. you’re a trash person with trash beliefs and a shit moral system. not much we can do about that.

LMFAOOO pat yourself on the back please, or get whoever back doors you to do it.

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I think you just don’t like that he’s gay. Get over it.

Omg I really needed to hear that, thx sis! 😂

Cool, did you get over it? And not your sis, thx! 😁

Just trying to relate to you queers, I assume your a they/that. How do you guys say sis? ?”This”?

uhh should i do the gender and age thing lol (23n) well.. like everyone else here i’m extremely suicidal. it’s like i’m in a constant state of planning my death.. it’s been this way since the year started. i mean i’ve been suicidal for as long as i can remember but never to this extent. i’ve planned to kill myself tonight lol but i’ve planned many times before, written MANYY notes.. but then i usually just sleep it off and go about my life like “normal”. this time feels different. i feel like i’ve been falling into a black hole and am finally reaching the singularity. the point of no return. no hope. no will to live or change. well ig i’ll list my reasons for doing this. 1. i’m a stinker… sounds silly but i’m being so fr 😭 randomly in eighth grade i started to stink?? it took me awhile to realize it was ME stankin up the school w my chemical warfare.. i think it’s some form of tmau??? well whatever this condition is.. it’s made my life a fucking nightmare. halfway through 10th grade i dropped out. genuinely couldnt handle the bullying anymore and i would get panic attacks constantly… not a good time for me… well i mean its not like it ever any got better lol.
Naturally if one smells like a dumpster fire constantly no one would want to be around you.. so of course i no longer had any friends. and i probably would’ve still had some friends if i didn’t completely turn my back to the whole world. after dropping out in 2016 i wouldn’t go back into society until 2023 when i got my first job. i still stink.. my family says i don’t to my face but i hear them say i stink when they think i can’t hear em… not sure why they lie but i digress.. doctors and therapist also can’t seem smell anything. but when i’m out in public or at work i’ll hear people in passing talk abt how bad i smell… my mom is convinced i have schizophrenia LMAOOO like i KNOWWW i didn’t imagine allll those kids bullying me in middle school and high school LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I FUCKING WISHHHHHHH IT WAS ALL JUST IN MY HEAD!!!!! also i should note… this condition has absolutely NOTHINGGG to do with my hygiene.. I PROMISE!!!! i always make sure i’m extremely clean and well groomed.. im sure everyone who passes me thinks im some disgusting person who doesn’t bathe or wipe properly but that’s never been the case so pls don’t tell me to “just shower”… it’s not that simple though i really wish it was.
moving along.. 2. i have really bad intrusive thoughts and a problem with starring at things i shouldn’t be looking at… so the intrusive thoughts started like a year into my self isolation.. i don’t really want to say what type but they cause immense distress.. after every intrusive thought i contemplate suicide like that’s how bad they are. as for the starring thing.. 😞 i think its also ocd related. but i stare at boobs, butts, privates, and feet.. i’m not sure how to explain this coherently.. but it’s like I KNOWW i’m NOT supposed to look but then my body just decides to look anyways. it feels like i have ZERO control over my own fucking eyes. and i promise there’s no sexual intention?? behind my stares.. but no one on the receiving end would think that. and unfortunately my eyes look at everyone including family, kids, men, women, literally everyone. AND I FUCKIBG HATE IT I WISH I WAS BLIND. my sisters think i’m some pervert and how can i live with myself knowing i’m causing them to feel unsafe and uncomfortable??? i’m not doing it on purpose. i just want to stab my fucking eyes out. this is honestly one of the main reasons for wanting to kill myself. i don’t even know when it started or fucking how?????? OR WHYY?? why do i struggle with the rarest fucking things?? like is there genuinely someone else out there who unintentionally stares at inappropriate things??? FRICK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE!!!!!!!!

1. i’ve been molested at pretty much every age and have always been “sexual” from a reallly early age ☹️ started w my cousin doing things to me i didn’t understand.. then my sisters uncle would grope me and make me kiss him. and he would like lick???? my neck??? idk there’s also this memory of someone on top of me while i sleep… yknow… doing things.. i was 13 or so and for a long time i thought the shadow hovering over me raping me was like a demon… 😭😭😭 i deadass thought i was raped by a demon LOL but recently i’ve going through my memories and yeah… that was definitely a person.. no clue who it could’ve been ☹️ i was too drowsy to do anything and i woke up in a panic and checked my underwear but didn’t see anything so ig my kid brain came to the conclusion that it was a demon.. sorry for the run on sentences 😞

4?? this isntt really a reason but after self isolating for almost 9 years i’ve completely lost the ability to properly communicate w other people. like i’m so unbelievably awkward.. it’s torture 😭 also i think i might have autism idk forming friendships with others has always been a challenge for me. honestly i really don’t talk much. like i really don’t understand the back and forth conversations. everyone makes it seem so easy. but when it comes time for me to respond or initiate my brain goes completely blank. tv static. i hope someone out there understands how painful it is to WANT to talk and engage but your brain is limited to two boring ass unengaging responses. also i never seem able to say the right thing. i always come off as mean. ugh. what’s wrong w me.
oh i just remembered something… when i was in second or first grade my FULL sized dresser and box tv pretty much the size of me both fell on me.. tv hit the back of my head and by the will of god or something i managed to crawl out from underneath them.. now i went to hospital and had an x-ray done and it showed nothing but what ifffffff i had some sort of concussion that’s caused me to be this way????? i’m just talkin out my ass. but seriously why am i this way??? was i born this strange?? sigh.
i so desperately want to live a normal life. have friends. not stink. not stare unintentionally. but fuck i just don’t think that will ever be my reality. i’ve been stuck in this same cycle for 9 years. i’ve wasted NINE fucking years of my life. sometimes it feels like my brain never finished developing past the age of 13.. i’m already 23 and i’ve done absolutely nothing. no accomplishments no goals no dreams. it feels like im permanently stuck. so it often feels like death is the only way to escape my reality. im so lonely. but i don’t know how to be a friend. im lost. i want to go to college but like I STINK??? so i’ll just get bullied and outcasted again. y’all im stumped. i see no way out aside from death. but at the same time i’m scared there’s nothing after dying. so i live my whole life wasting away and finally decide to do something and kill myself but all that greets me after i’m dead is nothing. it all seems so bleak.
what if i’m just a bad egg?
i’ll be rlly surprised if anyone has read this far 💀 sorry any grammatical errors hehe i never graduated 🤓 this life fucking sucks so maybe in my next life i can be born as a cutieful pampered house cat… for now i think i’m just gonna go to sleep and let the cycle repeat. maybe one day i’ll find my way out of this hell. through death or something else. who knows. good night…

TL;DR: Touch starved girl wishing for romance, being burned alive and need relief or maybe just borrow someone's ear.
I just need to vent to anyone right now! Like how do you deal with this torture?? I'm trying to date again after my last relationship and years of stringing together relationships, typical serial monogamist. I took a couple years to be purposely single and work on my relationship with myself. I started therapy and seeing a psychiatrist, got my future planned, am well into my transition, and I decided to put myself out there again.
Now, I'm confident in my looks. I'm tall, fit, and (please forgive my vanity) rather freaking adorable. One nights or short-term relationships never interested me before. I always considered myself demisexual, not anymore. However I have this constant burning fire of longing in my chest, it's new and exquisite! The idea of a beautiful woman's weight against me, laying on the couch watching some silly rom-com, or in the kitchen making dinner together. These ideas always excited me before but after fully realizing myself it's an absolute wonderful agony!! I feel like it's tearing me apart.
I find myself constantly fantasizing about intimacy with anyone. Online dating has proved difficult, I set a personal boundary not to date co-workers, and I don't drink so bars seem less than ideal to meet anyone. I don't care if it's one night or a passionate and disasterous fling for a few months, the need to quench the flame in my heart feels all consuming. Random selfish crushes that I know are futile ideas that won't come to fruition. What can a girl do to survive this?
Does anyone have tips? I've thrown myself into my hobbies and picking up overtime to keep my mind busy. Nothing is helping. Hanging out with my friends as often as I can to fulfill my social needs and cuddling with my cat for the warm comfort of another living creature has only magnified the yearing that being touch starved has instilled in me. There isn't many queer spaces in my city and the ones that are here cater mainly to gay men.
I didn't know how badly I missed being with a partner, how much I missed looking into someone's eyes and leaning into their body. Sharing time and getting to know them. It always came so effortlessly before, taken for granted and squandered.
Thanks for listening if you made it this far. I just needed to get this off my chest even if spoken into an uncaring void.
<3

I’ve watched the documentary on Peacock but honestly, I haven’t dug incredibly deep into the details of the case like some of you have. I do, however, have personal connections to some parties involved in this case that have helped me develop a theory about Robert’s death.
As a queer person, I’ll say, it is ridiculous to assume that just because Robert had gay friends that he was gay. But what if he was?
Robert came from a traditional Chinese family where things like homosexuality were incredibly frowned upon.
What if Robert was homosexual, and had been hiding it from his family his entire life? Even going to the extent of marrying a woman (who I am sure he still loved and cared about nonetheless).
What if Robert found out he, like so far too many gay men, had contracted HIV? At least two of the men Robert saw that night were HIV+ at the time, what if he had been intimate with any of them in the past? How would he tell his family? What would he tell his wife? He would have to tell her to keep her safe if they were to continue to be intimate. This was more than 6 years before PrEP came out and HIV/AIDS was still considered by many to be a death sentence.
Perhaps Robert felt helpless and wished to end it all. Suicide would is also considered shameful in many cultures and religions. Maybe Robert was worried his wife and family would feel guilty if he were to kill himself.
What if Robert trusted his closest friends to help him with an assisted suicide? What if he came to them out of desperation to help him end his life on his own terms and make it look like a crime as to place the blame on an entity and not cause any suspicious to his sexuality or disease?
Joe’s brother was in school for phlebotomy at the time of the death, and it was confirmed that he skipped class that night. His alibi was only corroborated by two other close friends who could have easily been covering life him.
What if the five men, together, had a premeditated plan to help their friend end his life and had it all planned out. Joe, the lawyer, of course would plan the story down to the fine details and they would go over it many times before cops were ever called. They could have been planning for weeks it months. What if Robert showed up that night knowing it would be his last. What if the men gave him paralyzing drugs and put him in the bathtub where Michael used his phlebotomy skills to drain Roberts blood to reduce the mess/ cover the use of any agents or drugs used in the process. What if they stabbed him and then realized there was a finger print or something on the original knife so they had to fake a second one that was “clean”.
What if they packed up everything with blood and evidence and bagged it up and Michael left the house to dispose if the evidence before the police ever showed up? What f he was the person that was heard/seen using the back door but it was in exit not entrance? What if the remaining three men all took their showers and put on clean robes before calling the police to report the “stabbing”?

Hi, as the title says I'm looking for queer movies that are not from the US. I want to see what life is like in other countries through a camera lens.
With "queer movies" I mean not only romantic stories, actually I would prefer it to be of another genre! It must include queer character(s) or queer themes like the exploration of one own's sexuality or a depiction of a queer life, may it be on gay men, lesbians, trans people ecc.
If it's romance it would be cool if it also dwells on social topics like homo/transphobia, family relations, activism or anything like that.
Documentaries are well accepted!
Some examples of what I watched:

• Inxeba (South Africa)
• Rafiki (Kenya)
• Happy Together (Hong Kong)
• Joyland (Pakistan)
• Many French movies
• The Handmaiden (South Korea)
• Big Band Love, Juvenile A (Japan)
• The Tears of Petra von Kant (Germany)
• Farewell, my Concubine (China)
• Funeral Parade of Roses (Japan)

Men unfortunately, grossed me out, it’s not experiences I’ve had. Ive been attracted to men, but even the men I’m attracted to gross me out. I know a common theme is repressed internalized homophobia, but I have been out as pan as years. And yes, I didn’t wanna make the jump to lesbian. My one and main issue is that I can put up with men because the sex is good simply because the biological factors of sex in a heterosexual setting do make me enjoy it. ( I’ve been both top, bottom with women but by biological I mean more fet1ish things that you can only really get with heterosexual interactions) But I’m talking flirting, I’m talking excitement, I’m saying everything else. I have no feeling towards men other than neutral or negative. In fact, I didn’t get the thrill of a romance and thought I was aromantic until I had a wlw relationship and people can get flustered outside of sex. At the end of the day, I only date women but I do like talking with men for the sex and the sex only I’ve tried relationships with men. This is more for a label or what I should identify as not that I need it, but it would be interesting to see the discourse on why.
So realist of takes boys what am I gonna be am I gay, sexiest, straight, repressed, what ??
And before you guys start taking shots I am cis and more then okay with that so no gender issues.

I know this seems like a silly question because i didnt realize i was gay due to comp het till my early 20’s, before i realized i was lesbian I was using sex with men as a form of self harm alot, having sex with people I wouldnt even breathe in their direction now, i even had a couple of boyfriends. But after realizing i was gay and having a gf for the first time, those memories infuriate me, i feel like none of those people deserved to know me in that way, i would often dissociate just to have sex with these men i didnt even like and i have a feeling that because of that im having trouble with receiving intimacy with women.
I have forgiven myself for the past because i did not know better but it keeps on resurfacing and i just would like to know if there’s anyone else with a similar experience.

I am 30M and have identified and experienced life as a straight man, had relationships, sex, fooling around, crushes, etc, on women. I consider myself to be secure in my sexuality and socially progressive/an educated Queer-Ally and I work in a field dominated by queer people. Most people are surprised to find out that I identify (or do I?) as straight.
Turns out, I have a massive crush on this guy. Like, randomly-smitten-and-he-lives-rent-free-in-my-head. This is a new experience for me. I’m physically and emotionally attracted to everything about him. Like, I cannot wait to see him, talk to him, be in his presence, thought about kissing him, etc.
So, strangers of Reddit, what the hell is going on?
We’re working together and I want to keep things professional and make sure he feels safe around and not creeped out by me (as I would with anyone). He’s also professional, but very touchy and friendly and usually, when men get too touchy/flirty with me, I do NOT enjoy it and I shrink away from them, but I actually leaned into him when he initiated touch (he did not pull away). I WANT to touch him and be touched in a non-creepy way right now. First time for everything, I guess? I know he identifies as some kind of queer and he shares many of the qualities that I look fothe pattern of personality (and even physical - he's not remotely girly and definitely gorgeous) traits in the girls I’ve dated.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do about this (if anything), but I’m kinda going “what the hell?” As I go about my daily life. I’ve been denying it for a couple weeks, but I finally admitted to myself that I really like him and that I’m really happy when I’m around him. The idea of interacting with another dick is repulsive/terrifying, to me (not in an "ew that's gay" way, but in a "this piece of machinery freaks me out") and I’m uncertain if this will evolve into a more positive outlook). At the same time, I am sexually attracted to him. It's confusing and exhausting.
The idea of identifying as “a little bi” or “heteroflexible” or even biromantic/heterosexual is still totally foreign, but I'm open to it. I’m not trying to put any labels on anything yet and my number one priority is protecting him and not being a total creep towards him.
I may be thinking too far ahead, but say he likes me back — I don’t want to burden him with me figuring out how I identify, my own repression and internalized phobias (which I am working hard to identify and rid myself of regardless), and I do not want to break his heart if I lose feelings and/or wake up one morning and realize that I want to be with a woman/miss sex with women and hurt him in the process. I’m randomly smitten and deeply confused.
Why am I obsessed with how he smells and the thought of running my fingers through his hair?
This is such a weird feeling. And no, I’ve never been able to sit in chairs properly. I do enjoy The Mummy, but I've seen it like twice? Unrelated…..?

So On a daily basis I struggle as to whether I think I’m gay or bi. I watch gay/Trans porn 80% of the time then Lesbian the other 20% .01% straight porn but it just bores the hell outta me and when I watch it I imagine myself as the female. When I fantasize I think about guys or Trans girls majority of the time to. I also crossdress as well and love to act feminine cute outfits nails done makeup wigs have to have the complete female look. Most of time I catch myself checking out women more than men as I have little to zero attraction to masculine males as I prefer femboys/Feminine guys and femboys are pretty rare lol. I basically think about crossdressing TGirls, Femboys, anything girly or feminine constantly wishing I could be girly or feminine 24/7. One day I’ll think about girls then the rest of the time I’m thinking about guys and crossdressing. Honestly I think more about dating guys rather than girls I don’t seem to lust after women even if I think there pretty I just crave guys more lol. I just can’t stop thinking about guys and having a boyfriend even while currently there’s a girl interested in me all the while there’s a guy I’m crushing on to which I talk to way more and think about him all the time. Does anyone else struggle with this as well? Like one day or most days you fantasize about the same sex but still think about the opposite sex just not as much?

I recently entered into a monogamous relationship with a man who I adore. I spent the last few years dating nonmonogamously and dating people of all genders after being in a monogamous relationship with a man for six years prior. I also became very connected to other queer women as friends and have found a majority of my friends now are queer women - primarily lesbians or women who generally prefer women.
I’m verrryyy bisexual. I don’t have a preference. I adore this guy that I’m with and he makes me feel loved and safe. However, I’ve been feeling really disconnected from the queer community. Nobody has said anything to me to make me feel excluded, it’s all in my head. But I feel less connected to my friends now because I’m dating a man and they’re all mostly gay or generally prefer women. I feel like I’m less a part of the community now than I was. I know it’s not true but I feel like I am losing a part of my identity and I don’t want to feel that way.
My question is for other women in relationships with men, how do you stay connected to your queer identity? How do you adjust to the new dynamic? Maybe I just need to find more bi friends? Also just looking for reassurance as well. Anyways, cheers!

I've been wrestling with the best way to come out to my friend and would love some input from all the lovely people in this subreddit <3
So, for context, I am 21, have been tranisitioning medically for well over a year now, and have been generally passing quite well.
Now, I met my closest friend from being housemates with her last year, which was my second year of uni and her last year. She graduated and moved back to her country, but we still talk and play games for hours each night. She does not know that I'm trans, but knows that I love generally to do makeup and most of my clothes are from the women's side. She also knows that I have been lasering my face. She knows that I exist in online spaces as female (voice included) and actually goes along with it so well, has never misgendered me online or even messed up my name irl when i poliety gave her a new name to use for me, abeit a shortened, feminine nickname. We've done makeovers and photoshoots and just overall done "girly" things together with no issues. She did ask me if I was gay one time but I said that I am not because even though I am gay (lesbian) I know she meant am I a gay men.
I never came out to her before because honestly I never thought we would become so close and stay friends for so long to the point where she has actually brought a ticket and will be staying with me for two weeks during my graduation. The need to come out never really happened and I was happy with how things were so I never saw the point in telling her, like I can present completely femme, use a female voice and she uses the right name for me.
In the time that she left the country, I doubled my dose of E which is when the majority of changes, including me being able to pass as a cis woman have happened. I'm at the point where most people in my life know me as a woman, and I would like to come out to her.
The only reason I'm a bit nervous is that she may not actually view me as a woman. I know that she is completely fine with people being gay/trans or just queer in general but I need more than that, I need her to view me as a woman and use the correct pronouns and everything for me. She's said a few things before such as not accepting trans people as their correct gender until they actually start to tranisition medically which make me think that she may accept me and being trans but not view me as a woman.
Now, of course I don't want people in my life who cannot view me as a woman (in fact I recently cut off one of closests friends for this reason) but I really hate argueing and really enjoy her being my friend, It's almost like a sort of if it aint broke then dont fix it sorta thing, because I have pretty much everything I could want considering im not out to her but I also think being out would help explain some things such as boobs when she comes. Overall I'd just love for her to accept me fully as a woman, and to be honest not that much really needs to change in our friendship and I generally feel like she treats me like one anyway but for some of the reasons I mentioned earlier I'm just kinda nervous and think it may be smart to have some extra talking points for when I do tell her with how some of the things that she says can be problematic sometimes.
I really hope this made sense, my brain feels very scattered currently during the last week of my uni and honestly typing this out made me feel like I am 15 again, confused about identity and pretty much all things trans as well as how to come out to people in my life at the time.

Personally, I feel very gay and like bisexual is the type of gay I am. I think part of why I feel this way is growing up repressed when I had attraction to men I always reminded myself of the attraction I have for women too, and that if I'm bi that means I can "choose to be straight", so now that I'm rejecting that mentality it feels like I'm going back and choosing to be gayer, because choosing to be straighter than I am was a bad choice. Overall I like identifying with gayness and being referred to as such (as long as it's not in a bigoted way ofc).
I've also noticed a lot of people here have more of a mindset I'd describe as "I'm not gay, I'm bi, I'm something else." Which is also super valid and I recognize that! Just wondering people's thoughts and feelings.

There are so many people complaining about the way a reality show depicts… reality? If you’re a gay man or know lots of them, you’ve probably met someone who embodies at least some aspects of Jerrod. Yes, not every gay man is like this, but this show is about Jerrod.
Many gay men can be emotionally stunted or go through an adolescence of sorts, as an adult. Growing up gay often means hiding yourself and stuffing your sexuality back into a corner of your closet. You’re often learning more about your personality and sexuality in adulthood.
Let’s not give Jerrod the burden of representing the entirety of the gay community or holding him to some impossible standard. We’re watching his life unfold. We’re not watching a scripted drama with meticulously crafted characters.

First, I have to note that my parents are actually really nice most of the time. They let me do whatever(and I ended up spending over 1k hour on an MMORPG, maybe they should have beaten it out of me), never beaten me, occasionally yelled at me when I really deserved it, and paid for everything within reason(including my fairly expensive college education). They tried to instill good values into me that I largely recognize, but never tried to force anything down my throat.
However, they are uhhhh pretty homophobic and transophobic.
Everytime we are watching Netflix together, when something that is "trans" or "gay" show up, they would literally skip it until the trans or gay part is gone. There is this time where we were watching the last of us, and there was this episode where the entirety was two gay men living together, and it was fucking hilarious. My dad would skip 5 minutes, watch like a few seconds and then realize the content is still "gay", and then continuing this loop until the end of the episode.
Anyways, recently my only cousin, came out as trans(FTM), and their reaction was funny as fuck. One day, they came to me looking all serious, and said "xxx, today there is some serious news I have to let you know. Your cousin is trans, and his new name is xxx. I understand that he is going through a hard time, and I hope you treat him with respect and in the same way you would treat him as before." in this oddly patronizing voice that kinda shares the tone of announcing someone just got AIDS or cancer. The thing is: #1 I already know from my cousin, #2 I might be less transphobic than them.
Yeah this was just funny.

30M I’ve felt disconnected from the gay community for a while, as I dislike frequent casual hookups and regard those that participate in them as immature and, at certain ages…predatorial
I’m a guy, I get the physical NEED to have sex, but do so many people really think they’re likely to meet and recognize a potential partner if they swallow or deliver 5 loads to 5 different men every couple weeks?

TW: unhealthy relationships, abuse, drugs, self harm
For context, my(22F) ex(23M), Jason, & I dated for 2.5 years. I basically spent the entire time trying to leave but he wouldn’t let me, even when I tried telling him that I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS. I developed multiple stress-related autoimmune issues during it, started self harming again, & may have had a stress seizure (I had stress induced seizures as a young teen but outgrew it). I was so visibly unwell that my extended family members started reaching out to my parents.
About 6 months into this relationship, Jason introduced me to his friend “Mark”. We clicked immediately bc we’re both autistic & have overlapping special interests. For 2 years, Jason & I would go over to Marks house. Jason would spend the entire time scrolling TikTok or sleeping, despite Mark & I trying to involve him. Bc of this, Mark & I became friends.
When I broke up with Jason 7 months ago (after a 2 month break), I figured my friendship with Mark was probably over bc I wasn’t sure if it would be weird for us to hang out. That was until a couple weeks ago when Jason had an oxy relapse & did some minor stalker shit, which triggered my PTSD from one of my previous ex’s stalking me. I called his dad & he brought him to a psych hospital. While he was admitted, Mark & I met up to discuss how to handle Jason. I want what’s best for him but I need space & I felt like Mark needed to know what was going on.
After that, we started hanging out a lot. The last 2 weeks, we’ve hung out almost every day (my job is online so I work while we hang out & he just finished college). We smoke weed, have doggy play dates, watch TV, & body double for each other when we need to get chores done (it helps our ADHD).
Nothing romantic or sexual has or will happen due to 1) im 99% sure I’m gay, & even if I’m actually just bi, I have zero interest in being with a man again & I’ve already met a girl I really like & 2) he just left his abusive ex gf, & it was so bad he doesn’t even want to be with women anymore (he’s pan so he’s happy to date men/enbies).
On top of all of this, my ex hasn’t been the best friend to him recently. When they hang out (which isn’t often), he focuses more on TikTok than what Mark is saying. He also didn’t say much when Mark was being abused, & he even started to reconnect with a former friend who was extremely shitty to Mark after Mark called him out for engaging in LITERAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. My ex stopped hanging out with him after I voiced how uncomfortable I was, but he didn’t care that it upset Mark.
Anyways, flash forward to the other day. Jason asked Mark how often we hang out. Mark told him, & Jason asked if he could hang out with me less, saying that it made him uncomfortable. Now, Mark & I both feel bad bc we don’t want him to feel uncomfortable or left out, but at the same time, we’re also frustrated bc now we’ve been friends for 2 years & Jason wouldn’t be left out if it wasn’t for what he did while he was high.

Was work-trading here through a workaway program and was just given until Saturday (shabbat) to move! Because she “doesn’t like having other people in her house and forgot that”…… i am human too and don’t deserve this level of discarding and disregard for my immediate well being. After i uproot my life and choosing to spend my time assisting someone else
Am nb and have had guns pulled on me in rest stop bathrooms etc- was a city kid homeless 1.5 years- moved into a studio in a rural “liberal “ majority goyish area and am beside myself while experiencing the insidious inhumanity of compounded bigotry. The worst is being assumed to be completely incompetent or otherwise lacking. Some people almost pity me it’s insane. . Wanted to trust this opportunity. I feel sick.
Wanted to think i did something wrong and it was my fault and be accountable to whatever it was….. but i asked snd she said it wad her first workaway and she bit off more than she could chew. But until sat? Wow…
She said that gay marriage and zionism were the two biggest components keeping everyone paying attn to clinate change and none of us should protest it’s selfish and “men are men women are women” in that convo..
I never want to think its bigotry but it is. Mizrahi and on T so hard to hide it. Grateful for this sub for existing in these moments snd beyond

So, I actually tried asking this question over in AskMen and it actually got taken down because I violated one of their rules- so I'd thought I would ask this question here because I want to hear the opinions of other LGBT people as an LGBT person myself because I feel like I have never really gotten an answer- so I'm just gonna copy and paste what I wanted to ask over there onto here, and I want to hear some of you guys' takes on this topic:
So, I'm a bisexual cis man- more specifically I'm Achillean, which is under the bi umbrella, meaning I am attracted to men (cis and trans) and masculine-presenting/transmasc non-binary people (AMAB/AFAB non-binary people who identify with masculinity and may medically transition to appear more masculine, but without identifying as a man). But for intensive purposes, I'm just bi who's attracted to men and masc non-binary people. That's it.
Seeing the whole discourse on "can men be friends with women?" as an LGBT outsider looking in must be so fucking sad- because my bi ass over here is just wondering: "Wait, if men can't be friends with women because they just wanna sleep with each other secretly in the back of their heads, then how can bi or pan people make friends with the gender(s) they're attracted to? How are LGB people friends then? How the fuck am I, a bisexual man, able to be friends with a man or non-binary people without wanting to sleep with them?". Like, can I not be friends with any man? I can't be friends with any man without wanting to sleep with them? Or any non-binary person? I can't be friends with anyone of the genders I'm attracted to without wanting to f*ck them? Really? My best friend of almost 8 years, since middle school, is an asexual cis man and I never had any feelings for him beyond just being like he's my brother. Never. I've never had any sort of a crush on him. Like, he's not ugly, but I just don't find him sexually or romantically attractive. He's not bad-looking, but that's it. He's just a friend. He's like my brother. But also, I feel like bi men who are attracted to women can be friends with women without wanting to f*ck all of them. Like, where do bi or pansexual people fit into all of this? Or what about queer people or people who are attracted to more than one gender identity at large?
So, I just thought I wanted to ask all the straight men of Reddit: If straight men and women can't be friends because one of them will end up wanting to f*ck the other, then how are us bisexuals supposed to have any friends? Can bisexuals be close, best friends with each other? With the gender(s) they are attracted to? Can bi men be friends with men, women, or nonbinary people without falling in love? What about bi men who are attracted to the binary genders- men and women- they can't be friends with either of them? Or what about bi men who are attracted to women and non-binary people? Or hell, on that note, what about pansexual people? Or polysexual people? They can't be friends with ANYONE, or anyone who is of the gender(s) they are attracted to? Can pansexual people make friends? Or what about gay men, can they be best friends with the other men? No one says that gay men can't be best friends with other gay men? Same-sex attracted people can be friends with people of the same sex without ever wanting to f*ck or date them? Does the same hold for lesbians?
Does the same apply to trans men? Can trans men and trans women be close, best friends with each other? Or is it just WOMEN in particular that men/male-aligned people can't be friends with? If that's the case: can bi, pan, or polysexual men be friends with women? Why is it JUST straight men can't be friends with women, but no one thinks that bi or pansexual men can't be friends with women? Bi and pan men don't have a problem being close friends with women without wanting to sleep with them, they seem totally fine. LGB men in particular can be best friends with the gender(s) that they're attracted to, so why is it so hard for straight men? I can be friends with men without wanting to f*ck every guy friend that I have ever had.
You know what, how is anyone in the LGBT+ community friends with anyone? Do you think we're all just f*cking each other, that we don't have a SINGLE friend that we've never f*cked, ever? That just seems kinda sad.
Also, where do non-binary people fit into all of this? What about AMAB non-binary people, who don't medically transition but just don't identify as men, they have a sexuality too. AMAB non-binary people can't be friends with women if they're attracted to women? How do they work?
Also, why is it just that straight women can be friends with straight men without falling in love, but not the other way around? Are you seriously telling me that you CAN NOT for the life of you be friends with any woman without just falling in love with them? If so, why do you think that men fall in love with their female friends much more than women fall in love with their male friends? Why is it easier for women to be close friends with men without wanting to sleep with them than it is the other way around for men?
I just feel so confused over the whole men-women friends discourse because where the fuck do we LGBT people exist in this convo? Like, I feel like LGBT people over here are just chilling and we're not arguing over if gay men can be friends with other gay men. Of course, the LGBT community is not perfect by any means, but do you guys actually believe that YOU PERSONALLY can't be friends with any women?
Sorry for the blurge. I just needed to rant because I feel like no one can answer this question.