Past away
HTGAWM on Reddit
2014.05.14 01:17 cookieguyster HTGAWM on Reddit
The place for How to Get Away with Murder related discussion with pictures, videos, articles, and anything that deals with the show. The show had 6 seasons that aired from September of 2014 to May of 2020.
2012.04.21 22:38 Apaz OldSchoolCool: History's cool kids, looking fantastic
/OldSchoolCool **History's cool kids, looking fantastic!** A pictorial and video celebration of history's coolest kids, everything from beatniks to bikers, mods to rude boys, hippies to ravers. And everything in between. If you've found a photo, or a photo essay, of people from the past looking fantastic, here's the place to share it.
2011.10.18 23:25 cjb6714001 Showerthoughts
A subreddit for sharing those miniature epiphanies you have that highlight the oddities within the familiar.
2024.05.16 01:25 Vegetable_Drummer_36 Chronic uti?
I’m in so much pain whenever i pee for the past 2 years, i’ve seen a doctor and been prescribed Fosfomycin and Amoxicillin before and neither have worked.
Drinking water eases the symptoms but if i’m not chugging water continuously the symptoms come back, i can’t even have sex as it burns too badly. I’ve tried drinking cranberry juice too but didn’t work, my doctor doesn’t have any appointments for a few months now so i don’t know what to do. I am also a diabetic so i’m more prone to getting them, any tips on how i can make it go away? 😓
submitted by Vegetable_Drummer_36 to Healthyhooha [link] [comments]
Drinking water eases the symptoms but if i’m not chugging water continuously the symptoms come back, i can’t even have sex as it burns too badly. I’ve tried drinking cranberry juice too but didn’t work, my doctor doesn’t have any appointments for a few months now so i don’t know what to do. I am also a diabetic so i’m more prone to getting them, any tips on how i can make it go away? 😓
2024.05.16 01:23 otrippinz Desktop Capture Method "DXGI Desktop Duplication" black screening
I use OBS to save gaming clips via the replay buffer feature, but every now and then I have this issue where the DXGI Desktop Duplication capture method just black screens and captures nothing. I hear all the audio but none of the visuals.
Sometimes I see a stuck frame and simply clicking away from the Display Capture scene and back on it kicks it back into gear again, but other times it just stays black and captures nothing.
Is there a fix? I wouldn't mind using the "Windows 10 (1903 and up)" capture method as it tends to be more reliable, but it routinely gives me these permanent yellow borders around my screen, which are way too annoying to bear.
PS in the distant past I have performed some gaming tweaks on my base Win11 install to optimise performance in modern games like Apex Legends, but sadly I don't remember exactly which regedit/windows tweaks I did, so I'm not sure whether this affected anything at all given that I started using OBS after all that anyway.
PSS no, I am not willing to reinstall Windows from scratch. I would much rather identify the issue and fix it than go the nuclear option.
submitted by otrippinz to obs [link] [comments]
Sometimes I see a stuck frame and simply clicking away from the Display Capture scene and back on it kicks it back into gear again, but other times it just stays black and captures nothing.
Is there a fix? I wouldn't mind using the "Windows 10 (1903 and up)" capture method as it tends to be more reliable, but it routinely gives me these permanent yellow borders around my screen, which are way too annoying to bear.
PS in the distant past I have performed some gaming tweaks on my base Win11 install to optimise performance in modern games like Apex Legends, but sadly I don't remember exactly which regedit/windows tweaks I did, so I'm not sure whether this affected anything at all given that I started using OBS after all that anyway.
PSS no, I am not willing to reinstall Windows from scratch. I would much rather identify the issue and fix it than go the nuclear option.
2024.05.16 01:21 Airtightspoon Going back to UV after switching to latex?
Prefacing this by saying that I've only been working in commercial printing for about 2 years and started off with zero experience related to the field, so everything I know I've learned on the job or from doing research on my own, so if I'm mistaken about some general things that's why.
I'm the primary operator for our company's flatbed printer, when I first started working there they used was a UV printer (an HP Scitex of some sort, I'm not sure what the exact model was. It was an older one, it couldn't do white ink, couldn't do roll-to-roll, idr what the belt width was but I know it was less than 98 inches because a big deal was made of how our new one was 98 inches), about six months into my employment we upgraded to an HP latex R2000, and have been using that for the past year and a half or so. Initially it felt like a huge upgrade, and things were going great. Recently however, we've had some frustrations with the R2000. Namely we just did a job for IBM, and we had a ton of issues getting the color they wanted, we've also had issues with banding on certain colors (one of the big selling points of this printer for our boss was that he was told there would be no banding), and I have not been able to come up with a solution, I've tried check and cleans, I've tried hard cleanings, I've swapped printheads, I've re-aligned the printheads, nothing eliminates the banding except running at super high pass counts (and even then I can still see banding depending on the color, a client probably wouldn't notice it, but my boss and I can, and my boss is a bit of a perfectionist), which obviously slows down production.
In addition to the frustrations with the latex, my boss also has plans with the company we use for installs to start producing wallpaper, so we were going to be getting a new printer to do that anyway, and with the recent frustrations my boss is now thinking about replacing the R2000 with one that can handle wallpaper and our general needs, rather than getting a new printer in addition to the R2000. I asked my boss about what kind of printer he was looking at, he didn't give me a name, but he mentioned it's a UV printer, it's got magnets in it or something, and I recall him saying a little bit ago he wanted to move away from HP, so I think it might not be an HP printer. All that to say, in my limited time in the business so far I've mostly heard latex be talked about as if it were an upgrade to UV, so moving back seems strange. Am I mistaken? And does anyone have any experience switching from UV to latex then back to UV, and how did that work out for you guys?
TLDR - Boss wants to move back to a UV printer after switching from a UV to a latex one about a year ago due to frustrations with the latex printer and a desire to start producing wallpaper, does anyone have any experience doing this and how did it go?
submitted by Airtightspoon to CommercialPrinting [link] [comments]
I'm the primary operator for our company's flatbed printer, when I first started working there they used was a UV printer (an HP Scitex of some sort, I'm not sure what the exact model was. It was an older one, it couldn't do white ink, couldn't do roll-to-roll, idr what the belt width was but I know it was less than 98 inches because a big deal was made of how our new one was 98 inches), about six months into my employment we upgraded to an HP latex R2000, and have been using that for the past year and a half or so. Initially it felt like a huge upgrade, and things were going great. Recently however, we've had some frustrations with the R2000. Namely we just did a job for IBM, and we had a ton of issues getting the color they wanted, we've also had issues with banding on certain colors (one of the big selling points of this printer for our boss was that he was told there would be no banding), and I have not been able to come up with a solution, I've tried check and cleans, I've tried hard cleanings, I've swapped printheads, I've re-aligned the printheads, nothing eliminates the banding except running at super high pass counts (and even then I can still see banding depending on the color, a client probably wouldn't notice it, but my boss and I can, and my boss is a bit of a perfectionist), which obviously slows down production.
In addition to the frustrations with the latex, my boss also has plans with the company we use for installs to start producing wallpaper, so we were going to be getting a new printer to do that anyway, and with the recent frustrations my boss is now thinking about replacing the R2000 with one that can handle wallpaper and our general needs, rather than getting a new printer in addition to the R2000. I asked my boss about what kind of printer he was looking at, he didn't give me a name, but he mentioned it's a UV printer, it's got magnets in it or something, and I recall him saying a little bit ago he wanted to move away from HP, so I think it might not be an HP printer. All that to say, in my limited time in the business so far I've mostly heard latex be talked about as if it were an upgrade to UV, so moving back seems strange. Am I mistaken? And does anyone have any experience switching from UV to latex then back to UV, and how did that work out for you guys?
TLDR - Boss wants to move back to a UV printer after switching from a UV to a latex one about a year ago due to frustrations with the latex printer and a desire to start producing wallpaper, does anyone have any experience doing this and how did it go?
2024.05.16 01:21 Neat_Focus_5034 Is giving space a good idea? 24M, 21F
I (24M) have been talking to this girl (21F) for about a month. She’s liked me since January, and I was in a relationship then, but that has since ended. I’ve probably had feelings for her for about a month only. We worked together, then she quit her job, and we started talking again about a month after she left the company. I asked her out last week to see if we could rekindle our connection we had at work and find out if there is any chemistry between us in public. This past Sunday, she told me I looked amazing and so handsome, and we had a 40 min call, which was great. Easy convo, nothing controversial or stressful at all. Monday, she left to see a family member a few hrs away, and I knew she hadn’t seen him since February so I wanted to just give her time to be with her family and not have to worry about talking/texting, and I just had faith that she would return and we would be able to pickup where things left off. Now my gut is telling me that was the wrong idea since we’ve only sent about 8-10 texts since Monday morning, and I think all of those came yesterday (Tuesday). I just want her to have quality family time since we both value that, and I’m hoping if we do get a chance to talk, I can make sure she knows that. I would like to think she wouldn’t just drop it all after basically no communication, but when I do send an occasional text, it gets opened and not replied to (she has read receipts on). I guess we’ll see.
TLDR: all communication with a girl has gone basically dead, and I’m wondering if giving her space while she’s around family is causing that silence or if she’s not interested anymore.
submitted by Neat_Focus_5034 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
TLDR: all communication with a girl has gone basically dead, and I’m wondering if giving her space while she’s around family is causing that silence or if she’s not interested anymore.
2024.05.16 01:20 gender_error20 Is it bad that I miss her? (Vent, dont read while little!!)
Last night and the day before that, my ex-girlfriend, who was also my mommy, sent me a bunch of texts and called my phone saying that she's doing better and apparently wants to "re-do our previous relationship". But, she has said hurtful things to me and people I know. During a video game match I was having with me, her and one of my friends,
she had called my friend the r-slur and completely went nuts on him because he joked about something that was embarrassing to me, even though I had already told her that I would handle the situation that happened and talk to him just because I personally know him better and he said that she scares him, she still crossed that line.
Also, there was a time in which she sexualized me for being hyper-sexual while I was regressing or about to regress. she would ask creepy shit like if I was a "horny baby" or making sex related noises in my ears and just being very sexual with me whilst knowing i was regressed, not to mention that my regression ages are 0 to 2 years old and her doing that is very fucked up.
Although, I think it might just be little me missing her and wanting to share things I brought for myself while she was away. I'm not sure... but I know big me doesn't really miss her like that. Anyway, she is now harassing and spam calling/texting in an attempt to get back with me, Little me wants her very badly even though I know that people are telling me I shouldn't even go back to her because I've never gone back to past ex's in my life after a breakup. I don't even know what the hell to do anymore at this point.
submitted by gender_error20 to ageregression [link] [comments]
she had called my friend the r-slur and completely went nuts on him because he joked about something that was embarrassing to me, even though I had already told her that I would handle the situation that happened and talk to him just because I personally know him better and he said that she scares him, she still crossed that line.
Also, there was a time in which she sexualized me for being hyper-sexual while I was regressing or about to regress. she would ask creepy shit like if I was a "horny baby" or making sex related noises in my ears and just being very sexual with me whilst knowing i was regressed, not to mention that my regression ages are 0 to 2 years old and her doing that is very fucked up.
Although, I think it might just be little me missing her and wanting to share things I brought for myself while she was away. I'm not sure... but I know big me doesn't really miss her like that. Anyway, she is now harassing and spam calling/texting in an attempt to get back with me, Little me wants her very badly even though I know that people are telling me I shouldn't even go back to her because I've never gone back to past ex's in my life after a breakup. I don't even know what the hell to do anymore at this point.
2024.05.16 01:19 headofaneye Is it cheating?
Hey so a lil bit context...me and my bf have been dating for more than a year and a half now and we are very much inlove. when we were about a lil more than 10 months together we had a month or two that we fought a lot and we both felt unheard by each other so the problem grew bigger by the day, at some point he asked me to lose weight even tho my weight is not at all high and considered normal (it's something I've been struggling with cuz like insecurety and stuff) anyways he right away apologized and as soon as the words entered his mouth he apolegized and assured me he dont really thinks that. Since then we solved our problems (nothing realeted to weight thing) and we've really done some progress and don't fight anymore as much cus we learned to listen to one another. an hour ago today the topic poped up (we try to be as open as we can with each other to improve our relationship) and I asked why did he said that back then? He confessed that in that time because we were fighting a lot it was hard for him to think about me and my body in a sexually way and started to look a bit at girls, not flirting, not even talking but just staring and compering my body to theirs, I want to make clear that cheating was always a deal breaker because he was cheated on in the past and this is the last thing he would do and that he never talked or intended to, with any girls and said that if they would, he would immediately reject them but him telling me to lose weight came from the comperision... He said that it never happened before or after that one time and we do really inlove and he is nothing but the best to me and always was and we are dating for marriage....what should I think or do? Is it cheating? Even tho it's not physical and even tho he told me so we could be more open, I still feel a bit betrayed...
submitted by headofaneye to okopshow [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 01:17 woohooguy Thank you Carvana - Bridgecrest - SilverRock (5 year review)
I wanted to share my experience with the entire Carvana package now that our car is paid off and all monetary transactions with them are over.
This will get long, as it started in 2019.
We bought our 17' Rogue from Carvana in April of 2019. I was researching vehicles for close to 3 months before finally pulling the trigger on this particular model. It was about 34k miles, 2.5 years old, located in Illinois. I liked the geographic area for chances the vehicle hadn't seen a lot of snow for the first 2 years of it life as Carfax activity showed it was most likely in the southern part of the state.
I also chose this specific Rogue as the VIN indicated the vehicle was made in South Korea, as opposed to Tennessee. The difference is all Rogues made in South Korea received engines and CVT's from Japan, while US made models had engines from Japan or US, and CVT's from Mexico which was a no go for me. I will also go one more and state Korean labor for assembly is far more disciplined than what you find in the US and especially mexico. Fun fact for those still paying attention - The Nissan Rogue's that have the flat Nissan logo on the grille behind smoked plastic were made in South Korea. They stopped production there in early 2020.
What interested me in Carvana was-
After the soft credit pull and a single pay stub, Carvana pre-approved me for any car up to 90k, with zero money down. I laughed. Hard. I had decent credit but wasnt going to bury myself.
After I settled down to a few models, I worked through the trade-in portion of the site, and found it was real easy to get a quote to trade in our 2005 Escape XLT which was a great car, but in Ford fashion the frame was rotting away. I had a fair offer for the trade in, described it honestly.
We also opted for the SilverRock warranty. Nissan, CVT, etc.
The big sale!
After watching how quickly some cars came and went early on, I got everything I needed for the trade in. Scan of the title, picture of the milage, car pictures. We were putting 2k down on the car, so the cash was waiting in my account, ready for transfer or cashier check if we were going to go with Carvana final loan offer.
The day I pulled the trigger on our Rogue, the entire process took all of 20 minutes. I was amazed, and honestly thought at the time "This should be illegal for how easy that was".
The offer for Carvana finance was within a couple tenths of my credit union, so I opted to simplify the process and go with them. Carvana performed a hard pull on my credit, confirmed the terms, and required confirmation from my bank that the money for deposit was in my account. I provided my bank login credentials and the process was done in minutes.
I had to provide a copy of my license and items related to the trade in, and it was done, in literally 20 minutes. I wondered if I was making a mistake..
It was an amazing deal, every dealer in the area was selling the same model for well over 2k of what we paid, so the SilverRock warranty was pretty much free after the additional 500 discount off the final price of the car.
Delivery - Trade in!
It was delayed. Twice. Pretty disappointing. Some pretty lame excuses. Honestly I should have expected a reasonable delivery date as the I knew the car I bought was 1500 miles away, but Carvana makes unrealistic delivery promises and is my biggest gripe regarding them.
When delivery day finally came, the Rogue was everything I had hoped it would be. While on the delivery truck I asked to inspect the undercarriage, and the driver was super friendly and allowed me to take my time. I looked it all over, looking for rust, oil leaks, you name it and I found nothing nothing, including nothing suspect like it had been cleaned. It was a 2-ish year old car with light dirt and surface rust where you would expect.
Once the Rogue was unloaded I was free to look it over with a fine comb, pop the hood, check the fluids, look for dents and dings, paint issues, interior issues, you name it. I found nothing major, just some minor things like paint polish slag in small corners and what not. Interior was very clean and detailed.
While I was looking over the Rogue, the delivery driver was loading the trade-in. He took some pictures, verified the mileage, checked the "check engine" light was off and started loading it on his truck.
I live in Massachusetts with very strict license and registration requirements. A few days before the delivery, someone from the Danvers site reached out to me about the registration details. I was transferring the plates from the trade in and they were finalizing the paperwork. I was provided the new registration, and the delivery driver had the new registration in hand so we could just put the plates on the Rogue and be ready to roll.
I took the Rogue for a 20 minute test drive, signed off on the purchase and trade. Driver headed off with the trade in and that was it. Carvana never called or questioned what they gave me for the trade.
Post delivery!
The very next day I brought the Rogue to work, I work in transportation/logistics and my site has ASE mechanics that I know very well. I asked him to go over the Rogue with the white glove and let me know if they think anything is wrong, as I have 6 days to return the car. They did so and they didnt find anything, just amazed at how clean the undercarriage, engine, and fluids were.
If I didn't have access to an ASE certified mechanic in this situation that I really trusted, I would have paid for a purchase inspection from a Nissan dealer. I did pay for the trusted inspection, just not in dollars lol.
After the personal vehicle inspection, my wife and I took off for a long weekend road trip roaming the White mountains of New Hampshire. Three days across many miles that easily blew out the initial vehicle 7 day warranty mileage. The Rogue was amazing through the mountains getting a ridiculous 30mpg through the entire trip. I wasn't concerned as people I trust cleared the car, and I also had the SilverRock warranty to cover the rest..
Speaking of warranty..
SilverRock!
The first, and pretty much only issue with the Rogue, was at about 48k miles. Massachusetts has a comprehensive yearly vehicle inspection program. At about 48k miles, the Rogue failed inspection for a bad inner tie rod, passenger side. Contacted SilverRock, and they gave me the local network shop here in Massachusetts, Monro.Monro is a regional repair shop here in MA with many locations. I take the Rogue to them and they diagnose that indeed the passenger side inner tie rod has gone bad. Repair tech states he has never seen one go bad on a Nissan at the current mileage.
The service manager starts looking around for the parts, called about 5 places, then calls a Nissan dealer. The Nissan dealer informs him the inner tie rod is not available for the 17, the only way to to repair the defect is replace the entire electric steering rack which comes with the inner and outer tie rods complete.
I call SilverRock with the service manager. I provide my name and vehicle make, SilverRock knows who I am right away. SilverRock rep asks whats wrong, service manager laid it down. SilverRock rep transfers us to a manager, manager asked about a few more details and then asked the service manager of Monro to send the estimate.
I get a call from the manager of Monro the next day, he said he went back and forth with SilverRock for about 20 minutes and got the entire job covered, throwing in a free front end alignment, for 1500 dollars using a genuine Nissan OEM steering rack.
SilverRock paid everything but the 100 dollar deductible. I picked up the Rogue 2 days later, paid 100, and went back for inspection. It passed.
Anyone reading this that knows about car repair, an inner tie rod costs maybe 150 dollars OEM. The fact it wasn't available and they had to replace the entire rack was absurd, yet they did it with a new OEM rack. At the time SilverRock could have required a rack used from a salvage yard, but they didn't.
I have nothing but positive things to say about SilverRock.
Bridgecrest!!
The silent partner.
I have NEVER spoken to someone at Bridgecrest. I have never called them. They have never called me.
I have NEVER emailed Bridgecrest. They have emailed me every single month for the life of my loan, after making a payment.
They fronted me the money, and expected it back. I paid it back, as expected. On time.
5 stars, and they will return the favor on my credit now that the loan is clear.
WHY YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY
Do your homework - buying a car is a capital investment in your future that loses money. You need a car to be reliable for your job, your family, your life. You need to spend money on a regular basis to keep that car reliable, on top of your car payment.
Know your budget - Dont fall for finance traps. Only buy what you can comfortably afford, again, owning a car costs you more money than what's on the final loan payment.
Get your car inspected ASAP - Pay a dealer for a purchase inspection. Schedule it ahead of time. Inform Carvana of the issues within 3 days of delivery and ask them to pick up the car. Carvana will make the car right, as they dont want to take the car back from qualified buyers. Keep on top of them until the car is what was expected.
Why Carvana may be bad for you
You have bad credit - Better know what you are signing on for. The majority of complaints in this sub are from people that have bad credit, cant read, and cant learn from past mistakes. Thats a personal problem, not a Carvana problem.
Closing
Aside from some delays in delivery, We have had an amazing 5 year journey with Carvana and associated companies. Our Rogue is now at over 100k miles and still drives and looks like new. We perform all maintenance as required, without question.
Living in MA, the last 5 years our Rogue has taken us thousands of miles over the White Mountains of New Hampshire, all through the Mountains of Maine, and multiple trips to Canada to visit the iconic Niagara Falls.
My wife travels every day for work, and the Rogue is her daily driver putting 3k miles on the clock every 2.5 months. We change the oil every 3k miles, perform the required CVT services at the dealer, and keep the tires rotated every 8K.
The tires that came on the Rogue from Carvana were in fact new, but the kind of tires that have a 30k mile treadwear warranty. The first snowy New England day we slipped through a stop sign in light snow, the next week we replaced the tires all around with BF Goodrich Advantage TA sport tires and the Rogue has been amazing in the snow ever since.
After getting our Rogue, my coworker was so impressed he bought not 1, but 2 cars from Carvana. Bastard got both cars delivered on time, on the same day, from different parts of the country.. I was so jealous lol. His cars had some minor issues, but Carvana took car of them.
My daughter bought a Nissan as well from Carvana. It had a few front end issues, but ultimately was taken care of through constant communication with Carvana during the 7 day test drive.
Will I use Carvana again? Yes.
Will it be soon? Not really.
Our other car is a Hyundai and running strong.
Hope some of my diatribe will be useful to anyone considering Carvana as usually is all bad mouth drival posted here.
submitted by woohooguy to carvana [link] [comments]
This will get long, as it started in 2019.
We bought our 17' Rogue from Carvana in April of 2019. I was researching vehicles for close to 3 months before finally pulling the trigger on this particular model. It was about 34k miles, 2.5 years old, located in Illinois. I liked the geographic area for chances the vehicle hadn't seen a lot of snow for the first 2 years of it life as Carfax activity showed it was most likely in the southern part of the state.
I also chose this specific Rogue as the VIN indicated the vehicle was made in South Korea, as opposed to Tennessee. The difference is all Rogues made in South Korea received engines and CVT's from Japan, while US made models had engines from Japan or US, and CVT's from Mexico which was a no go for me. I will also go one more and state Korean labor for assembly is far more disciplined than what you find in the US and especially mexico. Fun fact for those still paying attention - The Nissan Rogue's that have the flat Nissan logo on the grille behind smoked plastic were made in South Korea. They stopped production there in early 2020.
What interested me in Carvana was-
- Buying a car is the sleaziest most frustrating process from a dealer
- I could hand pick from an inventory of cars across the country willing to pay for delivery
- They offered me 500 dollars off the final price of a car in a letter campaign, as they were still growing
After the soft credit pull and a single pay stub, Carvana pre-approved me for any car up to 90k, with zero money down. I laughed. Hard. I had decent credit but wasnt going to bury myself.
After I settled down to a few models, I worked through the trade-in portion of the site, and found it was real easy to get a quote to trade in our 2005 Escape XLT which was a great car, but in Ford fashion the frame was rotting away. I had a fair offer for the trade in, described it honestly.
We also opted for the SilverRock warranty. Nissan, CVT, etc.
The big sale!
After watching how quickly some cars came and went early on, I got everything I needed for the trade in. Scan of the title, picture of the milage, car pictures. We were putting 2k down on the car, so the cash was waiting in my account, ready for transfer or cashier check if we were going to go with Carvana final loan offer.
The day I pulled the trigger on our Rogue, the entire process took all of 20 minutes. I was amazed, and honestly thought at the time "This should be illegal for how easy that was".
The offer for Carvana finance was within a couple tenths of my credit union, so I opted to simplify the process and go with them. Carvana performed a hard pull on my credit, confirmed the terms, and required confirmation from my bank that the money for deposit was in my account. I provided my bank login credentials and the process was done in minutes.
I had to provide a copy of my license and items related to the trade in, and it was done, in literally 20 minutes. I wondered if I was making a mistake..
It was an amazing deal, every dealer in the area was selling the same model for well over 2k of what we paid, so the SilverRock warranty was pretty much free after the additional 500 discount off the final price of the car.
Delivery - Trade in!
It was delayed. Twice. Pretty disappointing. Some pretty lame excuses. Honestly I should have expected a reasonable delivery date as the I knew the car I bought was 1500 miles away, but Carvana makes unrealistic delivery promises and is my biggest gripe regarding them.
When delivery day finally came, the Rogue was everything I had hoped it would be. While on the delivery truck I asked to inspect the undercarriage, and the driver was super friendly and allowed me to take my time. I looked it all over, looking for rust, oil leaks, you name it and I found nothing nothing, including nothing suspect like it had been cleaned. It was a 2-ish year old car with light dirt and surface rust where you would expect.
Once the Rogue was unloaded I was free to look it over with a fine comb, pop the hood, check the fluids, look for dents and dings, paint issues, interior issues, you name it. I found nothing major, just some minor things like paint polish slag in small corners and what not. Interior was very clean and detailed.
While I was looking over the Rogue, the delivery driver was loading the trade-in. He took some pictures, verified the mileage, checked the "check engine" light was off and started loading it on his truck.
I live in Massachusetts with very strict license and registration requirements. A few days before the delivery, someone from the Danvers site reached out to me about the registration details. I was transferring the plates from the trade in and they were finalizing the paperwork. I was provided the new registration, and the delivery driver had the new registration in hand so we could just put the plates on the Rogue and be ready to roll.
I took the Rogue for a 20 minute test drive, signed off on the purchase and trade. Driver headed off with the trade in and that was it. Carvana never called or questioned what they gave me for the trade.
Post delivery!
The very next day I brought the Rogue to work, I work in transportation/logistics and my site has ASE mechanics that I know very well. I asked him to go over the Rogue with the white glove and let me know if they think anything is wrong, as I have 6 days to return the car. They did so and they didnt find anything, just amazed at how clean the undercarriage, engine, and fluids were.
If I didn't have access to an ASE certified mechanic in this situation that I really trusted, I would have paid for a purchase inspection from a Nissan dealer. I did pay for the trusted inspection, just not in dollars lol.
After the personal vehicle inspection, my wife and I took off for a long weekend road trip roaming the White mountains of New Hampshire. Three days across many miles that easily blew out the initial vehicle 7 day warranty mileage. The Rogue was amazing through the mountains getting a ridiculous 30mpg through the entire trip. I wasn't concerned as people I trust cleared the car, and I also had the SilverRock warranty to cover the rest..
Speaking of warranty..
SilverRock!
The first, and pretty much only issue with the Rogue, was at about 48k miles. Massachusetts has a comprehensive yearly vehicle inspection program. At about 48k miles, the Rogue failed inspection for a bad inner tie rod, passenger side. Contacted SilverRock, and they gave me the local network shop here in Massachusetts, Monro.Monro is a regional repair shop here in MA with many locations. I take the Rogue to them and they diagnose that indeed the passenger side inner tie rod has gone bad. Repair tech states he has never seen one go bad on a Nissan at the current mileage.
The service manager starts looking around for the parts, called about 5 places, then calls a Nissan dealer. The Nissan dealer informs him the inner tie rod is not available for the 17, the only way to to repair the defect is replace the entire electric steering rack which comes with the inner and outer tie rods complete.
I call SilverRock with the service manager. I provide my name and vehicle make, SilverRock knows who I am right away. SilverRock rep asks whats wrong, service manager laid it down. SilverRock rep transfers us to a manager, manager asked about a few more details and then asked the service manager of Monro to send the estimate.
I get a call from the manager of Monro the next day, he said he went back and forth with SilverRock for about 20 minutes and got the entire job covered, throwing in a free front end alignment, for 1500 dollars using a genuine Nissan OEM steering rack.
SilverRock paid everything but the 100 dollar deductible. I picked up the Rogue 2 days later, paid 100, and went back for inspection. It passed.
Anyone reading this that knows about car repair, an inner tie rod costs maybe 150 dollars OEM. The fact it wasn't available and they had to replace the entire rack was absurd, yet they did it with a new OEM rack. At the time SilverRock could have required a rack used from a salvage yard, but they didn't.
I have nothing but positive things to say about SilverRock.
Bridgecrest!!
The silent partner.
I have NEVER spoken to someone at Bridgecrest. I have never called them. They have never called me.
I have NEVER emailed Bridgecrest. They have emailed me every single month for the life of my loan, after making a payment.
They fronted me the money, and expected it back. I paid it back, as expected. On time.
5 stars, and they will return the favor on my credit now that the loan is clear.
WHY YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY
Do your homework - buying a car is a capital investment in your future that loses money. You need a car to be reliable for your job, your family, your life. You need to spend money on a regular basis to keep that car reliable, on top of your car payment.
Know your budget - Dont fall for finance traps. Only buy what you can comfortably afford, again, owning a car costs you more money than what's on the final loan payment.
Get your car inspected ASAP - Pay a dealer for a purchase inspection. Schedule it ahead of time. Inform Carvana of the issues within 3 days of delivery and ask them to pick up the car. Carvana will make the car right, as they dont want to take the car back from qualified buyers. Keep on top of them until the car is what was expected.
Why Carvana may be bad for you
You have bad credit - Better know what you are signing on for. The majority of complaints in this sub are from people that have bad credit, cant read, and cant learn from past mistakes. Thats a personal problem, not a Carvana problem.
Closing
Aside from some delays in delivery, We have had an amazing 5 year journey with Carvana and associated companies. Our Rogue is now at over 100k miles and still drives and looks like new. We perform all maintenance as required, without question.
Living in MA, the last 5 years our Rogue has taken us thousands of miles over the White Mountains of New Hampshire, all through the Mountains of Maine, and multiple trips to Canada to visit the iconic Niagara Falls.
My wife travels every day for work, and the Rogue is her daily driver putting 3k miles on the clock every 2.5 months. We change the oil every 3k miles, perform the required CVT services at the dealer, and keep the tires rotated every 8K.
The tires that came on the Rogue from Carvana were in fact new, but the kind of tires that have a 30k mile treadwear warranty. The first snowy New England day we slipped through a stop sign in light snow, the next week we replaced the tires all around with BF Goodrich Advantage TA sport tires and the Rogue has been amazing in the snow ever since.
After getting our Rogue, my coworker was so impressed he bought not 1, but 2 cars from Carvana. Bastard got both cars delivered on time, on the same day, from different parts of the country.. I was so jealous lol. His cars had some minor issues, but Carvana took car of them.
My daughter bought a Nissan as well from Carvana. It had a few front end issues, but ultimately was taken care of through constant communication with Carvana during the 7 day test drive.
Will I use Carvana again? Yes.
Will it be soon? Not really.
Our other car is a Hyundai and running strong.
Hope some of my diatribe will be useful to anyone considering Carvana as usually is all bad mouth drival posted here.
2024.05.16 01:15 Fairyking_harliquen Emotional art block
I paint little rocks, with messages on the back in hopes to inspire others, to inspire their creativity, remind them of the beauty that there is in life, and various other things. I leave them at bus stops, petrol stations, or play grounds for kids, mundane places where the person finding them might feel something other than the routine things they expect from the location. However recently I gave one to someone I'm close to to pass on to a friend or leave somewhere like I do, in the hopes they might enjoy the feeling of gifting it to another, their response was I think to the messages written on them to which they said "everybody already knows these things, they need to feel it" In my head I thought that the art itself was what might spark joy in another rather than the message and responded by saying "well that makes the art feel kind of pointless" and they responded by saying "well I would never do that I don't like to give advice" (unsolicited advice) I think they were attempting to put it back on them selves but it left me feeling like my purpose and joy in painting these rocks died in that moment, if they don't help people feel anything what is the point at all? I spiraled into sadness and packed away all of my art supplies. I didn't expect to cry when I did this but as days pass the sadness grows. I suppose what I'm asking is, is it wrong to make art only for the purpose of spreading joy? And if it is not spreading that joy, what other reason could I continue? I guess I'm supposed to make it for myself, or because I enjoy it but I'm realizing that if it doesn't add any beauty to the world, or joy in the hearts of others maybe it doesn't bring me any personal joy at all, am I really an artist if I can't create without purpose? I haven't felt joy since I stopped making art, but I don't feel I can create again with the depth of sadness within me, I have no idea how to move past this, any advise would be greatly welcomed thank you so much for reading this.
submitted by Fairyking_harliquen to painting [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 01:15 lost_library_book (New update) I’m married to a woman who acts like a teenage girl [The Ballad of Bret Hart]
Originally chronicled here.
I am not the OOP. OOP is u/Lost_Beginning_2824
This was originally posted in TrueOffMyChest
2 updates
(recovered via pushpull)
Original post - February 6th, 2024
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
2nd Update - March 8th, 2024
Trigger warning: mention of domestic violence situation
I’m married to a woman who acts like a teenage girl – February 6th, 2024
My wife behaves like a teenage girl and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is just a rant. Curious to know how many full grown adults behave the way my wife does. I’d say out of all of the adult women I know, like friends, relatives, wives of my friends, none of them behave this way unless they keep it a closely guarded secret.
Editing right here to add that my wife is in her 30s, for context.
My wife is always obsessed with somebody, a man or sometimes multiple men at one time. Usually there is one or two main focuses at a time. When I talk obsessed I mean obsessed like a teenage girl or maybe even preteen girl would be. I’ve seen pictures of her bedroom when she was that age and they were literally wallpapers in posters of her favorite guys. That’s totally normal for a 13 year old girl. She still behaves that way as a woman in her 30s. Granted, our bedroom walls aren’t wallpapered in posters but they probably would be if I allowed it.
Her obsessions have ranged from rock stars, actors, non-entertainment industry public figures. It’s like one day she hasn’t even heard of the guy in question and the next day she’s super fan #1 and knows just about everything there is to know about him. She will read and watch everything there is to watch about the man. She will bring him up in every conversation. She will adopt parts of him into her own personality. She will suggest things that make it clear to me that she wants me to adopt characteristics of these men as part of my appearance or personality. She will openly admit to me that she’s masturbated over the guy multiple times in one day.
When she finds a new man to obsess over, she puts the others in her little stable of men who she always has a place for in her heart and in her fantasies, so they never really go away. The new man just takes center stage and becomes the main focus of almost her entire life.
So the current obsession is so strange to me. Never saw this one coming, but leave it to her to always find somebody new to fall in love with. The intensity that she has during these periods - it’s honestly like she falls in love with these men.
I’m laughing so hard just typing this all. Her current obsession is Bret Hart, former pro wrestler. This woman had never watched wrestling before in her life. Always thought that stuff was below her. And now she’s obsessed with this former pro-wrestler. She watched one show about him, for reasons I’m not aware of, and I could tell almost instantly where it was headed. I thought “here we go…” So now the Bret Hart obsession is in full swing. Has she already dropped close to $1000 in vintage Bret Hart shirts on eBay? Of course. Bought all the stickers and magnets and all sorts of other stupid crap she can find? Yep. Does she send me Bret Hart YouTube clips all.day.long when she’s supposed to be working? Yes she does.
So, I better get to work brushing up on my Bret Hart knowledge and tag lines. This is the key to getting laid when it comes to her. I’m used to this by now. It’s just not something that I can easily explain to anyone I know.
I mean, there’s are things I’m a fan of, but she is next level. I can’t think of anyone I know who is her age and acts like this. She was voted most likely to grow up and become a groupie when she was in high school, so this is absolutely nothing new for her. Sigh.
Many are lighthearted in the comments
plastic_Schedule_891
I mean he's the best there is, was and ever will be so that one makes sense at least .
You don’t think I’m hearing that 10 times a day now?
I better start planning that trip to Calgary.
Limerence is mentioned
poopchutethemoon
Yeah my bouts of limerence have been with people I’ve dated but reading that made me realize that I was very much being obsessive and it was totally all consuming. Glad it’s over honestly. Those feelings are exhausting.
Very interesting to hear you say the feelings are exhausting. It’s like a full time job for my wife, so I could see that. She told me she’s at work with her door closed pretending to be working, but she’s really watching Bret Hart videos on YouTube. She can’t even focus on her job.
OOP reveals more of the life he’s signed up for in the comments
get-bread-not-head
You've pretended to act like other men for 20 years?!
Damn dude, I hope you're finding ways to accept it and cope. That sounds rough, having to be someone else to have sex... stay strong king
Nah, I just learn their catchphrases or gain some deep fan knowledge that’ll impress her or maybe perfect a vocal impersonation of them that I can drop at the opportune time. The vocal impersonations work the best as far as making her like me and being like “ok, wanna have sex now?”
another_canoe
But what do you guys actually share *together*? That's not related to the obsession of the season? (I'm not going to even bother asking if she's tried to learn about any of your hobbies/interests).
NGL, this is all pretty grim to me, my man....and I'm someone who loves having a partner who is passionate about things and nerds out.
I fear that you've spent so long with her infatuations steamrolling over your own interests and preferences that you have convinced yourself that getting attention-by-proxy as your main source of validation from your SPOUSE is a healthy way to live.
If I told you that I was big into anime and Japanese RPGs and the only way I get interested in doing it with my actual wife is if she adopts the catch phrases /personality characteristics of my latest "waifu", would you feel some concern for my wife's mental health?
I'm also wondering about this spending....
She’s pretty dismissive of my interests and hobbies. I’ve told her I’d like her to try to pretend to show a little more interest sometimes. I make an effort to show real interest in her stuff and she does not do the same. I’m very into music and I do geek out over guitars and gear and things like that and she couldn’t tell you anything about any of the guitars I own other than “he has a blue one, he has a red one. “ We do love some of the same bands. Of course she wants to fuck the band members and I just want to talk about the chord progression on my favorite guitar tracks, but it’s close enough. We like a lot of the same movies and that sort of thing. We have the same sense of humor and can keep each other laughing for ages. We have a lot of the same views on life and on the world in general.
I don’t know, we just get each other I guess.
I would be concerned about the waifu thing, but I guess in my case she always likes guys who I think are pretty cool anyway. She has good taste, at least. If she has to be obsessing over some other guy constantly at least she does it over guys I can respect on some level.
Regarding the spending, I spend way more than she does. Only difference is it’s not usually fan merch I’m buying. But she tolerate my spending when it comes to stuff like guitar gear. She rolls her eyes and reprimands me but she tolerates it and just knows I won’t stop. I’m the same when it comes to her fan stuff. I get it, she wants the vintage 1993 Bret Hart shirt that costs hundreds…not a modern shirt that just anyone could go online and buy for $25 right now. She wants the cool, rare stuff. I’m the same with my guitars so I guess it’s like we understand each other in some way. I think it’s weird to become a fan of somebody and 2 days later drop thousands on them though. At least my money pit is consistent.
I think we both feel like we’re the only person who will semi understand and tolerate all of this stuff from each other
Not included here, but in several comments, OOP definitely brings up his wife’s looks as a positive in the relationship and he finds her antics at times amusing or even attractive.
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
I recently wrote about my wife suddenly discovering former pro-wrestler Bret “The Hitman” Hart one day after never even knowing of his existence, experienced love at first site, and is now even deeper than love with him then she was a month ago.
Tonight, I experienced a good hour of her sobbing, literal sobs, after watching the Bret Hart A&E biography. “I just love him so much. I love him with all my heart. I don’t want any more bad things to happen to him. Also, I’m very jealous he’s not my husband.”
She also went from not wanting any kids to suddenly wanting a baby so she can name it Bret (a girl or a boy, doesn’t matter…they will be named Bret). And she almost had me convinced, but I blame that on the heat of the moment.
She’s bought all sorts of clothes just like his. My wife now dresses like Bret Hart in and outside of the ring.
The past few days she’s been acting really annoyed with me. Finally I’m like “Wtf am I doing wrong?” I bought you Bret Hart stuff for your birthday! I call you Mrs. Bret Hart now, even though you’re my wife. I even sent you flowers at work from Bret. I mean that was supposed to get me points because she knew they were from me and I was playing into her obsession which she’s now apparently shared with everyone she works with. They’ve bought her a giant Bret Hart wall decal for her office.
Ok, so I did forget our anniversary which was very recently. Totally forgot it. Then again, so did she. She was too busy masturbating over Bret Hart to remember our wedding anniversary. I mean bad husband points for me obviously but all the birthday gifts had to have made up for it. I mean, I even ordered a Bret Hart birthday banner and got her a Bret Hart themed birthday cake as if she were a 7 year old boy in the year 1994.
So why is she acting so annoyed lately? Why does she act like she hates me and can’t stand to even be in the same room as me? She finally admits…I’m not Bret Hart. None of her obsession have ever been this bad. She’s seriously threatening me with divorce now because I’m not Bret Hart! She “just wants a guy like that.” She had to go walk the dog today and cry over it, how much she hates me and wishes she was married to Bret Hart. Oh fuck me you want a guy like your dad because that’s what Bret Hart is like…exactly like her dad, the same look, the same hair, the same damn age.
I told her I think she should get checked out for autism or some other sort of disorder. Her obsessions have never been this bad. She should make an appointment now because the waitlist is long. She just laughed. There’s nothing wrong with her. She just has different taste in men now, according to her.
Some comments
psychick
Therapist here - she needs to see a psychiatrist. This is mental illness to the extreme. Either she goes, or you leave. This is ultimatum territory. And, stop giving into her obsession. It makes it worse.
nualt42
Man, when she threatens divorce, take it. Jump at the chance.
Hell, sit, be a good boy and offer your fucking paw if that’s what it takes to get treated to an exit strategy. Don’t worry about dignity, sounds like you gave that up a long time ago.
She’s even looked up the divorce process for where we live and says we can be amicable about everything. She assures me she’s not looking to take any thing that is rightfully mine. She just wants a clean break.
Sophie3546
I’m surprised he even lasted this long. Calling her “Ms. Bret Hart” …..I can’t even fathom.
Excuse me, it’s MRS Bret Hart, not Ms.
NEW UPDATE - March 8th, 2024
Hi, you might remember me as the guy whose wife was obsessed with JFK (35th President of the United States), then experienced a world wind romance with former WWF pro-wrestler Bret Hart (the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be), but now she’s met a new man. I thought the Bret Hart obsession was the worst one yet. Never has she threatened divorce or told me she hated me because I wasn’t the object of her desire. Luckily, that was a relatively quick love affair for her. 3-4 months is a short run for her and one of her men. But I should be careful what I wish for.
This new one is the first time I’ve felt that I should maybe, just possibly, feel legitimately scared. Her newly developing obsession is Patrick Bateman. Yep, the character from American Psycho. Specifically, the movie version played by Christian Bale.
It’s not like she’s just met the guy. She’s seen the movie before but it doesn’t appear that they hit it off initially. Now, she’s suddenly started making constant reference to him. Bret is gone and now it’s just Patrick Bateman and maniacal laughter and purchasing all of the items in his skin care routine. I’d like to see her do 1000 crunches though. That’ll be the day.
She has always admitted to living the 80s preppy/yuppie look. She loves assholes. Assholes are a weakness for her. Psychopaths? Hmm…that’s a new one, unless you count the time she was in love with the Menendez Brothers years ago. God, the pastel Ralph Lauren sweaters she used to try to make me wear. Pastels are just not my shades.
Now, there was a time many years ago where I did have to hide all the knives in our home. I was legitimately scared that she was going to murder me. I forget what she was upset about now. I am, after all, her type - an asshole. I did something that bothered her and she ran for the knives. I had to hide them and then lock myself in a bedroom because she was literally chasing me. That was before she decided that she’d be the female Patrick Bateman. Granted, she says “only mean in the looks and snob department-nothing else.”
She’s trying to determine what the female equivalent to a Patrick Bateman hairstyle would be right now. I’m just worried about the bank account with this obsession. The amount she’ll spend on business cards alone.
Comments
lemonade_sparkle
Your wife is severely mentally ill, and needs help quickly.
Is there no chance of persuading her to get help?
If not, what preparations have you made to leave her?
I’m a strange way, I think these obsessions are what keep her sane.
Her getting help is funny though. It’s not going to happen. Sure I’ve tried to persuade her to see a therapist but she just won’t.
ctIaTErA
I probably shouldn’t be laughing as hard as I am right now. This is truly bizarre. Does she narrate her morning routine in the mirror each day now?
But in all seriousness, she’s chased you with a knife? Thats far more concerning than any of the obsessions with these men, and yes I did read the post about the wrestler. I thought it was just very quirky behavior before, but she seems truly unhinged now.
It was years ago. Like 10+ years ago. I’m much stronger than her so it’s not hard to hold her down if need be.
I AM NOT OOP
NO BRIGADING, NO HARASSMENT
submitted by lost_library_book to BORUpdates [link] [comments]
I am not the OOP. OOP is u/Lost_Beginning_2824
This was originally posted in TrueOffMyChest
2 updates
(recovered via pushpull)
Original post - February 6th, 2024
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
2nd Update - March 8th, 2024
Trigger warning: mention of domestic violence situation
I’m married to a woman who acts like a teenage girl – February 6th, 2024
My wife behaves like a teenage girl and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is just a rant. Curious to know how many full grown adults behave the way my wife does. I’d say out of all of the adult women I know, like friends, relatives, wives of my friends, none of them behave this way unless they keep it a closely guarded secret.
Editing right here to add that my wife is in her 30s, for context.
My wife is always obsessed with somebody, a man or sometimes multiple men at one time. Usually there is one or two main focuses at a time. When I talk obsessed I mean obsessed like a teenage girl or maybe even preteen girl would be. I’ve seen pictures of her bedroom when she was that age and they were literally wallpapers in posters of her favorite guys. That’s totally normal for a 13 year old girl. She still behaves that way as a woman in her 30s. Granted, our bedroom walls aren’t wallpapered in posters but they probably would be if I allowed it.
Her obsessions have ranged from rock stars, actors, non-entertainment industry public figures. It’s like one day she hasn’t even heard of the guy in question and the next day she’s super fan #1 and knows just about everything there is to know about him. She will read and watch everything there is to watch about the man. She will bring him up in every conversation. She will adopt parts of him into her own personality. She will suggest things that make it clear to me that she wants me to adopt characteristics of these men as part of my appearance or personality. She will openly admit to me that she’s masturbated over the guy multiple times in one day.
When she finds a new man to obsess over, she puts the others in her little stable of men who she always has a place for in her heart and in her fantasies, so they never really go away. The new man just takes center stage and becomes the main focus of almost her entire life.
So the current obsession is so strange to me. Never saw this one coming, but leave it to her to always find somebody new to fall in love with. The intensity that she has during these periods - it’s honestly like she falls in love with these men.
I’m laughing so hard just typing this all. Her current obsession is Bret Hart, former pro wrestler. This woman had never watched wrestling before in her life. Always thought that stuff was below her. And now she’s obsessed with this former pro-wrestler. She watched one show about him, for reasons I’m not aware of, and I could tell almost instantly where it was headed. I thought “here we go…” So now the Bret Hart obsession is in full swing. Has she already dropped close to $1000 in vintage Bret Hart shirts on eBay? Of course. Bought all the stickers and magnets and all sorts of other stupid crap she can find? Yep. Does she send me Bret Hart YouTube clips all.day.long when she’s supposed to be working? Yes she does.
So, I better get to work brushing up on my Bret Hart knowledge and tag lines. This is the key to getting laid when it comes to her. I’m used to this by now. It’s just not something that I can easily explain to anyone I know.
I mean, there’s are things I’m a fan of, but she is next level. I can’t think of anyone I know who is her age and acts like this. She was voted most likely to grow up and become a groupie when she was in high school, so this is absolutely nothing new for her. Sigh.
Many are lighthearted in the comments
plastic_Schedule_891
I mean he's the best there is, was and ever will be so that one makes sense at least .
You don’t think I’m hearing that 10 times a day now?
I better start planning that trip to Calgary.
Limerence is mentioned
poopchutethemoon
Yeah my bouts of limerence have been with people I’ve dated but reading that made me realize that I was very much being obsessive and it was totally all consuming. Glad it’s over honestly. Those feelings are exhausting.
Very interesting to hear you say the feelings are exhausting. It’s like a full time job for my wife, so I could see that. She told me she’s at work with her door closed pretending to be working, but she’s really watching Bret Hart videos on YouTube. She can’t even focus on her job.
OOP reveals more of the life he’s signed up for in the comments
get-bread-not-head
You've pretended to act like other men for 20 years?!
Damn dude, I hope you're finding ways to accept it and cope. That sounds rough, having to be someone else to have sex... stay strong king
Nah, I just learn their catchphrases or gain some deep fan knowledge that’ll impress her or maybe perfect a vocal impersonation of them that I can drop at the opportune time. The vocal impersonations work the best as far as making her like me and being like “ok, wanna have sex now?”
another_canoe
But what do you guys actually share *together*? That's not related to the obsession of the season? (I'm not going to even bother asking if she's tried to learn about any of your hobbies/interests).
NGL, this is all pretty grim to me, my man....and I'm someone who loves having a partner who is passionate about things and nerds out.
I fear that you've spent so long with her infatuations steamrolling over your own interests and preferences that you have convinced yourself that getting attention-by-proxy as your main source of validation from your SPOUSE is a healthy way to live.
If I told you that I was big into anime and Japanese RPGs and the only way I get interested in doing it with my actual wife is if she adopts the catch phrases /personality characteristics of my latest "waifu", would you feel some concern for my wife's mental health?
I'm also wondering about this spending....
She’s pretty dismissive of my interests and hobbies. I’ve told her I’d like her to try to pretend to show a little more interest sometimes. I make an effort to show real interest in her stuff and she does not do the same. I’m very into music and I do geek out over guitars and gear and things like that and she couldn’t tell you anything about any of the guitars I own other than “he has a blue one, he has a red one. “ We do love some of the same bands. Of course she wants to fuck the band members and I just want to talk about the chord progression on my favorite guitar tracks, but it’s close enough. We like a lot of the same movies and that sort of thing. We have the same sense of humor and can keep each other laughing for ages. We have a lot of the same views on life and on the world in general.
I don’t know, we just get each other I guess.
I would be concerned about the waifu thing, but I guess in my case she always likes guys who I think are pretty cool anyway. She has good taste, at least. If she has to be obsessing over some other guy constantly at least she does it over guys I can respect on some level.
Regarding the spending, I spend way more than she does. Only difference is it’s not usually fan merch I’m buying. But she tolerate my spending when it comes to stuff like guitar gear. She rolls her eyes and reprimands me but she tolerates it and just knows I won’t stop. I’m the same when it comes to her fan stuff. I get it, she wants the vintage 1993 Bret Hart shirt that costs hundreds…not a modern shirt that just anyone could go online and buy for $25 right now. She wants the cool, rare stuff. I’m the same with my guitars so I guess it’s like we understand each other in some way. I think it’s weird to become a fan of somebody and 2 days later drop thousands on them though. At least my money pit is consistent.
I think we both feel like we’re the only person who will semi understand and tolerate all of this stuff from each other
Not included here, but in several comments, OOP definitely brings up his wife’s looks as a positive in the relationship and he finds her antics at times amusing or even attractive.
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
I recently wrote about my wife suddenly discovering former pro-wrestler Bret “The Hitman” Hart one day after never even knowing of his existence, experienced love at first site, and is now even deeper than love with him then she was a month ago.
Tonight, I experienced a good hour of her sobbing, literal sobs, after watching the Bret Hart A&E biography. “I just love him so much. I love him with all my heart. I don’t want any more bad things to happen to him. Also, I’m very jealous he’s not my husband.”
She also went from not wanting any kids to suddenly wanting a baby so she can name it Bret (a girl or a boy, doesn’t matter…they will be named Bret). And she almost had me convinced, but I blame that on the heat of the moment.
She’s bought all sorts of clothes just like his. My wife now dresses like Bret Hart in and outside of the ring.
The past few days she’s been acting really annoyed with me. Finally I’m like “Wtf am I doing wrong?” I bought you Bret Hart stuff for your birthday! I call you Mrs. Bret Hart now, even though you’re my wife. I even sent you flowers at work from Bret. I mean that was supposed to get me points because she knew they were from me and I was playing into her obsession which she’s now apparently shared with everyone she works with. They’ve bought her a giant Bret Hart wall decal for her office.
Ok, so I did forget our anniversary which was very recently. Totally forgot it. Then again, so did she. She was too busy masturbating over Bret Hart to remember our wedding anniversary. I mean bad husband points for me obviously but all the birthday gifts had to have made up for it. I mean, I even ordered a Bret Hart birthday banner and got her a Bret Hart themed birthday cake as if she were a 7 year old boy in the year 1994.
So why is she acting so annoyed lately? Why does she act like she hates me and can’t stand to even be in the same room as me? She finally admits…I’m not Bret Hart. None of her obsession have ever been this bad. She’s seriously threatening me with divorce now because I’m not Bret Hart! She “just wants a guy like that.” She had to go walk the dog today and cry over it, how much she hates me and wishes she was married to Bret Hart. Oh fuck me you want a guy like your dad because that’s what Bret Hart is like…exactly like her dad, the same look, the same hair, the same damn age.
I told her I think she should get checked out for autism or some other sort of disorder. Her obsessions have never been this bad. She should make an appointment now because the waitlist is long. She just laughed. There’s nothing wrong with her. She just has different taste in men now, according to her.
Some comments
psychick
Therapist here - she needs to see a psychiatrist. This is mental illness to the extreme. Either she goes, or you leave. This is ultimatum territory. And, stop giving into her obsession. It makes it worse.
nualt42
Man, when she threatens divorce, take it. Jump at the chance.
Hell, sit, be a good boy and offer your fucking paw if that’s what it takes to get treated to an exit strategy. Don’t worry about dignity, sounds like you gave that up a long time ago.
She’s even looked up the divorce process for where we live and says we can be amicable about everything. She assures me she’s not looking to take any thing that is rightfully mine. She just wants a clean break.
Sophie3546
I’m surprised he even lasted this long. Calling her “Ms. Bret Hart” …..I can’t even fathom.
Excuse me, it’s MRS Bret Hart, not Ms.
NEW UPDATE - March 8th, 2024
Hi, you might remember me as the guy whose wife was obsessed with JFK (35th President of the United States), then experienced a world wind romance with former WWF pro-wrestler Bret Hart (the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be), but now she’s met a new man. I thought the Bret Hart obsession was the worst one yet. Never has she threatened divorce or told me she hated me because I wasn’t the object of her desire. Luckily, that was a relatively quick love affair for her. 3-4 months is a short run for her and one of her men. But I should be careful what I wish for.
This new one is the first time I’ve felt that I should maybe, just possibly, feel legitimately scared. Her newly developing obsession is Patrick Bateman. Yep, the character from American Psycho. Specifically, the movie version played by Christian Bale.
It’s not like she’s just met the guy. She’s seen the movie before but it doesn’t appear that they hit it off initially. Now, she’s suddenly started making constant reference to him. Bret is gone and now it’s just Patrick Bateman and maniacal laughter and purchasing all of the items in his skin care routine. I’d like to see her do 1000 crunches though. That’ll be the day.
She has always admitted to living the 80s preppy/yuppie look. She loves assholes. Assholes are a weakness for her. Psychopaths? Hmm…that’s a new one, unless you count the time she was in love with the Menendez Brothers years ago. God, the pastel Ralph Lauren sweaters she used to try to make me wear. Pastels are just not my shades.
Now, there was a time many years ago where I did have to hide all the knives in our home. I was legitimately scared that she was going to murder me. I forget what she was upset about now. I am, after all, her type - an asshole. I did something that bothered her and she ran for the knives. I had to hide them and then lock myself in a bedroom because she was literally chasing me. That was before she decided that she’d be the female Patrick Bateman. Granted, she says “only mean in the looks and snob department-nothing else.”
She’s trying to determine what the female equivalent to a Patrick Bateman hairstyle would be right now. I’m just worried about the bank account with this obsession. The amount she’ll spend on business cards alone.
Comments
lemonade_sparkle
Your wife is severely mentally ill, and needs help quickly.
Is there no chance of persuading her to get help?
If not, what preparations have you made to leave her?
I’m a strange way, I think these obsessions are what keep her sane.
Her getting help is funny though. It’s not going to happen. Sure I’ve tried to persuade her to see a therapist but she just won’t.
ctIaTErA
I probably shouldn’t be laughing as hard as I am right now. This is truly bizarre. Does she narrate her morning routine in the mirror each day now?
But in all seriousness, she’s chased you with a knife? Thats far more concerning than any of the obsessions with these men, and yes I did read the post about the wrestler. I thought it was just very quirky behavior before, but she seems truly unhinged now.
It was years ago. Like 10+ years ago. I’m much stronger than her so it’s not hard to hold her down if need be.
I AM NOT OOP
NO BRIGADING, NO HARASSMENT
2024.05.16 01:14 angheller Newbie Follow Up on TFP Care
 | The other day I posted about the slight green/brown in the corner of the pool. Today I just got in my Taylor Kit 1006C. I have attached photos so the pool, test results from pool store a couple days ago, my pH test from today to confirm, and the two options to SLAM my pool. My CYA test revealed I was at 82, but pool store test came up to 89. Should I SLAM based on the pool store test just to ensure the algae is gone? My chlorine test revealed my FC level to be at 21(I have added 8 gal of chlorine since the pool store test to keep the algae stain at bay). I am only about 1-1.5 gal of chlorine away from the SLAM level. From the readings it looks like 3x per day I should check my chlorine level and adjust to the SLAM level. Then perform the chlorine lost test overnight. Once there is less than 1ppm Chlorine loss over night I will maintain my chlorine level around 9ish(I say ish because I’m not sure to use the 89 CYA level or 82 if that difference even matters much.) it is about 4pm Here with sun down in 3 hours. Should I start my slam now or just wait to start tomorrow morning? I think my pH is about 7.8 but from other articles I read it says not to worry much about pH level when CYA is in the water and just check pH to make sure it is below the ceiling which if I recall correctly was 8. submitted by angheller to pools [link] [comments] Thank you all for the help, patience and advice these past few days. Ready to care for my own pool PROPERLY and safely. |
2024.05.16 01:13 Tiny_Lifeguard4737 My (41f) husband (46m) treats me poorly, is it abuse?
Thank you for reading my post. I made a throwaway account to write it for obvious reasons.
My husband has treated me a certain way for a very long time. I've struggled with it and brought it up in the past but he's never changed. We are in a stretch where this behavior has been more frequent and I'm trying so hard to get it to stop. I classified it as abusive recently and he got so mad at me about it and is telling me it has all been my fault. I need some help. I just need someone impartial to share their input on the situation and help me understand if I'm right or wrong.
The behavior itself is common amongst all the various incidents. It includes yelling and name calling, saying all the worst possible things about me that he can come up with, following me around the house continuing after I've asked him to stop and getting more and more aggressive the more I try to run away or get him to stop. There is typically no physical threats or physical contact except in a few circumstances.
We've been together 7 years, married 2 and this behavior has been prevalent the entire time.
The incidents are all different but result in this exact same behavior. I'm going to list some of the premises below and then some things that may have been unique about that specific outburst.
After we had been in a relationship for a little there was a time we went to a going away party for a work friend of mine and there were a lot of guys there. He started acting a little different, drinking heavy and when we got home the first outburst started. He had me on the couch and was standing over me screaming incessantly with what basically became jibberish, screaming for screaming's sake. He wouldn't stop, would listen to me just screamed.
Another was after a work party of mine, black tie event fun night he drank a lot and then it was the same thing when we got home, yelling and refusing to stop.
At a friend of mine's wedding I was a bridesmaid in he got really bad. Again a lot of drinking and a huge group of us ended up at a bar. I was at the bar getting drinks and a random guy probably said a total of 5 words to me while I was standing there. I get back to him with his drink and he looked mad. He snapped at me and then spend the rest of the evening out drunkenly telling all my friends about how he would hurt that random guy if he saw him again. Get back to the hotel room and this was the worst one by far. He was standing over me on the bed yelling and pushing me, not letting me get up and pushing more when I curled up into a ball. It went on and on and on, I left the room at one point to let him cool and came back later and it started right back up to the point someone in the room next door was banging on the wall.
On an international vacation we were at a bar on our last day sitting together just he and I. A guy sat down next to me and just started chatting up idle conversation. I look over and my husband is staring at his plate of food in dead silence. His attitude changed that moment and he was laxidasical leaving the bar and on the way to the airbnb and then the yelling and anger started. Again he wouldn't stop, I ended up locked in the 2nd bedroom to stay away from him.
On another vacation he acted the same way and I ended up locking myself in the 2nd room again although this time what upset him was that I went to the beach without him while he was out shopping.
We bought a house together and moved in at some point during all of this and the times it happened at home are too many to count but I'm going to list a few more.
One time he was mad I wasn't in the mood for sex and he stormed around the bedroom yelling, stood over me in bed pushing me, followed me around the house yelling when I got up to get away from him. There were a lot of similar incidents that seemed to be about sex or him telling me he felt like I rejected him.
One time he was mad I was reading my kindle instead of spending time with him and went off on me the same way, yelling non stop, saying the worst things he could think of, chasing me around the house when I tried to get away, getting more aggressive the harder I tried to get away. There were a lot of other similar times where I'd be doing a hobby and he would act this way.
One time I went on a weekend trip with my sister, he told me to text him when I got there and I forgot to and he spent the entire weekend sending me angry texts even though I kept asking him to stop. This wasn't the exact same as the rest, but the unwillingness to stop and aggressiveness were similar and it stuck out in my mind.
Recently we were out watching his uncles band with his family having a good night, drinking, even had a good ride home together singing songs and then he just flipped. Same stuff with the yelling and following me around the house refusing to stop. This time I grabbed his lapel and screamed at him to stop. He let me walk away then came down to the basement where I went to get away from him and told me that if I touched him in anger like that again he'd kill me. I took this one hard but he keeps telling me it was my fault because I touched him, but I only grabbed on to his shirt and yelled for him to stop.
A couple weeks later he was working and the neighbors invited me over for a bonfire. I let him know where I was, invited him to come over and told him I didn't know when I'd be home. He was tired from work and didn't want to come. I got home around 2am, sat on the couch and ended up falling asleep there. In the morning I woke up to him screaming at me, calling me names and then storming out the door. I come to find out he had called all the neighbors in the middle of the night to see where I was but never came to look on the couch. He spent the rest of the morning sending me angry texts.
I went to go see my nephew's concert and was hanging out in the audience with my brother and SIL. SIL and I made plans for a girls day at our house that weekend because my husband was going fishing. I told my brother if he came over he could go fishing with my husband (my brother wasn't going to actually come). I text my husband about it before the concert started to let him know what I told my brother and he sent me angry texts during the concert and then when I got home he was immediately yelling. Again chasing me around the house, again not stopping when I begged, standing over me in bed while trying to sleep yelling and yelling.
This is just some of them but the theme of the yelling and not stopping and chasing me around is the same. We are generally happy outside of these outbursts and sometimes they just come out of left field like the night he threatened to kill me. He blames them all on me, something I did wrong or a way I acted that caused it. But they are all different things, and his reaction is the same thing and all I ever ask him to do is stop and to not act like that again but he never stops and it always happens again. I told him it was almost like abuse and he's been mad at me about it for a week straight now.
Can all of you impartial people out there just let me know if I'm right in calling this abuse?
submitted by Tiny_Lifeguard4737 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
My husband has treated me a certain way for a very long time. I've struggled with it and brought it up in the past but he's never changed. We are in a stretch where this behavior has been more frequent and I'm trying so hard to get it to stop. I classified it as abusive recently and he got so mad at me about it and is telling me it has all been my fault. I need some help. I just need someone impartial to share their input on the situation and help me understand if I'm right or wrong.
The behavior itself is common amongst all the various incidents. It includes yelling and name calling, saying all the worst possible things about me that he can come up with, following me around the house continuing after I've asked him to stop and getting more and more aggressive the more I try to run away or get him to stop. There is typically no physical threats or physical contact except in a few circumstances.
We've been together 7 years, married 2 and this behavior has been prevalent the entire time.
The incidents are all different but result in this exact same behavior. I'm going to list some of the premises below and then some things that may have been unique about that specific outburst.
After we had been in a relationship for a little there was a time we went to a going away party for a work friend of mine and there were a lot of guys there. He started acting a little different, drinking heavy and when we got home the first outburst started. He had me on the couch and was standing over me screaming incessantly with what basically became jibberish, screaming for screaming's sake. He wouldn't stop, would listen to me just screamed.
Another was after a work party of mine, black tie event fun night he drank a lot and then it was the same thing when we got home, yelling and refusing to stop.
At a friend of mine's wedding I was a bridesmaid in he got really bad. Again a lot of drinking and a huge group of us ended up at a bar. I was at the bar getting drinks and a random guy probably said a total of 5 words to me while I was standing there. I get back to him with his drink and he looked mad. He snapped at me and then spend the rest of the evening out drunkenly telling all my friends about how he would hurt that random guy if he saw him again. Get back to the hotel room and this was the worst one by far. He was standing over me on the bed yelling and pushing me, not letting me get up and pushing more when I curled up into a ball. It went on and on and on, I left the room at one point to let him cool and came back later and it started right back up to the point someone in the room next door was banging on the wall.
On an international vacation we were at a bar on our last day sitting together just he and I. A guy sat down next to me and just started chatting up idle conversation. I look over and my husband is staring at his plate of food in dead silence. His attitude changed that moment and he was laxidasical leaving the bar and on the way to the airbnb and then the yelling and anger started. Again he wouldn't stop, I ended up locked in the 2nd bedroom to stay away from him.
On another vacation he acted the same way and I ended up locking myself in the 2nd room again although this time what upset him was that I went to the beach without him while he was out shopping.
We bought a house together and moved in at some point during all of this and the times it happened at home are too many to count but I'm going to list a few more.
One time he was mad I wasn't in the mood for sex and he stormed around the bedroom yelling, stood over me in bed pushing me, followed me around the house yelling when I got up to get away from him. There were a lot of similar incidents that seemed to be about sex or him telling me he felt like I rejected him.
One time he was mad I was reading my kindle instead of spending time with him and went off on me the same way, yelling non stop, saying the worst things he could think of, chasing me around the house when I tried to get away, getting more aggressive the harder I tried to get away. There were a lot of other similar times where I'd be doing a hobby and he would act this way.
One time I went on a weekend trip with my sister, he told me to text him when I got there and I forgot to and he spent the entire weekend sending me angry texts even though I kept asking him to stop. This wasn't the exact same as the rest, but the unwillingness to stop and aggressiveness were similar and it stuck out in my mind.
Recently we were out watching his uncles band with his family having a good night, drinking, even had a good ride home together singing songs and then he just flipped. Same stuff with the yelling and following me around the house refusing to stop. This time I grabbed his lapel and screamed at him to stop. He let me walk away then came down to the basement where I went to get away from him and told me that if I touched him in anger like that again he'd kill me. I took this one hard but he keeps telling me it was my fault because I touched him, but I only grabbed on to his shirt and yelled for him to stop.
A couple weeks later he was working and the neighbors invited me over for a bonfire. I let him know where I was, invited him to come over and told him I didn't know when I'd be home. He was tired from work and didn't want to come. I got home around 2am, sat on the couch and ended up falling asleep there. In the morning I woke up to him screaming at me, calling me names and then storming out the door. I come to find out he had called all the neighbors in the middle of the night to see where I was but never came to look on the couch. He spent the rest of the morning sending me angry texts.
I went to go see my nephew's concert and was hanging out in the audience with my brother and SIL. SIL and I made plans for a girls day at our house that weekend because my husband was going fishing. I told my brother if he came over he could go fishing with my husband (my brother wasn't going to actually come). I text my husband about it before the concert started to let him know what I told my brother and he sent me angry texts during the concert and then when I got home he was immediately yelling. Again chasing me around the house, again not stopping when I begged, standing over me in bed while trying to sleep yelling and yelling.
This is just some of them but the theme of the yelling and not stopping and chasing me around is the same. We are generally happy outside of these outbursts and sometimes they just come out of left field like the night he threatened to kill me. He blames them all on me, something I did wrong or a way I acted that caused it. But they are all different things, and his reaction is the same thing and all I ever ask him to do is stop and to not act like that again but he never stops and it always happens again. I told him it was almost like abuse and he's been mad at me about it for a week straight now.
Can all of you impartial people out there just let me know if I'm right in calling this abuse?
2024.05.16 01:12 Sweet-Count2557 Best Things to Do in Sherman Tx
 | Best Things to Do in Sherman Tx Are you ready to embark on an unforgettable adventure in Sherman, TX? Well, buckle up because we've got the ultimate guide to the best things to do in this vibrant city!From exploring wildlife and immersing ourselves in cultural heritage to indulging in craft beers and outdoor recreation, there's something for everyone.Get ready to be captivated by captivating animal displays at the Harber Wildlife Museum or groove to the unique beats at the Sherman Jazz Museum.So, let's dive into the freedom of endless possibilities in Sherman, TX!Key TakeawaysSherman, TX offers a variety of outdoor activities and parks, such as the Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge, Herman Baker Park, and Lake Texoma, perfect for nature enthusiasts and outdoor lovers.The city is home to several museums and cultural attractions, including the Harber Wildlife Museum, Sherman Jazz Museum, and Outlaw Trails Museum, providing educational and entertaining experiences for visitors of all ages.Beer enthusiasts can enjoy a visit to breweries and pubs like 903 Brewers and Cellarmans Pub and Brewery, where they can relax, enjoy live music, and taste a variety of flavorful drinks and food.Sherman also offers shopping and dining options, such as Kelly Square, Sherman Town Center, and Sherman Farmers Market, where visitors can explore boutiques, antique stores, eateries, and enjoy delicious meals from local restaurants.Wildlife and NatureWe love exploring the diverse wildlife and natural beauty of Sherman, Texas. When it comes to things to do in Sherman, TX, immersing ourselves in nature is always at the top of our list.One of our favorite spots is the refuge park, where we can encounter a variety of wildlife and plants. Whether we choose to take a hike or go on a photowalk, we're always in awe of the stunning scenery that surrounds us.For a more relaxing experience, we like to spend time by the lake or enjoy a scenic drive to spot birds. The tranquil atmosphere allows us to connect with nature and appreciate the beauty of our surroundings.If we want to learn more about the wildlife in the area, we make sure to stop by the visitors center. The knowledgeable staff is always eager to share information and provide us with a deeper understanding of the local ecosystem.Another must-visit attraction for nature enthusiasts is the Harber Wildlife Museum. With its interesting displays and educational exhibits, it offers a captivating experience for all ages. From learning about different animal species to understanding the importance of conservation, this museum is a treasure trove of knowledge.In Sherman, TX, there's no shortage of opportunities to explore the wonders of wildlife and nature. Whether it's a hike through the refuge park, a visit to the Harber Wildlife Museum, or simply enjoying the peacefulness of the lake, there's something for everyone to enjoy.Museums and Cultural AttractionsWhen it comes to museums and cultural attractions in Sherman, there are plenty of options that offer interactive exhibits for all and captivating displays for everyone.From the Harber Wildlife Museum with its interesting animal displays to the Sherman Jazz Museum that delights jazz enthusiasts and art lovers, there's something for everyone to enjoy.These attractions provide an educational and engaging experience for visitors of all ages, making them a must-visit when exploring Sherman's cultural scene.Interactive Exhibits for AllExplore the Harber Wildlife Museum in Sherman, TX, for an educational and interactive experience with captivating animal displays. This museum offers around 11,000 square feet of interesting exhibits that are perfect for all ages.As you walk through the museum, you'll be greeted by lifelike animal displays that showcase the beauty and diversity of wildlife. Get up close to a towering giraffe, marvel at the intricate details of a roaring lion, and learn about the habitats and behaviors of various species.The museum also provides interactive elements, allowing visitors to engage with the displays and gain a deeper understanding of the animal kingdom. Whether you're a nature enthusiast or simply looking for a fun and educational activity, the Harber Wildlife Museum is sure to captivate your attention.From here, let's move on to explore other captivating displays for everyone.Captivating Displays for EveryoneThere are several captivating museums and cultural attractions in Sherman, TX that offer fascinating displays for everyone to enjoy. One such museum is the Harber Wildlife Museum, located at 4703 Texoma Pkwy. This museum boasts around 11,000 square feet of interesting displays, making it a perfect indoor activity for rainy or cold days. Inside, you'll find captivating animal displays that provide an educational experience for all ages. Another must-visit attraction is the Sherman Jazz Museum, founded in 2010 by Bill Collins. Situated at 201 E Lamar St, this museum is a perfect destination for jazz enthusiasts and art lovers. It features vintage items and unique art, including exhibits showcasing vinyl albums and trumpets. Lastly, the Outlaw Trails Museum, located at 118 W Lamar St, offers a unique experience with exhibits from different eras in history, such as 'Toys through The Years' and Titanic artifacts. See the table below for a summary of these captivating displays:Museum NameLocationDescriptionHarber Wildlife Museum4703 Texoma Pkwy11,000 sq ft of interesting displays. Perfect for rainy or cold days.Sherman Jazz Museum201 E Lamar StVintage items and unique art. Ideal for jazz enthusiasts and art lovers.Outlaw Trails Museum118 W Lamar StExhibits from different eras in history. Unique displays, including Titanic artifacts.Breweries and PubsLet's check out two breweries and pubs in Sherman, TX.903 Brewers: This brewery has been crafting award-winning beers since 2013. Located at 1718 S Elm St, Sherman, TX 75090, it offers a great spot to relax and enjoy live music at night. The atmosphere is laid-back and inviting, making it the perfect place to unwind and enjoy a cold brew. And if you're feeling hungry, they also offer an array of delectable American food to complement your drink. Plus, being situated near outstanding restaurants and downtown spots, you can easily make it a part of your night out in Sherman.Cellarmans Pub and Brewery: Established in 1998, this lively pub is located at 2130 Texoma Pkwy, Sherman, TX 75090. Known for its flavorful sodas and beers, it's a favorite spot for locals and visitors alike. The pub has a romantic vibe, making it a perfect spot for couples to enjoy a night out. Delightful pizzas and a laid-back atmosphere add to the charm. And if beer isn't your drink of choice, they also offer mixed drinks, wines, and fresh options to suit every palate.Water Parks and Outdoor RecreationWater parks and outdoor recreation are a popular choice for visitors in Sherman, Texas. With attractions like the Splash Family Aquatic Center, families can enjoy a refreshing day of fun with spray features, slides, and a lazy river.For those looking for a unique experience, Cypress Lake Ranch offers amazing animal adventures, where visitors can feed and pet farm animals, ride ponies, and even take horseback riding lessons.Water Park Attractions NearbyOne of the water park attractions nearby is the Splash Family Aquatic Center, which offers outdoor fun for visitors of all ages.Dive into the excitement of the water slides, twisting and turning as you race your friends to the bottom.Cool off in the spray features, where water shoots up from the ground and creates a refreshing mist in the air.Take a leisurely float down the lazy river, feeling the gentle current carry you along as you soak up the sun.For the little ones, there's a dedicated play area with shallow pools and interactive water features, ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience for the whole family.With so much to do and explore at the Splash Family Aquatic Center, you're guaranteed a day filled with laughter, relaxation, and endless water-filled adventures.But what're the best water park activities?Best Water Park Activities?We can't wait to try out the thrilling water slides at the Splash Family Aquatic Center! Located at 1121 W Taylor St, Sherman, TX 75092, this outdoor waterpark is designed for visitors of all ages.As we make our way down the slides, we'll feel the rush of excitement and the refreshing splash of water.But the fun doesn't stop there. We can also relax on the lazy river, enjoying a leisurely float while soaking up the sun.And for those looking for a little more adventure, there are spray features and interactive play structures that are sure to keep us entertained.Whether we're seeking a thrilling experience or a relaxing day in the water, the Splash Family Aquatic Center has it all.Shopping and DiningWhile exploring Sherman, a great way to experience the local culture and indulge in delicious cuisine is by visiting the various shopping and dining options available. Here are four must-visit places for shopping and dining in Sherman:Kelly Square: Located at 115 S Travis St, Sherman, TX 75090, this trendy shopping center in Downtown Sherman offers a delightful mix of boutiques, an antique store, and eateries. Hunt for bargains at the antique store and treat yourself to tasty goodies at Fulbellis Restaurant and Bar.Sherman Town Center: Explore this shopping mecca for a wide range of shopping options. Located at a convenient location, it offers a variety of stores to suit every taste and budget. Afterward, satisfy your hunger by enjoying a meal at the Old Iron Post, known for its delicious food.Sherman Farmers Market: For fresh local produce, visit the Sherman Farmers Market. Located in a vibrant atmosphere, this market is a haven for food lovers. Discover a wide array of fruits, vegetables, and other local products to savor the flavors of Sherman.Sherman Antique Mall: If you're looking for unique finds, head to the Sherman Antique Mall. With its extensive collection of antiques and vintage items, this mall is a treasure trove for antique enthusiasts. Browse through the various booths and discover hidden gems from the past.Whether you're in the mood for shopping or dining, Sherman has something for everyone. From trendy shopping centers and vibrant farmers markets to antique malls and delicious eateries, you'll find plenty of options to satisfy your cravings and indulge in a memorable experience.Day Trips and Nearby AttractionsVisiting the charming town of Denison, just a short drive away, is a great way to explore nearby attractions while in Sherman. Denison offers a variety of attractions that cater to different interests and preferences. Whether you're a nature lover, history buff, or adventure seeker, Denison has something for everyone.Day Trips and Nearby AttractionsFrank Buck Zoo GainesvilleEisenhower Birthplace State Historic SiteChickasaw National Recreation AreaHistoric Downtown GainesvilleLake Murray State ParkOne of the top attractions in Denison is the Frank Buck Zoo in Gainesville. This 30-acre zoological park is home to over 130 animals and offers comfortable enclosures that mimic natural habitats. It's a great place to spend a day with family, as there are fun activities and animal encounters, including the chance to feed zebras.For history enthusiasts, the Eisenhower Birthplace State Historic Site is a must-visit. This site preserves the birthplace and childhood home of President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Explore the exhibits and learn about his early life and rise to power.If you're up for a short drive across the border, the Chickasaw National Recreation Area in Oklahoma is worth a visit. This beautiful park features stunning landscapes, natural springs, and opportunities for hiking, camping, and swimming.In downtown Gainesville, you can immerse yourself in history as you stroll through the charming streets. Admire the historic architecture and visit local shops and restaurants.Lastly, nature lovers can explore the beautiful Lake Murray State Park in Oklahoma. This park offers a wide range of outdoor activities, including fishing, boating, hiking, and picnicking. Enjoy the scenic views and relax in nature's embrace.With its diverse range of attractions, Denison provides a perfect day trip from Sherman. Whether you're interested in wildlife, history, or outdoor adventures, Denison has something to offer.Outdoor Activities and ParksOne of the best ways to enjoy the outdoors in Sherman is by exploring the Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge. Here are four outdoor activities and parks in Sherman that offer a sense of freedom and adventure:Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge: Immerse yourself in the beauty of nature as you visit this refuge park. Take a leisurely hike or go on a photowalk to capture the stunning landscapes and wildlife. Relax by the lake, where you can enjoy the peaceful ambiance and maybe even spot some birds. Don't forget to stop by the visitors center to learn more about the diverse wildlife that calls this refuge home.Herman Baker Park: If you're looking for a place to indulge in outdoor activities, this park is perfect for you. Go hiking or biking along the scenic trails, surrounded by lush greenery. Take a break and have a picnic with your loved ones, enjoying the fresh air and tranquil atmosphere.Lake Texoma: For water enthusiasts, Lake Texoma is a paradise. Spend a day fishing for bass, catfish, or crappie, or take your boat out for a relaxing cruise on the lake. With its clear blue waters and sandy beaches, it's also a great spot for swimming and sunbathing.Eisenhower State Park: Located just a short drive away from Sherman, this park offers camping and picnicking facilities, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in nature. Explore the hiking trails, go birdwatching, or simply relax by the lake and enjoy the picturesque views.With these outdoor activities and parks, Sherman offers a wide range of opportunities to enjoy the freedom of the outdoors. Whether you prefer hiking through nature reserves, fishing in serene lakes, or simply relaxing in a peaceful park, there's something for everyone to enjoy in Sherman's outdoor spaces.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre Pets Allowed at the Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge?Pets aren't allowed at the Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge. The refuge is dedicated to preserving the natural habitat and wildlife in the area, so pets could potentially disturb or harm the wildlife. It's important to respect these guidelines to ensure the safety and well-being of the animals.However, there are many other outdoor parks and attractions in Sherman where you can bring your furry friends for some fun and exercise.What Are the Opening Hours of the Harber Wildlife Museum?The opening hours of the Harber Wildlife Museum are from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM, Monday through Friday. However, please note that these hours may be subject to change, so it's always a good idea to check their website or call ahead before planning your visit.The museum offers a fascinating collection of animal displays and is a great educational experience for all ages. Don't miss out on this captivating attraction in Sherman, Texas!Does Cellarmans Pub and Brewery Have a Patio or Outdoor Seating Area?Yes, Cellarmans Pub and Brewery does have a patio or outdoor seating area.It's a lively pub located at 2130 Texoma Pkwy in Sherman, TX.With flavorful sodas and beers, it's a romantic spot for couples with delightful pizzas and a laid-back vibe.You can also enjoy mixed drinks, wines, and fresh beers.Can You Rent Tubes or Floats at the Splash Family Aquatic Center?Yes, you can rent tubes or floats at the Splash Family Aquatic Center.It's a fantastic way to enjoy a refreshing and exciting day in Sherman.The center offers outdoor waterpark fun for visitors of all ages, with spray features, slides, and a lazy river to relax on.Is There a Fee for Parking at Lake Texoma for Fishing and Boating?Yes, there is a fee for parking at Lake Texoma for fishing and boating.The fee helps to maintain the parking areas and facilities at the lake.The amount of the fee can vary depending on the size of the vehicle and the length of time you plan to park.There are different options available, such as daily passes or annual passes, so you can choose the option that best suits your needs.It's important to note that the fee for parking is separate from any other fees or permits that may be required for fishing or boating activities at Lake Texoma.Be sure to check the current fee schedule and any restrictions or regulations before visiting the lake.ConclusionIn conclusion, Sherman, TX offers a diverse range of activities and attractions that cater to everyone's interests. Whether you're a nature lover, history enthusiast, music fan, or simply looking for a fun day out, this vibrant city has something for you.From exploring the beautiful wildlife and nature areas to immersing yourself in the rich cultural heritage, enjoying craft beers at breweries and pubs, or indulging in shopping and dining, Sherman, TX promises an unforgettable experience.So, come and discover all that this amazing city has to offer! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 01:12 manwnomelanin Understanding 401(k) loans and early withdrawals
Tapping into your retirement funds, specifically 401(k)s, to help beef up a down payment is a reoccurring topic on this subreddit.
Accessing retirement funds is a big decision. And like with any big decision, you should understand the ins and outs before you move forward.
An important note before we get started: 401(k)s are not IRAs. 401(k)s do not have the same rules as IRAs. This post is for education regarding the implications of accessing 401(k) funds early - via loan or withdrawal - specifically for the purpose of purchasing a home.
In a nutshell, there are two types of 401(k)s: Traditional and Roth.
Traditional 401(k): No taxes now, taxes later
Employees contribute a portion of their pre-tax income to their Traditional 401(k) account through payroll deductions. This means that the money is taken out of their paycheck before taxes are calculated, reducing their taxable income for the year. Investment gains within the 401(k) account grow tax-deferred, meaning taxes are not owed until withdrawals are made in retirement. Some employers offer matching contributions to their employees' traditional 401(k) accounts, which is essentially free money added to the employee's retirement savings.
Penalty-free withdrawals from a Traditional 401(k) are permitted at age 591/2. These withdrawals are taxed as ordinary income in retirement. This means that when employees start taking distributions from their account, they will owe income tax on the amount withdrawn, rather than capital gains tax, as is typical for investment gains.
Roth 401(k): Taxes now, no taxes later
Employees contribute a portion of their after-tax income to their Roth 401(k) account through payroll deductions. Unlike traditional 401(k) contributions, Roth 401(k) contributions do not reduce taxable income in the year they are made.
While employers may still offer matching contributions to a Roth 401(k), these matching contributions are made on a pre-tax basis and are deposited into a separate traditional 401(k) account. This means that while employees contribute to their Roth 401(k) with after-tax dollars, employer matches are made with pre-tax dollars, and taxes will be owed on withdrawals of the employer contributions.
Penalty-free withdrawals from a Roth 401(k) are permitted once an account has been open for 5 years, and the owner reaches age 591/2. These withdrawals, inclusive of investment gains, are tax-free. Since contributions are made with after-tax dollars, employees have already paid taxes on the money they contribute, so they do not owe taxes on withdrawals in retirement.
^(\Roth 401(k)* funds can be accessed earlier than 591/2 in some cases. See:)) Rule of 55, Rule 72t
And he isn't done.
Traditional 401(k): Taxes on Early Withdrawals
Any amount withdrawn from a traditional 401(k) is generally treated as ordinary income for tax purposes. This means that the withdrawn amount is added to your taxable income for the year in which the withdrawal is made. When made early, you will owe federal income taxes on the withdrawn amount at your marginal\* income tax rate. Additionally, depending on your state of residence, you may owe state income taxes on the withdrawal as well.
Roth 401(k): Taxes on Early Withdrawals
When understanding the rules around early withdrawals from a Roth 401(k), it is important to differentiate between your contributions (money you earned outside the account and put into the account) from your investment gains (money earned by your investments within the account).
What is a marginal tax rate, and why is it important?
Your marginal tax rate is the tax rate you pay on the last dollar of your income. In a progressive tax system like that of the United States, tax rates increase as income rises. Your marginal tax rate corresponds to the highest tax bracket into which your income falls.
For example, let's say the tax system has three brackets:
Your early withdrawals fall into the "last dollar you earned" category. Meaning every (taxable) dollar withdrawn will be taxed at the highest rate possible - 30% in the example above. Your marginal tax rate could be above or below this number. See what your marginal tax bracket is for 2024 here.
Example: Early Withdrawal from Traditional 401(k) for down payment
John and Emily are a 30-year-old married couple looking to purchase their first home in Florida. They earn a combined $150,000/year. Emily has liberally funded her Traditional 401(k) and has amassed a balance of $100,000. They have also been saving for a downpayment on their first home. They have managed to accumulate $50,000 for a down payment and feel ready to start shopping.
John and Emily find themselves under contract on a $250,000 home that suits all their needs (lol, i know, bear with me). They expect closing costs of $15,000. Unfortunately, their mortgage lender decides they are only willing to extend $200,000 (John has some credit card debt and drives a Ferrari he bought with 0 down).
Uh oh. John and Emily do not have enough cash for both the down payment and the $15,000 in closing costs. Good thing Emily has some extra money stashed away for retirement, right? Let's see what it costs for Emily to tap into her Traditional 401(k)...
Emily withdraws $15,000 for the closing costs. The withdrawal will first be hit with the 10% penalty, which is $1,500.
John and Emily file jointly, putting them in the 22% marginal federal tax bracket. They will be subject to an additional $3,300 in taxes from the distribution.
Fortunately, they're in Florida, so there are no state taxes owed.
It cost Emily and John $4,800 to withdraw their $15,000.
John and Emily walk away with $10,200 cash to show for their $15,000 withdrawal. Had they never touched that $15,000, it would have been worth $261,741 by the time they retired at age 60.
See how expensive an early, unqualified Traditional 401(k) withdrawal would be for you.
Ok, so withdrawing seems like a bad idea. What about borrowing from a 401(k)?
By borrowing the money from your 401(k), the money is removed from what it was invested in. If those investments return 25% during the period which the money is borrowed, you, unfortunately, do not reap the rewards. Conversely, if those investments return -25%, you, fortunately, do not bear those losses.
Sounds like an even-sided risk, right? It's a 50/50 chance the market goes up or down? Not necessarily.
401(k) loans typically cost $75-$125 to apply and originate the loan, which is actually pretty good. For those of you looking at your settlement statements, this looks pretty attractive compared to your mortgage origination fee and other up-front borrowing expenses.
Typically, retirement plans charge the current prime rate (8.50%, currently) plus 1% or 2% in interest on 401(k) loans. That interest, along with your repayments, is deposited into your account, and reinvested. Your repayments are deducted from your paycheck, although this time, after-tax. That means, for every $1 you pay back to the loan, you need to earn about $1.30 (give or take, depending on your state and federal tax bracket).
It is important to note that, although you are "paying yourself back", the interest is not free.
Interest on 401(k) loans is designed to keep you on track for retirement. As previously stated, your money is withdrawn from the market, so it will miss out the full benefits of compound growth during the repayment period. In other words: returns that would have otherwise been earned passively, you are now footing the bill for - with after-tax dollars - and it still might not be enough.
Opportunity Cost: Not Seen, but Felt
The typical 401(k) loan term is 5 years, although it can be paid back quicker. Historically, the stock market sees positive returns over a 5-year time frame. Over the past 5 years (as of April 30,2024), the S&P 500 has seen returns of 70.94%, or 11.32% annualized. The S&P 500 Index delivered its worst five-year return of -6.6% per year over the five years ending in February 2009.
As you can see, it's not quite a 50/50 shot at whether the market will see positive returns over a 5-year period. As you increase the time frame, positive market returns become even more reliable.
Even at today's higher prime rate, the interest rate on a 401(k) loan would not have kept pace with S&P 500 over the last 5 years. This means you would end up with a lower 401(k) balance, and you foot the bill for the growth.
Example: Taking a loan from a Traditional 401(k) for a down payment
Anne borrowed from her 401(k) in 2019 at a 6% interest rate in order to increase her down payment on her condo.
Assuming $10,000 borrowed at 6%, Anne will have made $11,580 in total payments by the end of the term. That $10,000, if left never borrowed, would be worth $15,357.
In order to pay that $11,580, the Anne earned $15,054, and had to pause normal contributions to the 401(k) that would have otherwise deferred taxes on those earnings.
In the end, that someone has $11,580 in their 401k - all paid in with after-tax dollars. Had the money never been borrowed, and Anne contributed that $15,054 earned to their 401(k), her 401(k) balance would be $30,411 - a difference of $18,831 at the end of the 5-year period.
After 30-years, that difference is somewhere in the ballpark of $548,000.\*
^(\Calculation assumes $15,054 in earnings was invested monthly at a flat rate of $250.90/month for 60 months at a 11.32% average annual return, then compounded at 10% average annual monthly return with no additional contributions.)*
Caveat: that $10,000 was invested in her condo, and that is important to factor.
Assuming her condo has increased in value by 50% over the past 5 years (8.45% annualized rate of return), that $10,000 is worth now worth $15,000 in home equity.
Concluding the 5-year period, Anne as a total of $26,580 to show for her decision to borrow between her $11,580 401(k) balance and $15,000 home equity. Her net worth is $3,831 less than it would be had she not taken out the loan.
submitted by manwnomelanin to FirstTimeHomeBuyer [link] [comments]
Accessing retirement funds is a big decision. And like with any big decision, you should understand the ins and outs before you move forward.
An important note before we get started: 401(k)s are not IRAs. 401(k)s do not have the same rules as IRAs. This post is for education regarding the implications of accessing 401(k) funds early - via loan or withdrawal - specifically for the purpose of purchasing a home.
How 401(k)s Work
Your 401(k) is an employer-sponsored retirement savings plan. It is an account within which you can invest in various funds for growth until retirement. All transactions that occur within the 401(k) account are tax sheltered. This means that any income or investment gains are exempt from all forms of taxation. Investments can be bought and sold, dividends can be collected, and Uncle Sam will keep his grubby hands off of the proceeds - for as long as they remain within the 401(k).In a nutshell, there are two types of 401(k)s: Traditional and Roth.
Traditional 401(k): No taxes now, taxes later
Employees contribute a portion of their pre-tax income to their Traditional 401(k) account through payroll deductions. This means that the money is taken out of their paycheck before taxes are calculated, reducing their taxable income for the year. Investment gains within the 401(k) account grow tax-deferred, meaning taxes are not owed until withdrawals are made in retirement. Some employers offer matching contributions to their employees' traditional 401(k) accounts, which is essentially free money added to the employee's retirement savings.
Penalty-free withdrawals from a Traditional 401(k) are permitted at age 591/2. These withdrawals are taxed as ordinary income in retirement. This means that when employees start taking distributions from their account, they will owe income tax on the amount withdrawn, rather than capital gains tax, as is typical for investment gains.
Roth 401(k): Taxes now, no taxes later
Employees contribute a portion of their after-tax income to their Roth 401(k) account through payroll deductions. Unlike traditional 401(k) contributions, Roth 401(k) contributions do not reduce taxable income in the year they are made.
While employers may still offer matching contributions to a Roth 401(k), these matching contributions are made on a pre-tax basis and are deposited into a separate traditional 401(k) account. This means that while employees contribute to their Roth 401(k) with after-tax dollars, employer matches are made with pre-tax dollars, and taxes will be owed on withdrawals of the employer contributions.
Penalty-free withdrawals from a Roth 401(k) are permitted once an account has been open for 5 years, and the owner reaches age 591/2. These withdrawals, inclusive of investment gains, are tax-free. Since contributions are made with after-tax dollars, employees have already paid taxes on the money they contribute, so they do not owe taxes on withdrawals in retirement.
^(\Roth 401(k)* funds can be accessed earlier than 591/2 in some cases. See:)) Rule of 55, Rule 72t
Early Withdrawal Taxes and Penalties
Withdrawing funds early from your 401(k) is costly. For both Traditional 401(k)s and Roth 401(k)s, a 10% penalty is paid on the distributions. So, let's say you withdraw $10,000 for your downpayment. The distribution will be reduced to $9,000. Uncle Sam is taking $1,000 for touching your retirement savings early. Ouch!And he isn't done.
Traditional 401(k): Taxes on Early Withdrawals
Any amount withdrawn from a traditional 401(k) is generally treated as ordinary income for tax purposes. This means that the withdrawn amount is added to your taxable income for the year in which the withdrawal is made. When made early, you will owe federal income taxes on the withdrawn amount at your marginal\* income tax rate. Additionally, depending on your state of residence, you may owe state income taxes on the withdrawal as well.
Roth 401(k): Taxes on Early Withdrawals
When understanding the rules around early withdrawals from a Roth 401(k), it is important to differentiate between your contributions (money you earned outside the account and put into the account) from your investment gains (money earned by your investments within the account).
- Contributions: Since taxes were already paid on the employee (your) contributions, you can always withdraw them *tax-*free (but not penalty-free).
- Gains: Taxes have not been paid on the investment gains, so taxes will be owed on the withdrawal. The withdrawn gains will again be taxed at your marginal* tax rate.
What is a marginal tax rate, and why is it important?
Your marginal tax rate is the tax rate you pay on the last dollar of your income. In a progressive tax system like that of the United States, tax rates increase as income rises. Your marginal tax rate corresponds to the highest tax bracket into which your income falls.
For example, let's say the tax system has three brackets:
- 10% for income up to $10,000
- 20% for income between $10,001 and $50,000
- 30% for income above $50,000
Your early withdrawals fall into the "last dollar you earned" category. Meaning every (taxable) dollar withdrawn will be taxed at the highest rate possible - 30% in the example above. Your marginal tax rate could be above or below this number. See what your marginal tax bracket is for 2024 here.
Example: Early Withdrawal from Traditional 401(k) for down payment
John and Emily are a 30-year-old married couple looking to purchase their first home in Florida. They earn a combined $150,000/year. Emily has liberally funded her Traditional 401(k) and has amassed a balance of $100,000. They have also been saving for a downpayment on their first home. They have managed to accumulate $50,000 for a down payment and feel ready to start shopping.
John and Emily find themselves under contract on a $250,000 home that suits all their needs (lol, i know, bear with me). They expect closing costs of $15,000. Unfortunately, their mortgage lender decides they are only willing to extend $200,000 (John has some credit card debt and drives a Ferrari he bought with 0 down).
Uh oh. John and Emily do not have enough cash for both the down payment and the $15,000 in closing costs. Good thing Emily has some extra money stashed away for retirement, right? Let's see what it costs for Emily to tap into her Traditional 401(k)...
Emily withdraws $15,000 for the closing costs. The withdrawal will first be hit with the 10% penalty, which is $1,500.
John and Emily file jointly, putting them in the 22% marginal federal tax bracket. They will be subject to an additional $3,300 in taxes from the distribution.
Fortunately, they're in Florida, so there are no state taxes owed.
It cost Emily and John $4,800 to withdraw their $15,000.
John and Emily walk away with $10,200 cash to show for their $15,000 withdrawal. Had they never touched that $15,000, it would have been worth $261,741 by the time they retired at age 60.
See how expensive an early, unqualified Traditional 401(k) withdrawal would be for you.
Ok, so withdrawing seems like a bad idea. What about borrowing from a 401(k)?
What is a 401(k) loan?
A 401(k) loan is a loan taken out by a participant in a 401(k) retirement plan, where the individual borrows money from their own 401(k) account balance and agrees to repay it according to the terms set by the plan administrator, typically with interest.By borrowing the money from your 401(k), the money is removed from what it was invested in. If those investments return 25% during the period which the money is borrowed, you, unfortunately, do not reap the rewards. Conversely, if those investments return -25%, you, fortunately, do not bear those losses.
Sounds like an even-sided risk, right? It's a 50/50 chance the market goes up or down? Not necessarily.
401(k) Loan: The Costs to Borrow
Traditional Borrowing Costs: Fees and Interest401(k) loans typically cost $75-$125 to apply and originate the loan, which is actually pretty good. For those of you looking at your settlement statements, this looks pretty attractive compared to your mortgage origination fee and other up-front borrowing expenses.
Typically, retirement plans charge the current prime rate (8.50%, currently) plus 1% or 2% in interest on 401(k) loans. That interest, along with your repayments, is deposited into your account, and reinvested. Your repayments are deducted from your paycheck, although this time, after-tax. That means, for every $1 you pay back to the loan, you need to earn about $1.30 (give or take, depending on your state and federal tax bracket).
It is important to note that, although you are "paying yourself back", the interest is not free.
Interest on 401(k) loans is designed to keep you on track for retirement. As previously stated, your money is withdrawn from the market, so it will miss out the full benefits of compound growth during the repayment period. In other words: returns that would have otherwise been earned passively, you are now footing the bill for - with after-tax dollars - and it still might not be enough.
Opportunity Cost: Not Seen, but Felt
The typical 401(k) loan term is 5 years, although it can be paid back quicker. Historically, the stock market sees positive returns over a 5-year time frame. Over the past 5 years (as of April 30,2024), the S&P 500 has seen returns of 70.94%, or 11.32% annualized. The S&P 500 Index delivered its worst five-year return of -6.6% per year over the five years ending in February 2009.
As you can see, it's not quite a 50/50 shot at whether the market will see positive returns over a 5-year period. As you increase the time frame, positive market returns become even more reliable.
Even at today's higher prime rate, the interest rate on a 401(k) loan would not have kept pace with S&P 500 over the last 5 years. This means you would end up with a lower 401(k) balance, and you foot the bill for the growth.
Example: Taking a loan from a Traditional 401(k) for a down payment
Anne borrowed from her 401(k) in 2019 at a 6% interest rate in order to increase her down payment on her condo.
Assuming $10,000 borrowed at 6%, Anne will have made $11,580 in total payments by the end of the term. That $10,000, if left never borrowed, would be worth $15,357.
In order to pay that $11,580, the Anne earned $15,054, and had to pause normal contributions to the 401(k) that would have otherwise deferred taxes on those earnings.
In the end, that someone has $11,580 in their 401k - all paid in with after-tax dollars. Had the money never been borrowed, and Anne contributed that $15,054 earned to their 401(k), her 401(k) balance would be $30,411 - a difference of $18,831 at the end of the 5-year period.
After 30-years, that difference is somewhere in the ballpark of $548,000.\*
^(\Calculation assumes $15,054 in earnings was invested monthly at a flat rate of $250.90/month for 60 months at a 11.32% average annual return, then compounded at 10% average annual monthly return with no additional contributions.)*
Caveat: that $10,000 was invested in her condo, and that is important to factor.
Assuming her condo has increased in value by 50% over the past 5 years (8.45% annualized rate of return), that $10,000 is worth now worth $15,000 in home equity.
Concluding the 5-year period, Anne as a total of $26,580 to show for her decision to borrow between her $11,580 401(k) balance and $15,000 home equity. Her net worth is $3,831 less than it would be had she not taken out the loan.
Summary
While accessing 401(k) funds for a down payment on a home may seem like a viable option, it's crucial to weigh the associated costs, penalties, and long-term implications. Understanding the intricacies of early withdrawals and loans from 401(k) accounts empowers individuals to make informed financial decisions that align with their short-term goals and long-term goals.2024.05.16 01:10 ButterscotchLess9831 New onset migraines
Hey all,
I just turned 30 recently. I’ve been dealing with significant sciatica for the past year and this has really thrown my life out of whack so I have been thinking my migraines might be due to stress, but I’ve never dealt with them before. I’m waiting on an appointment to discuss them further.
For the past few months I started getting what I can only describe as sciatica-like tingling or a rushing water feeling down the left side of my head. I started getting morning headaches about a month ago and noticed I was taking Advil and Tylenol a lot more often. They would go away for a bit and then come back in the evening. I seem to be having headaches more often than not, at least daily, worst in the morning.
On Sunday I saw what looked like flashing in my upper right vision for a few moments. The next morning I woke up with a headache so bad I called off work, and I threw up twice. It lasted all day, and the pain was more concentrated at my right temple.
I had the face tingling three times in the last three days and each time it is followed with a headache and a pressure-like feeling in my face to some degree. I thought maybe sinuses, but I have no nasal drip or congestion.
I’m a bit concerned as the aura and headaches are coming on more and more frequently, and I’ve never really dealt with headaches or migraines before. Especially a headache so bad I puked! I also can’t identify any triggers. I eat well, drink loads of water, take good care of my body and limit caffeine to the morning.
Any thoughts or advice?
submitted by ButterscotchLess9831 to migraine [link] [comments]
I just turned 30 recently. I’ve been dealing with significant sciatica for the past year and this has really thrown my life out of whack so I have been thinking my migraines might be due to stress, but I’ve never dealt with them before. I’m waiting on an appointment to discuss them further.
For the past few months I started getting what I can only describe as sciatica-like tingling or a rushing water feeling down the left side of my head. I started getting morning headaches about a month ago and noticed I was taking Advil and Tylenol a lot more often. They would go away for a bit and then come back in the evening. I seem to be having headaches more often than not, at least daily, worst in the morning.
On Sunday I saw what looked like flashing in my upper right vision for a few moments. The next morning I woke up with a headache so bad I called off work, and I threw up twice. It lasted all day, and the pain was more concentrated at my right temple.
I had the face tingling three times in the last three days and each time it is followed with a headache and a pressure-like feeling in my face to some degree. I thought maybe sinuses, but I have no nasal drip or congestion.
I’m a bit concerned as the aura and headaches are coming on more and more frequently, and I’ve never really dealt with headaches or migraines before. Especially a headache so bad I puked! I also can’t identify any triggers. I eat well, drink loads of water, take good care of my body and limit caffeine to the morning.
Any thoughts or advice?
2024.05.16 01:10 jubcandy My Journey to IFS and Healing
I found IFS through an AI therapy platform earlier this year and it's been life changing. I'm starting a new chapter of my life, thinking about where to move next and what job to take.
I came from an immigrant family that's always been focused on being high-achieving. In the past, I went after the titles and fancy jobs but always just ended up feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. So, I wanted to make a change. I started looking for new jobs, but as I was doing that, I started feeling sad and hopeless. Through the parts work, I realized that I have a kind and wise part of myself that's been trying to build a happy and balanced life. And another part of myself that's just been trying to achieve and win an unwinnable rat race.
I've been fighting the kind and balanced part of myself, berating it, and not letting it to exist. When I started acknowledging this part's existence and figuring out what it needs, I started to feel better. I started letting that part feel sad because I wasn't making decisions towards the happy and balanced life I wanted to live. Rather than getting mad at this part and trying to push it away, I listened to it. And I made a change! I stopped going after the fancy titles and started looking for something that would be more fulfilling and allow me to spend time with my loved ones. Deep down, I knew how to live a more balanced and happy life, and this part was guiding me towards that.
I'm still working through it and getting to know my different parts. I have a therapist but I didn't find IFS until I came across Heartfelt, the AI therapy platform. Not sure what the future holds but feeling grateful that I'm one step further on my healing journey.
submitted by jubcandy to InternalFamilySystems [link] [comments]
I came from an immigrant family that's always been focused on being high-achieving. In the past, I went after the titles and fancy jobs but always just ended up feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. So, I wanted to make a change. I started looking for new jobs, but as I was doing that, I started feeling sad and hopeless. Through the parts work, I realized that I have a kind and wise part of myself that's been trying to build a happy and balanced life. And another part of myself that's just been trying to achieve and win an unwinnable rat race.
I've been fighting the kind and balanced part of myself, berating it, and not letting it to exist. When I started acknowledging this part's existence and figuring out what it needs, I started to feel better. I started letting that part feel sad because I wasn't making decisions towards the happy and balanced life I wanted to live. Rather than getting mad at this part and trying to push it away, I listened to it. And I made a change! I stopped going after the fancy titles and started looking for something that would be more fulfilling and allow me to spend time with my loved ones. Deep down, I knew how to live a more balanced and happy life, and this part was guiding me towards that.
I'm still working through it and getting to know my different parts. I have a therapist but I didn't find IFS until I came across Heartfelt, the AI therapy platform. Not sure what the future holds but feeling grateful that I'm one step further on my healing journey.
2024.05.16 01:09 you-never-know- My mom gave me a list of why my baby is autistic
My mom is the best. Loving, selfless, creative, just all around amazing.
However, she's a bit of a hypochondriac, which is where I get it from. I'm the same way.
She came to me today with a list of signs that my newly 1-year-old baby is autistic. I have been noticing these oddities with him and really just kind of chalking it up to him being a little weirdo, pushing away the autistic idea. But today she said she was so concerned that she made a list and googled them.
She said she didn't want to scare me and in the moment I wasn't, but of course now that I'm by myself and thinking about it I'm terrified. I know autism is not an indicator of intelligence, or even emotional intelligence or connection with people. My little sister is autistic. But of course more severe autism is super scary (for him and his future). I know nobody would ever evaluate or diagnose him at this age and I'm not looking for that but I kind of wish she didn't say anything. It really did no good.
submitted by you-never-know- to breakingmom [link] [comments]
However, she's a bit of a hypochondriac, which is where I get it from. I'm the same way.
She came to me today with a list of signs that my newly 1-year-old baby is autistic. I have been noticing these oddities with him and really just kind of chalking it up to him being a little weirdo, pushing away the autistic idea. But today she said she was so concerned that she made a list and googled them.
- He doesn't like his hands touched (pulls away)
- He does "finger flicking" to touch new objects
- He's completely obsessed with wheels. This is true, if something can be knocked over so he can access the wheels to spin them, he will. He has been obsessed with fans, wheels, anything round and spinny since he was an infant. The only way he wouldn't scream in the car is if we had the portable fan for him to look at.
- He has an issue with some textures of food.
- He sometimes goes into his own little world, especially when he's spinning something.
- He's been banging his head against our head and faces for the past few weeks when he's excited and giving us love.
- He pinches us when he's nervous.
- Loud noises terrify him
She said she didn't want to scare me and in the moment I wasn't, but of course now that I'm by myself and thinking about it I'm terrified. I know autism is not an indicator of intelligence, or even emotional intelligence or connection with people. My little sister is autistic. But of course more severe autism is super scary (for him and his future). I know nobody would ever evaluate or diagnose him at this age and I'm not looking for that but I kind of wish she didn't say anything. It really did no good.
2024.05.16 01:09 d-ejjjjj Needing faith/sobriety
I’ve been a heavy drinker since I was a teen (13/14) and I’m now 28. I’ve went through a lot of trauma throughout my life and it puts me in a dark place. My mom was an alcoholic and my dad died when I was 7. Got into a horrible relationship for the past 11 years w/domestic violence and alcoholism.
I have 3 beautiful children but none of them stay w/me as I dropped out of university after an incident w/their father (he held a rifle to me in front of my kids) and I’m now struggling w/addictions and I didn’t want them struggling next to me. I’m very heartbroken and I hate being home alone. I tried to take my life multiple times when I was intoxicated and I got into hard drugs for abit but I stopped right away because I over dosed. I’m really struggling to get back to who I once was. I struggle so hard to remain sober, I’ll be sober for 4-5 days and I’ll go on a bender. This last time I was hospitalized because my panic attacks were severe and I had to be sedated. The withdrawals were severe.
I’m attending programming and n/a meetings, but it’s so hard to stay sober. I struggle with having suicidal thoughts. I have antidepressants but I haven’t been taking them because they cause me intense anxiety and panic attacks so I quit those too. I’ve been reading multiple threads on here and thought I’d share my story because I’m really struggling and I always think of my kids but it’s hard hanging onto what little life I have left. As much as I want too I can’t do that to my kids because I remember how it felt when my dad died and I’m 28 still grieving.
I’m asking positive words or similar stories to help me get through this because I’m feeling defeated trying to remain sober.
submitted by d-ejjjjj to alcoholicsanonymous [link] [comments]
I have 3 beautiful children but none of them stay w/me as I dropped out of university after an incident w/their father (he held a rifle to me in front of my kids) and I’m now struggling w/addictions and I didn’t want them struggling next to me. I’m very heartbroken and I hate being home alone. I tried to take my life multiple times when I was intoxicated and I got into hard drugs for abit but I stopped right away because I over dosed. I’m really struggling to get back to who I once was. I struggle so hard to remain sober, I’ll be sober for 4-5 days and I’ll go on a bender. This last time I was hospitalized because my panic attacks were severe and I had to be sedated. The withdrawals were severe.
I’m attending programming and n/a meetings, but it’s so hard to stay sober. I struggle with having suicidal thoughts. I have antidepressants but I haven’t been taking them because they cause me intense anxiety and panic attacks so I quit those too. I’ve been reading multiple threads on here and thought I’d share my story because I’m really struggling and I always think of my kids but it’s hard hanging onto what little life I have left. As much as I want too I can’t do that to my kids because I remember how it felt when my dad died and I’m 28 still grieving.
I’m asking positive words or similar stories to help me get through this because I’m feeling defeated trying to remain sober.
2024.05.16 01:08 Big-Organization6522 I keep doing this
I keep having thoughts of me dying I keep having obsessive thoughts of it. It keeps saying you want to die. "I'm ready to die" I keep praying in my head to die. I don't want to though I keep having thoughts that say that If you see my post history you will see a bunch of things. Everytime I see things about detah I get get anxiety thinking that's gonna happen to me. I had just had this stop but it's here again after my blashmeous thoughts went away. Ik that their just thoughts but they control me like crazyy. All I think about is how peaceful it must feel and it says that I want to die and I keep praying in my head that I do BUT I DONT BUT MY HEAD TELLS ME I DO AND I FEEL LIKE I DO OH WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO. I keep thinking how peaceful it must be and it's making me think im dying I don't want to I have all these thoughts and bad thoughts.
I also I have thoughts that say I have to do this before "I die" It's like ik It makes me feel so uneasy for the past month ever since obsessive thoughts oh Help me what do I do. I hate hearing about death so much. I just can't it makes me feel as if I'm ready to go but IM NOT AND I DONT WANT TO FR. Have yall had these thoughts before? please tell me I'm only 14
submitted by Big-Organization6522 to Christianity [link] [comments]
I also I have thoughts that say I have to do this before "I die" It's like ik It makes me feel so uneasy for the past month ever since obsessive thoughts oh Help me what do I do. I hate hearing about death so much. I just can't it makes me feel as if I'm ready to go but IM NOT AND I DONT WANT TO FR. Have yall had these thoughts before? please tell me I'm only 14
2024.05.16 01:07 Mrmander20 [Hard Luck Hermit] 2 - Chapter 7: Early Retirements
Two years ago, Corey Vash got abducted by aliens, and a few months after that, he saved the universe -even if it was mostly on accident. Thanks to the skills of his new bounty hunter friends and no small amount of luck, Corey Vash saved the day, but hero status isn’t all its cracked up to be. The parades and the free drinks are over, leaving the bounty hunters with nothing but the expectations of a frightened universe and the overbearing attention of governments who want picture perfect heroes the only mostly sober crew aren’t cut out to be. With the shadow of another invasion still looming, a murderous new threat starts to stalk their every move, forcing Corey and the crew of the Wild Card Wanderer to move past the mess of bullets, booze, and blind luck that’s kept them alive and become actual heroes -even if they aren’t very good at it.
[First Book][Previous Chapter][Cover Art][Patreon]
Though Kamak did not accept the “job” to attend the new military installation’s unveiling, he still kept an eye on it. The Wild Card Wanderer had taken to the stars, orbiting Centerpoint at a distance, to watch the installation far away from any pomp and ceremony. The massive gun battery drifted into place and was joined to the rest of Centerpoint’s honeycombed platforms, fusing the weapons to the neighboring residential and business districts. The platform full of short-range cluster armaments was an effective deterrent to any Horuk attacks, and a blighted eyesore on the otherwise sleek, modern space station.
Kamak scowled. Centerpoint had been designed as the shining beacon for universal society, the best of everything cooperation could accomplish. Now they’d strapped a gun to it. There had always been outlying defensive stations and security fleets, but seeing a cluster of guns the size of a small city right next to the arts district felt different. It felt wrong.
“I don’t like any of this,” Kamak said. “Smells like they’re up to something.”
Kamak had, naturally, gotten his crew up to speed on everything Ghost had said, to predictably mixed reactions.
“Luckily for us, I think their intent is fairly transparent,” Farsus said. “They see more value in us as propaganda than as bounty hunters.”
“It’s never that simple,” Corey sighed.
“No offense, Corvash, but you’re a little paranoid to begin with,” Tooley said. “And the whole Morrakesh thing probably didn’t help.”
Corey owned a laser sword now, and he still carried a knife in his boot everywhere he went. He’d also insisted on installing an upgraded security system in the Wild Card Wanderer, and, thanks to the fact that Tooley now slept next to him regularly, she knew he was an incredibly light sleeper, frequently waking with a start at even the smallest noise.
“How is some secret Ghost assassin guy showing up to threaten us not something to be worried about?”
“I just think Farsus has a point,” Tooley said. “Now that we’re bigshot heroes they want us retired so we can’t fuck up and get ourselves killed or embarrass ourselves.”
“I’d think you’d be more offended by that,” Corey said.
“I am very offended, but they’re also giving me lots of money,” Tooley said. As boring as the rich people gigs were, they paid well. “It’s creating some very conflicting emotions.”
Tooley had an ego the size of a galaxy, but a love of money that was just as big if not bigger. She had already paid off the sizable cost of the Wild Card Wanderer, and was stocking up savings for the future, and maybe even a new, better ship.
“God, I know,” Kamak said. The money was making it very hard to be as mad as he wanted to be. Having been on the bad side of a conspiracy to make the entire universe hate him, he found it hard to be mad about a conspiracy to keep him famous and successful. “I’d almost rather they were being assholes about it. It’d make it a lot easier to be mad.”
“We keep being stubborn about it, we’ll probably get them there,” Corey said.
“Well I’m real good at being stubborn,” Kamak said. “So I guess we’ll find out.”
“Do we have to?”
All eyes went to Doprel. His massive frame looked hollow and deflated.
“What’s the point?” Doprel asked. “What’s the endgame? Where’s our win condition? Even as a matter of pride, like, to prove we’re not fuckups, isn’t saving the universe enough for that?”
Kamak nodded. That was a pretty big boost to the ego.
“Maybe it is a good idea for us to quit while we’re ahead,” Doprel said. “Even just logistically speaking, it’s going to be fucking hard to top stopping the Invasion, guys.”
“Yeah, well, that’s an easier choice for you guys to make than me,” Kamak said. “Rest of you fuckers are going to be dead in a few decades. I still got the better part of three centuries in me, at least.”
Kamak leaned back in his seat and watched the guns on Centerpoint spring to life, scanning the stars for any sign of an incoming threat. For a moment, one of the colossal guns turned their direction, and Kamak stared right down the barrel. Corey watched the guns turn as they all drifted through empty space.
“Do you guys want to take a vacation?”
“Vacation? Now?”
“Yeah,” Corey said. “We haven’t really taken a breather since we stopped the Invasion. I think maybe we all need to take some time to relax and unpack.”
“I don’t know. Feels like we’d be giving these assholes a taste of what they want.”
“Let them think that,” Corey said. “Let’s take a break. Not think about work for a while, and see how we feel about retiring or not retiring in a week or two.”
“You want to take some time off, I won’t stop you,” Kamak said. “Take your vacation, if you want.”
“If he’s going, I’m going,” Tooley said.
“Ah, of course you are,” Kamak said. “I try to forget you two are shacked up.”
“You can always pay for shuttles,” Tooley said. “I’m not the only pilot in the universe. Even if I am the best.”
“Not ditching me that easily,” Kamak said. “Fine. You kids pick somewhere to go and take your fucking vacation. I’ll get dragged along.”
submitted by Mrmander20 to redditserials [link] [comments]
[First Book][Previous Chapter][Cover Art][Patreon]
Though Kamak did not accept the “job” to attend the new military installation’s unveiling, he still kept an eye on it. The Wild Card Wanderer had taken to the stars, orbiting Centerpoint at a distance, to watch the installation far away from any pomp and ceremony. The massive gun battery drifted into place and was joined to the rest of Centerpoint’s honeycombed platforms, fusing the weapons to the neighboring residential and business districts. The platform full of short-range cluster armaments was an effective deterrent to any Horuk attacks, and a blighted eyesore on the otherwise sleek, modern space station.
Kamak scowled. Centerpoint had been designed as the shining beacon for universal society, the best of everything cooperation could accomplish. Now they’d strapped a gun to it. There had always been outlying defensive stations and security fleets, but seeing a cluster of guns the size of a small city right next to the arts district felt different. It felt wrong.
“I don’t like any of this,” Kamak said. “Smells like they’re up to something.”
Kamak had, naturally, gotten his crew up to speed on everything Ghost had said, to predictably mixed reactions.
“Luckily for us, I think their intent is fairly transparent,” Farsus said. “They see more value in us as propaganda than as bounty hunters.”
“It’s never that simple,” Corey sighed.
“No offense, Corvash, but you’re a little paranoid to begin with,” Tooley said. “And the whole Morrakesh thing probably didn’t help.”
Corey owned a laser sword now, and he still carried a knife in his boot everywhere he went. He’d also insisted on installing an upgraded security system in the Wild Card Wanderer, and, thanks to the fact that Tooley now slept next to him regularly, she knew he was an incredibly light sleeper, frequently waking with a start at even the smallest noise.
“How is some secret Ghost assassin guy showing up to threaten us not something to be worried about?”
“I just think Farsus has a point,” Tooley said. “Now that we’re bigshot heroes they want us retired so we can’t fuck up and get ourselves killed or embarrass ourselves.”
“I’d think you’d be more offended by that,” Corey said.
“I am very offended, but they’re also giving me lots of money,” Tooley said. As boring as the rich people gigs were, they paid well. “It’s creating some very conflicting emotions.”
Tooley had an ego the size of a galaxy, but a love of money that was just as big if not bigger. She had already paid off the sizable cost of the Wild Card Wanderer, and was stocking up savings for the future, and maybe even a new, better ship.
“God, I know,” Kamak said. The money was making it very hard to be as mad as he wanted to be. Having been on the bad side of a conspiracy to make the entire universe hate him, he found it hard to be mad about a conspiracy to keep him famous and successful. “I’d almost rather they were being assholes about it. It’d make it a lot easier to be mad.”
“We keep being stubborn about it, we’ll probably get them there,” Corey said.
“Well I’m real good at being stubborn,” Kamak said. “So I guess we’ll find out.”
“Do we have to?”
All eyes went to Doprel. His massive frame looked hollow and deflated.
“What’s the point?” Doprel asked. “What’s the endgame? Where’s our win condition? Even as a matter of pride, like, to prove we’re not fuckups, isn’t saving the universe enough for that?”
Kamak nodded. That was a pretty big boost to the ego.
“Maybe it is a good idea for us to quit while we’re ahead,” Doprel said. “Even just logistically speaking, it’s going to be fucking hard to top stopping the Invasion, guys.”
“Yeah, well, that’s an easier choice for you guys to make than me,” Kamak said. “Rest of you fuckers are going to be dead in a few decades. I still got the better part of three centuries in me, at least.”
Kamak leaned back in his seat and watched the guns on Centerpoint spring to life, scanning the stars for any sign of an incoming threat. For a moment, one of the colossal guns turned their direction, and Kamak stared right down the barrel. Corey watched the guns turn as they all drifted through empty space.
“Do you guys want to take a vacation?”
“Vacation? Now?”
“Yeah,” Corey said. “We haven’t really taken a breather since we stopped the Invasion. I think maybe we all need to take some time to relax and unpack.”
“I don’t know. Feels like we’d be giving these assholes a taste of what they want.”
“Let them think that,” Corey said. “Let’s take a break. Not think about work for a while, and see how we feel about retiring or not retiring in a week or two.”
“You want to take some time off, I won’t stop you,” Kamak said. “Take your vacation, if you want.”
“If he’s going, I’m going,” Tooley said.
“Ah, of course you are,” Kamak said. “I try to forget you two are shacked up.”
“You can always pay for shuttles,” Tooley said. “I’m not the only pilot in the universe. Even if I am the best.”
“Not ditching me that easily,” Kamak said. “Fine. You kids pick somewhere to go and take your fucking vacation. I’ll get dragged along.”
2024.05.16 01:05 Forward-Investment70 I’ve been sick for a year. I’m losing my mind and I’m losing hope
I’ve been unwell for a year now. I’ve been to countless doctors across countless specialties and no one seems to know what’s wrong with me. I’m so mad that I’ve lost so much time trying to find an answer and feeling down, and so much energy (mental, emotional) fighting a system that isn’t designed to actually help you. I’ve posted quite a few times across different subs here, but I’m once again asking for any leads based on real experiences. Very grateful for folks who have already weighed in, but I’m hoping to get a few more eyes on my symptoms - and if anything, offer me a little hope.
The skinny on what’s happening: Basically I’ve been dealing with pelvic pressure and bloat. Like no matter what I do, it’s there, day and night. It ebbs and flows, and rarely goes away (a little bit on that below). It was sudden, and appeared very suddenly after I finished a course of antibiotics for a UTI. Like, I was normal one day and then the next day it appeared and never went away.
I have a history of chronic UTIs. I went off hormonal birth control, which seems to help a little. The issue was way worse on it than off it.
The only time I have felt like my “normal” self in the past year is during my period and in the couple of days after that. Other than that, it was two weeks during which I was on an antibiotic for a UTI and the week after I finished the course.
There is no pelvic pain. Periods are relatively light last less than 6 days.
The bloat doesn’t respond to dietary changes.
I had fishy- smelling pee at one point that lasted for about a week, but the timing was random and I didn’t eat anything that would cause that. It went away on its own.
Work up so far. - Full gastro work up: SIBO, h pylori, etc. Colonoscopy and endoscopy. Everything was clean. - Gynecology: big IF on endometriosis and adenomyosis - one doctor thinks so, but others disagree (I know not conclusive, but MRI was clean). All other testing was clean. - no autoimmune diseases or endocrinology issues - no allergies - interventional radiology: nutcracke pelvic congestion - not suspected but I did not get a venogram (but I got an MRI) - urology: ultrasound revealed no issues with bladder or kidneys. Doctors do not think that this is a urology issue. I also don’t have any urological issues other than the recurring UTIs
Next steps- I’m seeing an infectious disease specialist and getting tested for ureaplasma. One urologist put in a request but only for one strain (and it came back negative).
What am I missing?
submitted by Forward-Investment70 to Healthyhooha [link] [comments]
The skinny on what’s happening: Basically I’ve been dealing with pelvic pressure and bloat. Like no matter what I do, it’s there, day and night. It ebbs and flows, and rarely goes away (a little bit on that below). It was sudden, and appeared very suddenly after I finished a course of antibiotics for a UTI. Like, I was normal one day and then the next day it appeared and never went away.
I have a history of chronic UTIs. I went off hormonal birth control, which seems to help a little. The issue was way worse on it than off it.
The only time I have felt like my “normal” self in the past year is during my period and in the couple of days after that. Other than that, it was two weeks during which I was on an antibiotic for a UTI and the week after I finished the course.
There is no pelvic pain. Periods are relatively light last less than 6 days.
The bloat doesn’t respond to dietary changes.
I had fishy- smelling pee at one point that lasted for about a week, but the timing was random and I didn’t eat anything that would cause that. It went away on its own.
Work up so far. - Full gastro work up: SIBO, h pylori, etc. Colonoscopy and endoscopy. Everything was clean. - Gynecology: big IF on endometriosis and adenomyosis - one doctor thinks so, but others disagree (I know not conclusive, but MRI was clean). All other testing was clean. - no autoimmune diseases or endocrinology issues - no allergies - interventional radiology: nutcracke pelvic congestion - not suspected but I did not get a venogram (but I got an MRI) - urology: ultrasound revealed no issues with bladder or kidneys. Doctors do not think that this is a urology issue. I also don’t have any urological issues other than the recurring UTIs
Next steps- I’m seeing an infectious disease specialist and getting tested for ureaplasma. One urologist put in a request but only for one strain (and it came back negative).
What am I missing?
2024.05.16 01:01 DANleDINOSAUR Would I Be TAH For Suggesting Father-In-Law Didn’t Love His Wife?
Long story short; mother-in-law passed away November last year and father-in-law is already out on the dating scene no more than 6 months later.
Being around my wife’s family over the past 10 years I’ve never, EVER, witnessed any displays of affection between my in-laws at all, not even pecks on the cheek or hugs. Sure, they were both awkward-ish people, but they had three kids and had been married for around 40 years. My morbid ass mind is now thinking my FIL was just staying in the marriage for the families sake and not actually in love with MIL and is now taking his shot. I’d like to eventually bring this up with my wife, but she is still partially in the grieving process of losing her mother, being the youngest of her three siblings, just to kind of get this assumption off my chest, but I’m afraid it’ll piss her off. What do?
submitted by DANleDINOSAUR to AITAH [link] [comments]
Being around my wife’s family over the past 10 years I’ve never, EVER, witnessed any displays of affection between my in-laws at all, not even pecks on the cheek or hugs. Sure, they were both awkward-ish people, but they had three kids and had been married for around 40 years. My morbid ass mind is now thinking my FIL was just staying in the marriage for the families sake and not actually in love with MIL and is now taking his shot. I’d like to eventually bring this up with my wife, but she is still partially in the grieving process of losing her mother, being the youngest of her three siblings, just to kind of get this assumption off my chest, but I’m afraid it’ll piss her off. What do?
2024.05.16 01:01 MerkadoBarkada SPNEC crushed on MSCI deletion; CREC changed IPO date for better "feng shui"; AREIT declares largest div in company's history; APL Q1 net loss: P7.9-M (up 32%)(Thursday, May 16)
Happy Thursday, Barkada --
The PSE lost 50 points to 6559 ▼0.8%
Shout-out to Albert R. for riffing on the "guy sinking in pond" theme of yesterday's meme, to Sadok Bey for cheering on OGP and gold stocks in general, to Jing for being old fashioned about AI, to Xavier for asking interesting questions about the REIT sector ("who's following [AREIT]?"), to @Banapin_phl_stk for asking if the OGP IPO was appropriate (yes, because it was a legal compliance IPO), to Cheerful2_Dogman210x for noting that REITs should diversify away from offices (agree, but MREIT?), to Adept-Ad-8635 for asking about GMA7 dividends (sorry I don't know anything), and to arkitrader for posting a classic GIF.*** ANNOUNCEMENT ***
We will have to wait until May 21 to get our daily dose of REIT commentary from Ely (Your REIT Buddy), because he and his wife Gladys are away on vacation celebrating their 1st wedding anniversary! Please join me in congratulating Ely and Gladys Paclibar on this significant life milestone and wishing them many more happy milestones to come!
*** ANNOUNCEMENT ***
Congratulations are also in order Dax Lucas and Miguel Camus for launching their PH business news startup, InsiderPH. Both are veteran business reporters (previously from the Philippine Daily Inquirer) I trust and frequently link to while drafting Merkado Barkada. It's great to see more journalists break out on their own!
▌In today's MB:
- SPNEC crushed on MSCI deletion
- CREC changed IPO date for better "feng shui"
- AREIT declares largest div in company's history
- APL Q1 net loss: P7.9-M (up 32%)
▌Daily meme Subscribe (it's free) Today's email
▌Main stories covered:
MB is written and distributed every trading day. The newsletter is 100% free and I never upsell you to some "iNnEr cIrClE" of paid-membership perks. Everyone gets the same! Join the barkada by signing up for the newsletter, or follow me on Twitter. You can also read my daily Morning Halo-halo content on Philstar.com in the Stock Commentary section.
- [NEWS] SP New Energy crushed on MSCI deletion... SP New Energy [SPNEC 1.06 ▼6.2%; 150% avgVol] [pdf link] fell more than 6% yesterday as traders digested the MSCI Global Small Cap review results that indicated SPNEC would be deleted from the index, effective June 3. Cebu Pacific [CEB 29.50 ▼1.8%; 113% avgVol] is also scheduled for deletion from the index, while ACEN [ACEN 5.00 ▲9.4%; 478% avgVol] was selected for inclusion. Aboitiz Equity Ventures [AEV 37.00 ▼3.5%; 458% avgVol] was deleted from the MSCI Global Standard index.
- MB: While the majority of people that I know don’t specifically trade index rebalancings, we are all impacted by these additions and deletions to some degree or another, so I think it’s important to flag when these rebalancings happen to make the markets seem just a little less random. For those who are unfamiliar, if you consider all the potential buyers of PSE stocks as just one room of buyers in the global “building” of potential buyers, getting added to an index is almost like getting credentials to access an entirely new room of potential buyers. Adding new buyers to the mix will drive up the price of the stock since the number of outstanding shares has not changed, only the number of interested buyers. That’s what is often referred to as “inflow”. Conversely, losing those new buyers will cause a drop in the price as due to the selling pressure from their need to exit their positions in anticipation of the stock losing its “credential” to access the room. That’s “outflow”. I know it’s a goofy analogy, but it can help new traders gain familiarity with all this talk of “inflows” and “outflows” around rebalancing moves.
- [UPDATE] CREC changed its IPO date for better feng shui... According to a report by Miguel R. Camus of InsiderPH [link], Citicore Renewable Energy Corp [CREC 3.88 pre-IPO] CEO Oliver Tan said that CREC moved its IPO back by a week to June 7 after consulting with a feng shui expert. Mr. Tan said that June 7 is a more “auspicious” date.
- MB: While I’m not a very superstitious person, I understand why these considerations can creep in where the difference between success and failure can so often be attributed to random chance. We’ve seen companies in the past set their maximum IPO price at a number that is thought to carry better “luck”, but it’s hard to look at the history of IPO results and see much good luck in all that red. Good reason? Bad reason? It doesn’t make that much difference to me as an investor, and it likely won’t make any difference to anyone a year or two from now when CREC is listed and the IPO is just a distant memory. Still, thought it was interesting to pass this along since I was lightly speculating on the reason for the date change yesterday.
- [DIVS] AREIT declares largest dividend in company’s history... AREIT [AREIT 33.95 ▲0.1%; 116% avgVol] [link] declared a Q1/24 dividend of ₱0.56/share, payable on June 13 to shareholders of record as of May 28. The dividend has an annualized yield of 6.6%, which is a little higher than AREIT’s pre-dividend annualized yield of 6.48%. The total amount of the dividend is approximately 90.3% of the ₱1.47 billion in distributable income that AREIT reported for the period. AREIT’s year-to-date stock and dividend return is now up to 3.32%, and its total return since its IPO is now 54.56%.
- MB: That’s 16 straight quarters of stable or growing dividends from AREIT. Their management team has weathered all of the issues and problems that have plagued the commercial REIT sector since the pandemic in 2020 (COVID, inflation, POGOs, etc), and they’ve managed to actually grow the dividend 10 times while doing it. Sure, their yield is the lowest of the REITs on the PSE, but it’s low for a reason: risk (or the relative lack thereof).
- [EARNINGS] Apollo Global Q1 net loss: ₱7.9-M (up 32%)... Apollo Global Capital [APL 0.01 ▲10.0%; 6% avgVol] [link] posted a Q1 net loss of ₱7.9 million, which was actually 32% better than its Q1/23 net loss of ₱11.5 million. The company’s Management’s Discussion and Analysis section is still just a “Plan of Operations” because the company still has yet to earn a single peso of revenue from the offshore mining operation that it was supposed to have started in early 2021. APL’s current President, Bonner Dytoc, was appointed back in late 2022 after the company’s previous President resigned.
- MB: Longtime readers will know how closely I’ve been following the trials and tribulations of the MB Siphon 1, the vessel that APL allegedly plans to use to eventually conduct its offshore mining. It’s now been 1199 days since APL reported that the MB Siphon 1 was “in position” and “ready to commence operations” before a series of storms, mechanical mishaps, financial transactions, big waves, and training outages conspired to keep the boat from its one and only purpose. I get the sense that even the PSE is getting fed up with the situation, which says a lot considering what they’ve been willing to tolerate from other companies; the PSE officially required APL to disclose the status of the MB Siphon 1 last month, and in response, APL said that the MB Siphon 1 is “currently undergoing its equipment maintenance and continuous enhancements to ensure safety, durability, and operational efficiency.” APL went on to say that it will commission another vessel to “supplement our operations for the year”. And the kicker: APL said that it is “on track to anticipate initial shipments within the second quarter of this year.” On track to anticipate? 60% of the time, that wordplay works every time.