Edit: DO NOT message me a simple hi or hello, with no information about you, Put some effort in to your message like i have, come on. Day+Attempt#189
Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read, I know its long, I know - I know. But its worth the read, Trust me. I appreciate you immensely.
Here's a bit about me,
My name is Jay, I live on the East coast of the US. I'm looking for love - like everyone else on here.., but you may not believe or even be doubtful that I've never had a GF before with me being 26, but its true. I'm simply just not willing to "be with" just anyone and I'm very picky. I want us to be a match, more than just have similar things in common.
One thing I have always been told is that I'm a "Real Catch, I'd be extremely lucky to have someone like you" - WELL THEN TAKE ME. I'M FREE. LOL.
About me:
Physically -
~I'm a semi-tall guy, around 5'10.
~I'm thin but muscular.
~I have dirty blonde/ brown hair.
~Changing colored eyes.
~A voice nice enough to melt all your safeguards and get right into your heart and weak spots.
~I do not have any tattoos or piercings. Though I would like to get some eventually.
If you'd like to see a picture of me just ask and I'll show you - IF I may see you as well, I simply just don't want a picture of me out there for anyone to see.
-If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
Otherwise -
~I do have 3 pet bunnies I would be more than happy to show you, they are extremely cute.
~I'm a very honest and down to earth guy.
~I'm very patient and easy going.
~I'm very curious and inquisitive. I will try to ask everything I can to learn all about you haha.
~I'm Very VERY Kind & Caring, I will probably ask how you are feeling a bajillion times a day, simply out of care for you.
~I can get pretty clingy, and will always want your attention and to be talking with you. If i have someone im interested in i wont want to talk to anyone else🤷‍♂️
~I'm very trustworthy - you can confide in me, and entrust your deepest secrets and I wont tell a soul.
~I'm a HUGE hopeless romantic, im old fashioned and will always try to impress you.
- I'm, a BIG softie even though I may look a smol bit intimidating, but I'd do just about anything to see you smile or laugh. And yes.., I do mean anything.
~I'm a big goof - I will get up to some silly shenanigans ALL the time, I will crack dumb jokes and send you memes and tik toks just to make you happy, even if its from across the room I'd wait to see your reaction lol.
~I'm extremely loyal, and would never even think of cheating.
~I will cook for you, and clean up too, even around the house, I'm very self productive and don't ask for much. Just don't forget to kiss the cook.
~I'd also love to just cuddle up and watch a movie or read a book together, anything to get us closer. Id try to take you out on dates whenever possible haha. I have a million SUPER romantic date ideas I have but have never had anyone interested enough in me to take out. Here's your chance ;)
~I will always want to share stuff I find interesting with you, and try to share every moment of every day with you. I'm not looking for someone who can only talk for a small amount of time, I want someone who's willing to put in all the effort I put into them back into me, it goes both ways. If I'm "with" someone you are my TOP priority nobody and nothing else would be. You would be the only person I'd truly want to talk to, so rest assured I would NEVER cheat, even more so because no one is interested in me - Hence why I'm here hahaha.
I'm sure there is more to me than this snippet but I cant think of more at the moment haha, so get to know me and find out more about me.
Some of my interests are: Engineering- I'm a nerd. I admit it. I love being technical and hands on, I love building things. All kinds of things, from furniture, machinery, and reverse engineering anything I find. I love learning how things work and trying to improve things.
Music - I prefer music with a very fast pace, or with some very meaningful lyrics I can relate to. I love to sing along to music and songs that have a deep meaning behind it I can sympathize with makes it all the better. Some bands I like are: Bad Omens, Beartooth, Demon Hunter, MIW, I9K - The list goes on. I'm a bit of a metalhead unfortunately.
TV Shows & Movies - I love watching shows, and I'd love to stream some shows and have some E-dates with you, to get to know you, or if you are close to me, maybe we could do it in person. Some shows I like or more of the Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action, stuff like: National Treasure, Halo, BattleBots, Rick and Morty, AHS, Anything Marvel or DC, The Witcher, Wednesday, The Sandman, The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, ETC.
Gaming - Yes yes I know, Basic guy likes basic stuff. But gaming has been a thing for me since forever. I know most of you wont care or want to hear that, but I'll leave out the specifics on this part unless you are interested in that, MEGA Bonus points if you are.
Here's a lists of Cons to dating me-
~I'm not Ryan Reynolds. Disappointing, I know.
~I will fight you on what goes on pizza lol.
~I'm not rich.., Yet.
~I can't pronounce Worcestershire.
~I'm slightly forgetful, but with good reasoning.
~(Not really a con but- some might disagree) I still have ALL of my firsts, Do with that what you will c:
~I've got an endless pile of love and affection and no one to give it to! What a dilemma! Help me fix it?
Other than that I'll save the rest for a bit more of getting to know each other.
Here's a bit of what I'm looking in you:
~Preferably someone with lots of free time, and loves to chit chat. I'm seriously not interested in getting 1 message a day. Though I understand people get busy, I personally am not willing to try to learn about you and form something with 7 responses a week. Effort gets reciprocated and I appreciate the time you put in me.
~Physically: -I’m not personally attracted to anyone who’s “curvy/ chubby”, I apologize. Not a shallow thing, I just dont have the attraction chemical in my brain for that, I’m sorry. -If you’re shorter than me, thats a plus to me. -I love dimples, if you have those when you smile, bonus points 😊 - I’m not sure what else to put.., but as for nsfw wise find out😂
~I'm a sucker for a different accent other than American, and if you have an Posh English accent you have already won my heart.
~I'm also only really looking for someone within the ages of 18-35. I don't want anyone old enough to be my mom lol.
~I'd prefer (But not a must) people NOT on the other side of the world, as other time zones SUCK. I don't expect to find anyone who also has never had a boyfriend either, but that would be a real plus. I also don't mind a LDR, but I don't want that forever. But it gives us time to get to know each other.
But as for attributes I'm looking for in you:
~Someone who is above all else very very Loyal and would never cheat.
~Someone who is Honest, and will tell me the truth over a little white lie.
~Someone who is Kind & Caring, who'd constantly check on me, and accept me for who I am & help me improve day to day.
~Someone who is trustworthy, and I can count on to keep my secrets safe, or even just help me remember things.., I do tend to be somewhat forgetful.
~Someone who is very Patient and wants to see me succeed and will help me do so, just like I would help you. Even if its small day to day things, I would appreciate your company ANY time.
~I want a partner who is Affectionate, can reciprocate, and loves to snuggle and talk about their day, and what their interests are, and what makes them happy.
~Someone who can admit they get clingy or overprotective is a bonus.
~A partner with good communication is key, if something wrong we have to be able to talk about it.
~A partner who likes to game with me or at least watch me play would be a plus but not a requirement.
~Someone with a good sense of humor and like to joke around, I am a big goof after all and I love to joke around. Sending memes is always appreciated and good to cheer people up too!
~I'd prefer someone with the same music taste, but not a requirement, Plus if you wouldn't mind if I send you love songs occasionally that's a bonus, or sending me some back haha.
~Being willing to voice call is a must, Texting forever is not the way to go. I have to know what your voice is like haha, later on we can video call if you are comfortable with that. I prefer chatting on Discord because Reddit messages of any kind I'm sure you know are unreliable and sucky in general. So please send me your discord if you have one :)
~I would LOVE to see picture of your pets if you have any. Bonus points if it includes your beautiful self haha.
I'm sure there is more I'm looking for but I cant think of it right now haha, I will have to edit this when I think of it.
Please tell me about you as an opener! I told you a good bit about me, now its your turn haha.
Tell me some things like -
~What's your name?
~Where are you from?
~How old are you?
~What are your hobbies / interests?
~What about my post interested you?
~Where is my TV Remote?!
~Selfie? Pet pics?
~Hit me with your best joke or meme :)
~What's your favorite candy?
I'd LOVE to get to know you, and see where things go.
But yeah, I know it was long I'm sorry haha. Send me a message and lets get to know each other! :)

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

So me and my girlfriend have been together na for a year—turning 2years in December.
I have this problem na palagi n'ya akong pinagseselos at hindi n'ya nilalagyan ng boundaries yung mga friends n'ya since kaibigan n'ya nga raw ito.
Palagi n'yang sinasabi na may kabit s'ya tuwing nag ddate kami, consistently n'ya itong sinasabi and it's making me think kung totoo ba yung sinasabi n'ya and ofcourse inopen ko 'to sakanya at palagi n'yang sinasabi na joke lang naman daw yun and i didn't argue about it na. But, the problem is palagi nyang ginagawa kahit nag ssorry na sya sa'kin kaya kahit anong isipin ko na wala yun, hindi talaga maalis sa isip ko.
Additionally, She have this circle of friends na full of girls and, to be honest i don't know kung valid o tama ba 'tong nararamdaman ko. Kasi naman, she would let them do any romantic stuff sakanya, such as, magkkiss, holding hands, etc.
Last week, nag send s'ya ng pictures sa akin na nasa kama sila nung kaibigan n'yang babae at naghholding hands. I ask her if nilalagyan n'ya ba ng boundaries yung mga kaibigan n'ya knowing na may boyfriend sya and she replied "bakit ko naman lalagyan ng boundaries e mga kaibigan ko 'yan" and i don't know what to feel about it, i thought once you're in a relationship you should create a boundaries with your friends kahit same gender, moreover, she suddenly remove my nickname and nag deact sya without saying a word, after an hour or two nag my day sya na kameet up yung girl na kaibigan n'ya, i ask her about this and she just said na biglaan yun.
ABYG, hindi ko na kasi alam kung tama ba yung nararamdaman ko or normal lang talaga yun sa mga babae

So me and my girlfriend have been together na for a year—turning 2years in December.
I have this problem na palagi n'ya akong pinagseselos at hindi n'ya nilalagyan ng boundaries yung mga friends n'ya since kaibigan n'ya nga raw ito.
Palagi n'yang sinasabi na may kabit s'ya tuwing nag ddate kami, consistently n'ya itong sinasabi and it's making me think kung totoo ba yung sinasabi n'ya and ofcourse inopen ko 'to sakanya at palagi n'yang sinasabi na joke lang naman daw yun and i didn't argue about it na. But, the problem is palagi nyang ginagawa kahit nag ssorry na sya sa'kin kaya kahit anong isipin ko na wala yun, hindi talaga maalis sa isip ko.
Additionally, She have this circle of friends na full of girls and, to be honest i don't know kung valid o tama ba 'tong nararamdaman ko. Kasi naman, she would let them do any romantic stuff sakanya, such as, magkkiss, holding hands, etc.
Last week, nag send s'ya ng pictures sa akin na nasa kama sila nung kaibigan n'yang babae at naghholding hands. I ask her if nilalagyan n'ya ba ng boundaries yung mga kaibigan n'ya knowing na may boyfriend sya and she replied "bakit ko naman lalagyan ng boundaries e mga kaibigan ko 'yan" and i don't know what to feel about it, i thought once you're in a relationship you should create a boundaries with your friends kahit same gender, moreover, she suddenly remove my nickname and nag deact sya without saying a word, after an hour or two nag my day sya na kameet up yung girl na kaibigan n'ya, i ask her about this and she just said na biglaan yun.
ayun lang, huhu I don't know what to feel na kasi is it normal thing or no🙁🙁

MAIN ISSUE IS GIVEN WITH "‼️‼️" BELOW AND THE FIRST CHEATING EVENT IS GIVEN BELOW IN 🚩🚩🚩
THIS IS JUST BACKGROUND Hi guys, I am going through a dilemma. I (25 F) and my husband (30 M) are both Pakistani and live in the Gulf. We had our paper marriage, aka Nikkah, in 2017 and got married, i.e., moved into his house, in 2019. We've known each other since 2016, and this was a love marriage. My husband went against his parents' wishes to get married to me, whereas my family is very supportive of whatever choices I make.
During COVID, I moved into my parents' house because of my two younger brothers, 15 and 12 at that time, as my parents got stuck in our home country for six months. My husband would spend four days with me and four days with his parents, i.e., peak COVID lockdown in 2020. Since I've known my husband, this is the first time I accidentally found out his phone password, whereas he always insisted on having all of my social media passcodes in the past.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Anyways, I opened up his Snapchat without any malicious intent to check out his phone to get a few couple photos that we took on his phone, and Snapchat showed memories of last year of the same date. It was with some Filipinos (nothing against them, but where I live, they are usually considered as sex workers). I went and checked the old photos, and I saw that he had pictures with a lot of random women and specifically with his ex-girlfriend in the year 2018. They both had taken a lot of selfies from his sitting very close to each other in bars and even alone in the car, again very close to each other in his arms. I also found out he was asking Filipino their rates for sex work,and he also met one of them in his car and went to meet one in a mall during peak COVID lockdown.
Anyways, I didn't plan to talk to him about it because I was newly wed and didn't want to face consequences, and I thought he might stop on his own. Fast forward a few months later, my parents came back safely, and I moved back into my husband's house with his parents, and this is the time when I first actually started living with them, and within a few weeks, my FIL came to hit me with a shoe when I refused to give him my phone as a punishment for using it so often.
Anyways, things started escalating a lot, and my husband and I were having regular fights because of his parents always crossing boundaries. Then one day, we had a fight, and in the heat of the moment, I accidentally said out about his affairs. So we talked about it, and he said that he met his ex-girlfriend just like a friend as she came back from her home country after a long time, and he was asking for rates of Filipinos for his single friend. When I asked about what did you do with the Filipino you picked up in the car, he said that they just ate shawarmas by the seaside. I was naive and I bought into his narrative, even though I agreed to believe in his story,the uneasy feeling never left to the point where I refuse to have a child with him as I don't think I have a secure future with him.
Due to his parents bickering all the time, I finally snapped back at them, and they made a huge deal out of it and threw me out of the house, and my husband and I both went no contact for one whole year as I demanded a separate house even if I have to face hunger. When we did finally talk again, he convinced me that this won't happen again from his parents' side, and he will start fulfilling my basic rights as a wife, i.e., fulfilling my basic needs, maintaining peace, and protecting.
During this whole time, my father was the one who fulfilled all my basic needs. Anyways, I moved back in with him at the end of 2021, and he did not stay true to his word. He still picks out fights, his parents still shout, scream at me occasionally, and he only gives me a bare minimum monthly allowance, which is not enough for me, and I still have to end up asking my father for money. Please keep in mind I am a university student, and my father pays for all car maintenance, university fees, and essential needs, and the amount that my husband gives me usually goes out in just fuel and a few meals in university.
Anyways, the point is that coming back to his house in 2021 till the end of 2023, we used to constant fights mostly because of his anger issues and just generally being rude and in a bad mood all the time. I had to beg him crying to change his behavior towards me and to be nicer to me when talks, or else I will have no other option than to leave him. He did become nicer for three months until he started being rude again for over daily routine issues until his family was hit by a huge crisis due to his younger brother's fault. That's when he became polite to me again.
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ THE MAIN ISSUE My main dilemma, after all of these ups downs, I really thought I was seeing some improvement in him, and I was finally feeling optimistic about my future with him, but I guess God has some other plans. He accidentally forgot to lock his phone last month, and I found out he had been texting sex workers again and asking their prices. He was also in contact with a girl, let's call her J, via Snapchat since 2021 till now, and only a few chats were saved in one which he was begging to convince her that I am not his wife rather his sister. Apparently, J saw me and husband out somewhere. I let all of this go again since I thought it's pointless bringing this up as things are now improving. Two weeks after me finding out, I randomly get a dick pic from my husband at 4 am when I was sleeping next to him, and he was awake and came back from a night out with his friends. When I woke up, my husband was asleep; I found it very suspicious since we don't get these kinds of pictures anymore. He forgot to lock his phone again and LO AND BEHOLD he sent the same dick pic to her with me literally sleeping next to him. What fathoms me the most is that how could he not feel any shame with me laying next to him.
Anyways, I talked about it a few days later, and he basically told me that he was trying to check J's loyalty for his friend. Please keep in mind his friend is also married and has 3-4 kids. I asked my husband why did you do it for your friend when you should have understood it the first time I caught you and made an issue out of it, and he said I thought that I would understand him doing all this for a friend, and I should've specifically asked him to stop doing it for his friends if I have such issues. Anyways, a part of me wants to believe his bullshit story, but a part of me knows that he is trying to manipulate me again as I can't even why a person who went against his parents' wishes would literally go out of his way to ruin his marriage. Does he want me to initiate the divorce so that he doesn't get the blame? WTF is it I am so confused, and I would most definitely will never have a child with a person who cheats.

Hello I am building a side project, which is a place (website) where you can come and ask a nutrition question.
Here, on Reddit (or elsewhere in the forums) you would get bunch of replies to any question you have. The problem is, you don't know who's answering, how trustworthy they are. More often than not, the answers contradict each other and you basically finish where you started.
The obvious solution would be to go and get a consultation with an expert. This is what you should do (unconditionally) if you have a medical situation, diagnosis etc. Otherwise, it will cost you on average around $80-100 (if we talk about the USA), which for some simpler situations might be too much. It is too much.
Here's https://caloriot.com, a place where you send your question to a certified expert and get your answer within 24 hours. No appointments, no weeks of waiting, all from the comfort of your home (or wherever you are).
The fee is just a fraction of the above amount -> $9. For that you won't get a one liner or a Yes/No answer. The reply will be concise, but detailed and as helpful as possible (the more detailed question you send, the easier it will be for the expert). Roughly consider several paragraphs of text.
The best part of it right now? It's FREE! The $9 I mentioned above is the goal. I am just starting the thing, lot's of work to reach there. This is why I'd like to ask you for your feedback. Please go and try it out, ask you questions, let me know what you think about the answers (but also about anything else).
Thank you!

Hi—Confused Newbie here; please be gentle yet descriptive, if possible.
First, is there a simple way to access new templates or notebook covers using only the device itself?
Somehow—perhaps bc I started with Kindle Scribe—I envisioned that I might be able to use an app or a web link on the Supernote to look for such things, via a community forum or even a template store. I thought there might be at least a few “sample” covers or even templates preloaded into the “MyStyle” folder, to allow me to play around with the concept of personalization.
Second, is there any way to quickly send a self-made template via an email address? (Again, I am accustomed to Kindle Scribe).
Third— my other devices are an iPhone, a Windows 10 PC, an iPad, and a Kindle Scribe. Assuming I find (on reddit, or elsewhere online) or create what I need template-wise, what is the quickest/easiest way to get that over to my Supernote for use? I get confused among Supernote iOS app, Supernote cloud, Supernote partner app on PC etc.
I got the Supernote to help myself feel less scattered at a time when my bandwidth is limited, but I feel in serious need of a hand-holding tutorial (re: this basic stuff, as well as headings, TOC, links, keywords, stars, etc. ).
I’m not sure how to best use SN as an optimization tool, when figuring it out feels kind of DIY in a way I currently can’t swing. It’s like I have so many questions and can’t even find a basic organized place to write them down, never mind ask them.
(I think my ADHD doesn’t mix well with the user manual being buried onboard—I need like a programmed text or Socratic experiential workshop or something so it clicks. Not proud, not proud. )
Thank you all so much for your help.

okay I never do this but I’m pretty bored rn so I don’t mind calling just send in your friend application I guess. and if I haven’t replied to you yet my bad, just double text!
ALSO NOTHING WEIRD!!!

So for context, we only started dating about 3 months ago but things have been going really, really great. She's been kinder to me than anyone I've dated before and she's always been upfront and honest with me about things. I don't need to ask, she tells me the things she thinks I have a right to know. I've felt really happy and cared for and I've felt like I really trust her. So this is not a matter of trust.
However, the other day one of the guys living on her floor said good morning to us as we were leaving the apartment together, and she looked terrified for a moment. I asked what was wrong and she told me that he used to constantly ask her for sex and she used to repeatedly say no but he never respected it, that he would make moves on her in the workplace too and she would give out to him for being so disrespectful, but that on two occasions she hooked up with him while feeling really down and when she needed to "feel wanted", then regretted it afterwards. She told me that once she met me, she told him she didn't want to maintain active contact with him, but that he made contact again both in work and via text to tell her she could always "take shelter" in his room if she wanted and added "you can bring your boyfriend too", which she said infuriated her and made her lose all respect for him.
I didn't ask for any of this information, she confessed herself immediately after the encounter, and she said she was trying to find the best way to tell me about this. She also told me she had no feelings for him at all, which I believe, but this honestly makes it harder for me to understand. She has told me about her past sexual relationships without me asking and in every other case she had feelings for the guy, so I didn't think twice about it, but she claimed this guy was the sole exception which I think was meant to reassure me. But all I can think about is the fact that she slept with him multiple times despite the fact that they work together, live in rooms across from each other, that he was repeatedly disrespectful to her, and that she had no feelings for him.
This doesn't really make any sense to me and seems very out of character for her as she's someone I see as having high standards when it comes to how others treat her. Why would she maintain contact despite the disrespect? Why would she risk her job, home, and risk complicating future relationships for the sake of having sex with this guy? Why would it happen twice, and so recently too (the last time was shortly before we met), if she regretted it? Why is he so casually friendly and making such strange comments?
All of these details have left me ruminating excessively about their history and how I may encounter him any time I visit or leave her apartment, etc. I can't get these thoughts and images out of my head, even though I have no jealousy at all about any of her other past relationships that she shared all the details of. But something about this is really bothering me and making me feel miserable. I don't think it's a matter of trust as I do trust her not to cheat. It's not a matter of insecurity or feeling inadequate either. But I don't quite know what it is.
I personally have never had casual sex despite many opportunities because I always wanted to reserve sexual intimacy for relationships and avoid drama or hurting people, so it's possible that her actions just make me worry we have different views of sex. For me, it's really tied to feelings. I wouldn't want to end the relationship over different views of sex in either case, but it's possible that I'm feeling this way because it suggests a difference between us that I wasn't cognizant of before.
Regardless, I need to overcome this and I don't want to be distant with her because I am feeling so down about it. It's not fair to her and she's being nothing but incredibly kind to me. While the relationship is new, we've spent a lot of time together too and she has been consistently loving and considerate. What can I do to overcome or at least understand these feelings, and how can I navigate this situation so she doesn't get hurt or upset by me being emotionally distant while processing my feelings?
Tl;dr: My amazing new girlfriend told me, without me asking, that she previously (before we met) hooked up with a coworker who lives in her apartment building on two occasions, despite the fact that she had rejected him countless times before and he never respected her saying no. I'm really struggling not to ruminate about it, but I'm not entirely sure why I'm so upset. I don't want my feelings to damage the relationship and need help understanding them.

GPT-4o is an omni model. It accepts any combination of text, audio, and image as input and generates any combination of text, audio, and image as outputs.
There's 100s of applications it will enable. I'll cover a few of them below.

1. Language Learning

Duolingo Stock fell by $65 in the last 5 days. That should tell you the entire story.
Duolingo Stock
For context, Duolingo is a language-learning app. Now GPT-4o can easily translate terms in other languages by just pointing it to the ChatGPT's Camera.
This is massive if you want to travel globally as a nomad. You don't have to know a language now. You can just translate on the fly in any random country.
The accuracy won't be 100% but it would be close enough. And the AI keeps improving.

2. Solving School Problems For Students

I wish I had this in school. Learning could've been more efficient and faster.
Most students fear asking questions because they feel it might be dumb. Now you can ask ChatGPT any dumb question.
It even solves math problems for the Salman Khan's (founder of Khan Academy, not the actor) Kid.

3. Bed Time Stories For Kids

Since ChatGPT can talk now with a humourous and sultry voice, you can use it to tell stories to kids. It can be used in the voice of their parents or grandparents.
You can even use a Soft Toy that does the talking to the kid. Earlier, there used to be toys that did that but it only spoke the same sentence. Now it can do back and forth.
You can make special toys that teach kids letters and alphabets. Target it to 2-3 year olds.
Hat tip to Whyme-__- for the Bed Time idea.

4. Be My Eyes For The Blind

Best damn use-case for the blind. Now using a Phone is a bit too much for this but when smart glasses come, every blind person will have a walking companion.
The future is great for the blind.

5. Be My Friend

Too many people are lonely nowadays thanks to technology. It can be a boon for some but a con for others.
You can build a specialized app that gets you an AI Friend since you can talk to it now and it can talk back, it will be great.
I am 100% sure Therapy AI will be much better now with Audio/Video integration. In future, we will have fully featured Robots like Tesla's Optimus and Figure that will have such functionalities built-in.
I bet this comes in <2 years judging by the pace at which AI and Robotics are accelerating.

6. Comic Books

Now that text can be easily created with ChatGPT, why not create Comic Books easily.
Its a huge creative exercise for comic creators. Webtoons have exploded in popularity and many KDramas are made out of them like Death's Game and Marry My Husband.
This will increase the creativity exponentially.

7. Font Creations

Fonts are expensive. Like really expensive.
Funnily enough ChatGPT can create fonts easily now. Take the most popular fonts, tweak them a bit, and create entire new sets of fonts.
Look at the creations explode on Creative Market. Font directories like Typewolf can now create their own fonts easily as they already have distribution.
Open AI GPT-4o Text to Font

8. Brand Placements

It solved for Brand Placements too.
You can put your brand in places you never imagined without using too much effort.
Open AI GPT-4o Brand Placement

9. Poster Creation for Movies or TV Series

Posters are hard to get right but as you know there are only finite variations.
Open AI GPT-4o Movie Posters
You can fine-tune it on popular movie posters and solve Poster Creation once and for all.
Open AI GPT-4o Poster Creation
What use-cases can you come up with? Give me your best ones.
PS: If you'd like to read the full post with images, you can do so here.
PPS: You can find more AI-related posts here covering AI Girlfriends, AI Photo apps, Startups from 1st-wave of AI that made it big and more.

It is finally time to review what is in my opinion the greatest game of all time. I am going to attempt to explain the addiction, the dedication, the variety and paradoxically the repetition of this hack n slash rpg masterpiece.
First off let me take you back to when I was first introduced to the game. Way back in 2001. I was a 16 year old, obese sweaty lad.
My friend Hugh who lived down the road from me would frequently have multiple people round his house, where we could relax and party. One day sitting round there I saw Hugh playing this little beauty on his desktop. When I asked what it was, he raved about it. He called the addiction 'catching the Diablo bug.'
He was running a Barbarian and had managed to get his level to the mid 90s. Hugh never had the internet back then. So looking back, I have always been impressed with how far he got on his own, especially considering he happened to choose the barbarian. Which is one of the more slower characters to get going. The amount of time he put in must of been immense.
Eventually he got off the damn pc and I got to experience the game for myself. I chose the Necromancer. I was hooked instantly. What really got me was the character experience progression. I was so excited collecting enough experience to gain each level. Then choosing what new skill I wanted to add to my repetoire. At that time I had no idea about character builds and stupidly got every skill available.
Another thing that really hooked me was the hunt for loot. Everytime a boss group fell I would dilegently search through the loot hoping for an improved piece of equipment. Maybe a new helmet, or wand? My life had changed I knew I had to have this game for myself. I knew there was only so much that Hugh would put up with me visiting, when I was there obviously just to play the game rather than visit him.
But there was a problem. I did not own a pc. I had a Playstation 1 and my mum would not be able to afford the £600 to £700 needed to buy me one. I was devestated and tried to find a replacement for Diablo addiction. So like an ex junkie trying to satiate his need for heroin with methadone, I scoured my local HMV store for something similar, some sort of rpg. I settled on the 9th installment of a series I had never heard of. I purchased Final Fantasy IX. Now this actually turned out to be another of my favourite games ever. But at the time I was dissapointed that it did not scratch my Diablo itch.
After probably a year of nagging my mum she spoke to my Grandad and he agreed to buy me my own pc and Diablo II LOD. He also bought me Star Wars Galactic Battleground, that I had witnessed round another friends house. I finally got to play Diablo as much as I wanted. And boy did I play it. Non stop. For hours. For days. For weeks. For months. For years. Here in 2021 I still play this game.
Now let me explain one of the game's greatest features. The variety of character builds. There are seven main character types that you can choose from. Necromancer, Barabarian, Sorceress, Amazon, Paladin and with the Lord of Destruction expansion the Druid and the Assassin. But in each of these characters there are multiple different character builds you can make. For instance with the Necromancer you could choose to be a Summoner, focusing mostly on the summon tree, pumping all your skill points into raising the dead and calling golems to do your dirty work for you. But if you wanted a more hands on approach you could focus on the bone skills. Pumping your skills into bone spears and bone walls. Trapping your enemies then firing your projectile bones at them. Don't fancy bone? Why not go poison? Pump your points in poison dagger, poison explosion and nova. I used to have loads of fun running into multiplayer games online and hostiling lower level player characters and pumping them full of poison nova and watching them die. This is just four obvious examples of build for the necromancer. There are many more. With sub builds and hybrids.
I would say the Paladin is the most versatile character with over 20 different possible builds. Before I die I want to make every single one for every character. The way it changes your play style really gives the game almost endless possibilities.
But it is strange that I am praising variety as one of it's greatest features, when it is also one of it's greatest faults. The repetition. Not in characters, but in quests and acts. The game is split up into five acts, in varying environments, including wide open green plains, a vast baron desert, a luscious and deep jungle, the depths of hell itself and with the LOD expansion, a snowy mountainscape. Inside each of these acts there are six quests for you to complete, except act 4 which only has three. After completing all the acts and beating the final boss you have the option to play on a higher difficulty. Normal, Nightmare and Hell. In this greater difficulty you can go back through the game against harder enemies, continuing to level your character. Also the best items are not available in Normal and Nightmare. It is impossible for them to drop anywhere but the Hell difficulty.
This is not a bad system but it would been better to have 15 different acts of progressive difficulty instead of running the same 5 over and over. The damn repetition. You run certain bosses repeatedly hoping they drop that item you're waiting for. You repeatedly run bosses to gain experience. I must of killed the act three boss Mephisto over 200,000 times as he is one of the best places to hunt for magic items. This didn't bother me. It was exciting every time one of my targets dropped, hoping that this would be the one where something awesome would spawn. Some of the most sort after items are runes. Little stone pieces that can be put in socketed items in a certain order to create a rune word. Which are some of the best items in the game.
I remember grinding for months, trading all my finds for runes, slowly building them up until I could afford my target. The Enigma. A rune word armour that gives any character the sorceress exclusive skill of teleport. That was a game changer. I will never forget the day I got my first one. Something that seemed so impossible to obtain as the runes needed to create it have something like a one in a million chance of dropping. But all my hard work paid off and I got to tele my paladin around. Priceless gaming moment for me. The graphics look dark and gritty, absolutely perfect for the game's content.
I love the way the game looks and am not a fan of the more cartoony looking Diablo III. the enemies look awesome especially Diablo himself. The music matches the graphics with its haunting tones. Each area has a theme, some being very intense. Act 1 has a kind of minimalist feel to it with its quiet tinkling on acoustic guitar. Act 2 has a more Arabic feel to it and is my personal favourite. Each act's music is well suited to the landscape and it is very well done.
The game does have a storyline but it really isn't about that. With the amount of times you're going to be playing through the same acts and quests you'll be skipping all text boxes.
So I have tried to explain what makes this game the greatest of all time in my opinion but words can not really convey how I feel about it. It's like an old friend I still visit. I love you Diablo!
Gameplay 20%
Graphics 20%
Sfx 20%
Controls 20%
Replayability 20%
Overall 100%

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. We met in October of 2022 and were talking until we made it official in April of 2023. We met at our university in my hometown. Last summer we were LD for 3 months as he went back to his hometown or the summer. We he came back to campus in august of 2023 for the fall semester one day I was using his phone and I saw a message he sent to a girl from his HS. I know who this girl is because when we first started dating we had the ex conversation and he told me that he’s never had a real gf before (I’m his first gf) but that he was friends with a girl in HS (we’ll call her Rose) and that they messed around a bit and almost had sex a few times but never did. This girl is the closest thing he has to an ex. I saw that he texted her at the end of May. He texted her at 2:53am on a Wednesday saying “hey stranger” and she said “whats up wyd texting at 3am?” He said “what’s wrong with that I was just trying to see what you’ve been up to” she said “I’ve been good you?” And he said “I’ve been alright just haven’t heard from you in a minute” she said “what’s up though” and he said “nothing I was just trying to catch up since I’m back in town”she said “catch up how?” She said “I figured😭 catch up how” and he said “what are you doing next week?” She said “what day next week?” And he said “idk like Wednesday” and she said “what’s happening?” And he said “nothing we could just hang out” and she said “if I don’t work I’m down” then he said “oh you still work at Walmart” and she said “nah” he said “oh word where you work at now” and she said “in my business” & he said “see you play too much” and she said “don’t worry ab all that” he said “ I’m not trying to be in your business I was just curious“ then She said “next what I be doing” he said “you’re acting like I’m a fan or something I’m just making conversation” and she said “I meant what have you been doing” and he said “shit I’ve been at school nothing different really” then she said, “so how are you mentally physically emotionally” and he said “ mentally pretty much the same as always and physically, you’re the judge of that and emotionally im the same as always” and she said “what do you mean im the judge of it? He said “do I look good or not thats the physical” and she said “ I didn’t mean it like that but that’s good also” then he replied with “😂😂😂” and then he said “how have you been physically emotionally mentally” and she said “like shit but I’ll be ok I’m gonna sleep though I’m tired” and he replied the next day saying “wdym like shit what happened” and she said “I don’t rlly want to talk ab it” he said “you sure” and she said “yes” then he replies a day later and says “alright best to you then” and she said “you too” This conversation happened over the course of 5 days (the response times were long). When I read this part of the conversation I thought it was weird that he was messaging her to hangout since we were in a full on relationship at this point and from what he had told me they weren’t really friends anymore and didn’t really talk aside from happy birthday texts. I knew this was true because their messages from before his “hey stranger” text to her on may 24th were very seldom and were just her texting him “hey stranger” like back in 2022 randomly and her sending him happy birthday for his birthday in November 2022 and him saying happy birthday back to her in April of 2023. So when I was reading the conversation up until this point I thought it was kind of weird that he messaged asking to hangout bc it seemed random and the fact that he texted her at 3am seemed like the stereotypical booty call time to text to me which made me kind of wonder if he was messaging her to try to hook up. I also thought it was weird how he tried to subtly ask her how she thought he looked physically when she asked him how he’s doing mentally physically and emotionally, almost as if he was trying to make it about physical appearance. I also didn’t like how when she asked him how he’s been doing he said “nothing different really” as if he didn’t just get into a whole relationship with me 2 months before this text conversation with her took place. It made me feel weird that he didn’t use that as an opportunity to say he has a gf now. But nothing up until this point in the conversation was overtly flirty or weird. But then I kept reading and saw that a week later on June 2nd he replied to her story of a selfie she posted and said “damn” and she said “what” and he said “you know what” and she said “I don’t” and he said “you’re looking good that’s what” and she said “thanks😂” then on June 3rd he replies to a selfie she posted on her story again and says “ I know I already said this but damn girl” and she never responded back. At this point I was like wtf bc it seems like he was obviously trying to flirt with her because he literally slid up on her selfies (I saw the posts bc she put them on her IG highlight from the days he replied to her story) saying damn. Those messages are what ultimately made me ask him why he messaged her and if he was trying to meet up with her while he was back in his hometown to fuck because him replying to her stories seemed like flirting to me. He told me that the reason he messaged her at 3am in the first place is because him and his friend (who also went to their HS and lives in his hometown) were on the game late into the night and were talking about getting together as a friend group and going downtown and riding scooters. He said they were talking about inviting rose since she was a part of their friend group so while he was in a PlayStation party with his friend he messaged her. I asked him if he was hitting her up to try to meet up and hook up with her while he was in his hometown and he said he had no he was honestly just messaging her because of what him and his friend were talking about and that when he asked her to hangout he was referring to the group hangout. He said when he slid up on her story he was just joking around with her the way they used to joke around and that Rose knows he’s not flirting with her since that’s always how they used to joke around. He admitted that since he’s in a relationship now he shouldn’t have been joking around with her in the same way he used to when he was single and said he’s sorry for that but insists that he was not trying to flirt with her or meet up with her one on one and had no intention of trying to have sex with her. I asked him why he didn’t say he has a gf when she asked how he’s been and he said he just wasn’t thinking about it and that he should’ve brought it up and apologized for that as well. I asked him many times on several different occasions from when he got back to our university in August until probably around December if he was just having a horny moment late at night when he texted her and to just be honest with me and I would understand. He insisted that he was not trying to be flirty with her and wasn’t texting her to try to meet up and fuck. He holds to same story every time I ask him about it. Now several months have gone by and there has been absolutely no communication between the two of them. He unfollowed her when this happened and removed her as a follower. However this incident has still stayed in my mind because deep down I feel like he was reaching out because he was trying to flirt and was trying to cheat. I feel like if he really was messaging her to hangout as a group with his friend and their other friends from HS he would’ve mentioned that in the texts. He said she knew that he was referring to hanging out as a whole group but I don’t understand how she’d know that if he didn’t bring it up specifically. But at the same time I don’t understand why he’d still lie to me about it at this point. Other than this one incident my boyfriend has always been loyal and says he’d never cheat. I believe him as he’s never given me any other signs that he would cheat. But I can’t help but feel like he’s not being honest with me about what his true intentions were in messaging Rose last summer. I was thinking of sending Rose a dm on IG asking her what her opinion was on why he was messaging her and what she thought his intentions were for texting her but I’m not sure if this is a good idea. Idk how she would react or if I should message her and ask this at all. I also was thinking of asking her to send him a dm flirting with him and asking him to meet up to test his loyalty and have her send me the screenshots of what he says. Do you think my boyfriend is telling the truth and I should just move forward since this was almost a year ago or do you think he’s lying to me about what his true intentions were in texting Rose and should I message her asking her what she thought he was doing by texting her?

Hi reddit, my (26M) Fiance (25F) and I will be eloping in 2 days. We made the decision to elope for a couple reasons, we are private people and don't like being the center of attention, didn't want the stress of a wedding, cost, and avoiding potential family drama. Our immediate families have been supportive of us doing a private ceremony between the two of us. We are going to the local rose garden and having an officiant tie the knot for us and then taking some photos afterwards. The next morning we will be flying to Punta Cana for a 7 day honeymoon. We are extremely excited and cant wait to be married! Three weeks after we will be hosting my immediately family from out of town and her immediately family to have a backyard party/celebration. We have some other fun things planned with the families so they can meet and we can still celebrate with them.
Extended families (Aunts, Uncles, cousins, etc.) aren't invited, while we would have loved to celebrate with everyone, we kept going back to the origional reasons we chose to elope and that's why we kept it to immediate family.
We asked everyone special in our lives to write a letter that we can open on the day of our elopement, we thought it would be a cool experience. We didn't asked for any money or gifts and didn't expect them, but we know we will be receiving money from what some people have said. While we didn't ask for anything we certainly appreciate if people choose to send money/gifts.
One thing I have been thinking about quite a lot was the etiquette on calling people, everyone knows the date of our elopement since we are doing the letters, and some people will be sending money. I wanted to express gratitude for everyone showing support and any gifts, but we will also be celebrating just the two of us that afternoon/evening and flying out the next morning at 6am. Would it be acceptable to send a text like the one copied below and then call people when we get back from the honeymoon? We would customize it for each person, this is just a template/idea.
"Thank you so much for sending us the card and ___! That was extremely generous of you and we really appreciate it! we are happy to announce that we have officially tied the knot earlier this afternoon and we are currently preparing for our honeymoon in Punta Cana tomorrow morning. We will call you as soon as we get back to catch up!
Thank you again, that was too much, we really appreciate all of your love and support and look forward to catching up soon!"
What are your thoughts?

(I'm sorry but I decided to delete the post because a weirdo started to just spam my private messages with different accounts and I don't know if I can put the account on private or something like that, I don't use this site too much but a bot started sending me messages asking if I needed help so I think my account could get banned because of that person doing this and I'm too old for this so I just rather post the update here where i can at least close the comments. Guess the post will be here if someone cares)
I've been thinking a lot and in fact I'm the AH because of the way I treated my wife, Even if most of the comments agreed with me, I don't think it was right to say that to the woman I love even though I was angry.
I apologized to her for what I said and the way I said it but I told her that I don't like it when she ignores me and gives me the cold shoulder when I try to talk about our issues and the fact that she denied the familiarity between our son and daughter was just cruel, she apologized for it and said she was angry and said things she regret.
I made it clear to her that Anna is coming because no one can forbid any of my children to live with me, Not only morally, but legally I am totally obligated to give my daughter and son a house, she tried to argue but I asked her how she would feel if we divorced and my new girlfriend refuses to let our son live with me just because she didn't sign up for it. I asked her if she would appreciate a man who abandons his children for a woman more than a man who cares about his children, if she would feel confident knowing that she is married to a man who abandons his children that easily.
My wife said no, that obviously she knows how much I care about our children and hates the kind of mans who abandons their kids, that she knew she wanted to have a child with me because she saw how even though my daughter was so far away I made video calls to her every day and we always help each other with things around the house. Then I asked her why she rejects the idea of my daughter being here and she admitted being jealous of Anna, it is something that I have noticed in the past. For example, for one of my daughter's birthday I sent money to her mother to buy her a dress that was quite expensive and my wife just said 'I guess you will buy our son something just as expensive' it was my mistake to let those comments pass and think they were just a weird joke.
She said that she doesn't want my daughter to come and took time away from our son, that bothered me and I told her that if we had two children my time would also be divided and that as a father I can give the same attention to both, Changing our routine doesn't have to be a negative thing and she knows that Ana is not a problem teenager.
We talked a lot And I explained to her that I just want to make everything work for both of us, I apologized if I made her feel bad with the way I treated her, and I told her that I want to really hear what things are bothering her so we can understand each other better, we agreed to have better dialogue and communication about this kind of things. My wife admitted that her jealousy is wrong and feels embarrassed about it but it's how she feels and she feels awful for feeling like that, I told her that feeling isn't right, being jealous of my daughter isn't right and I told her that it would be okay to start going to the psychologist if we want to fix this because I'm not going to leave my daughter live in a place where she doesn't feel loved, my wife accepted after talking about it a lot these days and she wants to work on herself about that because doesn't like feeling like that about a little girl and knows it's wrong.
My wife and daughter always had a nice treatment, when I make video calls with Anna, my wife usually talks a little but not that much, I think my mistake was not offering my wife to make video calls alone with Anna like Anna does with my toddler sometimes. My daughter really likes my wife and calls her 'auntie' even if they don't know each other too well, so I don't want her to know how my wife really feels about her.
I offered my wife to teach her how to play the same video game I play with my daughter so they can play together and get to know each other more, I know Ana would love that! They both have a lot of same intereses, she accepted and said she loves me and wants to try it for me and for our toddler.
If I leave my wife I would be breaking my son's house, he's my baby too and the last thing I want is letting adult matters affect him, I don't want to do that and I love this woman, I want this to work and I'm going to do my part for it but the first moment she treats my daughter badly, I will end things with her and I clarified that to her and she was right with that and promised me to work on this.
I still haven't confirmed anything to Ana's mother about the date on which our daughter can come since I need to fix the room for her first and I want my wife and little girl to get to know each other better, talking about it with my psychologist, he told me that the best thing is always to get them closer little by little before Ana comes to live here. This last four days my wife and Ana have been talking longer and I told Ana that we could teach my wife how to play with us, Ana feels really comfortable talking with my wife and they started talking about random things which I feel out of because I don't understand about the things they talk about, but I'm pretty glad to see that they actually have things to talk about.
I suppose a lot of people are going to call me an idiot for not divorcing my wife because that was what most of the comments told me, but it's not all that simple as "Yeah, we argued so let's get divorced and have 50/50 of custody" And I personally think it's been better for us to have spoken up like mature people instead of just getting divorced. Seeing that my wife has opened up to me and is trying to work things out, I prefer to give this a second chance and hope that she can see my daughter as her friend and even as her family if she allows it to herself. "Your wife is going to treat your daughter badly" No one can read the future to say that but I can work to make that future not happen, in the meantime I prefer to maintain a positive approach since my wife has never behaved badly with my daughter and my daughter knows that if she feels uncomfortable, she knows she can talk about it with her mom, stepdad, or me as we always teach her to talk to us about anything that makes her uncomfortable. Ana has a sharp tongue so I doubt she'll stay quiet if my wife makes any comments that make her uncomfortable.
I'm not going to force them to be bestfriends, I want them both to flow on their own. I'm also not going to use my daughter as a free babysitter as many in the comments suggested as a supposed solution And both she and her brother can live in this house as long as they want.
Edit: In the previous post several people said that my wife also made a post here but it's false, she doesn't use this site
Edit: I don't understand why, but I've been getting a lot of Notifications from that bot from a redditor who thinks I need help and private spam messages from different accounts created literally today. I really don't know who's doing this and I don't understand what's the fun of annoying like that, just block me.

So I was on this friendship app. And I met this guy who was 45 years old. I'm 23 and just move to this big city. My intention of using the app was to meet friends who could show me around the city, and that's what I put in my profile. I'm also struggling with my finances as this is the first time i've ever moved out and my parents aren't helping as much as I would like them too. So we start chatting. And he says that he is a single man who has a daughter and he is a realtor and so I look up his name and He is legit. He has been in business for over 20 years. So a few weeks go by And the conversation gets sexual. We are sending dirty pictures and dirty text messages. A few days ago before we met in person, I looked his name up on facebook and I found out that he was married with a new born baby. So I confront him asking him why he lied about it, and he said that he didn't think that I would have sex with him if I knew he was married. And I told him no, I'm not gonna have sex with you because you're married. He then goes to say that in his 15 years of marriage him and his wife had have have had sex a handful of times and that he has never cheated on his wife, but he's thinking about cheating on his wife because he just can't go without sex any longer. He says he will give me a large sum of money if I had sex with him. So I agreed. He takes me to one of the homes that he's showing and shows me around. And then we start doing the deed. About 20 minutes later I hear a door open as the door's opening, he let's out a loud moan. I hear someone say hello, "anybody in here". So we both scramble to get our clothes back on. And the lady(another realtor)comes into the room, as we're getting our clothes back on and then she leaves abruptly. As we are leaving the house, he gives me a kiss and gives me my money. I get in my car and I look up through the window and I see that the lady saw the exchange of money and the kiss. It's been a few days since that has happened and I as well as he are still shaken up about it. He says he doesn't think that the realtor that came in would say anything or do anything, but he doesn't know for sure. In essence, I'm not risking anything, but he is risking everything. Losing his 15 year marriage to a woman that he claims to love. If this gets out the worst that would happen to me is I would be exposed. But the worst that would happen to him is his entire life would essentially be ruined. He could potentially lose clients, never gain clients in the future, etc. He recently text me saying that he wants to meet again, but either at my house or a hotel. I'm not sure what I'm going to do because the money was great. It was enough to pay for my expensive rent and groceries for the next 2 weeks. He said he's willing to give me the same amount which would then go to pay for medical bills. His reasoning for giving me the money was because he knows that i'm struggling and that he's the only one really willing to help me. Well that's it... That's my confession. I guess leave in the comments what you think do you think. Do you guys think I should meet him again? Or should I just cut it off while I still can and while virtually, nobody knows....

Previous post
I had the call with him today. 5 minutes of talking is utter stupidity to know or assess someone. I take back some of the things that I had written about the guy in my previous post.
Monday evening around 7pm is when the guy and his family visited our house. Around 10 pm, I got a FB request from him. Tuesday around 10 am I had a mail saying someone read my articles on Research gate. The notification showed his face.
He had texted asking for a call, to which I had replied I was having a busy day and that I would text him the time. My work went on till 9 pm and I was with the leadership team, so I couldn't take any calls. I was keeping him informed of the same and that the day has been pretty hectic and probably we would have to shift the phone call to today at around 9.15 pm. He asks if we can talk at 10 pm. I mean seriously. I just told him I had a long day and he still wants to talk?
Cut to today - His message "?". I mean wtf dude. This is a 33 yo PhD guy. Doesn't have the manners to type a proper message. I didn't reply, naturally. He then sends a message "Hello, can we talk?" I told him I have a couple of meetings to attend and post that I'll be free and I'll text him the time. Again messages after half an hour if my meetings are over. At this point I'm losing my cool and also considering his POV since we couldn't talk yesterday. I texted him I'll call soon. He has texted my father asking about my work timings. Wtf seriously. I mean, my parents won't ask twice what my work timings are. And I had informed him very clearly about the nature of my work which is quite dynamic and we don't have fixed timings, which is why I'd inform him about my free time and if that suits him we could talk.
Then he puts a message saying he's going out after xx.yy pm time and he'd like to have the call before that. So my work timings won't matter but I've to stick to his leisure time? Wow
I called him before the xx.yy pm time. His opening "I've 2 questions. 1. Are you okay to relocate to ABC city? What are your job prospects here? 2. What is your plan when there's pregnancy? What about your job?"
I was surprised to say anything coz usually you make the other person comfortable (goes both ways) before shooting such serious questions. My mind was blank. Aren't you supposed to know the person well enough to ask such questions? Or atleast comfortable enough?
He has zero interest in knowing anything about me. Has no sense how to communicate either via texts/calls. Stalks everywhere on social media. Cribs like a kid to my father. Has no decency to make the woman feel comfortable before asking questions about family and kids.
I had a bit of hope about him looking at his biodata and his height. I don't think I'd want to talk to him again.

Hey guys!! Been a fan for a long time, I love watching the show! Never really catch your lives because its night here, but I watch it the next day, however long those are, also love the comments and the engagement this community has!
So, I am in a mooooood today, and I feel like sharing my week, mostly because I recieved some texts I feel like should be read and made fun of (sorry if that sounds mean)
I am an anthropologist (29f) doing my doctorate and I have been doing fieldwork, which means i meet a lot of people, and I ask them to introduce me to other people. Due to the context i am working on, this means i meet a lot of older males (i work with fishing communities). they are usually very nice, very sweet and respectful, treat me as a daughter or grandaughter even, some add me on facebook. I have gotten close over the years with some, especially a 87 year old friend whom i call frequently just to check up on him, just as an example
two weeks ago i met this fisherman (48M) who i created a good friendship with, we became close, and he asked for my number so we can arrange lunch with his dad. great! Also it became clear from the beginning that this person is very in need to chat. Which is great since i am a quiet person, but we are talking full monologues. Almost never did this person ask something about me, or if he did he would interrupt. Which is fine, i dont give many details unless i am asked. this might sound weird but it is important to establish trust. Last week i spent my whole week in the field. The conversation also evolved to him complaining about his marriage, since the wife is drunk. I said something about being a clear pattern since his mother was also an alcoholic and he now thinks im some sort of psyquiatrist, even called me late at night one day to complain she was drunk. I should not have picked up the phone, I know
So a few months ago i was invited from a foreign university to attend a writting retreat with other academics, financed by this university, which is a great opportunity. I even sold my taylor swift eras tour concert because i decided to attend this retreat and had my plane tickets already
BUT MY VISA WAS DENIED. and i am now pissed at life and trying to figure it out. also this weekend had a funeral for another fisher friend who was 73 , so i havent been in the right headspace maybe thats why i am making this crazier than it is, you'll be the judge
This fisher (48M) was with me when i got the visa email last week, so that situation in my life he knows about
But i am teaching a class tomorrow, and dealing with this visa thing so I haven't been to the field this week (today is wednesday). And i got these texts from the fisher (i am going to translate them AND KEEPING THE DOTS)
Keep in mind he texted me something about drinking tea and i ignored him because it was sunday and he got mad btw. these were send yesterday
"May i know whats up with you? hello..." (didnt respond) "I just missed you... You havent said anything....thats all.... oh well....I guess i got used to you..... you're right.... forget it... it's fine... kiss"
my response: "you're right? forget it?" what? I am working
"You're right...... im sorry.... I thought about you 500 times today, and I know how you must be busy and worried... but i thought you might want to talk to be.... get it off your chest... I was wrong... its fine... I won't bother you....take care..."
I MEAN WHAT sounds like a 15 year old insecure boyfriend, this man has a wife and two kids and hasnt met me longer than two weeks
and the dots, wtf
I will start focusing on other people on my friendwork, this is crazy
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest and wish me luck with... well, life

When it comes to dates, the universe has been a Turkish ice cream man to me. So here I am, looking to finally grab the ice cream.
What am I looking for? A spontaneous date, meeting someone new, really getting to know them and not just scratching the surface, exploring a nice café or maybe attend an event or explore something new in the city. I'm also open to something as simple as having ice cream on the beach. All I want, is someone to talk to. You know, those judgement free conversations where you're simply vibing and relating to everything the other person says? That. And no, before you suggest, I'm not resorting to dating apps for this.
Who am I? I'm just your usual 27 year old who tends to overshare sometimes, but you already know that by now... Not gonna dive to deep in my hobbies and whatnot because I've done that numerous times in other posts. But here's something about me. I like making efforts for the people I like, I'm hardworking, and I don't like leaving things incomplete. My decisions can be emotionally driven sometimes, and I'm not a good liar. That also means, I can be hurtfully honest at times, but I do try my best to make up for it if the person in question is important to me.
That's just a teeny tiny window into my personality. If you're intuitive enough, maybe you can pick up a few more things from my previous posts, but there sure is a lot more to explore. And well, I'm somewhat of an explorer myself too, when it comes to places and people that interest me.
If any of the above made you feel absolutely anything, even a faintest bit of intrigue, you should not shy away from sending a text. As for the evening plans, I'm flexible, and making you feel safe is my top priority. Photo verification is a hard pre requisite before meeting. And it goes without saying, we'll meet at a public place.
When? If you're adventurous enough to plan something today (Wednesday), I'm in. But I do understand if you want to test waters first before making plans. All I ask is, to communicate your intentions clearly and not ghost if you change your mind about meeting. I do realise it's a long post but if you've read this far, you already know we'll hit it off quite well. What are you waiting for then? Hit the chat button and send a text asap. Who knows what the universe has in the bag for us?

2 weeks ago my ex broke up with me, he said he didnt feel the extra, or something was missing. It happen one day after i caught him texting his ex girlfriend and asked him about it. He broke up with me after paying a huge date, comedy show, bar bills, a restaurant and he broke up with me. I simply said "ok i would have work on us, but i will respect your decision" and walked away. Started no contact 20 mins later. Not to get him back. The disrespect was the closure for me.
I can't express how good i feel since. I think it was for the best. I dont stay where im not appreciated. I dont feel like i lost anything. I feel relief he is gone. Im the dumpee. So i reached out to my therapist, she knows i myself thought of breaking up often. But i also wanted to be respectful since he was going throught a lot with finances and his sick mom. But he was texting his ex every two days but didnt want to tell her about me. Claiming they were friends but not enough to tell her about his new relationship. She looked at my profil a couple of time, i bet she knew... anyway I was suprised he gave up on us. Things seems fine before he said he chose me... He told me i was his best sex, that he was super attracted to me, that he was enjoying his time with me always but was just not feeling it. It could be true who knows, but i think it has everything to do with his sms exchange with his ex.
Im very secure with myself and i know my worth. It took me two days to grief and kill my ego. And realize i was not losing anything. He never showed me how special i was. So who lost who? But he was losing a caring, genuine and invested girlfriend, willing to work on us and giving. So i honestly feel fine. I never reached out, for me it's done. I lowkey like breakups because for me i dont stay where im not appreicated. So breakups means a new chapter is starting.
1 week and a half into no contact he texted me to ask how i was. That he was in lost of words, that he wanted to reached out sooner but didn't know what to say. And to tell me i had stuffs at his place. That he really hoped i was okay... To arrange the exchange of personal belongings.
Since he said during the breakup that he didnt value me, i dont feel like investing any energy into this man no more. So i simply answered with "Yeah cool, let me know when" and he never replied to my text. Now im not really in any hurry to get my stuffs back plus my friends could get it for me, since im on my way to Tokyo (some much needed alone time). But why did he act so caring to not respond. His friends are watching my IG stories and i just hope things wont drag. I want all this to be over and pour all my good vibes on me and the loving people of my life.
I dont really think of that on a daily basis, but i'm on the plane and i have 22h for myself. I thought asking for advices here would be helpful. How can i get my stuffs back? Why is he dragging the whole process, he couls have just say when and everything would be done like he wanted. He has to live with the consequences of his actions and that means losing me obviously. You can't say to a woman who respect herself that you didn't value her and probably used me for sex to be in 6 months relationship and admit he didnt see me, to stay in your life.
I won't reached out now, since i already answered and planning my trip sounds more fun. My main focus isnt on this. But will he ever respond so all this is done for both. Like what's up with that?
Ps. English is not my first language. Thank you!

I'm alone. All my life I've been able to make friends. But I always lose them, in third grade, I lost my two best friends because they switched schools and we just fell out of touch, in fifth grade I lost all my friends except for three, though this was also because of them moving, I made more friends in sixth grade and we remained friends for a good while. Freshman year my best friend from kindergarten and I stopped talking, she texted me one day saying that she didn't actually like me, and she never wanted to talk to me again. That hurt a lot, I got over it in about eight months and eventually was able to stop thinking about her everyday, and seeing her at school didn't bother me as much.
February the next year came, one year since my previous best friend and I stopped talking, maybe it got in my head, and I had been starting to feel suffocated by my current best friend at the time, I loved her, but she kept hurting me by not acknowledging my presence when we were in groups, no matter how hard I tried to contribute to the conversation, she kept leaving me and I just wanted a break from feeling like I was nothing to her. I just wanted some space. But I totally went about it in the wrong way. I picked a fight for no reason and said some awful things that I regret with every fiber of my being. At first, we stopped talking for a couple weeks, and I made two new friends, but soon after my best friend sent me an email telling me everything that was wrong with me, overbearing, pushy, and more I can't remember well, and I agree with her now, I've grown a lot and if she had said those thing recently, I could have come to terms with what she was saying, the things she pointed out were valid points that I should have looked into more, but I got defensive, this was when I thought she didn't want to be friends anymore because it sounded like she hated so many things about me... then what was there to like?
She had texted me a night before and said that she wanted to talk to me, with a specific teacher as a mediator, I refused, I am a very very private person and I do not like to share my feelings with anyone I'm not used to being around, and I wasn't yet familiar with this teacher. I told my friend that if she really didn't want to be friends anymore, that I would respect her decision. I was trying to protect myself, trying to make sure I broke it off before she did, I hate that my brain went there immediately. I wish I had tried to fight for her. She screamed at me while I sat there in a sort of calm daze, which completely gave off the impression that I didn't care... but I cared so much, she told me that I was self-sabotaging and was throwing away something that hadn't gone bad, she was screaming so loud, a teacher came in and told he she was disrupting classes, she was escorted out of the room and I heard her crying, and as soon as she left the room I burst out in tears too.
Our mutual friends, which was only two people, but they were my only other friends, stopped talking to me, and only hung out with her, but we were never on bad terms. I am beginning to resent them though. We stopped talking completely and soon summer vacation came. My cat died, I moved out of my narcissistic mother's house to my Dad's house, and his girlfriend accused me of stealing money, which I didn't, but my father took her side anyway and the entire time I was there they kept trying to blame things on me, and continuously scorned me for being antisocial, so eventually I moved out again when my father and I got in a huge fight, and I haven't talked to him since. I worked 80 hour weeks during the summer at two jobs, trying to keep my mind off my friend, my dad, and stay away from my mom, but it was okay because I had three friends who were from Mongolia, and two friends who were from Turkey working the same exact hours as me. But near the end of the summer, my two Turkish friends and I decided to plan a trip to go to Florida, I asked my mom and after some convincing she finally agreed, we got plane tickets, booked hotels, got car rental stuff, but the night before I left, my mom told me I wasn't allowed to go anymore, she has done this multiple times, but not of this magnitude, I told her that we had already paid for everything, but she told me that if I left, she would call the cops on me.
So I texted my Turkish friends and I told them what happened, but they wouldn't believe me... they blamed me and said "did you tell your mom?" I told them that I did, but they swore that I was lying, they told everyone, including my three Mongolian friends, so in the last month that my foreign friends were in the country, they all hated me, treated me terribly, constantly gave me dirty looks, and were scornful. It broke my heart, especially because they were so kind before, if I can make the kindest person hate me... then what kind of monster am I?
Finally, I came back to school, and it was so much harder than I thought it would be, seeing her everyday, happy with her friends while I sat there, alone and in misery, I had a couple friends, but they weren't in many of my classes. I was able to hold out for so long. One day I just couldn't take it anymore. I just completely gave up, seeing her was too much to bear, she didn't care about me anymore, I didn't have any close friends, just people who wouldn't really care if I lived or died. Everyday was a struggle. I stopped going to school, stopped going to work, and just curled up in my bed and decided that I had enough. I was on a course to graduate that year, a whole year early which got screwed up as well, ruining my chances of doing so.
I skipped work for almost three weeks, but I eventually came back because my boss said she missed me and reassured me that no body was mad. I haven't been to school in about two months, I don't know how I could go back anymore, it would be humiliating... like, what would I say? What if people asked questions? I'd just come off as so pathetic. I've ruined my life, I have little chance of a diploma, and no chance if I don't go back, I've been labeled as "truancy" or whatever. I was also supposed to go to Spain and Italy for a school trip, but I wasn't able to go because of my lack of attendance, so I ended up wasting 4,000 dollars.
My two friends that I made after my last best friend and I broke up called the cops on me because she thought I was going to kill myself, and I was so mad and embarrassed I cried the whole way to the hospital with my mom in the car and was able to go back home after some tests, after I got home, I went off on them, I was so so upset, and I honestly still am, I know they were only doing what they thought best, but I told her that I didn't want to talk to her until she would apologize, because all she kept saying was "I'm sorry you feel that way" so I told her to stop apologizing for how I felt, and apologize for what she did. She didn't, so I told her that I wasn't going to talk to her until she apologized. And the other friend who was in on it too, I texted her angrily and she said "womp womp" I immediately blocked her, I was so mad, words cannot describe my level of fury at that moment. It wasn't funny, that was not the time for jokes.
I have no friends, only my narcissistic mother, I don't even have a father anymore, my oldest sister isn't in contact with him either, for a different reason... I've just been working, and trying not to think. But I can't take it anymore. Have I really screwed everything up? Is my life worth anything anymore? Friendship is dead. Family is overrated, and I have never been able to keep a friend, I do not want the pain of loosing another one, I have people who I enjoy being around, I have coworkers, I have my sisters, and I have two people I hang out with sometimes, but really, none of them are my friends. I never want to make another friend, I refuse, I know they consider me their friends, but if I put a real label on it, it'll hurt too much when they leave and begin to hate me. What do I do? Am I destined for failure? Why do I always end up alone? Not only does everyone hate me, but I'm hating myself more and more by the passing day. I don't know what to do... can somebody, anybody help me? I'm just so lost.

My whole life i have lied about things big and small but ive never had any intentions behind lying, such as to manipulate people or to get attention ect.. (this might be a long read but it’s all important info)
It started of as small things like in elementary school we were watching a video about professional bastekballers, i lied and said one of them was my cousin. I didn’t do it to get attention i just did and i don’t know why. (Obviously no one believed me)
One time in elementary, i was scratched by my dog and sent a picture of it to my friend saying “My dog scratched me” but in those quotes, implying that i SH. (It looked like if u scratch urself w ur fingernail) they obviously got very upset and our friendship ended,,not before me messaging her on PINTEREST apologising. I don’t know why i did that i just did it without any thoughts of “i shouldn’t send this” it was just impulsive/reflex. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then i started to lie more frequently e.g., if someone asked me a question like “ Have you ever done..{insert topic},or have u ever watched {insert topic}” i would respond w a lie. Those are just examples because i can’t remember every single lie i’ve told especially small ones. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As i’ve gotten older, i’m 19 now. I’ve lied about more extreme things.
I can’t remember much of my childhood, only “core” memories that randomly pop up in my mind; but i don’t have a concept of time w these memories,, idk how old i was when they happened. if i see a picture or if someone in my family mentions a story i can then remember it but only with the detail they provide.
For some background information, i have been verbally abused by my mother and she has suffered with depression and ‘manic??’ episodes my whole life.
When i was younger our relationship was very bad (still is) and we would get into yelling matches almost every day. These were me being yelled at for doing normal things a CHILD would do such as, sleeping in on accident, forgetting to bring something to school ect. And practically any chance she would get to have an argument with me.
She would scream things like “Your worthless, your useless , your a b*tch and ungrateful child, your fucked in the head” ect. She would say things along those lines to me almost every day for several years of my life. I couldn’t give you an age timeline as i can’t remember how old i was when it started happening.
I also have an older brother who’s always have a good relationship w my mum, she only treats me like this (i’m austisic and i’ve been told that’s why we “clash”) My mum was physically abused as a child and homeless around my age. She definitely hasn’t “healed” from it and still doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions and communicate effectively. My dad excuses her behaviour when i try to talk about how it has affected me by saying “it’s the depression, or the way her childhood was and she tries to be better!, she regrets what she says to me and loves me so much” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now to probably the worst lie i’ve told. I need to tell some background info tho for it to make sense! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It all happened when i was on 🍃 and at a park with a group of people,, two of my close friends, let’s call them G & B, G’s boyfriend J. 4 guys friends w J including K who G worked with and i was “close with” for 6 months. i will try not to go into lots of detail bcoz if i did this post would be super long.
K was very manipulative towards me, well that is what my two friends G & B would tell me. I could provide screenshots of me and K’s conversations but i won’t, to protect privacy. Me and B hung out with K a few times to sesh and i would talk to K frequently on snap mostly about mental health related things.
He let me vent and explain how i felt and would give me advice as he was older, more experienced and struggled himself. I had a crush on him, he didn’t like me back but we stayed friends.
I discovered i didn’t actually like him and it was just Limerance. We had lots of arguments i can’t remember what about bcoz there was so many. One i remember was he dropped my friend B because she had BPD like him but “didn’t try to manage herself”; not related to that, i started to feel a sense of “hatred” towards B and the way they treated me as a friend in certain situations. I would complain abt them to K often and K would tell me to drop B. i did this while i was still best friends with B.
Me and B’ friendship almost ended because K told them to like get a grip and manage their BPD and treat me better. I liked to B and told them “i’ve never told K anything bad abt them only abt one situation which i’m over and i told u i told K. “ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Summary of it all i’m no longer friends w K and no one ik has been for a good 7-8 months. I will include some “quotes” they said to me in one our last convo (there was another situation after this but if i include it’ll be too long) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I know that to you, you genuinely think all of the stuff you said was happening is, that's how mental illness works cos i was the same” ; “This is so funny that you think it's somehow my responsibility to control your emotions and attachments”
“You just expect me to cut u off and somehow manage ur attachment for you, you need to manage ur own attachments” ; “You usually accuse me of things unjustly but i've done that to ppl before when i was your age so i understood” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After some thought i realise that K might’ve been right about me and my friends were (partially) wrong abt him being manipulative and a bad person. Yes they’ve seen the texts and conversations and the quotes above.
It’s eating at me that i acted this way towards K because it’s embarrassing.
I have to end this story here because it’ll get to long even tho i want to include it all!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to the park. We were all talking abt life events that have happened to us and i told everyone there that i “had a huge secret ive never told anyone”.
“When i was a young child my dad told my mum to get bread out of the freezer to defrost and then make my sandwich for school. When my dad had left my mum complained and started yelling at me because I’m old enough to make my own goddam food. It got heated and she threw the loaf of bread at this glass cabinet i was next to, the glass shattered everywhere and cut my foot. i started to cry and scream, which made her angrier. She picked up a shard and tried to un*live me.” i won’t go into detail of the last bit of the lie i said.
Now this did actually happen apart form the very last bit. When i was telling this lie i didn’t have any intentions behind making it up. It just all came to me and out of my mouth as i was saying it,, kinda like i was read a book and just continuing to read.
I understand that this isn’t something to be lied about. I knew i was lying when i said it/after. I cannot tell people that it is a lie especially because i am still friends with G & B. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last week i had a conversation with B about it as i mentioned i think i want to start going to therapy.
My reason for wanting to start therapy (this isn’t the only reason why i want to go and not the only time i’ve considered it) was that i got so annoyed by something my mum had done i was thinking everything would be better if she was just 💀. And how i went spiraling wondering if i was a psychopath for thinking/imagining me doing it.
My friend told me that im not a psychopath because i wouldn’t m*rder my mother cold blooded and have no remorse. And something along the lines of she hasn’t done anything to drive me to do that. I brought up the “Incident” (the lie) and B asked me to say what happened again because they forgot.
I told it in the same detail as i did to them before but i said “it’s kinda uncomfortable to type” they said it’s okay i don’t have to ( keep in mind my friend has experienced very traumatic things and wouldn’t get uncomfortable with hearing) and you saying that it’s uncomfortable proves ur not a psychopath.
It wasn’t uncomfortable for me to say, i felt awkward because i knew i was lying again. I know that no one “normal” lies about things like this.
I most of the lies i’ve told especially this one because i have to live with this now for the rest of my life. Telling my friends the truth is not an option, i don’t know how they would react and i would end up with no friends, isolated and excluded from society around me. Maybe that is what i deserve because I’ve lied abt something so horrible and intricately aswell.
I’ve also lied about being SA, i have never falsely accused anyone. I told the lie without saying the “person” who did it because i “didn’t know”. I regret doing this and if i could go back and somehow pause the part of my brain that wires me to lie i would.
I don’t think i’m a psychopath, i have empathy for others,,atleast i think it do?? I tell my friends and family that i love them and display affection towards people. I’ve been in multiple romantic situationships but never a proper relationship.
The idea of cuddling with a partner, talking to them every day and doing lovey dovey couples stuff makes me uncomfortable and i would be awkward doing so.
I’ve always had to question if i actually liked/loved someone as i know the definition of loving someone and how it’s shown but i don’t know if i feel it. I don’t know how to tell if i feel love or how to tell if i like someone romantically.
I do have autism which can be linked with a lack of empathy. Now that i think about it i can’t tell if I’m empathetic. My dad had skin cancer and had to have reconstruction surgery for it, i didn’t feel sad at the possibility of him dying or from seeing him in the hospital bed.
When we visited him my other family members were crying or very emotional. It’s not that i wished he had cancer and died i just didn’t feel any sort of emotion toward it.
My best-friends, i love them dearly? if either of them died i would definitely be sad, but I’m not sure if my “feeling sad” is the “normal” like if they passed away i would miss them giving me advice, conversations, moments and hangouts together and the fact we couldn’t make anymore memories.
I feel a deep connection with animals and love to be in their presence. although when i was very young after seeing my mum always kick, punch or push my pets for their “bad behaviour “ when my cat broke something in my room i attempted to str*ngle it. I regret that deeply and would never do that ever again. Ever. If i had to chose between never doing that and erasing my existence i would.
I guess what i’m asking is if anyone who has similar experience of lying without knowing why or if anyone has any advice on what i should do please help!
I understand a therapist would be good to tell this all too but i am afraid of the consequences/admitting i lied about horrible things. I know that im a horrible person for doing this, i dont think better of myself for lying.
i would do absolutely anything to go back and have never told a lie.
If anyone can help me i would really appreciate it and definitely implement strategies to become a better person and hopefully never lie again.
If anyone has an idea of whats “Wrong with me” please share, be harsh, be honest, be mean if you want to. If there is “something wrong with me” i will definitely try to get professional help when i can or is there a much harder way to resolve “myself” on my own.