Commonly misspelled words in elementary

I finished my first year of comp sci after taking a gap year. I did terrible in my two introductory coding classes my mental health was bad which didn’t help. Like from elementary to HS I got straight A’s and in uni I got B’s and mainly C’s I think the gap year did not help my study habits. I’m unsure if I want to continue with this major I mean I never coded before but I liked the idea of getting paid well and potentially working remote and traveling.
The thing is I picked this major but I’m not sure what type of jobs there are out there like what they do on a daily basis. My other option would be to do something in the medical field but I’m not sure. I am not in debt at the moment so that’s good at least. I did enjoy some aspects of coding like how you are able to create anything you want like video games etc but I am feeling really behind already. I think I was overwhelmed too and could not focus on coding since I was taking 3 labs total each semester. I don’t know if I can picture myself staring at a computer screen for work everyday. However, making money and having job stability is very important to me. Any advice would be helpful also I apologize because this must be a common problem.

This poem is about having a crush. It intentionally lacks logic and sometimes solid structure, mirroring the chaotic nature of love. Thats not a bug, that's a feature. 🙃 ***
Water
What is it about you? So strange, something that demolishes life’s routine, tears apart the pact with old age, and shuns unnatural grace?
What is it about you? So dangerous, that even love must treat with care; even under bullets and at sharp edges, doubts never linger here.
You are like water, living or dead, Clear, cold, and bitter indeed. You are the spring, open and free, Holy, endless, and so distant.
What is it about you? So sorrowful that words and lines cannot contain, suddenly tearing my heart, lifting me above the blue abyss.
What is it about you? So absurd, that common sense cannot grasp, shared faith finds no ground. The flame of doubt burns my soul.
What in you stems from eternity, and what from helplessness? Who will trace your inspiration's bounds? Who will ever understand your nature, Or who will be the one to write your date of birth and death together?
Who will ever be with you?

Do I need help?

 That’s a question I have been asking myself for a bit now. Trying to figure out my own feelings, and the why behind them has proven to be more difficult then I thought. I am trying something new today. I’m going to start putting my thoughts and feelings into words, because at this point I’m begging for something to work. So here is what my mind has been obsessing over for the past couple of days. So, an old friend recently got back in touch with me, her name is ******, and she was a really, really good friend, but something’s happened and we had stop talking for about 3 years. I will admit, I did use to like her, not a head over heels like, but a casual like. Now she reached out to me and we started texting and called like twice so far. I forgot how many traits and things we have in common. They are things I can’t find in other people, like the obsession with movies, Disney, puzzles, fantasy shows. To be honest, before writing that last sentence I thought there was a lot more, but that’s beside the point. The amount of joy it brings me to talk and text her is absurd. The dilemma is that for no reason at all, I think I’ve attached my emotional state to her. I could be in the happiest mood, but is she doesn’t text or can’t call it puts me in a slump. Which makes no sense. We only started talking again like three days ago. It annoys me so much on how I can’t control my own emotions, and that it depends on other people, I can’t stop thinking of her, I would think it’s a crush, but how is that possible, I barley know her, sure I knew her back then, but she’s most likely changed even if it’s a bit. Am I desperate, confused, sad, I don’t know what to call it. I feel pathetic, stupid even. Now, I’ve been struggling with my feelings even before she started texting me again, it was kinda like fuel to the fire. I would get extremely sad pretty often, and I would use the gym or video games for a distraction. I don’t know what it is, could be a number of things, too many to list. I thought maybe being aware of the things that could make me sad would help, but it doesn’t. I’m hurting and I can’t isolate the cause of it. Now I don’t know what to write anymore.My problems seems so minuscule comparably to other people’s. I don’t think writing all this really accomplished anything. Maybe I’ll post it somewhere or show someone to seek advice. I wonder if this will just all blow over, or if the answer to my question in the title is yes. 

Class 6th and I had a crush on this girl. One of the most beautiful girl of our school. Every guy had a crush on her and I had no f chance beacuse of my shy and introverted nature. But her friend was a good friend of mine so all the time I used to ask her to help me get our convo started (in a fun way) but that never happened and we passed out of school.
(Since we were class mates so we did had a lot of friends in common so there was never a direct convo but we did know each other)
After school I studied for another 3 years in college got few friends and one of them had a gf who was her best friend. So we went to a party and thats where I met her for the first time and actually talked to her for the first time in 9-10 years. Trust me when I say this that was the best night of my life. We both danced all night since we both were single and there were other 2 couples.
Thats where it all started. we started talking and in a month covid came there was lockdown nothing to do and we both hit so well that we got ourselves engaged into each other all day and all night for hours and hours laughing at each other doing random stuff whole 2020.
(We had everything in common, we used to laugh a lot prolly same sense of humour, similar nature, similar taste in everything it was like we were meant to be. We got so attached and habitual of each other)
(We are 22yo) 2021, Covid ended and her father started forcing her to get married even took her to meet a guy where she said no beacause we were so close and the night before her going to meet that guy we were talking and I said her that 'our story didn't even start and it's ending' and next day she said no to him came back all happy and within a week we got into relationship. It was our first relationship ever.
(She had zero sense about how a relation works, so I groomed her in every aspect of life and she groomed me where i lacked. This went till the very end)
After getting into relationship I realised she belongs to a pretty good family and I'm from an upper middle class family and to make our marriage possible I had to become something and that's when I started. I left my Music Production career since I needed a legit business. (Didn't wanted to get into father's business) I worked everyday every hour under so many different businesses so that i could build one of mine just so we could marry.
Days went by we got closer every passing day and we did use to fight a lot too but never for long. We were like perfect. We had like everything needed for 2 people to keep in love. We were so much addicted to each other. (In a mature way ofc nothing kiddish)
2023 came and his whole family started building pressure on her for marriage. Every day they got her a new bio of a guy arranged meethings every weekend. Some how jan passed and in feb i started sensing she was in so much pressure that she couldn't keep up and started breaking. On 7th I asked her whats wrong and she didn't wanted to continue bcs she can't streatch all this anymore. That night I asked her we will talk tomorrow and will end it in a better way. Next night I asked her to forget all the worries and everything and just talk like a normal day which was hard for both of us but we tried and talked all night laughing and remembering all our happy moments.
Her last words to me were: 'Today 80% of me is you and only 20% is what i used to be, without you I wouldn't ever have been able to understand what love is and how to deal with it since I thought I will never be in love with anyone'
In 2 days of breakup she said yes to a guy and got engaged and in 4 months married him.
Its been a full f year of her marriage and here I am still trying to get over everything.
I just wanted to share this w someone since it felt like a burden on my chest keeping all this to me now. I don't feel like talking to friends about this anymore.
I just can't get over her i dont even find anyone attractive anymore its like no girl can take her place for me. We were happy is all i can remember.
PS - I related a lot with the movie Rockstar since maine dekhi hui thi usne dhang se nai, in 3 years of relation we saw 100s of movies together but we never got to watch that movie since we planned to watch it together next to each other but that day never came. Even on the last day we talked about this that we couldn't watch it. And recently I went to watch it in cinema and all these emotions are erupting and I'm not in control anymore which I've been in. It's like i wounded myself again which I've been trying so hard to heal.

A quick few notes:

• Currently working fast food, with most business done through an in-person queue.
  
• It should be noted it is a big chain company, my manager is in charge of the shop but is not directly involved in overall operations such as hiring.
  
• I imagine most managers act like this, especially in fast food, and this matter isn't that big of a deal but it is becoming a ware.
  

TOPIC: Essentially there's a 'damned if you, damned if you don't' around the store. This is making employees, including myself, be hesitant to do anything because he (the manager) will shout 'why are you doing that when there's a queue' or if you haven't done it (because of the queue) 'why hasn't this been done, I shouldn't have to keep telling you'.
He has these reactions in front of the customers, regulars will even roll their eyes and have a laugh with you about how he is off on one again.
I think his snapping at employees, where there is no winning, is getting old and want to speak to him about it, however, from previous attempts (my favourite was when he started shouting about who turned the heater on and we pointed out it was him, this kind of thing is also common) he says to stop with the attitude then proceeds to give me the silent treatment.
If the next time he starts to complain about something and I mention I want a word with him, which I think would go like below, what is the likely outcome and could I lose my job? :... - Hey, can I have a word with you? - I understand that these things need doing but when there's never a gap in the queue it's kind of hard - It only takes a few seconds so when the queue is very small is when I try to slip out and do it, but it is embarrassing then when you shout at me in front of the customers for doing it - It's confusing to know what to do when you get a telling off for doing something and then since you don't do it again you get the same for not doing it which is just unnecessary causing stress
TLDR: manager is hypocritical in his expectations, will shout at you for doing something then complain next time when it isn't done. If I try to have a word with him to explain how it's just tiring and stressful now, what should I expect the outcome to be?

I found this sub a couple days ago looking for, well, something like it. I’ve been dealing with two types of loneliness for now many years. I’ve got a lot in my life I really should be grateful for, such as a good career where I’ll be able to retire early and do the things I really love (making music) but all that outward facing success covers a growing sense of desperation. I just turned 50 last week (no coincidence) and while I’m in great health and feel great physically, the head and the heart are aching.
I’ve had to come to terms with some rough stuff lately, and also spend some time to be introspective about how much time has passed and how much I’ve missed out because my wife and I are just friends. We have very little in common and we both didn’t know how to face this. So, we carried on pretending to an extent. We haven’t kissed for years. Sex, which always felt like something done as a favor has been pretty stale. And now non-existent.
There’s no passion. There’s no intimacy.
In other words, I’ve never known love. And I have to accept I probably never will. I have a great capacity to love, but the tank will remain full and never spent. The kind of love I used to daydream about and long for as a younger man has escaped.
I tried to tell myself that sex was just a bonus. But having denied myself what I needed for so long, I realize that was just me protecting my psyche. Failing, but trying.
I think it’s an important part of a modern, healthy, relationship. Being robbed of that for years goes hand in hand with missing out on the experience of love. I used to separate them, but they’re connected.
And now I’m lost. A loveless existence with not much of a fix to look forward to. Perhaps if some circumstances were different I’d be able try again, but in reality my future is going to be as a caregiver.
The only thing I can do is insert facsimiles of these feelings into the mix. I know it sounds selfish and unhealthy; but you’d have to truly understand the full picture before judging too harshly. I don’t think anyone should miss out on this part of life - love, intimacy. My wife is my friend and “colleague” in the every day affairs of life, but that’s where it ends. And eventually I’ll lose that too.
You’ll have to pardon me. The writing helps me think through and cope with everything going on.
So, what do you think about the role of sex in a lasting relationship?
Critical? Take it or leave it? Meh. It’s just a passing rush of endorphins?
Do you think it can be healthy to fill voids with online friends? Do you think it’s cheating to have clandestine online friends?
(I ask you kindly not to judge! I have not done these thing . There are extenuating circumstances that are delicate. )

I have been going out clubbing on girls night about once a month, and it morphed into me sitting on the couch while my friends flirted and made out with guys. I would talk to the 'spare' guy, but absolutely no flirting, kissing or touching.
I know two of the girls in the group from uni, and the rest of the girls are friends of friends. We would go clubbing (where I live has quite the night life, and my city is a bit of a tourist destination, so it's always busy), have a few drinks and dance, then head home. The last few times I went with them (I usually only go once a month, but most of them seem to go every week, or even twice a week), my friends have been meeting guys rather than just dancing, and then going back to someone's place to flirt and make out. One of the group, who I have dubbed Barracuda (she honestly scares me and totally gives off that vibe) lives with her bf, but when he was away for work was when the girls would invite guys back to her house. Barracuda has been doing a lot of flirting with the guys who come back with our group, and more than once she has gone to one of the bedrooms with a guy for an hour or so. I'm honestly a bit naive and always assume the best of people, but even I'm guessing she has cheated on her boyfriend. She doesn't kiss or make out with anyone in the public areas of the house where I can see, but what else would they be doing in a bedroom for that long?
It gets a little worse. My girl friends never wanted me to bring along my fiancé, because he'll "cramp their style" for what's basically become making out with guys. I get pretty bored sitting around waiting for my friends to finish flirting or kissing these guys, so I would sometimes sit and talk with the 'spare' guy who wasn't paired up with one of my friends. I felt super guilty about hanging out with these guys when my fiancé is waiting for me at home, but I also feel guilty about leaving these guys sitting there waiting on their friends. I never flirt or touch them or kiss them, but the thought of my handsome, kind, generous fiancé sitting at home while I'm chatting to guys had me twisted up with guilt. I don't know exactly how I got into this situation, but my fiancé has gently pointed out to me a couple of times that I can be a bit of a people pleaser, so there's that. 🥲
So based on many comments on my first two posts, and some hard thought on my end, I decided to claim I was busy (not hard since we are part-way through my exam block for uni) and not attend the next girls night, until I could figure out how to tell my fiancé what was going on. In my last two posts, I got some good advice on how to broach the topic, so I was just figuring out the best one to suit me.
I told my fiancé that I wasn't going out for girl's night this weekend because some of the girls made me uncomfortable, but he just nodded and didn't say anything, staring off into the distance. I was kinda bummed because I was hoping that would prompt some questions which would lead to a conversation in a natural way. I tried again by telling him I was cutting contact with the girl group, but he didn't really react to that either.
Frankly, he seemed kind of out of it all week, really distracted and giving short answers, staring off into the distance a lot. He hadn't rejected me when I hugged him or snuggled or kissed, but he never initiated this last week, which isn't normal. I figured he was stressed from work, but his behaviour kinda weirded me out.
Come the night of girls night, I was sitting in the lounge room watching some reality TV (trashy, I know, but I was really on edge and needed a distraction) and idly going through my notes for my upcoming exams. My fiancé had been in his study all day (catching up on work even though it was a Saturday) when he finally emerged. He stopped dead, his expression surprised, and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was waiting for him to finish work so we could spend some time together. He got this really weird expression on his face, and didn't seem to know what to say. I reminded him that I had decided not to go to the girls night out, and had told him earlier in the week. He still didn't seem to know what to say, and didn't ask any questions.
Eventually, he told me that a friend of his needed some help, and he'd be gone a few hours. I asked if he'd like me to come, and I swear his face got an almost terrified expression on it. I told him I could change if he needed me to (I was dressed in some jeans and a t-shirt), but he said it would be best if I didn't get involved. Which was a super weird thing to say, but this week has been super weird all up. He then left, and I took the opportunity to finish writing my thoughts out and prepare for how to tell him. An hour or so after my fiancé left, I started getting weird text messages from a couple of my girl friends. Apparently, Barracudas bf came back in a surprise visit, and caught her red-handed. I got some accusatory text messages asking if I set her up or something. I texted back for more details, but then I think I got blocked.
At first, I thought I was lucky I hadn't been there, but it gets more complicated.
My fiancé came home around midnight, and I rushed to the door to give him a hug and let him know what was going on with my girl friends (at least what I could figure out). But he held me at arms length, which really hurt. I asked what the hell was going on, in a fairly straightforward manner (not usual for me), and he looked startled, but asked me to come with him to the lounge room. We sat down, and he dispassionately told me about Barracudas bf installing a door cam, and figuring out his gf was cheating on him. He'd planned to catch her in the act by pretending to fly to work the day before and stay in a hotel, but he also contacted my fiancé since I was the only other attached girl in the situation. My fiancé planned to turn up and catch me in the act if I was cheating as well.
At this point, I burst into tears because I don't handle confrontation well, and I couldn't get any words out between sobs. I was an absolute mess - this wasn't a couple of tears and glimmering eyes like in the movies. It was an ugly cry with snot and my entire face blotchy. I couldn't explain myself and just shoved the paper I'd been writing my thoughts out on at him while blubbering incoherently.
He found me a box of tissues, and I tried to clean myself up while he read through my somewhat disjointed notes. In the end, he asked me point blank if I had ever cheated on him, and I remember shaking my head vehemently, and trying to deny it through tears. He nodded, saying some of my girl friends there that night has vouched for me, though they seemed convinced I had ratted Barracuda out to her bf. He asked me if I had known what Barracuda was up to, and my tears had subsided enough that I was able to explain that I suspected what she was up to, but hadn't seen anything myself.
He rolled his eyes at that, looking exasperated, and asked me what would anyone think at that point. I started crying again, but managed to get out that I hadn't felt it was any of my business, but that I had wanted to tell him, and that's why I had drafted the notes.
My fiancé raised his voice at this, and started shouting about how he would want to know if he was being cheated on, and people who know about cheating and don't say anything are almost as bad as cheaters. His voice was still loud as he told me he was really angry at my lack of boundaries, and staying there to talk to guys had violated his trust. I was shocked at this point. My normally quietly assertive fiancé was shouting, and I couldn't recall that ever happening before. Sure, we'd had some arguments in three years of dating, but we rarely even raised our voices and always kept things civil. This time, his jaw was clenched and veins were standing out in his neck and forehead. His eyes were wild, and I admit I got this little tingle of attraction that I couldn't explain. I should have felt worried because I'd never seen him so angry, but I still felt totally safe with him.
He calmed himself down pretty quickly, and I thought maybe we'd start sorting things out. But then he looked at me, and it was really sad, combined with some betrayal and a tiny bit of contempt. He'd never looked at me like that before, and suddenly I knew we were NOT okay. I started sobbing again, and he told me he was sleeping in the guest room, and we'd talk more in the morning.
I honestly think I was still in shock and reacting slowly, because before I knew it, my fiancé had collected his pillow and phone charger, and the guest room door was locked. I pounded on the door a bit, and begged him to talk to me, but he ignored me. I eventually went to sleep in our usual bed, wearing his favourite hoodie that smelled like him. In the morning, my fiancé was waiting for me in the kitchen/informal dining area.
He told me that I had broken his trust by hanging out 1-on-1 with guys instead of having him there, and not reporting what was happening in terms of cheating. What really sucks is that he wasn't even a tiny bit wrong. I know that now, and my guilt earlier kinda told me I knew earlier as well. I apologised profusely, saying I would never do anything like that ever again. I asked him what I could do to earn his trust back, and his answer had me flabbergasted. He said I needed to move out, "get my crap together", get some counselling, and build better boundaries. After that, he might be able to trust me again, when he'd seen that I'd made some big changes, but it wasn't an automatic thing, and we might not get back together.
I felt like I was in an alternate universe. I managed to stammer out that I didn't have money for counselling, or enough to pay for food, petrol, and bills, let alone rent. Couldn't I stay here and make it up to him?
He refused, saying I needed to move out on my own and go to counselling. That it would be an important first step in building some proper boundaries. I burst into tears again at this point, and begged him not to break up with me and kick me out, that I loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he loved me too, but it hurt to look at me right now, and he needed space.
It took me a couple of minutes to calm myself down. Once I could talk coherently again, I told him I understood, and wanted to give him that space, but I had nowhere to go. I know there's a worldwide housing crisis, and many fellow Redditors will be familiar with the problem of finding housing. Where I live, it's a common practice to outbid others on rent by simply offering to pay more. Apparently, there's some legislation coming soon to my state to fix that, but it sure ain't here now, and finding affordable housing at short notice is practically impossible. I am also halfway through my exam block (which I've been studying hard for, but still have two exams left), and this was going to be incredibly disruptive to my studies. Honestly, I was trying not to hyperventilate - my fiancé was breaking up with me, I had to move out with zero notice, couldn't think of anywhere to live, I was halfway through super stressful exams for my Masters, and I wouldn't be able to pick up more work shifts with my current study load for at least another week.
My fiancé said he'd organised some short term accommodation for me, and I needed to pack some bags. I was in shock. He walked to the bedroom and pulled out my suitcases as I followed him on autopilot, then we packed almost silently together. It was the most surreal feeling as I watched most of my belongings make their way into my luggage. I realised just how much my fiancé had bought for me over the three years we were together - clothing, shoes, make-up. My phone and laptop had been gifts, as he wanted me to have the best to do well at uni. He'd bought me entire outfits so I could feel beautiful while helping him schmooze at his business parties. My smart watch, that I really only wore at the gym. Some noise cancelling headphones so I could focus on uni assignments and exam prep. He'd even bought me the luggage we were packing in, for a couple of overseas holidays we'd gone on over the years. I managed to sneak his pillow in place of mine, and I was still wearing his hoodie from sleeping in it.
Before I knew it, all my stuff was in the backseat of my little hatchback, and he took one look at me and said he'd drive me to the temporary accommodation. He gently pushed me in the passenger side and did up my seatbelt, then got in the driver's side and started driving. He drove north a few suburbs, getting closer to my university, and pulled into some underground parking for high rise apartment buildings. He parked, we got some of my luggage out, and took the lift without saying a word. I was still trying to process everything, but suddenly realised I was about to lose my perfect fiancé over stupidly keeping my mouth shut when I shouldn't have. I managed to get my arms around him, and clung on like a baby koala and wouldn't let go. I was blubbering that I loved him and would do anything, even wearing all the lingerie he had bought for me. 🫣 He was blushing at that, but managed to push my luggage out of the lift, and then lumbered down the hallway with me clinging on him with both my arms and legs wrapped around him. A family with young children was coming out of their apartment and saw us, watching shocked as I clung to him, blubbering and making wild promises of all the things I would do to him in bed, as he tried to open the door to my temporary accommodation. He got it open, and then the husband of the little family helped him get all the luggage from the lift and inside the door as I continued crying and begging him not to break up with me. He thanked the man, then got the door closed, and waddled with me into the bedroom. We flopped back onto the bed together, and I started kissing his neck and giving the little nibbles he likes on his neck and ears, although the effect was kinda ruined as I'd been crying a lot, and was snotty again at this point. He got me some tissues from the night-stand next to the bed, and I cleaned up, but still had my legs locked around his waist. He managed to disentangle me, then stood up. I was about to grab him again, but his face was kinda cold, and I shrank back, feeling humiliated.
He asked for the engagement ring back, and the waterworks started again as I struggled to get the ring off my finger with shaking hands. I managed it, then threw it at him in a pique of anger. That beautiful diamond and white gold ring hit him in the chest, but he just caught it on the rebound, and it didn't even hurt the heartless man at all. He said he'd text me all the details I'd need for where I'm now staying, and that I should reach out to my work to see if I could get more shifts to make ends meet. I was just getting angry at this point, and told him to get lost. And with that, he left, the door banging shut behind him.
It's mid-afternoon, and so much has gone down in such a short time. The entire course of my life has changed in what amounted to one evening and a morning. Less than 24 hours. I'm sitting on the tiny balcony that this one bedroom apartment has, huddled in my ex-fiancé's hoodie to keep warm from the stiff sea breeze, about ten floors up and looking out at the blue-grey sea. True to his word, he texted me the address of where I'm staying, details on how to pay the rent and bills (he was careful to say twice that I didn't need to pay any rent for the next two weeks due to my studies), details on the included parking space and the code for the parking lot gate. He must have got all this ready during the week leading up the night I'm now referring to as 'Operation Barracuda'. No wonder he was standoffish.
Ugh, I can't start crying again. My eyes hurt, but my heart hurts more. I just completely blew up my life with some lies of omission, and destroyed my ex-fiancé's trust in me. At least I have a counselling session to look forward to. He texted me the details of my first session, which he carefully booked around my uni classes and exams. He said the first dozen sessions are already paid for. He's broken up with me, but still looking after me. Dammit, I'm crying again.
So, Reddit, is it really over with my ex-fiancé? Is there anything I can do to get back together with him, or is it truly over? I know I need to focus on my studies, especially since I'm partway through my exam block, and I need to pick up a lot more work shifts when my vacay starts in mid-June. I have counselling lined up. What else should I be focused on? What pieces of my life do I try and pick up? Do you think there's anything constructive I can do with my ex-fiancé?
TL;DR I had been going out clubbing on girls night about once a month, and it morphed into me sitting on the couch while my friends flirted and made out with guys. I would talk to the 'spare' guy, but absolutely no flirting, kissing or touching. My fiancé found out from another girls bf, who was being cheated on. I had hesitated to tell my fiancé about it, as I had previously felt it wasn't any of my business. I had plans to tell my fiancé, but he found out first, felt I had poor boundaries, then broke up with me and kicked me out with less than a day's notice.

Using a throwaway for this one.. it's a meds question, but there is som back story.. sorry in advance- it's long.
Background:
I am 32 (F) and just stuck in the middle of a rock and a hard place here..
Psychiatrists where I am from are pretty hard to get into, if the books are even open, the wait is like 8 plus months- if lucky. The price is also outside of my budget, so I have historically just dealt with my issues and went with the public system options that have been available and free to me in the past when it feels like its getting out of hand.
In total, I have seen 4 different psychiatrists - who have all had differing opinions and diagnosed me slightly differently... collectively, I have been diagnosed/rediagnosed with the following:

• depression
• anxiety
• ocd
• bipolar 2
• eating disorder unspecified
• borderline personality disorder
• cyclothymia

With psychologist indication of potential: - adhd - Premenstrual dysphoric disorder - ptsd
Surely I do not have this many conditions - but i suppose when I do see a psychiatrist next i will chat to them .. again...(I am currently on the public waitlist - which will takes months for a singular diagnose and discharge appt).
Medication concerns:
Fast forward to my real question, meds. At least 2 of the psychs advised me to start lamotrigine with a goal of 200mg.
I am very reluctant to try any meds because I did try 2 SSRIs which gave me some pretty immediate and scary side effects... on 30mg citalopram (one dosage), I became extremely anxious, was crying uncontrollable, unable to walk properly and just very not okay. Dr advised not to take more... then I tried fluoxetine 10mg some years later.. after one dose, I felt real groggy, day went okay and then I went to sleep... only to have myself shoot upright awake from sleep then feel very bizarre in my own thoughts.. like I could view my thoughts happening, and sort of see them so to speak.. but I could not control these thoughts and then I wasn't sure if I wanted to help people... sooo that was horrible, and I had a family member come stay with me for that one... I have never had that before and never since...
Back to the lamotrigine, the psychs told me this was what I should have been taking because apparently I havea mood disorder, which the SSRIs won't help and can make worse (their words) so that's why those meds were never helpful to me...
I finally bit the bullet and got up to 150mg on lamotrigine.... I feel like its helped but I have plateaued and starting to feel mood swings coming back through.. I tried to up to 175 and for a week of it, I felt marked increase in suicidal ideation.. which I linked to the meds and dropped back down to 150mg - then within 24hrs these thoughts disappeared.
I think I have hit the sweet spot for lamo and might need to add something else. My GP has given me some seroquel ages ago - but he just does what my psych says... and because I do not have a psych, and no one is monitoring my medications - I don't know what to do here.
I feel like I fall into that area of not too bad mental health, like I can function... but then sometimes I can feel my mind "losing it" and that I am mentally "unwell" at times... which I think is why I am falling through the cracks a bit here.
I have this seroquel and my GP says that I could take it if I felt I needed to... but that's very ambiguous to me and they also said it can be addictive.... and I also do not feel 100% comfy just willy nilly taking pills without any dr actually seeing me and properly lining up the treatment to an actual set diagnosis...
I guess my questions really are:

1. Is seroquel and lamotrogine a common combo
2. Are these meds safe long term?
3. Is bipolar or cyclothymia something you can go off meds after being stable for a while and then just not need meds?
4. Does the combo of diagnosis I have been given seem even feasible? Surely I cannot have all those..

I will obviously discuss with my psychiatrist when I see them - but I am just feeling a little lost...
I called the public health place for next steps, as I am having more mood related episodes, and they said I can have my name placed on the list with months and months of waiting... and in the interim, I can see my gp who will call the psych for a temporary med adjustment... but I am nervous, because they don't seem to know what I am even being treated for - definitively...
Please note:
The last psychiatrist I saw from the public health place (that the gp will get advice from) said I have cyclothymia, downgraded from bipolar 2... this same psychiatrist also breached my brothers patient dr confidentiality by telling me his personal diagnosis and health info (which he had not shared with me) - while also saying that I should not openly tell people I have any mental health conditions as I will be discriminated against work wise - which is when she also threw out half my other diagnosis - in what felt like an attempt to make me more employable, by disregarding the full extent of my potential mental health. Understandably (I think), I do not trust this psychiatrist to prescribe medications to me.

Me: Male, 14 yo GF: Female, 15 yo
We're 2 months apart in age if you're wondering. Also this is both out first relationship.
Its a tuesday and we're chilling and talking and overal enjoying our time togather but some stuff came up and i had to go but she told me she wanted to give me a kiss before i left so im like "I dont mind." but then she told me she wasn't sure bc she's kinda nervouse. So im like its ok we dont have to its up to you, she contiplating and im just comforting her saying "Its ok its up to you, you dont have to if you dont want to" but then she makes up her mind, we end up sharing our first kiss. We both say "Good bye, love you" but, i saw a face of shock and I asked her if she was ok like 3 times she said she was ok. Then I get home i text her "hey you wanna go on call" and she says "no my phone is on low battary. I'll talk to you tomorrow". Im confused because usualy she would just put her phone on the charger and we'd talk on face time and so, im just really confused and worried &, she tells me not to stress out and she'll talk to me at the end of school. which is the last day of school.
Durring the middle of class she texts me "i’m sorry i mistook my feelings with my respect for you. You, though, are in deep fucking shit with me. I want you to read this and read it clearly, am i fucking understood? how the fuck did i reject you over 5 times and still found myself in a relationship with you. I tried to politely avoid this. POLITELY. I set my boundaries and based on how i talked it over with miles yesterday, you seemed to have worded and felt your way around my boundaries". Now ik ik 5 times is wild but heres the contex.
I came up to her and i instoduced myself and we start talking we have a lot in common so then after 1 month i ask her does she wanna date she says "No because im not ready for a relationship & I want to focus on school" I took the L and respected her decision but i kept talking to her because she was a cool person and I saw her as a friend. Then we started going on 4-8 hour face time calls and we start flirting and a whole 2 months goes by and then im like "I dont wanna sound stupid but, are we dating now because we kinda doing early relationship things? Its not really friend things anymore.." and we start talking about more relationship things more frequently. A whole nother 2 weeks go by with me asking generaly the same question then she thinks about it, then boom we're bf gf.
ANYWAYS.. phew, back to the end of school text. I ask her "When did I cross your boudaries?". She says "When you didn't leave me alone, Thats when you crossed a boundary. i told you so many times that i’m not ready for a relationship, yet still i found myself with you. That kiss made me realize that this shit is so fucked up. you don’t like me, you like what i have to offer. If you really liked me, you would’ve left me the fuck alone the first time i told rejected you polietly. this isn’t gonna work out.". But she never told me stop talking to me, out of curiosity I even asked her did i ever annoy her when i talk to her, I didn't try to push this to be in a relationship shes the one who gave the green light so we can be in a relationship.
At this point im just trying to disect what went wrong bc everything was going well, then all this happend. After she texts me this news. She blockes me on everything. She told me to leave her the fuck alone or else shes gonna beat me into a bloody pulp. So at this point im bumbed out & just confused. I emailed and texted her a whole apology and explanation after i reflected on the situation. Idk if she has saw my text or email. but all i want to do is get back with her because i really love her to the stars galaxys and back, and I believe she just freaked out and made assumtions.
What should I do & how could i get her back, cause im really bumbed out & kindof depressed about this. This is really confusing & its getting irritating being sad/depressed just thinking about this for 1/2 a week.

Britómartis / Britomarpis ‘sweet maiden’ is the Cretan version of Artemis. Words like Li. martì ‘bride’, OIr bairt ‘girl’, G. Britó-martis, seem to require PIE *mH2(a)rti- ‘girl / young woman’ (Whalen 2024a). Cr. britús ‘sweet / fresh’ is found in Hesychius (britú : glukú), so it could be evidence of several changes in :
*dleukos > LB de-re-u-ko, G. gleûkos / deûkos ‘sweet new wine’, *dlukús > G. glukús, Cr. britús ‘sweet / fresh’
or be from *melitu- (G. meilíssō / blíssō ‘soothe / soften’, H. malittu- ‘sweet’). Either would require *l > r, which is not regular, but found in many Greek words. Linear A did not distinguish lV from rV, so its presence in Cretan Greek could show that it is due to dialect changes within Greek.
Since Britómartis / Britomarpis is unexplained by origin from *mH2(a)rti- with any known Greek changes, it is likely it points to new ones that have avoided linguists’ eyes. If it has something to do with m-t / m-p, it would match (Whalen 2024b) :
psathurós ‘friable/crumbling’, psapharós ‘powdery’
*pod-s > *poθs > *pofs > *povs > G. poús, Dor. pṓs
*H2arg^i-pod-s > *-poθs > *-pofs > *-povs > G. argípous ‘fleet-footed’, Mac. argípous / aigípops ‘eagle’ < *’swift’
*wekatos ‘to be obeyed / lord’ > Hekatos, fem. Hekátē, *Hekádē > Hekálē, Hekábē / W(h)ekaba
Hekátē, *Hekádē > Hekálē, Hekábē
G. bátrakhos, Pontic bábakos, etc., ‘frog’
*mlad- > blábē ‘harm/damage’, *mlad-bhaH2- > blásphēmos ‘speaking ill-omened words / slanderous/blasphemous’
and many others, with a similar *m-x > *m-f behind:
*mok^s > L. mox, MW moch ‘soon’, Av. mošu ‘immediately’, *moxs > *mõfs > G. máps ‘rashly/idly’. Since these change applied to *P-θ and *P-ð they resemble *P-s > *P-f > P-w (Whalen 2024c). At first, its effect only targeting fricatives would make it seem like Britómartis > Britomarpis would not be from the same cause, but I have combined it with another idea.
Changes in *ty > tt / ss could be explained by *ty > *tty > *tθy > *tθ / *ts > tt / ss. A palatal *t becoming th is known in Ms. (Whalen 2024d) for *kWe > *k^e > *t^e > G. te, *t^i > Ms. ti / thi ‘and’; *upo-kau-ti > Ms. hipa-ka-thi ‘she made (this) sacrifice’ (G. hupo-kaíō ‘burn by applying fire below / light sacrificial fires’; other palatal outcome in *upo-dheH1-ti > Ms. hipa-de-s ‘he erected / he set up’; 3rd sng. -thi / -s must be cognate with G. -si / -ti. Thus, Simona Marchesini (1995) derived Ms. Blatthes < *Blatyos, making it certain that Cr. Bíaththos is cognate, and the missing link is provided by the presence of the name P Blattius Creticus (found on an offering in the Alps). Hitchman in “Some Personal Names from Western Crete” shows that Cr. Bíaththos and G. Talthúbios (from thaléthō ‘bloom/thrive’ and *gWiH3wo- ‘alive’, with loss of *H in many compounds) were names alternately passed down to father and son, which made him question if G. bio- gave Bíaththos (such names are often related in one out of two elements). Indeed it could be from *biwotos (with common *-yos added to names) if *-w- > 0 and *ty > *t^t^y > thth were known from Crete.
If Britómartis, known to be a Cretan word, underwent the same change implied above, Britómartis > *Britómartθis > *Britomarpfis > Britomarpis would show the reality of many reconstructed stages, and their relevance for Crete (and, I would argue, for LA). Also, an alternation of *pθ / *pf is already implied within other Greek dialects by *ty > *tty > *tθy > tt vs. *py > pt. Since *py > *ppy > *pfy would be expected, it makes sense that *pf > *pθ > pt / ps (Greek ptílon / Doric psílon ‘plume/down/wing’). The fact that Messapic fits so neatly into Greek dialects and provides evidence for a better understanding of Greek changes shows its close relation to known Greek, with no special closeness to Albanian. The tradition that they came from Crete should not be ignored, and shared changes like *ti > *thi, *ty > th(th) could not possibly be due to chance. That many of these changes are or might be seen in LA (r / l, e > i, h > 0 or not spelled) is more evidence of LA being used to write Greek, just as LB, both recently considered “obviously” non-Greek. It is best to correct the errors of the past, not continue them with no evidence.
In a similar way, the mother of Britómartis, Kármē, might show more *l > r. If G.*kaldmos > Cr. kádmos ‘spear / crest / shield’ (*kald- \ *klad- > OIr claideb ‘sword’, OCS klada ‘beam/block’, G. kládos ‘branch’), it would show l / d known from Crete (G. dáptēs ‘eater / bloodsucker (of gnats)’, Cretan thápta, Polyrrhenian látta ‘fly’; G. hapalós ‘soft / tender / gentle / raw (of fruit)’, amalós ‘soft / weak’, Cretan hamádeon ‘a kind of fig’ ) and other mythical names (Odusseús / Olutteus / Ōlixēs; *Poluleúkēs ‘very bright’ > Poludeúkēs ‘Pollux’) (Whalen 2024b). Knowing that Kádmos / Kassmos ‘the founder of Thebes’ is most likely related to Cr. kádmos implies that Kármē (and her father, Karmánōr) would also be. Since -sm- was used to spell [zm], -ssm- might be seen as an attempt at *-sm-, but if I’m right in *kaldmos > *kaddmos > Cr. kádmos, it would be -ssm- for [zzm] in a dialect with *kaddmos > *kaððmos > *kazzmos. Kármē would show both *l > r and *kardm- > karm-. As to the meaning, since they all came from ‘branch / etc.’, and words for ‘wood(en object)’ have such a wide variety of meanings, it would be hard to say more. Maybe Karmánōr ‘spear-man’ (probably the same as Kádmos) and Kármē ‘tree / nymph / wood(-woman)’.
Marchesini, Simona (1995) Le piramidette messapiche iscritte
https://www.academia.edu/1786057
Whalen, Sean (2024a) Proto-Indo-European ‘Father’, ‘Mother’, Metathesis
https://www.academia.edu/115434255
Whalen, Sean (2024b) Greek & Skt. P-dissimilation & P-assimilation, *f > ph, *v > w, *mv > *nw, *rh, o/u by P, need for fricatives & optional sound changes (Draft)
https://www.academia.edu/120561087
Whalen, Sean (2024c) Indo-European *s > f, Greek Fricatives to *f / *v near P
https://www.academia.edu/117599832
Whalen, Sean (2024d) A Call for Investigation of Messapic
https://www.academia.edu/116877237
Whalen, Sean (2024e) Linear A *30 NI, SU-KA, Greek nikúleon ‘a kind of fig’, sûka ‘figs’ (Draft)
https://www.academia.edu/114538877

If your very overweight and get lean, that will increase your attractiveness a lot.
If you have terrible acene and get meds or implement skin care, that will increase your attractiveness a lot.
If you have a noticeable major deformity in your face and get surgical intervention, that will increase your attractiveness a lot.
And so on....
But notice what common with all the things here? They all assume or require you to have a major deficiency in an area in the first place. There not necessarily making you More Attractive, But Less Unattractive; if that makes any sense. In other words, looks maxing can push you to baseline if you have major deficiencies, but beyond that the improvement can be minimal.
Gaining muscle and being lean, for example can improve your attractiveness above baseline, but the extent to which it does is kinda determined by proportions and frame (and i'm not taking about height here) .
Ultimately, if you are doing the basics, 'Lookmaxing' isn't something you should worry or actively 'do', because their really isn't anything you can go beyond the basics.
I really feel that the mental energy is best spent elsewhere,

I never dated.
I was to busy with depression in high school. I had girls which were interested in me, but I pushed them away because of my lack of confidence and self hatred.
I‘m in Uni now and arguably no longer depressed but still with a lot of insecurity.
I want to change that.
I want to find someone which I can really connect to and be together with, thinking about each other’s life and problems.
I hate Tinder. All the girls look so fake with their fancy vacation photos and I wouldn’t even know how to write with them anyway.
I love to go on night walks. Especially in the forests. Places like these give me a unspeakable sense of freedom and solitude. Like I could disappear into the trees.
I love poetry and photography. I like to describe my feelings with them.
Music is also something I can’t life without. I play the guitar myself and I love a wide range of genres. Ranging from Black metal, to melancholic drum and bass and various rap subgernes.
I love horror movies and mystery stuff. Although I‘m way to scared to watch them alone or sober.
I love to play video games. If you do too, I will be sure we will find something in common. If not, I‘m open for anything new.
Well and as stated in the title. I am a introvert by nature. But a chronic dopamine deficiency in my brain forces me to be extroverted, you can guess how this beautiful disorder is called.
I promise you’ll never get bored with me. I don’t know what I‘m doing wrong (or right I guess) but people think that I am a funny person even when I don’t try to be funny.
And yeah about the physical aspect. I have heard a few girls say to me that I‘m hot or attractive but I‘m still with a lot of insecurities from the past and I cant take their word for that.
I lift weights regularly. Height I don’t know and don’t care. i guess between 1,81-1,83 cm. And I still got all my teeth
My preferences would be.. well be alive and non-related would a good start. I would be also cool if you have a discord account since i dont use reddit often.
So yeah if this speaks to you don’t hesitate to dm me looking forward to getting to know you better.

For context, I consider myself a great friend. Not trying to gas myself up, but if someone cares about me, I can never bring myself to intentionally hurt them. If I did, I am always the first to apologize and own up to it. I am always there for them whether they need me to be or not. ESPECIALLY if I know they would do the same for me.
I am writing this from my couch during said friends birthday dinner. He invited me to the bars after, but the more I think about it the less sense it makes. His rationale for me not going to his birthday dinner was because its at his work and in his words, "21+". Im just below that threshold and have a fake id (fbi look away this is a self help post).
I do get him not wanting me to use that at his place of work, but if he really wanted me there I see no reason why he couldn't have just asked me not to drink until after.
The struggle is he is in no way a bad person. We met in a residential treatment program (not substance based) and I FEEL like I know him better than I honestly might. I dont think hes aware of how he treats me. Or maybe hes just completely manipulating me I have no idea. I really dont know. It makes me feel clueless and stupid.
I recently tried confronting him because I had seen him like twice in the past month. We had attempted to make plans multiple times, but they either blew up because other people backed out or he just straight flaked. I started by sending a text trying to express my frustration. To be fair it was passive aggressive but he blatantly just left it on read.
He ended up calling me a few days later to tell me about his birthday. I asked him about not responding to the text, which he said he didnt respond to because of the passive aggressiveness. I still dont see that as an excuse for blatantly ignoring me. He also completely gaslit me, claiming he "dosent see anyone these days" and "is really busy". This could very well be true, but I have no doubt he could find more time to see me if he really wanted too.
Makes me feel like an idiot because I sent him a long, heartfelt text earlier today wishing him happy birthday and appreciating the work hes put in. He responded with "Thank you that was very nice and meaningful" and "love u brother". Could be genuine (doubt it) but he definitely did not put any effort into his response.
It sucks because when I DO see him everything is great. We dont have a ton in common tbh but I feel like we get along really well and I enjoy hanging out with him. All of this makes me question how much of that is genuine though and not him putting up a show so we can be "friends".
This also makes it harder for me to come to terms with cutting him off because hes really never really been flat out mean to me. Just a very manipulative and unreliable friend. He does make the occasional snarky comment, but I have had lots of quality friends who do that. The difference is they do it to tease me and get under my skin while his comments are genuinely judgmental.
As an example I was listening to an EDM song I liked while he was in the car. He goes "this is youtube outtro music". Dosent really seem like a big deal and it really isnt. I didnt show it, but I took it personally. I love that song. I am particularly sensitive to HIM making that comment considering I don't exactly trust him.
I feel like im stuck because I recently moved to a new place and have few social connections outside of him. I am not in classes, and my coworkers are generally an older crowd. I do have hobbies such as cars and basketball and try to get involved in the local communities. My work is my life though and it takes up a lot of my time.
I think it is hard for me to make new friends because I am outgoing and extroverted to the point where it can be intimidating for many people. Im an attention whore ngl and have a huge personality. I dont think there could be more than two of me in a room if im being honest. I have a huge hunch that this is why he treats me the way he does. He also has a big personality and I think struggles to share space with me.
I am not an idiot and know this has to end. I was very close to sending him a nasty text again tonight but bit my tongue because I dont think it will help anything. I know he would also use the fact that its his birthday against me to make me look unreasonable and selfish.
I have self worth and would rather have no friends then ones who hurt me.
I want to send him a text that he cant bs his way around. Not mean or uncalled for, just telling him how hes treated me in a way that he cant gaslight his way out of.
I am sorry this is probably a new record for my longest post. Therapy is still a couple days out and I needed to get this off my chest so im posting a rant on reddit (I need friends lol). If you are reading this, I appreciate you taking the time to hear me.
PS. Just texted him im not going because its 10pm and I have work at 8 tomorrow morning. He responded with "no were just leaving" and I followed up by apologizing and saying that I wasn't expecting it to be this late. Its been like half an hour and he hasn't responded. Wouldnt be surprised if he dosent at all.

I know I’m an a*hole for this but I just don’t enjoy spending time with her… She really cares for things as my health, weight, etc. and invites to places multiple times even if I don’t got money to pay, which I really appreciate but I just don’t enjoy the time we spend.
For me, hanging out with her either turns into a psychology session or watch her get drunk and ridicule herself. Even when it’s not that, we just don’t have any subjects in common to talk about, so I just sit there and listen to her and her sense of humor is so different than mine and makes me cringe a lot. But all in all, she and her boyfriend (which I feel the same as about her) consider me a friend for life when I really just hang out with them because I feel obligated.
Oh, almost forgot to mention she has a pretty explosive personality so a word wrong and she thinks the whole world is against her so I have to apologize and make her calm down, which happens A LOT and I don’t think I need to explain why that ain’t funny.
So yeah, how should I go about this? I tried just saying no to everything but right now she’s mad because of that, should I just take the opportunity and don’t talk to them no more? I feel bad cause they care about me but we just don’t have anything in common, so why should I be a fake friend? I just don’t know how to get out of this…

I am confused by Vanguard's hold policy on newly deposited funds. The language suggests that if I transfer money into my Vanguard brokerage account via ACH, I can only buy up to $25,000 in Vanguard ETFs unless I wait seven days. Is that really true, or is this a badly worded limitation on buying, selling, and buying again?
The situation is this (which seems like it should be a common case):
A. I'm getting a big deposit soon to my bank account. When it hits, I want to transfer more than $25,000 to Vanguard and buy VTI with the funds.
B. I have $0 in my settlement fund now.
C. I do happen to have more than the relevant amount already invested in VUSXX in the same brokerage account.
Questions:

1. Can I just initiate a bank transfer to my settlement account, then go ahead and buy VTI, without waiting seven days?
   
2. If not, is a workaround to sell VUSXX in the relevant amount, buy VTI with those (long-invested) funds, and then buy VUSXX with the newly transferred funds (since there's apparently no limit on Vanguard mutual fund investments)? Seems a silly workaround but it complies with the letter of the fund hold rules, if I'm reading them right.
   
3. Now that ETF trades settle the next day, is it safe/permitted to place a sell order for VUSXX and then place a buy order for ETF shares using those funds the same day?
   

Thanks in advance for any help!

I gave my first IELTS test yesterday and makes me wanna cry. I think that I performed really well in all the modules except listening. I would blame myself for not being fully focused during the listening test, as one needs to read, listen and write all at the same time in stupid listening test. I needed an 8 in listening but after my exam, im sure i can’t get it.
Surprisingly, 4th section of listening(the most difficult) I could do it easily. 3rd section and last two questions of 1st part I have no idea what happened to me. There was a map that I had to answer questions from and i did it perfectly.
Reading was very tough but i could manage it somehow and i think i will get something like 7.5 or 8. Same for writing, wrote a good letter and an essay. I think i did misspell a couple of words in my essay, but it wasnt too bad overall.
I am going to retake it in a couple of weeks again. will share my test results as soon as i get them. Good luck to all of you.
I have one advice: try to be calm and make sure your Goddamn headphones are working ok. I am one hundred percent sure that something was wrong with my headset but im not going to blame it as I did not ask for replacement before starting the test and the fact that it could just be an excuse that im making to myself.

Every now and then I'll see someone say that All Might not dying in the final arc was Horikoshi trying to subvert expectations but I disagree. And I don't mean in the "Oh, I'm so smart. I knew he wouldn't do it." sort of way.
Killing off the mentor character is a common trope in a lot of media. Certainly. But not doing that doesn't inherently mean that the story is subverting expectations, since no matter how common or uncommon a trope or plot point may be it is the story itself that sets what the audience is to expect. For example, if any given series suddenly kills off a character who had more story left to tell, that's typically a subversion of expectations. But if Game of Thrones does it, that's not a subversion of expectations because that series set the expectation very early on that anyone could die. Even if it's extremely uncommon to kill off characters like that in most other series, GOT killing off characters like that isn't a subversion of our expectations, it is meeting the expectations it has set for us.
All Might not dying in the battle of Kamino Ward? THAT was a subversion of expectations. The series up until that point had been pushing the idea that he didn't have much time left, that eventually Midoriya might be left all on his own, and things were building up to the reveal of his old archenemy, All For One, with the confrontation finally coming in Kamino Ward. We the audience were expecting him to die in that battle because the story had led us to believe that it was going to happen. Compare that to, say, Jiraiya from Naruto. Killing off the mentor was just a common trope back when that series was coming out but we still weren't exactly terrified that Jiraiya was going to die during the search for Tsunade or most of the arcs prior to Pain's because the story had given us no reason to believe it'd do such a thing. So having All Might live on after Kamino Ward, only now powerless and unable to save the day on his own anymore, was a subversion of what we were expecting.
But by contrast, him being saved and surviving in the final arc of MHA isn't a subversion of expectations, because that was a possibility the story had been pushing for us to expect.
Ever since Kamino Ward the story has been addressing how useless All Might felt not being able to save everyone and solve everything on his own like he used to, how he potentially "missed his chance to die", and of course Nighteye's prediction about his death. The idea is that instead of going out in a blaze of glory with his legend intact if he'd died in Kamino Ward, if he were to die now it would be unspeakably gruesome and a death without point, just tragedy. Combine that with All Might's vow to keep living for Midoriya's sake, his and Midoriya's promise to keep fighting fate, and All Might doing whatever he can to support those inspired by him even in spite of his powerless state, and the series is essentially building up to a fork in the road in the lead up to All Might and AFO's final confrontation in the final arc.
We're not specifically expecting All Might to die like we were for Kamino Ward, nor are we specifically expecting him to live. Rather we are waiting to see which path the story will go down because it has established BOTH as two very reasonable expectations for us to have as to the outcome of the confrontation. All Might lives and it's a triumph, because the characters managed to beat back fate, or All Might dies and it's a tragedy, because their actions still weren't enough to beat fate. And given the general tone and themes of the series the former was obviously more likely, but even if the latter had occurred it wouldn't have been a subversion of our expectations because the story had been telling us to expect that as a potential outcome.
A subversion would have been more along the lines of something like AFO successfully killing All Might but in the process of doing so his Rewind Quirk affects All Might too and not only brings him back to life but also restores his body to his pre-injured state. All Might dies AND lives, which is not something we would have been expecting, regardless of how the series' internal logic could technically have it make sense.
For another comparison, let's look at Chainsaw Man. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD.
Since basically her introduction the story heavily implies that, no matter how nice she may act towards Denji, Makima is very dangerous and not to be trusted. But even so,>! the complete slaughter she orchestrated of everyone Denji had come to care about was a huge subversion of expectations, since the story had been leading us to believe that we would have more time with those other characters, at least until their inevitable confrontation with the Gun Devil, who we likewise thought was going to be the big boss but turns out to already be basically another tool in Makima's arsenal!<.
Again, when Game of Thrones kills off significant characters, that's not a subversion of expectations because that series trains you to expect such deaths as the norm. But in Chainsaw Man, even with some character deaths already under its belt, it never led you to expect anything like what Makima did to so many significant characters, thus why their deaths and that entire tragic situation was a subversion.
Or, as a lighter example since I know some are split on how they feel about Chainsaw Man's part 2, how about the Dragon Scroll from the first Kung Fu Panda? The power being inside the character all along is certainly not a new trope, but the scroll being blank is still a subversion of the expectations the story had been building up for the audience throughout the movie until that reveal. Everyone, from Tai Lung to Shifu to Tigress and thus even Po believe that the Dragon Scroll is something mystical that will grant literal power to whoever reads it. The only one who knew the truth was Oogway and he always chose his words carefully in order to not give away the deception.
The scroll being just empty shiny paper fits very well with the movie's main themes and ideas, as well as much of the general philosophy of martial arts, but it is still a subversion of expectations because of what we'd been made to expect by the story.
Heck, what about Alien? In plenty of horror movies it's fairly common for the main character to survive until the end even when all the other characters get killed off, but if you watch the movie Ripley is not initially set-up and established like she's the main character. Rather, that would be Kane. He's the one we enter the movie with and who's perspective we spend a decent deal following around until the Facehugger latches onto him. Kane initially seems like he's our protagonist and thus it's a subversion of our expectations, as the movie set them up, for him to be the first one to die.
In all these examples we are set up to expect a certain payoff, thus why it's a subversion when we get something else, while All Might not dying in the final arc isn't a subversion of expectations because that was a potential payoff we were set-up to expect for that storyline.
TL;DR: Just because certain tropes or plots are common doesn't mean a story subverted expectations by not doing them. It depends on what the story itself actually set you up to expect.

I started writing this as something to send to my friends as we regularly argue and debate over politics and I don't feel like I've ever had the opportunity or congruity in my ideas to fully formulate them. While much of this is written matter-of-fact'ly I want to preface this by saying I am not a political theorist by any stretch of the imagination. I am woefully uninformed especially compared to anyone who could be rightly named an "expert" on the subject. Keep in mind also that, as I said, this was written with it being sent to my friends in mind and is formatted as such. To keep with the sort of stream of consciousness I was going for I won't be reformatting this for the post. Also, just for clarification in case I failed to make it apparent; when I use the word "countries" in the 3rd paragraph I'm referring to countries with the definition in mind that they are an indefinite usually extended expanses of land with which its residents identify, similar to but distinct from regions, and not as states.
So, here it is:
Capitalism is most easily defined by the whims of the capitalist. The goal of the capitalist is infinite growth. Before I hear something pedantic like "not all capitalists want to grow infinitely" the most successful capitalists in history are the largest corporations in the world (e.g. Blackrock, J.P. Morgan, The Bank of China, Exxon Mobile and other such monopolies) which own hundreds if not thousands of other corporations all with global reach and many of which are monopolies in their own right. So, the goal of the capitalist is infinite growth. And therefor the goal of capitalism is infinite growth. Infinite growth is not possible, and the capitalist knows this. This is why we have ups and downs in the economy. Bubbles that grow and then pop. Capitalists use capital to grow economies to create more capital to fill the bubble that is the (an) economy. When the bubble gets too big to continue growing, it pops, and the economy collapses. Leaving the capitalists with all (a gross majority) of the capital created in the bubble. They then use some of the capital to reform the economy to grow larger yet, until it can grow no more, and pops. So on. This IS capitalism. It is a vicious cycle of elites growing and destroying economies to accrue more capital at the expense of every one and every thing else in the world. You hear a lot that "capitalism doesn't work", it works perfectly. It works exactly as intended. This is capitalism functioning: Growth, pop, hoarding, investment, growth, pop, hoarding, investment. We should be able to agree this is not sustainable and that it causes unnecessary harm to billions of people who are not the select few orchestrating and benefiting from this cycle. And based on that we should be able to agree that we need an alternative.
So, at the most basic level, what is socialism and why is it a necessary alternative? Socialism is the re-appropriation of the existing capital. You hear a lot of misinformed people saying that the resources to provide for everyone are non-existent, this is objectively false. These resources are squarely in the hands of capitalists and they have far beyond what is required to meet the basic needs of all people. Socialism is taking the existing capital out of the hands of hoarding elites and distributing it into socialized programs such as healthcare, education, infrastructure, housing, and other basic needs for all of civilization. Use the economies and resources present to form a sustainable society. Accepting socialism as the necessary and inevitable successor to capitalism is the acknowledgement that the previous statement is accomplish-able, and it is. Now, I could end this here, but let's take the time to go further.
What is communism, and why will it succeed socialism? As capitalism is the accruement of capital and socialism is the re-appropriation of capital, communism would be the obsolescence of capital. Capital would still have a place in the world, but communities would not be reliant on it. They would live self sustainably through collectivized maintenance and development of those communities. Smaller communities would be unites of larger communities, which would collectivize the maintenance and development of those larger communities and, ideally, the world. You operate as a collective with your neighbors towards common goals in your neighborhood, your neighborhood collectivizes with other neighborhoods towards common goals in your town, your town collectivizes with other towns towards common goals in your region, your region collectivizes with other regions towards common goals in your country, your country collectivizes with other countries towards common goals globally.
And now I say, what is anarchy and why will it succeed communism? Anarchy is the abolition of capital and the flattening of all previous hierarchies. The transition from communism to anarchy is societies development into a fluid functionality of consensus and negotiation between people in where the status quo of capital has died and the new status quo has become the common good.
So there it is. Like the title says, I think I have a very very simplistic understanding of the idea here that I can push off of and learn more from. But if there's anything I have fundamentally wrong I'd like to hear from my fellow anarchists.