Within the last month I have been more frustrated with this game than I have been in my 10 years of playing this game. 6.0 didn’t even frustrate me like I have been.
Every single game is an train wreck, I haven’t had any enjoyable close games in 2 weeks! Half of the losing team always has 0 damage. Idk if they are programmed bots or if they are actual people playing with their TV turned off. I’m top 3 every game with 4.5k WN8 and I couldn’t care less because it never means anything anymore. Feels like you either get put on the winning team or losing team. Last 4 games I played today were all at least 10-0.
Idk if it’s the TD a contract, alot of experienced players quitting or MM being dogshit but I’m not going to keep playing a game that only frustrates me. Especially with the current state of the world causing enough stress and frustration.

I had a boss who was hired around the same time I was and was paid three times as much as I was, yet he couldn't even type on a computer or figure out spellcheck. He gave me a negative performance review because I let him publish a document that had a spelling error in it that he didn't catch. How dare me.
When our finances started failing, I was the one axed instead of him because he was 64 and I was 28, even though he had 0 leadership skills and I was essentially begging him to communicate and be open-minded to new ideas. He was terrible at giving instructions, provided me no training because he didn't even know how to do my job, and he viewed questions as signs of me not being qualified rather than being qualified enough to pursue answers and not act solely on my assumptions, as he does.
He was fired from his previous job for running that place into the ground. I giggled when I heard that the institution plummeted even deeper without me and that they had to hire 2 people to replace my role. I had a lot of ideas to avoid that, but he didn't like my ideas and pushed the blame on me for causing failure (ultimately just following his orders). It's almost as if I had a modern master's degree and he was less qualified than me on every gauge except length of work history.
It didn't surprise me when one day his wife dropped by to say hello, and he just asked, "What do you want?" She should have divorced him a long time ago because (1) he's insufferable as a person and has no emotional regulation skills, and (2) he takes no accountability, including with raising his children.
Her first sign to leave should have been that 2 days after she gave birth to their first child, he went on a solo vacation that she didn't even want him to go on, but he didn't see the issue and still doesn't. I'm amazed there was even a second child. She does everything around the house and he'll just watch TV and go golfing with his friends. (His wife worked in a different department and called or stopped by for various reasons during my time there. We talked a lot.)
Oh, to have the unquestioned and injustly tolerated authority of a salaried white Boomer man who was bumped up the corporate ladder when it was expected rather than earned...and whose angry threats were yielded to rather than seen as red flags that he didn't know how to collaborate and was unwilling to recognize that someone may have a single insight he doesn't.
He acted like he was doing everybody a favor by working there rather than retiring. As if going on 2-week vacations during our busiest scrambles of the fiscal year (he took 6 vacations in 10 months and would more than not show up to work at least an hour late and leave hours early to go golfing) was helpful at all.
My biggest regret in life is not being 15 years older. Might have had a shot in that work economy to have a better paying job and more influence than a discarded peanut shell.

Hi! I’m starting my fitness journey & need help with where to start. Bare with me if I sound naive lol. Im trying to build muscle in my thighs & booty & tone everything else up. I’ve been strength training with no weights just to ease into it for the past 2 weeks, 3-4 times a week, feeling the burn while doing it but not getting sore after anymore.
When should I add weights & how heavy to start? Do I just start adding more weight when it stops burning/being sore after?
If I’m 55 kg - my protein intake should be anywhere from 86 to 100 g per day, correct?
Calories, roughly 2,420 per day??
78% lean muscle mass, 344 grams of carbs per day?
Should I adjust this diet if I’m wanting to tone the rest of my body at the same time? (less calories/carbs?)
I follow the diet every day even on rest days, correct?
Best way to track calorie/carb/protein intake?
How many times a week should I be working on thigh/booty muscles if they’re my main focus?
And lastly workout routine recommendations, links or anything! Any other advice/tips you have. thank you & sorry for all the questions lol<3

So i guess the title basically says it all. I live in Europe, but I do keep up with current events outside of my country, and I see so many things from the US, now before I say anything i would like to say that I know there are good people everywhere, and so many good things also happen in the US. Probably the main thing that misses me off is the gun control in the US, how it's basically non-existent compared to other places on Earth, every month there is news about a mass shooting happening somewhere and YET nothing ever changes, like people's life doesn't matter at all simply because the freaking hill billy's feel powerful because there are 5 guns in their home, that they will probably never use. My mind is blown when i think about how it would feel like to walk into a Tesco and seeing guns on the wall that i'm able to buy. The arguement is always ''it wouldn't stop criminals from getting a gun'' but have they ever thought about how many of the mass shooting were committed by just mentally ill people being able to get their hands on a gun so easily? I don't know the exact proccess someone has to go through to get a gun in the US, especally since different states have different laws, but I do know that in my country the proccess is very extensive, and you have to go through proper training, and a psychological evaluation, also a lot of other hoops that you have to jump through before being able to just own a pistol. I do believe that if the proccess in the US was atleast this extensive it would stop many people from even trying to get a gun in the first place.
The other thing is how the US is basically progressing backwards. I'm a cis-white male so I feel like i don't and a shouldn't be able to make decisions regarding things like abortions, but I guess the US feels differently. The fact the Roe v. Wade was overturned is also mind boggling to me, why do people feel like (especally people like me) that they should have a say regarding something that doesn't concern them? I do have opinions about things that have nothing to do with me, but I would never try to force it onto anybody else. I believe people should be able to do whatever they want to do with body, if I was being denied that right I would be enraged to oblivion.
There are many more things that I could say but I feel like this post already has gone on long enough, and I'm just getting angrier by the minute.
If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading my very late night rant, and if you have an opinion that you would like to share or information you think might change my mind, feel free to comment it, it won't work but you may try.

For some background, I was a certified RBT back in 2020-2022, but I ended up moving for school and haven't been working in the field since and therefore did not renew my license. Now, I am about to be hired onto a new job that doesn't require the RBT cert so they won't put me through the training I did before, but they will pay me more if I can get it on my own. So obviously I'd like to make this happen, but I'm not sure how to do that on my own or if it's even possible. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I’ve been typed in MBTI but as a multitude of different types, and only once by Socionicists before (is that a word?), but was in a very unhealthy mental place then and I’m not sure it was accurate. I've filled out the questionnaire and tried to be thorough, although I think it comes across as rather muddled in some points, so I'm happy to clarify any bits. Thanks in advance for any help or input!
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

• I study medieval languages and literature and folklore at a PhD level. I came into this somewhat accidentally - I’ve always been interested in history (not solely medieval), but began to specialise a bit more and found I had a knack for picking up several dead languages quite quickly. I always say I came to it by accident, but that sort of downplays how much I love it, and how I’ve been obsessed with history since I was a child.
• I love getting perspectives from the past and thinking about different belief systems, how perspectives on the world have changed diachronically and vary geographically. I want to understand the people of the past, sort of as an example of innate archetypical humanity in incredibly varied contexts. Reading these texts helps me understand people I know, myself, and humanity as a whole better. I also love how varied my day can be - I go to new places each year, I work on different projects each month, and I solve different problems each day.
• I dislike some of the instability surrounding future jobs - although I’m in one of the best departments in the world for this topic, it can be very difficult to get a job post-PhD in academia, something that remains a worry despite not being an imminent problem to solve.

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

• I work a lot and my partner says I don’t know how to relax. So a lot of my “hobbies” are doing things like learning extra languages (I recently started German), specifically languages that will be useful for my future studies/work.
• I work out pretty consistently, a mix of strength-training and cardio. I try to keep it even (although I read somewhere that a 60/40 split is optimal, 50/50 is close enough). I do this for a mix of health benefits, stress-relief (possibly could be considered a health benefit) and vanity. I will drop workouts when work becomes too busy though (it’s not priority number one)
• I like rock-climbing and hiking when I can, but I don’t do this daily.
• I plan future travels and work, and I also really like organising social events, but most of that is centred around organising and helping run departmental events at the moment. Despite this, I can be a bit of a shut-in on a day-to-day basis.
• I also play video games as stress relief, if I’ve completed enough stuff in the day. Games like Skyrim, Ghost of Tsushima, etc.
• I also spend a lot of time on reddit reading about various topics related to fantasy novels or videogames, mythology, psychology and psychiatry, various personality-typing systems, true crime (although less into this one than the others) also watch youtube videos about such things.

What are your values, and why?

• I value determination, grit, and intelligence in friends quite a bit, and a sort of “can-do” optimism
• I value inclusivity, I dislike cliquish behaviour.
• I sort of don’t know how to describe this, but I find it annoying when people try to interfere in my work to suit their agenda - I value a sort of friendly “live and let live” mentality.
• Following on that, I value approaching people with an understanding rather than judgmental mindset

Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

• I am not super hands on with my family - I live on the other side of the world from them - but I do like them, and keep connected electronically and through weekly or fortnightly Skype calls. I sometimes feel that they don’t really understand my interests, but they do care and try to pay attention regardless, and I know they see me as somewhat distant, but they see that as a personality quirk rather than indicative of lack of affection.
• I don’t have a super large friend group at the moment but have in the past. I’m focussing on quality over quantity at the moment, after spending a lot of time working in nightlife earlier in my life and having the massive social circles.
• I appreciate that my friends are intelligent, passionate, well-travelled and ambitious people.
• I struggle sometimes when friends don’t take me into account when I have done so for them, and I also sometimes find people a bit too caught up in their own worldviews and concerns without seeing what (to me) is the bigger community picture. I also really dislike when people try to apply moral pressure on me (that I have to care about a cause or I’m a bad person, etc.). I also find it frustrating when I’m the sole organiser of events or meet-ups.

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

• This was somewhat answered above, but I also enjoy outgoing and warm people, and people who I think I can rely upon. I try to take people as they come, though, and have had all sorts of friends.
• In romantic relationships, I like when people are ambitious, determined, and intelligent but also kind and passionate people. I like them to have a level of overlapping interests with me (my partner is also a medieval scholar, but works more with artefacts and museum work).

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

• I can be accidentally rude at times without realising, and also can be a bit dismissive of views I think are dumb, sometimes hastily so.
• I can over-explain or simply talk too much or over-theorise
• I can be a bit of a people-pleaser
• A recent conflict was my trying to organise a departmental event and the other graduate students not contributing or seeing the larger picture of how that would help our department as a community, which I got very frustrated by.

What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

• I work really hard
• I try to create opportunities not just for myself but for those around me. I think we (not the whole world, obviously, but those around me) can all succeed.
• I am thorough in everything and don’t really half-ass stuff.
• I am pretty friendly and always up for a chat or to be a shoulder to cry on, and am pretty nonjudgmental (one friend says I always try to attribute other’s actions to a positive motive)

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

• I can be impatient and don’t know how to relax/wait for things.
• Sometimes I can come across as weird or intense, and I wish I was better at toning that down and relating to people
• I get pretty insecure about what people think of me at times, and wish I was a little better or more confident there.
• I take on too much work - I have been called an “arbeidsoptimist” before
• Sometimes I can be overly conflict-avoidant - I’ll get frustrated by people, but try to work around that.
• I can be a bit hesitant about making decisions
• I have a moderately murky sense of self - hence the need for a typing questionnaire and struggles with self-typing
• When stressed, I catastrophise a lot, and can have quite a lot of anxiety about not living up to my potential or failing at the things I am working on.

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?

• I am good at keeping myself on task and working towards goals, I don’t really struggle with motivation or such.
• I’m pretty good at building connections and friendships with professors and other people and maintaining a sort of warm, friendly atmosphere in workplaces.
• I need help at times figuring which information is important and which can be left out. My work tends to spiral outwards and things like page-counts in papers or time-limits in presentations seem horrendously oppressive.
• I need help with taxes.
• I sometimes need help figuring out why I’m upset about things.
• I would like help figuring out my socionics type ;)

What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?

• I dislike cooking (it just doesn’t interest me, although I enjoy tasting different kinds of food, I am also happy eating the same thing everyday, which I do when I live on my own).
• I dislike things like taxes.
• I am struggling with this question. I guess I dislike when I cannot plan and have to wait and see about more information (not strictly a “dislike doing” answer). Unresolved problems or conflicts give me a lot of anxiety.
• I enjoy going to museums, climbing, exercise (while listening to a podcast about an interest, preferably in another language), analysing medieval literature, planning initiatives, theorising and brainstorming with professors and some friends.

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?

• I want to publish more articles in and outside of my field. I have a couple I’m working on now, which range from 19th century literature (recently accepted as a journal article!) to niche folklore topics (recently presented at a conference) to medieval travel literature (readying for publication), so that is my immediate term, along with some travel for language-study later in the summer.
• Long term, I want to finish my PhD and become a professor in my field at a research-heavy (R1 or the equivalent) university
• I hope to master more languages (I need working competency in 5 to even pass my PhD qualifying exams), and to do so, I plan to travel (and acquire funding for that).
• I also want to be a little closer to my family, and take care of my partner and eventually marry.

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?

• I have a lot of trinkets, artifacts, candles, and pieces of artwork up in my room. They are pretty varied, from statues (a bronze buddha from Sri Lanka, a basalt Horus from Egypt, and so forth) to artwork (Dante’s inferno by Botticelli, a Dali painting is up too at the moment), to some tibetan prayer flags, etc. Basically just stuff I’ve gotten from travels or as gifts.
• I’m pretty clean, in all honesty. I don’t mind clutter, but I don’t like when things are dirty.

If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?

• Exactly what I am doing, but I’d have a nicer place to live and worry a little less. I acquire external funding for a lot of my travels, etc., so that stuff wouldn’t really change.

What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?

• I find it somewhat endearing when people talk a lot about their own interests. I can usually relate it to things I am interested in without needing them to do that for me, and I also usually just find those things interesting.
• I find it endearing when
• I sometimes find it difficult when people leave all decision-making up to me, even if they’re trying to be flexible/easy. I can make the decisions, but don’t always like to.

How do you behave around strangers?

• I am very polite, but don’t really engage with strangers that often. I can be a bit shy, and used to have a decent amount of social anxiety, but lately I’m just not interested in interacting with strangers.

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?

• Conflict really causes me a lot of anxiety if it’s with someone I know or have to see in the future. In those instances, I usually just don’t end up in conflict with them: I’m pretty friendly and try to see people’s perspectives.
• If not, and it’s with a stranger, I kind of just ignore them.

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?

• Not sure. I kind of prefer doing what I’m doing now - the research and teaching aspects. I don’t really know what sort of value I’d be adding to the world with a business, but I suppose if I could find something that was both interesting for me and seemed to fill a needed niche, sure.
• I like the business Facsimile finder, they make medieval manuscript reproductions. Perhaps something like that, or creating a sort of community centre/third place (I used to think about owning a pub, back in my bartending days).

How do you dress or manage your appearance?

• I keep things pretty simple, and try to stick to classic clothes (rather than trendy). Timeless and simple, more or less. That being said, I enjoy colours, and try to model my wardrobe a bit off of an autumnal palate (I got really into colour season theory a couple of months ago briefly, and was “typing” all of my friends and myself, now I just use it when thrifting for new clothes).
• I pretty much exclusively get clothes either as gifts or through thrift stores. I sort of really dislike shopping otherwise.
• I take care of myself physically, and keep a simple but effective skincare routine and eat moderately healthy. It stresses me out when things like skincare have too many steps, though.

Do you like kids? Why or why not?

• Yeah, I think kids are nice. I appreciate how much potential they have and how good-hearted and imaginative they usually are. That being said, I don’t always find them particularly interesting, so I guess more of a generally benevolent ambivalence from my end.

In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?

• I’m pretty fulfilled right now, in all honesty. I have work that challenges me but is super interesting and allows (and pays) for lots of travel, I have a loving partner, I have a relatively secure future for the remainder of my PhD programme (minimum four more years).
• I do wish I had a better social circle right now though, but I honestly haven’t put enough effort in to build one (I have two social circles but we’re all busy/inconsistent).

So a little bit of background: in October of 2023 I had a major life change where I started a new job at a law firm, working out 5-6 days a week, and eating healthy while practicing healthy habits. After working at this law firm for over 4 months, I noticed that I had to cut back on my weight training considerably from pretty severe shoulder pain, but at the time I thought nothing of it because of the typical "if you light weights your shoulders will hurt" mentality.
I have had a very significant right shoulder surgery when I tore my rotator cuff severely from a seizure, and broke my humerus about 7 years ago.
Soon this shoulder pain started to radiate down the back of my arms to my elbows (think funny bone area). And fast forward to present day, after taking 2 months off from any weight related activity and only doing cardio and I still can't shake this radiating elbow pain whenever I do any type of "push" activity.
I've noticed that it has become very prominent and noticeable after sitting down at my desk and typing all day long. I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this issue, but it's driving me nuts. Ive even taken off the armrests on my desk chair because I thought I was leaning on my elbows too much, but that only seemed to exacerbate the issue.
Please help!

Rain set a silent drum beat as Walker decided to start his day. Worn wounds and old scars always tended to throb when the humidity spiked. Even the wounds that the Golden Fleece had healed long ago still had a dull throb to them. The godly magic couldn't undo the mental damage; not much could undo the feeling that he *had* been broken before. The majority of his body was still asleep but he had forced himself out of bed.
He didn't have the solace of his old counselors room to keep him company anymore. That pretty much meant that he lived outside of his duffel bag or the truck that he had maintained parked ever so slightly outside of the Camp's grounds. Luckily, his powers meant that he never truly had to worry about nature taking it's toll on the things around him. He could never truly prevent the passage of time but it was fun to pretend sometimes.
So he started up the busted pickup truck and made his way into New York City. It was nice to get out into the city sometimes. Or at least, it would have been for most campers. Walker had always hated the feeling of traffic and the suffocation that driving in the big city brought. There was no freedom when it came to living in the city. Not in NYC at least, but he could make his way around New Argos.
He had arranged the pick up of a marble slab about a week ago though he had to convince someone that he was an 'avant garde artist' to buy a slab he thought might be big enough. It was one of the few times that he had thrown a cost on his father's card. He knew his old man would hardly notice the money missing and besides, he didn't feel like trying to convert drachma to human currency. The exchanges in New York always ripped you off.
With the help of some employees he loaded up the back of his truck with the slab made his way back to the outskirts of Long Island. It was an uneventful trip but it was one that was necessary nonetheless. There were a few bumps in the road that he had to worry about and the traction on his tires weren't always good but still he made it home.
Walker was actually the first person who would carve a name into the slab. It was a slow and arduous process. He had to be extra careful given what he was actually carving and though his mother had granted him some abilities, the ability to carve stone wasn't one of them. Rain left a wet trail along the marble slab as Walker carefully chiseled the name “Thea Henderson”.
The cowboy left it wordlessly in front of the Big House.
He cried himself to sleep that night.

hello. English is not my first language but i feel like i can express myself better with it for some reason so sorry for any mistakes or spanglish.
I (21f) was adopted by my overall great parents, had a great childhood until i was like 8 when my parents got divorced. My mom had been having some emotional desregulations since she got diagnosed with leuchemia while pregnant with my big brother seven years before i was born, my bro was born all good and she overcame the leuchemia but she started taking meds at that point i believe. I have always been protected from the whole situacion by my dad and my bro, who I owe so much, but im pretty sure after the divorce my mom just went kinda manic and was horrible abusing pills (sleeping pills i believe) and mixing them with alcohol. at the time beign 8 9 10 i just had no clue why everytime i saw my mom we were with her sister or her mom, my grandma, but now i believe its because she wasnt in a state to be left alone with me. i dont remember much for all those years, i didnt see my mom much. we reconnected when i was around 13 because she was "better" but she put me through some really horrible situations every time i saw her and now i can tell its because she was high or drunk. so it was like that for my teen years, she would be ok, i would visit her, maybe stay at her house, and the she would go sicko again. i learned to live wih it, I had my dad and was good with that cause its the only love i've always known i guess. I never had a great bond with her but we were "ok" fot my last years of high school, and then i moved away for university.
My relationship with her actually got better, basically because we saw each other once a year and called when i wanted to. She was better, or so i believed, until she visited me for the fisrt time 2 months after i moved. New city, didnt have any close friends or family nearby. That day was crazy, we went to the hairdresser and she left early because she was having an argument with her partner at the time, I went back to my apartment an hour maybe 2 after her and when I got there she was the drunkest i had ever seen her, also I was 18 so understood perfectly what was happening, i think thats the worst part. I tried to get her to go to sleep while i had my brother on the phone giving moral support (he has always had to take such a protective rol with me and act like an adult and the father of our mom.) but thats when it all just when to hell. my mom was talking shit to my like i didnt love her, never texted her and just talked to her when i needed money, and that i wasn`t her daughter since i wasn`t born from her, that my brother was his only child and the only one that gave a shit about her. and honestly after that day and situation was handled i stayed with that in my mind, i know what she said is horrible, maybe she didnt even mean it, but i think its right. i have never told her anything significant from my life because i honestly think i dont care about what she has to say about me, she didnt raise me, she just financially supported me, got on my good side with material things, apologise for all the shit she did with all that. and i think the only reason i still have contact with her is because of the money, im a student and i dont what my dad to have to support me alone when shes willing to help, i know she loves me and wants the best for me in her way but i just cant get over all the shit she has done. i also havent gone to therapy or talked in depth with anyone about it, i know thats what i should do.
Anyways, what lead me to finally write all this down is because today talking to her she told me she wanted to off herself last week. it hit me like a train. again, i dont know how to feel about my relationship with her, if i want to have any at all, but then she tells me this, that shes all alone and that no one loves her, I just cant not tell her that i love her and that im here for here. I know shes probably a narcissist, along with bipolar and any other diagnosis honestly.
So yeah, im in a pretty shit place with this so i wanted to get it off my chest, if anyone has any advice or comment im all ears.

We didn’t know it was going to be this hard. Our puppy is almost 4 months old. When does it get easier? We hired a trainer and have been following her directions: teaching the name, playing drop game, saying “come”. But it doesn’t always go well when we train him. I am confused about so many things. For example, is it ok to pull him when he is getting into bad stuff? Our trainer says we need to redirect with toys and treats but he literally doesn’t care if he sees smth interesting. I took him to a park yesterday (not a dog park) and he got a hold of a plastic bag. I tired very hard to get it out, threw treats and said “drop” but he didn’t care. Then I tried to open his mouth but it was too late. My anxiety was so high all night, the vet said we needed to bring him in just in case but thankfully he pooped it out! How how on earth do I keep him away from bad things outside?! People leave trash everywhere. How will he learn to walk nicely on a leash? I have so many questions. What about jumping on the furniture? Our trainer said he needed more space and that he is bored in the pen. So I gated off all the open space and let him walk around today. He jumped on the kids’ art table then on the couch then on the armchair. How do I teach him not to do that? When he sees my girls he chases them and bites them. He is better with my 12-year old son but still jumps and nips him. Why does the trainer suggests to give him more space if he is till not fully potty trained? Today he just peed on the floor after chasing a toy. If he is in the pen he lets us know he needs to go out by barking. But sometimes he barks so much even after going potty. I give him bones to chew on but he threw up after chewing on one today. I give him Kong toys - no interest. What do you suggest? I can’t cook normally because he barks and barks and I have to take him out. Signed up for puppy classes. Some say it’s too late because he is almost 4 months old, is that the case? We are all exhausted and overwhelmed. Our one friend said that they had to give their lab away because he was so much work. This cannot be an option for us but I am just so scared things will not get better. Should we board him? I feel bad about dumping him somewhere for 2 weeks! When do we transition him out of the play pen? How to teach him to sleep on a dog bed? So many questions! My head is spinning.

Has anyone who already had their hiatal hernia repaired and a Linx device implanted experienced a recurrence of a hiatal hernia? A bit of context, in 2021 I had wicked GERD to the point that Dexilant was not even controlling my symptoms. I had a fairly sized hiatal hernia that I had repaired followed by the implantation of the Linx device. Despite the bumps in the road, namely at 3 weeks with peak dysphagia, all was great. Fast forward to a couple months ago and I noticed very slight recurrence of acid reflux such that maybe once in a blue moon I would take Pepcid 20mg. Needless to say, things continued to become more noticeable with acid reflux symptoms (certainly doesn’t help I had pneumonia recently and some bad coughing fits as a result). A recent CT scan from the pneumonia resulted in the discovery that I do in fact have a small hiatal hernia. My symptoms, of late, have been fairly uncomfortable (despite 40mg Pepcid daily) with some noticeable discomfort where my Linx device is located. Has anyone ever been in this boat where a hiatal hernia returned post Linx device implant? And does anyone happen to know how a surgeon would handle repair of it a second time with an already implanted Linx device?
I’d certainly opt to have it repaired again but I’m afraid they will have to remove the Linx device and re-implant a new device. That wouldn’t be ideal, considering it was an upward battle to train / break in the Linx device the first time around. I already have an appointment with the surgeon for a couple weeks out to discuss a plan of action.

2024-183 / Zedd MAP: 92.15 / MLZ MAP: 88.74 / Score Gap: 3.41
Wikipedia?wprov=sfti1#) / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection
In years gone by, I was a crazed World of Warcraft player - damn, twenty years ago now. I absolutely loved being in control of my own story there. I did a great deal of role playing my characters - a habit I picked up as a teen playing Dungeon and Dragons. That sort of immersion is something I learned by interjecting myself into movies as a form of escape as a kid.
From IMDb: A New York City architect becomes a one-man vigilante squad after his wife is murdered by street punks. In self-defense, the vengeful man kills muggers on the mean streets after dark.
Years later (this has a point, I swear), I bought a video game because I was looking for inroads with a young dude who’d become my son-in-law. He was quite taken with a western game called Red Dead Redemption 2… now - strictly speaking, I’m not a western sort of movie dude but I’m like… motivated. I stared at that game and ((nothing)). So I did what I always do - I look to movies to get me going. But which?
“Hey!” Mrs. Lady Zedd to the rescue, “What about that one with Henry Fonda - Once Upon a Time in the West”
Sounded good to me - I didn’t know anything about it but anything Henry Fonda I’m going say Okey Dokey. It wasn’t something I figured we want so we rented it or saw it on Criterion Channel. As such, I didn’t do any digging in particulars. It was at the end, both MLZ and I suitably impressed, we decided it needed to be picked up on disc and I made a discovery I hadn’t expected.
I was aware of Charles Bronson in an academic sense, probably seen his face looking back at me from a VHS box at a rent house somewhere. But I didn’t realize this kick ass actor in Once Upon… that we enjoyed so much was, indeed, Bronson.
Younger Zedd didn’t really pay attention to action films during the heydays of the genre in the 70/80/90s - MLZ brought those in. We’ve got plenty of Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Willis films up there but Bronson’s easy going nature in that western (that we absolutely picked up) stuck in my mind. Death Wish is just another one of those films that slipped through the cracks - I thought maybe this film would give me that hard-edge, tough guy Bronson that I’d always assumed he was.
In a word… no, not at all. We both were shocked. Maybe the image we have of “Charles Bronson” doesn’t fit with the actual Bronson. This particular film sees him, not as some uber bad ass (as we figured) but a mild mannered, calm character that was a conscientious objector during the Korean War. He is forced into the position of vigilante only after there’s no police response to his wife and daughter’s assault.
Even as he’s out being a menace to muggers in the greater NYC area, Charles Bronson is not just calm but somehow, calming. MLZ says she thinks our omission of his filmography is a clear mistake - one we should make a correction on and in the “sooner rather than later” speed setting.
So - did I connect with my future SIL over Red Dead Redemption - no, not really. It was cool, we’re not knocking heads anymore, and I think he’s worked out that I’m cool with him, if he’s cool with me. I did, finally get into the game (its hard, I’m very limited by my bum spine) but the game has a great story to it. I played it out in small chunks over about a year.
I find it interesting that the movies have been diminishing for years now (with a few great exceptions that prove the rule) but it seems other mediums of storytelling seemed to have become cinematic - television and video games both have improved in quality and scope (here or there). Maybe the business of motion picture production and distribution is wobbly but we’re happy to find our movie on wherever we find it.

In the ’80s, the spy agency investigated the "Gateway Experience" technique to alter consciousness and ultimately escape spacetime.
The intrigue revolves around a classified 1983 CIA report on a technique called the Gateway Experience, which is a training system designed to focus brainwave output to alter consciousness and ultimately escape the restrictions of time and space.
The CIA was interested in all sorts of psychic research at the time, including the theory of applications of remote viewing, which is when someone views real events with only the power of their mind. The documents have since been declassified and are available to view.
This is a comprehensive excavation of The Gateway Process report. The first section provides a timeline of the key historical developments that led to the CIA’s investigation and subsequent experimentations. The second section is a review of The Gateway Process report. It opens with a wall of theoretical context, on the other side of which lies enough understanding to begin to grasp the principles underlying the Gateway Experience training. The last section outlines the Gateway technique itself and the steps that go into achieving spacetime transcendence.
Let’s go.
THE TIMELINE
• 1950s - Robert Monroe, a radio broadcasting executive, begins producing evidence that specific sound patterns have identifiable effects on human capabilities. These include alertness, sleepiness, and expanded states of consciousness.
• 1956 - Monroe forms an R&D division inside his radio program production corporation RAM Enterprises. The goal is to study sound’s effect on human consciousness. He was obsessed with “Sleep-Learning," or hypnopedia, which exposes sleepers to sound recordings to boost memory of previously learned information.
• 1958 - While experimenting with Sleep-Learning, Monroe discovers an unusual phenomenon. He describes it as sensations of paralysis and vibration accompanied by bright light. It allegedly happens nine times over the proceeding six weeks, and culminates in an out-of-body experience (OBE).
• 1962 - RAM Enterprises moves to Virginia, and renames itself Monroe Industries. It becomes active in radio station ownership, cable television, and later in the production and sale of audio cassettes. These cassettes contain applied learnings from the corporate research program, which is renamed The Monroe Institute.
• 1971 - Monroe publishes Journeys Out of the Body, a book that is credited with popularizing the term “out-of-body experience.”
• 1972 - A classified report circulates in the U.S. military and intelligence communities. It claims that the Soviet Union is pouring money into research involving ESP and psychokinesis for espionage purposes.
• 1975 - Monroe registers the first of several patents concerning audio techniques designed to stimulate brain functions until the left and right hemispheres become synchronized. Monroe dubs the state "Hemi-Sync" (hemispheric synchronization), and claims it could be used to promote mental well-being or to trigger an altered state of consciousness.
• 1978 to 1984 - Army veteran Joseph McMoneagle contributes to 450 remote viewing missions under Project Stargate. He is known as “Remote View No. 1”.
• June 9th, 1983 - The CIA report "Analysis and Assessment of The Gateway Process" is produced. It provides a scientific framework for understanding and expanding human consciousness, out-of-body experiments, and other altered states of mind.
• 1989 - Remote viewer Angela Dellafiora Ford helps track down a former customs agent who has gone on the run. She pinpoints his location as “Lowell, Wyoming”. U.S. Customs apprehend him 100 miles west of a Wyoming town called Lovell.
• 2003 - The CIA approves declassification of the Gateway Process report.
• 2017 - The CIA declassifies 12 million pages of records revealing previously unknown details about the program, which would eventually become known as Project Stargate.
THE REPORT
Personnel
The author of The Gateway Process report is Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell, hereon referred to simply as Wayne. There isn’t a tremendous amount of information available on the man, nor any photographs. In 1983, Wayne was tasked by the Commander of the U.S. Army Operational Group with figuring out how The Gateway Experience, astral projection and out-of-body experiences work. Wayne partnered with a bunch of different folks to produce the report, most notably Itzhak Bentov, a very Googleable American-Israeli scientist who helped pioneer the biomedical engineering industry.
A scientific approach
From the outset of the report, Wayne states his intent to employ an objective scientific method in order to understand the Gateway process. The various scientific avenues he takes include:
• A biomedical inquiry to understand the physical aspects of the process.
• Information on quantum mechanics to describe the nature and functioning of human consciousness.
• Theoretical physics to explain the time-space dimension and means by which expanded human consciousness transcends it.
• Classical physics to bring the whole phenomenon of out-of-body states into the language of physical science (and remove the stigma of an occult connotation).
Methodological frames of reference
Before diving into the Gateway Experience, Wayne develops a frame of reference by dissecting three discrete consciousness-altering methodologies. He’s basically saying, there’s no way you’re going to get through The Gateway without a solid grounding in the brain-altering techniques that came before it.
1) He begins with hypnosis. The language is extremely dense, but the basic gist is as follows: the left side of the brain screens incoming stimuli, categorizing, assessing and assigning meaning to everything through self-cognitive, verbal, and linear reasoning. The left hemisphere then dishes the carefully prepared data to the non-critical, holistic, pattern-oriented right hemisphere, which accepts everything without question. Hypnosis works by putting the left side to sleep, or at least distracting it long enough to allow incoming data direct, unchallenged entry to the right hemisphere. There, stimuli can reach the sensor and motor cortices of the right brain, which corresponds to points in the body. Suggestions then can send electrical signals from the brain to certain parts of the body. Directing these signals appropriately, according to the report, can elicit reactions ranging from left leg numbness to feelings of happiness. Same goes for increased powers of concentration.
2) Wayne continues with a snapshot of transcendental meditation. He distinguishes it from hypnotism. Through concentration the subject draws energy up the spinal cord, resulting in acoustical waves that run through the cerebral ventricles, to the right hemisphere, where they stimulate the cerebral cortex, run along the homunculus and then to the body. The waves are the altered rhythm of heart sounds, which create sympathetic vibrations in the walls of the fluid-filled cavities of the brain’s ventricles. He observed that the symptoms begin in the left side of the body, confirming the right brain’s complicity. Bentov also states that the same effect might be achieved by prolonged exposure to 4 - 7 Hertz/second acoustical vibrations. He suggests standing by an air conditioning duct might also do the trick. (David’s Lynch and other celebrities are committed adherents to transcendental meditation today.)
3) Biofeedback, on the other hand, uses the left hemisphere to gain access to the right brain’s lower cerebral, motor, and sensory cortices. Whereas hypnosis suppresses one side of the brain, and TM bypasses that side altogether, biofeedback teaches the left hemisphere to visualize the desired result, recognize the feelings associated with right hemisphere access, and ultimately achieve the result again. With repetition, the left brain can reliably key into the right brain, and strengthen the pathways so that it can be accessed during a conscious demand mode. A digital thermometer is subsequently placed on a target part of the body. When its temperature increases, objective affirmation is recognized and the state is reinforced. Achieving biofeedback can block pain, enhance feeling, and even suppress tumors, according to the report.
The Gateway mechanics
With that, Wayne takes a first stab at the Gateway process. He classifies it as a “training system designed to bring enhanced strength, focus and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave output between the left and right hemispheres so as to alter consciousness.”
What distinguishes the Gateway process from hypnosis, TM, and biofeedback, is that it requires achieving a state of consciousness in which the electrical brain patterns of both hemispheres are equal in amplitude and frequency. This is called Hemi-Sync. Lamentably, and perhaps conveniently, we cannot as humans achieve this state on our own. The audio techniques developed by Bob Monroe and his Institute (which are comprised as a series of tapes). claim to induce and sustain Hemi-Sync.
Wayne employs the analogy of a lamp versus a laser. Left to its own devices the human mind expends energy like a lamp, in a chaotic and incoherent way, achieving lots of diffusion but relatively little depth. Under Hemi-Sync though, the mind produces a “disciplined stream of light.” So, once the frequency and amplitude of the brain are rendered coherent it can then synchronize with the rarified energy levels of the universe. With this connection intact, the brain begins to receive symbols and display astonishing flashes of holistic intuition.
The Hemi-Sync technique takes advantage of a Frequency Following Response (FFR). It works like this: an external frequency emulating a recognized one will cause the brain to mimic it. So if a subject hears a frequency at the Theta level, it will shift from its resting Beta level. To achieve these unnatural levels, Hemi-Sync puts a single frequency in the left ear and a contrasting frequency in the right. The brain then experiences the Delta frequency, also known as the beat frequency. It’s more familiarly referred to these days as binaural beats. With the FFR and beat frequency phenomena firmly in place, The Gateway Process introduces a series of frequencies at marginally audible, subliminal levels. With the left brain relaxed and the body in a virtual sleep state, the conditions are ideal to promote brainwave outputs of higher and higher amplitude and frequency. Alongside subliminal suggestions from Bob Monroe (naturally), the subject can then alter their consciousness.
The Gateway system only works when the audio, which is introduced through headphones, is accompanied by a physical quietude comparable to other forms of meditation. This increases the subject’s internal resonance to the body’s sound frequencies, for example the heart. This eliminates the “bifurcation echo”, in which the heartbeat moves up and down the body seven times a second. By placing the body in a sleep-like state, The Gateway CD’s, like meditation, lessen the force and frequency of the heartbeat pushing blood into the aorta. The result is a rhythmic sine wave that in turn amplifies the sound volume of the heart three times. This then amplifies the frequency of brainwave output. The film surrounding the brain—the dura—and fluid between that film and the skull, eventually begin to move up and down, by .0005 and .010 millimeters.
The body, based on its own micro-motions, then functions as a tuned vibrational system. The report claims that the entire body eventually transfers energy at between 6.8 and 7.5 Hertz, which matches Earth’s own energy (7 - 7.5 Hertz). The resulting wavelengths are long, about 40,000 kilometers, which also happens to be the perimeter of the planet. According to Bentov, the signal can move around the world’s electrostatic field in 1/7th of a second.
To recap, the Gateway Process goes like this:
• Induced state of calm
• Blood pressure lowers
• Circulatory system, skeleton and other organ systems begin to vibrate at 7 - 7.5 cycles per second
• Increased resonance is achieved
• The resulting sound waves matches the electrostatic field of the earth
• The body and earth and other similarly tuned minds become a single energy continuum.
We’ve gotten slightly ahead of ourselves here though. Back to the drawing board.
A psycho-quantum level deeper
Wayne then turns to the very nature of matter and energy. More materially (or less if you will), solid matter in the strict construction of the term, he explains, doesn’t exist. The atomic structure is composed of oscillating energy grids surrounded by other oscillating energy grids at tremendous speeds. These oscillation rates vary—the nucleus of an atom vibrates at 10 to the power of 22, a molecule vibrates at 10 to the power of 9, a human cell vibrates at 10 to the power of 3. The point is that the entire universe is one complex system of energy fields. States of matter in this conception then are merely variations in the state of energy.
The result of all these moving energies, bouncing off of energy at rest, projects a 3D mode, a pattern, called a hologram, A.K.A our reality as we experience it. It's best to think of it as a 3D photograph. There’s a whole rabbit hole to go down here. Suffice it to say, the hologram that is our experience is incredibly good at depicting and recording all the various energies bouncing around creating matter. So good, in fact, that we buy into it hook, line, and sinker, going so far as to call it our "life."
Consciousness then can be envisaged as a 3D grid system superimposed over all energy patterns, Wayne writes. Using mathematics, each plane of the grid system can then reduce the data to a 2D form. Our binary (go/no go) minds can then process the data and compare it to other historical data saved in our memory. Our reality is then formed by comparisons. The right hemisphere of the brain acts as the primary matrix or receptor for this holographic input. The left hemisphere then compares it to other data, reducing it to its 2D form.
In keeping with our species' commitment to exceptionalism, as far as we know humans are uniquely capable of achieving this level of consciousness. Simply, humans not only know, but we know that we know. This bestows upon us the ability to duplicate aspects of our own hologram, project them out, perceive that projection, run it through a comparison with our own memory of the hologram, measure the differences using 3D geometry, then run it through our binary system to yield verbal cognition of the self.
The click-out phase
Wayne then shows his cards as a true punisher, issuing, "Up to this point our discussion of the Gateway process has been relatively simple and easy to follow. Now the fun begins." Shots fired, Wayne. What he's preparing the commander reading this heady report for is the reveal—how we can use the Gateway to transcend the dimension of spacetime.
Time is a measurement of energy or force in motion; it is a measurement of change. This is really important. For energy to be classified as in motion, it must be confined within a vibratory pattern that can contain its motion, keeping it still. Energy not contained like this is boundary-less, and moves without limit or dimension, to infinity. This disqualifies boundary-less energy from the dimension of time because it has no rate of change. Energy in infinity, also called "the absolute state," is completely at rest because nothing is accelerating or decelerating it—again, no change. It therefore does not contribute to our hologram, our physical experience. We cannot perceive it.
Now back to frequencies. Wave oscillation occurs because a wave is bouncing between two rigid points of rest. It's like a game of electromagnetic hot potato (the potato being the wave and the participants' hands being the boundaries of the wave). Without these limits, there would be no oscillation. When a wave hits one of those points of rest, just for a very brief instant, it "clicks out" of spacetime and joins infinity. For this to occur, the speed of the oscillation has to drop below 10 the power of -33 centimeters per second. For a moment, the wave enters into a new world. The potato simply disappears into a dimension we cannot perceive.
Theoretically speaking, if the human consciousness wave pattern reaches a high enough frequency, the “click-outs” can reach continuity. Put another way, if the frequency of human consciousness can dip below 10 to the power of 33 centimeters per second but above a state of total rest, it can transcend spacetime. The Gateway experience and associated Hemi-Sync technique is designed for humans to achieve this state and establish a coherent pattern of perception in the newly realized dimensions.
Passport to the hologram
In theory, we can achieve the above at any time. The entire process though is helped along if we can separate the consciousness from our body. It’s like an existential running head start where the click-out of a consciousness already separated from its body starts much closer to, and has more time to dialogue with, other dimensions.
This is where things get a little slippery; hold on as best you can. The universe is in on the whole hologram thing, too, Wayne writes. This super hologram is called a "torus" because it takes the shape of a fuck-off massive self-contained spiral. Like this:
Give yourself a moment to let the above motion sink in...
This pattern of the universe conspicuously mirrors the patterns of electrons around the nucleus of an atom. Galaxies north of our own are moving away from us faster than the galaxies to the south; galaxies to the east and west of us are more distant. The energy that produced the matter that makes up the universe we presently enjoy, will turn back in on itself eventually. Its trajectory is ovoid, also known as the cosmic egg. As it curls back on itself it enters a black hole, goes through a densely packed energy nucleus then gets spat out the other side of a white hole and begins the process again. Springtime in the cosmos, baby!
And that is the context in which the Gateway Experience sits.
[Deep breaths.]
THE TECHNIQUE
The following is an outline of the key steps to reach focus levels necessary to defy the spacetime dimension. This is an involved and lengthy process best attempted in controlled settings. If you’re in a rush, you can apparently listen to enough Monroe Institute Gateway Tapes in 7 days to get there.
The Energy Conversion Box: The Gateway Process begins by teaching the subject to isolate any extraneous concerns using a visualization process called “the energy conversion box.”
Resonant Humming: The individual is introduced to resonant humming. Through the utterance of a protracted single tone, alongside a chorus on the tapes, the mind and body achieve a state of resonance.
The Gateway Affirmation: The participant is exposed to something close to a mantra called The Gateway Affirmation. They must repeat to themselves variations of, “I am merely a physical body and deeply desire to expand my consciousness.”
Hemi-Sync: The individual is finally exposed to the Hemi-Sync sound frequencies, and encouraged to develop a relationship with the feelings that emerge.
Additional Noise: Physical relaxation techniques are practiced while the Hemi-Sync frequencies are expanded to include “pink and white” noise. This puts the body in a state of virtual sleep, while calming the left hemisphere and raising the attentiveness of the right hemisphere.
The Energy Balloon: The individual is then encouraged to visualize the creation of an “energy balloon” beginning at the top of the head, extending down in all directions to the feet then back up again. There are a few reasons for this, the main one being that this balloon will provide protection against conscious entities possessing lower energy levels that he or she may encounter when in the out-of-body state.
Focus 12: The practitioner can consistently achieve sufficient expanded awareness to begin interacting with dimensions beyond their physical reality. To achieve this state requires conscious efforts and more “pink and white noise” from the sound stream.
Tools: Once Focus 12 is achieved, the subject can then employ a series of tools to obtain feedback from alternate dimensions.
Problem Solving: The individual identifies fundamental problems, fills their expanded awareness with them, and then projects them out into the universe. These can include personal difficulties, as well as technical or practical problems.
Patterning: Consciousness is used to achieve desired objectives in the physical, emotional, or intellectual sphere.
Color Breathing: A healing technique that revitalizes the body’s energy flows by imagining colors in a particularly vivid manner.
Energy Bar Tool: This technique involves imagining a small intensely pulsating dot of light that the participant charges up. He or she then uses the sparkling, vibrating cylinder of energy (formerly known as the dot) to channel forces from the universe to heal and revitalize the body.
Remote Viewing: A follow-on technique of the Energy Bar Tool where the dot is turned into a whirling vortex through which the individual sends their imagination in search of illuminating insights.
Living Body Map: A more organized use of the energy bar in which streams of different colors flow from the dot on to correspondingly-colored bodily systems.
Seven days of training have now occurred. Approximately 5 percent of participants get to this next level, according to the report.
Focus 15 - Travel Into the Past: Additional sound on the Hemi-Sync tapes includes more of the same, plus some subliminal suggestions to further expand the consciousness. The instructions are highly symbolic: time is a huge wheel, in which different spokes give access to the participant’s past.
Focus 21 - The Future: This is the last and most advanced state. Like Focus 15, this is a movement out of spacetime into the future.
Out-of-Body Movement: Only one tape of the many is devoted to out-of-body movement. This tape is devoted to facilitating an out-of-body state when the participant’s brain wave patterns and energy levels reach harmony with the surrounding electromagnetic environment. According to Bob Monroe, the participant has to be exposed to Beta signals of around 2877.3 cycles per second.
CONCLUSIONS
Wayne expresses concern about the fidelity of information brought back from out-of-body states using the Gateway technique. Practical applications are of particular concern because of the potential for “information distortion.”
The Monroe Institute also ran into a bunch of issues in which they had individuals travel from the West to the East Coast of the U.S. to read a series of numbers off of a computer screen. They never got them exactly right. Wayne chalks this up to the trouble of differentiating between physical entities and extra-time-space dimensions when in the out-of-body state.
Wayne swings back to support mode though, lending credence to the physics foundation of the report. He cites multiple belief systems that have established identical findings. These include the Tibetan Shoug, the Hindu heaven of Indra, the Hebrew mystical philosophy, and the Christian concept of the Trinity. Here he seems more interested in hammering home the theoretical underpinnings that make The Gateway Experience possible, rather than the practical possibilities promised by The Gateway Tapes.
Possibly with his CIA top brass audience in mind, Wayne then gives an A-type nod to The Gateway Experience for providing a faster, more efficient, less subservient, energy-saving route to expanded consciousness. This finishes with a series of recommendations to the CIA for how to exploit Gateway’s potential for national defense purposes.
The missing page
One curious feature of The Gateway Report is that it seems to be missing page 25. It’s a real cliffhanger too. The bottom of page 24 reads “And, the eternal thought or concept of self which results from this self-consciousness serves the,” The report picks back up on page 26 and 3 sections later as if Wayne hadn’t just revealed the very secret of existence.
The gap has not gone unnoticed. There's a Change.org petition requesting its release. Multiple Freedom of Information Act requests have demanded the same. In all cases, the CIA has said they never had the page to begin with. Here’s a 2019 response from Mark Lilly, the CIA’s Information and Privacy Coordinator, to one Bailey Stoner regarding these records:
One theory goes that that rascal Wayne M.-fricking-McDonnell left the page out on purpose. The theory contends that it was a litmus test—if anyone truly defies time-space dimensions, they’ll certainly be able to locate page 25.
[Cosmic shrug.]
Writing Credit Vice
​
CIA Declassified Report– The Gateway Experience
Here is a copy of the Missing Page 25
There will be a Gateway Help Post following within the next couple days. Thought you might be interested in a little history in the meantime. Cheers!

Im training in kickboxing every Monday evening for an hour and my calves spasm when I attempt to bounce around on my feet as we are supposed to, it's really preventing progress and getting the most out of training, some warm ups and stretches are impossible I was told years ago when I went to a masseuse my calf muscles are TIGHT but I stretch them daily, I'm on my feet for 10+ hours a day working so I'm not static and immobile I am definitely hydrated enough (tho I probably don't eat enough)
Is there anyway to remedy this problem

My chihuahua had a healed eye injury. My other dog had slashed her in the eye with a nail when they got into a fight.
Not sure what it's called but the eye collapsed and she had to have emergency surgery.
It healed nicely and it's been a couple years since the incident but it did leave scar tissue.
I went to take my dog to have teeth cleaned under anesthesia and when I came to pick her up her eye was slightly bleeding.
The vet took the liberty of removing her scar tissue without my permission. He said it might help her see better but the scar tissue may just come back.
I am furious because he isn't an eye doctor and didn't get my consent.
He said he didn't charge me for it or the eye drops and gel so I think he genuinely was doing from a place of wanting to help her to try to see better, but he messed up big time by not asking me if that was even ok, I would have said no after everything she went through and the long recovery of her eye previously.
She was in quite a bit of pain last night but does seem to be feeling better today and eye is no longer bleeding just looks red where the scar tissue was.
My question is, is there a chance this will help her see better? Are regular Vets even trained to know how to remove scar tissue? Could this make it worse and she have even more scar tissue? Thanks for taking the time to read

Hello, I struggle with a fainting condition & my therapist has suggested to me to look into training my dog as a service dog in accommodation of that.
I started looking into the process of that, and it seems there is no requirement for professional training or even any formal paperwork, certification, etc.?
I would definitely work with a professional regarding training - but am I missing something? Is anyone just able to train their dog on their own and claim they’re a service dog?
I’d really appreciate any insight on the process going forward before I decide this is the right decision for me. Thank you in advance.

Introduction

There was a post that was recently posted and it's been asked a ton: "How do I get a computer science related job after I graduate from KSU?". I thought I'd share this with everyone because I've been down this path and managed to make it on the other side. This will be a long explanation and hopefully, can serve as some sort of guide for students. That being said, things are subjective and this is not the holy grail of how to make it. You might find all, some or none of it useful. I encourage testimonials and whatnot in the comments. Can be applied to all majors but, this primary for technology-based majors since I am in tech field. YMMV

About Me

I've been around here for a while. I was a student not too long ago, studied computer science for my bachelors. After graduating, I work in FAANG and have worked in big tech for a while. No, I don't work at Amazon. I am a senior software engineer. I touch frontend & backend technologies. I participate in hiring frequently.

Starting Out

Over the years and while attending here, there's been a weird disconnect between students, goals and how to achieve them in tech. Goals can be anywhere from learning new technologies, getting internships to securing a full time job before or after you graduate. As much as I would love for there to be a path where you can do minimum effort and still succeed, there isn't. A lot of you seem to not realize that. Getting a degree in this field is not enough. Doing projects that show no passion / interests is not enough. Being stuck on tutorials for years is not enough.
This field is much like a sport. There are very few people that can just be great without any effort. You have to be consistent. Four years is not a lot of time. It goes by super fast. If you constantly push things back and you do not take the time to learn the fundamentals outside the classroom, you will not succeed in this field. This field is at a point where there's so many of you. Every post on LinkedIn and news articles said "hey, this field is a gold mine and you'll make six figures out the gate". For a time, maybe that was somewhat true. As of writing this, it's not. You're going against people who have: better schools, better experience, etc. You have to find a way to diversify yourself early. If you can't diversify, you're going to be in a tough place later down the road. Knowledge not something you can just consume in less than an hour and pass an interview. You have to know it well. If you don't, there's someone else who will.
There's an interesting connotation in life that you're either born super smart or an absolute idiot and that you have to be smart to do computer science / programming. There are people with raw IQ that can consume things like no one you've ever met but, that's such a rarity that there's no realistic use in using that as a data point. If you ever took the time to ask someone who you thought was really good at something, they would tell you something along the lines of: I love what I do and I spent a lot of time doing this. There are hours and hours of time people put into passions that you don't / will never see. Meaning that they can no-life this shit for days on end and still come back and do it some more. It doesn't mean that you can't succeed if don't do that but, computing / programming is a very boring field if you do not enjoy it. I would seriously contemplate why you're going through this. If you're doing it for money and only money, you're going to end up miserable. No amount of money can make you do something you hate. It'll wear you down both mentally and physically. If you're doing this because it's a mix of passion and money, you're like everyone else and you gave yourself a better shot. It's a mental thing. Don't climb uphill if you rather sit at the bottom. Don't complain if you're at the bottom and you rather be at the top. There's nothing wrong with that. But, don't do it. For what it's worth, I am not the smartest person. I graduated high school with a low GPA and took college seriously because I wanted to do more with my life. Plus, being on hourly forever sounds horrible imo. Use the opportunities that life has given to you and run with it. Run far, run smart and run in a direction that you can see yourself going long-term.
Additionally, college is what you make of it. Blaming professors or the program (while I do agree sometimes) is not a solution. Blaming professors that don't speak English is a cop out. If you work in tech, you'll be interacting with a lot of people from other countries. Suck it up. Work with it instead of against it. Professors and TAs can only teach you so much. Classes are meant to give you a taste of what it's like in that domain / space. It's not meant to fix all your issues and show you the way. That's for you to do on your own time. Take accountability of your own success, explore the internet (it's free) and lock in. Stop looking for opportunities to find you. Actively seek them out yourself.

Networking

Make connections with people. I cannot stress how important this is. Especially on the Marietta campus, there's a lot of you that go to class, stingers / food, run to class and immediately start gaming and think that when your classes are over, you're done for the day. That's a bad mindset. Make connections with people. Sit with random people at stingers or wherever. Have a conversation. Find a common interest. Don't harass men / women for a date while you're at it. Keep it cool. A lot of people say "there's nothing to do at KSU and there's no life on campus". That's not true at all. It's true if you choose to put your head in a box and refuse to look up. Join a club that interests you. Get close to the people in that club who actively attend and build a personal relationship. If there's no club with your interest, make a club. Fuck it, lead one. You can make one officially through KSU or add a discord server to the student hub and go from there. You'll meet some really cool like-minded people. Lots of my connections have come from randomly showing up to a club, getting out of my comfort zone and weirdly enjoying it.

Interviewing

Brush up on your interview skills. Technical and behavioral abilities matter. Culture fit matters. A lot of you seem to walk around with almost zero personal hygiene. Clean yourself up, practice talking to people and get places. There's been this stigma that culture fit doesn't matter as much as technical and if I have great technical abilities, they'll just accept me. I can tell you for an absolutely fact that I have thrown out / tossed out resumes from highly technical individuals that had zero people skills. If you can't communicate and clean up, you're more of a risk than someone who does all those things and has a bit less technical ability. I can teach someone how to code. I can't teach someone how to take a shower or brush their teeth. Know more than just Leetcode. Learn system design. Take a course / watch a video on Linux and bash. Do not be afraid of the command line interface. Understand how things work at a deeper level. Take feedback seriously. Do not argue with people. If you future manager / colleague tells you that you need to work on things, work on those things. There's nothing worse than a co-worker in denial.

Jobs

As for internships and full time opportunities, there's a few classes at KSU that you really want to master: Data structures, Algorithm Analysis, Operating Systems and Discrete math. If you're in a major that doesn't have those classes, spend the extra money and take those classes. Do not take them online if you can afford to come in person. Take the hardest / best professors for those courses. Super important. Leetcode is quite literally, those classes merged together in a prompt-style format. If you do not understand those concepts, you will not make it in this field let alone pass an interview loop.
Data Structures - Varies. Rate my professor.
Algorithm Analysis - Varies. Rate my professor.
Operating Systems - Do not take Carla McManus if you want to learn the concepts fluently.
Discrete Math - Andy Wilson.
Having solid resume is super important. Many people who don't secure things and get automatically rejected, etc have horrible resumes. Spend the money (it's a lot) to get your resume professionally written. It's worth it. Invest in your long term career aspirations. Templates are cool but, they don't convey information well and come across as lazy. Don't put every achievement ever on there. I don't want to see a wall of text. No, I don't care if you're a Boy Scout. No, I don't care if you bussed tables in high school. You get the point. The rule of "only one page" is complete and total bullshit. If you have projects and prior work experience related to the role, list it down. Don't conserve space for the sake of keeping it one page. You're limiting yourself. I know the career center actively tells people on handshake to keep it to one page. They're wrong. I landed internships & full time roles consistently at big tech / FAANG for years with a 1.5 / 2 page resume. Do not lie on your resume. If you can't solve a leetcode hard consistently with the technology / language of choice, you don't know it well enough. I have interviewed a ton of students and people that list they know C or Python and can't write recursion or gives me a solution in O(N^2) or worse. Aim for O(N), use a hashmap / hash table when you can and do it in a language that doesn't make you fight the runtime / compiler. Trust me, we know when you're making shit up. If you don't know something say it and then, tell them to explain more. This way, you show that you have the capability to learn. Ask smart questions. Do not ask questions that have already been answered. Take notes.
On your resume, experience is only real experience if you get a W2. If you don't get a W2, you can't claim it as professional experience. A lot of background checks these days are drilling down on incorrect information. I have seen instances where people lie, get an offer, company finds out through a comprehensive background check and their offer is gone. Do not put the fate of your future income on a lie. I cannot stress this enough. A lot of students and people actively lie.
Secondly, the trick to getting a good internship is timing. A lot of you wait until Nov - Dec to find an internship and then, throw your hands up when no one responds. That's not a good mindset. Solid internships are recruiting in end of July to August. By September, the amount of open spots are extremely thin. Local companies tend to look for internships during this time. Internships are about luck after that. Reach out to people in your circle to increase your odds. A referral goes a long way. Prior experience through projects that are complex and unique go a long way. It's a numbers game. Don't aim for the highest thing ever without some sort of referral. You can still apply but, do not expect much from it. Start small and work your way up. It's extremely rare to go from KSU undergrad sophomore to Google. It takes a lot of outside work. If you happen to land the internship, make sure that you get recommendations at the end. Having real people who you worked with in a professional capacity that can vouch for you is huge. If you're in your junior year and you get an internship, make sure you try to secure a full time offer. Loop in your boss, mentor, etc. Make your expectations clear. Reach their expectations and beyond.
Thirdly, full time opportunities are rare and most new grads that get hired come from the previous year's intern pool. If you don't get converted, you have to make up that time searching for a job during your senior year. If you do get converted, keep looking because companies are flaky these days. Always have a Plan B & C. Never fully count on Plan A. If you don't have internships across four years, it's over for you. From a hiring manager perspective, it's an absolute red flag when we come across someone with a degree and no internships. That's effectively going against the point of college. You'll have to settle for crumbs and crawl your way up. Very few make it out of that hole. The bar is significantly higher. Especially, now.

Searching for an Opportunity

Do not wait until after you graduate to find a job. Jan - Early May are when most companies finalize budgets and hire. If you wait until after May, you'll might have to wait until after the Summer and possibly, October for hiring to pick up again. Proactivity is nothing but good for you. If you can't be proactive then, you won't succeed in this field. Referrals matter but, personal connections with the hiring manager / recruiter are much, much better. Work your way up. Don't discount an opportunity because it doesn't pay well. Get as much experience as you can and bounce around. Do not go into the gate thinking you're going to make $120K - $140K / yr out the gate. You're most-likely going to make $68K - $75K / yr depending on the location. Do not listen to LinkedIn posts that claim all this cool shit and how to do it. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't pay attention to it. It's a brag-fest. It's a long road. Start walking on it early and you'll reach the other side when it matters most. Trust in it.
The reality of this economy is that highly experience people have been laid off. Those people are applying to entry level roles and those roles are being filled for cheap. In addition, watch out for fake postings and scam jobs. If you take a contract job, always keep looking. Avoid jobs that will providing "training" before you even start. Avoid jobs that are less than week old. You want things that are fresh. It's a numbers game. Apply for 300+ jobs every week until you get a response back. Don't be discouraged by employers who don't respond or ghost you. Keep at it. It's a mental game.

Conclusion

I think if you do these things, you'll end up at a great spot after four years. If you're just now coming across this and you've been slacking, use this an opportunity to wake the fuck up, light a fire under your ass and lock in. If you're still in denial after reading this post and you have yet to get anything, light a fire under your ass, come to terms with it and lock in.
If you're in it to do zero work, cheat on your classes, mess around for four years and somehow wing a high salary or a job in this field, good luck. You're fucked. You're so fucked, in-fact, that you'll be wondering "why me and why is it so hard" for a long ass time. Don't be that person.

Cool Resources

Git - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvUiKWv2-C0
Github (use this as you portfolio; web devs should make an actual clean website) - https://github.com
Github Student Pack (tons of free resources) - https://education.github.com/pack
Linux Handbook - https://linuxhandbook.com/ Linux Quickguide - https://github.com/mikeroyal/Linux-Guide
Lots of subreddits geared around linux and programming. Great resources to find.
Understand: Kernel Space vs. User Space, Memory Allocation / Deallocation, Bitwise Operations, Memory blocks, processes and threads, context switching
System Design Primer - https://github.com/donnemartin/system-design-primer
Understand: Monolith vs. Micro-services, Tradeoffs between different approaches, Vertical vs. Horizontal Scaling, Load Balancers, Buckets, Data lakes, CI / CD Pipelines, Data Clusters, Client-Server Architecture, Synchronous vs. Asynchronous Context: System design is like a giant puzzle that has many forms. Create a basic design. It won't be perfect. Mix-and-match different services and know why, how and tradeoffs between each approach.
Programming language is dependent on the role and what the company favors. Common ones are Java, C++, Python, C#, JavaScript / TypeScript and C. You can look at jobs that you would like to work someday, look at the requirements and use that as a basis on where to start learning. Things constantly change. Fundamentals build up on each other. Start small. Work your way up. Do not dream big. Dream realistic. Everyone is different.

the patient is my wife(F52), she visited doc for other reasons and they essentially started submitting preapproval for ozempic without even talking about it so much. she has type 2 , on metformin, seems under control. she hasnt had the "hangries" or shakes in recent memory. she now knows she needs to eat semiregularly/what not to eat though shes pretty bad at.the "what not to eat part" at times.
its just shocked me in that she hasnt had a blood test with this doc in months and suddenly needs this non-generic drug.
plus, and its been a point of argument, she doesnt exercise regularly, doesnt do muscle strength training, and has a lifetime affinity to fad diets.
as its costly she wanted to talk to me first (im primary earner), and the office people...at least as she describes it...started pushing back like..why do you need to talk to your spouse, its your body....
this is really sus to me, seeming text book high pressure sales.
does your doctor, resist or Push the prescription on you..in your experience. hey, if its a miracle drug great. but shes no where near the "diet and exercise" portion of all the literature i read so i fear it will be a burned out cash expense/deductible, if approved, and if she does lose some lbs, they'll be back before christmas.

Hello everyone,
I’m feeling pretty stupid and embarrassed. I am currently unemployed and looking for work, so I have been sending out many resumes everyday. I got contacted by txt asking if I was still looking for work. I advised that I was and she advised that someone would contact me via What’s App. (Please note that this entire process was filled with Red Flags, but since it was no risk at first. They advised I would be helping sellers to increase their online presence but adding product reviews, by doing this would receive a commission for each task, you have to do 40 tasks per set and at least 2 sets per day to qualify for the wages. 2 days 150USDC, 5 days 350USDC, 15 days 1500 USDC, and 30 days 3000USDC. You will never get past day 4. So I did my training and made 49USDC, and they gave me a bonus one time gift of $60, plus $10 for your first log in, so after the first day you get $120USDC. You can walk away after this and I suggest you do. The second day they will give you a bonus of 150USDC, and you start to get combo tasks, these give really high commissions, but you have to add funds to complete the order and you have to complete all 40 tasks before you can withdraw.
Since they were asking for the amount I had already earned I made the deposit with the money from the first day. This created another issue. Once you made the deposit and complete the order you will now have a larger balance which means the orders will be bigger and offer bigger commissions. After I got a second combo order what was now $400 more and stupidly I made the deposit. This however did pay off and I got all my money after completing the set.
Now we on day 3, I had left $200 USDC to start the orders for each day I always like to stay low and prefer smaller commissions. I did get a combo order again this time is $800 and because I had cashed out the day before I was confident that everything would be great. But after that order I got another combo order this time it wanted $1000. At this point I backed off. In total I made about $500USDC, but I deposited $800 USDC and that get frozen and stuck because you can’t withdraw without completing the tasks.
If I were to complete this order I’m sure there will another right away that will be $2000, then $4000, it will become so much that you can’t afford.
Clearly they were showing me that’s it’s trusted because I was able to make a few withdrawals.
I had a feeling it was a scam, but after getting the money in my bank account from e transfer I got to excited, thinking I hit a jackpot job. They never intended to let me get past day 4.
They even had a what’s app group, where people would chat about daily lives and post pics of their big daily salaries, but all these people are also fake.
When I could not afford to finish I emailed their Customer Support, via Telegram and they responded, your so lucky to get a combo order, I said no I’m not cause I can’t afford they say once you complete the task it will be put right back, but you can only cash out after the set of 40 is complete.
I see some people lost way more then I did, but this needs to stop, preying on the broke and unemployed lowest form of a human being.
I wish I had saw these posting earlier, or walked away with my $500 and call it day, but desperation and greed blinded me, now I’m worse off. Please research before you get involved. I have never felt so stupid and humiliated because the red flags were there and I ignored them. I’ve seen similar jobs but not exactly the same, anyone ever see this one.

My grandmother died in February. I hadn't seen her - or many members of that side of the family - since 2018, the year I got married. After my divorce in 2020, I moved to NYC. I've had a rough past few years, emotionally and financially. My Nana and those relatives spent their time in Florida, Texas, and Alabama (where I am from originally). Whenever I visited my immediate family, the extended family wouldn't be there.
I deeply regret not making the time to see my grandmother before she passed. I grieved her immediately, breaking into tears and weeping for weeks. I contemplated and researched the afterlife. When I texted my dad to ask, "When will the funeral be? Nothing could keep me away", he replied, "5.18.2024."
May 18 is my birthday.
I typed a message asking why my birthday was chosen, but quickly deleted it. I tried to calmly ask my mother privately and she became irritable, yelling at me, "Do not bring this up to your father. He's going through a lot."
I found out over time that because the ground was frozen in Vermont (where my grandmother raised her family before retiring in Florida), and Vermont is where she wanted her ashes to be buried, they had to postpone the funeral. She had seven children who had to pick a date that worked for all of them. But still...my birthday? My dad didn't care to speak up about it being his only daughter's birthday?
Here's the thing: my whole life, I have felt like the least favorite grandchild, niece, cousin, etc. I knew deep down that my grandmother loved me, but it was clear she loved others more. One time she chose to take my cousin to Disney World the same day my family had driven in to visit her. She told my father to come the next day, but he didn't listen, and decided to surprise her instead. She grew irate and rushed to beat us home so we wouldn't find out, but my Grandpa spilled the beans. She could have waited a day to take me and my brother, but didn't. We never went to Disney World with her.
She was a devout Catholic her entire life, but rolled her eyes when my eleven-year-old-self - a Southern Baptist at the time - suggested we all pray before we eat dinner. When she and my mother found me sitting alone one day (as a thirteen-year-old), I told them I was contemplating my future, and whether I could get into Harvard or travel to Europe. She burst out laughing as if that was the most hilarious joke ever told. (She never got a degree or worked.)
I've been writing creatively since childhood, but she always told me I needed a "real career" and I couldn't dream about becoming a writer. I have been tall and thin my whole life. When I began modeling, she said, "Modeling is not for you." She showered my cousins in praise and validation and gifts. She sent me gifts and cards, don't get me wrong, but the difference in quality was obvious. She scolded me over things my cousins got away with easily.
I loved my grandmother. I love my parents. I didn't want to hurt my dad so I kept my feelings inside and told myself my birthday was not important. But then my fiance and I went to dinner a week early to celebrate, and my parents didn't even wish me a happy birthday. They didn't send a card. I asked why. My mother replied, "Isn't your birthday next Saturday? We'll celebrate you on May 20 when we are all together in your city."
After she said this, it sunk in for me that they never intended to even acknowledge me at all on my birthday. So I changed my return flight from the 19th to the 18th. I asked my dad if he could drive me to the airport on my birthday after the funeral, and he said no because he had to "spend time with family." So I secured a rental car. I would now fly from Vermont to Detroit and finally return home to NYC at midnight on my birthday.
I have lived in NYC for four years, and for four years, my parents have made excuse after excuse not to visit me. I had to beg my dad to agree to visit me in NYC on their drive back from Vermont to Alabama, which he didn't want to do. He didn't want to drive into NYC to pick me up either. Originally my parents were supposed to pick me up from the train station in New Jersey this Thursday, and I would fly back home on the 19th, and they would FINALLY visit me in Manhattan on the 20th. It was all set. I was looking forward to exploring my dad's home town with him and spending some quality time together a few days before the funeral. Then out of the blue, my mom insisted I fly in on Friday instead, under the guise of saving my PTO. But really they just wanted to get to Vermont sooner. I told my dad this hurt my feelings, that I had been looking forward to spending private time with my parents in his hometown.
Today I called them and asked for help covering my Ubers to and from the airports. I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and they know this. Nana's will insisted that her estate would cover everyone's accommodations at her funeral, and I was originally told that I would get my own hotel room. Then I found out that I would be sharing a house with my parents and multiple relatives who were part of the original discussion to plan the funeral on my birthday. That didn't sit right with me. I wanted to go for my Nana and my dad. I didn't want to have to stay in the same house as people who don't care about me.
I finally told my dad today how I feel, on speaker phone while he and my mom were driving across the country towards Vermont. I said I couldn't believe they planned Nana's funeral on my birthday, when they had months to plan for any other date. I told him how my mother wouldn't let me express my feelings to him everytime I tried to calmly ask why, why MY birthday, of all the birthdays in the family? Why did it have to be on anyone's birthday? I said this has been a recurring theme all my life, that nobody in this family cares about me. He replied, "Don't come. If that's how you feel, don't come."
So now I am crying and wondering if I should cancel my flights and rental car, and miss out on my Nana's funeral, or just go, despite the fact that nobody wants me there...and based on their choice of date, maybe they never did.
TL;DR: My relatives planned my grandmother's funeral months in advance on my birthday. I told my parents this made me feel unloved and my dad told me to not come to the funeral if that's how I feel.

I have been a very loyal customer to the bodega (nyc slang for deli grocery) for about 3 years. I only drink sparkling water due to a rare condition that I suffer from and my preferred one is Mexican sparkling water Topo Chico. I even have a t-shirt with a Topo Chico logo on the back.
I know the owner since I go there a few time a week for breakfast sandwiches and sparkling water. Yesterday, realized there was no Topo Chico in the fridge. The alternative options were Perrier from France (I don’t like France that much) La Croix which I like but there were only flavored ones and I only drink original. And Hal’s New York Seltzer but again only flavored.
I went up to Miguel (owner of the bodega) and asked him if he has any Topo Chico in the back to which he responded. “Sorry papi, we don’t sell Topo Chico no more. It’s too expensive, only you the one buying.”
I walked around my neighborhood looking for another place that sells Topo Chico but I haven’t found one yet. It’s been a few days since I had one.

Title pretty much explains it all. I used to work from home for a big healthcare company for about 2-3 months. Despite being relatively new to the job (about 2 months of actual work after 1 month of training), I was ranked towards the higher end of employees according to the statistics they e-mailed to us on a weekly basis. Towards the end of my time working there, I asked if I can move from full time to part time due to starting nursing school. They told me no and I respectfully gave them my two week notice. Well, they never asked from their computers or two monitors back. I’m assuming that the computer is locked and tracked but I was never told to return the computer. I even called their IT department and spoke to someone asking for shipping labels to return their computer (never said anything about the monitors) and never received any shipping label. It’s almost coming up to a year from when I stopped working for them and I’m considering keeping the monitors for personal use. They were brand new and shipped from the original manufacturer themselves so I’m assuming there isn’t any type of security device in them. AITA if I just keep them for myself since I already contacted them to pick them up?