I will give a lot of context of my situation, but I will try to make it as anonymous as possible (although, based on this, it is really easy to find me...). I won't try to justify, but rather explain the reasoning so you can understand it better. All of this is really embarrassing for me, but I'm so desperate that I feel like I need to tell you everything.
I, M23 non-citizen living in Europe in the process of acquiring citizenship, began my career around the Fall of 2021 as a Software Engineering Intern at a top 3 Password Manager company. I was 20yo at the time. I do not have a CS degree, but I had original personal projects that helped me during interviews. The fact that I failed a subject at school and couldn't join university was the trigger for a depression&anxiety (that had deeper reasons than just school failure) that I was in for over a year, and this new job sparked a joy inside me that I didn't experience during this time.
I was doing really great. After 4-5 months, I was offered a full-time Junior SWE position. I was even discharged from therapy. However, I was also interviewing for other companies as I didn't know if I'd make it into a full-time position. The offer came in as I passed Facebook interviews for a 3-month internship in London (I live in another country). I talked to my manager at the time, and he convinced me that it would be better to stay, as I had concerns about immigration & the fact that it didn't seem like Facebook had a long-term plan for me.
My salary as an intern was 24k€/year, remote. If I were to be full-time, I would be going into 32k€/year, remote.
Two weeks later, I also received feedback from another company, Company 2, B2B Fintech. I passed all the interviews for a remote Junior FE position. The salary was 72,8k€/year, but as a contractor, and I would be joining as an employee if I were to relocate to Paris. I discussed the matter with my parents, friends, and girlfriend, and I decided to take the offer. The company I was working at counter-offered for 45k€, but I didn't take it.
Then shit hit the fan.
Everything at work was fine, but I was going through a lot of stress at home. After roughly 2 months in this new company, I had two traumatic events outside work that put me into my first panic attack. Due to the high expectations I had for myself at this new job, I felt compelled to resign. I made up an excuse at midnight, wrote the resignation letter and sent it to my manager. He understood my situation and I left. I started to attend therapy sessions once more and took different medications as well.
I talked to colleagues at Company 1, and they accepted me back. One month later, I was back at my position, at 45k€. But things were different. I was giving my all, but I wasn't performing as well as I was before. My relationship with my girlfriend was getting worse, things at home were so tense, and responsibilities were piling up. My therapist thought (and she was right) that I was in the process of burnout. Closer to 6 months after my return, I was talking to my peers about taking a break, but I wasn't sure yet... Then the HR said I'd better take a sick leave because my performance was worse than before and this could trigger a PIP. I took the sick leave. 2 weeks weren't enough. The day I returned, I talked to HR again and I was surely going to PIP, so I told them I was not capable of doing more than I was already doing. I was exhausted. I resigned once more.
Two months later, I got another job at Company 3. I couldn't screw this up. 46k€, remote, I just had to go to Paris once a month. On the first day at this new job, I was so focused that I forgot to eat, and just noticed I was starving when my mom knocked on the door at 17h30 asking if I would eat something. I was dedicating 100% of my time to code.
On my first visit to the office, I had a great time, except for an interaction with a colleague that I really liked. He was asking about my story and I told him about my previous experiences. He said: "so you aren't going to leave us after 3 months, are you?". The voice tone was friendly, but I knew the concern was legit.
During my second visit to the office, I ran out of medication, so I was rationing the dose so I could make it until I was back home. I had a side project for a role-playing game, so I changed the whole BE & FE language & frameworks to match the Company 3 stack. I made a linkedin post to tell people I was practicing the stack after work hours on this project. On the next day, HR scheduled a meeting with my manager and asked me if I was founding a company, because that would clash against the non-competing clause in my contract, and that "Company 3 is the only entrepreneurship journey an employee should take".
Looking back, I understand the concern. In my mind, I was only sharing my RPG side project and showing commitment to improving, but they could not read my mind. I tried explaining that to my manager, and he suggested that instead of doing my side project, I could use those hours after work to solve more tasks from work, as my project would not give me any financial return. This whole thing made me feel horrible. I was so unstable due to medication and [sensitive information, trigger] that I thought of killing myself. I just didn't do it because I thought of my family, girlfriend and friends.
When I returned back home, I was worse. After two weeks I resigned, again. I made purchases with a credit card just so I could force myself to find a job to pay it later. My girlfriend also broke up with me, and lost contact with friends, so... I really asked my parents to stay in the hospital for rehab. I couldn't take it anymore. We searched for other therapists and they denied my hospitalization and we began working on my mental health again. They discovered that I have ADHD, alongside other childhood traumas...
After four months, I had an offer for an internship at Company 4. 21,6k€/year, but fully on-site in Paris. I had nothing to lose, so I went there. At the same time, it was my best and worst decision at the same time. It was good because I could prove to myself that I was a little bit stronger than I thought, but...
I began sharing a home with another 10 people (it was complete chaos, with a lot of fights between the people living there), taking 55% of my net salary (1380€/month) just for the rent, adding up to the interest payments I had, food, transportation, etc... I was basically paying to be able to do this internship. I couldn't pay the deposit for cheaper places. I decided I was going back home. I stood there for 6 months and, resigned and returned home.
Since then, I have taken some time to heal. Eventually, I had to stop therapy for some months as my parents had some financial issues (especially as they had to help me financially as well), but this month I will go back to it once more, thankfully. I tried job hunting, but either I couldn't pass the CV screening stage, or I failed during the process.
Right now, I'm doing some freelance for a LATAM client. I think will earn (as I don't have a contract or anything), 320€ a month.
I honestly feel like a kid. I made many mistakes and I feel like I've burnt bridges everywhere. If I weren't in the hustle from day one, I could've paid more attention to my health, to my ex, to my friends, and I wouldn't have made most of the decisions I did. I feel ashamed. I know part of the blame can be justified on the mental health issues I have, but I can't blame everything on it, I have my (the biggest) part of the blame as well.
I would like to have some advice on what to do. How to deal with this job hopping situation I have? My parents have a better financial condition now, so I'm going back to therapy and I'll be able to visit my home country. I have attached my CV, so you can have a look too and give me some advice on it. I also want to join the university next year and restart my social, professional, and academic life.
Thank you for your attention, this was really hard to share and I appreciate your time reading this.
CV: https://imgur.com/JfF4Ddy

I have stalked this sub for a while but never joined until now as I wanted to post about my success story and try and help others. I have tried many strategies to make money in the past but this is the first that has worked for me: the plr affiliate method. (This is a long read so I apologise in advance)
So first things first, what is PLR? I wasn’t sure either until January of this year when I stumbled across a video on YouTube. This is Private Label Rights, this means that essentially you buy the rights to sell something as your own and you keep all of the profits. This can be e-books and courses.
This essentially was a lightbulb switch moment for me. I could get a finished product and sell it as my own and keep all of the profits. I tried creating content myself and created a shopify website and put my finished product ebook in my bio (YouTube any video on how to list a digital product on shopify). I then put the shopify link in my bio, this was not a success and I realised that I would have to think outside the box to make this work.
I had another moment of inspiration, what if I was able to ask social media accounts with an established following to put the link in their bio and I would offer them a percentage of every sale they make (I offered a 50/50 cut). So for the next few days I grinded and sent direct messages and emails to Instagram and tiktok accounts, I mainly targeted accounts with large followings that did not have any links currently in their bio and I have had the greatest success with these accounts. I was able to create the affiliate programme on shopify using a plug called uppromote, there are many videos that explain how to set this up on YouTube.
So why would accounts with large following agree to my proposal despite them supplying all of the following?
The answer is simple, a lot of people have a great ability to create content, but perhaps do not have the business acumen or have the motivation to create a revenue stream themselves. This method provides them a easy solution to this problem.
After a lot of grinding and a lot of messages I had gained clients and five months later I’m at the point where I have 31 affiliates selling my e books and courses in their bio. The total following of these accounts is 8.4 million followers across all platforms - a following I would not have been able to attain myself with my content creation skills.
The numbers, what everyone is here for! This method has generated me $11,000 in profit since January (50% of sales went to affiliates so $22,000 revenue). Things started out slow but are picking up fast, last month has been particularly good, generating me $3,000 in profit from easy and passive income.
Problems and issues I’ve encountered: understandingly so the accounts often want to see the product they are selling before they agree to be an affiliate for the product. I originally had a problem finding high quality products, I am not going to name the website I would recommend for those looking high quality plr on here as I received downvotes last time (I am not going to name it here as I was called a shill the other time I did this haha) but you can send a message to me and I can give you advice on where to look. This website offers a bundle which provides a wide array of high quality finished products that are from all sorts of niches. I have found other plr products that I have purchased to be of bad quality so it is important to find a good website.
I’m sure you are wondering the following question: if you are making money off of this why are you sharing with us? The answer is simple, there are hundreds of thousands of social media accounts with large followings, this method is unsaturated and I figured it could help make someone else’s life a little easier financially.
Why do I recommend this method? 1.) Once established this method is completely passive 2.) You gain exposure to large followings that would take years to build. 3.) relatively low set up costs. The bundle I recommend purchasing is $199 and shopify monthly payments are roughly $50 per month. There are no other costs incurred. 4.) unlimited earnings potential. There’s no ceiling as to what you can earn. The more accounts that agree to become an affiliate for you the more you will make
I hope you enjoyed the read , if you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask them below.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia six years ago. I left school without completing my GCSES and have worked as in carehealthcare assistant roles as that's all I'm qualified for. I currently am studying AAT Level 2 in the evenings which I finish next month and plan to study for my GCSEs Maths, English & Biology along with AAT Level 3 during the evenings starting in September.
The issue is I'm REALLY REALLY struggling financially, due to my fibromyalgia I'm limited in what work I can do but I've applied for sit down jobs such as receptionist but I get nowhere due to having no GCSEs so I'm really considering returning to working as a carehealthcare assistant and if I cause further damage to my body then so be it. I think home carer would be better than working on the wards or in a care home as I'll get a little rest between patients.
I just wanted to know if anyone here with fibromyalgia currently works as a carehealthcare assistant? How has it been for you? Any struggles?

Last year, when my ten year prison "stint" was finally up, and I re-entered society, I encountered some... obstacles.
Obstacles like.. Lack of upward mobility. Prejudices and stigmas. Wages and earnings lower than the general population. Undesirable and oftentimes dangerous jobs. And lack of protection from wrongful termination.
Not to mention, an already tough job market, and the fact that my parole required that I maintain steady employment, or face re-incarceration.
Which is why, when I finally got a job offer, after six months of aggressive job hunting, I jumped at the opportunity, giving absolutely no fucks as to how I was actually making ends meet.
"Ever operate a freight elevator before?" Mr. Winfred, the manager of "The Cornelius" and my new boss, asked me my first day on the job.
"No, sir." I replied honestly, as I ran my fingers along the doors of the antiquated contraption, the only remaining evidence of the recently renovated luxury building's ancient past.
"Normally these old things aren't used for passengers, but the building's pretentious designers thought it might add a certain charm to its otherwise sterile decor. Which is where you come in." He continued, as I heard him slide open the freight elevator's outside doors...
SLAM!
...Followed by its scissored metal inside doors.
SCREEEECH!
I heard Mr. Winfred step inside and, using my cane, scanned the interior of the rather large elevator, which must have been eight feet by eight feet, and followed him in.
Instantly, my nose was hit with an overpowering, musty scent, like the kind you'd smell in a basement, combined with your grandmother's attic.
He then closed both doors behind us.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
"Now this here." Mr Winfred added, taking my hand and placing it on the handle of a lever, "Is how you move the elevator from floor to floor. Up for up. Down for down. You'll hear a click when you reach each floor, which will be helpful for someone like yourself." He said, clearly calling attention to the fact that I'm blind.
Someone like myself? I scoffed internally. You ignorant, entitled piece of shit.
Truth is, I've always had a bit of a short fuse. Which I guess, looking back on it, is what got me into prison in the first place.
But in my ten years of incarceration, I was given tools to combat my anger issues. Tools like reminding myself that it was nothing new. Assholes like him were always dropping unintentional microaggressions. It had been something I'd grown used to, and given my probation, wasn't a battle worth fighting.
"Yes sir." I replied through my teeth, as I begrudgingly swallowed my pride.
"Now, why don't you spend today practicing. Our first residents don't move in until tomorrow."
—
In just a matter of a week or so, as the doors of "The Cornelius" opened to its new tenants, I learned pretty much everything I needed to know about the job.
Said tenants were rich. Very rich. And most of them acted as such. Entitled. Obnoxious. Holier than thou. Especially given my own social class. But a few of them weren't so bad, and tipped well.
Mr. Winfred's assistant, Jane, was a lovely human being. Patient, kind, thoughtful, understanding. Especially when compared to both the building's uptight residents, and Mr. Winfred himself. It had been years since I had dated, and the very thought of meeting a partner stressed me out to no end, but if I was to find someone, I hoped she'd be like Jane.
The elevator didn't open on the basement level. As I'd learned countless times, it was possible to go there, but the doors simply wouldn't open.
The old freight itself was finicky as fuck. Stop the lever one second too early, or one second too late, and when the doors open, you're halfway between a floor. But eventually, I got used to it, to the point where most of the building's tenants assumed the role of freight operator had always been my job. And when you're good at your service job, and do it with a smile on your face, the tips start flowing.
And so, all was well for the first couple weeks on the job...
...A seemingly refreshing return to normalcy, after ten long years...
...Until...
...The disappearances started happening.
—
I was just arriving to work one day, when I heard about the first disappearance.
"Have you seen - I mean, have you been in contact with Elizabeth Davis? From room 401?" Mr. Winfred asked, after correcting himself. Something he did often, which continued to annoy me.
"Um." I replied, unsure of where he was going with the question. "Not since yesterday. She got back from work, and I brought her up to the fourth floor. But come to think of it, I don't think she rode the elevator down this morning. Like she usually does."
"Interesting." My boss replied, before continuing. "She disappeared yesterday."
"Disappeared?" I asked.
"Yeah, husband said she never came home last night."
"Hmm. Well I know for certain that I brought her to the fourth floor. Did you check the hallway surveillance footage?"
"Not yet. Unfortunately the building inspector's in today, and I won't have time until tomorrow. Let's hope she just went somewhere, or got lost. In the meantime, keep an eye out - I mean - just, let me know if you hear of anything suspicious."
"Yes sir," I replied, once again resisting the urge to snap on him, before heading for the elevator, where I started the day's shift.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
That day, I did my best to do as Mr. Winfred had asked, and listened carefully for any signs of mischief.
But the day went on, business as usual and by the end of the day, I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary...
...Except... The only thing of note was a difference in Mr. Lawrence's demeanor. The tenant of room 805, he was a salesman, and acted like one. When I say the man could talk, the man could talk. To a point where whenever he was a passenger in the old freight elevator, despite the long ride from floor one to floor eight, I'd rarely have a chance to get a word in.
But this time... was different. This time, Mr. Lawrence entered the elevator chatting away, just as he always did. But about halfway up, he just... stopped talking. And the thing about my job is, if someone chooses to talk or not talk, it's their decision, and none of my business. So I left him alone, and when we reached the eighth floor, I simply said goodnight. To which, he didn't reply.
Must be going through something. I thought to myself, having been unable to truly get a sense of his composure, without being able to see him, before closing the double doors and heading off to help the next passenger.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
—
Later that night, Mr. Winfred called me into his office, and asked me to take a seat beside his assistant, Jane.
"Mr. Owens. Are you aware of the situation that's going on in the building?" He asked, in an interrogating tone.
"Um... yes, you told me about it yesterday. The disappearance, sir." I replied.
"Disappearances now. Plural." He said sternly.
"But... who else?" I asked.
"Mr. Lawrence."
"What happened to him?"
"Well, to be honest, I was hoping you could tell me. Cause much like Ms.Davis, the last place he was seen was going into your elevator."
"What about the cameras in the hallways?"
"I'm afraid that after reviewing the tapes, after stepping into your elevator, neither Ms. Davis, or Mr Lawrence, ever stepped out."
"But that's... not... possible."
"Mr. Owens. I'm going to give you an opportunity. Is there anything you want to tell me? I know you have a sordid past."
"Mr. Winfred!" Jane interjected, clearly offended by his words, and implications.
"Quiet, Jane." He scolded, before continuing. "Answer the question, Mr. Owens."
I didn't know what to say. I was so shocked, so flustered, by what he was implying, that I simply froze.
"Mr. Owens!" He screamed.
"I... I... don't know!" I cried out, as I heard Jane squirm in her seat. "I'm telling you, the last time I heard from either of them, I took them up to their floors. But I'm-"
"You're what! Blind?"
"Well, yes sir. I don't see what goes on inside the elevator. I just let them on and off."
"Mr. Owens. If they got on your elevator, and never got off, where could they possibly have gone?"
"I... don't... know." I replied, at this point, wanting to grab him by force, demand that he never speak to me that way again, and scream out my innocence. But my next parole appointment was the following week, so once again, all I could do was just bite my tongue.
Mr. Winfred paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and regained his composure.
"Mr. Owens, I could go to the police now. And that would be very bad for someone like you."
Fuck. He's right. I thought to myself, realizing, that if he went to the police, and I was even remotely suspected of what was going on in the building, it was back to prison for me.
"But lucky for you," He continued, "There are things going on in the building that I wouldn't want to bring unwanted attention to. And for that reason, I have decided not to go to the police... yet. But consider this a warning. And know, that I have a repairman coming first thing tomorrow morning to install a security camera inside the freight elevator, so I can see what exactly it is that you're doing in there."
I had know idea how to react to Mr. Winfred's continued accusations. So I simply remained silent.
"Now get out of here and go home! We'll reconvene on this tomorrow." He said dismissively, before Jane walked me out of the room, down the hall, and outside the building, where I planned to return home for the night.
—
Fifteen minutes later, we were at a bar down the street, where Jane apparently frequented.
"But where could they possibly have gone?" I asked her, my hands trembling at both the thought of people disappearing in the elevator, and that it was happening under my watch.
"Thing is," Jane said, as she finished her beer. "There's something you should know about the building."
""The Cornelius"?"
"No, from before it was called that. It used to be a factory of some kind."
"Is that what Mr. Winfred was talking about when he said that there were things going on in the building? That he didn't want to bring unwanted attention to?"
"Well, yes and no. Yes, in a sense, that Mr. Winfred cut some corners, and rather than fully renovate the entire warehouse, he simply walled off entire sections of the old structure. Like the basement."
"And no?"
"No, in a sense, that even Mr. Winfred doesn't know what's really going on in the elevator. Sure, it'd be easy to pin it on you, especially with your criminal record - no offense... but even he knows that it's probably something... else."
"Something else?"
"See, that's where things get hazy. Because no one knows what exactly went on at the factory, before it became "The Cornelius." But rumors have it... it was laboratory of some kind, and some fucked up shit went on inside there."
"Like what?"
"That, my friend. I don't know. But what I do know is... I better be getting to bed."
"Fair enough. Well, thanks for the drink, and the support." I said with a smile, as we made our way out of the bar.
"Yeah, don't let Mr. Winfred get to you. And try not to worry too much."
—
Contrary to Jane's suggestion, that night I worried... a lot. About the disappearances, what might be causing them, whatever may have gone on in the factory, and most importantly, about everything getting pinned on me.
I couldn't fall asleep, tossing and turning in bed as my mind raced. And each time I finally passed out, I'd wake up in a panic attack, my heart pounding, short of breath and in a cold sweat.
But it didn't stop there. The uncomfortable feeling of terror and fear, accompanied by the vibrating sensation of adrenaline pumping through my body, remained well into the next morning, when I stepped back into the elevator, terrified by what might be going on inside there.
Please don't leave me alone in this fucking thing. I thought to myself.
And within a matter of minutes, my prayers were answered.
"How goes it?" The surveillance installation worker called out, his cheery disposition contrary to mine.
"Um... not too bad." I replied, lying through my teeth, as he stepped inside.
But after a minute or two of sharing the elevator with him, my fears lessened and my body relaxed, comforted by the positive conversation, and the metallic, clinking sounds of the installation.
Everything's okay. The doors are open. And he's talking. I thought to myself.
But eventually, the man finished installing the camera, and began wrapping up the job.
"Well, that's it! Camera's all installed and running now." He called out. "Let's just take the elevator for a spin and make sure we don't lose the signal."
"Yes, of course." I replied, before reaching for the double doors...
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
..And moving the lever up.
We started moving.
"Fascinating job, I must say, elevator operator. But I suppose you could say the same for mine."
"Pays the bills." I replied, feigning a chuckle.
If he's here, and he's talking, then I'm safe. I continued to reassure myself.
But a few minutes into our ascent, just like Mr. Lawrence... the man... suddenly stopped talking.
"Alright, looks like it's working fine. We can head back down and-"
SILENCE.
"Hello?" I asked.
But he didn't respond.
Fuck. I thought to myself, realizing that whatever caused Ms. Davis, and Mr. Lawrence, and seemingly now the repairman to disappear, could still be in the elevator with me.
Standing there, shaking, sweat rolling down my brow, I backed myself into the corner of the elevator, as I reached for the lever, pressed it down, and the elevator began to make its descent back to the ground floor.
When I finally reached the lobby...
DING!
I scrambled to open the doors...
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
...And darted out, gasping for air, expecting to find a safe haven.
But instead, all I heard was the sound of Mr. Winfred's voice. "Where is the repairman?"
—
A few minutes later, I was once again sitting in Mr. Winfred's office, next to Jane, this time attempting to explain what had happened.
"...And then he stopped talking! Just like Mr. Lawrence."
"You know what, Mr. Owens. I'm tired of your excuses. And now that we have a working camera in the elevator, it's time to find out what's really going on inside there." He threatened, as I heard him clicking away on his computer, clearly reviewing the footage.
"Please do!" I cried out, "I'm telling you, it's not me."
That's when... Mr. Winfred, and Jane, both went silent.
"Hello?" I called out, unable to see what was really going on. Given the fact that my passengers had recently been going silent, the thought crossed my mind that they too had disappeared, but I could still hear their breathing in the room. Breathing, that sounded like it was increasing rapidly...
...Until they broke the silence.
"Oh... my..." Jane said, struggling to catch her breath.
"That can't be. Let me rewind the tape." Mr. Winfred mumbled, the most scared I had ever heard him.
"What is it?" I asked, as they seemingly played back the video.
I would later find out from Jane that the footage would show myself and the repairman in the elevator, as a slithering, grotesque, humanoid figure, suddenly climbed down from the roof of the elevator, wrapped it's slimy arms around the repairman, then somehow hopped back out of the elevator, and pulled the man up with it. Leaving me standing there, completely unaware of what had just happened.
But in that moment, Mr. Winfred must have realized the... complications associated with reporting such a bizarre phenomenon, and instead decided to finally pin it on me.
"Mr. Owens, you shouldn't have done that!" He cried out.
"Mr. Winfred, what are you talking about?" Jane asked, "You and I just watched the same footage."
That's when I heard him drag a file to his computer's trash and delete it.
CRUNCH.
"Stay out of this, Jane. This man has killed three people in the elevator. I knew I shouldn't have hired an ex con!"
"But sir, I didn't-" I tried to reply, before he interrupted.
"Mr. Owens, I'm picking up the phone, and calling the police. I'd suggest you just stay put."
"But Mr. Winfred, I'm telling you, I didn't do anything!"
"Yes, is this 911? I'm the manager of "The Cornelius" and I'd like to report three murders in my building."
"We'd better go." I heard Jane say, as I felt her place her hand on my shoulder.
"And yes, I have reason to believe the killer is our elevator operator, an ex convict, who is sitting right in front of me."
"Come on, let's go!" Jane screamed, as she tugged at my shirt, I hopped up from my seat, and she led me out of the office, down the hall, and into... of all places... the old freight elevator, as she explained to me what she had seen on the surveillance tape.
—
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
"Take us to the basement!" Jane called out.
"But the basement is walled off." I replied.
"Just do it!" She insisted, before I moved the lever down and the elevator began to move.
I spent the ride catching my breath, until we finally reached the basement level.
DING!
"Now what?" I asked.
But Jane didn't reply.
"Jane?"
Oh fuck. I thought to myself. The monster.
That's when I turned to the center of the freight elevator, where Jane had been standing, reached out into the unknown...
...And sure enough, felt the cold, slimy, skin of the creature, wrapped around Jane's face, preventing her from making a sound.
Not knowing what else to do, I gripped its disgusting appendages with both hands, and slowly pried it off Jane, as she let out a...
...SCREAM..
...And the monster's arm quickly slithered away, back up through the roof of the freight.
Jane dropped to the ground, coughing violently.
"You okay?" I asked her.
But rather than responding, she simply handed me something...
....I opened my fist, to find a pair of keys.
"The lock above the lever. Unlock it." She instructed, still coughing, as I felt around the lever, found the lock, inserted the key, and unlocked it.
CLICK.
"The doors. They should open now." Jane said, as she stood up, having finally caught her breath.
SCREEEECH!
SLAM!
—
We arrived in the dark basement to smell the same, musty odor from the freight elevator.
After her eyes adjusted and she scanned our surroundings, Jane informed me that this floor looked nothing like the other eight, newly renovated floors, with their modern feel and minimalistic designs.
Instead, the basement was a window into the building's former self, when it had been a factory. Its walls brick and crumbling, its floors concrete and cracked.
And scattered everywhere, were the dusty remnants of laboratory equipment. Devices, machines, tanks, most of which were destroyed, or disconnected, or both.
"What went on down here?" I asked.
"From the looks of it, something inhumane," Jane said, after she picked up a few tattered pieces of paper from one of the lab stations, and told me what was on it.
"The first page looks like some sort of a diagram, of a man being pumped with chemicals from tanks. And the second, a drawing... of the creature from the elevator. In pencil beside it, someone appears to have labeled it "The Silencer.""
Silencer. I thought to myself, before remembering that the creature seemed to always silence the sounds of its victims, and to have been repulsed by Jane's scream. At the same time, it had never bothered me in the elevator, as I tended to stand there in silence.
But before I could dwell too much on the thought, Jane interrupted.
"If you don't mind my asking. What did you go to prison for in the first place?" She asked.
"It's okay," I said, surprised she had waited this long to ask, before contemplating the best way to explain what had happened. "’Cause of my temper. Some guy was being a dick on the train platform. We got into a scuffle, and he accidentally fell into the tracks."
"Over what? Did he insult you? Your blindness?"
"No, I'm afraid not." I replied, "We were drunk... and arguing over... a basketball game, of all things. He was... my friend."
"Oh my God. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay."
Jane put her hand on my shoulder, and we stood there in silence for a moment...
...Until suddenly, we heard the sound of Mr. Winfred, and the police approaching, as they ran down what must have been a hidden set of stairs from the ground level to the basement.
"Come on, follow me!" Jane called out, as she took me by the hand and led me into what I'd soon discover was a labyrinthian network of old passages, while the police and Mr. Winfred both called out to us.
"This is the police! Put your hands on your head, and turn yourself in!"
"You're trapped, Mr. Owens! Just confess your crimes, and you'll simply go back to jail!"
We continued to run deeper and deeper into the passages, as our pursuers began to close in on us, their footsteps getting closer... and closer... and closer...
...Until suddenly, the sound of their footsteps was replaced by that of...
...SCREAMING...
...And they suddenly went...
...SILENT.
"What the?" Jane whispered.
"The creature." I whispered. "It must be down here."
That's when we hatched a plan.
—
Having found our way out of the labyrinth and back to the entrance of the laboratory, where we had arrived in the old freight elevator, I found myself standing alone, waiting, as I nervously tapped my cane on the basement floor, Jane having gone off on her own.
That's when I heard Mr. Winfred emerge from the passages, alone, and call out to me.
"Mr. Owens! There's nowhere to run! Even your beloved elevator is gone. You're cornered." He taunted, as I backed towards the elevator and tapped at it with my cane, its doors open, its shaft empty.
"What did you say?" I asked, encouraging him to talk louder.
"What are you, deaf now too?" The ignorant old man snapped back. "I said, you have nowhere to run!"
"I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me," I said sarcastically, pointing to my ears. "Can you repeat that again?"
That's when Mr. Winfred began approaching and screamed, "You worthless, ex con! I knew I shouldn't have hired you in the first place! And now, you'll go back to where you belong!"
But suddenly...
...Mr. Winfred went SILENT...
...As the creature must have wrapped its slimy tentacles around his face.
That's when I seized the opportunity, ran over to Mr. Winfred, gripped the cold body of the creature, which was indeed wrapped around him, turned, and flung them both behind me, into the hollow elevator shaft...
SLAM!
...Before hitting the "Up" button on the wall, and calling the freight elevator down.
Suddenly, the gears of the elevator above could be heard turning away, and the machine began its quick descent down.
"Mr. Owens, no!" Mr. Winfred cried out, clearly now separated from the creature.
I froze for a moment, as my mind raced back to the night of the tragic accident, when my friend called out to me from the train tracks, and I was unable to save him in time...
....Until I eventually snapped myself out of it, and willed myself to save Mr. Winfred, no matter how evil the asshole's intentions may have been, reaching out my hand out, and pulling him up and out of the elevator, just as the freight car came crash down to the basement level.
SLAM!
CRUNCH!
"RAAAAAAAARRRRR!" The slimy beast cried out, as it was crushed under the old elevator's weight.
DING!
The basement fell SILENT for a moment, until...
SCREEEECH!
SLAM!
...Jane stepped out and said, "Going up?"
But the joke was met was silence. I simply stood there, shaking, as Mr. Winfred did the same, clearly shocked by the events that had just occurred.
—
A few weeks later, after the authorities had done a full sweep of the basement, and cleared out all traces of the building' old laboratory, I found myself once again back in the manager's office.
"Mr. Owens. This is the last time I'm gonna tell you this!" Jane joked, as I heard her recline back in what was once Mr. Winfred's chair, having been named interim manager since her boss's recent and... ironic... prison sentencing.
"Who's the convict now?" I said with a smile, before making my way out of the office.
"Wait." Jane said, stopping me at the door. "You sure you want to go back to operating the elevator? After all that's happened? Like I said, the doorman job is yours if you want it."
"What's the worst that could happen?" I replied with a smile. "There's another one of those creatures in the building somewhere?"

What business to start as a junior developer?
Okay guys, i hope you’ll be nice and wont make fun of me because i have business goals to one day have my own agency/company even though I am a beginner!
I just started my first job, i only have 3 months of work experience (im 22) and i work with .Net and Angular as a full stack dev, having my own company, managing people, clients, finances, dealing w sales and marketing teams has been a dream of mine since i was 15!
I would try and get into any kind of business not just in the IT industry, but since i am already in this industry and just starting out, i was thinking about starting freelancing while im working at my job, the plan would be to make freelancing a full time job and eventually hire more people to work with me and build it into a small company! This is a big dream of mine but also i wanna hear your thoughts and insights if youre a more experienced dev or someone who also has started and is running their own IT business, i would start an IT consulting company, whatever!
I already started freelancing 5 months ago and so far ive had 5 clients (all with wordpress and nothing related to the stack i work with on the job) and im planning to continue working at the job and freelancing, i wanna learn more about wordpress and eventually learn php (because of wordpress) and learn React (im guessing it wont be ad hard as it was learning angular for the first time lol)
But i wanna hear your opinions and thoughts, i know a lot of you are laughing at me right now because i have so little experience which barely counts as experience, like 3 months is nothing!
What other businesses could i start? I mentioned freelancing and building it into an agency or a company but im open to opinions, suggestions, advice etc.. Should i be only focusing on work now and not business? Is it bad that i wanna learn wordpress and php 6 months from now (because ill be finishing college in 6 months) while also working as a beginner with .Net and Angular?
Hope i get actual valid criticism, advice and others people experience with business instrad of getting laughed at by my goals and plans with so little experience 😅

hihi, using a throwaway account so no one will discover my identity but yes.
i have been in a fs with a guy for about 2 weeks now, he has been really nice to me and i really appreciate it etc etc. however, there have been a few times where i was actually thinking if he has feelings for me.
for context, because he is currently in the process of training himself to take over his dad’s business, he has been super duper busy with his own life, like literally he can only have his own alone time after like 9-10pm. but even though he has been this busy, whenever i ask him out for like a talk or something, he would always be down for it and never once complained about it.
there was one time we went out midnight, had a night drive out and spent the entire night talking about our lives and family till like 6am despite the fact that he was working till 10pm the previous day. he would sacrifice his sleep for me etc etc, he would constantly drop random questions like do i cook or if i have plans to get a bto as well. he would also tell me how theres girls constantly hitting him up outside of class hours to go to the gym and how he rejected them constantly. He would even tell me how theres this female friend of his that wants to get into the same course and major as him, and how he doesn’t like her romantically etc etc so he wants to cut her off. after every outing, he would also give me a peck on the lips.
but despite all of these, he kept reminding me not to fall for him because he says that he would reject girls that confess to him first and distance himself from them. what does this mean? im really confused and how should i react?
thank you!!

What business to start as a junior developer?
Okay guys, i hope you’ll be nice and wont make fun of me because i have business goals to one day have my own agency/company even though I am a beginner!
I just started my first job, i only have 3 months of work experience (im 22) and i work with .Net and Angular as a full stack dev, having my own company, managing people, clients, finances, dealing w sales and marketing teams has been a dream of mine since i was 15!
I would try and get into any kind of business not just in the IT industry, but since i am already in this industry and just starting out, i was thinking about starting freelancing while im working at my job, the plan would be to make freelancing a full time job and eventually hire more people to work with me and build it into a small company! This is a big dream of mine but also i wanna hear your thoughts and insights if youre a more experienced dev or someone who also has started and is running their own IT business, i would start an IT consulting company, whatever!
I already started freelancing 5 months ago and so far ive had 5 clients (all with wordpress and nothing related to the stack i work with on the job) and im planning to continue working at the job and freelancing, i wanna learn more about wordpress and eventually learn php (because of wordpress) and learn React (im guessing it wont be ad hard as it was learning angular for the first time lol)
But i wanna hear your opinions and thoughts, i know a lot of you are laughing at me right now because i have so little experience which barely counts as experience, like 3 months is nothing!
What other businesses could i start? I mentioned freelancing and building it into an agency or a company but im open to opinions, suggestions, advice etc.. Should i be only focusing on work now and not business? Is it bad that i wanna learn wordpress and php 6 months from now (because ill be finishing college in 6 months) while also working as a beginner with .Net and Angular?
Hope i get actual valid criticism, advice and others people experience with business instrad of getting laughed at by my goals and plans with so little experience 😅

Came to US because we were broke back home. When my parente came, they had $2,000 which was used for rent. So essentially $0 hence reason why they had to start working 2 days after they landed in US while still having a jetlag. I was 14years old at that time.
Fastforward, Now I am 39Y/M, 3 young kids and housewife. Always had 2 jobs or more ever since I started working after college.
My parents and I always lived below the means and I started investing in real estate to help prepare for their retirement. And here is the stat.
4 properties and 7 doors: generating cash flow of $1500/months after covering all mortgages including primary residence. Equities: 1.2 millions
403b: 220k
Roth: 22k
Cash: 80k
Taxbale Brokerage: $976k (generating $5,300 / month dividends)
2 cars: 40k
Still working 2 jobs and save/invest $10,000/month after all expenses.
I am slowly letting myself to put some pressure off the gas pedal to slow down and learn to enjoy the life with my family. Ever since I got to this country, its alsways been survival mode, I was so focused on savings because I lived through poverty and know what its like to be rock bottom. Now that I know my parents retirement plan is taken care, I also realize "time" is one of the most valuable things especially if you have young children.
All I am saying is... you can't have it all. If you want to get something, then you have to give up something. To me, that was my time theough out 20s and 30s. But I know I can slow down a little and look forward to my 45th birthday to see if I can give myself that "financial indepndence" as a present.

After years of hard work and studying, I’ve finally reached a point where I feel somewhat financially stable and not on survival mode anymore. While this is a huge relief, I’m now facing a different kind of challenge. I’ve realized that financial stability alone doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness or fulfillment.
I’m curious to hear from those who have been in a similar position. How did you find purpose and meaning in your life after reaching a basic level of financial stability? What activities, habits, or mindsets helped you live a more fulfilling life? Any advice on how to balance enjoying the present with planning for the future?
Thanks in advance for your insights!

We are looking for active EMS that are dedicated and wish to have fun. We have big plans with this department like a search and rescue team and fire department. Do you wish to be a paramedic or in the future a badass fire fighter? We are the city for you!
Let me tell you more about our city as well :)
Hey! We are Paramount Roleplay and we would love to have you join our community and explore a newish city that is rapidly growing!
With our active staff and friendly community even newcomers feel welcomed and learn the ways of roleplay in FiveM. I have written a few things down to show you the city and what we have in store but do not forget that with us growing each day things are being added frequently so the best way to know what our city is is to pop in and check our city out.
Join us: https://discord.gg/paramountrp
Whitelisted Jobs 🚑🚓

• EMS (FD/SAR planned with more positions filled)
• LSPD
• more coming as the community grows. (SAFR and DOJ are coming)

Civilian Jobs 📋

• Trucking
• Electrician
• Delivery
• Butcher
• Construction
• and more to come!

Player Owned Businesses 🚚

• PDM
• LSC
• Rex's Diner
• Lux
• Bahama Mamas
• Koi
• Burger Shot and more!

Criminal Activities ��

• Drugs
• Heists
• Robberies
• Gangs and MCs (positions open)
• Black Market
• Boosting and more!

Things you might love about our city:

• Staff often hold events to entertain us and keep the city alive (Storage Wars, Races etc.)
• Custom Cars and Bikes
• Housing that is available to decorate and more!

Me (19F) dated recently a guy for 7 months (22M) that is undoubtedly the worst person I’ve ever met. It took me a lot of time to notice his true colours as he was wearing a mask the whole time. Here are a few of the most alarming things he has done. As we went no contact, I rethink them, thinking what I went through
Extremely focused on his physical appearance. He always needs to look neat in an obsessive way and overthinks that everyone will constantly look at him.
Very stubborn and hateful of others. Usually expresses openly his dislike for others and gets frustrated when his friends don’t agree with him
Extremely judgmental about everyone but himself. Does a lot of problematic things and justifies it by saying “it’s wrong only if you get caught”
When we were planning to go on a trip, I suggested telling 2 female friends of mine to come and stay on different rooms or even hotels. He got mad and said that I don’t care about him and I just want to go on vacations and have fun, that this is a special moment of only the two of us and that if I love my friends that much I could go only with them and have a threesome.
He had a childhood female best friend. They used to fight a lot and they went no contact and got back together like 3 times. This girl has a very problematic mother, they have an unstable relationship. Her mother gets along with him, they continue to hang around until now. The final time they had an argument and went no contact, he started criticising her a lot to her mother and telling things about her that he knew her mother wouldn’t like. He ruined their relationship even more. At some point he told me “I have a strong urge to tell her that even her own mother loves me more than her”.
In every job he gets, at first he makes a great impression, he is happy with it and after a while he starts to hate the job and everyone there until he quits. In one of him summer jobs, a colleague had an attitude with him and he got mad and criticised him heavily to one of the highest managers (with is a friend of his uncle). Then he got him on a lot of trouble and damaged his reputation.
In another job, the manager didn’t like him and used to criticise him instead of always praising him as he expected. At some point he got so triggered That he took off his apron and threw it at him in the middle of the shift and demanded to give him the paper for quitting right then (it was a very busy time).
In another job, he used to steal from the cash desk and re print old checks.
He went through my phone without letting me know. Then he saw a text of a male friend that he considered too friendly and stared a huge argument. When I told him that him looking through my phone was bad, he said “it’s not my fault you have such an easy password I saw one time and could memorise it, anyone could have access to your phone with a password like that”. When I asked him to look through this phone he literally hide it and change password
Everytime he spends his money, he visit his family members, complaining about his life in order to make them feel pity for him to give him money. Then he disappears until he turns broke again
He used to have a fake profile in order to stalk his old group of friends and go to the places they visited to bully them.
When meeting new people, he literally puts on a mask and over tries to appear like the best person, until time passes and his true self comes out
He was trying to convince me that my parents and brother have a manipulative attitude towards me and that I have to be more independent to not feed their ego by submitting to them
He used to call me terrible names when we ere having argument (like wh*re, the c word ect). When i comforted him, he was saying “I didn’t call you like that, I was saying that your particular behaviour was a behaviour of someone like that. If I thought you are like that I wouldn’t even bother explaining you what you do wrong.”

We are looking for active EMS that are dedicated and wish to have fun. We have big plans with this department like a search and rescue team and fire department. Do you wish to be a paramedic or in the future a badass fire fighter? We are the city for you!
Let me tell you more about our city as well :)
Hey! We are Paramount Roleplay and we would love to have you join our community and explore a newish city that is rapidly growing!
With our active staff and friendly community even newcomers feel welcomed and learn the ways of roleplay in FiveM. I have written a few things down to show you the city and what we have in store but do not forget that with us growing each day things are being added frequently so the best way to know what our city is is to pop in and check our city out.
Join us: https://discord.gg/paramountrp
Whitelisted Jobs 🚑🚓

• EMS (FD/SAR planned with more positions filled)
• LSPD
• more coming as the community grows. (SAFR and DOJ are coming)

Civilian Jobs 📋

• Trucking
• Electrician
• Delivery
• Butcher
• Construction
• and more to come!

Player Owned Businesses 🚚

• PDM
• LSC
• Rex's Diner
• Lux
• Bahama Mamas
• Koi
• Burger Shot and more!

Criminal Activities ��

• Drugs
• Heists
• Robberies
• Gangs and MCs (positions open)
• Black Market
• Boosting and more!

Things you might love about our city:

• Staff often hold events to entertain us and keep the city alive (Storage Wars, Races etc.)
• Custom Cars and Bikes
• Housing that is available to decorate and more!

I am 32 and ive dealt with neglect since the day I was born. my older brother has always been the golden child. Long story short, my older brother is no where near stable in life as I am so...boy were they all wrong. they always believed that I would be a "fuck-up" like my dad was since as long as I can remember. ive been living alone since 20 and I practically raised myself with no help from anyone. even before I moved out, I had to raise myself. the reason why I am very independent.
in september, my uncle is flying from Canada to Los Angeles to meet up with my mom, brother, nephews. I have no emotional connection with ANY of them and I feel uncomfortable every time I have to force myself to even meet up with them. mind you, I havent seen or spoke to my brother in about 10 years. my mom and I are in bad terms. havent seen/spoke to uncle in about 5 years.
I live in another state in vegas and my plan is to say that im busy working which I will be. what would you guys do?
and im sure my mom is over there talking nothing but shit about me trying to make me the bad person when in reality, I have done nothing at all to deserve that type of treatment. I am not a criminal, not a thug, nothing of that sort. I am a combat veteran, a ft ups driver who makes $100k+/year (and still manages to work 2 jobs on top of my ft), a colleg graduate with a 2-yr aa degree, but to her, ill always be labeled as a no-good son.

Gm Prom Community!
It’s Savage a.k.a. CakeKeepers, your fellow Prom community degen and current top competitor on the Prom Zealy leaderboard with 230K+ points!
I've been actively involved in the Prom ecosystem for a long time, engaging in testnet missions, and staying involved in our amazing community.
Today, I’m here to share some tips and tricks on how you can excel in Prom Zealy and become an integral part of the Prom ecosystem.
Let’s dive in!
First things first, Understanding Prom Zealy and Its Importance:
Prom Zealy is our interactive questboard where you can participate in various tasks, earn points, and climb the leaderboard. It’s a fun and rewarding way to engage with Prom and make a real impact.
The Value of Prom’s Zealy Tasks?
The campaign has been successful because many frens are completing these social-based tasks and spreading the word about Prom.
Here’s what you should do:

• Earn Enough Points! After the campaign, aim to become a member of the validators or delegators, and be a part of our growing, engaging community. Consistency is key here.
  
• Be Active! Contribute, produce content, gain visibility and credibility within the community, and make your social presence more active. Let everyone know about you and your value.
  
• Help the Ecosystem! Assist new frens in the community by actively participating in quests and missions. Become a community leader!
  

Create a Solid Profile on Your Socials:

• Set your profile up. Use a clear profile picture and write a short but detailed bio to stand out and be recognized for your efforts. If you’re known in the community, maintain your profile identity and awareness.
  
• Always stay updated! Regularly check community channels, Twitter announcements, and all updates. Stay ahead of the curve and digest everything from your community.
  
• Explore quests daily! Get familiar with different types of quests available,social tasks, testnet missions, image creation, article topics, etc. These are the tasks that might make you learn new stuff about any new partners or tech base.
  
• Choose your strength wisely! If you can’t do everything, pick topics you like and have digested, and choose quests that align with your strengths. If you're good at social media, focus on those tasks. Love tech? Dive into the testnet missions. Are you great at narratives? Jump into deep dive creations.
  
• Use multiple channels! Never use just one channel to spread your content. Be active as much as you can on all social media. One is never enough.
  

Get Prepared Before You Start:

• Keep yourself updated daily with the latest news, community chats, and conversations. If there are any new tasks, campaigns, happenings or events, always read the conversations first and jump into the quest details carefully. Understand what’s required before you begin to avoid retracing points you lost.
  
• Use documentation tools to become better. Utilize your phone’s note app, or your favorite document creation tools like Notion or Google Docs for automation and note-taking. Keep all resources in your stash; you might need them later. Never create or try to produce something that you might already have in your case.
  

Execute Like a Pro:

• Break it down first! Tackle tasks in smaller steps. For example, if you need to create a social media post, plan your content, create visuals, and schedule your posts. Use automation tools if you’re not available to post manually. Make your twitter posts your drafts for you while you have other tasks in your daily life. Never miss a shot.
  
• Avoid rushing. Double-check your work to avoid mistakes or missing out on rewards. Always be prepared and have a plan.
  
• Provide clear evidence On Zealy for your completed tasks. Use crystal clear screenshots, links, detailed descriptions if required. Remember, while you might submit 8-9 contents, Prom Admins review thousands of tasks, so make your content and sources crystal clear.
  
• If you don’t get feedback or rewards, politely follow up. Sometimes a little nudge helps in getting your work reviewed. Take feedback, evaluate it, and improve your work.
  

Excelling in Testnet Missions:
What is the Importance of Testnet?
Testnet missions are crucial for testing new features and providing feedback to prevent major errors or bugs on the mainnet. Nobody wants to see any problems on any network’s mainnet. So be sure that you are indeed active on this side.

• Ensure you have the necessary wallet application, correct RPC, and testnet tokens. Get your daily faucet tokens regularly.
  
• Engage with all testnet features, try to find bugs, and provide constructive feedback. Avoid vague reports like “ADMIN I CAN’T GET MY TXN DONE, HAAAAALP!” This is not cool or beneficial for anyone.
  
• Document everything! Keep a detailed record of what you did and any issues you encountered. Provide screenshots, transaction hashes, wallet addresses, and clearly explained steps about what you tried to do, and what you got with it!
  

Share your knowledge with others!
Write tutorials or guides from your experiences. Include clear instructions and screenshots. Mentor newcomers and answer their questions. Respect each other and be nice to all. There is no stupid questions.
Leveraging Community Resources:

• Join each of the official channels, be active on Prom’s Discord, Telegram, Medium, and Twitter. These platforms are invaluable for updates, support, and community interaction.
  
• Participate in discussions, ask questions, and share your experience. The more you engage, the more you learn and grow, and help others do the same.
  
• Always listen and share! Experienced members might share valuable tips. Listen to them and apply their advice -Not the financial ones-. Share your experiences to help others and strengthen the community.
  

Maximizing Rewards and Building Reputation:

• Understand the system and the campaigns, know how the points and rewards system works and what are the validators and delegators in Prom ecosystem. Aim for high-reward quests and bonus opportunities. Dedicate yourself to each task and try to complete them daily.
  
• Build a reputation for yourself! Consistently complete tasks, provide valuable feedback, and help others. This builds your reputation and earns you respect.
  
• Adapt and grow all together! If you face challenges like not having enough friends for Discord invites, focus on growing your socials and completing other tasks efficiently or focus on article and guide creations which fits on many tasks on Prom Zealy.
  
• Always participate actively! Mentor others and share your knowledge. Leadership roles often come with additional perks and recognition.
  

So, the conclusion:
Becoming a top competitor on Prom Zealy and a leading community member involves active participation, being dedicated and consistent, strategic quest completion, and continuous learning and sharing. Not only completing some simple tasks daily.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Every contribution helps build a better Prom ecosystem!
That’s it from me, Savage. Keep pushing folks, stay engaged, and let’s continue to make the Prom community stronger together!

I have recently evolved my beliefs in the last 5-6 years where I no longer consider myself religious, in regards to religious beliefs while also just considering myself spiritual.
I do not follow a title of what I am or anything, but believe in my soul that it's important to do meaningful celebrations and traditions that align with my lifestyle, values, personal beliefs in order to honor my personhood and a healthy balance of ensuring I don't self-abandon myself.
I don't want to put myself into a box ever again, so I just focus on being intuned with myself.
I now think that life is just way too short to do stuff just because that's how you were raised or was taught to do.
I've overcome a lot of religious abuse as well as the mindset in which I was raised and that of my origin family. Some of my most traumatic life experiences happened on the account of my 'upbringing', the beliefs I was raised to believe, a result of religious abuse and generational trauma, where those dogmatic scriptures, beliefs and texts led me to continually go down roads that did not protect me for the simple fact that they pushed 'self-sacrifice' and 'religious-pleasing lifestyles' that do not compliment, protect, and support positive outcomes for women, and sometimes children. I was taught to just do it because that's what the religion inspires, or what the social constructs say to do.
It did not help that I just didn't know any better-I've let go the regret of this innocent ignorance and grief that it initially brought on. Looking back, I cringe at the decisions, choices, and 'enduring' I had survived from that awful upbringing-I now recognize that as, the 'hidden abuse' for a good internal family image-that I too was not aware of until recently, and just the disgusting dysfunctional family dynamic that has revealed itself since I've started to slash those generational curses.
I was abused by one parent growing up by the way, and told the other who did nothing but 'took ME to my extended family's church'. They never stopped it, protected me or stood up for me. Now, much later in adulthood I'm realizing that both of them were abusive, just in different ways and I understand my psycho-emotional disconnect from them and my origin family in general because I spoke up when it happened, even later in early adulthood and I never realized the pattern of describing me as 'dramatic' or continually trying to treat me like a child despite my very grown-up adult age, were and is their way of trying to force suppression of my voice, independence, growth, healness, and strength.
My other siblings are dismissive and become extremely argumentative or defensive of our 'loving parents' with any mention of how we grew up, or verbally attack me/talk about me to other family members like I'm the one with the issues with any effort I put forth to ask questions of why and to hold them accountable, or to just disassociate with an image I know is false, have my own life and live truly as a loving and peaceful person, or even just enforce the boundaries that I need that provide safety and continual psycho, emotional, mental, and antimanipulative protection.
I've finally realized that my growth, healness, counseling and the completion of my adult therapy program was and is a threat to the fake image they've all created after all these years. I did not tell them that I've done the work and have finally woke up from this reality due to therapy, because they don't know my current life business and just speculate and make up rumors and assumptions about me and what I have going on or why I'm 'acting' the way I'm 'acting' as truth, without ever even trying to even talk to me or not just assumes someone's continual triangulation is even the truth.
I am at peace, extremely successful and have overcome many things that would typically break the average person. Any reinforcement of boundaries, standing up for myself or attempt to distance myself from my parents since realizing how f'd up they did me when this was happening-even with my forgiving them for this throughout my life.
However, the older I get, when they continue to display the same patterns that were present during the abuse, now, including the thought of why did I even allow them a relationship with me in my life as an adult-because I get so disgusted with even the thought I'd ever allow a child to be abused by my spouse and let alone, stay married to them for decades afterwards. I can't believe I invited them to my wedding and we were the 'loving' bride's side...why was I so like "this is my family and we love each other, we're a close happy family" in my adulthood so long still? Until I woke up? There's so much I've since resolved with my therapist and have done the work to heal from-these are just questions to share the process I went through for insight. Also---It's really pathetic when I think about how different of a compassionate and truly loving person that I've become. I couldn't even fathom allowing abuse in my life or anything even remotely close to it or especially to be done to a CHILD...but here's more of how all my realizations have led me to where I am now:
I am SO glad that I am the VERY manifestation of 'WHEN you know BETTER, you DO better'...oh how the magicalness and bravery of individuals like Maya Angelou, Terrance Howard, and other past/currently alive ascended masters, who did and are leaving the breadcrumbs that nourish the souls of humanity on Earth today... The awakening and true freedom of thought and consciousness of myself has not only changed, but has elevated my existence, and my life.
I now experience the divine nature of love and revelation on a spiritual level that has brought abundance to me in every way and at every level.
I've done so much work, healing, therapy, service, reflection and growth, that the peace I feel daily, is what I never imagined happiness would be like.
To purely love and evolve as I truly am and meant to be, it's frustrating when the one group who we're taught is supposed to 'really' be your people, have been everything but that.
In the last 4 years, my life before now had been turned upside-down. In retrospect from now, I see why, as it had catapulted me into the healed, peaceful and abundant life that I have now.
...But, when everything started to happen, I really THOUGHT they (my family of origin) were there for me. I went to them for guidance and advice-I hadn't awakened to my newfound wisdom-filled reality at this point yet-and they appeared caring, so I thought...
I went to them because I thought they were the only people in my life by this point, who truly loved me 'unconditionally'. Much happened. I took some of their advice in the very beginning, but at the same time I started to remember who the ... I am...and it was on and popping from there, Baby!
From the multiple crises that I'd found myself in all those years ago: I went to therapy, did counseling, shadow work and started reparenting my inner child. I journaled and started to meditate and the answers flowed through me. I allowed the plan for my life to take shape and one after another, I started to solve my problems, so gracefully, all while growing, healing, and finding the peace that I had in my life before these many situations developed. However, it was on a whole other level, an intrinsic peace that scaffolded into a snowball of peace in every area I've ever struggled.
In the last year though, I have survived what I would consider my dark night of the soul and I feel remembered, like, renewed into the person I always had been, but wasn't aware of until now.
I now have strong boundaries that not only protect me, but they also hold me accountable to gracefully standing up for myself, my own personhood, my values, my beliefs, and that which keep me committed to the lessons I learned so painfully over these last few years, just from the 'not knowing any better' and...whew...religion, patriarchy, and so much more of how I was raised that pain-wrenchingly just set me up for failure in this life, if I never had made a change.
I'm SO happy I learned about just how all these constructs and societal blockages were NOT for my flourishing in life, on my own. Finally, the realization.
The more healed, awakened, and spiritual I became, the more I realized the family system that I was raised in, saw me as a threat. Looking back, so much of what I went through and was done to me was beyond messed up and downright wrong and abusive.
So now, there's this awkwardness of not knowing the true extent of the abuse in how I was raised...
...I did try to call out the obvious stuff as I got older, but I didn't understand that I was covertly bullied and gaslit when I tried to stand up originally...I was always told I need to 'forgive and forget'...and what would ... do? And... 'as a .... we are here to love thy neighbor...' bluh blue bluh...-My whole life, I didn't realize that I was the family scapegoat until 2024.
No matter how much I tried with the things I knew were outwardly morally wrong then, it wasn't until therapy that anyone in addition to myself validated my experiences; that abuse is abuse, every last form of it, and it doesn't matter in what context it happens: religious or political and about 20 other different forms, is not okay...
-So back to the awkwardness of having this lifelong 'close family' that I once thought was so strong and healthy, loving, both parents still together and 'in love', all 8 siblings with decent relationships, my whole life...UNTIL I LITERALLY woke up within the last year to REALIZE how JACKED UP they were and are. Thinking back to all the times I was not supported or protected, I was the one in the family, out of all 10 who was ever truly genuine, purely intentioned, loved unconditionally...and had no complex with CONTROL...just, it was just me...
Ask me how I know...
The very situations I've found myself in these last 6 years, when I deconstructed from all things religious and political or anti-dignity, when I started to stand up against things without fear, that were not okay, or for the true safety and benefit of humanity of living beings...EVERYTHING started to crumble and I BECAME public energy number one in my origin family. At first it was covert while they 'mistakenly forgot my boundaries' or 'didn't know what I'm doing now'...or the 'assuming and then making up their own thing and spreading the lie-behind my back"...
Also, any attempt to speak up and honor the abuse and neglect in childhood that I've overcome and have healed from and ask simple acknowledgment for from my parents, turns into excessive triangulation bringing everyone into the mix (again, in the shadows without my knowledge and behind my back), to point out my downfalls I literally just overcome and healed from these last 4 years, and then continue making up lies about me, spreading false rumors to extended family I don't engage with, don't have a relationship with, or whom I've cut off for being too toxic never changing... making more false grandiose accusations, saying I've talked about or down about people, made claims that I'm better than everyone, that it's all about me...etc...literally because all I did was reiterate my boundaries I've set, called people out for it, who have done toxic things to me. This is in addition to being accused of being all kinds of things because I've 'distanced' myself (from people who are not kind to me and who talk about me behind my back and have called me cruel names for calling them out on the toxic behavior they display towards me for being my own person and holding my ground on my own decisions as a full 30+ year old adult with my own family).
-I literally have a ~8+ minute voice-mail of an origin family member talking to someone about the hardships I've survived in the last 6 years because they unknowingly butt-dailed me last month and I received it and haven't confronted them yet, because I know it'll be a waste of time).
They have everyone sharing lies about me between the family, calling me after not hearing from them for months and trying to start arguments over nonexistent issues we've never had, taking a statement out of context and championing as a 'see see see she's doing this or that to me when they are the one calling me out of the blue (after already having done previous things to me that I yet again addressed and was ignored about, never chaning the behavior or apologizing) and trying to start stuff with me while I was minding my own business...
...all this from a recent holiday that I no longer celebrate that they're fully aware of.
They know I'm no longer religious, I have different beliefs and values now and instead of respecting it, they spread rumors, accusations, lies, unproven opinions, attempting various forms of triangulation to target me.
What makes it worse is that my relationship with my parents are so strained. They both took part in the abuse I suffered as a child. Being that I thought I had a really good relationship with one of them until this recent realization (I realized recently that they both were guilty, not just the one who committed it, the other always acted like they didn't know-but they did and admitted it recently). No say strained is an understatement honestly, but I had trying to at least be LC because of their relationship with my own family I've had since adulthood.
However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to even be around their religious talk and 'fake I love all my neighbors, I practice the daily religious routines everyday and read the text daily I'm so devout' act...
On the outside they look like they are just the epitome of devout faith individuals and they are living in according to what religious dogma aim for, all while secretly knowing what they did and allowed in our household-all my memories are very clear to this day, especially since I've awakened.
First Xmas was an issue even though that was a boundary for me. I suggested they were welcomed to celebrate the winter solstice with me, they declined, and I respected that. I offered a nice dinner the week beforehand as an alternative.
Then it was Easter, I declined (as I've reminded them that I hold different beliefs and values now which have really cultivated my lifestyle being different from theirs now, and reminded them that it is not difficult for me to respect their beliefs and values; that I expect the same level of respect from them). As an alternative, since they too were interested in celebrating for a totally different holiday/celebration, as I honor the spring solstice, I suggested a nice lunch on a regular unanchored day to any meaning, and to drive to the country and have a day of exploration where we could end with a dessert picnic on a rolling hill in the place I mentioned. They declined.
Since fully coming out the spiritual closet, most of my origin family has either lied about their communication service being interrupted, they have to work-most don't have jobs, or that they are so busy in their schedules, but are on social media all day-secretly being judgemental talking about people in general (strangers on the internet) who are in very difficult life/hard personal situations where they judge them based on the patriarchal and religious dogma we were raised in. It's really sad to me I have no more interest in engaging with negative people.
But what's really pathetic is they make up rumors and lies about me and start drama for my having my own separate lifestyle now everytime a national political holiday (tied to some form of historical trauma) or a religious holiday comes around as they (mentally try to) attack me because I didn't celebrate or 'honor' them-all while not knowing I have proof of every last one of them talking about me badly behind my back with lies and/or spreading rumors about me that aren't true. Literally.
The last straw was the most recent holiday, not calling or contacting them because I refuse to have or remind them for the 1,000,000th time about that boundary and standing up for my beliefs-it's so exhausting.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to live around positive, encouraging and accepting people who live by love and honoring everyone's humanity no matter their religion, gender, sex, background, status, etc...and just being kind to people in general, as long as they're not murdering or harming others (outside of self defense, like TRUE self-defense and not the kind cruel people try to use as a cover to inflict harm), everyone has a right to believe in and have the values that make them feel safe and whole.
Long story short, I know I am not the AH for standing my ground and protecting my personhood and that NO ONE on earth is entitled to what I believe, value, or what I choose to celebrate or not.
*I'd like to add a note that I have done especially deep, caring, loving, and acknowledgingly beautiful actions throughout every year my whole entire life and not just since this recent change in these last few years, like 12-20 times a year.
I no longer try to keep explaining or trying to defend why I'm defending myself against disrespect and people who are not gentle towards me like I've been with them throughout my life, always there, always the one to support.
I just do not care anymore, if I have to be along or start my (chosen) family this time around, I will. I just despise drama and toxicity. I will not let it permeate into the peaceful life I've fault to build.
(Thank you if you've made it this far)
-The Recently Realized Family Scapegoat and origin family generational curse-breaker

My husband and I have always talked about fostering and potentially adopting a child/children. We have a super stable and simple life, I work from home and my husband does well in his line of work. I feel we have so much love and support to extend to a child or someone in need. We want to have a biological child one day but I suspect there are fertility issues. Regardless of being able to conceive, fostering/adopting has always been the plan. My family is super supportive and my mom has a degree in psychology, I know our support system would be incredible as I know this process can be very emotional for both foster parents and kids.
I guess my question is for people who have been in or are in the foster care system, what did you want from a foster home? I know nobody wants to be in a foster home and the goal is to be able to go back to bio family but if you could have been placed in the ideal foster home, what would that consist of? We would want to provide the most healthy and supportive environment with zero expectations from the child - just really want to give someone a stable environment with all the financial/emotional support they need during a super tough time.

This was originally posted by u/ObjectivePea516 and u/RhinoRev40 who posted to relationship_advice
Original Post May 2nd, 2024
u/ObjectivePea516
My boyfriend of 9 months purchased a home and said he bought it with “me” in mind as we have talked about a future and wanting to have a family. We have had many serious talks about our relationship and we’ve both met each other’s families. He previously lived in a home for several years and has always thought about changing his living situation and also wasn’t sure if he even wanted to stay to live in the same city. To my surprise, he went to see a house without me knowing and put in an offer. Long story short his offer was accepted and he’s made comments about how he thought about this house for us eventually. I’m not sure how to feel about it, I’m really happy that he got a house he really likes and at the price he got it for. But I feel we’re not there yet to move in with each other. Also, in no way did I have a say in the decision of this house or the location so I don’t think him to say he got the house with “me” in mind is fair. He hasn’t considered the commute for me to travel to work or anything that would be considered specifically to actually having me in mind. He bought this home one block away from his previous house as he will be renting out that home now, so this home by default is a great location for him overall. I’m not sure how to feel about his comments and his expectations with me and the house.
Additionally, I am a student and the closing of his house happened to be the very busiest week of exams and assignments I had due. We had conversations about how I could not help him move and there seemed to be an understanding, that week consisted of working on a presentation, studying for an exam and working on a paper. Any other free time I had I invested in self care such as working out or doing yoga. However, on one of those days I posted a selfie where I was proud to have accomplished so much in the morning before going into work and he got extremely upset about this. He went on to say I didn’t care to help him move and that I didn’t want to help him move essentially and made a huge deal about it as he bought this house with “me” in mind. What do you think of this?
Edit to give more context:
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• The house was bought entirely with his money. I have zero financial contribution to this.

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• We never talked about a specific time frame when I would move in. It was a discussion about how it’s something we both would want eventually

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• We did talk about how I would contribute when that time comes, in which I mentioned expenses such as hydro, utilities, internet etc..I also made it clear that in no way was I expecting a free ride and not to contribute anything. That’s just not my character.

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• The selfie that was posted was a close up shot of my face with sunglasses on and enjoying my coffee! I had made a list of accomplishments of tasks I did that day and wrote it in this picture: “meal prep ✅, work out ✅, coffee ✅, sunshine ✅… great way starting my day so far!”

UPDATE: How would you feel if your boyfriend (M38) of 9 months purchases a home and says it’s for you (F34)? We Broke Up! May 17, 2024
Original post
https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/qlMCWJePi8
I realized that when we talked about the reality of me moving in with him, I mentioned that I could sell all my furniture but would want and need to keep my desktop computedesk, his response to me was that he wouldn’t let me have my own room for that and to get a laptop instead. The man has an entire room dedicated to his sneakers. When I also mentioned the commute and how I’d have to pay for parking, as I take the subway to work currently, (not a big deal in comparison to paying for the mortgage, but still an expense) he said there could be days he could drive me, then followed it up with “but you don’t ever drive me to work”.
He did not buy the house with “me” in mind at all. It’s clear that this is HIS house and he wasn’t going to share his space in any other way besides how he wanted it.
We had plans for me to come over on a specific day but had also fought. I admitted and apologized that I could have put my anger aside and came to help. However, I wanted reassurance that he understood that if I have my own priorities and we discussed this, he cannot throw it in my face and tell me I did not meet his needs. I’m not saying of course that in any in case I would not drop something for my partner in an emergency. I did not feel that he understood this. And when I tried to explain this he said that I was “retracting my apology”..I just kept feeling constantly misunderstood and having to defend myself in this relationship with other issues as well. That was the end of that. Better to cut it off sooner than later and before taking the relationship to the next level of commitment. It definitely sucks.
AND I showed him this thread in which he of course was upset, says he felt betrayed. He called me “entitled” as he thinks I am saying I he bought it FOR me, which I am not in any way. He’s missing the point for this post in which I think he doesn’t want to take accountability for not acknowledging he was wrong for throwing it in my face. The main point was guilt tripping and using the “I bought it with you in mind” response. Because clearly, even if the commute was not in mind (currently, I live in an expensive area so to not buy a house here is a valid point), the ability to actually live with him was not with me in mind! He really absolutely did not care about me as a person and my needs or even can understand what a real relationship is. He skimmed through all 565 comments and screenshotted the best ones that validated him and sent them to me to prove, he’s a “good guy”.
MY SIDE: My ex ( 36 not 34F) made a post saying I ( 42/M) told her I bought her house and has blocked me from commenting. How about I share some context? May 18th, 2024
u/RhinoRev40
Her post: https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/ooTwyFNwWk She only showed me this a few days ago, but for the past couple of weeks my now ex gf has been curating the truth to extract as much validation as she can from this situation, and has prevented me from commenting or sharing my side.
She admits that I actually said - that I bought a house with us in mind. I did say that. When i first met her, I was moving away to LA. I had already lived in a home that was paid off for 12 years, but when i met her; i decided that maybe it's best and continue to build a life here, and should things work out, we could figure out a future together.
I had been looking at the market and one day, an amazing house came on the block, for 300k less than it was a months ago. I pounced and went to see it. That night i told her i saw a place, i even sent her the photos and said, i'm going to place an offer, which i did.
She seemed to love the place and see how much of an upgrade it would be from my current place - this is a 2M house, with 4 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, 2 living rooms and most importantly, a garage as my cars kept getting stolen since i didn't have one at my current place.
There was never mention of us moving in together right away, at the time we were together for 6 months, wayyyy too soon. We weren't even saying "i love you yet" - and i did say that once actually, and she just didn't return it anyways.
That being said, since we spend 95%% of our time sleeping at my place when we see each other once a week, figure this would be good for us, and when it is time, we could move in together there and go from there.
She loved the place, from what she said, this was supposed to be a positive.
Now let's rewind though.
3 months into the relationship, she asked to borrow 4000$. I was not comfortable with it, but as usual, she made herself seem so much in need, that I couldn't say no and just break up with her there, but now I realize i should have. She guilted me sayinf that couples have to work together and be there for each other and all that jazz.
The fact is, within those first 3 months, i had brought her to LA while i had to be there on business and the total cost of the week that she was there was around 3K. Then, over xmas, we went to another city, another 2-3K, as well as a punta cana vacation for 7K. So after all that is when she decided to ask me, and you don't need to be a genius to realize thst she chose me because clearly, she pinned me as having the money to.
Had this been my wife or long term gf, this wouldn't of been an issue, but 3 months in - this was a big flag and i talked to her about it. As usual, and as a pattern throughout this relationship, she would get extremely angry, lose her cool and make me feel bad for "questioning her character".
So, fast forward to me actually moving into this house over a 3 week period. She helped none whatsoever, never offered and my own family, friends, and people who were working at the house asked me about it apl the time. Oh she has school, oh she texts me though and so on. Completely MIA until of course friday or saturday night where she wanted to go for dinners or go to shows - that we did, of course.
One day, once her exams had tailed down and she told me she was waking up early to write a photo, i saw that she posted a sunshine kissed selfie saying: yoga! Meal prep! Coffee! Sunshine!
And i wrote her privately: " you know, i feel you could have at least offered to help in some way today". Again, she loses it, tells me : " you know you don't have to tell me something just because it bothers you" and then eventually she says, and i will never forget this ever : " don't you think you're expecting a little much of me for 7/8 months of dating"?
I was shocked. For some reason, pressuring your bf for a 4000$ loan 3 months in, but offering help in any way over a 3 week period is too much.
I called it off, decided i don't need her and this relationship wouldn't work with this set of values we don't share.
A couple of days later, after trying whatever she could to flip this whole fight on me, constantly chaging the goal post as a pattern i had identified and made her aware of repeatedly over those 7/8 months, she eventually showed up unannounced, apologizing profusely, and apparently seeming to genuinely recognize that it wasn't right, and she could have offered.
I took some of the responsibility once she did, and said that maybe, i could have been more direct as to when and how.
We resolved, we started to laugh again, this was a fight that we would "learn from" we both said.
Well, last week we disagreed for another simple issue, and she blew up as she does, yelling, calling my life chaotic, calling me eveything she can think of, and then says she resents me for wanting her to help with the house when she had exams!
Basically she took back the apology fully and stormed out of the house, i did not chase her. I did not text her, and i did not want to negotiate at all anymore.
The next morning she said she acted like that because i told her she was fucked. Tbh, i don't remember saying that, but i probably did as she was having a massive blow up.
I apologized for saying that she is fucked because afterall, whatever i do is in my control and tried my very best to get her to see that blowing up like that, is her behavior to be accountable for.
That's when she shared the original thread... again - no words, shocked that for a couple of weeks in the background she had been farming all these comments about me, sharing our personal stuff and curating it in a way to make herself look like, you guessed it, a "victim" whose boyfriend "bought her a house"?
We met off hinge. She asked to borrow 3K from me 3 months in, and I told her since then that it just didn't look good at all, and I'd hate to have something like that i couldn't even share with my friends / family.
The facts are that she only shared as the relationship went on:

• she is over 40k in debt

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• Got fired from her nursing job because the educator had it in for her

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• Missed out on receiving funding from the school because of their online portal

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• Wasn't able to apply to graduate because the school didn't let her know properly

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• Hates her parents even though they gabe her a car, paid for her exams and other failed attempts at schooling in the past

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• Told me that her last relationship was "toxic" and she didn't see a future with him but stayed with him for 3 years and when they broke up, he threatened to jump off their building, same building she currently lives in - where 1 bedroom costs more than my previous mortage did for the 12 years that i paid it.

Overall, yes i had reason to play it slow with her. I didn't want her moving in on a technicality, or making me responsible for all her bills or getting trapped if things didn't work out.
I didn't buy her a house, i bought my house, in cash, paid in full and she was well aware that.
I bought a house because I had settling down in my current city in mind after meeting and had hoped it would work out.
But here she is complaining about if she would have an office in it, for...nursing?
A shoe room? I have 25 pairs of shoes in a closet. The spare bedroom would be for a baby's room, possibily if my future half is comfortable with that. Discussions would be had but i realized that discussions would never be had with her.
She has rage in her mind, a wild sense of entitlement and at present time is currently getting evicted from her apartment, and has no full time job but all the time in the world to make reddit posts for validation.
This problem is solved, she is not going to move in, and i am accountable for my house and hope she becomes accountable for "her house".
I welcome any comments / questions but i know I was dealing with a highly problematic person who will never truly realize her ways.
I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts

Good day everyone! I need your advice po. 2015 when I started to go in college. That was after po I graduated in high school. I was a scholar in Christian Colleges of Southeast Asia and took up BSBA. BSBA is not really the course I want but it was chosen by my Mom for me. Wala akong magawa kaya yun na lang kinuha ko. A few months has passed, hindi ko talaga feel ang course. Na feel ko na hindi ito mag wowork for me because I was unhappy about it. I quit studying kahit hindi pa tapos ang 1st sem. Na dissapoint ang parents ko and nagalit sila that time. Pero I told them na hindi talaga ako happy sa kinuha kong course and naintindihan din naman nila. Fast forward in 2017,I decided to mag aral ulit. My Mom transferred me sa Philippine Women's College of Davao when she learned na lumipat yung mga old classmates ko sa college which was also mga classmates ko rin sa high school before. She also learned that they are scholar ulit don sa school na yun. Pinag apply ako ni Mama and luckily, naka kuha ako ng Student Assistant Scholarship. I was happy about it kasi big help din yun to aid my finances. I shift a course din when I started studying in PWC. I took BSIT which is was one of my top 3 choices na course ko. Since huli akong nag pa enrill don, konti na lang subjects natira sa akin. I got 4 subjects — Filipino, English, Computer and PE. But hindi ko napasukan PE subject ko until natapos ko yung semester 😢 I have a weak body and may problem ako sa heart and medyo hate ko rin talaga ang physical activity. I was so happy din naman kasi na eenjoy ko yung course ko and at the same time, nakapag work ako sa school. A few months passed, I got hospitalized due to overfatigue, stressed and UTI. Ilang araw akong nasa hospital nun and yung papa ko, pumunta siya ng school para ipaalam sa pinagtatrabahuan ko doon na na ospital ako and na inform niya rin yung head namin sa student assistants. After a few days been in the hospital, pumasok na ulit ako and nag focus more sa work and pag-aaral. Before the semester ends, I got the results from my subjects na nakapasa ako. Pinatawag rin ako ng head namin and she told me na they need to terminate my contract due to absences daw. 3 times lang daw pwedeng umabsent and dahil more than 3 days akong nasa ospital, na terminate ako. Yung principal pala ng elementary level kung saan ako nag wowork asked her to terminate it. I felt bad jud but I understand naman. Sobra talaga ako naiyak and na dissapoint nun. When I told my parents about it, they dissapointed again. They were mad. Sobrang stressed talaga ako non and doon nag start na nagkaka problem na ako sa mental health. I got depressed nung time na yun lalo na nung nag hiwalay parents ko the same year. Grabe yung sakit na naramdaman ko nun. Hindi ako nag patuloy sa studies ko kasi ang dami kong problema nun. Nihalos hindi na ako lumalabas ng bahay kasi madami akong iniisip. Lalo na rin hindi ako nag patuloy sa pag-aaral kasi we are not financially stable nung time na yun. Now, 2024, I was planning na mag aral ulit. Although natatakot ako or kinakabahan kasi baka pag tawanan ako ng mga tao or i judge ako kung bakit ngayon ko lang ipupursue yung studies ko. I was planning na mag aral sa University of Mindanao and will shift again ng ibang course which I planned na mag take ng Interior Design, which is top choice ko talaga na course. Kaya ko na rin naman pag aralin ang sarili ko since my stable work na ako. I need your advice lang sana po, ano pong mangyayari po? Like magkakaroon po ba akong problem if mag ta trasnfer ako ng ibang school? What will happend don sa subject na hindi ko na attendan po? Your advices will help me so much 🥺

Let me start from the very beginning. I met this girl 2 years ago in one of my classes and she asked for my number for math help and we started talking. However, not one conversation was about math. We talked about life and other stuff (and obviously since we were high schoolers about our classes) and I started catching feelings for her. She told me what she enjoyed doing, asked questions and wasn’t really dry (I felt like I was starting most of the conversations as I look back) and how she wanted me to join her in partaking in her hobbies and overall said a lot of things that made me believe that I had a chance. As the year was coming to an end, we planned on going to a movie (me, her, a few other girls and my best friend). I told her I wanted to speak about something to her a few days before we went and she called me for the first time and I was scared to pick up so I said I was busy and it was too important so I’d save it for later. The day of the movie came and one of the girls knew what I wanted to do (turns out that girl had a crush on me) so she helped get the rest of everyone away for a little bit and left us alone. I chickened out and just made it awkward between us being too scared to say anything. After that, we all went to go get food and this was my last opportunity to say anything. So once more the girl came up with a reason to take everyone away and leave the two of us alone together and I built up all the courage I had and just said it. She said she never really thought of me that way and I was crushed and pretty sad for the rest of the time we were there.
That night, I texted her telling her that I might need some space and if it was okay with her if I didn’t reach out as much for a few days. The next day at school, she was speaking to me in the third person and not even acknowledging that I was there (we sat right next to each other and we were working on something together with another person). I couldn’t help but feel so alienated in the situation and feel like giving up right then and there because even though I did say that I wouldn’t reach out as much, I didn’t expect her to completely ignore me. Then the last day of school came around (I couldn’t go as I had a flight booked that day to go out of the country) and she texted me “we missed you today” as in her, the few other girls, and my best friend. That day, my best friend texted me saying that he suspects that my crush liked him and asked me if he should ask anything about it to her because of the way she was acting on the last day of school. The whole time, my friend was pushing me to tell her how I felt and helped me build up the courage and introduced me to the gym. I had known him since elementary school and he was honestly one of the best people I could ask for at the time. From the start, he barely talked to her having minimal interaction with her and kept saying that he caught my crush staring at me during class. Basically, I pushed him to do it since I was curious as well and he asked her. At this time I was in the airport and on the plane but turns out, she liked him and wanted to go out on a date with him. And all that “caught staring” was actually to him and not me. He asked me what he should do and I told him it was up to him so at first he said yes. I felt so betrayed, by her for even asking to go out with my best friend 4 days after it all went down, and a little by my best friend. In my clouded mind, I texted her saying what she did was a little f’ed up (I don’t know what I was thinking) and we had a small argument about everything.
Once all this happened, my friend was mad at me for going and texting her (as he should be) and he cut it off with her saying he was busy and just showed no interest. After the whole situation, my best friend just distanced himself from me, barely talking or texting me the whole time I was in a different country. I texted her saying whatever I did was unnecessary and that I felt bad. After a month and a half of having no contact with either of them, she texts me one random day that she wanted to end the beef. I texted her here and there but not as much as everything felt dry and as if I was forcing her to speak so I just gave up. I get back home and my best friend and I go to the gym once and for some reason I felt so nauseous (this had never happened to me before) and like I would collapse so I had to go home and I texted him as I was leaving the gym. That was basically the last time that I had any interaction with him until the next school year started. Once the school year started, I asked both my ex crush and my ex best friend about what classes I had and none of them were the same. From that day onwards, my conversations with my ex best friend was strictly about academics, nothing more. When it came to my ex crush, she posted something about her having a scare experience of some guys harassing her and I asked her to make sure everything was okay. After that for a few months (my dumb self wanted to do this for some reason) I texted her asking for help to get this other girl and said I needed her help. It was an awkward conversation and was so unnecessary.
After that I realized how dumb I was being and I stopped having any interactions with her and she texted me happy birthday so when it was her birthday I just texted it back. I won a competition as well so she said congratulations and all the things people do to just be nice. So that comes brings us up to my senior year. We got a couple classes together this time, I’ve caught her staring at me a couple of times myself and I’ve just made eye contact a few times. The only issue is, I don’t know if she has a boyfriend or not and is talking to someone at the moment. For some reason, I started catching feelings for her once more with just barely talking to her. I don’t know where it came from but I have no idea what to do. School just ended for me and I have graduation in a little bit. I plan on going to a different college (or the Air Force for a year depending on how everything pans out) while she is going to a completely different school than me out of state. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? Should I just forget about it and try my best to move on or how should I approach going about this whole situation?
tldr: I got rejected by my crush 2 years ago and turns out she liked my best friend and we had an argument. Lost my best friend and was still trying to find ways to talk to her. Gave up for a year and half and now I’m catching feelings again. We are about to graduate this week and will be off to different colleges. What should I do?

Hi All. Successfully employed with a great day job. In 2021 I took out a relatively small SBA Loan ($465,000) to build out a new concept business as a side hustle/investment business.
To skip all the BS - the business has been a success for the most part; cash flow positive from Day 1 with an EBITDA after 1st full year of about $175K on gross sales (service business) of $400K.
!!!I am absentee!!!...but staffing these days has been an issue and I don't have time to manage it. The excitement I had is gone and my day job is way too important to not give attention. My loan balance is in the high 300's and this SBA rate is getting stupid (11%). I have credit in the 810 range, but can't refi into a conventional loan without three years financials.
I am trying to sell this for a very low multiplier of my EBITDA (just want to pay off my loan and get back cash I put in). Tons of interest in selling the business, but no bites (it's a very niche business).
In an apocolypse now scenario that I can't sell it and just want to be done with it, what happens? How does the personal guarantee thing work? Its got assets my lender can recover, but I don't want to get into bankruptcy scenario. If I file for corp bank, what happens to my personal assets since SBA makes you sign a guarantee?

My partner is my first boyfriend and I’m his second girlfriend. We have plans of getting married soon but I want to be better for myself and be a better partner too. I have discovered a lot of insecurities ever since we’ve been together. Insecurities I didn’t realize I had. One of which is having the disorganized attachment style(wanting love but not trusting it) and a byproduct of retroactive jealousy(threatened by or jealous of the past). They broke up cause the girl cheated, he wanted to stay in the relationship making me insecure thinking that dang he might’ve loved her that much to stay even after her cheating. But he’s always told me that we’re the healthiest relationship he has ever had and that he didn’t know himself then and that he was lost and weak when they got together. But I can’t help overthink a lot of stuff especially since I don’t know what it feels like to move on from an ex and still love someone new fully.
I make a lot of scenarios of comparison in my mind but one thing that hits me hardest is my worry about physical intimacy(his ex being the first time and if you’re an overthinker like me, you’ll know how thoughts like this snowball). I saw something recently that made me worry if he had more desire to have sex with the ex before when they were still together than with me now(they were LDR most of the 2 years they were together, btw). Even though it’s none of my business and it’s so stupid, it’s still bugging me a lot recently. I want to ask questions thinking it will give me reassurance but I also know I might not like what I hear.
Tl;dr
Does it ever get better? If you’ve experienced something similar, how did you cope? What did you ask yourself to do to heal and what did you ask of your partner that helped? Any books or podcasts you’d recommend? It’s exhausting, honestly.