A good song to sing to your boyfriend 2011

For context I (20) F have been with my long distance boyfriend (23) M for two years this September. We both know long distance is hard but we typically overcome our issues. We unfortunately got a lot of hate regarding our long distance relationship, because it wasn't "real." We assumed people would start coming around to it when we moved in or met up for the first time. However lately it's starting to seem like he doesn't want to come visit me.
The first time we talked about him coming to visit was a few months into us initially dating. He told me his grandfather had a vacation house near the college I was staying at and that he had agreed for us to use it. All was looking really good and he told me he could visit in late January because of work. As the date grew closer it would be something that we'd talk about less and less. I finally got the courage to ask about the plans and he said he had to cancel because his sister went to jail. He bailed her out and I understood.
I asked again that summer when he planned on visiting me and he said he would make it work somehow. I remained open minded but was extremely excited for his visit. He then called me one day after work saying that his mom got pulled over for speeding and she needed money to cover the ticket. I asked him if he could still make the trip possible and he said no. I was upset but again I remained understanding.
After that I stopped bring up trips of any sort and kinda gave up. He would say "I'm going to come and visit you soon I promise," but never went through with it once. In April I had to unexpectedly move out of college and into an apartment. I was complaining about moving heavy stuff and he said "I'll up to help you move, then I can finally meet your family." I thought it was a great idea but again, it never happened.
Jump to Yesterday. We were talking on the phone like normal when out of the blue he tells me that he won't be available on Memorial Day. When I asked him what his plans were, he told me he was going on a trip to Pennsylvania. I was devastated to say the least. When he asked me what was wrong I unloaded everything on him. He said that it was just a day trip and he was only going to be staying there for maybe a day. I told him that wasn't the point, and said that if I had the money to travel to him I would have already. He assured me that he was doing this trip for work and that he didn't even want to do it, but he wasn't sure if he was getting paid.
He works a construction job (kinda). I think he's going to fix up a house for a friend, but he says he gets paid well and I never see any of this money. Some times I even pay for home to have food. Am I overthinking this and stressing him out for nothing or am I right to be calling him out for this type of behavior?
Reddit AITAH?

I just want to say,
I am truly blessed to have been able to know you and spend time with you. Even though at the time I thought we had forever, I know that not all things are meant to last in this life.
From the first time I met you I remember truly being infatuated in a way no one else had made me feel before. And when it didn’t work, I thought maybe we were destined to be star crossed lovers in some tragic romantic way. But when you came back into my life 10 years later, I thought I would be ready to get it right this time. Maybe we were just waiting for the stars to align.
Unfortunately, I guess we weren’t ever meant to be. Maybe if I started working harder and finding a purpose earlier in life. Or maybe if you didn’t have a child to raise now, who knows? But in this life, it wasn’t part of the plan.
You said that being around me made you feel like you had to dull yourself. I’m sorry that instead of making you shine, my personality somehow made you dim your light. I guess you needed someone more exciting, someone more outgoing. You needed a golden retriever, when I’ve always been a black cat. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you had to dilute yourself and suppress your personality when with me.
Some of my favorite memories are the simple ones. Like every time you tried to interact with the stray cat who decided to choose my front yard as his new home. 90% of the time he’d give you no reciprocation, and you’d do that eye roll you always do when you’re annoyed. That was my favorite expression of yours. It’s the same one you’d do when I told a stupid joke, or said something dumb, or I was purposely being a dick.
I’d see your eyes light up when I made you a card or gave you a gift, to show you how special I thought you were. You told me your love language was gifts and acts of service, maybe I should have done more of that.
Unfortunately I had a late start in life, and I’m still trying to figure it out. I’m not able to get you all the things you want or take you on trips. The consequences of a failure to launch. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I dont talk about my struggles, my financials, or anything I'm going through. We all know men dont like to show weakness. But I was doing all I could, tried to plan accordingly, I just didnt have the financials to give you anything more.
I wish that i knew when it was you decided I wasn’t the one for you, maybe I would have tried harder or cherished our time together more. I threw out all the photos and letters, deleted all the pics. How were you unhappy when in all the letters and messages you were singing my praises? You looked happy to me. Yet you were apparently looking for an exit the whole time, thats hard to grasp.
There will probably always be a part of me that still loves you, and one of my biggest regrets in life will be that I somehow fumbled you and was not able to keep you in my life. I’ve accepted the fact that just because I love someone, doesn’t mean they are obligated to love me back. And just because from my perspective I was doing everything right and everything I could, I know that you didn’t have to see it that way. I know that you dont have to wait for me to figure my life out. And you arent obligated to teach me how to love better. I just thought thats something you WOULD do.
I hope one day I can look back at this and see the good times without feeling like there’s a knife in my chest. I pray that you find whatever it is you’re looking for. Maybe one day you’ll look back and see I tried my best too, and appreciate all the ways I tried to show you I cared in my own way. A product of my environment I suppose, I didnt grow up with a lot of love being shown. No birthdays, no hugs, no kisses, no feelings. I didnt understand how to do that.
I heard you might be seeing someone else already. Its only been a month. I was supposedly your best friend, you supposedly loved me, I guess that was all talk. You tossed me aside without even a conversation. Thats pretty shitty to me, but I dont want to think about it anymore. You said you'd be happier without me, so it is what it is.
I know we’ll never see each other or speak to each other again, but hopefully putting these thoughts into the universe will somehow get to you on a spiritual level, and that’s good enough for me.
I’ll see you in another life, when we’re both cats.

Didn't know how to properly title this, but I am starting to feel a little crazy about how I feel about my new relationship and I wanted to know if anything similar has happened to anyone here. So, setting the scene: I'm a 20 year old male, never had a relationship before, he's a 25 year old male who's been in 3 relationships. We met last November after chatting on Instagram for a while and we got along right off the bat. Things quickly escalated and from then on we started seeing and talking to each other every day. After the first month, he said he needed to have a conversation with me. He called me and said he wanted to know what my expectations were, because he liked how things were going but he wasn't sure if we would end up dating each other because he had some issues with our relationship that I had no control of: he was afraid the age gap could be seen as weird, I have just recently come out of the closet and he was afraid my parents would hate him, and he's graduating this year and doesn't know if he's gonna be able to find a job and stay in the city we live in or if he's gonna have to move back to his parents' house which is far from here. I was glad he talked to me about this early on because he was concerned about messing with my feelings. But we ended up staying together for longer because we were both really enjoying hanging out with each other and decided not to end it all due to anxiety about what could happen. But we kept seeing each other every day and he would spend days at my place for months, until this March. We were still getting along super well and we always communicated a LOT, but we got to a point where we realized we were in too deep to not think about the elephant in the room: are we ever gonna take it to the next level and calling it a relationship? During March, we had multiple conversations about what we were going to do, we broke up and got back together a couple of times because we missed each other and all that, until I decided that I was done and said that if he weren't willing to take this risk and be my boyfriend we should just let this go and not keep building something that was so uncertain. He chose to let it go. But then, after a month of not talking, he texted me saying he missed me and asked if I was still willing to try having a serious relationship with him. I took some time to think, but I remembered how easy it was being with him and how good I felt back then so I decided to give it a try. 3 weeks ago we started dating for real, being each other's boyfriends. But... I feel like something's off. Being with him felt so natural before, I felt like I loved him and I felt loved but now I'm not sure? Ever since we reconnected it all feels super awkward, we don't talk as much as we used to, time together doesn't feel as cool and I don't feel as loved as I did before. I've never been in a relationship, but from what I've observed in people around me, the beginning of a relationship seems to be a period of time where you're super happy and you spend a lot of time with your partner but that's not how I'm feeling right now. He's having moods and wanting to be alone way more often that he used to, he hasn't really prioritized me over anything lately and I used to feel like he was way more interested in me back then. I DID talk about this with him twice and he said I'm overthinking it and that he's okay with how things are going, and that he understands me being a little uneasy about this because he did let me go before coming back so I'm not feeling totally safe yet, but I don't think if a relationship that has just begun should be defined as just "okay" and that he should be more willing to spend more time with me. I feel like he doesn't feel the same about me and I don't feel the same about him either. My question is, can spending a month apart actually change things this much, or am I overthinking it and I should give more time for things to settle down?
TL;DR: Went out with a dude for 4 months, we broke up for a month and then came back together and decided to finally call it a relationship, but things don't feel the same. Am I overthinking or can a month apart actually change the way we feel for each other?

I'm looking for different perspectives about transitioning and it's consequences. I'm going to therapy right now, trying to take things slow. Your honesty will be much appreciated.
I'm 20 F, in college. I've always had a hard time figuring my self identity. I tend to try to escape everything that involves my body and anything social. It sucks and I'm trying to change that.
I'm not unnattractive for a female or anything like that. I just feel disconnected with the idea of being a woman (a woman is someone with XX chromosomes, but it's undeniable that there are also social expectations etc. about being a woman). I know it's ok to be a masculine woman, but still. I think I would be so much happier living as a man, if that's possible, why not?
I dindn't relate much to girls as a kid and those feelings became more intense as I reached my teens. I realised I liked women and desired to look male but didn't take those feelings seriously (I tend to keep things to myself). I was depressed and suffered from an ED. I desperatly wanted to look male.
At 16 I met my now boyfriend. I was deeply interested in the male body and also thought that maybe being with a man would change my mind or smth. We ended up developing a very close relationship. He's my only friend and the only person who knows about my "issues". He doesn't encourage me to transition or anything like that, quite the opposite.
I started being more like myself since I met him. I recovered from the ED, started to dress like a man and finally had someone to share my interests with.
Sex is something complicated to me (and I'm far from an asexual). I'm very attracted to girls and I convinced myself that was the problem. But the problem is mostly my body. It looks nice but it feels foreign, turns me off if I think about it. We fantasise about me being a man, that helps sometimes.
It's frustrating. I avoid talking about it, but certain times I know he gets frustrated about not having a relationship like his friends have, not only because of the way I want to look, but also my behaviour. I know he loves me the way I am, but also feels scared that I'll leave him for a woman or start looking too much like a man and that making him look gay.
I also know he would like to have a family someday. The idea of pregnancy is terrifying. I don't know if I would be in a good enough mental state to raise a child as a mother. He knows about this.
I never suffered from any sort of sexual trauma and I don't have sexist ideas about women.
I know that if I transition I'll never be a real man, I'll just be perceived as one. And that would be cool, downsides included.

Our relationship is very fresh. We've been together for about one month, dating for five months before. So I knew there were skeletons to be dug up. I knew that. But this, specifically, did something to me.
We were in bed talking about god and the world. The week before, we had revealed to each other how many people we've been with as it came up in conversation. She thought it was a big number. I was teasing her about something so as a get back she jokingly said "At least I haven't been with twenty(!!!!) people. Twenty! AND you're younger!". I got back at her while laughing: "You are worse! You were in relationships for eleven years (eight years + three years) so you did the other nine in less than two years! Your average per year of sex eligibility is higher than mine!" All of this was said in good faith and while laughing, hugging and kissing. Then, still jokingly and without bad intent she said what kickstarted this all. "Hey! Actually it's eight because it doesn't count as two people if it was two at one time." What? My mind started to race immediately. Did I hear that right? I hate to be using that word in connection with her, but I felt disgust.
I kept up my normal demeanor towards her, which I realize is unjust towards her. But I had to process what I heard before speaking to her about it. She asked me why I was staring at the wall while she was trying to sleep, I told her some lie that I don't remember.
There were ugly scenes replaying in my head. The thought machine was at full capacity. As hard as I tried, there also was no way of getting out of my head. Why would she say that? Why would she ever bring that up? I know her as a very cautious person when it comes to what comes out of her mouth. Did she say that on purpose? To provoke some sort of reaction? On and on.
Two people associated with my closest friends go on vacation, seemingly only to have physical relations with one woman and bragging about it to anyone that will lend an ear, so this is a topic that has been discussed within my friend group fairly frequently. "Imagine if that was your sistedaughter", "How lost are they, but also the women that let them do this", "I could never date a woman someone who has done something like that, there is no way that our values would align" are phrases that rang throughout every one of our mouths at least once. Including mine. Problem is that I meant it.
The next day, I told her that what she said bothered me a lot. I told her that in my social circle, women who did these sort of things were looked at negatively. Which means I do so as well. Her demeanor changed immediately. From joyful to pensive. She apologized for even bringing it up. That she regretted it from the moment it left her lips. That she knows it is a "slutty" thing to do. She explained that she did it with her ex-boyfriend of eight years in an attempt to bring back excitement and ultimately save the relationship. It was his wish. A wish that she was reluctant to fulfill, yet did so in desperation. She left that day. That was two days ago, we've been speaking normally since then. In her eyes everything is well. While walking to the train station she asked if that changes my perception of her. I told her that it didn't. For the first time, I lied to her. My perception did change. I just don't know to what extent yet.
I would not have considered a serious commitment if I knew this beforehand. I still would not if she did not exist and it was another person. I realize people have a past. I realize she was a person before I arrived in her life. I realize that the circumstances in her case were a bit different. My body and soul long for her when I am not with her. She puts them at ease. Makes my heart smile. Conversations with her go on for hours and hours, though it feels as if only minutes had passed. Our visions for the future align to a tee. There's no one I would rather spend my time with. I know this is not something I should be this hung up on. But I am. What do I do? Should I just get over myself, stash this somewhere deep in my head and try to forget it ever happened?

Introduction

1)Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs? * I have had family dogs all my life, but this would be my first one living on my own. I have reasonable experience with training and owning dogs. I also have a pretty good grasp on puppies as my mother has bred dogs (ugh, i know) 2)Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a [reputable breeder]( http://ownresponsibly.blogspot.com/2011/07/identifying-reputable-breeder.html)? * Likely going to adopt from someone who needs to rehome their dog. Alternatively a breeder. There arent really rescues in my country. I would like avoid adopting a puppy, and instead would prefer a 1-2 year old. 3)Describe your ideal dog. * A small/medium dog that is social and cuddly but not overly clingy (basically they just need to listen to the command "go away" soemtimes haha). Not extremely high energy, but still eager to play and maybe come with during runs. A mild temperament and easily trainable would be ideal. Good health condition is very important (a mutt is fine). No vocal breeds as I would live in an apartment. 4)What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why? * No particular breed in mind (that is kind of what i need help with lol). I do love setters since one of my family dogs is a Irish settegolden retriever mix and she is pretty much my ideal dog (although she does not do recall well, which is a concern). 5)What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do? * Basic commands like sit, lie down, go away, etc. Recall would be a huge plus. Would need to be trainable to ignore/be calm around other dogs and stimuli on walks, and be able to walk nicely on a leash. 6) Do you want to compete with your dog in a sport (e.g. agility, obedience, rally) or use your dog for a form of work (e.g. hunting, herding, livestock guarding)? If so, how much experience do you have with this work/sport? * No. **Care Commitments** 7) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day? * I'm away from home a maximum of about 6 hours a day, mostly way less. I'm a student and I spend a lot of time at home studying and doing other things, which means I do have time to be around the dog. 8) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park? * I plan on doing shorter (~15 min) walks in the morning and at lunch time, and a longer walk in the evening. I would be able to visit a dog park/open area for running (when the dog has learnt recall) about twice a week. I do also run occasionally, and in the fall/spring im happy to take the dog with me. 9)How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly? * Im happy to keep up with brushing weekly or so. Im comfortable bathing and trimming nails on my own. Im only interested in dogs with a "normal" coat that does not require frequent grooming visits. Im not willing to pay for the normal grooming fees like brushing, bathing, or trimming. **Personal Preferences** 10)What size dog are you looking for? * medium 15-40 lbs. A small is also acceptable depending on the breed, but i do prefer medium as they seem like the most athletic size and are able to go along on hikes and stuff. 11) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle? * Preferably no barking as id live in an apartment. Shedding is fine as long as its not excessive as i am slightly allergic. No slobber. 12) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area? * Relatively important. I do want to be able to let it run free for playtime, and hiking in the woods off leash would be great. So a dog with good impulse control that doesnt just run off the second it gets off leash would be great. **Dog Personality and Behavior** 13) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space? * Somewhere in the middle. I do really enjoy cuddling with a dog and having them sleep in my bed, but i also dont want it to be too in your face. Basically just a dog that says hi then settles down with me instead of constantly seeking attention. 14) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that’s more eager-to-please? * eager to please 15) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors? * friendly to visitors 16) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs? * preferably no aggressive dogs. I would like to be able to safely let the dog be off leash without any fights. I'd rather not take the risk of my dog hurting another dog/person. 17) Are there any other behaviors you can’t deal with or want to avoid? * Poor recall. Also howling/barking when im not home. I would like to trust my dog to be relatively quiet when im not there. Destructive behaviour like chewing up furniture even as an adult would also be a big no. **Lifestyle** 18) How often and how long will the dog be left alone? * up to 6 hours a day. In the future that could be bumped up to 8-9, but I will always be close to home, so a quick walk during lunch would be possible. 19) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog? * I live alone 20) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal are they? * Possibly going to get a cat in the future 21) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly? * no 22) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease? * I will rent a student apartment. There are no limitations on pets and there is no extra fee or cost to having one. 23) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds? * Sweden, no current breed restrictions but there is talk of banning certain bully breeds unfortunately. 24) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live? * Summer would be ~20 C (70 F), whilst winter averages around -20C (-4F). The hottest it gets is 30C (85), and the coldest is -30C (-22F). **Additional Information and Questions** 25) Please provide any additional information you feel may be relevant. 26) Feel free to ask any questions below. 

Hi everyone!
I (31m) am still trying to figure it all out, I guess just like the rest of us, right? I went to a small east coast liberal arts college to be a writer. When I graduated in 2014, I had been through a variety of coursework and had felt that while I did want to write, I was focused more on "doing", then writing about it someday. I mostly focused on International Affairs and Anthropology spent some time abroad. I had difficulty getting a job after college and leaned into bouncing/security, then barbacking, then bartending, as a means to just get an income while I figured it out. I had a dream of working in intelligence. A decade passed and I had managed to build a successful reputation for myself both in bar management and brand work. During that decade, a lot of life happened. I had a deranged and tumultuous 7 year relationship with an abusive alcoholic bartender. I was offered a dream job after an arduous and competitive hiring process, only to have it rescinded for non-disclosed reasons days before my 30th birthday. Devastated by the job rejection after years of effort and work, I was feeling quite down. At this point I was bartending full time and just feeling completely lost. My long relationship ended in absolute pandemonium due to a total loss of my vehicle while she drove it inebriated. I evacuated myself from the relationship, as my safety was in question and I could no longer let myself be okay with what I was living. It was ugly and I lost most of my things and my pets.
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I felt gutted and defeated. I hung my head in shame and retreated to the cavernous depths of the rickety dive bar I had been working at, not doing much other than working and sleeping. Most of my time was spent feeling sorry for myself in solitude or just wanting it all to end. I felt trapped, scared, and hopeless. I met another woman with whom I now have an amazing relationship. It felt as though she brought color back to my life and gave me the excitement and joy I deserved to feel; the stuff I needed to keep healing and push forward. I've been still learning how to love myself again and forgive myself for what I allowed to happen to me. The bar industry had been absolutely crushing; being surrounded by defeated lost souls, on both sides of the bar. It got to a point where I was just completely emotionally and physically drained during my time off that I had no ability to do anything other than rot. And the money hasn't been what it had been and I have been having a hard time staying afloat on my own.
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A few months ago, at the strong encouragement of my girlfriend and family, and spending far too much time feeling like "John at the Bar" from the song "Piano Man," I left the bar industry for good. My father (also a former bartender), with whom I was more or less estranged from for several years due to longstanding family issues, offered to pay my rent if I left the bar ASAP and helped my brother launch his home remodeling business. I took the leap. I can't say they caught me; times are tough right now. The business is in it's startup phase and I am not in a position where I can take much income beyond minimum wage right now. Its quite brutal and I am questioning what the fuck I am even doing every day, but I push on. I am supplementing ends meet with some freelance work here and there doing some writing and working the bar at concert venues. I don't love my day to day, but I don't hate it as much as the bar. As much as certain things suck, my life is infinitely better. I feel confident that I will look back on these past few years and laugh.
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So, here I am, still trying to figure it all out. I feel as though all of my interests are laid out in front of me: I love music. I am a bassist, an avid record collector, I spin Boogie/Funk/80's vinyl here and there at bars and parties for fun, and I constantly love exploring everything related to the world of music. I am constantly monitoring foreign conflicts and researching militant insurgencies; I love to keep up to date on everything open source within the intelligence world. In terms of jobs in this field, it may be sour grapes, but I am not sure if I could sleep at night if I worked in intel for my government. I love to make art; some of my other brothers and I collaborate on cartoons, screenplays, and sketches. I love designing a character and making an elaborate Halloween costume every year. I love to create wild, exciting, and vibrant worlds, taking mine and others imaginations into the real world. I love to explore the world, connect with other cultures, and SEE and EXPERIENCE all I can during my short time here. It feels almost as if there's a "perfect career for me" combining all of these interests just sitting on the tip of my tongue. Then there's part of me screaming "Just write on what you've done. Then go do more shit and write! Fuck publications, newspapers, and media corps. Just do your own thing and you'll figure it out!"
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I write all of this, not necessarily asking for help finding a path (although, PLEASE any input is welcome), but just to share my experience to those who may be in the pits of confusion and hopelessness where I was very recently. Hopefully this can provide at least some solidarity and maybe a little bright flash of hope. I hope that those who are in similar places in their lives as me can read this and feel validated and more comfortable. Those of you who have made it out alive and thriving, hopefully this reminds you of your journey to where you are. And to all of those who failed, well...maybe this can help you feel willing to try it again. We only get this one shot at this, so why not give it our all?
I have no answers or solutions, just my own accounts of my raw experiences and the perspectives they have given me. I guess that's kind of the point of all of this though, right? We are all here to perceive and be perceived. We live in, witness, and are the spectacle! What an absurd, ghastly, and wonderful life we all live! Go live it and experience...you may be on the path you are searching for without even realizing it...
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Good hunting and rock on everyone. I love you all.
u/durt_squirrel

I’m on the bus and this family with three kids get on the bus and sits in front of me. I got up and moved because the oldest sounded like they had Covid with a very guttural, wet cough.
Turned out to be a very good idea for me to move because the first thing they did upon sitting down was changing the babies shitty diaper.
Even after they finished the smell of shit permeated bus for the next 30 stops until they got off. I’m honestly surprised that they had the decency to take the dirty diaper with them when they left. I really thought they would leave it. Based on their previous level of consideration.
Do me a favor next time you take your three impoverished, unwashed, diseased kids on the bus (because you apparently can’t afford a car or birth control). Check and make sure they didn’t shit themselves before you get on.
Singed the rest of the surplus population.
Also I can’t tell if B was fat or pregnant with another one. But just keep fucking to bring a lower quality of life for us all. And keep those wages nice and low.
Now I can’t go anywhere today because I am in the middle of trying to stop smoking and my patience for all the idiots is dangerously low. Dangerously low! I almost went full Karen right there. This is not a drill!
We can’t eat on the bus. We also can’t shit on the bus. Thank you!

hey!
here’s what I look like
I’m in the midwest, in the middle of my phd, using the sacred few hours of sleep I got to scroll reddit while binging on the trashiest reality TV and early 00s MTV music videos
tbh, since moving here I’ve been aching to meet people that aren’t related to my professional or academic sphere, and rarely got the time to do much outside the lab, so, here I am, it seems meeting people online could be good bet :o
some random trivia

• my work is on machine learning and proteins
• love running and cycling, pretty much any heavy cardio activity
• love playing soccer but suck at it
• love signing but suck at it
• love drawing but suck at it
• I only sing in spanish, because I got a thiccc accent and feel a bit self-conscious singing in english
• expert in early 00s shitty pop music
• best disney movie is ratatouille
• most overrated disney movie is up
• love dancing cumbia and bachata… and actually do not suck at it! lmao
• can move my ears on command
• have lived in 4 countries, 6 cities, 2 continents
• I’m trying to get into video games. help? I have a swtich, xbox, and pc
• not a fan of scifi or fantasy :(
• once got jump-scared by a possum while riding my bike
• knows two and a half languages
• love crafts (specially origami) and playing the accordion

here are two truths and a lie

• I was personally invited to a fancy rooftop party by a google hotshot, but bailed on it
• a mexican bill saved my life while I was stranded in serbia
• I was suspended from middle school for burning a whiteboard with body spray and a lighter

If you're interested in talking, send me a line about yourself!

I began preparing for the NEET (medical entrance exam in India) from class 11 at a large coaching institute, which charged my parents a substantial fee, a sum that was not easily affordable for them. Initially, my course was conducted offline, but it transitioned to online due to COVID. Being in the comfort of my home, I neglected my studies and instead watched movies and series under the guise of attending classes. I resorted to cheating in my exams and advanced to class 12. As the pandemic subsided and classes reverted to offline, I, fearing my lack of knowledge, deceived my parents into believing that my classes were still online. Consequently, I squandered another year in idleness. As class 12 came to an end, my Board exams (Finals) approached, yet I had procrastinated and not studied. Entering the exam center unprepared, I managed to write down what I knew for each subject until Physics, my greatest fear, confronted me. With no knowledge to fill the paper, I was certain of failing for the first time. However, in the last 30 minutes, a teacher provided answers, enabling me to pass all exams. I achieved 60% without studying for two years. My parents were disappointed with the results, believing I had studied diligently, but I alone knew the truth.
After my 12th grade, I attempted the NEET for the first time and scored very low marks, which I lied about to my parents. They were upset but allowed me another opportunity to study at a prestigious institute. Initially, I studied diligently and achieved above-average marks on my first test. However, a pivotal moment soon disrupted my life. I fell for a girl in my class at first sight. To get closer to her, I befriended a guy who I had seen speaking with her. Over time, we grew as close as brothers, and he persuaded me to skip classes. Initially hesitant due to fear of my parents' reaction, his influence eventually led me to acquiesce. We ended up skipping classes for half the year and completely neglected our studies.
Once again, I abandoned my studies because of a girl I liked and a friend, which I still regret. Regarding the girl, she had a boyfriend and was aware of my feelings for her, yet she behaved as if we were in a relationship in class. Everyone assumed she was my girlfriend, but that wasn't the case. Jealous of her boyfriend, I attempted to sever ties, but she persisted in messaging me and began to manipulate me with her texts. She deceived me. As our course neared its end, she blocked me, and when I tried to contact her through other apps, she ignored my messages. Currently, I am heartbroken, wondering how someone could be so cruel. It's been 15 days, and she's out with her boyfriend, despite promises of spending time with me.
On May 5th, 2024, I sat for my second NEET attempt, unprepared. Initially, I answered correctly, but towards the end, I randomly selected answers. I'm dreading the results, expected in 15-20 days, and I'm uncertain how my parents will react. I am so scared.
This year, I am venturing into a field quite different from my current one. I am preparing for the Chartered Accountant exams and will need to begin from the basics, as I have never studied the subjects before. I would also appreciate your advice on this matter.
My tendency to procrastinate, neglect my studies, and cheat has led me to feel like a failure. I'm reaching out through this post for help to get my life back on track, to be the good son to my parents that I once was, and to achieve something that will make them proud. My mental health has suffered because of a girl. I'm constantly thinking about her, and I can't bring myself to delete our chats, fearing it would mean losing her completely, though I feel I already have. I need guidance to overcome this.
This is my first time sharing something like this; apologies for any issues with how it's presented.

I haven't even count how long has it been since I confronted him for acting cold and ignoring me trough chat, and he told me he didn't know why he was feeling "weird" about me, that we should see other people, that we were too young and a lot of bs, when he told me everyday he loved me and wanted to grow with me. We were together for almost 4 months, I loved him deeply with words and actions, he was my first boyfriend and I'm just a silly autistic girl that believed in him, in his honesty and maturity (actually there was none of it). Thought I chose the best person for me, I wasn't even in love with him when he declared his feeling for me, we were just good friends (for almost a year); I gave him a chance, fell for him just to become another victory I suppose. I Can't even look back to the see the good things, knowing he was always lying to me, knowing he didn't loved me or wanted anything serious with me, but assuring he loved me and all that shit. He wasn't happy or had fun, he just didn't wanted to be alone and I was the easiest one to get (I'm naive and tend to think the best about everyone). I just want to let this go, I wish I didn't have to see him at college or public transportation. If it wasn't for my worries about him not being well after the breakup we wouldn't even say goodbye, he just dropped me trough chat because Mr "I'm mature enough and I know what I want in life" wasn't really sure about anything in his life, but didn't mind using an autistic woman who cared for him and loved him truly, unconditionally as long as she existed. He didn't even want to be my friend at the end, I got mad at him for pretending he cared about our friendship, he was just trying to have me at his feet begging for his attention, he didn't even respect me, he told me he liked to talk with me because he "can't talk like that with anyone else" but saying shit like "it worries me that we are no longer gonna be friends when i get another partner" like, so I'm just your placeholder? Your doormat? Knowing damn well I loved him and worked hard to make the relationship grow. It hurts me, at first I thought he wasn't feeling well, that he was struggling emotionally but he loved me; then he assured me he wasn't sure about his feelings and I knew all of his mistakes were actually caused by his lack of interest and love, and that he didn't even want me to wait, he just didn't want me, but why did he started the relationship then? I'll never understand all this nonsense, I just want to forget his selfishness.

Let's create a Slice of Life together :)
Hello! My name is Michelle. I have been roleplaying since I was 15. I took some breaks here and there, but recently got back into it since covid. I am looking to do a slice of life roleplay that has drama and is long term. I am in the MST time zone. I will my requirements below.
Please note I am NOT single. I am happily taken. YES my boyfriend knows I roleplay and he's 100% ok with it.
(1) I am ok with any gender. But I ONLY play a female.
(2) Playing side characters is a must. A good roleplay has a side characters. And when I play my own side characters it feels almost as if I am talking to myself and it makes for an awkward time posting a response.
(3) As I mentioned above, I am in the MST time zone. Although the time zones aren't an issue for me, I do ask that you are able to post at least 3 times a day. I understand life gets in the way sometimes. If you for some reason aren't able to make a post, please try your best to let me know. I am pretty patient but don't like being ghosted or wondering if I am being ghosted.
(4) I roleplay in third person, I prefer it that way, but don't be discouraged if you do not. I understand third person isn't for everyone and I am willing to do first as long as the plot is good.
(5) I strictly do slice of life only. Romance, drama, emotions, etc all involved in a roleplay makes for a great time. Please DON'T ask for anything sci-fi or fantasy related.
(6) No one liners please. It is very hard to respond to a one line post. Plus it gets boring exceptionally fast. Give me something to respond to. A good solid post should be at least 3-5 sentences. The more the better, but I do want to take my time with this. I don't want to make a four posts a day that has the length of a novel. Those get boring for me pretty fast too.
(7) I prefer to use face claims and a little bit of information about my character when doing descriptions. That being name, age, career, personality, and a little bit of backstory of how my character grew up. I expect the same effort from you.
And please note if you are planning on ghosting me after we get an entire roleplay set up please don't bother reaching out. Don't waste my time and I won't waste yours. Please don't send a two line message. It shows me you aren't serious. Tell me about you and why you think you will be a good rp partner.
If you feel as if you can meet my expectations then please don't hesitate to send me a message. I usually respond in a good timely manner. I will post some roles thay are favorites below, but please know I am NOT by any means set on these roles. I am open to others.
I like any role where you play a bad boy (I know most men are tired of this, which I get. Please know it isn't a must), arranged marriage, exes who reunite after being broken up for quite some time, friends with benefits (already established relationship) my character ends up pregnant, I am also up for combining any or all, of these roles.
If none of the roles I mentioned spark your fancy please don't hesitate to bring some of your ideas to surface. I love hearing new ideas and coming up with something together that is unique and filled with both of our interests.
I hope to hear from all of you wonderful roleplayers out there! Send me the word butterfly so I know you read the entire post. If you don't have butterfly somewhere in your message, I won't respond.

Here's a list of different forms of modern poetry, along with the title, poet, and a quote from a work that made the genre popular:

1. Spoken Word Poetry:
   
   • Title: "Holler If You Hear Me"
   • Poet: Saul Williams
   • Quote: "I exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias."
2. Instagram Poetry:
   
   • Title: "Milk and Honey"
   • Poet: Rupi Kaur
   • Quote: "you tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful but I was not made with a fire in my belly so I could be put out."
3. Hip-Hop Lyrics:
   
   • Title: "The Message"
   • Artist: Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
   • Quote: "Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head."
4. Spine Poetry:
   
   • Title: "A Hummingbird in My House"
   • Poet: S.C. Wilson
   • Quote: "In my house, the air is filled with a hummingbird's song, sweet and gentle."
5. Lyrical Essays:
   
   • Title: "Citizen: An American Lyric"
   • Poet: Claudia Rankine
   • Quote: "Because white men can’t / police their imagination / black men are dying."
6. Instapoetry:
   
   • Title: "The Sun and Her Flowers"
   • Poet: Rupi Kaur
   • Quote: "how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you."
7. Twitter Poetry:
   
   • Title: Twitter poetry often exists as micro-poetry or haikus within the platform.
   • Poet: Various Twitter poets
   • Quote: "City lights whisper, hearts embrace the night, love blooms in shadows."
8. Song Lyrics (Rock):
   
   • Title: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
   • Artist: Queen
   • Quote: "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango!"
9. Song Lyrics (Rap):
   
   • Title: "Lose Yourself"
   • Artist: Eminem
   • Quote: "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime."
10. Free Verse Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Leaves of Grass"
    • Poet: Walt Whitman
    • Quote: "I celebrate myself, and sing myself."
11. Ecopoetry
    
    • Title: "The Wild Iris"
    • Poet: Louise Glück
    • Quote: "You who do not remember / passage from the other world / I tell you I could speak again: whatever / returns from oblivion returns / to find a voice..."
12. Afrofuturist Poetry
    
    • Title: "Space is the Place"
    • Poet: Sun Ra (also a jazz musician)
    • Quote: "Space is the place of the mind; space is the place of the thoughts that are positive."
13. Pop Culture Poetry
    
    • Title: "The Princess Saves Herself in This One"
    • Poet: Amanda Lovelace
    • Quote: "but if you only shine light / on your flaws, all your perfects / will dim."
14. Transgressive Poetry
    
    • Title: "Hustle"
    • Poet: David Lerner
    • Quote: "Life's a fast car on a wet road, with no brakes and bald tires."
15. Multimedia Poetry
    
    • Title: "Inanimate Alice"
    • Poet: Kate Pullinger and Chris Joseph
    • Quote: "Inanimate Alice, Episode 4: 'Hometown' is a work that appeals not only to readers and writers but also to gamers and cinephiles."
16. Instapoetry
    
    • Title: "Salt."
    • Poet: Nayyirah Waheed
    • Quote: "if the ocean can calm itself, so can you. we are both salt water mixed with air."
17. Digital Minimalist Poetry
    
    • Title: "The New Census: An Anthology of Digital Poetry"
    • Poet: Stephane Mallarmé (the digital interpretation)
    • Quote: "Everything in the world exists in order to end up as a book."
18. Concrete Poetry
    
    • Title: "Easter Wings"
    • Poet: George Herbert
    • Quote: "With thee / O let me rise / As larks, harmoniously, / And sing this day thy victories."
19. Postcolonial Poetry
    
    • Title: "The God of Small Things"
    • Poet: Arundhati Roy
    • Quote: "Things can change in a day. All it takes is for something to happen that's not supposed to happen, and it sets off a chain of events that alters the course of everything."
20. Twitterature (Twitter Poetry)
    
    • Title: Various Tweets
    • Poet: Contemporary poets like Rupi Kaur, Warsan Shire, and others
    • Quote: "In the quietest hours of the night, I find solace in the echoes of your laughter. #moonlightwhispers"
21. Multimedia Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Hypertext Hotel"
    • Poet: Jodi Ann Stevenson
    • Quote: "In the digital corridors, every hyperlink is a door to a new verse."
22. Meme Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Internet Memes"
    • Poet: Various Internet Users
    • Quote: "Impact font wisdom, a generation's humor encapsulated in a single image."
23. Neo-Surrealist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Persistence of Memory"
    • Poet: Salvador Dalí (Visual Art)
    • Quote: "The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad."
24. Afrofuturist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Parable of the Sower"
    • Poet: Octavia E. Butler
    • Quote: "All that you touch, you change. All that you change, changes you."
25. Virtual Reality Poetry:
    
    • Title: "VR Dreamscape"
    • Poet: VR Experience Designers
    • Quote: "In pixelated realms, dreams dance in virtual echoes."
26. Magnetic Poetry (Magnetic Words):
    
    • Title: Various Magnetic Poetry Kits
    • Poet: Various Magnetic Poets
    • Quote: "On fridges and desks, words collide to birth serendipitous verses."
27. Post-Internet Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Being and Time in the Internet Age"
    • Poet: Kenneth Goldsmith
    • Quote: "In the age of information, poetry is reclaimed from the detritus of the digital landscape."
28. Transcendentalist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Walden"
    • Poet: Henry David Thoreau
    • Quote: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately."
29. Quantum Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
    • Poet: Gary Zukav (Science and Philosophy)
    • Quote: "The fact is, if you see it correctly, everything is dancing."
30. Asemic Writing Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Asemic Poems"
    • Poet: Various Asemic Writers
    • Quote: "In the absence of recognizable text, the pen dances freely, creating abstract visual poetry."

For anyone following we’ve had a few good weeks and things seem to be trending towards actually recovering and reconciling.
I also have recently been taking new medicine for my anxiety and while it’s helped quite a bit, when I take it as it’s new and we’re adjusting the dose, it causes spikes in my anxiety and then it feels like someone else is driving my body sometimes.
Anyways I was having a bad anxiety day. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from racing and drawing conclusions. My WW had thus far been honest with me and I may have fucked it all up. I let my anxiety control the conversation and I told her I can’t do this anymore. My brain wasn’t letting me reconcile what she was saying to her AP, and the reasons why she was saying those things (my love, cutie, sweetheart, or sending her love songs).
Her reasoning for not cutting off AP was because she said that AP is still dealing with a lot of grief with the death of her sister so my WW is trying to “be there and support her”.
This, obviously did not add up for me. I didn’t understand what was going on or why. The AP would often not respond to the cutesy stuff or leave her on read. I knew these things but still didn’t understand why my WW was saying it. Her reason wasn’t good enough.
It came to a head then the other day. I said I couldn’t do this. Hoping she’d help talk me down. Calm me down. And she tried but I let the anxiety control the conversation. I told her it didn’t make sense. That I don’t know why she’s saying those things. When she told me it would be platonic.
Well, the conversation devolved and I ended up having a panic attack and had to take like an hour or so and just breathe.
WW messaged me again and we were able to work through most of it. What I said. She had sent an email as a “declaration of love”. Highlighting how much she misses AP. AP hasn’t responded.
I knew she sent an email, not the content, and that came out in my spiral. She did send me it and I saw all the contents.
She maintained she “didn’t cheat”. I confronted her on this. Told her what I assumed happened. She tried to say that she was sorry I was hurt but supposedly I should’ve known when she said it was done that she was okay to do whatever.
I said nudes, and sexting, and making out is cheating. She agreed. So then I said you cheated. As I don’t do those things with my “friends”.
WW tried to justify it and when I simply said “Whatever” was when she took accountability. Stating that “Fine, it was a shitty thing to do.” I said I wasn’t sure she believed that.
She said, “Maybe I do believe it and I’m trying not to feel like a shitty human being and move on. Something you keep saying you’d like to do and then you continuously remind me of how shitty I am.”
Which 1) She hasn’t actually ever acknowledged or said something like the above. Surprising me with what seems to be the truth. 2) She says I remind her but it’s only a reminder because I was asking questions on things for clarity. And because I wasn’t willing to let her rug sweep.
So those two things together, make sense. It’s better than I never did that or I do XYZ with a lot of my friends.
Also stated that she still hasn’t sent anything sexual. Isn’t making any plans with her. Hasn’t seen her in over a month.
Which brings us to the culmination, I still pressed for a why? Why all that shit?
She said, “I’ve been testing her a lot with shit I say cuz I’m starting to see that I’m just the love of her life when it’s convenient for her. So.”
Following up with:
“That is why I haven’t stopped saying things. Because if im going to walk away from something 100% I need to know I’ve given it every opportunity. She knows how I feel. She can step up and grow up or I’m moving on without her. So. But when I try to get answers from her over messenger she avoids answering me or changes the subject or just plain doesn’t respond for two days.”
I asked her how she thought that was keeping things platonic or how that was her stepping back?
Responded with, “Because if she’s in fact not trying to or planning on making changes to herself then I’d rather just have a clean break and be done so I can move on. I’ve been getting real vague answers and I’m over it. I’m tired of having good things turn into bad things and I’m tired of just not being happy no matter what I do. That’s the mood I’ve been in for weeks now. I feel like an idiot for letting her in again.”
Which is why she’s trying to focus on just herself.
She also added that she’s not “testing me” because we’re still basically living our life together. She is watching what I’m doing and the changes I’m making for myself and she is so far very happy with the results. She says she knows how I feel about her and she’s never doubted it.
That was the truth. Finally. She said she didn’t think I’d believe her. But I do because that makes more sense than “I’m trying to be there for support”.
During the peak of my spiral she had said that AP was or is actually pushing her back towards me, until this stupid attack.
Thankfully she’s understanding of med changes and while she said her feelings were hurt she doesn’t think it set us back. We even were intimate later that night. Something she acknowledged earlier in the convo and said I’m doing things with you I’m not with her.
It’s still a hard place to be. But she’s here. She’s trying. I have to trust the process. Trust her. Which is something that I caused/had issues with before she cheated.
Today is also the anniversary of our first date. So I’m trying to focus on what she’s said and the actions she’s said. All things said, she’s been clear and transparent during this. May have not told me all the truth, but she did. And it makes sense.
She wished me a Happy Anniversary (9 years)without prompting. So. I’m trying to look forward. That we’ll be able to get there.
I know this was a lot. I’m open to opinions or what have you. I’m hoping while it’s messy, it seems to all line up. I don’t feel super crazy anymore. I hope that it seems that way to others but if not. Ya know. Feel free to drop your experiences.
Thank you, ~Ish

Just like the title says: my boyfriend’s roommate is really messy, to the point where it is clearly depression-related. He is our friend, but has never had many friends before meeting us, so he seems uncomfortable with being close to others. He but doesn’t open up much to us and makes it very difficult to understand him or what’s been bothering him, so we’ve never felt comfortable giving advice or offering help. He’s clearly been depressed for some time, and lost his job some months ago and never really explained why; we’ve felt very caught between being concerned and interested friends, and seeming like we’re prying insensitively. At this point, we’ve grown rather concerned — including about the state his bedroom, as there is no way for someone to live like that and feel good about themselves. While obviously his bedroom is not the cause of his depression, it seems like something that maybe we could help fix and alleviate some of his stress about if we offered to help him clean it, and it wouldn’t put him on the spot about his emotions, which clearly makes him uncomfortable. However, he does not know that we’ve peeked into his room to see it, and we aren’t sure how he’ll react to us potentially overstepping to offer. Would we be bad friends if we offered to help him clean his bedroom (should we just mind our business)? If any of you are depressed like this and also not very open with your emotions, what might make you feel better and more supported?
Tl;dr, my boyfriend and I want to be helpful to his depressed roommate and think that offering to clean his room could be a good idea, but we want feedback on if that’s weird or invasive, or other suggestions for how to help him.

Hey all, sharing a playlist I made that wakes me up every morning, a mix of mellow, good vibe chill music by Mac. Hoping for some more song recommendations to add onto this playlist so hit me up with your thoughts.
Peace, love and SMDBISYWI
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2vh3irXRDXacKtpZCQBWlU?si=4Fdsp4MOQsGIwSd5uYUsOA

• Current cards:
• Discover It $9,500 limit, Jan 2017
• Chase SP $13,900 limit, May 2019
• Amex BCP $7,000 limit, Nov 2019
• Citi Rewards+ $13,500 limit, May 2019
  
• Mortgage loan balance: $390,000
  
• FICO Score:
  
• according to Citi: 777
  
• according to AX: 763
  
• according to DS: 764
  
• according to Chase credit journey: 766
  
• Oldest account age: 7 yrs, 4months
  
• Income: $41,600
  
• Average monthly spend and categories:
  
• dining $50
  
• groceries: $250
  
• gas: $100
  
• mortgage: $1700
  
• misc: $500
  
• Open to Business Cards: No
  
• What's the purpose of your next card?
  
• I wanted the United Quest Chase card for the benefits and usage of United travel, tried to upgrade my CSP in January but didn’t get approved.
  
• The Costco card I would like for the 4% back on gas and the 2% back at Costco, plus I would add my BF as an authorized user since we both go to Costco and he obviously buys gas too. Both cards would be very beneficial in my life.
  
• Do you have any cards you've been looking at?
  
• Chase United Quest card
  
• Costco Citi CC
  
• Are you OK with category spending or do you want a general spending card?
  
• Like I stated previously.. I already have category spending with my other cards, but I want the Quest card for travels which is barely even anything but when I do, I usually go with United and I’m going out the country so the checked bag benefits would help, especially traveling with family. The Costco card would definitely be more general spending.
  

I’m really making this post because I don’t understand why I didn’t get approved for the Chase card other than I recently got a mortgage, with my boyfriend last Nov. (he and I split everything, mortgage, everything) We tried to open the Costco card in his name because he is the second household name and we tried to put me as an authorized user even though - I am the primary account holder for Costco, could that be why he wasn’t approved for this card?
Now I want to try to open the Costco card in my name but I don’t want to be denied, and with everything above I don’t see why I’m not getting approved. Other than the mortgage, is there any other reason why? And if it’s definitely the mortgage, can someone explain more to me? Bc in my eyes, I have a good credit score, 100% on time payments, etc. Idk why I believed people when they said “you get approved for anything after you get a mortgage” I really believed it for some reason. But if that’s not true, is there advice you guys may have? How long should I wait?
When I applied for the Quest card, I never received anything that I wasn’t approved. I had to call my bank and find out, they told me I would receive something in the mail stating why I didn’t get approved and I never received that. Can I call the CC bureau’s to see if they can appeal that decision??? Also, when I look at Credit Karma every other card I see, they claim “excellent approval odds” but idk how all this works… Thank you for reading.

⚠️ TLDR: My mom doesn't like when I don't want to hold hands with her, but I don't because it makes me uncomfortable.
(No actual SA described in detail here but I tagged it just in case...)
When I'm (23F) in a good mood, I don't mind it too much. It does irk me a tiny bit. But occasionally I'll go ahead and do it for her. When I'm in a bad mood or in my thoughts and listening to music, I don't want to be bothered.
My mom (43) will be driving sometimes, and randomly lightly slide her hand over the top of my forearm/hand to grab it, which for some random reason makes me uncomfortable. (May slightly, possibly, have a tiny chance of being due to the fact that I was molested by my cousin when I was in my single digits.) I hate when she does it because I'm in my thoughts and I'm suddenly being slid out of them with a weird feeling. Which is a good thing when said thoughts are depressing, but with the way she does it, it's like light feelings of electricity going through your arm hairs and I hate it. I hate being bothered when I'm just coming off of work or I'm in a bad mood.
But every time I say to stop doing that, she keeps doing it anyways, as if she's trying to piss me off, even though she says it's because she wants to hold hands with her own kid. She says she doesn't understand what the issue is, and I try to make up scenarios that she might understand, but she always finds a way to (seemingly on purpose) misunderstand them.
I understand that, because I used to love cuddling with my siblings when they were babies. But I'm not a baby anymore, so I can't have as many relaxing girl-talk moments with my mom when we sit in her bed, and she and I stopped cuddling as I grew up.
I don't cuddle with my 5 yr old brother anymore because I love him but kids in general annoy me with how easy they start bouncing off the walls. I hate when anyone besides my boyfriend randomly touches me, and even then I'm surprised. I hate handshakes too. And I've randomly touched people before but I had a situation in a job where a guy a few years younger than me disliked how I ruffled his hair twice to say hi, and brought it to my boss. That's one situation that got me to understand physical boundaries.
Today, the same hand-holding thing just happened 15 minutes ago, and I mentioned the context of personal space and boundaries to her in the "adult conversation" we just had, but her response was, "Right, as if I invade your personal space every day." I assume she said that because as soon as she, my brother, and I get home, I go straight into my room, change clothes, and relax in bed. And that's every single day.
I made the mistake of slamming doors and cursing to myself, but out loud. I have bad anger issues, which I'm trying to fix before I lose my job, but occasionally the anger drops like a bomb. I told her that I'm sorry for slamming doors, and she explained that it's her home, her sanctuary that shouldn't be damaged. I agree with that, even if I do pay her almost $700 a month. The lease is under her name, not mine. I just wish she would understand that not everyone has the same immediately positive mindset as her. I can be optimistic, but I have to dig my way out of the pessimism first.
I went outside, smoked for a sec, thought about an alternative method, and thought of her holding her hand out to me instead of randomly touching me. She was fine with that. And she acknowledged that I definitely am working on my anger with the big gap of time between now and the last time I slammed doors and threw a hole in the drywall.
I suppose we're all good and stuff now, I just wish it hadn't escalated the way it did. I could've just went straight to, "Ma, can you hold your hand out instead of randomly sliding yours onto me?" And then it be all good.

Gallivant are a London based perfumery creating ‘fragrance for urban explorers’. Their fragrances are all named after and inspired by big cities.
They currently have their 12 scents available as a sample set called the Nomad Discovery Set for £35, which includes credit for a full bottle. I read through all their scent descriptions and didn’t actually want the full set, so I only ordered 4. However, I’ve been sent a 10-sample set that doesn’t include Accra and Abu Dhabi. Probably extra stock of an older set so fair enough.
Their 30ml FBs are £70, and their 100 mls are £150.
These first four reviews are for the 4 fragrance samples I originally ordered (i.e I am more likely to enjoy them based on their notes and description)
Brooklyn

• bergamot, squeezed lemon and orange juice. Incense, cardamom, fresh air and ozonic notes
• magnolia, orris root and transparent flowers
• musks, white woods, benzoin, amber

I can't pick out invidual notes here, but I DO get the warmth on the skin vibes they are after! It’s gentle and soothing - I think there’s a faint vanilla in there. I wouldn’t call it ‘fizz on an urban playground’, more like a sunny balcony overlooking the street. It continues to be soft and gentle the whole way through wear, it’s very cuddly and I’d wear it to snuggle with my boyfriend. Compared to the others, it’s warm without as much incense.
Definitely on the skin scent side, but I don’t mind for how intimate it feels. It lasted on my skin past lunchtime, and my mom adored that it lasted all day on her clothes. This already feels hard to top.
Sister thinks it smells generic, but our baseline is mom’s perfume collection (she likes powdery scents). I guess it’s more like, it smells of mom in a good way. Like a comforting way.
I wore Brooklyn as my SOTD on the 8th May - a couple sprays on my left wrist. It's not a strong projector but it was still on my wrist after 6 hours.
Los Angeles.

• "Airy and aromatic in the opening with notes of eucalyptus, clary sage, mandarin and pineapple
• A floral heart with an absolute of narcissus and tuberose – a nod to the Mexican flavour of this city
• And a shimmering smoky woody base with cade, guaiac wood, nagarmotha / cypriol, musks and heliotrope"

I definitely get all three of these layers to the scent. An evening out on holiday. Classy, fun, little black dress and heels and having a night out on the town by the beach. It will cool you in a heatwave and warm you when there’s an evening chill. It doesn’t match me personality wise, but it’s still a nice scent! I will keep this sample for a night out.
Tel Aviv

• "clementine, bergamot, natural blackcurrant bud absolute
• jasmine sambac absolute, comoros’ ylang ylang, rose oil, freesia
• sandalwood, musks, deer’s tongue (liatrix) absolute, benzoin"

Lovely florals! Definitely on the rosy side. Sweet (but not overly so!) and sunny. This projects a bit more than the other three I picked. Once the citrus fades out we’re left with an almost soapy floral mix.
Sis: smells like febreeze.
Tokyo

• yuzu, bergamot, black pepper and cardamom, electrified with a dash of wasabi
• A woody heart of hinoki, cedarwood, orris root, nutmeg, rose and incense.
• A base of amber, sandalwood, patchouli and vetiver

I’m hoping to visit Tokyo sometime not too far away, and the initial spray is kind of how I’d imagine it would smell? Once it hits the dry down it reminds me of a scent from Oud Attar - warm, woody, incense like. It’s not bad but not really my thing.
The following reviews are for the rest of the set (I.e. I wasn’t particularly drawn to them based on description, and would be surprised to get a hit out of these)
London

• cucumber, violet leaves
• rose de mai absolute, rose oil, orris root
• suede, leather, sandalwood, patchouli, cedarwood

Rosy, woody and leathery for sure! I wish the cucumber stuck around, that was really refreshing? What a cool and gritty scent. I get a ton of leather (I’ve never smelt leather in a fragrance, but I used to work in a shoe store and once the association clicked I was like WOAH, back room, men’s shoe shelves smell?? ). It’s not for me, but it really makes me feel like I’m one of the cool crowd, earning enough to live in London. (I realise I could say this about any other big city, but as a Brit and not a Londoner it was what I felt in my soul.)
Sister didn’t like it - it gets points for being accurate to London, but loses points for being London, haha!! Reminds her of dad’s colognes though...?
Naples

• Bergamot, pepper, ginger, salt
• incense
• clearwood, patchouli, vetiver, birch

Incense and patchouli really bring a warm and spicy feel forward here. It’s a touch aquatic too. There’s citrus in it, but I don’t really get it, unfortunately.
Istanbul

• "bergamot, cardamom, red thyme
• lavender absolute, egyptian geranium essence, patchouli heart, sweet myrrh (opoponax) essence
• sandalwood, vanilla, tonka bean, amber, musks"

I have no idea what’s goin on here but I’m surprised to find that I like this. A warm floral feel. Not something I’d like on myself though!
We are discovering sis’ licorice note she doesn't like is possibly cardamom.
Berlin

• "grapefruit, clementine, lemon and schinus molle CO2 extract
• A spicy heart containing black pepper and black tea and woody undertones of Haitian vetiver, cedarwood and patchouli"

It is what it is. Just as described, not really standing out. Sis says it smells discordant. The top notes are great, but the rest not so much.
Bukhara

• "caraway, pear, coriander and bergamot
• A floral woody heart with orris, ambrette, osmanthus and a touch of jasmine. Clove and apricot enrich the colours and textures
• And a base of benzoin resin, saffron, amber, wood and cotton-soft musks. And Ralf's transparent silk accord (one of the first things he ever created at perfume school)"

sis says it’s a hotel reception smell. I say it’s like a hotel with a spa in it. Then she says it develops into a an orthodontist waiting room.
Gdansk

• "plum, honey, cardamom, nutmeg and saffron
• A rich, woody heart with leather notes, cistus absolute, sustainable sandalwood oil from New Caledonia, patchouli, and incense resinoid – with a light touch of rose
• And a deep, earthy, smoky ambery base of tobacco absolute, cypriol, styrax (liquidambar), vanilla, musks and ambergris ( we use a plant-derived substitute, no animal by-products )"

an autumnal scent. I don’t really have much to say about this one! For many of these scents it's just been a lot of incense and there's only so many ways I can tell you I'm not a fan.
Sister's ranking:

1. Gdansk
2. Los angeles
3. Naples
4. London
5. Tel aviv
6. Tokyo
7. Berlin and istanbul
8. Brooklyn
9. Bukhara

Overall - Their blends seem to be gentle enough to my nose (I.e, I wasn’t immediately repulsed by any). My sister felt that the scents transitioned much faster than other sets we tried. It smells as if there’s incense in many of them to give that warm and spicy feel, which I don’t tend to like in fragrances at the moment. But I can understand how, with their goal of travelling via scent, incense becomes a realistic and homely and cultural link.
As a set, it’s like the opposite of the Saltworks Company Fresh Experience set (cool and fresh vs warm and spiced). It’s less a holiday, less touristy and more backpacking across the world to meet new people and broaden your horizons. It’s the smells you get when you don’t stay in a hotel but are welcomed into someone else’s home. You’re not wearing these for beast mode projection, but because it’s reminding you of something nice. They do last well, over 6 hours on me for quite a few of them.
FB worthy? As of now I’ve actually bought a small bottle of Brooklyn for my mom and I to share as we loved it so much. Neither of us have been to Brooklyn, though.
Next on my trial sets to try is Floral Street. At some point soon I'll have to destash my samples (if you're UK based... 👀)!
Let me know if you've tried this brand! What other sets would you suggest for me to try next?

So as the title says I have a very close female friend, and it's her birthday in a few months. I was thinking about what to get her and I was looking for stuff that symbolizes friendship, and I almost always saw something called a Claddagh ring mentioned, which is often used as a friendship ring. And I honestly really liked the look of it.
I saw other stuff that was decent aswell, but I always ended up thinking that the Claddagh ring was better tbh. So after looking at many options of gifts, I decided to order a Claddagh ring. It's gold plated since she likes gold colored jewelry, the heart has her birth month stone in it, and her name is engraved in the ring.
At this point I should probably mention that she does have a boyfriend (20M). I've met him a few times, but we're just acquaintances. And I also want to make it perfectly clear that I have no romantic intentions with this ring, my friend is very near and dear to my heart, but I'd never try to "make a move" or whatever, this is just a platonic gift, but I'm worried it won't be thought of as such.
We're both freshmen in the same college class. And we've become very close friends in that short time we've known eachother. I also want to say that I've never really had many friends, especially close friends, so maybe that'll help explain why I bought this gift. Having a friend means quite a lot to me, and I feel like one of my only good traits is that I'm loyal to my friends and to people I hold dear, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have a close friend. I've bought my close male friends' gifts for their birthdays before, but I've never really had a close female friend, so I didn't think that getting a ring would be that insanely odd. And I legitimately wasn't aware that rings are that special, obviously I know that they often have romantic connotations, but I genuinely thought that just making your intentions clear was enough, but now I'm worried it's not.
Obviously I know that giving her a ring might be odd or weird, but I honestly just want to give her a nice gift that symbolizes friendship, and as soon as I saw the Claddagh ring I just felt it was the right call.
But I've legitimately been stressing out so damn much over the past few days that maybe I'll ruin our friendship or make things weird or awkward, and at this point I don't know what to do. I've ordered the ring so I can't just tell them to take it back.
I've thought of a few "solutions" but none of them are that great tbh:

1. I feel like I could maybe tell her in advance about the ring, or atleast tell her that I got her a gift that is just meant to be a platonic gift.
   
2. Or I could give one of our mutual female friends the ring and ask them if they could gift it to her, but I feel like that would also be weird.
   
3. Also, I know that some people wear necklaces with rings, so maybe I could make it into that. But I don't know if this would make it any less odd.
   
4. I could also hold on to the ring and wait until next year maybe, I don't know what this would accomplish aside from giving me more time to stress about this, but it's a thought.
   
5. Or is it just best to do what I planned from the start, and give her the ring, and just tell her that it's completely platonic when I give it to her.
   

I feel like I'm inconsiderate or selfish for buying this right now, and I feel like I've royally f***ed it to say the least, but I just wanted to get her a nice gift, and now I'm stressing out more than I maybe should. I honestly don't know what to do at this point.
TL;DR: I have a very close female friend, and it's her birthday in a few months. I bought a Claddagh ring as a platonic birthday gift for her. I have no romantic interest in her, nor any romantic intentions with the ring, but I'm now worried it might be thought of as such. She does have a boyfriend, we're just acquaintances. Obviously I know that giving her a ring might be odd or weird, but I honestly just want to give her a nice gift that symbolizes friendship. I've legitimately been stressing out so damn much over the past few days that maybe I'll ruin our friendship or make things weird or awkward, and at this point I don't know what to do.

Hello, I am a 25 y/o F. It feels like my life is spiraling down. I just started a new job and I am having issues with my relationship. I recently graduated nursing school, got my license and I am currently training fulltime on a neurosurgery floor working 12 hour shifts. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, he is my first boyfriend and we are long distance. He is a great guy, very caring and kind and genuinely cares about me. When in a long distance relationship, someone has to eventually move to the other person and there is no way he is coming to my small city so I would need to move to him. The issue is he lives in another country, America, and I am in Canada.
I was homeless and depressed and attempted su**ide many years ago. I am much better but lately, things haven't been good for me mentally/emotionally and I have no one to speak to. My parents are unavailable. I would need to move to America but the issue is I am not sure if I even want to move there ... I just started building my life here, I want to go back to school for more years but I am 25 and when will I move there? When I am close to 30? Then we live together, decide if we even want to be together, get married and have kids, which will take time. I also need someone in real life, I see him for a couple days every 2 months and it's not enough. When youre in a relationship, you want to be with that person, you need that person. He knows I am thinking of ending things but we decided to take a 1 month break ... I have to think about our relationship and what is next because I don't want to keep wasting each others time if we don't even have a future together, but it difficult because he is a good person.
I need to make a decision, to end things or continue. I feel alone, I feel like there is more to being in a relationship. His passion is his work, which I admire a lot. It was always be his priority. He is not very active and I would love to travel the world and do adventurous things and always dreamed of a partner who is interested in that as well but he isn't like that. Which isn't a big deal. I don't know if I am self sabotaging, the emotional stress is a lot. At work I see intense things, I see people die, I speak to patients and families who are suffering. It's a lot emotionally right now, especially since I am fulltime and training, learning new stuff but I am also dealing with this relationship issue. I think I still have a lot of anxiety and some depression. Finding a therapist is difficult but we all need therapists so I am going to look for one once I finish training and am part time.
I just don't know what to do, I know I should focus on work and doing well so my manager says I can start working alone, not with another nurse by my side. I also need to make a decision about my boyfriend, which probably isn't the time to do so but it's affecting me a lot. He spoke to his friends and they all said I don't want to commit to him and probably think I can find someone like him or better in my area. I know this will pass but it feels like it won't and has been going on for a while, I am not sure what to do. What choice to make, I stay with him and potentially regret it in the future, things probably won't be same either... or I end things and I lose a good guy.

Hello, I am a 25 y/o F. It feels like my life is spiraling down. I just started a new job and I am having issues with my relationship. I recently graduated nursing school, got my license and I am currently training fulltime on a neurosurgery floor working 12 hour shifts. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, he is my first boyfriend and we are long distance. He is a great guy, very caring and kind and genuinely cares about me. When in a long distance relationship, someone has to eventually move to the other person and there is no way he is coming to my small city so I would need to move to him. The issue is he lives in another country, America, and I am in Canada. I was homeless and depressed and attempted su**ide many years ago. I am much better but lately, things haven't been good for me mentally/emotionally and I have no one to speak to. My parents are unavailable. I would need to move to America but the issue is I am not sure if I even want to move there ... I just started building my life here, I want to go back to school for more years but I am 25 and when will I move there? When I am close to 30? Then we live together, decide if we even want to be together, get married and have kids, which will take time. I also need someone in real life, I see him for a couple days every 2 months and it's not enough. When youre in a relationship, you want to be with that person, you need that person. He knows I am thinking of ending things but we decided to take a 1 month break ... I have to think about our relationship and what is next because I don't want to keep wasting each others time if we don't even have a future together, but it difficult because he is a good person. I need to make a decision, to end things or continue. I feel alone, I feel like there is more to being in a relationship. His passion is his work, which I admire a lot. It was always be his priority. He is not very active and I would love to travel the world and do adventurous things and always dreamed of a partner who is interested in that as well but he isn't like that. Which isn't a big deal. I don't know if I am self sabotaging, the emotional stress is a lot. At work I see intense things, I see people die, I speak to patients and families who are suffering. It's a lot emotionally right now, especially since I am fulltime and training, learning new stuff but I am also dealing with this relationship issue. I think I still have a lot of anxiety and some depression. Finding a therapist is difficult but we all need therapists so I am going to look for one once I finish training and am part time. I just don't know what to do, I know I should focus on work and doing well so my manager says I can start working alone, not with another nurse by my side. I also need to make a decision about my boyfriend, which probably isn't the time to do so but it's affecting me a lot. He spoke to his friends and they all said I don't want to commit to him and probably think I can find someone like him or better in my area. I know this will pass but it feels like it won't and has been going on for a while, I am not sure what to do. What choice to make, I stay with him and potentially regret it in the future, things probably won't be same either... or I end things and I lose a good guy.