i was at school and they had pulled me out of class and searched me and found a 2 Gram THC Disposable and markers used for graffiti or “ tagging “. I am wondering if the court will mandate a drug test, I am a 16 year old. I have been sober for around 2 weeks now and my court date is on the 30th so I should be clean by then but I just need some reassurance. The police officers at school had told me that the tags match the color of the markers I had and one of the tags were in my folder but I had told them a mutual friend had did it the previous year of school A friend from school had send 2 photos of the tags they accused me of and I am trying to use that as proof that it was not me. But mostly I am wondering if I will get drug tested by the court for THC, thank you 🙏

I have done so much research and so many tests that confirmed I’m not an average thinker including the aspy and several others. I’ve related to so many autistic people and their stories on TikTok and on tv and in person. I finally realized this and really started to question it. I felt sad that I had probably been misunderstood my whole life and not had the resources at my hands that I needed. Well I was but not in the same way. I’ve related on my overstimulation, masking, social awkwardness, adhd and more… thankful my doc asked me some questions to be sure but said hey you are way too expressive and not picky to have Asperger’s. I didn’t realize how similar adhd is. While I knew several people have both and they go hand in hand, I didn’t realize how easily hey could be mistaken for one another or not caught at all if high functioning or good at masking. What I have never heard is that Masking or being sensitive to noise (auditory processing disorder was diagnosed to me early as a kid)are adhd traits. I tried quitting my meds but I feel more normal on them and no side effects. I’m back on them now. Glad my doc is smart. Though I still have a lot to learn and unpack as I know I was this way my whole life and wonder how much easier it would have been if I knew I had it. Ah well if is what it is and my parents did the best they knew how to I guess.

It’s been hard. When I tell guys, it’s like a new rage forms in them. One guy punched me when I told him but I don’t blame him. Maybe it’s Colorado guys💀. The guy who gave it to me recently showed me messages of everyone he tells and they want him and don’t care. I wasn’t even told, i guess I wasn’t deserved that respect. Back story about me, I used to get tested monthly due to my fear of STI and a class freshmen year of college that scared me. I understand that the screenshots he sent were supposed to make me feel less lonely and fuckable but I know I’m fuckable. I do hot yoga, Pilates, lifting and hiking. he tried making me feel better but I’m so lonely. Guys treat me so differently after I tell them. Like I should be lucky they gave me a chance and now I’m just a damaged good that deserves no respect. I’m lucky I live in colorado now. I can slip on a hike and it’s an accident. 2 years and I can’t handle the words. The pain either. I work in a high stress environment so the outbreaks hurt I can’t even sit or walk comfortably sometimes . How does one just drop it casually? The chatting and dates until I know what’s coming. I want these guys to get to know me but I tell them and they’re “ok” with it then later that night im blocked. What hurts more is knowing he’s having the time of his life and I can’t even get a date to my friends wedding cause I wanna be honest and open with a guy. I haven’t had sex since I asked him to have sex with me when I visited back home in January of this year. It’s pathetic but I missed a normal dick and not a dildo haha He’s been the only person I’ve done anything sexually with in the past two years…. He’s having the time of his life while I’m being called names and threatened that “if I get anything I have a gun” by a a guy. I can’t wait to hike after this wedding and just find a cute place to camp and sleep and forget. I wish god made me as strong as him but the universe didn’t make me as strong mentally . I’m jealous of that. End of my rant 🫶🏽

[OC Intro: The game is modded to increase basic jobs cost, seasonal events are disabled. Much of the crash details are based on NASA/SP-2008-565 Columbia Crew Survival Investigation Report recommendations especially Chapter 3 "Occupant Protection".]
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries. He has only a few minutes of APU power left, goes over the best clearing he can find, and radars it. It varies by only a few feet from the aerodynamic glideslope there. He spots it out on the cameras and circles to go after that spot. He's only at two hundred feet now. With one hand on the stick, he uses the other to open the pressure equalization valve on the side hatch, then at one hundred feet, gets it undogged. Depending on how much damage he's going to get, it's less likely to be stuck closed and trap him. The dynamic vacuum this pulls in the cockpit rips most of the survival pack data cards from that rack and scatters them across the landscape. Crap, I'm gonna need those! Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, he turns on the radar for the final approach, takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and PFD, he clicks his HANS and shoulder strap locks in; after that, he can barely move, but that now is better than dying in this crash with a broken neck. He's a decent pilot and brings up the flare gently. Bringing up the alpha on this delta-winged ship, he balloons a little, but keeps the nose going up and restores a zero aerodynamic sink rate just above the highest terrain indicated by the radar altimeter. The ship bumps a little in the ground effect, and he can see the radar altitude cycling irregularly up and down about five feet at a time. Rougher than it looked from higher up! The body flap protecting the dead engines hits first, and the nose comes rapidly down. It hits, the screens go blank, and Tightniks is surrounded by airbags, some lifting his feet from the rudder petals and his hand from the control stick. It's blinding, it's disorienting, it's noisy, and, to his relief, it's long! It takes several seconds before the crashing cockpit stops moving. How many times did he flip over? Did he go sideways and roll? Am I rightside up? Are we really stopped on the ground? The airbags deflate, and he can move his arms. He gets his restraints loose and inspects himself. "Uck!" he says out loud (without the 'f'). No broken bones. His pressure suit can take his blood pressure. 116/81, pulse 112, blood oxygen 99 reads off on his left arm, I'll friggin' take it!
The ship is amazingly intact from what he can tell. He can't get any readings. The systems test meter seems to be working, but can't find any voltages anywhere. The ship seems to be completely dead. Behind him, 10 passenger seats are all surrounded by airbags and the back of the cabin ends in some sort of dirt-and-gravel and there's a bit of daylight seeping in around the edges. He was the only one on board, though, so their deployment was mostly academic (they might have stiffened the structure a little during the crash, but that's probably trivial.) Tightniks gets out of his spacesuit. The air on this planet is actually breathable. He gets the hatch open, steps outside and-
"A green shimmer erupts then disappears, and you hit the ground."
The human emerges from the glowing green mist and hits the ground. Groans. Pushes against that ground, trying to get back up. Where am I? What's my name? I remember nothing. Aren't babies born naked? He's got a dark blue button-down shirt on. A uniform? A shoulder patch. Gets up, looks around. I feel really heavy. I'm not that fat, am I? He picks up a small stone from the ground, this also feels heavier than it should. He rises to his feet and holds it out somewhat (he's unable to fully extend his arm) and lets it go. The stone hits the ground near his feet quickly and with remarkable speed. It's the gravity, it's greater than it is on- ...where am I from? This is- ...not my home planet? "Oooh..."
"Ka?" it says.
What is that? It's cute, at least.
It is not tame. He has no hope of catching it on foot. The creature seems to like the berries. Maybe if I gather some of those into one place and set some kind of trap...
33s: First trap.
I got one! The human lumbers up to the trap and gets the catch open. Do you bite? It doesn't matter much to me; I'm so friggin' screwed.
It doesn't. It looks at the human with a sense of wonder, actually. A blink and tilt of the head. Seems almost to be asking, Is it you? My purpose? My savior? Once out of the trap, which is totally wrecked, he has to make a new one from scratch, it follows him around like a imprinted hatchling bird.
Wiry little fella, you are. You're going to need some bulking up to do anything useful. The- ...'trimp', I guess... The trimp seems just barely able to feed itself. The human lets him into the broken ship's intact cabin, and it curls up comfortably in a passenger seat for a nap.
1m03s: Second trap.
"Apparently the Trimps breed if they're not working. Doesn't look pleasant."
What are they doing?
The trimps appear to be androgynous, and these two have paired off in the back of the ship. They're holding something carefully within a few hours, feeding it berries, grass, and- ...corundum.
Corundum?? Whatever that is, it isn't a baby.
1m35s: Third trap.
Only it IS a baby! The third trimp he trapped immediately joined the other two in raising it. They have a strange diet of food the human has found compatible with his own body, but they also eat rocks! They're careful to crush and sort aluminate minerals from silcate ones and only eat aluminate. Actually, they don't eat aluminate, they're only feeding it to the baby.
2m06s: Fourth trap.
All four are raising the same child, who is just starting to toddle. It seems these fellas have alumina or maybe even aluminum bones. The human takes a nap and wakes to find the first child grown up and they're starting to raise a second child, all five of them.
2m46s: Huts.
The human found a working bit of electronics. He calls it a pad, but maybe it's more like a smartphone. It has plans for two residential structures. The first, the smaller one, he can build right away, but the second one needs something called "drywall", and he has to figure out how to make that before he can build it. Huts and houses, apparently.
3m13s: 10 pop, full, first farmer.
The trimp he trained to farm and make paper took an incredible 50 units of food to get bulked up to do the work, and now it's not participating in rearing the child. But less than an hour after the trimp started farming and pulping, the child was out on its own, and the trimps did not start another. The ten seats on the ship were all full. Well, eleven counting the one up front that the human sleeps in. The pilot starts exploring the area.
3m28s: Battle.
Wait, what are you do-
The hostile roars and charges at the human, but one of his trimps jumps in front of him with a stick and they fight. It started right when the human got far enough away from the ship that the hostile non-trimps away from the ship began to regard him as leaving his own territory. After the trimp defeats the first enemy, it continues after other hostiles.
3m53s: Shield I in Z1c5.
The human is easily able to recover the loot in the territory cleared by the fighting trimp. Then he sees something glinting in the- That can't be! What the heck is that? It's a data card that fits his pad. It quite clearly regards trimp combat. He gets it loaded into his pad and studies it. I can do this, it just takes some wood. He returns to the ship to discover that they had already started on a new child before the fighter had even expired in battle. The human concentrates on his research.
4m38s: Mskel in Z1c11 defeated.
The remains of this one seem rather white and shiny. It's titanium! This enemy had titanium bones! He'll store them away. They'll be useful someday, I'm sure.
5m52s: Dagger I in Z1c20.
Where are these data cards coming from? The human wonders as he loads this one into his pad, It's for a weapon it calls a dagger. He blinks. I don't know what a dagger is. I'll take your word for it, data card. Needs metal. He has gathered some, but ore is plentiful. He can just dig and smelt it whenever he wants. For now, I'll continue researching.
6m18s: Arable in Z1c21.
It's an old cave that trimps like to live in. Why weren't they able to live there before? How could these friendly critters be confined to only the exact spot where THAT thing, he looks back where he came from, not remembering that he piloted the wrecked ship to its current resting place, crashed? This is really strange. I'll let them fill up this cave before advancing further. Wait, what about defenses? The hostiles never try to reclaim territory that they've lost, so he stops worrying about that fairly quickly.
8m22s: First hut is 0.3% first ever AP.
The trimps seem fairly easy to please in terms of living quarters. Two move into his first hut and start raising a child. The human has his tent, uniform, and the heater pilfered from his space suit. Not much of a mud fan.
9m59s: Miners in Z1c30.
Oh, what's on this data card? Sl3niw? Oh, I'm holding the pad upside down. Miners. I can teach trimps how to mine ores and smelt met- 200 units of food? Each job is getting more expensive to train a trimp for. He puts his bee nickels to his eyes and spots another data card probably 10 enemies away. "Sc"? Does that means science? I can teach trimps to do science??
13m57s: Scientists in Z1c40.
Due to the expense of training trimps, the human couldn't afford to build them shields until now, he's got Sh1-3 made for the fighter to capture the science training data card. 14m02s: One head went into that turtlimp shell, that of his fighter, but two came out: his fighter still has his head on, and he managed to get the turtlimp's head off. It rushes off after the deadly penguimp in the next cell. The shields are not doing all that much good, actually, but they're better than nothing. The human picks up and loads the science data card and- Holy runny sugar-free fudge crap! 1000 food units, but it'll endow them with the ability to speak. Good. I'm getting bored with no one to talk to.
14m28s: Bloodlust purchased and AutoFight enabled (that delay after getting it is an effect of jacking up the job cost.)
As the human buries this expired little trimp warrior, he comes to the sobering realization that he has more trimp graves in his growing trimp colony than he does live trimps. And yet they seem more hopeful now than before I got to know any of them. They seem to think I'm the solution to all their problems or- Those two look east somberly, then notice that he's watching them and smile back and wave at him. ...one problem that is specific, but very, very huge for them. [The only reason I say 'east' is because that's right on a map, and the game advances right across a row, then up. I might say 'northeast' on occasion for that reason.]
20m47s: Z1c73, Miners taken.
Are you my new mining foreman? The trimp who took to the mining training has dark brown fur that lays flat on its head. It's unusual in not having any bits that stick out from its head, ahoge or whatever. This one is relatively quiet, and while it has assimilated the mining and smelting knowledge, it needs to bulk up to do any mining. Smelting is relatively easy, and getting a strong natural draft going in a furnace is almost trivial with the increased gravity. This trimp builds furnaces like nothing. And likes to nap in holes it digs right on the spot; it's weird that way. [Puchim@s Yukipo, and furnaces are not explicit in Trimps.]
21m58s: Farming in Z1c80.
The resourcing "books" are not data cards but paper scrolls, apparently lost to the trimps. It seems that they were civilized in the recent past and some calamity swept over the planet to reduce them to this. Did I have something to do with it? Amnesia sucks harder than a Dyson- ...what's a Dyson? Whatever, it sucks. This disaster happening just before I crash in the only spot with trimps still alive would be a seriously crazy coincidence! Something is really, really wrong about all this. [The author has not sought or received product placement permission or fee from Dyson Technology Ltd. or any resellers of their stuff, just they literally suck balls and made my favorite vacuum cleaner.]
23m50s: Builder in Z1c90.
They've rescued an, I dunno, gelding trimp? It just started to build a shed around the piled lumber I left to build one. It's really slow compared to me, and just banged its thumb, but it is super cute with that long reddish head fur. That particular trimp is also fascinated with pink ribbons and likes to decorate its head fur with them. Because of its inherent inability to participate in rearing children, it isn't counted in the population. [Puchim@s Io, builder on the basis of Iori seen building in 1x10.]
26m02s: Zone 2, 44 pop, 5.5s RC with Z0/1.
It's some sort of tactical manual - tactical coordination. Coordination! He's starting to sort out some trimpese on the research he has done so far. It needs a lot of metal, so they won't be able to implement it for some time. Hopefully, they're still good one at a time, but these enemies seem to be getting bigger as we go along. Uh oh!
27m33s: Gym in Z2c5.
It's some sort of training dojo or sporting arena. The human examines the ruins, I think I can back-engineer drawings for this, get one built, and see what happens.
29m02s: 1g, 47 pop, 10.8s RC with Z1/2.
The two fighting trimps now with their gym and coordination are dodging and blocking enthusiastically, and making much faster ground against the bad guys then a little while ago when it was just one trimp fighting at a time and unable to avoid the enemy hitting back.
40m46s: Fresh turkimp in Z2c74, 63 pop, 7.9s RC, Sh1-10, Da1-5, Bo1-3, Ma1-3, Hm1-3, 6g.
Oh, wow, the laborers seem really hot after this turkimp. He cooks it up and tries a slice. It's really awesome! I have to work alongside his laboring trimps to share it, but I'm getting used to the gravity now. That scroll we found back in Z2c10 really helped. Trimps' techniques and appliances for handicapped individuals, and I'm really handicapped in this higher gravity. He joins the woodcutters with the turkimp; they're the most numerous resource laborer right now, building more gyms, enough that the block/dodge ability of the fighting trimps is almost caught up to the enemy's ability to cause damage.
43m15s: Zone 3, 63 pop, 7.9s RC with Z1/2.
I'm neglecting my science and trimp scientists are really expensive. Curiously, that grey-haired one can't speak all that well, only says "Tai" and "Shijou", but it can write and draw like nobody's business. It's the only scientist so far. [Puchim@s Takanya: Online references probably still claim that she can utter the first two syllables of any word, but she can actually utter only the first two kana syllables of someone's name, most often the given name of basis human Takane Shijou, who also has that habit. (All the utterances of the puchidoru are based on the speech foibles of their basis humans except maybe Piyopiyo, where I haven't seen anything match up so far.)]
47m32s: Finally, we can make drywall and houses. 59m30s: Z3c77, 94 pop, 7.8s RC.
Oh, those poor things are really struggling up at the front. These trimps are enthusiastic and know no fear, but I still feel like telling them to stop for a while. I don't have the heart to keep them from trying while they're still doing some damage.
1h05m24s: Zone 4, 107 pop, 9.3s RC with Z3/4. 1h15m26s: Zone 5, 120 pop, 8.2s RC with Z3/4.
"What is that?" the human asks. He has three scientists. His first does all the writing, but the other two can actually speak. One of them hops up on a rock spire beside the human to reach his eye level.
At the next ridge line, over the lowest and most passable gap in the terrain, this really mean looking hovering sausage monster.
"I dunno," the scientist trimp shrugs, "But it's making me hungry. Looks like a perfectly cooked frankfurter from here." [John Morell's dubious dirigibles.]
"Oh, yeah," the human nods, "that's a blimp."
"A blimp?" the trimp tilts its head quizzically at the human, "How could you know?"
"I wish I could tell you, little buddy," the human extends his arm braces to descend the pass on the side of the zone boundary in the boss enemy's direction, then grunts, "Let's go kill it."
1h16m11s: Z1c9, 120 pop, 10.3s RC with Z4/5. 1h33m34s: Zone 6, 151 pop, 7.4s RC with Z4/5.
1h33m54s: TP in Z1c3.
"What's this?" the human asks, having picked up the little square document with the curling corners.
"Oh," the hungry scientist looks at it, "It's a garden path, follow me."
"You want to lead me down the garden path?" the human says.
"Yeah," the scientist says.
"Are you kidding?" the human asks.
"No," says the other scientist, "We don't get human humor. Listen, these fighters can't go, let them wear themselves out here, then we'll take the next group through this garden."
"Okay," the human nods, watching two more trimps join the fray as he issues the Z5 coordination orders, "they're doing pretty well after all that block training research we just wrapped up." [That's a common artifact, even in normal games, Z5 Traintacular combines with many gyms, enough population to add several trainers, affording Blockmaster, which is expensive on a run zero, plus a break on Tion Z5, a 40% all-stat increase. I don't think Zach designed it into the game on purpose, it just worked out this way.]
1h34m07s: 151 pop, 10.5s RC with Z5/7. 1h37m44s: Drop from Z6c39, TP for 3.
"Now we have these access map frags we can use to route through the old trimpopoli," the scientist explains, "Atlimpis for food, Morimpa for gems, Everimp for metal, and Impazon for wood."
"What about the garden?" the human asks.
"Well, we got lucky with Tricky Paradise," the scientist says, "but you can randomize the route and maybe get lucky. What's with that look?"
"Somehow, I'm remembering 'frag' as something that blew up with deadly pieces," the human says. [Different video games - ones with better graphics and worse gameplay Ｏ(>▽<)Ｏ]
1h39m59s: Blues back up to the top on series I...
"Tai, Tai!" the first ever trimp scientist stops the human just before he upgrades the mace and dagger to Mk.6 and Mk. 8 respectively. It has a note for him.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" the human asks, "Do you think that's my name?"
"Shijou, Shijou," it nods as though to indicate, I KNOW it is. Then it proffers its note again. The human takes it and reads, "Don't upgrade the first row equipment right now."
"Why not?" the human asks.
"Shijou," it points at the end of the mapped route, where there's a scroll sticking out of the thistles.
2h24m07s: Zone 8, 224 pop, 12.2s RC with Z7/12.
"Your settlement is getting crowded, there's Trimps in the streets, and you're taking heat. You feel a sudden strong desire to create a map, though you're not quite sure how that would help."
2h49m10s: Zone 9, 357 pop, 9.5s RC with Z8/15.
"You can't shake the feeling that you've been here before. Déjà-vu?"
The trimps really seem to like the new high capacity mansions, and the village has rapidly expanded since they started building them.
"There's something familiar about this," the human says.
"Tai," the grey one that writes clings to his arm and shows him a note that says, "Don't give up now."
"We must persist," says the yellow one has found a foothold it can grab onto and grabs the human's shoulder gently, "If you give up to early, we'll never solve this. You'll be stuck here forever."
The human puts his hand over the trimp's paw on his shoulders, then looks at him, "I can die, too."
"No, you can't," the trimp says quietly, "Please don't test that, tall one."
"Death is just another path..." he remembers.
"Gan," the grey one squeaks. [That's the first two kana syllables of "Gandalf"]
"...one that we all must take," the human continues, "The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it-"
"A green mist," the yellow trimp interrupts, "flash of fire, we're all gone and our progress forgotten. The wandering stars return to that day, and you again crash that ship- ...a little better every time."
"Wait," the human looks around, "have I been here before?"
"I-" the yellow trimp tries in futility to share what little it knows, "...or... somebody got just a little coolant into the-"
"Into the what?"
"This side up," the grey one's note says.
"Into the that," the yellow one points at the note, "It really helped. You- ...I don't think we've ever had mansions before."
Well, of course they didn't have mansions before. That was one of my ship's data cards. How did it get way out here? Will anything start to make sense?
3h02m13s: Zone 10, 387 pop, 8.7s RC with Z8/15; '28s: 11.1s RC with Z9/19. 3h16m41s: Tough snimp after food book, L10 rand dept from lo-hi-med 118/25/96, 4 Items.
"That's twice our frags led us to gem-rich Moria," the human says.
"Morimpa," the new red trimp scientist corrects, there now being 5 scientists. [There'd be more if there were more turkimp.]
"The question is how do we use all these gems?" the human looks at the village zoning plans again, "I like those mansions and all, but they use hardly any gems compared to, well-" he gestures at the pile of over two dozen thousand gems they've gathered, "-that! And still a lot of wood and lumber."
"I think there's something," the yellow one sighs, "I wish I knew more."
Quite some time later, after they're done looting that route for equipment plans, the trimps are again advancing through Zone 10, and he hears it.
"Tai?" the grey one wonders.
"Where are you going?" the yellow one asks.
"To the farm," the human answers.
"Whatever for?" the red one seems exasperated.
"Shijou?" the grey one sighs, then looks at the fighting front. It's been around long enough to remember, "Shijou!"
"You guys already get so much to eat this doesn't do you much good," the human explains.
3h32m33s: L11 112/35/78 rand sea, dropped from Z11c6 with disband, 4.
"What's wrong?" the red one asks.
The human comforts one of the wounded. Once trimps start into a zone fight, they have to finish before they bleed out. He's really bothered making them desert in front of that second turkimp. "They had a lot left in them," he sighs, rubbing his eyes, "but we can't keep that much dead turkimp at once, we have to leave it alive to use up all of this one."
"Shijou," the grey one presents a note, "We need this map right away, anyway. Don't worry about it, Tightniks."
"Tightniks?" he looks at the grey one, "Is that me? How do you know?"
"Tai," the grey one points at the top of the human's left breast pocket.
"Ah, crud," the yellow one curls its tail around in front of itself as trimps do when they're embarrassed, "Is that really a name tag?"
The human hadn't even noticed it since the green flash blew up his memory as he was stepping out of the ship.
4h04m22s: Block (sub-8h AP is only 0.3%), taking it, 504 pop, 9.8s RC with Z10/24.
It's a pretty thick book about using shields for block instead of hit points. The pad has the stats analysis. Sh3-1 is only giving us 9% of our hit points. Turning to his trimp scientists, he says, "It seems to me to be worth it."
"Let's," the yellow one nods.
"Shijou," it hands him a note, "It scales badly, but that won't matter for a long time. I think there's a way to undo it before it matters."
"Doing it." The human takes out his pad and starts scanning.
4h29m05s: L14 rand moun 137/26/80 is really good for a lo-hi-med. 4h30m52s: Hotels.
"Ah," the yellow one says, "I knew there was something. That must be it."
5h08m09s: L15 lo-hi-hi rand gard 129/28/82 (just got explorers). 5h09m32s: Picked up Wall.
"Dam," the human says.
"Damn?" the red one chuckles.
"No," the human says, "Earthen wall dam; it's a thing that makes artificial lakes by holding rivers back."
"Lakes?" the yellow one asks, "Rivers?"
"Oh yeah," the human says, "This planet doesn't have enough rain for those..."
5h48m21: Leaving Wall from about c70 to fetch Tion Z15.
"You can't resume the map from the same point if you start another," the human reads the grey one's note.
"We can go back to the same point on that route if we hold there and finish Zone 15, right?" Tightniks asks.
"Shijou!" it seems to be saying yes.
"Yes," the yellow one adds, "but we're out of Series III upgrades, and you need a fresh map route to start up Series IV."
"We should be okay," Tightniks says, "but if we have to start it over, I don't see that being a big deal." As they advance through the rest of Zone 15, Tightniks resumes his usual duties at the research desk instead building and running traps like he was before.
The trimps seem hopeful at this decision.
5h49m10s: Fresh turkimp. 5h50m16s: Zone 16, 1071 pop, 13.4s RC with Z15/75, 13m43s turkimp (skel in c1.)
"Z:16 Seriously? Another Blimp so soon?"
"So," Tightniks lowers his bee nickels and looks at the red one, "is it going to be boss fights at the end of every zone from now on?"
"Hmm," the red trimp looks up past the human at some random rock spire or cloud.
"Well?" the human persists.
"Yup," he says.
"Hmph," Tightniks grabs a Sw3-1 of the rack and advances towards the front, "Before then, we have another Mister Titanium."
"What does he like about skeletimps?" the red one asks the grey one as the human marches off.
"Shijou?" the grey one seems just as confused by that.
"He's not going back to the ship, and he's not getting himself killed," the yellow one smiles, "so I'll take it."
5h58m32s...
"Hey guys, go for the mortar!" the human suggests to his 75 fighting trimps in the Wall's boss fight.
"I can tell from your bedtime stories that you're used to the artillery in that other place," the yellow one gripes, "but fighting works differently here, there's no artillery."
And the human instantly collapses laughing, the scientists a little worried he might have injured himself in the planet's severe gravity. But he's okay, at least physically, "Mortar is the stuff between the bricks, fellas. That's is a brickimp, right?"
5h59m18s: Wall, 1076 pop, 13.3s RC, 1% AP for sub-8h finish, first L16 roll good 156/35/84 moun, 10 for the metal.
Beyond the Wall was a more edenic section of the trimpolis ruins, doubling the production of the lumberjacks. The trimps are actually really happy with the mode of all of the laborers moving between the three big jobs, along with the turkimp, except for the foremen specialized at leading the job. It isn't enough to boost their productivity, but the human goes to them with trays of sandwiches.
6h06m52s: 50 map run 0.3% AP...
6h19m13s: Zone 17, 1141 pop, 16.0s RC with Z16/94, no turkimp.
"Z:17 You climb a large cliff and look out over the new Zone. Red dirt, scorched ground, and devastation. Is that a Dragimp flying around out there?!"
"Hmm," the human surveys the new zone with his bee nickels, "Looks like crap. Any ideas?"
"You're the idea man," the yellow one groans.
"Set the map flag," he puts his bee nickels away, "We'll run a depth for practice and to load up on gems for more hotels."
"Righto," the red one gets to work.
6h44m34s: First DCP. (Draglimp Care Package; I refuse to call it a tribute.)
"Oh," the human says, "It's tame now, so it brings back gems in exchange for food?" He looks at his gaping scientists, "That's what it looks like, huh? Guys? Yo!"
"Tai..." the grey one sighs.
Draglimp, the dragimp imprinted on Tightniks, lands beside the human, drops some gems at his feet, and accepts some scratching behind its horns before diving into the food bowl.
"You tamed a dragimp???" Grey's note says.
"Well," the yellow one huffs, "I guess that happened."
8h18m53s: L20 depth of 154/27/79.
"Mapping up here?" the red one half closes one eye and tilts his head.
"Yeah," the human says while fitting together the depth map fragments, "With the coordination book not right at the end, we have an extra mark of coordination to take advantage of. Let's take our housing up to 2000 or so, shall we?"
"Okay," the yellow one says from a pile of logs, "What's all the wood for?" They had been collecting it for days now.
"The series upgrades follow a rather specific pattern," Tightniks explains, "Just on the other side of this blimp is Zone 21, where we should be able to find the Shield series V, right?"
"Shijou!" the grey one nods.
8h56m17s: 1% AP for 100 map runs, leaving it, 1751 pop, 24.8s RC with Z20/232. 8h56m54s: Zone 21...
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from that."
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
"Shijou," the grey one says hopefully, and has a map drawn within a few minutes. [Whether it looks like the one in Puchim@s 1x61 is anyone's guess. That one annoyed me as well as Chihya.]
9h02m37s: L21 moun first roll was a decent 160/26/84. 9h21m00s: Starting run 5 of that map...
Tightniks had taken his anger out on some food and wood to build about 8000 traps. Now he's leaning against a rock spire in his increasingly tattered uniform. A nap begins, perhaps unintentionally.
Wild trimps are examining the pile, finding it unwelcoming, and also finding no place in the town, just mill about. It looks like they want to help.
"Ku?" it's a blue trimp, probably a farmer waiting for stuff to grow, climbs up on the rock spire the human is leaning against, starts patting him on the head, "Ku. Ku ku." [Puchim@s Chihya.]
9h23m09s: Still working that lap...
Tightniks wakes up from that nap, and the grey one is standing there. "Shijou," it says with a note of concern, although not much of one. The note it holds says, "It wasn't me."
"Oh, what wasn't you, buddy?" He stretches out a bit, feeling somewhat refreshed. It feels like somebody washed his face and hair while he was sleeping.
The grey one is also holding a small mirror, apparently broken off from a larger mirror and with the sharp edges filed down to make the edges safe.
The human takes it from the grey trimp and holds it in front of his face to discover that somebody has bound up all his hair into about twenty little pigtails. He touches them with his other hand to confirm. "Eh, whatever." He hands the mirror back and goes back to sleep. [Puchim@s Koamimami.]
9h30m08s: The following run...
"He's not throwing stuff every which way yet," the yellow one whispers to the red one, watching the human snoozing with his pad on his knee.
"You remember that, too?" the red one asks.
"'Remember'?" the yellow one turns to face the red one, "I s'pose that's better than imagining it."
"I remember it, too," the grey one says via a playing card sized note.
"If we're stuck in a time loop," the yellow one sighs, "maybe this cycle will be different."
"Tai..." the grey one admires him for a moment. Then thumbs in the direction of the mountain, "Heh, Shijou!" it laughs.
9h35m58s: Run 8, c9 of that map.
The scientists nap and take notes, and meditate and take notes, and draw stuff. The grey one often storyboards for the other nine because it's the best at drawing stuff. They have come up with a list, and most probably "order" (they're debating whether their ranking means "order" (sequence of things happening over the various loops) or "frequency" (what proportion of previous loops they have happened in). But they've come up with this, from first (or perhaps most often) to most recent (or perhaps least often):
- The ship crashes (they're pretty sure that happens every loop) - The human builds huts - The human teaches some of his trimps to speak and do science - The human builds houses - The human makes maps - The human builds mansions - The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp - The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels - The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp - The human only recently/rarely maps the Dimension of Anger
They're all agreed that that they have never finished the Dimension of Anger. What they are not all agreed on is that they've never done this conference to figure out whether they're in a time loop or what that might mean. [See also Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Cause and Effect" ...which was sort of a time loop but they weren't going back in time. It's very interesting, but its meta makes no sense - no one ever went looking for the Bozeman in 80 years? No one who went looking for the Bozeman also got stuck? No one noticed the passage of time outside the little area of space where the not-quite-a-time-loop was happening? Errr... sci-fi writers, don't be half-assed about your time loops, lmao! Be like Harold Ramis- ...what am I saying?? (That would be Groundhog Day, which grafted a time loop into a romcom; there are no other sci-fi elements. But it was a full-blown time loop and not half-assed like "Cause and Effect".)]
9h54m06s: Dropped from Z21c95...
I think it would be a bad idea to bypass that green area, as much as I'd rather not face it. Both his domesticated trimps, which are breeding up a new group of fighters, and the wild trimps he has decided just now not to open the traps for, stare at him and point in that direction. He shoulders a huge Shield V-3 and grabs an Mace IV-2 as well and announces, "We're doing it." Thus equipped, he marches off into the Dimension of Anger.
10h27m53s: Taking Pi4-2; recently had taken Pa4-2...
The group at the front had expired, and the snimp in DoAc95 glares at the advancing colony of trimps, which had halted only because of it. It refuses to counterattack the vulnerable colony and its human, instead snorting and huffing, waiting for the next bunch of 232 fighting trimps to come in range.
Tightniks runs along the line of traps, releasing the recently tamed trimps, singing a song that he doesn't remember the meaning of, that he doesn't remember was crafted by an ethnically Chinese guy out of an African language, and later mastered by two caucasians over the internet before they ever met in person. "Baba yetu yetu uliye, mbinguni yetu yetu amina..." because it just happened to be stuck in his head. [Because the Doylian author decided on a whim to. Christopher Tin got it into Civilization IV and at the time (2010 July), I made the best video for it on YouTube, which got subsequently blown to shreds when Peter Hollens and Malukah re-recorded the song from scratch in their own voices and instruments in 2014, pity with no English translation, the purpose of my video.]
Noticing the last batch of metal he needs coming out of the furnace, he waves the waiting grey scientist to fire up the forge [to use the term properly and not as the game does], for it was time to wrap up the forging dies for the Spetum IV, Mark 2 pike heads.
"Shijou!" the grey one cheers, setting aside a snack that looks like maybe ramen, and starts jumping up and down on the bellows handle.
It takes a while for the human to chip out the tip in the two halves of the forging die, and then polish it, and then heat it up in the forge, and then quench it, inspect it, and put it into service crafting thousands of new pike heads for the fighting trimps.
But only one second passed on the map frame clock (10h27m54s) four cells behind that snimp, in the case being brooded over by this huge, and if it's honest, rather concerned megablimp.
10h35m45: Portal PB, 45 He, 4.247 He/hr, 1891 pop, 22.7s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' mace heads bounces of it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Red, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Mace IV, Mark 3 with both hands and gets it over his shoulder, its target obviously this object, anger at the realization he screams at the top of his lungs, "We are stuck in a mutha FAH-king time loop!!" His swing begins. [Tightniks almost never cusses, unlike Snugniks.]

Season 4 is all about desperation. Homelander sends the Seven to find the Boys and put an end to them, while tensions between his supporters and Starlight's spill into violence. Homelander becomes more and more fed up with each passing day, catching the attention of the government, who send a general (or the congressman guy from season 1) to try to figure out what's going on. Homelander doesn't take it nicely, and violently threatens him. The government decides the main problem isn't Homelander but Homelander's obsession with Butcher, so they work on finding and killing Butcher and the Boys.
Meanwhile, Butcher has found the supe virus and manages to weaponize it, but the military has tracked him down. Before they can move on him, Homelander arrives and tells them off, saying that they put supes into the military for stuff like this. They're superheroes, so they'll stop the supervillains. A tense standoff occurs between the military and Homelander, but they back off. Homelander searches the farm Butcher and the Boys held the virus, finding they have fled just in time, but unfortunately have left behind a sample of the virus, giving Homelander an idea to weaponize it himself.
Butcher, realizing this, releases the part of the virus he has, not yet ready, and it starts to infect the superhero community, including Kimiko. This further divides the country. 20% of supes support Starlight, but the other 80% of supes support Homelander, and like Sam and Cate, begin to hate the normal human population more and more. Finally fed up with the antics of the Seven, the military attempts to intervene, leading to Homelander killing an entire infantry (or whatever it's called) of the military. He then tells the public that the leftist run government is trying to stop democracy, and that Neuman needs to be elected to save the country, with his killing of the soldiers as self defense and proof of irreparable corruption.
Homelander is able to make a very weaponized version of the virus by testing on "rogue" supes, such as the Gen V kids. Neuman gets elected and Homelander kills Singer, claiming that he was killed by the leftists. Before Homelander and Neuman can fully take control, Butcher and the Boys find and free the Gen V kids, and them manage to steal Homelander's virus. A fight goes down, where Neuman (and perhaps Andre) is killed, while Homelander is infected by the virus but is able to escape. He discovers he's strong enough to not die from it, but his powers have disappeared. Homelander's supporters and the supes that are on his side, thinking he's died, storm D.C. and take over the White House, while Butcher convinces Mallory to wake up Soldier Boy.
Season 5 has Homelander on the run and hiding as a normal person without powers, now forced to fight tooth and nail to survive from Starlight supporters who manage to recognize him. At the same time, Ryan and Homelander supporters try to find where he is before the military and the Boys can find him, but the rest of the Seven and Homelander loyal supes start to attack the military, with a new leader temporarily taking Homelander's place. Things become worse when they discover that Homelander, wherever he is, is likely gaining his powers back, and when he does, he's going to burn everything to the ground, just like he told Starlight he would.
Butcher wakes up Soldier Boy, who throughout the season has a redemption arc. He's old, tired, fed up with the world he's shaped when he became the first supe. Butcher, also dying, comes to an agreement with him. In the last two or three episodes, Soldier Boy begins to power up a chest blast. It's excruciating for him, while Butcher protects him and keeps him on the move. The two of them reflect on their lives.
Starlight and her supes, including the Gen V kids, try to fight back against the Seven and Homelander supporters, but they're quickly losing ground. At the same time, Ryan manages to finally catch up with Homelander, tracking him down to a farm where he's befriended an old couple unaware of who he is. In the barn, Homelander describes them like they are his parents, mirroring the false backstory Vought gave him in the first season. Homelander tells Ryan that because of him never having parents, he was never able to be a good father to him, but now that his powers have finally returned, the two of them can start again, and create a utopia for supes. Ryan seems to agree with him, before using his lasers to kill Homelander, who only responds with "attaboy".
Soldier Boy and Butcher find a remote enough spot. Butcher calls Hughie and says goodbye, asking him to take care of Annie and Ryan. Soldier Boy finally releases the blast he's been powering up. The size is comparable to that of a nuke, killing both SB and Butcher. The power draining effects are large enough to encompass the entire U.S., draining the powers of every supe in the country.
The final shot of the show is Ryan, now being cared for by Hughie and Annie. It's revealed then that Ryan is so strong that his powers have survived the blast, and his future as to whether he will become a villain like his father is left unclear. Maybe Gen V will continue with this.

Hi All-
When looking for testosterone pellet information, I found very little documentation in the form of journals and regular cadence check-ins. The one I found was immensely helpful to me, and I wanted to return the favor. I am six weeks into my first pellet therapy and very happy with the decision to do it.
Prior to the pellet, I was really suffering from massive amounts of brain fog, and I could hardly focus. I had very low energy, no libido (no desire at all), I was unhappy, cranky, and cried easily.
My biggest fear going into this was having a ravenous libido (as some have experienced). I let my doctor know this and we started with a healthy but moderate dose.
I've tried to provide as much detail as possible, but happy to answer any questions.
46 yo
158 lbs, Current T level of 18 (prior test was 11), estrogen is in the normal range
Biote 125mg on 3/29/24
3/29/24 - Day one
The procedure was quick and easy, I was nervous and tense, but it was painless.
No shower for 24 hrs, no soaking for 3 days.
Also taking DIM 150mg once per day (also prescribed a supplement for ADK and B12 but these are unrelated to the T pellet)
Was tendesore at insertion point for a few days but nothing major.
4/5 - 1 week update
Sick for a few days this week (unrelated), so this may impact my overall experience. I haven’t felt any different for the most part.
I rubbed my eyes (thanks to allergies) and lost some eyelashes and brow hairs. it seemed to be more than normal, which could be a tiny side effect, but maybe not. I did notice a few small pimples over the week, but I’m also in my week of menstruation.
I haven’t gained or lost weight, no mood changes.
Still a tiny bit of tenderness at the insertion spot, but it’s very minimal. The incision is completely healed from the outside.
I haven’t been consistent with the DIM supplement due to illness, but have restarted after a few days off.
My doctor did tell me that it may take a few weeks to start to feel the effects of the testosterone.
4/12 - 2 week update
Allergies took over and I had a bad couple of days with extremely low energy. Went to bed at 9pm one night, and the next day had the worst hot flash of my life (beet red from chest to face for a solid 45 minutes.
My weight gain has been minimal but a bummer. I have gained 3 lbs and currently weigh 160.
No change in sexual desire, or energy that I’ve noticed yet.
I met briefly with my doctor, who said I should be feeling it by now, but I’m not. Maybe it's due to a couple of weeks of not-so-great health.
4/19 - 3 week update
I’m starting to notice some changes. In general, my energy seems to be slightly increased. I seem to wake up a bit easier in the mornings. I feel more motivated in general, and more capable of letting go when bad things happen.
I noticed that the mild vaginal dryness I was experiencing is gone. There is no real noticeable change in desire (yet), but I will say that even the slight increase in energy and ability to once again self-lubricate makes me feel more open to the idea of sex.
My weight has leveled off and I have dropped half a lb since the week prior.
5/5 - 5 weeks update
No changes from week 3. Feeling a bit of motivation and more energy to keep going during the day. The biggest change so far has been a decrease in my brain fog. I have clearer thoughts in general and fewer days spent lost to brain fog. I have noticed that the severe breast swelling and tenderness I typically experience ~2 weeks before my period has not happened since being on testosterone. It’s only been 5 weeks, which means I’ve only moved through one cycle, so this may change, but an observation for now. There are no other changes in my cycle to note, but because of the Mirena IUD, I do not typically have periods where I bleed (but I have had a handful of breakthrough bleeding in the last year).
I’ll be going in this week for my 5 week (midpoint) bloodwork and I’m very curious to see what my T levels have balanced out to and talk through what my next dose may be.
5/13 Check-up
160.5 lbs, Testosterone 195!!
Great check-in with my doctor. My testosterone is in a great range at 195. I feel good. Not bad. Thats something worth celebrating! Nothing earth-shattering, but I feel so much better in general. Most days I wake up feeling ready for the day (and waking up is a bit easier), there are fewer brain fog days, my libido has come back (YES!), and I feel much more able to focus and get things done. No breast swelling pre-cycle as I had before, and much less dense fibrous tissue as well (from what I can tell). I think I may have noticed a decrease in inflammation in my joints, but I can’t be sure just yet.
My emotions feel much more in check. In the last few years, I was referred to as a "crier," which made me very self-conscious. Now, when there is conflict or some sort of upset, it's much easier to keep this in check. I still get weepy occasionally; it's just easier to manage. Crying is healthy. I don't not want to cry; I just want the ability to have a bit more control over it.
No side effects other than a few lbs of weight gain (which I’ve read could be water weight and may go away), but I’m fine with this given the other results.
Overall thoughts: I’m really happy with the results. The energy boost is subtle but noticeable after a few weeks. Keeping a journal has definitely helped me check in with myself and take note. I would say this option is worth exploring. Prior to the pellet i tried the gel, but was not happy at all with the results. This is clearly a very personal choice. Gel or injections may be right for others, but pellets work for me.
Honestly, I feel like I'm back to the me I used to be. It's really nice!
I scheduled my next pellet insertion for another 6 weeks out. We’ll continue to monitor levels throughout the year.
I hope this helps others make a more informed decision!

I'm open to trades but would prefer to sell. I have a 5 star seller rating on discogs looking to avoid the fees. Will entertain reasonable offers. All titles are around or under lowest discogs prices. Shipping $7+ $1 for each additional title media mail to continental USA. International shipping isn't out of the question but will have to research. I use whiplash mailers for 1-3 records.
Can send discogs links that's just a lot of copy pasting for a Phone post. Pictures also available upon request. All titles wet vac or ultrasonically cleaned and kept in archival inner and outer sleeves unless noted as Sealed.
Rock/metal: ACDC- Back in Black 2003 pressing George Marino remastering VG+/NM light scratching on side one barely visible. $15
Alan Parsons Project I, Robot Mobile Fidelity Ultra disc one step. LP only in a generic white jacket. $40
Alt-J An Awesome Wave- black vinyl 2015 pressing NM/NM $25
Alt-J The Dream Nightmare version (corona swirl coloring. jacket water damaged LP was warped but was flattened. $20
Anthrax- Fistful of Metal black 2021 pressing NM/NM $18
The Beach Boys- Pet sounds 33/3 analog productions/acoustic sounds title NM/NM $70
Clutch- Sunrise on Slaughter Beach Transparent Magenta NM/NM $15
Danzig 6:66 Satan's child, clear with red/black splatter 2022 release NM/NM $15
Dethklok- The Dethalbum clear red revolver exclusive NM/NM $120
Fall Out Boy so much (for) Stardust gold color NM/NM $15
Joji- Gimme Love transparent orange NM/NM $50
Megadeth Warheads on Foreheads box set with graphic novel Clear Vinyl NM/NM $200
Metallica Ride the Lightning Black 2x45 mastered by Mofi pressed at RTI NM/VG+ $60
Opeth- My Arms, Your Hearse blue vinyl Half Speed Remaster Sealed $35
Opeth- Orchid Gold vinyl Half Speed Remaster Sealed $35
Opeth- Morningrise Silver Vinyl Half Speed Remaster Sealed $35
Rammstein- Reise, Reise. 2017 press in shrink but not sealed. NM/NM $30
Rufus Wainwright- Want Two Test pressing bandbox NM/generic jacket. $40
The strokes- Is this it? Unknown pressing year. VG+/NM. $15
Sublime 40 Oz to Freedom. 2021 pressing NM/VG+ $20
Van Morrison- His Band and the Street Choir. Rhino HiFi Mark on last track on side 1, dinged top right corner. $30
The White Stripes- Elephant 2013 pressing NM/NM $20
The White Stripes- 3" RSD 3 6 pack with Included Third Man records yellow/black triple inchophone still in box. NM/NM $250
Soundtracks Daft Punk- Tron Legacy Mondo Variant NM/NM $60
Ramin Djawadi- Westworld Season Two Soundtrack. Mondo exclusive NM/G+ or VG sleeve. Seam split between triple gatefold on the non spine side. $40
John Williams-Star Wars A new hope Blue 33 7" Main Title/Cantina Theme Sealed $15
John Williams-Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back Red 33 7" The Imperial March/The Asteroid Field $15
Hans Zimmer- Interstellar Expanded soundtrack 4 black LP set 2020. NM/NM $80
Other genres
Sam Cooke- Portrait of a Legend target exclusive NM/NM $15
Miles Davis- The Electric Years Box set Vinyl Me Please Anthology. NM/NM $480
Death Grips No Love Deep Web VMP lime Green exclusive scratch on side B, not listened to so unsure how it would affect play. VG/NM $20
Aretha Franklin- Amazing Grace white Vinyl, 2022 pressing Sealed $20
Ziggy Marley-Love is my religion Bandbox Exclusive Tangerine Swirl $20 NM/NM
Nina Simone- Silk and Soul VMP ROTM small scratch on last track on side B. VG+/ NM $25
Muddy waters Father's and Sons VMP small scratch on side 4 not audible on my system VG+/NM $27
Trisha Yearwood- Let's Be Frank Autographed some shelf wear on jacket. NM/VG+ $30

Playing around with formulas and might try this out in. Trichosol Base from Fagron since it is hypoallergenic won't irritate the scalp etc and thus doesn't require sketchy corticosteroids
Thoughts on formula are as follows. Finasteride at 0.025% to equal 0.1-0.2 mg topical systemic absorption per perfect hair health formula for 70% scalp DHT reduction with < 20% serum DHT reduction estimated
Studies showing Minoxidil 0.5% + Tret has statistically significant results at 6+ months. I think Minoxidil is poison personally. Lowest dose possible to not affect heart
Fagron TrichoXidil is doing the heavy lifting as the growth stimulant here per Fagrons studies showing increased IGF-1 etc similar to minoxidil in a 2.5% vs 2.5% study they did.
Caffeine is obvious
Tea tree oil at super low dose to modulate hair, unclog pores, reduce inflammation. One of the few oils actually worth a damn. Used to treat cold sores etc.
Aloe and biotin I will throw out unless good reason to keep. Might ditch the Minoxidil and Tretinon too to beta test the TrichoXidil
Unclear if 0.025% Fin is strong enough without propylene glycol enhancing absorption
Aloe 0.05%
Biotin 0.05%
Minoxidil 0.5%
Tretinoin 0.01%
Caffeine 0.005%
Melatonin 0.003%
Tea Tree Oil 0.05%
Finasteride 0.025%
Fagron TrichoXidil 2.50%
There's a somewhat similar interesting formula here from Bayview Pharmacy
https://www.bayviewrx.com/formulas/Minoxidil-5-Tea-Tree-Oil-1-Niacinamide-0-5-Finasteride-0-016-Tretinoin-0-01-Topical-Solution-Androgenic-Alopecia-Acne-Vulgaris-Hirsutism-Hyperpigmentation-Rosacea-
And a Brazilian pharmacy where Fagron products are bountiful
https://www.bspharma.com.bmino-xidil-turbinado/p

Intro

Hello, I'm Goody. I make TFT content on YouTube, Twitch, and occassionally Reddit.

This time I'm here to discuss Zoe Reroll, a comp that has caused a little bit of a stir on the PBE due to her buffs in 14.10

I honestly think Zoe is insanely OP now (I mean just watch this clip I posted a few days ago).

But there are those that say Zoe is a terrible unit

The most prominent of which is Mortdog who said "Stop playing Zoe. She's not good. Despite the buff even"
(VOD Timestamp of this here)

Challenger Zoe One-Trick: LIGhtYgo

I've been playing a lot of Zoe Reroll on the PBE, but recently in my stream CuLe TV told me about a Challenger on the Japanese server who one-tricks Zoe Reroll called LIGhtYgo. His lolchess page is here if you want to read it
And coincidentally, I've been playing the same comp they play amongst others that I'll share with you today

TLDR:

If you want a TLDR, this timestamped section should cover that

VIDEO FORM

(The video also has Spanish and Vietnamese Subtitles)
Disclaimer: I tested these comps on the PBE and I have not played them in ranked. For transparency, here is my lolchess
And my Exalted only account here

(Highly recommend trying this btw, it's very fun)

But let's get started!

Ghoe Reroll (Ghostly Zoe)

So let's start with what LIGhtYgo plays which is this comp here
(Teambuilder here)
I couldn't find any VODs to link from LIGhtYgo but here's some of my gameplay of this comp on the PBE
From looking at their match history, LIGhtYgo tends to reroll Shen + Zyra or Zoe + Illaoi (1 tank + 1 carry) but sometimes they manage to 3 star everything alongside Aatrox.

Give Zoe Shiv

LIGhtYgo also frequently itemises Zoe with Statikk Shiv, 3 star or otherwise, to stack Zoe's passive as much as possible.

Passive: Kills increase the number of ricochets by 1 for the rest of combat.

Now, I should mention that Zoe's tooltip here is misleading and frankly incorrect. Zoe gains more ricochets if she participates in a kill, also known as takedowns.
And that is why Statikk Shiv is so phenomenal for Zoe. Not only is she reducing the MR of enemy units (helps Ghostly and your Magic Damage Dealers) but the damage from Shiv will give Zoe takedown credit once those enemy units perish.
So, even with just a Shiv and at 2 star, Zoe can be very impactful as her passive continues to easily stack.
Thus Zoe has great synergy with other AP carries like Zyra, Morgana, Teemo, Alune etc as they soften enemy units for each other to clean up.
And so Zoe is an incredible secondary carry as she needs very little to come online
You can infer this from LIGhtYgo's match history as they tend to succeed more when Zoe isn't their primary carry but rather secondary.
Although the buff to Zoe in 14.10 should change that, especially combined with the buffs to Ghostly, Warden, Aatrox, Behemoth and Jax.

Zoe's Weaknesses

From my games, I've felt Zoe has 2 main weaknesses

• Firstly, she can struggle into tanky frontliners as it'll take her more time to stack her passive.
• Secondly, Zoe can lose 1v1s as her ult will no longer ricochet (no targets left to bounce to)

These weaknesses can make Zoe feel very binary: - she either gets 3/4 takedowns and nukes - or she gets stuck, gets no passive stacks, and does nothing

Spooky Solution

But that’s why Ghostly can provide so much value to Zoe.
Those Spectres will help Zoe get through tanks and once they're concentrated, Zoe's single target will nuke which even allows her to win those 1v1s

Problems with Ghoe Reroll

From what I tried on the PBE, I did find this comp to be very powerful at level 9. However it could be a struggle getting there as you also need to reroll Zoe who can be contested by Fortune, Arcanist, and Storyweaver players

Is it a Player Diff?

I also find there to be a really odd tempo where I need to find Zoe 3 but also hit level 9 to find Udyr. I did learn later that you don't really need to 3 star Zoe to get to 9, and it's certainly not impossible to hit Zoe 3 at level 9.
Although, it seems that LIGhtYgo resolves this problem by keeping the option of Zyra Reroll open. (They play boards akin to this one occasionally)
Also, sometimes the Inkshadow item doesn't tend to be that useful, especially if it's Tattoo of Bombardment, as you don't have an AD carry.
Lastly, the position of the Ghostly units is really important so the Spectres concentrate onto Zoe's target(s). This can be really awkward if your primary Ghostly tank has a Stoneplate.
I have lost games because I moved Zoe away from my Ghostly units last second :(
But by far the biggest problem I have found is how much better the comp becomes at 9 than level 8. I personally find rerolling at level 8 to be the easiest to find 3 star Illaoi, Zoe, and Galio 2 whilst also being able to field 8 units which enable many important synergies.
Essentially, I don't like rerolling at either 7 or 8 with this comp. So I decided to comp up with a new comp to address this problem which is Altruist Arcanist.

4 Arcanist 3 Altruist Zoe Reroll

So here's a new variant of Zoe Reroll that has an incredibly strong level 8 (you play Rakan at 9) that gives you more time to reroll and find Zoe 3. This makes this comp so much easier to play and in turn, I have had so much more success with this variation particularly.
Teambuilder here
[Here's the full game from that clip with this comp]
This board also has a primary tank option between Amumu or Illaoi so you can play around whichever you manage to 3 star.
Although your secondary carry here is Lux who also holds your utility items like Morello and Shiv.

The Lissandra Nerfs really hurt...

Honestly, this may be extreme bias due to a bad few games, but I find a Lux 2 to be more reliable than post-nerf Lissandra. Lux feels like she needs a lot less to function better as she CC's more units, usually targets and slows down the enemy carry, and softens up enemy units for Zoe.
(VOD of why I don't like Lissandra)
The combination of Lux, Amumu, and Illaoi feels incredibly solid
Now the reason why I don't give Zoe Shiv on this board is due to a few reasons - Altruists prolong combat due to the mana reave, damage reduction, ally healing, and the trait resistances - That allows your frontline to be super beefy especially since the resistances are great for Bruisers/Wardens (loads of EHP) - Lux will have more AS than Zoe (Lux: 0.7x1.5=1.05 vs Zoe: 0.75x1.2=0.9) - And finally, opening up that item slot allows you to give Zoe a third damage item

Why not itemise Soraka?

Your secondary carry items should be going to Lux as she has more AP from Arcanist.
While Soraka can do a lot of damage, you only really care about her mana reave because it's such a powerful utility ability.
Regardless, Soraka will gain AP naturally from her passive as your frontline will continue to heal during combat. As she gains more AP, she heals your frontline more, who then stall for longer.
Lastly, the following 2 combinations are literally perfect for Altruist Arcanist.

Lux, Teemo, Thresh, Volibear, Galio, Morgana Darius, Bard, Soraka, Galio, Lissandra

4 Warden 6 Arcanist

Here's the board for this one
Teambuilder
(Here's some Footage of this Comp in Action)

Meta Report from Khym and YBY1

In the 14.10 Meta Report by Khym and YBY1, Arcanist Zoe is described as an Easy Top 4 Comp (if I'm reading that correctly)
Khym also has a guide on how to play Zoe/Illaoi RR here
And what's great here is that, again, as you reroll you have option between Amumu or Illaoi 3 as your tank (however Illaoi is better due to the Arcanist AP)
Also, with the 4 Warden buff, this frontline feels great and buys plenty of time for Zoe to scale.
And this variation certainly has the highest ceiling out of all the comps if you get a Porcelain Spatula

6 Arcanist, 4 Warden, 4 Porcelain is extremely powerful.

Luckily, you can easily pivot into this board from Altruist Arcanist but pivoting is a tad more difficult to do if you're playing Ghoe.
Similarly, both the Warden and Altruist boards can tech in Hwei at 8 to make hitting the 3 stars easier.
4 Warden Hwei 4 Arcanist 2 Altruist Hweimothy
So if you're low rolling Zoe, Hwei can easily save the day.
Regardless, all 3 comps make up for at least one of Zoe's weaknesses. They either buy her plenty of time to scale or they tremendously enable her damage and, in turn, her passive.
And, at the very least, Zoe is great item holder due to her buffed passive
Speaking of which, let's talk about Zoe's items now.

Zoe's Items

Of course, as I've mentioned, you can give Zoe Shiv so she can get takedown credit and stack her passive quickly
But generally, MR reduction is necessary (even if it's not on her) so Zoe can kill units and stack her passive. Shiv is far more preferable to build but Ionic still does the job.
But I'm a simple guy, I want to see BIG damage numbers and huge ricochets, thus I forgo Shiv on Zoe for pure damage items.
But before we get into those items, let's talk about which casting item Zoe will want

Casting item: Shojin vs Adaptive Math

First cast:

Zoe is 0/60 and Shojin/Adaptive give 15 mana

Shojin:

0.75^-1x3 = 4 seconds

Adaptive:

0.75^-1x4 = 5.3 seconds

Second Cast onwards

Shojin:

0.75^-1x4 = 5.3 seconds

Adaptive:

10 mana after 0.7 seconds 40 mana every 3 autos every 4 seconds Then 1 more auto for 10 more mana
Thus Adaptive: 0.75^-1x4 = 5.3 seconds
So Shojin will get Zoe's first cast off sooner however after that Zoe's cast frequency between Adaptive and Shojin is the same.
Considering Adaptive gives more AP, is not dependant on auto attacking, will continue to generate mana even if Zoe gets stunned (or has to walk up) and it grants MR (useful against magic damage), I believe Adaptive is the superior mana generating item on Zoe if she has no bonus attack speed
If Zoe has just a Shiv, then her cast frequency is much faster [(0.75x1.2)^-1x4 = 4.4 seconds] with Shojin.

TLDR:

• Give Zoe Adaptive if you're going solely damage items on her (Rabadon/Archangel's + Jewelled Gauntlet)
• Give Zoe Shojin if she has any bonus attack speed (Nashor's/Shiv/Pumping Up)

AP item: Rabadon or Archangel's

Of course, Zoe is a Mage and so she wants as much AP as possible which is either Rabadon or Archangel’s
I prefer Rabadon because it's more upfront AP alongside a great damage amplifier. However Archangel's can be more realistic to build and eventually it will outscale Rabadon's AP.

Increase Casting/Damage Multiplier

Lastly, you can give Zoe an item to increase her casting frequency like Shiv or Nashor's Tooth. Both of these items maximise Zoe's Kill Participation.
Or you can give her more damage amp for more, well, damage. Those are items like Jewelled Gauntlet or even items like Guardbreaker or Giant Slayer.
Although if you go the pure damage route, you need Zoe 3 and a ton of AP, so Zoe can stack her passive by one shotting whatever she touches.

SUPER TDLR:

Generally great build : Shiv/Nashor's + Shojin + Rabadon/Jewelled
My favourite: Adaptive + Rabadon + Jewelled

Bonus: Luden's Tempest

Luden's Tempest feels amazing on Zoe. With her ricochets, she gets so much takedown credit so quickly with it and it's so much damage.
[Here's my gameplay of Luden's Zoe in action]
And what's nice is that Zoe formerly built Luden's in TFT's spinoff game League of Legends. So it's a great callback
Although I've never played Zoe before...can I pretend to have a sense of nostalgia?

Kayle Upgrade

It's Blue.
20 AP is 20 AP. You're already building Shred so Green is Redundant, and the Attack Speed from Red is only 12%.

Pivot Potential

Zoe's items are very flexible so if you don't hit Zoe 3, you can pivot them to other AP carries like Syndra, Azir, Lissandra and Lillia.
So you don't absolutely need to reroll Zoe, you can just as easily use Zoe to Fast 9 instead, especially around Storyweaver, and pivot into a Legendary board.

Fin.

That is all the information I currently have on Zoe Reroll
Hopefully this was helpful but I'd like to ask for your thoughts
What do you guys think about Zoe?

Do you think it's as OP as I believe or is Mortdog right?

Also, I usually do Patch Previews for each patch (for example here's my 14.10 patch preview), but I'm curious whether you guys would be interested if i made that into a Reddit post as well.
I imagine it'd be similar to how they do it on the LoL subreddit but I'd include my thoughts as well.
For example, I think Low Interest Rates is turbo giga insane in 14.10 because you can hit max interest rate at 2-6 (by the latest) at which point you're earning 6 gold a turn.
Lastly, I'm currently working on a Rek'sai reroll comp that is incredibly funny so look forward to that!
But yeah, I'll leave it on that note I think

Let me know if you have any questions!

I shall answer them as soon as i wake up lol

Thank you for reading <3

TL;DR: PED use has huge variance, and can be obvious, or so subtle you wouldn't believe the user if they admitted it to you themselves. 99%+ of high level BJJ guys are on PEDs (yes, even the ones who demonize it). Usually, this is some combination of Testosterone, HGH, and others. We all have our favorite world champ(s), who always say ridiculous things like "yeah I usually drill like 8-12 hours a day, 7 days/wk." That level of training is completely impossible long term, without insanely enhanced recovery. No they're not JUST a genetic freak. They're also using PEDs. Also, they're exaggerating.
I'm writing this because in the past few days, the amount of comments I've read that show a lack of understanding of PED use have made me realize how many people are actually believing guys that say they're "clean". Saw a guy defending Keenan by saying something about how Keenan was VERY against steroids, so clearly he wasn't taking them. (I do not know Keenan, and am not saying he 100% was, I'm just saying this is a ridiculous reason to believe him when he says he wasnt). Another comment was something along the lines of "if the Tacketts were using steroids, they wouldn't have any fat on them!"... What?
Anyway, heres a rundown of the very basics on PEDs. There are three MAIN categories of PEDs nowadays. Anabolic and Androgenic Steroids (AAS), Peptides, and SARMs. Below is a summary of each kind, and below all of that, is some other basic info/FAQ about ALL PED use.
AAS: most AAS are derivatives of testosterone. They have Anabolic effects (growing tissue, usually muscle), and Androgenic effects (masculinizing). Most have a well known ratio of anabolic:androgenic effects, with testosterone being 1:1, and AAS like winstrol being 25:1. In the context of BJJ, AAS is most often used to enhance recovery, so that athletes can train more often. Some have super specific effects. Take Deca for example. Deca is well known for its ability to reduce joint pain, promote recovery, and enhance cardio. If you took another AAS like Trebolone, you'd experience joint pain, and you'd get winded walking up the stairs, BUT you'd gain muscle and burn fat like never before. Not all AAS are created equal. Some have little-to-no side effects (anavar in low doses), some have huge side effects. Most are actually pretty safe when taken correctly, and when bloodwork is monitored. You can take a basic AAS like testosterone, and nobody but yourself would necessarily even notice. Effects can be subtle on the outside, but massive to the person taking them. If someone is taking AAS other than testosterone, they are almost certainly ALSO taking Testosterone, since AAS use suppresses natural T production.
PEPTIDES: more commonly used PEDs nowadays usually come in the form of peptides, since they don't have the "steroid" label attached, and they're usually very easy to buy online. Common peptides in BJJ include Human Growth Hormone, BPC-157, and GH releasing hormones like Ipamorelin, sermorelin, or tesamorelin. Growth hormone is one of the most commonly used PEDs in BJJ and MMA. It is hard to test for (more so easy to pass a test), and has little side effects. It does not make you grow muscle. The most common dosages are around 4ius/day for GREATLY enhanced recovery. Dosages bodybuilders take to grow muscle are usually 10-12ius/day, in conjunction with many AAS that have a synergistic effect. If someone was using growth hormone regularly, you would have literally no idea. All side effects are invisible from an outside perspective (numbness in fingers, daytime lethargy). That person, however, would have insanely increased recovery, and would be able to train hard multiple times a day every day, and barring injury, continue this pattern for the long term.
SARMS: Selective Androgenic Receptor Modulators, change the way our bodies are able to use the hormones we do have inside of us. They almost always have fairly significant side effects, including suppressing endogenous Testosterone production, which makes them indadvisable for the most part. SARM use is usually more prominent in low level athletics (high school/college sports), one of many reasons for which is that SARMS are usually taken orally, so the barrier for use is much lower than buying injection supplies and pinning weekly/daily.
FAQ:
Q: If someone tests clean, doesn't that mean they don't use them?
A: No. Test are usually pretty easy to beat, especially if you know they're coming ahead of time. Some PEDs are rarely even tested for.
Q: What about the little guys that aren't jacked?
A: Not all PED use causes an increase in muscle mass. Some cause increases in cardio (cardarine), some cause enhanced recovery (HGH).
Q: So-and-so only had trace amounts in their system! Surely they haven't used PEDs in years?!
A: If someone is caught using any AAS, they are ALSO using a testosterone base. Testosterone in and of itself is potent enough to cause a massive boost in performance and recovery. So yes, they also used other PEDs, and no, they probably never stopped.
Q: If someone adamantly denies PED use, isn't is safe to say they don't use PEDs?
A: Believe what you want. But know that every single one of these guys (besides Craig Jones) is afraid of being caught. Afraid of being demonized. Afraid of having their wins belittled and attributed to PED use. Every single one of these guys follows the same path as everyone else they know to be on steroids. DENY DENY DENY. Want to make SURE they believe you? Shittalk everyone (else) that's on steroids, and call them cheaters!!
Q: Where would they even get them? Aren't they crazy expensive? Wouldn't they go to jail if they got caugt?!
A: AAS, Peptides, and SARMs, are all extremely easy to order online from a reputable source nowadays, and have them delivered directly to your door. They're mostly fairly cheap (especially testosterone). Police could not care less about your steroid use, unless they thing you're distributing large quantities.

Hello, experts.
I know all of the rules about how much and what counts for contributions. That is not my question.
I would like to know exactly how money gets from an unrelated minor's checking account to that unrelated minor's ROTH account with me as their custodian. I am a teacher of personal finance and have a line of high school students ready to open accounts. I had trouble with the wording that Fidelity uses when trying to fund the account.
For my test case this afternoon, I added the routing number and account number of the minor's checking account as a "I'm not the owner" (I think that was the name?). We are now waiting to get approved.
tl;dr: 17 year old wants to be able to transfer money from her checking account to her ROTH without me being the middleman. Is this allowed or will we set up an "you venmo to me, I deposit in your account" system?
Another confirmation I need: I believe this to be true: A minor can open an account before they have taxable income and that account can wait until they eventually get a job--an account can have a zero balance, yes?
Thanks, everybody.

Around 3 weeks ago, I bought a '21 XLT 2.7 4x4 Supercrew in Antimatter Blue with the 302a high package and ~25k miles on it. Overall, I loved my first 2 weeks with the truck. It felt good to drive, the interior was well thought out and felt quality, and the truck looked great with the color and the chrome appearance package. I was super excited to have a dependable, low mileage vehicle, with a warranty if necessary, that I didn't have to hesitate to take on longer road trips. My two vehicles before this were an 02 Tundra with 240k miles and an 09 Corolla with 200k miles, and the main reason I decided to replace them was while they were still Toyotas, they were starting to nickel and dime me on maintenance and I just didn't trust them on longer road trips.
Before deciding to go with the F-150, I test drove a Tacoma and a Ram.
-The Tacoma felt like, well, a Tacoma (I had a 99 for 9 years and beat it to death and it just kept ticking). It felt rock-solid and you could just tell it was gonna be a quality vehicle. However, even in the quad cab, the backseat was a joke. I wanted usable space for adults on longer trips so this was a no-go for me. Other things that kinda made me feel meh were gas mileage, and standard features. The rig I drove was a 2023 SR5.
-The Ram also felt like a great drive. The pairing of the hemi with that transmission is just smooth as butter. The steering felt nice and responsive, but not overly responsive, and the ride quality was great. They really do ride more like luxury vehicles than pickup trucks. The trim I drove was fully loaded. It was a BigHorn/Backcountry that seemingly had every option available. The things that made me shy away from the Ram was the gas mileage (in that truck it would have been even worse due to gearing), and there was just something about the "quality" feel of the truck that just didn't sit right with me.
This brought to the F-150 I purchased. To me, the 2.7 engine is a no-brainer if you don't plan on doing any heavy towing. The reliability of the engine seems pretty solid, and the gas mileage is a huge plus. I also would have never guessed how much fun that thing is to rip around. It is quick. The quality of the interior, to me, seems to be a notch better than that found in the Ram, though I think the Ram may utilize available space a bit better in some aspects. After a few drives around down was I getting ~19-20 mpg in town, and I did a few 4 hour trips into the mountains where I averaged 24-25 mpg. It was performing as I had hoped.
Now onto the dislikes:
-The shifts in the transmission, sometimes, are garbage. It's always into 3 and 4 that are most notable, Once you get 5+ you don't even notice you are changing gear.
-The vibration in the gas pedal is obnoxious. How could Ford call that operating as intended. That should be a recall. It's just flat out unacceptable.
-Rough idle. Its annoying, and is intermittent. I did an idle re-learn and I know it takes time, but it should be better.
Now to the reallll good stuff.
I was driving down the road normally with my buddy and his wife on Saturday morning headed to play some golf. To add an important detail, I am visiting them out of town, about 4 hours away from where I live. Everything seems as normal, going about 45 down the road, and then it was like my truck was in neutral. Engine running and revving fine, just not getting any power to the wheels. I coasted to the stop light where the service light came on and I got a "shift module fault" (I think that's the exact verbiage, cant remember). When I came to a complete stop the truck shifted itself back into Park. When I would try to put it back into gear. Same thing. Turning off and on did nothing. I was stuffed. Had to get it towed. The really awesome part, being a Saturday, is the the only services at the Ford dealers were what lube techs could perform. So I opt to get it towed to a smaller garage to get them to scan it see if its something simple they can either diagnose or fix. Unfortunately it was not. Luckily they were awesome and hooked me up on the troubleshooting cost and let me keep the truck there until I figured out what to do with it Monday.
So now I am stuck, squatting at my buddies place until I can figure out what is going on with the truck. First thing Monday morning I get on the phone and start calling every Ford dealership within 20 miles, and let me tell you I was not impressed at all. Left message with one service advisor and never received a call-back. One dealer had a 2 week lead on transmission work, Another one just said they were backed up. Another one said first they could see me was Wednesday. Another dealer said they couldn't even work transmission problems because their transmissions guys quit a couple of weeks ago. WT actual F, Ford.
I called the Ford customer service line, trying to see how far they will tow and what my temporary vehicle options are. They say I can get towed out to 50 miles for free. So I call a dealer 40 miles away and they can see it and start working on it that day. Good on them, that service advisor was the first guy I spoke with all day that was willing and able to solve a problem and help me out.
Got the update today, they found metal shavings in the fluid, and they were continuing to troubleshoot and I think were in the process of reaching back to Ford to see what they were going to do (under warranty). I will call back tomorrow for another update.
Fortunately, I took my work stuff up with me, so I only missed 2 half days of work. And as irony would have it, I made it back home using a borrowing Ram 1500.
TL; DR; Have owned truck for less than 3 weeks. Driven 1200 miles. Transmission seemingly took a dump. Truck left me stranded 4 hours away from my house, causing me to miss time at work. Service is not readily available, even with multiple Ford dealers around. ETA on repair of truck: unknown. Will keep updated.

I played this game when it was doing its beta tests, and stuck around the sub while everyone was going insane waiting for release. Due to the lawsuit, the game page got taken down from steam, and I just want to ask how is the lawsuit going? Is a steam release still on the to-do list? I’d like to get the game at some point, but don’t want to have it release on steam a year later and be dealing with a seperate launcher. It’s just personally what I would prefer, and I’m fine with waiting as I’ve got a lot of other games right now.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Sorry , if my question seems general,
I'm just unsure how to ask. I've been texting to this girl for a 2 weeks. I'm the type of person who never does fwb or hookups. I told her beforehand I was looking for something serious (that I consider to find someone for life) and she did agree, share our values etc. She seemed like a serious girl. when I met her the first date. We discussed many things, but I felt she kept baiting me to see what I really think without her giving her true answers, and naive as I am, I always answered with honesty then She literally threw herself at me in an hour of the date, I am not that seducing nor even good looking. So I thought to myself *she probably don't see me as a potential serious partner*
I was just surprised, we started kissing passionately, then randomly she asked me "do you want to have sex with me right now?" I answer no (I know I know I may seem weird but i can't do that with anyone) she then said to me "I was testing you" which I didn't even answer to that, we continue kissing and talking she then asked me again "and now do you want to?" I answered no again, she kept saying "I normally don't do this"
After, the date she texted me "It was such a nice date", I ask her again after 2 days to see her again and that I was looking for something serious, which she did agree again but then she wrote to me that she wanted to ends things right now, my personality didn't match with her she said and we didn't have values. I honestly felt disappointed, I was wondering what I did wrong or did I act in a bad way.
Sorry for the long text, I'm just so unsure what did I do wrong. I never date anyone, I never sleep with anyone. I had one girlfriend. maybe i'm just stupid.

I'm 20 years old in college home for the summer, and I can't do this.
I have first-gen, incredibly strict Indian parents. My high school experience with them was awful. Think of all the cliches--needed to be the best academically (ended up being valedictorian of my school and getting a full tuition scholarship), no freedom at all (curfew was 8pm, no leaving the house more than 2x a week even if it was a club, they didn't think clubs or extracurriculars were important), no driving (even though I got my license at 17), physical and mental abuse, threats, etc etc. To make matters worse, I ended up losing all my friends my senior year. The only person that stuck with me was my boyfriend (secret, of course), and we're still together (4 years now).
College was the best experience for me. I made all new friends (except they all live 2+ hours away from my home sadly) and my bf and I are making long distance work. Coming home last summer was fine because I was only there for a month because I got accepted to this research program which I begged them to let me go to, and they did.
This summer, it has only been 1.5 weeks and I'm losing it. My bf just came back and I always make an excuse to see him, that I'm seeing my old "friends" and they don't question it too much but my curfew is still 9 PM. I came home last night at 9:35 PM and I got yelled at, slapped twice, and screamed at about how I have been spending too much money. I literally worked 2 jobs in college last year and have a virtual summer internship. This is MY money. I'm still not allowed to drive, despite having had my license for 3 years now. When I am allowed to drive, it's only like 3 select locations (all no highway) and I have to use our small, crappy car. I need to do shadowing this summer because I'm a pre-dental student, but I'm not allowed to literally drive to do my shadowing hours. My mom takes the small car to work (she refuses to drive anything else) and my dad works from home so we have the big car completely free but I'm just not allowed to drive it at all.
These are just the recent things but there's so many things that I can't do. I've missed out on trips with my friends, concerts with them, etc. My friends (like a group of 15 people are going) recently invited me to this concert in one of my friend's hometowns 2 hours away and offered me a place to sleep but ofc I can't go! I even tried asking and reasoned out how I would get there via public transit and I just got laughed at. It's all my money, too.
The worst part is, even though I've had the best college experience (because they go to bed at 9-10 PM they don't check my location that late, so I've been able to party and finally have that taste of a normal life) and met the most amazing people, none of them can understand this at all. Most of my friends are Indian/Asian and I know a lot of people but everyone I'm close to just doesn't have this problem. I feel bad ranting to them because they don't know what to say or do. Even when they do try, it's things like "try to sneak out" (cameras, motion detectors, etc) or "better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission" like they don't fundamentally understand how bad it could get if I did that.
I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do. I don't know when I can go out with my bf next. I even have to ask permission to go on a walk/run around our neighborhood and need to be back my dinner and can't stay longer than 1 hour on the dot (dinner is at 7:45 PM).
I don't know what to do. I can't get a job because first of all, even though they complain about money to me all the time, they wouldn't let me get a job because it's too much freedom and driving. Secondly, I'm studying for the DAT (Dental Admission Test) this summer and I can barely even concentrate at home because the second it turns 3 PM the TV starts blasting and they're always yelling at each other. I tried to ask if I can go to the library to study and focus, but again they yelled at me about the car thing and then how it would be a waste of gas money and how I can study at home and how I should be waking up at 6-7 AM to study if the house gets loud around 3 PM.
I hope someone on here can understand, even partly, my frustration. I wonder oftentimes what I have done wrong to make them treat me like this. I have talked to them about all of this countless times, and I am currently ignoring them both (only saying yes/no) while also trying to do everything "perfectly" so they don't have anything to yell at me about because they're mad about me coming home at 9:35.
Please help. I just don't want to live like this anymore. I fear this will be my forever.
If I get into my state dental school, my dad said he would want me to commute because it's cheaper but I would be living at home. I would end myself probably. I can't even think about that right now.

First Previous Wiki
Ezeonwha was walking down a long hallway. The dry and plain painted walls and the pure white lighting of the lower levels of the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office helped to frame the dingy realities of those who could only afford these floors. Not even capable of having windows, these were for those who were the cheapest of the cheap or those who mingled with them. He'd passed several Guides on the way in, their claws echoing in the halls as a sign of authority in this lawless land.
Here, mediocrity was king, and he was a loyal servant. He drew his cloak closer about his neck, unwilling to reveal himself to those who weren't already equipped to see through it all. He was famous enough to be an abduction target if he let his guard down. This place was no exception, though Justicar tried to make them such. Too much security on the higher levels and too little on the lower levels. That was the way of things.
Another hallway, this one marked with bullet holes. Two contractors and a Guide were discussing the pricing of the fix project when he turned the corner. Their voices quieted to nothing, the stillness pressing down upon them with the same intensity as the false lighting. Ezeonwha clacked his jaws, giving them a low bow before continuing on his way. He saw the Guide's eyes light up with the sign of his implants getting a reading. It was another impromptu way of tracking via facial recognition, but it was an ancient practice.
Nothing was new about what the Guides did; only how many of them seemed to be on general patrol. Had Justicar hired more of them or actually done full conversions for all of them? Those arm cannons surely weren't cheap or ethical to insert into unwilling participants. And giving a victim a gun they couldn't be disarmed of was a very bad idea, even for Elders. And Justicar was better than most Elders when it came to abject stupidity. He'd likely only been dropped a few hundred times as a child versus the more likely Elder average of a few thousand.
Ezeonwha chuckled at his internal joke, heading deeper underground into the complex. He was going to a certain meeting, and it would be best not to be late. Even if the Guides tracked him, it wouldn't be negative. The group he had been approached by a few days ago wasn't a terror group. He'd looked them up. They dealt in 'freedom and liberation from all chains.'
The Eyes Of Liberty had focused upon Penny as their latest propaganda target and perhaps as a valuable ally in their fight against all tyranny. Though such a flowery message was likely steeped in idealism for the lower ranks, with more pragmatic and likely richer inner circle elites and leaders ensuring the pot would always simmer but never boil or grow cold. That was the way movements such as these managed to skirt the line between inaction and terrorism.
It was a dangerous thing to do. But these were dangerous times. If Penny left, he'd die. Someone with a grudge would kill him. It was a given, and he'd made peace with it now. He needed to get to work, to help others like him and those worse off, with just a small piece of the meager time he had left.
He was in the system as a friend of Penny, so little scrutiny would fall on him as he came and went. He had a new friend, one who was very interested in connecting to Penny.
The offer had come through his communicator, and he'd answered it given its interesting title. After a lengthy discussion about their goals for him and Penny, he'd agreed to at least have a meeting. He didn't tell them that he had a tracker from Phoebe, which would 'be impossible to miss' if things went badly. He knew the value he had, which was why one of the androids was also accompanying him under the guise of being a Sprilnav.
The android was 'walking' on all fours, its mechanical motion entirely silent. It was obscured by a wave of holograms and hard light holograms that would ensure that it wouldn't be considered suspicious beside him. His only guard was a capable one, and Phoebe had all the confidence of an AI who knew that the destruction of her android would only be an inconvenience for her.
Ezeonwha came to an unmarked door with a well-worn door frame. One knock. One pause. Two knocks. Another pause. Four knocks. He waited, and the door swung open. Eight Sprilnav greeted him warily but warmly, their eyes shifting to Phoebe.
The inside of the room was a dull red, coming from a pair of lights in the center of the ceiling that cast dark shadows near the edges. The whole room felt dark and dangerous, and the walls were lined with guns, computers, and several drones. Shelves and drawers were neatly stacked against the wall, as well as five couches and four double beds with ladder access to the top portions.
Bags of food rested atop a trash compactor unit, and the room service button on the inner side of the wall that Ezeonwha could see in the mirror was worn down to the raw metal. No paint jobs here, only grit and business. The room faintly smelled of body odor and assorted foods. Not entirely unpleasant, but also not what he'd expected from a group with sich a flamboyant name. Perhaps they worked in cell-based units. And that was another thing.
Minds were visible in the distance of the mindscape, but the people here were huddled together mentally. They appeared to be haphazard, but Ezeonwha recognized an old army-type defensive formation a mere step from each of their positions. They were more than they appeared. Though based on how their room looked, they probably weren't veterans, just decently trained.
As they walked through the doorway, a scanner activated. One of the Sprilnav, wearing a headset with numbers and letters swirling on the inner side of the visor, called out: "Phoebe android. Commando variant. Risk assessment: Certain Death. Ezeonwha. Carrying two pistols, one hidden in the pack on his left, and the other tucked inside a strap near the lower bottom of his chest."
That made them all pause, sizing each other up. Ezeonwha smiled nervously, failing terribly to break the building tension once again. His nerves started to get to him, but finally, Phoebe spoke. "Well, friends. I, for one, am happy to talk of the business of liberty. Tell us, what do you have in mind for my friend Ezeonwha?"
"It is not about him, AI. It is about the freedom all sentient beings deserve, and which we shall bring to the galaxy no matter if we are alive or dead."
"An honorable goal to strive toward," Phoebe said.
"Thank you. Your words are quite kind for your type."
"I didn't know I had one," Phoebe replied. "But thank you."
Ezeonwha turned his head toward the Sprilnav with all the fancy equipment.
"What is the best way for me and Penny to help in the fight?"
"The best way would be for you to start killing the gang leaders you come across. Barring that, have Penny ignore the graveyards, and continue freeing the slaves as she ought to. The dead have their freedom; the living need her work more."
"I agree with my companion," another of them said. "So far, Penny has done more for the fight for justice than any other on Justicar in generations, so it is a terrible thing to ask more, but we must ask. Even knowing the terrible toll it would have if she loses the Judgment, Sprilnav are at stake."
"People are at stake, you mean," Ezeonwha said. "There is no need to bring species into this."
"There would not be, but it is still a clear factor," another of them said, a female who looked more shifty in her gaze and demeanor. The Eyes of Liberty seemed like one of those groups with too much division.
"Do you disagree with each other often?" Ezeonwha asked innocently.
"Here and there," the tech guy said. "Not often enough to be a problem, and not when what matters is at stake."
"But that is the thing. How can you agree on when something that matters is a stake?"
"Is this a test?"
"Why would it be? Think of it as a genuine concern," Ezeonwha said. "To associate with your group, I have to be certain it will be resilient to change and risks escalating in the future. If the gangs cannot strike at Penny, they will pick the next best targets. Currently, that is me. If I associate with you in a way they can find out, and I assure you they will find out eventually, you all may be at risk as well. And your group's seemingly cell-based design also means large scale mobilization is difficult, ineffective, and risks severe coordination issues which cannot be quickly or safely remedied without changing core security features of it."
"You deduced all of that from context? You are smart, Ezeonwha. And have a good brain in your head. Everlasting knows we need one of those between all of us."
They all shared a laugh.
"I am not as young as I may look," Ezeonwha said. "Penny is not properly learned of the danger that faces us here. I am. The Underground will kill me when this is over. Do you want to die alongside me, all for your beliefs?"
Silence descended again. Ezeonwha kept the pressure on them when one of them stepped forward. "For freedom and liberty? Yes. I would die for that."
"As would I."
"And I."
They all declared the rest in orders that followed the patterns Ezeonwha was noticing. There were variances in their levels of belief and faith in their purpose. Each person had a different level of value difference, which meant that their lives would be worth more or less comparatively.
Cohesion was weaker, too. Not a full defector team, but likely pieces of several. Was that by design from a higher up leader, or was that just circumstance? Another thing to figure out later, that wasn't critical yet, but he would know before he truly went on any missions with them, if he did at all.
He suspected running messages to Penny would be the majority of their tasks. The quality of intelligence the Eyes of Liberty had offered was substantial. Perhaps enough for Penny to turn herself from a major annoyance to the gangs into an actual existential threat. With Justicar's swarming protection of the Fort Court and the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office, there was a limited amount of things that even the gangs could do. And if the rumors were correct, a Progenitor would be partaking in the trial.
"To be clear, if I join up with you, Phoebe would come too."
"Why would we let an AI join us?"
Phoebe smiled. "Without me, you'll die in this fight. You have trained for around 2000 days. You're acceptable combatants, as is Ezeonwha. But you are fighting in a city, and underneath it. You need to know how to keep a low profile. You need to know how to move through a crowd, get in and out. And you need to keep collateral damage to a zero, or the gangs will use you like they have others who had your purpose and were less careful to justify their 'protection' continuing. If you march in there and kill 50 slavers, if you kill a few slaves or a single bystander in the process, your credibility will be smeared. And frankly, with me on your team, you won't get blown up by an IED when you try clearing your first room in a fortress."
"IED?" One of them asked, while the rest digested her statement, going through various levels of offended looks.
"Your translator is too cheap. Improvised explosive device. Here, that can be old engines, reused oil, cracked plastic, frictional fuel bombs, circuit extruders, sodium splash grenades, as well as the more military style attacks they can pack, from small micro rockets all the way up to lower level fission or fusion bombs. Though if you're in a fight with those things involved, you're already dead."
"Why?"
"Because unless you're Elders, or holograms, a nuke will kill you whether you're right next to it or just inside the same shield. They concentrate the thermal pulse, so your bones would be ash before the pain hit your eyes."
"And what protection could you bring against that?"
"Telling you it's there before you start the attack. That is, if you listen to me. I value your lives over that of this android, but also I value Ezeonwha over all of you combined. I will not prevent him from doing this, but I will have you all know the risks involved."
"We are prepared, Phoebe. We have done much of the training you say, though we do not believe the gangs would plant explosive devices in their own fortresses. There is too much risk around that, with betrayals so common. However, the minefields we have scouted are easy to defeat with the right tactics. Perhaps you can give us a briefing on those, too?"
A challenge.
"I can, depending on how long you wish to do this for. But I have the stamina for either hours or weeks, depending on which you choose."
"What of your batteries?"
"They are of sufficient quality," Phoebe assured.
"I hope so."
Their tech guy nodded, more numbers flashing on his visor. Ezeonwha hoped he had a different way of display, like through an implant or something, for the missions in darker areas. The Underground was, by its name, not a place where much natural light was to be found. And the gangs controlled all the power systems in their territory. It was another part of the racket.
"Why aren't you guarding Penny?"
Phoebe's back straightened, a subconscious posture change to make her seem more confident. Ezeonwha caught the tactic for what it was, though without extensive knowledge of bipedal forms, it was less likely the surrounding Sprilnav knew it.
"Penny proved before a trillion eyes she's capable of fighting Elders, Progenitors, and a Dreadnaught Captain. Not to mention her immense power. I can shoot bullets, but she can literally snatch them out of the air and eat them. She has her own way of doing things, and it is a good way."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Penny landed in the rubble and headed for the Vaquah with a trail of survivors behind her. Many of them, she could recognize the marks of slavery on, with numbers or brands on their skin or just the trauma crouching in their eyes dulled by the pain of a long life in a work camp. Penny went through the wreckage to the shield surrounding the rubble and the defining line between the rest of the city and the destruction. Several news drones flew above her.
More were arriving from various directions. The soft footsteps grew into a constant drumming sound, like a beating heart of doom. Penny marched with them, heading to the spaceport. A large medical operation there quickly rerouted many of its various branches to the most injured freed slaves.
Penny pressed her considerable psychic energy on the entire group, accelerating their healing, slowing bleeding, and generally repairing their bodies and cells from the trauma they'd suffered. But the cloud over their heads did not brighten. The atmosphere remained tense and mournful. Many of them had lost friends, family, and more. She had no right to ask them to feel any different.
She had freed them, that was all. They were not her servants. She was not their ruler.
Several of them came up to her, offering thanks in the small ways they could. Kind words. Attempts at hugs. Even offers of devout prayer and worship, which Penny respectfully declined. She knew, as did most of them, that veneration for her deeds was inevitable. She didn't want to be seen encouraging it at all, since this was a public place where many eyes were upon her.
She knew that it would be misconstrued as a threat if she did. Religions were some of the most major threats entrenched powers could face if not properly co-opted by the state to suit their needs. And here, the 'state' was a military dictatorship billions of years old, ripened with corruption, money, and the immortality of Elders sporting technology beyond any other in the galaxy.
The sky was blue with shields overhead. The Vaquah hung in the distance, its thrusters gently burning to keep it aloft. A trail of shuttles linked the massive ship with several spaceports, including this one. Penny watched the freed Sprilnav get on it one by one, promising themselves to a new life aboard her ship. Technically, they were citizens of the Autonomous Peoples' Stars.
That protection, Penny knew, was why the Vaquah and its innocent inhabitants were still intact. Elders already had hired mercenaries to attack it. They'd failed, thanks to Rimiaha and Penny, but also the defenses of Kashaunta's Grand Fleet when it was in higher orbit. Kashaunta, despite her willingness to use Penny as she would, also had a certain intelligence and empathy. It was highly selective, and only money and power seemed to flip that switch.
But Penny needed the Elder, and Kashaunta only had use for her as an asset. She palmed the new communicator Kashaunta had issued her after the last one's destruction. Kashaunta's hologram appeared. It looked around, noticing the news drones in the air.
"Not here."
"Where?"
"You will know."
In the mindscape, a Sprilnav appeared on Penny's layer. They felt odd to her, almost like the minds of certain humans high up in the hivemind's network. Penny greeted the Sprilnav warmly.
"Hello."
"Queen and Elder Kashaunta requests your presence on her flagship."
"Very well."
In reality, Penny looked around at the crowd. She waited until it dwindled to nothing, and then spoke.
"Displace."
Conceptual energy twisted, and she stood on Kashaunta's flagship, though nearer to the edge than she'd expected. The Elder was waiting for her in an outfit that looked much like pajamas, though they were under a few armor pieces that appeared anything but decorative. Now that Penny noticed it, it was the same sort of armor that Yasihaut had worn to their last encounter, which interfered with conceptual energy. The Sprilnav were highly advanced. She wondered just how far their technology could go. She'd heard mentions of some ships having artificial gravity, and of nanites and programmable matter. But nothing certain.
"Hmm," Kashaunta said, giving Penny a once over. "You have come back. Shall I assume you are still my ally?"
"Nervous, are we?"
"Nervous is what you should be, Penny. The Judgment is coming. Ten days. Indrafabar and Justicar will both be on the court as High Judges. That is not good for us at all. So I figured a bit of prudence was in order. I have thought long and hard about this, and with the great battles of our time so fast approaching, I figure it is time to mend our relationship before the chasm grows any wider."
Kashaunta motioned to a special looking sword sheath on her back. Slowly, she drew a sword. A Soul Blade. Penny began to draw up her armor.
"Oh, I am not wishing for a fight, Penny. I know the damage you could do, even in my sanctum in the sky. Tell me, do you know how Soul Blades are forged?"
"No."
"Good. And tell me, do you know why they draw so much power to swing, even for Elders and beings as capable as us?"
"I have a few theories."
"I am sure you do," Kashaunta said. "But here is the thing. Soul Blades are typically weapons assigned to highly promising Elders, or even Progenitors. Filnatra, undisputed sword master that she is, can wield them as easily as breathing. If I were to swing this blade, there would be no drawback. Why?"
"Because you own that Soul Blade."
"Because this Soul Blade is mine. It is not just something I own. I own around seven or so more Soul Blades, with some weapons nearing their quality lying in my various vaults even now. You did not detect them, because I willed that not to be. I need you to understand this, Penny. You have power. You have might. But you are not invincible. My Soul Blade, if it struck you, would not cutely separate Nilnacrawla or Cardinality from you. Nor would your speeding space entity be able to block this blade with his flesh. If this cut you, it would release unending agony upon you before you exploded in a burst of burnt gore."
Penny sighed. "There is no need to threaten me. Allies do not threaten each other."
"But you do not see me as an ally. You see me as your means to get through the Judgment. You believe I see you as nothing more but a linear singularity maker, and perhaps a passing curiosity I'm backing on a whim. You neglect to imagine that there might be firmer reasons why I back you, and why more Elders are getting drawn into this conflict. You believe I am comfortable with showing you my more pragmatic and ruthless sides because I am comfortable with the fact that you cannot harm me. That you would not dare to do so, when you need my assistance so badly. That I might even be aiming to normalize my 'new' self with you."
"That is hardly my belief alone."
"Is it now."
Kashaunta grinned. There was no warmth in her gaze.
"Nilnacrawla," Kashaunta said. "Cardinality. Exile. Come out and show yourselves. You are being rude as guests."
Exile detached from Penny's head. He grew into the shifting array of fractals and shapes she was more familiar with. What had once grated on her eyes did so no longer. Kashaunta stared at the speeding space entity for ten seconds, then looked back up at Penny.
"He will not work on us. I will cover his form with holograms if he walks through my ship out of courtesy for my workers and crew, if he cannot."
"I am capable, Queen Kashaunta."
"You are quite knowledgable, aren't you?" Kashaunta mused, looking at him hungrily. "Oh, how I wonder what secrets you have in your head. How many of ours do you know?"
"I will not be taken as a hostage," Exile said.
"You will not because I decide not to," Kashaunta said. "Formally, our species are still at war. There is no treaty."
"The Sp'rkial'nova no longer exist."
"Yes, they do," Kashaunta said. "The name was discontinued for use regarding the lesser specimens we created. But I can assure you, Exile, if you wish to go by that name here, that we still do exist. I am a Sp'rkial'nova in the flesh. In the blood. In the mind. In the soul."
"Say what you will, Sprilnav. It changes nothing."
"On that I agree. Though our views on how things are may differ, and yours is wrong, your opinion is not valuable enough to matter."
She turned to Penny. She would have defended Exile, but he gave her a simple shake of his head area.
Nilnacrawla formed out of psychic energy in front of Penny. Cardi did the same beside her. Kashaunta tapped a claw on the ground. Tables and chairs appeared. A chef brought in food that looked passable and a few decent attempts at human cuisine.
"We do not have to eat, though I would expect that all of you at least sit at the table. We will discuss our grievances, and how to solve them before we proceed with the future. We shall first go to the matter of the Alliance. Penny, many in their number wish to establish contact with you. Do you agree to this? If so, I will add their communicator numbers to the translation program I have reserved for your personal use, in case your own device needs another sudden replacement."
"I agree."
"Good. A first step of diplomacy, I would say. Agreement. Now, Nilnacrawla, you look like you have something to say to me. What is it?"
"Free Meridia."
"Meridia was detonated by planet cracker during the 139th Sector 9 Border War. I am sorry more could not be done."
A cold draft of air rushed out of Nilnacrawla's nose. He glared at her. "You let them die."
"I did not. A Grand Fleet was defending that star system, and three came to lay siege. I am many things. A tactician, a queen, an Elder. But I am not a god. I cannot perform miracles. I evacuated 30 billion people from that world and its surrounding stations before the planet crackers hit it. 4 trillion more souls died in that blast. The best I can do is to offer an apology."
"That will never be enough for what you did. If you had never established your nation, they would still be alive."
"They would be slaves. Chattel slaves, not that cute little 'wage slavery' concept privileged people throw around. Perhaps I should remind you just how much darker that reality would have been for your female descendents, specifically. I am a brutal warlord, a dictator with an iron fist. But my claws do not squeeze nearly as tightly as I could. Metrics say that I could extract at least 370% more profit from my people if I simply enslaved them. But despite the shock this may bring to you all, I do have principles. The Autonomous Peoples' Stars are my people. My nation. My empire, if you think I'm imperialist. But I protect them as best I can."
Nilnacrawla's cold anger didn't lessen. Penny placed a calming hand on his front left thigh. He blinked. He let out a long, pained sigh. And he bowed his head to her. Not to Kashaunta, but to Penny.
"There is no need to be cruel."
"My language was accurate, Penny. He is a strong Elder. Everlasting knows he's stronger than most of these fools. Nilnacrawla was and is a hero of the Source war. I respect him enough not to mince words, or to give platitudes. Coddling is for babies. Nilnacrawla is far more mature."
Kashaunta turned to Cardi. "You have been remarkably silent in this, concept."
"I have."
"A wonderfully succinct statement. Perhaps you can shorten it further. But nevertheless, you and I will be working together with Penny much more in the near future. Rest assured, if you refuse to become more independent, you will be nothing more than a crutch for her to rely on before leaving her to fall when you are ripped away."
"When, Elder? I would like to think your protection is sufficient."
"I am sure the truth is quite the opposite, dear. I will now get to the point. Penny needs to move faster, and needs to break out of her shell. She needs to be pushed to do more. She has signed a binding treaty, which shows she is capable of more than barbarian aliens, as some Elders would call her. You, Cardinality, will help her be a high achiever. To do this, you need to learn more about your own history.
That is the theme of the year, after all. History. My history, Penny's history, Sprilnav history, and even Gaia's history, it would seem."
"Gaia? What do they have to do with all of this?" Penny asked.
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that."
"Excuse me? You don't get to decide that, Kashaunta. You will tell me. I refuse to be coddled, like you say. I demand the respect I am owed."
"You forget yourself, Penny."
"I remember myself, actually. I am all I need to be. I can become all I need if I must. You can hold your backing against me all you want, but you won't withdraw it. As you said, more binds you and I than mere money and ideology."
"And if you're wrong?"
"Then I've doomed my species and my nation to war, and this planet to the full power of my wrath."
"Wrath, Penny. Wrath. The Sprilnav have many words for anger, rage, hatred. There is the desire for vengeance, in varying degrees. There is that for justice, which does differ. And that for belonging. I know you believe you are standing up to me as a way to assert your own authority in this relationship of ours. You believe I see you as inferior, and will pull back my help when it is profitable for me. I will not offer you the consequences of what your words could mean.
You already know them, and that argument is as stale as your view on us Elders. I will say this once, Penny. You are the Champion of Humanity. The apex predator of your planet, the only one mostly in charge of an Alliance that does more than merely dream of overthrowing us. It is easy for me to say you are not a threat, though I do not ignore the threat you and your nation are trying to become. Gaia will be a part of your movement, but even my information is not entirely complete. I will not mislead you by claiming I know Gaia's link to this, just that there likely is one.
And I am not unreasonably petty. I am willing to put all our animosity behind us and start anew. Even if you are not willing to do the same, I am willing to make this work for us. You have more people to care for than just the Alliance, now. Do not forget them."
"A lot of words that mean nothing."
"Because you heard, but did not listen. Perhaps it will be easier this way, Penny. I want you to win."
"Explain."
"You wish to overthrow the current Sprilnav led order of the galaxy. Your path to that will likely be through mass slave revolt. A viable strategy that I could spread far beyond just this planet. And I actually agree with you. This Judgment, this utter insanity around the Alliance and your species has shown me the truth. The Elders as a class and a species cannot be trusted to rule any longer. We need new leaders. Better leaders."
"And yourself?"
"As the hypocrite that I am, and the power-hungry ruler of the Sprilnav, I would obviously exclude myself from that number. Let's be realistic. The Sprilnav will never accept a non-Elder ruler. If you wish to see what our insurgencies would be like, imagine the 2090s Struggles of Asia. Expand that to billions of planets, large and small. Countless ships and space stations. We have more collective ships than you have people. And as your military planners know, there is no such thing as an unarmed ship. Without us, without me, your plans are stillborn. Your galactic Alliance or whatever you make will fall to pieces without proper counseling. In essence, my offer to you, and you alone, is this. The galaxy, for the Sprilnav."
"Who backs your offer, with the power to give it?"
Progenitors Lecalicus and Nova appeared in the room.
"I back Kashaunta," Lecalicus wheezed.
"I observe her offer, and wish it a proper outcome," Nova said.
"Thank you, esteemed Progenitors," Kashaunta said, standing just to bow to them. Penny stared at Nova, balling her fists.
"There will be time for battle later," he said. "But not now. Hear out her request. She does not make it lightly."
The Progenitors disappeared.
"If I accept your offer, it will be on a written record."
"No. It will not be, because if that record is written, my nation will be facing war on all sides. A better idea would be for us to keep this under wraps."
"Perfect for betrayal," Nilnacrawla muttered.
"It would be, yes. But consider the second part of this situation, Nilncrawla. If word of this galactic offer, not just the Pact, were to get out, which is why two Progenitors who know the price of interference were called here, it would mean the deaths of Penny and all her kind. Or do you forget what rapidly approaches us?"
Nilnacrawla frowned. "I did. I apologize, Penny."
Kashaunta spoke up again.
"Penny. You believe I will betray you. So I make an offer of collateral. An offer so unbelievably sacred for us Elders that many would recoil at the mere thought of it. Now that you have signed a backed treaty, you are fully qualified."
Kashaunta grabbed her Soul Blade and presented it to Penny.
"What does this mean?"
"Nilnacrawla, tell her," Kashaunta said. "She will trust your mouth more than mine."
"Bonded Soul Blades are priceless artifacts," Nilnacrawla said. "To offer one to another is the ultimate gesture of trust and respect among many martial Sprilnav cultures. It can also allow for a mind bridge, a soul pact, or a proposal for marriage between two great houses, martial families, or Elders of great wealth and power. To offer this to a human... to anyone... is an ultimate sign of backing, and one of trust.
It is a sacrosanct honor, the absolute agreement of speaking truth and respect. The words I can use in any human language are insufficient to describe the weight of this honor. This gesture is one of absolute truth. Family lines with hatred going back millions of years would never dare to violate this honor."
"Only one Elder in history did so, one who once led a group known as the Stannic Resistance. He does so no longer. Penny Balica, Champion of Humanity... if there is nothing else I can give you to prove that I do really back you, there is this."
"...Just how low are my chances in the Judgment for you to resort to this?" Penny asked.
"They are not zero, but your battle with be incredibly difficult even with this boon of mine. The future of the galaxy, I now realize, hinges on the outcome of this. If we do not have enough trust, they will sniff it out, and we will fail."
So she had no choice. But as Nilncrawla continued to explain in her mind, Kashaunta was getting the worse side of the deal. Which meant she was throwing her backing behind Penny for real, beyond all reproach and retraction. Kashaunta, the most powerful Elder in the galaxy.
"And if I reject this gift, or your reasons for it?"
"Circumstances would demand that I kill you and then myself using this blade as a way to cut apart the dishonor, before my remains are dumped into a black hole to be forgotten forever. I would not do this."
"A dark and archaic custom," Penny said. She would have said more, but she looked at Nilnacrawla's face. He was clearly deeply uncomfortable. Her five words had shaken him more than anything she'd ever said to him before.
"You do not understand," Nilnacrawla said. "This is not something to joke or lie about. With a Soul Blade Pact in play, all else must cease. Right now, there is you, and there is her. Accept or decline. The choice, your only choice, is yours."
"How will this look to the Elders in the court? To the Sprilnav, and the people who back me?"
She could see how it would be a boon and a curse.
"You, and I," Kashaunta said. "The whole of the universe between us right now is you and I. No others exist until this one act is done. There will be trust or there will be death. No in between. No middle ground. The nature of this bond will be a Pact of Blades."
Conceptual energy swirled between them. Penny's natural translation, as part of the hivemind, failed for the first time ever. Her communicator likewise did not translate the words Kashaunta spoke.
"Eis nama kaste Penny Balica, sun lanci Dorima Kashaunta. Ko'ri, lanci nupa bes na Dorima'Pecunyanova. Sp'rkial'nova. Sun. Homo Sapiens."
The air grew thick with tension. It was not just emotional, either. Psychic and conceptual energy gathered. The mindscape started to distort as more and more eyes began to view Kashaunta and Penny. But all of them were Sprilnav eyes. All of them were Progenitors. Nova's appeared brightest and largest, nearly six times the size of the next largest pair. They stared at her, sending psychic and conceptual energy down upon her in waves that forced her and Kashaunta to kneel to the ground.
"I apologize for my earlier words," Penny said. "I should not have denigrated this."
Penny stood for an hour, deeply contemplating the Pact. If it was as Nilnacrawla was describing to her, it was a promise that Kashaunta would not break. If she was offering it at all, especially to Penny, it meant she had a level of trust in Penny's capability far above what Penny had previously thought. Apparently, there were even higher agreements than this that were possible, with this Pact being the lowest level of bond and considered unbreakable with the enforcement of consequences coming from the Progenitors themselves.
She thought of her place in Justicar and the wider universe. Hours passed like water. And then, by the end of it, after nearly 19 hours, Penny finally had decided. She gave a short nod to Kashaunta, who had been kneeling to Nova all this time.
Kashaunta gestured at the sword. "Tol, nopa shikai."
Nilnacrawla fed her a few suggestions on what she would need to say.
"I come to this Pact seeking peace, justice, and hope," Penny said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery."
Nilnacrawla translated Kashaunta's next words to her.
"I come to this seeking trust, understanding, respect, and peace," Kashaunta said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery. I make this Pact before the gods, those who equal them, and those who surpass them. I bind them to an oath of silence regarding this event, until I directly instruct them otherwise, in a state of a sound mind, body, and soul. Here, we shall step into a future that needs both of us, casting aside that which is unimportant to focus on the ultimate goals we have. I offer my Blade to Penny Balica, of species Homo Sapiens. In this way, we forge a new future, and walk a new path. I accept the Pact."
"I accept the Pact."
Nova and a hundred Progenitors descended. Nova grew larger, and Kashaunta knelt to him. Penny remained standing. His sharp teeth glittered in the light. He pressed his claws to Penny's chest, and to Kashaunta's chest.
"The Pact of Blades is made before the Progenitors. We agree to your vow of silence. The penalty of breaking it will be dismemberment and disposal into a black hole. Penny Balica, Engineer Kashaunta. To break this Pact without mutual agreement is to call down our collective wrath upon yourselves. You both have agreed, and are of sound mind, body, and soul. The Pact is forged. By sword, by word, by action. I, Nova, Everlasting, Lord of the Progenitors, King of all Sp'rkial'nova, Heir to the Mantle of Power, Heir to Narvravarana, Progenitor, Elder, and Sprilnav, declare the deed done, etched in time, space, and Reality."
They winked out of existence one by one, leaving Penny and Kashaunta alone, to ponder the future. Penny's thoughts turned to the Judgment, and her confidence she could win it began to waver. How much worse was this Judgment going to be than before?
Penny stared at Kashaunta's Soul Blade. With careful fingers, she took it. Kashaunta sat up, satisfied.
"Now we can begin. I shall compile all the news about you I can find, and we shall see how to address the questions the High Judges will ask. Now that you trust me, I cannot betray you."

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

I'm 20 years old in college home for the summer, and I can't do this.
I have first-gen, incredibly strict Indian parents. My high school experience with them was awful. Think of all the cliches--needed to be the best academically (ended up being valedictorian of my school and getting a full tuition scholarship), no freedom at all (curfew was 8pm, no leaving the house more than 2x a week even if it was a club, they didn't think clubs or extracurriculars were important), no driving (even though I got my license at 17), physical and mental abuse, threats, etc etc. To make matters worse, I ended up losing all my friends my senior year. The only person that stuck with me was my boyfriend (secret, of course), and we're still together (4 years now).
College was the best experience for me. I made all new friends (except they all live 2+ hours away from my home sadly) and my bf and I are making long distance work. Coming home last summer was fine because I was only there for a month because I got accepted to this research program which I begged them to let me go to, and they did.
This summer, it has only been 1.5 weeks and I'm losing it. My bf just came back and I always make an excuse to see him, that I'm seeing my old "friends" and they don't question it too much but my curfew is still 9 PM. I came home last night at 9:35 PM and I got yelled at, slapped twice, and screamed at about how I have been spending too much money. I literally worked 2 jobs in college last year and have a virtual summer internship. This is MY money. I'm still not allowed to drive, despite having had my license for 3 years now. When I am allowed to drive, it's only like 3 select locations (all no highway) and I have to use our small, crappy car. I need to do shadowing this summer because I'm a pre-dental student, but I'm not allowed to literally drive to do my shadowing hours. My mom takes the small car to work (she refuses to drive anything else) and my dad works from home so we have the big car completely free but I'm just not allowed to drive it at all.
These are just the recent things but there's so many things that I can't do. I've missed out on trips with my friends, concerts with them, etc. My friends (like a group of 15 people are going) recently invited me to this concert in one of my friend's hometowns 2 hours away and offered me a place to sleep but ofc I can't go! I even tried asking and reasoned out how I would get there via public transit and I just got laughed at. It's all my money, too.
The worst part is, even though I've had the best college experience (because they go to bed at 9-10 PM they don't check my location that late, so I've been able to party and finally have that taste of a normal life) and met the most amazing people, none of them can understand this at all. Most of my friends are Indian/Asian and I know a lot of people but everyone I'm close to just doesn't have this problem. I feel bad ranting to them because they don't know what to say or do. Even when they do try, it's things like "try to sneak out" (cameras, motion detectors, etc) or "better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission" like they don't fundamentally understand how bad it could get if I did that.
I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do. I don't know when I can go out with my bf next. I even have to ask permission to go on a walk/run around our neighborhood and need to be back my dinner and can't stay longer than 1 hour on the dot (dinner is at 7:45 PM).
I don't know what to do. I can't get a job because first of all, even though they complain about money to me all the time, they wouldn't let me get a job because it's too much freedom and driving. Secondly, I'm studying for the DAT (Dental Admission Test) this summer and I can barely even concentrate at home because the second it turns 3 PM the TV starts blasting and they're always yelling at each other. I tried to ask if I can go to the library to study and focus, but again they yelled at me about the car thing and then how it would be a waste of gas money and how I can study at home and how I should be waking up at 6-7 AM to study if the house gets loud around 3 PM.
I hope someone on here can understand, even partly, my frustration. I wonder oftentimes what I have done wrong to make them treat me like this. I have talked to them about all of this countless times, and I am currently ignoring them both (only saying yes/no) while also trying to do everything "perfectly" so they don't have anything to yell at me about because they're mad about me coming home at 9:35.
Please help. I just don't want to live like this anymore. I fear this will be my forever.
If I get into my state dental school, my dad said he would want me to commute because it's cheaper but I would be living at home. I would end myself probably. I can't even think about that right now.

Super weird situation- I am a hospital administrator and I am partnered with a physician to run my department and there have been a lot of personality conflicts. The first physician in the role (let’s say Dr. Z) tried to have me fired and bullied and harassed me relentlessly- the physicians are not hospital employees FYI, they are contractors. She stepped down when her bosses sided with me and I haven’t had to deal with her much. Her replacement (Dr. A) was much easier to work with, initially.
The project I was managing was a regulatory visit to maintain one of our designations and it was a very big deal. The department was in shambles when I took the job and the role had been vacant for almost 2 years so it was a lot of work to get ready and as the survey got closer, tensions got very high. Dr Z was mentoring Dr. A so our personality conflicts came to the surface.
The morning of the survey, the surveyors noted a missing document that was essential to maintaining our credential so it was very stressful trying to get it on the fly. While trying to track down why we didn’t have it, there was a lot of finger pointing and blame that was unnecessary as well as negative behavior (telling the team we are screwed, going to fail, etc.)
At the end of the first day as we are still working on the document, I get a call from Dr. Z saying I am incompetent and a terrible leader and that she threw away her career because of me- the story she tells everyone else is that she stepped down to spend k more time with her kids. whatever, she had done that before and i was used to it.
the next morning i encounter her and she dresses me down on front of a bunch of people- pointing her finger in my face and saying that she is going to drag me into the CEOs office and force me to take all the blame for the document (we finished it the night before so the issue was solved). it was awful energy for the team to deal with. i just walked away when she was done yelling.
fast forward to the exit interview and we passed with flying colors. Dr. Z thanks and identifies every team member except for me and then gives all the credit to a secretary who is her pet. the application alone was 90 pages and completed almost entirely by me.
She then takes off her shoes (she is Muslim so this matters). She had been wearing 4 inch stilettos with metal spike heels. And proceeds to throw them at me. We were across the room from each other so she had to really throw them to get them to land behind me. I didn’t even notice she had done that until I felt the shoe wiz by my face. I was stunned and went to my office and then just left because I was scared.
I called my boss who was horrified. He asked me to file a workplace violence report. HR met with me today and shared the results of their investigation. They found they couldn’t substantiate that the interactions were hostile or that she intended to hurt me. So they weren’t going to do anything about it.
I’m stunned. I have told this story to multiple people and they are always stunned that a professional person would behave that way. And if one of those shoes had hit my face I would have been badly injured. I am feeling so sad and angry that I have to keep working with this person and that there will be no consequences for their actions.
I consulted an attorney and he said what she did was assault. And he immediately recognized the cultural significance of a Muslim person throwing their shoes at someone (remember George bush?)
TL:DR- I got metal stilettos thrown at me during a meeting at work and HR says it’s not workplace violence.
What should I do? I feel embarrassed but I also feel like I am not being protected and they are unwilling to control bad behavior.