Unlike a lot of people here, my MIL doesn’t really meddle in our lives. The “drama” she causes is her absolute disinterest in my partner.
In the two years I’ve lived with my partner she’s called exactly ONCE and it was for like 20 minutes. She’s never sent a card or a birthday gift. I’m dreading my partners upcoming 30th birthday bc I’m fully expecting her to forget and it to really upset my partner on such a milestone birthday.
I just don’t understand how a mother could have so little curiosity about their own child, a kind and smart and beautiful child at that. She put my partner through hell as a child with her drug addiction and rotating door of shitty boyfriends. The least she could do is send a fucking card on her 30th birthday. Fuck. Her lack of care and ability to make amends is so vile.
I stalk her Facebook sometimes and she posts all sorts of things about Jesus and being kind to others and living with integrity. The irony of it all would be funny if it wasn’t so horrible. Lady you are no contact with two of your children and my partner is low contact. Read the room.
Of course she sent my partner a giant rant of a text last year about how addiction is a medical issue and how horrible it is that her other children can’t forgive her, bc she would forgive them! I really wish my partner would call her on her shit when she does things like that, but it’s probably a lost cause, and I think my partner is scared she’ll cause her own mom to ghost her :( awful awful awful person. I don’t get how my sweetie pie partner could come from a woman like that.

Here I am, even in my sleep, being woken up by thoughts of you. Even knowing I’m not in your mind. I’ve never been. You never cared. You revealed yourself little by little. I just can’t believe I allowed myself to be so gaslit by you. All the times you wrong me and gave me the worst excuse, always blaming me for something you do.
You’re cruel and I fell the perfect victim. What holds me back from reaching out is remembering that even the sweet moments were a lie. You lied about so much, I can’t believe the “I love you” was true even a single time. You’re the one that reached back out last summer and said “I like you a lot and I feel like saying the L word with you.” Then, it all started again… I remember you saying “is that your other boyfriend?” in the garage of your old place when I answered to a call…
When you got back and we stayed this time, I simply asked about what was happening and that was the first time you blew up on me in person! But guess what? He was there for me right after, when you made me go away? He was waiting to cheer me up. You’ve ruined my love for you as well as my friendship with him. Yes, friendship. He never wanted anything back. I wonder if you saw his text and that pissed you off. He was just talking about a soccer match. Innocent stuff. Normal people talk about things, you know? Not just yell at people they say they love and treat them like absolute garbage. Now, get out of my head and let me sleep. You’re a demon I no longer allow to haunt me. I can no longer romanticize all things you’ve done. Every single word was a lie. You made me feel like a complete idiot. My friends watching it all happen and thinking “why the heck does she put up with this? She’s so above his level. It’s insane. How doesn’t she see the lies and mistreatment?”. Me, a person before described as the most intelligent and strong of the group. Now, nothing but a fool.
I see through you. That no longer serves you. That’s why you chose to be so cruel. I liked you because I thought you were sensitive, open, vulnerable, honest, intelligent, organized and devoted. As soon as I was hooked, you treated me like a doormat, a punch bag, trash. All good. Just stay out of my head. Stay out of my life. There is no room for anyone so vile here. I’ve cut off friends who are shady as if they were nothing. Standards, you know? Time to keep you cut off as well. Let me sleep. Stay TF away!

TW: Homophobia
I 22F have come to a predicament with my family situation. I have recently moved back into my father's house with my partner 21 MTF. We had recently lived with her dad before but family drama had insued with her father not being the best with his finances (plus some other things such as moving a women we don't know in + plus her kids). My dad is happy to take us in and we are adjusting to living back with my family. Everyone in my family knows I am LGBT and are okay with it. I am also a detranstioner and have a feminine appearance but a maleish voice (so people often think I am MTF). The problems lies in my sister's boyfriends views and his need to debate me. One day my sister's boyfriend was over and I was cooking dinner. He randomly had asked why I didn't like him, I had expressed this opinion to my sister but never openly to him. I wasn't really caught off graud by the question because yes it was true I didn't like him and the only reason I am polite was to keep peace is for my sister. I told him I disliked him because some of the views my sister had shared with me that he had. Such as him questioning my partners identity because at the time living with their dad they could not express it out openly near their family. We had some discourse back and fort and that was that. We didn't fight but talked. The next few days later a topic comes up about LGBT people again in which I believe people protesting against gay people and telling them they are going to hell is hate speech but my sister's boyfriend believes this is just freedom of speech. Then it turns to the topic of race and other such things. He tells me to drop the topic and he goes to my sister's room. I happen to walk by my sister's room as it right next to mine. I hear my sister's boyfriend talking about what had just happen after he had told me to drop it and I got very upset. I started to then talk to my dad in his bedroom about the discussion we had like how he compares racism against black people is the same against the racism against white people. I do think white people do experience discrimination but they do not experience racism the same as black people (such as losing a job based on skin color, having their natural hair deemed as inappropriate and little black kids wishing that they had been born white). I may not experience this myself as a white person but I do sympathize and do face discrimination myself as someone who can't hide their LGBT identity due to my voice. I start yelling and calling him stupid from outside of the door because of the impulsive angry I was experiencing. Mostly due to the fact he was talking about me behind a door in a place I live. I have BPD and have been experiencing horrible mood swings and tend to use my heart more then my brain in situations. Me and my father leave a few minutes after as we need to pick up my partner from their job. I break down crying in the car about how I'm feeling. I tell my father about my dysphoria and how I'm treated out in public. How some people call me "he" and saying things along the lines of "well I didnt expect that voice to come out of you". Also how I feel like I won't be accepted into female only spaces. I'm scared to even talk in the women's restroom because I don't want to make anyone comfortable despite being born a cis female. And I feel like my sister's boyfriend only brings up these topics bc I am a detranstioneLGBT so I can confirm his opinion as a cis white straight male. The reason I cried so hard is because even though I'm not black I know what it's like to be discriminated against. I know what it's like to have your problems belittled and be seen as over dramatic. Plus his comments defending people for being homophobic at the start were horrendous. "I don't believe that but people can say you can go to hell and be against gay people". I literally just wanted to stop being LGBT because how unfair the world could be. I just want to experience a pride parade without being told I'm going to hell. I want to feel comfortable holding my partners hand and just talking out in public in general without receiving weird looks when I open my mouth. I just want everyone to treat people with love, kindness and respect. Once I had calmed down I texted my sister that I was sorry for yelling at her boyfriend through the door. I may not be sorry for my opinions but I do believe I took it to far by doing that. I also told her I would apologize to him in person. In a few days I apologize in person for yelling at him and explained why I had gotten angry and upset after hearing him talk to my sister after he explicitly said to drop the subject. Explaining how I face my own discrimination and words like his can downplay racism and discrimination that happens to others. We are on friendly terms but thin ice imo. Later the day I express how my mom would say stuff to me when I was 15 when I came out as a lesbian such as "when are u goung to marry a boy" " you just havnt met the right man". My sister's boyfriend then askes me what is my sexuality. I tell him I'm bi. He then goes on to tell me I'm not bisexual since bisexual people only date cis men and cis women and I date a transwomen. I calmly explain that bisexuals can date cis or trans people and that not wanting to date trans people as bisexual is just a preference. He said "I disagree I know bisexual people who don't date trans people and that you are just pansexual". I replay with "okay". I was kinda just done arguing with this person having try to proof myself for a man that I don't even like. The rest of the night ends quietly and I go to take a shower. I think and reflect on the situations and how he only debates me. How I am the only LGBT person in the house and how he only brings up mostly LGBT issues to me. I feel upset my sister associates with a person I see as homophobic (making asscues for homophobes, saying children are better with straight parents and saying LGBT people are shoving their lifestyle down people's throats). I have been scared of this ruining me and my sister's relationship and she knows. I had expressed it her after the breakdown I had when her boyfriend left the house. Yet I feel like why does she feel the need to be with someone who questions my identity and existence so much. It feels disrespectful to me it's like having a black sibling then dating someone who is racist. I don't think my sister is homophobic as she agrees with topics that I bring up. I talked to my sister about how I was feeling about our relationship. I told her I don't want to give her ultimatum and I don't want her to break up with someone she likes. I just want space until I can speak to my consular. I just want to love who I love without being debated and questioned by only bc I'm gay. But I also feel like an asshole for asking my sister for space. I just don't know what to think. My sister is my twin and I love her but it's just hard. I don't know what to do

Hey guys, as the title suggests, I am looking for some friend to talk to on regular basis. I am a grad student living in TX. I like to watch anime and some cartoons, South Park being the fav. Looking for some friend to chat/talk on daily basis. I am also into play PC games so maybe we can team up. Been a bit lonely lately, inundated with school tasks and job stuffs. So yeah we can talk if you interested. Extra points if you into tech :) Also I do have discord if wanna chat there (DONT TEXT IF YOU WANT TO SEND YOUR DICK PICS. ITS SAD )

I've been diagnosed with BPD since I was 17 (I'm 24 now) and I've done a lot of different therapies for it. I thought I was getting better for the longest time because I thought I had my emotions and everything under control, especially in relationships. I've been seeing my boyfriend for roughly 2 years and I've noticed I've completely went off the rails. Any sense of emotional stability I've had before has completed disappeared. 2 years ago I was holding down a stable and really good paying job for 3 years and I think they liked me considering they trained me in every department and would always complement my work. I also had lots of friends and was very social, I even had friends that I was friends with for 9 years (there would be a few years in between where we wouldn't talk because of them moving or just different life pathways but always found our way back to each other). I also was in university and bought a car from the dealership and my credit score was really amazing too. I really felt like my life has direction at that point. That was until my dad got his second DUI and went into rehab and came out of rehab doing meth and completely flipping out. That's when I met my boyfriend. It was such a a rough time for me, I had to talk to the cops a lot and get a restraining order against my dad for awhile. My boyfriend was unlike anyone else I dated, he didn't try and force me to have sex and I waited awhile before hooking up with him, and even before we had hooked up he was there to support me through everything! I was so appreciative and really fell in love because I thought he was so compassionate. He had recently went through a break up so I had a sneaking suspicion I was a rebound and I just wanted to know where he and him stood. He promised me I wasn't a rebound and he hadn't talked to his ex for a few months. My BPD started flairing up and I went through his phone (I'm sorry I know it's bad but I developed this bad habit from my last ex being with him for a whole year and trusting him but seeing millions of girls messaging him till I finally had a hunch and checked and was mortified, I just didn't want to waste my time again) I found text messages between his friend and him saying that if he hooked up with me he'd basically be tunnel brothers with all his buddies (which is far from true, he thought I hooked up with both his friends but I only hooked up with his one other friend once when I was blackout at a party and I didn't even really want it to happen) it hurt my feelings to feel like he was talking about me like that to his friends and kinda made me feel like a whore. I ended up flipping and waking him up with a garbage bag full of his stuff and sent him home. We ended up talking it out and we started hanging again. But then whenever he got drunk, he'd call me his ex's name, and he called her and said he loved her and missed her. I was devastated once again, but now I felt like an easy rebound whore. So we once again fought and he convinced me it wasn't that way, just to go and hook up with her the one night I asked for space (he is extremely codependent). I was pissed and tried to convince myself I was done with him. But I'm stupid so I forgave him, I think I only did that because of all the trauma I was going through with my dad, I really wanted someone to be there for me and hold me and tell me everything was okay. He was back at my place again for awhile and then he disappeared to his ex's place for a whole week and swore on his life he didn't hook up with her and was just there to support her through a rough time (he only recently told me they did actually hook up). I spent the whole week crying at work and just being miserable. He begged me to stay with him and I did, which is something I've never done before. I've never ever ever let someone disrespect me like this before, but I felt so low and vulnerable. We were together for awhile after all that and it was so hard for me to not want to abandon him at any fight we had. We fought a lot and were pretty miserable together. I was really trying to break things off but he kept claiming he really wanted to be with me. He hooked up with a new girl he met and was hanging with secretly behind my back at his friends place for a month or two. What made me really mad is I would let him drive my car over there while I was at work and I bought an Xbox for him to use at my place and he was playing games with her while I was at work. Anyways he hooks up with her and she has BPD too. So off the hop she started tracking his location and everything, so he came clean to me about it and told me she was crazy and regrets doing it. I told him that he should just be with her and just leave me alone. She ended up needing help and he convinced me to go pick her up and help her get drugs. She ends up getting me and him into doing those drugs (we've done it before and were completely sober, just have a hard time saying no when it's right in front of me). We all ended up going on a 7 day bender and by the end of it I was all alone and the most mentally fucked I've ever been. They ended up dating. For a whole month he kept pressuring me to come over and give me drugs to drive them around and he even pressured me into a threesome. I only did it because I'm stupid and just did kinda want to be high and see him. They were absolutely vile to me while I was there and I finally got the back bone to block them and sober up. She would make millions of tiktoks about how she fucked him in the bed beside me to put me in my place and how she wants to beat me up now that I didn't want to be their bitch. She even threatened to send a whole gang of people to my house if I didn't send her money at one point. I was nothing but nice to her, swear on my life! She wanted to put me in my place because I warned her that he can be cheaty and to watch out! And she claimed I was trying to break them up. She still to this day posts about me and it's been a year since him and her were last together. Anyways, I was dating someone and doing shitty but alright. Sober, university drop out, bluey watching, chain smoking, loser on medical leave from work. My ex got me up and I dropped everything to meet up with him and to hear how shit his life was without me (hopefully) and it was. He GOT HER PREGNANT!!! And was absolutely MISERABLE! I was rolling. I wanted to laugh in his face and go back to eating cupcakes and watching bluey buuuutttt I self sabotaged my life and decided I wanted revenge on the girl for being a dick to me so I broke up with my boyfriend ( I held him back anyways, he deserves way better then a dumpster fire like me) and I hooked up with him while she was pregnant and behind her back and threw it in her face and then laughed at the tiktoks of her balling her eyes. I know I'm horrible, I really wasn't thinking right, I was kinda off the rails and sick of feeling like everyone gets to shit on me and have no repercussions, if I could go back in time I would have never met up with him. I didn't want to get back together but I ended up hooking up with him long enough that we did (the sex is the best I've ever had for some reason and he really makes me feel safe because of being there for the stuff with my dad). Getting back together with him made all my friends drop me, they were already mad at me for being too depressed and reclused for awhile.I was an ass to him though, constantly mad about him even being with a girl that was so cruel to other girls like that (even though I kinda was cruel to her by taking him back for revenge for all the shit she did to me). We were once again miserable together but I had quite my other job and now we were miserable and broke. my mom got us a job together and we started to work and save up for an apartment (I'm good at saving, he blew my money and his). I ended up having to borrow the money from my grandma for first and last ($3000, which I still have to pay her back for) I was also the only one allowed on the lease because of my good credit score and before we moved in, while I was working over time, he was looking at the girls onlyfans. Turns out he used his first paycheck to subscribe and look at her shit. It was a big blow up fight and he told me he only wanted to see if she was posting their videos they made together. We already had the apartment lined up so I forgave him and told him to just be honest with me and to never do it again. By that point I was so angry and resentful towards him, I was miserable everyday. He refused to cuddle with me or be affectionate with me at all or even have sex with me. I started becoming an angry violent alcoholic and we started to go at each other. I fucked his teeth up and he left me all bruised up. Our apartment was disgusting, he never helped me clean or cook or do laundry, he just played videogames and ignored me. He also brought his dog that he got with him and that girl together to our apartment and it wasn't house trained so it peed on everything. The dog peed on the couch I bought so much that I had to pay to throw it out. It peed on my Tv remote, laptop, bed and pillows, like literally everything. I dislike dogs because my parents would get aggressive rescues when I was a child that would attack me and I grew up to find them loud, obnoxious, and gross. I was the only one cleaning up after his dog. I found him on onlyfans again buying a bunch of girls content when he couldn't pay his phone bill that was in my name since he had no credit to get a new phone ( I got him a brand new phone and a phone plan), and he was even short on rent most of the time. He literally would beg them to meet up and everything. I was officially numb and done. I tried for a whole week to break up with him sobbing and begging for me not too, he begged me to give him one more month and I agreed. But then his dad died. I was such a a cunt to him though when his dad was dying because of the onlyfans stuff and I dislike dogs and his mom has 13 dogs and her house is covered in piss, shit, dirt, and dog hair. The dogs literally pee on everything. So I tried to support him from a distance, even though I drove him to the hospital and made sure to buy his dad blanket and slippers and soup when he couldn't eat the hospital food. But when it came time for us to wait out his death at his mom's place, I really didn't want to be there for him. I wanted to be able to come during the day but then spend the night at my parents place which was 10 minutes away. But he made me stay and we fought a lot. After his dad past, since we took so much time to take care of him we ended up losing our jobs. I instantly applied for welfare to make sure we could still pay rent, he on the other hand didn't. So I had to borrow money from my mom to pay his half of the rent. I also had to start going to the food bank and he refused to come with me even though I was anxious. I had to make him apply for welfare to help me because he refused to let me have my friends move in for us to be able to pay rent. Eventually I had enough and broke up with him and instantly hopped into a new relationship. I spent the whole month away from him anxious and feeling like shit, he was absolutely miserable and missed me and called me crying everyday. I ended up finding out I was pregnant with his kid (break up sex 🙄) and so I got back together with him and ended up misscarry on Valentine's day, which was not my worst Valentines day lmao. But since getting back together he's made major improvements and swears on his life he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and I hates himself everyday for what he did to me. He has made major improvements but now I'm so broken and fucked up, I've become just like him when he was treating me like garbage. We had to move into his mom's place since my dad started doing meth again and I have another restraining order against my dad. I just feel triggered constantly at his mom's place. So should I even bother staying with him at this point? He has changed a lot, but now I'm extremely toxic and miserable. I don't know anymore if I'm dumb for believing him still and if I should just get a backbone and leave for good?

"Chapter I:
Hot sand fills your mouth and burns your skin. You’re face down in what all your senses are telling you is a scorching wasteland of sand and sun. You remember nothing of how you got here. Some of you remember a battle, a dungeon filled with danger and treasure, a purse in your palm deftly snatched from a belt in a crowded street, or negotiating in a high court surrounded by nobles and leaders. That is now neither here nor there. Now, you have awoken half-buried in a place where sand stretches in every direction, the sun beats mercilessly down and steals the water straight from your pores, and distant looming mountains of barren rock shimmer and waver in the heat. Adventurer, this is not a threat, but a solid unavoidable truth. Escape this desert or you will die."
The game takes place in the Anauroch desert (though your PC won't know that right away). I'm aiming for a sort of hardcore, gritty, unforgiving feel. The game will be mostly focused on text-based roleplaying. Battles will be conducted in a sort of montage fashion where the players state their strategies and resources they expect to use. I as the DM will then play out combat based on this, but interjections and changes in strategy are completely fine. Here are some rules for character creation if you're interested:

• Expected post frequency: 1-2 posts per player per week.
• D&D Sources: Any official books. Please list all the sources you've used and keep lore specific to the Forgotten Realms campaign setting.
• Starting level: 10
• HP: You can roll for it each level or take the average
• Attribute scores: Roll 3d6 a total of 6 times. If you have 4 or more scores at 9 or below, you may reroll all your scores.
• Sanity score: Try to have your character sheet of choice have space for a sanity score. Your sanity score is not rolled for. Instead, it will be the average of your wisdom and constitution ability scores rounded to the nearest whole number. More information concerning this is in the google document below.
• Starting equipment: NONE. You're naked ;D
• Note on background flavor for your character: Your character will start off with amnesia and have maybe their past 5 years of memories completely erased.
• What's ok to meta: You can set your character up to be prepared for the desert environment. Being naked is not something your character would've expected though.
• Additional information: Custom rules that we'll be using for this session are listed in a google document that I'll provide. These custom rules will involve sanity points, party morale, grave and mortal wounds, and body part-specific wounds.

If you're interested, send me a DM!

My question is about a Reconstruction-era historical anecdote provided by Trump lawyer John Sauer that seems to refer to some event I cannot find that preceding the Compromise of 1877. You can read the exchange from this PDF transcript here from the top of page 24:
https://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/argument_transcripts/2023/23-939_l5gm.pdf
Or from this 2-minute YouTube audio recording:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB7d6SKWo5M
Here is the text of the exchange:

JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: So apply it to the
allegations here. What is plausible about the
president insisting and creating a -- a
fraudulent slate of electoral candidates?
Assuming you accept the facts of the complaint
on their face, is that plausible that that would
be within his right to do?
MR. SAUER: Absolutely, Your Honor.
We have the historical precedent we cite in the
lower courts of President Grant sending federal
troops to Louisiana and Mississippi in 1876 to
make sure that the Republican electors got
certified in those two cases, which delivered
the election to Rutherford B. Hayes. The notion
that it's completely implausible I think just
can't be supported based on the face of this
indictment or even really --
JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: Knowing that the
slate is fake? Knowing that the slate is fake,
that they weren't actually elected, that they
weren't certified by the state, he knows all
those things?

I tried to look up on what he was specifically referring to, but I couldn't find anything referring to the army rigging an election in Louisiana or Mississippi in 1876. Do any historians know what events he is referring to?

TL;DR at bottom!! Long post.
I work at a kind of shitty bar, where there’s a regular who started coming right when I was new. He immediately had a crush on me which he told multiple people about and didn’t hide which doesn’t necessarily bother me. I’ve had flirty guests who are into me before but it doesn’t always bother me unless they are creepy.
He progressively started coming more often when he knew I was working, and started telling me more about his life. he told me about his sister dying, his depression and his broken life basically. He kept saying how glad he was to see me, how much he needed it, how much he needed “xcherrywavesx time”. (ME time?!?! Kinda weird) It started making me feel a bit weird but like nothing bad.
He said “I need some more xcherrywavesx time outside of your work hours” and I’m trying to avoid him asking me out. He tried to slide me his phone to put in my contact info, so I told him I have a boyfriend (which is true). It was really awkward but he was nice about it.
Then he started coming in more and more and staying for the entirety of my shift (usually 4+ hours). He always sits at the bar and I can’t really avoid it since I need to stay there. The entire time I keep being clear about having a boyfriend, but he seems more and more into me. He started giving me songs to listen to.
I got a summer job abroad and put in my notice for work, and my employer said I can return when I’m back home. Guy came in and was saying how distraught he was when he heard the news, and that he needed to see me before I go. He wrote me a playlist and added his number. I said thanks and made no comment about the number. At the end of my shift I swear I saw him crying. He comes in to my last two shifts, both days staying super late and talking to me non stop. I just felt so awkward and uncomfortable! Especially since he wasn’t doing anything inherently bad. He’s nice and all, but it was just too much overall since I’m not interested in him whatsoever.
He continues to mention the possibility of us texting and staying in touch etc etc. He knows I am not single.
Then, at the end of my last shift, after he was there since the beginning of my shift (5 hours) he says: “Come on, give me a hug”, To which I respond: “I think I’m OK”. Oh my god his reaction was so awkward. Just “oh…….. oh ok….. I’m….. im going to leave now”. I feel bad because of how he told me about his really personal problems but also justified. Everyone said I did a good thing but I still feel so icky it was so awkward for me. I didn’t want to hug him at alllll, and I also didn’t want him to have the thought that he has a chance. I get the impression that he hoped I would be single by the time I return since he said “a lot can happen in X months”
Anyways, thanks for listening to my long rant. It helps me get rid of the icky awkward feeling I had.
TL;DR - Obsessed regular seemed very into me and didn’t seem to accept that I have a boyfriend. He told me some very personal things and came all the time to see me for my entire shift, writing me playlists. On my last shift he asked me for a hug, which I declined, which was so awkward and I feel icky from it.

For context, I was kissed without my consent by a guy friend a year ago when I was drunk. It was devastating for me as I was in a new relationship, and I immediately told my boyfriend the next day. That incident really put a wedge in our relationship, as he felt very betrayed, and we took a week’s break for him to think about our relationship. In that time, while I was begging him to stay and trying to convince him that I did not want to kiss my friend and it was forced on me, my boyfriend started talking to his ex again and told her what happened. In that period, I guess after a lot of talking and thinking, he came back to me and told me he believed that I did not want it to happen, and he apologized to me for telling his ex what happened as he thought we would be breaking up for good. I forgave him, and we laid down the understanding he would still be talking to her but just as friends (and not about our relationship issues), and I accepted that. However, a year later, I found the texts of them talking during that period. I feel that they were inappropriate for two people in a relationship (his ex was also in a relationship), as they would reminisce about their past together, say things like, “Maybe we would have a chance again but we’re both attached now.” To be fair, most of the inappropriate messages were from her. Sometimes they would talk about their time together, and I could tell that he was worrying about whether he made the right decision to come back to me and not try again with his ex. They were NC for quite a long while before this, and I think they were having a conversation about how she shouldn’t be talking to him like this again, but my boyfriend said, “I can't let you go again.” That really made me cry. Another time, my boyfriend was masturbating and they happened to be texting, and he insinuated that he was doing it. (not out of nowhere, she was asking him what he was doing.) They started talking about how they would be able to talk about the details if they were still together, but she said, “Your girlfriend wouldn't be happy if I did” in a joking manner, and my boyfriend said the same. Once she got drunk and fully confessed her feelings for him, but my boyfriend never reciprocated, and the next day they continued a normal conversation as if nothing happened. It was very clear that she still had feelings for him, and she would regularly ask him if he was happy with me. He would say he was. I know I was mentioned many times in their conversations, and I know my boyfriend did not share our relationship problems with her (this is something we set as a ground rule for our opposite-sex friendships), but somehow the ambiguously romantic feelings and knowing that he still had feelings for her (even though he never explicitly stated them) just made me so upset. I couldn't see the end of their conversations on his phone as she deleted them, but my boyfriend says he was the one that stopped talking to her because she confessed her feelings for him again but he finally knew he was in love with me and did not want to reciprocate her feelings. They have stopped talking for more than half a year now, and I had zero idea this was happening during that period. It just happened that I found these texts recently, and we have been fighting the whole week about it. (We have access to each other's phones, and we're okay with the other person looking through our texts, which is how I found these.) He sees what's wrong with his texts and he agrees that it let it go too far. He has been apologizing for everything, and hopes that I can forgive him. He told me this will never happen again, and he never wants to see her again. He said he truly wanted to talk to her as a friend and never wanted to reciprocate her feelings. He let it go too far because: 1. He was going through a difficult time after my incident and she was the only one who knew about it so he talked to her - I knew this then but I tried so hard after the incident to convince him that I was here for him and I was trying hard for him. He says he knew and he could see my efforts, but it took him a long while to trust me again, especially since he did not know me for long until then. 2. He was used to her being flirty and inappropriate (apparently she’s always been like this) and knew she was problematic but did not realise it was wrong to keep entertaining her then (but he realises now) 3. In his heart he knew he wanted to be with me and would not reciprocate her feelings, so he just kept brushing her off I do want to forgive him, but when I see him now I get upset because I can't stop thinking about his texts, but I know he has changed now and he loves me. In all other cases when I felt his female friends were being inappropriate, we would talk about it, and he would distance himself from them if needed. However, I do realize that he seems to have a problem setting boundaries with his female friends sometimes, and needs reminders from me to do it, but he always listens to me. If I tell him to cut someone off, he will. I don't want to break up with him, but I don't know if I can get over this and not think about it anymore. I don't know if I'm bending over backwards for him if I forgive him this time, and I am afraid that if he feels insecure in our relationship again this will happen again. He reassured me that it won't because he knows I'm here for him and we are a couple, but I can’t help but still be worried. But I love him and I want to keep going with him, I'm just afraid my trust in our relationship is beyond repair. It is especially hard knowing a year later because I don't want to be upset about things in the past but I feel so stupid being so oblivious then. I remember asking him about his relationship with her during that period, and he told me nothing was going on and they were just friends, and I trusted him. I was really trying so hard to get my boyfriend to trust me again because I wanted him in my future, while he was happily talking to his ex. It hurts because I really was trying so hard. I'm not sure what advice I am looking for here, I honestly want to stay with him but perhaps I need help recovering from this issue and regaining my trust in him again. I don't know how to do that. I have been completely open with him through this week and knows my current thoughts about this situation and is just feeling very sorry.
TL;DR: I found out my boyfriend had inappropriate conversations with his ex a year later and I don't know what to do now.

TL;DR at bottom!! Long post.
I work at a kind of shitty bar, where there’s a regular who started coming right when I was new. He immediately had a crush on me which he told multiple people about and didn’t hide which doesn’t necessarily bother me. I’ve had flirty guests who are into me before but it doesn’t always bother me unless they are creepy.
He progressively started coming more often when he knew I was working, and started telling me more about his life. he told me about his sister dying, his depression and his broken life basically. He kept saying how glad he was to see me, how much he needed it, how much he needed “xcherrywavesx time”. (ME time?!?! Kinda weird) It started making me feel a bit weird but like nothing bad.
He said “I need some more xcherrywavesx time outside of your work hours” and I’m trying to avoid him asking me out. He tried to slide me his phone to put in my contact info, so I told him I have a boyfriend (which is true). It was really awkward but he was nice about it.
Then he started coming in more and more and staying for the entirety of my shift (usually 4+ hours). He always sits at the bar and I can’t really avoid it since I need to stay there. The entire time I keep being clear about having a boyfriend, but he seems more and more into me. He started giving me songs to listen to.
I got a summer job abroad and put in my notice for work, and my employer said I can return when I’m back home. Guy came in and was saying how distraught he was when he heard the news, and that he needed to see me before I go. He wrote me a playlist and added his number. I said thanks and made no comment about the number. At the end of my shift I swear I saw him crying. He comes in to my last two shifts, both days staying super late and talking to me non stop. I just felt so awkward and uncomfortable! Especially since he wasn’t doing anything inherently bad. He’s nice and all, but it was just too much overall since I’m not interested in him whatsoever.
He continues to mention the possibility of us texting and staying in touch etc etc. He knows I am not single.
Then, at the end of my last shift, after he was there since the beginning of my shift (5 hours) he says: “Come on, give me a hug”, To which I respond: “I think I’m OK”. Oh my god his reaction was so awkward. Just “oh…….. oh ok….. I’m….. im going to leave now”. I feel bad because of how he told me about his really personal problems but also justified. Everyone said I did a good thing but I still feel so icky it was so awkward for me. I didn’t want to hug him at alllll, and I also didn’t want him to have the thought that he has a chance. I get the impression that he hoped I would be single by the time I return since he said “a lot can happen in X months”
Anyways, thanks for listening to my long rant. It helps me get rid of the icky awkward feeling I had.
TL;DR - Obsessed regular seemed very into me and didn’t seem to accept that I have a boyfriend. He told me some very personal things and came all the time to see me for my entire shift, writing me playlists. On my last shift he asked me for a hug, which I declined, which was so awkward and I feel icky from it.

My boyfriend was talking to his ex for about 2 months (from what I know) in our relationship. He dated her for 3 years online, no in person intimacy because she lives far away. But over the phone intimacy and pictures. I was on his computer going through his gaming clips and in one clip, there was a discord chat. It was between him and a girl (I didn’t know it was her at the time) they were talking about his member and how she missed it and how they would call and have a movie night together followed by a picture of whisky. (Also in the video he scrolls up and deletes messages.) I freaked. I texted him a screenshot saying what the f is this? And a few minutes later I got a call from him. At this point I’m in hysterics crying. (The crying where it’s crushing your chest) he left his college course to come home to me. We live 9 hours apart so I was on a trip there, and I was trying to think of every possible way I can get away and leave. (This was a few months ago, right before my birthday.) I didn’t know if I should stay and hear him out or pack my things and not even give him a chance. I decided to stay. When he got home I was crying and yelling at him. He sat down and tried to explain it to me. The way he explained it was it was his ex and he wanted to f with her mind because she cheated on him. After explaining he started crying. He was upset because she ruined two relationships. (I asked him later about this, he referred to theirs and our relationship). Me being the people pleaser I am, I did everything I could to comfort him because he was crying. I kinda wish I didn’t comfort him. The next day she texted him saying it was important, and I sent her a text and he blocked her. Now to present, every couple of days I think about it. I think “is he talking to her” or “ what if he is and he’s just hiding it”. I know I should talk to him, but he gets upset every time I ask him about it. It makes me feel miserable. I love him but I don’t know if I can still be with him with this heavy cloud over me. It’s put me to the point where I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’m okay now, I did very well in the past (2 years clean I believe) it was just a very bad moment of weakness. He doesn’t know about that part of me. I don’t want to leave him but I want to forgive him and believe that he will never do it again. But I know myself and this is something that will be so hard for me to overcome. its just been so heavy on me lately, I feel like I just really needed to get this out of me. I’m sorry if this was hard to read this was just right from my heart and how I feel. Also I don’t know about using swear words on Reddit because I haven’t posted much so I tried my best not to haha, sorry. I know to some this might not be cheating, but in my mind it is. Thank you Reddit for letting me let this out.

So I've been at this job for two weeks now.
I share an office with the CEO, and the rest of the employees are elsewhere.
Idk why i'm here, but it seems he wants me to be his secretary as well as everything else.
Anyway, he's always complimented me daily (sometimes even more than once a day) on my looks and physique. For example, "you look so much prettier with your hair down." and "you don't need to lose weight. girls need to be more voluptuous, like you" and "you look so nice in red" etc.
I felt weirded out by it, but tried to take it as nothing more than a compliment.
After all, I'm only 30 and he's 68. He's probably saying these things because I'm like a little kid to him... right?
but then last Friday, I went to an important event with him as the new project manager slash his personal interpreter.
Before the event, he wanted to wait together in the hotel lobby (the event was at a hotel ballroom) and so I went early.
He tried explaining to me that the people who are coming are mostly Muslim (we are Korean) and they normally bring their youngest wives to these types of events so that the men look good. And he tried saying he wants to introduce me as his wife. (he also sat so close to me i could feel his fcking breath on my neck! GROSS)
I was like WTF???
I'm 38 years younger, we are working together, AND I'M ALREADY MARRIED.
I didn't want to make a scene so I just told him nicely that I'm not comfortable lying.
He wasn't happy about it, but didn't insist further.
During the event, I spoke with some people who were around me. No big deal, they sat next to me so we exchanged a few greetings. Some asked about our company, and I told them we could whatsapp and I can send a brochure.
My boss saw this and got super mad and was totally rude.
He yelled at those other people saying "we don't need business from you! we're already talking with the prime minister!"
I was dumbfounded. How can he be SO RUDE and STUPID?
On our way home, he said in the elevator "with a pretty face like yours, lots of men are going to come up trying to talk to you all the time. If you respond to them every time, how will you do your job properly?"
What kind of a weird ass comment is that?!?!
and then today, monday, I got to work and saw this note on my desk:
"when at work, don't socialize with anyone unless told to do so."
sounds like an obsessive boyfriend to me.
I told my husband about it and he said "that sucks, but many people don't like their jobs. everyone just sucks it up. you just can't handle injustice. You can quit if you want, but don't tell me these things because they stress me out". Like what??
isn't he supposed to be angry for me?
I'm so confused. Am I overreacting?

Does anyone else HATE when someone says "what" to them either through text or irl?? Whenever I send a text message to someone and I have a feeling they're not going to understand what I mean, I immediately turn off my phone and wait for their text back to see if they actually say "what." It makes me feel like the stupidest person ever because what do you mean "what" :(. I know sometimes they don't mean it in a "you're stupid" way, but it just feels like that all the time and I honestly feel like it's one of the reasons why I stopped responding or talking to people. Yes I made this because I just got a notification from a friend that said "what" and I do not want to respond anymore.
I hope someone relates

My question is about a Reconstruction-era historical anecdote provided by Trump lawyer John Sauer that seems to refer to an event preceding the Compromise of 1877. You can read the exchange from this PDF transcript here from the top of page 24:
https://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/argument_transcripts/2023/23-939_l5gm.pdf
Or from this 2-minute YouTube audio recording:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB7d6SKWo5M
Here is the text of the exchange:

JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: So apply it to the
allegations here. What is plausible about the
president insisting and creating a -- a
fraudulent slate of electoral candidates?
Assuming you accept the facts of the complaint
on their face, is that plausible that that would
be within his right to do?
MR. SAUER: Absolutely, Your Honor.
We have the historical precedent we cite in the
lower courts of President Grant sending federal
troops to Louisiana and Mississippi in 1876 to
make sure that the Republican electors got
certified in those two cases, which delivered
the election to Rutherford B. Hayes. The notion
that it's completely implausible I think just
can't be supported based on the face of this
indictment or even really --
JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: Knowing that the
slate is fake? Knowing that the slate is fake,
that they weren't actually elected, that they
weren't certified by the state, he knows all
those things?

I tried to read up on what he was specifically referring to, but I couldn't find anything referring to the army rigging an election in Louisiana or Mississippi in 1876. Do any historians know what events he is referring to?

For a bit of background, my friend has been diagnose with B2 about 4-5 years ago and refused treatement back then for various reason and is still untreated. As far as I know I'm one of the only person she told it (even her familly don't know). A few months ago she had a major hypomanic episode and we fought a lot so I "left her in peace" as she asked. We kept in touch like once a month and she slowly started to get back down, she had a strong depressive episode un february that lasted about 4-5 weeks where she couldn't go to work at all. She can be very jealous and I noticed that if she would see me with other women it's a trigger for an "hypo jump" so I avoid sharing that on socials when she's in that state. (I don't mind being private)
But lately I kinda F'ed up, I had health issue and a mass appeared, Won't go into specifics, but my close friend have been of major support for me and when it was confirmed that there was indeed something and I needed to do further exams I shoot them a group text so I don't go through sending individual text to the whole group In the text I told them it migh be a "T-word" but I won't have the result and see a doctor for like a week or two so until then I'll go off line and won't respond but I thank them for being there for me those past months of struggles and how much I love them and they mean the world to me.
I sent the message and later realised that in the emotion of the moment my bipolar friend was in the list and she's seen the text. At this point I was in no state to handle it so I turned my phone off and went to see my familly. When I got back I notice pattern of her being "high" again, wanting top left her job and move to an other country, posting hyperse***ls content on socials, being mad and revolutionary about the governement. And I can't stop thinking I could have triggered an other episode, that the shock of suddently realising the person you know for almost 20 years might have something serious and kept you out of it, we talked a lot about trusting each other in the past but this doesn't show trust at all...
Tbh I don't know what to think of it all, I'm still waiting for the final results and I don't want to deal with her BD again right now but I do feel a bit guilty if I triggered her So from your experiences is it possible ?

Per CASPA, "Official GRE scores are submitted electronically to CASPA directly from Educational Testing Services (ETS) using a special CASPA GRE code that is different for each program and different from the school's regular GRE code. Schools can only see scores that are sent with their code."
Sorry if this is a dumb question (1st time applicant), but if you self-report your scores on CASPA, wouldn't ALL schools see it? I understand that you'd be using a program-specific CASPA GRE code to send official scores, but you'd still have to self-report the score which would be shown on your application no? I assumed that applicants just separately sent their GRE scores to each institution individually through ETS and didn't self-report if they didn't want other programs to see. Some programs, like Duke University, outlines in CASPA application that applicants must "Make sure your verified GRE scores have been updated into your Duke CASPA application. Sending the scores is not enough. The scores must be LINKED to your DUKE application." So confused!!!!
If anyone has done this in a previous cycle, I'd love some insight!

My kids had sports today- and it’s pouring rain. One of the other moms on their team sends me a text: “Do they ever cancel bc of rain?! I am already all cozy on my couch- drinking wine!” (Context: I don’t know this other mom well at all. We have hung out once socially, in a group. At that time, I was drinking. She has no idea about my lil journey. This other mom is also a huge fitness / body builder type.)
When I knew I had to REALLY change my behavior a few months ago, I went kicking & screaming. I think I was still in denial about how bad I was. I didn’t really accept & come to terms with my BS until at least a few weeks in. Anyway- the old me would have jumped at the chance to buddy up with another boozey mom: “let’s leave at halftime and grab wine! I’ll bring the special coffee cups to the game!” What shocked me today was my reaction to boozey mom’s text. I literally thought: “EWWW”. I kept thinking: “why in the world is she already drinking at 1pm on a Sunday? What time did she start? What a waste of a day!” I never ever thought I would react this way. I never thought my opinion on booze could change. I was scared about potential FOMO- which is absurd. I am not a 5 year old. I don’t need treats/booze to have a good time & enjoy my life. I guess my point is: be patient & kind to yourself. The change has been very gradual for me. Keep leaning in & doing the hard work. And, your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Just don’t drink today. Today I filled myself up with: Iced Tea; Diet Coke; Hot Tea; La Croix; Pizza; chocolate. AND- got to enjoy my kids game happy & sober.

I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. And i noticed na we have dont have so much in common. One particular difference is that he has no social media and he doesn’t want to take pictures. Ako on the other hand, ma scroll sa social media and nagpo photography din.
Nonetheless my boyfriend is very affectionate. Everyday i woke up to a good morning texts, updates kung anong ginawa nya for the day, and if nakauwi na sya ng bahay. Constant i love yous and i miss you. Lagi din kami nag uusap.
So we are kind of in a Long distance relationship right now so whenever i asked him for a photo, he will just do videocall. Minsan pinipilit ko syang mag video or take photos pag lumalabas sya. Ginagawa naman nya pero may pilit since hindi nga sya ma cellphone.
The other day he told me that he and his friends are gonna be cooking pasta so i asked him to send a photo and he replied na he doesnt take photos nga daw. I just told him not your photo but the photo of the pasta which he immediately sent naman.
So medjo nagtatampo ako sa kanya nung gabi kasi for me gusto ko ng photos eh. Di ako nag goodnight sa kanya and all. But he still sent me a message of goodnight and good morning.
Now while nagkakape ako nung pagka gising i realised na ang babaw pala ng pagtatampo ko. While other girls are ranting about their boyfriends liking other girl’s pictures in social media, dming other women as well i dont have the same problem. Never naman pinaramdam ng jowa ko sa akin na there is something to be jealous of. His actions and words say so but the photo taking and social media is really not his thing. Yung cellphone nya is a very old model (huawei) and sira na at ayaw nya palitan.
The weight on my heart has been lifted kasi pinag ooverthink ko lang pala ang sarili ko and sa mga nakikita ko sa social media na couples at gusto ko ring maging ganon. But then every couple is different. Wala man sya sa social media but he always tells people about his filipina girlfriend to whoever he met. At naapreciate ko naman to. Although he lets me take photos of him and occasional couple photos together but he said he doesn’t want it to be excessive taking.
Anyway, off to apologising to my boyfriend my attitude the other day. 😂

For context, I (23f) met him (24m) in late October. In January he decided he was moving out of state (not required by his work, he just wanted a change and to be closer to friends). We were undefined and exclusive for the duration of our dating. After he broke the news of his decision, we were on-again off-again, up until the day he left.
I called him drunk one night and the next morning I texted that I wished I never met him. He responded with "interesting take," but I blocked him before I could see it. We didn't talk for 2 weeks, then I reached out with an apology for what I said. He said he was back in town for a conference and asked to meet up for coffee. At first I said no I'm busy. The next day I had a change of plans and we met up. We had a great time catching up. When he flew back we were chatting on and off, with arguments in between. Lots of unresolved feelings.
We would sext sometimes, but then I got angry that he brought up sex every day. The next day we didn't talk about sex. The day after he sexted someone else. He told me about it because it didn't go well, to say the least. Two days later he casually called me while we both went about our business. We were chatting, having a good time laughing until he brought up the idea that we are friends. I was like okay I guess we're having the "what are we" convo now. For many reasons I said I'm unwilling to be friends and have to deal with my negative feelings on my own. We said goodbyes.
6 days later he reaches out with a resort photo from his business trip with no message. *See the attached text convo *
•I reply a day later with "nice"
•He responds "Really thought in was blocked"
•Me "I'll tell you"
•Him "I've got to tell you"
•Me "I don't want your tricks"
•3 days later he replies "Ouch but deserved"
•Me "My 'I'll tell you' meant I'll tell you if I block you. Idk what you meant but if you have something meaningful to say either say it or leave me alone."
I know this is pointless, but I'd like clarity and am thinking about sending a followup text that says: "I'm sorry for snapping. Whyd you cryptically reach out with the business trip pic after our last phone call?"
I know it might come off desperate, but I have no shame if I can get a semblance of understanding or closure. I'm still deeply hurt and never felt a romantic heartbreak like this before. I don't feel strong enough to cut ties and have been dealing with feeling overwhelmed for the past 5 days. His sudden delays in response feel like drug withdrawals and it's contributing to my mental health. Is the draft text reasonable to send?? Or better to try to let it go. I'm at a loss. Honestly this feels very dramatic of me but our last text convo is so weird and I want answers.
FEEDBACK REQUESTED. Ty for reading if you got this far.