Too much text for excel cell

On mothers day sunday my husband and I (32 n 33) got into an explosive argument after family left. He was upset that a friend showed up with her husband and her kids. We have known this friend for many years. since high school but we see her once in a while because she lives like an hr away. When she asked if she could come visit after visiting her mom at the cementary, I let her know that its going to be a full house because family is coming over. I thought this would disencourage her to come but it didn't. She actually liked the idea... she even said for a little bit only. I felt like i couldn't get out of it. anyway everyone arrived at the same time. it was a full house, we had drinks and had lunch and just hung out. It was nice to have her kids over so my son could get some play time.
The whole time my husband was just mad at me. If i went to say something to him he would make a face or just look uncomfortable. I picked up on it early during the gathering and was confused about it. My mom left and our friend was getting ready to leave the gathering was ending. The only ones that were getting ready to extend the party were his parents, his sister and her bf. Asking for everyone's order for the tacos they were going to get. its sunday and we work early the next day. Plus we still have to give our baby a bath and put things away.
It has happened before where they do this so my husband and I had discussed it. We agreed that we weren't going to mention tacos or ask for any so they didn't do it again. They come ask him for his order and he gives it to them looking at me. I mention to him that we had agreed and he just turned it around saying its going to happen anyway. By now I'm fully upset because like always he makes me look like a B just for speaking out. And I know he is only doing it for revenge. I just tend my baby and start getting ready for tomorrow. Then I check my phone and see that he has texted me calling me a narcissistic ass and letting me know my brother got some tacos too. As if he knew our deal. (he lives with us. so as his sister)
I immediately erupt because
1 he is texting me like a lil bitch
and 2 he is the only narcissistic person I know and is verbally abusive.
I go outside to confront him about texting me instead of trying to talk to me and also to confront him about being to rude with me the whole gathering. Instead we just argue. He yells saying that even my brother got tacos and that I'm getting mad about tacos. I explain to him its about the boundary that we wanted to set that the gathering ends at 7. If they want tacos they can go get some and eat them at their house. Like how is this rude on my part.
He then calls me a retard and slams the door. My brother yelled at him to calm down and by now i was already outside on his face. While carrying my baby because he had been crying. He yells telling me something about how annoying it was that our friend was there and how i didn't do anything about it. I found it unbelievable that he found that annoying when he has work "friends" over to play magic at least twice a month. i don't have many friends... and whenever I do have a friend over he is bothered with me.
When we argue we are always alone. and since baby we have really held back on exploding. I always make sure that we arent giving anyone a show, or making the uncomfortable. I keep our relationship very private. Until now because I'm fed up with it.
I come from a very aggressive domestic violence home.. I don't stand for any insults or going days without working things out.
We have been together for 15 years and married for 6. We have a 1yr old and just purchased a house a yr ago.
Of course with all relationships comes issues and make ups. We have worked on ours obviously.
My issue with him has been his verbal abuse. and we have got into physical fights before because of it. Noone knows about it. And I have no one to trust.
After this argument tho I feel like im just a fool. I have so much resentment now. I pride myself in knowing I have not gone down the same path as my mother. That I've broke the cycle but I feel like I've failed.
I think I just failed at choosing the right person for me. And I don't want to put my baby through it.. I feel like im stuck now with the home. I been contemplating about how to separate and wonder how things would be. I feel like shit mentally. I feel like im a shitty person. And that no one respects me.
There is so much behind it besides with little argument about tacos. Its so much. more than that..

I phoned the dwp just now to enquire about a text they sent me about my income support. One of the questions they asked was about whether I claimed carers allowance. I said I had claimed it for my gran but I was no longer in receipt of it due to it now being claimed by my uncle. The agent told me that as i no longer claim CA I'm also not able to claim income support now and need to claim universal credit. I am now worrying about having to pay back the income support ad I was unaware of it and have been claiming it past the time the ca stopped in February. I've also taken out money from the account my benefits go into in fear of the government inspecting that account and seeing I had too much money in the balance. The money taken out is in a safe but will I have to pay all that back too? It accumulated over the last few years and comprises of pip, carers allowance, col and income support.

So last year I (23) met this guy (31) at work. At first I wasn’t interested at all nor was I attracted to him (even though he is a very good looking guy) (FYI I would consider myself as very attractive. Since I get a lot of attention and compliments from guys). He chased me at the beginning and I showed no interest at all. But he kept talking to me. One day he asked me for social media (I thought nothing of it) and started texting me. He often told me that I’m beautiful etc. (FYI he is kind of shy even thought he is good looking) He also told me that he asked for my social media, because he was afraid he would never see me again (since he is quitting that job to start a bigger job). So now he is working at his job and I’m still working in that old job. He texted me lesser and lesser but still liked every single of my story. One day I asked him out since I thought he was too shy/nervous to ask me out. He agreed and texted how excited he was to see me. On that day we were to meet up, but he texted me in the morning that he didn’t feel well. I was like okay maybe he really got sick. He also apologised but mind you he didn’t reschedule. So I was kinda pissed. It’s been over 3 month and he still likes my stories. A few month ago, I decided to text him asking how he is doing. He starts flirting and I assume he is still interested. I give him hints to ask me out. He kind of does but when I recommend a date when I have time (it was in that same week we texted) he ignores the message. He then texts me 3 days later that he is struggling with life and works too much. Which I totally understand, but why does he lead me on then (he asked me when I have time that week, then says that he can’t meet). So I text him that why does he flirt when he knows exactly that it won’t work out and gives me false hope. He didn’t respond and I’ve been ghosted for now 2 month. He still likes every single of my story.

1. Why won’t he meet up with me?
2. Is it because he is struggling with life?
3. And if so, does he want me to wait?

So last year I (23) met this guy (31) at work. At first I wasn’t interested at all nor was I attracted to him (even though he is a very good looking guy) (FYI I would consider myself as very attractive. Since I get a lot of attention and compliments from guys). He chased me at the beginning and I showed no interest at all. But he kept talking to me. One day he asked me for social media (I thought nothing of it) and started texting me. He often told me that I’m beautiful etc. (FYI he is kind of shy even thought he is good looking) He also told me that he asked for my social media, because he was afraid he would never see me again (since he is quitting that job to start a bigger job). So now he is working at his job and I’m still working in that old job. He texted me lesser and lesser but still liked every single of my story. One day I asked him out since I thought he was too shy/nervous to ask me out. He agreed and texted how excited he was to see me. On that day we were to meet up, but he texted me in the morning that he didn’t feel well. I was like okay maybe he really got sick. He also apologised but mind you he didn’t reschedule. So I was kinda pissed. It’s been over 3 month and he still likes my stories. A few month ago, I decided to text him asking how he is doing. He starts flirting and I assume he is still interested. I give him hints to ask me out. He kind of does but when I recommend a date when I have time (it was in that same week we texted) he ignores the message. He then texts me 3 days later that he is struggling with life and works too much. Which I totally understand, but why does he lead me on then (he asked me when I have time that week, then says that he can’t meet). So I text him that why does he flirt when he knows exactly that it won’t work out and gives me false hope. He didn’t respond and I’ve been ghosted for now 2 month. He still likes every single of my story.

1. Why won’t he meet up with me?
2. Is it because he is struggling with life?
3. And if so, does he want me to wait?

Hi Everyone! I posted this on Colognes but figured I’d share here, too.
I’ve always loved good smelling stuff and for the last 15 years I’ve usually had one bottle of cologne, and would replace once it’s out. Only in the last few months have I really delved into this world and began filling out a modest collection. I’m definitely not an expert (so take my reviews with a big grain of salt) but I love smelling and writing so here ya go. (Fucking wall of text incoming lmao, I didn’t realize how lengthy this got)
I just got back from a three-hour mall trip to try and get my nose on as many niche fragrances as my senses would tolerate. I had already done a good bit of research so I had some picked out to try and others already crossed-off. Im a 30M for reference.
I also had the goal in mind to find a contender for a fall/winter scent that exudes class, sophistication and decadence. For that, I’ve already tried a few that I really enjoy, and kind of used these as a springboard to continue exploring:
Xerjoff Alexandria II- This is what I envision royalty wearing. Lavender and rosewood mix soooo nice in the open, and dries into a lovey rose/vanilla/essence of oud. The oud is really toned down here for those that dislike it. It’s kind of hard to pick out. Nuclear performance.
Initio Oud for Greatness- Another good starter oud, you could say (this was my introduction to oud). It lasts forever and the dry down is seriously heavenly. The wet, soily oud is at the forefront for 2-4 hours, but I’m absolutely in love with what’s left when it disappears. Lavender, saffron, nutmeg and musk mixes into the best dryer-sheet-like scent I’ve come across (what it reminds ME of at least).
Perfums de Marly Haltane- Quite similar in the opening to Oud for Greatness. Haltane is darker, though, where I get more leathesmoke. I think the oud in this is more subdued, or at least less moist smelling. It blends well and lasts a good while.
Initio Atomic Rose- Holy shit. Apparently rose gets my motor GOING. I tried a lot of rose-centric fragrances today, but this probably still takes the cake for its balance and strength, in addition to the scent itself being just gorgeous.
So with those in mind I was off to Neiman Marcus. I sampled a large amount more than what I’ve written, but stuck to the ones that were memorable; good or bad.
Frederic Malle - Portrait of a Lady- My favorite of the Frederic Malle. Sensual rose/clove/currant at the front, but it is kind of hard to pick out specific notes on this one. After looking, I can get the cinnamon in the background of the dry down, it blends perfectly with the sandalwood, rose and benzoin after drying down. - Carnal Flower- Some similarity to POAL, lots of tuberose and jasmine, which I personally like. A bright yet sensual floral, and you get some coconut and melon there, too. I typically dislike coconut but this is blended masterfully. - Lipstick Rose- Yeah, that’s what it smells like. Try this if you’ve seen people describe scents as lipstick-y or violet taking on that accord. Not my cup of tea, also leans more feminine to my nose than the other two. - Musc Ravageur- I really wanted to like this one. And for a split second I did! A clove-y vanilla sasparilla is what I first got, and it unfortunately turned into barnyard urine. I immediately remembered seeing some reviews stating this, and I couldn’t get my nose to move past it. I can tell there’s good stuff there, but not for me.
Amouage - Reflection- The only one I’d tried before, and remains one of my favs. Rosemary and pink pepper greet you with a deep, fresh spice. The vetiver and patchouli sit nicely at the bottom, and the combination of white florals mixes wonderfully. Another scent I could imagine on royalty, and seems pretty versatile, too. You could wear this year-round without feeling out of place. Insane staying power. - Lyric- Probably my favorite, but I need to smell again on another day. Compared to the other Amouage, I had to continually stick my nose in the coffe beans to pick up the scent from the test strip. When I did get it, it was a lovely light, fresh scent. Quite a departure from the other Amouage I’ve tried, but great. No surprise, the list of notes are some of my favorites: lime, bergamot, rose, orange blossom, saffron, nutmeg, musk, pine, vanilla, incense, sandalwood. Seriously, love each and all those individually and they come together beautifully. - Interlude- Another good one. Dark, mysterious. Definitely get the oregano/peppepatchouli/incense bomb off the top. Leather lurking behind. I typically don’t gravitate toward the leathery scents but this one’s good. - Enclave- This pretty much seals the deal for me that on me, mint just ain’t it. I liked Sedley at first, but the mint somehow gets too cloying to my nose after too long. I can tell I would get the same from the peppermint in the opening of Enclave. I almost liked this one, too. If you can even tolerate peppermint, you’ll enjoy this one.
Mind Games - Blockade- Wowww. First sniff love, here. Explosion of citrus, juicy fruit-y sex. I usually find myself staying away from citrus-forward scents but this shit is next level. This will be a contender for my next upscale summer buy. - Double Attack- Another love at first sniff. It’s familiar, though. Chocolate/orange/cinnamon/vanilla. You’ll want to eat it right up. I already have this box checked in my collection, but may come back to it in the future. - Checkmate- Another lovely scent. Champagne, red currant, rose, magnolia, little patchouli. It all comes together really nicely, and it was difficult for me to pick out specific notes before looking. Not a love, but I was really impressed with the quality and scent profile of the Mind Games I tried.
Clive Christian - Town & Country- Wow. No seriously, like fucking wow. Smells like an Italian fruit cart strolling through an English manor’s sprawling garden road. I look at the notes and I don’t understand how you get this smell supposedly out of Clary Sage, Ambergris, and Sandalwood. Like, what? This is high quality shit. I get some pear or grapes there, too. Try this. - Crab Apple Blossom- Yum yum yum this is goooood. Smells like it sounds. Bergamot, apple blossom and rhubarb dance around playfully together. Can’t help but have a big stupid smile on your face when you smell this. The more it dried down, the more it might be my favorite over Town & Country. - Matsukita- Another great scent. In the same vein as the other two since they are part of the same “Crown Collection.” You get some smokiness, here. Bergamot with nutmeg and mate give depth and a little mystery. White florals, woody ambers and musk at the base. Just quality stuff here. All three of these in the Crown Collection were available in 10ml travel size gift pack for $300. Good idea to put on my wish list. That shit is kiiiinda expensive.
Xerjoff - Erba Pura- I did not expect to like this as much as I did! Favorite that I sampled. Perfect combination of citrus and fruitiness off the top, layered over a bed of sweet musk. Something here is very familiar to my nose but I couldn’t place it. This will be another top contender for a future upscale summer purchase. - Accento- Soothing scent. Fruity white floral (usually dumb reach for me), and the iris gives it some powder but not overpowering. Not as feminine-leaning as I would have expected. - Iommi- Delicious! Sweet smoky rum off the top, and it’s a little surprising how forward the patchouli and leather is in this. It’s bordering on being a little overpowering, but it tames a bit on the dry down. I’d need to see how this goes on my skin, for sure. - Torino 21- Another one that I liked way more than expected. I’m going back and seeing mint listed as a top note here…I didn’t get that! And thank God since mint usually is a non-starter. Kind of an aquatic green to my nose. Again, just a lovely scent. - Naxos- Yeah ok this is good shit. I was expecting a sweet bomb, but this is definitely more restrained than what a lot of reviewers will have you believe. I’m a sucker for lavender and bergamot. Throw in honey and jasmine atop a bed of tobacco, vanilla and tonka bean? Yes please. - Erba Gold- Pretty good. To my nose more feminine than Erba Pura, likely due to the extra fruits in the middle. That combination of citruses, pear and melon is reminiscent of particular ladies’ scents.
Louis Vuitton - L’Immensité- Ohhhh yeahh. Relaxation in a bottle. My favorite besides maybe Fleur du Desert. This, Imagination and Météore all kind of dance to the same song, so to speak. More than one of these would be redundant, in my opinion. The quality speaks through each of these fragrances, though- really nice stuff. - Imagination- The name fits, as a lot of the notes here are almost fleeting like a word on the tip of your tongue. It’s a great, calming scent but it didn’t blow me away. Like I said, L’Immensité was the best of these and I don’t see the need to diversify within this collection. - Météore- Compared to L’Immensité, there’s a little more sweetness here. This leans closer to a shower gel-like scent in my opinion. Still great. - Fleur du Désert- This one started out reallly good. Honey and cinnamon into rose and orange blossom is an intriguing, sensual combination. Unfortunately, smelling it on my arm after a couple hours, the jasmine and honey turn into something my mind recognizes as an old lady scent. The POAL on my hand, by comparison, keeps mixing with my skin in a great pheromonic way. - Ombre Nomad- Disappointed with this one. I’m realizing I don’t gravitate toward darker scents like heavy oud, leather, incense. I can tell it’s put together really well and uses quality materials, but this isn’t one that was made for me.
All in all, my main take-aways include: Xerjoff scents living up to the name. I was definitely impressed with their offerings, and would have expected it to lean closer to overrated. Same with Mind Games. Really enjoyed everything I sampled from them, even if it wasn’t my cup of tea, I was impressed with the quality. Also, I need to get back and sample the rest of the Clive Christian house. I was absolutely blown away with what I tried.
A little bonus: I tried TF Noir de Noir, Extreme Noir, and Cafe Rose. Extreme Noir is excellent. A regal mix of saffron, nutmeg and cardamom on top of rose and white florals. Ahhhh, again, similar to what I imagine a king or king to smell like.
Cafe Rose is probably the second best rose-centric scent to my nose besides Atomic Rose. I’ll need to put those side by side.
Anyway, feel free to ask away if you’d like. I was bored and inspired so killed some time writing this out :)

Repost from MCAT since I didn’t get any responses there
So I got a spot for late August near where I live (SoCal, thought I’d have to go to Texas lol), and it’s May and I don’t know if I’m too far behind for this to be doable (I’d love a 510+).
I’d be starting off late May with decent gen bio (no cell/moleculamicro bio), decent psychology/sociology, passable gen chem, poor organic chem (likely gonna fail second semester), very basic biochem, basically no physics (I took them), and some anatomy. I don’t think I’m that bad at CARS (non-native speaker pain) but I’ll still grind. I have the AAMC stuff, all the Kaplan books and UHaul. I’ll have most of the summer to focus primarily on studying (like, 30-40 hrs/week, 10 weeks, 300-400ish hours total).
I’m willing to move it to next spring. By then I would’ve taken neuroanatomy (major req), structural and metabolic biochem and molecular bio, retaken organic chem 2nd semester, and had more time to slowly grind through all the content review and practice questions/tests while taking no more than 12 units (mostly MCAT relevant or adjacent).
I was initially planning on this being my backup attempt, but now I’m wondering if I can handle getting prepared for August or just wait until 2025. Money shouldn’t be too much of an issue. What do you think? Sorry for the terrible formatting I did this on my phone lol

If you want, you can see my previous very long post about our breakup for more details (this one will also probably be pretty long tbh). Everyone’s comments along with a few therapy sessions made me realize how one sided our relationship was. I’ve been in much longer and more committed relationships than this one, and had much worse breakups all things considered. But I’ve never felt like this. I know that grief isn’t a linear process. It comes in waves. However, I’ve always prided myself on being calm and collected even in the worst of times. I managed to hold it together pretty well when I lost my dad a year and a half ago, and worked through that in a healthy way. Why can’t I do that now? It’s been a month and a half. This should be so much smaller in the grand scheme of things.
I saw her yesterday at the grocery store, we were using self checkouts right next to each other. We ended up basically walking out together. I think she noticed me and just tried to pretend I didn’t exist. I immediately felt sick to my stomach, with this mix of deep sadness and anger. It took everything I had not to fall apart right then and there. I couldn’t eat dinner, and still managed to puke when I got home and then again in the middle of the night after waking up from a dream about us.
A realization that I had after my last post is how little she would compromise on things. A few of you that said that I was a doormat, and you’re right. I somehow let so many things slip that I shouldn’t have. It was her first serious relationship, she wasn’t used to having to compromise much. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She asked so much of me, maybe too much, and I gave to her maybe too freely. But the few times that I asked things of her, she’d almost always say no.
I wanted to watch Home Alone over Christmas. It was a tradition that I shared with my dad, some of my earliest memories are about that. I wanted to continue that tradition and I couldn’t bring myself to do it alone, so I asked her to watch it with me. I explained how important it was. She refused, time after time, every stay at home date we had between Thanksgiving and New Years. She went on rants about how traditions are stupid, and how she hates movies about kids (yet we watched the Harry Potter movies at her request, the first few are made by the same people that made Home Alone). It’s like she didn’t even hear me asking for support when I needed her, she only heard that I was asking her to put up with something she didn’t like for an hour and a half. On the other hand, I never said no to her.
This played out time and time again, in small and big ways. My mom was going to give us the money for our dream vacation to Ireland. All she wanted in return was a nice picture of us in front of something recognizably Irish, a castle or something. She was doing this incredibly nice thing for us, and just asked for that one thing. She just wanted to see me happy, traveling the world with the person I love, after having to give up the last 4 years of my life dealing with my dad’s illness (along with losing all of my grandparents and 2 uncles in the same timeframe) But my ex didn’t like having her picture taken. She would put up with it for friends and family, but if I asked her? Never. We have 3 pictures together, all of which are shitty group photos with her friends. Can’t even tell we were a couple.
Then there’s the big thing that led to our breakup. She wanted me to anticipate her needs without her needing to say them. She hated when I asked how best to help her when she was struggling and overwhelmed, saying that I needed to show initiative. She talked a lot about “mental loads” and such. I tried to support her as much as possible (often doing too much, as many of you said), but sometimes I’d miss the mark. She’d get so frustrated with me, and we’d sit down and talk things out. She’d tell me all of these things she needed from me, and I genuinely put in so much effort trying to work on it.
The only thing that I asked for in return is if I missed the mark, to please guide me to what she needed. I did it all the time for her, she was honestly awful at supporting me. If I was venting, had a bad day, all she’d say was “I’m sorry”, and pat me on the back like a puppy. No effort to dig deeper. No words of support or encouragement. Not even a kiss or a hug. I had to show her how I needed support. I never got mad or frustrated, I recognized this was something we had to communicate about and it was my job to open that communication.
So when we’d have those conversations about how she needed support, and she was asking all of these things of me that felt like mind reading, all I asked of her was to do what I did when she missed the mark. Just that one little thing to save our relationship. It was nothing compared to what she was asking from me, and it was for her own benefit. I put in the work, got us 80% of the way there. I knew I couldn’t bridge the gap on my own. I begged her time and time again. But instead of listening and guiding me to what she needed, she did the exact opposite. Full silent treatment at the very first text of support from me, because she wanted something more/different.
That refusal to compromise ruined everything. I know anger is part of the stages of grief, but I’m just so angry all the time. I know you can’t tell based off of what was said here and in my other post, she is genuinely a great person. She didn’t do any of this maliciously. I don’t believe that she’s evil. But I can’t help but to look at all the work I put in vs all the work that she put in, after being told that I wasn’t doing enough and she was putting more effort into the relationship. Being told that she didn't know me when she didn't seem to put in the effort to know me. Being told that it's my fault we didn't have a plan for the future, when I was always bringing it up and she was always shooting me down. Is this what gaslighting is? None of it makes sense and it's driving me insane.
I don’t even know if I’m more angry at her or myself. Should have I been more proactive? Enforced stronger boundaries? Been more clear in what I needed from her? I don’t know. Maybe I am just a doormat. I just know that I hate feeling like this. I don’t want to be that guy that’s angry and bitter about their ex, and I’m terrified that’s exactly what I’m becoming.

18M I screwed up so bad and all throughout the relationship I let my emotions get in the way and she delt with it , because she loved me. She told me I had to change and that she wouldn’t give me another chance if I screwed up again. Well I screwed up again. I had a whole thing at prom with her because she was spending too much time with her friend (who lives 2 hours away and payed 80 bucks to get there) I felt it should have been our night and I was jealous of her spending so much time with her best friend ( she’s a girl btw). I got angry and yelled at her about it infront of her friend without really thinking. I embarrassed her and I hated myself for it and how I had ruined both our nights on such a special event. I got really low and had an emotional breakdown in the bathroom and I hurt myself. I punched myself a lot and she texted me that she was leaving and that I always do this to her when we’re together with other people trying to have a good time and how I ruined this for her , and she said my negativity was gonna be the end of our relationship. Well a lot of stuff happened and I called her while I was crying and walking in the road and I was so screwed up , she called my mom because she was worried about me. I took an Uber to her house because I wanted to try to fix things and really apologize but I was a mess. She comforted me while I cried on her shoulder until my mom came. She called me drunk at 2 am to break up with me. Basically that convo ended in us deciding to have some space and talk later when she was ready. On Monday she invites me to her house to finally talk , I was so nervous. She does break up with me and it’s so hard for her but she says she’s made up her mind. I’m freaking out and I can’t accept it , I love her so much and I regret my actions and how I treated her so badly . I would do anything to fix things and try again and I was trying to convince her of this stupidly for about 30 minutes or more , I can tell this was really hard for her , we were both crying a lot and kissing and hugging almost the whole time and it was so hard to let go of her. I eventually accepted it after bawling like I never have before. She said maybe we can find each other ther in the future when we’re both better. And honestly those words are the only thing from keeping me from being absolutely miserable and nonfunctional. I finally start to accept the situation and we keep saying kind of our goodbyes but we prolong it. And eventually when we were really close she says “what about we say goodbye some other way, in the bedroom” so we have sex one more time and it’s amazing and sweet and especially romantic. And then I left. This was 4 days ago. We have talked a little in those four days but nothing serious. I’m devastated. I’m trying to change and be better , I’m going to a new therapist in the beginning of June and I’m working on getting job and overall I want to improve on all aspects of my life to be better for myself but also for her. It’s so hard and I don’t know how to deal with the pain. Any advice ?

If you want, you can see my previous very long post about our breakup for more details (this one will also probably be pretty long tbh). Everyone’s comments along with a few therapy sessions made me realize how one sided our relationship was. I’ve been in much longer and more committed relationships than this one, and had much worse breakups all things considered. But I’ve never felt like this. I know that grief isn’t a linear process. It comes in waves. However, I’ve always prided myself on being calm and collected even in the worst of times. I managed to hold it together pretty well when I lost my dad a year and a half ago, and worked through that in a healthy way. Why can’t I do that now? It’s been a month and a half. This should be so much smaller in the grand scheme of things.
I saw her yesterday at the grocery store, we were using self checkouts right next to each other. We ended up basically walking out together. I think she noticed me and just tried to pretend I didn’t exist. I immediately felt sick to my stomach, with this mix of deep sadness and anger. It took everything I had not to fall apart right then and there. I couldn’t eat dinner, and still managed to puke when I got home and then again in the middle of the night after waking up from a dream about us.
A realization that I had after my last post is how little she would compromise on things. A few of you that said that I was a doormat, and you’re right. I somehow let so many things slip that I shouldn’t have. It was her first serious relationship, she wasn’t used to having to compromise much. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She asked so much of me, maybe too much, and I gave to her maybe too freely. But the few times that I asked things of her, she’d almost always say no.
I wanted to watch Home Alone over Christmas. It was a tradition that I shared with my dad, some of my earliest memories are about that. I wanted to continue that tradition and I couldn’t bring myself to do it alone, so I asked her to watch it with me. I explained how important it was. She refused, time after time, every stay at home date we had between Thanksgiving and New Years. She went on rants about how traditions are stupid, and how she hates movies about kids (yet we watched the Harry Potter movies at her request, the first few are made by the same people that made Home Alone). It’s like she didn’t even hear me asking for support when I needed her, she only heard that I was asking her to put up with something she didn’t like for an hour and a half. On the other hand, I never said no to her.
This played out time and time again, in small and big ways. My mom was going to give us the money for our dream vacation to Ireland. All she wanted in return was a nice picture of us in front of something recognizably Irish, a castle or something. She was doing this incredibly nice thing for us, and just asked for that one thing. She just wanted to see me happy, traveling the world with the person I love, after having to give up the last 4 years of my life dealing with my dad’s illness (along with losing all of my grandparents and 2 uncles in the same timeframe) But my ex didn’t like having her picture taken. She would put up with it for friends and family, but if I asked her? Never. We have 3 pictures together, all of which are shitty group photos with her friends. Can’t even tell we were a couple.
Then there’s the big thing that led to our breakup. She wanted me to anticipate her needs without her needing to say them. She hated when I asked how best to help her when she was struggling and overwhelmed, saying that I needed to show initiative. She talked a lot about “mental loads” and such. I tried to support her as much as possible (often doing too much, as many of you said), but sometimes I’d miss the mark. She’d get so frustrated with me, and we’d sit down and talk things out. She’d tell me all of these things she needed from me, and I genuinely put in so much effort trying to work on it.
The only thing that I asked for in return is if I missed the mark, to please guide me to what she needed. I did it all the time for her, she was honestly awful at supporting me. If I was venting, had a bad day, all she’d say was “I’m sorry”, and pat me on the back like a puppy. No effort to dig deeper. No words of support or encouragement. Not even a kiss or a hug. I had to show her how I needed support. I never got mad or frustrated, I recognized this was something we had to communicate about and it was my job to open that communication.
So when we’d have those conversations about how she needed support, and she was asking all of these things of me that felt like mind reading, all I asked of her was to do what I did when she missed the mark. Just that one little thing to save our relationship. It was nothing compared to what she was asking from me, and it was for her own benefit. I put in the work, got us 80% of the way there. I knew I couldn’t bridge the gap on my own. I begged her time and time again. But instead of listening and guiding me to what she needed, she did the exact opposite. Full silent treatment at the very first text of support from me, because she wanted something more/different.
That refusal to compromise ruined everything. I know anger is part of the stages of grief, but I’m just so angry all the time. I know you can’t tell based off of what was said here and in my other post, she is genuinely a great person. She didn’t do any of this maliciously. I don’t believe that she’s evil. But I can’t help but to look at all the work I put in vs all the work that she put in, after being told that I wasn’t doing enough and she was putting more effort into the relationship. Being told that she didn't know me when she didn't seem to put in the effort to know me. Being told that it's my fault we didn't have a plan for the future, when I was always bringing it up and she was always shooting me down. Is this what gaslighting is? None of it makes sense and it's driving me insane.
I don’t even know if I’m more angry at her or myself. Should have I been more proactive? Enforced stronger boundaries? Been more clear in what I needed from her? I don’t know. Maybe I am just a doormat. I just know that I hate feeling like this. I don’t want to be that guy that’s angry and bitter about their ex, and I’m terrified that’s exactly what I’m becoming.

Due to being an only child raised mostly by my bio mom who didn’t allow any emotions, I am an extreme people pleaser. It’s difficult for me to share intimate feelings due to this as well. My bio mom and I are in touch daily because she needs me to talk to her for her own benefit of feeling like a good mom, and it’s mostly not stressful (chatting about recipes and weather and stuff).
My dad has always been much more affectionate with me, but I was never comfortable getting into negative emotions with him either even though I often felt them as a teenager struggling through depression and puberty. He married my step mom when I was young and she’s a little self centered but mostly fine, has always been nice enough to me.
I don’t know if it’s just my people pleasing anxiety, but in my gut I have always been afraid that my dad and step mom hate me. When I see them it’s hugs and laughs and “I love you”. But if I never called I would never hear from them. I am 33 and my dad pretty much stopped calling when I was 18, but every time I call he says “thanks for calling”. They never visit. All contact depends on me which is very stressful for me.
Mother’s Day I usually send a card to my step mom and send her a text. Normally her response is appropriate, “thank you, love you too.” This year her response was just “👍🏼” and said nothing about the card I sent. it sent me into a spiral of “what did I do wrong” “why doesn’t she like me” “it’s because I don’t call or visit enough” etc. and just feeling extremely rejected after putting my feelings out there. I feel like I can’t ask her what she meant by that without sounding selfish or crazy 🤪
Mostly I just needed to vent about this but also wanted to know how you stop the guilt and negative thoughts when you don’t understand why someone has said something, or how to not assume there was ill intent behind the words.

UI Designer and Figma Specialist needed.
Company: Interaction Design Foundation
Remote Worldwide
Full-time
How to apply https://www.uxremotetalent.com/ux-job/ui-designer-and-figma-specialist-2
About You You have many years of hands-on experience with UI design. You excel in advanced visual design skills, including mastery of typographic hierarchy, grid systems, color psychology, and micro-interactions, with an unyielding attention to pixel-perfect details. You are highly skilled in Figma, adept at leveraging its full suite of features such as auto-layout, variant components, and design tokens to create scalable and maintainable design systems. Your problem-solving acumen in visual design is top-tier, skillfully refining UI elements to enhance both user engagement and visual harmony. Your collaborative spirit thrives in multidisciplinary settings, where you synchronize design efforts with engineers, product managers, and content strategists to deliver cohesive user experiences. Your responsibilities will range widely, so you must be adept at dividing broad duties into small, executable tasks and not lose sight of your overall mission. “Getting stuff done” is your middle name. You are results-driven and motivated by achievement and goals. Mediocrity gives you the chills. You know that ideas are worthless without execution, and you instantly get frustrated when people “talk too much and do too little”. You’re a practical idealist. You strive for perfection in everything you do, while understanding the delays that can come with waiting for something to be perfect. You know when to create results through incremental quick wins and MVPs, and when to go all in to create something perfect. You are based within UTC+1 to UTC+5 time zones, which is crucial to ensure optimal collaboration and overlapping working hours. What can we offer? A full-time position, within a fully remote organization. Daily video-based contact with your colleagues from elsewhere on the planet, and you’ll get to meet them on team trips 1–2 times per year. Forget fluffy titles, political agendas and corporate drama. Your colleagues value your character, work ethic, and what you actually achieve. Junior or senior, if you embody old-school virtues of always striving to become the best version of yourself, you'll thrive at the IxDF. Work with a highly scalable impact-driven model where we’ve consistently created more than 50% growth year-on-year since 2013. Bootstrapped with zero investment capital but built purely on consistency over time and the conviction that affordable design education can improve the quality of life of humankind. Work in a company where the distance between idea and execution is minimal. We’re a highly agile organisation with zero bureaucracy or corporate politics – but with a high level of orderliness and efficiency. Have the chance to feel the impact of helping an ever-growing design education brand empower and enrich the lives of millions of people. Work in a company culture where idealism meets high performance and excellence. To help us improve the world (and yourself in the process), you’ll need grit, work ethic, long-term thinking, and self-discipline. Work with people who have a hands-on attitude and a bias toward action rather than fluff-filled, unrealistic strategies. You’ll need crisp execution skills yourself and the ability to impress your colleagues with concrete results, just as they’ll impress you.
How to apply https://www.uxremotetalent.com/ux-job/ui-designer-and-figma-specialist-2

So last year I (23) met this guy (31) at work. At first I wasn’t interested at all nor was I attracted to him (even though he is a very good looking guy) (FYI I would consider myself as very attractive. Since I get a lot of attention and compliments from guys). He chased me at the beginning and I showed no interest at all. But he kept talking to me. One day he asked me for social media (I thought nothing of it) and started texting me. He often told me that I’m beautiful etc. (FYI he is kind of shy even thought he is good looking) He also told me that he asked for my social media, because he was afraid he would never see me again (since he is quitting that job to start a bigger job). So now he is working at his job and I’m still working in that old job. He texted me lesser and lesser but still liked every single of my story. One day I asked him out since I thought he was too shy/nervous to ask me out. He agreed and texted how excited he was to see me. On that day we were to meet up, but he texted me in the morning that he didn’t feel well. I was like okay maybe he really got sick. He also apologised but mind you he didn’t reschedule. So I was kinda pissed. It’s been over 3 month and he still likes my stories. A few month ago, I decided to text him asking how he is doing. He starts flirting and I assume he is still interested. I give him hints to ask me out. He kind of does but when I recommend a date when I have time (it was in that same week we texted) he ignores the message. He then texts me 3 days later that he is struggling with life and works too much. Which I totally understand, but why does he lead me on then (he asked me when I have time that week, then says that he can’t meet). So I text him that why does he flirt when he knows exactly that it won’t work out and gives me false hope. He didn’t respond and I’ve been ghosted for now 2 month. He still likes every single of my story.

1. Why won’t he meet up with me?
2. Is it because he is struggling with life?
3. And if so, does he want me to wait?

Hey, I’d like some help
I’m pretty tired of being the fool and waiting for someone to come back into my life (they never will).
I have uni exams (which I’m probably going to fail too because of this) and I am destroyed by the situation. I’ve lost any motivation I had to get good grades - whilst he’s probably moved on, flirting with other girls (he is) and is feeling better by now (since he was the one to break up with me)
I am seriously struggling with motivation and mental health due to my past which got resurfaced unfairly too
I want all memories gone for good - I feel like an absolute idiot letting this affect me as much as it is.
I am not weak, just extremely fucking tired of my stupid fucking life - I seriously can’t handle it anymore, my life is so pathetic and meaningless (only thing stopping me from committing is that I’m too lazy to do so - PLUS I want to get my degree before doing so anyways if I really have to)
I want to be myself again, but it’s been 2 months and I feel worse and worse and worse Every. Single. Day.
What do I do? Do I block him, do I text him, do I call him? It’s unfair what he has done to me, and I want to let him know (I say this as if I haven’t tried already, I already know it’s useless)
Just, how do I forget about someone forever without banging my head so hard that I lose my memories?
Thanks

Have you ever witnessed the first formation of life? I mean, I've seen my children, I was there for every step of the process if you know what I mean. Hah. But what I'm talking about is from beyond the beginning. The molten slag of a planet forming over millions or even billions of years into a habitable plane. Have you seen, from that very point, chemicals coalescing and reproducing? Amino acids and the forming proteins?
Well today, I found out, when you die in the crypts, you don't see a light in the end of a tunnel. You witness something truly beautiful and pointless.
I watched the birth of life from nothing. Short molecular protein chains. No cell walls, no encasing membranes. If DNA or genetic code of any kind was in their descendant's future, it wasn't present now. I watched it cling to the surface of rock, self-replication fueled by the warm free energy of a sun, millions of generations, hard work, decay, and new growth, only to be destroyed by a crashing wave. The weak hydrogen bonds were broken, as simple as that. The ancestor's hard work gone in a single blink-and-you-miss-it moment. Somehow I knew, wherever this was, that was all the life that planet would ever see until it was swallowed up by its star.
It was a quick fleeting spark. All the dramas and soap operas in the world could have taken place in a single raindrop. A unique potential, unlike any others, this planet's chosen ones, snuffed out before it could evolve to breathe its first breath. Rather grim isn't it? I don't know why I dreamt it, but there it was, a pointless creation followed by an equally pointless destruction. I guess it was a nice commercial break from the missing-arm-induced pain i was suffering. A wonderful hilucination, if a bit mocob.
Anyway, back to my unimaginable blood-curdling, mind-wrenching torture porn session. My eyes were closed a very long time, but when they did open, I was finally where I should be. Horizontal in a hospital bed, surrounded by trained surgeons. That said, it was on an alien world, and the surgeons were not trained in human biology. What's worse, they had no way to dull the pain.
Death would have been a blessing, unfortunately, the doctors were good, in spite of the unknown make, model, and engine size laying before them. 5 hours under an experimental knife, and I think an arc welder, is what it took to reattach my arm and fix my internal organ damage. 5 hours of poking and prodding and searing and stitching and pulling and zapping. All things considered, I am impressed it only took 5 hours. Ted's species was remarkable when it came to taking in new information and applying it in the real world. All their extra brains probably didn't hurt either.
If you remember, Ted's species came equipped with five extremity brains, and a central one. That's three for all three of his legs, two for both of his arms, and one in his central body. Ted would have had six individual minds within him before I found him dead in a ditch beside that interstellar sidewalk. By that point, only one, Ted, had survived.
After my, let's say, unique experience, I was left alone in a dark room to rest. Ted came by to visit. Oh yeah, he had a body now. He wore that "Tall, dark, and extraterrestrial" look well. He was easily 7 feet tall in his real body. Those Ted-fu moves should pack a real punch in a body like that.
"That reminds me. You wanted your fighting moves back, right?" My voice was terribly parched after my morning shouting sessions.
Shouting obscenities at medical proffesionals was about all I could do when Ted's doctors were busy inventing a new form of torture. Seriously, take notes. Good stuff in there.
"Keep them. That isn't going to be my concern here. It's hard to even walk now, let alone fight." He admitted. "I'm used to having secondary brains do all the work. I would only take over when the situation required. Now, I'm all I've got."
"Just another one of us handicap one-brainers," I taunted. "How does it feel to be on my level? Could you say you're just 'too single-minded?"
He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard Ted lower himself to laughing at one of my jokes. It wasn't even a good one. I know I could have come up with something better. Hold on. I- huh... well, I guess the moment has passed.
Instead, I teased him again. "so, you have a sense of humor after all."
"Always have. You just aren't funny." He shot back.
Then it was my turn to laugh at a bad joke.
"Bad idea!" I realized aloud. "Laughing hurts. Don't make me laugh."
There was an awkward silence before Ted finally spoke again. Our whole conversation was full of them.
"You're going back there aren't you?" He asked.
"I have to. I have a family somewhere, and I have to know if they're still alive. Something bad is happening on earth and I just want to be there to protect them."
"I don't think you ever will find out."
"Blunt and to the point today are ya?"
"Always have been. You just never listen. Im serious. I dont think you'll make it home."
There it was again, that quiet that kept creeping back up into our conversation.
"What if you run into Brad again?" He asked. "I won't be there to reboot your brain next time. You will either die or-"
"Don't tell me."
"Or you will suffer greatly, then die." He continued while checking his version of fingernails.
"I told you not to tell me. Now I can choose which option I like better."
"I'm being serious." He shot back at me. "You have no defenses against him."
"I know. I'm hoping he's dead. That's three shots from a Tedidian gun he has taken now."
Neither of us were convinced.
"Tedidian? That's the name you gave my species? I'm honored."
"I'm the first of my kind here, I get the naming privileges."
If our conversation took place over the radio, the host would be mortified. Not by the subject matter, no. The silence would be dubbed "dead air" and the host would desperately clamor for a new topic to keep the dialogue active and dynamic. We didn't have that luxury. I think Ted was sorry he couldn't have done more to help, but he would never admit it. I actually might miss him after all- Nah... Too stuck up his own butt to admit his shortcomings. I dont need a guy like that tagging along.
"Do you- mourn the loss of your secondary minds? Were they separate thinking entities?"
"I mourned their loss eons ago. I have moved on. Now I have to re-remember how to walk and talk and do math equations without them. I will be slower than my academic peers, but I have with me knowledge of the unknowable. That should make up for some of my deficiencies."
Eventually, Ted was ushered out. I needed the rest. The doctors here were good. They had managed to piece together this broken puzzle written with a completely different alphabet, and accelerated my healing a great deal. Not really a surprise, given they could build Ted a whole new body. I was back on my feet in a matter of 2 days, using my arm in 3, and back to 70% at 4. I dont think I'll ever make it back to 100%, but all things considered, this is pretty good.
It's hard to tell how long I have been away from earth, but given this trip was meant to last a very long time, I don't suspect I should miss my flight, so long as I find my portal. As long as I can find Eddy. So long as I can find all of them; Eddy, Rook, James, even Jyong and Me-Yan.
Ted's people had a similar arrangement to earth's at first. When Ted was an explorer, their portal was at the edge of the system, but they brought it down to their planet with rockets and parachutes after he and a few others never came back. The history was fascinating. They were a united planet, far and above the most advanced I have come across so far, but in spite of that, the portal slowly leeched off the planet, and spat out horrors beyond their imagination. What they once used as an interstellar fast travel, quickly turned into a speed bump, then a health hazard. There was a reason the builders set this portal so far away from the planet. It wasn't meant to be here, so Ted's people had to build a wall, with poor old lost Ted on the other side. They closely monitored the other side though, and were shocked to find the brain activity of a Tedidian coming from yours truly. That would be Ted's mind, shoulder to shoulder with mine, in my head if you weren't following along. Then they rescued me from Brad.
Speaking of, I asked around about Brad. Someone shot him, so that someone should know if he survived. I had to know if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Eventually, I asked the right person, who introduced me to my rescuer. He wore a white uniform and carried a big gun, even for Tedidian standards. I was kinda jealous. I like my pew pews, but these things were on another level.
He confidently told me that Brad was indeed "dead." I had Ted translate for me whenever I spoke to a native, but they were quickly learning on their own how to speak Sean-ese. That's the language I told them I speak. Might as well leave a lasting mark. That confidence, however, did not come from a place I liked.
"But did you actually see it dead?" I pressed.
"Nothing survives a plasma arc, even a graze, let alone two." He scoffed. Or I think he scoffed. There is no universal interplanetary sign that someone is scoffing at you. You just have to pick up on subtle undertones of pride, shock, or snood. Ted had lots of snood. Luckily, he broke the mold. The people here were as different as people are on earth. I just happened to get the most insufferable one imaginable. Just my luck.
"Then call this thing 'nobody,' because it survived one before." I suggested.
His eyes widened, glad to see that was an interplanetary sign of surprise. "Th-that isn't possible."
"Oh, but it is." Ted interjected
Oh good, that thing could be waiting for me for all I know. I never thought I'd be scared to be without a Ted in my head, but there I was, terrified. He was right. Without him, I had no defense.
We were walking back to Ted's place when I began replaying the past events in my head. My vision was something I couldn't shake. It was real. I felt like I was one of those chains of self-replicating chemicals. That's almost all they were, chemicals, but they had every marker required to classify life. They even responded to change in the environment. They were short-lived bonded protein chains that consumed, produced waste, even grew by self-replication and bonding.
"Hey Ted," I started. "I wanted to run something by you."
"I'm listening, but let's keep it under 280 characters. I'm not in the mood for a marathon today."
I rolled my eyes. "Glad to see you're back to your old self."
"My old self? I've been trying to get back to that, but every time I open my eyes, there you are."
"Look here Dane Cook, I saw something after the attack. It was on another planet. I think someone is trying to show me something."
"You were also close to Brad at the time, who we know can alter your perception."
"Maybe, but this felt different. The first time he affected my mind, he put me in a dreamlike state. Then he used something familiar to me to disguise himself. This was different. I wasn't me, I was this green amino-acid chain with no protective coating. All I could sense were chemicals, no light, no sound, but I knew what was happening too, like I was watching from the outside at the same time."
Ted learned how to roll his eyes just now from me, and mimicked the action to an exagerated end. "Don't think much about it. Many Tedidians see a light at the end of a tunnel when we are close to death. Perhaps this is just your version."
"Perhaps." One thing is certain, even if it scares me, I would be glad to be without Ted. I almost forgot how annoying he was after our little bonding session.
"But I have a question for you. Who is Dane Cook?"
"My planet's worst comedian. Thats not the point."
The day did come that I had to leave, and Ted, in his usual fashion, refused to say goodbye. Instead, all he would say is "I won't be far behind." Cryptic, right? Like, what is that supposed to mean?
At first, I thought "Great. And right after I thought I got rid of him." But then I thought about it. It would be an interesting cultural slang to say "we will meet again." Does Ted believe in an afterlife?does he think I'll wimp out and come back?
Pointless questions aside, there was some good news. He gave me a new gun. This one made an even bigger "kaboom!" It was really fun. Heh. Haha. Gimme-gimme.
I was happy to see Jim-Bob waiting for me at the portal. I hadn't seen him since I set off that sonic weapon. Their feet are so sensitive to vibrations and sound, that weapon really messed with them. The Tedidian doctors had their work cut out for them fixing 5 listening organs per Jim-Bobidian. Together, all 20 odd Jim-Bobs and I, stepped through the portal to the nightmare world.
Now that I was on this side of the portal, I could see that Brad was gone. Oh boy, what fun. You know what else? I held onto that old piece of alien tech that Ted had his brain shoved into. I thought it would make a neat souvenir. Wouldn't you believe it if as soon as the doors closed behind me, I heard that S.O.B's voice saying "So, where to next?"
Ted copied himself yet again into that stupid thing. Didn't take long to figure out what he meant by "I won't be far behind."
"What the hell, Ted?" I shouted.
"Surprised to hear my voice?" He asked?
"More pissed than surprised. I thought I finally got rid of you."
"Oh stop it, you are happy to see me, admit it."
"I thought you wanted to go home. What happened to me just being a pair of legs?"
"Ah yes, but there's a crucial difference between that Ted and this one. This one is artificial, and doesn't get lonely. I am merely a copy of a personality. That way, when you die, I won't get homesick."
"I smell bullshit," I said.
Surprisingly, he didn't make an astronauts and diapers joke. Instead, he said "Got me. I am an explorer, remember? Even if I was homesick, I still yearn for the other-worldly. My adventuring days are not yet over, and this way, I can never die, unlike someone I know."
"News flash, Ted, you did die, and give me that self-aggrandizing crap you pulled in the beginning, and I'm throwing your immortal ass down the throat of the next giant monster I find."
"My path will remain rectilinear, and true."
"Rectum what now? I thought you only knew words I used in front of you. I don't even know what you said."
"True, but now I have learned how your language works, thus am able to intuit new words. You cannot convince me that was not a word. Go- 'look it up' or whatever when you get back to Earth. It means 'I'll stay on the straight and narrow.'"
"Then why didn't you just say so? You're already teetering on the edge of being too annoying to keep around, buddy." I threatened, but I had to admit, a translator would be nice.
I have to say, the next leg of the journey went on without a hitch. The Jim-Bobs, Ted, and I were making good time. Find a monster, kill it, find a planet, explore it, find another monster, kill it too. I found so many new planets, although most were dead or never had life to begin with. The odd part was, Ted was sure he had visited some before, and interacted with the residents, but there was nothing but rock where I stood.

Have you ever witnessed the first formation of life? I mean, I've seen my children, I was there for every step of the process if you know what I mean. Hah. But what I'm talking about is from beyond the beginning. The molten slag of a planet forming over millions or even billions of years into a habitable plane. Have you seen, from that very point, chemicals coalescing and reproducing? Amino acids and the forming proteins?
Well today, I found out, when you die in the crypts, you don't see a light in the end of a tunnel. You witness something truly beautiful and pointless.
I watched the birth of life from nothing. Short molecular protein chains. No cell walls, no encasing membranes. If DNA or genetic code of any kind was in their descendant's future, it wasn't present now. I watched it cling to the surface of rock, self-replication fueled by the warm free energy of a sun, millions of generations, hard work, decay, and new growth, only to be destroyed by a crashing wave. The weak hydrogen bonds were broken, as simple as that. The ancestor's hard work gone in a single blink-and-you-miss-it moment. Somehow I knew, wherever this was, that was all the life that planet would ever see until it was swallowed up by its star.
It was a quick fleeting spark. All the dramas and soap operas in the world could have taken place in a single raindrop. A unique potential, unlike any others, this planet's chosen ones, snuffed out before it could evolve to breathe its first breath. Rather grim isn't it? I don't know why I dreamt it, but there it was, a pointless creation followed by an equally pointless destruction. I guess it was a nice commercial break from the missing-arm-induced pain i was suffering. A wonderful hilucination, if a bit mocob.
Anyway, back to my unimaginable blood-curdling, mind-wrenching torture porn session. My eyes were closed a very long time, but when they did open, I was finally where I should be. Horizontal in a hospital bed, surrounded by trained surgeons. That said, it was on an alien world, and the surgeons were not trained in human biology. What's worse, they had no way to dull the pain.
Death would have been a blessing, unfortunately, the doctors were good, in spite of the unknown make, model, and engine size laying before them. 5 hours under an experimental knife, and I think an arc welder, is what it took to reattach my arm and fix my internal organ damage. 5 hours of poking and prodding and searing and stitching and pulling and zapping. All things considered, I am impressed it only took 5 hours. Ted's species was remarkable when it came to taking in new information and applying it in the real world. All their extra brains probably didn't hurt either.
If you remember, Ted's species came equipped with five extremity brains, and a central one. That's three for all three of his legs, two for both of his arms, and one in his central body. Ted would have had six individual minds within him before I found him dead in a ditch beside that interstellar sidewalk. By that point, only one, Ted, had survived.
After my, let's say, unique experience, I was left alone in a dark room to rest. Ted came by to visit. Oh yeah, he had a body now. He wore that "Tall, dark, and extraterrestrial" look well. He was easily 7 feet tall in his real body. Those Ted-fu moves should pack a real punch in a body like that.
"That reminds me. You wanted your fighting moves back, right?" My voice was terribly parched after my morning shouting sessions.
Shouting obscenities at medical proffesionals was about all I could do when Ted's doctors were busy inventing a new form of torture. Seriously, take notes. Good stuff in there.
"Keep them. That isn't going to be my concern here. It's hard to even walk now, let alone fight." He admitted. "I'm used to having secondary brains do all the work. I would only take over when the situation required. Now, I'm all I've got."
"Just another one of us handicap one-brainers," I taunted. "How does it feel to be on my level? Could you say you're just 'too single-minded?"
He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard Ted lower himself to laughing at one of my jokes. It wasn't even a good one. I know I could have come up with something better. Hold on. I- huh... well, I guess the moment has passed.
Instead, I teased him again. "so, you have a sense of humor after all."
"Always have. You just aren't funny." He shot back.
Then it was my turn to laugh at a bad joke.
"Bad idea!" I realized aloud. "Laughing hurts. Don't make me laugh."
There was an awkward silence before Ted finally spoke again. Our whole conversation was full of them.
"You're going back there aren't you?" He asked.
"I have to. I have a family somewhere, and I have to know if they're still alive. Something bad is happening on earth and I just want to be there to protect them."
"I don't think you ever will find out."
"Blunt and to the point today are ya?"
"Always have been. You just never listen. Im serious. I dont think you'll make it home."
There it was again, that quiet that kept creeping back up into our conversation.
"What if you run into Brad again?" He asked. "I won't be there to reboot your brain next time. You will either die or-"
"Don't tell me."
"Or you will suffer greatly, then die." He continued while checking his version of fingernails.
"I told you not to tell me. Now I can choose which option I like better."
"I'm being serious." He shot back at me. "You have no defenses against him."
"I know. I'm hoping he's dead. That's three shots from a Tedidian gun he has taken now."
Neither of us were convinced.
"Tedidian? That's the name you gave my species? I'm honored."
"I'm the first of my kind here, I get the naming privileges."
If our conversation took place over the radio, the host would be mortified. Not by the subject matter, no. The silence would be dubbed "dead air" and the host would desperately clamor for a new topic to keep the dialogue active and dynamic. We didn't have that luxury. I think Ted was sorry he couldn't have done more to help, but he would never admit it. I actually might miss him after all- Nah... Too stuck up his own butt to admit his shortcomings. I dont need a guy like that tagging along.
"Do you- mourn the loss of your secondary minds? Were they separate thinking entities?"
"I mourned their loss eons ago. I have moved on. Now I have to re-remember how to walk and talk and do math equations without them. I will be slower than my academic peers, but I have with me knowledge of the unknowable. That should make up for some of my deficiencies."
Eventually, Ted was ushered out. I needed the rest. The doctors here were good. They had managed to piece together this broken puzzle written with a completely different alphabet, and accelerated my healing a great deal. Not really a surprise, given they could build Ted a whole new body. I was back on my feet in a matter of 2 days, using my arm in 3, and back to 70% at 4. I dont think I'll ever make it back to 100%, but all things considered, this is pretty good.
It's hard to tell how long I have been away from earth, but given this trip was meant to last a very long time, I don't suspect I should miss my flight, so long as I find my portal. As long as I can find Eddy. So long as I can find all of them; Eddy, Rook, James, even Jyong and Me-Yan.
Ted's people had a similar arrangement to earth's at first. When Ted was an explorer, their portal was at the edge of the system, but they brought it down to their planet with rockets and parachutes after he and a few others never came back. The history was fascinating. They were a united planet, far and above the most advanced I have come across so far, but in spite of that, the portal slowly leeched off the planet, and spat out horrors beyond their imagination. What they once used as an interstellar fast travel, quickly turned into a speed bump, then a health hazard. There was a reason the builders set this portal so far away from the planet. It wasn't meant to be here, so Ted's people had to build a wall, with poor old lost Ted on the other side. They closely monitored the other side though, and were shocked to find the brain activity of a Tedidian coming from yours truly. That would be Ted's mind, shoulder to shoulder with mine, in my head if you weren't following along. Then they rescued me from Brad.
Speaking of, I asked around about Brad. Someone shot him, so that someone should know if he survived. I had to know if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Eventually, I asked the right person, who introduced me to my rescuer. He wore a white uniform and carried a big gun, even for Tedidian standards. I was kinda jealous. I like my pew pews, but these things were on another level.
He confidently told me that Brad was indeed "dead." I had Ted translate for me whenever I spoke to a native, but they were quickly learning on their own how to speak Sean-ese. That's the language I told them I speak. Might as well leave a lasting mark. That confidence, however, did not come from a place I liked.
"But did you actually see it dead?" I pressed.
"Nothing survives a plasma arc, even a graze, let alone two." He scoffed. Or I think he scoffed. There is no universal interplanetary sign that someone is scoffing at you. You just have to pick up on subtle undertones of pride, shock, or snood. Ted had lots of snood. Luckily, he broke the mold. The people here were as different as people are on earth. I just happened to get the most insufferable one imaginable. Just my luck.
"Then call this thing 'nobody,' because it survived one before." I suggested.
His eyes widened, glad to see that was an interplanetary sign of surprise. "Th-that isn't possible."
"Oh, but it is." Ted interjected
Oh good, that thing could be waiting for me for all I know. I never thought I'd be scared to be without a Ted in my head, but there I was, terrified. He was right. Without him, I had no defense.
We were walking back to Ted's place when I began replaying the past events in my head. My vision was something I couldn't shake. It was real. I felt like I was one of those chains of self-replicating chemicals. That's almost all they were, chemicals, but they had every marker required to classify life. They even responded to change in the environment. They were short-lived bonded protein chains that consumed, produced waste, even grew by self-replication and bonding.
"Hey Ted," I started. "I wanted to run something by you."
"I'm listening, but let's keep it under 280 characters. I'm not in the mood for a marathon today."
I rolled my eyes. "Glad to see you're back to your old self."
"My old self? I've been trying to get back to that, but every time I open my eyes, there you are."
"Look here Dane Cook, I saw something after the attack. It was on another planet. I think someone is trying to show me something."
"You were also close to Brad at the time, who we know can alter your perception."
"Maybe, but this felt different. The first time he affected my mind, he put me in a dreamlike state. Then he used something familiar to me to disguise himself. This was different. I wasn't me, I was this green amino-acid chain with no protective coating. All I could sense were chemicals, no light, no sound, but I knew what was happening too, like I was watching from the outside at the same time."
Ted learned how to roll his eyes just now from me, and mimicked the action to an exagerated end. "Don't think much about it. Many Tedidians see a light at the end of a tunnel when we are close to death. Perhaps this is just your version."
"Perhaps." One thing is certain, even if it scares me, I would be glad to be without Ted. I almost forgot how annoying he was after our little bonding session.
"But I have a question for you. Who is Dane Cook?"
"My planet's worst comedian. Thats not the point."
The day did come that I had to leave, and Ted, in his usual fashion, refused to say goodbye. Instead, all he would say is "I won't be far behind." Cryptic, right? Like, what is that supposed to mean?
At first, I thought "Great. And right after I thought I got rid of him." But then I thought about it. It would be an interesting cultural slang to say "we will meet again." Does Ted believe in an afterlife?does he think I'll wimp out and come back?
Pointless questions aside, there was some good news. He gave me a new gun. This one made an even bigger "kaboom!" It was really fun. Heh. Haha. Gimme-gimme.
I was happy to see Jim-Bob waiting for me at the portal. I hadn't seen him since I set off that sonic weapon. Their feet are so sensitive to vibrations and sound, that weapon really messed with them. The Tedidian doctors had their work cut out for them fixing 5 listening organs per Jim-Bobidian. Together, all 20 odd Jim-Bobs and I, stepped through the portal to the nightmare world.
Now that I was on this side of the portal, I could see that Brad was gone. Oh boy, what fun. You know what else? I held onto that old piece of alien tech that Ted had his brain shoved into. I thought it would make a neat souvenir. Wouldn't you believe it if as soon as the doors closed behind me, I heard that S.O.B's voice saying "So, where to next?"
Ted copied himself yet again into that stupid thing. Didn't take long to figure out what he meant by "I won't be far behind."
"What the hell, Ted?" I shouted.
"Surprised to hear my voice?" He asked?
"More pissed than surprised. I thought I finally got rid of you."
"Oh stop it, you are happy to see me, admit it."
"I thought you wanted to go home. What happened to me just being a pair of legs?"
"Ah yes, but there's a crucial difference between that Ted and this one. This one is artificial, and doesn't get lonely. I am merely a copy of a personality. That way, when you die, I won't get homesick."
"I smell bullshit," I said.
Surprisingly, he didn't make an astronauts and diapers joke. Instead, he said "Got me. I am an explorer, remember? Even if I was homesick, I still yearn for the other-worldly. My adventuring days are not yet over, and this way, I can never die, unlike someone I know."
"News flash, Ted, you did die, and give me that self-aggrandizing crap you pulled in the beginning, and I'm throwing your immortal ass down the throat of the next giant monster I find."
"My path will remain rectilinear, and true."
"Rectum what now? I thought you only knew words I used in front of you. I don't even know what you said."
"True, but now I have learned how your language works, thus am able to intuit new words. You cannot convince me that was not a word. Go- 'look it up' or whatever when you get back to Earth. It means 'I'll stay on the straight and narrow.'"
"Then why didn't you just say so? You're already teetering on the edge of being too annoying to keep around, buddy." I threatened, but I had to admit, a translator would be nice.
I have to say, the next leg of the journey went on without a hitch. The Jim-Bobs, Ted, and I were making good time. Find a monster, kill it, find a planet, explore it, find another monster, kill it too. I found so many new planets, although most were dead or never had life to begin with. The odd part was, Ted was sure he had visited some before, and interacted with the residents, but there was nothing but rock where I stood.

I have been in relationship with this girl for nearly a year; I didn’t initiate it but boy did I fall deep.
I knew I wanted that final gal in my life so I was careful. I’m not sure what made her interested in me and why she waited for months before I said yes. I finally accepted and couldn’t be happier!
She was everything I wanted - Smart, caring, career focussed and best of all, interesting. Someone you’d never get bored of talking to all the time. We’d meet everyday, go on trips together, dates every weekend, late night talks, stayovers, everything was perfect!
She was in it for the long haul, at least thats what she said. She wanted to meet my family and was hinting strongly that I should think about marriage. I remember thinking 6-7 months was quite early, but everyone insisted there’s nothing wrong in it.
Then came the mood swings; I’m not perfect but seemingly innocent mistakes made her mad. I mean MAD! Mad enough that she didn’t want to speak to me for days. “It hurts when your guy doesn’t understand small things” she said. It was painful for me to see her so disturbed, was frustrated to no end that she’d never give me a single chance to explain myself. Days would go by and she’d come back requesting to not talk about what happened.
I played along; after all fights are common in relationships right? So what if she takes days to cool down (as opposed to hours as it was with earlier relationships).
Now comes the possible final straw. She had to move away far due to her personal reasons and settle there; I let her be, for some days. But after not talking for a month (barely chatting even, she didn’t even bother to respond to messages) I started to grow restless. Why would she not consider me important enough to not share what’s happening in her life? 5 mins of texting a day, is it too much to ask?
I reported to her that it has started to bother me; How can you think months of zero contact is normal? How can I mean so little to you?
“I don’t think I can do this. You can’t understand me at all, I don’t think we are compatible” was her response!
I simply said OK, didn’t want to fight. It just hurt too much and anything I’d say would definitely make it worse. So I waited for 2-3 days after which she texted me. Told me to not blame myself and that she was in a bad mood. However, she doesn’t think long distance will work with us.
I simply said that I can work with long distance to which her response was if i’m ok, so is she.
So here I stand; haven’t spoken to her over phone for 2 months now. Barely chat, and if we do, it’s as if we don’t even know each other. Officially we haven’t broken up but I don’t see any signs of relationship being alive either. Kills me everyday.
Perhaps the most frustrating thing is I’m unable to take the hint and move on even if it is as subtle as a sledgehammer hit on your face.

UI Designer and Figma Specialist needed.
Company: Interaction Design Foundation
Remote Worldwide
Full-time
About You You have many years of hands-on experience with UI design. You excel in advanced visual design skills, including mastery of typographic hierarchy, grid systems, color psychology, and micro-interactions, with an unyielding attention to pixel-perfect details. You are highly skilled in Figma, adept at leveraging its full suite of features such as auto-layout, variant components, and design tokens to create scalable and maintainable design systems. Your problem-solving acumen in visual design is top-tier, skillfully refining UI elements to enhance both user engagement and visual harmony. Your collaborative spirit thrives in multidisciplinary settings, where you synchronize design efforts with engineers, product managers, and content strategists to deliver cohesive user experiences. Your responsibilities will range widely, so you must be adept at dividing broad duties into small, executable tasks and not lose sight of your overall mission. “Getting stuff done” is your middle name. You are results-driven and motivated by achievement and goals. Mediocrity gives you the chills. You know that ideas are worthless without execution, and you instantly get frustrated when people “talk too much and do too little”. You’re a practical idealist. You strive for perfection in everything you do, while understanding the delays that can come with waiting for something to be perfect. You know when to create results through incremental quick wins and MVPs, and when to go all in to create something perfect. You are based within UTC+1 to UTC+5 time zones, which is crucial to ensure optimal collaboration and overlapping working hours. What can we offer? A full-time position, within a fully remote organization. Daily video-based contact with your colleagues from elsewhere on the planet, and you’ll get to meet them on team trips 1–2 times per year. Forget fluffy titles, political agendas and corporate drama. Your colleagues value your character, work ethic, and what you actually achieve. Junior or senior, if you embody old-school virtues of always striving to become the best version of yourself, you'll thrive at the IxDF. Work with a highly scalable impact-driven model where we’ve consistently created more than 50% growth year-on-year since 2013. Bootstrapped with zero investment capital but built purely on consistency over time and the conviction that affordable design education can improve the quality of life of humankind. Work in a company where the distance between idea and execution is minimal. We’re a highly agile organisation with zero bureaucracy or corporate politics – but with a high level of orderliness and efficiency. Have the chance to feel the impact of helping an ever-growing design education brand empower and enrich the lives of millions of people. Work in a company culture where idealism meets high performance and excellence. To help us improve the world (and yourself in the process), you’ll need grit, work ethic, long-term thinking, and self-discipline. Work with people who have a hands-on attitude and a bias toward action rather than fluff-filled, unrealistic strategies. You’ll need crisp execution skills yourself and the ability to impress your colleagues with concrete results, just as they’ll impress you.

UI Designer and Figma Specialist needed.
Company: Interaction Design Foundation
Remote Worldwide
Full-time
About You You have many years of hands-on experience with UI design. You excel in advanced visual design skills, including mastery of typographic hierarchy, grid systems, color psychology, and micro-interactions, with an unyielding attention to pixel-perfect details. You are highly skilled in Figma, adept at leveraging its full suite of features such as auto-layout, variant components, and design tokens to create scalable and maintainable design systems. Your problem-solving acumen in visual design is top-tier, skillfully refining UI elements to enhance both user engagement and visual harmony. Your collaborative spirit thrives in multidisciplinary settings, where you synchronize design efforts with engineers, product managers, and content strategists to deliver cohesive user experiences. Your responsibilities will range widely, so you must be adept at dividing broad duties into small, executable tasks and not lose sight of your overall mission. “Getting stuff done” is your middle name. You are results-driven and motivated by achievement and goals. Mediocrity gives you the chills. You know that ideas are worthless without execution, and you instantly get frustrated when people “talk too much and do too little”. You’re a practical idealist. You strive for perfection in everything you do, while understanding the delays that can come with waiting for something to be perfect. You know when to create results through incremental quick wins and MVPs, and when to go all in to create something perfect. You are based within UTC+1 to UTC+5 time zones, which is crucial to ensure optimal collaboration and overlapping working hours. What can we offer? A full-time position, within a fully remote organization. Daily video-based contact with your colleagues from elsewhere on the planet, and you’ll get to meet them on team trips 1–2 times per year. Forget fluffy titles, political agendas and corporate drama. Your colleagues value your character, work ethic, and what you actually achieve. Junior or senior, if you embody old-school virtues of always striving to become the best version of yourself, you'll thrive at the IxDF. Work with a highly scalable impact-driven model where we’ve consistently created more than 50% growth year-on-year since 2013. Bootstrapped with zero investment capital but built purely on consistency over time and the conviction that affordable design education can improve the quality of life of humankind. Work in a company where the distance between idea and execution is minimal. We’re a highly agile organisation with zero bureaucracy or corporate politics – but with a high level of orderliness and efficiency. Have the chance to feel the impact of helping an ever-growing design education brand empower and enrich the lives of millions of people. Work in a company culture where idealism meets high performance and excellence. To help us improve the world (and yourself in the process), you’ll need grit, work ethic, long-term thinking, and self-discipline. Work with people who have a hands-on attitude and a bias toward action rather than fluff-filled, unrealistic strategies. You’ll need crisp execution skills yourself and the ability to impress your colleagues with concrete results, just as they’ll impress you.

Hello so for context, I am a female and my roommate is a female and we have been living together for almost 2 years now. We met each other about a couple years ago while working and hit it off really well and so we decided to move in together, I feel like I’ve overstepped my duties as a roommate and I’m not too sure how to go about explaining that to my roommate. For the past year that we have lived together, I have helped out as much, especially with things that have come up with her car with her job helping out if she needed a little bit more money when he came down to paying the bills and I had never had any problem with it, but recently she lost her job and her car and instead of having a conversation with me to see how I would feel about her using my car and everything she pretty much got the job and is now asking me every day if she can use my car and I’m honestly just tired because I feel like I have a lot of responsibilities and I feel like her family doesn’t help her enough and I am overworking to help out as much as I can as a friend but it’s all too much ! I’m angry at myself because I shouldn’t have been so lenient but also I understand things happen so I didn’t think a whole year later I would still be in this predicament. She’s not in my insurance I have had a car accident by someone using my car and not too long ago she got a parking ticket in my car when she said she wanted to DoorDash but yet went to go to therapy in my car. She paid the ticket off but that stuff right there just don’t sit right with me . I just need some advice how do I approach this it’s long long overdue no one I know would even be allowing it to have gotten to this extent. I literally told her hey I can drop you off and pick you up when I can but she literally decided to text me early this morning 2 hours before her shift to ask to use my car knowing I had to work. The only big thing I’m worried about is the bills.. but i feel like I allowed her to feel as though she doesn’t need to look for help elsewhere I know plenty of people who had to Uber , catch the bus and she has FAMILY.. but yet doesn’t want to use those resources. My anxiety just tells me ok just let her because we have been in multiple situations where she wouldn’t have the money she would wait a whole month then towards the end be like oh I only have 200 dollars so I would try to help her figure it out she’ll give a sob story how no one helps .. she thinks I’m always here to just help when I had my half of the rent and she didn’t and she told me to go donate plasma with her so we can have her half.. like is this even a friend (I told her no) ? I feel so lost and I know it’s going to cause tension because she has anger issues but I really don’t care anymore! I really hope she can figure things out without me I care for my friend but idk I feel like she will Sabotage her paying rent .. and that’s what scares me (because I work from home and I guess I’m the only person to help her so if she can’t go to work she won’t have money and it’ll be my “fault”). She’s not a bad person she just deals with a lot mentally and I try so hard to just get her through things and right now is tough but I can’t keep allowing my sympathy get in the way of me being used.. I feel used i am a parent and the worst I could do is allow anything to happen to my car and I won’t be able to do what is needed . She swears she will pay me back and has never did it.. she had a good paying job spent thousands on wigs while knowing she owed me thousands .. nothing I push that to the side I accidentally paid more for the electric bill she said she will give me that money never heard about it again.. like if I didn’t accidentally pay the whole thing you would’ve had that money because it was due which means she deliberately used her money for herself and decided not to pay me back.. I’m not the HELP . I’m not the savior and provider I’m a ROOMMATE , advice is welcomed

I need to get this off my chest. I can't tell this to anyone irl because I can't disclose my crush to any of my friends, I am still closeted. I am scared to even post this, ugh. I apologise for the length of the post!!
I had my gay sexual awakening a few weeks ago. My crush and I are great friends. Since the day I started talking to them, I was kinda already drawn towards them. I have never had a crush before and I never understood what it meant until it hit my like a ton of bricks. I discovered this new loving selfless side of me, I saw beauty in their every move, every expression, every smile, every eye contact (which naturally scared the hell out of me XD). At first, I was repulsed of what those involuntary thoughts brought. I used to think I was straight. It scared me, not because I was attracted to them, but because of how the society is.
They are an amazing person. We have had hundreds of heart to heart conversations. I told them about my neurodivergence, I told them about so many things, and the efforts in our friendship were reciprocated. They care about me, I care about them.
But these feelings, oh god, these feelings. When I first came to terms with it, I also acknowledged the fact that this is very confusing and nothing can happen between us. I haven't yet made sense of my sexual orientation right now. Further, I have not worked on myself enough to be a good partner to anyone. I knew I had no shot, at least not right now. I am a broken pile of meltdowns in the name of a person, but I am working on it.
But that ray of hope, that flutter in the heart when I see them or when their text pops up on my screen, it gives me SUCH butterflies. The heart wants what it wants, even when my brain knows it can't happen.
And then...one day we were just talking. They revealed that they would never date a person who looks like me. It was nothing rude and it wasn't addressed towards me in any way. It's just that I am not their type. My heart broke, shattered into millions of powdered pieces and sunk down my stomach. They also told me about some other stuff (unrelated to me) that essentially meant that I have remotely no shot of being romantically involved with them. Each time we had these talks, I supported them and helped them out. But it broke my heart. Later, I broke down into tears. They are so oblivious to it all, it is kind of sweet and funny as much as it is sad. But I love seeing them happy, laughing, giggling, having fun. I am fine with it, I am okay keeping this to myself because I don't want to ruin our friendship.
None of it is their fault. We have a great friendship and I would do anything, ANYTHING to not give it up. They have appreciated me in a way no one else ever has, they support my art like none other and they have been there for me when I was in crisis too.
It's just that these are so many intense feelings that I can't even talk to my best friend about. I am not yet ready to come out, I can't out them either. But I feel so lonely when I need to cry about it to my best friend. I can't do the normal agonizing crush stuff with my friends as other people do.

I’m the oldest sister. My older brother was the good one. He did no wrong in my mom’s eyes. He was allowed to have his gf “sleep over”.
Looking back, I snuck out a lot during high school. And I snuck my bf in the house too. When I got stuck outside I would knock on my little sister’s window to open the door. My younger siblings seen me sneak out so many times. But we all had each other’s backs. So I wasn’t worried about them snitching on me.
As they got into high school and having gf/bf. They started doing what I was doing. Texting me to unlock the doors for them. So I pretty much started the trend for my siblings to sneak out or sneak their gf/bf in.
What is that saying…. “Monkey see, Monkey do!” Or is it normal🫣

https://reddit.com/link/1ctg5xa/video/z77timxf8t0d1/player
[Personally recommended topics to search]

• Project Astra
• Starline

[Highlights]

1. Gemini is now supporting 2M tokens

• 2. Project Astra (cell phone real-time multimodal assistant)
• 3. Gemini Flash (cheaper and faster multimodal 1M)
• 4. Veo (video creation)
• 5. 6th generation TPU (Trillium)
• 6. PaliGemma
• 7. Gemma 2
• 8. NotebookLM (aka. Tailwind)
• 9. MusicFX, VideoFX

[Personal Thoughts]

1. Google mentioned "Gemini" more often than "AI" this time.(Sundar Pichai mentioned AI 121 times.)
2. Google is focusing on integrating Gemini Multimodality across all areas, covering both recognition and generation of video, audio, and text.
3. Increasing Gemini's token size seems aimed at detailed personalized info and integrated services. This was clear in Project Astra with real-time Gemini Pro integration and Context Caching, which saves costs and speeds up processing. - Comparing Google’s Gemini and OpenAI’s GPT: - Both have significant multimodal achievements. OpenAI leads in generative capabilities, while Google excels in token range. OpenAI has better API integration, but Google is superior in on-device integration. - OpenAI's massive model has high reasoning abilities, but Google's strategy includes:

3-1. On-device capabilities (Nano in Android OS, circle image search on Samsung phones, PaliGemma). Google’s mobile OS and partnerships give it an edge.
3-2. Workspace (Docs, Sheets, Slides, Email, Photos). Examples include organizing receipts in Drive and Sheets or Google Photos creating albums based on specific moments, showing the large model’s business applications.
3-3. As a search engine company, Google is developing technology to verify data with search engine data to prevent hallucinations, giving it a competitive edge.

1. The realtime capability of the multimodal model was surprising. I used the Project Astra demo; multimodal audio recognition was accurate and real-time, with seamless interrupt handling. The process wasn’t in sync but handled with low latency, showing significant improvements in usability for voice interfaces and multimodal models.
   
2. The main takeaway from this I/O was that multimodal models can be responsive enough for actual products and are currently available.
   
3. Examples were provided of how Gemini can integrate into Chrome, Search, Android Mobile, and Google Workspace to enhance user convenience. ("Here's an example" was a common phrase.) Integrating these elements with multimodal capabilities could significantly change everyday life. I have a Gemini Office Hour with a Googler tomorrow, full of questions about Gemini’s multimodal latency. Until 2 PM during this event, I didn't hear keywords like TensorFlow/Jax, and there was little talk about the Cloud. Vertex AI was mentioned occasionally with Gemini, and the rest was about TPU 6th generation.
   
4. The core question was whether multimodal models could positively impact our lives. Even now, there are no significant use cases beyond chatbots. Who will make this a reality? This has been my interest, and at this I/O, I saw numerous examples. If Google had integrated chat and document apps, we’d spend most of our time with Gemini. For code, it seems to be entering with Project IDX, sharing portions of the IDE.