Capitalization high school games

is it just me or are PC update sizes like unreasonably large, it’s like i’m reinstalling the game every time i need to play, two days ago i had a 60gb update and today i have a 59gb update and i don’t understand why, i have directx12 shaders and high res textures unchecked too

Me: Wouldn't it be fun to wait to post this in the summer so you can say happy Christmas in July for once? Also me: that's a terrible joke. Just publish the thing.
Apologies for publishing in 2 parts. I'm not trying to drag it out I'm just aware this is the length of 2 episodes, reddit will only allow me 20 pics per post, and there's just too much going on for our beloved idiot in this one, so. I'm pacing myself.
It's not Christmas in July, it's Christmas 1919 at Downton and I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering if Mr Fellowes really wants me to believe that the Crawleys decorated the Goliath of Christmas trees themselves (they didn't, but I like that Mary was sipping her tea and offering her view on things. Queen👑 ).
Plus, the setup for this episode intro had an actual checklist:
Tree? Check
Family arriving? Check
Violet judging this year's Christmas cards and looking for the contenders for worst cards of the year (they judge them on both content, and actual card)? Check
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Anna gets a gold heart brooch from Mary and Mrs Hughes is as excited about it as she is. Also, I can see the inspo for the entire Anna/Mary tag on AO3 right here. And Mrs Hughes ships it.
Just kidding, Bates is in prison, and we're all very sad.
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Carlisle is wondering why the Crawleys are being kind to their servants by letting them have some time off at lunchtime on Christmas Day, and I'm wondering if anyone (namely, us, the viewers) is supposed to be surprised by his behaviour.
I mean, blackmailing Lavinia just because? Blackmailing Mary into an engagement with him? Trying to manipulate Anna and Carson? Being physically abusive to Mary, and trying to control her life and behaviour? Bringing Lavinia back to "sacrifice" her to a lifetime as Matthew's nurse, so Mary won't spend that much time with Matthew (not because there was something off about that, just that Carlisle didn't want her to)?
He is an asshole. He was an asshole. He will always be an asshole. Glad we're finally all on the same page.
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Matthew and Mary are exchanging presents behind Robert's head in one scene and I'm very upset by it. Please, if anyone has any ideas, submit what you think they got each other for Christmas.
If you need any inspiration, here's what people would buy each other as presents in the 1920s according to the British Newspaper Archives:
Lots of cigarette paraphernalia Cocktails Banjos PENCILS Dance Frocks Shaving Kits Vacuum Cleaners
Keep that list in mind if you're disappointed with your presents next year.
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Matthew got a telephone call telling him that Mr Swire is very ill, and he will got to London to visit him. Mary gives him some condolences and he says "I'm sorry if I'm casting a gloom". I have a feeling the poor man had been pretty depressed for quite long, probably perked up a bit for Christmas and thought he was bringing the mood down again, but Mary responds with compassion. Oh Matthew.
Carlisle saw Mary go after Matthew in the hall, to ask about Mr Swire, and literally took his newspaper with him and followed her out there because that's completely normal behaviour. Just picture the ridiculousness of it: Mary and Matthew talking about Mr Swire and Bates' trial, romantic themes that they are, and Carlisle is so annoyed by it he's standing there in the background. Reading a newspaper, just to make sure they know he's still around (who could forget, mate).
Also, Mary saying she'll attend Bates' trial to support Anna, and Matthew immediately going "Would you like me to go with you?". Because of course he wants to support Mary in all things.
And this is Matthew's first villainous act for the episode: He asks Carlisle "or will YOU do that?" as in, since you're here, will you be supporting Mary in this endeavour.
Of course he isn't. Carlisle could never understand the concept of being there as emotional support for a Servant. He can't even understand why one would give a servant a few hours off on Christmas Day.
And just like that, Matthew scores one point in showcasing that Carlisle is a waste of space.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 1
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Btw, Matthew has a few sets of looks reserved for Carlisle: Derision, derision, and more derision.
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They're playing charades (aka The Game), Mary is mimicking falling down, Matthew has a front row seat to it, and they're not playing on the same team so she can't rely on him to guess. Which means he can sit back and have the time of his life.
Carlisle complains about not liking the game and I'm left to wonder why he wanted that life so much since he could find nothing to enjoy in it.
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Mary IS still trying with him, however. He complains again on New Years Eve about the servants having some time off, and she reasons that it only happens twice a year, and he complains again that she doesn't understand because she didn't have to work for what she has.
Fellowes finally does the work on these two. I was having a conversation with another user recently, who was wondering why Mary picked Carlisle when she could have picked someone like Evelyn Napier.
Let's forget the Pamuk Scandal for a moment. Mary clearly wanted something more other than a traditional marriage. When we meet her, she's 21. She already has a husband in her pocket, if all she wanted was a position in society and a title, she'd have already been married to Patrick in 1912. But clearly, she wanted more out of life than to be someone's wife.
She wanted love, and she wanted to have something to do, whatever that was. She would have found both in Matthew, if things hadn't gone to complete shit, so why not consider Carlisle (back when he seemed normal)?
He was a working, self-made man, so he was interesting to her. He wasn't the run-of-the-mill rich boy she'd been exposed to her entire life, and if she married him she'd have a job in establishing him in London society and helping him build his empire. She'd Work, in short. She'd be allowed to use her brain.
But they don't match. At all. He offered her a marriage of convenience, and then was upset that she loved someone else, when Carlisle never offered her love in the first place. She wanted to be able to go about her life, he wanted her under his thumb to do his bidding. She was raised to have a certain respect for other people (e.g. the servants in the house), he thought that because he had money he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.
In short, they don't work together. Not even taking into account he was blackmailing her with a scandal, and Matthew was off stage left being Villainous (according to Carlisle. Villain, Perseus, it's all a matter of perspective.)
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I love how they contrast Carlisle's ruthlessness with Matthew's compassion (and look how she looks up to him). Because Matthew is also a working man, but he's kind. And even though he didn't have any connection to mr Swire anymore, he stood by him in his hour of need, to the bitter end.
Speaking of contrasting Carlisle's assholery to Matthew:
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Rosamund's WhatsHisFace of a suitor points out there's only three women following the shoot, and they should divide their time between the men taking part in said shoot (God forbid women are not around to entertain these assholes gents). Carlisle immediately rebuffs him before Mary can get a word in, saying "Lady Mary will stand by ME". Mary is about to, very politely, put him in his place, when Matthew comes in for his second act of Villainy so far, saying "I thought you said you'd stand by me for the first shoot, isn't that what you said?"
He doesn't push her to go with him, he's just giving her an exit plan. So that Mary doesn't have to bring herself in an awkward position in front of all those people, to defend her right to an opinion. And Mary takes it. Of course she does. She can show Carlisle he doesn't get to dictate what she does, and do so in a way that doesn't create gossip.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 2
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Look how he looks at her. He's so happy she took him up on it. Whatever else happened beyond this, they were friends. He cared for her, and she cared for him. And he has her back here, and she accepted it, so easily. And that made him happy (and so, so smug. A true Villain).
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She loves how un-selfconscious he is. She's always loved it, all those years ago at the flower show when he'd mock himself for her benefit, to make her laugh. He does it here still but now she's not surprised by it, just endlessly fond. Dozens of men spent years showing off their (probably mediocre) skills, to win her favour, and of course she'd fall for the guy who was just being honest. Mary likes honesty, she never got much of it. Her world is a show of mirrors where nothing is what it seems, and it must have been so refreshing to be with someone who was exactly what he showed the world. It's only sad that it took her so long to realise that just as she loved him for who he was, he'd do the same. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
"He does rather beg to be teased" - this asshole has been deliberately messing with Carlisle for ages, hasn't he. I've only counted 2 Villainy points, but I bet he earned himself dozens before. Whenever he'd get pissed off at something Carlisle said he'd just whisk Mary away, just to show him that he could, even if Carlisle was the fiance, Matthew was still an important person in her life, and he'd always be, and he made sure Carlisle knew that (and took great, great enjoyment in it).
Mary: The awful truth is, he’s starting to get on my nerves. Still, you’re not the person to burden with that.
Matthew: You’re still going to marry him, though.
Mary: Of course. Why wouldn’t I.
Matthew is not happy about this. He appears to not understand it, and I wish I could give him a a nice shake. Regardless of the information he doesn't have, Matthew, mate, it's not like she hasn't met other men. Like it or not, most of your lot back in the day belonged in the bin.
And Mary, as a high-society woman, didn't have a lot of options. She had to get married. And at least Carlisle wanted to buy Haxby, she'd be near her family, spend time in London. Before she'd have hoped to actually get some work done, within the capacity her marriage would allow her, but with things being as they are with Carlisle I think she's now hoping he'd be busy with his work and she could get on with her days and maybe not see much of him, as most couples of their class did. And that's not taking into account the actual reason why Mary thinks she absolutely Must marry Carlisle.
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Also, Matthew, let's not pretend you'd like any man she brought home. So either take a deep breath and confess some things, or get on with it.
Carlisle asks Mary why she and Matthew were laughing together. He asks "Am I never to be free of him?" and her answer is, of course not. Because, of course not. First of all, sorry to say Richard, but, they're a package deal.
I can't see either one of them giving up the other willingly, not after all this. But of course, the main thing is the aristocracy thing. He's the head of the family, you'll see A Lot of Matthew, if you and Mary get married. And Matthew has spent almost every minute of the episode so far making sure Richard knows this. One would say, he's trying to push him out (like a villain), through his sheer presence in Mary's life.
"I might understand if you let me think for a solitary minute that you preferred my company to his."
Here's another problem: He should know, this wasn't part of their terms. Of course, he's not an aristocrat, so he's not aware of how loveless marriages of convenience work, but since it WAS a loveless marriage of convenience he was offering, I wonder why THE FUCK, he demands her attention now.
Mary would perform her duty to him. She'd be the best hostess London ever saw. She'd be the pretty wife on his arm, and she'd charm his contacts, and she'd be the stepping stone for him to be accepted in aristocratic circles, and she'd give him children and hold his house. And yes, she'd love spending time with her family, and that included Matthew.
Richard is just being a petty, controlling, fuck. Because he wants more than she's willing to offer, and he wants more than what he'd originally asked. So he, can shove it.
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Richard: I’ve done everything I can to please you.
Mary: Do you mean you bought a large and rather vulgar house?
Richard: You cannot talk to me like that! What have I done to deserve it? What?!
Would you like a list of your crimes, Richard? I've posted it a bit further above.
Also, Mary. She was hoping he'd offer her an interesting life (before he turned out to be an asshole). But all he's offered so far is the same old bullshit she's been offered all her life: A big empty (emotionless) house.
A demanding husband. A life full of constraints and limitations, set to her by a husband who expects to dictate everything she does.
It's at this point that Matthew, clearly the villain of the story, shows up because he hears Richard yelling at Mary and that just won't do.
My beloved idiot covers for Richard here. And she does it because of something she said to Matthew before "He's starting to get on my nerves, but you're not the person to burden with that."
She doesn't want Matthew to feel like he has to come to her rescue. She heard him, when he told her they can't be together (many times) in the previous episodes. And she loves him, so she's let him be. She knows he's got his own troubles, that he's been through a lot, and that shows with how she watches him walk away with a fair bit of worry in her eyes. Plus, she doesn't want him to do anything for her out of obligation. She just wants them to be friends, and friends don't solve your marital (or, in this case, pre-marital) problems. They can provide comedic relief, and support, but that's about it.
And as we said, Matthew is clearly the villain of this story.
Speaking of which, Matthew interrupted Richard's yelling at Mary so, I guess that means - Matthew's Villainy points so far: 3
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Speaking of friends: Matthew will be there, for Mary (and Anna) at Bates' trial, and Mary asks to be there when he brings back Mr Swire's ashes, since the man wanted to be buried next to his daughter (who had to be buried at Downton, and not near her home in London, for maximum guilt-trip points I guess).
I love how those two care, and support each other in difficult times. It IS what friends do. Of course, Carlisle is not happy about that either. And listen, if he was in love with Mary, I'd be very understanding. I'd be telling him to cut his losses and run. I'd be empathising. But I'm like, you've been an absolute tool for years now mate, how am I supposed to see your POV, when you're basically worrying that if those two, at some point, get their heads out of their asses and realise they make a great couple, you'll lose your trophy wife you've trapped in a marriage, through sheer luck (on your end).
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Carlisle, after that entire day of watching Mary and Matthew having a nice time out with the family, pressures Mary to set a wedding date. Mary wants to wait, I guess she hopes for some godly intervention because she definitely doesn't see any other way out of her current situation, and he goes so far as to literally grab her, and in front of her family too.
I'm finally not the only one who wants to shoot him dead. Of course, Robert won't do anything about it because when has Robert ever done anything for Mary (so far), but Matthew looks tempted.
(I had to cut out poor Carson because there's too many people on this frame as it is, but shout out to him for also worriedly watching in the background).
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Matthew: Mary. Can I help?
Mary: After today, I won’t insult you by asking what you mean.
Matthew: You don’t have to marry him, you know. You don’t have to marry anyone. You’ll always have a home here as long as I’m alive.
First of all, I LOVE, that his reaction was to ignore Carlisle, run after Mary, and ask her if he can help. He's not offering to be a saviour. Mary doesn't need one of those (she does need to find that steel in her spine though). But he's offering to support her, and he says it in a way that implies he'd do pretty much anything she asked (Do you want to poison him? I'll help carry him to the pigs pen).
Second of all, Matthew, you absolute Idiot.
Mary supporting you in your grief, you supporting her with Bates' trial, that's normal friend behaviour.
You telling her she can LIVE with you forever, and so she doesn't have to Marry Any Man, is so, so dumb.
What is she going to live with you as, Matthew? Your cousin again? Where is the cousinl-y behaviour line drawn? Private dinners? Maybe with some candles and soft music? Holidays in Europe together?
Also, where is that imaginary limit you've put to your happiness with her for the sake of Lavinia's (very real, according to canon) ghost, mate?
You clearly seem happy enough to spend time with Mary, support her, laugh with her. Is it just the romance that's killing your mood?
Is it that that's the harshest punishment Matthew could imagine, spending his life next to Mary without actually spending his life WITH her, or is it that in spite of how much he wanted to suffer for his mistake, he just couldn't bring himself to cut ties entirely? Or is it that her happiness was more important than his self-imposed martyrdom, so he couldn't keep himself away and let her throw away her life for God knows what (her own mistake, is the answer, because they both like making themselves suffer for past sins. They've got A LOT in common).
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Mary: Didn’t the war teach you never to make promises? And anyway, you’re wrong. I do have to marry him.
Matthew: But why? Not to prove you’ve broken with me, surely? We know where we stand. We’ve no need for...gestures.
Mary: If I told you the reason, you’d despise me, and that I really couldn’t bear.
She makes me so sad. She's so certain she'll be ruined and kicked out of her house if the scandal ever came out.
And I get it. It was how she'd been raised. And all she's heard so far is how she's "a slut" and "damaged goods" and Mary's self-image is in tatters. She doesn't view herself as anyone worth fighting for, she doesn't want anyone else to fight for her, and she won't even fight for herself, and to me that's the saddest part of all.
She's entirely defeated, has been for a long time. This entire season. She's taken every blow and hasn't dodged them at all. Welcoming Lavinia, accepting Matthew as a friend and nothing more. Being by his side when he got injured, taking care of him and accepting his rejection without a peep. Listening to him announce his wedding and helping Lavinia plan it. Baring herself to Carlisle, giving him "the tools to destroy her", willingly, to salvage the family name, and to help Bates. And later letting Matthew call her, and himself "cursed", and walking away from it, somehow. Probably because she believes it.
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She told Carson, after Pamuk died, that "she knows what it means to be happy, but she knows she herself will never be happy" and she has proved to have embraced that sentiment, fully. Her despair back then is reflected here. Mary is not looking for happiness. She's just looking for cover. Some place where she can be sure she won't be hurt anymore.
She didn't believe that would be in a marriage with Matthew, and Matthew's strict morals so far, and his own self-hatred, have only further proven to her that she had been correct. She thinks that if Matthew can't excuse himself a kiss with a woman he loved, he won't ever excuse her having sex with a man she didn't love. And for all the unhappiness, all the cold comfort she sees in her future, she at least has his friendship. And how could she ever risk losing that? What would she be left with? Who else is there in the world, that supports her like he has? Her mother, who brought back Lavinia to push her away from Matthew? Her father? Who values the family above all else? Nothing. And no one. Just Matthew.
So she can bear Carlisle's cruelty, his moods and his demands. And she can bear the thought of living life on his arm to be paraded around London society for his benefit. But she can't bear the thought of Matthew thinking ill of her. Can't bear having him look at her the way her mother, or her sister did. And she's so honest here in her pain. She hasn't shown any of it, of the backloads of it, to anyone other than Anna, all season. But she can't keep it in now, after all that, in front of Matthew.
My poor broken child 💔
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She hears Cora yell her name and there's despair in her eyes. Even now she has family obligations to fulfil, so whatever emotional breakthrough she could have made, gets interrupted because heaven forbid she's not there for the Crawleys to play card games with.
Before I forget, Matthew goes after Mary, hoping to help her in her hour of need therefore, Matthew's Villainy points so far: 4
Matthew directs that accusatory look to Cora and I'm so proud of him for that. Cora's involvement in Mary's life has been nothing short of catastrophic. With her only saving grace being the fact that she wasn't actually willing to throw her daughter out of her house. I don't know how she gets to be so worried about the situation now, considering it's, largely, of her own making.
This whole season has been about pain and loss, in its various forms. And Mary's has been largely contained, because that's who she is, she keeps everything close to her heart, especially the things that hurt her. But it's all spilling out in this episode. There's so many things she can't contain, like Carlisle's jealousy, her own grief, at this point, after so many years. And for all those who look, it's the most obvious thing in the world, that Mary is suffering.
Well. Almost all.
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Robert calls Carlisle grabbing Mary in front of her family "an awkward moment", and calls Mary "tired" of Carlisle.
Yes, Robert. Of all the things Mary is feeling at the moment, tiredness is one of them. Not sure if it's the most obvious one, but with you I've learned to bring a small basket.
He also, unlike Matthew, doesn't respect Mary enough to go up to her and ask her if she needs anything from, idk, her father. Some help, some advice. He asks his wife to tell him if he's overlooked anything, and how is the answer to that not "Pretty much everything that's ever happened in this house".
And at this point, I will leave you, because we're half way through and I've already hit both my word, and my image limit. The first one is self-imposed, for the second one, send your grievances @ reddit.

There’s so much that I’ve let slide because of trauma. I spent most of my life just fawning. I had to say and do whatever I could to get my mother to talk to me again when I was a child even if I knew I wasn’t wrong. I had to do the same to my father to get him to lower his voice. I still have to for a verbally abusive grandparent. And even with people in high school, all opinions, all thoughts would go out of the window to appease those who were mistreating me.
Even friends who don’t currently mistreat me, I find myself mindlessly agreeing to whatever they’re saying to appease them. I have my own opinions that I share with them but sometimes I catch myself doing this and I hate it and have to remind myself to stop.
I’ve never dated anyone up to this point and I’m so afraid of what I might let slide because of how I’ve been brought up. I'm trying so hard to work on this, but it's so woven into my body and mind that I don't even notice sometimes.

Hello, I'm selling my mATX PC that I built in November of 2023. Reason for selling despite it working flawlessly is that I'm moving and trying to get some extra money to help with the move. The PC works flawlessly on 4k 144hz and looks amazing. With the all black build, you can customize the lighting of the Lian Li fans/GPU to obtain pretty much any color scheme you would like. Controlling RGB with L-Connect 3 and EXPERTOOL from Gainward.
Looking to sell local for $3000 ZIP: 78215 San Antonio, TX area
Timestamps

• GPU: Gainward GeForce RTX 4090 Phantom GS 24GB GDDR6X PCI-Express Graphics Card
• CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 7800X3D 8-Core, 16-Thread Desktop Processor
• CPU COOLER: EK Nucleus AIO CR240 Dark All-in-One Liquid CPU Cooler
• RAM: G.SKILL Flare X5 Series (AMD Expo) DDR5 RAM 64GB (2x32GB) 6000MT/s CL30-40-40-96 1.40V Desktop Computer Memory UDIMM - Matte Black (F5-6000J3040G32GX2-FX5)
• SSD: WD_BLACK 4TB SN850X NVMe Internal Gaming SSD Solid State Drive - Gen4 PCIe, M.2 2280, Up to 7,300 MB/s - WDS400T2X0E
• MOBO: ASUS ROG Crosshair X670E Gene WiFi 6E Socket AM5(LGA 1718) Ryzen 7000 mATX Gaming Motherboard (16+2 Power Stages, PCIe® 5.0, DDR5,USB 3.2 Gen 2x2 Front-Panel, USB4® Ports, Wi-Fi 6E)
• PSU: Seasonic VERTEX GX-1200, 1200W 80+ Gold, ATX 3.0 & PCIe 5.0 Ready, Full-Modular, ATX Form Factor
• CASE: Fractal Design Pop Mini Air RGB Black TG mATX High-Airflow Clear Tempered Glass Window Tower Computer Case
• CASE FANS: 5x Lian Li SL-INFINITY 120 RGB
• CABLES: CableMod RT-Series ModMesh Black

This is the list of what bracelets I’m going to make. How many colored beads would I need approximately? I’m going to color code each album to its color.
Taylor Swift 1. Tim McGraw 2. Picture To Burn 3. Teardrops On My Guitar 4. A Place In This World 5. Cold As You 6. The Outside 7. Tied Together With A Smile 8. Stay Beautiful 9. Should’ve Said No 10. Mary’s Song 11. Our Song 12. I’m Only Me When I’m With You 13. Invisible 14. A Perfectly Good Heart
Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 15. Fearless 16. Fifteen 17. Love Story 18. Hey Stephen 19. White Horse 20. You Belong With Me 21. Breathe 22. Tell Me Why 23. You’re Not Sorry 24. The Way I Loved You 25. Forever & Always 26. Come In With The Rain 27. Superstar 28. The Other Side Of The Door 29. Today Was A Fairytale 30. You All Over Me 31. Mr Perfectly Fine 32. We Were Happy 33. That’s When 34. Don’t You 35. Bye Bye Baby 36. If This Was A Movie 37. Change
Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) 38. Mine 39. Sparks Fly 40. Back To December 41. Speak Now 42. Dear John 43. Mean 44. The Story Of Us 45. Never Grow Up 46. Enchanted 47. Better Than Revenge 48. Innocent 49. Haunted 50. Last Kiss 51. Long Live 52. Ours 53. Superman 54. Electric Touch 55. When Emma Falls In Love 56. I Can See You 57. Castles Crumbling 58. Foolish One 59. Timeless
Red (Taylor’s Version) 60. State Of Grace 61. Red 62. Treacherous 63. I Knew You Were Trouble 64. All Too Well 65. 22 66. I Almost Do 67. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together 68. Stay Stay Stay 69. The Last Time 70. Holy Beautiful 71. Sad Beautiful Tragic 72. The Lucky One 73. Everything Has Changed 74. Starlight 75. Begin Again 76. The Moment I Knew 77. Come Back…Be Here 78. Girl At Home 79. Ronan 80. Better Man 81. Nothing New 82. Babe 83. Message In A Bottle 84. I Bet You Think About Me 85. Forever Winter 86. Run 87. The Very First Night 88. All Too Well (10 Minute Version) 89. Eyes Open 90. Safe & Sound
1989 (Taylor’s Version) 91. Welcome To New York 92. Blank Space 93. Style 94. Out Of The Woods 95. All You Had To Do Was Stay 96. Shake It Off 97. I Wish You Would 98. Bad Blood 99. Wildest Dreams 100. How You Get The Girl 101. This Love 102. I Know Places 103. Clean 104. Wonderland 105. You Are In Love 106. New Romantics 107. Slut 108. Say Don’t Go 109. Now That We Don’t Talk 110. Suburban Legends 111. Is It Over Now
Reputation 112. Ready For It 113. Endgame 114. I Did Something Bad 115. Don’t Blame Me 116. Delicate 117. Look What You Made Me Do 118. So It Goes 119. Gorgeous 120. Getaway Car 121. King Of My Heart 122. Dancing With Our Hands Tied 123. Dress 124. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things 125. Call It What You Want 126. New Year’s Day
Lover 127. I Forgot That You Existed 128. Cruel Summer 129. Lover 130. The Man 131. The Archer 132. I Think He Knows 133. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince 134. Paper Rings 135. Cornelia Street 136. Death By A Thousand Cuts 137. London Boy 138. Soon You’ll Get Better 139. False God 140. You Need To Calm Down 141. Afterglow 142. Me 143. It’s Nice To Have A Friend 144. Daylight 145. All Of The Girls You Loved Before
Folklore 146. The 1 147. Cardigan 148. The Last Great American Dynasty 149. Exile 150. My Tears Ricochet 151. Mirrorball 152. Seven 153. August 154. This Is Me Trying 155. Illicit Affairs 156. Invisible String 157. Mad Woman 158. Epiphany 159. Betty 160. Peace 161. Hoax 162. The Lakes
Evermore 163. Willow 164. Champagne Problems 165. Gold Rush 166. Tis The Damn Season 167. Tolerate It 168. No Body No Crime 169. Happiness 170. Dorothea 171. Coney Island 172. Ivy 173. Cowboy Like Me 174. Long Story Short 175. Marjorie 176. Closure 177. Evermore 178. Right Where You Left Me 179. It’s Time To Go
Midnights 180. Lavender Haze 181. Maroon 182. Anti Hero 183. Snow On The Beach 184. You’re On Your Own Kid 185. Midnight Rain 186. Question 187. Vigilante Shit 188. Bejeweled 189. Labyrinth 190. Karma 191. Sweet Nothing 192. Mastermind 193. The Great War 194. Bigger Than The Whole Sky 195. Paris 196. High Infidelity 197. Glitch 198. Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve 199. Dear Reader 200. Hits Different
The Tortured Poets Department 201. Fortnight 202. The Tortured Poets Department 203. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 204. Down Bad 205. So Long London 206. But Daddy I Love Him 207. Fresh Out The Slammer 208. Florida 209. Guilty As Sin 210. Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me 211. I Can Fix Him No Really I Can 212. LOML 213. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart 214. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived 215. The Alchemy 216. Clara Bow 217. The Black Dog 218. I’mGonnaGetYouBack 219. The Albatross 220. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus 221. How Did It End 222. So High School 223. I Hate It Here 224. Thank You Aimee 225. I Look In People’s Windows 226. The Prophecy 227. Cassandra 228. Peter 229. The Bolter 230. Robin 231. The Manuscript
Other 232. Taylor Swift 233. Debut 234. Fearless TV 235. Speak Now TV 236. Red TV 237. 1989 TV 238. Reputation 239. Folklore 240. Evermore 241. Midnights 242. TTPD 243. Eras Tour 244. 123 LGB 245. Fuck The Patriarchy 246. Ur Gay 247. Taylor’s Version 248. 13 249. Junior Jewels 250. You’ll Be The Prince 251. I’ll Be The Princess 252. Wonderstruck 253. Loving Him Was Red 254. Losing Him Was Blue 255. Missing Him Was Dark Grey 256. Sad Girl Autumn 257. Who’s Taylor Swift Anyway 258. ATWTMVFTVSGAVRALPS (All Too Well Ten Minute Version From The Vault Sad Girl Autumn Version Recorded At Long Pond Studios) 259. Ratatata 260. I ❤️ TS 261. Me Hee Hee 262. Karma Is The Guy On The Chiefs 263. Screaming Crying Throwing Up 264. Jan Ravnik 265. I’m Having A Menty B Hee Hee 266. Benjamin Button 267. Meredith Grey 268. Olivia Benson 269. Errors Tour 270. Died Dead 271. TSwizzle 272. YFYFBYNLIT (you forgive you grifter but you never let it go) 273. Take us to church 274. Swiftie 275. I’ll Be 87 You’ll Be 89 276. LVIII Super Bowl Champions 277. Tayvis 278. Folkmore 279. Everlore 280. It’s Been a Long Time Coming 281. What If I Told You I’m Back 282. It’s Fearless 283. Big Reputation 284. And They Said Speak Now 285. Into Folklore 286. My Name Is Taylor And I Was Born In 1989 287. Meet Me At Midnight 288. This Isn’t The One I Wanted 289. Ever Needy Ever Lovely Jewel 290. Alls Well It Ends Well 291. I Hate All Kanyes 292. El Travador 293. My Brain Is Alive 294. Who’s Taylor Swift Anyway 295. Not A Lot Going On At The Moment 296. A Lot Going On At The Moment 297. Blue Jays 298. Toronto N6 299. I’m The Problem 300. Welcome To The Eras Tour

I (F17) had this best friend (also F17) since 2021, and we were very close friends. We only had 1 subject together but we had hours of it a few days a week so we talked a lot and laughed during all of them. We made some great memories. But we never got to hang out outside of high school the whole time we were friends. We finished high school in the summer of of 2022, and after that we went to different colleges (UK college, not university). We stayed in touch obviously, but it was less than the HOURS we would stay up talking. Which was bound to happen. During high school, I think a couple times we reached the 4AM/5AM mark whilst texting. She made me feel like nobody else did, we never ever had stupid arguments and we understood each other. There was 1 time where we had a whole classroom to ourselves and we had a great time that day too, and during that day there was one point where I misheard her thinking she said "how bi do you think I am" and she laughed a lot more than I thought she would because I didn't even think it was that funny. We eventually hung out 1 time in December of 2022, but haven't seen each other since. Of course we slowly started drifting apart, weeks turned into months without talking, but we never missed special milestones (birthdays) and we'd check up on each other randomly after long periods of time. She doesn't follow that many people on Instagram, but she really loves LGBTQ TV shows. I know straight allies can love gay shows too but she follows Heartstopper cast members and Young Royals cast members too. I drew this weird character ages ago and she changed it to her profile picture on two platforms and she STILL hasn't changed it and I think that's so sweet. We've slowly started reaching out some more recently, as I wanted to make sure she's doing well before her A-Levels and she keeps talking about how much she misses me, and I really really want to see her. She started talking about how this small thing reminded her of me and I haven't stopped grinning for the past two hours. My heart is so excited that I haven't even replied yet just because the feeling is so strong. But I don't want to give myself false hope because she might just be incredibly sweet.
By the way, I had a crush on her for a good few months during our time in high school, but it was quite intense by the time we hung out in Dec. 2022. My feelings disappeared shortly after. But now I fear they're strongly returning. Summer is approaching and so is her birthday. I really want to see her, just see her and be in her presence. But I'm scared that I'll fall deeper and she's actually straight.

So on WGU’s website, it states you need a minimum of a 2.0 GPA on transcripts. I don’t have any college courses yet and I had below that GPA in high school.
I was looking into Sophia and Study.com and figured it would be worth a shot especially with free trials.
If I do well on those courses and transfer them to WGU will that qualify as meeting that minimum GPA qualification?

Allow me to introduce myself. I go by Antique Ocelot, a moniker inspired by my love for collecting vintage treasures and my undying affection for our feline companions. Residing in the Central Time Zone, you'll often find me immersed in the worlds of horror games and superhero comics.
First things first, let's ensure we're all on the same page. I'm an adult enthusiast, and while the age of our characters may vary, I prefer my RP partners to be 18+ like myself. It's not about the content; it's about finding kindred spirits who appreciate a mature approach to storytelling.
Inclusivity is paramount to me, and I warmly welcome partners who embrace diversity, including the LGBTQ+ community.
When it comes to out-of-character chatter, count me in! I love connecting with my partners on a personal level, discussing our shared interests, brainstorming ideas, or simply sharing a laugh.
I find myself drawn lately to what people refer to as "comfort" roleplays. This is a type of split roleplay where we each give each other something the other has been craving. It's a concept I find inherently fair, especially when paired with the dynamic nature of doubling. Also, I am more than committed to doing my research for what my partner wants on their side.
I do of course come with a list of fandoms as well. Take a look!
Anime;. hack/SIGN, 20th Century Boys, Air Gear, Assassination Classroom, Astro Boy, Attack on Titan, Azumanga Daioh, Baccano!, Baki The Grappler, Big O, Black Cat, Black Lagoon, Bleach, Blood+, Blue Exorcist, Bungou Stray Dog, Claymore, Cowboy Bebop, Cyborg 009, Death Note, Detective Conan/Case Closed, Digimon, Dogs Bullets and Carnage, Dragon Ball Z, Elfen Lied, Eureka Seven, Evangelion, Excel Saga, Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gakuen Alice, Ghost in the Shell, Girls und Panzer, Gravitation, Gunslinger Girl, Haikyu, Hamtaro, Hellsing, Hetalia - Axis Powers, Highschool of the Dead, Hunter X Hunter, Inazuma Eleven, Infinite Stratos/IS, Inuyasha, Jujutsu Kaisen, K, Kengan Asura, K-ON, Karin. Kill la Kill, Kuroko no Basuke, Lucky Star, Lupin III, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, Monster, My Hero Academia, Naruto, Oban Star-Racers, One Piece, One Punch Man, Ouran High School Host Club, Outlaw Star, Pet Shop of Horrors, Pretty Cure, Puella Magi Madoka, Magica Rosario + Vampire, Rurouni Kenshin, Sailor Moon, Serial Experiments Lain, Shinzo, Soul Eater, Sword Art Online, Toaru Majutsu no Index, Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Mew Mew, Trigun, Trinity Blood, Witch Hunter Robin, Wolf’s Rain, Yu Yu Hakusho, Yu-Gi-Oh, Zatch Bell
Books; Animorphs, Artemis Fowl, Guardian of Ga'Hoole, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Redwall, Silverwing
Cartoons; American Dad, Animaniacs, Avatar the Last Air-Bender, Avengers Assemble, Batman The Animated Series, Ben 10, Danny Phantom, Ed, Edd, N’ Eddy, Family Guy, Generator Rex, Incredible Hulk The Animated Series, Justice League, Kids Next Door, Kim Possible, Looney Tunes, Ninjago, Powerpuff Girls, Rugrats, Scooby Doo, Spectacular Spider-Man, Static Shock, Superman The Animated Series, Teen Titans, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Batman, Thundercats, Tiny Toons Adventures, Totally Spies, Ultimate Spider-Man, Winx Club, X-Men Evolution, X-Men The Animated Series, Young Justice
Comics; Anything DC, Anything Marvel
Films; Terminator, Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, Fast and Furious, Godzilla
Games; Alien Isolation, Batman The Arkham Series, Bio-Shock, BlazeBlue, Call of Duty, Crash Bandicoot, Dead Space, Dead or Alive, Deus Ex, Diablo, Dragon Age, Dragonball Xenoverse, FEAR, Fable, Five Night’s at Freddy’s, Halo, Left 4 Dead, Life is Strange, Mario, Mass Effect, Metro 2033, Mortal Kombat, Outlast, Persona, Pokémon, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Sonic The Hedgehog, Soul Caliber, Spyro the Dragon, Tekken, Telltale Walking Dead, The Elder Scrolls, The Evil Within, The Last of Us, Undertale, Until Dawn, Wolf Among Us

The other night, I cried to the point that my eyelids were swollen the next morning.
There’s nothing that I like about myself. I feel like people think I’m weird. I’m not smart(1000 SAT score), I’m lazy, and I’m not pretty either. I don’t have any passions or hobbies. My room has clothes everywhere and I do my homework at midnight, every night. I used to be able to maintain high A’s; however, I lost so much motivation that my GPA dropped a whole point. I’ll never forget when I tried to drop AP lang, my associate principal looked at my decline in grades and asked “did you give up or something?” I just feel so stupid and I’m angry at myself. I missed school so much that now I’m on credit recovery and I have to make up for the hours I was absent.
My presence is insignificant and it makes no difference if I don’t show up to school, miss the family gathering, or hide in my room upstairs. Even at school with my friends, I feel lonely. I feel like I annoy my friends. School is so mentally draining and I’m counting the days until summer break.
I feel like I’ll never be a functional adult in the future. I have no clue on what I want to do in life and my whole family is pushing this narrative that I need to be a lawyer or doctor; however, I’m so lazy and slow that I can’t even handle junior year of high school.
Sometimes it feels like it would be better if I was never born. My sisters are truly amazing, smart, and dedicated, but I can never be that.
It makes no difference that I am around and frankly, I wouldn’t mind getting in an accident and dying.

Hello everyone, this would be my first official post on this subreddit, and I want to use it to explain how Natsuki Subaru changed me for the better. When I was in middle school things have change so much to me that I couldn't catch up with everyone around me whether grades, friends, or family I felt as I was stuck in a dark loop where I didn't know if I could move on with my life. Things went harder for me when I was in High School when covid had started appearing all over the news and had everything shutdown and we were forced to stay at home and hope this will go over soon. But soon turn to weeks and months and even a year that it made me feel a deeper hole than I could ever be. I didn't know if I even have hope left in me. But that is where he comes into place when I saw trailers for S2 of Re:zero. At first, I wasn't interested with it since I saw Subaru as a good-looking character that is just there to garners some clicks until I saw Mothers Basement Review of Re:zero. And it made me interested in watching it. When I first saw Subaru in action, he was weird, funny, and a bit embarrassing with his character but I know that he means well whenever he wants to save someone. Subaru made me realize more about myself especially when his character was talking to me, whenever he struggles and wants to do with every being of his power to save the people around them because he loves them which not many main characters are transparent with their emotions and wants. I understand with his love, his failure, and his dream where he just wants to be loved with the people he cares about. But above else what truly made me feel as I was a part of him is the dreaded episode where he was begging for Rem to take his hand and take the slothful way out and run from his problems, when she refused claiming that this is not what Subaru would do his mask shattered and we get to witness the ugly truth that has been hidden for so long. His self-hatred had poured liked molten lava as he swore up and down how despicable person he is, how he always makes excuses so that he doesn't have to do his best, and how disgusted that nothing about his existence has changed. When I saw that scene, it made me reflect on my self-hatred and how it feels to be in Subaru position, for a moment I truly felt how hopeless I was, but Natsuki Subaru realized that he cannot stop, he realizes he put too much effort with what he did, and he cannot abandon the people he cares about. But what truly hammers Natsuki Subaru as the greatest character in my eyes is during S2 when he was fighting Garfiel and quote "Whenever you think I want do it! I want to change! Thats where your starting line is". That quote had lit a desire in me that I didn't have in a very long time, fast forward to a couple of years and I am in a much better position than I ever been I graduate high school and doing well in college, granted not every day are great but whenever I feel cornered, I always think what Natsuki Subaru would do, and the answer is always clear, to win for another day. I hope you were all able to finish it to the end and see the gratitude for Subaru and the inspiration he gave me and how I will cheer for him to win his happy ending.

so I just played dbd today after leaving it for over 2 months because of the new chapter and the new mode. I used to play this game 60/40 as a killer main. I played like 10 matches of the modifer so...
it really doesn't matter anymore huh ? tunneling in every match
why ?
cause there's no OTR, DH or DS you silly.
this was a highly requested game mode ffs 😂😂 why is it so hard to take this game as a game and just play "normal" is winning really tha important?

Chapter 5
Lacy opened her eyes and saw flashing colorful lights. She heard carnival music playing from loudspeakers. She wondered to herself what this place was walking around. She saw multiple vendor stands and carnival games. Everything looked abandoned, food dropped on the floor and chairs flipped. She continued walking, finding a carnival ride. It was one of the droppers. Lacy had memories with her mother going on these kinds of rides. She pushed on following the stands until she stumbled upon a circus tent. She stepped inside and saw a man. The man was very tall and was standing in the middle of the tent. The man turned around and the lights to the tent turned on revealing that the man was a clown on stilts. The clown had a white face with a red nose. His hair was red and was split in two making it look like he had horns. He had on an oversized shirt that looked like multiple blue and red shirts stitched together. His pants were baggy and had obvious blood stains. The stilts made him about ten feet tall. The clown wore a frown on his face, giving Lacy a sense of uncertainty. “What's your name little girl, I have all sorts of tricks that can make you laugh.” The clown's voice was goofy and lighthearted compared to the frown on its face that it kept. “Ah come on, don't be shy. We can still have fun. Not like all of the other’s who left.” Lacy noticed a man lying in a pool of blood next to the clown. He was wearing ringmaster attire. The clown noticed that Lacy saw the body. “He didn’t laugh. Just like the others.” The clown's voice had changed. He now sounded like an older man who had given up on feeling joy. “Did you kill that man?” Lacy asked, already knowing the answer. “No. I released him. He didn’t laugh. He had no joy. So I released him.” Lacy began to back off, gripping her knife. The clown revealed a sword it was holding behind his back. It had blood on it. “I’ll release you too”. The clown began stepping towards her, laughing while doing so. “God Dammit not again” Lacy ran throughout the carnival grounds with the clown closely behind her. She noticed a security trailer. She got to the door and it was locked. Hearing the laughter getting closer. She slammed her body into the door until it finally broke open. The laughter ceased. Lacy looked around the office not seeing anything special. Until she saw a tape recorder.
Chapter 6
Lacy grabbed the recorder. “Who would even have time to make these?”
This is Professor Crawdord. I have managed to survive in this obscure world for what feels like multiple days. This new threat, the clown on stilts seems to be less of a problem than he looks. He’s slow compared to other things I have faced. I discovered evidence as to who this person is. His name is Daniel Larson. He worked at the circus for most of his life. One could only imagine the mind of someone who is laughed at all day for most of their lives. On an unfortunate day Larson snapped and murdered a man on the fairgrounds. The man was another attraction. His specialty was swallowing swords and evidence showed that Larson used the sword to kill him. Larson continued killing, focusing on people that would not laugh at his jokes. The Ringmaster called showtime and at the start of the show Larson told him a joke in front of the audience and when the Ringmaster did not respond Larson killed him. The audience rushed out and as the police showed up Larson had disappeared. Upon searching his trailer they found pictures of other unsolved murders in the area. Larson was never caught. I have not figured out exactly what the holes are but I feel that Larson has to be connected somehow. These holes have a requirement to open. A death must take place for them to appear.
Lacy set the tape recorder down understanding now what had to happen. Lacy looked at the knife in her hand. “He’s a murderer. He’s hurt people. I'd be doing the world a favor.” Lacy opened the trailer door and followed the laughter leading to the circus tent.
Chapter 6
Lacy reached the entrance to the tent, peering inside she saw Larson standing over the ringmaster's body. Lacy moved underneath the stands. Larson turned towards the entrance and began walking around the tent. “I know you're here child.” Lacy ran throughout the underside of the stands. Trying to find an angle to see Larson and which direction he was facing. Lacy could see Larson was searching for her. The stilts made him move slow enough for her to sneak up on him easily. Slowly moving throughout the tent, Lacy got close enough behind Larson to hear him mumbling something to himself. Running towards Larson she kicked the stilts causing him to fall to the ground. Lacy took the opportunity to stab the clown in the shoulder. Larson kicked Lacy away and swept the sword in her direction, cutting her on the leg. Lacy turned to run towards the opening of the tent, but Larson grabbed her foot and lifted the sword. “You’ll pay like they did.” Lacy kicked Larson in the face, got up and ran to leave the tent. “DON’T LEAVE! YOU HAVEN'T LAUGHED YET!” Lacy could hear Larson limping behind her, now off the stilts. She ran until she could no longer hear Larson behind her. “The dropper, I can distract him with the dropper.” Lacy avoided Larson, eventually making her way to the dropper. She didn’t know how to work the machine so she had to guess until she got it right. “Come on, you stupid machine.” Pressing multiple buttons, Lacy could hear the laughter of Larson creeping slowly towards her. Finally the ride shot up into the sky. Larson stepped onto the platform of the dropper. “I found you, please stop. I'll lose everything if you don't laugh.” Lacy took notice of the dropper rushing towards the ground. Just as Larson swiped his sword down at Lacy, she dodged out of the way. As Larson tried to get his footing back, she pushed him under the dropper. The machine crushed him ending the vile man’s savage slaughter. Lacy turned around to see at the bottom of the platform a hole had appeared. “Please, let me go home.” Lacy stepped through the hole, once again blacking out.
Chapter 7
Lacy awoke to a wooded area. She noticed a sign that said “The Weeping Woods”. “Where am I? Am I home?” Standing up she followed a trail marked that led to a camping area. She saw multiple benches and what seemed like a campfire that was put out. She continued along the path seeing a fire watch tower in the distance. “Maybe that place has people”. Continuing to the tower she could hear someone crying from a distance. Lacy kept pushing on the trail until she reached the bottom of the watch tower. The stairs felt endless as Lacy could hear the hissing of a radio coming from the room on top.She noticed that one of the stairs as well as the railing was damaged. Lacy skipped that step in fear of it breaking. Reaching the top everything felt nauseatingly small. She could see a light moving in the distance. The light moved erratically as if it was a person holding a flashlight, running away from something. Lacy turned to the watch room and noticed that the lights were on and someone was trying to reach the radio in the room. Pulling open the door she walked up to the radio and as she tried to contact the person on the other side, the radio shut off. Turning to examine the rest of the room Lacy noticed another tape recorder. Grabbing the recorder she pressed play.
I managed to kill the smiling man. I don’t know what it has done to me emotionally. It seemed so easy at the time. I told myself that the man was a beast. Anyway, I awoke in a forest, I found a path and followed it until I found a woman. The woman was sitting in the middle of the path. She was wearing a white dress that was covered in dirt. I could not see her face, but I could hear her. She was crying and her body looked frail. As I got closer I noticed her hair was long enough to cover her entire face. She asked me a question. “Have you seen Kevin?” I had no answer. Fear took over every part of my body. I could feel my muscles start to ache at the thought of having to run from this girl. A loud growl came from the girl. It shaked my very soul. I managed to escape to her. I made my way to the watch room where I will rest for a while. To whoever finds this tape, you know what you have to do.
Lacy put the recorder down. Looking out of the window she saw the light continue to move in the forest before it stopped. As Lacy turned to leave the watch room. The light disappeared.
Chapter 8
Walking along the path that the light she saw was on, Lacy couldn't help but see the image of the girl the Crawford had described in her head. Looking at the knife she still had, she knew there was only one way to get out of this forest. Along the trail Lacy found the light source that she had seen. It belonged to a man that was lying still on the floor. His flashlight was still on. “Hey, are you alright?” Lacy asked the body. Turning the body over Lacy stepped back in horror. The man's body was pale and looked shriveled. Lacy brushed the fear off and picked up his flashlight. As Lacy picked it up she heard a voice from behind her. “Have you seen Kevin?” Fear erupted in Lacy as the words were familiar to her. Remembering the recorder she slowly stood up before turning around to face the being. The girl was exactly as described in the tape. Except for one detail. She had a wedding veil on. “I don’t know who Kevin is, I'm sorry” Lacy said the first thing that came to her mind, instantly regretting it. The girl opened her mouth at an angle that rivaled pythons. A ghastly wail rang out of her mouth, ringing Lacys ears. Without hesitation Lacy plunged the knife into the girl's neck. Pulling it out the wailing did not cease. It didn't affect her. Lacy turned to run, almost tripping over the body of the man. As Lacy was running the girl was on all fours crawling towards her at a faster pace than any normal person could crawl. She looked like an animal. Lacy noticed that the girl was no longer screaming, but was crying. The tears were blood red and she looked sympathetic to Lacy. Running past the trees Lacy looked for an answer to the problem that was crawling behind her. Trying to listen over the sound of her own breathing and the crying of the girl behind her, she heard the sound of a river flowing in the distance. Running towards the sound of the river, Lacy tripped over a log tumbling to the ground. Almost in an instant the girl climbed on top of her. Her eyes met Lacy as her mouth opened in the same disgusting manner that it had before and just as her mouth opened the same way as it had before, the same sound erupted as well. Lacy felt her blood boil at the sound, feeling her life leaving her body. In a final attempt to free herself she freed her hand and stuck the knife directly into the girl's mouth. The girl’s scream stopped and turned into a painful yelp rather than an angry roar. Lacy used the moment to kick the girl off of her and got up to run. As she began to run the girl grabbed her leg, piercing her skin with her nails. Lacy pushed through and kept running. As Lacy was running she turned her head around to see the girl just sitting there, crying. Lacy got a fair distance away and began walking to regain strength. Finally making it to the river, she stopped to drink. Lacy made a sudden realization. She wasn't thirsty. After everything she had been through she was not thirsty at all. Not only was she not thirsty, but she was not hungry either. “I have to come up with a plan”. Lacy understood the rules of this strange place. Something has to die in order for one of those holes to appear. “But I saw that guy's body, why wasn’t there a hole there? No, these beings, Larson, The Smiling Man, This girl, they don’t get to leave. That’s why Crawford said you know what you have to do. The holes appear when the beings in these places die. The girl has to die for a hole to appear.” Lacy was talking outloud, it made her feel less alone. As Lacy was washing the blood off of her she looked into the river. She could see the moon in the reflection as well as her face. Looking into her eyes she noticed a drop hit the river. Looking at the other side of the river. She saw the girl crouching down, looking directly at Lacy with her blood red eyes.
Chapter 9
The river wasn’t wide. It would take the girl less than 5 seconds to cross. Lacy had to think fast. Her mind was racing as the girl just sat there and watched her. An idea popped into her head. The watchtower. Almost supernaturally, as Lacy had the idea the girl lounged towards her. Lacy dodged out of the way and broke into a sprint hearing the girl crying and crawling after her. After what felt like hours of running and having this thing chase after her, she made it to the tower. The girl was crawling after her, looking like an alligator chasing its prey. Stepping onto the steps Lacy felt her legs start to give up. She pushed on, her muscles burning. Turning her head she saw the girl crawling up the stairs. Lacy’s heart was racing as her body needed to rest or it would shut down. “Where is Kevin?” The girl screamed for the first time since she had begun chasing Lacy. Lacy could feel her body giving up and just as she passed the broken step, her legs collapsed. Lacy layed on the steps as the girl crawled up the steps towards her. The girl was crawling slower now that she had seen Lacy was on the ground. Lacy continued backing up on the stairs. Just as the girl was about to lounge at Lacy she put her hand on the broken step. Seeing this Lacy kicked the broken step causing it to break. The girl lost her footing and Lacy pushed her off of the balcony. The girl fell from the immense height of the tower. Lacy took the moment to just lay on the steps. Hours passed as Lacy rested. She mustered up enough strength to go down the stairs. At the bottom of the tower she found the body of the girl. She looked as if all of her bones were broken. Her eyes were open and Lacy could see the blood pooling in them. Lacy became nauseous at the sight of her body. Looking to the left she saw a hole. A hole that was all too familiar with her. Lacy collected her thoughts. “This has to end” Stepping through the hole, only one thing was in her mind. This has to end.
Chapter 10
Lacy woke up to the sound of snow falling. The room that she was in was warm. A fire was crackling in the corner of the room. Looking out of the window of the house she saw a massive snow storm that affected her vision to see past the tree line. Lacy examined her surroundings and saw a normal looking room. In the middle was a couch. Just looking at the couch made Lacy tired. Walking around the cabin she noticed the room looked untouched, unlike every other place she had been in. Sitting down on the couch Lacy's eyes became heavy as she began to fall asleep. Just as she was about to pass out a loud bugle of an elk erupted. Lacy ran to the window to see where it was. As she looked outside it seemed as if the storm had stopped for just a second. As the snow ceased, an elk poked through the tree line. Its eyes were looking directly at Lacy. Just as fast as it disappeared, the snow storm erupted. “You’re a failure Lacy.” A voice swept through the cabin. It sounded familiar. “You killed her you know” Lacy placed the voice. It was her father. Lacy’s mind was racing. How did he get here? Why was he saying this? Where was he? And her last thought, Was this really him? The elk bugle rang throughout the cabin again. “I pitied you” The voice was Collin. Lacy searched the windows of the house trying to find the origin of the voices she was hearing. “Everyone hates you” Lacy stepped towards the door reaching for the handle. A sudden and intense fear brushed over her. Lacy felt that if she opened that door, whatever was telling her these things would take her life. Stepping away from the door she heard the Elk bugle again. “Why did you leave me Lacy?” The voice was her father again. This time it sounded as if he was crying. “I told you I needed you and you left. After everything I sacrificed for you, after all of the times I had to go to that school to bail you out. This is how you repay me.” Lacy could feel her emotions boiling inside of her. Everything that was being said was true in a sense so Lacy was letting it affect her more than anything else ever had. She could feel tears running down her face. “I'm trying to get back to you dad, I just don't know how.” Lacy looked towards the window and saw the Elk. It had gotten closer to the cabin. The snow had calmed down. The Elk opened its mouth and spoke in the voice of her father. “You won’t make it out of this place alive Lacy”.
Chapter 11
Looking into the eyes of the Elk, Lacy’s blood ran cold. Her mind was racing. Animals can’t talk but yet this Elk just looked her in the eyes and spoke in the voice of her father as well as other people she knew. The snow had ceased tremendously compared to when she had first appeared in the cabin. Lacy worked up the courage to ask the Elk a question. “What do you want from me?” The Elk did not reply, instead it turned to the tree line and left. Remembering the rules of this place, Lacy understood that the Elk had to die. The question was how she was going to accomplish that. Lacy gathered enough courage to open the door to examine her surroundings. Outside of the cabin was a blanket of blinding snow. The sun was high in the sky blinding Lacy. Before Lacy went back inside she noticed a wooden stump sticking out of the snow. Sticking out of the stump was an axe. Lacy slammed the door shut and closed the latch. Lacy knew that the dull kitchen knife she had wouldn’t be able to handle an elk, but an axe would. Lacy began to plan a way to get to the Elk. She took notice of certain aspects that the Elk had. Every time it made the bugle noise, it would change voices. The closer it got, the more the snowstorm would calm. Lacy had to play its game until it got close enough to the axe so that she could reach the axe before it could reach her. The elk bugle sounded again. “You really think that anyone thought you could accomplish anything.”. It was her teacher. Lacy peered out of the window. The snow had ceased ever so slightly. Lacy could see the silhouette of the elk near the same spot it was in before. “What do you think, we cared about you? We pitied you and your pitiful existence.” Lacy began to brush off the sentences coming from the elk's mouth. Lacy was contemplating if the axe play was the way to move further. The bugle went off again. “Lacy” the voice was the smiling man. The smiling man was a recent memory to Lacy. This elk had to know who she was to be able to know who he was. Lacy looked out of the window. The elk was watching her. This time Lacy saw it make the awful sound she had continued to hear. Instead of a voice she had heard. It was a voice that was unfamiliar to her. “Why fight it child. Why fight what you truly are. Why fight human nature? Why fight reality? Do you truly think you can escape? Do you truly believe that you will see your father again? Do you believe that you have people to rely on in this place? Do you truly believe that God is with you here? You have no chance. Smite me down if you must. HOPE SHOULD BE ABANDONED IN THIS PLACE” Lacy brushed off every word that was said. Rushing to the door she threw it open. Running through the snow. She reached the axe. It was a standard fire axe with a yellow handle and black blade. It wasn't heavy to her, it had to be adrenaline. Rushing towards the elk it did not fight back. She plunged the axe head into the elk's skull. Blood rushed out of the wound, covering Lacy. The elk fell to the floor with a booming thud. As Lacy stared at the body of the animal lying in the snow, a hole appeared behind her. Lacy had to believe that there was an end to this. She stepped through the hole. With a new found axe.

I posted this to another forum a couple days ago, and a lot of people keep telling me its abuse. I know its not nearly as awful as some of the scenarios here, but I would love some opinions on whats going on. Thank you everyone <3
LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST: https://www.reddit.com/MMFB/comments/1cs5rhd/i_18m_feel_like_my_girlfriend_18f_is_verbally/
For context, I am in University about 50 miles from where she and my parents live, so I commute every weekend and most weekdays to see her. I love her. Plain and simple, in so many ways. We used to work together until she got a better job recently. Yesterday was her birthday. I made her some cookies common in the continent she's from, and baked them into heart shapes. I also got her 25$ of lottery tickets, flowers, her favorite energy drink, and a handwritten card with a lot of writing and drawings of us and her cat. I dropped it off to her in the morning after an all-nighter (going through it with finals and papers right now) and drove to the University to work my full shift. First she texted me thanking me for the gift, then asked me "what the fuck" those cookies were and that she choked on them. I was sad, told her what they were, and she told me I shouldn't have cooked something as a gift since I'm a bad cook. (I am, but I've made other stuff that she liked in the past). She also complained that the whole point of buying lottery tickets is to buy them, not to scratch them (I disagree?). She texted me that I shouldn't have gotten her anything if it was just going to be low effort.
I saw her later that night after she got out of work, and she was mad at me. She said I ruined her birthday by giving such a low effort gift, and that I didn't care about her. She brought up that I ruined her birthday last year too (by not immediately stopping our text conversation about some other girl and wishing her happy birthday the minute it got past midnight). Anytime I responded that I did put effort into the cookies, she would just deny it. Incredibly frustrating since I know how much effort I put in. She was mad the flowers I got her were not in a boquet, only loose, which didn't make it seem like a special occasion. At the heart of it she was mad that my gifts weren't special? To me the card and cookies were plenty special but she just says that it was stuff I've given her other days. She started calling me ret*rded, to which I responded "You're mean to me and I don't like it". I don't remember much of what she said (I'd had 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights), but she doubled down and continued calling me a wide variety of hurtful words, from ret*rded to stupid to childish and immature. I was already long sobbing, and in the middle asked her to just hit me instead. She obviously refused. She asked if I even wanted to go on our trip this upcoming weekend. I responded yes, and she replied that maybe I don't if I don't care about her enough to get her a decent gift.
She's horrifically depressed, and I know she has some specific trauma in response to people not caring about her birthdays. I think that explains part of it. Still, I tried. I am also depressed myself. I've tried bringing it up to her a few times and she responds that I'm "always b*tching too much" because my life is so perfect. Compared to hers its way better, yes, but that doesn't mean I need a reason to be depressed. She's also acted distant the entire Spring semester. I rarely spend time with her, and even more rarely is it time that isn't just "okay we can see each other for 5 minutes but I have to go in". We havent' had sex since January, or cuddling. I very much miss both of these things, and we've had (rare) opportunities for them shes missed because shes too busy sleeping (I'm not allowed in her appartment to join her, mom discovered we had sex).
At the end of being yelled at when she denied me a hug and told me essentially to go away, I had a nervous break. Honestly I've been working too much and I'm overwhelmed with needing to find a new second job and the immense weight of finals and final essays ,things breaking on my car, and now this. I sped off, her and her mom heard my tires squealing and uninvited me from the trip. I drove recklessly for about 2-3 minutes on backroads while scream-crying about killing myself and fighting the urge to drive into a tree. Not proud of it. But I am devastated about missing the trip. She backed out on us living together, and promised we could have time to cuddle on the trip. I honestly don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
I do a lot for her. I drive two hours round trip every time I want to see her, sometimes even for 5 minutes to drop off some food before going back. I've spent the past academic year working to support our long-standing plans of moving out together (This past weekend was my first time having more than one day off in a row since accompanying her to her surgery in October). I bring her flowers weekly, at work I do all of the hard stuff for her and massage her shoulders if she feels sore. I bring her food from my University and any treats she wants from the surrounding stores. I always ask if she wants anything. I have never said anything hurtful to her. She apologizes when she hurts my feelings too much and she realizes it, like last night. I spend thousands on her, whether jewelry (the most expensive ring she lost), buying her contacts or paying big bills when shes strugglign like drivers' ed or her wheel bearing replacements.
She texted me that shes sorry I'm not going and that she hurt me but I need to control my emotions better. That she loves me so much and regardless of our fights she will always love me so much. I responded that I felt like an unappreciated chore and didnt want to get yelled at. She replied that I'm not a chore she just hasnt had time and has been too depressed to make time for me. We texted a bit and I slept a few hours until my final/work today. She clearly didn't like me defending myself by saying that if i got a present i didnt like i wouldnt call my partner a "worthless ret*rd" by responding "i never called you worthless dont put words in my mouth...i sent you messages apologizing and being worried and your response is victimizing and arguing more...not happy with ruining my birthday? had to go further and ruin the day after?"
We've been texting each other throughout the day happier things. She's been sending me recipes to be a better cook and wants me to see her for 5 minutes after work in about 2 hours from the time of writing. I want to be with her. I love her, I've done so much, I will continue. But I feel like I'm being verbally abused. And I don't know how to stop it. I'm so overwhelmed with everythign in my life and I really just need someone on my side. I think i'll just first establish a rule of not interrupting/yelling and then telling her how hurt and lonely I feel. That I love her and I can totally work with her on managing time for me and depression but that I cannot tolerate verbal abuse.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend cookies for her birthday. She didnt like them and called me a ret*rd. I had a nervous break from other combined stressors, made a scene with reckless driving, got uninvited to a trip with her and her mom. She is texting me recipes and being nice to me today. I will see her in a few hours. I am hurt and overwhelmed with life and just want to be treated like I'm loved.
Thank you readers
EDIT: I would appreciate some more input. I'm so confused and torn. She picked me up today for our talk. I hoped for a long, communicative drive about our relationship and how we can make it better for both of us. She decided we were going to Target and we "might drive around a little" after. It started off wonderful. She said I was mature in a lot of aspects, thanked me for putting up with her, saying she knows its difficult and she appreciates me sticking around with her. It seemed like well-desired clarity for me. I loved it. I thanked her, it validated me. We agreed that we should be there for each other above everything and that communication was important. She gave me the tip of telling her to "think about what you're saying" next time she yells at me and she will stop, and mentioned that we will have a lot more time together when her school ends in "a few weeks". I asked her if she was happy in our relationship and she said absolutely, that if she wasn't she would have already left me (I believe it). She apologized for snapping at me, but said that "if I asked her to cuddle one more time she would" (I've been bringing it up and she keeps telling me when she gets time. Weeks pass, I ask again, she gets mad that she always says the same thing)
We went to Target, and things were good. We talked about other things. She very quickly shifted the conversation. I'd read about avoidant personalities in relationships and brought it up to her in the car that she might be one. She said that stuff was fake and meaningless. I also read that it might be best to approach it with compassion and more "these things make me feel good" as opposed to "this makes me feel bad". She interrupted me and told me to stop because it was annoying me saying "I love you so much". Not what I was going to say. It ended up as another argument, or at least for her. I kept saying that it was important for us to communicate, and that I felt like the problem would come up again if we didn't finish. She said we communicated too much and "why did I have to bring it up" because we moved past it and it ended on a high note and I just had to keep repeating myself and causing an argument and bring it into a negative note. I told her I wasn't arguing she was, and that there was no such thing as "too much" communication for me. For her, she said there was, and that by not shutting up about it I was making little things that she would nitpick and get mad at me for.
I said the lack of communication and connection was stressing me out, she said that I'm always stressed. That she was stressed too, tired with a headache and needing to pack for the trip I was uninvited from. I said maybe we should both go to a psychologist, she replied that she already did and was "fixed" and was waiting on me to finally go.
Since she didn't want to talk about it, I tried to change the subject, but she was silent. Still gave me an "I love you" and told me I'd see her in a week.
Parents are telling me to run away that she's toxic and manipulative. Same with you people here. I deeply appreciate the advice, its just really really hard to think of it this way. I thought I would marry her. I still hope she can change and I can, but it just seems increasingly unlikely. It's heartbreaking, I love so much about her, miss so much about her, and being alone is terrifying. I fear if I did leave as everyone is suggesting I may not find another person like her that I love as much.
My current plan, I'll just focus on myself and kind of "clock out" of the idea that she is the only person I am capable of loving and that she treats me perfectly while still being supportive of her for the next few weeks. I still have some hope that she'll be better in the weeks shes free. I don't know, I'll just focus on my life and put her on the same priority she puts me.

for context, i just did the biggest fumble of my time on this game when using him for the first time today: i accidentally flew when i tried picking my downed teammate up and it cost my team the win... (feel free to laugh about it btw, i know it's really dumb of me) 😭 to add to the embarrassment: my teammates were high ranks and i'm low rank... granted it was an unranked match so i doubt they expected much from me but i'm still super embarrassed about it.
so to recover from THAT mistake, i'd like to ask the all might mains of this subreddit for some tips on how not to do that ever again, and also just some general tips on how to use him since i've been having a lot of fun playing him but i struggle a lot with his moves since they work differently to what i'm used to.

My cousin got married recently. I was unable to go to the wedding but I met up with him and his wife later. I was surprised to learn his wife isn't Asian and told them so. They laughed nervously and changed the subject. My cousin didn't seem offended, but his wife acted withdrawn and uncomfortable the rest of the time. I'm wondering if I was out of line to say that. I get how what I said could be construed as racist, but consider this. My cousin:

1. Works in the tech industry.
2. Has far-right political views.
3. Plays dungeons and dragons.
4. Dresses like he's still in high school.
5. Attends science fiction conventions.

To me, that all screams "white guy with an Asian wife."

I've been fascinated by quantum computing since high school. As an incoming junior, I'm considering taking the course 15-459 on quantum computing. I've heard that CMU is considered weak in quantum computing, as it doesn't even have a quantum computer. When I looked into the top 20 universities for quantum computing, CMU wasn't listed. The leading universities in this field often have strong physics programs. While watching a YouTube video about 15-459, the professor mentioned not having a background in physics. He also stated that there's no need to know physics or quantum mechanics.
Here's my question: Is 15-459 still a valuable course to take? (Should I consider learning quantum computing at another school?)
I'd appreciate any insights you have on quantum computing and course 15-459.