Hello everyone, so I’m in my early 20s and for most of my life I’ve been trying to deal with the loss of my dad. My dad died when I was toddler. I wish could get into the details here, but I’m afraid that’s too personal. To make a long story short: he ultimately changed our family’s life and others for the worse because of his unconscionable actions. When I was younger, I didn’t think about him a lot, but as I got older I began to think about all of the things that we missed out on together, but at the same time, I can’t help but think about all of the pain he’s caused me, even from the grave. I’ve seen the father-son relationships that my bros have with their dads and it’s honestly something I’ve always wanted to have with mine. Often times I wonder if we ever meant enough to him for to risk everything that he worked so hard to get. When someone asks about my parents,it’s hard for me to tell them that I only have 1 parent, and when they ask about my dad, I have to try my best not to get teary-eyed; this is something i’ve always struggled with, not only that, but it’s the fact that I can’t even tell them how he died. I’ve never even shared it with my best friends and I don’t even talk to my family about it. His actions also affected my relationship with the other side of my family, who I hardly ever see, but I still love them. As a child I was told “just tell them you don’t like to talk about it,” which is why I feel like I have a hard time expressing my feelings or even trying to get in a relationship, bc of the fear of rejection and this secret. Despite all this, I’ve had a good life, many struggles, just like everyone else, but at times I fear that I will end up like him. Sometimes I’m even told that I’m a splitting image of him, at times it’s comforting, yet scary.
As a Christian, I know I am supposed to love others and forgive them, but in a situation like this, how does one overcome something like this: loving your deceased parent that you don’t remember, despite their dark past that can ultimately affect how others would view you, if they knew the truth?

Day 0!
5/13, total lap, took uterus, cervix, tubes, and did a bladder check.
I checked in about 840, surgery about 1040. One final pregnancy test. The staff was amazing (except the anaesthesiologist was a bit of a dick to one of the nurses, I didn’t like that-I think I might be reporting that… but he was fine to me). Even my gyno who I wasn’t a fan of during our appointments, I could tell surgery is where she was meant to be. I met my OR nurse, anaesthesiologist, and my gyno/surgeon in pre-op where every single person (plus surgical day care nurse) went over everything with me again and again, and ensured I was comfortable with what we were planning to do, and confirmed that barring any issues, my catheter would be removed during surgery, and then a camera check up the urethra and into the bladder. There was a slight hiccup in something in the lab with my pre op blood work where they listed me as a c section (ABSOLUTELY NOT) and something in the test regarding transfusion expired within 3 days and I did my pre op Thursday. I was worried it was going to delay things but since I have been fortunate and never had a transfusion (and the surgeon believed me and didn’t want her day messed up, plus they had the Thursday results) they called the lab, they were there super quick, and it was drawn up then I was wheeled in to the OR. Once in the OR they had me transfer onto the table, got me situated, introduced the surgical team, and my surgeon went over everything one last time while I was still conscious and made sure everyone was on the same page and ready to go. I was given oxygen and told to take a few deep breaths, and then they started pumping meds into my IV and I was out.
From what I hear (my surgeon called my mom/pickup person) it all went like clockwork. I was out in under two hours, into recovery to wake up and when I came to, three nurses (or health care workers, whatever their role, but I think RNs) were chatting about me near my bedside on how I had a lack of requirements before I could be discharged. I don’t think they realised or expected me to be awake so quickly but I said I had been told that as soon as I could walk to the bathroom and pee on my own, I could leave. They looked a little shocked. Not sure if because I was awake or because I knew what I needed to do.
I did say in recovery to my nurse that I felt like I needed to pee, but they wanted me to wait until the hour was up in recovery and I was transferred back to surgical day care.
Once I was in day care I was given juice, digestive cookies and my phone and started texting my mom, who was right outside, and said I was back to where she could come see me. The person at the desk at the front tried not to let her in and said I wasn’t back yet (not sure if there was a lack of communication or no) but mom insisted I was texting her and telling her I was back, and the woman from the desk had to come in and check for herself that I was back… and asked my nurse-who was again nearby-and I heard the front desk woman muttering and said something about “her mom”. I piped up and said don’t try to stop her from coming in, she won’t go away and she would get in either way, I’m texting with her now. The woman didn’t like that much, but my nurse laughed and okay’d her coming in.
Nurse back in day care listened to me pretty quick, did her checks and made she I could sit/stand and disconnected my IV line. She walked me to the bathroom to make sure I was okay. I peed without issue-it was a bit tender coming out but no burning… but man. Maybe bring your own toilet paper. That rough stuff is even rougher when you’re sensitive😳
I felt immediately better cause now I knew they could let me out once my final hour in recovery was complete. Another glass of juice, some more post op checks done, and I was able to get my IV out. (I know most people wouldn’t like IVs but it was a huge hang up for me… my veins suck and it was tender and once they confirmed I could leave I wanted it GONE.
Passed the rest of the time chatting, going over discharge paperwork/instructions, then I was given the official go ahead to change and leave. Slow going, changing, and man the hospital pads are atrocious (and no wings?!). I peed once more, hating the toilet paper but loved the mesh ish shorts they gave me and asked for a couple more, and they gave me two or three more. I was allowed to leave just after 230pm.
I was able to walk out of the hospital on my own two feet. Slowly, but walking and being upright felt much better than sitting. The nurse said it was allowed as long as mom was right there (which she obviously was) in case I got dizzy. We walked out to the front entrance (elevator, no stairs of course), and I stood at a safe spot where I could sit if I needed to, while she went and got the car from the far side of the lot. I probably could have walked it, but it was slow and didn’t want to chance anything.
The ride home was a bit rough-I forgot my pillow and I think that would have helped. Held my hands/palms onto my lower belly for some support. It was manageable, I wasn’t crying out in pain or anything, but definitely internally felt every little bump despite mom trying her best to avoid them.
I’m staying in my own apartment, (parent’s offered me to stay at theirs but I’m far more comfy in my own place, and no stairs) my dad’s sleeping on the couch while my pup is at the house with my mom and their two dogs. So far I’ve been able to manage on my own but it’s nice knowing he’s here incase I need something. When I got home, much to my dad’s chagrin (he wanted to do it for me), I made myself buttered toast, had an ice cream sandwich, some arrowroot cookies, a Tylenol and after eating upright and walking in circles a bit, I went to my bed with my heating pad, pregnancy pillow and about 8462619 other pillows I adjusted as needed. I’m very happy I had a pregnancy pillow. I was debating getting the wedges but decided with the option of Amazon same day/next day delivery, if I changed my mind it wouldn’t be long without it.
Obviously there’s more internal room now, but a heads up-I’ve peed a few times since getting home (it’s near 1am) I have noticed that “hmm I need to pee” turns quickly into “YUP GOTTA GO” when I stand up. I think that little bit extra gravity assist hits when I stand. No burning, still just a bit sensitive, but I bought a peri care bottle with a nozzle on it and is it a game changer. The hospital gave me one but it didn’t have an angled nozzle, which to me is useless unless I want to climb in my shower every time or end up with water all over my floor. First time I used it, I just rinsed with cool water multiple times as it was soothing (not going into the vagina).
There’s been very little blood so far-some spotting but not much.
The pain? Feels like a concentrated day 2 of my usual back periods, with low back pain (helped greatly with heating pad). Like most of us here… we’re used to heavy pain so it’s not all that unbearable.
I was given tramadol, and didn’t take my first one until 9pm. Didn’t love the feeling. And my limbs started tingling which was weird. That’s supposed to be a withdrawal effect. But my body doesn’t handle drugs well so could just be me. I’ll see what happens later in the night if I need something else, I’ll take it. But so far the pain/discomfort is reminding me not to sleep how i normally do-on my side with my leg up toward my abdomen.
I’ve got my naproxen and Tylenol that the pharmacy okay’d me to take instead of Advil and Tylenol.
Forgot to mention-my throat is a bit sore, but not nearly what I expected. Feels like I just spent some time around a campfire where the smoke randomly followed me. One Halls seemed to help, and of course, ice cream sandwiches 😂.

Hi I am new to this sub and I have been ignoring this issue for a good part of my life but recently, the consequences seem to be catching up with me.
I have been avoiding social interactions, whether it be F2F or through a medium. However, this only applies to certain groups of people. I have no problem socially with some groups of people. I have realised that the people I tend to avoid are people that have an expectation of me to fulfil duties of sorts.
Many people in my social circle thinks that I’m an extrovert because I could express myself clearly and well, always able to keep a conversation going smoothly. But on the inside, I realised that I really do not crave any social interaction.
New interactions that bring new duties always starts out fine but I eventually fall back into the same pattern. I am fully aware that my actions are not rational but avoidance has turned into some sort of drug for me. And I’m addicted to it.
It would start out as not wanting to return a text / email, and as I continually ignore these, they turn into calls or even visits to my home. And these cause me anxiety and makes me loathe myself even more. Notifications, phone calls and footsteps at my door are all sounds of impending consequences to me now, even if they are very much benign.
My impetus for avoidance starts out as my need for some alone time, and then it evolves into a fear of facing the disdain of the other party.
I can’t seem to break out of this vicious cycle because the barrier of facing the consequences is too intimidating for my weak mind, especially after this protracted avoidance period.
I have considered moving to some place where no one knows me to start anew. But I’m pretty sure that’s only a temporary solution, and a pretty avoidant one too.
I would like to face this issue now and I would appreciate if anyone who has went through or know someone that did could give me some much needed advice on facing it.

Long story short I can't afford to go to the Dr nor a podiatrist. I have a bad ingrown toenail to the point I can't walk properly, have to do a weird side foot angle walk.
So I'm needing to get some medical supplies, numbing injection? Scalpel, some stitches & anything else I might need to numb toe and cut it out myself. Where does one get these things? I've been Epsom salt bathing it for 2 weeks & lifting it up cutting it out where I can which has made it slightly better. But it's so painful even brushing the blanket across it at night has me seeing red in pain. Its gotta go, where do you get this kinda stuff?
No I don't qualify for a CSC No cant take out a loan No don't have private health insurance
Any help or advise much appreciated

Long story not so short is basically went off from work back in October for a physical ailment ( polyps, protrusions etc) , a genetic obsessive compulsive disorder I'm trying to improve / take care of and general anxiety/social disorder. It's been hell trying to get in for surgery , paying for therapy @ $250 a session that's supposed to be weekly / biweekly and affording to live in general when I'm only being paid around 1700-1800 a month a - rent is easily almost half that. So getting into the issue, recently the LTD insurance company instead of continuing to focus on my ailment and mental health progression, is suddenly requesting I now also focus on stopping cannabis consumption all due to the fact I have mentioned to them a few times through phone interviews that its been my method of coping / useage has increased due to all these issues still being prevalent ( daily in pain in my lower regions 😅) they requested I start treating my consumption so I went to a raam clinic and got setup with resources to lower my usage, I found out last week that the LTD actually wanted me to go Into residential rehabilitation not raam to treat my useage , which is completely unnecessary / would be detrimental due to my mental heath / physical situation. So far my raam clinic dr has written a letter stating the residential treatment is not suitable for me , I'm seeing my Family Dr later today to get their support and backing on not needing the residential treatment / to remind LTD that the focus should be my ailment and mental health , because at the end of the day I've been working and consuming my whole adult life and it wasn't a prevention from working . So my question is does anyone know if the insurance company can really force this decision of treatment no matter what?, or if having my drs documentation + raam clinic documentation + psychologist could overturn them and rule out the cannabis factor? So far I've heard two sides being either they can loophole and still say cannabis = more ocd and general anxiety problems and the others saying if they disregard the documentation stating it's not a reason why he can't work, that I should seek legal counsel.

My mom went ahead with the abdominal hysterectomy surgery on 8th May - 2 days later her ultrasound revealed water in her gutt, and she had immense pain while passing stole. Turns out her ball bladder got ruptured. They stitched it up on 11th, and then kept her in ICU for 2 days for observation. She is suggested to keep the catheter for 3 weeks, and is currently and should be discharged in 2 days. Can you advice anything for gas and bowel movement?She has 3 kids, all c-sections in the past. They opened the same stitches twice to operate on the bladder. She has high BP 150/94 average. I knew, but haven’t understood how painful it is for women in general. Is there anything I can do to make her feel better? Recover faster. + do you suggest a medical assistant at home when she comes back home. Thank you!

For more details I hold in my pee maybe four hours each time I have to go but sometimes it’s for seven hours then eight hours and then it’s 10 hours at night or even 13 hours or 14 hours depending on when I go to bed. I am developing incontinence though even after wiping and I feel like I can’t empty my bladder all the way and I’m also always mildly dehydrated and constipated bc of my stomach being slow so that doesn’t help… anyways is this urinary retention? I think I’ve been like this the last three years since I turned 20 I’m now 22. Is there a way to make it better?

This is long, sorry.
My wife cheated on me 14 years ago while we dated. We were in our mid twenties and had been dating for several years. She was seeing a man from work that was almost 40 years old at the time, so nearly a 15 year age difference. I found out while I was using her laptop to help her with a project for school (she was finishing her degree) and found an email she sent to this guy with a picture of her boobs with the words “do my boobs look good today?”
I remember I was shaking and blew up at her immediately. She denied it was anything and she strung me along for a few months before we got back together. I knew she was still seeing this guy while we were trying to fix our relationship. I remember the anxiety and depression like it was yesterday.
Shortly after we got back together, she found out she was pregnant. She assured me it was my child and I believed her. I remember the possible night of conception when she told me to cum inside of her. We were always careful and never did that before for obvious reasons. We moved in together and got married 2 years later. We now have 3 kids together. I didn’t bring it up at the time because she was pregnant and I didn’t want to cause her stress.
This has always bothered me as we never discussed the cheating. I finally brought it up 3 years ago and told her I needed closer and have always thought it was possible our oldest was not my child. I needed details on the extent of her relationship with this guy. The conversation did not go well. She was so cold and seemed like she wanted to avoid any conversation about the subject. She does not do well with communicating so I admit it was probably tough for her.
I needed more answers so I brought this up again recently. She admitted that he kissed her and that it was more of an emotional affair. She claims they did not sex and he never touched her. She said she didn’t feel right when they kissed so she told him to stop and he never did it again. They went to a movie together, walks at the park, coffee dates, late night dinner. She said that she liked the attention and that was it.
The problem, she claims to not remember any details. She doesn’t know the name of the movie, when or where they kissed, when she officially broke it off with him. To top it off this guy was married and his wife was pregnant, but claimed he was separated. I asked if he told her about his wife and she said yes but again can’t remember when he told her about his wife’s pregnancy.
She has zero fucking details other than she realized she loved me and broke it off with him. I don’t know what to do here. I’m tired of brushing this under the rug. I love her and want to believe her but I can’t without details.
I think she might be afraid to admit the truth because we have a nice life together. She doesn’t work and I make enough money to support us and not worry financially. We are very grateful for that. She did tell me that she regrets this every day and always feared I would divorce her over this.
I told her I want a paternity test for our oldest and she agreed. She said she know with 100% certainty our oldest is mine and nothing else is possible”. I think that a paternity test will strain our marriage if she is telling the truth. Now what? I can’t figure out if she’s telling the truth, lying because she fucked him and was scared she was pregnant so she had sex with me to say I got her pregnant, or just horrible timing around when we had sex and when the cheating occurred.
I have no idea how to get past not knowing what she did with this guy.

As an indie Flutter developer, gaining traction for your app without a marketing budget can seem like an uphill battle. Here's how I managed to grow my Invento user base to 4k without spending a dime on advertising.
Research and Development: I kicked off by studying other apps in the market, diving deep into user reviews to understand pain points, desired features, and subscription pricing models.
Focus on Simplicity and Functionality: Armed with insights from my research, I prioritized simplicity, ease of use, modern ui, and packed in features to address competitor shortcomings.
Free with No Ads: I made a bold move by releasing my app for free, without limitations, without any intrusive ads. This decision garnered positive attention right from the start.
Strategic Facebook Sharing: Leveraging Facebook, I targeted two groups - tech enthusiasts and developers in Algeria, focusing solely on app development discussions.
Organic Growth: Over time, the user base organically expanded, evident from the Play Console dashboard's increasing numbers and over 100 glowing reviews praising the app's simplicity and ad-free experience.
Word-of-Mouth Marketing: Encouragingly, users began recommending my app to others, particularly store owners who found it useful for managing their inventory.
Introducing Subscription Options: Responding to user feedback, I recently introduced subscription options with enhanced features, catering to evolving user needs.
No Paid Campaigns Yet: Despite the app's growing popularity, I've held off on paid campaigns as I refine the app and work on a compelling landing page.
Belief in the Product: While I haven't seen paid users yet, I'm confident that Invento will carve its niche in the market, offering a unique and valuable solution.
Stay tuned for a detailed account of the Invento journey and any updates in a forthcoming article. I'm excited about the potential ahead!

So to keep things short and to the point; Dad is abusive POS (Financially, emotionally, and sometimes even physically), I (16) have the opportunity to escape this hell im living in in a little less than two weeks via a flight back to my home country with my mom and 8 year old sister under the excuse of just staying there around six months. He bought the tickets.
He is constantly threathening me with calling american airlines to cancel the trip if I don't do what he wants and today he screamed at me saying he will cancel the flight tomorrow. This has caused me a lot of panic attacks since its really my only way of escaping.
Can he cancel the flight? He knows there are no refunds so he will just call to cancel.

Hi everyone, I'm new to DV360 and adops. I wanted to understand what options there are for 3rd party tracking tags in DV360 when trafficking creatives.
Can they only be placed as above, to fire on viewable impressions when an ad is deemed visible. Or are there other places it can be placed to capture data? I imagine the latter but didn't want to assume.
We're trying to measure viewability, getting no data and wondering if this is the cause of the issue as the tag can only capture information when the ad is visible. Not see the whole page before and after it is visible.

As an indie Flutter developer, gaining traction for your app without a marketing budget can seem like an uphill battle. Here's how I managed to grow my Invento user base to 4k without spending a dime on advertising.
Research and Development: I kicked off by studying other apps in the market, diving deep into user reviews to understand pain points, desired features, and subscription pricing models.
Focus on Simplicity and Functionality: Armed with insights from my research, I prioritized simplicity, ease of use, modern ui, and packed in features to address competitor shortcomings.
Free with No Ads: I made a bold move by releasing my app for free, without limitations, without any intrusive ads. This decision garnered positive attention right from the start.
Strategic Facebook Sharing: Leveraging Facebook, I targeted two groups - tech enthusiasts and developers in Algeria, focusing solely on app development discussions.
Organic Growth: Over time, the user base organically expanded, evident from the Play Console dashboard's increasing numbers and over 100 glowing reviews praising the app's simplicity and ad-free experience.
Word-of-Mouth Marketing: Encouragingly, users began recommending my app to others, particularly store owners who found it useful for managing their inventory.
Introducing Subscription Options: Responding to user feedback, I recently introduced subscription options with enhanced features, catering to evolving user needs.
No Paid Campaigns Yet: Despite the app's growing popularity, I've held off on paid campaigns as I refine the app and work on a compelling landing page.
Belief in the Product: While I haven't seen paid users yet, I'm confident that Invento will carve its niche in the market, offering a unique and valuable solution.
Stay tuned for a detailed account of the Invento journey and any updates in a forthcoming article. I'm excited about the potential ahead!

IndieHacker #AppDevelopment #Bootstrapping #UserGrowth #Flutter

Can anyone help me confirm I have got a new passport since applying for my work permit for Canada.
I am yet to enter but I have my letter of introduction will having a new passport cause any issues I am seeing conflicting opinion on the CIC website?
Any help at all would be greatly appreciated

**Reddit Account:** u/Thenn_Applicant
**Discord Tag:** Garin
**Name and House:** Dorian Merryweather
**Age:** 49
**Cultural Group:** Reachman
**Appearance:** Dorian's chestnut brown hair has been greying for quite a while, however is short beard retains more color, including a few stray red hairs peppered throughout it. While his features have softened and gained some pudge as he aged past his prime, he remains in overall good shape. This is partly due to his great love of gardening and crop cultivation, which have left his hands and nails rather rough.
**Trait:** Numerate
**Skills:** Avaricious (e), Architect, Administrator, Investor
**Talents:** Language (High Valyrian) Cooking, Gardening
**Negative Trait:** N/A
**Starting Title:** Lord of Longtable
**Starting Location:** Opening Event
**Biography:**
It has been said; men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing, sooner than war. As such, it begs the question, what does a man have left when he finally tires of war? In pursuit of an answer, of any answer, one half of Dorian Merryweather’s life was spent. He was the second son of Lord Arthor Merryweather of Longtable. Like many others born in a place of natural abundance, he longed for more, for something greater than a mere provincial estate. The tourneys of Highgarden, the hunts of Horn Hill and the books of Oldtown all called to him, and so he could never ride past his father’s mild and verdant fields fast enough. Dorian counted himself lucky not to be the heir, for that meant he could pick where his future lay, unchained from the uninspiring home of his childhood. Instead it was his older brother, Bennard, who envied his free-flying lifestyle, contriving any excuse to join him on his escapades and agurk lessons and ceremonies he ought to have attended.
Lord Arthor was fairly permissive of this deriliction of duties, as the friendships forced on such journeys were worth more than lessons that could be repeated later, or tasks that could be handed off to lowborn stewards. The boys attended tourneys, balls, hunts and feasts, living the life the bards extolled as the height of reachman’s chivalry. The one time they did not shirk their duties was when their father had the honor of hosting King Mern and his court for a tourney on the Warrior’s day. The Merryweather sons would present the king and his family with silver bowls of dilligrout, a most exquisite stew of capons, white wine and almond milk. They had the joy of tasting it once the Gardeners had their fill, a taste they would never forget. On the tournament field three days later, Mern knighted them both, though Dorian was only sixteen at the time, green as a knight could ever be.
Five years later, as news of Aegon Targaryen and his early conquests spread, the lords of the Reach were summoned to Goldengrove, where they found a veritable forest of Westermen’s banners being planted beside their own. The fall of the Storm Kings had led to a whirlwind of diplomacy between the houses of Gardener and Lannister. The plan was presented to the lords with the two kings sitting beside one another on the dais as though they were brothers. They held up Aegon’s letter of demands, scornfully reading it aloud and then proceeded to tear it up to a roaring acclamation from the hall. Standing there before the hall, Mern could hardly be called the Warrior incarnate. There stood a man well past his prime, old enough to be a grandfather and with no great victories to his name, in battle or on the tourney field. All the same, this man, whom they called their king, always seemed to know exactly what to say to win someone over. If he’d declared war on hell itself that evening, the Merryweather brothers would probably still have marched off with him when the next morning dawned. Bennard and Dorian shouted as loud as anyone, death to the foreign upstart. That evening were betrothed to westerwomen they’d never met before, made plans for a real battle, which they had never fought in before, and drank, ate and sang as though the night would last forever. House Merryweather was not able to secure a command, yet King Mern remembered his stay at Longtable fondly. He gave Bennard and Dorian a place in the vanguard, and even adorned Bennard with a brooch of the order of the green hand the morning before the army Goldengrove, a momentous honor which Bennard would cherish for the remainder of his days. He did not have many left, as it turned out. The Field of Fire began like a dream, as the two brothers rode off at the break of dawn, two out of five thousand sets of gleaming armor atop proud warhorses. By the end of the day it had become a nightmare. Caught up in the maelstrom of battle, Dorian did not see the moment when their loss was assured, but the Gods know he could hear it, the creeping, hungry flames that descended on the reachmen like an army of its own. As hundreds were broiled inside their steel plate and thousands more choked on the inferno’s horrible vanguard of black smoke, Bennard and Dorian broke and fled. They were not far behind the retreating Loren Lannister in their escape, but half a minute made all the difference. The lines of fire fanned out, hunting more living things to devour, and engulfed the two brothers. Dorian could feel how the flames spread from his surcoat to his undershirt, all the way down to the hairs on his chest, beginning to sear his skin. In a desperate act he threw himself in the Blackwater, and would have perished if not for the shoddy work of his squire that morning, which left him able to tear off his plate before he could sink. With bloodied, burn-marked fingers, he clung to the roots of a tree by the riverside, water up to his chest. He was retrieved after some time, how long he could not say. For the next two moons his mind was adrift, distracted from his pains by milk of the poppy. The next two were far worse, as he grew more lucid and realized the extent of the damage. A burn-mark stretched from his right thigh, all the way up his chest and left bicep to the apple of his neck. Many times over, flakes of dead or dying skin had to be peeled off by the maester as the scabs kept bursting with blood and clear liquid. By the end of that year he was able to walk again, though the burn mark would leave a feverish red mark across the front of his body, his new skin settling into twisted lines.
Bennard was far worse for wear, alive yet burned all the way to his face and crippled from a fall off his horse. His nose and ear-lobes had to be cut off, too burned to save, and even his eyelids were permanently scarred, unable to sprout new lashes. The more lucid Bennard became, the deeper his sorrow. Eventually he began refusing food. The new lord of Longtable would not eat anything his cooks set in front of him. In spite of his ever present pains, Dorian began going to the kitchens, reprimanding the cooks for their failings. He knew his brother well and knew his palette, and began ordering them to make his brother’s favorites. When he felt they were making mistakes, he interrupted their work himself. He was a stranger to the kitchen, yet would criticize how things were cut too roughly, spiced too little or too much. He was a terror to the cooks, yet they could not refuse him.
His attempts to intervene were however hampered by a newfound aversion to heat. The sound of the hearth, of boiling and searing, the general sense of warmth around him made him nauseous and caused his movements to seize up. Still, he went to his brother’s bedside every day, and afterwards he forced himself back to the kitchens. His sister, Lydia, tried to stop him at first, but soon found her protes fell on deaf ears, and so joined him, if only to leash him in when he went too far. Finally, there was only one dish they hadn’t tried; the dilligrout they’d once served to the late King Mern. Every time it was made, it came out wrong. It soon turned out the cook who had served them that evening six years ago had since retired, and his exact method had never been recorded or taught to anyone else. Dorian would first invite the man to Longtable, then summon him with armed knights when invitations were refused.
Theomar, the man who appeared before him, was a sorry sight, looking frightened and confused as he was taken to his old workplace. It was explained by his sons that he’d been growing senile even six years ago, often snapping at the kitchen maids under him when his memory failed him. Since then he’d gotten worse, seldom eating, let alone cooking. Something in the old man’s eyes did seem to brighten for a moment when the sounds and smells of his old kitchen surrounded him, and Dorian ordered him to make dilligrout. Before long that faint spark had been drowned out by tears. He would start boiling capon or crushing almonds, only to leave the job half-done whenever he had to fetch something new. Serving maids were put at his disposal to bring him ingredients, yet an ingredient ordered would be met with a reprimand as he seemed to forget which dish he was making every few minutes. Finally Dorian snapped at the man, grabbing him by his collar and shouting accusations of treason against House Merryweather. By the time Lydia could restrain him and try to apologize, the man was a wreck on the floor. After watching it for a while, waiting for the man to get up and continue his work, even Dorian was overcome by pity and shame for what he’d done. The old cook was praying to the gods, begging forgiveness for his failings. Dorian began to realize he’d broken a great man down and would himself beg forgiveness. He offered the man his old cook’s quarters back for the rest of his life, and promised his sons that his maester would tend to the man in his old age, that he would be fed from Longtable’s stores.
At this point, he resolved to make the dilligrout himself. Through it all, Bennard was barely clinging to life, or rather being tethered to it by the will of others. He could only be fed when drugged down by the milk of the poppy, and the more often it was used, the less effective it became. Every day Dorian braved the kitchens, yet he could not recreate the flavor of that wonderful night. It was by the grace of the gods, perhaps with Theomar as their vessel, that Dorian would even come close. The old man could no longer cook, but over time he began to wander into the kitchens and sit down on a chair. At first Dorian thought the man only sought the warmth of the hearth for his weary bones, yet he discovered it to be more than that. Theomar’s eyes were like clouded glass, yet they brightened every now and then, hearing almonds being ground, smelling capons searing in fat, as though it was stirring the kitchenmaster of yore back to life. Eventually Dorian began to walk up to the old cook with his ingredients, bidding him to smell or taste small portions. Sometimes he got simple instructions out of it, ‘too coarse’, ‘too sour’, ‘underdone’. Som times a mere nod or frown was all Theomar managed. Over the course of a couple of days, Dorian put together one final attempt to get the dish made rightWhen he arrived in Bennard’s chamber, he was met with a look which brought forth discomfort that no flame could produce in Dorian. Plainly, raspingly, his brother asked him why he wouldn’t let him die. It was easy, Bennard reasoned. All Dorian needed to do was wait and become lord. The words almost made Dorian throw the dilligrout on the floor. Almost. He placed two bowls on Bennard’s table, the dilligrout and one brimming with milk of the poppy. Dorian told his brother to make his choice. If he sought death, Dorian would let him, but he would not hear that it was an easy thing, watching his brother die. That evening, the milk of the poppy was carried away by the maester, the empty bowl of stew taken to be washed in the kitchens. From then on, Bennard ate what his brother brought him without complaint. He lasted just into the new year, dying on its tenth day. In the predawn gloom of the twelfth, Theomar died in his sleep
Dorian took up his lordly task joylessly. His old wanderlust returned, spurred by the horrible memories that now stained Longtable and the reach itself in his mind. The final straw came when their new Tyrell overlords, insisted on him marrying a lady from a dornish house. His previous betrothal had fallen through, as the parents of his western bride had not wished to draw the ire of the Targaryens by maintaining an old alliance meant to oppose them. Instead of obliging, he boarded a ship from Oldtown going east. It stopped only briefly in Planky Town before going to Tyrosh. Noting him to be a nobleman, a few of the city’s wealthy men would host him for a while, though they quickly lost interest when his lack of knowledge of trade became apparent. After that, he spent time in the markets and squares where the common people lived. His old curiosity was piqued, and he decided to embark on a quest of learning, fashioning himself another Lomas Longstrider. He moved on to Myr, and the experience was much the same in broad strokes, a few rich men showed interest and quickly lost it. As he’d visited the dye markets he went to see the city’s famous artisans at work. One thing was notably different, he met a Tyroshi woman with green-dyed hair, going by the name Maryah. She was a trader, and the two had taken the same ship to Myr. She had been to Myr before and showed him many of its secrets. They spent an entire day in one of the vast delicacy markets so she could show him the many tastes of the city. Having no plans in advance, he asked where she was headed next.
Without a second thought he would join her on a journey to Lys. He soon understood it to be a test. It was not long before she teased him, speculating he’d only joined her for a chance to see the famous pleasure houses. Evening after evening they stayed in the city and Maryah would tease and test him over the matter. Finally he told her he’d renounce his betrothal for her, that there was no one else in his eye. She laughed, replying he would not have to. The next morning, Dorian awoke to find that she was already up, the green washed from her black curls. Maryah had in fact been Joanna Dayne, his dornish bride to be, having traveled the same route as him ever since his ship stopped at Planky Town to refill its food and water. She was already quite familiar with the three closest free cities, having served as a dornish envoy on behalf of its spice traders. As they planned their return to Westeros, Joanna asked him what else in the world he wanted to see. Within a few moons of being wed, they left Westeros, not to return for three years.The journey was what his mind needed, away from the Reach, its knights and tapestries, hunts and tourneys. Ultimately, the lords and knights of his homeland, for all their songs and poetry, lived every day in preparation for war, frivolous though the preparations were. Joanna showed him a different world, the remnants of Old Valyria. War was to be sure inescapable. Wherever they went, there were soldiers, tapestries, contests of arms, and yet the cities housed something else as well, a boundless potential for creation, commerce and growth.
Thanks to Joanna Dayne’s knowledge their stays became far better planned, and they could enjoy the hospitality of wealthy locals far longer. She knew how to talk about the spice trade and similar matters, and Dorian began to pick up on it. On their second stay in Myr, he procured a great deal of fine parchment and began taking notes, everything from negotiation tactics and the prices of cloves or red peppers to court customs, as well as more eclectic pieces of knowledge, details of running an eastern estate, descriptions of technological marvels he had never seen in Westeros, and ingredients in the local food. By the time they neared Qarth he had quite the list of recipes, among other things. There he was even able to learn a few all the way from Yi Ti, as some local cooks catered to merchants from the Golden Empire. On their journey home they’d end up taking the opportunity to see the newly made port of King’s Landing. By that time, a third member had joined their journey, their infant daughter Florys. Having left Longtable in the care of his sister and steward for three years, Dorian finally accepted the responsibility of running his ancestral home.
Longtable was considered to rule over some of the best lands in the Reach, ideally situated along the river with abundant soil which could provide two grain harvests in a year. Having seen the estates which supplied the great cities of the east, Dorian was all too aware of its comparative shortcomings. He found that the abundance of the land had a counterproductive effect, breeding complacency and carelessness. From his grandiose tour of the east, he went on a painstaking tour of his own lands, trying to get an overview of everything he ruled over. He paid the citadel a fee to send him half a dozen maesters in training for a season. These young men, literate and numerate, would serve his own maester in conducting a survey of the land, giving Dorian account of all resources at his disposal as lord. The results were quite varied.
Some peasants were found to have remarkable agricultural insights which they had no way of writing down, entirely reliant on passing the knowledge to their children. Knowing the risks of such a method of transferring knowledge, Dorian ordered such insights recorded. In other places there were farmers and communities who were unwittingly exhausting their soil. Instances of lack of fallow land, excessive grazing by cows and lack of crop rotation were also made note of, followed by edicts against such heedless practices. Septons, sheriffs and tax collectors were given written copies and were obliged to read them to the peasantry wherever it was deemed necessary. It also became part of the obligations of farmers to plant a set amount of clover in their fields and pastures, a practice some had taken up on their own but which had already become a standardized law among the estates belonging to Myr and Volantis. Irrigation was expanded and land inheritance was reformed to prevent the splitting of fields past a certain threshold.
Lord Dorian was not always successful. Some eastern ideas had been useful innovations which improved conditions across the board. In time he learned that the peculiarities of the westerosi system were sometimes necessary for the sake of stability, not merely the misshapen fruits of ignorance. His attempt to enclose part of the common lands proved abortive, as it nearly caused a peasant rebellion. A procession of aggrieved smallfolk headed for Longtable had to be dispersed by knights, armed with wooden clubs to prevent needless bloodshed.Two men were hanged and five sent to the wall, but the reform was thereafter abandoned, leading the populace to calm down. Dorian was not much of a military leader and had not wielded weapons since the Field of Fire. He became aware of his need to bolster his forces, a notion reinforced by the establishment of the Black Roses not long after his return, and again with the Kingswood Catastrophe
In the meantime, he and Joanna raised a family together. Three more daughters would be born healthy, with a couple of miscarriages and a stillbirth in between, also a daughter. Their travels did not entirely come to an end. In 13 AC they would tour the northern free cities of Norvos, Qohor, Pentos, Braavos and Lorath, which they had missed on their original journey. The lion’s share of 17 AC was spent on a journey to the Summer Islands. At other times they would make shorter journeys around the Seven Kingdoms, where they felt more secure in bringing their older children along. Whether it was visiting Joanna’s family in Dorne, tourneys and feasts in the Reach and West or even one trip to see the wall, a nameday wish by Florys, they were often on the move. Like most of their peers, they frequented Oldtown and Highgarden
The growing rift between the two queens and their children was a situation Dorian would watch with dread in his heart, remembering keenly how a generation of young men had been brought to the field of fire. To his mind, the Targaryen rule ought not go to waste. Like Valyria of old, it had begun with fire and blood, yet similarly peace and prosperity had followed in its wake. If only the dragons could stand united, perhaps another long peace like the one the Freehold once enjoyed could again be established. If not, another century of blood was upon them. Under Dorian, Longtable became a place where he sought to bring together people from across the kingdoms and forge unity over the dinner table, an attitude which somewhat vexed and confounded his more militaristic daughter and heiress, Lady Florys. Even amid her questioning of the viability of his peaceful ways when surrounded by those who would make war, a terrible sight would steel his resolve, watching the Mander burning green, every bit as terrible as the flames from twenty one years prior. That night he made a simple vow, never again.
The League of the Cornucopia, he would name his little group, a gallery of lords and ladies whose acquaintances he’d made over the years. With these fellow gourmets he would share the culinary knowledge he’d gleaned from his journeys in the east and west. Most unusual for a lord of his rank, Dorian came to spend a great deal of time in his kitchens, testing out recipes himself. On occasion, the dishes he served to his guests for these small, intimate gatherings would be the work of his own hands. The membership did vary from time to time, both based on who could make it and who he sought to bring together. Rather than a fully closed circle, the League is more like a form of feasting, only it’s done for a much smaller crowd, without the public spectacle. Such occasions allowed for more refined foods which did not need to be served to hundreds and kept constantly warm over the course of hours like some common tavern stew. It also opened up an arena of more intimate diplomacy and negotiation for those who sought it, hosted on neutral ground by a lordly mediator, free from prying eyes.
**Timeline:**
25BC: Dorian is born, second in line to Longtable
24BC: His sister Lydia is born
9BC: House Merryweather hosts House Gardener for a tourney and feast. Dorian and his older brother Bennard serve the dish of honor to King Mern Gardener and his family. During the subsequent tourney, Mern knights both boys, despite their inexperience and lack of victory in the tourney
9BC-2BC: Dorian spends much time travelling the reach, attending events
1BC: Dorian and Bennard fight in the vanguard at the Field of Fire. Both are burned, Bennard far more severely than Dorian. Lord Merryweather is killed. Traumatized by the battle and his new maimed body, Bennard starts refusing food. Dorian desperately tries to re-create the dish they served King Mern eight years ago. The cook who made it has since gone senile, but eventually manages to help Dorian re-create it. He is given a place at court as apology for his mistreatment at Dorian's hands before this occurred.
1AC: Lord Bennard dies at the beginning of the year, leaving Dorian as lord of Longtable. His sister Lydia fulfills her betrothal to House Tarly, becoming lady of Horn Hill. At the prospect of marrying a Dornishwoman on the King's orders, Dorian decides to leave Westeros to put off his marriage. In Myr, he meets a woman calling herself Maryah, claiming to be a Tyroshi merchant. They fall in love and travel to Lys together. There Dorian promises to set aside his betrothal for her, whereupon she reveals herself as Joanna Dayne, his dornish betrothed.
1AC-4AC: Dorian and Joanna wed at Longtable, then depart on a new journey of the east. They reach as far as Qarth before turning back home. In 3AC, on the way back, their first child, Florys, is born while the couple are in Volantis, on the way home. They return via the newly built port of King's Landing.
4AC-8AC: Using knowledge from the east, Lord Dorian embarks on a project of rationalizing the agriculture of Longtable
5AC: Dorian and Joanna have their second child, a girl named Ellyn
8AC: Their third daughter, Desmera, is born
13AC: Dorian and Joanna spend a year travelling the northern free cities
14AC: Their fourth and final daughter, Gwin, is born
17AC: Dorian and Joanna undertake a journey to the Summer Islands with their children
23AC: The aftermath of the battle of Stonebridge brings back memories of the Field of Fire, as the Merryweathers watch burning slag run down the Mander
25AC: The Merryweathers travel to the celebration of the maturity of Aegon's sons
**Family Tree:**
Arthor Merryweather (father, d.1BC)
Cerelle Merryweather (pending family connection) (mother, d.20AC)
Bennard Merryweather (brother, d.1AC)
Lydia Merryweather (sister, b.24BC)
Glendon Merryweather (uncle, d.1BC)
Myrcella Pommingham (aunt, d.22AC)
Leo Merryweather (cousin, b.13AC)
Joanna Dayne (wife, b.26AC)
Florys Merryweather (daughter, b.3AC)
Ellyn Merryweather (daughter, b.5AC)
Desmera Merryweather (daughter, b.8AC)
Gwin Merryweather (daughter, b.13AC)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
**Auxiliary Character:**
**Name and House:** Florys Merryweather
**Age:** 23
**Cultural Group:** Reachman
**Appearance:** A short, muscular woman with wavy black hair, normally worn in a bun. She has high cheekbones and a proud demeanor. Her rigid strength stands in contrast to the more relaxed nature of the Merryweather court, one she finds overly lax and casual
**Trait:** Hale
**Skills:** Swords (e), Essosi Blademaster
**Talents:** Dancing, Fishing, Cooking
**Negative Traits:** N/A
**Starting Title:** Heir to Longtable
**Starting Location:** Opening Event
**Timeline:**
3AC: Florys is born in Volantis, while her parents are on their way home from Essos
10AC: Florys starts training under Saathos Trevelyan, her father's Master at Arms
13 AC: She joins her parents on a tour of Pentos, Braavos, Norvos and Qohor
17AC: She travels with her parents to the Summer Islands
19AC-23AC: As she comes of age, Florys becomes more critical of her father's desire for peace, viewing it as increasingly far-fetched amid the increasingly controversial regency and the impending succession dispute. She resolves to make the kinds of connections her father seems unwilling to, in case of war
25AC: She accompanies her family to the celebrations
**NPCS:**
**Ser Leo Merryweather** (Age: 37, Archetype: Magnate) Lord Merryweather's first cousin, he has become an indispensable agent in the daily running of Longtable. Despite his foppish demeanor and aparent laziness, he is highly capable and loyal in his task of increasing his family's fortune. He remains happily unwed
**Saathos Tevelyan:** (Age:48, Archetype: Master at Arms) The son of a Lysene father and a Myrish mother, Saathos initially sought a career in amongst Myr's military officers, however his family's relatively low status proved an impediment to further promotion, later compounded by a dispute with a superior. He met Lord Merryweather in 3AC and eventually travelled West to offer his services five years later, finding his career progress stonewalled in his home city. Well into middle age, he still looks firm and imposing as profesisonal a soldier ought to

Introvert (22M) from Northolt. Been in London for almost about 9 months now, before I used to live in Salisbury. I have never been in contact with anyone and I don’t have any friends. Literally I wanna enjoy my life too. I can’t express myself, It’s so boring. Now I wanna change I wanna have some friends and be extrovert, confident and optimistic. I can’t see any growth in me cause in life main asset towards growth is confidence and communication which I lack. Help me.

TLDR: Should I let my gf go to club or leave her?
I (21M) have a Gf (19F) who wants to go to the club with her friends. Obviosuly if she would want to cheat she would find other ways, but I feel like being drunk at a club can make it happen all of a sudden, and also I know that men are really touchy. I'm not comfortable with my girl going to the club but she has told me she still wanna go cause its fun, but I'm also afraid cause its to get attention from other men . what should I do?, I date to marry and it doesnt seem like wifey material for me or am I stupid?

I’m currently in art school to get a bachelors of design but I’m really starting to feel like I don’t belong. Here’s the thing, I don’t think I’m a bad artist and I know I was accepted for a reason, but I’m just not creative. I don’t create anything outside of school and the pieces I make for school feel lazy and uninspired. The last time I had any drive to create was in grade 11 when I did a medium size painting and after it was done I just didn’t have any ideas anymore. I’ve always wanted to be and artist and make movie posters like the ones form the 70-80s but how am I going to do that if I 1 don’t have the drive to practice art and 2 don’t have any ideas? I’ve never had any other career in mind cause I can’t see myself doing anything else, but I also don’t know if I can do art. I’d love to hear any advice or feedback. Thank you all.

I've had functionally zero physical endurance since having Covid in 2022. Even just the amount of walking required for routine grocery shopping leaves me worn out. My family took a Disney trip a few months before I had Covid, and I was on my feet all-day-every-day for over a week; that level of activity is unthinkable to me now. I've also had a persistent cough and random, unexplained bouts of gagging since the Covid. The one thing I'm not having is the muscle pains I'm seeing others describe.
I recently came across some articles on ME/CFS and it sounds very much like what's going on with me. I went to my GP and explained my symptoms, and as expected he didn't mention it as a possibility. I stopped short of mentioning my suspicion of ME/CFS specifically, since saying "I read about this thing online" is the fastest way to get a doctor to ignore what you have to say. He prescribed a vitamin D supplement, suggesting a deficiency could be the cause of the fatigue. Six weeks on it and no real improvement.
The big hurdle I face is that I'm overweight. Definitely not morbidly so, but still beyond what's probably healthy. My concern is that any doctor will just point to my weight and blame that for the fatigue rather than entertaining any other suggestions.
My questions are basically:
1) Can anyone suggest a way to 'nudge' a doctor towards looking into ME/CFS without outright saying it?
2) Failing that, how do I get them to look past my weight and actually take my concerns seriously?

Hi all,
I'm starting my fitness journey again after falling off the band wagon. I'm not good at setting up a program (too much, too little, too long etc) so I'm looking for a program or online coach that can help me get back on track. I'm a 38 year old female, and I've noticed that when I lift heavy my joints start to feel it, I get stiff and achy. I would like to get back in shape - build some strength, have good conditioning and be mobile and move fluidly without aches and pains and stiffness. Basically all round fitness that allows me to play a pick up game of basketball or go on a hike, carry heavy stuff, go for a swim, play with the kids etc and not just focus on hypertrophy or bodybuilding.
I've been on Trainheroic and Playbook and saw a couple of interesting coaches. Luka Hocevar, Jason Brown, Marcus Filly and JTM Fit have caught my eye. So I was wondering does anyone have any experience with these coaches or their programs? Who would you recommend? Are there any kick ass strong female trainers (that don't only focus on toned booty...)?
Thanks for your help! I'm excited to get back on track.

So my boyfriend works around 60-75 hours a week, makes roughly $90K/year and been living with him for 6 months now. I used to work full time but now I work around 15 hours a week because i wanted to go back to college. We had planned that we were going to buy a condo when we were going to get married (we planned that the wedding cost and honeymoon would go for a down payment) but we put that off for now.
A.)We go on two big vacations a year and then about 3-4 extended weekend vacations as well. B.) He always worked those many hours and his full time pays enough to cover for expenses, but he works a part time for savings, investments, and vacation fund. C.) When we started dating he promised me that he's a "one date night a week" kind of boyfriend, which he has maintained that promise. D.) I hate driving so he made me a "passenger princess" E.) He always keeps my favorite snacks at home even though he hides them cause I'd eat them all. F.) He is taking on most of the costs around the home to ensure that I can focus on my studies. He even helps me with homework when I fall behind after work. G.) He made it a habit that every night we sit on the couch and we talk about our feelings and things that are bothering us for at least 20-30 mins a night. H.) If I am behind on college payments. He gives me the money so I can attend my courses. He told me he doesn't expect the money back, and all he wants is appreciation.
So I basically listed this to my friends and they told me he isn't doing enough for me and I should look for someone else and I shouldn't settle. They told me $90K isn't "husband material" even though my career is going to pay me around $50K while my boyfriend is a college drop out and he's making that without a degree. What should I do? Dump him and find someone better?