Back to exploring the 20 top tips that may have a considerable impact on weight loss.
Have you tried any of these tips yet? Leave a comment and let us know how it went! 👇
11. Eat (Healthy) Fats
Dietary fats provide energy, regulate hunger hormones, and help in the absorption of fat-soluble vitamins. So, even when you are trying to cut weight, eating fats is essential. Healthy sources of fats include avocado and olive oils, as well as seeds, nuts, and oily fish.
12. Practice Mindful Eating
Mindful eating is based on a practice of Buddhism – mindfulness which means focusing on the present while acknowledging your feelings and sensations. This approach requires an individual to entirely focus on food while eating. It encourages an individual to gain full awareness of their eating experiences. Basically, it involves eating without distraction, slowly while paying attention to how the food tastes, smells and looks. This practice promotes healthy eating habits as you get to make eating an intentional act instead of an automatic one. In the long-term, it may promote weight loss.
13. Chew Slowly
Putting in a conscious effort to chew your food more slowly may help increase weight loss. Slow eating has been shown to reduce energy intake during meals. According to a small study, caloric intake was higher with chewing 15 times per bite than with 50 times per bite (4). So take time to appreciate the food you eat, chew slower, and do not hurry through meals.
14. Find Exciting Ways To Cure Boredom
Many of us often resort to snacking when boredom hits. You might find yourself in the kitchen looking for something to eat. So keeping your mind engaged is a great way to avoid random snacking throughout the day. Unhealthy snacks contain a lot of extra calories, which are unhelpful for weight loss.
Try out simple, fun activities like gardening, crocheting, knitting, cleaning your room, or reading a book. Resist the urge to reach out for a candy bar or a bag of chips. Make the smarter choice and fill up your extra time doing something fun.
15. Walk More
Walking is an excellent form of a low-intensity workout. It is one of the best weight loss tips for women over 30. In the case you have a busy day at work and cannot do a full workout, walking is a great alternative. It is a simple way to remain active and burn a few extra calories.
Instead of using the elevator, try taking the stairs, walk to the grocery store instead of driving there or take a short evening walk. The best part is that you can listen to music, an audiobook, or your favorite podcast while you walk.
16. Eat Your Calories
It is a fact that weight gain is a result of the consumption of extra calories. So when it comes to weight loss, many women tend to go too low on calorie intake. It is important to note that calories are essential for the proper functioning of the body. It is only when you consume more calories than the body needs does it become detrimental.
17. Avoid Added Sugar
Added sugars are any sweeteners added to food or drinks during preparation or processing. They contain extra calories but lack essential macronutrients, vitamins, and minerals. Added sugars increase the risk of developing heart disease, diabetes type II, and weight gain (3).
Sodas, energy drinks, candy, and desserts are the most common sources of added sugars. And given that foods with added sugars are sweet, they are very tempting and easy to overeat. To promote weight loss and your overall health, cut back on added sugars.
18. Practice Yoga
Practicing yoga promotes physical, spiritual, and mental development to bring out a better version of yourself. Active forms of yoga may be a great tool to help you cut weight. These intense types of yoga like power yoga, hot yoga, and ashtanga may help you burn more calories as they involve a series of fast-paced poses.
Yoga may also help increase metabolism and increase muscle tone. Yoga also helps reduce stress levels, therefore, reducing stress eating. With weight loss being your primary goal, it is best to combine it with other forms of exercise like walking or jogging.
19. Swim More Often
Swimming is a great way to burn calories and tone muscle while having fun. With low or moderate laps, you burn about 423 calories per hour. It is also a full-body workout. So, call your girls, pack that colorful bikini you love, and go for a swim.
20. Snack Smarter
Choosing healthy snacks that are low in calories is a great way to promote weight loss and reduce hunger levels between meals. Choose snacks that keep you full for longer and reduce cravings. Avoid sugary or salty snacks as they tend to make you hungry (6).

Nothing about me personally other than I'm thinking I don't need to drop 1800 on a phone anymore. Why do you personally have a fold over a candy bar.
Just need some food for thought to help me decide if I need to upgrade to the fold 2 or 3 or whatever or if I should just go back to candy bar. Don't need anything negative trust me I'm well aware, just want to know what's keep you on the fold side.

Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
ACADEMIC TASKS MY TEAM AND I CAN COMPLETE:

• Entire Degree Programs
• Full Online Classes (1 - 20+ Weeks Long)
• Proctored Exams Quizzes Tests
• Homework Assignments
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Projects & Labs
• Discussion Posts
• Annotated Bibliographies
• Employment Assessments
• Certification Programs

MY TEAM'S CLASSES OF EXPERTISE:

• Statistics: AP Statistics Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Intro to Statistics Psychology Statistics Social Science Statistics Statistics & Probability Statistical Methods Statistical & Probability Models
• Math: Advanced Functions Algebra Calculus 1, 2, 3 (and 4 in some schools) Vector Calculus Differential Calculus Integral Calculus Multivariable Calculus Differential Equations Discrete Math Discrete Structures Finite Mathematics Functions Geometry Linear Algebra Precalculus Probability Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry Quantitative Methods & Reasoning
• Science: Anatomy & Physiology Astronomy Biochemistry Biology Chemistry (General, Inorganic & Organic) Dental / Pre-Dental Earth Science Engineering (Almost All Types) Environmental Science Epidemiology Fluid & Mechanics Geology Geophysics Medicine / Pre-Med Microbiology Neuroscience Physics Physical Science
• Business: Accounting Auditing Banking Business Administration Business Law Corporate Finance Cost Accounting Econometrics Economics Finance Financial Institutions Financial Reporting Global Economics Governance International Economics Macroeconomics Management Marketing MBA Courses Mergers and Acquisitions Microeconomics Operations Management Principles of Accounting Real Estate Taxation
• English: Business Writing Creative Writing Critical Reading Digital Media Eastern Literature English Literature Essays Expository & Persuasive Writing Fiction Writing Greek and Roman Philosophy Grammar Poetry
• Humanities & Social Sciences: Architecture Anthropology Art History Communication Criminal Justice Forestry Ethnic Studies Film History Law Pre-Law Music Philosophy Political Science Psychology Psychiatry Religious Studies Sociology Theology Women Studies
• Computer Science & Programming: Android AWS Azure Blockchain Cryptocurrency Smart Contracts C C# C++ Cloud Computer Organization and Assembly Languages CSS Data Science Data Structures and Algorithms Deep Learning Design Patterns Game Design and Development iOS Java Javascript Machine Learning MATLAB MySQL Networking NoSQL Object Oriented Programming Operating Systems PHP Principles of Computer Science Programming for Virtual Reality Programming Languages Python R Robotics Ruby Software Engineering SQL Swift Web Development

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• Acellus ALEKS Aplia APEX Learning Badgr Blackboard Blink Learning Brightspace / D2L Canvas Cengage CengageNow Childsmath Cisco ConnectMath Connexus CPM Crowdmark EViews Edmentum Examity Excel Garch Google Classroom Google Education Gradescope Hawkes Learning Honorlock iClicker InQuizitive (Norton) Java Kaltura Khan Academy Knewton Kryterion LaunchPad MATLAB Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL Mathematica McGraw-Hill Connect MegaStat Microsoft Teams Microsoft Access, Word, Excel, PowerPoint Mindtap Minitab MonitorEDU Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyFinanceLab MyITLab MyMathLab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab NCSS Outlier Pearson MyLab and Mastering Piazza PlatoWeb Prezi Proctor360 Proctorio Proctortrack Python R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam SAM Sapling SAS SPSS Socrative Stata StraighterLine Turnitin VoiceThread WebAssign WebEx WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Zoom

TOP 20 REASONS WHY I'M THE MOST LEGIT EXAM, HW, ONLINE CLASS TUTOR ON REDDIT:

1. U.S. Citizenship Status: I have native-born U.S. citizenship status, an 100% authentic & natural U.S. American accent, and a verified New Jersey, USA residence. I can speak on the phone professionally in both perfect native U.S. English and fluent Canadian English.
2. U.S. 212 Phone Number: I have a verified U.S. American business phone number with the prestigious 212 area code (212-380-1856 - Ext 3) that can both send & receive phone calls, texts, voicemails, photos, and website links.
3. Social Media Verified: I have an active & verified online social media presence with my name and contact info regularly showing up on all major search engines including: Google, Yahoo, and Bing.
4. Professional Website: I have a professional, well-designed, well-written, 100% secure SEO-optimized WordPress business themed website: hiraedu.com
5. Team of U.S. Academic Experts: I and my team of dedicated academic experts complete all types of academic coursework for students in most math, English, science, business, humanities, social Sciences, computer programming, and foreign language classes on a 24/7/365 full-time round-the-clock basis. This is not some part-time gig for me. It’s literally my primary source of income. I can regularly make myself available to help students with last-minute & same-day academic requests.
6. Essay Writing Skills: I can write essays & research papers in native U.S. American English and fluent Canadian English using APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE formatting & citations.
7. 75+ Types of Academic Software: I am highly skilled & experienced in using over 75+ types of academic software and educational platforms including the following: ALEKS, Blackboard, Brightspace, Canvas, Cengage, WebAssign, ConnectMath, Crowdmark, D2L, Moodle, Pearson MyLab and Mastering, MyMathLab, MyStatLab, MyOpenMath, StraighterLine, WebWork, and Wiley.
8. Can Change IP Address: I have multiple reliable VPN software including: NordVPN, SurfShark & ExpressVPN that allows me to successfully change my computer’s original New Jersey IP address to any major city in the U.S. & Canada to avoid raising red flags with students’ online class software.
9. Proctored Exam Help: I have developed multiple highly effective methods of helping students with exams, tests, and quizzes that are proctored by software like: Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam, Honorlock, Examity, Proctorio, Proctor360, Proctortrack, and ProProctor using 3 highly effective proven methods. Option 1 - WhatsApp: I use WhatsApp to have the student discreetly text me photos of the exam questions outside of the webcam’s view and I text them the correct solutions to the exam questions. Option 2 - Screen Share: Using screen share software like Zoom to see the student’s screen displaying the exam questions and I text the correct solutions. Option 3 - Remote PC Access & Control: Using remote computer access software like to control the student’s mouse and keyboard from my own computer.
10. Study Help Apps: I have over 15+ paid subscriptions to a wide range of study help apps, software, websites, and programs to help me solve exam & homework questions faster and more efficiently. Some of these resources include: Brainly, Chegg, CourseHero, Quizlet, SymboLab & WolframAlpha.
11. Calculators & Math Software: I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
12. Test Taking Techniques: I have developed highly effective methods to determine the correct answers to questions that I’m not already familiar with including process of elimination, working backwards, quickly searching for similar questions online, and utilizing standardized test taking techniques taught only in elite standardized test prep tutoring programs.
13. Handwriting & Scanning Apps: I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, and PDF formats
14. Flexible Payment Methods: I offer negotiable rates, multiple payment methods (PayPal, Venmo, Cash App, Zelle, anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice), and flexible payment plans: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all-up-front (least expensive).
15. Money Back Guarantee: I have won multiple academic awards for my exceptional skills & expertise in math. I guarantee overall A & B grades for all coursework completed. Plus. I also offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- scores, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F scores.

HOW I CALCULATE FINAL RATES:

• Exams & Quizzes: Final rates for exams and quizzes depend on various factors including: whether or not there is proctoring, how many hours the exam is, total number of questions including sub-parts, preferred method of me delivering solutions, whether it's show all work or just the answer only, and whether the assessment has a flexible window of time to complete or a fixed & rigid start and end time.
• Full Courses: Final rates for full class help depend all the foregoing plus: total number of hw, quizzes, exams, discussion posts, and other academic tasks left that need to be completed, total number of weeks or modules left in the class to complete, and whether there is required multi factor authentication for logging in like Duo Push or text passcode.
• Essays Papers Discussion Posts: Final rates for writing tasks depend on the required number of words or pages. topic of interest, type of citations, required number and type of sources & bibliography style , level of research required, and type of additional software required to complete the essay like: Excel, R, or Minitab.

ABOUT MY RATES & PAYMENT OPTIONS:

• Rationale for My Rates: I sincerely believe my rates are more than fair considering my education, skills, native born U.S. resident status, legitimacy, and the substantial amount of value, stress relief, and saved time & energy I’d be providing you in exchange for my valuable, irretrievable time, energy, and effort.
• Disclaimer About Rates: Completing someone else's exam, essay, or homework assignment is obviously NOT something you can just freely ask anyone to do, especially on the internet. Therefore, such help should be well-compensated. Services that are reliable and deliver high-quality results are difficult to find and are very high in demand. Thus, I expect to be compensated fairly for all the value, stress relief, and saved time & energy my services provide. However, I may be willing to negotiate rates if necessary.
• Payment Methods: I accept PayPal (required for all Canadian students), Venmo, Zelle, Cash App, and anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice.
• Payment Plans: I offer the following payment plans for my services: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all upfront (least expensive).
• Money Back Guarantee: I guarantee the following grades for coursework completed: A+. A, A-, B+, B. and B-. However, I offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- grades, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F grades.

CURRENT RATES -- AS OF SUMMER / FALL 2022 -- SUBJECT TO CHANGE:

• Full Class Help Rates: $595 – $2495 USD
• Exam & Test Help Rates: $150 – $350 USD
• Quiz Help Rates: $60 – $180 USD
• HW Assignment Help Rates: $60 – $420 USD
• Essay & Paper Writing Help Rates: $19 – $29 USD per 300 words

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• Engage in a Telephone interview: Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, and accent. I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• Provide Telephone References: Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• Not Worth the Money: I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• Most Students are Broke: I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes.
• Waste of Time & Energy: Communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine.
• All My Payment Apps are Still Active: If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now.

CONCLUSION:

• My Mission: Thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit post. I take what I do very seriously and I always strive to get the highest possible grades for all students who entrust me with their coursework.
• Closing Words: Please feel free to reach out to me if you're sincerely interested in having help you with your school work. I am available via text, email, and call almost 24/7/365.

Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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Assignment Help with HiraEdu:

• Expert assistance
• Customizable study plans
• 24/7 support
• Score improvement
• Time and cost efficiency
• Convenience and flexibility

Online Exam Help with HiraEdu

• Quizzes
• Classes
• Test
• Exams
• 500+ qualified professionals
• 24/7 availability
• Discreet and secure service

HiraEdu provide online exam help with expert assistance, affordable & cheap rates and 24/7 support. HiraEdu emphasizes score improvement, time and cost efficiency, and convenience and highlights its team of 500+ qualified professionals and discreet and secure service.
Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
ACADEMIC TASKS MY TEAM AND I CAN COMPLETE:

• Entire Degree Programs
• Full Online Classes (1 - 20+ Weeks Long)
• Proctored Exams Quizzes Tests
• Homework Assignments
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Projects & Labs
• Discussion Posts
• Annotated Bibliographies
• Employment Assessments
• Certification Programs

MY TEAM'S CLASSES OF EXPERTISE:

• Statistics: AP Statistics Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Intro to Statistics Psychology Statistics Social Science Statistics Statistics & Probability Statistical Methods Statistical & Probability Models
• Math: Advanced Functions Algebra Calculus 1, 2, 3 (and 4 in some schools) Vector Calculus Differential Calculus Integral Calculus Multivariable Calculus Differential Equations Discrete Math Discrete Structures Finite Mathematics Functions Geometry Linear Algebra Precalculus Probability Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry Quantitative Methods & Reasoning
• Science: Anatomy & Physiology Astronomy Biochemistry Biology Chemistry (General, Inorganic & Organic) Dental / Pre-Dental Earth Science Engineering (Almost All Types) Environmental Science Epidemiology Fluid & Mechanics Geology Geophysics Medicine / Pre-Med Microbiology Neuroscience Physics Physical Science
• Business: Accounting Auditing Banking Business Administration Business Law Corporate Finance Cost Accounting Econometrics Economics Finance Financial Institutions Financial Reporting Global Economics Governance International Economics Macroeconomics Management Marketing MBA Courses Mergers and Acquisitions Microeconomics Operations Management Principles of Accounting Real Estate Taxation
• English: Business Writing Creative Writing Critical Reading Digital Media Eastern Literature English Literature Essays Expository & Persuasive Writing Fiction Writing Greek and Roman Philosophy Grammar Poetry
• Humanities & Social Sciences: Architecture Anthropology Art History Communication Criminal Justice Forestry Ethnic Studies Film History Law Pre-Law Music Philosophy Political Science Psychology Psychiatry Religious Studies Sociology Theology Women Studies
• Computer Science & Programming: Android AWS Azure Blockchain Cryptocurrency Smart Contracts C C# C++ Cloud Computer Organization and Assembly Languages CSS Data Science Data Structures and Algorithms Deep Learning Design Patterns Game Design and Development iOS Java Javascript Machine Learning MATLAB MySQL Networking NoSQL Object Oriented Programming Operating Systems PHP Principles of Computer Science Programming for Virtual Reality Programming Languages Python R Robotics Ruby Software Engineering SQL Swift Web Development

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• Acellus ALEKS Aplia APEX Learning Badgr Blackboard Blink Learning Brightspace / D2L Canvas Cengage CengageNow Childsmath Cisco ConnectMath Connexus CPM Crowdmark EViews Edmentum Examity Excel Garch Google Classroom Google Education Gradescope Hawkes Learning Honorlock iClicker InQuizitive (Norton) Java Kaltura Khan Academy Knewton Kryterion LaunchPad MATLAB Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL Mathematica McGraw-Hill Connect MegaStat Microsoft Teams Microsoft Access, Word, Excel, PowerPoint Mindtap Minitab MonitorEDU Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyFinanceLab MyITLab MyMathLab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab NCSS Outlier Pearson MyLab and Mastering Piazza PlatoWeb Prezi Proctor360 Proctorio Proctortrack Python R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam SAM Sapling SAS SPSS Socrative Stata StraighterLine Turnitin VoiceThread WebAssign WebEx WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Zoom

TOP 20 REASONS WHY I'M THE MOST LEGIT EXAM, HW, ONLINE CLASS TUTOR ON REDDIT:

1. U.S. Citizenship Status: I have native-born U.S. citizenship status, an 100% authentic & natural U.S. American accent, and a verified New Jersey, USA residence. I can speak on the phone professionally in both perfect native U.S. English and fluent Canadian English.
2. U.S. 212 Phone Number: I have a verified U.S. American business phone number with the prestigious 212 area code (212-380-1856 - Ext 3) that can both send & receive phone calls, texts, voicemails, photos, and website links.
3. Social Media Verified: I have an active & verified online social media presence with my name and contact info regularly showing up on all major search engines including: Google, Yahoo, and Bing.
4. Professional Website: I have a professional, well-designed, well-written, 100% secure SEO-optimized WordPress business themed website: Hiraedu.com
5. Team of U.S. Academic Experts: I and my team of dedicated academic experts complete all types of academic coursework for students in most math, English, science, business, humanities, social Sciences, computer programming, and foreign language classes on a 24/7/365 full-time round-the-clock basis. This is not some part-time gig for me. It’s literally my primary source of income. I can regularly make myself available to help students with last-minute & same-day academic requests.
6. Essay Writing Skills: I can write essays & research papers in native U.S. American English and fluent Canadian English using APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE formatting & citations.
7. 75+ Types of Academic Software: I am highly skilled & experienced in using over 75+ types of academic software and educational platforms including the following: ALEKS, Blackboard, Brightspace, Canvas, Cengage, WebAssign, ConnectMath, Crowdmark, D2L, Moodle, Pearson MyLab and Mastering, MyMathLab, MyStatLab, MyOpenMath, StraighterLine, WebWork, and Wiley.
8. Can Change IP Address: I have multiple reliable VPN software including: NordVPN, SurfShark & ExpressVPN that allows me to successfully change my computer’s original New Jersey IP address to any major city in the U.S. & Canada to avoid raising red flags with students’ online class software.
9. Proctored Exam Help: I have developed multiple highly effective methods of helping students with exams, tests, and quizzes that are proctored by software like: Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam, Honorlock, Examity, Proctorio, Proctor360, Proctortrack, and ProProctor using 3 highly effective proven methods. Option 1 - WhatsApp: I use WhatsApp to have the student discreetly text me photos of the exam questions outside of the webcam’s view and I text them the correct solutions to the exam questions. Option 2 - Screen Share: Using screen share software like Zoom to see the student’s screen displaying the exam questions and I text the correct solutions. Option 3 - Remote PC Access & Control: Using remote computer access software like to control the student’s mouse and keyboard from my own computer.
10. Study Help Apps: I have over 15+ paid subscriptions to a wide range of study help apps, software, websites, and programs to help me solve exam & homework questions faster and more efficiently. Some of these resources include: Brainly, Chegg, CourseHero, Quizlet, SymboLab & WolframAlpha.
11. Calculators & Math Software: I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
12. Test Taking Techniques: I have developed highly effective methods to determine the correct answers to questions that I’m not already familiar with including process of elimination, working backwards, quickly searching for similar questions online, and utilizing standardized test taking techniques taught only in elite standardized test prep tutoring programs.
13. Handwriting & Scanning Apps: I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, and PDF formats.
14. Flexible Payment Methods: I offer negotiable rates, multiple payment methods (PayPal, Venmo, Cash App, Zelle, anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice), and flexible payment plans: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all-up-front (least expensive).
15. Money Back Guarantee: I have won multiple academic awards for my exceptional skills & expertise in math. I guarantee overall A & B grades for all coursework completed. Plus. I also offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- scores, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F scores.

HOW I CALCULATE FINAL RATES:

• Exams & Quizzes: Final rates for exams and quizzes depend on various factors including: whether or not there is proctoring, how many hours the exam is, total number of questions including sub-parts, preferred method of me delivering solutions, whether it's show all work or just the answer only, and whether the assessment has a flexible window of time to complete or a fixed & rigid start and end time.
• Full Courses: Final rates for full class help depend all the foregoing plus: total number of hw, quizzes, exams, discussion posts, and other academic tasks left that need to be completed, total number of weeks or modules left in the class to complete, and whether there is required multi factor authentication for logging in like Duo Push or text passcode.
• Essays Papers Discussion Posts: Final rates for writing tasks depend on the required number of words or pages. topic of interest, type of citations, required number and type of sources & bibliography style , level of research required, and type of additional software required to complete the essay like: Excel, R, or Minitab.

ABOUT MY RATES & PAYMENT OPTIONS:

• Rationale for My Rates: I sincerely believe my rates are more than fair considering my education, skills, native born U.S. resident status, legitimacy, and the substantial amount of value, stress relief, and saved time & energy I’d be providing you in exchange for my valuable, irretrievable time, energy, and effort.
• Disclaimer About Rates: Completing someone else's exam, essay, or homework assignment is obviously NOT something you can just freely ask anyone to do, especially on the internet. Therefore, such help should be well-compensated. Services that are reliable and deliver high-quality results are difficult to find and are very high in demand. Thus, I expect to be compensated fairly for all the value, stress relief, and saved time & energy my services provide. However, I may be willing to negotiate rates if necessary.
• Payment Methods: I accept PayPal (required for all Canadian students), Venmo, Zelle, Cash App, and anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice.
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CURRENT RATES -- AS OF SUMMER / FALL 2022 -- SUBJECT TO CHANGE:

• Full Class Help Rates: $595 – $2495 USD
• Exam & Test Help Rates: $150 – $350 USD
• Quiz Help Rates: $60 – $180 USD
• HW Assignment Help Rates: $60 – $420 USD
• Essay & Paper Writing Help Rates: $19 – $29 USD per 300 words

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• Engage in a Telephone interview: Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, and accent. I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• Provide Telephone References: Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• Not Worth the Money: I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• Most Students are Broke: I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes.
• Waste of Time & Energy: Communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine.
• All My Payment Apps are Still Active: If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now.

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• My Mission: Thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit post. I take what I do very seriously and I always strive to get the highest possible grades for all students who entrust me with their coursework.
• Closing Words: Please feel free to reach out to me if you're sincerely interested in having help you with your school work. I am available via text, email, and call almost 24/7/365.

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Has anyone else listened to the latest UTD? I enjoyed the ep bar one moment where Suruthi compared her to the outed real life Martha from Baby Reindeer.
I’ll preface by saying there’s nothing wrong with how this woman looks - only by societal standards which are obviously fucked when it comes to women’s bodies.
So when Suruthi compared Katy Wix to this woman, it left a sour taste in my mouth.
Katy Wix (on the Off Menu podcast I think) mentioned body image issues - I’ve got these myself as I am a woman who grew up in the noughties… and that comparison would mess me up. Which is my own issue, partly due to the aforementioned horrible way we view and scrutinise bigger bodies.
Katy Wix will probably never listen to this episode and hear that comparison - so am I overreacting?!
IRL when people make comments about bodies or make comparisons, I gently tell them maybe not to as they don’t know who might have weird body image issues and that kind of comment could cause them to spiral.
Anyway sorry for the essay - would love to know other peoples takes!
(Edit for grammar)

It's been a while since my season 3 post cuz I've been busy with studying and work but I'll just cut to the chase.
4.01 "The Beginning of the End" - she was so thrown off by the Hugo chase scene and immediately was trying to guess the rest of the Oceanic 6. She was heartbroken when he told Claire about Charlie and so shocked when ghost Charlie showed up. She also loved Ben's line, "Jack, with your permission, I'd like to go with John, ha ha, she still hates him but likes the snark
4.03 "The Economist" - she was happy Sayid made it off the Island, and she really dug the flow he was rocking, but felt so sad for him because he's such a romantic and had to kill Elsa. And she was so pissed when they showed he was working for Ben at the end
4.04 "Eggtown" - at this point, she's just tired of Kate going back and forth between Jack and Sawyer and completely agreed with what Sawyer said.
4.05 "The Constant" - she just had no idea what to make of what was happening to Desmond, it was really funny, but she was so happy and relieved when the phone call finally went through.
4.06 "The Other Woman" - by now, she was fully pro Juliet so that was nice, but she hated Ben even more after seeing how terrible he was to her.
4.07 "Ji Yeon" - she was absolutely ecstatic that Sun got off the Island and she was equally excited when they showed Jin off the Island as well and subsequently devastated when they revealed it was a flashback and Sun and Hugo went to his grave. She loved the on island stuff too with Jin wanting to pick baby names too. When they showed Michael at the end, she said "Damn, that guy kinda looks like Michael." I damn near pissed myself
4.08 "Meet Kevin Johnson" - she felt bad for the way Michael and Walt turned out after they left the Island, and she thought Ben was absolutely diabolical for saying he was Walt to get Michael on the phone. She was so mad when Danielle got shot as well.
4.09 "The Shape of Things to Come" - she loved the scene of Sawyer, Hugo, and Locke playing Risk and when Sawyer was so protective of Hugo at the end. She finally started to not completely hate Ben and actually felt a little bad for him when Alex got killed, and she got so worried when he said he was gonna kill Penny.
4.11 "Cabin Fever" - she continued to hate how depressing Locke's story is, and she really just wanted to know what's up with Richard looking the same 50 years ago. She thought the scenes of the trio bickering about not knowing where they're going and with Hugo and Ben sharing the candy bar were hilarious, and ghost Christian showing up was like the biggest curveball ever for her.
4.12-4.14 "There's No Place Like Home" - when they revealed the C4 on the boat, she let out the biggest gasp ha ha and was just as worried when Ben said "So" after stabbing Keamy. She was utterly devastated when the boat blew up and Jin "died." She liked seeing Sun girlboss in the flashforwards and seeing Walt again and laughed about how big he is now. She thought the moment of Ben saying goodbye to John was so oddly heartwarming and he jaw just about hit the floor when they showed Locke in the coffin. She was not happy about it lmao

Our store has scan outs split among the sfls, IS, and the SM. I have the electronic wall, food and candy aisles. When I started these departments about a year ago now, I knew the electronic wall was a mess because the previous IS didn't care. I tried when I was able to, to make sure the counts were right and I know people steal them. Weeks later what I saved for the counts are not adjusted. It goes back to the inventory date last year. I gave up on it because I'm trying.
Forward to this week and I'm scanning the granola bars and they been zero on our clearanced ones for months. I scanned them this week and they have 1s or 2s. I look at the last information and the last time we've received them was last year. WTH!!??!! I said something to the IS and SM about it but we don't understand. Except the IS and myself think it's Walgreens messing up with our numbers. We can't have a good score.
Anyone else see this happening? Also yes we do have the time to see what is going on with the numbers, we are kind of a slower store.

I feel ridiculous, but looking for advice from anyone that has dealt with stepkids and husbands that consistently trash vehicles. Husband has 50/50 custody of 3 SKs with parenting time twice a week. I have addressed all the trash previously with my husband, but not seeing any improvement and started to avoid riding in his vehicle if possible which is not always an option.
I find half eaten candy bars, partial drinks, fast food bags eith food and other recent purchases and obvious trash left wherever the kids can find a spot. Tube of candy crap goo with the lid open leaking on the floor. Recently my husband bought SD a full package of a baked good and didn't even bother to close the lid after eating one piece. I could go on and on.
I know all the excessive purchases for the SKs and waste presses on my values and bigger picture with the SKs, but looking for any advice on how to approach further with my husband and other strategies. We're also talking about buying a nicer, bigger vehicle and which I want, but can't support if the vehicle will be treated this way.

What started as a panicked attempt to get her over-intoxicated friend to a hospital ended up in a disastrous car crash that claimed the lives of her friends... and a careless God crossing the street. But Sammi's adventure wasn't about to end there. In her dying breath, the God curses Sammi to take up her mantel. Now with her three friends resurrected as ghosts, Sammi has to navigate the tricky world of godhood.
Previous Chapter Next chapter coming soon!
Start here! Patreon (up to chapter 9)
I love houses. House flipping, house hunting, crazy properties in town, gorgeous exotic vacation destinations. I think in a past life I was a real estate agent. Or a carpenter. Interior designer, actually, probably. Maybe just rich?
Doesn’t matter. I love houses, and I was gonna get myself the best digs in town.
“Best digs in town might be a liiiiittle suspicious?” Joni said as I began adjusting the filters of my favorite search: Lottery houses.
“So do you… we’re looking for a house?” Cara was leaning over my shoulder, watching as I pushed the Rooms, Cost, Square Footage, and Bathrooms options as high as I could. “Cause if you don’t even own a place, I feel like saying you’d answer my questions when we got to New Olympia is kinda a blow off.”
“Not a blow off,” I said. “This probably won’t take too too long. I just don’t want to kick anyone out of their house that, like, is a regular person living their life.”
“Kick them out?”
I paused and looked up at Cara, eyes serious. “Please. The parroting. It’s making me nervous.” Then I looked back down and began sifting through various mansions, penthouses, lake houses, villas. “For sale or for rent?”
“For rent,” Blair said immediately. She propped her head up on her chin as she watched me scroll. “Then you don’t gotta kick anyone out.”
“She’s got a point,” Christopher said. “Both from a, like, humanitarian point of view but also from a logistical point of view. Whoever’s moving needs the money pronto to buy a new house and they’re gonna constantly be dealing with banks and shit. You’d need a new lie a day just to keep them off you. But with rentals and all, first off, landlords renting out ten grand a month properties are already making bank off other units. Yeah you’re screwing them over, but not as bad. They got a buncha others. Second, you pay monthly, so you really only gotta fend them off once a month.”
My thumb jammed the “For Rent/For Sale” switch, and I cranked up the rental price. “What else are we thinking for criteria?”
“Middle of town’s a bad idea,” Joni said. “Too easy to find us.”
“We don’t have to, like, hide though,” Christopher said. “Just say you’re both out on bail. I mean, the point is to find Miller and bring him to justice, right? That’s gonna take time. There’s no place far enough out of town that we could hide in for long.”
I squinted at him, tearing my eyes away from a sexy seven bedroom manor with two pools. “What?”
He sighed, as if convinced that I was in the wrong for not understanding what fuck he just said. “Like, think about it Sammi. We’re not actually gonna be able to hide. Or if we are, it’s gonna be in an alley or some shit.” He wrinkled his nose at the same time I did. “They’re cops with detectives and shit, and they think we shot someone and broke someone else out of jail. They’re gonna find us. We’ll have to lie, not hide, to avoid being put back. So may as well be local to all the action.” With this, he pointed directly at a lofty unit in the center of town.
Hmm. He brought up a valid point, so I checked it out.
A five bedroom penthouse with three terraces giving outdoor views of the entire city. Bathrooms that put the hotel to shame. Closets the size of my old bedroom. A pool deck. Appliances with fancy brand names I only ever heard on episodes of “Dream House” and hadn’t actually realized existed in the real world. Enough bedrooms for me, Cara, and the ghosts to each sleep separately.
For a moment, the enormity of it washed over me. Not just the enormity of the house, though it was enormous, but the reality of what I could accomplish. This apartment was twenty five thousand dollars a month. I’m not entirely sure I’ve made that much money in my life. Or, okay, probably around that, but that’s my point. This was the kind of unit rich people showed off in out-of-touch blogs or escapist shows about the lifestyles of famous people. And it could literally be mine if I could play my cards right. Or not even right. Just not catastrophically wrong.
Cause I was a God. And for the first time since becoming a God, I was using my abilities, my status, my familiars and shit to do something cool. Not rob a TechShack of some earpods or break in or out of a hospital.
This was a big yield.
As I had my little epiphany, Cara had taken over scrolling my phone, much to the relief of my ghosts, who’d started grumbling about the static screen while I zoned out.
“Okay.” Cara looked at me. “I’m not gonna ask any of the questions you know I want to ask, cause that’ll just piss you off.” Thank God she was learning. “So we’ll skip that for now and ask the really important question. How are you gonna get your hands on this place?”
–
Step 1 was to get to the place, which kinda sucked, given we were still at Pizza Dogs. It just wasn’t a very cool start to the coolest scheme I’d ever pulled off. Luckily Pizza Dogs closed at 9, so a solid number of people were leaving the restaurant. I was able to wave down a waitress who’d just checked off of her shift and convince her she was a taxi driver.
“You’re really loving this whole taxiing thing, huh?” Christopher said.
“At least she’s not talking like a robot trying to use slang.” I grit my teeth at the memory of Cops Cop and Taxi Service.
“No, you just told her she was mute.” Blair stuck her lip out. “That’s mean, Sammi.”
“I told her she couldn’t talk. That’s different.” I gave Cara a weak smile, but she hadn’t even commented on my ghost talking. She just buried her face in her hands. See? Learning.
Step 2 was gonna be actually getting in the unit. The listing on HouzeHunting didn’t exactly have the name of the landlord on it, so I was gonna have to get creative getting in touch with them. What it did have was ‘24 hour doorman service,’ which meant getting in would be easy peasy.
Finally we pulled up to the address I’d given our driver. 1732 East Windham Street. She leaned out the window, looking up the seventy story building.
“It’s totally appropriate for you to talk now,” I said as I scrambled out, towing Cara with me. No sense in actually making her mute for life.
The woman nodded. “You, uh, live here or visiting? If you don’t mind me asking.”
I flipped my wad of black hair over my shoulder, wincing at how singularly it moved. I shoulda combed it after my bath yesterday.
“Live here, obviously.” I gave a rich person kinda snort, nose in the air and all.
“Huh.” She looked back at me, rubbing the back of her neck as if it was sore from craning up so high. “But you needed a taxi to get here?”
“Uh.” Rich people used taxis, right? On the ladder from Sammi to Bill Gates, someone had to use them, and if I couldn’t afford a taxi normally, then the typical passenger must exist somewhere above me. “My fancy personal car got towed cause I was parking it in a fire lane.”
The woman didn’t look convinced. Not that she thought I was lying, but she still looked at me like I was dumb as dirt. “You don’t have, like, a personal driver?”
I cocked my head at her, trying to mirror Joni’s sassy tilt but probably just looking confused. “Are you offering?”
Her lips parted, and I could see her brain chewing on this question. “What do you… wait, are you being serious?”
Was I? Suddenly I wasn’t sure. Having a personal chauffeur could be kinda great. Someone always available to text or call when I needed a ride so I wouldn’t have to keep remembering where I left my car. Besides, driving made me nervous. I’d never been a particularly bad driver, no prior accidents, never really hit anything in the past, unless we’re counting bumper cars. Which we’re not, cause I’m a menace in bumper cars. But that’s like the point.
Or, no, the point was, I wanted to minimize driving, and this woman could be key. Of course, I knew nothing about her. What if she had a family at home and I told a too strong lie and she never saw them again?
But then, she wouldn’t be offering if she wasn’t serious, right? Sure I’d lied and told her she was a taxi driver, but the average every day taxi driver didn’t just ditch their families to be rich people’s chauffeur’s.
“Uh. Yeah.” I looked at the ghosts. Two thumbs up from Christopher, one from Blair, and two thumbs down from Joni. That was a total of one thumbs up, if my math was right. “Yeah, I pay ten thousand a month.” We could figure that out later.
The woman’s eyes shot open. “Okay, you’re actually fucking with me. You’re actually offering to hire me for ten thousand a month.”
I nodded. “Yeah. And you can… I mean, if you got your own place, you can stay there obviously but you could also stay in one of my bedrooms. I got some extra ones I was gonna give to the gho–uh, dogs. But I don’t have dogs, so you were next on the list. Well, a chauffeur was next on the list. But also if you’ve got–do you have a family?”
Each of my statements plunked out of my mouth like gumballs out of a broken candy machine. But she just kept nodding like this was a normal proposal.
“I mean, I had a boyfriend.” Her face flushed crimson. “Kinda embarrassing to say at my age. Thought we were–” She took a deep breath. “Thought he was the one. I’m not gonna say I was looking to have kids or anything, so I suppose age doesn’t matter, but that doesn’t mean I really want to start over. Five years wasted is all, and at my age, the well starts to dry up a bit. People look at you a bit…” She blinked. “I’m sorry, that’s not really what you asked, was it.”
It wasn’t entirely, but I was kinda hooked on the story now. “Yeah it was,” I said. “It was the first question in the interview, and you’re nailing it. Uh, you actually already passed the first round. Let’s take the rest inside.”
The woman let out a shaky breath and smoothed her frizzled hair. “Right, of course. Thank you so much!”
Cara had, thank God, kept her mouth shut this whole interview process, so I just towed my newly formed posse towards the doorman.
“My key got lost,” I said confidently and too quickly, noticing way late that there weren’t any visible keyholes anywhere on the door. “Uh…” I looked nervously at the ghosts.
“Just tell him someone said he should let you in,” Joni said.
“Yeah.” Blair smiled. “Carl from management.”
“No–”
“Carl from management said you should let me in,” I said, bowling over Joni’s protests. “I own that top penthouse suite. Suite 72. The one for rent. Or, not for rent cause I’m renting it now. And I called earlier because my key is broken and Carl your manager said–”
I stopped finally because the doorman had long since stopped frowning perplexedly at me and had just tapped his card against the door.
“Haha,” I said, verbalizing the laugh a little too hard. “Look at me, talking too much as always.”
He frowned again, but nodded nonetheless, before holding the door open for me. “Here you are.”
“Thank you so much,” I said, stepping in like a real fancy lady. “I’ve got it from here.”
And, because I was stupid and always spoke without thinking, he nodded and shut the door behind me.
So technically Step 2 ‘get in’ was done, but it was like, barely done. Like when your mom says ‘go to your room’ so you sit in the doorway. Cause I wasn’t really close to my new apartment yet, which meant a new step on the list. Step 3? Get into New Olympia.
Somehow a little sneaky ‘Step 3b, interview your new chauffeur’ had snuck on the list too, but that would be easy to finish once I got to the actual unit.
It was literally impossible to keep my jaw in its socket as we walked through the lobby. I was actually straight up speechless at how fancy it all was. There was a bar in the lobby, like this was some hotel! Given my experience with rich people things, it was either totally free or thirty bucks a glass. Still, it was pricey enough that I should probably have been charged just for looking at it. Even Cara and the driver had their mouths gaping open as they looked around, taking in the mirror shiny marbely floors and columns.
I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, and really tried to capture this moment of peace and quiet inside the lobby of my new home.
“Blair stop humming, they’ll be able to hear you.”
“I’m using my regular humming, not my banshee humming.”
“My bad, shoulda clarified. I’m able to hear you, and you’re annoying me.”
“Joni, why are you always so mean.”
“She’s, like, kinda got a point. You need to get that stick out of your ass.”
“I’ll get the stick out of my ass when Blair stops humming.”
“Bro, it’s totally more than the humming, and you know it.”
“Is singing okay?”
“No.”
“What about–”
“Why don’t you just whistle, Blair?”
“That’s not nice. You know I can’t whistle.”
“Kinda my point.”
“Hey, be nice to Blair, Joni.”
Peace and quiet were overrated anyway. We were here for schemes.
My eyelids snapped open. In front of me was a big old reddish wood desk. The sign on it said “Main desk, open 7AM to 9 PM.” Next to it was another, more temporary sign, “Partial Service After Hours. Ring Bell For Assisance.”
My eyes drifted hungrily to the shiny golden bell. It was the kind you see in movies and shows, you press down a few times to summon the waiter or whoever sits behind the desk.
“Just once, Sammi,” Joni said, already reading my mind. “You ring it once.”
“But Joni,” I whispered, hand hovering over it, “I’m a God.”
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
Seven was overkill. The man was there after the first two rings. But I couldn’t stop. It was too satisfying.
He regarded me with pained eyes. “Ma’am, you didn’t have to ring it that many times.”
“I didn’t,” I said confidently. And just like that, the pained look vanished. He didn’t look comfortable though, probably because I didn’t look like I should be there. Time to fix that.
I jutted my chin out. “Is there, like, a master key to all the elevators and units you can give me.”
The guy blinked rapidly. “I’m… sorry, you want what?”
“Lies, Sammi. That was a request!”
This is why we needed Joni and the stick up her ass.
“Uh.”
“Tell him that… I don’t know, someone from management said you could borrow a skeleton key.”
I smiled. “Carl from management told me I could have a skeleton key. A, you know, a key that opens all the doors.” I gave Joni a panicked glance.
She motioned her finger in a repeating loop and mouthed ‘go on.’
“And.” I swallowed. “You said you would give us one.”
The concierge sighed. “I know. I know. I just.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Carl doesn’t manage my department, so if this isn’t the right call, Sandy’s gonna have my head.”
I eyed the ghosts nervously. The lie had worked but it didn’t seem to fully convince him. “Sandy said…”
“Keep it simple,” Joni hissed.
“...that you would give me a key to let me in?”
“Right, please hold a moment, it’s almost done transferring.” The concierge paused and looked at a key card on his desk. He squinted before picking it up and beeping it against a little card pad. It flashed red. “I’m sorry,” he said. “The transfer didn’t go through right. One moment please.” Then he typed on his computer for a few very long minutes while Cara, the driver, and I all stood frozen by the elevator. After several breath-holding moments of silence (yeah, now the ghosts decide to shut up) he tapped the card again and it flashed green. “There we go.”
I let out a long breath before scuttling over to pick up my card. “Thank you!” I said, a cheery forced grin on my face. “Thank you so much! Remember, this came from, uh, Sandy’s boss, and she told you not to tell Sandy, so keep it zipped!”
He mimed zipping his lips as I waved again before rushing to the elevator.
Soon we were zooming up dozens and dozens of levels as my breathing came more and more naturally. Even the elevator was fancy. All golden mirrors, which Blair was staring at, disappointed that she couldn’t see her reflection in them.
There was no one on the seventy second story and ther was only one door, at the end of a gleaming hardwood hallway. My black boots clomped awkwardly as I escorted the driver–still in a bright orange shirt with a barking dog and a slice of pizza on it–and Cara–still in an orange jumpsuit–towards the door at the end.
Once I got there, I tapped my card, and we were in.
I don’t really have good words to describe the place. Huge, for one. Empty for another. Those were the two big ones. I could have gawked at it all, but I was a little tired of gawking, so I filed away ‘tour my house and get it fitted out’ for later. Besides, I had all my gear and shit still in my car… somewhere. I’d get it up here eventually and then the real decorating could start.
But there was a first step. Well two first steps. Okay, technically only one could be the first step, so we’ll do that first.
I waved Cara to join me in one of the bedrooms.
“I’ll finish your interview in like, fifteen minutes,” I said to the driver. She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, closing the door behind me and plopping down on the ground.
Cara stood awkwardly, eyeing the big ass empty room with a big ass empty bathroom off to the side. “Okay,” she said, still standing. “Do I need to–”
“No no, I said I would…” I trailed off, lips pursed and confused. “You wanted… Or… I was gonna tell you–”
“Oh shit yeah.” Now suddenly Cara was on the floor across from me, leaning in. “You’re telling me what the fuck is going on.”
My breath rushed out in a long woosh as I contemplated how to start this. Joni had made a snarky comment at one point like ‘pushing this off won’t make it easier’ and I’d responded with a ‘I’ll come up with a plan while I delay’ which of course I hadn’t, and now I was angry cause Joni was right.
“So the problem is,” I said, starting slowly. “Everything I tell you, you’ll believe.”
“Obviously,” Cara said, believing me instantly.
“But no one else but me knows what’s going on. So I can’t help but…” I trailed off again, noticing Cara nodding animatedly. This wasn’t working. I wanted her to believe me cause she fully understood and accepted my story, not cause of magic. But to get that, I couldn’t be the one to tell her, and the only other people who knew about my godliness were the ghosts and–
I smacked myself on the face. Sammi, you’re a genius. An actual, mensa accredited whiz kid.
“Blair,” I said, smiling. “I think I’ll offload this to you.”
Blair frowned, scrunching her nose up for a moment, before pointing at herself. “Me?”
I nodded confidently. Blair knew everything but lacked the Verity Tongue. This would be a sinch.
“Cara, how do you feel about a little ghost story?” I shivered a bit, getting goosebumps at my own words. Now that lead-in was brilliant. ‘A little ghost story’, who came up with that? I was getting smarter by the minute.
“Oooooooooooooh.” Blair zoomed around the room, and Cara leapt to her feet.
“What the fuck?”
“Bewaaaaare moooooortal,” Blair droned, pitching her voice low. “For the story you’re about to hear is both dreadful and awwwwwful. Fear for your soul for those who hear this story are cursed and will find themselves in an early–”
“Blair!” I shouted. “Stop that. What the fuck? Literally not like that. Like literally anything but that. You need to start with–”
“Yo, Sammi, dawg, chill.” Christopher patted my back. “We’ll help her out.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to taint the story with your god powers,” Joni said. “We’ll sort Blair. You interview the pizza waitress.”
Suddenly my genius felt like the opposite of genius. Yeah, delegation was important, but I did want to hear what the ghosts were telling Cara. Didn’t I need to know? What if they told her something totally wrong and stupid? Or what if they said something mean? Like what if they really played up the part about my reckless speeding? What if they lied about something? Made me look incompetent.
I opened my mouth to protest, but Christopher just gave me an icy pat again.
“Look, you’re gonna jump in to correct something we say, and it’s just gonna fuck up Cara.” He gave me a serious look, one of the most serious looks he’d given me since this whole ordeal. Which was honestly kinda stupid cause of all the times to pull out there ‘seriously, Sammi’ face, he was picking now? Was this really the right time for this? “Seriously, Sammi. We got this.”
I didn’t believe him at all, but they were absolutely right about me likely fucking this up with my motor mouth. No way was I sitting still while Joni made snarky comments about me, like, eating gross bagels or telling cops to steal poop.
“All right,” I said. “Come out when you’re done. Or if you need hands at all. Like if she passes out and you need to check for a pulse.”
“Are you talking to me?” Cara said.
“No. I’m talking to the ghosts.” And with that I closed the door.
Looks like Sammi's got a house! And maybe a minion or two on top of her familiars. Let's see how Cara takes all of this...

Please excuse any errors, I had 2 strokes last year and sometimes struggle with words and typing.
This story involves my youngest son. He is currently 8 but has always been head strong and outspoken. I call him the bully's bully at school because he sticks up for people who are being bullied by other kids. He is very protective of what is "his" (ex. friends, family, toys). He can hold a grudge like nobody's business.
This story happened when Jude was about 4 or 5. Jude was not your ordinary 5 year old. He had an amazingly advanced vocabulary and used it wisely. He gave (and still gives) absolutely no fucks for what people think. He is a very black and white type of person. He has no filter and at times has 100% no chill, especially if he thinks someone is in the wrong or has wronged him. You know when you make it to his shit list because he let's you know. He's blunt... and hilarious. Ok.. onto the story..
Jude wanted to spend some of his Christmas money on a few toys. He picked out a pink dinosaur, a blue dinosaur, a pink travel hair brush with mirror, a rainbow notebook with pink pencil, a pink ball and a pink plushy unicorn. Can you guess what his favorite color is? After he is finished, we head to the registers. We have to go self-check out because he's 5 and wants to do everything for himself. 🙄😂 We get the scanner closest to the line. While Jude is scanning away, an old, creepy looking, dried up shrivel of a man walks up behind us. (Seems like a mean description but stick with me). Jude is chitter chatting away (again, because he's 5) when this POS old man says, "You ain't gonna let him get them toys, are ya?" (We are from a city in central Ohio and yes, people really talk like that.)
Me: with a who-are-you atritude, "He wants them, he has enough money, so yes, if you need to know."
Old man: "Well, ain't ya afraid they'll turn him... you know... frou frou?" And does a bent wrist motion.
Now Jude has heard my tone, so he knows somethings up and has been listening. Jude whips around with an intense are-you-a-dumbass look on his face. He says, "Umm... a color doesn't make you gay..."
Now the old man turns to Jude: "Don't you want a boy toy? Like a truck or something that's not for girls or pink?"
Normally, I am a mild mannered person who takes a lot before I get super pissed, but mess with my kids... Welcome to your worst nightmare. But I was not needed, Jude had it covered this time.
By this point, Jude is pissed. No one attacks his favorite color and toys! Congratulations, Captain Crusty! You've made it to the shit list!
Jude: in a very stern, loud voice, "Pink is my favorite color and my mom said I can like whatever color I want! Leave my toys alone! You're very rude! My mom always tells me to think before I talk. Maybe you should try it."
Giving zero fucks as to who is hearing him talk to this man. Jude returns to scanning his toys.
The man looks at me as though I should correct Jude's outburst, I just look at Crusty with a matter-of-fact look, "I can only correct him if he's wrong. But I agree with his advise. And who are you to care if he is or isn't gay? Good thing you're not his parent, huh?"
The old turd walks to a different area of the store to get away from the 5 year old who just lit into him. Jude yells as he's waving, "Kay, byyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee! Try using your brain when you talk!" And I feel a sense of victory all while trying to contain my laughter. Does it make me an asshole for not saying something to Jude for talking that way to an elderly man? I don't think so but also don't care.
Jude proceeds to scan and purchase his toys. The store employee supervising the self-check out comes over to Jude and me. He asks me, "Can he have a little candy bar?" I nod. He looks at Jude, "I am so proud of the way you stuck up for yourself. You keep doing that and don't let people tell you who you are." He tells me he wished his mom had been accepting of his life (he was gay). Such a bittersweet moment, my heart felt full and broken at the same time because of his words. This was a very proud mom moment for me.
I have so many Jude stories. He keeps life interesting, for sure.
Note for Charlotte: I don't know if you'll see this but thank you for doing what you do. I had 2 cerebral strokes in March 2023 (I was 35). You have been a huge part of my recovery because you help me see the funny in things. I have needed lots of laughs to get through this and you have been a great part of them. So thank you and keep doing what you're doing! You rock! And Jude loves watching your videos with me. And it opens up conversations of the right way to act/react to people. I told him I was posting his story and he hopes you read it, even if you don't put it in a video.

First time taker here and was finishing up my 3L year. Just graduated May ‘24 and was an out of state test taker for Texas. Studied for 5 weeks and passed the Texas Bar and did about 200 hours on BarBri. For me, the issue with the Bar was learning and remembering the law and so I focused on the barbri lectures and MC.
MEE/MPT
I did not write out a single MEE as writing has never been an issue. I’m assuming most people in law school can write well and thus the issue with the essays are issue spotting and knowing the black letter law. This is why I focused on LEARNING the law through the lectures and MC questions instead of wasting hours writing essays. Something I found helpful was looking up the model questions and then reading the selected answers. This gave me an idea of how to structure my essays and see what the examiners liked.
For the MPT, all I did was watch BarMD free video on YouTube and then I read the library portion of a sample MPT to get a feel for issue spotting. One thing I found helpful during the exam was that I would read the cases first and immediately type out the Rules into the test document. I would then just copy and paste the rules when needed which saved me a ton of time as I didn’t have to re-read the case etc. Ultimately, the MPT is all about time management as we all have learned how to issue spot by being in law school.
MBE:
I don’t really know what to say other than just to study. Do a ton of MC to get familiar with the format and also to help get exposed to the more nuanced areas of the law. I did some BarBri MC but what I found helpful were the MC questions from the ncbe themselves. They are fairly cheap and well worth it as they come from the source themselves and are how the questions on the bar are worded. Now, these MC’s by the ncbe are on the easier side but they give you a feel for the formatting of the Q’s. I also just hated Barbri questions which is probably why I liked the ncbe Q’s so much.
Overall, don’t stress about not studying enough/ not completing your course. A lot of the bar prep courses allot a ton of time to writing essays for every subject and for writing MPTs. Personally, I’m a believer that if you know the law then the MEE’s won’t be bad and thus just focus your time on learning the law and practicing the MC Q’s.
Hope this is helpful

I had some things that had sugacaffeine in it, and I forgot how they affect me and I was wondering if I’m like alone on this because I have had this issue my whole life where I’ll eat like one bite of a brownie or just a few skittles and feel really sick and cant have anymore unless im intoxicated with edibles for some reason and the sweety taste is good; like air heads or chocolate taste good but it’s still alot to it and not worth what I feel two bites into the candy bar or even gum
i talked a little bit about it to my therapist about this before and she said it could be a sensory thing especially with taste. but yeah I generally am in pain, ill be on the floor until further notice :c (plus the floor is just a nice place)

During the golden era of the early '00s, I landed what might have been the best high school job at Blockbuster. My official title read "Rewinder", which was as glamorous as it sounds, but came with its fair share of other cinema-centric chores.
Each day started with a scavenger hunt through the return drop box. My mission? To find and rescue VHS tapes that customers returned unrewound. Technically, we were supposed to charge a $2 rewinding fee for these misdemeanors, but let’s be honest, most of us were too chill to bother.
Once the tapes were checked in and the good citizens (those who rewound their tapes) had their videos shelved back for rental, I'd retreat to my fortress: the Rewinder Room. This was a windowless 8'x10' bunker, where the walls were armored with VHS rewinders. Here I would spend the majority of my shift, hiding out and living the life.
But that's not all. Between the rewinding sessions, I played the role of shelf organizer, snack bar operator, and occasionally, the reluctant customer advisor (only when I couldn’t convincingly blend into the background). Oh, and let’s not forget the critical task of checking video cases for proper tape returns and making sure the snack aisle was stocked with the freshest of the "expired" candy selection - okay they weren't always expired. If they were close to expiration, they somehow magically found their way into the rewinder room.. odd...
My throne? A metal folding chair from which I ruled over my 33" CRT kingdom, indulging in movie marathons that would make a film buff weep. Yeah, it was an era of watching films, munching on stale candy, and mastering the art of minimal customer interaction, and possibly partaking in some "movie-enhancing herbal therapy" - I can neither confirm nor deny.
A note for all you youngsters: Back in the day, frequently rewinding on a regular VCR was a quick way to wear out both the VCR heads and the VHS tapes themselves. That's why we had these nifty little gadgets called rewinders at Blockbuster. These devices were dedicated solely to rewinding tapes, and they did so much faster than your average VCR could. So next time you're chatting with your parents, ask them about these—chances are they'll remember these unsung heroes of the VHS era.
Any questions about working at the most amazing job every, feel free to ask!

Hey everyone!
As a current college student (or recent grad), I wanted to share some writing tips that have helped me navigate the often daunting world of college essays and research papers. Whether you’re a freshman just getting started or a senior tackling your thesis, these tips should make the writing process a bit smoother.
1. Start Early and Plan Ahead
Procrastination is the enemy. Start your writing assignments as early as possible. Create a timeline with mini-deadlines to keep yourself on track. Breaking down the assignment into smaller tasks can make it less overwhelming.
2. Understand the Assignment
Before you start writing, make sure you understand what the assignment requires. Read the prompt carefully, and if anything is unclear, don’t hesitate to ask your professor for clarification.
3. Create an Outline
Outlines are incredibly helpful in organizing your thoughts and structuring your paper. An outline ensures that your paper flows logically from one point to the next, which makes for a more coherent and persuasive argument.
4. Use Credible Sources
Make sure to use reputable sources for your research. Academic journals, books, and trusted websites (like .edu and .gov domains) are great places to start. Always check the credibility of your sources to avoid misinformation.
5. Develop a Strong Thesis Statement
Your thesis statement is the backbone of your essay. It should be clear, concise, and convey the main argument of your paper. Spend time refining your thesis until it accurately reflects the purpose of your essay.
6. Write Multiple Drafts
Your first draft is just that – a draft. Don’t be discouraged if it’s not perfect. Use it as a foundation to build on. Revise and rewrite until you’re satisfied with the final product. Each draft should be better than the last.
7. Proofread and Edit
Never submit a paper without proofreading it. Look out for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. Editing is also about improving clarity and coherence. Consider reading your paper out loud or having someone else review it for you.
8. Cite Your Sources
Plagiarism is a serious offense in academia. Make sure to properly cite all the sources you use in your paper according to the required citation style (APA, MLA, Chicago, etc.). There are many citation tools available online to help with this.
9. Seek Feedback
Don’t be afraid to seek feedback from peers, professors, or writing centers on campus. Constructive criticism can provide new perspectives and insights that can improve your paper significantly.
10. Practice Self-Care
Writing can be stressful, especially when deadlines are looming. Remember to take breaks, get enough sleep, and maintain a healthy balance. A clear mind will make your writing process much more efficient.
Hope these tips help you ace your next writing assignment! What other writing strategies have worked for you? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

So there I am, The Desi Playboy, back in my scrawny college days, just a couple of lean dudes fresh off a bar-hopping spree, chilling at the bus stop. Out of nowhere, this hulk of a caucasoid frat bro comes up, gives me a slap on the back that damn near sends me flying into next Tuesday. "Owww!!" I couldn't help but yelp. Dude struts past us, throwing over his shoulder, "Time to hit the gym, boys!!" I brushed it off, ego slightly bruised. After all, I'm the guy who’s been repping out with 20 lb dumbbells in my apartment gym like I’m training for the Olympics. That’s got to count for something, right?
Growing up, our idea of exercise was running away from aunties at family gatherings or maybe the occasional cricket match that was more about snacks than sports. The gym? That was uncharted territory. Our parents, bless their hearts, equated physical fitness with being able to sprint for the bus without wheezing. The notion of lifting weights, tracking macros, and chugging protein shakes was as alien to them as ketchup on biryani.

Attraction: It’s More than Just Physical

Have you ever had a girl flirtatiously squeeze your biceps, reinforcing the stud that you are? How about playfully slapping your ass when you’re not looking? That moment, my man, is raw, primal attraction at its finest—a kind of magnetism most men sadly never get to feel. Are you getting that type of attention from the ladies? Going to the gym and lifting weights is the first step into becoming that fuckable specimen. Picture this: you're strutting around, radiating confidence, and women gravitate to you, captivated, before you even utter a word. Arguably, muscles on a man is the equivalent of nice tits and ass on a woman. It's like you've got this invisible force field of allure, and all it took was a little sweat, discipline, and iron at the gym.
Think about it. In a world where first impressions are made in the blink of an eye, your body speaks volumes before you've even had a chance to dazzle with your wit or charm. It's not superficial; it's literally science. Physical fitness signals health, vigor, and, let's be real, the ability to handle business, whether that's lifting heavy things during a move or just looking damn good in a fitted shirt. An unfortunate reality is that women often manipulate men to get their needs met. However, men can simply manipulate the environment themselves to get their needs met. You think your crush is opening those pickle jars by herself? A nice, jacked body signals to women that you are good at manipulating your immediate physical surroundings.
So, if you're lounging on the fence, wondering whether hitting the gym is worth it, let me spell it out for you: Hell yes, it is. Not for the fleeting attention or the shallow compliments, but for the undeniable boost in how you perceive yourself and, subsequently, how the world sees you including women. It's about becoming a magnet not just for looks, but for respect, confidence, and yes, a whole lot of that good old-fashioned primal attraction.
Get ready to be the guy who walks into a room and commands it, not because you demand it, but because you've earned it, one rep at a time. Let's ditch the excuses, embrace the grind, and transform not just our bodies, but our entire damn aura. The iron calls, gentlemen.

Built Different

Our Desi genes serve us a mixed platter when it comes to body types. Some of us are fat fucks, while others are fragile twigs no matter how many samosas we demolish. For those of you guys on the overweight side.. Do you have Ananth Ambani money? No? Then you literally can’t afford that body if you want pussy. And if you can afford that body it is gonna bite you in the ass when you have heart disease.
Those of you scrawny sticks? Stop looking down at the more muscular bros and start looking at the women they’re pulling. Don’t get me started on that weird gray area a lot of us brown dudes fall into. I’m talking about the skinny fat phenomenon—a term as oxymoronic as 'jumbo shrimp'. It’s that peculiar body type where you look slim clothed but are a marshmallow in disguise. It’s the bane of many a Desi dude, a sneaky reminder of all those laddoos and no leg days. Ready to get rid of the bitch tits?
Look around at the next family gathering. Notice how cousin Rohan is built like a tank, but you got that uncle bod? That’s your first clue that genetics play a bigger role in this game than you might’ve thought. Tailoring your workout to your body type isn’t just smart; it’s crucial if you want to see real, lasting results.
Custom Cuts: Here’s the deal—

• Ectomorph Bros (The Lean Machines): You’re the guy who can inhale a whole pizza and not gain an ounce. Your mission? Focus on strength training to build mass and incorporate calorie-dense foods to support growth. Less cardio, more lifting.
• Endomorph Gang (The Easy Gainers): You look at a donut, and it goes straight to your hips. Your path? A mix of cardio and strength training to shed fat while building lean muscle. And yeah, keeping an eye on those calories is key.
• Mesomorph Legends (The Natural Athletes): You’ve got the best of both worlds but don’t get cocky. Balance is your best friend—equal parts strength, cardio, and a diet that fuels both muscle building and fat loss.

Alright, which of these body types are you rocking? Lean Machine, Easy Gainer, or Natural Athlete? Time to design a workout routine that suits your unique build. Yes, The Desi Playboy is dishing out homework, but trust me, it’s for a mighty good cause: to make you irresistible to the ladies. Now before we actually start integrating that workout routine let’s not forget to revisit the food on our plate.

Desi Diet Doom

The Desi diet is a freakin’ carb fest—a glorious, tasty trap that’s basically a middle finger to your muscle gains and fat loss goals. You probably recognize the following: plates piled high with rice, naan, and rotis, with a side of “Are you even eating enough?” from every relative. Navigating this when you’re trying to get ripped or ditch the belly fat is like being on a diet in a candy store.
Every meal’s a carb carnival, and while you love it, your body’s begging like, “Bro, where’s the protein?” It's like trying to build a house with all bricks and no cement. And oh, the ghee and oil. Delicious? Hell yeah. Conducive to abs? Hell no. It’s like slathering your goals with butter—tasty but terribly counterproductive. Add to that the mountain of sweets at every family function—those jalebis and gulab jamuns are seductive, but they’re saboteurs hiding in plain sight, wrecking your waistline one sweet bite at a time. If you’re gunning for that sculpted look, it might be time to negotiate a peace treaty with your sweet tooth and get serious about sneaking more lean meats and greens onto your plate.
Now let’s be honest, are you cooking all these Indian meals yourself? Or have you become completely dependent on your mom’s cooking? Is the extent of your cooking skills limited to boiling water and maybe, on a good day, making a mean cup of chai? Let me guess you top off the chai with some of Amma’s sweet sweet titty milk too? Listen up, because here’s the deal breaker—women are attracted to guys who’ve got their life sorted, including what’s on their plate. And if you’re letting mom choose whether it’s dal or paneer for dinner tonight, don’t be surprised if she’s also the one choosing your bride.
This, my dudes, is precisely why I’m all about preaching the gospel of DIY in the kitchen. It’s more than just about mixing spices; it’s about mixing independence into your life recipe. Grabbing the reins of your culinary journey isn’t just about impressing dates; it’s about fueling your body right, especially if you’re looking to bulk up and carve out those gains.

Protein Power Moves

There’s a way to keep the flavors of home without turning into a samosa yourself. It’s about being smart with your choices, making swaps, and still being able to face your grandma without guilt.
Lean and Mean: Start mixing in more lean meats, tofu, and legumes. Think chicken tikka, dal tadka with less tadka, and grilled paneer. Your muscles will thank you. But why stop there? Venture beyond with dishes like Thai grilled chicken or Turkish lentil soup. These global cuisines offer high-protein dishes that still dance on the tongue.
Smart Swaps: Ditch the white rice for quinoa or brown rice. Swap some of those rotis for a big-ass bowl of salad. Sprinkle some Mediterranean zest with a Greek salad, or bring a burst of Japanese flavor with a side of edamame. It’s about keeping the essence of Desi cuisine but making it work for your gains.
Supplement Smartly: Yeah, protein shakes might look like drugs to your folks, but they’re your BFFs on this journey. Mix that stuff with some milk or water, and chug. Think of it as a cheat code for muscle building—quick, efficient, and straight to the point.
Explore and Expand: Don’t be shy to sprinkle some culinary curiosity into your diet. Try Korean BBQ for a protein-packed meal, or if you're feeling adventurous, a Peruvian ceviche can offer a refreshing twist packed with high-quality protein. These flavors not only enhance your palate but also fuel your fitness goals.
So, there you have it. Turning the Desi diet dilemma into a muscle-building manifesto doesn’t have to be a soap opera. Keep the flavors, ditch the excess carbs and fats, and for the love of all that is holy, make protein your main homie. Expand your culinary horizons to keep your meals exciting and your body guessing.

From Diet to Dates

Alright, my fellow Desi bros, let’s wrap this up. If you’re serious about leveling up your game with the ladies, it’s time to get real about your diet, fitness, and lifestyle. Tailor your workout to your body type—whether you're an ectomorph, endomorph, or mesomorph—and make the gym your second home. Ditch the carb-loaded Desi diet for protein-packed meals. Whether you’re eating lean meats or are a vegetarian, make smart swaps like quinoa for white rice and grilled paneer for fried snacks.
Start cooking for yourself to fuel those gains and show you’ve got your life together. These changes lay the foundation for attracting women by boosting your confidence and health. The journey starts now. Let’s make those gains and turn some heads. The iron awaits, gentlemen.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’ll dive into lifting and integrating your workout routine to get you on track.
Check out the full article here: https://open.substack.com/pub/desiplayboy/p/iron-and-spices?r=k8bgi&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
For more such insights and to continue the conversation, follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/TheDesiPlayboy.

What happened:
So, the other day, (Sunday), Chome was being really slow and laggy, so I closed a few tabs until there were only one or two tabs open. That didn't fix the lag, so I closed Chrome and restarted my laptop (Windows 11, if relevant).
When I opened it back up, it obviously updated, because the 'new update available' icon wasn't visible in the top right anymore (I hadn't closed chrome for a while at that point, so it never updated until then).
However, I quickly noticed that the background I use wasn't loading, and my shortcuts were replaced by websites I requently visit or just recently visited. The middle search bar was also missing. This weirded me out, so i typed a few discriptors into the top search bar to see if it had anything to do with a new update or something.
When the results came up, they were on yahoo! and not google. This caused me to immediately panic, because I had just installed Bluestacks on my laptop (which, as far as I know, has a bit of a bad reputation when it comes to being safe, at least on Reddit), and I have had the unfortunate experience of having downloaded a trojan and a browser hijacker on my pc before (different device, in case you're wondering).
I then noticed the yahoo! icon to the left of the top search bar. My immediate thoughts were that it was a browser hijacker that came or was introduced by installing Bluestacks. I immediately deleted everything Bluestacks (all the .exes, folders, everything that came with it), or at least everything I could find that was related to it. I deleted it permanently, and removed the program from control panel. There was a file or two that I needed to look up in order to delete, but it's gone now.
After doing a bit of searching on Microsoft Bing (I have it on my computer and I didn't feel safe using Chrome/Yahoo!) I restored my Chrome to default settings and it seemed to remove the yahoo thing (and my background, but I wan't that upset about it because it was one of the ones in the google collection thing) and my shortcuts turned back to normal. Basically, everything at this point turned back to normal.
Afterwards:
I then started to do a little bit more digging to find if there was anything about this effect/bug/thing. I found the thing in chrome that allows you to change search engines. When I toggled it to yahoo! the icon on the top search bar thing was replicated, but it just showed the default yahoo! screen instead of the bugged screen I saw prior to defaulting my settings.
I noted that the yahoo thing didn't mess with incognito (I tested it, while I didn't search anything on incognito when the bug occured, the icon thing in the top search bar wasn't there). I also had my school account as a Chrome profile for easier access while doing school homework. I opened that up, and it seemed to be normal.
To be clear, all of the above paragraph occured during the bug, prior to the reset.^^^
I messed a bit with the other search engines to see if I could replicate the bugged screen. While on my regular account it seemed to bring me to the default page of the search engine (yahoo, yandex, etc.), on my school account (where many things are blocked, three of the search engines were blocked but that doesn't matter that much to me), and I managed to get something close to the bugged screen with yandex *(first image I included in this post).
Yesterday, I managed to find a reddit post that included an image of a screen that looked almost completely identical to what my bugged screen looked like, except it was red (which I assume had something to do with their theme, and not any bug).
The post: https://www.reddit.com/chrome/comments/vxih28/chrome_browser_crashed_and_now_it_looks_like_this/
What I need help with:
As this incident freaked me out a bit, I want to know what caused it and if it is still on my computer and will reoccur or something, or if it was a one-off bug. Obviously I'm not a professional or anything, and I just wanted to see if anyone on this reddit knew what this was and if I should be concerned or not.
My take:
After a bit of investigation after the incident, I got mostly that it was one of three possibilities.
Firstly, that it was a bug caused by new updates (again, hadn't updated Chrome for a period of time before this incident), and not anything malicious.
Secondly, it was caused by me downloading Bluestacks, causing malware to fiddle its way into my computer. I scanned it (my computer) with Windows Defender and Malwarebytes Premium Trial, and nothing came up. I also uninstalled Bluestacks quickly after I discovered this problem (not saying that this wasn't the case, but just stating measures I took that could affect the probability of this being the problem.
Thirdly, it was an extension. Okay, there are kinda two possibilities here too, but one is far more likely than the other.
First, the less likely possibility, there is some sort of malicious extension on my chrome browser that caused the issue. However, I don't have any extensions that may be malicious: Malwarebytes, Kindle, Return Youtube Dislke (which I deleted after this incident), Google Docs Offline, uBlock Origin, and Mcafee WebAdvisor (which is my next point).
Second, the more likely possibility, is that it was Mcafee changing my browser. I've only heard about it on reddit posts, but apparently it was a larger(?) problem 2 years ago? I haven't seen any image of this to know what it looks life to be sure but it is a possibility that it was Mcafee WebAdvisor that caused this problem (which I'm okay with, if this was because of Mcafee- cause it's not going to harm me like a virus would).
~~~
If anyone could help me out, I would very appreciate it. I apologize for the long (essay) post, but I wanted to make as many details as clear as possible. If you know anywhere that this post could also be posted to, and that you believe I would get a better or more accurate answer, please inform me.

What is perfect competitor research?

Perfect competitor research is a strategic analysis technique used by businesses to gain a competitive edge in the market. It involves studying and analyzing the strategies, strengths, and weaknesses of competitors who operate in the same industry or target the same customer base. By understanding how competitors position themselves, what marketing tactics they employ, and how they engage with customers, businesses can identify opportunities to differentiate themselves and attract more customers. In today's highly competitive market, conducting perfect competitor research has become essential for businesses looking to stay ahead. It provides valuable insights that can inform decision-making and help businesses develop effective marketing strategies.

Why is perfect competitor research important?

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Understanding the Market

Identifying your competitors

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Analyzing competitor strategies

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Evaluating market trends

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Using SEMrush for Competitor Research

Finding competitor keywords

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Gaining an Edge in the Market

Identifying gaps in the market

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Optimizing marketing strategies

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Implementing Perfect Competitor Research

Creating a research plan

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Collecting and analyzing data

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Applying insights to business strategies

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Conclusion

The power of perfect competitor research

Perfect competitor research is a powerful tool that can give businesses a significant edge in the market. By analyzing the strategies and tactics of their competitors, companies can gain valuable insights into what works and what doesn't. One of the key players in the field of competitor research is SEMrush, a leading digital marketing tool. With its comprehensive database and advanced analytics, SEMrush allows businesses to uncover the strengths and weaknesses of their competitors, identify new opportunities, and make informed decisions. For businesses using platforms like Wix, perfect competitor research can provide invaluable guidance on how to optimize their online presence, improve their search engine rankings, and attract more customers. By leveraging the power of perfect competitor research, businesses can stay ahead of the competition and achieve long-term success.

Staying ahead in a competitive market

In today's competitive market, staying ahead is crucial for businesses to succeed. With the increasing number of competitors, it has become essential to find ways to gain an edge and stand out from the crowd. One effective strategy is to conduct perfect competitor research using tools like SEMrush. By analyzing the strengths and weaknesses of your competitors, you can identify opportunities and threats in the market. This research allows you to make informed decisions and develop strategies that give you a competitive advantage. With SEMrush, you can uncover valuable insights about your competitors' online presence, including their keywords, backlinks, and advertising strategies. Armed with this information, you can optimize your own marketing efforts and stay ahead of the competition. By leveraging the power of perfect competitor research with SEMrush, businesses can position themselves as industry leaders and achieve long-term success.

SEMrush as a valuable tool

SEMrush is a valuable tool for gaining an edge in the market. With its comprehensive competitor research capabilities, SEMrush provides valuable insights into the strategies and tactics employed by other businesses in the industry. By analyzing the performance of competitors, businesses can identify opportunities for improvement and develop effective strategies to outperform their rivals. Additionally, SEMrush offers a range of features that help businesses optimize their online presence, including keyword research, backlink analysis, and website auditing. Overall, SEMrush is an indispensable tool for businesses looking to stay ahead of the competition and achieve success in the market.
In conclusion, online marketing can be easy and effective with the right tools and strategies. With Semrush, you can turn the algorithm into your friend and make your business visible online. With over 55+ tools for SEO, PPC, content, social media, and competitive research, Semrush provides everything you need to achieve measurable results from your online marketing efforts. Don't miss out on the opportunity to boost your online presence and drive more traffic to your website. Visit Semrush today and start optimizing your online marketing campaigns!

Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
ACADEMIC TASKS MY TEAM AND I CAN COMPLETE:

• Entire Degree Programs
• Full Online Classes (1 - 20+ Weeks Long)
• Proctored Exams Quizzes Tests
• Homework Assignments
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Projects & Labs
• Discussion Posts
• Annotated Bibliographies
• Employment Assessments
• Certification Programs

MY TEAM'S CLASSES OF EXPERTISE:

• Statistics: AP Statistics Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Intro to Statistics Psychology Statistics Social Science Statistics Statistics & Probability Statistical Methods Statistical & Probability Models
• Math: Advanced Functions Algebra Calculus 1, 2, 3 (and 4 in some schools) Vector Calculus Differential Calculus Integral Calculus Multivariable Calculus Differential Equations Discrete Math Discrete Structures Finite Mathematics Functions Geometry Linear Algebra Precalculus Probability Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry Quantitative Methods & Reasoning
• Science: Anatomy & Physiology Astronomy Biochemistry Biology Chemistry (General, Inorganic & Organic) Dental / Pre-Dental Earth Science Engineering (Almost All Types) Environmental Science Epidemiology Fluid & Mechanics Geology Geophysics Medicine / Pre-Med Microbiology Neuroscience Physics Physical Science
• Business: Accounting Auditing Banking Business Administration Business Law Corporate Finance Cost Accounting Econometrics Economics Finance Financial Institutions Financial Reporting Global Economics Governance International Economics Macroeconomics Management Marketing MBA Courses Mergers and Acquisitions Microeconomics Operations Management Principles of Accounting Real Estate Taxation
• English: Business Writing Creative Writing Critical Reading Digital Media Eastern Literature English Literature Essays Expository & Persuasive Writing Fiction Writing Greek and Roman Philosophy Grammar Poetry
• Humanities & Social Sciences: Architecture Anthropology Art History Communication Criminal Justice Forestry Ethnic Studies Film History Law Pre-Law Music Philosophy Political Science Psychology Psychiatry Religious Studies Sociology Theology Women Studies
• Computer Science & Programming: Android AWS Azure Blockchain Cryptocurrency Smart Contracts C C# C++ Cloud Computer Organization and Assembly Languages CSS Data Science Data Structures and Algorithms Deep Learning Design Patterns Game Design and Development iOS Java Javascript Machine Learning MATLAB MySQL Networking NoSQL Object Oriented Programming Operating Systems PHP Principles of Computer Science Programming for Virtual Reality Programming Languages Python R Robotics Ruby Software Engineering SQL Swift Web Development

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• Acellus ALEKS Aplia APEX Learning Badgr Blackboard Blink Learning Brightspace / D2L Canvas Cengage CengageNow Childsmath Cisco ConnectMath Connexus CPM Crowdmark EViews Edmentum Examity Excel Garch Google Classroom Google Education Gradescope Hawkes Learning Honorlock iClicker InQuizitive (Norton) Java Kaltura Khan Academy Knewton Kryterion LaunchPad MATLAB Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL Mathematica McGraw-Hill Connect MegaStat Microsoft Teams Microsoft Access, Word, Excel, PowerPoint Mindtap Minitab MonitorEDU Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyFinanceLab MyITLab MyMathLab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab NCSS Outlier Pearson MyLab and Mastering Piazza PlatoWeb Prezi Proctor360 Proctorio Proctortrack Python R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam SAM Sapling SAS SPSS Socrative Stata StraighterLine Turnitin VoiceThread WebAssign WebEx WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Zoom

TOP 20 REASONS WHY I'M THE MOST LEGIT EXAM, HW, ONLINE CLASS TUTOR ON REDDIT:

1. U.S. Citizenship Status: I have native-born U.S. citizenship status, an 100% authentic & natural U.S. American accent, and a verified New Jersey, USA residence. I can speak on the phone professionally in both perfect native U.S. English and fluent Canadian English.
2. U.S. 212 Phone Number: I have a verified U.S. American business phone number with the prestigious 212 area code (212-380-1856 - Ext 3) that can both send & receive phone calls, texts, voicemails, photos, and website links.
3. Social Media Verified: I have an active & verified online social media presence with my name and contact info regularly showing up on all major search engines including: Google, Yahoo, and Bing.
4. Professional Website: I have a professional, well-designed, well-written, 100% secure SEO-optimized WordPress business themed website: Hiraedu.com
5. Team of U.S. Academic Experts: I and my team of dedicated academic experts complete all types of academic coursework for students in most math, English, science, business, humanities, social Sciences, computer programming, and foreign language classes on a 24/7/365 full-time round-the-clock basis. This is not some part-time gig for me. It’s literally my primary source of income. I can regularly make myself available to help students with last-minute & same-day academic requests.
6. Essay Writing Skills: I can write essays & research papers in native U.S. American English and fluent Canadian English using APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE formatting & citations.
7. 75+ Types of Academic Software: I am highly skilled & experienced in using over 75+ types of academic software and educational platforms including the following: ALEKS, Blackboard, Brightspace, Canvas, Cengage, WebAssign, ConnectMath, Crowdmark, D2L, Moodle, Pearson MyLab and Mastering, MyMathLab, MyStatLab, MyOpenMath, StraighterLine, WebWork, and Wiley.
8. Can Change IP Address: I have multiple reliable VPN software including: NordVPN, SurfShark & ExpressVPN that allows me to successfully change my computer’s original New Jersey IP address to any major city in the U.S. & Canada to avoid raising red flags with students’ online class software.
9. Proctored Exam Help: I have developed multiple highly effective methods of helping students with exams, tests, and quizzes that are proctored by software like: Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam, Honorlock, Examity, Proctorio, Proctor360, Proctortrack, and ProProctor using 3 highly effective proven methods. Option 1 - WhatsApp: I use WhatsApp to have the student discreetly text me photos of the exam questions outside of the webcam’s view and I text them the correct solutions to the exam questions. Option 2 - Screen Share: Using screen share software like Zoom to see the student’s screen displaying the exam questions and I text the correct solutions. Option 3 - Remote PC Access & Control: Using remote computer access software like to control the student’s mouse and keyboard from my own computer.
10. Study Help Apps: I have over 15+ paid subscriptions to a wide range of study help apps, software, websites, and programs to help me solve exam & homework questions faster and more efficiently. Some of these resources include: Brainly, Chegg, CourseHero, Quizlet, SymboLab & WolframAlpha.
11. Calculators & Math Software: I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
12. Test Taking Techniques: I have developed highly effective methods to determine the correct answers to questions that I’m not already familiar with including process of elimination, working backwards, quickly searching for similar questions online, and utilizing standardized test taking techniques taught only in elite standardized test prep tutoring programs.
13. Handwriting & Scanning Apps: I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, and PDF formats.
14. Flexible Payment Methods: I offer negotiable rates, multiple payment methods (PayPal, Venmo, Cash App, Zelle, anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice), and flexible payment plans: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all-up-front (least expensive).
15. Money Back Guarantee: I have won multiple academic awards for my exceptional skills & expertise in math. I guarantee overall A & B grades for all coursework completed. Plus. I also offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- scores, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F scores.

HOW I CALCULATE FINAL RATES:

• Exams & Quizzes: Final rates for exams and quizzes depend on various factors including: whether or not there is proctoring, how many hours the exam is, total number of questions including sub-parts, preferred method of me delivering solutions, whether it's show all work or just the answer only, and whether the assessment has a flexible window of time to complete or a fixed & rigid start and end time.
• Full Courses: Final rates for full class help depend all the foregoing plus: total number of hw, quizzes, exams, discussion posts, and other academic tasks left that need to be completed, total number of weeks or modules left in the class to complete, and whether there is required multi factor authentication for logging in like Duo Push or text passcode.
• Essays Papers Discussion Posts: Final rates for writing tasks depend on the required number of words or pages. topic of interest, type of citations, required number and type of sources & bibliography style , level of research required, and type of additional software required to complete the essay like: Excel, R, or Minitab.

ABOUT MY RATES & PAYMENT OPTIONS:

• Rationale for My Rates: I sincerely believe my rates are more than fair considering my education, skills, native born U.S. resident status, legitimacy, and the substantial amount of value, stress relief, and saved time & energy I’d be providing you in exchange for my valuable, irretrievable time, energy, and effort.
• Disclaimer About Rates: Completing someone else's exam, essay, or homework assignment is obviously NOT something you can just freely ask anyone to do, especially on the internet. Therefore, such help should be well-compensated. Services that are reliable and deliver high-quality results are difficult to find and are very high in demand. Thus, I expect to be compensated fairly for all the value, stress relief, and saved time & energy my services provide. However, I may be willing to negotiate rates if necessary.
• Payment Methods: I accept PayPal (required for all Canadian students), Venmo, Zelle, Cash App, and anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice.
• Payment Plans: I offer the following payment plans for my services: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all upfront (least expensive).
• Money Back Guarantee: I guarantee the following grades for coursework completed: A+. A, A-, B+, B. and B-. However, I offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- grades, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F grades.

CURRENT RATES -- AS OF SUMMER / FALL 2022 -- SUBJECT TO CHANGE:

• Full Class Help Rates: $595 – $2495 USD
• Exam & Test Help Rates: $150 – $350 USD
• Quiz Help Rates: $60 – $180 USD
• HW Assignment Help Rates: $60 – $420 USD
• Essay & Paper Writing Help Rates: $19 – $29 USD per 300 words

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• Engage in a Telephone interview: Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, and accent. I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• Provide Telephone References: Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• Not Worth the Money: I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• Most Students are Broke: I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes.
• Waste of Time & Energy: Communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine.
• All My Payment Apps are Still Active: If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now.

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Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
CONCLUSION:

• My Mission: Thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit post. I take what I do very seriously and I always strive to get the highest possible grades for all students who entrust me with their coursework.
• Closing Words: Please feel free to reach out to me if you're sincerely interested in having help you with your school work. I am available via text, email, and call almost 24/7/365.

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Genocide looked to the sky. He thought of his mentor. The one who had saved him. He remembered his childhood. How powerless he was. He remembered the anger. He never wanted to hurt anybody. He thought of all the times he showed compassion. How much they hurt him for it. He saw the world before him, a graveyard. Humans. People that were supposed to be made in the image of some divine creator. They were but maggots feasting upon his remains. They ate away at his very being until nothing human remained. His thoughts were no longer his own. He had no joys in life that mattered. He hated humanity more than he could love anything about himself. He remember his first killing spree. Being gunned down by police. Left for dead. He remembered a hooded figure moving towards him. Getting closer the more he neared his death. He saw its pale face. Its impossibly black eyes. It was a man. This figure in question appeared to be of Japanese nationality with long, straight, loose hair. It emanated extreme malice. It offered him a choice. A purpose. Power. He thought the figure a reaper but it identified itself as Amakusa Masataka. Masataka guided him on how to kill and gave him specific locations to kill people in. In a sense, he became a hitman for quotas of people. He inquired what Masataka was. The presence of evil, his ability to appear and disappear at will, how he could control what people could see him and what people couldn't. While vague, years of killing for this being offered some insight. Amakusa Masataka belonged to a group of people not of this world. His people had been corrupted by a dark force long ago and had aligned themselves with the warlord who had subjugated their version of Japan. Their dark high priest assisted the warlord along with two others. These four rulers in turn served a larger order. The four were tasked with bringing about the end of the current world as an act of retribution for some fallen deity. Masataka's people acted as covert operatives for this empire. They were feared across the land and were collectively referred to as "Shinigami". An agent of the coming apocalypse, a servant of evil possessed by the will of those gods of death, Genocide would walk the earth.
Genocide stepped toward the station. A police cruiser rammed into him. He pulled out a knife and stabbed the hood of the car. The inhuman force of the knife created sparks which burst the engine into flames. The car crashed into a streetlight and exploded. A second cruiser neared the scene. No way a man could have done this. Yet still, out of the fires Genocide strode forth. It set upon the second vehicle, shooting out it's tires while jumping 9 feet into the air. The car tries to reverse but crashes into a wall. Genocide lands on the hood and kicks through the front window. Glass shatters under its boot, blinding the two officers inside. Genocide shoots one of the officers with a shotgun, killing him. The second officer in the passenger seat readies his pistol and takes aim. Only two shots fired, both directed at Genocide's head. It casually cocks its neck to avoid them. Then it grabs the officer's arm, breaking it. Genocide uses its free hand to grab the officer's head and bangs it into the dashboard no less than 5 times. The skull is shattered on the final impact. Genocide jumps off the car and continues on his mission.
Detective Evans speaks through a megaphone," This is your first and final warning. Stand down or we will use any and all means at our disposal to put you down." Genocide dropped its shotgun and raised its hands. A group of five SWAT team members rushed out the station, surrounding Genocide with riot shields. An officer accompanies them, edging behind the figure to apply handcuffs. Suddenly, Genocide springs to life , grabbing the officer behind him. He flips the officer over his head, slamming him into the pavement at his feet. Then Genocide stomps his head causing it to burst. Genocide drops a flash bomb from his coat sleeve, blinding the SWAT team as he draws his knife. He drives it into one SWAT member, the knife puncturing the shield and piercing his chest. Genocide kicks the corpse away withdrawing his knife. He goes to another, this time using the end of his boot toe in a rising kick to disarm their shield. He grabs them by the throat and drives the knife slowly into their eye socket. Another is tackled to the ground and beaten to death despite still being under the shield. Another is picked up and thrown into the fires still burning from the first auto incident. In no time, Genocide stood before an indistinguishable mass of gore, blood streaking across his black leather outfit. He laughed" So this is all you can give me. I'm not entertained." Officers took aim from the station windows, and snipers did so from other rooftops. Genocide laughed maniacally as he was rained down upon from all sides by a hailstorm of bullets. His body convulsed, but he did not fall. Moments more and he was on his knees. Still though, their efforts were futile. Gracia looked out and saw a black mist coalescing around the man in black. His blood. Blood erupted from his body only to transform into this dark mist that reentered his wounds. Genocide screamed. No. It was just an elevated pitch in his laughter. Optimism failed everyone yet again. Gracia saw Genocide holding something in his right hand. She could only make out a beeping red light. Genocide pushed the button triggering the carefully concealed explosives he laid in preparation for this event. C4 explosives went off in all the places he saw fit. The sniping posts he couldn't reach. The assault of lead lightened. Then Genocide drew an RPG from...somewhere. He collected himself and fired at the station's entrance. The explosion shook the station. From inside, the lights began to flicker. Communications were down on all fronts. Had he modified the rocket with some type of EMP? Not good. Amisdst the confusion Genocide entered using smoke bombs to mask his presence. Moving like a shadow, he killed everyone in the lobby silently with his knife. He made his way to the holding cells. Still they chanted. Still they praised. Still they raved for the arrival of genocide. Genocide shot the lock opening the cell. Jim Jimenez walked out and bowed before his master. Genocide smiled. He couldn't have imagined how proficient he had gotten with possession. Well, not quite possession. He had known of the Shinigami's ability to share their thoughts and emotions with humans. Shinigami like his mentor were ancient. They had so many years of memories, such strong a hatred for life that they overwhelmed the personality of the victim. The victim sees themselves as one of them. Shinigami can't force the will of the victim, so they find those who are already similar to them in some way. Genocide found the collective universal distrust of police to be a prime sentiment to capitalize on. He armed the inmates, infecting them with samples of his own dark essence.One particular inmate caught Genocide's eye. He knew the man's work. An arsonist. The one whom he recalls was responsible for blowing up his first car way back in high school. Rather than a standard firearm, Genocide gave the man a random assortment of grenades containing a special surprise. Genocide showed them visions of anarchy, of sending a message to a society that used and disregarded them. While this was also true of how he felt, years of living in darkness had changed him. He needed no purpose. No end goal. No justification. He just wanted to watch the world burn.
Genocide's small army broke off to engage several different wings of the station. Genocide went to the security room. He found Wayne, his informant, playing some FPS on one of the monitors. Wayne took of his headphones and asked," You kill everyone yet?" Genocide responded," No. You should get going before that happens. Your life becomes fair game if I run out of pigs to cook." Wayne clapped his hands, "Aight, GC my man, say less." He packed his things and left. Genocide drew a twin pair of handguns and laid waste to the station. He followed a group that took cover in the men's restroom. Kicking open multiple stalls he was surprised to find...nothing. Where had they gone? He turned around and saw his mentor, Masataka, smiling at him. It looked like him. Long, dark hair, black clothing, and soulless, empty eyes. But it wasn't. It was Genocide's own reflection in the mirror. Genocide smiled. He didn't notice the changes at first. They must have happened gradually. Subconsciously. From the final stall, an officer sprung into action, rushing Genocide, hitting him point blank with a shockgun round. Genocide felt the tingling sensation electrifying his body and grew numb. In spite of the pain, he took a single step. Then, another. He came within striking range of the officer and snatched the shockgun. Two more officers erupted from another stall, battering him with baton strikes. Genocide felt nothing. He clutched the shockgun in his hand like a bat and went to work pulverizing his attackers. An officer kicked in the bathroom door, a woman holding a pistol. She fired multiple times to no effect. Genocide stood covered in blood. He even let her reload. Twice. He wanted to see her despair. Her hopelessness. He walked towards her, shrugging off bullets as they pierced his body. His wounds healed nigh instantly due to the dark essence he had been imbued with. He held her face with both hands, lifting her body off the ground. As she screamed, he used her head to shatter the restroom mirror, running down the full length of it while smashing her into it at several points. He dropped the remains of what he held, washed his hands with soap, dried them, then exited the restroom.
The inmates that rallied for the cause of genocide attacked the station. Fortunately, they were nowhere near Genocide in terms of power and only carried one type of firearm each. They shared his healing ability but could be killed quite easily. Gracia encountered a sniper on the end or a west wing hallway. Other officers waited behind corners unable to get close. Gracia noticed the faulty lighting. In this hallway, the lights flickered in intervals of 3 seconds. Finding a pattern and timing her movements, she rushed the sniper at the exact moment the lights went out. Running the length of the hall, Gracia zigzagged, dodging the sniper inmate's bullets. She jumped on a wall, ran 3 feet on it, then kicked off it, pouncing on the assailant. She fired five shots into him, making sure to hit the brain and the heart. Two severe injuries that were impossible for Shinigami essence to heal simultaneously. Elsewhere, Evans took on another escaped inmate. A vehicular arsonist named Carson. Carson had a bag filled with an assortment of different grenades and was happily giving them out like candy on Halloween. "A flash bang here, a bit of tear gas there. Oh. Wait! Was that an ice grenade? Did the explosion freeze your leg to the floor? Whoops. Maybe a fire grenade will melt that for you. Hold on let me get one fore you," Carson rambled gleefully. Evans looked at the carnage before him. Officers burning. Officers partially frozen in blocks of ice. He took a breath and aimed his wristgun. He steadied his right forearm. Carson readied to throw a random grenade. Evans shot it the moment it left Carson's hand. The grenade exploded directly in front of Carson. Both Evans and Carson looked at each other in shock. Confetti. A party grenade? Carson quickly fumbled for another but was tackled and restrained by several officers. Meanwhile in the South wing, Lary had some colleagues set a trap for another shotgun toting inmate. He had them bait the inmate and flee. Giving chase he turned a corner and ran straight into Lary's fist. The inmate recovered and motioned to shoot Lary. "Let's tango. " Lary gave the code word. Nearby officers activated a device. A signal jammer of sorts. The inmate shoved the barrel of his gun into Lary's gut and pulled the trigger. Nothing. The special signal jammer in question was designed for firearms. It was a last resort as it left officers just as defenseless. Lary was having fun. He boxed the inmate in hand to hand combat. Despite the inmate's enhanced strength, Lary's technique pulled through. Lary ducked under one of the inmate's wide punches and did some type of rising uppercut where he jumped off the ground while spinning. One of the other officers whispered" The rising dragon." Lary smiled giving a thumbs up" Yeah, it was a rising dragon uppercut. Saw it in one O my kid's vidya games. Thought I'd try it out while I'm jacked on adrenaline".
Jim Jimenez looked long and hard at himself in the mirror. He was in the women's restroom. Some brainless woman had broken the men's restroom mirror with her face. For the first time in a long while Jim could think clearly. He was becoming sane. At the least he was no longer a raving lunatic. The life essence of the dark gods had healed the wounds to both his body and his mind. He saw his face, his scraggly dirty beard. He found a razor and shaved. He trimmed his beard somewhat. He liked it. He washed his hair. It fell down his face like silk, no longer greasy. His bloodshot eyes once burning with crazed intensity had cooled. He blinked. Just for a second, he saw the man known as Genocide. The man that attacked him. The one that killed him and gave him new life. The drug dealers. The police. They were all the same in his eyes now. They were all to blame for the world being what it is. Jim wanted to hate them. He wanted to take revenge, but he felt nothing. It didn't matter. He knew he was wronged, could logically justify acting against them, but he just didn't care anymore. About anything. He was finally free. Sensing his presence was no longer needed here, Jim vanished into the night. He needed to find someone who had had the answers he needed. Himself. Who had he been? Who was he now? Who could he become? Where was he going? So many questions to ponder indefinitely. So much time left in the rest of his life.
Genocide ran down the station's halls raining hailstorms of bullets upon its occupants. He had a handgun in each hand as well as a wristgun on each wrist. This effectively gave him 4 separate firearms that he could use simultaneously. Lary regrouped with Gracia, Evans, and a handful of others. They radioed all surviving officers near Genocide to flee to the roof. This plan had been set in motion days before the assault and had been kept hidden from most of the force. The plan involved scheduling flights for several helicopters to arrive at some point after Genocide arrived. There would be no way for him to prepare for them and pre-scheduling their arrival ensured they arrived regardless of if they were called or not. Lary and the others set about preparing the second jamming device. Genocide stood among a hallway of bodies. He saw one man clinging to life trying to crawl away. He decided on trying that other thing he saw his master do. He grabbed the dying man and pinned him to the wall. Slowly he drove a knife into his chest. As the man's life slipped away, something else entered his body. Genocide channeled a small amount of his essence into the vessel. He had steadily done this with other casualties around the station whose bodies were somewhat salvageable. He dropped the body he was holding and looked upon the others. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his eyed were black, both sclera and iris. The scene before him changed. Genocide had a vision. He saw a dead gray wasteland littered with bodies. These people however weren't cops and wore traditional Japanese attire. In his hand wasn't a gun or knife but a short sickle akin to a farming tool. He heard a dark voice call out to him. Slowly, the corpses around him began to rise, now mere puppets bound eternally to their master's whim. The bodies sold to the reaper who had claimed their lives. Genocide's vision ended. His eyes had returned normal. Around him, dead cops began to rise. His dark essence had entered their bodies and reanimated them. He sent his dead army to attack the officers fleeing to the roof of the station. These zombies swarmed the stairwell giving chase to the few survivors. There were five of them. They had two flights of stairs to climb and a horde of their former colleagues close behind them. One officer tripped and was set upon by the horde. The zombies didn't bite them but held them firmly in place. The other four officers stared down wondering what to do. They could hear Genocide chuckling. They could hear humming. They could feel the temperature rising. Their colleague and the two zombies holding him were hit by an enormous green fireball. Genocide had fired a Magnum Opus and had charged the bullet to level 3. The Magnum Opus was simply a magnum that shot fireballs, with bullets that could be charged by holding down the trigger. It had three levels of charges. Level 1 was a small reddish ball of plasma. Level 2 was slightly larger and yellow. Level 3 was the maximum charge and resulted in a large slow moving green blast of energy. The officer was ignited and Genocide watched gleefully as the force of the blast sent him flying through a wall. The four officers continued up firing occasionally to slow down the zombies. Soon they made it to a door leading to the roof. Before one officer could reach it, he was sniped by Genocide, a bullet to the head killing him instantly. The remaining three made it out. They regrouped with the others already there, 12 in total, including Lary, Evans, and Gracia. This would be their final stand. They just had to hold out until Genocide made it up there. They just had to keep Genocide occupied until the helicopters arrived. Genocide slowly ascended the stairs behind his horde. On the roof, the remaining survivors faced off against waves of the undead. Evans recognized the attackers. These zombies were being controlled by nanomachines. He heard the stories of several weapons encountered by soldiers on the battlefield. These creatures were called Metaldeads as they were reanimated via machines. They had been officially banned by most of the worlds' governments for being unethical. However, this did not stop the technology from being spread still between shady organizations, terrorists, etc. Evans wondered how Genocide got this form of nanotechnology. Evans long speculated that the dark essence used by most of the killers they encountered was a a form of nanotech however it was different from anything else he had seen or heard about. The dark essence seemed to be an amalgamation of other types of nanotech. Evans had to save his inquiries for later. He reloaded his wristgun and took aim at the approaching group of Metaldeads. Gracia steadied her handgun and shot two Metaldeads in the head. From the single door countless arms seemed to spill forth from the darkness. The other officers took turns firing in intervals. this allowed them to create a steady stream of fire where no more that three guns needed to be reloaded at once. The horde seemed to thin out over time as if they were making progress. In actuality, the Metaldeads were just making room for Genocide to enter. Genocide exploded in a sprint from the door. Everyone fired upon the killer. Genocide had now chosen a wrist mounted mini flamethrower to use as his weapon. He stormed past the oncoming bullets taking some damage, but refused to slow down. He unleashed a stream of fire that caught five of the officers in one fell swoop. Gracia fired five rounds into Genocide's face. He stumbled back. Lary took the chance to fire several mine gun bullets at Genocide's feet. The mines quickly detected his movement and exploded. In seconds, Genocide was on his back.
Staring at the night sky Genocide saw the moon. He reached for it. He called for the darkness to give him more power. His wounds began healing. In the sky he could hear the whirl of propellers. There were six helicopters in total. The first two had evacuated the survivors while the others stayed to engage Genocide. Genocide got up and unstrapped the sniper rifle from his back. He stood before the searchlights as a black silhouette, cornered but unwilling to back down. Lary stared down at him smiling. "Okay!" He shouted, "Let's Tango!" Upon this declaration the second jamming device was activated. Now, isolated on the roof, Genocide's guns couldn't be fired and the helicopters were out of range of the device. Now Genocide stood like a sitting duck. A helicopter fired a rocket. Genocide side stepped and grabbed it. He turned his body redirecting the rocket to hit another helicopter. As it exploded Genocide drew his knife and threw it at another helicopter. Behind the knife was such force that it shattered the helicopter window's glass, embedding itself in the pilot. This helicopter too went down where it exploded. "Holy clucknuggets!Did you see that!?" Lary said dumbfounded. Evans looked out the helicopter door he was in jaw open in shock. "There's no way." He collected himself quickly and radioed the remaining two helicopters to keep moving and to use their machineguns as much as possible. The helicopters reigned down upon Genocide tearing apart his body. Shreds of leather and darkened blood sprayed across the pavement of the roof. Gracia watched as Genocide's body was destroyed repeatedly as it tried to heal. Surely he had to stop at some point. After 10 minutes the helicopters had exhausted their cache of ammunition and soldiers opted to fire their own rifles and occasionally throw grenades. After about six minutes, they too had run out of bullets. Genocide stood unfazed. He had long since healed himself and now appeared intangible with gunfire seeming to pass through his body. His coat once ripped , now appeared whole though on closer inspection seemed to writhe. Gracia looked in horror as she remembered the tales her adopted father had told her. Tales he had in turn heard from his predecessors. Every so often officers had reported encounters with ghost like beings cloaked in a cloud of living dark mist. The beings were rumored to be responsible for the deaths of multiple people ranging from scientists, veterans, mafia, politicians, etc. They were seen near such crime scenes and even more shockingly appeared around several sites where suicides were committed. These beings were reportedly impervious to bullets and filled anyone who got near with an impending sense of dread. If Genocide was connected to them or somehow turning into one , there was little chance they would be able to defeat him. Gracia's fears were confirmed when she saw that Genocide's leather coat had been destroyed and he had replaced it with the dark mist coalescing from his own spilled blood. The dark mist, swirling, grew larger and several tendrils sprouted out from it. Gracia could briefly make out a figure standing next to Genocide. A hooded figure cloaked in the same black substance. The figure stared up at her with soulless, blackened eyes which seemed to beckon her to jump from the aircraft she was standing in. Compelling her to give in to the death that plagued the earth. Genocide kneeled to his master. The Shinigami, Masataka stared down at his disciple. "You have done a great service to us. Even now the sealed god stirs in its slumber. Its...Awakening will soon be upon us. It calls out for war. It begs for famine. It longs to continue its conquest. We are the death it so desires. The death that is necessary for this civilization to grow. Use the power that I have bestowed upon you. Finish the mission as you see fit." The Shinigami vanished and Genocide stood.Genocide stared at his hands. He remembered the first killing spree. He was on a bus. It stopped. A woman got on the bus and walked to the back smiling as she passed him. Something about her eyes unnerved him. They were so bright but something dark reflected inside them. He ignored the thought and put in his headphones. In minutes he had dozed off. He jumped awake. He looked around and froze in panic. All around him, everyone had been hacked to pieces. He saw the driver, actively being stabbed by a masked assailant. The mask, painted white with black eyeholes, stared back at him. It raised a finger over where its lips would be. Even under the expressionless visage, he could feel that same smile. He ran home that morning. He went to his room to find it destroyed. His posters, his computer, his tv, everything, had been ruined. He turned around and saw a man at the end of the hallway holding a sledge hammer. "The hell you been, boy?", his stepdad sneered. The man dropped his hammer and walked closer, veins pulsing with rage. He tried to explain how his car had caught fire forcing him to walk 4 miles to the nearest bus stop, but the man's fist was faster than his words. "Boy!Answer me when I talk to you!!" the man says as he backhands the taste out of the would be Genocide's mouth. He took that beating for several minutes before being left to stare at his ransacked room. He hated how his stepdad went out of his way to destroy the things he loved. Soon, another set of footsteps could be heard. It was his mother standing behind his locked door. She didn't knock, or say anything. She just stood there, doing nothing as always. He never knew if she came to talk to him or apologize. All he knew was that she could never bring herself to speak to or even acknowledge him. Maybe out of guilt or perhaps shame. A year or two later after he had had enough he ran away from home. Living out on the streets alone, without friends, or family, he would embark on countless killing sprees. These killings weren't of his own volition however. He was coerced by some corrupt officers from The Unit. They made him kill on their behalf. Sometimes they were protesters, sometimes they were drug dealers, other times, petty criminals they couldn't be bothered to process. It was routine for him to be used to kill entire houses of drug riddled addicts. During one such venture he entered a drug den, killing the dealer as instructed. He took out several junkies before turning to leave. A woman who survived her injuries clung to his heel begging him to stop. Looking down he aimed the handgun he was carrying at her head of long disheveled brown hair and fired. Feeling nothing, he kicked her body aside like trash when it hit him. Her face. This woman had been his mother. What was she doing in a place like this? He felt a shock of emotion. He wondered if she had always been like this, or had she changed after he left. He never made amends, but decided to stop killing from then on. The unit did not like that. Once it became apparent that he was no longer of use to them they started a manhunt to apprehend him with lethal force. They found him. They killed him. But he survived.
He remembered the girl on the bus. He remembered her eyes. Those of a sadistic killer. Still there was something else inside them. Something faint but deeper. So. Much. Sadness. Just like him. He felt the hatred begin to spread. His purpose, he decided, was to make all humans rot in the hell they created for him.
These people, he thought to himself, these living diseases, all needed to die. Their struggles, their problems, they spread like cancer to others. The only cure for humanity's sin, its collective wrongdoings, was genocide.
Around him, dark tendrils continued to form and expand, spinning in a vortex. Genocide pulled out two pistols. He squeezed the triggers to no effect. "As I see fit, huh? Hehe." He squeezed both guns in his hands, breaking them into pieces. He concentrated. In his hands, two more guns materialized now completely black due to being forged from the dark essence. Forged by his will. Immune to the jamming device that shut down conventional firearms. He raised his arms at each remaining helicopter and opened fire. Countless tendrils whipped out and slashed at his targets joining the dark essence bullets. It was chaos. Dark tendrils and bullets tore through every direction as Genocide spun and swirled around in 360 degrees firing randomly with purpose. A tendril pierced Gracia's right arm, another, her abdomen. She was however, fortunate, as the other passengers of her helicopter were dismembered. She barely had time to jump from the vehicle before it crashed. She fell 2 yards onto solid concrete. She felt immense pain as her right shoulder shattered on impact. She looked up to see Genocide's blade like appendages ripping through the other escape helicopters. She rolled onto her back and tried to steady herself. Within seconds her body began to repair itself. The nanocells inside her had saved her life but were now depleted. She would need another supplement lest she receive another fatal injury. The standard nanocells she and the others had were much less potent than those of the killers they faced. In truth, they had only minimal strength boosts being able to lift 5-8 more pounds than before and healing being limited to one or two fatal injuries so long as death didn't occur instantly. Gracia blacked out. She awoke the next morning in a hospital. There the doctors refilled her nanocells. She learned that the station had been left in ruins. Genocide had detonated some type of minature nuke following his rampage. He always blew up the stations as if to send a message. Gracia looked out the window thinking about why she became a cop. Twice her family had been murdered by them. Her biological family had been killed in an on record drug raid committed by a group of corrupt officers called The Unit. She had been adopted by another officer that arrived at the scene who found her as a child hiding in a closed. Sadly, he too was killed for trying to expose the activities of The Unit. Gracia joined the force to avenge both losses and bring justice to the killers that disguised themselves as normal people. Law enforcement was neither good, nor bad. It depended upon the people that made it up. In the dying corrupt world Gracia lived in, she vowed to be a beacon of light. Evans laid in a bed adjacent to Lary. "That damn Genocide's somethin else in' he?Like the stories you told us were understatements. That man could legit not die at this point in the story. Like he has friggin plot armor or somthin.'' Evans cut him off" I get it. We all got our asses handed to us. But did you see that ..thing that appeared next to him. Right before he created that black vortex that wiped us out. That must have something to do with his power. Maybe there's a still a way to stop him."Lary chimed in," That fella looked like he was on the way to a black metal concert wit all the black facepaint he was wearin' Creeped me out to be honest." As the survivors mulled over their predicament, the cycle of evil continued to spread elsewhere.
Budley flips through the pages of a magazine. He checks his watch. He looks around the gas station and doesn't see any customers. Seizing the opportunity, he puts in his headphones and begins playing an imaginary guitar as he jams to a progressive deathcore album. Oblivious to the screams coming from outside, the store clerk moves on to thumping two candy bars on the counter to simulate drums. Budley sees that his shift has ended and begins locking up the store. He sweeps the aisles and jumps as a shadow appears behind him. He turns and sees a well groomed bearded man dressed in a black hoodie, black shirt, and black and gray camo pants. The man holds out his hand and smiles. Budley rings up the pack of nicotine substitute gum. "Tryin to kick the habit huh?" Budley asks. The man replies, "Somethin like that. Gotta get my priorities back in check. Focus on the things that really matter. That damn KonCreep's a hell of a band aren't they?" He nods to the playlist on Budley's phone. "Yeah, they're killer. just got into them a month back." Budley answers. "You know, I'm something of a musician myself. Maybe you'll hear of me on the news someday." Jim Jimenez says as he sees himself out. He walks to the back of the building and passes an ominous form of graffiti. A woman lays unmoving and above her, written on concrete in red is a message that simply says "Genocide Reigns".

With all the new players entering the game as of late, a lot of the same questions get asked - specifically, ones like "How can I make the perfect team for classic/endless/etc.?". The guide ahead is an attempt at answering more common questions on the former end, from the perspective of someone who almost exclusively plays Classic and many wins under my belt in doing so. Community feedback welcome; hopefully something like this can expand into something like a wiki/full guide so we can help new players down the line, too!
Classic and You: Starting Out
So you just picked up the game, but not sure where to start. "Which starters are best?" "What team should I go with first?" "I unlocked [x] - can I beat Classic with this?"
Let me reassure you: you can beat Classic with anything. (Yes, even something like Caterpie.)
That said, it's understandable to not know where to start, especially if you don't know all the starters, or maybe haven't played all the various generations of Pokemon through the years. Many of them have their own strengths and weaknesses, and some are built stronger than others. For example: Fuecoco is commonly the #1 recommended starter out of the base selection you get when first starting the game. Why? His final evolution, Skeledirge, naturally learns Torch Song, which is a hard-hitting fire move that guarantees a Sp. Attack buff each time it hits. This lets you snowball fairly quickly, as each attack makes you stronger and stronger during battles. Many starters have "specialty" tricks like this that give them an edge - Sprigatito's final evolution, for instance, gets Flower Trick, a hard-hitting grass move that always crits (and therefore always ignores opponent defensive boosts and/or your own negative debuffs). Even with all these being the case, though, there's no "perfect" team to start with that will guarantee a win - and in fact, getting a win on your first run can be exceedingly difficult. Your starters all only have 10 IVs, neutral natures, and no egg moves - they're the bare bones minimum to get going. And that's okay. But it means you need to temper your expectations.
Pokerogue is a rogue-like - and in classic rogue-like form, you build upon what you start with little by little. Your primary goal shouldn't be to get a Classic win at the start. It's certainly doable, but even if you win, you're still likely without any reliable starter to take on Endless just yet, so there's no sense in rushing there. Instead, focus on that concept of building - specifically, building your starter pool. Every time you catch something, you unlock it as a starter (if you don't have it yet). You also get candies, which can be used to power up those starters by either unlocking a passive ability (unlocking additional features) or reducing their point cost, letting you bring more starters to each run (or more powerful ones!). Catching things with higher IVs also make your starting stats better - catching a 31 Speed IV Pidgey, for instance, means your Pidgey starter now permanently has 31 Speed IVs. More stats = more power, and getting higher IVs on your starters is probably the biggest early jump you can get on pushing your team further.
With this in mind, making a "perfect" team is less important than just making A team, so that we can go out and catch some things. As for what to catch, though, here's a list of things I'd keep an eye out for:

• Anything with a missing and/or "dark" pokeball under their name. Just like in some of the main Pokemon games, Pokemon in Pokerogue will be marked with a pokeball if they've been captured before. If it's missing, and you want it as a starter, catch it! More importantly, though, is the "darkened" icon of the pokeball - this indicates that you've unlocked the starter, but this one has something you don't have yet; maybe a gender, or maybe an ability you don't have yet. For instance, a Meowth starter that you have may only have Pickup, but the one in battle before you now has Technician. Catching these "darkened ball" pokemon will unlock more options for your starters, letting you switch between these unlockables at the pokemon select screen when you start your later runs. I generally recommend catching as many of these as possible - in the beginning, it'll seem like every pokemon has a dark ball, but that's because you don't have many things unlocked yet. As you unlock more things, they'll get rarer - and more importantly, when you start looking for those elusive Hidden Abilities (HAs), these darkened balls will help you discover them more easily when you have everything else already unlocked. Remember, this is a rogue-like - we're building our starters here for future runs!
• Anything "rare". This is somewhat subjective, because "rare" can mean anything from "hard to find" to "legendary". In general, though, I recommend keeping an eye out for things you don't see often - starters, for instance, or legendary/pseudo-legendary/ultra beast/etc. "boss" monsters at the end of every 10 waves. But catching duplicates serves a secondary purpose - remember, it also gets you candies, which you can use to power up those rare pokemon starters you have later. Getting candies from friendship is certainly doable, but especially for rarelegendary pokemon, this can take a loooooong while. Catch them if you can to make it easier on yourself later.
• Anything you plan on using a lot. Somewhat of another sub-point of the above, catching duplicates of things you know you'll use often can be useful for candy collection. Specifically, this works well for things you know you'll use often - your first few shinies, for instance, or general-use pokemon that have Pickup. Build your Zigzagoon army! Candy collecting is especially useful for these to reduce costs, letting you take more of them with your legendary into Endless mode when you get to that point.
• Any shiny. This goes without saying for many, but shinies are the lifeblood of Pokerogue. You need them...a lot of them. They come in three flavors - starting from the weakest, a yellow shiny (Luck 1), then blue (Luck 2), and finally red (Luck 3), with the color being the "star" marker of the shiny pokemon on their HP bar. Eventually you'll want as many Luck 3 shinies as you can get your hands on, but when you're starting out, you're building from 0 - so catch any you see, even if it means failing your Classic run to do so. A new run takes an hour to start back up; a new shiny could take days or even weeks to find in Classic. (Ideally, though, don't be afraid to refresh/"save scum" to try and find a way to catch it without sacrificing your run if you can, and if you're willing. No sense in wasting all that work.)
• Don't neglect your team. Remember, our eventual goal is to win Classic...but more importantly, we're hoping to get as far as we can, and 190 if possible. The sprint from 180-190 is the most profitable floor in Classic for egg vouchers, with each Elite 4 member & the Champion at 190 giving them upon victory (Plus, first time wins get you bonus achievement vouchers too - two for one!). With this in mind, you want to make sure to balance your team out as you go, and don't neglect it as you progress. Perhaps your team needs a good rock-type wall to throw in the way of hard-hitting trainer pokemon. Maybe you're looking for a Ground-type to soak all those electric moves you keep running into in the electrical biomes. Good team building will carry you further than any IV or egg move ever could. Even the strongest legendaries can fold to a weakness.

This "starting out" phase doesn't have a specific length of time to get past - everyone progresses at their own pace, and some will get luckier with egg pulls and catches than others. Don't get discouraged. Just keep building on what you have - that's your initial goal, and it only gets easier as you do it.
As you start going through your Classic runs, the main resource you're looking to accumulate at first is egg vouchers - as many as you can get your grubby little new player hands on. Beating gym leaders, Elite 4 members, the Champion, and beating Classic all reward you with them. Doing the Daily Run each day also rewards you with a 10x pull voucher. Rarely, they can even show up after beating a stage in the item choice rewards - if so, pick them, usually over most anything else. Eggs build on your starters, and usually with either massively boosted IVs or egg moves to give them considerable bumps in power. Rarely, you can even get shinies from them.
And speaking of the egg gacha: only pull from the Shiny gacha at first. The entirety of your goal as a new player should be accumulating shinies. The legendary gacha is misleading - you only get increased odds for the shown legendary, not all of them (at least as of this post), and even then legendaries often have a huge starter cost tacked onto them, making teambuilding difficult early on. Once you build up your starter collection with a good few handfuls of shinies, and are cruising along in Endless vacuuming up vouchers, you can spend some on the other gachas for specific niches if you like (move gacha for egg moves, legendary gacha for legendaries), but for the most part the shiny gacha is where the money's at. Besides, the shiny gacha can hatch legendaries, too - so you're not missing out on legendaries by not hitting its specific gacha.
I Got a Few Shinies And Legendaries - What Now?
Alright, so you've been cruising along, catching everything you see and building your starter pool like the rockstar rogue-like player you are. Keep building from here, but now you have more options - you can start bringing shinies on your Classic runs to improve the quality of item rewards you get at the end of each floor; you can maybe even bring a legendary/ultra beast along to have an easier time against the end boss and get that first win. At this point, if you haven't gotten that first win yet, now's the time to start knuckling down and making a serious go at it. Some general points of advice for Classic success I haven't yet covered:

• Early on, focus on 1-2 pokemon. Ignore the rest. Same advice as in Endless works here. This perhaps sounds counter-intuitive, but until at least floor 30-40, try your absolute hardest to only focus on leading with 1-2 pokemon (and that second one should ideally only be necessary to cover the weaknesses of the first). Your immediate early-game hurdles are the two rival battles at floors 8 and 25 (and maybe a Gym Leader battle at 20), and if you try to level everyone evenly you're going to find it harder to win. The Exp All and Exp Charms you get from rival battles and item rewards will more than catch your team up later even if you don't ever use them...so don't worry about them for now. Right now, you're creating the Ultimate Early Game Juggernaut(s) to get you through the initial hurdles.
• Be frugal with your money in the beginning. In Endless, it's common practice to reroll often to look for specific items - candy jars, rare candies, etc. That's because in that mode, once you get set up you have almost unlimited income. In Classic, your income is much more limited (usually hovering ~$100k or so by the mid to late floors), and you don't have the luxury of blindly rerolling for optimal results. The option to "save scum" your re-rolls exists, if you were willing - after winning a floor, check the rerolls, and if you don't like any of the offerings, refresh the page. This will "start the floor over", resetting the rewards and refunding your money. This isn't really necessary, though; in fact, I rarely reroll rewards at all until floors 180-200, and often settle with generic healing/item rewards. Why? You'll notice through your runs that in the midgame (floors 50-150, mainly), you'll accumulate quite a bit of gold; instead of using this gold for rerolls then, where it doesn't help much, you should instead wait for the later floors where you start to take on the toughest opponents of the run - the Elite 4 and Champion on floors 180-190, the final rival battle at 195, and the final boss at 200. Specifically, 180-190 is where you'll buy more healing items than perhaps the rest of the run combined (to keep your team healthy in between each Elite 4/Champion battle), and 190-200 are where you really want to look for things like X [stat] items to give your team that extra "oomph". Even the strongest legendaries fear a Butterfree packing +4 X Specials and an X Speed. Money saved early on lets you dump it into rerolls later where it matters most. (Don't ruin your run by being *too* frugal, though - if your party is near death early on, spend it. You can't spend it later on if you're dead.)
• Pickup is NOT necessary (but it is helpful). I see a lot of general advice in posts on pokerogue that tell new players to stack Pickup team members on Classic. This isn't necessary, or even arguably desirable past maybe the first 20-30 floors unless you're running a very strong carry that can solo all 200 floors (which is extremely unlikely, and far more difficult to boot). I've won Classic many times without using Pickup at all, and I can't say as I miss it when I don't have it. More importantly, you need to be cautious which items you're picking up - the end boss can and WILL use them against you, so things like Sitrus/Enigma/stat boosting berries that you picked up along your 200 floors suddenly seem a lot less useful when they're in enemy hands. That said, if you bring someone along with Pickup, be generous with handing out berries and other items to your party regularly using the "Transfer" option, so you can reap the benefits all throughout your 200 floors. Sitrus, Enigma, and the speed/attack boosting berries in particular are great in trainerival battles where you expect to take hits and want to revenge kill things. In the endgame against the final boss, though, perhaps load everything on a party member you hope never to bring out (such as your Pickup mon) so they don't get stolen. (Hot take: I prefer to use no berries at all in my Classic runs if possible, with one exception: Lum! Lum is amazing for healing status effects, especially when it feels like some trainers have all the hacks against you, and it doesn't feel bad if/when it gets stolen later.)
• The same goes for Pokerus. The biggest advantage to having pokerus is capping out your levels faster; even without it, in the later floors you'll still cap your levels by each final stage so long as you pick up a charm or two along the way (which you'll usually do, pokerus or not). It's also a decent help for that floor 11-25 range where you're at your weakest and that second rival challenge comes knocking. In Endless it's common practice to take a pokerus pokemon so your carry can keep up with the level gains of the floors until you get fully set up; in Classic, the scaling doesn't feel nearly that punishing. If you can bring a good pokerus pokemon, though, it's more helpful than not - just don't go out of your way for it or feel like it's "necessary".
• Understand how biomes work, at least somewhat. Many of them chain into each other naturally, which is part of where the memes come from regarding "endless water biomes" or similar. As you start to expand your starting 2-3 into a full 6, know what biomes you need to look for and what to avoid. This is part of why the Map is one of my favorite item rewards to pick early on - it lets you target farm the remaining members of your team much easier, and towards the last 50-80 floors you can choose the easier ones to coast through while you finish building your team. In particular, routes you need to keep in mind:
  • You always start in "Town" and move into "Plains"; this is 100% guaranteed in every Classic run. This means the first 20 floors are always weighted heavily to normal- and grass-types. When building your starting team, it's helpful to keep this in mind - for instance, picking up things strong against these two types (shoutout to Flamigo/Hawlucha!) and maybe not bringing a grass type knowing that you're likely to catch one early on if you're desperate for filler.
  • "Metropolis" vs. "Lake" vs. "Grass": Moving out of Plains, these are your three options available if you have the Map by now. The biome you leave Plains for is the biggest observation you can make for your run - it will dictate how you form the rest of your team as you progress into the midgame. If you get diverted to Lake, but need an Electric-type (for instance), you need to find a way to get the map to divert to "Construction Site" or loop back to Plains, or you may be hard pressed to find an Electric-type at all in your entire run. The same goes for Fairy- and Steel-types - "Fairy Cave", the biome with the largest quantity of fairy types, is only accessible through "Meadows", which requires you to go through the forest biomes first. If you're not looking like you're going through those areas, you'll need to be less picky about what fairy-types you come across if you hope to snag one. (I recommend visiting the wiki for their nice little flowchart diagram if you ever want a more nuanced look into each path and where they can potentially lead, along with what spawns in each.)
• Build a well-rounded team. Building mono-type teams is cute, but ultimately extra work. Focus on coverage and being able to handle anything that comes along - remember, the last floors feature a variety of Elite 4 members and the Champion, all of which will require a varied approach on what types of Pokemon to bring for best results. By floor 100, you should either have most of your team set or a plan to fill the rest out by the time you reach ~170. By 180 it's likely too late (with the exception of maybe getting a last Mushroom or TM to fill out a moveset).