Lennox financial mortgage

I need a few perspectives on this.
I just bought a house, and my partner who had no involvement in the home purchase will be moving in soon.
We just decided on this a couple days ago, and haven't had the full conversation on finances. He makes around 85k a year and I make around 115k a year, so I made the assumption that he would naturally pay less then me, proportional to income. However during this conversation he made a comment that threw me off a bit - he said "I assume I'll pay less since you are benefitting financially by paying into the mortgage, while I am not."
That sounds true, however after a recent experience I feel that its not as true as it seems. I owned a house with my ex partner, and gave it up to him during the split. After crunching all the numbers for my equity in the house, he ended up paying me out only SLIGHTLY more than my portion of the initial down payment, after 5 years of living there. Basically, I had just paid "rent" during this time, since it was all going towards paying off interest. No returns from that investment.
I am totally comfortable with paying more of the monthly mortgage right now, since it was my decision to buy this house and I make more. I don't expect a 50/50 split in relationship and want to work together. However, he has a big raise coming up and at some point may even make more than me. At that time I would like to split the mortgage and be clear about that, but is that fair logic? I would continue to pay for repairs myself.
The way I see it, houses are not a great investment, at least not in the first 10 years. They are simply housing. I put an incredible amount of money into this, and am paying for insurance, property taxes, and repairs. I am taking on a lot of risk. I also will benefit from the appreciation in value I suppose, but in my experience that pretty much comes out even.
How do I create a situation that is fair for both of us? Any thoughts on this? I don't want either one of us to feel taken advantage of a few years down the line. At the end of the day, we will both be living in the same place, getting equal amounts of space. I don't intend to pull any "rank".

Hi there wonderful Reddit strangers. Thank you in advance for any assistance or guidance you can provide. First, what I would like to accomplish; second, my current life and financial situation; and third, my questions:
What I Want to Accomplish
I want to "soft retire" by 55. I'm currently 40. Upon retirement, I want to cut my work hours to 20 or so per week, and spend a good deal of time traveling.
My Current Life & Financial Situation
I'm married, my wife and I are both 40, and we have no children. We will not be having children. We live in Charlotte, NC. I own a law firm and I teach entrepreneurship at a local university, part-time. My wife has been unemployed for a bit, but she just graduated with her Masters in Social Work, and she is beginning a part-time job as a mental health counselor in the next month.
First, income. My 2023 employment-based income:

• $100,000 in salary from my law firm
• $360,000 in distributions from my law firm
• $5,000 or so from teaching

I expect my income to grow each year, possibly by 10-15% or so, year-over-year. My field is recession-proof, generally, and we're working on growing the firm by adding more lawyers each year. We have 6 now (after 2 years of operation) and we'd like to ultimately have 12. I have one law partner that I split all firm profits with, 50/50.
When my wife begins work in the next month (1099 independent contractor), she will make around $20,000 / year.
Other than my job, I own a rental property, but I rent it to friends of mine who are wonderful tenants. They pay me just a bit more than the $1,700 mortgage each month, although I could get around $2,300 / month if I were to rent it out at market rate to someone else. They've lived there for 3+ years and I've never had to do anything to maintain or repair the property--they take good care of it and pay rent. My rental property is a wash and I break about even.
Second, assets and liabilities. My current assets and liabilities are:

Description	Asset Value	Debt
Primary Residence	$715,000	$315,000 (3.63% APR, 30 year mortgage, with 26 years left)
Rental Property (across the street)	$550,000	$218,000 (3.75% APR, 30 year mortgage, with 22 years left)
2024 BMW	$60,000	$0 (purchased in cash)
Mutual Funds managed by Financial Advisor	$381,000	$0
SoFi Savings Account (4.75% APR)	$83,000	$0 (we were saving money to buy a second home in NYC, but now we're saving to add on to our current home, see below)
IRA (rolled over from 401k with my previous employer)	$97,000	$0
My 401k	$56,000	$0
Wife's 401k	$43,000	$0
Ally Savings Account (4.75% APR, and I'm using this money exclusively to assist my aging parents, who are in ill health)	$62,000	$0
Chase Bank checking and savings	$50,000	$0
Wife's student loan	N/A	$28,000 (unknown interest rate because she graduated recently, but the are federally subsidized loans)
TOTAL	$2,097,000	$561,000

Re: retirement savings, I started late in life. Because I don't have much knowledge re: retirement savings, I hired a financial advisor. The advisor charges 1% of all investments I have with him, each year, as a management fee. My wife and I are both employed by the firm, and we max out our 401k each year. I also deposit $10,000 into my brokerage account each month, for investment by my financial advisor. The money is invested in a mix of funds and has grown very well in the last couple of years.
Finally, we have a couple of expenditures I expect to incur in the next 2 years. Our home is relatively small and not well suited for 2 people working from home. Therefore, we intend to undertake a $500,000 renovation in the next year or so. Other than this, my wife and I moved to Charlotte from New York, so we'd like to spend more time in NYC. This may mean renting an apartment there in the next 2 years, or so. We would spend around $4,000/month renting a place (we looked at buying and it was insanely expensive, and more reasonable to rent because we can stop renting at the end of any lease term). If we rented a place in NYC, we would spend no more than 6 months there, to avoid paying state or city taxes in NY.
My Questions
When I met with my financial planner initially, they gave me some incredibly high and unobtainable amount of money that I would need to retire (something like $11,000,000). I don't agree with their number and I'm trying to dial in on what exactly I will need to retire. My plan is to "soft retire" at 55. That likely means working part-time as a lawyer and teacher. I would expect to make around $200,000 or so (net, today's dollars) working part-time, upon retirement at 55. So my first question: what amount of money will I need to "soft retire," at 55? Let's assume my wife and I, combined, will spend around $150,000 per year upon "soft retirement." So effectively, we can live off of my income and bank $50,000 or so for further retirement savings, each year, upon soft retirement at 55.
My rental house is another conundrum for me. I could sell my rental house upon "hard retirement" (when I actually stop working), if that makes financial sense. It would give me a big influx of cash for retirement, and the property will likely be worth much more in the future (it's in an incredibly desirable part of Charlotte with insane growth around it). But it could also be a good source of passive income in retirement. So my second question: should I sell my rental house or keep it, and if I should sell it, when?
Assuming all of the above, my third question: at what age could I comfortably "hard retire" (meaning, stop working entirely)? I'd like to do this around 65, if possible.
Finally, my last question: what retirement savings elements am I missing? I'm maxing out 401k and putting $10,000/month into brokerage accounts. Is there anything else I should be doing?
Thank you again, in advance, for any assistance or guidance you can provide me! I appreciate your time!

For some context we aren’t married but have been dating since college for a few years now.
They always wanted to move to a city for maybe 1-2 years and some of our friends already moved. But to me it’s moving for the sake of being somewhere else and not necessarily for a better job or opportunities. I think I’m more open to it if I can find better opportunities but the market sucks these days and I’m not optimistic.
I’ve searched this sub but I think my situation is a bit unique. I own a home where I am now with my family living in it so if I move out I’m still the one paying for everything on top of renting another place in a HCOL city and renting it out is not an option. I also just bought a car and and not done paying it off and won’t be able to bring my car with me.
Financially I’m fortunate to have a lot saved up and make good income (for now and who knows when I’ll be laid off) but I am also in the FIRE camp so doing a move for the sake of it doesn’t sit well with me. I’ll definitely be stretched thin or won’t be able to save much for a while since the combined rent + mortgage + taxes will easily be $6-7k a month.
To add to all this one of my parents just passed away from illness and the surviving parent while physically is ok idk if mentally they’d be okay with me moving. It’s more a cultural thing but it’s weird to move unless you are married for us. And me leaving means my sibling will be the only person living with them which is not the easiest thing either.
AITAH for not wanting to move? Any similar experience? I can’t say I’ll do it 100% if I didn’t have things tying me down but that would certainly help. Any other info that would be helpful to disclose?

So my husband and I started the process of taking out a HELOC for $100,000 to redo our yard. We plan to pay it off in a year or two but the loan term we’re looking at is 30 years. I have not signed the paper work yet because something in my gut is telling me not to. Today my mother in law came over and we were filling her in about the HELOC and renovation plans. She’s very comfortable financially (no mortgage, lots of smart investments, solid retirement funds, etc). Upon hearing our plans, she immediately offered to lend us the money at a “much better interest rate”. My husband quickly declined her offer. After she left, we discussed it and he said he would rather owe money to the bank than borrow it from his mother. I think he is being foolish and reckless. He doesn’t see the big deal as long as we pay off the HELOC in our planned amount of time. I think it’s much more wise to owe money to his mom vs owing it to the bank- he’s being so cavalier about it, like he doesn’t understand the difference. What do I do here? Is there a world where he is right? Regardless, we’d pay a lot more interest on the HELOC than the loan from his mom and we wouldn’t be using our home as collateral. To me, that’s HUGE! I’m just ranting but I’m also looking for some input and points that I can bring to his attention to make him change his mind. Or am I just worrying over nothing?

Michigan credit union won’t release deposit account to beneficiary (me)
I’m posting here because I’ve reached out to about a dozen lawyers over the last half year and they don’t really seem to listen to my story or know how to help. Usually I hear “hm that’s weird” and that’s about it. This is Wayne county Michigan.

1. I want to know if I might have a case and should keep pursuing trying to find a lawyer to take legal action. If I’m wrong then fine I’ll accept it but I’m pretty sure my rights have been violated.
2. What kind of lawyer would be best if I do need one, no offense to the probate lawyers but they seem to not be interested in any sort of arguing and used to just dealing with paperwork, which is fair. So I feel like a different type of lawyer might be fit but I don’t know what kind speciality.

My mom died 2 years ago and my dad died last year, therefore my dad had single party accounts but left me as 100% beneficiary on his deposit account at DFCU Financial credit union. He had a checking account, a deposit savings account with less than 100k in it so not like a huge amount of money compared to some estates, new car loan, a mortgage loan with a balance of about 25% of the homes current value all at this credit union.
The bank refuses to release his bank account to the beneficiary, me, because there’s a mortgage? Was their justification. That I was paying personally after he died and wasn’t past due. It is now 10 months they’ve been hanging on to it and they still refuse to send me paperwork to accept funds as beneficiary. I also think they withdrew about 1/3 of the funds to pay off a car loan that should’ve gone to probate as a debt. This is a big deal to me because my dad had no life insurance, he died young-ish so it was a big funeral expense (hundreds of people came) about 20k and the only money he left to me was in this account. I had to pay for everything out of pocket and I’m in a lot of debt now paying for the funeral on credit and for his home and bills etc. The repairs on his home have amounted to more than 25k too to pass occupancy inspection so I can sell it. So I incurred a significant amount of debt and interest by not having access to these funds is my point here. (Yes I have my own savings account before people tell me I’m financially irresponsible but I have my own mortgage I need to protect and I’m glad I didn’t drain my cash because I also got laid off 2 months after his death. Happy news though I did find a new job last month)
Someone at the bank confirmed over the phone I was 100% sole beneficiary of his accounts and they need to send me forms to accept funds after they receive the death certificate. I agreed and said fine and also informed them the house was left to me in a lady bird enhanced life estate deed so it would go to my name soon and I understand I would be responsible for mortgage too personally and I would pay it monthly while I tried to sell his house. Fiduciary dept then got involved and blocked my emails to that representative who said I was beneficiary, called me next day and essentially said okay but what about the car loan you need to pay it off. I said well I can give you his car to settle that loan but they wanted me to pay the difference. I said no if there is a debt in his name you can request it through probate like every other debt collector has to. They did not like this and immediately hired a lawyer and told me no one at their credit union would talk to me anymore. This all happened within 2 weeks after his death btw and no payments were past due on anything at this time back in July 2023.
So now I had to talk to this outsourced lawyer who made the claim that the credit union had a right to offset the car loan and they will withdraw the money from the bank account that I said they do not have permission to do. Now please listen to my argument on why I think this does not apply before agreeing with the bank first. For additional context, I am a younger adult female grieving her parents if that gives an idea how the bank viewed me.

1. The first issue: the credit union feels that the deposit account can be withdrawn from for loans after the member died and before it is transferred to the beneficiary. I think the bank withdrew money from the account belonging to the beneficiary because I got a letter the car loan was paid off which I did not do. The Michigan legislature they reference only says they have the right to do this if account is past due and says nothing about death. It also says it only applies to a multiple party account, and from the definition I believe my dad’s is a single party account because everything was in his name only. There were no co-signers or extra names on any accounts.
2. Lastly I think the credit union is violating my rights under the Michigan EPIC act to unreasonably withhold funds a beneficiary is entitled to.

REFERENCES 1. 490.361 Capital; share payments; entrance fee; secondary capital; liability of member for acts, debts, or obligations of domestic credit union; placement of lien on member account. https://www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(ne2kize2ihvsfogeoq3lmaq4))/mileg.aspx?page=getObject&objectName=mcl-490-361 this is not applicable for a couple reasons: • This clause only relates to member withdrawing money, not transferring it to a beneficiary. • I am not a member and there is nothing in writing saying my dad is still a member after his death. The estate and the beneficiary of his deposit account are not mutually exclusive since he is deceased. • This withholding is prohibited by state law in violation of the Michigan EPIC act which states that credit unions are responsible to transfer beneficiary funds on death (TOD) and that ownership of accounts are effected upon death. https://www.legislature.mi.gov/documents/mcl/pdf/mcl-Act-386-of-1998.pdf
490.64 Right to set-off or lien 1. Not applicable because it is not a multiple party account here, all accounts and loans were solely in my dads name only, as the clause says it pertains to. a. "490.64 Right to set-off or lien. Sec. 14. Without qualifying any other statutory right to set-off or lien and subject to any contractual provision, when a party to a multiple-party account is indebted to a credit union, the credit union has a right to set-off against the entire amount of the account." 2. 490.57 https://www.legislature.mi.gov/Laws/MCL?objectName=MCL-490-57 states that the beneficiary has rights to any remaining sum upon death, not upon offset. Direct from clause: a. EVEN IF this was a multiple party account, they are still violating this state legislature:
"Trust account; beneficial ownership; death of trustee; survivorship. Sec. 7. An account which states that a party is a trustee for 1 or more other identified persons, including but not limited to minors, is a trust account. Except where there is evidence of a trust other than as provided by the form of the account, the account and any sums withdrawn therefrom are presumed to belong beneficially to the trustee until his death. At the death of the trustee or surviving trustee any sums remaining on deposit are presumed to belong to the person or persons named as beneficiaries, if living, or to the survivor of them if 1 or more have died before the trustee."
At this point I don’t just want the funds released to me I want to sue the credit union and make sure they don’t do this to more grieving people. Am I wrong or do I have a right to sue them since I’m not a member? If you made it this far thanks for reading my story.

Hi Guys, I have a bit of an odd situation. So me (26M) have been living on my own for the past 2 years. I've been living with my mom before that. Now my mom and I have never been in a financially good place, but we have always been well off, if I wanted something, like a present. or camp or what not. I was able to go. But now, when I was 23-24, my mom asked me for money. Not money I had, but money out of my credit card. I had pretty good credit score. so my credit card limit was pretty high for a 23 year old. And because my mom was a financial advisor she taught me how to properly manage my mom. Little did I know what she did to me.
So she asks me for 1442 first, then 1430, then 5190, 4500, 4500, on one credit card. then 9000 out of another credit card. plus there were loans from manulife bank that were under my name that I didn't know about. I didn't really realize the amount until I started receiving phone calls from collection agencies wondering why I wasn't making my payments, and when I confront my mother, she just responded with "we will figure it out"
I should probably mention that the place I am currently living in, I own. I have taken a mortgage out on it around 360,000. Valuing at 600,000. But she got my to sign a second mortgage when I was 24 valuing at 240,000. So there isn't any equity in my place anymore.
I have recently signed a CP to help with all this debt, me living on my own and living paycheck is too much. I was wondering if there's anything more I can do to get out of this situation, if there is. What would it be.
Thank you and sorry for the long post
TLDR: My mom fucked me over when I was younger and now I'm paying for it.

I need advice on how to deal with my situation appropriately and it’s been going on for awhile now. It seems to be getting worse each time.
I’m almost 22 and have been married since 2021. My Husband and I have a beautiful 2 year old Daughter. Back when I first met my husband I was 18 and had gotten kicked out of my house (my mom and I had a bad relationship at the time) Having nowhere to go my now husband asked his parents if I could stay with them. He was 19 at the time and had just came back from Army Basic Training. His Dad didn’t have a problem with it but his Mom didn’t want me there and I didn’t know it at that time but I never resented her for that especially now as a Mom myself. I wasn’t talking to my Mom or any of my family at the time. I really appreciated them taking me in. I was very shy and didn’t talk much. It was a new environment for me. He told his parents everything. They seemed to have a really close bond. We sat at the dinner table every night with them. It was all new for me and naturally I felt like a burden.
My Mom called out of the blue and my Husband convinced me to answer and talk things out. My mom apologized for everything and she seen that I went to the doctor from an email she had gotten and she knew I was pregnant. When my Husband and I found out we decided we wanted to move to Florida so he could start a career and become a cop eventually so he applied for correctional officer jobs in Fl. My mom knew and she had to take me to my appointments while we still lived in Nc because my husband worked and I didn’t have a car. My husband’s sister knew because he couldn’t keep it from her. His sister told their Grandpa and even told their Mom “I won’t say yes, but I won’t say no” when asked if I was pregnant. We didn’t tell his parents because almost everyday was a lecture about how we better not get pregnant and she would constantly ask if I was taking birth control. She said a few times that she’d “kick our ass” if she found out we were. I didn’t know them well enough to feel comfortable telling them and my Husband just didn’t want a lecture about something we wanted. We were 18 and 19. Yes, that’s super young but we talked about starting a family and moving away and starting a life together. He wanted to be a cop and I wanted to Stay home and raise babies.
So my family got together to throw us a going away party/gender reveal party and also that’s the day my husband proposed to me. His parents knew about the engagement (which btw I later found out his mom didn’t approve when he first told them he wanted to marry me) but they still didn’t know we were pregnant. At this point I felt like his parents liked me and I really liked them. We moved to Fl and his parents even volunteered to put a down payment on a house if we pay the mortgage and eventually buy it from them. We were incredibly grateful. I was actually shocked they offered. I wasn’t there when they talked it over but my Husband and I were planning to rent somewhere before they came up with this idea. His Mom did make comments to people that it was going to be their vacation home and also telling us that the spare room in the house would be their room when they come down Meanwhile, we knew the spare room would be our future child’s room and It did make me a little uncomfortable about it all but I was still trying to show respect and gratitude.
We were staying in an airbnb until the house closed and we got married at a courthouse shortly after and that’s when he called his parents and told them we were pregnant. Naturally they were upset and felt left out and I felt bad but they put some much pressure on us. After that we made the announcement publicly to all friends and family that we were expecting a baby and everything seemed fine. His Mom and Dad were happy, My parents were happy. My mom did later on. tell me that my Husband’s Mom called her telling her that she was going to be in charge of the baby shower since we left her out and that she was owed the right to be there for the first ultrasound for the next baby and she was making my mom feel like she couldn’t be involved in the baby shower, but it didn’t work out the way she wanted because I was the one that planned my own baby shower and my Mom stayed there all night making desserts and that I am sure made her mad when she could’ve went there and helped my mom that night and since then it felt like my Husband’s Mom didn’t like mine.
Slowly I started to realize that they didn’t respect us. For a few examples, lecturing us over and over about something, calling telling us to do things that didn’t concern them something as simple as sending an important paper in the mail, or fixing our car. if we didn’t agree with them, we just said OK to them we never talked back or argued. I told them that I didn’t want anyone at the house when we had our daughter and they came down to stay for a week and she was trying so hard to stay for me to go into labor when my own mom couldn’t make it down to be there. I just wanted it to be me and my Husband because by that point we found out that he was going to deploy two months after we were going to have our baby for a whole year and I wanted that time with just him. luckily, I went into labor the day after they got back home.
He deployed when our daughter was only a month and a half old and I went to live with his parents for a year because I couldn’t be by myself. I didn’t know anyone I had no family or friends down in Florida, so I just wanted some emotional support during that time two months postpartum with a newborn, and I had a fear of driving. sorry, I started regretting that decision because I felt judged and uncomfortable and unwelcome. They would say little out-of-the-way things to me and make me feel like what I was going through, wasn’t a reason to feel the way I did. I had no motivation I was depressed and I was homesick but I still got up every day and took care of my baby. I never needed their help taking care of her. I just wanted people to talk to when I was having anxiety or when my husband and I were going through problems. she never wanted to be comforting during our fights. She would always tell me or my husband that we weren’t gonna make it and we were gonna end up getting a divorce and she even told me one time that she would not let our daughter grow up around that meaning us arguing when we were going through a long-distance relationship and having a hard time. while living with her, she told me that I needed to get off my phone and pay more attention to our daughter even though it wasn’t like I was neglecting her, I would just do things to keep my mind busy when my daughter was content and didn’t need me. my husband was overseas so we had different time zone so I had to adjust to that while taking care of a baby. I constantly felt judged by them. I didn’t like driving so I would always DoorDash things I needed. I bought everything that my daughter needed. I bought breakfast and lunch for us. The only thing that they provided was dinner.
my mother-in-law’s aunt lived right next-door and she would asked me to go out and run errands with her all the time and it helped me get out of the house. We would go grocery shopping together and she took me anywhere i needed to go. we had good conversations and it was a way to bring us closer. she was really there for me when no one else was emotionally . multiple times while living with them. They would ignore me when I would ask for my daughter back tell me “no it’s okay” they got her or when she was screaming they thought that they could comfort her more than I could and they would not hand her back to me.
I’m sorry this is super freaking long but fast forward to May of last year.
my sister-in-law, and I have the same birthday and she lives in North Carolina and at this time his parents live in Tennessee they took off work to go down to North Carolina to spend time with their daughter on her birthday but she decided to go to the beach so they took the opportunity to come down to Florida for my birthday and I was already upset that my family couldn’t be there but I decided to try and enjoy it. we had been arguing with his parents a week before, and I didn’t want them to come down and continue to argue with us and ruin my birthday and that’s exactly what happened the day after my birthday they were outside washing our house because they said it was really dirty and we went next-door to swim for 20 minutes.
We came back and they were so mad and said that we needed to get rid of our dog, because it chewed the table they gave us, and before we had time to even react, she told us the table was destroyed, and we need to figure something out about the dog so we went in and saw that the leg of the table was chewed, and our dog was in a cage shaking with P all over the house. We were upset because they were demanding that we get rid of our dog before even trying to talk it out like adults and for us to actually feel sorry about what had happened we let it go for a little bit and I was in my room on the phone with my mom and that’s when I heard my husband and his dad getting into an argument. His dad was cussing him and my husband walked through our room to go outside because we were grilling out and his dad followed so I told my mom that I would have to call her back at that same moment my husbands mom open the door and demanded that I get outside and listen to what they had to say. I didn’t say anything I just walked outside and they bashed for everything, our financial struggles, the fact that I didn’t take Mother’s Day to go get cookies to my husband’s grandma in a nursing home
I was shaking so bad I was so upset that they were just yelling and screaming and bashing us, and I was just sitting there quiet not saying anything back. I finally had enough and I started standing up for myself, saying that I didn’t appreciate how they didn’t care about my feelings so they asked me to give them examples. I told them whenever I had my wedding, I also had a miscarriage and I didn’t feel comfortable with one of my sister-in-law‘s friends coming, and I was made out to be the bad guy, and they only thought about her and how I ended up giving in and letting her come because I didn’t want her sitting at a hotel by herself so I was still thinking about someone else’s feelings, but no one was thinking about mine and how I was going through a hard time and they of course shut that down and gave excuses.
I gave them another example about how Christmas of 2022 was going to be mine and my husband and daughter‘s first Christmas ever together because he was deployed for our daughter’s first Christmas my dad had also died December 5 of 2022 and I was also supposed to be pregnant by that time but I lost the baby. I didn’t even get to get anything out and explain my side. The only thing I could get out was “like Christmas-“ and she started waving her hands and screaming and sayin “my son was deployed for a year and I lost my dad”(he died in 2019) I was taken back, but I calmly said” my dad died too” and she fires back and yells. “Yeah, but mine was my life “ I shut down after that how dare she say that and try to one up me ? because my dad had just died a few weeks before that Christmas that we were talking about but she made it about her, which honestly proves my point when I told him they didn’t care about my feelings. She turns around and attacks me and makes it about her but I didn’t even have time to explain that I just wanted Christmas morning to be a tradition with my family. My daughter and my husband and I was going through a hard time anyways, so I was trying to say that it upset me that they made it out to people like we didn’t even want them there when they spent a week with us before Christmas. They live 7 hours away so we can’t have the normal grandparents come over Christmas afternoon like everyone else in my family can’t come over for Christmas morning so they shouldn’t be able to either and the point at the end of the day is that we were that’s what we wanted as a family of three to have Christmas mornings with our daughter.
she didn’t talk to me for the rest of that day and the next day they had left early to go see my husband’s grandma at the nursing home that they moved her to and my mother-in-law texted my husband and asked if we wanted to meet them for lunch so we did I said right across from her in a booth and she didn’t even look at me once or speak to me at all when my daughter‘s food came out it was hot so I put it closer to me to try to break up her food and let it cool down each time she would pull it away from me because my daughter was sitting next to her. I would pull it back and take out the bag of chips and then she would pull it back I would pull it back and dump out her green beans and she would take it back. She did it 3 times all while not looking at me and I still was the bigger person and didn’t say anything and continue to act like nothing happened
when we got back to our house, I went to my screen porch for the rest of the time that they were there. My husband and his parents were in our kitchen and when they were ready to leave my husband came and got me and told me that I should come say goodbye, so I stood in the driveway while my husband, my daughter and his parents all laughed, hugged and kissed and said goodbyes, and then she walks up to me and speaks like a robot in a way of not even wanting to come up to me, like it was bothering her that she even had to speak to me and she just said “bye. Love you” in a really rude way over something that she said to me and it’s funny too because in her hand was a homemade Mother’s Day gift that I made her but she’s going to talk to me like that, and ignore me and treat me like that over her yelling at me and putting me down about my pain with my dad. After they pulled out of the driveway , I went back to the screen porch and cried because that’s the first time I fully felt like I wasn’t part of their family and she showed her true colors once I tried to stand up for myself about her being disrespectful to me when for the three years that I’ve been with my husband at this point, I’ve never spoken back to her or disrespected her
for days they ignored us, and I just cried over my dad because he’s gone and it was like throwing my grief in my face and my husband finally told his mom that she needed to apologize to me. She called him and asked to speak to him alone, and I later found out that she was saying that I took everything the wrong way and she didn’t mean it like that. Finally she text me and basically tells me the same thing that she wasn’t saying anything about my relationship with my dad. She was simply saying why she needed Christmas morning with her family. I didn’t accept her apology because it was basically making excuses, but I decided not to hold her accountable and I just simply explain to her that Christmas has never been the same for me since my grandparents died and then I just wanted that special moment with my daughter especially now that my dad it was gone and I moved on from it I for gave her a few months after this happened she came down for my daughters birthday, and it was still awkward and I was still a little hurt by the way she treated me, but I was trying to MoveOn for it for my husband and daughter sake, and even my own.
After May 2023 it seemed like things were going good they would call and the conversations were nice they weren’t lecturing. We finally thought they learned their lesson after the big blowup in May but then fast forward to April 2024.
they came down suddenly in April after coming down a few weeks before just to visit because my husband’s grandma wasn’t doing too good she was in the hospital and they were preparing for her to pass away. I was taking ovulation medication because we were trying to have another baby. I felt very hung over sound out am I anxiety was the worst it has ever been I would cry almost every night because I would almost go into panic attacks so while they were here, I stopped taking the medicine and was still suffering side effects so I try to stay out of the way because I know they were grieving and everything was happening so suddenly for them and I wanted to be there to support my husband, his work schedule was so messed up that he only had a few hours after waking up to be able to go to the hospital before having to leave for work until 1 AM in the morning so I was never able to go with him to see his grandma, but he asked me if he thought she was about to die if I would go with her and I said of course. Well she passed away before we can make it to the hospital and I know everyone was devastated. This was a day after Easter. My husband had to work on Easter so before we even knew the condition of his grandma’s health, we plan to have our own Easter and egg hunt the day after Easter because my husband would be off work, and that is the day that she passed away so I told my husband that we could cancel our egg hunt and he said no because he wanted to be there with our daughter and enjoy that time. I also invited his parents because I thought it would be good for them to get their mind off of things, and I made a bunch of desserts, including homemade cookies that his mother had asked me to make weeks before this for the next time they came down we grilled out and there was gonna be plenty of food for them and I wanted that time with them as well, but I respected that they needed time to themselves after his dad had just lost his mother.
they had been staying in a hotel, the whole time they were here but the day after she passed away, they came over that morning, and our house was a mess because we had a cookout the night before, and my husband was grieving and upset and we were just too tired to clean and we were planning to get it the next morning They wanted to take our daughter to the park and Dairy Queen and we were going to stay back because we both weren’t feeling too well and we were going to clean the house but before they left my husband’s Dad told us “I wish I would come with us.” so my husband told him that we would get ready and meet him there and that’s exactly what we did. We had lunch with them and the little things like forcing her to eat a hamburger when I told him that she like chicken nuggets or taking her drink away and telling her she’s not feeling up on a drink that she’s going to eat always bothered me and there’s always done it but I knew that at this time it wasn’t my opportunity to stand up because he just lost his mom and I didn’t want to start anything not that I would’ve been rude about it but they never take it for what it is. It’s disrespect if we stand up or tell them we don’t like what they’re doing but I told my husband that what happened in May would never happen again.
we were driving my mom’s truck because my husband‘s truck was in the shop and we went to a thrift store while his parents took our daughter to the park at the thrift store. I found an angel that I wanted to gift his dad to show sympathy. I got a few little toys for my daughter to so when we left we were on our way to meet them at the park and that’s when the mechanic called my husband and said his truck was ready. He called his mom to ask if his dad would follow him and get the truck and if his mom will drive my mom’s truck back home because I was under the influence with the side effects of the medication. She then asked if I couldn’t just make it to the park and the mechanics is right behind the park so of course I could have, but I didn’t see the difference of them going to getting it when we were ready to leave the park together or us going and getting it so we went to the park instead so I could give my daughter her toys.
while I was in the truck getting the gifts out for my husband’s dad, my husband went over to explain that I would just feel more comfortable if they went and got the truck because I was under the influence and later on I found out that his mom said “no she’s not, and saying that I was lying” but when I got out of the truck, she was talking all nice to me and explaining that my husband and my father-in-law we’re going to go get his truck and she even told me to watch my daughter for a second while she went and grabbed her drink out of the car and hit my head. I thought that was crazy that she told me to watch my own daughter, but she those are the little things that I let go and let her say because there’s no point of talking back. It always will start something.
if you’re with me so far, this is the end in our current situation. We all got back home and they walked in and saw that our puppy Peed on the floor and they got mad. We tried to let it go because my father-in-law‘s mom just died and there’s no sense of getting into an argument. We went to our neighbors to give them desserts that I had made for a cookout because I didn’t want them to go to waste while we were there. His mom texted him asking if our daughter could spend the night with them in a hotel when we thought they were staying with us first I didn’t say no I just said where is she going to sleep and they said in the bed with us I didn’t like that. I wanted her to be in a crib so we said no but we even called the hotel to ask if they had cribs to rent because somebody in the hotel said no so we were trying to compromise. We got back to our house and they were so mad. They were ready to leave without saying bye his dad was already in the car and his mom was walking out the door and didn’t really wanna speak to us. We asked her what the issue was and they went off. He went to the car to talk to his dad. his dad screamed at him and drove off. I was so upset because there was no reason to treat us like that when we have boundaries with our daughter and they were supposed to stay with us, but they decided that they were too upset about the dog peeing, and that our house was a little messy from the night before that they wanted to stay in a hotel, and they wanted to take our daughter too.
The next day I had an eye doctors appointment that I scheduled months in advance, and my husband had a job interview and they did not communicate when they were coming over so my husband was already gone and I was about to walk out the door. My husband’s grandpa lives right next-door because we moved him down here a few months ago and they were out there talking to him so I let my daughter go say bye to them and they didn’t speak to me at all. again the same treatment like back in May how she didn’t even want to look in my direction or speak to me so I left and they then texted my husband how I just took off with my own daughter, so there was no reason to stick around blaming me, of course.
I understand that his dad was going through a hard time but my husband also just lost his grandma and that just so happen to be my dad‘s birthday. I wasn’t going to make it about me of course not but I still didn’t wanna get yelled at on my dad‘s birthday I wanted to remember him and have a good day. I texted his mom three days after the incident. Nothing about the text was rude. I just told her that I was blown way by the disrespect and I didn’t like how they treated us. I brought back up me and how it was unfair that she thinks she can continue to yell and scream at us and ignore us. she read it and instantly called my husband and tried to bash me and I tried to speak up and she shut me up telling me that she was talking to her son not me my husband told her not to speak to his wife that way and she tries to bash me and say that I didn’t even want to say sorry to my father-in-law for his loss when I tried to do little things like buy him that angel and make cookies for them and I made a grocery order the night they came down and I clean the house and I was expecting to cook dinner for them and host them but they stayed in a hotel the whole time
she bashed us saying that we didn’t even offer them a shower, or anything to drink or anything to eat when they came home but right when we walked in the door is when they started yelling and lecturing us about dog pee, and it went downhill from there so we didn’t even have time to offer anything that they wanted or needed but every time they come over they make themselves at home because their name is on the deed even though we pay for the home, they act like it’s their home and they do whatever they please, so there was no reason we felt like we needed to assist them to the shower or ask if they needed anything even though that morning they got there She asked if I had any Dr Pepper and I said no that I had Sprite and she didn’t want that so at this point she’s just trying to make us look bad like it was our fault and they didn’t feel welcome here so that’s why they went to a hotel that night.
she was so rude and making excuses and disrespecting me not wanting me to talk to her. She kept saying she wanted to talk to her son and not me and she even called me a little girl at that point I had enough I was finally standing up for myself after four years of my mother-in-law saying out-of-the-way things to me and putting me down and lecturing me, I finally had enough I never cussed once at her I never cussed on her because I respect her enough, but I finally had enough of shutting my mouth and letting her talk to me anyway she want it. I told her she was not gonna call me a little girl and that she was going to hear from me because she’s bashing me to my husband, I tried to explain my side, but she kept on and on accusing us and saying that we were the reason for all of this and that they did nothing wrong and keep in mind, we have never raised our voice to them. We have never cussed at them we have never told them. Hey you’re wrong we don’t agree we just let them have their way and we were done May 2023 was our breaking point even though then we still were respectful, this time we weren’t gonna let them have their way and feel like they were right
The next week my husband went to go pick up his grandma’s ashes because before the fight that was the arrangements because they had to go back home to Tennessee he called the funeral home and they said that the day before his mom called and told them that they were coming down for the weekend to get them but they said nothing about that to us and at this point he hasn’t spoken to his dad in a week. he told his mom that he didn’t even feel welcome at the funeral, and that it really upset him. His mom told him that I had nothing to do with the fight, and that his dad simply just wanted his mothers ashes and she made excuses of course later that day she calls and I heard everything she said even though she thought I wasn’t around and she continue to bash me over and over about how everything was my fault, and I never wanted them around our daughter or to have a relationship with her.
it was extremely hard for me to keep my mouth shut for an entire hour when someone’s making things up and bashing you she think those want to say that she’s sick and tired of me calling her a liar, which I’m never said hey you’re a liar I just said that her apology wasn’t sincere and she continued to say that I took it the wrong way when she was bashing me about my dad and tell her that’s calling her a liar because she continues to say she didn’t mean it like that but the reason I brought back up made her was to say she thinks she can continue to talk to me that way and get away with it and that I was tired of it. my husband try to stand up for me and tell her how it made me feel like she was comparing my pain to hers about my dad and then she makes the snarky remark” I actually had a relationship with Mine”. she was talking about her relationship with her dad and comparing it to mine so again she’s throwing up my pain and trying to one up me and again argue on why she should’ve been there Christmas morning and she even said” I was explaining what I needed Christmas morning with my son and his daughter” His daughter???!
after that phone call, everything seem to be fine with his parents and my husband but she was still ignoring me. She wouldn’t call or message me and apologize or even explain herself. She just wanted to bash me to my husband and now everything was cool with them and they came down for a weekend to get my husband’s grandma‘s ashes and they went to the park with my husband and daughter and I decided to stay home because I didn’t want anything to go down and I be blamed for ruining that hard time for his family. My husband said they didn’t even ask about me and I know that they were happy that I wasn’t around because she made a post about how she just needed that time with her son and granddaughter, and everything was worded perfectly but I know that that was a dig at me and every time I would post something about the way I was feeling just little quotes that I see she would always post something as if she was speaking to me. it didn’t matter if it was something to do with disrespect or my daughter, or supporting my husband she would always find a post to relate it about what I’m posting. stuff like “no one could love her children the way she does” when I would post about how I love my husband and that I am there to support him
ever since then she has been calling my husband to bash me and come up with a new reasons on why I am the bad guy and I’m sick of it so if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading my story because I don’t even know what to do at this point my husband wants to cut her off maybe not forever but he wants her to understand that she can’t keep treating me like this and even treating him like this because the last phone call was two days ago when we thought everything was at least cool with my husband and his parents even though I knew she still had a problem with me over things she said to me she calls him and bashes me and tells my husband that he’s not standing up for his parents and that that’s wrong and that that is his blood family and that he should be the hero and fix everything or she’s not gonna want to be around me
i’ve read a bunch of other stories about toxic in-laws, and there’s a lot that are way worse than my situation but I’ve had enough of her talking to me anyway she wants, putting me down, lecturing me, throwing my dad’s death in my face as if her relationship was greater and her pain is worse and I’m just sick of it because I can’t even look at pictures of my dad without crying and regretting and it’s really hard to stand up for myself when someone bashes me and makes themself the victim when I know for a fact, the last four years I’ve been nothing but kind to her. Yes, she has done things for me, but when she treats me bad, she uses that as a way to say “look at everything I’ve done for her and she wants to treat me like this?” just because I stand up for myself when she yells at me and I don’t know what to do so if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I need help

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Hi all - I'm currently in the process of buying my first place in London, and have been able to secure a fairly strong 5.5x multiplier on my base salary (5x-ish on TC) on a mortgage. I've also found some a 2-bed place in Zone 1 that fits my spec, which is:

• Get 1 lodger in by default, and use this to cover ~40% of the mortgage cost
• Mortgage less 1 lodger would be roughly 30% of my net monthly take-home
• In case I lose my job over the next couple years, I can take in a second lodger at which point lodger income would cover ~75% of the monthly mortgage outgoings

Question: is this scheme entirely over-leveraged? I really like the vibe of the place I'm in the process of looking into, and on paper the numbers add up and make a compelling case vis-a-vis the alternative (i.e., continuing to rent in the free market), and provide a net strengthening of my financial position (i.e. the rental value of the property being higher than the monthly outgoing mortgage rates). I love housesharing so I have no qualms about continuing to do so in the long term.
My worries are:

• I discover that taking in lodgers is banned in some leasehold statutes / archaic statute law etc.
• Rental market in London crashes, leaving my net position less well off than had I continued renting
• Rental market in London slows down, and I have trouble finding tenants to move in, leading to reduced occupancy and strained finances

Is there something that I'm missing? I've always only looked at 2-beds from the financial sustainability / sharing point of view, but why am I the only person I know looking into this as an option?
Thanks in advance!

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33, Married, 1 kid, rather ‘ok-ed’ salaried employee
RM1.5 mil debt; 2 housing loans (1mil, 400k) and a 120k car that translates to about 4.5k for mortgage (joint loan for 1 house so my wife pays 50% of it) and 1.5k for car loan
200k savings in ASB (dipped into savings for house upkeep, downpayments, and other big ticket items), kid has separate savings amounting to about 100k in ASB and SSPN (wife has about 200k too). I have some money here and there but wouldn’t consider it substantial, which is partially crypto, koperasi, P2P lending, etc. including some other balances in insurance accounts
2 cars (bought in 2021 and 2023), 1 fully paid off car to make room for 2nd house commitment. I am renting 1 of my house for 1.5k, which basically nets off my car loan.
I barely can save each month anymore because after loans and other fixed expenses, I would say I have about 1-2k for day-to-day expenses. Apart from the joint loan, my spouse doesn’t have any commitments and while I don’t ask for any money/expense contribution, spouses disposable income would be about 2.5k/month.
Question: thinking about selling off 1 car to downgrade my lifestyle and ‘cash-out’ on the value of the car to add in savings. I am contemplating for professional financial advice but I’ve always felt I didn’t need it. Now that my take home pay is basically non existent, thought it would be a good idea to revisit the option. Has anyone had positive experience (and what do they help with exactly)? Should I be worried about my financial situation?

For those of you that may remember my post from earlier this month, I have more to share, and it just keeps getting better *eyeroll and sigh*
So, I didn't talk about this in the previous posts, because the money involved is not owed to me in any way, and also I already felt like MIL was being shady, so I wanted to see how the whole situation played out.
For context, MIL and her aunt were SUPER close. MIL's aunt was married and had a son, who MIL is also close with. MIL's aunt passed in 2012, and MIL and her uncle became a team when it came to taking care of her cousin, who we will call T. T is on the spectrum and had MS and needed full time care. MIL's uncle took care of T until he literally could not, and then T went into assisted living. MIL uncle passed about 5 years ago, and MIL became in charge of the estate and T. She also had power of attorney for EVERYTHING.
MIL was in charge of everything, including the condo MIL's uncle had bought after he had sold the family home once he had placed T into assisted living. Once Uncle had passed, MIL sublet for the monthly income needed to keep T at the facility he was in. (the condo is located in San Mateo, CA where rent averages 4k a month for a 2 bedroom apartment) T eventually passed away a week before Christmas last year. And this is where the drama begins...
So, as I have mentioned before, DH and I have been struggling financially. COVID hit us hard. DH was a sheetmetal journeyman, but with everything being shut down, it quickly became apparent that this field was not going to bounce back any time soon. The union was not helpful AT ALL, so DH decided to leave the field and since he already had a BS, was able to become a substitute quickly. He had experience teaching when he was younger, and he quickly decided to become a SPED teacher. Before COVID I had not been working, per doctor's suggestion. Once DH decided to not go back to construction, I found a WFH position and we limped along financially. MIL and BIL did help us out, being a sub and student pays WAY less than being a journeyman. Eventually DH became a SPED paid student teacher through his MS program and though money was still tight, we were attempting to manage. He graduated this month, and is about to get his credential this summer. (I am SO PROUD)
Fast forward to about 6 months before T passed, MIL and DH had lunch and they discussed money. MIL told DH that once T passed, the will indicates that the money from the condo would be split into thirds, to her, DH and BIL. MIL also told DH that BIL was going to not take his 3rd, to make sure that DH and I we're "taken care of" (her words) When DH relayed this all to me, I (being a distrustful person) asked if DH had proof of BIL not wanting his share. I found that hard to believe a parent of 2 kids would say no to a 1/3 of a decent amount of money....DH was adamant that BIL and MIL only had our best intentions at heart...As I have no claim to the money, I kept my judgements to myself, for the time being.
So, T passes, and of course things regarding death take time, and the condo needs to be cleaned and evaluated for sale...etc. MIL was really tight lipped about the whole process, and I mentioned to DH that he should find out what the next steps were to the process, he's named in the will, per MIL. MIL keeps saying things are fine, moving along...She'll update us when there is one...etc.
I'm sure you can guess where this is going, right?
So even as recently as the nightmare trip to Tahoe, MIL never really said anything about the condo, only that she sold it to one of her former students that she became very close with. The condo had been appraised and the student was able to pay the appraisal amount. Awesome. Great. Once the rest of the mortgage on the condo was paid off, the amount to split would be about 160k each. The condo was closing right after we got back from Tahoe, and so I thought Matt would get his check within a week or 2.
NOPE.
So as ya'll know I emailed MIL on the Monday after we got back, and the squabble that ensued happened a few days later.
MIL finally got around to actually responding to my email, and dropped her bomb. The email basically guilted me for setting up boundaries, and she doesn't under stand how we keep getting into debt, but all she can do is give BIL and DH 40k each, and then she is keeping the rest for her needs. There was a few more passive aggressive guilting comments for setting boundaries, and that was it. Also, this email had ONLY been sent to me, not to DH.
Obviously , DH was really upset. And conveniently MIL is out of the country for the week right now, so he can't even reach out to her. I am livid too, and it has been a tough couple of days. What makes it even worse, is after a quick records search, we found that there was never a will, and MIL was in control of everything. She never intended on splitting the money equally, she just wanted to lord it over us. A call to BIL confirmed that he had no idea that MIL was going to do this, but in true entitled BIL fashion, he made DH feel bad about his feelings, telling him "we all have lied to each other". Of course BIL doesn't care, he's the golden child, Covid didn't affect him at all, and he and my SIL have their heads up MIL's ass. *eyeroll*
DH and I have decided that depending on how MIL acts when she comes home, decides on what we do. Since we can't believe anything she says, clearly, if she does cough up the 40k at least, we will go low contact. We won't block anyone, or ghost. We won't be doing any family functions though for the foreseeable future. We already live a 45 minute car ride away and they don't ever come here, so it's not likely for us to run into them. If MIL lies again, and we don't get the money, we are going full NC.
At the end of the day, I have DH's back, and he and I are on the same page. I know we will be okay. My heart breaks for him. He is going through it, especially that MIL lied to his face more than once. Trust is a big thing with DH, it cuts deep.
If you finished this, thanks for letting me vent, you are a rock star!
TLDR: MIL is a liar, and we are done with her shenanigans.

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-Get $50 when you open and deposit at least $100 in a No Fee Chequing Account, High Interest Savings Account within six months after account opening, and keep $100 or more in the account for at least 30 days.
-OR get $50 when you use or spend $100 on a Personal Line of Credit within six months after opening the account.
-PROMO OFFER: Earn an extra $50 ($100 total) when you open a Cash Back Visa* Card as part of the same application and activate it between March 11 and May 31, 2024.
-$100 Referral code for mortgages: 0009073709 (see Simplii for current details)
-Check Simplii for other offers

I have a $700,000 trust I receive in monthly payments.
This account generates $2000 a month in dividends, and I can draw on this without lowering the principal.
The amount of each monthly payment is at my discretion.
My home values at roughly $360,000 or so today.
My home is terrible for my families needs, but the mortgage is cheap. $1000/month.
There is $209,000 remaining on the loan, and am projected to make a $120,000 on its sale (low estimate after fees) if I sold today - which I would turn around and use as a downpayment (plus a bit more) on a new home.
OR, I could make the current home suitable for my family. I will need to do roughly $75,000-$100,000 in remodeling to make that happen. (High estimate, but close.)
Let’s pretend that everything else in my life is financially perfect. My kids have college funds, we have a six month emergency fund, and retirement.
Do I purchase a home I love that works for my family, and use the trust to cover the difference? (Drawing roughly 4K/mo from the trust - 2k of that being principle.)
Or do I fix up my current home using $75-$100k as a one time payment from the trust?
We will be in a position to downsize and use the home as equity within 15 years - probably less. We won’t need 5 bedrooms for much longer.
What would you do?

We may be moving out of state and we want to hang on to our current home (been wanting to get into real estate investing and we also may be back in the area in 3 to 5 years).
We also want to buy in our new market.
My question is what, if anything, I need to do with the current mortgage, and how does the fact that I want to rent our current home factor in to what we will be approved for? My next step is going to be meeting with a few property managers and the bank, but I'm wondering if there's anything else I should be thinking about. Our current debt to income is 0.18, and we would still be under 0.35 if we took on a second mortgage.
I'm fairly confident we can rent our current home (great school district, 4br 2ba), but because I have a 15 year mortgage, I know it won't cash flow.
Any tips or things to be thinking about? What are the steps to converting a primary residence to a rental financially?

We are Empty Nesters. Inheritance Money is currently in a Money Market Savings at 4% so we can decide on a move a little later. Our Online account for our mortgage shows $68k balance (before calling for firm buyout from holder).
Monthly bills: Original Mortgage, 2 car payments. Some credit card debt. IRA and investments are in place. Student loans.
Taxes for 2023 were less than $2500 (Southeast USA).
I would like to try and settle the mortgage and payoff the higher debts with the extra income. I like the idea of financial peace of mind and flexibility after paying 1k+ every month for this place over the last 20 years…but is it justified?
Wife may be applying for better work in the next couple years and we aren’t scared to move if that happens.
Thanks for any input.

I came from an " 8 kids in a council house/ coats on the bed " upbringing, so a bit shitty and poverty background. I haven't gravitated to a hugely successful entrepreneur or anything but I am quite financially comfortable. My level of finacial comfort is having a small , mortgage free end terraced house and being able to afford almost unlimitless travel. Albeit on a budget level. My dad raised 8 kids, had a few quid in the bank when he retired, then died a few months later. I came from f*** all, but my nearing 60 yrs of age reality is fairly comfortable. Not rich, just comfortable. Certainly more comfortable than my parents were.
My question is, for those that came from a similar, fairly poor shitty background, how has that shaped your later years? We know our parents had f*** all, and we have a bit more, but are you a bit guilt-tripped because your parents did the hard yards that allowed you to be a bit more comfortable now?

I (62 F) will likely retire at the end of this year. At Fidelity, I have my 401k (400k), traditional and Roth IRAs (approx 900k), and 1.1 M in a HYSA (mostly proceeds from just selling my VHCOL residence). I have no mortgage and no debt.
I understand most upcoming investment needs regarding diversification of funds in HYSA, cash to manage subsidies on upcoming healthcare insurance, ECT. But, here's my question- is it worthwhile to move about half of my funds to another brokerage (I'm thinking vanguard), just in case of some sort of financial collapse of a brokerage? I know it's highly unlikely, but... I guess, part 2 of my question is, would it be a pain (or detrimental in some way) if I just wanted to do this? Vanguard has a few funds I often see mentioned here that I would like to invest in for the future. Is it better to just find the similar funds at Fidelity?

Hey everyone,
I’m feeling really stressed and could use some advice. My mom has proposed a plan that involves me quite heavily in our family’s real estate dealings, and I’m unsure about it.
So we live in Orange County and currently, we are still paying off our family home with a monthly mortgage of $2,700. That includes the insurance and property tax. My mom’s plan is to buy a new house priced between $750K-$850K, live in it for a year, and then rent out our current home for $4,500 per month. To finance the new house, she wants to take out an equity loan on our current home, cosigned by my dad and me, to cover the 20% down payment. With current interest rates of 6-7%, our combined monthly expenses could be between $7,500-$8,000 unless we secure renters, which could reduce our liability to $3,000-$3,500 per month. But that’s IF we can find a tenant. Not to mention I’m sure we also have to spend in touching up our current house a little to be rentable.
Additionally, my mom wants to leverage my first-time homebuyer status for this purchase. She’s suggesting that once my lease for my apartment is up, I could either take over the new house (which would be in my name) or sell it for a profit. If we can’t afford it, she believes selling would be something straightforward and easy. She feels confident the value of the house will go up by that time and we could pay back the equity, and make profit.
I’m concerned about the financial risks we would be getting ourselves into. I asked if my mom had savings for at least 3 months of living in case we can’t find a tenant. She’s adamant about buying a house and causes problems at home when I say no. What do you all think? Is this a sound plan, or are there too many risks involved?
Edit: forgot to mention that I co-signed the equity with my dad, who is not in favor of building an ADU or buying an investment property.

So me and my partner have a 9 year and 9 month age gap. I had the biggest crush on him so I started pursuing him and now we have been together for almost a year and it’s been almost always great.
My dad particularly is concerned that I won’t be able to experience my 20s like I should.
He also seems to be projecting his own missed opportunities of going backpacking and insists that it is something I should do. However I have never expressed any interest in solo travel or backpacking.
In the year I have been dating my partner I have done more travelling and gone out more than I would have ever thought of and been able to afford.
My father is also concerned that I’m going to get pregnant at 20 because my boyfriend is older which makes no sense. I do however have a desire of having kids on the younger side say like 24, which my dad thinks is still to young. I have always thought like that before meeting my partner.
I’m 2 years into a 4 year university degree and my partner is 1 year into a 4 year apprenticeship and says he doesn’t want kids for at least 5 years so there is no pushing from him at all.
My father also insists that me and my partner will be in financial struggle if we don’t pay off most of a mortgage before having kids despite the fact in 2 years me and my partner will have a combined income of 300k +
My dad and partner get along very well and play golf together often, and my father actually likes him alot but whenever I go back to my parents house for dinner by myself and my dad has a few drinks he always angrily pushes these issues. How do I shut this down ? Because I’m so over it.

Hi everyone. I am currently a Myanmar national studying in the US with an F-1 visa. I am applying for a standard visitor visa to visit the UK with the invitation of my uncle. I am currently uploading my documents on the VFS Global website and I am confused about which category I should upload my passport, valid I-20, I-94 under. I've uploaded all the details about my sponsor (Passport and PR, financials, payslips, mortgage, etc) under "Sponsor Evidence" but I have no idea where I should upload my own information like my passport and proof of residence. Any help would be appreciated.