The next day finds the military part of the Bridger family waiting in one of the larger cargo bays. Paladin company and Shark Platoon are on hand, all in full power armor except for Makula, with the exception of Jaruna who's standing next to Jerry in a family uniform with her shotgun and sword slung over her back. Jerry had also elected for a dress uniform today, though he'd paired it with a 'ceremonial' curaiss that could still take a hit from a plasma cannon or two... and concealed a small shield generator. Mixed with his cloak and the Crimsonhewer war ax on his belt, Jerry thought he looked every bit the barbarian warlord... if a bit too clean cut for a Hollywood depiction of such.
The situation reminded Jerry of a similar reception back on Serbow... but this one was a bit less ceremonial and a bit more... dynamic. They didn't have any formal bonds with Clan Karchara, or their Khan, Komugai. So as a meeting of two new to each other factions, things could get... exciting. Which considering they were talking about Cannidor meant that things could potentially get very violent, very quickly.
They usually didn't. Not any more. Yet... it never helped to play it safe, even with a clan that had a decent reputation like the Karchara. More cut throat clans had been heard to disguise themselves for meetings like this for meetings so they could ambush their targets after all. Plus as always, there was tradition to observe and satisfy. Tradition which could be best summarized as 'Offer one hand, but arm the other.'. The Cannidor were ready to fight a war naked among any people but their own. They were beyond dangerous. So an armed society wasn't so much a polite society as the unarmed were likely mentally infirm, and to be politely left to their own devices.
A sharp whistle from the 1MC draws Jerry from his thoughts.
"Now hear this! The Clan Karchara envoy is arriving!"
The Karchara drop ship slides into view out of the black and makes it's way towards the docking day with all the leisurely grace of a terrestrial shark swimming towards a coral reef. Whoever's piloting it is clearly a hot hand on the stick because the ship moves as smooth as anything Jerry had ever seen out of Cruel Space, extending it's landing gear and coming to a halt with nary a hint of a bounce in it's suspension and shock absorbing gear.
"Hmmm. The Karchara..." Jaruna rumbles. "An interesting contact in Cannidor space to be sure. So to recap what we talked about, they're somewhat on and off again allies of my old clan. Decent types for the most part. No idea who the Khan is now, and a little searching online didn't turn anything up. Don't think the intelligence weasels had anything either. Save that they've been having some internal structural changes. Seized a new planet too, lighting raid, unconventional tactics, whatever that means. Gives them complete control of... ten decently populated and industrialized star systems I think. They're firmly in the middle of the power band for the Khans by that measurement, exact position depends on the number of warriors under arms they can bring to the Golden Khan's muster."
"Right. Well. Guess we'll have to see what Khan Karchara wants to chat about, and hear about this plan of hers."
The Karchara drop ship settles onto it's landing gear, and it's flight crew leaves the engines running. Tradition. You never knew if a reception was actually friendly after all, and it was also a mark of respect for the hosts. You might be asked to fuck off after all.
The forward assault ramp drops, and the honor guard warriors of the Khan march out, in power armor, but with their helmets off, fanning out to cover their leader. The lack of helmets was very much a declaration of intent, the human equivalent of open palms for a Cannidor in power armor.
Jaruna's brow instantly furrows as she scans the faces of the honor guard.
"...Wait. I know some of those girls. One of my aunts, Norkath is there on the left, and that's... but that."
Jerry can hear Jaruna's brain crunching that information.
"...Komugai. You said the Khan's name was Komugai? Not Jelvuna?"
"Definently Komugai."
"...Unless she changed her name... but then would Aunt Norkath join the Karchara proper without her...?"
Jaruna mutters to herself, clearly trying to puzzle whatever's eating at her out, when the sound of heavy boots on the assault ramp sound, and an utterly massive Cannidor woman starts to come into view. She cuts an imposing presence. Her uniform not too far off from Jerry's, a mix of barbarian warlord and modern dress uniform. The massive war ax over her shoulder tipping the scales on the barbarian - modern officer scale towards barbarian. It was easy to miss her other various weapons in the sheer scale of her. Her stark white fur, the three brutal scars across her muzzle, and another two over her left eye, which had a cybernetic replacement.
Khan Karchara stands for a moment, surveying the room silently... and before anyone can say anything, Jaruna breaks the silence;
"...Mom?"
Khan Karchara cuts loose with a booming laugh that reminds Jerry of Khan Isuras, and if this is indeed Jaruna's mother, he can immediately see exactly why the two women cut palms and swore sisterhood. He wouldn't be hard pressed to believe they were actual sisters.
"Heh. Glad to see all that time on Centris hasn't dulled your powers of observation! Always said you were a sharp one."
There's no sarcasm there, a little maternal teasing perhaps, but she's not mocking Jaruna. Anyone with eyes can tell Khan Karchara is damn proud of her child.
"And this'd be my son in law... bit small but hell just from your first date with my little girl I know you're a first class head kicker, plus you already gave me four grandbabies to spoil! Hahah. I suppose these bigguns here are the older girls? I... say. I thought there was three of you."
Karchara points at Makula.
"You're a bit old to be Hippolyta considering she was born a couple weeks ago. Who are you, girl?"
"Makula Sa'Bridger, I was adopted a few days ago. Honored Matron."
Karchara grins, her numerous teeth gleaming in the light of the hangar.
"Matron? Not Khan?"
"You are my mother's mother, standing in my family's clan hold. To refer to your title by right of blood is most appropriate."
Another bark of laughter.
"Well drilled and whip smart I see. You know the ways of our kind well, granddaughter." Karchara smirks, looking smug before turning to her honor guard.
"See girls? Five now! Haha! What a stud of a bull!"
Khan Karchara turns back to Jerry and Jaruna.
"Ah but I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's get the formal bit done so we can go jaw a bit and then hopefully I can visit with my eldest daughter, my son in law and these fine young ladies."
She quickly shifts her body a bit, drawing herself up to her full, imposing twelve foot height.
"I am Komugai, Khan of Karchara. I come to broker peace and fellowship between our clans, to join them in a bond of steel that will stand the sword storm for all time."
Jerry nods slowly. More than they'd expected actually. That was laying out intent to conduct some very, very serious negotiations.
"I, Jeremiah, Khan of Bridger, Admiral of this fleet, lord of these proud warriors before you, bid you welcome, Komugai of Karchara, bring your banner among ours, that they might rest together while we discuss the business of peace, and of wars yet to come."
"Well spoken indeed... and the steel in your eyes." Komugai nods slowly. "Yes, I see what you see in him, Jaruna, well past his considerable combat skills. All the better my dear son-in-law that you have already begun working on my grand design... but come, let us dismiss our warriors that they might go and eat, drink and enjoy themselves. We need only you, Jaruna, and perhaps my granddaughters for this business, so that they might learn the ways of leadership."
"I think we can accommodate that." Jerry says before turning and pulling the ax off of his belt and raising it high, an ancient Cannidor signal for attention from the leader of a warband to their warriors.
"Warriors, we walk with friends, show them to the promenade, that they might share our table while we discuss business."
Jerry and Jaruna guide Komugai to the conference room they'd prepared, while Joan and the girls quickly hustle to get their armor stowed and get their tails to the same spot. None of them wanted to miss a minute of this!
Still, the tension in the room's fairly heavy when the door closes, and Jaruna turns on her mother.
"Alright. We got a couple minutes till the girls get up here. What the hell, mom? You changed your name? Took over the Karchara? What the heck is going on?"
Komugai settles herself in a Cannidor scale chair, grinning all the while.
"You should be happier, daughter. This was inspired by you after all. When you left our band. Left the old clan... I knew you were right. We won't speak of that business, but we were obligated... and I should have been brave enough to refuse, but I lacked the standing... and perhaps the courage. So I did what any good Khan worth her blades would do and crammed it down their throats. Broke that clan, took them in, then subsumed the Karchara with my new band. They've got the older name, so I became Khan Karchara instead of remaining Khan Jormuntide. Your Aunt's got the title now. I'd offer it to you, but you've got your own clan now."
"So Jormuntide remains at least." Jaruna shuts her eyes for a second and lets out a slow breath. "You really did all this because of my idealistic and childish temper tantrum nearly a century ago?"
"Hardly childish. Idealistic? Absolutely. There's something to be said for actually trying to live up to our own ideals though. Especially as warriors. However, that is personal business, and we have business to discuss for the Undaunted first."
Komugai turns to face Jerry square on.
"Admiral Bridger, I'm prepared to offer two things to the Undaunted. One. I want to ally myself and my clan formally with the Undaunted. Second, I prepared to gift an entire star system to the same from my holdings. It is populated, but sparsely across three habitable worlds. Ripe for ongoing colonization and industrialization. To keep things fair, people within my clans will be given a chance to move to or from as they please if for some reason they don't wish for Undaunted citizenship. The Undaunted will then have the standing to select a Khan for your Cannidor population, both in Cannidor space, and Undaunted wide. A non voting position at first, but as the clan grows you will achieve that status quickly I believe."
Jerry stops dead. "...Did you just offer us a star system with three habitable worlds?"
"Yes."
"...Okay, I'm on board, but why?"
"Simply put, the worlds are marginal. They need investment. They need settlers. You need worlds. A strong alliance with humanity... and being the first Cannidor clan to extend that hand formally, even having your realm within my space... only benefits me. As I grow my own territory I might even cede another system to the Undaunted. If the Undaunted Khan helps me in those battles I damn sure will." Komugai chuckles. "We'll see how many Khans are stupid enough to try to fight me in the next few decades of course. The other thing I'm trading on is Undaunted naval power. As you just learned, we don't really do navies. I want a professional navy, the Undaunted have agreed to help me get it... and help secure my space once we secure them my end of the bargain, that, Admiral, is where you come in."
Jerry arches an eyebrow and gestures for Komugai to continue.
"Simply put, you need to do what you just did with that border bandit Khan Irgalas, but across Cannidor space. This isn't a done deal. It's up to the Grand Council and I'm but one vote. You already have an in with some of the other Khans, and the Undaunted are doing business with Cannid Solutions. That's an excellent start, and you just made a stellar formal introduction of yourself to Cannidor space. A flawless orbital and ground fight like that'll make sure word gets around that the Undaunted are here... and as dangerous as their rep says they are. I got a little list of the other movers and shakers you need to press the flesh with to win over key parts of the council. You make the rounds, and I'll be doing the same on my end. We meet on Canis Prime for the council meeting, and then we either have a huge brawl to make our point or toast victory with some top quality booze."
"You make it sound pretty simple." Jerry says, clearly not believing there's all there is to it.
Komugai shrugs. "It is simple in its concept. Pressing the flesh and winning the various Khans over won't be. They'll all have their little tests and challenges for you to get the measure of both humans and the Undaunted. We've seen a lot on the trivid as a species. A lot of us have heard stuff in the news or from kin. This is your chance to just straight up show people who you are and what you're about. Because now you're here, and therefore 'real'. If that makes any sense. Cannidor don't really care much about shit happening on the other half of the galactic disk. Undaunted, Humans, being here? Now? Now people will really start paying attention besides idly seeing if there's some interesting amateur porn or more combat footage available."
The Khan points over at Joan, Boudicca, Khutulun and Makula. "These four will likely be very critical to the warrior house's opinion of you... your next generation of warriors, your daughters. How are they treated? How are they trained? What's their mettle like? If they're strong, and worthy, you will impress the khans in a very good way. If my granddaughters are found wanting, they'd question a great many things... and could cause trouble when the Grand Council meets to discuss my little proposal, among other orders of business."
Jerry looks over at Joan and the girls, all four of them are suddenly looking very tense, especially Makula. "I have every confidence in all of my daughters to deal with anything the Khans can throw at them. Even Hippolyta if a trial suited for an infant is on hand."
That gets a chuckle from the girls, relaxing them a hair.
"Still. We'll burn that bridge when we get there. No sense borrowing trouble that hasn't come yet."
Komugai nods. "Wise words. Your diplomats have already approved this plan on their end, they'll send you the itinerary and all the fussy details shortly. Unless you have other questions for me?"
"I've heard there's a grand council of patriarchs too. Would getting in good with them help?"
That gets a full on shrug from the massive warrior woman. "Yes? I mean. Probably. No good way to arrange that though beyond asking my hubby, and I have. He said their council will handle things if it's deemed appropriate, and I don't need to fuss about it too much, and I know a polite way to be asked to fuck off when I hear one... so keep your head on a swivel on that one Jerry, I'm sure the patriarchs are well aware of the Undaunted... and are looking at a possible way to make warriors out of their sons without making their wives piss their frilly panties."
The khan's brilliant white teeth glitter in the room. "Back when we were the more traditional kind of savages back on our homeworld, the bulls did a lot of the leading and the fighting on an individual basis. Women however have always fought the wars. As we grew as a species, developed power armor, space travel, had our population bloom, a bull fighting another in single combat became less practical, and the other traditional male roles of shaman, guide, and brain trust came to the forefront. The council of patriarchs is an old body Jerry. Pre space flight. One of our first forms of international diplomacy between the khans. The matriarchs hold all the power... but when the council of patriarchs speaks, people know to shut up and pay attention."
Jerry nods slowly. Seemed like he'd just have to wait and see... and make sure he made a good impression when the opportunity presented itself.
"Well. I think that concludes everything we need to talk about professionally. Unless you have something else Khan Karchara?"
"Aww, just call me Mama like my big fuzz ball over here used to when we're not working! I've heard a bit about this little fortress of yours, could you all give me the tour? I'd like a chance to talk to all my new granddaughters after all."
Jerry shrugs. "Sure, we'll head up to the Den for a bit, then head down to the promenade to join the girls for some drinks and skewers. Our Cannidor eatery's got the best skewers in wild space whenever we're there."
"Don't I believe it, get to try some more Earth meats too! Bought a little sampler pack from a friend and good goddess, if you start exporting that bacon stuff in bulk, I'm going to invest in a chain of gyms, because there's going to be a lot of girls fighting to keep their girlish figures!"
First Last (SFW) Last (NSFW)

Hi everyone!
I'm starting up a community space/club in Nicosia and I've been working on the concept for the last year. I put a huge amount of my life savings into this project and I'm hoping to get your feedback on it. It took me a long time to finally get the courage to share it with you all too.
My mission and vision is to create a transformative space where creativity flourishes, dialogues inspire, and connections run deep. To foster connections through vibrant conversations, culinary arts, and shared experiences :)
What is The Dialogue Club?
The dialogue club is more than just a venue; it's a vibrant community space where individuals can come together to engage in meaningful conversations, appreciate art, and participate in a wide range of cultural and creative activities. Whether it's through live music performances, hands-on workshops, or simply sharing a meal, I aim to enrich Nicosia's cultural landscape and create a sense of belonging for everyone.
I aim to run some programs as well.
For Food Entrepreneurs - People who dream to set up their restaurants but are afraid of taking the risks or feel overwhelmed by starting it all up. The program gives food entrepreneurs a space in our garden where they can sell their food, we have regular mentors from the F&B industry who help give guidance to them.
At the Dialogue Club we support them with regular content, promotions and events on our channels. This helps Food Entrepreneurs focus on their food without feeling like they have to hustle hard on social media to get customers. Something I found that has been tough for small food businesses to keep up against more established food places in Cyprus.
We support these aspiring food entrepreneurs with extremely low rent as well.
For Artists - For local craftspeople to access a platform to share, sell and promote their art. In turn also helping with the preservation of new and traditional Cypriot art forms. The space will include a shop where artists can permanently display their work without struggling to keep up with ad hoc festivals all the time.
We support artists in very similar ways, extremely low rent, we help them with social media promotions on our channels, mentorships if they want and we have dedicated sales staff to help share their story and craft with visitors.
Why Did I Start This?
I think the word community is an overly mentioned word these days. Businesses throw it in for buzz and experts say we have too little of it. In fact it has been 5 years on, since the British government has a minister of loneliness appointed to tackle “the sad reality of modern life”.
Community is still something we have here in Cyprus but I believe that it takes nurturing, care and love to continue building it up. Especially when it comes to organizing our communities to create better impact for the places we live in. There are so many things in Cyprus that can be changed for the better, and doing it together means we have better chances to make things move.
At the same time, we thrive as human beings when we are part of an uplifting group. Imagine running or jogging at 5am every morning? Would you do it alone?
What if I were to say, I'd love to do a 5am run with you. There's going to be more of a good push for you to do it now. When we take collective actions together, we can build healthy habits together. Now lets amplify that to different activities from Community Gardening to Ceramic Classes or Free Yoga Classes after work! How cool would that be to do things together?
Why Join The Dialogue Club Waitlist?
There are no fees to this. I need your help to get your thoughts and opinions about the Dialogue Club. By filling up this really short form, I can gather information and guide decisions when building up the space. Which is a work in progress as we speak.
To thank you for your help! Here are some things I'll be giving back.

• Exclusive Opening Event: Get invited to our grand opening with free food, music, and a chance to meet like-minded community members! (Limited spaces)
• Tasting Sessions: Be part of selecting the best food vendors for our community garden.
• Shape Our Space: Join our discussion groups and vote on the activities and concepts you want to see.
• Early Supporter Perks: Enjoy special benefits as a Founding member (details to be announced soon).

Join The Waitlist Here 👉 Join the Waitlist Here 👈
I'd Love Your Feedback! As we're in the early stages, your feedback is invaluable to me. Please check out our website and let me know:

• What do you think of the concept and offerings?
• Any suggestions for improvement?
• What activities or features would you love to see at The Dialogue Club?

Thank you for being a part of this exciting journey. Together, let's create a community that transcends the ordinary!
Feel free to share your thoughts and questions below. I can't wait to hear from you!
The Dialogue Club (Cyprus) Website

Hi. First time poster. Long time lurker. Took a while to get the courage.
So i married my husband knowing that we would go through this together. And he’s going to be in for a long time. We are PA residents looking to move states when he gets out. People on parole in NJ with serious but still first time offenses, how bad is it? I’m not going to list charges but based on my research he’ll likely end up being Tier II under NJ registry requirements.
I do not expect our life to be “normal” ever or at all. But i will do whatever it takes to be together. I just want to know what to expect in NJ? There are a lot of reasons i want to move there besides just this. And yes i know there is no guarantee another state will accept him as a parolee. But we are going to try. He will be in for long enough i will be able to purchase and own a home by the time he gets out. So we won’t be at the mercy of landlords.
When this all started Police showed up at our apartment and i didn’t know why, he told me why, told me what REALLY happened vs his charges, let me read the warrant. I believe him. I have known for some time i wanted to marry him. I said i wanted to, because i wasn’t going to wait years and years to get the chance or have a prison wedding. We threw it together just in time. It was beautiful. They took him the next day. I have known what i’m getting into since before i suggested marriage, and everything i’d need to give up.
So, for NJ, which is where i would like to live some day, how bad is it? Or is it about the same as most other places? If it’s about the same (i’m expecting this to be hard and the restrictions to be ridiculous) then i can live with that. If it’s for some reason a lot worse i’d like to know in what ways.
Thank you everyone. This sub is a blessing as a space i can feel safe being with someone in this situation without being told i’m a terrible person for not leaving him.

I live with my partner and his parents and have for the past 5 years. (this is for financial reasons only) Towards the beginning of our relationship I had no problems with his mom. I had heard one of his sisters say that she talked sh** about me and would call me names such as white trash and I kind of just glossed over it as its he said she said, but I definitely believed it. Over time I would hear more things, whether I overheard straight from her mouth talking to my partner or someone else telling me (mostly my partner if she said something to him while I wasn't around)
On Easter Sunday this year she came home and started yelling at me in the middle of the street and waving her hands/fingers in my face whilst doing so. She was going off on me saying her issues with me are me using the bathroom and doing laundry. (LMAO Crazy. I know.) She told me I wasn't apart of the family that I have been very much apart of for the past 5 and a half years and kept going as we went in the house to complain about more. I felt attacked so I started crying and was just kind of like what is your problem and my partner separated me from her and we left.
She took no accountability for the situation moving forward and gave the most fake least effort apology in the world. I have a saying that I like that goes "the apology should be as loud as the disrespect." She glossed over it, somehow blamed it on his father and then proceeded to ask me to buy her a birthday cake all in the same conversation.
A few weeks go by and now Mother's day is coming up. My aunt had texted me for plans previously and I had expressed that to my partner. His mom approached me one morning and asked if we had plans and I told her we were going to a brunch my aunt planned and her response was "we can do something on Saturday then," only after she said "What about me?". Let me just say we have spent EVERY holiday with them for 5 1/2 years so I don't think its wrong if my partner spends some time with mine?
One day she doesn't think I am home and is talking to my partner about mothers day and he responded that he has plans with me and my family. Her response was to tell him not to go and that I can go see my mom and he can spend time with his. At that point I opened my door and said to her " I told you the other day that we had plans with my family, the fact that you just went behind my back and tell him not to go is really rude. She proceeded to look at me like I had 5 heads and called ME disrespectful. I told her that what she did was wrong and honestly hurt my feelings because why would she do something like that like why can't she just say okay have fun with your girlfriends family, like there is just no maturity at all and the sense of entitlement is crazy.
That confrontation turned into a fight where she was shhing me and telling me to shut up. She told me I will never cut the umbilical cord from her and her son and I can never take away a mothers relationship with her son? Like really crazy sh** and I'm just sitting there thinking like how does her brain even work like why does she think like this and act like this. She even went as far to say to me "You don't have a ring on your finger." Which I replied " I don't need a ring to have respect."
Needless to say we haven't spoked since but live in the same house and I feel very weird and uncomfortable. She hasn't said a word to me and I have been purposefully avoiding her as I don't want to be in the same vicinity as her. Over the past half a decade there were definitely a lot of situations where I wanted to speak up and didn't for fear of conflict. I love my partner more than anything in this world, I just cant see me bringing my future kids around this kind of stuff let alone me even wanting to deal with this on my own right now. I don't think he wants to either but I don't really know what to do and could really use some advice on this situation.
Thank you for your time <3

Link for all the chapters available for free here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
Deep in the groaning halls of sinew and bone he awaited his audience with the god. At a wave of his hand the ribs which held up the ceiling contracted, tendons shifting within the pink walls of the chamber as the jagged, calcareous spurs that composed the doorway sank back into the spongy masses of tissue, revealing a passage curving down and out of sight.
Menash stood before the yawning portal and considered eternity. This was no an idle thought: here in the Dawning Chamber, the concept was very real. His father, Yulan, had stood in this exact spot times beyond count. When he was struck down in his prime by the Night Weaver and her Leaper offspring, torn limb from limb as he fought to defend Chthonis from a raiding party, Menash’s uncle, Aqavarr, had carried his broken remains over that grinning threshold to join the hosts of the dead, never to return.
A hot and heavy exhalation rattled up out of the depths, wafting in the acrid scent of the bonding pools and the wet slithering sound of the rebirthing canals. Menash felt a crackle of static in the corners of his mind before the signal sharpened and he heard It whisper distinctly:
“Enter…”
The familiar dread crept its way up the small of his back, and he gave a little shiver. No matter how many times he had communed with the Vitalus, he’d never been able to shake the feeling of his utter insignificance. But he persevered, walking bravely down the slurping passage, past the rows of broad antechambers lining either side of the hallway. Each one held a slumbering shape immersed in a cryogenic bath, towering hulks of muscle encased in ribbed and riveted plates of chitin. No two were alike in size or physiology, but all seemed to emanate the same primeval aura of dread that tickled Menash’s fight-or-flight-instinct, skewing it very much towards the latter response. These were the Hollowores, soulless avatars of the Vitalus, each one a tool capable of eradicating an entire species. As Menash approached, one of the living weapons stirred to life. A pronged, anvil-shaped head emerged from the bath, umbilical feeder tubes detaching from its armored flanks as the rest of its bulk followed, its mauve exoskeleton as sleek and shiny as amethyst. The Hollowore extended legs as thick as grown pine trees and lifted itself above him, its pairs of crushing pincers dripping amniotic fluids as it herded him towards the central room.
Bundles of white gossamer filaments spread all across the floor, encircling steaming pools of pus and acid. He saw arms and legs, sensory organs and entire exoskeletons being knitted before his very eyes, the amino acid chains being stitched on a layer at a time, the weeping pus evidence of microphages fighting off possible infections as the Vitalus did Its work.
These were the next generation of exomorphs, yet to be assigned to their hosts. It was here that Vitalus constantly improved the only thing that could ensure the continued survival of Menash’s subspecies. Exomorphs were bonded to Gallivants at birth, the organisms supplying their hosts with the means to breathe an atmosphere they was never meant to endure, and the strength to fight in a world that was red in tooth and claw. They were as swift as the summer wind and could multiply their host’s muscular power by up to twelve times their natural output.
But for all their God-given might, Gallivants were still mortal. They could and often did perish in the endless struggle for existence that the Vitalus called the Great Game. But even in death they could still commit their essence to posterity, passing down their defining traits through the malleable genetic code of the gilt helix. It was the Vitalus’ greatest boon; through the gilt helix a single individual could become a progenitor of an entire generation, becoming at one stroke the father of whole nations and peoples.
One day he too would prove worthy of the honor that Yulan had earned with his life. But he was not alone in that ambition. Menash was annoyed to find the crimson-clad Vezda and the cowardly Racek waiting for him inside, standing next to a large ball of filaments that hung from a tonsil-like growth hanging from the walls.
This node pulsed, emitting a small storm of bioelectric activity, networks of fungi conveying commands in the form of oscillating voltages to their communities of symbiotic bacteria, the latter containing greigite mineral crystals aligned in the shape of electromagnetic coils. Other networks hidden in the walls modulated and amplified the signals, and the three Gallivants steeled themselves for the onrushing flood of information as the Vitalus tapped into their minds.
He was a candle before the raging heart of the thunderstorm. For an instant Menash touched a fraction of Its intelligence, the divisions of time and space rolling back as they joined the ocean of shared consciousness, becoming one with the living systems of Arachnea. From the tiniest aeroplankton floating above the waves of the golden coastlines, to the herds of ultrapods munching their way through swathes of trees in the savannahs. Menash felt himself pushing up out of the soil, longing and lusting and reaching for the sunlight with a trillion green fingers uncurling, alive with the furious movement of life.
But what was that flicker of orange to the east? That searing heat, that prickling pain spreading like a cancer down his side?
The Vitalus scooped them up and hurled them headlong into hell itself. A roaring wildfire was sweeping into the heart of the eastern rainforests. Menash tasted ash and ruin, felt pieces of himself wither and burn, his branches tongues of fire, wood cracking from the intense blaze, sap boiling instantaneously upon contact and rupturing, splitting him right down the grain. He fled in terror, running, slithering, digging, swimming, flying away in crazed panic from the walls of red death closing in on him. As his skin flaked off in clumps of charcoal he looked back and saw it towering over the treetops, the epicenter of this howling vortex of destruction: the grey behemoth. Its burnished metal hide gleamed like copper, reflecting the fury of the conflagration burning well into the night.
Menash pulled his mind away before it was lost forever in the storm of electric potentials. He saw Racek and Vezda swaying on their feet, breathing hard and fast.
“Heart of the World,” he managed to gasp, “What is your bidding?”
The Hollowore maneuvered itself until it was facing him directly. Tiny beady eyes fixed him in their blank gaze. The node emitted a blue pulse and the creature shuddered as it received the signal. It opened a maw powerful enough to chew boulders into gravel and rumbled:
“This one is the alpha which survived first contact with anomalous variable. It will tell Us what occurred, and from whence this threat emerged.”
“It came from the karst mountain range, where the yellowjacket Amit live,” Menash replied, “It was destroying the largest mound in that area, massacring its inhabitants. It brought the mountain down on them—we’ve never seen anything like it. Zildiz was the first on the scene. She warned us not to approach, and that it was dangerous, but some of us,” here he cast an angry look at Vezda, “Some of us went ahead and tried to scavenge from the bodies of the dying. Then the behemoth ignited the air and burned scores of us to cinders.”
“Irrational. Why did you do this?”
“W-we thought that you had spawned the grey behemoth,” Menash stammered, embarrassed to say the least, “That it was the newest addition to the Great Game, another species of ultrafauna that would help perfect Arachnea.”
“Not so. It was made by an evil far older than the All-In-One,” replied the Vitalus, “It is called a Divine Engine. In cycles past, this evil sought to undo this world and all that inhabit it. In that, it almost succeeded.”
Menash felt his blood run cold at those words.
“Is it the only one of its kind?” Racek piped up. Menash and Vezda both bristled at his interruption; subordinates were only supposed to speak when spoken to.
“There were several deployed here in Our infancy. We had thought them all destroyed in the War of Creation.”
“Your Munificence,” Racek went on, heedless of the venomous looks he was getting from the other two, “Most of us survived because Zildiz persuaded us to dive into the river. She saved all our lives! But as I washed up on the riverbank, I saw the behemoth casting a seedpod into the skies. I did not see where it landed, but it was travelling in a high arc due east. Is this the behemoth’s method of reproducing? If so, then how many offspring can it generate from this one seed?”
The Vitalus met his questions with a minute of silence. Menash had never known It to take so long to respond to a query, and felt another stab of unease in his gut. Unless he was imagining things, the Vitalus seemed genuinely disturbed by the scenario that Racek has raised, enough to convince Menash that the danger was far from hypothetical.
“That is a distant possibility,” It said somewhat cryptically, “Regardless, We cannot allow the Engine’s continued existence.”
“Then it must be destroyed,” Vezda said, her barbed tail eagerly perking up.
“We are not certain that it can be,” the Vitalus said, and Menash heard Racek audibly gulp at the admission.
“But Your Omniscience, you alone are the arbiter of growth and decay,” Vezda said in disbelief, “Surely you can unmake this monster as well?”
“Perhaps. The Divine Engines were built to withstand the extremes of temperature, gravity, atmospheric pressure, acidity and irradiation found on semi-inhabitable exoplanets. Worlds of bareness and desolation, glassed by thermonuclear bombardment or infested with alien microorganisms. In the wars of Our youth, the Betrayers used tungsten-alloy warheads fired from space platforms to crack their bulkheads. Not even Our vessels, the Hollowores, could damage them in any significant way. We will need time to gather the raw materials and fabricate the weapons needed to end this threat.”
“What must we do?” Menash asked.
“If this variable is not dealt with, it could upset the delicate balance We have sacrificed so much to achieve. Already the wildfire it has caused will release close to 400 million metric tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and destroy 2.3 million acres of forest before Our countermeasures can stop it. Time is our limiting factor. If the Engine cannot be destroyed now, it must be restrained.”
“It hasn’t moved an inch since we last saw it,” Vezda said brightly, “Maybe it has already died?”
“Yes, and maybe your mother was a horka toad,” Racek said snidely. Vezda scowled and took a step towards him, then stopped as she remembered that she trod on hallowed ground.
“Not so. It has merely gone dormant. Having expended its fuel, it is now running on the bare minimum of its reserves. My children, you must ensure that it does not wake again. Establish a quarantine zone around the Engine and let none approach, on pain of death. The Leaper kindreds will secure the ground while the Gallivants patrol the skies.”
Vezda and Menash exchanged troubled looks. Nobody wanted Leapers establishing a foothold in what was essentially a buffer zone between their subspecies. Once allowed to settle in a habitat, it would not take long for them to adapt and become masters of their new territory. Ousting them would become a battle of attrition, and given the lower birthrates of Gallivants, it was not one they could long afford.
“Respectfully, we do not require assistance from our brother kindred,” Menash ventured, “We are more than capable of safeguarding the area ourselves.”
The node throbbed again, the bioelectric flashes taking on an angry purple hue. With a sound like the grinding of a millstone the Hollowore clashed its claws together impatiently. All three of the mortals took a hasty step back.
“The alpha will obey, or another will be found that can,” the Vitalus growled at them, “All subspecies will observe a general truce during this period. This is a temporary addition to the Great Game. Those that serve Us well shall be rewarded. We shall also enlist the aid of your terrestrial cousins, as well as the Cataphract clans to replenish the soil, and lone Saints who shall rove beyond the quarantine zone.”
Menash’s unease deepened. The Vitalus was bringing together four different kindreds, some of which killed each other on sight, in a move that reeked of desperation. The kindreds had worked together before, of course, on complex projects such as altering rainfall patterns and husbanding struggling species, but never so many at once. This was bound to end in bloodshed.
“Those that break the truce shall be chemically neutered, and their gilt helix purged from the existing gene pool,” the Vitalus continued, “You will maintain this quarantine until We have dealt with the Engine.”
“It is understood!” Menash and Vezda said at once.
“But what about Zildiz?” Racek blurted out, again risking his entire lineage by speaking out of turn, “She might still be alive out there!”
“He’s right,” Menash found himself agreeing despite his dislike for Racek, “She’s our alpha, after all. It would be a shame to lose her helix. Do we have your leave to send out a party to recover her?”
The Vitalus pondered the request for a moment, then crushed his hopes when it said:
“Regrettable, the loss of the female. Valuable stock for the breeding program. But it has not responded to Our signals—it is unlikely to have survived. The female Vezda shall take up its duties as alpha.”
“But Your Benevolence—” both men cried out in unison.
“It is decided. She has risked the Great Game, and must abide by its outcome. To speak more on this would risk Our displeasure,” the god warned.
“We can’t spare the manpower anyway,” Vezda pointed out, trying not to look too pleased at Its decision. She darted a quick look at Menash, long enough for him to see the selfish desire festering in her heart. He turned away from her in disgust, baring his blades by the slightest of margins to let her know what he thought of her, then asked the Vitalus:
“But what of the Engine’s seedpod? Should we search for it?”
“Negative!” the Vitalus boomed, its node reinforcing the word with a spike of activity that sent needles of pain spearing into their heads, “We shall complete this task. It is dangerous and can be entrusted to no other.”
The Hollowore angled its massive head towards the cavernous ceiling, armored flaps on its back sliding aside as it unfurled sets of rigid sixty-meter wings. A wide sphincter on the roof gaped open and Menash saw the evening sky awash with the stars in their milky multitudes. The Hollowore took a deep breath through the spiracles lining its thorax and abdomen, pumping air through a pair of hollow tube-like protuberances under either of its wings. Menash and the others quickly scampered to a safe distance. Seconds later there was a scream of chemical combustion and the Hollowore rose into the evening skies, leaving behind a long trail of superheated gases, the backwash almost knocking Menash off his feet. They watched as the Hollowore gained altitude, making straight for the columns of billowing smoke on the horizon, a sweeping shadow blotting out the light of the heavens.
The Vitalus’ mental presence receded with it. When it did not return, they took it to mean that they were dismissed and likewise took flight and headed for Chthonis. They were hardly out of the Dawning Chamber when Vezda seized the scrawny Racek by his wings and anchored her feet right up against his back.
“Funny little man, are you? Crack jokes at my expense again, and I’ll see to it that you’ll never fly again!” she snarled, yanking hard. Racek yelled as his wings threatened to pop out of their sockets.
“Stop!” Menash said, ramming his shoulder into her and knocking the smaller male out of her grip. Vezda rounded on him, blades out and her tail aquiver with rage.
“As for you! No one should speak to the Vitalus like that!” she shrieked, “Much less gainsay It! Are you trying to get us all killed? It is the source and continuance of life itself—”
“But the Vitalus doesn’t always consider the individual scale of things,” Menash reasoned, controlling his rising anger as he tried to defuse the situation, “Its scope of thought is beyond ours. Therefore it is up to us to look after each other. None of us can win the Great Game alone. We need people like Zildiz for the species to prosper.”
“Your logic is flawed,” Vezda spat, “Empathy is a sham devised by the selfish action of the gene, which seeks only to preserve itself. At least I am honest enough to look after my own interests. Your obsession with that whore is misplaced. Heed my words, Menash. What happened today marks a change in the Great Game. Only the ruthless will reap the rewards of this era. Think on that, and act accordingly.”
The female darted off in another direction, leaving the two behind.
“Thanks,” Racek said, rubbing at his sore shoulders, “My, my. She’s really taking her promotion very seriously, isn’t she?”
“This doesn’t make us friends,” Menash said shortly, “We share a common interest, that’s all.”
The two flew together in silence for a time, the dark canopy unrolling below their feet. Racek had always been a bitter rival for Zildiz’s affections. In the mating seasons he and Menash had flown the damsel-dance against each other countless times, racing and dogfighting at top speed through the dense bamboo thickets in an effort to impress her.
But each time she had always chosen Menash. Naturally. He was the stronger, the braver, the son of the Scourge who had slain hundreds on his lightning raids into Leaper territory. Their pairings had been brief and passionate, yet she had always laughed at the end and gone on her merry way, a rose petal borne on a scented breeze, the dalliance as meaningless to her as other concerns like eating or breathing.
But not to him. Right now, all that mattered was her. And Racek was the only one in the whole wide world who knew exactly how he felt. Did that mean he could be trusted? Menash considered the enormity of what he was about to do, and wavered. Then he saw her face in the darkness of his home, the face she wore when they were all alone together, and he took a deep breath before breaking the silence, saying:
“I’ll be in charge of the quarantine. I can arrange for you to disappear for a few days. I can have one of the younglings mimic your magnetosynaptic signal, make it seem like you’re with the rest of us.”
“You’d do that? For me?” Racek said in astonishment.
“Hah. Not for you,” Menash laughed softly. He looked Racek straight in the eyes and continued: “What’ll it be, then?”
If he so much as hesitates, I’ll have to kill him here and now, Menash told himself.
“Why, yes. Yes, of course!” the little brown male said vigorously.
“Good,” Menash sighed with relief, “She’ll be very grateful to whoever brings her home. I’d do it myself, but as an alpha I can’t risk being seen as disobedient.”
“Then why give me this chance? After all that’s passed between us?”
“I should have thought that was obvious,” Menash replied. Racek digested that for a bit, then out of nowhere said:
“If I find her—when I find her—I’ll tell her exactly who it was that sent me.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Bah! Just so we’re even, that’s all,” Racek grinned, his mouthparts slanting askew.
“Thanks, I guess. I’d…I’d appreciate that. You do understand what we’re risking here, right?”
“Sure. We’ll be total genetic write-offs if we’re caught. But it’s not like I wanted to see tiny ugly Raceks running around the house anyway. What about you, though? Why are you putting your neck on the chopping block?”
“You know why,” Menash said quietly, his thoughts still lingering on her face.
“Yes,” Racek agreed with a wistful air, “Yes, I suppose I do.”
And the pair spoke no more until they reached Chthonis.
Link for all the chapters available for free here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

Hello all! I took some time off to focus on another project and give myself a fresh set of eyes for this book and query. I really underestimated the work that goes into a good query. I've revised the opening of my book and redone the query to be more dynamic. Any and all feedback is welcome!
Dear [agent],
Life is a death sentence, and James Cross has died 20 times. But, thanks to Clonecare, you can have your bullet and eat it too. James final clone-claim results in a “defective” clone that’s taller, smarter, and stronger. What James doesn’t know is that he’s now thrown into the middle of a conspiracy to hide the better clonecare that only the rich and powerful get. Adam Miller, CEO of the largest clone insurer in America, sends his personal assassin after James; a wall of muscle known only as “Janzen.” If James dies, he won’t be coming back this time.
Deciding that his life must mean more than the sum of his deaths, James wants to do something big. He has one year before his defective body will die. One year to change the world or die trying.
Nick Druune hasn’t been close to anyone since his violent and bitter divorce from his husband. But, due to poverty, he’ll be working alongside his ex-coworker, James Cross. James wants to make “The Emotional Network,” an app linking users on the same emotional spectrum. James tells Nick it’s because he wants users to see the human beyond the screen. Nick has his suspicions but can’t afford to pass up the job. He should have listened to his doubts.
Nick is too late to see what James was really building: a death cult. Death. Rebirth. Death. Business as usual, right? As rioting breaks out across America, a manhunt is on for James and Nick with the police and Adam Miller chasing after the two. The cult, fueled by James calling for more people to “self-claim,” asks the question: how do you stop a death cult when resurrection is on the table?
CLONECARE is a Sci-Fi, dark comedy about the value we place on life compared to the deductible we get billed for it. Complete at 97k words, this standalone novel will appeal to readers of Autonomous by Annalee Newitz and Mickey7 by Edward Ashton.
First 300:
Chapter 1
Twenty Deaths or Fewer

“You need to die less.”
The words had bounced around James’ mind for several days. As his body hurled toward the ground, he couldn’t stop thinking about dying less. It was his first suicide; he wasn’t sure what else to think about. Maybe he should have thought about his childhood. A warm memory of being with his mother. Anything other than the mundanity of policy changes and premium charges. What poetic things do other people die thinking about, he wondered. Of course there were a million other, better things to ponder while falling twenty stories. None of that mattered in the end. This end, that is; not any of the other twenty endings James has had. It had started three days ago, when James had a meeting with Marie Carmine, his local clone insurance agent. They met in her office at C-Insure when she had said it.
“You need to die less.”
James was dumbfounded. The problem wasn’t the price, the system, or the deep sigh in which Marie had callously said it, the problem was him, according to her.
Marie had given this speech to her customers with alarming frequency as of late. Even though she had lost count of the number of times she had explained the situation, it felt new and terrible and fresh every time one of her customers called or, in James Cross’s case, showed up at her door asking about their coverage change. She was at a loss for reassuring words after explaining the policy change to him.
“Maybe try and take a few days to weeks and calm down your adventures.” She felt like a doctor having to explain to a patient how to drink water.
“That’s your answer? Die less?

Hi gang! I just started my first week of t and I wanted to gush to someone in my age bracket and maybe gain some perspective on being an older ftm guy.
I've been dreading my 30s for... years now. Last year, when I turned 29, I finally decided I wanted to start the next decade of my life as a guy, but put the process off because I didn't even have a PCP.
Anyway, now that I'm halfway to my 30th (and the fear is setting in), I finally took a friend's advice and went in for a consultation at a trans clinic expecting fück all (living in a red state). I had an awesome experience with the doc and literally left with a t script the same day. It was genuinely SO validating to have someone trust that I'm nearly 30 and know what I want. I've been so used to (as a former young woman) hearing the dreaded "Why? Are you sure?" from doctors to the most banal stuff (shoutout to the doc who refused to check my iron levels because "all women think they have anemia but they never do"). The only question this doc asked me was "How long have you wanted to start t?" and found my "6 months" to be sufficient. For the first time EVER I felt happy to be 29 and finally be deemed 'old enough' to make my own decisions and be taken seriously.
(But if I'm being real, in like 6th grade I went to a girl's summer camp and told everyone a boy's name instead of my yucky girl one and had a very blissful 3 weeks of feeling giddy every time someone addressed me, but that's not relevant.)
My app was on a Tuesday, I got my t shot on Friday, and the wildest thing is, I don't have such a deep and profound dread of turning 30 anymore? I'm excited to see the changes I'll have by the time I'm 40, 50, which is so shocking to me because I've spent the last 3 years pretending I'm still 24. I just feel so EXCITED for my future, which I have not felt in YEARS. And the timing works out perfectly because by my b-day, I'll have been on t for 6 moths and will, as desired, start my 3rd decade as a guy.
​
So, rambling aside, guys who started later in life, what's something you're looking forward to in your 30s and 40s? And guys who are already in their late 30s/40s, what was the best change that came with aging? What do I have to look forward to? (Even if that involves balding.)

Greetings, When I(35M) was younger I was often considered a very intelligent and talented individual. I was proficient in writing and was talented in the in Arts. My life took a horrible turn when my brother died. I lost most of my faith, and everything that I loved to do suddenly became painful to do. I used to write screenplays and with a cast perform them. I continued doing this for a year but the last one I did I recall thinking to myself as the crowd applauded, I wish he was here to see this. It was the most bitter of sweets. So I stopped everything. That led to some game addiction and playing with other people to fill a hole. Even when I got a girl I often though t about how my bro and her would get along and I just got tired of these thoughts. I crashed for years and now my old friends and family I avoid. My friends have moved and done better things and often they call or text but ignore them. My most recent text was from whoa friend literally asked, "are you alive!?" Followed by several calls. He's doing great and now I just don't want to have people I care hear my lame story, because we know they're gonna ask " what are up to?!" My family is about the same. To know that I was such a promising role model to, now barely able to afford my own apartment, I rather be a ghost than a further disappointment. I know they still love me, but...several years later, until I have something of merit to show them.. I don't think I will want to reconnect with them. At least then I could say " well it took a long time but I made it". Or something along those lines I just recently watched Dr.K video on shame and I'm trying to work through and regain not only my will to push forward but also all my relationships back, I just may not have anymore friends by that time but I would at least be able to make new ones. Thanks for listening

For context, My bf and I have been together for more than a year now and last year ( previous week to my birthday) I went on a trip with him and his officemates. It was pretty good trip, I enjoyed the time I spent with them but honestly I and I've met them 2-3 times now.
Fast forward to this year, last month me and my boyfriend decided we'll go to Bangalore for a short trip as we both have been very busy lately ( we barely meet 1-2 times a month). Since my friends who've recently moved to blr for work have been inviting me, I was actually excited to go visit them with my bf ( my bf is just as much acquainted with my friends as I am with his friends). But whenever I bought up the topic of booking tickets he pushed me out of the topic saying what's the rush. But later he expressed that the plan might be off due to budget or time , which he did not express very clearly and I didn't want to force him. I was pretty upset regarding this and I have been longing to go see my friends in blr so I thought I'll go on my own, by when I expressed this yesterday he sounded disappointed as he was planning something better for the trip.
Today he asked me if we can go to a resort, I said yes and later he's expressed how it's another trip with his officemates ( few new faces added) and he also added how the won't let us be alone for more than 2 hours and we won't be sleeping alone as well ( it was the same during last trip too, we didn't get much of private time). Now hearing this, I don't feel very excited/ happy about this plan. As a friend's trip, I feel like this would be great. But calling this as a trip to celebrate my birthday ( he says they're planning to celebrate my birthday but I beleive this trip would be happening irrespective of it) with people I've only met a couple of times and where I won't be getting any private time with my bf, all these factors make me feel like this trip is not about me at all but him wanting to have fun with his officemates
I want to know if I'm just acting like a spoilt kid and not being grateful for what my bf is planning for me . (Ps: for his birthday I took him on a trip to Kerala , just the two of us ). And I feel bad about not going to meet my friends in Bangalore after i told them all that I'll be coming there with my bf.

(For those that just want the end product, here you go
I advise you strongly to download it instead of using Google Sheets, otherwise it could misplace most if not all the pictures I used)
Greetings everyone ! About a year ago I did make a damage calculator, for personnal use at first, and I had planned on making it for others too, so I had to make it understandable for others.
Sadly since I played a lot less after finishing this calculator, and got into other games, I kind of stopped playing consistently and totally forgot to do this ....
I recently got back into the game and am currently catching up with a year worth of content, plus all I already had to do so I've been busy.
And I remembered I had this file on my computer, so I decided to see if it still worked, for the most it does, but as some new stuff has been added I've been forced to change a bit of what I did, one thing led to another and I did the whole thing from scratch.
But in the first place how come I did a Damage Calculator ?
Well, Story Time it is !
Story time:
Whilst farming AD I noticed that despite being under the same buff/debuff/conditions, and hitting the same enemy, my damage wasn't a fixed value, so I understood from this situation that there is some RNG in the damage value of this game . I thought it would be kind of neat to have a damage calculator to see what kind of fluctuation there is, or simply know how much damage I could do without actually doing it in game.
Little did I know is that this idea took me through a long journey that lasted for about 2-3 months.
And after searching, it appears there was a post that was made around 5 years ago or so, on a spreadsheet (by u/will_jojo, thank you by the way to this person) calculating damage. Great, right ? Well, yes and no, I'm a dumbass so I didn't understand a single thing of it and totally gave up when I saw formulas, number and different values to input. Needless to say my experience when it comes to spreadsheet prior to this journey was near 0 . Plus since it is 4 years old with all the new mechanics and grastas and stuff it is sort of outdated (I know there was a second version too that did include grastas) To put it bluntly it appeared to be too hard to me, so while it was cool that someone did this, it wasn't useful to me since I didn't understand any of it.
So then, I had a "brilliant" idea and thought to myself: "How about I just make it myself, that way I know it won't be outdated and there'll be everything I want in it, simple as that !" Never have I been struck by karma so fast....
I searched if there was a thing such as a damage formula for this game. Turns out there was and it was on the wiki all this time! By the way thanks to the people that made this wiki as always, and props to the people that made this hellish formula.
So I clicked on the page to see the formula and the details as to how it works. Needless to say I ended up having a stroke given the sheer size of that page. Jokes aside it was a really well detailed page and you can see the amount of work that was put into it, but my dum-dum brain had trouble processing all of it. After taking a break and reading through it while understanding absolutely nothing, I reduced this to "so it IS just a formula after all, simple enough for me to make a damage calculator, right ?"
And with my experience in terms of spreadsheet, it was litterally sink or swim, watching tutorials so as to understand a bit about spreadsheets and stuff. I can't stress out how much this forehead of mine encountered the hardness of my wall during the creation of this Calculator.
As you have guessed it was a pain to do it, mentally and well, physically, damned be this wall. First I had to actually read the entire page of wiki concerning the damage formula several times so as to understand it, which in and of itself took me quite some time.
As for the looks of it, I totally took the same direction as u/will_jojo by doing it on a spreadsheet.
The main difference being that mine is a mess. Then I had to turn all the gibberish of the damage formula wiki page into actual spreadsheet formulas, and make it understandable by people like me, as well as just about anyone.
Also making sure the values were good by testing them myself with my units, making sure that it wouldn't break if a buff/debuff was applied etc.... To put it in a nutshell, I had an awful lot to do to keep me busy, but after a lot of pain I finally succeeded in putting all of this together and make it both viable and working, at least for this first version that is. Because there still is an awful lot to do in terms of enhancements, especially visually because it's a real mess let's face it....
(I'll spare you the details on the numerous times where it went wrong, just know there were A LOT of times where I had to start over, either because of a crash, my fat fingers making a mess in formulas or me simply going in the wrong way...)
I tried to take into account as much things as possible, but I may have forgotten some .
Keep in mind: I have no skills when it comes to maths or using a spreadsheet prior to this, so what I did may be inefficient/have unnecessary brackets/could be shortened. You are free to use it for yourself, share it, ignore it, or upgrade it (if you like to torment yourself with long formulas that is). If you have any feedback about this or criticism (especially negative one as it's the best indicator as to what's to change), feel free to let me know .
As for the way it works, it' very simple: -Sheet 2: A step by step instructions as to how to use Page 3 properly
-Sheet 3: The calculator, just type the values of your unit as well as other values (buffs/debuffs/effects/etc....)
-Sheet 4: A page where I explain precisely how I made that Damage Calculator this way people can understand what I did and perhaps find things I did wrong if you are interested in how I made it.
And with that have fun, I stay available if you have any questions.

Do you ever have childhood nightmares or dreams? As for me, at a very young age, I always got nightmares whenever we watched something scary or even just a mention of ghosts. Where I grew up in the Philippines, there was this fantasy show that we watched as kids. Thinking about it now, it's kind of creepy. Whether it was about fairies or friendly ghosts, I still got creeped out and had nightmares about it. There was this nightmare of mine that traumatized me as a kid. You don't really remember your dreams until you're eating breakfast and it suddenly hits you that you had a nightmare before waking up. It's about this island. Imagine the town/island where the Teletubbies are. That one, but imagine it with brown grass instead of green, complete darkness instead of the baby sun, and instead of open space, it's filled with creepy trees. All I remember is running towards that forest and something chasing me. I couldn't look back and kept running. I could feel the trees snitching on my location until I stumbled over a big root of a massive tree.
There's a scratch on my knee and I can feel it sting. With my petite body and out-of-breath lungs, all I did was stare at my bleeding knees. I wasn't crying, but I know I was scared. *Dum...dum...dum.* I could hear it, not in my ears but in my heart. It seems like my heart is synchronizing to the vibration. I still don't know what's out there, but I know I should be running away from it. I saw a silhouette walking towards me slowly. It's big, but not giant big. I close my eyes and then suddenly I am awake, lying down straight like a person in a coffin.
I never talked to anyone about my nightmares. It's normal to have nightmares, but the people around me are saying that it's not normal for a kid to sleep straight like a dead body. I never really took it seriously. I kept having weird nightmares of running in a dark place again. I still don't know who's chasing me. When you are a kid, you have very vivid memories of what your childhood was like. Mine is filled with nightmares. I did still enjoy my childhood and yet still able to be a 'normal' kid. I had plenty of friends, played in the street, and did such fun things. I still feel like something is missing and I tend to mix up memories with dreams. When you are a kid, you have such wild imaginations that you think it is real, but once you turn into an adult, you think that it's impossible for that to happen in the real world. That is just one of the nightmares that stuck in my head and that something I still dream about.
I remember having this dream, or perhaps something happened? Until now, it still confuses me, but here's how it goes. I was playing with my cousins and some of our friends. It was in the middle of the night, maybe 8 or 9 PM? I know it was dark, with streetlights shining through the street. Living in the busiest city in the Philippines, you would still see a bunch of people outside. We were playing hide and seek. I was thankful that I was not 'it' this time. As the seeker counted to 10, we all spread around and found a place to hide.
I decided to hide behind a motorized tricycle, as we simply call them tricycles (just Google what it looks like). One of my friends came with me, but I told her to go away as I didn’t want to get found. She ran off and found another place to hide. I was chuckling, and I could still hear people around me talking and laughing, but in my mind, I just didn’t want to get caught.
I didn’t hide far away from where the seeker was; I could still hear him counting 'and… 10.' Suddenly, everything went quiet. I was quiet too, as I didn’t want him to find me first. I crouched back behind the motorized tricycle, and I could hear him walking far away from me. I sighed with relief. I heard that he found someone far away, as I heard one of my cousins scream in excitement because the seeker found her.
I chuckled.
I didn’t hear any footsteps, but I could see a shadow coming towards me as the tricycle was parked just below a lamppost. I slowly moved around to avoid being found, circling slowly and getting into the rhythm of the shadow. Now, there was a gap inside the motorcycle where I could see the other side. I slowly looked through the gap and, to my surprise, saw a figure looking at me. I got startled, but I didn’t scream. I stood up right away, and to my surprise, I was back there again, on that island.
The tricycle that was in front of me became a tree. Not just a tree, but a tree with massive roots that made me stumble in my previous dream. I was confused. Even now, as I think of it, I know it’s not a dream, but it's getting weirder. My first thought was 'Where are my friends?' The figure I saw earlier was gone. I got out from behind that tree and searched around the forest for an exit. As I was running, I could hear mumbling sounds. I was a kid, and my brain was controlling this stuff, so I went and followed the sounds. One sound seemed familiar—it was my friend's voice—but it seemed like something was stuck in her mouth; it was echoing through the forest.
As the sounds became clearer, my eyes couldn’t believe what I saw. My friends and cousins were tied to the trees, their mouths covered with tape. In my mind, I had to get out of there because I was scared as hell, but at the same time, I wanted to help them. I ran to my cousin first, and as I was going near her, a figure appeared behind her tree. It had eight hands like a spider, but it was brown and shaped like a cockroach. It had a face like a human—technically an image of a human in a cockroach-spider-looking costume. His or her face had makeup that blended with what it was wearing, and it was smiling towards me; I could see its yellow teeth.
"We've looked everywhere for you," it said while slowly coming towards me.
I couldn’t speak or move. I was so scared. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.
"Now we can start the game," it said in the friendliest way possible. "I won't hurt you or your friends. I just want to play," it added.
Being raised to be nice to everyone, I nodded. I still wasn't speaking.
"Can I get a hug?" it requested.
I nodded again.
It hugged me, and I could feel all of its legs on my body. The thing I thought was its costume? It was actually connected to it. It was warm, and I just closed my eyes. I touched one of its legs, and it felt sticky. Suddenly, I woke up and saw my grandma's husband staring at me, telling me to wake up as it's time for school, and then he left. I saw my left palm was kind of sticky, sweat, I guess.
That's all I can remember from that time. I went to school and lived the rest of the day as a "normal" kid, still thinking about that nightmare. Some of my dreams are not all nightmares; they are happy dreams too. But what's stuck with me is that every time I have a nightmare, it's basically a continuation of the other, but it only happens once I completely forget about it.
Later that same year, I dreamt about it again, but differently. I had already made friends with this creature. It seems that I completely accepted it, and I was not scared of it anymore, but I was not happy either. There was something about it that still seemed odd to me, but I was just not reacting to any of it. We would play tag, hide and seek, and other games. As I noticed the place getting darker and darker, I also noticed that a few of my friends who were in my dreams were getting fewer and fewer until it was just us. It still kept its attitude, lively and happy to play with me. I asked it, "Aren't you sad?" It just kept smiling for a good 5 seconds and slowly frowned, answering, "Why would I? You are all I need as a friend." Then it started jumping around like those mascots you see in kids' TV shows. I remained the same, not happy, not sad, but I went with its flow.
I also noticed that before I woke up, it hugged me, like saying goodbye and at the same time inviting me to see each other again. There was something about its hug too. I could feel the warmth of its eight legs covering my whole body and its breath around my neck. In my dreams, I kept touching at least one of its legs. It seemed that it became a habit, and I could feel it sticky. I woke up again in a straight laying-down position, and my hands were drying, but I could feel the wetness. Then my grandma's new husband was ready to take me to school again.
When I was 9, my mom decided that my siblings, my dad, and I would move to my mom’s side for 3 years before leaving the Philippines. It was my dad's side where I kept having nightmares. I don’t get those nightmares anymore. Sometimes I miss them, and sometimes I wonder if they miss me too. I stopped looking for them. I feel like they went away when I started going to church with my strictly Catholic grandmother. We had to wake up at 6 am to prepare for church, and every day for those 3 years, we had to pray at 7 pm for an hour. We knelt in front of the saints' statues, and my belief in God strengthened. I forgot about the nightmares. I lived like a normal child, had a great childhood, had a bunch of friends, and grew up to be a decent girl. My mom announced that we were all leaving for Canada, and I just remember being so excited about it.
I was 11 years old when I and my friends were playing outside my house. I know I was still a kid then, even if my grandma keeps telling me to stop playing as I am already a grown woman (culture things). Our neighbour's are like aunts and uncles to us; I play with their kids sometimes who're the same age as me. We are all close to each other, even the adults. They treat us as their own since my mom grew up with them as well. One of my neighbors, whom I called “Tito” (uncle in Tagalog), called me and asked me when we were leaving for the Philippines. I told him soon, and he told me how I looked like my mom. I told him how much I miss my mom and how I cannot wait to see her again. He gave me a hug, and then my world stopped. This hug looks familiar. I can feel his breathing around my neck and the warmth of his hug. His hands are playing on my back, slowly stroking it. I swallowed and told him that I had to go since my grandma was probably looking for me. He let go and smiled at me. I just felt tears running through my eyes, and everything came back.
I was SA when I was a kid. I was SA by my step grandfather at my dad’s side. I feel like throwing up, and I can feel everything crawling toward me. I remember the first time he did it. When my mom left, he started touching me. As a kid, I treated him as a monster and just created these scenarios in my head. Even my childhood friends saw it, but since we were kids at the time, what would they know? It was inside the motorized trycicle where he was touching all over, but he said that we were just playing hide and seek and that he found me. It was then that I was so ashamed to play with my friends, as I remember one of my cousins stopping coming over because he started touching her too. The place is my dark place. Now I remember everything. I was so mad and angry. I remember that I would wake up in those positions after he touched me and felt my whole body. And remember the sticky thing in my hands? Yeah, it was his semen that he wiped away before I got to sleep, which is why whenever I am about to wake up, he is almost always there.
Now that I am in my 20s, I have tried to move on, yet the trauma still lingers within me. That monster died a few years ago, and his last words to me were, “Do you still remember me?”. I never had a chance to confront him. I opened up about my experience to a couple of my friends and gave advice to those who have experienced it too. I help those friends of mine who are still experiencing it and assist them in getting out of that situation. My only regret is that I was too afraid. I used to blame myself, but not anymore. None of it is my fault; I was just a child. I was not strong enough to keep my peace, still thinking that it is all a dream for the sake of my peace of mind. I wanted to apologize to the kid in me for not protecting her during those times, but I will never let that happen again to anyone that I know of. I now live in Canada, working in an office and happily thinking that my monster’s body is burning in hell. Thank you for reading. Please always watch out for whoever is watching your kids, your younger siblings, as you never know even the very person you trust can do massive damage to your loved ones.

TLDR: I asked my mom (my baby’s caretaker while I’m at work) to follow a few rules for introducing first foods to my baby, and she got upset saying that I need to “give her more credit” and trust her more.
My baby is 5 months old as of Sunday. I work full time (4 10’s). My mom told me that while I’m at work, he’s not interested much in a bottle at her house. When I’m with him I don’t see this side of him, he breastfeeds/nurses when I’m there and takes a bottle for my husband well. However, my mom seemed really concerned and saying that he’s ready for solids. I told her I would rather wait until he can sit up better on his own/closer to 6 months based on research I’ve done… but I trust her opinion, she’s raised 3 babies and ran an in home daycare previously. So, on my day off yesterday I tried some mashed avocado with him. He did okay, it mostly made a huge mess but I think he did swallow some of it and seemed to like it. Last night, I messaged her with some of my concerns/stipulations to follow with introducing solids. Here was my exact text to her:
“A few things before we dive straight into solids, it might sound silly to you but I need to make sure we're on the same page. I've done a lot of research and I just want what's best for his safety 1. Please don't introduce a new food without me or at least run it by me first. 2. I want you to take a basic infant cpr class. I'll pay for it if I can't find a free one. Just in case he would start choking. 3. His main source of nutrients still needs to be from breastmilk until at least 1 year. Always offer milk first and then purees if he's acting hungry. 4. He's still not sitting up on his own & not hit all of the milestones for readiness although I agree he is ready in other aspects, but I still want to take it slow & not rush anything. I hope you understand this.”
Her text back said “I’m not getting cpr certified. I’ll refresh myself. Is Adam (my husband) or David (my husbands dad who rarely watches him) certified? They are the worry, not me. I’m more educated on babies than most. If you can’t trust my care with him, maybe we need a new plan for his care. I’ve been way more up front with you than a daycare would be. Give me more credit. I’m his grandma, not just some childcare provider. Took that tougher than I expected. Luckily for you.. I’ll get over it quickly. You might need to reign in your “first time mom” feelings a bit. Give me more credit”.
I agree that a full cpr class is a little excessive, I more meant a refreshea simple video. However, I don’t think the others are asking too much. I don’t think it’s fair that she threw it in my face that she’s doing us a favor by watching him. She is, but she also was the one who volunteered/wanted to watch him and I tell her all the time how appreciative I am about this. AITAH or is she completely disregarding my feelings/safety concerns?

One year today
It's one year today. Feeling triggered which has been uncommon over the last two months. He's planned a 5 day trip for us. He's included planned times for us to talk about feelings and open up. Honestly I have zero things to say about the past. A one time physical betrayal, which led to his confession an hour after. I've forgiven her a few months ago.
He's been very supportive and understanding. It's helped my healing quite a bit. Recently he's been stressed with work, and the loss of a nephew last week, and we've been arguing a little about unrelated things. I've grown accustomed to being the sad little thing that always needs his attention, now in counseling it's being brought up that his cup hasn't been filled for a year, and he's struggling to continue to not get it filled and paint a smile on at the same time. I agree, regardless of what happened a year ago, it's hard for any human to go a year without having your spouse try to recharge your battery here and there.
Him being very stressed and depressed is triggering though, my brain connects it with last year. I shared this with him. He told me that we are married and he respects our marriage, and that one didn't cause the other. I feel so much better than I thought I would one year out. It doesn't consume my thoughts, I don’t feel the need to talk to him about it. Some days I feel a dull sadness, or unsettled anxiety about keeping our marriage good and happy. We were so miserable and about to divorce when he betrayed me. So us arguing is always a huge trigger for me. But I'm learning to move past that trigger, because there will be many times we are both stressed and I can't let that sink the ship every time.
The betrayal did breathe life into our dead marriage. We had to start from ground zero. He's a better husband than he ever was, and a better father. I feel much wiser and stronger after going through this. I hope anyone who reads this who isn't as far along feels some sense of peace knowing that it absolutely can get better.
I'm open to questions if anyone has any. I consider us honestly a best case scenario and it took everything we both had to do it. Hardest thing either of us has ever done in our life. Could never have done it without God. We are each other's best friend now, and I honestly love him more than I ever have, and we have a deeper connection than we ever had before. However, I'd never wish this on my worst enemy. Best of luck to everyone, and still.. fuck these affairs xoxo

J, I miss you so badly. You’re the youngest person I’ve ever dated but somehow you’re the best thing I ever (almost) had. You’re so beautiful. You put everyone before yourself, are always there to help make life easy, magnetic, brilliant, charming, wise, driven, ambitious (way too ambitious but it’s cute), sooo unapologetically honest and really you’re just the embodiment of everything I want in a partner. I’m really sorry it took me so long to see that. I miss the way you’d openly say how you’re feeling like it was normal, like people did that? You’d come up with excuses to see me, go to events you know I was at and volunteer telling me that you just wanted to be next to me. You supported me heavily. You’d go to meetings for me and demand that I get what I wanted. You were the person to stand up for me behind closed doors. You always, always had my back. You’d stand close, just to be near me and no one would know about us. It was special, just for us.
The whole world stopped making sense to me the moment you pulled back and began the downward spiral of bland, effortless, mind numbing conversations that were limited to “how was your day”. The world felt dull and monochromatic. I don’t know if it was me pushing you back months prior but I tried to do everything to erase that. Maybe you didn’t see it? Maybe I should’ve done more? Maybe if I saw this coming.. Every single day I felt you caring less and less. Just in case I misinterpreted anything, which I was hoping I was, I kept trying even when it made me feel stupid. I felt stupid very often. I am so prideful, I have always put my pride before anyone- but not ever you. I kept forcing a smile and for the first time in our small history, I didn’t fight you off when things got hard. I asked you several times if we were okay and you assured me- you’re going through something and you asked me to be understanding. My understanding was compromised when I saw someone else getting all of the attention that was supposed to be special for me. You said it was nothing but why are you disappearing from speaking to me in the middle of our conversations? You were killing me.
5 months ago you admitted you “fell hard” and I handled that carefully, I didn’t feel the same and you’re young, so I understood that as you being excited about the concept of me. But then it was my turn. A part of me died at your lack of response to “I’m falling in love with you”. I would have never imagined you’d be able fall asleep that night knowing you were torturing me with avoiding the subject. Dancing around it felt like you were laughing at me. Days past and you still didn’t address it….So I had to stop responding and start grieving you. My god, am I grieving you.
I feel like something that was so beautiful and rare was ripped away from me and I don’t know what to do with myself. I almost had you. I know I said I was falling in love with you, but that was half of the truth. I really don’t know how you’d believe anything other than I love you. You’re so easy to love, regardless of what you think. It’s so easy I can do it with my eyes closed. Regardless of how things ended, you were a wonderful experience and I would do it again.

Many apes are asking if DFV is going to start live streaming again because of the Fight Club speech.
I don’t think he will, and here’s why. Our image of the Kitty/DFV right now is exactly what we needed and he knows that. That’s what he’s trying to convey. I think giving us more insight to Keith and his thoughts and theories take away from the power of the mysteriousness. Roaring Kitty (his YouTube stream) was the perfect set up to become DFV.
What I want to do is think about this from his perspective. Forget the fact that he’s a time traveling god (true). Forget that he knows what’s going on (also obviously true) and just think about the ride he’s been on. It’s a classic coming of age story for a hero.
Keith Gill was once just a young husband and dad, trading stocks by day, live streaming by night to his four followers. It was life as an every day man in Boston. He was Roaring Kitty. He was incredibly kind, intelligent, and positive. An absolute gem of a human. He was what any of us could have considered to be a good person and friend. He was also wicked smart and most importantly, right.
But then, like many classic heroes (Luke Skywalker, Katniss Everdeen, Frodo Baggins, Harry Potter) he accidentally found himself centered in this midst of chaos caused by other forces (hedge funds) at a time with lots of unrest (COVID/Politics/Wagrowing income inequality). He did something that the masses saw as bigger than he meant.
The people took Roaring Kitty and we turned him into DFV, this larger than life, always had the answer, could save us type of archetype hero.
Imagine you were in his shoes. Husband, father to a young child, newly a huge millionaire, but the face of a revolution, which you don’t ask for. You were just trading stocks.
Now, in Feb 2021, you have a choice. You have become rich and the power holders are after you. You see all the DD about how rigged the game is and how the rich continue to get richer - do you ride off into the sunset and leave the regular apes that you now know are getting screwed, or do you do something about it?
I think with several of these tweets, he’s been basically saying “I chose to stay”. Specifically, with the Fight Club tweet, Edward Norton’s character is going around town and average people are saying that they inspired him, just like what almost certainly had happened with Roaring Kitty. He’s the perfect example of what we want our heroes to be, and we took Roaring Kitty and turned him into DFV.
And now he’s accepting that. He sees what’s going on, he understands he has the power to change things, he’s willing to put himself at great personal risk to stand with us.
Honestly, when we win, I hope this is the story that’s told and that people understand. Keith didn’t ask for this, we asked for DFV. The masses need a leader, and after 3 years, he’s now saying “look, I’m not doing any of this shit, but I understand why I matter to you. I am here, and answering the call the way I know best. Memes and hype”.
Kitty isn’t a god, he isn’t a time traveler, he isn’t omnipotent, but he is a normal person that has stepped up and that’s why we should admire him. He probably has the same fear that any of us would have, more so than we would have, but he’s telling us he’s with us anyway. I do think He’s very smart and has most importantly, put in the work. I do think he has more info than we do. But honestly, it’s better for us if we don’t get to be part of his brainstorming. He’s gonna get things wrong, and it’s better for us if we don’t see that. The image of DFV is more important than the thoughts of roaring Kitty (at the moment).
One of my favorite moments in a story to illustrate the idea of a reluctant hero, forced into action for the good of the people is when Frodo says to Gandalf “I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.”
And Gandalf responds: “So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
And Keith has decided to be DFV, the ring bearer, the mocking jay, the chosen one, the one who brings balance to the force. I see you and thank you , Keith, Kitty, DFV.

[First] - [Prev] - [Next]
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Memory transcription subject: Herq, Tilfish Junior Exterminator
Date [standardized human time]: December 3rd, 2136
“Understood, on our way.” Frankie stuffed his radio away.
“W-What? More Arxur?” I shivered.
“Don’t think so. Hope not. We gotta go to the van.”
The human didn't give me time to reply as he stepped over the body like it wasn’t even there. Swallowing some bile, I took aimed steps around it. The smell of blood wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It wasn’t any worse than burning flesh.
The stomps of Frankie’s boots down the stairs reminded me to keep moving. I scuttled down the stairs, turning the corner to see another body I was forced to step around. Two of them had come after us, two who were even more eager than the first group we encountered.
“Do you t-think it’s the same ones from before?” I asked.
The human grunted. “Hell if I know. But I wouldn’t doubt it one bit if it was. Guy got his ego hurt, and wanted some revenge. God knows if he was waiting there for an ambush.”
“They… couldn’t have known about the weapons, right?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. He at least knew we were stranded without a vehicle. Maybe put his bets on us getting some transport.”
I didn’t have much time to ponder it. Frankie was already peeking outside the building, shotgun raised. I came up behind him, checking behind as we scooted out of the building. Once he was confident, Frankie dashed towards the van.
We came upon it quickly. I was glad the Arxur he shot was on the other side to spare me from the gore. He turned around to the backside of the van, where his face contorted. “Holy shit.”
“What?” I asked, coming around next to him.
The scaly legs are the first thing I saw. They led up to its back, which looked like it had exploded. Blood was nearly everywhere around the gray, and I even thought I saw a piece of bone. My whole body begged me to run away from the gore, to find a corner to throw up in, but I couldn't look away. And that didn't even cover the Yotul.
The green-stained wraps around his legs were the first thing I noticed after the hulking mass of reptile. His right paw was a bleeding mess haphazardly wrapped in a loose bandage, and his other was curled around an Arxur gun—its gun, I realized. His face had speckles of red on it, much like the rest of the van. There was what could only be described as a huge gun beside him.
Relief washed over his features once he saw us, and he let the weapon clatter onto a bloody crate. “Where’s Luke?”
I watched Frankie for any signs of turning feral, despite the improbability of it ever happening. The copious amount of blood was more than enough to drive any predator into a crazed frenzy, but still Frankie showed enormous restraint. If anything, he almost looked… disgusted by it. I shouldn’t have been surprised.
He took a quick breath to steady himself. “Uh, Dusty took a few rounds, he’s patching her up. I see you can… handle yourself.”
“No,” the Yotul spat back. “It almost…” His voice broke, and he shook his head.
Frankie nodded. “Let’s get moving. I’ll… clear the way, if you could help him, Herq.” The human crouched down and gripped the monster's legs and gave a tug. He started sliding the body out of the way, a trail of blood marking every crate it was slumped over.
I took a step forward, suppressing a gag at the sights and smells. It was like walking into a predator’s den. Dark and damp and terrible, with evidence of what happened drowning my entire field of view. “W-What happened? It looks-”
“I shot the bastard.”
I twitched my antennae. “R-Right.” I took several breaths before finding the strength to proceed. I tried to ignore the blood marked across the walls and creeped in, though I couldn’t ignore the green smears that were on the crates. I did my best to avoid stepping on… anything, really.
The Yotul grabbed a red box full of first aid supplies and set it by his right side. He began to peel off the green-stained gauze on his paw. “I need an extra paw for this.”
“Of course. You’re Reno, right?” He ignored me. I felt a shiver spread through my carapace as he revealed the wound. “T-Those look like-”
“Yeah, I know.”
I gave him a flick of my antennae. He raised a bottle of what I assumed to be antibiotic solution, which I took. I gingerly uncapped the bottle and murmured, “This is going to sting.”
“Do you constantly state the obvious? Just get it over with.”
I took his paw in my feeler and generously poured it over the wound. He let out a small groan, but nothing more. I wiped it, then took some gauze and began wrapping it far better than he could with just a paw and a mouth. I tightened it, and sealed it with some adhesive.
“There. I-I think that’s good, but I don’t commonly work with other species.”
“I can tell.” The Yotul began to get up on their injured legs.
“A-Are you sure you should be walking?” He ignored me again. I stuck out an arm to help him. “Here, at least-”
“I don’t need your help,” he spat, slapping me away with annoyance. He shakily stood up, leaning precariously against the side of the van atop the crates.
I waved my antennae with concern. “I… Let me know if-”
“I won’t,” he coldly said, not giving me so much as a glance back as he hobbled out of the van.
I don’t blame him. The Arxur looked like he was inches away from tearing him apart. Not to mention the claw marks on his wrist… I can’t imagine what happened to him just moments ago.
I crawled out of the van after him, glad to be out, but probably not nearly as glad as him. Frankie came from around the van and dusted his hands.
“That was gross.” He turned to Reno. “You’re up already? Your legs are-”
“Worry about them when we’re in the truck. We need to get the fuck away from here.” He leaned against the van, catching his breath. He was clearly in pain, but didn’t want to show it.
“Gotcha. Luke should be—ah, right there.”
I followed his gaze, spotting the truck rolling towards us with its cracked windows and decorated doors. It stopped right beside the van. A human stepped out, the same one from the predator disease facility. He took one look at Reno, worry spreading across his face. “Holy shit.”
Reno grunted. “That’s what Frankie said.”
“I… We can talk in the truck,” Luke decided.
“Is my gun still in the building?”
“In the backseat.”
The Yotul lowered his head, letting out a breath of relief. I didn’t understand how much a simple firearm could possibly mean to him, but I wasn’t about to question him about it.
Lieutenant Holtas came to the other side of the van, whistling once he saw the crate. “Damn, this is… a lot.”
“Enough to turn the tide, I hope?” Frankie asked.
“There’s a chance it might be… If there’s anything left once we get back. Two of their bunkers are already swarming with Arxur.”
“T-Two?” I stammered. “Which ones?”
The predator shook his head dismissively. “Talk later.”
I shook my antennae in irritation, until another human then emerged from around the truck. It was the dark-skinned, dark-haired human from before as well, Dusty. Her vest had several lesions across it, far more than the few Frankie had received during his gutsiness. She wasn’t unscathed, however, as her left sleeve had been pulled up, revealing a stripe of bandaging. Her eyes regarded me with an expression I couldn't decipher, turning into a more shocked expression when they saw Reno. “...Damn.”
The Lieutenant turned to her. “Keep an eye out from where they came. Reno, do the same for the other side of the street. I’m not looking to get ambushed again.”
The two signaled their understanding. Luke’s gaze lingered a little longer on the wounded Yotul as he hobbled to retrieve his weapon from the truck.
Frankie grunted from behind me, picking up two big and bloodied crates. “Open the doors, would ya?”
I obliged, yanking open the hatches to the truck so the burly human could deposit the weapons. Luke walked past me, saw the mess in the back of the van, and shook his head while muttering something. Still, he crouched and grabbed two crates in each hand.
I couldn’t very well just stand around, so I begrudgingly walked over and picked the cleanest crates I could manage while repelling the numerous dry heaves my body wanted to conjure. I hefted them up, and followed the same path as Luke and Frankie.
I passed Dusty, who groaned, rubbing her left arm. “Why do these idiots use such a small caliber? You’d think they’d want to kill the people they’re shooting at.”
I nervously tilted my antennae. “You would… hope so.”
“They enjoy the thrill of the hunt,” Reno growled. “Use it to just incapacitate their prey. Dead ones don’t squirm while they’re eaten.”
An uncomfortable silence fell over the street. As we continued to load the human armaments into the truck, the two kept a cautious set of eyes out on either side of the street. Frankie managed to fit the big gun back into its respective crate while Luke stared at it, incredulously. Dusty glanced back with a similar look, which gave me the feeling the predators were all thinking the same thing. The only one who didn’t break his focus was Reno.
The van got emptier, the truck got fuller, and soon enough we were ready to leave this place for good. Luke gave us the clear and got into the driver seat. Frankie took the front passenger seat, leaving the three of us to squeeze into the back. The windshield left a lot to be desired, and I wondered if Luke would even be able to see through it.
It was cramped, to say the least. I was forced into the side, with the Yotul in the middle, while Dusty filled in the remaining seat. From someone looking in from outside, it would be a very strange sight to behold.
She slammed the door shut. “Tight fuckin’ fit. Hope we have enough fuel.”
“Won’t be an issue,” Luke said, sending the engine revving as we began to accelerate.
Thank Formi we’re finally leaving. How long have I been awake for? How long have the Arxur been in Tepisil? And how are the exterminators from the human camp doing? There’s far too much to worry about.
I hoped Tealk was fine in the hatchery’s bunker. That is, if it wasn’t already compromised. Tepisil was given the tiny mercy of just a small warning prior to any bombs dropping. The shelters were likely packed to the brim. Just waiting for the Arxur to come.
“Frankie, give me some light, would ya?” Dusty ordered. She had pulled Reno’s hindlegs on her lap, and was now inspecting them with the help of Frankie’s flashlight. I could see the green blood that had leaked down his legs from the wounds, along with pieces of black debris.
Reno had no choice but to let Dusty tend to him. I tried my best to ignore the blood she was forcing out by ripping through the bandages, though I gagged upon seeing her dig into his flesh with a pair of tweezers, pulling out a small bullet while he hissed in pain. Those were the only noises for a time while the human used a strange syringe to push some sort of foam into the wound, then tightly wrapping his legs.
She did a better job than I ever could’ve. At this point, it shouldn’t have impressed me that the predators had a concept of medicine or even treatment for the wounded, rather than just leaving the weak for dead. The amount of care she put into someone from another species spoke volumes to the humans’ empathetic capacity.
The streetlights of the city finally receded from us. I could almost feel the weighty air in the truck lighten, like a part of the despair had been left behind in Dirlsil. It wouldn’t last for long.
At some point in the middle of all the crop fields, Frankie cleared his throat. “Can I be the one to break the silence? ‘Cause Reno shot that gray with a whole bloody anti-materiel rifle.”
“God, I’m glad somebody finally fucking said it. Point blank, too,” Dusty said.
The Yotul didn’t offer a response, only stared off into the distance. I felt nothing but sympathy for him. They meant well, but I suspected they did more harm than good. The humans clearly had no idea what he’d just gone through; the fear, the uncertainty, the possibility of being eaten alive. I had a feeling the only reason he was alive was because of his quick thinking, the Arxur’s cockiness, and luck.
Luke cleared his throat. “Uh, how did you fare, Frankie? I saw the marks on your vest.”
My human grunted. “Barely even felt them hit me. Once the shooting started we dove back into the toy shop. Arxur are damn cocky bastards, but I don’t reckon they’re used to whatever they’re chasing fighting back so hard. Shot one, ran up the stairs, shot the other. Easy as that.”
It was not, in fact, as easy as that. I was terrified the entire time. It was Frankie who did everything, and even then, he screamed and shouted during the entire encounter. He was fearless in the face of fear while I had been useless. Again. My only saving grace was that I didn’t freeze like I did at the PD facility, even if that meant I merely ran instead. I felt a stab of anger mixed with regret, an entirely unwelcome feeling that I decidedly earned.
I can’t rely on the Terrans forever. At some point, my uncontrollable fear is going to cost lives. I… I can’t let fear be the driver.
“We had four of the fuckers on us,” Dusty said. “Retreated into the store opposite yours. We were doing just fine ‘till one of them tossed a grenade.”
I felt Reno tense up to me. He had a thousand-lightyear stare.
“Then they came in after us, separated us from Reno. They were fucking relentless, didn’t give us a chance to fight. Forced us all the way back into the stockroom, then kept pushing their luck. Finally had a corner, then the bastards leapt forward rather than being smart, getting me tagged. Hurts like hell just thinking about flexing the muscle.”
“God, can we change the subject? I regret asking,” Lieutenant Holtas said, shifting uncomfortably. “Frankie, you want to try again with the UN? And Herq, now that you’re with us, can you contact Von and inform him of what happened?”
I almost flinched when he said my name. “Y-Yeah, of course.” I started to pull out my holopad. I hovered over Tealk’s contact before moving to Von’s. I tapped the icon, and it rang for only a second before he picked up.
“Herq?”
I pulled the pad closer, overhearing Frankie start his own call to the UN. “Yes, it’s me. We made it out of Dirlsil with the weapons, and we’re in one piece.”
“Formi is that good to hear. I won't sugarcoat it, things have gotten much worse. You may have heard it from the humans, but cattle shuttles just landed around Bunker Four… which has no one to defend it. Bunker Six had contact and they are at a stalemate, but won't stay that way. I… sincerely hope you brought lots of ammo.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I can’t say for certain what the predators brought with us… We’re driving as fast as we can, we expect to be there in forty minutes.”
“Too long… The grays are already going into buildings, trying to flush them out. We don’t have the firepower.”
“I… We need a rally point in order to distribute them as fast as possible.”
“One advantage is that they aren’t using their numbers prowling the empty buildings on the outskirts… Shit, Polle is calling me… It’s about Bunker Six. Listen, I’ll send you more information when I can. Call me ten minutes before you reach the city.”
“Yes, of course. Please, stay safe.”
“We both know that isn’t going to happen. Hurry.”
A tone signified he hung up the call. I tentatively swirled my antennae, seeing my company look away. “I-I’m guessing everyone heard that?”
Reno flicked his ears, and the humans nodded from the front seats. A steady silence came over us. It was probably well into the early hours of the morning at this point. My body was tired, and my mind more so. I knew well that I should have been more scared or worried, but I simply didn’t have the energy. It was like Frankie said earlier.
“Who wants a granola bar?” Frankie abruptly barked.
Luke shrugged. “I mean…”
The two humans accepted his offer, not like they had much choice since they were already being distributed. A bar was put into Reno’s paws, and suddenly, I was holding one too.
“It… doesn’t have meat, does it?” I asked.
“No, you idiot. I don’t eat meat,” Reno hissed, unwrapping his food.
“Sorry… I just wanted-”
“It’s just a bar of sugary grain. You’d think you would know by now that humans aren’t going to hurt you, or do anything else ‘predatory.’” He said the last word with distaste, like it personally offended him. He was clearly more used to the primates than I was, or ever could be. I knew they wouldn’t mean me any harm, but it was hard to shake off the thoughts that always lingered in my mind when around predators.
I thought his behavior was simply fried nerves from his close call with the Arxur, but there was something more to it, something bitter in his tone that hinted at more than just the last encounter. It reminded me of hearing about his outburst at my sister, Tealk, back at the hatchery. It didn’t sit right with me, but I wasn’t in any position to ask him about it, especially not at that moment.
Dusty was already stuffing the bar into her mouth, not much caring for how revolting I found it. I’d gotten used to their toothy smiles, but seeing her take a bite, just like she would chow down on a piece of bloody meat… If I wasn’t so hungry after so many hours, I would’ve lost my appetite.
Reno bit into the bar, and I carefully unwrapped mine, ignoring the female’s sickening mouth movements. I gave a cautionary sniff before taking a small nibble. It was acceptable, even good considering I hadn’t eaten for so long. I took another bite, then another, and then I noticed Dusty looking at me.
I couldn’t help the way my muscles tensed in agitation. She was instinctively sizing me up, now that food was on her mind. “W-What is it?” I stuttered.
She raised her eyebrows, glancing away. “Nothing. Just the way you move your hands, er… tarsals? Tarsals, across your mandibles when you eat. It’s… nevermind.”
My… tarsals? I flexed a feeler, inspecting it like something was wrong with it. I looked back at the predator, who was now looking out the window. At least she wasn’t… staring at me anymore. Humans got stranger every moment I spent with them. I thought there was a glimmer of hope that they wouldn’t all be as strange as Frankie, but that clearly had yet to be proven.
I took another small bite. Before I knew it, I had eaten the whole thing and had nothing left to occupy the time. There were only dark crop fields outside our truck, and predators or the predator-diseased inside. Nothing to distract me from the knowledge that Sillis was going to fall. Nothing to distract me from the thoughts telling me to give up, to run away, like a coward.
A muted atmosphere of haunting tranquility came over our vehicle, one that everyone silently and willfully acknowledged. We all knew what we were driving towards.
—
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Thanks to u/WCR_706 for proofreading. And, of course, thanks to SpacePaladin15 for the wonderful universe.

Hello everyone, So I recently took a temporary job opportunity 13 hours away from my partner and our polycule. We’ve been together for 10 months and are nesting partners with a total of 4 folx in the house. I’m performing in a dream role, and my cule couldn’t be happier for me. We figured we could make it work with frequent visits (I’ve been back twice and my primary partner has come to visit as well) but two months is turning out to be longer than I thought. What makes it even harder, however, is the introduction of a new nesting partner since I’ve been gone. For about a 2 weeks before I left, we’d been housing a friend who needed a place to stay temporarily. A couple days after I made the move, my partner tells me they’d become intimate. Usually im happy to hear about any new connections that bring my partner happiness, but this one has felt a bit different. With this person living with the polycule, the progression of the romance has happened a lot faster. They’ve been staying with us for a little over a month and a half now, and without me being there, I feel like im being replaced and missing out on everything. With all the NRE, I’ve been feeling a bit more distant from my partner as they enter this exciting part of a new connection, which I’ve been very open about with them. They don’t respond to my texts as much, and I don’t feel like a priority to them anymore as we used to be inseparable. It has been so hard going to sleep at night in a bed by myself and knowing that they’re in bed with their new partner, waking up next to them etc. Ive told them that with the distance, we should be a bit more intentional with one on one time and talking daily, but since she lives with 3 other people now im pretty much only able to get her on the phone while shes at work, where her attention is split. I fear that when i come back, things will not be the same as I’ve missed out on so much, the new partner would still be there (I mean, they’re newly in love, they really don’t have much of a reason to wanna leave) and I would have to share my partners time even more now, which is pretty limited since they work a pretty physical job almost every day. Last time I visited, I sometimes felt like an outsider on their relationship when we were all together. Seeing how affectionate she was with them and how disproportionately so she was with me, I realized how jealous I was becoming and addressed it with my partner. We had a great conversation and it seemed like everything was fine, but since we’ve separated again I still don’t feel like im getting what I need. I hate sounding like a needy and jealous twat, and don’t want to constantly bring it up and cause stress to my partner, but it just really sucks feeling pushed to the side. I don’t feel like I matter to the cule as much anymore. Ive been leaning into some self-soothing hobbies, but after some time passes im given a punch in the gut when I remember they’re doing all this fun stuff together and my partner hasn’t called me all day. It’s hard because I ALWAYS wanna talk to her because I miss her, but shes been able to skip the missing me deeply part with this new addition, as her time is filled with new love. I know shes busy and if she wanted to talk to me, she would make the effort. There’s only so many ways I can ask for more affection, and with them having this new relationship I even feel guilty asking for more time. Besides hobbies, what are some self soothing techniques I can do to feel more secure and happy? Is it even worth it if I’ve told her time and time again my needs aren’t necessarily being met and I feel little has changed? Am I selfish for requiring this much attention? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. sincerely, a struggling tranny

I’ve been with this girl for a while now, about a 2 years. Things have been going really well up until now. We went on a couple trips, spent time with her family, really bonded with her father over our shared love of Star Trek, helped cook Thanksgiving TWICE with her Mother, and helped move her Grandma in when she moved from her apartment to the guest room of her parents place. Though I have a family of my own, I considered them my parents as well. Genuinely a kind and loving family.
See, over the past couple of weeks or so, I’ve noticed a lot of changed in my girlfriend. She’s been on her phone way more, she’s been spending more time at work, she’s been getting more expensive clothing, she’s been less intimate with me (not just sex, but cuddling). I really felt a distance between us.
So I took her out to dinner and I spoke to her about it. She looked a little shocked I brought it up, and reassured me nothing was happening, she’s just got some baggage she’s working through and she pulls away because she doesn’t want to drag me down with her. I tell her it’s my job to help her, and she agrees.
The rest of the night went well, but the vibe was off. Even when we cuddled at night, it felt cold. Like it was out of obligation.
A couple days pass and it got better, sure, but not by much.
It wasn’t until she went on an unscheduled work trip that reality kind of hit me.
She’s probably cheating.
I scour the internet, emails, everything, nothing. I spend like 5 hours trying to find evidence, and I come up short. My phone long dead, I give up and try to charge it.
It’s like 5 or something at this point, and I grab my phone and realize it hasn’t been charging. It’s DEAD dead. Because they close at 7, I run to the AT&T store, trade in my old phone with the new one, can’t keep the same number because of some nonsense with the contract, and I’m home.
I download all my apps, log into everything, but IG is giving me problem. See, I used my old phone number to log in, and since the old one is dead, I changed it to the new one and then all hell broke loose.
For some reason, I was able to see everything. I have to assume that not only did she block me on IG, but so did all her associates, and there were A LOT of associates. Last I checked, IG doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t matter what phone number is linked to the account, if it’s blocked, it’s blocked. Despite that, I saw everything.
When I linked my new number to the account, suddenly I see a familiar face in my suggested. I saw my girlfriend, with jizz on her face.
I scroll through the page and shes been doing this for about a year. I’m disgusted. She’s been with so many people I lost fucking count. I remember one day she told me she couldn’t kiss me because she ate something that made her breath bad and I didn’t care, THE SAME FUCKING DAY SHE DID A FELLATION POV. “Just finished a scene…”
I made out with her, hours after she got blasted in the throat by another fucking dude.
I stopped scrolling.
I was and still am livid. I loved this woman. She was my life. She brought me a level of happiness and satisfaction I didn’t think was possible, much less deserved. When I had a hard day at work, she was there to give me a hug and just listen to me. The joy on her face when I cooked her favorite dish could bring a tear to my eye. Seeing the way she lovingly treated my parents fucking killed me man. She was perfect. But no. She’s a just fucking whoring herself out on the internet for the world to see.
I had to taste countless fucking dudes man. I still feel sick to my stomach and that was 2 days ago.
I know it’s not possible to continue the relationship going. I don’t know how to live on from this. It’s felt like these two years were an entire lifetime. How do I end the relationship and move on from this? Move of from her family? I’m lost.
I need some help.
TLDR: My girlfriend is a professional cheater and I just found out.

Me (39F) and my ex husband (39M) divorced a few years ago. We have three kids together.
I will admit that the divorce was due to my infidelity. I was in an almost 2 year relationship with someone i thought i was in love with. My ex husband found out and confronted me, i was tired of living a lie, and i confessed which i think he should have given me some credit for. I did not try to lie, and also told him it was not the first time i had had an affair because i wanted to be honest with him. I ended up leaving the house for two weeks and went to visit my cousin in another state. After a couple of weeks, he asked if i wanted to try couples counseling. He didnt want the family split up and deal with disrupting their lives, the kids were all teenagers and would be adults soon, could we wait until they were 18. I told him no, i had made my choice. To be fair, we had been living seperate lives for about 5 years prior to the divorce (seperate bedrooms, didnt eat dinner together, totally seperate lives). So it wasnt like we both didnt see this coming but he was still pretty upset.
He was very amicable during the divorce, but I do have regrets. The man i was seeing didnt end up leaving his wife, and in my affair fog (and guilt) i gave my ex husband everything. The house, car, didnt ask for alimony, didnt request child support, just that he pay the expenses for our kids extra curriculars. I do regret not asking for child support because i am now trying to support myself and kids with only my income.
Anyway, during most of my divorce my ex was fine. We had a shared birthday party, i was allowed to come to the house whenever i wanted. It was great.
My ex husband met someone a couple of weeks before our divorce was finalized, so we were still married. She didnt reach out to try and meet me so i found her at a basketball game and introduced myself. She smiled and said hi and told me her name and then returned to her conversation. Completely ignoring me which I felt was disrespectful. I let it go.
Immediately after our divorce was finalized my ex shut down. He stopped running to grab things for me when i needed them (prior to this hed run and grab me stuff for work if i couldnt leave). He stopped responding to my friendly texts, wouldnt help me move when i was moving to a new apartment from my old one, I showed up to the house at one point and he text me after that he doesnt want me in his house anymore (it was my house for almost 15 years and my kids live there half the month). I truly felt like this was his new girlfriend, because everything was fine up until she showed up in the picture.
A few months later I find out she has kids. I was extremely upset because i was not told any of this about her. I knew nothing about her at all from him. On top of that, i found out she is not the primary parent. Her kids live with their dad 80% of the year apparently. I admit i did react harshly (as any parent would do when they find out this info) and texted my ex that i was very upset as he never told me she had kids and i did tell him that due to her custody arrangement i was concerned she was a child abuser and i told him i would like sole custody of our children and would be contacting an attorney. I did this, but a background check on her came up clean so i did not proceed (im still not convinced on this because just because she didnt get caught doesnt mean it didnt happen) but after that things got sour. I tried explaining that I was only concerned about my kids but he didn’t care.
A year goes by and one of my friends said she had seen her and she looks pregnant. Turns out this genius accidentally knocked her up. I texted him and asked if they were expecting and he said yes. I did fly off the handle because I was not told this by him. I had to find out through the grapevine. I was humiliated because i had no idea. They had a huge gender reveal with all of my kids and her kids and were actually celebrating this. So my kids are being taught that getting someone pregnant after a year is acceptable. I understand accidents happen but it should be presented that way and not with a party with my kids present.
At this point im concerned for my kids safety, but i figured it was the first relationship post divorce and he would probably leave her soon enough anyway. But now shes went and got pregnant so shes going to be around my kids permanently. I told him again i wanted her away from my kids because she could be dangerous and i know nothing about her and she has not even attempted to get to know me to make me feel more comfortable. i told him those concerns that she doesnt want to get to know me and obviously has cast judgement on me for my past. That is the only reason i could think that she wouldnt try to get to know me or respect me enough to talk to me in public. I also told him my concerns that everything was fine in our coparenting relationship until he met her.
My ex told me “she hasnt judged you. She is offended because you have repeatedly called her a child abuser and have told people that she is dangerous to be around children. Some of the kids friends wont even come over to our house anymore and youve humiliated her. The custody arrangement she has is because her ex moved away while she was in PA school and she knew she couldn’t give them the life they would have with their dad during that time. A child abuser would not be getting their kids every summer and every holiday. You also get upset and tell me she doesn’t care about our kids because she wont drive them to school. Shes too scared to be alone around them because of your accusations, and shes also tried to not make the situation worse by stepping on your toes”.
I am frustrated because he doesnt seem to understand where i am coming from. ANY mother would be concerned about this given her custody arrangement and i am being treated like im a monster by him. I have a right as a mother to know who is around my kids.
Im frustrated because i see pictures of them taking just her kids to the childrens zoo. I confronted him on this and he said he didnt think our teenagers would want to go to a petting zoo, so he took them during my custody time, but next time would invite all the kids.
Its been a few years now, theyre still together, and i feel like she has started majorly overstepping. She sent me a message with concerns about my daughters mental health and told me that i should try talking to her when she goes back home because she was “concerned”. This is the only time shes ever initiated contact with me and its about my kids (i dont need his girlfriend contacting me about my kids, he needs to). At the time i didnt see any issue with my daughters mental health so i ignored it. A few months later, i get the same thing. That shes “genuinely concerned” about her mental health as my daughter seems to be depressed, shes torn the house apart, and some of the little things she says are indicating she might be depressed and it is “presenting as anger”. At the time i thought my daughter just had severe anger problems and i didn’t need some random girl messaging me about MY children. I flipped out and threatened to sue her if she contacted me again because at this point two texts about the same thing was excessive and I felt harassed. My daughter ultimately did get diagnosed with major depressive disorder and is on medication now and is doing well, after her guidance counselor reached out to me (which is who it should have come from to begin with, or her dad, but not the girl my ex husband is playing house with).
Theyre now engaged, and i still feel like he cares way more about the child they had together (and her kids) than the children we share together. Ive talked to my kids about moving in with me full time and told them they do not deserve the way their dad is treating them and acting as if he replaced them. They said no, they like the arrangement theyve had over the years and he coaches their sports teams so that would be weird anyway. I agreed with that and let it go.
I just want to know if anyone else has ever been in my shoes or advice on how to move foreward. I want my coparenting relationship back, but no matter how friendly i am to my ex he sends me one word answers. Never responds to my “how are you” texts. Only responds to me if its about the kids (and sometimes will respond to them about the texts i send. If one of the kids needs money he sends it directly to them and doesnt even acknowledge my text message). I do feel like he is being coached by his fiance and that she has turned him against me, and with her in the picture for the foreseeable future i am worried it will never change. Its clear she does not like me and i think shes making him hate me too and i dont know how to move foreward. All of my divorced friends seem to have great coparenting relationships and this whole thing is so embarassing that i just tell them my ex and i are still best friends but with the way im treated in public at the kids games it feels like they probably know that isnt true. They arent rude to me but just act as if i do not exist. At one point my ex pinned all of this on me, stating that my affair broke any friendship that we could have potentially had after the divorce and that there was no chance of his girlfriend ever forgiving me after the “slander” I committed (i didnt, i just expressed my concerns to him and a few of the parents on my kids teams).
I just want to know how to mend things with my ex. If i had known things would get this bad i would have just stuck it out for another few years.
To make things worse, they sold the house that i let my ex keep in the divorce and it had appreciated a lot. He didnt give me a single dime but they did buy a nice new house and she just got a brand new car. My friends all feel bad for me because they dont feel like i deserve this, im living in my friends rental home and sharing a car with my 17 year old because mine broke down. Not a dime of child support. But him and his fiance dont seem to care at all. And im starting to feel like she encouraged him to keep playing nice until the divorce was signed and he got every asset we shared together.