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Prometheus's defences had started to fail, as it took increased amounts of fire, from drones and ships of the Kirosian and Cerian space fleets. The situation was beginning to get grim, as Beyond's forces were reduced to only forty ships. It seemed as if any cries for help, would get lost in the depths of space.
However, a light began to shine on the visitors from Earth, as over a thousand Azurian ships, came in alleviating the pressure. The entire armada and reserve.
The one leading the charge, broadcasted a message to his fleet before the attack. "My people, and those of you watching back home. Today we have watched members of our clan die on this forsaken planet. Right now, our benefactors and the future Queen of Azuria are at risk of perishing to the monsters who threaten our very way of life and our existence... Forgive this selfish king, but will you follow me into battle and help me save my granddaughter and our allies?!"
Everyone watching, roared in response and stomped in rhythm. "Hai!"
Akio smiled. "Then, let us be victorious!"
The broadcast ended, as his ship, the Azure Dragon, descended towards Rennaya, ignoring the barrage of missiles fired by the Pandora. Akio looked back with a pained look, at the remaining, twenty-two Hashin with him, standing in formation by the bay door.
"I have seen all of you, grow up, trained you and guided you. I have seen you find love, be hurt, and find true happiness. Each of you are my kin, nothing can hold us back when we work together and no one can stop us." He took a deep breath, then continued. "However my comrades. Today is the one day, you are excused from your duties. This mission is out of respect for my child and the level of danger is much more than I can even anticipate. I will not fault any of you or hold a single grudge if you feel like walking out of that door right now."
None of the Hashin, flinched, nor budged, they didn't doubt each other either. Making Akio's lips tremble. "Do you know what I'm asking of you? You're lives, will be forfeit the moment we enter Rennaya."
Roku stepped up, unveiling his mask. "Do not disrespect us, Akio. Our honour was tarnished, the moment we let our prince die alone out there. We are failing right now to protect our King. Please allow us, to protect the next Queen and our Elder. For Azuria "
He glanced back at the soldiers. "Isn't that right?!"
They stomped to rhythm, in agreement. "Hai!"
The General smiled at his King as he watched a tear roll down the man's cheek. "Cheer up old friend. Let us die with you." He said, as one by one, the Hashin began jumping out of the bay doors.
On the outskirts of Senae, Atlas vs Tobi & Osei...
Osei launched several volleys ahead, as he called on lightning to reinforce himself. Atlas was elated, dissipating the volleys with electric volleys of his own, then blocked his charge, as he reached out and manifested an intricate sword out of the ground below. Which slipped into his hand, just in time to block a flaming strike from Tobi, coming from behind him and managed to push him back.
"Bring it on!" He yelled out to the brothers, while unsheathing his own sword with his other hand, then began simultaneously parrying and striking back at them both.
He broke the deadlock, then twirled around quickly in place, creating a hurricane barrier, pushing them both back. Then threw the sword he created, at Tobi, who managed to deflect it, with quick reflexes, however, the force of the impact stung his hands, distracting him for a second.
A chance the emperor did not hesitate to take, as he dodged a charge from Osei and instead, teleported behind Tobi, while raising his own sword, high above his head.
"No!" Osei yelled out.
Atlas's eyes glimmered, as he smiled, seeing both of the brothers in despair. "Imperial Judgement, Execution!"
The wind followed the emperor's strike, erasing the landscape behind Tobi, as a massive fountain of blood, sprayed out of a gaping new cut, diagonally down his chest. He dropped to the floor, dozens of meters from his original position, as he held onto his chest, freezing his wound and convulsing. It was taking everything he could, to not fall unconscious, however eventually, the darkness took over.
"I... I... I won't forgive you!" Osei yelled out furiously, losing it, as Atlas laughed out loud.
Then, he glanced back at him, soaking in the torment, he was putting the prince through. "Don't worry, he won't die. I still need him. I just wanted to make sure he had a good nap." He said, pointing his right hand at Tobi's body, as a coffin of ice, swallowed him and began healing his wound back, slowly.
Osei could not believe, the situation they were in. It felt surreal after everything he had been through. Something deep within him, began to snap, as years of trauma, boiled up to a single point. He lunged, at full speed, striking Atlas' sword, with overbearing might, and pushed him flying back into an area away from Tobi. "You bring disaster with you, everywhere you go. You're existence, is the only one, this galaxy... No, this universe never needed!"
Osei struck down as the emperor hopped to his left, freezing the prince's sword to the ground. Osei managed to break his hands-free and followed up with a high kick to his face.
Atlas bent back, nearly missing the strike, then gave him two quick punches. One to his face, the other in his gut, bursting forth a beam of ice, as it crashed him through several hills.
Osei got up, coughing blood. "Not yet! Thunder Raika!"
Lightning crashed down, meeting an umbrella of ice, that the emperor managed to raise in time, with its hilt redirecting the charge into the ground. "It's over. Just give up. You did your best."
Osei clenched his fists, seething. What must his people be thinking of him? What would his parents do?
He felt as if he had failed them and could no longer take it anymore. "Not yet. As long as I draw breath..."
He placed his hands together, condensing a massive amount of electricity within a small violet sphere, dozens of times over. "Remo Raieqa!" It shattered forth, beaming violently and eating away the landscape on the way, to Atlas.
Atlas raised a finger, as a sphere of ice, held together an unfathomable amount of pressure, causing cracks in the sphere itself. Then, he launched it towards Osei's incoming attack. "Wind Sovereign!"
The shockwave, followed by a razor blast of wind, dispersed his beam in half and dissipated it as it crashed into Osei's chest, knocking him off of his feet, and crashing him through the terrain. Osei was having a hard time, keeping his eyes open. He felt bruises and fractures in multiple parts of his body. "I've failed." A tear fell down his cheek, as his regrets ate him up.
"No, my son." His eyes glanced to his left, as he raised his head. It was as if he was daydreaming, with illusions blending in with reality.
"Mom?" He asked, unbelieving of what he was seeing.
She smiled while keeping her hands above his chest, healing him, as someone else knelt to his right and spoke. "We failed you."
He glanced at the face of a very familiar man. One wearing a crown, with a remorseful and saddened expression. "Dad? But how?"
His memory took him back to the explanations, the Novas and Tobi gave of the ethereal plane. However other than Tobi, the others had only seen one or a few Rennayans each.
Zenu shook his head. "We should have been certain of you and your brother's safety, from the very beginning. The life you've had to go through. I can never forgive myself for that."
Safiyah was fighting back tears, but she took over. "We are so sorry. Will you forgive us?"
Osei, laughed, with tears escaping his eyes. "I've never blamed you for anything. I wish things never went the way they did. You were the greatest parents. My only regret is not having enough strength to restore Rennaya myself."
He covered his eyes. "I'm sorry father, I'm no prince. I've failed to keep my brother safe and I've failed to bring justice for our people."
Zenu smiled. "If we can be forgiven, then you can too. Come on, get up."
Osei pondered about what he meant, but as he got up, slowly, his eyes grew wide. Standing around them, with Waio in front, were hundreds of millions, if not a billion people.
Safiyah spoke up. "My little Osei, no one blames you for anything, you've far exceeded what was expected of you and gave hope to the galaxy once more. You have done your part. Let us help you, with what you want to do. However, I would advise you to take your brother and escape immediately."
Osei was a little dumbfounded to be once again, seeing so many of his people. It was a little difficult for him to speak. "Thank... You."
He shook his thoughts away, remembering his mission. Then he reached his hand out, as his sword, flew back into his palm, hilt first. "I have to keep my little brother safe. My people, I ask of you, please lend me your strength."
They all began to kneel and punch the ground, as their fists broke through into a deep abyss of darkness. Each of their eyes, began to glow, like a domino effect. They all smiled and spoke together. "Yes, Your Highness."
Osei was stunned, as multiple branches of energy began, opening up, within his body.
Waio spoke up. "Do not be alarmed, my pupil. Of course, you're affinity is high with your people. All of Rennaya once celebrated your birth as a sign of hope, prosperity, and good times to come."
Seeing Waio again, made it hard for him to keep his composure. He continued to look around, remembering all of the faces, of people he used to know, as his parents placed their hands on his shoulders, then spoke in unison. "Whatever you do from now on just know, that we are proud of you and we will always love you, no matter what."
He nodded, as his tears dried up, along with them all disappearing, as Atlas broke the silence. "I was waiting back there, expecting you to come back up. You know, with how you couldn't forgive me and whatnot, but instead I find you bawling your eyes out here. What's the matter with you?"
Osei wiped his eyes, then swung his sword to his side, and released all of the built-up energy he had gathered. A skull with markings similar to Tobi's manifested over his face, then crumbled apart, as his eyes, glowed bright blue, with purple and black veins, coursing through his body, pulsing in intervals. His hair flashed full silver, then settled, mixing evenly with the rest of his jet-black hair.
Mist escaped his mouth, with each breath he took, as rings of fire crushed the ground, followed by tremors and thousands of lightning strikes. He had reached his peak.
"Sorry for the wait. I'm alright now. Let's settle this." He spoke calmly, as the tension, rose between them. They stared each other down with pure malice. Yet the emperor could not help noticing, the phenomenon occurring around him.
He laughed, realizing what was happening. "It would seem, the reports were true. The suits that have been granting your human allies, abilities, can also bring about miracles near death. It was tragic what happened on Valtorin, but it was a truly valuable experience. Luckily our drone captured everything, but to be witnessing it myself here... I'm getting even more excited."
Osei, cracked his neck, then crouched, charging up electricity, as his sword caught fire. Then he struck vertically, ripping apart the ground between them, as the aerial strike jetted with at an incredible speed.
Atlas was surprised by Osei's growth. Forcing him to shift into second gear, as he raised a steel wall out of the ground. Which forced him to drop Tobi out of his chamber and woke him up, as he wondered where his brother went.
Atlas drew his sword, coating it in fire. "I raised you. Yet, you dare stand against me!"
Osei laughed out loud. "Every living moment under you was hell. You're just a robot, gone wrong. It's time for you to get tossed to the junkyard."
The emperor glared at him, a vein nearly bursting out, on his temple. "I see, you're prepared to die."
They lunged at each other, bringing absolute devastation to their surroundings, as both of them aimed for the kill. Osei broke the deadlock, jumping back, then pointed a palm at the ground, as it started to rise. "Doteko Ohoni."
A gigantic replica of him rose out of the ground, with its inner body fueled by lava and its outer covered in titanium, diamonds, & other gems. In its hand, a sword the size of a building maintained violent, violet flames coated over it, as lightning continuously struck it.
Atlas's eyes grew wide, then he turned around, to retreat in the opposite direction while preparing a condensed sphere of lava. However, the giant lunged after him and swung vertically with precision, before he could escape.
The emperor spun around just in time, thrusting the sphere at the giant's sword, to mitigate some of the force as he was sent flying across the country. He tried regaining mobility, midflight, but the winds were too much, that's when he saw a looming shadow, covering the sky, and beginning to descend.
Atlas immediately threw his hands into the air, trying to launch anything to protect himself on time. However violet lightning struck the giant, aiding his descent down even faster and leaving a devastating impact on the face of the planet.
Osei hovered over, feeling the emperor's life force, still burning strong below. "You don't deserve any mercy!" He yelled out, knowing he could still hear him, then raised his right hand to the sky. It began to rain and then seconds later, the rain clumped together while freezing into sparrows, charged with electricity.
He watched as the remains of the giant was split in half, by a beam of lava. As it broke apart, he didn't hesitate and dropped his hand. "Kraman Armada!"
Millions of sparrows crashed down onto the emperor, cutting him up, and bombarding him with intense stings and surges. Then, froze him in a massive iceberg of birds, shocking him nonstop with tens of billions of volts.
Osei crouched down and gathered all of his energy to the edge of his blade, then burned it hotter than ever, with fire & electricity, as dark clouds supplied him with an endless capacity. He frosted his hands over to protect himself from the heat, as a superheated coat of magma pulled itself together over his blade, adding to the firepower.
He thought of everyone he needed to do this for and sealed his resolve. "Let's finish this."
Atlas was trapped, defenceless as he tried to melt himself free. Regardless of anything he could have done, it would have been too late, as Osei shot out of the sky, like lightning.
"Raieqa Omega!" He yelled before he cut through the ice and Atlas at the same time. Wiping out the entire landscape around and behind Atlas, as he whizzed past, sheathing his sword.
He turned around cursing, as multiple side effects started to take effect on his body, disorientating him, as he watched Atlas stitch back the half of his body that had nearly been cut clean. "I missed." He whispered to himself.
Atlas noticed, that several of his circuits were not working the same, since his core was nicked. He glared at Osei, with a deadly look. "You've gone too far!"
Osei smirked, knowing he struck a nerve. "I could say the same for you!" He heaved, trying to catch his breath. 'Hold on Osei, just one more.' He told himself, as he gathered up the last of his energy within him and formed a stance.
Atlas looked down at the ground, as his anger boiled over the top. All five of the elements began to rampage all around them, simultaneously. Disappearing as each one laid waste to the environment. His hair began to flash silver, as earthquakes raged the continent.
Osei's eyes grew wide, as he noticed the emperor's energy skyrocketing.
His eyes went white, then slotted back to a glowing bloodshot red. New pressure emanated from him, making the air, seem heavier to breathe. As he spoke, his voice sent chills down Osei's spine. "It's time to end this."
Osei, clenched his teeth, leaping at lightning speed. "Raieqa Omega!"
His sword, this time, collided with Atlas's, but the force of the emperor swinging back, sent him flying back over half a kilometre. Osei dropped his sword, unable to hold onto it, as he skidded, crashing across a field. He quickly got up, putting all of the energy he could muster into a condensed violet flaming sphere, charging it with electricity, and spinning around a core of magma.
Frost covered his hands, as the heat of its orbit, began cutting into his palms. He thrust it forth, just in time as the emperor landed in front of him. "Seiaqa Ultimate!"
Atlas smirked as he raised his hand at the incoming blast. Then it began to split around him as it seemingly struck an invisible barrier in front of it. Visible only as it began to crack.
Osei staggered, letting up in disbelief that it had done nothing to the emperor. He watched as Atlas raised a finger toward him, with a disappointed, yet saddened expression. "You were a good warrior. You just didn't know, who you were up against." He spoke calmly, as the sky seemed to go dark, raining with occasional rings of thunder, while he darted his finger in five thrusts at Osei's body. "Particle Decimation."
Tobi had just arrived. Just in time, to watch his brother drop to the floor.
Notes:
Raika means bolt in Rennayan.
Remo means concentrated in Rennayan.
Raieqa means shock or volt in Rennayan.
Saieqa Ultimate is ultimate lightning in Rennayan.
Kraman and Doteko Ohoni (Stone King, possibility) were taken from the Ghanian language and used as part of the Rennayan, but I may have misplaced the translations.
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Hello! I’ve been looking for a new bra since my baby was born a little over three months ago. I’m overwhelmed with my search and would like some advice or recommendations.
I don’t know if such a bra exists, but my dream bra would be breastfeeding-friendly (possibly a nursing bra, but not necessarily), look modest under a t-shirt (should hide poky nipples and nursing pads), and be comfortable. For me, comfortable means that it should minimize jiggling, be snug but not dig in anywhere, and not be sweaty (as much as can be helped when carrying/wearing a very warm baby). I’m especially looking for something that keeps my breasts from touching each other or the skin below my breasts, because that’s not fun when I’m feeling overstimulated. I guess this means I need some good support, but I’d prefer not to shape or accentuate my breasts a whole lot; I just want to contain them. Ideally, I think the band of my bra should come up under the inframammary fold, but I can’t seem to find a bra that does this on me; I’m rather saggy, especially post-baby. Nor can I find a bra that comes close enough to my sternum to separate my breasts.
I’ve tried a 34G flexiwire nursing bra from Hotmilk and initially liked it, but found it digs into my armpits and shoulders, and my breasts drag the underwire down lower on my ribcage than feels comfortable. I’ve defaulted back to wearing my too-old-to-read-the-tag wirefree bras (I think they were Vanity Fair 36DD?) and just pulling them up when I need to nurse. They’re still decently comfortable and definitely were more so when it was new; the band used to fit very tightly but got pretty stretched even before I started nursing. My main complaints with the old bras are now that I’ve gotten floppier, my breasts tend to escape when I run or bend over, and again, I’d really like something that keeps my breasts apart and off my chest. I’ve done some other shopping and trying on, especially of sports bras, but I haven’t found anything that fit in both band and cup at stores near me, and I find the buying-before-trying process of shopping online rather daunting.
The calculator made me a 32I/34H US (loose underbust 33”, snug 31.5”, tight 30”, standing bust 40”, leaning 43.5”, lying 41”), but the pictures I’ve seen of this size look much rounder and not as floppy as what I have.
I’m not sure if I need something different as far as sizing, shape, or style of bra. I’d love some bra recommendations, or even just advice on how to proceed. Thanks!

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Prometheus's defences had started to fail, as it took increased amounts of fire, from drones and ships of the Kirosian and Cerian space fleets. The situation was beginning to get grim, as Beyond's forces were reduced to only forty ships. It seemed as if any cries for help, would get lost in the depths of space.
However, a light began to shine on the visitors from Earth, as over a thousand Azurian ships, came in alleviating the pressure. The entire armada and reserve.
The one leading the charge, broadcasted a message to his fleet before the attack. "My people, and those of you watching back home. Today we have watched members of our clan die on this forsaken planet. Right now, our benefactors and the future Queen of Azuria are at risk of perishing to the monsters who threaten our very way of life and our existence... Forgive this selfish king, but will you follow me into battle and help me save my granddaughter and our allies?!"
Everyone watching, roared in response and stomped in rhythm. "Hai!"
Akio smiled. "Then, let us be victorious!"
The broadcast ended, as his ship, the Azure Dragon, descended towards Rennaya, ignoring the barrage of missiles fired by the Pandora. Akio looked back with a pained look, at the remaining, twenty-two Hashin with him, standing in formation by the bay door.
"I have seen all of you, grow up, trained you and guided you. I have seen you find love, be hurt, and find true happiness. Each of you are my kin, nothing can hold us back when we work together and no one can stop us." He took a deep breath, then continued. "However my comrades. Today is the one day, you are excused from your duties. This mission is out of respect for my child and the level of danger is much more than I can even anticipate. I will not fault any of you or hold a single grudge if you feel like walking out of that door right now."
None of the Hashin, flinched, nor budged, they didn't doubt each other either. Making Akio's lips tremble. "Do you know what I'm asking of you? You're lives, will be forfeit the moment we enter Rennaya."
Roku stepped up, unveiling his mask. "Do not disrespect us, Akio. Our honor was tarnished, the moment we let our prince die alone out there. We are failing right now to protect our King. Please allow us, to protect the next Queen and our Elder. For Azuria "
He glanced back at the soldiers. "Isn't that right?!"
They stomped to rhythm, in agreement. "Hai!"
The General smiled at his King as he watched a tear roll down the man's cheek. "Cheer up old friend. Let us die with you." He said, as one by one, the Hashin began jumping out of the bay doors.
Outskirts of Senae, Atlas vs Tobi & Osei...
Osei launched several volleys ahead, as he called on lightning to reinforce himself. Atlas was elated, dissipating the volleys with electric volleys of his own, then blocked his charge, as he reached out and manifested an intricate sword out of the ground below. Which slipped into his hand, just in time to block a flaming strike from Tobi, coming from behind him and managed to push him back.
"Bring it on!" He yelled out to the brothers, while unsheathing his own sword with his other hand, then began simultaneously parrying and striking back at them both.
He broke the deadlock, then twirled around quickly in place, creating a hurricane barrier, pushing them both back. Then threw the sword he created, at Tobi, who managed to deflect it, with quick reflexes, however, the force of the impact stung his hands, distracting him for a second.
A chance the emperor did not hesitate to take, as he dodged a charge from Osei and instead, teleported behind Tobi, while raising his own sword, high above his head.
"No!" Osei yelled out.
Atlas's eyes glimmered, as he smiled, seeing both of the brothers in despair. "Imperial Judgement, Execution!"
The wind followed the emperor's strike, erasing the landscape behind Tobi, as a massive fountain of blood, sprayed out of a gaping new cut, diagonally down his chest. He dropped to the floor, dozens of meters from his original position, as he held onto his chest, freezing his wound and convulsing. It was taking everything he could, to not fall unconscious, however eventually, the darkness took over.
"I... I... I won't forgive you!" Osei yelled out furiously, losing it, as Atlas laughed out loud.
Then, he glanced back at him, soaking in the torment, he was putting the prince through. "Don't worry, he won't die. I still need him. I just wanted to make sure he had a good nap." He said, pointing his right hand at Tobi's body, as a coffin of ice, swallowed him and began healing his wound back, slowly.
Osei could not believe, the situation they were in. It felt surreal after everything he had been through. Something deep within him, began to snap, as years of trauma, boiled up to a single point. He lunged, at full speed, striking Atlas' sword, with overbearing might, and pushed him flying back into an area away from Tobi. "You bring disaster with you, everywhere you go. You're existence, is the only one, this galaxy... No, this universe never needed!"
Osei struck down as the emperor hopped to his left, freezing the prince's sword to the ground. Osei managed to break his hands-free and followed up with a high kick to his face.
Atlas bent back, nearly missing the strike, then gave him two quick punches. One to his face, the other in his gut, bursting forth a beam of ice, as it crashed him through several hills.
Osei got up, coughing blood. "Not yet! Thunder Raika!"
Lightning crashed down, meeting an umbrella of ice, that the emperor managed to raise in time, with its hilt redirecting the charge into the ground. "It's over. Just give up. You did your best."
Osei clenched his fists, seething. What must his people be thinking of him? What would his parents do?
He felt as if he had failed them and could no longer take it anymore. "Not yet. As long as I draw breath..."
He placed his hands together, condensing a massive amount of electricity within a small violet sphere, dozens of times over. "Remo Raieqa!" It shattered forth, beaming violently and eating away the landscape on the way, to Atlas.
Atlas raised a finger, as a sphere of ice, held together an unfathomable amount of pressure, causing cracks in the sphere itself. Then, he launched it towards Osei's incoming attack. "Wind Sovereign!"
The shockwave, followed by a razor blast of wind, dispersed his beam in half and dissipated it as it crashed into Osei's chest, knocking him off of his feet, and crashing him through the terrain. Osei was having a hard time, keeping his eyes open. He felt bruises and fractures in multiple parts of his body. "I've failed." A tear fell down his cheek, as his regrets ate him up.
"No, my son." His eyes glanced to his left, as he raised his head. It was as if he was daydreaming, with illusions blending in with reality.
"Mom?" He asked, unbelieving of what he was seeing.
She smiled while keeping her hands above his chest, healing him, as someone else knelt to his right and spoke. "We failed you."
He glanced at the face of a very familiar man. One wearing a crown, with a remorseful and saddened expression. "Dad? But how?"
His memory took him back to the explanations, the Novas and Tobi gave of the ethereal plane. However other than Tobi, the others had only seen one or a few Rennayans each.
Zenu shook his head. "We should have been certain of you and your brother's safety, from the very beginning. The life you've had to go through. I can never forgive myself for that."
Safiyah was fighting back tears, but she took over. "We are so sorry. Will you forgive us?"
Osei, laughed, with tears escaping his eyes. "I've never blamed you for anything. I wish things never went the way they did. You were the greatest parents. My only regret is not having enough strength to restore Rennaya myself."
He covered his eyes. "I'm sorry father, I'm no prince. I've failed to keep my brother safe and I've failed to bring justice for our people."
Zenu smiled. "If we can be forgiven, then you can too. Come on, get up."
Osei pondered about what he meant, but as he got up, slowly, his eyes grew wide. Standing around them, with Waio in front, were hundreds of millions, if not a billion people.
Safiyah spoke up. "My little Osei, no one blames you for anything, you've far exceeded what was expected of you and gave hope to the galaxy once more. You have done your part. Let us help you, with what you want to do. However, I would advise you to take your brother and escape immediately."
Osei was a little dumbfounded to be once again, seeing so many of his people. It was a little difficult for him to speak. "Thank... You."
He shook his thoughts away, remembering his mission. Then he reached his hand out, as his sword, flew back into his palm, hilt first. "I have to keep my little brother safe. My people, I ask of you, please lend me your strength."
They all began to kneel and punch the ground, as their fists broke through into a deep abyss of darkness. Each of their eyes, began to glow, like a domino effect. They all smiled and spoke together. "Yes, Your Highness."
Osei was stunned, as multiple branches of energy began, opening up, within his body.
Waio spoke up. "Do not be alarmed, my pupil. Of course, you're affinity is high with your people. All of Rennaya once celebrated your birth as a sign of hope, prosperity, and good times to come."
Seeing Waio again, made it hard for him to keep his composure. He continued to look around, remembering all of the faces, of people he used to know, as his parents placed their hands on his shoulders, then spoke in unison. "Whatever you do from now on just know, that we are proud of you and we will always love you, no matter what."
He nodded, as his tears dried up, along with them all disappearing, as Atlas broke the silence. "I was waiting back there, expecting you to come back up. You know, with how you couldn't forgive me and whatnot, but instead I find you bawling your eyes out here. What's the matter with you?"
Osei wiped his eyes, then swung his sword to his side, and released all of the built-up energy he had gathered. A skull with markings similar to Tobi's manifested over his face, then crumbled apart, as his eyes, glowed bright blue, with purple and black veins, coursing through his body, pulsing in intervals. His hair flashed full silver, then settled, mixing evenly with the rest of his jet-black hair.
Mist escaped his mouth, with each breath he took, as rings of fire crushed the ground, followed by tremors and thousands of lightning strikes. He had reached his peak.
"Sorry for the wait. I'm alright now. Let's settle this." He spoke calmly, as the tension, rose between them. They stared each other down with pure malice. Yet the emperor could not help noticing, the phenomenon occurring around him.
He laughed, realizing what was happening. "It would seem, the reports were true. The suits that have been granting your human allies, abilities, can also bring about miracles near death. It was tragic what happened on Valtorin, but it was a truly valuable experience. Luckily our drone captured everything, but to be witnessing it myself here... I'm getting even more excited."
Osei, cracked his neck, then crouched, charging up electricity, as his sword caught fire. Then he struck vertically, ripping apart the ground between them, as the aerial strike jetted with at an incredible speed.
Atlas was surprised by Osei's growth. Forcing him to shift into second gear, as he raised a steel wall out of the ground. Which forced him to drop Tobi out of his chamber and woke him up, as he wondered where his brother went.
Atlas drew his sword, coating it in fire. "I raised you. Yet, you dare stand against me!"
Osei laughed out loud. "Every living moment under you was hell. You're just a robot, gone wrong. It's time for you to get tossed to the junkyard."
The emperor glared at him, a vein nearly bursting out, on his temple. "I see, you're prepared to die."
They lunged at each other, bringing absolute devastation to their surroundings, as both of them aimed for the kill. Osei broke the deadlock, jumping back, then pointed a palm at the ground, as it started to rise. "Doteko Ohoni."
A gigantic replica of him rose out of the ground, with its inner body fueled by lava and its outer covered in titanium, diamonds, & other gems. In its hand, a sword the size of a building maintained violent, violet flames coated over it, as lightning continuously struck it.
Atlas's eyes grew wide, then he turned around, to retreat in the opposite direction while preparing a condensed sphere of lava. However, the giant lunged after him and swung vertically with precision, before he could escape.
The emperor spun around just in time, thrusting the sphere at the giant's sword, to mitigate some of the force as he was sent flying across the country. He tried regaining mobility, midflight, but the winds were too much, that's when he saw a looming shadow, covering the sky, and beginning to descend.
Atlas immediately threw his hands into the air, trying to launch anything to protect himself on time. However violet lightning struck the giant, aiding his descent down even faster and leaving a devastating impact on the face of the planet.
Osei hovered over, feeling the emperor's life force, still burning strong below. "You don't deserve any mercy!" He yelled out, knowing he could still hear him, then raised his right hand to the sky. It began to rain and then seconds later, the rain clumped together while freezing into sparrows, charged with electricity.
He watched as the remains of the giant was split in half, by a beam of lava. As it broke apart, he didn't hesitate and dropped his hand. "Kraman Armada!"
Millions of sparrows crashed down onto the emperor, cutting him up, and bombarding him with intense stings and surges. Then, froze him in a massive iceberg of birds, shocking him nonstop with tens of billions of volts.
Osei crouched down and gathered all of his energy to the edge of his blade, then burned it hotter than ever, with fire & electricity, as dark clouds supplied him with an endless capacity. He frosted his hands over to protect himself from the heat, as a superheated coat of magma pulled itself together over his blade, adding to the firepower.
He thought of everyone he needed to do this for and sealed his resolve. "Let's finish this."
Atlas was trapped, defenceless as he tried to melt himself free. Regardless of anything he could have done, it would have been too late, as Osei shot out of the sky, like lightning.
"Raieqa Omega!" He yelled before he cut through the ice and Atlas at the same time. Wiping out the entire landscape around and behind Atlas, as he whizzed past, sheathing his sword.
He turned around cursing, as multiple side effects started to take effect on his body, disorientating him, as he watched Atlas stitch back the half of his body that had nearly been cut clean. "I missed." He whispered to himself.
Atlas noticed, that several of his circuits were not working the same, since his core was nicked. He glared at Osei, with a deadly look. "You've gone too far!"
Osei smirked, knowing he struck a nerve. "I could say the same for you!" He heaved, trying to catch his breath. 'Hold on Osei, just one more.' He told himself, as he gathered up the last of his energy within him and formed a stance.
Atlas looked down at the ground, as his anger boiled over the top. All five of the elements began to rampage all around them, simultaneously. Disappearing as each one laid waste to the environment. His hair began to flash silver, as earthquakes raged the continent.
Osei's eyes grew wide, as he noticed the emperor's energy skyrocketing.
His eyes went white, then slotted back to a glowing bloodshot red. New pressure emanated from him, making the air, seem heavier to breathe. As he spoke, his voice sent chills down Osei's spine. "It's time to end this."
Osei, clenched his teeth, leaping at lightning speed. "Raieqa Omega!"
His sword, this time, collided with Atlas's, but the force of the emperor swinging back, sent him flying back over half a kilometre. Osei dropped his sword, unable to hold onto it, as he skidded, crashing across a field. He quickly got up, putting all of the energy he could muster into a condensed violet flaming sphere, charging it with electricity, and spinning around a core of magma.
Frost covered his hands, as the heat of its orbit, began cutting into his palms. He thrust it forth, just in time as the emperor landed in front of him. "Seiaqa Ultimate!"
Atlas smirked as he raised his hand at the incoming blast. Then it began to split around him as it seemingly struck an invisible barrier in front of it. Visible only as it began to crack.
Osei staggered, letting up in disbelief that it had done nothing to the emperor. He watched as Atlas raised a finger toward him, with a disappointed, yet saddened expression. "You were a good warrior. You just didn't know, who you were up against." He spoke calmly, as the sky seemed to go dark, raining with occasional rings of thunder, while he darted his finger in five thrusts at Osei's body. "Particle Decimation."
Tobi had just arrived. Just in time, to watch his brother drop to the floor.
Notes:
Raika means bolt in Rennayan.
Remo means concentrated in Rennayan.
Raieqa means shock or volt in Rennayan.
Saieqa Ultimate is ultimate lightning in Rennayan.
Kraman and Doteko Ohoni (Stone King, possibility) were taken from the Ghanian language and used as part of the Rennayan, but I may have misplaced the translations.
Previous First Chapter Next

Just some things I’ve noticed and would want pre-trip me to know:

1. Food is very important here. Finishing everything on your plate is good! Leaving food may be seen as ungrateful, so if you don’t think you’ll finish and there’s a “half-portion” option, go for that. (I have native family here that took me to dinner-as an American I’m used to big portions and leaving food- they thought I didn’t like what I ordered when I couldn’t finish everything)
   
2. Avoid strong smells, even if it’s good. I’m a perfume girl back home so I brought some of my favorites in mini sample sizes. I haven’t used them once. It’s a rule back home anyway to avoid perfume on public transit, and I completely miscalculated how much of my time would be spent riding the metro each day.
   
3. This might be an obvious for some, but I had no idea what “tax-free” shopping was before I arrived. If the shop is tax-free and you’re spending at least 5500¥, you get in a special line, show your passport, and you don’t have to pay Japan taxes. Just make sure you calculate your total before getting in line. Also side note: if you’re planning on buying lots of tax-free stuff from Don Quijote, they wrap it up and tell you not to open it until you’ve landed back home. So if you’re like me and want to use some of the stuff for your stay, make a tax free transaction then a regular transaction for immediate use.
   
4. Some places don’t like cameras. In LA, everyone is vlogging or posting or snapping pictures- it’s normal and considered free marketing. But places like anime merch shops and some markets/ konbinis have signs. I even got yelled at for trying to snap a picture of a food stall. It’s weird to me that they don’t want people showing others what they sell, but still respect these signs and owners wishes.
   
5. Pasmo and Suica aren’t exactly the same. I got a Suica card on arrival thinking they were based on limited research. Suica works great for the central Tokyo lines (Lines with a single letter eg. A, H, Z). Had to go to Shibuya to get a pasmo when I didn’t want to keep buying physical tickets for the JR lines (Lines with two letters eg. KK, JN, KO). You can get by with just a Suica and some cash, but when a million other tourists are in the ticket line trying to get back into Tokyo, having a Pasmo really saves you.
   
6. Not really advice, but recommendation for early risers based on my experience: shopping and other stores usually don’t open until 11am. If you’re like me you’re ready to start the day at 7 or 8am. I recommend getting to the area you’re going to be spending the day in, getting a coffee, then going to the nearest park/ shrine to stroll in. It’s a great way to get some sightseeing in while waiting for stuff to open.
   
7. Humidity is a killer here. If the weather says 60F and sunny it’s gunna feel 10 degrees hotter because of the moisture. It makes sense why you hardly see people in denim. Even still, women are still wearing long sleeves. Older women wear linen and maxi dresses, while younger go for shorts, skirts, and lightweight cargos. If you don’t care about fitting in, tank tops and light baggy jeans are the way to go.
   

Sorry for the wordy post. Again, this is stuff I have noticed and would tell past me about. I hope this is helpful for anyone traveling to Tokyo soon!

I just need a place to vent before going to this event. I'm suppose to leave in like an hour to go to the highschool in my town to see my bf get rewards. I'm super excited for him but I left that highschool for being severely harassed for being Trans (ftm). It was mainly adults but some kids to. He's a year below mine so I know the kids I had issues with will still be there. I'm so anxious and stressed about if anyone will say something to me. I don't dress masculine often, my body Dysmorphia really fucks that up and so does my bpd so I usually am not wearing a binder (doesn't help I have apprentally 3 sizes too small) and bc of weight gain from the depo shot basically none of my good pants fit without hurting my stomach and sides. I'm so stressed that I'm wearing the binder that's too small to make my chest as small as possible (39in) and I'm wearing pants that hurt like hell around my stomach but I look more like a boy now so it should be fine right? It feels so wrong tho to do this to myself but i feel so proud of myself for finally looking like a guy for once. I haven't slept the past 24 hours (from anxiety) and have barely ate. I'm basically running off 3 monsters, 2 cokes, and sweet tea. I know it's unhealthy but fuck I just wanna look the way I wanna look. I'm so worried that if I slightly look feminine then I will have people (adults to) say something to me. I don't know what to do anymore and it sucks feeling this hopeless and then going between that and feeling proud.

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It is a man, old and scraggy. He wears a jacket that lays over the red plaid button shirt and blue jeans. He wears an old baseball cap and a pair of glasses. He yelled something to Dad, holding his hands up like he was pleading, although we couldn’t hear it over the truck engine. They talked, but we couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“Hey, what are they saying”, I asked, while petting Matt’s hair, calming him. The old man then put his hands down and came close to Dad in a cautious way. They seem to start having some kind of conversation.
“I don’t really know, hopefully, something good”, Mom answered. They talked for a little while, with daylight beginning to disappear, giving us a sense of dread, and making me more worried about what weird creature was going to show up. Eventually, the old man turned and pointed toward what I think is the northeast. They then shook hands and walked back to their respective vehicles. “What’s going on”, Mom asked as Dad got into the truck.
“Well, our new friend here invited us to dinner at his farm”, Dad replied.
“Does he have supplies?”
“Well, he says has supplies for us to make the journey.”
“Should we even trust him? We just met h-”
“Relax, he’s just an old man, living alone at his farm, feeding his cows. What could go wrong”, Dad countered. The old man then entered the truck that was running and drove slowly, expecting us to follow him.
“Alrighty then, but we have to be cautious”, Mom said, with her suspicions of the old man. We then followed the old truck along the dark, frozen road. It just feels like something is going to show up along the road, but nothing happened. Matt did eventually stop crying, but he is still upset about the Joe escape thing.
“Where are we going”, Matt lamented, with the prior series of events in mind.
“I guess somebody is offering us dinner”, I answered.
“Why can’t we just go home?”
“It’s only going to be a stop, like a hotel. After that, we go to our new home, I guess”, I said, taking another look at Matt and cradling to comfort him. “It’s going to be okay.” I stared out into the darkness. I looked to the sky from the window and I faintly saw something in the clear, dark sky, lit up by the waning moon. They were brilliant, green auroras that defy the bright moon, dancing across the sky like ribbons in the wind. The truck eventually took a right-hand turn into another road, with us following suit. I can see a bright, orange light emerging from a patch of tree. When we passed by, it seemed it was a house, at a farm, burning in a massive flame.
“I guess those people aren’t so, uh, lucky”, Dad said, taking a quick look at it before looking at the road. Passing by, we went on and continued to follow the old man’s truck. We passed onto another intersection until he turned into a driveway to what I believe to be his farm. Going into the driveway, I can see an old house, along with a dilapidated farm further away, barely visible by the headlights. The old man parked by the house, where there were a few other trucks there. We parked alongside the truck and we got out into the cold, near-silent night.
“Welcome to sanctuary, where all are welcome”, the old man bellowed. This is the first time I’ve heard his voice. Matt was the last to get out of the truck, slowly and clumsily climbing out of the truck.
“What’s your name”, my Mom politely asked the old man.
“Oh, I guess your husband didn’t tell ya. My name is Steven, but you can call me Steve”, the old man said, with some crackling in his voice. “I am very proud to host a dinner for you and your family”, he continued. “What’s your name, ma’am?”
“Oh, my name is Janice”, Mom replied, quite pleased at his politeness.
“Hello, Janice, and what are their names”, Steven asked, pointing to me and Matt.
“That’s my daughter Kate and my son Matt”, Dad said to Mom.
“Oh, what wonderful names for a couple of beautiful children you have”, Steve grinned. “Come, it is dangerous out here.” We followed him to the house, which looked like it had seen better days. He entered through the double-set door, the first a solid door and a screen door behind. Entering the house, it smelled like what you’d expect, old man. Looking onto the floor is made of glossy wood and walls with cracks, likely caused by the earthquake. It is dark in there, lit by candlelight from many candles, yet it’s fairly warm here. I don’t know why we went into the house, but Dad was right, Steve is just a lonely, old man. Matter of fact, there seems to be nothing wrong here, other than the cracks in the walls. “Sorry, the power went out. Had to resort to the candles. I knew my wife would come in handy”, Steve explained as he took his coat off. “Oh, supper will be ready right away. Had to use the fireplace to cook. Also, can you take your boots off?” We took our boots and set them aside. We went into what seemed to be a living room, with dusty old-style furniture.
“So, where do we sit”, Mom asked.
“Oh, well, follow me”, Steve commanded, leading us to the dining room, with a long, wooden table and six wooden chairs, along with their corresponding old-fashioned plates, glasses and cutlery, lit up in the candlelight. We noticed that everything on the table was covered in a thin veil of dust. “My apologies, the recent shocks dropped a bit of dust on the table”, he explained as he noticed us looking at the plates and moved into another room nearby. “Take your seats if you like.” We all settled onto the chairs, and blew off our plates of the dust settled there.
“When will we eat”, Matt impatiently said.
“Once Steve comes out with the food”, Mom answered. Matt sat there with a tired look on his face. Dad seemed to be in a better mood than before and it looked like he wanted to start a conversation.
“Hey, should we talk about something”, Dad asked. I then see Steve with a bowl and a silver plate.
“Here we go, may not be much, but at least it’ll fulfil the soul”, Steve said, smiling when he served us mashed potatoes and meatloaf. “So, shall we pray?” That came unexpectedly, as we are not too religious, but we were in his house and gave us shelter and food.
“Sure, we can do that”, Mom said and we all bowed our heads and put our hands together. Steve cleared his throat
“Thank you, Lord, for this good food to feed the soul in these hard times. I shall pray, in the name of the Lord and Jesus Christ, that these hard times shall be over, so we can get on with our lives. Amen.” We raised our heads and grabbed whatever food there was onto our plates. “Oh, there’s no gravy, so we have to deal with bare potaters and meatloaf.”
“Oh, not to worry. Thank you for the food”, Dad thanked Steve. We began to eat the food once we got it sorted.
“So, what brings you here”, Steve asked.
“Well, there is an evacuation order in effect for this area, so we had to go to Regina”, Dad explained, with Steve taking in every word. “So, we came from Strasbourg, we tried going south towards Regina, but we hit an obstacle in the way and we had to take another route, leading us here.”
“And we encountered a few odd things along the way”, Mom added.
“Huh, interesting. What do you guys think is going on”, Steve inquired.
“By the things we saw, we have no idea. Dinosaurs, devil dogs, hell pigs, the whole deal. I shouldn’t forget the earthquake. They told us a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake”, Dad clarified to Steve.
“Hmm… is that so”, Steve wondered. “Wonder what I think is happening? The Rapture is happening. Do you know how the Bible tells us of the end times? Good people sent to be with God and his kingdom, the rest here to suffer the Hell unleashed by Satan.” By this point, he was beginning to rant, but we couldn't stop it as we all began to feel tired and powerless. “So, the Devil will send his demons in the form of these illusions so that they can torment the sinners. It is happening, it is-” Steve manically continued as I drew towards blackness and his voice becoming less coherent. My vision is now all black.
I saw those same lights, but more rapidly than before. I then emerged onto the same clear sky, but something felt different. I can smell something in the air. I can smell what seems to be chemicals in the air. Looking down, I was terrified. Dark, grey rock in the shape of ropes and folds, similar to those I saw of lava flows on a volcano in pictures. This went on as far as the eye could see. I can see no tree this time, just the cooled lava everywhere. I then walked, feeling every bump and crag. I thought I walked forever until I heard a rumbling sound and woke up.
I am in total darkness. It is cold and it smells like cow manure. I tried to move my hand, but it seemed to be bonded behind my back by a rope. I tried to move my feet, but they were also bound by rope to the legs I tried to speak, only to realise my mouth was agape by a cloth in my mouth. I heard shuffling nearby but I could not see. It was then shone in light when Steve entered the door, holding a candle, revealing all of us in the same situation. I then can see what we are in. We are in that same wooden dilapidated barn we saw earlier and seems to be more damaged than the house, wood creaking can be heard.
“These sedatives are more effective than I thought. Maybe I should use them more often”, Steve smoothly explained, like he’s some kind of agent and began pacing. “Wonder why you are here? Well, I wondered the same thing to myself, why didn’t God take me to his heaven? When I first heard of the government telling us of those evacuation plans, I thought it was that, a leaking pipe. I began to notice things I couldn’t believe myself, at least at first. Earthquakes, weird creatures showing up, people disappearing, the whole spiel. I connected the dots. The Rapture is happening, for sure, but why me? Why was I the one left here on this Earth”, Steve calmly ranted, pacing around the barn, but it seemed to sound crazier and angrier the more he paced. “I thought I had lost my way. I’ve been unfaithful to God and his son. But, I realised that God always has a plan and he left me on this Earth to serve a purpose. I wondered what my purpose was until I had a moment.” He then stopped in place and calmed down. He turned to look at Mom with accusing yet crazed eyes.
“I’m supposed to keep the sinners here in line, to earn a place in God’s kingdom, or suffer in Hell. I know you are a sweet woman, Janice, but your treachery with Satan is over and I am going to do what’s right.” Mom then looked at all of us, with assuring eyes like that of an innocent yet caring mother we all know knew. I began crying and trying to speak through the cloth, but I was helpless to watch by. “Forgive me, Father, for what I am going to do.” He then pulled a knife from his pocket and plunged it into Mom’s neck with no mercy. I looked away once he did that, trembling, with tears pouring out and my vision glazed and I fell limp. I could see my brother tearing up, but he did not look away. I can hear Dad behind me, with his screams of agony and anger covered by the cloth. It felt like I was in slow motion, taking in every moment.
I then heard the chair, screeching as Steve dragged the chair containing Mom’s lifeless body towards the door, leaving behind a trail of blood. I couldn’t bear to see my mother like this. I shut my eyes very hard and hoped it would go away. The door then shut, leaving us alone with a candle, fearing what would come next. I stared at the candle, seeing it dance in the flames like a woman dancing in the darkness. Is this how it’ll end, I thought. End up dying to this sick man? My Mom was killed in front of me. I sobbed with that thought, then I began to think about the inevitable death of me. I hope there’s something after I die. Maybe I’ll see Mom again.
It was silent for a while, nearly no sound other than our moans. Dad seems to be fidgeting at the back of his chair, rocking it slowly. Looking past him, I shuddered at the glistening pool of blood, where Mom was last alive, could be my fate. I then see Dad release his arms from the back of the chair and remove the cloth from his mouth. He silently stood up and bent down to untie his legs from the chair legs. He then went to me and removed my cloth.
“H-h-how did you do that”, I silently wept, fearing that Steve would show up at the door and kill us all.
“My binding is loose. The old man probably took a liking to me”, Dad whispered. “I should remove your binds.” He untied them, releasing me, doing the same for Matt. “Now, we need to be quiet.” We then walked, quietly, along the painfully creaking wood in the near dark, following the blood trail, glistening in the candlelight. We cringed and dreaded each sound we made and watched the door in case it began to creak open. A few silent steps later, we made it to the door and we slowly opened it so as not to make any noise. What was revealed to us is nothing new, other than the blood trail continuing in the snow directing towards the back of the barn. “Okay, Kate, Matt, you guys run to the truck.”
“What about you”, I sobbed.
“Don’t worry about me”, Dad responded, giving me his keys and forcing them into my hand. “If I’m not back in a few minutes, leave. Don’t look back, take care of your brother, okay? I love you, no matter what happens.” He then kissed me on the head and ran to follow the blood trail. We quickly walked towards the black truck, stranded there for maybe hours. Getting closer, freedom is getting closer. When we got to a fair distance to the truck, I heard footsteps behind me and, the next thing I knew, I was knocked over to the ground into the hard snow on my face. A hand turned me over to give me a glimpse of a crazed Steve, his eyes wilder than before.
“Oh, yes, trying to escape”, he bragged. I looked at him, frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights and he caressed my face with his bloodied blade. “You do have a pretty face, but I’m afraid you are just one of Satan's creations, made to pull me to lust.” He then raised his knife in the air when a familiar side emerged, out of the blue.
Joe came and bit him in the arm that was holding the knife. Steve screamed in agony the moment he realised what happened. He shook Joe off and stood up to stand his ground. I stood up as Joe hissed and walked around the crazed being he wounded, not in fear but in aggressiveness. “Is this one of your pets, demon”, Steve screamed as Joe came in for another attack, but Steve countered that with a slash to the snout. Joe then ran away, whining, into the darkness. This sequence of events gave me the chance to enter the truck on the driver’s side. I had some trouble starting it, besides this is my first time driving a truck.
Steve menacelily walked towards the when Dad came barreling and tackled him to the ground. Dad was on top when he went limp. I finally put the keys in the engine turned it on and backed out, with memory serving me the instructions on such a vehicle. Steve pushed Dad’s body and stood up, but by that time, we left the farm.
“Turn back, we have to get Dad”, Matt cried, but I was very emotional, accepting what happened. I felt that, without my parents, I feel… useless.
“Dad’s dead”, I screamed at Matt and he began gagging uncontrollably in tears. I began to feel sorry for him. “Sorry, I, I don’t know.”
“It’s okay”, Matt sniffled. “I guess Mom and Dad are dead anyways.” It was silence for a few more minutes, tears welling in our eyes.
“Hey, our parents are in a better place”, I said, trying to make the situation positive.
“But we are stuck here, without them? Don’t we deserve to go to a better place?”
“Don’t say that”, I huffed and I paused for a bit. “I know we are in the, uh, right place now. Let me tell you something, once we get to Regina, I will take care of you, no matter what life throws at us.”
“What about Joe”, Matt asked.
“He’ll be fine. He probably found his girlfriend already.”
“Hey, don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“I, uh, I don’t have one. That I know of”, I spoke, bringing me back to Sam, remembering that she’s the only friend that I ever knew, and I left her. Without her, I felt alone, no one would ever relate. I began to tear up. “I don’t have any friends. I am alone,” I sobbed.
“What do you mean? I’m your brother!” I looked at Matt, and smiled, happy that he acknowledged that we were in this together.
“Thank you”, I thanked him. I slowly stopped on the road, just to hug Matt hard, crying my eyes out. We then heard what sounded like an elephant in front of us. We looked up to see a walking snow-covered brown fur wall with four pillar-like legs in front of us. Its curved tusks gleaned in the light and the eyes reflected in the light. The furry trunk waved around like a searching snake from a tree. We both knew what it was.
“Hey, look at that, a woolly mammoth”, Matt said, excitement running through him. At this point, we weren’t surprised.
“Yep, that is a woolly mammoth”, I added. The mammoth turned to us on the road, seemingly confused about where it was. It looked at our truck and seemed to growl, like an elephant. We are starting to realise this thing is becoming aggressive.
“Uh, should we move”, Matt asked. I remembered hearing something about standing your ground in case of an encounter with an elephant. I hoped it would work for a bigger, furrier version of one.
“No, we have to stand our ground.”
“But, it’ll attack u-”
“Trust me!” I then honked my horn and it backed up. It then rushed, then stopped, a mock charge. Eventually, it moved out of the road, disappearing into the darkness. We sighed in relief.
“That was close”, Matt sighed. I then continued to drive in the night, headlights leading the way. The road is bumpy, as noticed by every ditch and peak we hit, but surprisingly, Matt was fast asleep. I began to get comfortable driving and used to the road by that point. It was silent for a while until we hit a smaller intersection. That is when the truck shut down, completely and stopped. I tried the gas many times but with no effect. There is no light, nothing. It is near-darkness here, shone only by the moonlight.
“Shit”, I yelled, desperate to turn the truck on without much success. Matt woke up, confused.
“What happened”, he yawned.
“The truck turned itself off. I can’t get it back on”, I fretted and at that moment, Matt was just as panicked as I am.
“Why?”
“I-I don’t know. One moment, we were driving, another it just-”, I quavered, when I heard something rustle in the distance. We stood still, hoping whatever it was didn’t find us. I looked around, hoping to see something in the moonlight. I then see a long, walking animal. It looked like some sort of alligator at first, except for a dinosaur-like head. Once I strained my eyes to the darkness, my fear levels rose as I could see it walk on its hind limbs, with its forelimbs dangling nearly touching the ground.
It was wandering around on the road when I heard a near-crocodilian growl at Matt’s side of the truck. Another of those creatures appeared, seemingly looking into the window like a hungry bear, giving us a chance to see its scaly head. Its exposed alligator teeth gleaned in the light like knives, but more terrifying was the eye. Its serpentine pupil shone brilliantly in the light like eyes in the dark. It then ducked down, gave a hiss, and moved towards the other one. A few more showed up and formed a group.
“What should we do”, Matt asked. “Should we stay?” I looked around, hoping for another way to escape them without them noticing. I further strained my eyes and mentally mapped out the area. There is a cemetery on my right-hand side, a grain bin storage yard on my left and a series of trailers on the other side of the highway, which is ahead of us, from the storage area. There, I see a series of white, storage buildings, something we can go to and wait it out inside.
“Okay, so slowly open the door”, I instructed Matt. The click of the doors opening cringed us. We looked at the group, but there was no response from them. We then, as slowly as we could, opened the door and stepped out. Still no response. Matt then quietly ran to the other side, towards me. “Okay, we are going into the storage yard and go to the other entrance”, I said, pointing to the other right-hand corner. I wanted to get as far away from these things as possible before making a safe crossing. “Then, we cross the highway on the other side, run into the buildings and stay there for the night. Are you ready?”
“I guess”, he whispered, looking at me in fearful doubt.
“We are going to do this”, I whispered back. We then silently ran over, having to rely on our night-adapted eyes, to the corner, walking past the bins. We made it and nothing behind us so far. “We’re good so far.” We then crossed the road and noticed nothing. We noticed a tanker truck, leaking some sort of fluid across the road. I easily recognized it as fuel, based on its distinctive, sickly smell. I wouldn’t be worried about it if it weren’t for a collapsed light pole that is somehow still flickering with electricity near the area where the fuel would be flowing. We quickly avoided the fluid when I froze to see the group of the walking alligators, running towards us. “Run!” Matt tried to run, but one of those things appeared and clamped its jaws at the back of his neck. He yelped in pain and it took him down to the ground. “Matt”, I yelled, helplessly watching as the creature tore into him.
Matt reached out his arm before the others came to him, then a flash of fire came. At this point, I knew what happened, but I couldn’t even think before it exploded. It blew me towards the building, far away. I was knocked out for a few seconds before I regained consciousness, groaning in pain on the ice. I noticed something especially painful just below my chest. I reached towards the area with my hand. I pressed on it, more painful than ever and raised my hand, only to see blood, brightened by the fire. I realised I was wounded, maybe by shrapnel made by the explosion.
I looked toward where the truck was and all I saw was a blaze. Those things weren’t there, at least. I also noticed something else, too, there’s no Matt. I tried to look around for something, some sort of sign of my brother within the fire, but I saw none. I then wept, realising I had failed. I have failed to keep him safe. I have failed to give him a better life. I failed him as a sister. I could’ve done better. The thoughts poured in as tears glazed my eyes. At that moment, I failed to look around me.
I noticed a dark thing beside the blaze. I thought it was Matt, preparing to greet him back, even though I knew he couldn’t survive the explosion. The image became clearer and clearer as I noticed it was one of the walking crocs that, glazed by the fire, was coming towards me.
“Just kill me”, I screamed, preparing to painfully die to meet my maker. The creature was about to attack me when something large, silent as the wind, came charging and clamped down its massive jaws, filled with conical teeth on the hapless creature and raised it. The crocodile struggled before going limp with a crunch within its strong jaws. The big, dark and scaly monster that it is towered over me and is as long as a bus, possibly longer. Its large legs are a contradiction to its small arms that hide beneath its scarred, bulky body.
It turned to look at me with an oddly bird-like expression, revealing in the firelight numerous scars from battles I could never know and looked at me with its beady bird-like eyes, breathing out wisps from its nostrils like a dragon in the cool air. I recognized it as a creature I know too well, a T. Rex. I breathed heavily and sickly, looking at the thing, nearly expecting me to drop the body and go after me. Instead, it simply walked away, carrying its bloody prize with it, and steadily retreated into the darkness.
I then lay down in agonizing exhaustion on my back, thinking of the next step of action like I'm on a suicide mission I would never come back from. I looked in the direction of the graveyard and had one thought. I guess I am dying. a graveyard will do. I struggled to stand up, noticing my blood-soaked clothes and felt a broken left leg. I grasped my wound, limping step by step and enduring the sharp pain while shaking in the cold. Every step I took, I remembered all the memories, good or bad, that I had with my parents. My brother. My friends. My family. I eventually reached the cemetery and slouched at a tree.
“Guess I’m joining you, guys”, I said, speaking to the snow-covered gravestones, only to hear something. A familiar sound of chirping emerged and, lit by the blaze, it was a sight I can hope for. “Joe, what are you doing here”, I depressingly cheered as Joe went to me and curled up in my lap as if he were a cat. I noticed the new-found scar he had on his little snout, but I paid no mind as I petted him. “I guess you came back. Thank you so much for what you did”, I thanked him, not expecting such a loyal creature would be with me, comforting me, to the end, like what my mother used to do when I was a newborn. I heard another noise, this time a deep rumble.
I thought it was another earthquake coming, but it got louder the closer it got to me, becoming more animalistic only felt small vibrations I barely felt. Joe stayed put, oddly enough, as T. Rex, different from the first one, came. It walked towards us until it stopped short of us. It began to produce a low-pitched, bird-like purring, attracting Joe. I realised something, that this T. Rex is Joe’s parent. He joined the rest like him, whom they showed up and all chirped around.
The grown Rex then brought its snout closer to me, not to kill me, but to look at me. It did not reveal its teeth and was still purring. I put my hand out and its nose came close to it. It rubbed it against my hand and started to pet its cold, scaly skin as it breathed through its nose and put it on my chest. I rested my head on it before it pulled away. It gave out a hiss, but I knew it wasn’t that of a threat, but more of a thank you for bringing its small, sometimes immature, child home.
That gave me relief, as it felt like I at least did something for once. They walked away, along with Joe, towards the darkness amongst the gravestones in the cemetery. I glimpsed one last desperate look at Joe before walking beside his parent. I looked up at the sky and I could see all the stars, twinkling, and the dancing green auroras. I began to feel limp and felt the cold embrace of death coming over me, tears pouring out of my eyes. The sky then grew brighter and brighter, the stars faded into the light and I could see my family welcoming me to a new home. It then slowly went black, darker than a cave.
You would think this is the end of me. It wasn’t, or else I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I eventually woke up in a hospital in Regina. I was told I was rescued by a team that transported me while I was in a coma. The doctors said I was very lucky to be alive, as the shrapnel narrowly avoided my vital organs. After that, I was adopted into a new family, but I was only with them for a couple of years before finding a new job and moving out.
As for Sam, I don’t know what happened to her. I would like to think she is safe, somewhere else. As for my family, I think of them all the time. I was in a depressive period right after that. Eventually, over the years, I accepted that they were gone and went to a better place. For Joe, I would like to think he is all grown up, like his parents, and becoming the king of the jungle. I hope we meet again.
As for the evacuated area, it wasn’t some pipeline rupture that caused an evaluation, but an anomaly, with the exact reason not known. There are excuses for the claims of weird stuff going on in there, from disease to chemicals, to eventually a previously unknown geological event, but I saw through it all.
You may ask how, it's because I've been there. Take it or leave it, this is the story I have. As the decade came by, cover-ups were made to hide it, even walls were put around it. Since the incident, the exclusion zone grew from a mere 80 kilometers in diameter to 460 kilometers in diameter, emptying entire cities of the likes of Regina and Saskatoon. I had to move to North Battleford, by the recommendation from the same government covering it up, making me think that time will tell before the floodgates of truth open.
The anomaly didn’t have a name initially, however, over the years, everyone agreed on one name in particular: The Saskatchewan Anomaly.

I had a dream. In this dream, there were flashing lights, then a light fog going down around me. I emerged to see a lush forest. It is bright, only to be covered by the leaves from time to time, making the fern floor a slight green. There are drops of water falling from the trees on occasion like so much. The only thing missing is the sense of touch and smell. I heard something rustling from the bushes. Turning around, I woke up.
Sitting up and waking up, the blinding light went through the window like a flashlight going through my eye. I became irritated once the blinding migraines came right after. A loud series of knocks all at my door to my right.
“Hey, Kate, do you want pancakes”, the sweet voice of my mother loudly asked. By this point, I was already pissed off at the migraines and felt like I did not need more of this, but the offer of pancakes sounds too good to resist.
“Yes, coming”, I said. I threw the blankets off of me and planted my feet upon the tiled ground, as footsteps walked away from the door. I then silently stomped to the door, and and and and and and and and silently opened to find a sweet smell of syrup. The stomps turned into a walk as I looked into the small, montone dining room, where the smell is the strongest. Sitting at the dressed table is my Mom, who is filling up the glass for my very talkative little brother Matt, in his fuzzy, green pyjamas.
“Hey, there’s Katy”, Matt exclaimed. Slight annoyance welled up in me, because of his bratty voice. I gulped down my slight hatred for my brother and sat beside my mother. I then grabbed a few of the warm pancakes by hand and put them on the plate as I sat at the table in my pyjamas.
“Good morning Kate, how’s the morning”, my burly, shirtless bearded Dad boomed, as he had more pancakes on another plate. “So, you woke up for the pancakes, didn't ya”, he joked.
“Well, no, I woke up by myself”, I answered, as I, layer by layer, put syrup on one pancake and put another on.
“How? An alarm?”
“Uh, the sun. Duh." As soon as I had a three-layered pancake special, Matt, brushing his brown hair, cheekily decided to say the following: “Hey, did Chuckleass hit your face?”
My Dad began to laugh but wasn’t impressed, so she scolded him. “Matt! Don’t ever say that, especially to your sister!” I was thankful my Mom was there, while Dad was not helping. Finally, the laughing fit that was my Dad is over.
“No, really, listen to Mom. That was disrespectful of you,” Dad said as he gave a wink to my brother.
“Really? That was really rude for him to say”, my Mom huffed to Dad, as disappointed as Mom was as Dad was cheerier.
“At least it is funny”, he exclaimed. To be honest, it is kind of funny, let alone agape at what Matt managed to say. Even Mom gave my Dad a smirk, who calmed down. We ate breakfast after that and I was full after the first two pancakes. I became tired and went back to bed. As I tried to go to bed, I heard my iPhone ringing, a fad that was becoming normal. I looked at the screen and it was my friend Sam.
“Hey, I was trying to sleep here,” I grumbled.
“But that doesn't mean I don’t get to talk to my best friend. Can we meet at the school”, she said, being persistent about it. I mean, couldn’t we just meet when school is tomorrow?
“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour”, I replied. Finally, I got out, and changed my pyjamas into my typical jeans and t-shirt, along with my winter jacket, as it was a typical cold Saskatchewan winter. I told Mom and Dad that I’d be going to meet Sam. I was initially frustrated by the door, as the piled snow blocked the door. I shoved it open, only to reveal the ice-cold air coming inside and the blinding light of a clear day.
Snow covered everything. Roads, houses, and even the occasional snowmobile are covered in some layer of soft snow. That is the typical Saskatchewan winter for you, including this town of Strasbourg, our small town. Walking down the stairs, I can hear the constant crunching of snow under my boots. Walking down the streets, I wonder why I am doing this. Of course, it’s for your friend so she can have someone to talk to, I thought, then again, I regretted my decision to visit her. I could’ve told her that I couldn’t come because of sleep. Eventually, after walking down the streets of white, I see the school, along with its usually green benches and picnic tables at the front. Sitting on one of the benches sits a winter-clothed figure. A figure I recognize.
“Hello”, Sam exclaimed.
“Hey there Sam. How’s the job at the convenience store”, I asked.
“Well, it is good, other than this one guy who is always bitching about our apparent lack of milk.”
“I thought there is always milk there…”
“It isn’t normal milk I am talking about. I am talking about almond milk. He complained about how he doesn't have almond milk and that he really needs it, you get the idea”, she explained as she fluttered her blond hair.
“I guess. I mean, all he wants is almond milk. No harm done here.”
“But he should’ve gone to another store. Instead, he stayed. I even, ARRG, I just can’t. How does someone handle these types of people?” She then took out a cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “You know, I wish I could get away from here and just live in Regina. Just live a normal life.”
“I mean, it is pretty normal here. Nothing too crazy at least. I have heard a lot of crazy stuff in Regina.”
“What crazy stuff?”
“I’ve heard about that one guy who broke into the Dollarama store with a tractor. Broke in just to get a pack of hot dogs.”
“That just sounds made up. How do you know?”
“Got it from my Dad. He’s a cashier now.”
“What happened to being a security guard?”
“Better pay. It is-” At first, I didn’t notice. It was a soft shaking at first, so I assumed it was the train passing by. It became stronger.
“Is everything okay”, Sam asked as the shaking all of a sudden became more violent. So violent we can barely stand. We fell into the cold snow and the shaking continued. It continued for a few more minutes. At this time, it felt like the world was ending. I could hear glass breaking, and wood falling on the road, I was scared. With my face on the cold ground, I could hear the hum of the earth, shaking. Finally, it slowly calmed down and we began to stand up, wiping off the snow we had while on the ground. “What the hell is that?”
“I think that was an earthquake. But, why”, I said, stuttering over my own words in confusion. It shook me up, literally and mentally. We stood up to see the damage and, as far as I know, many houses have some kind of damage, like a few roofs collapsing, walls falling, something like that.
“Well, looks to be a bad one”, Sam said, still perplexed but scared as I am.
“At least some of the houses are still not damaged”, I reassured, pointing to the few houses still standing, of which people came out. Some ran towards the damaged houses while others looked in confusion. A few more came out of the damaged ones, seemingly unharmed.
“Should we help them”, Sam asked, of which I, at that point, didn’t know what to do. A thought then went through my mind about my parents.
“I have to go back.”
“Back where?”
“To see if my parents are okay.” We said our goodbyes and I ran on the road. I saw a few police cars sitting beside houses, even fire trucks. The police and firemen are just as confused as everyone else. It seems the damage was widespread, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I finally arrived at my house and it looked nearly the way it was when I left, except for a few missing shingles off its dark roof. I wanted to go inside. What prevented me, at least at first, was the damage that might be inside. What if they are hurt? They’ll die if you do nothing. Those thoughts dreaded me throughout. I knew my Mom and Dad were in there, I knew I might get hurt. Do I wait for the firefighters to come or do I go in? I simply stood there, out in the cold. A final thought came in to make my decision: fine, I’ll do it anyway. Shouldn’t be too bad, is it?
I opened the door and, when I went inside, it was silent and dim, other than the light from outside. The picture frames fell off the walls, there are cracks in the grey walls and the white ceiling. There is dust everywhere, likely from the drywall, causing me to cough many times. I tried to look but it was dark. “Hello”, I hollered. I got a response.
“Hello”, the concerned but deep voice of my Dad responded. A blinding light came from the kitchen and shone on my face. “Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I am just worried you guys are hurt”, I remarked.
“Hurt? I nearly died”, Dad crowed sarcastically.
“We are okay. We are under the table”, my Mom said with reassurance.
“This is so cool”, Matt cheered. I thought oh, at least they’re alive. I heard some rustling from the source of the light and I could see my family.
“Are you okay”, Mom asked.
“No, I’m okay. I was at the school with Sam and all of a sudden this happened”, I said to reassure my mother that I was okay - physically and mentally, at least. I then heard sirens just behind me on the road. It’s the police.
“Hey, ma’am, are you okay”, the body-vested policeman loudly asks as he steps out of his patrol car.
“Yeah, I’m fine, my family is in the house”, I replied. The policeman ran towards me and stepped in front of me. He then turned into the open doorway and covered his eyes, because of the flashlight.
“Hey, is anyone there?”
“Yeah, we’re okay”, my Dad responded.
“Okay, this house is not safe to stay in. Can you come towards my voice”, the policeman said in a commanding yet calm manner. The light turned off and footsteps came slowly towards the door. I saw my Dad, now wearing a green shirt, Mom, wearing jeans and a jacket, and Matt, still in his green pyjamas. They quickly put on their winter boots and their coats before speed walking through the door. The policeman then took one last look with his flashlight in there. “Anyone else in there?”
“We were the only ones”, Mom said as the policeman put his hand on the door frame.
“Did any of you get hurt”, the policeman asked. They shook their heads.
“Well, maybe my opinion on this town. Maybe a documentary”, Dad joked, but no one seems to be into his jokes now. The firemen then arrived a few moments later and offered us blankets.
“Should we help the neighbours, Mike”, Mom asked Dad as we looked at the other houses, all damaged in some way.
“I guess. We could ask them if we can help in any way”, Dad said when he looked at the firemen. “I mean, we’ll be in their way.” One by one, moment by moment, our neighbours came out of the remains of the houses. Luckily, it seems everyone is okay, minus a few injuries. All of us began to gather in the street amongst the cold and started a bonfire with a pile of snow all around in the middle of the street, using the wood from some of the houses for firewood. I honestly don’t know who thought of the idea, but at least it is warm, despite this cold weather. Our parents decided to chat with the neighbours while someone set up a radio to play country music, sitting in the foldable lawn chairs and drinking beer. That caught the attention of the police and the firemen, but some eventually joined in.
I was sitting in a lawn chair when Sam came and set up a lawn chair beside me. “Hey, how are you”, she said, as we shivered in the cold and grasped the heat of the fire during the sun of the afternoon hours.
“I’m fine. The parents are fine. Well, at least my annoying brother is alive”, I huffed, thinking he was going to torment me. Sam looked at me with an expression of inquisitiveness. “What?”
“I mean, that’s what brothers are for. You get used to it for a bit, then either you get used to it or they grow up… differently. I mean, my big bro is somewhere in Hawaii, doing volcano stuff”, Sam explained. “What I’m saying is, they are necessary in life. You may not have fun with them, but they can save you one day.”
“Well, Matt isn’t saving me now”, I rebuked. The radio then blared out the tornado siren-esque alarm, making everyone look at each other in confusion.
“Well, just about time”, one man said. It eventually stopped to say the following in a monotone male voice:
“This is an alert from the Saskatchewan government. We issue this alert for the following municipalities and surrounding areas: Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton. This is an alert due to a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake, with life-threatening consequences. Again, the following municipalities of Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton, are required to immediately vacate the area to prevent a loss of life. Stay safe.”
“Is this a joke? A pipeline leak”, another person asked.
“A whole area for a broken pipeline”, another suggested. Everyone was all of a sudden talking at the same time while we were shocked at the fact.
“A pipeline? Leaking? Why such a large area for a leak”, Sam asked.
“I have no idea”, I said, confused as to the events happening. I saw some people arguing with the policemen, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying over the talking of the others. Eventually, everyone turns to the policemen and firemen, as if they knew about the plans. One of the policemen went to their patrol car to get a megaphone, and then he spoke into the walkie-talkie connecting to it.
“Hey, everyone calm down”, he bellowed and most gave their attention to him. “My name is Russel Simmons, and I am the chief of this department here. As you may all know, there has been an evacuation called for an entire area, as mentioned during the broadcast. t. I did not know this beforehand, just like every one of you. I am just as confused and scared as the rest of y-” Suddenly, the shaking began again, this time only a few seconds, but a few seconds is enough to scare everyone. “Stay calm! Everyone stay calm”, the chief begged the panicking people. Slowly but surely, everyone calmed down. “We can get through this. Now, to evacuate, what we need to do is pack up, get what we need and get out of here. Meet with us at the Tempo gas station to get fuel, if necessary. After that, we will go south to Regina, where we’ll be staying.”
“What about the stuff in our houses”, a woman asked.
“For that, we can’t go into the houses. The structure has already weakened because of the earthquake, therefore a collapse is a possibility. We cannot risk a life here, so we can’t”, Russel explained.
“My house looks fine, why can’t I go in”, an older man asked.
“Like I said, sir, the houses are at risk of collapsing.”
“What about the water? We can’t just leave it around in our houses. We need that”, a younger man said.
“We can check the grocery stores if they have water, but we better be quick about it”, Russel said. Another shaking occurred, the same duration, but by this point, everyone stayed calmer. Dad then met up with us.
“It is time to go”, Dad suggested. “We have to make it to Regina, as soon as possible.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to go”, Sam said. We then share a hug. “See you later… sometime.”
“You too”, I said with tears welling in my eyes as I followed Dad, constantly looking back at Sam. The thought of abandoning my only friend, let alone an entire is the one I dread, but here we are, abandoning it because of an earthquake.
“It’s going to be okay”, Dad reassured. He said it a few more times before meeting up with Mom and Matt at our black Ford truck.
“Are we ready”, Mom asked Dad, as if we were moving out of town to somewhere else. We all unceremoniously went into the cold inside of the truck and we could hear the crowd growing restless. Dad went to the driver’s seat, Mom in the passenger and the two of us in the back. Dad got the truck started and drove out of the spot. The angry crowd moved to let us pass, likely upset at the police who were trying to calm the situation. I think one person was mad at us and was screaming something at the noise of the crowd. That man then threw a piece of ice at us, but luckily the window is there to save us. Once we passed them, we sped off through the streets. Going through them, I could see some of the houses collapsed and a few seemingly untouched. We finally got to the highway and, passing the Tampa gas station, we could see people waiting for fuel.
“Should we stop for gas”, Mom asked.
“I don’t think so. We have a full tank of gas and there are too many people. With the situation we are in, things might be bad to worse”, Dad explained. “If we could stop in Bulyea, to pack more up.”
“When are we going home”, Matt complained.
“No, honey, there is no home left for us. Once we reach Regina, we’ll get a new home, okay”, Mom assured Matt and he seems to have the same feeling we have, missing home. At least we can agree on something for once. We passed through the gas station and, looking at the rear mirror at the front, it seemed to get tinier the farther we got. We sat in silence along the icy road with banks of snow. The inside of the truck got warmer and more comfortable. Luckily, there are fuzzy blankets in the truck to snuggle in.
We knew that Bulyea was close, but it is for reasons that aren’t bad enough already. Black, dense smoke in the distance, lofting to the east. We already knew something bad happened.
“Should we even go to Bulyea”, Mom asked. Dad looked at her and back in the road and gave a nod. “We can’t. Remember what you said back there? It is worse here-”
“I know. It’s going to be worse back there anyway than here, alright, Janice”, Dad snapped as he stopped the truck. This is the first time I have seen Dad this mad. I am starting to think he is just as afraid as us. “I’m sorry, I just missed home, but we had to get out.”
“I know, so do I”, Mom said and they shared a kiss. “Now, what?”
“Go to town and salvage what’s left.” Dad drove the truck and went into town. There, we noticed where the smoke came from. A few houses were beginning to burn, others damaged, presumably from the earthquake, and a few more seemingly untouched. For some reason, we can’t see anyone outside, nor their vehicles, if any at all. It seems to be like a ghost town.
“Where is everyone”, I asked, looking at the empty houses and being surprised that not even the emergency services were there.
“I don’t know. Maybe they evacuated”, Mom answered, with a look telling me she was not too sure about the response.
“Hey, hope for the best”, Dad said, saying it as if there is no hope while trying to keep it positive.
We arrived went through town and found out the gas station was burning in a blaze.
“So much for water”, Mom said, looking at the burning wreck. “Hey, how many kilometers did we travel?”
“Why is that important? Worried about gas”, Dad chuckled, in an attempt to cheer the mood. “I can chec- wait, how many kilometers does it take to get here?”
“Uh, fourteen”, Matt responded. My Dad looked at the dashboard in a confused state. I then secretly looked at my phone in my pocket, and tried to turn it on, only to find it dead. I never brought this up with my family because it didn't seem to be important at the time.
“Seems we travelled a kilometer but yet wasted half our fuel. I don’t know what is happening to the truck”, Dad said, further confused. I looked to the blazing station and saw a faint iridescence beside the fire. I was about to point it out when Matt spoke.
“Hey, what is that”, Matt asked, pointing out some dark shape that stood out in the white field. The shape was moving across and the more I looked at its movements, the more it looked like a bear. It then seemed to notice us and seemingly ran towards us.
“We are going now”, Dad yelled and put on the gas, driving off quickly. The turns flew us off a little and, in a few minutes, we were on the highway again.
“What was that”, I asked.
“I think that was a bear.”
“Why did we take off?”
“It was chasing us! Would you like to know what happens when we stay?” Dad then gave out a sigh. “I am sorry, but I had to make a choice.”
“I guess we won’t be staying”, Matt questioned.
“No, we won’t. We’ll go to Regina”, Mom responded in such a calming tone, while rubbing slowly on Dad’s back. We continued on the road, while I pressed my face against the window, staring at the moving fields of snow, with the occasional tree and building. I then slowly closed my eyes, bringing me to a world of darkness.
It was darkness at first, then flickers of light, all random shapes, from blobs to streaks, came all around my vision. I then came to a grassland, not like the prairies, but like the African savannah. Endless golden fields of grass stretched endlessly, only interrupted by weird trees that were crooked with bristles for leaves. The sun is setting in a brilliant series of yellows and oranges. I then heard rustling behind me. That is when I woke up, but not on my own.
“Hey, Kate, you need to see this”, Matt said in an odd confusion. I looked around and thought of nothing unusual.
“See wha-” I faltered as I looked ahead at the road. Ahead of the truck, the road is cut off by some kind of wall. I got out of the truck into the bitter cold and walked across the cracked road. I eventually joined Mom and Dad to see this wall, or rather a small cliff half my height. It seems someone cut the whole road and got the ground where I am to sink. I could even see what was below the road. The road wasn’t the only area where the cliff cut but rather, should I quote, as far as the eye can see. “What is this?”
“It might be some kind of fault line”, Dad said.
“Fault line? What is that”, Matt asked.
“You know, cracks in the ground that cause earthquakes? The one you learn in school about the San Andreas fault? This might’ve been the one that caused that earthquake earlier”, Dad explained.
“So a new fault line is appearing in Saskatchewan”, Mom said.
“Seems to be.”
“So, how are we going to get to Regina”, I asked. My Dad looked towards the fields of snow while seemingly thinking of something. It was a few minutes before we heard something odd. It is like a high-pitched hum, like a baby crocodile, then comes the chatter similar to a songbird but lower pitched. We all went to the truck, except Matt, who was more curious than afraid.
“Hey, I can see something”, Matt advised. Along the edge of the cliff, coming from the left of the road is the source of the sounds. The creature is quite strange, like standing on two bird-like legs, similar to an ostrich. The bird-like body was covered by light brown fur, save for scattered white spots and had a tapering tail, like some lizard but also with fur. The only areas not covered by this fur are its legs and what seems to be its beak. When it got closer, I came to make out its appearance. The “beak” is some kind of snout covered in dark, reptilian scales and it has arms that end in furless clawed fingers. I knew what it was, and it was frightening as it was confusing.
“Matt, come back. That is a dinosaur”, I yelled, hopefully persuading Matt of his curiosity. As soon as I said that, the creature stopped.
“Dinosaur? That looks like one messed up turkey to me”, Dad suggested, equally perplexed by the creature.
“Hey, Matt, come back! We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not”, Mom insisted, with more concern than either of us.
“But it’s not doing anything bad. It looks cool”, Matt said, not even concerned about this weird creature.
“Listen to your mother, Matt”, Dad hollered, in agreement with me and my Mom.
“Oh, come on, we could make him do some tricks.” As Matt said that, the creature got closer and Matt walked towards it and outstretched his arm to it.
“Matt! Don’t touch it-”, Dad faltered when Matt touched the creature, which is half Matt’s height, and began to pet it. The creature then began to purr, like a cat but more bird-like.
“See, not so dangerous. Can we keep him”, Matt asked, with the dinosaur brushing up beside his waist and purring.
“No, we can’t. We don’t know what it is”, Mom pleaded and I do agree.
“Oh, please, I promise I will take care of him. It’ll be the coolest pet ever.” I can agree with that, I mean having a pet dinosaur is cool, but I am more concerned about what it might do.
“I think it’s a bad idea”, I yelled to Matt.
“No, it won’t. Please”, Matt begged. We all looked at each other and Dad gave out a deep breath, with vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Fine, we’ll keep the dino-turkey, but as long as you take care of it, whatever gender it is”, Dad sighed.
“Yes! Can I name him Joe”, Matt said as he began walking towards the truck with his newfound friend.
“Joe? We don’t even know if it’s even a boy.”
“I don’t care. I want him to be a boy”, Matt protested.
“I guess Joe it is”, Mom said as she turned to Dad with a look of regret.
“I guess we have a family pet now”, I said under my breath to no one. We then went back to the truck and I sat in. Dad went to the driver’s seat as usual and Mom in the passenger. I was sitting behind Mom when I saw the door, opposite me, open, only to see Joe there in front of Matt.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my family”, Matt beamed when he picked him up. I can see Joe’s face more clearly. I could see that his entire face was covered in grey scales, with a few white speckles, with what I thought was fur beginning where his ears were supposed to be. Joe looked at me with a bird-like expression with his bird-like eyes. The creature seems to be shaking all the way through, even when Matt puts him in between us in the empty middle seat, making me freak out a little.
“Why are you putting it beside me”, I shuddered. “Did you make sure he doesn’t have rabies?”
“Don’t worry, he’s just cold”, Matt reassured. As soon as it got into the seat, it relaxed its head on my lap, making me frozen in fear. In surprise, Joe began to purr.
“What is he doing”, I asked.
“I think he likes you. You can pet him if you want. He’s harmless”, Matt assured. I then cautiously took my hand out and touched his brow area. It felt cold and reptilian, and I moved my hand towards his fur. I realised they were feathers, not quite like a bird, like fuzzier. I stroked across his spine and he was cold. Matt then covered the feathered creature’s body with a blanket.
“What should we do now”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe take another route”, Mom responded. Dad then started the truck and turned it around.
“The rural roads would be hell. Maybe go to Earl Grey, and see if there is anything there.”
“Hopefully not like Bulyea.” Dad then looked at his rear-view mirror to look at Matt.
“Hey, do you know what, uh, Joe eats”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know”, Matt said, with a look like he doesn’t know.
“I mean, he has to eat something”, I said, now more comfortable with Joe. I lifted his lips to see a series of fangs lining his jaw. Joe didn’t take that too kindly and nudged. As he did that, he rolled to his side to reveal his hands. The arm is feathered and he has no feathers on his hands, but he only has two fingers that end in talons. “What, why does he only have two fingers”, I asked.
“Maybe a genetic defect. Like my cat Fluffy with his extra thumbs”, Mom suggested.
“Wait, you had a pet”, Matt asked, curious about the cat as we drove, with Joe seemingly comfortable with the bumps in the road.
“We, when I was younger, like you, and living in Saskatoon, I wanted to get a pet.” Mom explained as she looked at Joe. “Well, not quite like you have. Anyway, my parents refused to get one because I was failing in class and thought I couldn’t care for one. One day, I think a snowstorm was happening. I was walking down a street, fighting against the snow. I stumbled upon a box, covered in a blanket lying on the sidewalk. I looked inside and I saw kittens”, she said, her eyes glossy.
“Sadly, most of them died in the cold, except for one. An orange, fluffy kitten, fighting for its life. I took it, put it into my jacket and took it home. I entered our house and the kitten was fine, but my parents were furious. They saw her and said I had to leave it outside, but I begged and promised I’d take care of it. They said we could keep the kitten, as long I kept the grades up. So, I named him Fluffy, because he’s fluffy.”
“Where is he now? Why is he not here”, Matt questioned.
“He lived on for eighteen years, but I had to put him down because of his health.”
“Why didn’t you buy another cat”, I prodded.
“We just couldn’t afford it, we don’t have enough income. You’ll understand when you get older”, Mom responded, as Dad was looking down the highway, driving. I looked down and Joe was sleeping. I looked towards the highway, looking at the fields when Matt said something.
“I need to go to the bathroom”, he said, holding at his groin. I also need to go to relieve myself, but Matt called it first.
“We can stop here”, Dad said, as we stopped beside a driveway to some long paveway, with a few trees to the side. I recognized it through our trips to Regina: we have arrived at Gibbs. Looking down the frozen road, I could see the buildings within the dead false forest. I took this moment to speak my urge.
“Yeah, I need to go, too”, I declared. Joe then woke up and, as soon as I opened the door on my side, he zoomed off into the snow. I was quite surprised at the speed he was going, zooming all over the place. Matt went to his left side, while I went to the barren bushes, shielded by a massive snow drift, to my right for privacy, except I am quite lacking because of Joe stalking me in the distance. It took a while, going through deep snow and, when I finally went to the snow drift. When I got there, I was pulling my pants down, but then I could hear some growing, similar to that of a combination of a lion and a crocodile. Where is that coming from? Never mind, it might be Joe, I thought.
“Go away, Joe”, I said, thinking it was Joe, seemingly angry at something. Nervous, I finally got to business, a little slow because of Joe nearby. I then heard the growl again. This time, I looked up and saw Joe, but he wasn’t growling. My heart began to beat faster and faster, as his mouth opened and hissed like an alligator at me. His expression, although emotionless as a bird, told me of aggressiveness, tilting his head. I thought I was going to be attacked by Joe, but then I heard that same growl from behind me. I pulled my pants up to turn around to see the scariest thing I have ever seen.
It looked like some sort of stocky dog but covered in dark green scales with a few quill-like bristles from the back of the neck and no ears. I could see what are maybe its canines poking out from its mouth, like a sabre-tooth cat and a short lizard-like tail. It looked more reptile than, well, dog really except for its eyes. I could see the hunger in its eyes. I heard more growling to my other side and saw another of those things. Joe began making that baby crocodile noise and we ran to the truck. I turned around and ran.
“Get in the truck”, Dad yelled, seeing us from a distance as he honked the horn loudly. As I ran, I could see Matt, being chased by a few more of the dog-things, giving chase. Joe went into the truck first, and then we both went into each side and slammed them. Dad then sped off very quickly, scared they may get to us.
“What was that”, I panted, confused.
“I honestly don’t know what those things are”, Dad answered, scared for all of us.
“I want to go home”, Matt pleaded, tired from running away from those things.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon. I promise”, Mom reassured.
“Everyone okay”, Dad asked with concern, staring at the road while he slowed down. We all looked at each other in fearful confusion, even Joe. I looked at Joe, and he then looked at me. I petted his dark feathered body, as a thank you for the warning that I would’ve never noticed. “Okay, we are moving on”, Dad concluded. We sat in silence, although I was still petting Joe.
“Hey, Matt, do you know what dinosaur he is”, I asked Matt.
“I don’t know. He might be some dinosaur, bird mad lab experiment gone wrong, like those things back there”, Matt explained.
“Or some mess-up chicken in a lab”, Dad suggested, still looking at the road.
“I don’t think he was a chicken”, Matt rebutted. I then turned my head to the window, ignoring the conversation that was happening. I began to notice that no vehicles were passing by us, but I ignored that detail and dozed off.
I saw those same lights in the dark vision of my closed eyes. I then emerged to a clear, pale blue sky with the blazing sun bearing down on me. Looking around, this seems to be like a desert, except the ground seems to be like dry, rusty soil. It feels hot here, hotter than one of those summers in my former town. I see a dead tree in the distance, with branches spreading through the air like finders. I heard a sound behind me.
“Wake up! We are here”, Matt said as he shook me awake. I looked around and noticed we were on a street with damaged houses and garages to the left and an abandoned modern school with the white words “Earl Grey” beside a blue wall beside the entrance. The school lies hiding behind a metal fence with dead trees behind it. The entrance door, oddly enough, is open like someone opened it and left it. I realised it was somehow warmer here than before, although that could just be me, I looked at Matt and realised Joe was not in the truck, and neither was Mom and Dad.
“Hey, where’s Mom and Dad”, I asked Matt.
“Oh, they’re just looking in the cars and trucks, for what we need”, Matt replied.
“And Joe?”
“Oh, just running across the road.” Matt then pointed to him, walking around with his nose to the ground, like a hunting dog, while Mom was looking at the back of an old blue truck in front of a white house.
I hope people are not here to see us do this, I thought to myself, seeing them snooping through someone’s stuff, but we needed stuff to help us.
“Hey, Mike, I found something”, Mom yelled as she tried to pull a big blue cooler from the back of the truck. Dad then came from an RV down from the truck and came and helped her. He then put it down on the road and opened it. They both plugged their noses and backed away.
“Fish? Who leaves fish in a cooler in the back of a truck”, Dad gagged. Joe then looked up, seemingly in excitement and ran towards the cooler. He stuck his nose in the cooler and pulled out a pike. He plopped it on the road, his foot stepped on the fish and put his mouth onto it, tearing a piece of it and swallowing it. “At least somebody likes rotten fish”, Dad rasped.
As we looked in surprise, we could hear something from the school. The minute we heard it, a loud boar-like roar came out from the school. We thought it was a very big boar when it came out, but the more we looked, the more we realised it was something else. Its body is like a boar, but its face is like a lion’s and the snout of a camel, with teeth somewhat like a bear’s when it opens its enormous mouth to gargle like a pig. Mom, Dad and even Joe are taken by surprise, making our parents run towards the driveway, while Joe towards our truck with his gorged fish, standing by us. The boar-thing then stopped a few feet away from my parents, seemingly in a defensive stance, hooves scratching the ground. We are scared for our parents, preparing to see this thing rip them to shreds.
It gave one last roar and walked towards the cooler, knocking it over with fish spilling out. It stuck its snout in the fish and swallowed one down. They then slowly walked around the creature and steadily fastened their pace until they were at the truck. We all quickly got in and Dad backed up quickly.
“What the hell was that”, Mom panicked.
“I don’t know, a pig from hell”, Dad responded. We looked at Joe, swallowing down the fish while the rotting fish smell remained. It looked at us in confusion, as we were. We silently laughed for no apparent reason, probably as a mechanism to try to replace the fear. We then heard a shaking in the truck, startling us. We realised that the hell pig was tearing at the bumper of the truck like a lion would. Dad hammered the horn, making the thing back up in surprise. Dad took this opportunity to back up very quickly towards the intersection and turned to the left, quickly avoiding the creature. We sat in silence, except for Joe who was chirping.
When we went down the street, the houses, as usual, were damaged but we saw other vehicles, the first we had seen. Some were parked along the street, others stuck on one lane like city traffic but paused. Weirdly enough, there are no people in the vehicles, nor anyone outside. Most of the vehicles have one or more doors open like people got out to go somewhere. We drove past all the vehicles in the other lane. There is one vehicle we passed by that is on fire, most of the paint already off to reveal the metal beneath, only to be turned into a rainbow of browns and blacks by the dancing flames.
“What. Happened. Here”, Mom slowly asked, as confused and terrified as us. We had a feeling of dread, seeing all the abandoned vehicles.
“That’s the least of our worries. We should be looking for supplies”, Dad responded.
“Hey, how much do we have”, Mom asked Dad, worried about using up the fuel.
“Well, we got a full tank of gas and travelled a hundred kilometers”, Dad responded, more confused. “Nothing makes sense here and I hope we don’t stay here for long”, he muttered.
Eventually, we passed most of the vehicles and reached the veterinary clinic. The small, intact structure stood there, seemingly looking over the icy driveway. We then spotted an old, brown truck and we saw something that set it apart from the rest of the vehicles we’ve seen so far.
“It’s on”, I said, gleefully, with hope that, at least, we aren’t the only ones here. The headlights beamed brightly, and we realised it was getting dark. We also noticed that the street lights aren’t turning on.
“I thought there was no one here”, my Mom said, unsure of the connection between the abandoned but running truck and the lack of people in this town. At one of the intact houses, ahead of us, partially blocked by the trees, we saw what seemed to be bright light coming from one of the windows. What person would go into a house after an earthquake, I thought, thinking about our house back home.
“Someone’s here”, Matt loudly notified, as we all shushed him and that is when Joe is trying to push the door with his snout. “What is he doing?”
“Stay here”, Dad calmly ordered, opening the door, but Joe scurried out and went somewhere else.
“Hey, come back”, Matt called out, with no success. Joe eventually disappeared into the night, never to be seen. Matt then had tears welling up in his eyes like he was about to cry. I hugged him to comfort him.
“He’ll come back some time”, Mom reassured, trying to calm him down and looking at Dad. Dad nodded and grabbed a flashlight that was equipped in the truck. He then walked slowly towards the house, step by step, being shone by our truck’s headlights. He looked back at us and put his hand up when the light in the house moved. It seems to move towards the front door of the house. Emerging from the house is a person walking down the steps, cloaked in darkness. Dad then took a few steps back as the figure came. Finally, the figure stepped into the light.

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weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

I (44f) returned my birthday gift to my mother yesterday. My mother is narcissistic, toxic, dramatic, manipulative, and cruel. She has treated me like crap my whole life by always putting me last, and I have seen her celebrate other female family members like my cousins or her daughter in laws by spending time with them and being kind to them. She treats me opposite. She refuses to spend any time with me. It’s awful.
Last week, she wanted to take my son out who is 5 to buy his birthday gifts to make sure his clothes fit and his birthday is in June. I refused. I’ve asked her to take me out shopping for shoes, and she says to go to the store, pick them out, and then leave them with the cashier. Then, phone her and she will buy them. Okay. Or to send her what I want. She never does anything with me.
Also, I am plus size. No shame is this. I have lost 60 pounds. She’s aware of this because I told her. Every birthday or holiday, she buys me clothes from the same store for 20 years which she thinks I should wear and they are always too big for me. She buys me shoes and sandals I don’t wear. However, she always buys my husband, my sons, my sister in laws whatever they ask for. For me, it’s never what I ask for or want.
Also, the clothes bothers me because she’s put me on diets since I was 10. I weighed 150 pounds and I was 5’6. She took me to weight watchers and said I was fat. My whole teenage years she had me on diet after diet, going to the gym and having really low self esteem and thinking I was ugly and fat until I met my husband. Her buying me these too big clothes triggers me that she is trying to tell me what I wear isn‘t up to her expectations and makes me feel insecure all other again.
Last week, she asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said I would like money even $20 because I am going on vacation this summer. She said no and she was buying me clothes from the same stores and would include receipts. I told her not to buy them because I wouldn’t wear them. It’s a waste of money. She didn’t listen to me again and bought them.
I gave her flowers on Friday for Mother’s Day with a nice card. This is what she asked for. So, she dropped my gift off yesterday when I wasn’t even home. She never thanked me for the flowers and ignored me on Mother’s Day. I opened the gift and it was clothes that don’t fit and shoes I don’t wear. So, I left the gift at her door with the receipts. No explanation.
I got a phone call last night at ten. She left me a voice mail calling me a disgusting b$tch and she was telling all her sisters I returned the gift. Then, she called me a horrible mother and she would go to cps because my kids don’t know how to talk to her. My preteens don’t want to talk to her. She embarrassed them and my one son sees how she treats me with his own eyes and doesn’t want to be around her. I’m not going to force him. She said I’m ruining her relationships with her daughter in laws. I don’t see them at all- her dils.
So, Aita for leaving the gift at her door with receipts? She said I wouldn’t be getting the $400 back she would get once she returned the gifts which I don’t want obviously.
Extra note: I went through ivf to have my youngest child. She wanted me to do gender selection and she is Catholic. She wanted me to have a girl. I refused. I ended up with my son and when she found out he was a boy she says it was the worst day of her life and she would never accept him. I also started bleeding with him 3 months into the pregnancy and almost lost him. She was shopping with my sil 10 minutes from the doctor. She refused to come and see if I was ok. This one example of how awful she is to me.

I've seen quite a few posts recently about REAs declining pet requests and people just accepting it.
Fact is, since March 2020 your rights are very cut and dry about this and they're in the TENANTS favour. They can be found here. Note: These laws are current as of today 14th May 2024. Pets in rental properties - Consumer Affairs Victoria
I'll attempt to lay it out as simply as possible.
Firstly, all pet requests must use the following form. One for each pet. https://www.consumer.vic.gov.au/search-results?s=pet+request+form
You submit this form to the REA. They then pass it on to the landlord. At which point the landlord then has 14 days (from the day after they receive the application) to notify the tenant that they have applied to VCAT to deny your claim. The notification can't say that they will be applying, but that they already have and it must also include a copy of their application to VCAT.
If you do not hear back from the landlord within 14 days, you are in the clear and well within your rights to go and get the pet.
If you do receive the correct notification that the landlord has applied, you must NOT get the pet until VCAT has reached a verdict.
There are however potential reasons to deny your application without need for applying to VCAT. If for instance you live in a flat, unit or apartment, there is potentially a body corporate that has it's own rules regarding pets. If this is the case, the landlord must again, notify you within 14 days and also provide the relevant documentation from the body corporate.
Just because they apply to deny your application, this does not mean they will be granted a right to deny. They cannot unreasonably refuse your application. You want a cat in your apartment? Provided the body corporate is fine with it, there won't be an issue. You want to keep a large dog like a Doberman, Rottweiler, Labrador or whatever in your apartment? Expect it to be rejected... Lets be reasonable here!
The pet must also be allowed be under your local council laws. This one is on you to know.
Now, some landlords may agree but give you stipulations. You don't have to agree to them. In which case, the landlord must again apply to VCAT. Some landlords may demand you pay an additional "pet bond" ...thats nice, tell them very politely to get fucked. You do not have to pay it.
Now look, they go on about pets causing damage to the property and you being responsible. Yep. Very true. Cat pisses all over the carpet and creates a stench... thats on you. Don't be a dick. Do keep in mind though, that when the landlord makes a damages claim to VCAT to fix that piss soaked carpet, VCAT will keep in mind fair wear and tear plus age and condition.
This is not a guide on how to make nice and be friendly with your REA and Landlord. This is a guide to your rights and what you can and can't do. If they just say no pets and deny your application without applying to VCAT and knowing your rights you wait the two weeks and then go and get the pet as you're allowed too... don't expect the REAs to be all pleasant about it. They're going to be cunts. Because REAs are cunts and their word is above law and God almighty... Just ask them! Ha!
Hopefully, this has cleared some shit up for people and is also a post that can be referenced when this question comes up in the sub. Did I miss anything or does anyone want some clarification on something? Happy to answer!

I am contemplating going on Lexapro. I struggle with anxiety and depression like a lot of people but it’s not like I can’t get out of bed to go through the motions of my life, I just find it really hard at times but I always manage to just keep going.
My biggest concern is these intrusive thoughts that I have. I have the most irrational thoughts enter my mind and they just swirl around and around in my brain tormenting me to a point where I just can’t stand it.
For example, the other day I spent several hundred dollars on some new business shirts, I tried them on at the store and felt that they fit like a glove and I loved them and I bought four of them. Then today my first day wearing one of them to work, I got it in to my head that maybe the shirt was too big (even though it looks like it fits me perfectly in the mirror and feels like it fits perfectly) however I didn’t try on the smaller size at the store so how can I be sure that I bought the right size without ruling out the smaller size??? I spent the whole day obsessing over this even though the rational side of me thinks I bought the right size however I won’t be able to get this thought out of my head without going back to the store to try on the smaller size just to rule out that it is definitely too small and I bought the correct size in the first place.
It doesn’t help talking to anyone about these thoughts because all they do is point out how irrational it is which I am fully self aware of however that doesn’t stop how much these thoughts bother me. I have so many good things in my life that I should be grateful for but I always to find some stupid new irrational issue to obsess over. I holds me back socially as I don’t like letting friends, family etc. get close to me because I don’t want them to see what a lunatic I am. I just want the noise in my head to quiet down so I can just be a normal person. I am scared however of side effects, weight gain, erectile issues, the possibility that Lexapro could make things worse and then the painful process of trying to get off them.
Does anyone have a like experience that they could share? I’d appreciate any honest opinions. Thank you

The Purpose of Life for Man

One of the most direct verses on the subject of "the meaning (or purpose) of (human) life" in the Bible can be found in Revelation:

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."-Revelation 4:11

This, of course, should prompt us to ask what exactly does God take pleasure in?
Conversely, what doesn't He take pleasure in?

"Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"-Micah 6:6-8

God does not take pleasure in mere outward religiosity and ritual, but rather finds honest acts of love towards Him and others as more important when pertaining to our fulfillment of what God expects from us as His creation. God takes great pleasure in us doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him. This is what He requires of us. In other words...

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil."-Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

The Book of Ecclesiastes is an existential treatise on the futility of finding any meaning or fulfillment in life apart from God. In it, "the Preacher" (or "Teacher" in some translations) explores the limits of human experiences which may provide meaning or fulfillment in this life before the author of the book inevitably concludes that the only thing we can do that has any kind of meaning or permanence in the end is fearing God and keeping His commandments. The reason for this is because the march of time and our own mortality effectively make most human endeavors hevel. The Hebrew word "hevel" is translated as vanity in the King James.
The following is taken from BibleProject:

In Hebrew, hevel literally refers to “vapor” or “smoke.” The teacher uses this word 38 times throughout the book of Ecclesiastes as a metaphor to describe how life is temporary and fleeting, like a wisp of smoke, but also how life is an enigma or paradox. Smoke appears solid, but when you try to grab it, it’s like nothing is there.

[...]

The author’s basic goal is to target all of the ways we try to build meaning and purpose in life apart from God and then let the teacher deconstruct them. The author thinks that people spend most of their time investing energy and emotion in things that ultimately have no lasting meaning or significance. And so he allows the teacher to give us a reality check.

The Preacher gives us a "reality check" by demonstrating how time and death effectively make things like scientific and artistic discovery (1:10-11), mirth (2:1), alcohol (2:3), architecture (2:4), amassing property (2:7-8), and luxury (2:8) all hevel. Materialism and hedonism fail to fulfill, and though wisdom and righteousness are acknowledged by the preacher to be advantageous, the righteous and wise are still often victims of injustice and unfairness in the world while the wicked get to prosper and have longevity at times (1:13-18). Generally, your life will probably be better by living in the wisdom given in Proverbs (Ecc. 7:11-12; 9:13-18), but it's no guarantee that you will have a good life as bad things still happen to good people, and good things still happen to bad people. This isn't entirely "hevel" but it's confusing and disorienting because things don't always work out the way we think they should in this life.
Again, from BibleProject:

So what’s the way forward in the midst of all this hevel? Paradoxically, the teacher discovers that the key to truly enjoying life is accepting hevel, acknowledging that everything in your life is totally out of your control. About six different times, at the bleakest moments in his dialogue, the teacher suddenly talks about “the gift of God,” which is the enjoyment of the simple, good things in life such as friendship, family, a good meal, or a sunny day.
You and I can’t control the most important things in our lives. Nothing is guaranteed, and, strangely, that’s the beauty of it. When I adopt a posture of complete trust in God, it frees me to simply enjoy life as I actually experience it and not as I think it ought to be. In the end, even my expectations about life, my hopes and dreams, are all “hevel, hevel. Everything under the sun is hevel.”
The teacher’s words come to an end, and the author takes over, bringing the book to a close. He says that it is very important to hear what the teacher has to say. He likens the teacher’s words to a shepherd’s staff with a goad, a pointy end that will hurt when it pokes you. But that pain can ultimately steer you in the right direction towards greater wisdom.
The author warns us not to take the teacher’s words too far. You can spend your entire life buried in books trying to answer the existential puzzles of human life. Don’t exhaust yourself, he says. You’ll never get there. Instead, the author offers his own conclusion that we should “fear God and keep his commands; this is the whole duty of humans. For God will bring every deed into judgment, every hidden thing, whether good or evil” (Ec. 12:13-14).

Fearing the Lord doesn’t guarantee success in this life, but it is the right thing to do, and ultimately God will clear the "hevel" and bring His justice on all we have done. Therefore, we ought to keep God's commandments.
Through Jesus, we see the Bible clearing the confusion many have, and still have, about God's commandments and what exactly they are (in essence, at least):

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."-Matthew 22:37-40

The apostle Paul puts it like this:

"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14

The apostle John, like this:

"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."-1 John 4:16

In other words, the first and second greatest commandments can be seen as inextricably intertwined, as one cannot truly love God without loving their fellow man, and vice versa.
So, to put it bluntly, the meaning, or purpose, of (human) life according to the Bible is simply love.

"What Does It Mean to Love Biblically?"

But, what exactly is love anyway? We know that, according to the apostle John, God is love. But, what does that mean exactly?
The ancient Greeks had anywhere between four and eight different words for love (depending on the source):

• Storge: affection
  
• Philia or Phileo: friendship
  
• Eros: sexual, erotic
  
• Agape: unconditional, divine, selfless
  
• Ludus: flirtatious, playful, casual, uncommitted
  
• Pragma: committed, long-standing
  
• Philautia: self-love
  
• Mania: obsessive, possessive, addictive, dependent
  

The word translated as "charity" in the KJV's rendering of 1st Corinthians 13 is agape. A more accurate translation of the word would be "love," more specifically, the love of God. In this passage, Paul talks about the importance of having this kind of love for others compared to all the things we might typically obsess over concerning the things of God. Even things like charity to the poor itself, if not motivated by agape, does not impress God! Our motivations and heart matter to God just as much, if not more, than our actions themselves.
This is what the Bible defines as true love, or at least, is the kind of love it's most concerned about.
In order to demonstrate to another that we love them, we sacrifice something. For God, He sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins (John 3:16). For Jesus, he sacrificed himself to save us from our sins:

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."-John 15:13

In essence, true love is self-sacrifice. Putting others before ourselves is the greatest kind of sacrifice.
God didn't have to send His Son, but He did. Jesus didn't have to accept the mission, but he did.
God loves you, and Jesus loves you.
We demonstrate to others that we love them by sacrificing our wants and desires for them. These sacrifices can range from really small, to really big. Loving others is a daily practice of making greater and greater sacrifices.

“You can will to love people. Love is not a feeling. Love is a willing, and the Lord says to love people. He did not mean [to merely] feel love for them” — A.W. Tozer

A stumbling block for many in their walk with God is the inability to love one's enemies and to love unlovable people as Jesus did. It’s difficult for us to show love to people we don’t feel love for; to people we despise or dislike. We also tend to struggle with extending grace and mercy to those who’ve hurt us. I myself often wonder whether I am even capable of loving everyone the way Jesus does.
As I grow in my faith, I realize it’s not that I’m incapable of loving like Jesus; I’m just not always willing to. My unwillingness to love indicates that I am unwittingly adopting the worldly view of love, which is based on feelings and merit. I am choosing not to love people I feel are underserving of my love. The more I study Scripture, though, the more I realize Biblical love is not a feeling or an emotion; it’s a decision. It is an action, and it’s sacrificial. It’s not something you feel; it is, again, something you practice.

“Biblical love is a choice to do good for another person regardless of what we feel. It is a decision to compassionately and righteously pursue the betterment of another person. This is why you can even love your enemies according to Christ’s command.” — Tony Evans

Jesus commands us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). He also said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). Since the Lord commands us to love, that means it is within our power to do so; therefore, love is a decision we make. Although feelings will accompany love, it’s not an emotion; it’s the decision to love regardless of how we feel.
As believers, we’re taught to love our enemies, and do good to those who hate us, and if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, "turn to him the other also" (Matt. 5:39). It’s not easy to do; hating our enemies comes naturally to us because of our evil nature. It is impossible to love our enemies on our own strength; we need the help of the Spirit of God.
The decision to love your enemies arises from the decision to obey the will of God and the desire to be Christlike. We choose to love our enemies because God said so and loved us first. Jesus said we are to love as he loved us.

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”-Romans 5:8

So Biblical love is sacrificial love. It is not a feeling but an act of will; the desire to put the welfare of others above your own. This type of love is not a love based on affection or emotion. Instead, it’s agape love, a love that is not concerned with self but is concerned more with the good of others.
We are not going to like everyone, nor are we called to; we are called to love everyone regardless of how we feel about them. It’s possible to love someone without feeling love for them when we decide to love everyone the way God loves us. The more we love through our actions, the decision to love will become a choice the heart is more willing to make.
Again, this doesn’t mean you will like or feel love for everyone, but when you put your trust in the Lord and pursue wisdom and holiness through prayer and Scripture, you will naturally develop a love for others.
To put it succinctly: Biblical love seeks the best interests of others, even our enemies, often to the detriment of ourselves. "Best interests" here doesn't necessarily mean what the other person thinks are their own best interests. It just means we do for them what we know or believe is best for them, and what we know or believe is best for them should be informed by an active participation with the Spirit of God and by His Word (the Bible) itself. Feelings may or may not accompany this, but how we feel towards the other is not what determines whether or not we're exhibiting the love of God, in the view of Jesus and the apostles. In their view, it's about whether or not we can still decide to seek the best interests of those who might harm us, or who we might not even like.

What the Real Heavenly Treasure Is

Now, this all brings us to an important question that needs to be answered: Is it wrong to love God and others while making a reward the objective for doing so?
We must ask this question, because all throughout Scripture we are told that the faithful followers of God will be "rewarded" some day for everything they've done to merit this. Giving an exhaustive list of passages that proves this point would be endless, but here are some examples of just a few:

"Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just."-Luke 14:12-14
"I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."-Acts 20:35
"But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil."-Luke 6:35

The answer to this question depends on what we define as "rewards." Most will typically adopt some vague idea of material possesions that await the believer when they get to heaven as one's reward for faithfulness towards God, or that the reward is simply an escape from punishment for one's own sins, or perhaps even some combination of these things both.
However, none of these are the "rewards" the Lord is promising to those who obey the first and second commandments. If they were, our motivation to love God and others would ultimately be selfish. Think about it. Our motivation for rewards would inherently be me-centered, and not other-centered.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ gives the following command:

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."-Matthew 6:19-21

We know there are heavenly treasures, because Jesus says so, but what are they? The issue of heavenly treasures or eternal rewards is riddled with question marks. It’s a subject that has been abused by some (“Store up treasure by giving to my ministry”) and left in the too-hard basket by others.
But the answer here is simple, and two-fold. One of our rewards are God Himself:

"After these things the word of the Lord came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward."-Genesis 15:1
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."-Hevrews 11:6

What is the reward of the seeker but to find that which is sought? If you are searching for God, you will find Him and He will be your very great reward.
Now, if you are the newest believer or the eleventh-hour worker, you will be as richly blessed as the oldest, most faithful saint. Eternity will not be divided into the haves and have-nots, for we are all one in the New Jerusalem.
But we can distinguish God our reward from the heavenly treasure that Jesus said can be stored up. You cannot "store up" more of God, after all.
So what are heavenly treasures? The answer may surprise you, but it’s people.

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."-Psalm 127:3

What is the only thing you can take with you? People, a.k.a. eternal friends, a.k.a. spiritual offspring. This Psalm is not just talking about biological children. God has bigger plans for you and they involve spiritual children. Lots of them. Dozens. Hundreds. Thousands. Millions. Don’t limit God.
So much time and effort is spent debating heavenly treasures as though they were some great mystery. What are they? Jesus makes it plain: it's people.

• Just as Abraham was called to be the father of many nations, so are you.
  
• Jesus said those who followed him would be fishers of men. What is a fisherman’s reward? It’s fish, or people in this case.
  
• What is the reward of the one who sows and waters the good seed? It’s a harvest of people.
  
• What is treasure that never wears out and cannot be stolen? It’s people.
  

God's heart cries, “I treasure children. The more, the better!” In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus introduces God as our heavenly Father. In Matthew chapter 6, Jesus says God is a Father who rewards us. And what is a father’s reward?
It is children.
“Sounds great, but I am no evangelist.” You don’t need to be an evangelist to win eternal friends. Believers can live such godly lives that unbelievers will be won to the kingdom (1 Pet. 2:12; Matt. 5:16).
God's desire is to grow the world’s largest family and He treats people like treasure. This is obvious once you see it. Indeed, it’s a theme that runs throughout Scripture:

"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth."-Deuteronomy 7:6
"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth."-Deuteronomy 14:2
"And the Lord hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments;"-Deuteronomy 26:18
"To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious, Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ. Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded. Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner, And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed. But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;"-1 Peter 2:4-9

Like Jesus, Paul eagerly gave to the poor (Gal. 2:10). He did not give out of religious duty or to put a shine on his reputation. He did it because he loved people and wanted to share the love of God with as many as possible (1 Cor. 13:3).
Life is a gift that is easily wasted. We can waste it running after inferior rewards that rust, or we can do what Jesus and Paul did and invest ourselves in the only reward that lasts: people.

God Is Faithful

Someone once asked me, "Why would God be concerned as to whether or not we 'have trust and confidence in him' when He's judging us and when He determines what our fate will be?"
Having trust and confidence in God, according to the Biblical authors, is required for us to fulfill His commandment that we love Him, and thus also love others. (See Hebrews 11.)
As with a spouse, you cannot truly love them if you do not have some level of trust or confidence in them, and vice versa. All relationships require trust, from both parties. God wants us to trust Him that He will keep His promises towards those of us who love and follow Him. He also wants to trust us that we will enter the kingdom of heaven with a righteous and loving character. He doesn't want another rebellion in paradise, so He's trying to see if we truly love righteousness for righteousness' sake. A truly righteous person wouldn't want to rebel against Him when the time comes that they enter the kingdom of God themselves, because a person with a righteous character wouldn't ever do such a thing.
As Open Theists, we believe we're being consistent in our belief that God, at times, puts trials before us to test whether or not we will remain trustworthy enough in our character to be deemed worthy of entrance into His kingdom. The Classical Theist doesn't have the luxury of being consistent if they have this same belief.
In the Book of Job, Satan makes an accusation towards someone God has deemed as truly righteous: Job.
Satan assails God’s wisdom and character in running the world by alleging that people only serve Him because of what they get out of it. God protects them from disaster and blesses them in other ways. Their obedience, he is suggesting, isn’t really a free choice. "There is no genuine virtue in the world," Satan is claiming. "There are only self-serving bargains, and obedience for the sake of being protected and blessed is one of them. Hence, true holiness and virtuous obedience are an illusion." "Take away a person’s protection," Satan insists, "and let me have my way with people, and they will stop living for God" (Job 1:9-11; 2:4-5).
God has so much faith in Job that he will not succumb to proving the false accusations being levied towards him and God's way of running things in general that He ends up accepting the challenge. For God, this is as much a test of His faith towards His servant as it is for Job for his Lord. The adversary, we see, was assailing God’s integrity and wisdom in overseeing the creation. Satan was, in effect, accusing God of being a Machiavellian ruler. In the context of this narrative, it was an assault that could only be refuted by being put to the test.
Had God simply forced Satan into silence, without proving him wrong, it would have simply confirmed the accuracy of Satan’s charge. It would have shown that there is no integrity or wisdom in how God runs the world after all. "There is only the exercise of power, used to manipulate beings into obeying Him. People serve God only as a bargain, not out of genuine love."
No, the challenge had to be answered by having it put to the test. The most righteous man on the earth was thus chosen to be tested. If Job failed, the narrative suggests, then Satan will have made his point. If he succeeded, however, then God’s wisdom and integrity in running the cosmos will have been vindicated. Hence, the protective fence around Job is removed and Satan is allowed to afflict him.
In the end, Job proves faithful to God and is even referenced in the New Testament as an example of the kind of faithfulness He expected of first century believers facing persecution and trials:

"Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy."-James 5:11

While most of us aren't dealing with the life-threatening kind of persecution that believers faced in the first century, for the very fact that the eschatological end of physical Israel and the Old Covenant system was fastly approaching for them (and already has approached), we still each face our own trials that God puts in our lives as individuals to see if we truly love Him. Job is simply the ultimate example of one who loved God because they chose to, not because God forced them to.
After all, you never know if your love is pure if it isn't tested...

I got to thinking about the powers of a Meruem who survived the Rose poison and went on to rule the world. This also assumes he is aware of the Dark Continent and that there are creatures there who could pose a threat to him. These Hatsu will be seperated into categories, since there's a lot of them.
Mostly, this was a chance to go absolutely wild with the pinnacle of Nen. I hope you enjoy reading busted abilities.
Foundational:
Aura Synthesis (Emission): By consuming the aura of another individual, Meruem permanently adds their aura to his reserves. This also allows him to reverse engineer any Hatsu they possessed perfectly, and improve them using his own Nen skill.
En Photons (Emission): By emitting individual particles of Nen, Meruem can gain the effects of En with effectively zero effort or aura investiture. More importantly, En Photons in contact with an individual with aura can become laden in the targets aura, returning to Meruem and activating Aura Synthesis. This means that, just by being in the same area as someone, Meruem can copy their Hatsu, and take as much of their aura reserves for himself as he pleases, though this is obviously massively faster the closer Meruem is to the target.
Specialization Access: By absorbing Aura from many specialists, Meruem gained the ability to use Specialization as if it were a normal Nen type, with 60% efficiency.
Combat:
Unshackle (Specialization): Meruem can only use this ability in a situation where he feels harm could come upon him from a source other than himself. To activate it, he must cut himself, and he cannot use Nen (including Enhancement healing) to heal it, or allow another to heal it for him. Once activated, Meruem gains 100% efficiency in all Nen categories while Unshackled. When Meruem ends this ability, 99% of his Aura pool is sealed away from him for ten times as long as he maintained Unshackle.
Transformation (Transmutation): A mix of Youpi's shapeshifting and Beelzebub, this ability allows Meruem to freely alter his form for mobility, combat, healing, and more. This is so potent that, as long as Meruem can maintain a a core the size of an ant, he can reform from nearly anything that doesn't destroy him on a cellular level. Unshackled, this ability allows Meruem to manipulate his body at the molecular level, though reconstituting large numbers of destroyed cells requires immense focus.
Spiritual Message (Emission, Manipulation): Meruem can read the mental, emotional, and aura makeup of anyone in contact with his En photons. This is so detailed that he can read minds and determine the Hatsu of targets instantly. This works on Dark Continent entities, though their complexity and uniqueness means that Meruem needs a few moments to derive useful conclusions, which is greatly reduced when Unshackled.
Mirror Clone (Emission, Manipulation): An emitted copy of himself, mirror clones do not have real substance and can be destroyed if their physical form is disrupted. They can use most of his Hatsu, and any aura granted to them is returned to Meruem if they are destroyed or are dismissed, as well as memories of everything they experienced. Although Mirror clones can move independently, they lack their own consciousness, and generally act on the last order given to them by Meruem.
Perfect Clone (Conjuration, Manipulation): Can only be activated when Unshackled. A true flesh and blood copy of Meruem. Instead of being granted a sum of Aura on creation, a Perfect Clone is instead granted a percentage of Meruem's pool, which it can recover on its own if expended, potentially even growing with Aura Synthesis. Perfect Clone is fully independent, and acts as an exact copy of Meruem's consciousness, meaning that personality drift is a real danger. Meruem considers this ability undignified, but holds it in reserve for creatures like Ai that can instantly kill anything at any range. If either the copy or original dies, the remainder receives the full Aura pool.
False Form (Conjuration): By using replacement-type conjuration to create a copy of his own body, Meruem can sustain bodily harm without it affecting his actual body. This ability normally has a latency of half a second to re-create a destroyed body part, but this is removed when Unshackled.
Executioner's Sword (Conjuration): Only usable Unshackled. Anything living pierced by this blade dies. Only one can be conjured at a time, even between clones.
Domain:
Heart of the Emperor (Conjuration): Meruem conjures an onyx shard. Any creature with this shard embedded in their heart is protected against the majority of the negative effects of Meruem's domains. Anyone else with a shard is treated as Meruem for the purpose of the domains effects.
Domain Activation (Emission): Can only be used Unshackled. Meruem emits a Nen space and teleports himself and any number of other targets into it. Each domain can only be activated if all previous domains were unsucessful in defeating one or more targets inside, and were active for at least 30 seconds on that target. Although each domain has a unique ability, all of them teleport En Photons directly between Meruem and the target, causing Aura drain to happen at a ludicrous rate.
Dimensional Anchor (Emission): Anything struck by the ray fired by this ability finds themselves unable to teleport by any means. This also foils any attempts to escape emitted spaces.
Domain I - Fields of Mourning (Manipulation): A seemingly infinite, listless field, this domain exploits the emotional vulnerabilities of the target, forcing victims to relive trauma, become overwhelmed with regret, or simply have all motivation drained away from them. Meruem can skip this domain against opponents that do not have emotions.
Domain 2 - Chains of Tartarus (Manipulation, Conjuration, Specialization): Worked stone and metal chains fill this domain. Targets inside of this domain have their body, mind, and aura seperated, unable to interact with each other. The body is paralyzed, the mind filled with pain and chaotic thoughts, and the aura rendered inert. Chans and manacles are conjured onto the target that interfere their ability to act in any way.
Domain 3 - Pits of Asphodel (Emission, Transmutation, Manipulation, Conjuration, Enhancement, Specialization): Pools of magma and gouts of flames fill this domain. This domain attempts to physically destroy the target by as many means as possible simultaneously. Heat, cold, vibration, ionization, entropy, and many more methods are used to destroy the target at an atomic, or sometimes subatomic level.
Domain 4 - Weight of Chronos (Specialization): A massive clock as the floor, with an endless abyss in every direction. This domain stops time, freezes space, and calcifies reality. Even Meruem is able to only observe and think, though he has near omniescense in this state within the domain. The purpose of this domain is to give Meruem the chance to observe, calculate, and formulate against a target that was able to resist the first three domains.
Domain 5 - Personalized Tapestry of Fate (Specialization + More?); The exact parameters of this domain are created while Weight of Chronos is active. Its purpose is to exploit weaknesses of the target in a way that allows them to be destroyed in ways that were not possible with the previous domains. If this is not possible with something standard, this serves simply to delay the target until the sixth domain unlocks.
Domain 6 - Unraveling (Specialization, Manipulation): Reality itself begins to unravel as this domain activates. This domain does not attack the target's body, mind, or aura. Instead, it attacks them as a concept, unraveling their very being at such a foundational level that there is little opportunity to resist.
Domain 7 - Colosseum (Enhancement): A large, roman colosseum. If all else fails, wearing the target down may be the only choice. When this domain activates, Meruem may take the opportunity to create a Perfect Clone outside the domain. While the domain is active, Meruem becomes five times more potent in every regard, and targets become five times weaker. Meruem also has his Aura efficiency massively increased, with expended aura mostly trickling back into his Aura pool, making him limitlessly enduring, while targets become massively inefficient, expending many times what they would even in a non weakened state. Note that this applies to unusual abilities like Ai's wishes as well.
Utility:
Teleportation (Emission): Meruem or something he targets teleports. This is instantaneous up to 100 meters (1 kilometer Unshackled), but requires concentration proportional to distance for longer teleports. In his Emitted spaces, Meruem can freely teleport anywhere within or between them. Can be used to escape Conjured or Emitted spaces.
Reactive Instincts (Manipulation, Specialization): Meruem is constantly self-manipulated with this ability, which reacts to danger or unusual situations. It can intuit danger that Meruem would have no way of percieving, and can activate any of his Hatsu autonomously. If someone wished for Alluka to kill Meruem, Reactive Instincts would Unshackle and create a Perfect Clone immediately before he died, allowing him to escape unscathed.
Hideaway (Emission, Conjuration): Meruem creates a new space, 'layered' slightly off from regular reality, and tucks himself or something else there. Although he can still percieve his surroundings with En Photons, very few methods can locate or target something that doesn't exist within regular spacetime.
Sacrificial Exorcism (Emission, Specialization): If Meruem is affected with a Nen curse or similar affliction, he may transfer it to a willing target in the form of a disease. Although powerful curses may result in afflictions on the same level as what Gon suffered, they will never be fatal (though survival may become nearly impossible with something on that level). If the target retains the curse for at leas ten years, and is still loyal to Meruem, their death causes the curse to die with them.
Exotic Matter Manipulation (Transmutation, Manipulation): Although technically many hatsu, I decided to group these together. Using his knowledge of physics, Meruem can create unusual states of matter to perform incredible feats, like creating black holes to form stable wormholes, to using transmuted antimatter to convert matter into energy. Physicists could probably suggest more weird stuff. Many of these must be Unshackled to come into effect properly.
Identity Safeguard (Specialization, Emission): Tucked away in an emitted space is a copy of the concept that makes Meruem what he is. If this is damaged somehow, he can use his backup.
Matter Reconstruction (Manipulation, Transmutation, Emission): Meruem can manipulate matter he infuses his aura into, reconfiguring it into any form he desires. Unshackled, this can manipulate atoms, changing the elements of the matter he is working with.
Timestream Shift (Specialization): If multiple streams of time are occurring simultaneously, he can enter whichever he pleases. Against Netero, he could use this ability to match Netero's time compression.

For context: I was born into a failing family. My dad is a rageful alcoholic with food addiction and hoarding issues. He could be cold and cruel. My mom fluctuated and is inconsistently reliable. At her best, she is warm, nurturing and funny. But she can be vulnerable, manipulative and controlling or distant and in-her-own-little-world at times as well. My elder sibling was resentful of any attention I received and bullied me regularly. When we were very young, my elder sibling violated my physical boundaries intimately in a way I believe left me with long-term fallout that my parents failed to notice due to their self-absorption.
In early childhood I was "painfully shy," even going so far as to hide under furniture when family or friends would visit. I failed my preschool screening not because I could not answer the questions correctly, but because I refused to speak to the person administering it.
We had a turbulent childhood--a messy divorce between our parents, during which we were more pawns than kids, and so much moving around I lose track of how many times I was "new kid." When I started getting bullied for seeming gay (I wasn't out yet, even to myself) in high school my parents didn't notice, even though I went from A student to failing list one semester.
In those preteen years, I started seeing a ton of doctors for what my mom believed was physical distress but what I clearly felt was mental. I went on and off of tons of anxiety meds and antidepressants, but eventually tapered off when I went to college.
Though I flourished as much as was possible for me in college, I was still basically living a half-life. An obsessive amount of worrying went into all the possible ways of humiliating myself. I had very pathological plans to make it to "safe" bathrooms. I went through a huge amount of panic when the university suggested that they might require me to live on campus and share a room (I got out of it). I could not take the kinds of jobs my friends were working in retail and restaurants, only a campus job with very few hours and very little pay because it allowed me to dip out before the panic set in and reasonable access to a bathroom.
When I went to grad school, things got even worse. Insomnia set in. The only night I was guaranteed a full sleep was Friday because I had no obligations on Saturday. I wandered through life as a zombie, clumsy, foggy and with extremely heightened fight-or-flight due to the sleep deprivation. Sometimes I would call in sick because I could not operate my vehicle. In classes where all graded assignments were written, I got straight As. My only Bs came from classes with midterm and endterm final exams, because I was in such a panic being wedged in between two people in silence for three hours that I would not be able to devote my full attention to the exam.
I collapsed and had to return home, where I languished for a year or so. I returned to academia, where I clung on by the skin of my teeth for several years but it was the same exact story: caught between a deep loneliness and desire for belonging and a deeper fear of rejection and utter discomfort in social settings. The insomnia returned and I burned out.
I have been in therapy three times. Once for several months between stints in academia. Once during a grad program to help cope. And most recently for two years during my second languishing period.
I am horrified by how long I've struggled with "launching." I've been seeking help for this life-ruining social anxiety problem since I was a preteen. People have known I have had a deep fear of others since I was a child. It has been so terribly lonely and there have been low moments I've felt so hopeless about ever being to sustain a life in the ways that matter that I have called hotlines. This has probably been fewer than five, but it's been happening since I was eighteen or nineteen.
I feel like every resource I visit underestimates how pervasive this is in my life. If I am correct, the pervasiveness and enduring nature of something like this is precisely what makes it a personality disorder. This has been permanent for me, and even the most recent two years of therapy have not budged me much. Yet no authority has ever made an official diagnosis, not even for anxiety and depression.
It stresses me out, because I can see the severe consequences of this and I worry at times they're endangeirng my very life, but all authorities seem to be somewhat dismissive or act like what I'm going through is typical and something everyone deals with. I'm not insured, so if an emergency happens I'm probably broke for life. I was considering my situation today. I'm wearing glasses with one leg broken off because I can't afford to replace them. I haven't had my hair cut since Christmas because I live in a small town and don't want to answer personal questions from the barber. I have about one pair of jeans and a hoodie that fit. The last time I went to the dentist they said I had bone loss because I wasn't visiting enough. When I get sick I try to wait things out because I'm both terrified of being in public, answering employment questions to the receptionists and also because I can't afford it.
At what point does it stop being "shyness" or even social anxiety? When can we admit that this is something worth naming?
I came across this subreddit via the comments section of a post linking to an article about AvPD. The article discussed the disorder and how it was understudied. It profiled some people who'd been diagnosed with it, and I have never related to anything so much in my life, especially the paradox of wanting to belong but sabotaging all attempts to try. I cried when I read it and came here immediately.
Anyway, I'm sorry for the novel. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for letting me vent. I suspect many people on this sub might be people like myself who simply haven't had doctors, therapists or psychiatrists who recognize how extensive this pattern goes. I hope you all are able to find full care that treats all the many manifestations of this terrible thing we're struggling with.

Recently decided to upgrade from my ageing original Galaxy Watch 46mm for a few reasons. For one it's quite bulky and I often don't wear it as a result. I'm trying to cut down screen time and find myself stuck to my phone even when outside - texts, WhatsApps, notifications etc. so I'm looking to start leaving my phone at home more often - definitely looking to buy an LTE model for this reason and I have a pair of Galaxy Buds I can use with it for Spotify too.
I've read the threads on here comparing the GW6, GW6 classic and GW5 Pro but am still undecided. The GW5 Pro seems like the best choice all round, but also the heaviest due to the materials and battery size. Hopefully someone that's had the GW1 46mm and also the GW5 Pro can chime in and advise.
Does the GW6 actually have anything new & compelling over the GW5 Pro to make it worthwhile as a trade off or am I going mad?

I haven't really needed anything more formal in my decade'ish of onebagging than a shirt with a collar. But, for an upcoming trip - I'd like something at least blazer'ish.
But, ideally I'd like it flexible enough to wear in non-blazer times. AKA, a jacket that I could wear out to dinner with a dress shirt at a fancy restaurant, but maybe also not look out-of-place on an afternoon hike over a T-Shirt. Does such a thing exist?
Also, I tend to run hot, so lightweight would be ideal.
Options I've considered:

• In my everyday life, I have the Fjallraven Vardeg jacket, and love it, but it's way too bulky and heavy for one bagging. If "the Vardeg but lighter, less bulky and quick-drying" exists, that'd be great.
• Frequently recommended travel blazers like the Eddie Bauer are, I'm sure great, but look a little business'ey to me. Same for Uniquolo, Bluffworks, Bonobos and other more traditional travel blazers.
• Ministry of Supply Velocity Shirt Jacket - Concerned it might be a little short (I've got a long torso). The sale price is nice, but worried about ordering something on "final sale" I can't return from a brand whose sizing I'm not familiar with. Might try it out with a credit card with return protection anyway.
• Relwen Flyweight Flex Blazer - Really like the look of it - but not sure I can embrace the "wrinkle" look. Also, $300 seems like a lot for something made out of cotton.
• Faherty Reserve 4-Pocket Field Jacket - Like the cut, fabric and fit. 4 is a lot of pockets. 400 is a lot of dollars.
• Marine Layer Breeze Blazer - More on the "going to the office" side of things, but maybe also not?

Advice? What else should I be looking at?

Anblitonoimz has four or five tongues, four mouths & five or em.
Th's firstsnd mouth urinaes fortso does "Coffee of a lifetime" Hes sputters, slurping up a cup of that good mud. "Splots dreams in thirty of our microwaves".
Ambipzonnzi doesn't cipher. "Let 's get born & roll down the hill, We get born & roll down the hill" His fourth one shoots ,in south-east yardings
"yearlong coffee beans, coffee plant. papa nu guineaa. Honduras. Lofty without a saddle". a third mouth wisses out sorta westishly through heavy phlegm
He twists to explore "Learn to drive, learn to walk. Crawl from town to town Babe. Crawl on all four wheel & kKaww like a Bird" anbipozond's mouth smacks on
"No point in crying over spillt milk"
"You keep saying that!". his northeast mote swirls in southwestard recounts
Eeps
from elswhere "Every auction is just the loudest, Heather". else now mutters a funnel with propose. "houses are birds with fourty wheels on a similar day". Insteebchlo raises his hand with a smile eager to answer the daily question. he starts to wave as he catches the attensions.
Noesteeblichavl has houses for heads, he sstarts jittering. "Your eyes are windows, someone needs to clean your windows. Your house is a head. Clean your windows off annd surprise the neighbors dog!" ... "hello"
"you're not driving to my off-grid parasite with that attitude". Ampliurpoznenzi shuffles his gums ,Crawling down the asphalt road on his hands & knees proudly. He might think he is an entrepreneur for a while or aprehend himselgf as an connoisseur forwhile.
"oh drink gasoline lika subaru" oensteeblih tweeks
"I've an appotite to put my teeth to the curb!" Ambeplerznz snaps & gnashes at houses
his foldy gob norths "One step at a time! Learn to crawl, Learn to walk, Buy some land babe, heyhow does much a hotel cost hahh".
"CAWWW" Apmliurpozoenzi's mouth makes a bird noise. having a bite yer own ear off & spit it at the coroner day.
"I think you will drink gasoline like my aunties subaru" houses heads repeats.
"Bvrruuuummmm" Ampliurpoznenzi's mouth does the car noise now. He's going somewhere, past the speed limit ,another four kilometers & he is gonna need his diaper change. Better get his wallet ready.
"You slurp gasoline, like ants in a subaru" Noesteeblo 'peats. Amblurdozinnzi pops into more civilized bucket. the house curls into a smile now. "look at youu!, you've become such a confident driver now!".
"C'mon, don't be so hard on yourself" Abemlurdozonz mremarks vaclantly. "So I could wear your face? Is it losing it's grisps on reality in here or me?"
Nostlible smeoes to him "Bro you okay?"
.....
"Ye get born into like machine & fall through like pachinko scottlander" . "Offered five things strange for new emergant traditions"
"Third tape recorder to the rotting egg translates the scripture, we're all just pachinko machines rolling down a hill arn't we?"
sorta just sautering around, peaking in through all the windows in the neighborhood, he's a freak tapping on the glass. Abmlorznonza is trying to climb into the garbage disposal, he wants to become ground beef or he wants to arrive to a wedding.
"Hey Do ies Yoeur Reaelity Okaey?". he mutters himself
Abamorbzonenz's large nose covers the porch in snot. He is smashed in through the windows. everything covered in snot. Dissassembles Th' Constructiom. "everything is covered in snot!!" He complains! "I SAID SEASAW. I SAID". Seasaw
...
"Highly Functional we are. Violences with the earthly gravitations ,Maneuvers to gnaw your tongue away at the glory hole ssir". Houses for heads whispers easy to his parole officer
.....
Ablimurzozna is inside the building, meeting all the wacky charicatures, really looking for something to snack on
"snooze on the cheesblock wiyhth a thousant feet of square areah". Zimberly's gonna need to fester up if she's gonna make it out of here alive.
-"come into my villa? withyer 6,000 foot long arms? I'll teach you the mannerisms" she stand combative with a toaster under her arm, holding the plug in her other hand.
The kitchen fatefuly occupied, Ablimzundz rushes square around & through down hallway, he drips the sweat "round nor square corners, I'm deduction points" his bin echoes offa chair in the passing.
... "I'm not just a petting zoo, I'm also a boarding school for chiropractory on the week-ends". Chochizialule snides from a toilet room "I pay money here"
Ambliuoznenzai screams, he begins to shrivel up & become hairy. "lettuce beef union, where did you go? lettuce beef onion. ".
"Let Us ..decode your one dimensoinal braine". presences Noestivbyuchevlo
another charicature interrups "I PLACED THE EYE INSIDE OF TJE HEAD & THE HEAD ON TOP OF THE BODY". Martin chimes over the loudspeaker. feeling like an eyeball inside of the tube today. just like all other days. an irreversible sense of time "I think I'll industrial my furnishments enjoy & pass out" He obviously has the plans.
"Do Not Touch Me". the subaru won't calm down.
"ellen my knuckle jelly is swearing. Juxtapose penguin my knuckle. Whatever fucking. My justice system swears at me."
Garvezetozald nouts at he,
"I can't relax. I'm on chameleon because my eyes move on their own. Indipendently from one anobther. " Amprulpozanzi won't shut up or he wouldn't
Nestavloblica tries to comprehend or understand "Autism is also a bell of god? Hey! Slow Down! Howhy are you aging so rapidly , in this metal bucket over here?"
Ampeliuropoznnz's wheels berate" DONN'T TOUCH MEE. I SAAID DONN'T TOUCHH MEE". He revs it!
"Hold it! Give your skin prison!" Windows for eyes shudders urgently. "Take me to your northern hemisphere! okay? okay?!"
Theres multiples of them
"No you No youKnow what You know you could Use?" they all say in unison
"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Ambluboznecviblo screams in whemchever direction heis headed ?
windows for nostrils speaks out loud "wel A well balanced curriculum would be dandy for starters".
Garvezetozald escorts ambinzopnonzor back to the pave "aluminum foil, very shiny in your bank deposit you know, But don't listen to me. Why would I fucking say anything ". He grumbles the offput as retreating it back inside.
ambilurbonznenance isnot having it. He's murking off in the anger pavement shoes. "Don't change the subject, I know you're hiding things from me".
Ambilerbeentsli "shiny aluminum foil heaps in my bank deposit". out of a different mouth or head after that whatever it said
.............................
intrusion layering dish. splattered withe batter. "Undetermined. loosely your own imagines, or yourself into they inretrospective periphany? who are you defying here? I did I hear (that right)?"
"I said build your little hhouse outthere, and& record yourf fairy shit, I stabbed you really hard with the fork" sends the not know says "yeah buddy, nascar teeth better be stoppin in to be stoppin tobe takina pittstop stop inn" Heaps he "STOP IT ,STOPP STIP. STOP IN THEs PIT FOR A STOP NOWW"
"are you been taking all oyour supplements skin-jaw pirate attorney?". eyuunNoesteblijhavwl Creoaks to the fiend
Pramblestabhon starts talk about lands all sorts and Louis Vuitton" We drop him off atthe nearest station
Scubs scenfen fenhinit. The cold touch of a stranger.
"Shd diedent mean to sdo that withe her subaru" "make the fuzzy worls ceawl owt but were notbhgoana takklk to you. Beat toyojar head with thea hmmm
The dufuzzys crawl out of the brain spot "COFFEEE AND TORTILLA CHIPS" Ambliubyonzunzi blares. He is crying the tears. "COFFEEE AND TORTILLA CHIPS" A second mouth of he shouts as well joins in.
"eyebrows, eyebrows jaws & toes, heavy finger-slips. uprightnowyou. Our gene pool is speaking~ (????) & having remained focused on the road this whole time"
...
"ofcourse We want gimberly to fall asleep at the wheel, make it look like it was an accident" Ampliunornzi agrees with himself "We want this we want that we want nothing more for ourselves" He's done & settled but restless & jiving. He keeps on driving, he worrys somedaybody will cut his brakes for him.
"No I think You betetetetter get onto bed on time " Noestelevblilpo bleyowabs abashed "sleep onfor more decades?, crawl on this earth, listen to the musics of the centuries?" nietstravlo attemptates their reconciel
Ampliupzinzunzi agleams unto the sedatiea. relloxed . enloungicated Dormitoitory. Parked something or other an a benchpt he rwests "If we don't chop uff all of the limbs then don'T throW uP on TimE." it complains. something seperate &.. he produces a small thermos from his (cupholder)
Ambliornuunzi Takes another sip of this coffee. He rolls the liquid around his tongue & swishes it in his mouth before hes swellow. "Brazil, Ecuador" He feels the longitude, He feeles the latitude, the coordinates of the bean. "South america, central america, yeah, You can taste it". The bitter wash is guzzled before it's swallowe. Amiburzobowenzanzha Licks it's teeth and gums. Functional piss distillery. With gusto he announce "Brazil, we need go to Brrazziill eyah". starts he runningh & He trips & smashes one of his mouths into the curb, If had he a tongue from there off bitten would it have been but lucky him, only smashing his teeth to scream & writhe.

I'm struggling to figure out what to wear when going on more aggressive casual rides. My bike has flat pedals, which tells you my riding level. I'm not entirely for riding in jeans other than doing the rare commute. Yet I haven't yet fully wrapped my mind around getting tights and bibs. Does anyone have any suggestions/recommendations on what to wear for semi-casual rides?

• Spawn system is unbearable after extended play time. Half of the game is just deathmatch fighting at spawn in which kind of defeats the purpose of an open world style game. Please add many other spawn points with a wider range on the sides of maps or make a dynamic spawn system that detects other player proximity and moves your spawn based on range so there is at least a buffer of room to get away. I know this is hard to do on farm based on the map size but currently this spawn system is going to turn off a lot of players since the game is built around hardcore loss of gear.
• Initial recoil bounce of guns should be removed/reworked. This was already hated in tarkov for years and makes semi auto guns really unviable compared to full auto. Please change this to be a more consistent curve of recoil instead of just a barrel bounce. Think Valorant (EDIT) but more realistic based on attachments, etc.
• Jumping and shooting with full accuracy (super manning corners) needs to be nerfed. This is especially bad with scavs who have zero reason to lose anything and can still melt your legs/face with stock guns. I do enjoy the more arcadey movement but please don't make this into a call of duty 360 noscope type of game. If your feet are off of the ground your gun recoil should be double in my opinion. Easy fix.
• Full auto spread needs increased (lazer hipfire is bad FPS design). Currently full auto guns are way too strong in terms of being able to just hipfire horizontally and not really aim the gun. I do not want the goofy solutions that tarkov did like durability and jamming to make full auto not so dominant. Just make the recoil realistic in terms of the first few shots are accurate where aiming and then if you continue full auto the cone spreads. This is a known design that works in just about every single FPS game. Keep the realistic ballistics of course but also make the recoil patterns realistic as well. If you want an FPS shooter that is skill based than the player should be controlling the recoil not some arbitrary system. The current design just promotes cheesing as players will shoot the first 2-3 shots prefire into the corner of a wall knowing by the time they strafe out the recoil is "fixed" and they laser. It is just bad design overall for a game that wants tactical realism.
• Scav detection radius is absurd. I am not sure if it changes based on your player level but after hitting level 30 scavs see me from EVERYWHERE. I am talking like a 150m radius if I am anywhere near them I am spotted. They very often comm and rush at me from behind cover or non line of sight where they really should have no idea of my exact location other than general footsteps. Sniper scavs on valley are just as bad and I have been hit through trees at like 300m out just randomly moving through cover. Either please reduce the detection radius or make thier shots a bit less accurate. Sniper scav will basically kill you by shot 3 if you do not have hard cover or some serious armor. I have even multiple times (im taking like every other raid) will see a scav in the distance just straight rushing at my location when I have not fired a shot or given any target inidcator and I will just watch them path right up to me like a magnet. Its both immersion breaking and annoying as hell.
• Scav tanking expensive ammo. This one drives me insane. If you want to make scavs be stronger by increasing health pools than please make some kind of visual change to thier clothing to look armored, especially the face. They dont actually have to have lootable gear obviously to keep the loot balance but there is nothing more immersion breaking or frustrating than shooting a scav with a baseball cap in the face and they just flinch and run off. This is one of the worst design aspects of tarkov and how BSG uses hp pools to balance the boss/AI and it kills me to see it copied in ABI. Please ask the art team to do some kind of pass even making the scavs have ghetto looking armor like something out of the game Rust to keep with the lore feel.
• Higher tier 6-7 7.62x54R does same TTK hits as lvl 5 making the cost pointless in many hours of sniping with a mosin. So basically T5 ammo costs roughly $1k. It on average will two shot body a naked and three shot a geared player with L4+ armor. Headshots are one hit kill. T6 and T7 mosin ammo again from my extensive tesing does the exact same damage counts in terms of hits. So you are paying an extra $1k per round to get the same bullet DPS. Of course yes these rounds will shine vs level6+ armor players but I do not think any ammo worth $1k+ per round should take more than two body shots for L4 armor players. There are a few exceptions to this but I have used mosin on Valley for multiple 10+ hour sessions and something is weird with the 7.62x54R T6 and T7 ammo class.
• Shoulder swap for weapons to left peek. This is an easy addition and honestly should be in any tactical FPS game that requires CQB fighting. Please add this for a huge quality of life.
• Option in player list that can be enabled so whatever team mate gets the killing blow can only loot that body who they killed locking out the rest of the team. This would greatly help with players not wanting to join random squads and get thier stuff taken after putting in the hard work of securing the kill. Not a perfect solution but would greatly help stopping thieves. Yes would players try to "last hit" to steal your loot? Sure. Would this system work 10x better than currently just watching a teammate rat your gear? Absolutely. Again make this a selecable option in the lobby so party leaders can choose and everyone wins. You don't want that option just don't enable it.
• Allow ANY keyboard key to be rebound. Many of us use custom key binds that are shared across multiple game titles and having to "relearn" the keys for this game because certain keys like ALT can not be bound to crouch for example makes the player controller feel really bad. A normal person is not going to just unlearn 15+ years of gaming keyboard binds and so every time there is a panicked firefight I naturally revert to the expected keys and it gets me killed. Super annoying and again very basic fix to allow those keys to be rebound.

My main concern right now is that these types of changes I have listed have taken tarkov YEARS to update. So what I do not want to happen is players having to camp the ABI patch notes for another 2-3 years just to get back those quality of life changes missing in this game that tarkov now has resolved. I do expect ABI to be much more efficient with the patch releases but none the less for someone who has played tarkov for many years some of these changes feel like "starting over with an old version" waiting for the same fixes that already exist in tarkov. They copied a lot of the bad design aspects of tarkov along with the good in my opinion.
At the end of the day this game is fantastic and really blends the casual and tactical mix to hit a wide audience. If you do not currently have beta access please do understand watching the game really does not do it justice. You have to play it to feel all of the small quality of life changes that make this title rival tarkov. I personally could care less if the game is copied or not. They did it better and BSG had 6 years to get thier act together. Someone like myself has been praying for this exact mix of extraction for a long time now. As long as the monetization does not impede the hardcore looting aspect AKA buying gear than I think this game will be just fine for the long run. Good luck out there!

Where I live the heat and humidity can be brutal, and this year spring is already cooking. So how chuffed was I when Outlier sent me a ramielust tank to test. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been wearing it into the ground. I wanted to really test it, so I leaned into it a bit more than I generally would. At this point it’s seen eight full days of wear (and a cpl partial), has been washed five times, slept in, worked out in, dressed up (a bit), tugged on by a small child and a small-legged dog, and is still in one piece. I know this form, in this fabric, has been highly anticipated by many (myself included) - so here’s what I’ve got:

• Quick Stats:
  • I’m 5’10” (or so) and I’ve generally considered my “true size” to be L for Outlier, but have been sizing up lately and enjoying it. I took an XL for a loosebreezier fit in Lilac Mist. I likely will stick with XL however I think I could definitely wear L and fit would still be solid.
• Fabric
  • Ramie is a natural fiber, it’s old and it’s bast, if you’ve never encountered it before here’s a better description than I’m going to write: https://outlier.nyc/products/ramielustIn-hand
  • In-hand, this batch of ramielust is weighty and smooth, with a dull shine that almost makes it look slightly metallic (ramie-lustrous). The feel of it is like cooled silk. It can be counterintuitive to pull on a heavier (200gsm) fabric to head out into the heat, but in practice the fiber is always pulling heat away from you, while the openness of the fabric welcomes any breeze right through. Along with the weight comes drape that isn’t typical of lighter and stiffer summer fabrics – in motion the sway of the fabric is elegant and special, especially with the cut of the garment (more on that later). The shine of the fabric does become milder following the first wash, but I didn’t notice any significant change after the second or third wash, it’s still got a light gleam to it.
  • To be honest, I’ve been looking forward to this fabric, but I didn’t expect it to feel this nice having only ever tried the very first run of ramielust some time ago – I didn’t intend to wear it four days in a row. But I kept reaching for it in part just because I wanted to feel the fabric again.
• Fit + Form
  • The only Outlier tank I’ve tried prior to this was the Push/Pull Tank. Compared to that cut (in the same size), the Ramielust Tank is a much looser format. The neckline falls lower, and the chest/body is cut wider – it’s a much easier, more leisurely feel, and the ramielust weight makes the additional fabric really drip down and around you in the most lovely way.
  • The cut is open and refined. As with the push/pull tank, the straps are nice and broad, which matches nicely the width of the ramielust tank in the body; it’s substantial, loose, and breezy. When I first tried the tank on pre-wash I immediately thought it was too long, bunching around my hips, but after the first wash/dry the length felt perfect; not cropped, but flowing freely around my midsection when I moved. The fabric sort of leans against you a bit, instead of giving you a full on hug. Not prone to static, just luxurious wavy folds. I really hope this cut shows up more in the future.
• Items of Interest
  • Color + Transparency
    • The fabric is a bit transparent, but not too much - I have a lot of contrast between my skintone and tattoos, and I wasn’t able to easily see my tattoos through the fabric unless the light was pretty direct, and then only where the fabric was flat and close to my skin. The color is crazy, similar to the other lilacs Outlier has done, but with the added touch of the slightly metallic shine of the fabric. If you’re at all inclined toward this color (in tank or other format), you should go for it.
  • Shrinkage Etc.
    • I washed on delicate and dried on medium heat (despite the care instructions pleading to dry on low heat) for all five wash/dry passes. On first wash there was ~2” of shrinkage in length, and probably 0.5”-1” of shrinkage to width. The width, I think, released out a bit with wear but the cut is roomy enough that it wasn’t especially noticeable either way. The length also stretches back out a touch, mb 0.5" or so, I think it was calibrated with shrinkage in mind, as again for me the fit was better after losing length. The fabric always tightens up a touch after dry and then relaxes out quickly with wear, which has been true of prior ramielust runs. In comparison to the push/pull tank: I measured 24” across the ramielust tank after first wash/dry, and measured 20” across the push/pull tank which has taken the same wash/dry treatment. Length is similar btwn the two, with ramielust tank being about 1” shorter after wash.
  • Hand Feel vs. Prior Runs
    • The only other ramielust I’ve had was from the very first run, and I found it effective at dealing with heat but generally rough and a bit unfortunate in terms of texture. This ramielust is very different. I think it was described as “buttery” on live and that’s apt af. If you tried ramielust before and found it rough, you may be pleasantly surprised by how soft and welcoming this run is.
  • Twist
    • I mean, it exists. It’s not bad, but if you look for it, yea it’s there. If you’ve had ramielust before, it’s pretty much the same thing, either a dealbreaker for you or not. Twist has bothered me in the past but with the looseness and flow of this cut, you really have to be looking for it to notice it.
  • Durability
    • Not really a selling point for this fabric, but I was pleasantly surprised by how little battle damage I could find after multiple days of non-delicate wear. I found the fabric stretched out across the day a bit but with a wash/dry snapped back to regular form. I did find one small snag on the fabric, not sure where it came from (dogs).
  • Pet Hair
    • The secret metric for all Outlier fabrics: To what extent does it hold onto pet hair (or lint or whatever) - pleased to report that pet hair comes off of this fabric with little (relative) effort. Take the shirt off, give it a proper shake and a whip, and most of the fur will fall away.
  • Random Thoughts/Scenarios
    • Wearing under injex overshirts, I noticed that my skin was cooler where it was touching ramie vs. where it was touching injex
    • Wearing directly under a rain shell, same thing, felt much cooler where ramielust was touching me vs. the goretex-ish material (no surprise there)
    • Wearing as part of a semi-formal outfit works, I think, because of the very apparent quality of the fabric - both color and luster help give it an “elevated” look that can be pretty well dressed up, and Lilac Mist is nice against black.
    • Works pretty well as a workout shirt (especially in a small, hot garage with no airflow), handles sweat great, is still soft against the skin even with moisture in the mix; I did drag it against knurling a few times and didn’t find any abrasion damage. Not a replacement for a dedicated exercise shirt and isn’t meant to be, but in a hot and humid environment it’ll do the trick.
    • I did have a tiny hand, at one point, tug abruptly on a handful of the fabric, which caused an area to stretch out and bag slightly; a wash and dry snapped it back to normal
• My Feelings
  • In the end, my feelings are that this form is the highest and best use for the ramielust fabric (yet). This tank makes me feel protected and unrestricted out in the heat. It keeps me comfortable, it’s easy. I have to look for reasons not to wear it, and I’m running out of them.
• Pictures (Link to Gallery)
  • https://imgur.com/gallery/ramielust-tank-pk02Sv5