We’ve been together for 4 and a half years basically. We’ve know each other for 10. Liked each other in high school, life happened, I moved away, she had a kid, found our way back to each other, and ended up having a child of our own 2 years ago. To try and summarize, she feels once our daughter was born, that I got too comfortable and acted as though I knew she wasn’t going anywhere. I worked overnight construction for years, even before we got together, made it to a superintendent position, with a job where I averaged anywhere from 65-80+ hours a week. She was home with the kids, I didn’t make enough to put the kids in daycare, and couldn’t commit to any kind of permanent arrangement to assist her with taking care of the kids so she could work. The goal, since before we got together, was for me to leave my trade, but I made more money doing that, than we would have if we both started entry level jobs, not to mention then having to pay for daycares. I was offered help by my mother who lived out of state to bring me family over there with promises of help so we could make the changes necessary to restructure our life and improve our situation. I got here, worked in my same trade for a few months until the rain season began, and she immediately began her course to become a CNA, then started work as one, and makes decent money. Well she made a friend there, who I honestly can’t stand. I have NEVER told her who she can and can’t see, hang out with, talk to, nothing like that, she’s never given me a reason to doubt her, she has always been a loyal person and very honest. This friend of hers, without spending time on all the details and making this post even longer, tries encouraging my girlfriend to do things or think certain ways that I feel are detrimental to our relationship. Telling her she should start an OF, is one example, and when my girlfriend vented to her about an issue we had, told her that I am a narcissist like every guy she’s been with and to just leave me.
For some context, I forgot our anniversary. I think I’ve forgotten it almost every year, because it wasn’t really a special occasion, we talked about it a few months into our relationship basically saying “hey we’re dating right? Like this is official? What do we tell people if they ask what our anniversary is? Okay cool, sounds good, moving on.” I get it, that mindset was wrong of me. I also procrastinate on things like holidays, birthdays, whatever, and have had some instances where I really should have tried harder to make her feel special and appreciated. I used to do the hallmark movie corny stuff, I used to have a notebook I’d write in when I got home in the mornings while she was asleep about how I loved her, she’s beautiful, I appreciate her, blah blah. One time I set a path from the front door to the upstairs bath with candles, flower petals, where a bath was drawn, with red lights for ambiance and a bath bomb for her. It fell off because the honey moon phase ended, although I feel it lasted a long time, and life events happened that lead to some emotional dry spells on her part where she wasn’t ready to receive affection, her grandmother passing, having a miscarriage far along in our first pregnancy together, her step father dying, and then also the stresses of my job wearing me out, and getting comfortable subconsciously telling myself that even though I don’t always do those same things anymore, she knows I think she’s the greatest and I love her.
I have a bad habit that I’ve been working on for a few months now, where if she’d bring up things that made me nervous to think about or stress me out to plan, I would play too much and not take the situations seriously, and make her not feel heard as a result. I always teased that I don’t believe in legally getting married, that I’d take her to the courthouse and let her change her last name to mine and then we can have a ceremony after. 2 years ago I told her that wasn’t the case, and we finally talked about it where I told her that once our situation is right, in marrying her. I know in hindsight that I should have still placed it as a higher priority, but we never really talked about it further, and she clung to what I’d said before that about us never getting married. When our fighting started getting bad about 2 months ago, and we finally communicated what the underlying root of her unhappiness was, I had a huge perspective change. Some other big events happened, my step father who we lived with overdosed from fentanyl in our basement, and really changed my perspective on life and how quickly things can end and change and blah blah, to where I told her that I don’t want to fight, she is my one, and I want to marry her. She basically took it as me saying it out of fear to get her to stay. I’ve been trying to show her that I want to make the effort she is asking for. That she is as special to me as I say, but now in her mind she is taking an approach of “why did it take 4 years to get to this point.”
I never try to deny responsibility for my actions, I always try to be quick to reflect and acknowledge where I may have been wrong. But now I almost feel like my readiness to say okay I messed up by getting comfortable and not making you feel heard in these situations and everything else I’ve talked about, kind of seems like I’ve only made her feel completely validated in her idea that I have messed up for 4 years and just not appreciated her. I almost want to tell her that yes, I have slowed down and gotten comfortable, but no, there’s are so many examples of times I’ve still shown you how much I cared. I fear doing so will come off argumentative, and give her more fuel to the fire of her friend calling me a narcissist. Side note: she has since stopped getting advice from that friend, because she did come to the conclusion that her friend does not have her best interest, and has seen an uglier side to her as time has gone on, but I feel the seeds of discord have been sown.
I’m so sorry, I hope some of you with good intentions stick through all of this, and I know there’s other context that could help, but I guess I just need some ideas on what to do. 7 weeks ago we started fighting over petty day to day things, 5 weeks ago we finally established her root of unhappiness, 4 weeks ago she said she needed space, 2-3 weeks ago we said we were taking a break, and I feel her feelings of negativity have only grown. I’ve sucked at giving space admittedly, as time goes on I’ve gotten better though I fear damage has been further done by not doing great about accepting her request for space. Idk, we have a child together, I love both of the children like they’re my own blood, I’ve never felt this happy in a relationship (I know I’m young, still) and now that we’re finally hitting our goals with our lifestyle changes and career changes, now she’s finally gotten to this point of giving up.
Do I try giving her space, doing my own thing and seeing if that separation and seeing my positive activities draws her back in? Or has it gone on so long that that’s not going to work? Do I try saying finally “hey I acknowledge my mistakes, but in your attempts to focus on my wrong doings I feel like you’re ignoring all the good things I did and I’d like you to try remembering those? I don’t hit her, cuss at her, our heated fights can probably be counted on 1, maybe 2 hands, I don’t cheat, I provide, I’ve taken care of the kids just about by myself for the past 5 months to give her room to get her new profession down, I cook and clean every night, not to be crass but our intimate life is very good, I know I deliver for her on that account, and I’m someone who is always willing to apologize and adapt and adjust. Any advice that isn’t slanderous to either of us would be awesome, I get at this point that if it’s too late then I need to just start preparing for that eventuality and working on myself, but for the sake of keeping my family together, I want to exhaust all of my options to make this work.

Idk what I'm going on about but honestly I am feeling exaughsted and over all just overwhelmed so it's a vent ig. I'm a fulltime college student, and a parent to a 1.5 y/o. Our apartment is a complete mess and to top it off it has an extreme infestation of roaches its the area mainly but also the mess isn't helping.
I live with my child's father which I will refer to as J and our dog. I try to prioritize spending time outside but honestly its exaughsting doing it all myself. J works 2 jobs (1 fulltime and the other weekends so defiantly alot) he is also a student part time online however I feel like the majority of the home load is on me. The dog or our son won't see the outside world if I'm not taking them. When he's not working he is "too tired" to come out with us so that leaves me and our non leash trained dog with our son struggling. I'm lucky enough to have a brother living close by who often times will Come with me if I pick him up.
However i feel completely drained. For starters we used to use my car for absolutely everything and it's Manuel so only I know how to drive it so that burned me out from driving so now I completely dread having to drive anywhere. Sounds dramatic but it's true. I also have a flex job I go to sometimes rarely but I recently committed to a new job for a weekend schedule and I recently had my first shadow day and my god idk if I can do it. The job entails looking after an autistic nonverbal boy and the 3 hour day felt like 12. It's one of those jobs where there's not much for you to be doing but you feel alot of pressure to be doing something. Mainly because I'll be in this little boys house with his parents for 9 hours just following him around and what not. I think I maybe in over my head with this one.
To continue I really want to commit to a healthy life style, but it's been hard because I've never had a healthy lifestyle. I try cooking but hate cooking and on top of that the dishes pile up and if I don't do them which honestly I haven't been they sit there forever. Overall the process of that is exaughsting. Once I'm done cooking I have to try to keep my kid eating (he's at such a busy stage he wants to walk around the whole time so I follow with food lmao) that's exaughsting but it's ok. I had a role of going to the gym daily but with all this and school I think it's gonna be a min until I can push myself into it again. I really want to but I can't bring myself to do it. Anyways since I dread cooking we eat out pretty frequently which makes me feel like a shit parent and a shit person I told myself I wouldn't feed my kid trash but here we are.
My dog unfortunately doesn't go out everyday since I'm at school or just drained. It breaks my heart because she is so sweet and deserves the best I just can't find a balance. I bathe my son brush his teeth and put him to bed all on my own since j works an overnight schedule. I also get up with him make him breakfast put him down for his first nap and leave for school while J sleeps.
J helps financially he covers majority of food costs and all of the rent. However I don't feel it's fair for him to choose to not do these things because he is "tired" or he has school work or whatever. I have school work and I'm exaughsted too? I still take them out pretty frequently for the majority of the day. My son is also in a whole ass daddy phase which kinda annoys me cause this dude really has the role of being a part time parent and my son likes him better? The dude hasnt brushed his teeth nor bathed him for probably more than a total of 5x.
Also I have no sex drive anymore its not shocking to me I'm doing way to much. However J makes sexual advances on me and I'm tired of that too. We have alot of problems. The majority involve me complaining about this unequal balance and him stating that it is equal and what he's doing is just as hard.
I appreciate what he does, but i don't think its enough being honest. If I had a career rn and was able to support my son and I on my own I would've already had my own apartment. I think it would actually be easier to just clean up after myself cook smaller portions less dishes. Idk maybe I would feel alive again? I feel like I'm working overtime with no pay every single day.
So anyways there's that ig. If you made it this far I'm assuming you relate so I'm sorry for you too.

I (23 FTM) have multiple chronic illnesses, both physical and mental, that prevent me from really doing anything. When I’m not having panic attacks, I’m having horrible muscle spasms or my back is in so much pain that my legs give out. I either forget to take care of myself, or when I remember, I don’t have the physical and/or mental capacity to complete the most basic tasks. I rely on my fiancé to assist me with everything as my family, whom we are living with, doesn’t think I need the support. On top of helping me bathe, getting me something to eat, or reminding me to use the bathroom, my fiancé works full time. The entire time he is at work I am stuck in the same spot most of the day until he gets home. As a result he is constantly exhausted with no time to himself, and has a very minimal social life.
I’m too disabled to work, but not disabled enough for assistance. I’ve been denied three times. I have no insurance currently as we can’t afford it. I’m supposed to be going to free clinics in my town for both medical and mental health, but the medical clinic closed down, which stopped me from getting my meds. No more meds, I can’t leave the house, as I was already having a hard time going out while taking them. My therapist kept canceling and missing our zoom appointments and I had to find out two days before my last scheduled appointment that I had to have an earnings statement from the DoL to continue seeing her. I can only get this done in person.
It’s been two months, I’m unsure how I’m supposed to get anything done when my fiancé is only off on one weekday, I have massive panic attacks just stepping on the porch, and I can’t walk for more than like two minutes. I need more support than he can give and neither of us know what to do. Does anyone else know what we should do?

uhh should i do the gender and age thing lol (23n) well.. like everyone else here i’m extremely suicidal. it’s like i’m in a constant state of planning my death.. it’s been this way since the year started. i mean i’ve been suicidal for as long as i can remember but never to this extent. i’ve planned to kill myself tonight lol but i’ve planned many times before, written MANYY notes.. but then i usually just sleep it off and go about my life like “normal”. this time feels different. i feel like i’ve been falling into a black hole and am finally reaching the singularity. the point of no return. no hope. no will to live or change. well ig i’ll list my reasons for doing this. 1. i’m a stinker… sounds silly but i’m being so fr 😭 randomly in eighth grade i started to stink?? it took me awhile to realize it was ME stankin up the school w my chemical warfare.. i think it’s some form of tmau??? well whatever this condition is.. it’s made my life a fucking nightmare. halfway through 10th grade i dropped out. genuinely couldnt handle the bullying anymore and i would get panic attacks constantly… not a good time for me… well i mean its not like it ever any got better lol.
Naturally if one smells like a dumpster fire constantly no one would want to be around you.. so of course i no longer had any friends. and i probably would’ve still had some friends if i didn’t completely turn my back to the whole world. after dropping out in 2016 i wouldn’t go back into society until 2023 when i got my first job. i still stink.. my family says i don’t to my face but i hear them say i stink when they think i can’t hear em… not sure why they lie but i digress.. doctors and therapist also can’t seem smell anything. but when i’m out in public or at work i’ll hear people in passing talk abt how bad i smell… my mom is convinced i have schizophrenia LMAOOO like i KNOWWW i didn’t imagine allll those kids bullying me in middle school and high school LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I FUCKING WISHHHHHHH IT WAS ALL JUST IN MY HEAD!!!!! also i should note… this condition has absolutely NOTHINGGG to do with my hygiene.. I PROMISE!!!! i always make sure i’m extremely clean and well groomed.. im sure everyone who passes me thinks im some disgusting person who doesn’t bathe or wipe properly but that’s never been the case so pls don’t tell me to “just shower”… it’s not that simple though i really wish it was.
moving along.. 2. i have really bad intrusive thoughts and a problem with starring at things i shouldn’t be looking at… so the intrusive thoughts started like a year into my self isolation.. i don’t really want to say what type but they cause immense distress.. after every intrusive thought i contemplate suicide like that’s how bad they are. as for the starring thing.. 😞 i think its also ocd related. but i stare at boobs, butts, privates, and feet.. i’m not sure how to explain this coherently.. but it’s like I KNOWW i’m NOT supposed to look but then my body just decides to look anyways. it feels like i have ZERO control over my own fucking eyes. and i promise there’s no sexual intention?? behind my stares.. but no one on the receiving end would think that. and unfortunately my eyes look at everyone including family, kids, men, women, literally everyone. AND I FUCKIBG HATE IT I WISH I WAS BLIND. my sisters think i’m some pervert and how can i live with myself knowing i’m causing them to feel unsafe and uncomfortable??? i’m not doing it on purpose. i just want to stab my fucking eyes out. this is honestly one of the main reasons for wanting to kill myself. i don’t even know when it started or fucking how?????? OR WHYY?? why do i struggle with the rarest fucking things?? like is there genuinely someone else out there who unintentionally stares at inappropriate things??? FRICK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE!!!!!!!!

1. i’ve been molested at pretty much every age and have always been “sexual” from a reallly early age ☹️ started w my cousin doing things to me i didn’t understand.. then my sisters uncle would grope me and make me kiss him. and he would like lick???? my neck??? idk there’s also this memory of someone on top of me while i sleep… yknow… doing things.. i was 13 or so and for a long time i thought the shadow hovering over me raping me was like a demon… 😭😭😭 i deadass thought i was raped by a demon LOL but recently i’ve going through my memories and yeah… that was definitely a person.. no clue who it could’ve been ☹️ i was too drowsy to do anything and i woke up in a panic and checked my underwear but didn’t see anything so ig my kid brain came to the conclusion that it was a demon.. sorry for the run on sentences 😞

4?? this isntt really a reason but after self isolating for almost 9 years i’ve completely lost the ability to properly communicate w other people. like i’m so unbelievably awkward.. it’s torture 😭 also i think i might have autism idk forming friendships with others has always been a challenge for me. honestly i really don’t talk much. like i really don’t understand the back and forth conversations. everyone makes it seem so easy. but when it comes time for me to respond or initiate my brain goes completely blank. tv static. i hope someone out there understands how painful it is to WANT to talk and engage but your brain is limited to two boring ass unengaging responses. also i never seem able to say the right thing. i always come off as mean. ugh. what’s wrong w me.
oh i just remembered something… when i was in second or first grade my FULL sized dresser and box tv pretty much the size of me both fell on me.. tv hit the back of my head and by the will of god or something i managed to crawl out from underneath them.. now i went to hospital and had an x-ray done and it showed nothing but what ifffffff i had some sort of concussion that’s caused me to be this way????? i’m just talkin out my ass. but seriously why am i this way??? was i born this strange?? sigh.
i so desperately want to live a normal life. have friends. not stink. not stare unintentionally. but fuck i just don’t think that will ever be my reality. i’ve been stuck in this same cycle for 9 years. i’ve wasted NINE fucking years of my life. sometimes it feels like my brain never finished developing past the age of 13.. i’m already 23 and i’ve done absolutely nothing. no accomplishments no goals no dreams. it feels like im permanently stuck. so it often feels like death is the only way to escape my reality. im so lonely. but i don’t know how to be a friend. im lost. i want to go to college but like I STINK??? so i’ll just get bullied and outcasted again. y’all im stumped. i see no way out aside from death. but at the same time i’m scared there’s nothing after dying. so i live my whole life wasting away and finally decide to do something and kill myself but all that greets me after i’m dead is nothing. it all seems so bleak.
what if i’m just a bad egg?
i’ll be rlly surprised if anyone has read this far 💀 sorry any grammatical errors hehe i never graduated 🤓 this life fucking sucks so maybe in my next life i can be born as a cutieful pampered house cat… for now i think i’m just gonna go to sleep and let the cycle repeat. maybe one day i’ll find my way out of this hell. through death or something else. who knows. good night…

I currently have a B12 and CoQ10 deficiency and have been supplementing both and have found that my symptoms are improving. While I'm not low in molybdenum, I could use more of it. Do be sure to add in a B complex vitamin eventually as high dose B12 supplementation can lower the other B vitamins in your body. High dose molybdenum can also cause low copper as well, so I would add in a copper supplement eventually if you experience symptoms of a deficiency. Get your copper levels tested before supplementing though as too much copper can be dangerous.
Some of you may be deficient in one or all of these, meaning you likely have impaired sulfur processing pathways as a result.
This goes along with what Dr. Greg Nigh wrote in his book titled "The Devil in the Garlic".
Also, the body needs sulfate in order to live. This is why Dr. Nigh recommends taking magnesium sulfate (epsom salt) baths to maintain that body's sulfate reserve. Sulfate is absorbed into the body while bypassing the gastrointestinal system. He recommends soaking in 4 cups each day for over a week and then taking those baths periodically. Personally, this is WAY too much for me. I can only handle a couple of teaspoons at the moment.
I've been able to tolerate more sulfur-based foods since supplementing the aformentioned vital nutrients, however.
The mold/H2s connection: If you have mycotoxins - specifically gliotoxin - that is a sulfur-based one. Gliotoxins feed H2s bacteria. So, if your case is based on mold toxicity, try detoxing from gliotoxin and see if you get better. Gliotoxins can be detoxed using clays (e.g. bentonite clay) and probiotics.
OTHER POTENTIAL CAUSES OF H2S SIBO/OVERGROWTH:

• heavy metal toxicity (aluminum/mercury - impede body's ability to process sulfur)
• glyphosate toxicity (impairs sulfur pathways/body's ability to process sulfur)
• vitamin D deficiency??
• food poisoning
• antibiotic overuse

In case you were wondering on how to detox your body from the aforementioned metals and glyphosate, Advanced TRS by Coseva detoxes all of those. I have seen great results using it. I've probably gone through 7-8 bottles now.

All the kids at the residential facility I work at got sick. Staff refused to hospitalize, or even keep any kids out of school, or even open windows, so 100% of them and about half of staff got it, including me.
14F was cold, but 41F sick was just as cold, and maybe worse. It was last Friday, at 2am when I finally accepted my fate and began getting sick into a plastic bag in my van.
I ran out of bags quickly and felt dysentery coming on so I rushed to planet fitness and pretended I was there to exercise. I got sick 10 times and had other unpleasant symptoms too.
Eventually I was so fatigued and nauseous that I had to roll out a large towel in the handicap bathroom stall and lie down between bouts of getting sick. At other times, I fell asleep with my head on my arm on the public toilet and hoped nobody would notice.
I left PF at 7am feeling like death. I begged my closest friend for help that morning. I told him I would regrettably miss out on mountain biking that day and asked if I could use his bathroom while he was gone. We have a strong friendship and I often watch his place or just hang out when he isn't around. I told him I just needed a safe place to get sick.
I was surprised when he told me no, citing his fear of catching what I have. He's a hypochondriac and caught his first cold in years from me a few weeks prior, so I understand his perspective, but it was heart breaking to see that he was ready to let me shit myself and puke in a bag in a van for 6 hours while I waited for hotel check in. I even offered to only go onside for emergencies. Am I the asshole for expecting he would let me use his restroom while gone?
I spent the rest of the day and all of the next day rotting in a hotel room, married to the toilet. I took a shower and a bath, my first bath in many years. I slept in a bed but slept wrong and trashed my lower back. I watched the Boston Bruins shit themselves as badly as I had earlier that night, and I missed a workshift too after burning $250 on hotel expenses.
Getting sick sucks. Getting sick while homeless is hell. Stay safe out there folks. Avoid alcohol. It trashes our immune systems.

My son (30m) has lived in my apartment his whole life rent free, he is unemployed and wants to move his girlfriend (20f) into my apartment. I (50m)have tried to talk about rent to him but he pushes that subject away and tells me how I need to be a supportive father and let them move in and turn his room into a media/living room and my room into their room. They haven't told me where I will stay since there is only 2 rooms in my small apartment. I have texted my son that I have bought boxes and he has thirty days to move he and his girlfriend are pissed. My exwife (49f) is telling me to let them be kids and find a hotel to stay at while they live rent free. They expect me to pay for everything including their media/living room idea. My exwife has money and a huge house (5 beds 2.5 baths) that can easily fit 2 extra adults. I have suggested this idea to my ex but she doesn't like it saying she doesn't have space. I can barely afford to live in my apartment let alone have more people in my house. My son is playing the victim and convincing family and friends that I am a terrible father for not letting him stay at my house, his girlfriend recently got kicked out of her mother's house for wrecking her mom's car and that's the excuse my son and his girlfriend use to try to live in my apartment. My son is also trying to get me to give them my car for free too. What do I do?
Update1: I know I screwed up as a father and most of you are right. My fault but, I have taken all his stuff and put it in boxes, he is out right now so he didn't know. I ordered new locks so locks will be changed. He came back and saw his stuff outside and demanded to be let in and I told him no. He started banging on the door. He threatened to damage my car and then proceeded to get a rock and throw it at my car, I called the cops and they detained him. He is in jail for the night right now, his girlfriend is asking me to pay bail, how fucking stupid is she? Anyway I'm not paying bail obviously. I am taking his stuff to goodwill and selling all besides stuff he actually needs.

I am watching my brother’s too little boys while he is on a cruise. The three year old seemed a little sad today, but I chocked that up to his parents being out of town. He flew for the first time a couple days ago. And didn’t seem to have any issues.
But he just threw up twice all over the place. Luckily my mom is here helping with the care. But I helped him brush his teeth. I’ve bathed him. I’ve been sitting by him. And toddlers just are so touchy all the time. He was sitting on my lap 30 minutes prior to throwing up.
And now I’m in an utter panic that I’m going to get sick. I can’t miss work. I train new hires and we have someone starting in two days. But I know I’m going to get sick. And his brother is going to get sick. And my mom is going to get sick. And I can’t just abandon her here with two boys under 4. But I’m freaking the eff out.
Advice is helpful if you have it. Sorry for ranting.

So, this has been going on for 5 years and I'm reaching the point of explosion!!!!!
I'm (35) married to my husband (55)
He has a son (22) who has just gotten married to his wife (20). His son is a narcissist and has been that way since the day I met him. He is very talented at a number of things (motocross, golf, etc.) And he is a hard worker. By all outward appearances he's a good person and can be very kind at times.
The issue is that he is very spoiled and has always been given the best of the best. ($1,200 phones, $7,000 dirtbikes, the nicest clothes and shoes and blah blah blah)
His mother is loaded and buys him cars, clothes, coach backpacks, $400 shoes for no reason, spends $2,000+ on his birthdays and Christmases and just bows down to his every want and need
I was raised with the power getting shut off every 3 months bc my single mother struggled to keep the lights on. I shopped (and still shop) at thrift stores and I've NEVER cared about having flashy expensive THINGS. There is more to life than stuff.
Anyway... his son will always say things like "where did you get that shirt? Wish?" He will pick on me about my hobbies. Pretty much saying the things I enjoy doing are lame.
If I started talking about politics or any kind of REAL issues going on in the world he would dismiss what I'm saying and say that I'm a conspiracy theorist (meanwhile, his world revolves around tic-tok and video games)
After he got married things have gotten much worse. Keep in mind, his wife is 20 and I'm 35.
He will compare how she looks to how I look. We went on a boat trip and she wore a bathing suit while I wore shorts and a tank top. I'm not fat by any means, but I would LOVE to lose around 15lbs and have the flat little tummy I once did.
His wife is 4 inches taller than me and has huge boobs and a completely different body style. I never once compared myself to her or envied her in any way, but he will say things to me like "how much do weigh?" And then ask her how much she weighs...and then say "how do you guys look so different when your only 5-10lbs difference" he makes me so self conscious and insecure comparing me to someone who is 15 years younger than me FOR NO REASON EXCEPT TO HURT ME.
She says things to me too.
We were playing pickle ball today. First time I ever played and I was doing so-so
My team was behind and she hollered out to my team mate "do you want me to come out there and take her place" (talking about me)
If I try to have a discussion with her about anything she will find some way to argue with Mr and tell me I'm wrong and it's impossible to have any kind of real diologue with her UNLESS IT IS ABOUT HER AND HER INTERESTS
It gets worse
Me and my husband have a 4 year old daughter who was born with a cleft pallette in the roof of her mouth and she's had surgeries and is taking speech therapy and is doing great
Well, my stepson and his wife just had a baby (5 months)
My stepson (in front of like 6 people/family members) said to me "our son is perfect, what's the matter, why can't you have a perfect baby too"? THAT IS HIS FUKKIN SISTER!!!!!
I race motocross with them every weekend. It's my husband's son/family and we see them often
LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TIME WE SEE THEM ONE (OR BOTH) SAY SOMETHING CRUEL TO ME.
I'm a very encouraging person. My stepsons wife gained a lot of weight after her pregnancy and when she started losing the weight I'd tell her "you look so pretty today" or "you look great"
I have TRIED to lead by example and treat them how I want to me treated.
They NEVER tell me "good job" or say anything nice/positive to me. They feed off of hurting and picking on other people to make themselves feel better. They talk shut constantly and I'm nothing like that and don't want to be.
I smile and pretend things dont hurt me so that I don't rock the boat. I don't stand up for myself and don't even know how to.
Normally when I'm around toxic people like this I avoid them and cut them out of my life, but I'm at a loss for ideas and don't know how to move forward.
Any advice or encouragement would be most welcome. I've talked to my husband but he doesn't know how to handle it and doesn't want to talk to his son because his son picks on him too and my husband doesn't seem to care. I don't think he understands why I am so hurt/upset by it in the first place.
Mt husband always says "he was just joking" or "he didn't mean it"....THE GASLIGHTING IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent. God bless you all.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Complex-Wing7114
I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband
Originally posted to offmychest
Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: controlling behavior, threats, abusive behavior, stalking
Original Post Apr 27, 2024
Throwaway account as my husband and In-laws are follow my main. I, 29 F, have been married to my husband, 30 m, who I'll call Alex. Alex and I met in college during our freshman year. We started off as just friends, and got married seven months ago. I've gotten along with his family, but we aren't super close but we're friendly enough. The problem is that Alex has begun to make me incredibly uncomfortable.
Firstly, he's begun to ask me who I'm meeting with, where, what we plan on doing, how long every single time I leave the house without him. At first, I just thought he was being protective and a good partner just in case something happened, but then he started checking my phone after the visits, vetting and researching each of my friends as well.
He also has been pursuing me to link my bank account to his, as he's "in charge" of the finances when he was perfectly fine with keeping them separate before. We fight about it almost every day.
Finally, yesterday when he was preparing to go on a work trip for two weeks in California, he demanded I wear a tracker so he could keep and eye on me while he's gone. I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating and his family who I've spoken to about his worrying behavior just said he's being careful and protective as a good husband should. I need to gather my things together and find a way to be gone before he gets home without tipping him off.
He's always threatened that if he ever found me cheating on him he'd turn in divorce papers the same day. He keeps a filled out copy in his desk. I'm going to submit those the day I leave. But there's so much to do, bergen finding a new place to live, seeing if my job has any transfers available, packing and moving in two weeks. His return flight May 11th, so I need to move quickly. I'm posting here because I don't have any close family, and I can't risk dragging my friends into this as we share the same friends.I just needed a place to vent, and ask if anyone has any advice on the easiest and safest way to do this?
Edit: oh my god you guys are amazing! I never even thought to not use his divorce papers. I'll check for cameras before I start any packing or prepping. I may also shred his divorce papers just in case and look into getting a lawyer for myself. I'm in a no fault divorce state, that much I so remember which will help. I'll update again when I know more. The tracker he wants me to use is a small clip to put on the belt or waistband. I'll wear it unless I'm going or doing something related to me leaving. No pets yet thankfully.
Update Apr 28, 2024
So I've gotten a lot of support and helpful advice along with questions I thought I should clarify before I proceed with the update. Some asked why I'd be 'hiding' things from Alex regarding going out and who I'm meeting with. I don't, and I have nothing to hide. However when he begins to then double check everything I tell him with the other people there right down to each person I talked to and what I said. Did I send any text msgs, did I order food, how much did I eat, that's when it started to feel like I was slowly being pushed into a corner. It didn't start that bad, but gradually grew worse overtime.
All of the Reddit subs my in-law's families are part of are related gardening and diy so I highly doubt they'll see this, if so by the time they do, I'll hopefully be gone. I talked to my job and explained things to my manager. And they promised to look into openings in other states to see if they could get me into one. They'll have an update on that in three days. I trust that my bank account us secured, considering he's tried to get into it before and failed. I found one camera in the kitchen, another in the living room and one in our bedroom. As such, I've left them in place for now and done all other planning, either in the bathroom pretending I'm taking a bath.
I'm honestly staying away from the domestic violence services as my sister-in-law is unfortunately higher up in those considering she volunteers there and I have a feeling if I did show up there, they would know in a heartbeat. I can't look for apartments until I get the update from my work, but either or i'm still gonna be leaving the state. The day before I do I will be changing my number carrier and wiping my laptop and all of his electronics before I do.
I've met with 2 lawyers so far and had them look over the paperwork. My husband had prepared and both said that it did it have some clauses in it. That could have caused me some trouble down the line. What alarmed all of us close the fact that several of those clauses dealt with future children, and not as a hypothetical. Like several hair suggested I have a feeling he fully intended on getting me pregnant to keep me trapped and tied to him.
There are 3 other locations. My job could send me to and I have. As a precaution Begun looking into all 3 cities and housing in the areas. Just in case one of those, this is the one they send me to. Even if they don't have an opening that they can push me into then I will just have to quit, move and figure things out on my own. I have enough money to live and survive for a few months until I can pick up another job.
Unfortunately all of our friends are mutuals and would likely be unaware of the consequences of saying or sharing anything I do or say with my husband. I don't have any surviving close family and obviously my in laws are not a good resource to rely on. I am on my own unfortunately, other than the wonderful bonds, i've begun to make here. I will update again if I get more information or something else happens. Otherwise all update when my work gets back to me. I do plan on leaving before he returns, though. Just to make sure that i'm not anywhere near here at that time.
Update 2 Apr 30, 2024
Good news! My work has an opening I qualify for that will not only shift me across the country, but also comes with a salary increase as well. I've started telling my in laws and friends that I'm planning a surprise outing for when my husband gets back for just the two of us. This way, people don't give me odd looks if they see me out and about. I've even gone as far as asking MIL to show me his favorite recipes.
Meanwhile, I've found a moving company that while small is willing to work in a storm. The reason is in five days, we're supposed to get hit with a large storm front. I plan to shut off the breaker and say we lost power if he asks just as several people here suggested and even send him a short clip of the storm.
I will have all of my stuff moved that afternoon, and I will be flying out once the weather has cleared enough to do so. I have a lawyer who will push my divorce through, and I've filled out the necessary paperwork so that I don't have to be here for it. I'm not suing for assets or alimony and I've shredded his divorce papers as well. I've set up a cheap payphone plan through cricket until this is all said and done at which point I will find a new carrier, number and phone. This one is being wiped and left behind.
My laptop is provided by my work, and the IT department inspected it thoroughly and it was clean thankfully. No other electronic aside from my laptop and new phone will be coming with me. If alex needs to talk to me, he can do it through my lawyer. Not sure if anything else will happen, my fingers are crossed that he doesn't think anythings amiss until after I leave - and I'm not turning the breaker back on when I do. He can when he gets home. My work is covering the plane ticket, so that at least is one expense I don't have to finagle in.
Update 3 May 7, 2024
Update 3: I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband.
It's been a busy week, but I've gotten so much done. Firstly, I am now out of the house and am currently in a hotel while I look for an apartment. It's a big city, bustling with people no matter where you look. We had a pretty bad storm system hit back home, that actually lasted two days. High winds, thunder, lightning and even hail everywhere. I didn't take much from the house, my documents, clothes and important sentimental items. I left all of the furniture and electronics behind. I cleaned the house top to bottom and took pictures on my phone so he couldn't claim I damaged anything when I left.
My lawyer has already started divorce proceedings, and my husband will be served on the 8th. His plane is due to land early morning, and the sheriff will be there at the house waiting for him. He is very much about public appearances and reputation. My lawyer will be calling him as well to inform him that I am more than willing to air out everything to the public about his actions if it means securing my freedom from him. I will go to court as long as I must to get this pushed through.
I haven't told our friends or his in-laws yet, I will do that while he is on the flight to prevent him from getting wind of it before he's handed the divorce papers. I will be calling around and explaining why we're getting divorced, to try and prevent him from twisting this into somehow being my fault. I don't want him trying to claim I had an affair or something so I want to get the truth out before he can twist this.
I'm... doing okay. I'm tired, but yet I feel almost jittery and off-kilter. I keep looking over my shoulder and monitoring what I say even when I don't really need to anymore. Hopefully that will fade soon. My work is covering the cost of the hotel, and I'm working on getting my other things in order. I also need to find a new GP as I want to get a full test just to make sure everything is okay. I don't know when my next update will be, probably when the divorce papers are filed or if we have to go to court to push them through. I will try to keep my head up, but it feels like I'm in a whirlwind or something with so many things to do and think about. I kinda thought it would be easier once I got out of the house but while the fear is smaller, somehow the number of tasks only seems to have grown.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I currently live in a state where it is RAMPANT with pitbulls and bully breed mixes everywhere. Specifically in my “no pitbulls allowed” apartment complex. These owners get by with forged esa papers and some wear those cheapy service dog vests and it INFURIATES ME! There have been a couple that genuinely concern me and I have been debating reporting it.
So, there is a girl on my floor she’s about 5”3’ and in her 20’s who owns this black pitbull with evil piercing blue eyes. It genuinely is creepy how it watches you with stone cold eyes full of intent. Every time I have seen her dog when I walk to the elevator on our floor, she has to full body strangle her dog and tries to shield its eyes while shouting, “HURRY RUN GO NOW!” As it is snarling and screeching trying to claw its way to me and my adorable floofy husky. It’s even done this when it was JUST ME! When I have even walked past her door she’s opened it at the same time and was about to lock her door and saw me and quickly swooped her dog back inside and locked the door while I hear snarling behind it.
Can I report this or would I need something to happen?? I just hate that my dog could get attacked by this evil monster dog who has to be strangled to the floor to not get us!
There was also an attack on this sweet sleeping elderly dog that was Sun-bathing, and (I suspect this same pitbull because it looked like the pit and its owner in the video I was shown) had been off leash, and it bust the patio gate down where the elderly pup was snoozing and began to rip its throat open and my neighbors showed me the video and said they didn’t report it because the girl was sorry and offered to pay! Like what in the world that dog needs removed off the property!
How should I go about reporting this? I have no proof the attack on my neighbors happened but have had multiple interactions with the dog snarling and the owner telling me to run away quickly!

So, I (39f) get a text from my husband (38m) at 12:47 pm asking me if I'm alright because I was cleaning more aggressively than he was comfortable with and he doesn't know how requests of me will be taken...okay, so I had a lot of coffee and I was moving fast so I could finish what I started and get to some schoolwork done online. I got how he could think I was upset somehow, I guess. I replied that I had stuff to do and I was fine. He sends me another text saying he's in a lot of pain (he had surgery last week) and he wanted to know if I'd ask the doctor for a refill of his pain meds.
(He has had issues with alcohol, drugs, and narcotics in the past. He was trying to be sensitive because when he was getting prepared for surgery, he let me know they were going to give him narcotics and the reason I left him before a couple times was when he was on something and treating me like crap. We spoke about it and I thought we'd be okay after.)
I replied asking him if he called his doctor already to see if something could be going on. A couple hours later I'm taking a bath and ask if he spoke to the office. I getting ready to pick my kid up and I was heading toward the pharmacy. It's a 45 minute drive, ordinarily. I send him another text after I get the kid to see if maybe he had a script filled and I could pick it up. I didn't get any replies. I ask if he's feeling some kind of way and ignoring me, or if I'm imagining it. Nothing. So I call him. He says he didn't reply because he didn't like that I replied to his question with a question. I told him we were on our way home and drove home.
So I have another unrelated issue to talk to him about and I send him a text letting him know that I'm having an issue, but I can't talk to him about it because I don't feel like he's a safe place for me to talk. We've had issues when we argued in the past and I've started trying to express myself in this way to let him know I'm struggling without picking a fight. So he knows that something is going on and I'm trying to work through it on my own, especially in the face of my not feeling like I will be heard if I speak to him about it.
We go back and forth for a while and eventually, I retired to the bathroom to decompress, brush my teeth, wash my face, do some stretches and zone out listening to a podcast. He comes in the bathroom without warning, I assumed cuz he was flushing his stuff from surgery, so I left. Folded a load of laundry and fixed up a new load. Came back to my computer to get started on schoolwork again, and get a text from him. I'm in the middle of responding and he closes the door and starts coming toward me like he was gonna talk. I got up and left the house. We went back and forth a little more in text messages.
He's trying to blame this whole ordeal on me like I got myself worked up over nothing and I'm telling him I was fine until he said he'd been ignoring me for hours. Then I had an unrelated issue that I was gonna work through myself and I didn't want to talk. Then he tried to force the issue to talk. I tell him I've repeatedly told him to back off and let him know what was going on with me once there really was an issue.
He sends me another text saying it's funny and cute when I storm off angry. I replied letting him know that I wasn't leaving out of anger, it was fear. (And perhaps, I realized after the fact, I should have elaborated on that a bit to explain that I was afraid of my own reaction not being appropriate for the environment with the kids home and me being upset that he was trying to force a conversation that I told him I wasn't up for). He gives some sarcastic replies to that and I stopped texting back. I left the house to grab some beers and I'm sitting in my car listening to a podcast, drinking my damned beers in peace.
So, my question is this...am I the asshole here? I feel like I responded to his initial messages well and tried to keep judgement about the pills out of it. Being concerned that he's in pain. Wondering if this should be expected days after surgery. Still don't know, because he thought I was salty about the whole thing before he even sent his first text and treated me just like I was. Then picked a fight with me and tried to blame me for it. And then...tells me I'm funny when I'm mad. Which would be fine, except this was not the time or place to say that and it felt like he was laughing at me and not taking me seriously.
Before I get the responses saying this is a bad relationship or indicates some fundamental failure of my marriage and I should just leave him...please take a step back and imagine for a moment that this is "get-over-able"...and then let me know how you think either of us could have handled it better. I know my relationship is silly sometimes, but it's my mess and I'm working on cleaning it up. It takes time. How can I improve things in the future?
TL;DR my husband thought I was gonna be upset that he wanted pain meds even though he has had issues with them in the past and left me hanging for hours playing video games. Then picked a fight with me and when I told him I was done talking, he kept it going until he disrespected me by saying I was cute when I was mad.

Already posted this is shrooms but thought I would post here as well. This is very important: I DO NOT CONDONE THE USE OF SUBSTANCES this is for educational purposes only
A little backstory, I’m 19M and have stuttered all my life. I’m not a very self conscious person but stuttering is my kryptonite. When I say I stutter I don’t mean I trip up on words hear and there I mean nearly every word I say can take me anywhere from a second to 30 seconds if I’m really having a bad block. A good portion of my life revolves around my stuttering. It dictates anything from my major in college to even the food I eat. It makes me feel less than human and is stopping me from being the person I want to be, at least that’s what it feels like. Through the years I have naively taken substances when I was far too young to both experiment and suppress the anxieties caused/formed by my stutter. Some of the substances were prescribed like Xanax and adderall while others I took to recreationally like MDMA, MDA, shrooms, LSD, alcohol, weed and some other more niche compounds. Most of there were done at wayyy to young of an age and I wouldn’t doubt it some of these causes lasting side effects even the LSD and shrooms which are physically safe. I stopped taking those drugs besides weed and alcohol until this year. (Sorry for the long backstory started rambling)
Fast forward to now me and three of my friends went on a climbing road trip with the first destination on our trip being Zion. We planned to take a 1/8 of GT each besides for my one friend who was going to take 2.5 since it was his first time. We took them on an empty stomach and started walking to our pre planned spot. They start hitting and fast, I have a decent bit of experience taking shrooms and have taken up to 5g with a good bit of experience of taking around 1/8 but these hit me like a train. We settle down in our spot when my friend who’s first time it was doing shrooms takes off with no shoes on in Zion national park without saying a word. It took us a while to realize because prior to taking off he was chilling in a dead tree near by and thought he needed some alone time. Anyways the three of us that are left start getting worried and we don’t know what to do. My one friend starts looping, saying “where’s __” over and over again but unfortunately repeating his name doesn’t summon him. At this point we are stopping balls and have no clue what to do but wait and hope he returns. I tried to calm him down saying he will be fine but honestly I wasn’t sure but at the time we couldn’t come up with a plan to find him (we did go looking for him but we were looping so hard there was no chance). This caused a lot of subtle anxiety for the first part of our trip with my one friend ever minute or so saying “where’s __” still. Our lost friend eventually appears out of the brush looking like a 6” 3’ hobbit it was quite a sight. I was scaring thinking he was off having a horrible trip or got hurt but the first thing he says is I quote “I know everything” to which I laughed and though to myself I have had that thought before this kid is tripping balls. Anyways we were all very relived but he tried to leave again saying he was feeling better away from the group which I get we probably weren’t giving off the best vide at that point but we didn’t want to stress over losing his again so I decided to tag along. This is where the stuttering backstory comes in, sorry again for the long post I wasn’t expecting to give a full trip report but here we are.
I was sitting with him on a tree nearby when we started taking about what he had just experienced/ is experiencing. It was very broken English but he was saying how we are all one and exclaimed how beautiful the whole experience had been and started asking me question about my trip and past trips. We somehow got to the topic of anxiety and the cause of it. When I started thinking about it I started to have very basic but meaningful realizations about my anxiety surrounding my stutter. I started speaking to my friend and rarely stuttering and even when I did, I didn’t care one bit, the anxiety I usually feel in the back of my throat wasn’t there and I could speak for the first time in my life. The whole we are all one mind set along with the heavy ego dissolution made me not care about if I stuttered or not it was beautiful. I felt like I could talk to anyone and not have the weight of my stutter glooming over me. I realized they are just people and their judgment (if they even are judging because the assumption that they are judging me is egotistical in a way since I am assuming they care about me enough to judge) shouldn’t effect the way I carry out my life and stop me from being happy. I also thought I am the one causing this anxiety for myself and all of this worry is for nothing since why be shameful about something I can’t change. I would always try to tell myself these things in my day to day life but I never really felt it. When I was tripping I was able to feel these thought and look at them in a new perspective I have never been able to in the past. No amount of alcohol, Xanax, MDMA or any other drug for that matter could have shown me that. During the trip I though I had cured my stutting even telling me friend I think I won’t be stuttering any more after this. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case but now I know it’s possible to reach that point, I feel I should have done a better job integrating my trip but there is still time and I plan to work on it. Maybe I say fuck it and pull a Paul stamets instead ha no jk. Anyways that’s a long story long sorry it was so drawn out and all over the place this wasn’t even the full trip but some of the more important bits. Hope you got something out of this but it was more of a vent because as one would image verbally telling a story to someone feels impossible with a stutter so it feels good get it out somehow.

Hi guys! I was inspired by the posts and the legit advices I read here, so I thought I should also share my story.
I got pregnant at 17 (now I'm 34) and my ex was 19 that time. I was about to turn 18 when I told my family and kahit almost prepared na lahat for my 18th bday, I chose to not have a big party and asked mom if I can just use the money for my birth. We were both students by then, he took Accountancy and I took Tourism. Since the term just started and I just enrolled, mom asked me to just finish the term. Yet, ex needs to find work ASAP because that's the right thing to do.
Fast forward, as an 18 yo pregnant teenager, of course it was high risk. Got admitted to a private hospital and mom took care of all the bills. Ex's salary is only enough to cover for my daily needs (cravings, vits, baby things, etc). Don't get me wrong, I am not the maluho at maselan type of preggy. He continued with work and I took care of my baby.
Fast fast forward. I live in QC and he's from Pque. It's literally north to south travel and he once asked if we can schedule staying home for a week then south (though he works in Q.Ave) palit palit kumbaga. His father gave him a car though, so I agreed kasi it's not much of a hassle for the baby naman since may car. That was the setup. Maybe he's just homesick and wants to be with his family kahit sya mahirapan everyday papasok. The first few weeks went fine until one day, I found out he's cheating. Mind you, not only 1 sidechick, but 3.
This was way back keypad phone days and I was bothered by the series of text msgs na naririnig ko sa phone nya. No passcodes, everything manual. He's taking a bath then, and I felt the urge na pakialaman yung phone. I don't normally do that, but it felt like GO GIRL YOU GOTTA CHECK IT TODAY. Then lo and behold, 1 girl was telling him she cooked their lunch. The other one was asking, sabay ba sila papasok. The other one is nagtatampo kasi di narereplyan. I felt betrayed of course, but remained calm (i'm proud cos when this happened I am under PPD). It wasn't easy. I just told him, "Bilisan mo na maligo at hinihintay ka ng 3 babae mo!", then never said anything about it.
I need to have a job so I can break up with him. I have my family to help me start again and I am positive I don't need his help. So I plotted the plan, that's to apply somewhere in Makati. Because of the cold shoulder, he then finally realized what I'm doing and became aggressive. For some reason, parang gusto nya ibalik ang dati, but for me it's a never. I believe in HE DID IT ONCE, HE'LL DO IT AGAIN type. I managed to get a job and escaped from the hell hole.
This is getting longer so here are the highlights: 1. When mom asked to meet his mom about the pregnancy, Tita said "So anong gagawin natin dyan?, which made my mom angry. She's insinuating that we should get the baby aborted. She even said "Sinira mo naman buhay ng anak ko.", like he's the girl in our relationship and I don't have a future waiting. Hence, my mom don't like his family.

1. I was battered when he found out I had a bf at work (technically we broke up from the day he cheated). I had to have sx with him para lang makaalis ng bahay every day. With that, I got pregnant with my 2nd child. This was technically, RPE, but I don't want to see it that way cos my baby was a blessing.
   
2. When we separated, he took my eldest and told me "BUHAYIN MO MAG ISA ANAK MO, AKIN TONG ISA". This means maghahati kami sa mga bata at wala ng pakialamanan. He even shoved to my face na di ko kaya bumuhay ng bata dahil wala ako matinong work.
   
3. I borrowed my eldest on my bday and never talked to them again. Why? Go, sue me. I am the mom. From then on, I took care of everything.
   

2024, my kids are now 15 and 13 years old. They're now at the age kung san they want to know what really happened. Growing up, I never told them the story, never even brainwashed them against their dad, I am not raised like that. I allowed his absence to tell the truth. My 13yo did a research, found her tita's and tito's in Facebook, asked me if she can message them. I said go ahead, but never ask anything from them. While my 15yo just wants to move forward with her life. This is becoming an issue with my kids kasi di sila magkasundo kung tatahimik ba or magpapakilala.
In all honesty, I want to see my ex again. I wanted to show him where I'm at, kung pano ko pinalaki mga anak ko ng wala sya, how beautiful and well mannered they are. And of course, I want to see how they will react. I am now working at a BPO for 6yrs, also owns a clothing business. Di pa rin ako mayaman, but I managed to achieve everything over the yrs as a single mom. Ito na yung sinabihan nya dati na DI MO MABUBUHAY MGA ANAK MO. I wanna shove this to his face.
I did my research too, found out he's in UK. Living a life he don't deserve. He abandoned my kids. He ignored me once when I asked help cos my bunso had dengue. Well, here's where I need the advice.

1. Should I keep silent and let things be? Pigilan yung bunso ko na hagilapin sya?
2. Do something and file a case for child support at kunin kung ano ang dapat matagal ng nabigay sa mga bata?

My 15yo wants peace, my 13yo wants justice. What should I do? Where to start?

Hi guys! I was inspired by the posts and the legit advices I read here, so I thought I should also share my story.
I got pregnant at 17 (now I'm 34) and my ex was 19 that time. I was about to turn 18 when I told my family and kahit almost prepared na lahat for my 18th bday, I chose to not have a big party and asked mom if I can just use the money for my birth. We were both students by then, he took Accountancy and I took Tourism. Since the term just started and I just enrolled, mom asked me to just finish the term. Yet, ex needs to find work ASAP because that's the right thing to do.
Fast forward, as an 18 yo pregnant teenager, of course it was high risk. Got admitted to a private hospital and mom took care of all the bills. Ex's salary is only enough to cover for my daily needs (cravings, vits, baby things, etc). Don't get me wrong, I am not the maluho at maselan type of preggy. He continued with work and I took care of my baby.
Fast fast forward. I live in QC and he's from Pque. It's literally north to south travel and he once asked if we can schedule staying home for a week then south (though he works in Q.Ave) palit palit kumbaga. His father gave him a car though, so I agreed kasi it's not much of a hassle for the baby naman since may car. That was the setup. Maybe he's just homesick and wants to be with his family kahit sya mahirapan everyday papasok. The first few weeks went fine until one day, I found out he's cheating. Mind you, not only 1 sidechick, but 3.
This was way back keypad phone days and I was bothered by the series of text msgs na naririnig ko sa phone nya. No passcodes, everything manual. He's taking a bath then, and I felt the urge na pakialaman yung phone. I don't normally do that, but it felt like GO GIRL YOU GOTTA CHECK IT TODAY. Then lo and behold, 1 girl was telling him she cooked their lunch. The other one was asking, sabay ba sila papasok. The other one is nagtatampo kasi di narereplyan. I felt betrayed of course, but remained calm (i'm proud cos when this happened I am under PPD). It wasn't easy. I just told him, "Bilisan mo na maligo at hinihintay ka ng 3 babae mo!", then never said anything about it.
I need to have a job so I can break up with him. I have my family to help me start again and I am positive I don't need his help. So I plotted the plan, that's to apply somewhere in Makati. Because of the cold shoulder, he then finally realized what I'm doing and became aggressive. For some reason, parang gusto nya ibalik ang dati, but for me it's a never. I believe in HE DID IT ONCE, HE'LL DO IT AGAIN type. I managed to get a job and escaped from the hell hole.
This is getting longer so here are the highlights: 1. When mom asked to meet his mom about the pregnancy, Tita said "So anong gagawin natin dyan?, which made my mom angry. She's insinuating that we should get the baby aborted. She even said "Sinira mo naman buhay ng anak ko.", like he's the girl in our relationship and I don't have a future waiting. Hence, my mom don't like his family.

1. I was battered when he found out I had a bf at work (technically we broke up from the day he cheated). I had to have sx with him para lang makaalis ng bahay every day. With that, I got pregnant with my 2nd child. This was technically, RPE, but I don't want to see it that way cos my baby was a blessing.
   
2. When we separated, he took my eldest and told me "BUHAYIN MO MAG ISA ANAK MO, AKIN TONG ISA". This means maghahati kami sa mga bata at wala ng pakialamanan. He even shoved to my face na di ko kaya bumuhay ng bata dahil wala ako matinong work.
   
3. I borrowed my eldest on my bday and never talked to them again. Why? Go, sue me. I am the mom. From then on, I took care of everything.
   

2024, my kids are now 15 and 13 years old. They're now at the age kung san they want to know what really happened. Growing up, I never told them the story, never even brainwashed them against their dad, I am not raised like that. I allowed his absence to tell the truth. My 13yo did a research, found her tita's and tito's in Facebook, asked me if she can message them. I said go ahead, but never ask anything from them. While my 15yo just wants to move forward with her life. This is becoming an issue with my kids kasi di sila magkasundo kung tatahimik ba or magpapakilala.
In all honesty, I want to see my ex again. I wanted to show him where I'm at, kung pano ko pinalaki mga anak ko ng wala sya, how beautiful and well mannered they are. And of course, I want to see how they will react. I am now working at a BPO for 6yrs, also owns a clothing business. Di pa rin ako mayaman, but I managed to achieve everything over the yrs as a single mom. Ito na yung sinabihan nya dati na DI MO MABUBUHAY MGA ANAK MO. I wanna shove this to his face.
I did my research too, found out he's in UK. Living a life he don't deserve. He abandoned my kids. He ignored me once when I asked help cos my bunso had dengue. Well, here's where I need the advice.

1. Should I keep silent and let things be? Pigilan yung bunso ko na hagilapin sya?
2. Do something and file a case for child support at kunin kung ano ang dapat matagal ng nabigay sa mga bata?

My 15yo wants peace, my 13yo wants justice. What should I do? Where to start?

I have owned my house for about 5 years. My girlfriend, who I have been dating for 4 years, moved in last September. We are a quiet couple, we do not do much. We work, come home and hang out. Late January of this year she asked if her dad, coming from Korea, could stay for a month in my spare bedroom. She told me in the past he comes, works a bit and goes back to Korea. I told her it was fine and he did not have to pay anything while he was staying here. He showed up a few days later and he was very appreciative. That was 4 months ago… since then he has probably worked a 2 weeks in total. All he does is watch tv all day in the spare room or takes over the living room with friends he has here in the US. I asked my girlfriend does he plan on staying here or finding a job and a place to stay. She just says she doesn’t know (I’m assuming she’s afraid to ask). I’m to the point where I’m uncomfortable being in my own home and at times when I have to get ready for work in the morning he senses I’m up and jumps straight to the shower (I have a 1 and 1/2 bath). Tomorrow, after work I plan on telling her if he doesn’t at least try he needs to go stay with one of the MANY friends he has

***Lily*** “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run off when I did. I should’ve known you would have my best interests at heart,” I whisper.
“I… I don’t have a heart…” He chuckles meekly.
I chuckle too and respond, “Still, you’re as generous as you are funny. Strong as you are quick. And clever as you are funny. As annoying as it can be sometimes.”
I laugh again. After a moment, I can feel the awkwardness lift as he chuckled then started to move his arms. Suddenly he hugs me back, tightly. Something wet ran down my cheek and I hear him murmur something and ask, “Did you say something?”
“What? No.” He says. He then pushes me back as he says, “Oh crap! We forgot to get you leather armor!”
“Now, now dearie. Believe it or not, we actually took care of it while you were running around looking for her.” Silkie says coming up towards us down the stairs.
“Oh. How did you…” he starts to say as he looks towards me. He then stops and stares at me for a minute. “What happened to your hair?” He asks.
“Oh! This? Believe it or not, this is my original hair color. Do you… do you like it?” I ask back.
“I do. It really is captivating.” He says, putting his hat back on.
I smile. Afterwards, we turn towards the voice that yells, “Yargh! All done. Let’s see how it fits now, yargh.”
It’s Mr. Doe holding the leather armor from before. “That was fast.” Silkie says.
“Yargh. I’ve done me fair share of tanning. This be nothing to a mighty man of the sea, yargh.” He says.
I get up and go over to try them on again.
“Hey John. You got here fast. Did you lock up shop already?” Wabbajack asks him.
“Lock? Why would I lock up me shop, yargh.” He answers.
There is a moment of silence at that statement.
“You’re joking. Right?” Wabbajack asks.
After I am done putting on the leather gloves, shin-guards, and breastplate, I notice that the gloves and shin-guards fit better, and the breastplate conforms a lot better to my shape than before too. “Wow, this is a lot better!” I announce.
“Wow, that is an impressive refit.” Silkie adds.
“Refit? From who?” Wabbajack asks.
“That was Iris’s old assassin armor.” Silkie answers.
Wabbajack looks back at the armor for a minute. Afterwards, he just says, “Impressive refit.”
I then to puff my face in annoyance.
Silkie looks back at Mr. John Doe and asks, “I gotta say, your skills with leather is astonishing but, I don’t think that you quite have what it takes to run your Own business. What do you say you come work for us? Open up your shop here? That way, you can focus on your leatherworks and we can handle your business side of things.”
He takes a puff of his corn-cob pipe and says, “Yargh, well. That would be a lot more fun for me too, yargh. Mayhaps…” He then shakes his head as he says, “Yargh, I can’t. I already have a shop. I can’t abandon it, yargh.”
At that point, a ball of eyeballs with a funny hat float towards him. It then says, “Observer 2-5-6-9 reporting. You are Mr. John Doe, correct?”
“Yargh, that be I. Who’s asking?” Mr. Doe responds.
“Observer 2-5-6-9. I regret to inform you that your store, “The Blubbering Walrus”, has been ransacked and looted. All items, including the boards that made the structure, were taken. We apologize for your loss. Would you like to make a report?” it answers in an almost robotic tone.
“Yargh! What! Me entire store is gone!” Mr. Doe exclaims.
What did you expect? You left the store unsupervised and unlocked. Still, it Is kinda surprising to hear that they took the Structure as well.
“Yes. Unfortunately, none of your items, or building, were insured by the Dimensional Union of Multiplying Basic Opportunities, so you will not be compensated for the loss of any of your stock. We wish you luck in your future endeavors.” It says as it floats towards me.
“Observer 2-5-6-9, reporting. Are you Lily Extravagund?” it then asks me.
“Um, yes?” I answer.
“I regret to inform you that your picnic basket was stolen in the recent raid on the “Blubbering Walrus”. Unfortunately, none of your items were insured by the Dimensional Union of Multiplying Basic Opportunities, so you will not be compensated for the loss. We apologize and wish you luck in your future endeavers.” It then floats away.
“Okay… that was interesting.” I say.
“You might want to reconsider her offer.” Wabbajack says.
“Yargh, business is hard. Very well madame. If you really think me works are worthy, I’ll reopen the Blubbering Walrus here. Although, I will need me own tools, yargh.” He says, offering his hand.
“That’s all well and good but, unfortunately, I am not the person to decide that. That would be up to Iris.” Silkie says, crossing two of her arms and putting one against her cheek and the other on her hip.
“Who? Yargh.” He asks.
“My sis.” Wabbajack says.
“Yargh! That be a surprise. Any advice?” Mr. Doe asks Wabbajack.
As helpful as ever, Wabbajack just shrugs. He then goes, “OH! Buffalo wings! She loves those.”
Silence.
“Don’t worry dear, I’ll put in a good word for you.” Silkie says. “Go ahead and wait down here while I go talk to her.” She says as she goes back up the stairs.
“Looks like you’re on the fast track to being part of the family John.” Wabbajack mentions, offering his hand.
Mr. Doe takes a puff and takes it. They then perform a vigorous shake. He then takes another puff and goes back to the cafeteria.
Wabbajack looks back towards me and asks, “Well. Take two, are you ready to try getting a familiar?”
I adjust all my new gear. From my mask and emblem to my still-empty quiver, all the way to my new shin-guards. Making sure that it’s comfortable. I then let out a chuckle. Wabbajack asks, “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. I’m just starting to feel like a Real adventurer.” I answer.
He laughs. I then let out a laugh as well.
I then skip towards the door. As I am skipping, I look over my shoulder and say, “Come on! We still got to head to Mogsten’s!”
He adjusts his hat and says, “Coming!” He then starts walking behind me and says, “Hey! Shouldn’t You be following Me?”
I chuckle as I say, “Well then, move faster!”
I hear him chuckle as he immediately catches up to me.
We open the door and head on out back to Mogsten’s. I stay close to Wabbajack so not to get lost again. I eventually look back up to the sky, between the clouds and the flying creatures with and without cities on their back. It’s all so crazy. I feel more alive than I have felt in, well, ever. A month ago, I would have laughed someone out of town if they had told me a place like this existed. Now, I can’t help but imagine what else is out there. There must be So much if Wabbajack, with how much he has seen and done, if he still gets surprised every now and again. Magic is real, and it is Improved with science. A thought occurs however so I ask, “Hey, is there more than what’s here or is there other countries or whatever they might be called?”
He puts a finger to his chin and answers, “Well, it goes on forever. It’s all Spiritopia but there are different cultures depending how far out you go. Up is typically for the people who enjoy flying as opposed to walking and down is for the people who prefer something overhead at all times, like molemen, certain kinds of vampires, and some reptile people. The list goes on.” He then points to the right and says, “If I’m not turned around again, that should be towards the oceanic district, for the ones who enjoy or need to be moisturized at all times. The other way is the forest district where people who enjoy that kind of place. Personally, I have thought about a treehouse myself. Each kind of district offers unique kinds of goods but, the city district, the place that we are at now, offers goods from all of them but it’s more generalized. The forest district offers some unique fruits and poisons that aren’t sold here for example. But, unless you are looking for something incredibly specific, you should be able to find it here.”
“Wow… this place goes on forever huh?” I say amazed. I then ask, “What about sandy areas? Are there species who need that kind of environment?”
He shrugs and says, “Well, before you get to the oceanic district, there is quite a bit of sand. Not to mention, sand bathing is surprisingly popular so there are businesses here that offer that service. But, not exactly popular material to build on. Some people like to go camping there however.”
It’s like a veritable playground. I ask another question, “Now that I think about it, was this place always like this or were there people who cultivated it like this?”
He tilts his head as he answers, “Well, that’s the thing with certain dimensions. Some just are. This is a perfect example of that kind of place. There is no history, no records, or no previous involvement. This place was just paved and ready for the first group of people who came by. Although, what was weird, even by my standards, was that there were Detailed instructions on how to cultivate All this. That is the only time that had Ever happened AND people following it.”
“Wait. Instructions? So… Someone left it?” I ask.
“Well, yes. Someone had to. The problem is, there was no traces on it whatsoever. It’s like it came with the dimension.” He answers, pointing a finger in the air.
“And that doesn’t happen often?” I ask as well.
“Well, the instructions part is actually pretty common. But it was discovered by a group of people with the diversity and skill that were willing to follow it. That. That takes planning of an extraordinary scale. Most people, even with the instructions, just ignore it and start doing their own thing. Which usually causes problems down the road. Hubs like this are rare admittedly. Especially as free as it is.” He answers again, this time scratching his head.
“So, is Spiritopia one of a kind?” I ask.
“As far as I know but, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was another similar to it however.” He says, as he walks normally again.
I look forward to try and process all this stuff but, as I do, I see Mogsten’s sign over his tent.
Before we walk in, I stop Wabbajack.
“Hmm? Don’t tell me your having doubts now, are you?” he asks.
I shake my head and say, “I Have to know something.”
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Is chewed gum really an ingredient in certain things?” I ask.
He lets out a laugh as he answers, “Surprisingly. The fact that they are pre-chewed make it easier to get samples from certain creatures. For example, would you rather get venom directly from a snake or trick it with some gum and extract it that way?”
“I guess that is a possibility…” I say.
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s Definitely not as concentrated as pure extract but, it’s usually good enough for moderate level stuff.” He explains.
We stand there for a minute. He then asks, “Was that all?”
I snap out of it and say, “Oh! Yes. Let’s do this!” I then march right through the flap towards the surprisingly large inside.
As we enter, we see Mogsten, in full on bit mode, with a customer. Looks like a fishman.
“Yes. It is quite a rare piece. I don’t see how I could sell it for anything less than, say, a thousand currency?” I hear him say.
“A thousand! Forget that! I would buy it for twenty currency.” The fishman says.
“But sir, giant’s horns are indeed rare. Not to mention to find one willing to give it up is even More difficult. I don’t know when I would ever get another one! Nine hundred fifty.” Mogsten states.
“Ha! Nine hundred fifty? Dude, this shop is terrible! If you don’t want me to spread the word around that you rip off your customers with absurd prices Gnome!” He pauses and grabs the horn. He then says, “Then I guess the price on this is free. Ha!”
“Actually, nine hundred fifty is a pretty fair price for a giant’s horn.” Wabbajack points out.
“And who asked…” he starts to say as he turns around. He then sees Wabbajack and panics “A-a-a-a. You! Crap! Look, don’t kill me man! Look, I’ll give you the horn! Just, don’t hurt me!”
“Umm, that horn isn’t yours though. You haven’t paid Mr. Mogsten for it yet.” I point out.
“Shut up you brat! I ain’t talking to you! Besides, he’s a Gnome. What’s he gonna do? Throw rocks at me?” the fishman says.
Wabbajack steps towards him and he just falls backwards. Before the fishman can even mouth whatever he wants to say, Wabbajack says, “One, this “brat” is a very good friend of mine. Two, gnome or not, you don’t just take whatever products you want just because you feel like it. Three, that gnome could easily kill you in any number of ways. And four, you won’t make any friends if you continue being as rude as you have been.”
I see a puddle appear on the floor and some gasping. He then just falls flat. He looks like he is still breathing.
[First] [Previous]

The garage door shut with a groan behind us, closing us in the gloom of the single bulb hanging over the car.
Mother took a drag off her cigarette and sighed as she exhaled, the smoke filled the cabin of the Ford and stung my eyes.
“You really disappointed me today, Julianne," she tapped her cigarette in the ashtray below the dash, "you embarrassed me in front of the other mothers at the Ice Cream Social, shoveling down seconds and thirds like a pig. I thought I raised you better than that.”
She took another drag, daintily holding the cigarette between her perfectly manicured fingers.
“I'm going to have to tell your brother about this," she continued, “he'll have to come up with a punishment fit for a pig."
I felt my stomach drop. My kid brother, Thomas, was only six, but could be exceptionally cruel. Mother seemed to encourage him and was deferring to him more and more frequently for how the house was run, especially concerning my upbringing.
"Mother, please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I'm sorry I was a pig and ate so much ice cream. I promise I won't do it again, I'll never eat any ice cream again," I was pleading with stone, unyielding.
“Hush your mouth. Go to your room and wait for Thomas," she put out the cigarette and got out of the car, I had no choice but to follow.
It felt like walking to the gallows as I stepped inside the house and headed towards the stairs to go to my room. Thomas had grown fond recently of physical punishment, he obviously delighted in Mother whipping me with a belt or, recently, Mother had allowed him to start beating me with a wooden spoon. He would squeal and giggle like a normal child watching bubbles in the wind while I screamed. I was dreading whatever was going to happen tonight, I chastised myself for eating that ice cream, I should have known she would show up. My sins were always laid bare.
Down the hall, I could hear Thomas watching television in the den. I only got to watch TV for half an hour on Saturday morning and new episodes of Happy Days with Mother and Thomas. Thomas got to watch all the TV he wanted. He could listen to the radio and turntable as much as he wanted, as loud as he wanted. Thomas had an entire room just for his toys.
I entered my bedroom, it was a space I occupied, but it didn't feel like mine. Mother kept it spartan, white walls and white bedspread. A crucifix over the bed and a painting of Jesus over the door. I had my desk and chair and a dresser with some of the porcelain dolls Daddy gave me before he died that Mother let me keep. That was it.
I placed my book bag down and sat on my bed, waiting for Thomas. It was a while, sitting there with nothing but my own thoughts and staring at the open door. I felt humiliated, I was almost thirteen and my entire life was dictated by my brother. Mother kept the house in constant lockdown to keep Thomas a secret. No outsiders were allowed in. I couldn't have friends because she was afraid I would mention him or sneak a friend in to gawk at my brother and tease him for being different.
I would never make fun of him, I was terrified of him. Terrified of what he was and what he was becoming.
Eventually I heard his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and I felt my heart start beating faster and my palms began to sweat. I kneaded my skirt in my hands, trying to calm myself and dry my palms. His slow arrhythmic footsteps came down the hall and I watched him as he entered the room.
I couldn't help but internally recoil at his appearance, even though I'd known him since he was born, I could never adjust to how unnatural he appeared. Thomas had been born at home and had never seen a doctor, but he was obviously unwell.
He was six years old and was barely over two feet tall, but very squat and wide. His skin was thick and gray, the whites of his beady eyes were yellow and his hair was wispy and white like an old man's, spreading out like a halo around his gargoyle face. A slight odor of decomposition hung about him, it reminded me faintly of garbage cans on a hot summer day. I hated when Mother made me help him with a bath, his skin felt like old brittle leather that flaked onto my clothes in gray flecks. His body was dense like concrete, I could barely lift him into the tub. Picking him up forced his hair into my face where that smell of rot would fill my nose, causing me to gag, silently, so as not to offend him and draw any ire from him or Mother.
Today, Thomas was wearing bib overalls with a red and green striped sweater underneath, reminding me of a grotesque doll.
“Mama says you acted like a piggy today at the ice cream social,” he spoke up to me in his unsettlingly high pitched, yet raspy voice, like a child that smoked as much as Mother, "you need to come down for dinner right now for your punishment for embarrassing Mama."
He turned and walked back down the stairs and I had no choice but to follow his toddling form downstairs to the dining table. We entered the kitchen and the table was placed with two settings. Mother was already seated and Thomas clambered up into his booster seat at his normal spot next to Mother. She took a drag off her cigarette and motioned vaguely to the floor without even looking at me.
Neatly situated on the linoleum was my dinner, not on a plate, but directly on the floor. A pork chop, scoop of mashed potatoes, and a small pile of peas. No utensils, either.
Thomas giggled with glee upon seeing my face.
“You have Mama's permission now to eat like a piggy, now. No hands! Piggies just use their face!” He stood up in his chair and reached out for Mother’s ash tray and flung it out over my meal, peppering my dinner with cigarette ash and butts.
"Oops! Piggies don't mind trash though, do they, Mama?” he giggled and the sound filled me with rage.
"No, they don't,” Mother replied coolly while maneuvering her ashtray back in place and carefully putting out her cigarette before saying prayer.
As angry as I was, I got down on my hands and knees and did my best at eating what I could without using my hands. I knew if I refused, it would be far worse. The whole meal, Thomas made pig noises and would reach down and poke me with his fork, making comments about what a fat piggy I was and how he wished he could roast and eat me. I doubted Mother would even object if he actually did kill me and eat me.
Gagging my way through another bite of ashy pork chop, I felt a warm splat over my head and heard Thomas giggling. I reached up and felt he had dumped mashed potatoes into my hair.
Choking down tears, I asked Mother if I could clean the floor and bathe. She rolled her eyes and excused me to clear the table for them as well while she changed Thomas into his pajamas. Picking him up, she walked out of the room and Thomas stuck his putrid little purple tongue out at me before they made it out the kitchen door.
I silently cried while I cleared the table and washed the dinner dishes. Tears splashed down as I mopped up the mess from my food on the floor. I hated how awful Thomas was. I hated how they treated me. Ever since Daddy died and Thomas showed up, I was their punching bag. I missed Daddy so much.
Mother was kinder then, too. She was still severe, but Dad kept her tempered. After he died, there was a change that came over her. I was only six, so I didn't remember her too much from before, but I did remember her gushing on and on when she was pregnant with Thomas. How the baby was a gift from Our Heavenly Father, that it was going to complete our broken family.
My sixth birthday happened right after Daddy died and I remember sitting on the patio crying while the house was full of people after the funeral, normally he would have gotten me a new doll and a chocolate bar, instead I was forgotten. No doll. No chocolate. Just funeral potatoes and a house full of cigarette smoke from the adults.
Nobody remembered. The closest thing I got was my dad's sister, Aunt Judy, sitting next to me on the patio step for a few minutes of comfortable silence before giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I don't think she knew her brother was memorialized on my birthday. Next year, Thomas was born the day before my birthday, so it was completely eclipsed as Mother had just birthed her new love into the world…
I stopped mid mop as a lightbulb finally went off. I had never put much thought into the dates before.
Thomas was born a full year after Daddy died. He couldn't be his dad. Who was Thomas’ actual father?
Washing mashed potatoes out of my hair that evening, I ran over and over the timeline. No matter how I parsed it out, Thomas was only my half brother. Going to bed that night, I kept myself awake, going over and over again to make sure. I couldn't remember any men being around at that time, but that didn't mean much. Adults can easily hide things from children. Tension began throbbing through my head and I felt queasy. Mother had always known all of my secrets, able to sniff them out like a bloodhound out or using Thomas to spy. Now I had one of Mother's secrets and I didn't know what to do with it.
First I wanted to confirm it, but it would mean snooping, which was difficult in a house that was rarely left empty. I would have to try finding Mother's calendar book or journal to see if she mentioned any dates or men.
But when could I attempt such a daring maneuver? Thomas hardly left the house. As proud as Mother was of him, she was very cognizant and protective of his differences and didn't want to draw attention to herself or Thomas like that. Mother herself had few social engagements throughout the week and mostly stayed home to watch her golden child.
I finally decided I would take the risk and fake sick on Tuesday, grocery day, so I could stay home from school while she went shopping. All Thomas did all day was watch TV downstairs, so that should give me about an hour to look through her room for clues. I decided to tuck my head down, try to behave as best as I could to avoid their wrath, and wait for Tuesday.
That weekend limped along agonizingly slow. Thomas was in a fine mood and was constantly seeking out a reason to poke me, punch me, slap me… he'd laugh while calling me a piggy with his off-putting wide mouth. I tried to mostly stay in my room and it seemed like neither of them cared.
School on Monday was a relief, but my anxiety ramped up. The consequences would be dire if Mother caught on that I was faking sick to stay home. I didn't even want to imagine how off the leash she'd let my half-brother become in his punishment for that level of insubordination.
I stayed up all night, my stomach was in knots, but I was committed to my plan. Throughout the night, I screamed as hard as I could into my pillow. Screamed until my throat was raw and I could barely talk. It felt cathartic in a way. When it was close to school time, I put on my heaviest flannel pajamas and began doing jumping jacks until my face was flushed and my scalp was soaked with sweat.
Looking in the bathroom mirror before heading down to talk to Mother, I thought I looked pretty convincing, my skin was flushed and sweaty, my eyes had circles under them from lack of sleep, and my voice croaked like a frog.
Heading downstairs, Mother was already feeding Thomas breakfast. I hesitantly stepped into the kitchen and stood there awkwardly for a second, pawing with my pajamas to keep my nerves steady until she noticed my presence and looked up.
“Why aren't you dressed, Julianne?"
"I don't feel well. My throat hurts and my tummy hurts.” My voice graveled out more than I was expecting, I really had hurt my throat.
She strode over to me and placed a cool hand on my sweaty brow.
"You do feel warm. Take an aspirin from the medicine cabinet and go lay back down. I'll check on you later," with that she turned back and walked over to Thomas, who was frozen in place, glaring at me over a forkful of scrambled eggs. The sharp glint of malice in his beady eyes made me shiver before I shuffled out of the kitchen.
I laid in bed, trying my best to look miserable until I eventually heard the faint sound of the television playing in the den as Thomas settled in for his normal daytime routine and the garage door opened as Mother headed to the grocery store. I bounded out of bed and watched the car back out of our driveway and head up the street.
My heart began to pound as I tiptoed down the hall to Mother's bedroom, a place I rarely even caught a glimpse of, let alone entered. I very slowly opened the door, taking great care to not make any noise to alert Thomas downstairs that I was out of bed.
Creeping into the butter yellow room, I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my skull, this was the naughtiest thing I had ever done by far. I stepped onto the rug to help disguise my footsteps and slowly made my way past the brass bed and towards her desk. My hands shook as I opened the top drawer, I pawed through rapidly and found nothing. I checked the next drawer down and again found nothing of interest, just stationary and envelopes.
Finally, the bottom drawer was what I was looking for, a stack of journals from the past decade. I flipped through, trying to find entries relevant to when Daddy died and who Mother slept with afterwards.
I've never fully recovered from what I read.
July 6, 1968
Edgar died today. Car accident. I cannot believe this is real. My light, my life, my anchor... Dr. Benson gave me a sedative at the hospital and I feel so tired. So very, very tired. Why has my Lord forsaken me so?
July 9, 1968
I feel like I am in a very bad dream, I feel numb and disconnected. All the consolation and pity from everyone makes me feel sick. After the memorial, it took everything in me to not break dishes and to scream at everyone to get out of my house. Julianne was moping about crying and I wanted to throw her out, too.
If I hadn't seen my dear Edgar's body in the hospital and held his urn in my own hands, I wouldn't believe he was really gone. I still don't entirely believe it.
I have prayed to God every night asking him to show me why he took my husband from me and I have gotten no answer.
I skimmed over the next few months, as it was more or less similar sentiments repeated night after night. I finally got to an entry that caught my eye.
September 17, 1968
My battle with my faith has been fraught the past few months, but Hallelujah! I feel I can see the Lord again in all his glory and might, for he has given me a way to reconnect to my Edgar!
I was thinking about the night Julianne was born, right in this very home, it was a difficult birth and she struggled to breathe at first. Ingrid, my midwife, made a comment to me that if the baby had failed to wake up on her own, that Ingrid had ways to make sure she would have made it.
I remember asking if it was a medical methodology and she made it clear to me that in certain circumstances, it was a mystical property she used to bring the air of life into a struggling baby's lungs. She gently alluded to being a practicing member of the dark arts. At the time, I felt quite scandalized to have someone like that in my God fearing home. Now I see her as the answer to my prayers! My angel!
On a whim, I called her and asked if she still practiced such techniques. She hesitantly confirmed that she did. I asked, if she could turn breath into the lungs of a child without, could she turn breath into a child that did not exist? Could she magick into existence another child of my beloved Edgar? She told me she had to do some research and she'd be back in touch.
Ingrid just called back after a few hours and said there was a spell she found, but it was dangerous and might have unpleasant results. I said, yes, of course! I trust my Lord and I believe he sent this woman of blessed magick to me for this purpose.
She says we will have to do it soon, in a few days during the new moon. She has a potion to brew, but it is happening! Praise God!
September 23, 1968
The ceremony was last night, and Ingrid believes it was a success, but we will have to wait. It did not take long, only an hour or two. Ingrid lit my bedroom with many beeswax candles and she had me drink a thick and bitter tea that caused me to become quite relaxed and foggy.
From my inner thigh, she cut me and collected my blood in a chalice, with which she mixed quite a lot of Edgar's ashes and other ingredients which I could not glean from my supine position and groggy wits. Ingrid began to chant, calling upon a higher power, as I pleaded with my Lord to let this work. To give me any piece of my Edgar back. She came to the bed and worked the paste between my legs into my womanly chamber, which was very uncomfortable, but manageable with the numbing effects of the tea.
She continued to sit with me and chant, her hand placed over my womb, until she decided at which time it was complete. She left and I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up this morning, I felt quite uncomfortable, my body ached and when I used the restroom, a yellow fluid like pus poured out of me, but no sign of any ashes or blood, which gives me hope it was absorbed into my womb.
November 3, 1968
Praise be to our Lord, Ingrid just confirmed for me that I am with child, I had been hoping so, I had not gotten my cycle in October, but I wasn't sure if that was because of the discharge like pus that was still coming. She told me that was common with this spell and a side effect that would stop after the baby came.
I feel like I am floating on air, for the first time since Edgar left, I feel-
I suddenly became very aware of the feeling of eyes on the back of my head. I had become too engrossed in what was written before me and I had lost track of my surroundings. Very slowly, I turned around and my heart began pounding again as I saw Thomas standing in the doorway holding his wooden spoon in one hand. How had I not heard him?
He pointed at me with his empty hand and screamed, just a pure guttural screech from somewhere deep inside his disgusting little body. He charged at me from across the room, his horrible feet thumping solidly along the rug. He began beating my legs ruthlessly with the spoon, causing my legs to buckle. I crashed down to my knees in front of him, and he began lashing at my face, pulling my hair with one hand while wailing away at my head with the spoon.
I had dropped the journal I was holding and was desperately trying to get a hand on the spoon or push him away. All I could hear was him screaming. My arms flailed and I reached around on Mother's desk and grabbed onto the first thing I found and sank it into Thomas’ neck.
The end of Mother's gold letter opener protruded under his jaw. He went silent and he looked at me with utter shock. He dropped the spoon and collapsed on the ground, clutching at his neck as his thick black blood oozed out from his wound, letting out a stupendous odor of rot that filled the room. He didn't really say anything or make any noise. He just twitched for a moment and I saw his eyes glaze over.
In shock, I stood over his little body for a moment and I watched as he seemed to mummify in just a few minutes, like an ash person from Pompeii dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Even his blood that looked like shiny oil a second ago became like potting soil on Mother's rug. Reaching out to touch his hand, it crumbled away like sand.
Panic ran through me like a rabbit caught in a snare. Not knowing what to do, I ran. I ran down the hall, changed my clothes, put an extra change of clothes in my backpack and the last doll Daddy had ever given me and I ran. Mother would absolutely never forgive me and I was genuinely afraid she would kill me in retaliation for taking her beloved Thomas away from her. Her precious gift from God. My feet flew over the pavement and took me away from that house.
I called my Aunt Judy from a payphone outside the five & dime, and told her Mother had kicked me out and asked if I could stay with her. She had always had a strained relationship with my mother and it didn't take much convincing that she had kicked out her “only” child. Only Mother, Ingrid, and I ever knew about Thomas.
She gave me a home and took care of me. She never beat me or humiliated me. Even with her love, I was far from okay. For years I would close my eyes and hear Thomas scream, then the sudden silence. I'd see him fumbling at his neck and turning to ash. But I would also remember all the ways he would hurt me and how bad he was becoming. I could never talk to anyone about it, especially not the silent relief I felt I refused to admit to myself. Over time, however, Thomas' screams became a whisper and his silence faded into dust in my mind.
I moved on with my life. I went to college and became a photojournalist, getting to travel the world and watch history unfold. By choice, I never married, but was quite blessed with many beautiful friendships for companionship over the decades. I found balance in my life and a sense of happiness, if not peace. I never could quite stomach mashed potatoes again, though, they always taste ashy to me.
Mother never made any attempts to reach out to me or find me, at least that I'm aware of. Ten years ago, I was contacted by a hospital and they said my mother had been admitted earlier after falling and was about to pass, so she must have kept some tabs on me to know my phone number for her emergency contacts. Apparently she had collapsed in the driveway and a neighbor called an ambulance. I got there and her only words to me were, “take care of him," as she placed a locket in my hand. I opened the locket, Jesus was on one side, Thomas on the other. I didn't say anything to her, just held her frail old hand with nicotine stained nails until she passed in the night. My mother was gone and I felt nothing except a vague sense of relief.
When I got to her house, it was like a time capsule. Other than a newer television, it was just like it was when I'd fled so many years ago. The smell of tobacco smoke hung like incense in the air. It felt oppressive, like a tomb.
I wandered the house in a bit of a daze. The one place I didn't want to go was upstairs. I didn't want to see my old room, or Thomas' room, or Mother's. Putting it off, I went to fix myself some supper, realizing I hadn't eaten in almost a day. I took a pause when I opened the fridge and saw a baby bottle on a shelf. Silently praying she had been babysitting for a neighbor, I fixed myself some toast with sardines and sat eating in the den watching TV. It had been almost forty years and it still felt rebellious not eating at the table and watching TV without permission.
My eyes grew heavy and I finally mustered up the gumption to head upstairs to go to bed. The stairs creaked in a familiar way under my feet and I was taken back to the feeling of dread hearing either Mother or Thomas climbing up. My old room was at the top of the stairs, I saw the door was nailed shut and had rambling quotes about Judas copied from the Bible in my mother's handwriting taped to the door. I sighed gently and turned from the door to head down the hallway, deciding Mother's room was probably the best place to sleep.
I passed by Thomas’ toy room and I heard a murmur from the room. I stopped, curiosity got the best of me and I entered. In Thomas' old toy room was a crib with joyful clown sheets. Dread swelled up inside me as I heard more murmurs and saw the sheets move. Approaching slowly, I peaked under the sheet and gasped.
Tucked inside was what looked like a baby gargoyle, gray and papery looking. Pus leaked out of its milky, bulbous eyes. I pulled back the blanket and saw it had no legs and its arms bent back, like wings on a bird. It was wearing just a cloth diaper, overflowing with tarry looking stool that took my breath away with its pungency, it smelled like Thomas’ blood, but somehow worse. My heart broke for this poor creature, Lord only knows how many years it has been in this crib suffering from its unholy existence.
So this is who Mother had wanted me to take care of…
Not knowing what else to do, I gently scooped him up. Like Thomas, he was shockingly heavy for how small his body was. Placing him on the changing table, I cleaned him and rewrapped his bottom in a clean diaper cloth. It was difficult, he fussed tremendously, crying and flopping around as much as his flipper-like arms would allow. I tried wiping off his oozing eyes and he snapped his mouth, which I saw was full of disturbingly square yellow teeth, trying to bite me. I carried him to the kitchen and rocked him while I heated up his bottle and he became furious with me, almost barking like a dog when my hand would get near his face.
He settled a bit as he fed, but he would still sometimes suddenly spit out the bottle and attempt to bite me. I laid him back in his crib, this abomination in a clown sheet, and I walked down the hall to Mother's room letting out a long sigh.
Combing through my mother's journals in the early hours of the morning, it looked like she tried the ceremony again shortly after Thomas died, but she either lacked Ingrid’s help or didn't have enough of my father's ashes left. Something went terribly wrong. She was vaguer than she had been about Thomas’ conception, but I suspect she had used some of Thomas' remains. The resulting birth she named Isaac.
Mother's journals told a sad tale of her and Isaac's suffering. She never mentioned me, but lamented the loss of Thomas and Dad relentlessly. She was hyper protective of Isaac, as that was all she had left. If her world had been small before, it became microscopic after he entered her life, requiring nearly constant care. According to Mother, he was blind and colicky, sometimes going years at a time without sleeping through the night. She had breast fed him for years, but she had to stop after he grew teeth and began biting her intentionally and feeding on her blood.
I spent a lot of time over the next few days pondering what to do. I had to get her estate in order, she had left me the house, in an obvious attempt to get me to continue caretaking for Isaac, but I didn't want it. I had my own cozy home an hour away from here, filled with happy memories and my possessions acquired traveling the world. Mother's home had a heavy energy I couldn't shake. Her and Thomas were both gone, but the memories of the scoldings and beatings hung in every corner, like cobwebs that would never sweep away.
So, I fed Isaac and kept him clean and tried to keep him company, although he seemed to hate me passionately. I took care of him, all the while thinking about what I was going to do. After a week, I felt resolute in what had to be done.
Gathering up all of Mother's journals in a tote, I made my way to Isaac and picked him up and carried everything to the living room.
The ancient logs in the fireplace meant for display ignited instantly. One by one, I fed the journals into the fire, burning away years of my mother's consuming sorrow. Isaac fussed and moaned next to me the entire time. When the last pages shimmered away into lacy ash, I took a throw pillow off the couch and gently cradled Isaac in my other arm. It didn't take long before he stopped struggling and I felt his little body relax after decades of suffering.
I gently wrapped up a bundle in a clown sheet and placed it in the fire. It burned furiously, like the paper in my mother's journals, and was soon gone. Nothing but ashes and embers.
“Don't worry, Mother,” I said purely for my own sake, "I took care of Isaac for you."
And finally, I felt at peace.

Hi, I just turned 23 last year, I make ~50-60k/yr I have a finance degree from what (post my graduation) just became a D1 school. I have a nice apartment, own my car, ~$35k savings, NO college debt (my mom works at a university and I got accepted into the tuition exchange program and didn’t live on campus), no girlfriend, no friends who have any goals that place them outside of where we all grew up and didn’t go to college, I’m amazing at building relationships and love doing it. I help manage a startup branch of a larger supplement company and things are going horribly cause I’m not making as much money as I’d like and I honestly don’t LOVE the industry. I love the job, just hate what I’m doing it in if that makes any sense.
I’m smart enough to know that something is not right. I’m in normal shape, not jacked but definitely not fat. I’ve barely been eating but also take 10mg of adderall a day. I smoke weed every day and drink 4/7 days a week, 3/7 I’d say I actually get drunk on.
I hate everything about my life currently, but feel trapped and don’t know how to get out. People around me would love to be in the situation I’m in as far as assets and comparable success at my age—especially being part of the college group that DIDN’T drop out or take a break during covid.
I just stopped going to therapy because there is literally so little going on in my life (there’s not very much work to do at all) that there literally aren’t any REAL problems to talk about.
This is the part where a lot of people think I need to just relax and keep saving and grow slowly, but that just feels so wrong. It would feel like I am settling if I did that. I need constant growth and the ability to keep learning. I’ve run out of things (career and people wise) to learn about. I hang out with people I’ve known for a while who are doing nothing and have a job that is doing the same thing.
Help

January 29, 2384 - the day of the last total eclipse is when the raid began. “The day of the sun's false shadow” as people call it now. We, humans, were an unsuspecting victims in a universe habited by multiple vastly stronger existences. When it happened the world had been thrown into utter chaos and shock. The sun had been completely covered by the moon and this event was supposed to last only a short while however after two hours sunlight had still not shown its face upon the earth's surface. This was the beginning of humanity's greatest tribulation. After days of the sun's light not being shown the planet's temperature began to drop and to compensate for this people began to create massive fires but this did not stop the problem. Photosynthesis in plants began to stop, making it harder for humans to breathe. This made humans build labs and create artificial oxygen, which took care of that problem but humans still began to die from hypothermia, frozen oceans, and forced stoppage of blood flow. After two weeks, the sun finally revealed itself and all hope had been restored in humanity collectively only for half the population to be massacred in an instant. “The watchers” had been slowly waiting with armies to colonize our planet and technology beyond our wild comprehension. Technology we can only dream of had been shown and used right before our very eyes and for the first time in all of human history, we had been united as one in our mutual fear and horror. 2 months later, 90% of humanity has been wiped out and the few who remained were used as slaves to cultivate energy. With the use of a Dyson shell, nearly 80% of the sun's energy and heat had been directed into maintaining their energy. Amongst all this time, humanity had collectively agreed to fight back. This began the creation of the liberation group, “the Plague”. These groups of people were the last hope of humanity and carried an extremely large ambition and dream on their shoulders. While “the watchers” were extremely advanced this doesn't change the fact that they were fallible and this group of people were their scourge. They didn't have the military might nor the advanced brain to even keep up against “the watchers” but through slavery and forced labor, the human body began to develop into something stronger. They began to surpass their limits and break the barriers that the human mind had once placed on themselves. Through the selective farming of “the watchers” a new plant had developed that was essentially a stimulant to the human body and a limit breaker for their physical capabilities. At first, they began by using strong levels of acid to corrode the buildings and structures and then stopping their heartbeat to give the impression of suicide so they could not be caught, however, they did not die due to a new system developed from the human's newfound evolution. Due to the strict regimen that we had to follow, we knew all of the places where they would and wouldn't be, all the blind spots of the planet, all the places where they were in close proximity to a chasm, and all the places where we were at a disadvantage. We used the blindspots as bases and hideouts where we could plan our vengeance. After a year of just observing their behavior, habits, bodily functions, and even their schedules we developed a hypothesis that 24 seconds after 7:39 PM we have approximately 19 minutes and 53 seconds in Greenland where we are not being watched nor located. We used this small window of time to gather the fundamental items we needed to fight back and build the foundation for our organization. We gathered food, plants, water, armor, and weapons. We realized that they were immune to cutting/slicing damage and could only be hurt through blunt attacks. With this knowledge, we developed a specific fighting style and used that small time frame to train others in it. We adapted to the harsh conditions and created clothes using spare pieces from “the watchers” specially made for insulating heat, weighing less, and being less penetrable by outside attacks. After a year every person on the planet was a master at this martial arts and had fully developed a counter to all technology that “the watchers” had. However, we could not initiate immediate war on them so we needed a plan. We came up with the idea to have one of our strongest members report to the watchers about our activity and give away one of our bases. This created the false notion that not only did they have someone working as a double agent on their side but also they knew where we would be so they could catch us off guard. We were all there like they expected and they attacked like planned. We had all moved our weapons, armor, and vital items into a different base but kept some things where they attacked to make them think we had not gotten far but this was a dud. Eventually, we had all “died” and had our bodies left at that place as a sign of victory on their side. However, because of this, their ego had grown and they began to underestimate us. The surveillance had gotten weaker as they assumed their “double agent” would tell them everything as a trade for luxury living. We knew that physical power would not be enough so our smartest man collaborated to develop a virus specifically made for their genetic makeup which took about 5 years to extract small strands of DNA without them realizing. Once the virus had been created the incidence began and eliminated more than 60 percent of “the watchers” because of how they were too distracted trying to develop a cure and the vast amount of them dying, we had gained more time to develop our forces and we began to ingest various harmful substances but in small doses in order to gain resistance to any harmful poisons and acids. After new children start to be born this began the origin of a new human species. One massively stronger, smarter, more durable, and with all the immunities and benefits without the downsides. With the birth of this new generation, all of the human race had experienced a collective euphoria. We had begun to secretly train these kids for years and strengthen them in a way the human race had never been before. Due to the circumstances of their birth, they had also developed a strong ability for adaptation and healing factor which ultimately led to humans finally being able to physically compete with “the watchers”. However, we were still lacking in numbers despite the virus taking a vast majority of “the watchers” away. Some of us grew confident and because we were now physically capable some believed we could win the war while others believed we couldn’t yet. This created division within our ranks but did not necessarily break our ranks but that was all depending on your interpretation. We gathered our smartest men and women to make a plan to initiate war, and for 14 days they were stuck in ruminative thought. 2 years passed and we had finally built up the numbers, technology, and physical capabilities to contend with the watchers. Now on the day of the war, all of our strongest soldiers imitated the attack. But this time they were an unsuspecting victim on a planet habited by a stronger species. During the war we had counters for nearly everything the watchers could dish out but one thing we were not aware of was the fact that the watchers could transform into a smaller but faster, stronger, and more durable form. This form took the shape of humankind. So closely related that it struck fear into the hearts of many. Not only was this extremely off-putting but the revelation that came along with it had altered the perception of humanity as we know it. The war had been put to a halt, and all forced fighting in the war had directed their attention to one watcher and one watcher alone. All forces had been completely immobilized and fighting back was no longer capable. With this, the words that had been spoken out of the watcher were a revelation that humanity had not even considered possible. “We are not your enemies. We are you but from the future. In our original timeline, we have been attacked by a species even higher than us. We had been pushed to the brink of extinction and our last hope was only to go back in time in hopes that if we returned to our past selves we could help evolve even more to contend with the world-ending threats from the future. This siege we had laid on this planet and the forced evolution, progression, and tragedy among humankind also brought extreme progression in human capabilities. All of you are vastly superior to your previous forms because of our arrival. While we acknowledge our methods were not the ideal we had no other option. This was the fastest and most effective method to progress the human species although we could not allow the human race to have this win. It would boost the ego of your race and our all of you in a state of comfort and stagnation. With this being said we resign from our participation in this war and would greatly appreciate it if you allowed us to help humanity rebuild and donate technology.” Speechless as to what humanity has just heard we just stood there in utter shock and disbelief. Not a single soul knew what to say and all of humanity had stood in confusion. One man spoke “how do we know this is true” the watcher proceeded to show pictures and videos of them being massacred while some stood in human form and others did not. They showed is this along with the words, “we initiated this war as a way to put the human race through natural selection and eliminate all the weak human being who would not be able to contribute to our growth and success in any upcoming battle. So with that being said what is your decision?” Our leader, and the smartest woman among us had stated, “We humbly decline this offer as we would prefer to evolve by our capabilities and we have already surpassed you so what can you possibly teach us.” After this being stated the war had been started again and the watchers had been for the first time since the “great cleansing” began utterly defeated and annihilated. With the war being won, humanity being victorious, and newfound abilities being discovered humanity had been thrown into an era of peace and prosperity. All tragedies had been blamed on the watchers and for the first time humanity had an ever lasting peace and a perfect utopia where everyone agreed and benefited from each other. With this, we have been vastly improving and slowly but steadily rebuilding our planet and all of humankind. Our members started family’s and genuinely enjoyed the life they were living once again. Everyone acting coyly and with one another was a beautiful side to behold. Everything was perfect until the same monsters who killed the watchers, showed up to eliminate us due to fear of what we could evolve into this time we had no way to fight back and our ranks were already diminished or severely weakened. How would humanity be able to survive this time???Most people had been massacre and captures to be experimented on. Very few of us had actually managed to get away from them and we had only been able to do this through shadow banishment. It was a skill that we had acquired through the technology of the watchers. Living in the void was not the ideal lifestyle as it was ruthless, dirty, and unsafe but the chances of surviving here were massively higher than surviving on earth. Only a hundred of us remained and the human species were basically extinct. With this small group left we had resorted to instead of trying to repopulate and exact revenge immediately we would take the short route. In the void monsters had no sort of civilization and the only rule amongst these creatures were the strongest prevail. There was no sort of rule, order, or even a sense of respect between these monsters. The weak were prey for the strongest, and the strong were killed by the stronger. We took this as an opportunity to not only increase our strength by training and battling but also amassing an empire. The remind of humanity collectively agree that we would bring order and peace to the void. The best way to go through this was by entering the tournament. The monsters held tournaments to watch the strongest fight and kill each other for pure fun. We joined this colosseum and while at first we easily overwhelmed our opponents we had slowly been facing harder and harder opponents as we rose through the ranks. By the time even a single one of us was defeated we had made a name and gained the attention of multiple monsters within the void. We were not necessarily respected or followed but we were feared and simultaneously an opponent that monsters wished to fight. After this we had developed our own fighting ring in which monster could fight and battle against us and only us. We implied a set of rules in this ring. Rule 1; no killing Rule 2; reservations must be made to fight Rule 3; both parties must consent Rule 4; do not make the fight personal Rule 5; it must be between a human and monster. These rules created a sense of security amongst the monsters and while driven by their desire of battle they also abided by the rules. Eventually after fighting throughout the tournament and gaining more traction with the monsters in it. Eventually even the most high ranked demons had begun to make reservations in for our fights. Our strongest soldiers had been the ones to fight them as nobody else can really compete. The first fight had been with a demon who had the ability of immunity. This ability did not only revolve around internal status effects but also could be applied to his physical body. The fight had been the biggest one the ring had ever experienced and it did not disappoint. Eventually we had won and this through the whole entire void and everyone in it into an uproar. Monsters who never even bothered to fight had shown up to battle. The strongest monster in the void and the only monster with a sense of order, self, and purpose had shown up to fight all humans by himself. He agreed that if we win he would pledge allegiance to us all and work under our rule however if we lose we will be killed. This monster bore an extreme resemblance humans. The structure of his body and the contents of it were all human like however he claimed not to be. This monsters name was angel and he possessed the ability to manipulate and control all matter with the sole exception of any other organic material that resided outside of his own body. Our commander and strongest member amongst us was the person to fight him. His name was Alexander and despite the fact that we didn't have any singular special powers like him however our physical bodies were honed greater than any other species in existence. They were evenly matched in speed and strength and even in our capabilities to rapidly heal from damage. They had been evenly matched in all physical ability and the fight had ultimately come to hand to hand combat and who could last longer. Angel was unmatched in combat and had barely even been hit due to how experienced in martial arts he had been; however throughout the fight Alexander had been naturally adapting to his fighting style and developing counters to everything. Our natural ability to adapt to all attacks and effects placed upon us had given a clear win condition; however time was needed to actually see and fully understand how to possibly adapt to everything. The longer the fight took the higher the chance of Angel losing. Alexander had slowly but steadily been adapting and developing new combat styles to counter everything angle could do and even had grown to use his own severed limbs as projectiles and use his blood as a coat over all other objects to cancel his ability to use his field. Angel's main ability had been to control the air around him to increase speed, power, and even get a sense of what his opponent would be doing before it happened. After finally adapting to this his body had begun to heat itself in an attempt to turn it into vapor and due to blood being organic matter of another life form he would no longer have control of the air and the surrounding area. After this the fight had come down to solely base physical capabilities and for 10 minutes they had been mindlessly brawling and instantaneously healing through the damage taken. After a long period of time their healing began to slow down due to bodily fatigue. Biting, punching, scratching, kicking, anything you can think of, they did it. That fight was a bloodbath unlike anything else and in the end they both passed out on the floor with nothing left besides their bodies soaked and bathed in each other's blood. After they had both been knocked unconscious their bodies had been left there in anticipation for them to awaken. The ring filled beyond capacity as people argued and fought about who would awaken first. In anticipation for this once in a lifetime event the whole void had stopped with all its attention. Angel was the first to awaken and he had been exhausted and utterly stunned as to how he actually had gotten knocked out. He had the opportunity to kill his opponent as he had technically won the battle but out of respect for his opponents strength and capabilities he possessed. After the fight had finished Angel had left and was never to be seen again. After 2 weeks Alexander had awoken in a small shack being guarded by one other human and confused after everything had been explained to him he had went around looking for angel but he was not to be found. After awakening Alexander had been massively stronger than before. Due to the physical state his body was put in and all the damage that he had taken from Angel his body had adapted and become more dense in order to take all the attacks while sustaining the least amount of damage possible. After his awakening this began our political revolution. We had now implemented the ring with rules and gotten multiple monsters to follow by these rules and with them being accurate to filling orders more now we had decided to initiate a leadedictator in a sense. The top 5 strongest creatures in the void had been the leaders and this had consisted of Alexander at 1, 2 other demons at 2 and 3, and humans to fill the final spots. We began to implement laws and rules in order to stop the mass murder and destruction happening and within a small time frame we had created structures similar to the ones of the earth. Houses and gyms in order to train in hopes of becoming stronger and even professional combat sports. After 2 months time had passed we had developed a military with our best members in it and humbly had began to repopulate. All this had been done in hopes of regaining the earth and defeated our oppressors. Fast forward 1 months the and the siege of the home planet had begun. They had not been suspecting us however took the preparations in case we had come. Based and soldiers set up in every corner of the world to fight back when the time came we did come back. With this an all out war for the fate of humanity had began and the extinction of either race lay in the balance between life and death.
After the war had began all forces had been deployed to different areas of the planet. Groups that had worked together best being deployed to one part while our strongest being deployed to another. At first we had been nearly even in everything besides technology. They had everything that we lacked and this gave them the combative edge. However despite lacking in technology we made up for it in numbers. Most fights had consisted of large groups of monsters fighting against one or two of our enemy and this has convoluted till their forces had been somewhat deployed. The one on one fights had been more dragged out and heavily impacted the war. Our strongest soldiers fighting against their strongest soldiers in a one on one fight. Everyone has put their all into this battle and left nothing to spare. Our second and third strongest soldiers had the most impact in this war not because of who they fought but because of what they could do. They didn’t actually have abilities specific to them but instead they were born with a type of energy within their bodies in which they called “synergy”. This synergy could be used to amp all their physical abilities but also be used to crate and use techniques or even use techniques that are specific to the traits of the individuals soul. The strength and physical stats of the individual depended on how much synergy they had at their disposal and while some of them were able to gather strength from other life forms it was not a very common occurrence. Alexander fought someone with the ability to control and manipulate momentum. They used synergy and funneled it through all objects of their choice to increase or decrease of momentum of that. This didn’t do much on a wide scale and was a very basic ability but in a solo battle this made it extremely hard to land attacks and even when they were landed they did little to no damage. The most important one to kill had the ability to manipulate all probability. Meaning the likelihood of us even winning this war was less then .0001 percent with them being alive. Whether it was because of a collection of small losses or one major loss did not make a difference. All odds were stacked against us as long as this person remained on the battlefield. In simple terms the whole war relied on the defeat of that person. Our second in command and smartest soldier, “Cassandra” decided to take this upon herself. She was the only one among us who possessed an innate ability and was viewed as the most special soldier but this came at a cost. She gained a talent no other human possessed but in return she no longer had the natural ability to adapt to all circumstances. Her ability was to take the form and attributes of any and all creature she knew to exist. Mythical or not she could take the shape and ability of these creatures and use it as long as she desired. However she could only use one at a time and had to wait 30 seconds in between shifting. Our third in command, “Vladimir” had took the roll of fighting their head technologist. While his opponent had not specialized in battle he still was one of the most dangerous and this was because of his ability to create machines as small as molecular level that shared his thoughts and emotions. These machines were used to repair his body in case on injury, transport information, invade any opponents body and restrict movement, anything that he deemed possible could be done with the use of those machines. But he chose to mainly use them as sort of technological tools to help him further advance his society. The rest of our battles were not nearly as important and were mostly group battles. Afro the beginning portion of Alexander’s fight he had been losing severely and could barely land any attacks at all. After a few minutes of getting beat down and not being able to fight back the adaptation process began. The first adaptation was only a temporary solution to the problem but his body had been explosively shooting out sharpened pieces of his bones and even using tiny droplets of blood as weapons. However this was only a temporary solution because eventually those bones and blood just started being slowed also. The final adaptation and most effective one happened when his body created a function in which he can store kinetic energy and then release it at any given time. This allowed him to rapidly boost his speed whenever his momentum had been slowed and basically cancel out his opponent power. However this still did not stop how his opponent made himself significantly faster. After this the fight had been more tipped into Alexander’s favor but still not enough to actually win. Throughout the progression of the fight Alexander had been gathering more and make friction between the clothes he had and his feet running against the floor. After gathering as much friction and kinetic energy as possible he let it all explode and release all over his body. This altered the form of his body. His body and skin began to form cracks and let off steam. He began to turn dark red and his eyes became shot with blood. His body was slowly crumbling and deteriorating. He had 5 minutes left to defeat his opponent and if he did not then his body would crumble and he would die. Due to his rapid healing factor he had a chance of living if he was able to end the fight within 5 minutes and give himself some time to rest but this all depended on how much he could get done. The battle had been tilted all the way in Alexander’s favor and had no longer been a battle. It had turned into if his opponent could outlast him in those 5 minutes. Brutally beating his opponent and taking full advantage of the situation Alexander did not relent on his rampage. Stopping his momentum no longer mattered and it seemed like the more he tried the faster Alexander got. Steam had been blowing off him. In the end he had managed to kill his opponent within those 5 minutes and had been at deaths door. Cassandra had began her battle and had been absolutely obliterating her opponent. The ability to shape shift from dragons, unicorns, hydras, centaurs, and any mythical creature you can think of. At first she had taken the abilities of a dragon but throughout the fight she had been developing into stronger and more complex creatures. After a while her opponent had been decreasing the probability of her even landing attacks. This made it extremely hard for her to fight and maintain the advantage. She took the appearance and abilities of the mythical deity sun wukong. Due to sun wukong being a monkey that ascended into a higher power he is one of the only gods that she can transform into. After this she gained the ability to not only make clones out of every hair on her body but also multiply the power of each clone. While she does not possess every power sun wukong has she possesses some of them and the most prominent ones. This fight had been a one sided beatdown and only lasted longer than 2 minutes because the probability of each clone attacking each other had been raised to its maximum percentage. Despite this every 1000 punches that had been thrown at least 1 hit her opponent and this was more than he could handle from millions of clones. Vladimir had no special capabilities; he only possessed an extremely honed body and battle experience. At first they had been near equal but the battle began to take a turn when the tiny bugs began to infest his body and eat him from the inside. Due to his advanced healing factor he had been able to stop any significant damage and fight with mild discomfort but this did not change that if he continued in for a longer period of time then he would inevitably be defeated by these bugs and killed. This made the battle a race against time. Expending everything his body had to offer and leaving not a single drop of energy left. Pushing his body to the absolute peak and physical limit. Even going beyond the known capabilities of his body he began to evolve into a higher form. He did not develop any new type of power or gain a newfound power but he did increase and rapidly evolve his physical capabilities. He began to punch with such speed and strength that he created shockwaves from breaking the sound barrier. With this his punches became far more explosive and with every punch thrown he was exploding giant parts of his opponents body and everything within the perimeter. With no regard to his surroundings the battle had destroyed everything in sight and left them fighting in a bare wasteland. Basically erasing everything within line of his punches he began to annihilate his opponent with speed and strength unmatched. Due to all the tiny machines within his body he regrow limbs and was able to counter attack with near no fatigue or even lag in his action. While pushing his body to its absolute limit his body had given up on him. Rapidly healing from constant damage, pushing muscles to their utmost limit, moving, attacking at his highest speed, and even understanding/ perception of all attacks massively faster then he could ever before. Due to all this his body began to give out and in the midst of battle he fell and was unable to recover. No longer able to fight back and maintain the performance he had, he was defeated. Being eaten from the inside, limbs being torn from his body, and being damaged so much that not even his regeneration could keep up. His head had been ripped off his body and with this humanity had suffered its first major loss. After this all other forces began to gain support from all his other bugs and humanities forces had been rapidly depleting. With loss in sight humanity had lost hope and accepted defeat. Right when humanity had accepted defeat and all hope had been lost the king had shown himself once again. Like an Angel coming to bless all of humanity he had run through and obliterated all enemies of humanity. Destroying everything in sight and bringing all enemies to his feet he had saved humanity and restored hope and just like that he had disappeared into the void once again. There was no explanation as to how or why but in that moment all of humanity knew who we would be forever grateful and indebted to. Not many opponents had been left standing but the few who were, were extremely weakened and overwhelmed by numbers. After this decisive battle humanity had been in a state of joy and excitement out of their new victory. Once all the excitement and happiness from winning had worn off all the sorrow and remorse from the losses had come rushing in. All the lost family members, dead soldiers, limbs lost, and mental trauma had taken a toll on humanity. After we had gotten our planet back we did not spend our time rebuilding and trying to repopulate. We spent months mourning the loss of our loved ones and all our soldiers. We laid in depression and sorrow for our mutual loss and mental trauma. This brought humanity closer as a whole and we bonded over our suffering. Humanity had been one but at what cost. After years of processing humanity had finally been able to rebuild all of our structures, population, and even expand to different planets. After all these trials and tribulations we had finally evolved completely and after ages of loss we had finally entered a golden age of humanity. After all this we had begun to explore the deep parts of our planet and while exploring we discovered something far beyond our comprehension. Humanity had only been a small part of a vastly bigger world and a whole new world had now been exposed to us. We had breached through the ice caps of the north pole and had been greeted with hostility from a race on our planet we did not even know existed. After entering this “new world” humanity had found out the truth of our existence and creation. After finding out the truth of our creation and the prophecy of our faith we had all collectively regretted winning that war. Beyond our world laid horrors and truths we were not yet prepared for. After all this we had once again been thrown into a dark age with no will to fight. In the end this was the beginning of the end for humanity…

Hello, I'm 28f and I have my very first kidney stone. On 5/7 I felt slight cramping in my back and thought it was my period, then some blood in my urine, again thought it was my period. Then awoke at 1am Wed in excruciating pain and thought I was dying. Called 911 then the cramping went away so i told them i was ok. I thought for sure a uti. Went to work no problem Wed. Woke Thursday with the same pain and went to the er to find out i have a 3mm kidney stone. They gave me nothing while I was there but prescribed me Flomax, naproxen for pain and zylotol for nausea. It is now the following Monday and it's been hell. Friday I was fine then Saturday night I was in so much pain, throwing up, crying. I was in hell. I was cramping on and off all day Sunday till this morning. The more I read the more I get scared. I just want this over with. I don't want to have to get surgery (never had one) iv been taking shots of lemon juice and lots of water. Hot baths and showers. Is there anything else that can help and please tell me there is some end in near sight...?