Taking birth control and antibiotics

This stupid little idea was mainly born out of me going “hmmm, vampires, werewolves, and the undead are all kinda “classic monsters”….wonder if I can make something with all of them in it”.
So please keep in mind that this idea was made for fun and is very much in its infancy with this little bit being almost everything I got for it. I found it appealing enough though to actually do something with it so ask any questions or propose any idea you may have so I can flesh it out better!
It’s mostly gonna be a modern fantasy story by the end.
The events of the story Frankenstein unfold as you know them. However the key difference is the method used to construct the monster and Victor's intended goal when making him. By using the stolen ribs of the first man, Adam, along with the heart of Christ in the construction, the doctor hoped to bring about the miracle of life. Which he succeeded in.
The desired outcome of this was to create a divine being, untouched by the filth of man and so pure in both mind and soul that it could act as a sacrifice to bring about the cleansing of humanity. However, the experiment was deemed a failure, as the newly created being was wholly unable to tap into the divine power within it. Alongside the fact that its mind was similar to that of a newly born child in a man’s body. From there the story plays out as usual, with the “monster” learning and chasing after Victor. Everything remains largely the same up until his supposed death at the hands of his creation. At some point a group of individuals from a secret investigation group within the Vatican church had been able to track Victor down while searching for the stolen relics.
At first, they had pondered simply executing him on the spot, but before they could decide, they had a run in with the Monster. During the ensuing battle they had managed to retrieve the Monster’s heart and force it to retreat, only just barely living through the fight. That was when they made a different decision. Victor Frankenstein's execution would be indefinitely suspended and in exchange he would turn over all of his research into resurrection to help fight against a long lived enemy of the church. Dracula.
After a period of time Victor’s research would be improved upon, giving birth to a group of resurrected people who fell in battle with supernatural enemies called the “Gravestones”. They proved to be more than capable of holding their own against vampiric forces, boasting similar strength and speed to that of the average vampire.
Before the final assault on Dracula’s castle, the church was able to enlist the help of a man who simply went by “Hellsing”.
They were so close to victory during the battle with Dracula. However the fight was taxing on both sides, forcing Hellsing to unleash and take on an ancient curse sealed within a box that transformed him into a rampaging beast. Both Dracula and Hellsing died in that battle, forcing Dracula into making a desperate gamble to extend his life by scattering his vampiric essence in the form of a blood mist. Anyone unfortunate enough to breathe this mist in would become a vampire themselves, with the hopes that he’d one day reincarnate into one of his victims bodies.
Fast forward to modern times (2019) and there’s been a sudden surge of vampires appearing and related attacks. In an event called the Great Revival, vampires of old have all been waking up from their dormant states. In response the Hellsing family established an organization dedicated to combating these threats, working with a strained relationship alongside the church.
Here are my vague ideas for the plot. The main character is caught up in a vampire attack and dies as a result of it, only to be revived to work as a Gravestone. Frankenstein’s monster makes a reappearance in the modern era, attempting to reclaim his heart. The Vatican is pushing along their own agenda and making shady deals with other vampire hunting organizations. Lastly, the Hellsing organization is stretched thin at all times, barely keeping itself together and having men in their ranks dropping like flies. A type of manufactured crisis to force Hellsing to lean on them for support.
Couldn’t really figure out where werewolves really would fit in all this and the main plot is still very much nonexistent.

This is probably a longer story than it really is, but I am just trying to give as much context as I can.
In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.

Before you read. I know someone will come across this post who just got a diagnosis. Someone will be terrified their life as they know it is over and just wants some positive news. This is for you.
A year and half ago I learned about POP and it completely controlled my life. I immediately went and saw an OB, a Urogynecologist, and a pelvic floor therapist (OB recommended) each one gave me a completely different diagnosis, dismissed my fear and told me to do Kegals. The PT I was recommended to taught me how to do Kegals and said to take laxatives the rest of my life and set ms off. That was Dec. 2022-April 2023. 6 months ago I saw another OB looking for answers and given a completely new diagnosis.
All 4 said don't lift heavier than 10lbs, don't squat, don't run, don't bear down, etc. All 4 said what I had was extremely minor (although they all 4 said a different kind of prolapse).
Of course that all left me confused and scared. I googled everything trying to learn more. I came to this group and found it hard to find much positive information. I became terrified to move, to play with my kids, my first and last thought everyday was my pelvic floor. My house was a mess more than not, I barely picked up my kids.
Well, 2 months ago I decided enough was enough and found an out of pocket private Physical Therapist. It completely changed my life. Not only did I learn my body and what I have going on better, I learned how the body works in general, I learned that all the previous advice was old, I learned how to safely bear down when needed and how to lift. I now squat (30lbs in 2 months started from 15), carry my kids, my hips don't hurt, my butt looks GOOD, I can jump on a trampoline and got the all clear to run. I don't leak and in my case I did have a regression of my POP.
If you can see a private PT. One who analyzes your whole body, who wants to make sure your body functions correctly again. One who truly cares and listens to you and your issues. You're life isn't over and this isn't forever. While you may not have an actual regression in stage you can become stronger and learn how to protect your pelvic floor. You can learn to prevent further damage while still living your life. This isn't your new forever if you don't want it to be.
Please note: I won't be responding to any comments. This is the end of my journey with letting POP controll my life and that includes the end of this group for me.

33M, 5’11, 200 pounds, white, United States
Current medication: Multivitamin, fish oil, Zyrtec, eating a lot of kimchi, kombucha, yogurt for probiotics
I’ve had a persistent salty taste in my mouth for over a month. It started after I completely 2 rounds of antibiotics and PPIs to get rid of hpylori. Never had any stomach issues in my life so hpylori was really scary. Luckily I got rid of it and confirmed that via breath test at my GI. My only lingering symptom is this salty taste in my mouth which he didn’t seem concerned with, he said I could take a PPI but would just wait it out. I wanted an endoscopy just to be safe but he said that wouldn’t be needed. I did have oral thrush after hpylori which I got rid of with medicine too. My doctor said the salty taste could be a change in diet or allergies or maybe anxiety since I have been quite anxious lately, this taste in my mouth isn’t helping.
It’s becoming very annoying, I had some post nasal drip from allergies but I’m on allergy medicine and it’s still there. I don’t have acid reflux symptoms that I can tell but tried tums and Pepcid and that didn’t work either. Tried elevating my head at night too.
I eat very clean, workout and drink plenty of water
Wondering if anyone has thoughts on what else it could be or have seen this in the past? Thank you!

I'm... Having trouble dealing with my migraines while we find a preventive that works. I just got my third round of Botox and got the same bad reaction I got the first time: daily headache, head pressure, stiff shoulders, etc.
One of the things that's really messing with me is that I'm exhausted. All. The. Time. I need to take a nap every single day, and I don't really feel the effects of caffeine on the rare occasion that I take it. This means I haven't really been exercising, moving around much, etc.
But maybe I should force myself? Maybe I'll get more energy? I don't think that's the case, but I guess I'm feeling very helpless right now and that would make me feel more on control.

I dunno, I’ve wronged some people, intentionally or not, unknowingly or knowingly.
I do recall spitting horrific insults, violent and maybe hurtful against some people I perceive to have made my life hell.
Most of the time I just remain silent though.
Living in a residential treatment center as a teenager gets old.
Too old, I am very introverted, I don’t enjoy external stimulation and the reduced privacy, not too much time where I can rest and let shit out, I haven’t any friends to talk to, I’m very fearful and avoidant for two reasons mainly, don’t wanna get hurt, don’t want people to get hurt.
I was grumbling this morning about the driver who takes us to school stopping by a 7/11 that was right across the street from it, aswell as making a stop by a jamaican beef patty place too halfway through the ride, someone explained to me that I was indeed being somewhat selfish as I do take forever to get my hygiene together and my ass out of bed, being depressed and drained has its’ perks I guess.
I understand that was wrong, it seems he most likely needed breakfast and there was a chance he couldn’t make his way to the 7/11 after school starts.
For context as to my behaviors:
I get lost in thought doing stuff all the time, hence my hygiene being long, have been working on it though, trying to route my thoughts back onto the task as much as possible, reduced it to about 45-50 minutes in total before I’m ready.
I still struggle to get out of bed, I just got an alarm clock but it seems I forget where the snooze button is, being groggy, irritable, and my mind being foggy when I wake up, not to mention I don’t feel motivated, excited or happy to do anything or to run myself into a hellish concrete noisebox, the school we go to is kinda iffy in quality and structure, well, there is no real order tbh, things are always loud, and I can’t get much of a break but they told me of a few specific people I can go to, my social worker there essentially declared me to not be worth his time though, I just wanted some time to rest and maybe talk whenever I met with him but it seems he ran out of patience and stopped being supportive.
I’ve had a shit life so far, bad luck and even worse decisions do that, not gonna too much get into it as it’s only relevant in that it gave me trust issues, emotional control problems, and the big sad (depression), talking too much about it would only be counterintuitive as I am here to see if I can get the POV of an outsider to help myself with a decision on how to improve myself, not seek pity, I still may share a lot so scroll to the bottom if you don’t want to read it.
Asian family, NYC, abuse, I feel personally that my family is composed of narcissistic assholes, the physical abuse/corporal punishment only ended when ACS was called, childish arguments over trivial things and slights, get old though, I was told that it could just be communication problems but I doubt it as every time I trusted them I only suffered and wound up guiltripped into doing what they want, study endlessly at the cost of my sanity, being threatened with them rescinding all validation, ‘love’ and help.
My residential’s social worker encountered similar problems in childhood and seems to be supportive to some degree, but recently she refused to apologize for certain actions that only ate away at me instead of helping despite me telling her, including waving her hand in front of my phone jokingly when I was typing in the journal app, finishing up a cathartic rant, and forcing me into activities I don’t want to do because it only served to remind me of how fucked I am and made me share stuff I don’t feel comfortable sharing.
She also was one of the person stating my familial issues could just be communication problems and I’m tired of them trying to convince me that my family totally gives a shit at all, my mother does occasionally feel like making more generous offers when I am replacing some old things but sometimes she skimps out on important parts, maybe half assing the deal by replacing a component of the thing I asked for with a cheaper item, that sometimes could be detrimental to the thing as a whole, though some of these times she could replace some items with expensive stuff with or without necessity, often I am reluctant to accept, I recently did get the latest iphone but my old phone was running out of storage and was really dinged up and I don’t get to replace my phone very often, it’s on a basis of once every few years.
My family may skimp out on some of my other needs, primarily personal space and emotional, aswell as maybe hygiene products depending on the case (I don’t like using irish spring or years old dove bars and most of the bath and shower stuff is suited for their needs, and before I had to argue for quite a bit in some instances regarding deodorants and getting different soap.) which is why I feel like the above is just window dressing, I do get berated and shamed for trivial stuff excessively, but it all just leads to arguments whenever I try to address it with them regardless of what tone I chose to speak to them with.
I don’t know what to make of all the above and pardon me if it is excessive, I am aware I am not the most emotionally stable and I can come off as rude or self absorbed but I have been dealing with a lot more lately, and I snap more easily when that happens, and don’t wanna be bothered, frankly you don’t walk away happy from being yelled and jeered at by bullies at the school and being told to kill yourself, and being told you have to deal with it for character development, I also hate being lonely (I’m literally alone, got no friends and even shittier self esteem, feel too ashamed and fearful to make friends and I have habits that drive people away, partially derived from said loneliness), the people I’ve met, I don’t know if I’ve read them wrong but I don’t trust them, they say I should try to share and communicate but frankly that is difficult when it seems they don’t want to, in many of the cases I don’t feel heard either as I am talked over or interrupted, rushed even, including sometimes by the social workers.
Now, I don’t know if it’s because they are stressed themselves but it gets old.

I consolidated in Aug '23 to take advantage of the 1-time count readjustment Mohela proceeded to miscategorize one of the loans that comprises all my previous loans from 1994-2006 as PF (Paid in Full) not PN (paid in full by consolidation). I am very anxious and worried that none of my payments will count prior to 2006. I have called DOE, Mohela, sent a complaint to Mohela, sent a complaint to the Ombudsman and just sent a follow-up complaint (back in early March). DOE says it's Mohela's mistake to fix. Mohela says it's the DOE. And my message to the Ombudsman was closed as resolved- I reopened it. And Mohela's response (this week in May) was an AI generated response directing me to information on the student aid website about the count readjustment. I am so frustrated with the lack of clarity and clear answers. Do I need to be worried? Has anyone else had a similar issue? And why is it so hard to fix a clerical error or have someone take ownership? On top of this Mohela put my account on Forbearance until June when I requested a different payment date back in January. I did not request the forbearance. So the interest is accruing despite my intentional shift to SAVE to avoid this. I have tried paying. Called a ridiculous amount of times. Gotten multiple answers and the runaround. So tired of the sheer incompetence. And another issue around trying to get my data history prior to Mohela. I can't get over the direct lies, differing answers, and absolute lack of ownership from Mohela and the DOE. And not one of my complaints to the Ombudsman resulted in support to rectify any of these issues.
Any advise or help in getting help? Or do I need to worry about any of this? We're being treated like criminals who aren't seen as worthy of answers or support. I'm tired of the public vitriol as well that was birthed from political agendas and reduces us all to lazy losers who want to get out of commitment and are single-handedly destroying the future of the US Economy. The only saving grace is this thread on Reddit.

I have been feeling a bit sad seeing that so many people did not like P1. Obviously everyone is entitled to their opinions, but it feels like every review I have seen so far has been negative, at least on reddit. I have taken to tiktok because there is much more positivity being spread there! I loved P1 and I am really trying not to let the bad critical reviews get to me and ruin my enjoyment because I can absolutely see everyone's points, but also we are only seeing the first half of a season that SHOULD HAVE been released all at once. Netflix fucked up with that one big time here.
Splitting this season is a detriment to it, because the first half admittedly does not have as many Polin scenes as I would have liked, and it does leave some to be desired. BUT I actually do believe that craving for more Polin will be fullfulled in P2, and if they had not split up the season it is likely people would not be feeling a little lackluster, because the whole story from beginning to end would have been presented, and then the whole work can be reviewed as a whole as well.
I feel like the slight fumbles of the first half could have easily been overlook and redeemed quickly by the addition of the second half not having to be waited for, considering the circumstances of Pen and Colin's relationship in the second half.
That being said every second Pen and Colin were on the screen I was captivated, giggling and kicking my feet! Their chemistry is amazing and their tension, awkwardness at times, and just overall interactions are so good in my opinion! It really feels like 2 friends who are navigating confusing feelings. There definitely could have been scenes depicting their friendship, but I think it showed it quite well! I don't get the comments of people "not buying their relationship" that makes no sense to me what so ever lmao.
Colin and Pen are so cute, and I really enjoyed all the call backs to the book scenes. Some were even almost word for word and I loved that personally as a book reader.
I know some people did not like the second hand embarrassment brought on by Pen, but honestly I feel like that is the point lmao. She is a girl who is very bad at being anything other than herself so when she is finally being real she eases up a bit. I found Pen charming no matter what. Just call me Colin at this point, because I could never dislike Pen lmao.
Debling and Pen were wonderful, and I did like they way they handled them in ep 4, some did not, but I did. It was not overdone like s2 with Anthony and Edwina, I enjoyed that they learned from that mistake.
The last 10 mins of Ep 2 and Ep 4 were brilliant, absolute *chefs kiss* I will be taking no further comments on that one lmao. Made the whole season for me, and P2 isn't even out. The new *Bridgerton Man Dialogue* goes HARD!!!
I was incredibly surprised by Eloise, I was very worried she would be on the cruel side to Pen since she is hanging around with Cressida but that is not the case at all. She very clearly still loves and cares for Pen, but she is very hurt. Anytime something bad happens to Pen she is around and makes sure in her own way that Pen is okay.
Onto Cressida, dare I say it. Cressida (for NOW) has not been redeemed per say in my eyes but they did a really great job at trying to show her changing as a character, I was not expecting them to be able to make me lighten my opinion on her but they did make me see her differently. One set of scenes revolving around a specific piece of gossip (iykyk) did a good job of showing that she can be trustworthy and kind when in the right environment. However, lmao it is yet to be seen if this will continue in P2 due to the upcoming plot points and clips we have seen! I am very excited to find out!
The other side plots to me did not feel very long or boring idk? I didn't mind them. Some episodes I was yearning for Polin to come back tho and thats mainly because I was just so excited to see their romance! Least favourite side plot was probably Ben and Tilly... lmao I love Ben, but their side plot so far was a bit bland out of them all, that may change P2 tho? I am trying not to pass judegment because we don't have everything! Tilly is a girlboss tho love her and ben just seperately! The Mondrich's was not bad it took up very little screentime. The Featherington Heir was also not too bad either it took up the most sideplot airtime but it was funny lmao!
Overall I LOVED the first half, and for others who did as well dont let the negative reviews damper your fun and love of the show! Pen and Colin are wonderful of course. Colin yearning was EVERYTHING, I MEAN EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED AND MORE LMAO (maybe I could have gone for a bit more outward jealousy but the small crumbs of spoken jealousy we got was GOOD STUFF i must say)!!!
I, again, think the biggest detriment was the splitting of the season which the showrunners had no control over. I will definitely be watching P1 again (numerous times) before P2 and likely all in one sitting, because sorry Netflix I know you like your monthly subs but some shows are just not able to have a split and Bridgerton was not the best show to split up into 2 lmao!!

There are 2 AI fragments we have not seen in the show.
I. Greed:
In Season 10 Episode 17 “Remember me how I was” Tex reviews the files CT had collected and stolen from Project Freelancer. In them, a glossary of the AI fragments appears. Greed and Love are both listed, but we do not see these fragments ever on screen. The Greed fragment may have been scheduled for South. Her Greed led her to do terrible things, including betray Washington later on. when an agent received an AI not compatible with them, bad things happened. Maine was not very creative or ambitious. He followed orders. Sigma was not right for him and we all know what happened there. The Director’s experiment of giving an AI to one twin and not the other would have run its course by the time South would have finally been able to receive her fragment, had the implantation schedule not been interrupted. I believe this fragment was Xi. In Season 10 Episode 6, Carolina explains that each AI was supposed to have a particular owner. Sigma was hers. I think that Xi was designated either for South, (or Georgia, but we know less about him). This video makes a case for Georgia having Xi, but if I’m not mistaken, the timing is off. When Georgia goes missing, the AI fragments were not yet created, so Georgia would not have received it prior to his disappearance.
II.Love:
Similar to above. This fragment may have been destined for CT or Florida, had the Epsilon incident not happened. Love fits with both FL and CT’s personalities, with CT having an actual romantic arc in the show, and FL generally having a light and amicable nature to him. This AI may never have been distributed. It may have been destroyed in the EMP Washington set off at the Freelancer facility, it may have been destroyed in Season 15, or it was never given away by the Director. As strange as it may sound, the V.I.C. theory has more support than it may first appear. In addition to the points outlined in the video above, In Season 14 Part 1, Agent Florida speaks to V.I.C. on the radio. V.I.C. would not have been implanted in FL as might have been planned, because of the Epsilon incident that had happened recently to that time. Instead, to prevent a potential similar situation with FL, a scenario the Director could not afford, V.I.C. was kept in a computer under Blood Gulch. However, V.I.C. still refers to Agent FL as if he is subordinate to him, and he is, in fact, an AI from Project Freelancer given to an Freelancer Agent to assist in that agent’s mission. While FL is talking to V.I.C., V.I.C. makes a mistake, referring to the canyon as a simulation outpost. V.I.C. is familiar with Project Freelancer operations, but has not yet fully learned the new code of correspondence. This makes it seem more plausible that this is not V.I.C.’s first mistake. Perhaps V.I.C. needed to relearn more than just the name of the location he is stationed. Perhaps V.I.C. was given a new name, to comport with his position in the Blood Gulch charade, V.I.C. may have even been given a new visage, as to not arouse suspicion in the simulation troopers. After all, V.I.C. appears to be in a room full of computers, but he is just a program. It is clearly and canonically an image meant to deceive the simulation troopers into thinking he is a guy at “command”. This alone should confirm that V.I.C. is more than he is presented to be. In addition, V.I.C. refers to Agent FL by his Freelancer codename, not his Blood Gulch/government name. If V.I.C. was created specifically for Blood Gulch, it is hard to imagine why he would be making all of these mistakes that seem to suggest he is closer to Project Freelancer. The strongest evidence for this theory not included in the above video however, is what he says next. He says that FL is cleared to activate Alpha in Private Jimmy’s neural implant, and that if “our” theories are correct, Alpha would not have memory contamination. This implies that V.I.C. had come to this theory with someone other than just Agent FL. He would not need to tell Agent FL this if the theory was devised by FL and V.I.C. alone. FL would already know. I would speculate that the Counselor was more involved than FL. We know it was the Counselor’s idea to use FL and send them to Blood Gulch in the first place. This is all pretty much Aiden Price’s idea.
V.I.C. goes on to say that Agent FL cannot allow Alpha to learn anything about the other fragments. Alpha is not a fragment. V.I.C. should have simply said that Alpha should not be allowed to learn anything about the fragments, if indeed there were no fragments involved in Blood Gulch.
Also, I know V.I.C. Is later referred to by Dylan Andrews as a “dumb AI” but this is both just her opinion without knowledge of his origin and this takes place long after V.I.C. is messed up in season 14(pre season 1).
-Alternatively to the V.I.C. Theory, The Director may have kept the fragment, a manifestation of his own love, in order to try to help him recreate Alison. This fragment would be a manifestation of his love for his wife and child, and apart from being useful to his quest to recreate Alison, he may well have had a hard time parting with it, as it represented something about himself that felt increasingly distant to him. This fragment would have been deleted at the end of “Dont Say it”.
III. Never implanted
The final 2 fragments were never implanted because of the incident with Agent Washington and Epsilon. But one (Xi) may still be active.
IV. Sigma’s plan:
Xi is referenced on the board in the Freelancer classroom as a necessary part of Sigma’s Metastability group (the symbol of The Meta). The files seen in “Remember me how I was” and Sigma’s on screen actions confirm that Xi is an AI fragment. Sigma even knows enough about Xi to know that this fragment is a necessary part to Sigma’s Meta plan to achieve Metastability, and recreate the Alpha. This makes sense because Sigma was involved in the “birthday” of some other AIs, so he may have had some extra knowledge about their characteristics. But notice that he does not seek every existing fragment, only certain ones. I believe this is because Sigma did not exactly want to recreate the alpha exactly as it was pre-fragmentation. Sigma wanted to recreate a version of the alpha that he(Sigma) was the head of. He wanted to be a more powerful, metastable AI, but still be in charge. This was his grand ambition. Sigma knew a lot about the other fragments, and when it was time to start collecting and take control of Maine, The Meta leaves the Mother of Invention and hunts down the other AI bearing Freelancers. If Xi was aboard the MoI, Sigma would have tried to find it before leaving, or have gone back to the wreck to retrieve it. He never does this. I think this is because Sigma was aware that Xi was not on board. Sigma never found Xi, and therefore failed his mission, but I have a theory as to where Xi might be which I’ll get into in part 2.

TW: pregnancy
Hi all. Just posting here because I want to talk about what happened to me today and don’t know what else to do. Today I went to the OBGYN for a regular visit to get my Depo birth control shot. They do a pregnancy test every time just in case. It’s never positive. I have EXTREME anxiety about getting pregnant to the point where I would have to take a test every day just to make sure I wasn’t pregnant (even if I wasn’t sexually active at the time). So today I’m waiting for the pregnancy test to go through so she can give me my shot. I overhear her telling the OBGYN that the test was positive.
I start immediately freaking out, asked them if everything was okay, and the OBGYN came back in and told me everything was fine and she doesn’t think I’m pregnant, they have to run a test again to make sure. Finally she tells me it comes back negative and I’m not pregnant. She assures me again and gives me the shot.
It’s been a few hours but my anxiety is telling me I’m pregnant. Even though I use my birth control perfectly and don’t have any symptoms of pregnancy whatsoever. I’m still freaking out. My anxiety is convincing me the first test was right and I am pregnant even though the doctor told me over and over again it came out negative. Has anyone ever experienced something like this before??

Anyone know if there’s a “Mission Control” shortcut for stage manager? Similar to the 3 finger swipe up on Mac.
I get there’s a max of 4 screens but most of the time they’re taking up 60% overlapping. I’ve googled and searched but at this point I’m assuming it’s just a “no”.
Would make this feel more like a MacBook if we could. WWDC24?

This is a vent.
Ignore this if you’re going through a hard time yourself.
I am in pain. I want it to go away, and I don’t know how.
In the span of 3 months, I have lost my great grandmother, I have broken my collarbone, I have injured my eye, I have taken finals for pre nursing, and now I am going to lose my dog tomorrow.
I am going to try and start therapy. I need it, I am incapable of coping with anything that has happened. I feel like I haven’t been able to properly mourn my Gram. I’ve been put under pressure with my job to pick up more hours. I am about to lose a dog that I’ve had since I was 7 years old.
I am in so much pain. I am a very emotional person, I have a hard time regulating my feelings and I tend to lash out in anger because I don’t have control of anything.
I’m not asking for an answer. I know what the answer is. I need to get professional help, probably medicated, and I need to just get over what’s happening. I just wish it was easier. I’ll probably delete this post in a couple hours because of my anxiety.
Losing a dog is like losing a family member. I haven’t had the time, due to stress from work, school, and friends/family to properly mourn the death of my Gram. She is the first person in my life who has passed away, and I’m having a hard time coping with it. Now I am going to lose my dog.
I’m tired, I’m angry, and I’m depressed. There is so much more I could put into this, like how I’ve been dealing with severe anxiety/depression for years and my drs can never seem to find an answer besides “here’s some medication that’s seriously going to fuck you up”. I had to take a break from the meds for a while, and felt like I wasn’t even existing. Just on auto pilot.
I’ll probably delete this soon. I just need a place to vent.

Ever wonder why Joseph & his friends had to sit in Liberty Jail for MONTHS during the winter when they hadn't been convicted of a crime?
Turns out in the 1800s, most courts only operated twice per year. So when Joseph was arrested in November, he was stuck in a jail and had no trial, no hearings, no options, until court was back in session in the following spring.
And remember, this incarceration kicked off the "Extermination Order" of Governor Boggs, which sought to exterminate or expel all Mormons from the state of Missouri. So while Joseph and other leaders are in jail they are getting reports of intense suffering endured by the saints. Beatings, rape, murder, robbery, and the worst kinds of abuse. All with no options. No rights. Just the power of the governor keeping you locked in a tiny cell because the courts can't be bothered to deal with you right now.
Man, oh man, Governor Boggs hated the Mormons. Especially Joseph Smith.
Finally, in April, Just before a trial would have to begin, Joseph was allowed to escape. Almost as if they knew they had nothing that would stick, but they could inflict 6 months of unjust imprisonment on them.
But Boggs didn't like that. He was more of a "kick out all the Mormons, but also throw them all in jail" kind of guy. He demanded Illinois arrest and extradite Joseph and others to be jailed again and face more charges. Luckily, a court found that the warrant was deficient. The saints managed to settle in Nauvoo, and Boggs was soon done as governor of Missouri.
But then someone tried to kill Boggs.
Neighbors identified somebody named Tompkins, but opponents of the church quickly asserted it must have been a Mormon, trying to get revenge.
With hostile forces gathering, Saints figured that Boggs would soon try to arrest Latter-day Saints again - even though they were now in Illinois. How to defend yourself from the power of a corrupt former governor, or illegal orders from your own governor? The saints came up with a novel idea. They created a city ordinance that allowed the municipal court to essentially examine any extradition requests, whether federal, state, or city based, under the common law of Habeas Corpus
Around that time, John C. Bennett sent letters to newspapers claiming Joseph Smith hired Orrin Porter Rockwell to assassinate Boggs.
Now with a story he could use, Boggs went to a justice of the peace to swear an affidavit that Rockwell was the shooter, and that Joseph Smith was an accessory to the attempted murder, citing "evidence and information" in his possession. (But not saying what that evidence or information was.) He used this affidavit to convince the new Missouri governor, Thomas Reynolds, to initiate the extradition process to try and bring Joseph back to the state where people were so hostile to Mormons that the jails would only release Mormon prisoners in the middle of the night due to attacks by mobs.
Receiving the demand from Missouri, Illinois governor Thomas Carlin went ahead and issued warrants without any pushback, and JS and Rockwell were arrested in Nauvoo. The two prisoners exercised their right for habeas corpus under the Nauvoo ordinance.
That stalled the arrest long enough for Joseph to enact a backup plan and reach out to the county court for the writ of habeas corpus, which was also granted.
Well now we have a pickle. We have two governors, three states (Iowa later got involved), a city marshal, a municipal court, a county court, a county constable, a sheriff, an agent of the Missouri government all barking at each other about who has authority, who can arrest who, and the rights of the accused never really given fair consideration. Looking to skip over annoying questions of law and jurisdiction, rewards were offered by the governors of Missouri and Illinois for the capture of JS and Rockwell. Mobs arrived in Nauvoo to hunt them down. For months this went on, with Joseph being shifted around from home to home to try and avoid the people who would forcibly take him to Missouri despite the writ of habeas corpus, and no higher power willing to actually look at the legality of the extradition order, or the right of Nauvoo to intercede. Things were bleak. It was like the worst days of Missouri had come again.
Really, Joseph had 2 options: submit to arrest and jail in Missouri (he knew what that was like, and rightly feared the abuses he would certainly suffer again there), or else hide until some court or government outside of mob control finally paid attention. I don't blame him one bit for choosing to hide!
A few months pass and in 1842, a former Illinois state supreme court justice was elected governor of Illinois, and the saints thought maybe they had an opening to get justice. A delegation was sent to speak with him and the US Attorney for the district of Illinois. When the US Attorney heard the details he immediately said the extradition order was illegal and requested Joseph come to Springfield to be heard before the U.S. district court - a court with Federal authority.
But how do you get Joseph to Springfield without one of these mobs or lawmen jumping him and dragging him to Missouri for that cash reward? You get the Nauvoo Legion to arrest him and escort the prisoner themselves. :D
On arriving in Springfield, hostile county officials at first refused to provide a copy of the warrant, knowing it was going to be challenged. So the Governor's office provided one and submitted the case to the district court.
Crazy arguments were made on both sides, with people arguing about jurisdiction, residency, and the facts of the alleged crime itself. Stuff that doesn't really happen today, but was common back then.
The Judge said, in essence, "Since extradition is between two states, it MUST be a federal issue and therefore heard by a federal court. (Sorry Nauvoo.) And furthermore, A governor can't just demand another state arrest somebody and send them over. The alleged criminal has to have committed a crime in that state, then ran away to another state. Joseph Smith didn't do that, so too bad, Missouri."
This ruling helped establish precedent in American extradition law, making it clear that you can't just demand somebody be extradited, even if you're a governor.
https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/introduction-to-extradition-of-js-for-accessory-to-assault/1#11046207362051668990
https://rsc.byu.edu/vol-16-no-1-2015/they-pursue-me-without-cause-joseph-smith-hiding-dc-127-128
https://byustudies.byu.edu/article/habeas-corpus-in-early-nineteenth-century-mormonism-joseph-smiths-legal-bulwark-for-personal-freedom/
Bennett and the state of Missouri would try one more time, and fail again, to extradite Joseph Smith. After which the state of Illinois would be the next source of charges against Joseph, including the charges that led to Carthage Jail.

I've read a lot on here and watched many YouTube videos but I keep seeing conflicting and confusing information in regards to my specific setup. I'm trying to connect my Ecobee (with voice control) and I can't get it to run our Rheem heat pump.
We renovated our upstairs (our main floor with kitchen) and we were living downstairs during it. We had our thermostat temporarily set up downstairs next to the furnace and everything worked great. Looking back I obviously wish I had taken pictures of the wiring! The renovation completed and the thermostat was installed upstairs. We thought it was done correctly because the heat worked, but unfortunately it was not. Well, it was just the furnace the entire time since the renovation had been completed and not the heat pump powering the heat at all. We didn't know this until we had a hot weekend last week and tried using our AC for the first time this year and it didn't work. I want to take care of this ASAP and will wire it myself vs waiting for someone to come back and fix their mistake.
Here is how they had the thermostat wired, but ignore the furnace wiring. I tried several things that I found here that unfortunately didn't work. They just left the OB wire from the thermostat not connected to anything. Why they would do that when it controls the heat pump I don't know. But it's very frustrating! They have 6 wires coming out of the thermostat but there are only 5 terminals. I tried combining the OB with the W and then tried the Y and neither worked.
Again this worked properly before, so I know our thermostat is compatible with our Rheem heat pump and furnace.
Please help!

My partner and I had sex last night. We used 3 condoms and then I stopped to give him head. After that, we resumed without a condom. He also wiped himself off because there was precum when I gave him head. I got back on top for a few more minutes then got off, where I noticed he was holding himself.. I guess to stop from cumming. We then put the third condom on and for the first time ever, he (finished in the condom while inside of me). I was on top. When I got off the condom was rolled up to tip but looked like it was still on from a glance. I do take the birth control pill (Junel Fe 1/20). I have taken at least 35 pills this month. This afternoon when I used the restroom. I noticed (Gummy / Stretchy like discharge) and now I'm a little worried. What is going on? I thought only 21 pills where need. I know I'm on the pill but we always pullout regardless. Sadly I'm a bit afraid that some cum technically got in me.
ADVICE!! PLEASE

Me: Wouldn't it be fun to wait to post this in the summer so you can say happy Christmas in July for once? Also me: that's a terrible joke. Just publish the thing.
Apologies for publishing in 2 parts. I'm not trying to drag it out I'm just aware this is the length of 2 episodes, reddit will only allow me 20 pics per post, and there's just too much going on for our beloved idiot in this one, so. I'm pacing myself.
It's not Christmas in July, it's Christmas 1919 at Downton and I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering if Mr Fellowes really wants me to believe that the Crawleys decorated the Goliath of Christmas trees themselves (they didn't, but I like that Mary was sipping her tea and offering her view on things. Queen👑 ).
Plus, the setup for this episode intro had an actual checklist:
Tree? Check
Family arriving? Check
Violet judging this year's Christmas cards and looking for the contenders for worst cards of the year (they judge them on both content, and actual card)? Check
https://preview.redd.it/ul3aegl7cv0d1.jpg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c86f2409e193f7f68461f9ca06c72c7c424af66
Anna gets a gold heart brooch from Mary and Mrs Hughes is as excited about it as she is. Also, I can see the inspo for the entire Anna/Mary tag on AO3 right here. And Mrs Hughes ships it.
Just kidding, Bates is in prison, and we're all very sad.
​
https://preview.redd.it/wxhn89x9cv0d1.jpg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04d813b9202a58a7c31f35d6b398bb6d53ced28b
Carlisle is wondering why the Crawleys are being kind to their servants by letting them have some time off at lunchtime on Christmas Day, and I'm wondering if anyone (namely, us, the viewers) is supposed to be surprised by his behaviour.
I mean, blackmailing Lavinia just because? Blackmailing Mary into an engagement with him? Trying to manipulate Anna and Carson? Being physically abusive to Mary, and trying to control her life and behaviour? Bringing Lavinia back to "sacrifice" her to a lifetime as Matthew's nurse, so Mary won't spend that much time with Matthew (not because there was something off about that, just that Carlisle didn't want her to)?
He is an asshole. He was an asshole. He will always be an asshole. Glad we're finally all on the same page.
​
https://preview.redd.it/9liw4xiffv0d1.jpg?width=599&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c42f7ad05949a4b2d705057fa92af48030b7c46
Matthew and Mary are exchanging presents behind Robert's head in one scene and I'm very upset by it. Please, if anyone has any ideas, submit what you think they got each other for Christmas.
If you need any inspiration, here's what people would buy each other as presents in the 1920s according to the British Newspaper Archives:
Lots of cigarette paraphernalia Cocktails Banjos PENCILS Dance Frocks Shaving Kits Vacuum Cleaners
Keep that list in mind if you're disappointed with your presents next year.
​
https://preview.redd.it/9y1mgw5fcv0d1.jpg?width=996&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc993eeff4617e298b7ab85b9c8266ac3f683942
Matthew got a telephone call telling him that Mr Swire is very ill, and he will got to London to visit him. Mary gives him some condolences and he says "I'm sorry if I'm casting a gloom". I have a feeling the poor man had been pretty depressed for quite long, probably perked up a bit for Christmas and thought he was bringing the mood down again, but Mary responds with compassion. Oh Matthew.
Carlisle saw Mary go after Matthew in the hall, to ask about Mr Swire, and literally took his newspaper with him and followed her out there because that's completely normal behaviour. Just picture the ridiculousness of it: Mary and Matthew talking about Mr Swire and Bates' trial, romantic themes that they are, and Carlisle is so annoyed by it he's standing there in the background. Reading a newspaper, just to make sure they know he's still around (who could forget, mate).
Also, Mary saying she'll attend Bates' trial to support Anna, and Matthew immediately going "Would you like me to go with you?". Because of course he wants to support Mary in all things.
And this is Matthew's first villainous act for the episode: He asks Carlisle "or will YOU do that?" as in, since you're here, will you be supporting Mary in this endeavour.
Of course he isn't. Carlisle could never understand the concept of being there as emotional support for a Servant. He can't even understand why one would give a servant a few hours off on Christmas Day.
And just like that, Matthew scores one point in showcasing that Carlisle is a waste of space.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 1
​
https://preview.redd.it/m927qezhcv0d1.jpg?width=996&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de05e12b244424e5fe126c6be6bab3597c83549b
Btw, Matthew has a few sets of looks reserved for Carlisle: Derision, derision, and more derision.
​
https://preview.redd.it/ujldjjrkcv0d1.jpg?width=696&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a4e7e1312a82e1632254aff103056c775a33db4
They're playing charades (aka The Game), Mary is mimicking falling down, Matthew has a front row seat to it, and they're not playing on the same team so she can't rely on him to guess. Which means he can sit back and have the time of his life.
Carlisle complains about not liking the game and I'm left to wonder why he wanted that life so much since he could find nothing to enjoy in it.
​
https://preview.redd.it/kqzfvl2ncv0d1.jpg?width=696&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7f333dbc8c9eed822751ed352061d4b13db1bdc
Mary IS still trying with him, however. He complains again on New Years Eve about the servants having some time off, and she reasons that it only happens twice a year, and he complains again that she doesn't understand because she didn't have to work for what she has.
Fellowes finally does the work on these two. I was having a conversation with another user recently, who was wondering why Mary picked Carlisle when she could have picked someone like Evelyn Napier.
Let's forget the Pamuk Scandal for a moment. Mary clearly wanted something more other than a traditional marriage. When we meet her, she's 21. She already has a husband in her pocket, if all she wanted was a position in society and a title, she'd have already been married to Patrick in 1912. But clearly, she wanted more out of life than to be someone's wife.
She wanted love, and she wanted to have something to do, whatever that was. She would have found both in Matthew, if things hadn't gone to complete shit, so why not consider Carlisle (back when he seemed normal)?
He was a working, self-made man, so he was interesting to her. He wasn't the run-of-the-mill rich boy she'd been exposed to her entire life, and if she married him she'd have a job in establishing him in London society and helping him build his empire. She'd Work, in short. She'd be allowed to use her brain.
But they don't match. At all. He offered her a marriage of convenience, and then was upset that she loved someone else, when Carlisle never offered her love in the first place. She wanted to be able to go about her life, he wanted her under his thumb to do his bidding. She was raised to have a certain respect for other people (e.g. the servants in the house), he thought that because he had money he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.
In short, they don't work together. Not even taking into account he was blackmailing her with a scandal, and Matthew was off stage left being Villainous (according to Carlisle. Villain, Perseus, it's all a matter of perspective.)
​
https://preview.redd.it/66o2xicrcv0d1.jpg?width=696&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08b375552f410b51f6721f18e06c39fd7d96c2dc
I love how they contrast Carlisle's ruthlessness with Matthew's compassion (and look how she looks up to him). Because Matthew is also a working man, but he's kind. And even though he didn't have any connection to mr Swire anymore, he stood by him in his hour of need, to the bitter end.
Speaking of contrasting Carlisle's assholery to Matthew:
​
https://preview.redd.it/knzqdmuscv0d1.jpg?width=764&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b460bc357599894b0e91b83ecac22c8c099cc4e8
Rosamund's WhatsHisFace of a suitor points out there's only three women following the shoot, and they should divide their time between the men taking part in said shoot (God forbid women are not around to entertain these assholes gents). Carlisle immediately rebuffs him before Mary can get a word in, saying "Lady Mary will stand by ME". Mary is about to, very politely, put him in his place, when Matthew comes in for his second act of Villainy so far, saying "I thought you said you'd stand by me for the first shoot, isn't that what you said?"
He doesn't push her to go with him, he's just giving her an exit plan. So that Mary doesn't have to bring herself in an awkward position in front of all those people, to defend her right to an opinion. And Mary takes it. Of course she does. She can show Carlisle he doesn't get to dictate what she does, and do so in a way that doesn't create gossip.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 2
​
https://preview.redd.it/ww46vti4dv0d1.jpg?width=676&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5eb3675bcc56f627c425424bf43ece5f994e4ae5
Look how he looks at her. He's so happy she took him up on it. Whatever else happened beyond this, they were friends. He cared for her, and she cared for him. And he has her back here, and she accepted it, so easily. And that made him happy (and so, so smug. A true Villain).
https://preview.redd.it/1fzkc8n5dv0d1.jpg?width=560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96c18b3b6203ddaebccedf3173fa4d0bb7c87619
She loves how un-selfconscious he is. She's always loved it, all those years ago at the flower show when he'd mock himself for her benefit, to make her laugh. He does it here still but now she's not surprised by it, just endlessly fond. Dozens of men spent years showing off their (probably mediocre) skills, to win her favour, and of course she'd fall for the guy who was just being honest. Mary likes honesty, she never got much of it. Her world is a show of mirrors where nothing is what it seems, and it must have been so refreshing to be with someone who was exactly what he showed the world. It's only sad that it took her so long to realise that just as she loved him for who he was, he'd do the same. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
"He does rather beg to be teased" - this asshole has been deliberately messing with Carlisle for ages, hasn't he. I've only counted 2 Villainy points, but I bet he earned himself dozens before. Whenever he'd get pissed off at something Carlisle said he'd just whisk Mary away, just to show him that he could, even if Carlisle was the fiance, Matthew was still an important person in her life, and he'd always be, and he made sure Carlisle knew that (and took great, great enjoyment in it).
Mary: The awful truth is, he’s starting to get on my nerves. Still, you’re not the person to burden with that.
Matthew: You’re still going to marry him, though.
Mary: Of course. Why wouldn’t I.
Matthew is not happy about this. He appears to not understand it, and I wish I could give him a a nice shake. Regardless of the information he doesn't have, Matthew, mate, it's not like she hasn't met other men. Like it or not, most of your lot back in the day belonged in the bin.
And Mary, as a high-society woman, didn't have a lot of options. She had to get married. And at least Carlisle wanted to buy Haxby, she'd be near her family, spend time in London. Before she'd have hoped to actually get some work done, within the capacity her marriage would allow her, but with things being as they are with Carlisle I think she's now hoping he'd be busy with his work and she could get on with her days and maybe not see much of him, as most couples of their class did. And that's not taking into account the actual reason why Mary thinks she absolutely Must marry Carlisle.
https://preview.redd.it/5u0162z7dv0d1.jpg?width=560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=792e7b9d4ab2bad74d90c90aea70b51766e0eb66
Also, Matthew, let's not pretend you'd like any man she brought home. So either take a deep breath and confess some things, or get on with it.
Carlisle asks Mary why she and Matthew were laughing together. He asks "Am I never to be free of him?" and her answer is, of course not. Because, of course not. First of all, sorry to say Richard, but, they're a package deal.
I can't see either one of them giving up the other willingly, not after all this. But of course, the main thing is the aristocracy thing. He's the head of the family, you'll see A Lot of Matthew, if you and Mary get married. And Matthew has spent almost every minute of the episode so far making sure Richard knows this. One would say, he's trying to push him out (like a villain), through his sheer presence in Mary's life.
"I might understand if you let me think for a solitary minute that you preferred my company to his."
Here's another problem: He should know, this wasn't part of their terms. Of course, he's not an aristocrat, so he's not aware of how loveless marriages of convenience work, but since it WAS a loveless marriage of convenience he was offering, I wonder why THE FUCK, he demands her attention now.
Mary would perform her duty to him. She'd be the best hostess London ever saw. She'd be the pretty wife on his arm, and she'd charm his contacts, and she'd be the stepping stone for him to be accepted in aristocratic circles, and she'd give him children and hold his house. And yes, she'd love spending time with her family, and that included Matthew.
Richard is just being a petty, controlling, fuck. Because he wants more than she's willing to offer, and he wants more than what he'd originally asked. So he, can shove it.
https://preview.redd.it/4gr6ycqldv0d1.jpg?width=854&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eeb0c9806c1b0fc1830c35c63510ee879ce480eb
Richard: I’ve done everything I can to please you.
Mary: Do you mean you bought a large and rather vulgar house?
Richard: You cannot talk to me like that! What have I done to deserve it? What?!
Would you like a list of your crimes, Richard? I've posted it a bit further above.
Also, Mary. She was hoping he'd offer her an interesting life (before he turned out to be an asshole). But all he's offered so far is the same old bullshit she's been offered all her life: A big empty (emotionless) house.
A demanding husband. A life full of constraints and limitations, set to her by a husband who expects to dictate everything she does.
It's at this point that Matthew, clearly the villain of the story, shows up because he hears Richard yelling at Mary and that just won't do.
My beloved idiot covers for Richard here. And she does it because of something she said to Matthew before "He's starting to get on my nerves, but you're not the person to burden with that."
She doesn't want Matthew to feel like he has to come to her rescue. She heard him, when he told her they can't be together (many times) in the previous episodes. And she loves him, so she's let him be. She knows he's got his own troubles, that he's been through a lot, and that shows with how she watches him walk away with a fair bit of worry in her eyes. Plus, she doesn't want him to do anything for her out of obligation. She just wants them to be friends, and friends don't solve your marital (or, in this case, pre-marital) problems. They can provide comedic relief, and support, but that's about it.
And as we said, Matthew is clearly the villain of this story.
Speaking of which, Matthew interrupted Richard's yelling at Mary so, I guess that means - Matthew's Villainy points so far: 3
​
https://preview.redd.it/l59l8gq0ev0d1.jpg?width=760&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02de326d439edbef093f1e13a560c5e2b86e8c27
Speaking of friends: Matthew will be there, for Mary (and Anna) at Bates' trial, and Mary asks to be there when he brings back Mr Swire's ashes, since the man wanted to be buried next to his daughter (who had to be buried at Downton, and not near her home in London, for maximum guilt-trip points I guess).
I love how those two care, and support each other in difficult times. It IS what friends do. Of course, Carlisle is not happy about that either. And listen, if he was in love with Mary, I'd be very understanding. I'd be telling him to cut his losses and run. I'd be empathising. But I'm like, you've been an absolute tool for years now mate, how am I supposed to see your POV, when you're basically worrying that if those two, at some point, get their heads out of their asses and realise they make a great couple, you'll lose your trophy wife you've trapped in a marriage, through sheer luck (on your end).
​
https://preview.redd.it/p22mkkf2ev0d1.jpg?width=1014&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11b4ff6babc4055d8848aa1ac476cb316b895aea
Carlisle, after that entire day of watching Mary and Matthew having a nice time out with the family, pressures Mary to set a wedding date. Mary wants to wait, I guess she hopes for some godly intervention because she definitely doesn't see any other way out of her current situation, and he goes so far as to literally grab her, and in front of her family too.
I'm finally not the only one who wants to shoot him dead. Of course, Robert won't do anything about it because when has Robert ever done anything for Mary (so far), but Matthew looks tempted.
(I had to cut out poor Carson because there's too many people on this frame as it is, but shout out to him for also worriedly watching in the background).
​
https://preview.redd.it/fqbegn84ev0d1.jpg?width=616&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5a0cd6028ee2a087f7b928f4fe2f99e9288e350
Matthew: Mary. Can I help?
Mary: After today, I won’t insult you by asking what you mean.
Matthew: You don’t have to marry him, you know. You don’t have to marry anyone. You’ll always have a home here as long as I’m alive.
First of all, I LOVE, that his reaction was to ignore Carlisle, run after Mary, and ask her if he can help. He's not offering to be a saviour. Mary doesn't need one of those (she does need to find that steel in her spine though). But he's offering to support her, and he says it in a way that implies he'd do pretty much anything she asked (Do you want to poison him? I'll help carry him to the pigs pen).
Second of all, Matthew, you absolute Idiot.
Mary supporting you in your grief, you supporting her with Bates' trial, that's normal friend behaviour.
You telling her she can LIVE with you forever, and so she doesn't have to Marry Any Man, is so, so dumb.
What is she going to live with you as, Matthew? Your cousin again? Where is the cousinl-y behaviour line drawn? Private dinners? Maybe with some candles and soft music? Holidays in Europe together?
Also, where is that imaginary limit you've put to your happiness with her for the sake of Lavinia's (very real, according to canon) ghost, mate?
You clearly seem happy enough to spend time with Mary, support her, laugh with her. Is it just the romance that's killing your mood?
Is it that that's the harshest punishment Matthew could imagine, spending his life next to Mary without actually spending his life WITH her, or is it that in spite of how much he wanted to suffer for his mistake, he just couldn't bring himself to cut ties entirely? Or is it that her happiness was more important than his self-imposed martyrdom, so he couldn't keep himself away and let her throw away her life for God knows what (her own mistake, is the answer, because they both like making themselves suffer for past sins. They've got A LOT in common).
https://preview.redd.it/wj0h1638ev0d1.jpg?width=616&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c44b9cd8749c955e7306d70f0995589bc9d940c2
Mary: Didn’t the war teach you never to make promises? And anyway, you’re wrong. I do have to marry him.
Matthew: But why? Not to prove you’ve broken with me, surely? We know where we stand. We’ve no need for...gestures.
Mary: If I told you the reason, you’d despise me, and that I really couldn’t bear.
She makes me so sad. She's so certain she'll be ruined and kicked out of her house if the scandal ever came out.
And I get it. It was how she'd been raised. And all she's heard so far is how she's "a slut" and "damaged goods" and Mary's self-image is in tatters. She doesn't view herself as anyone worth fighting for, she doesn't want anyone else to fight for her, and she won't even fight for herself, and to me that's the saddest part of all.
She's entirely defeated, has been for a long time. This entire season. She's taken every blow and hasn't dodged them at all. Welcoming Lavinia, accepting Matthew as a friend and nothing more. Being by his side when he got injured, taking care of him and accepting his rejection without a peep. Listening to him announce his wedding and helping Lavinia plan it. Baring herself to Carlisle, giving him "the tools to destroy her", willingly, to salvage the family name, and to help Bates. And later letting Matthew call her, and himself "cursed", and walking away from it, somehow. Probably because she believes it.
https://preview.redd.it/qit578gnev0d1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=051641f1ae8d012e74d70975b12d71852fa2cfbe
She told Carson, after Pamuk died, that "she knows what it means to be happy, but she knows she herself will never be happy" and she has proved to have embraced that sentiment, fully. Her despair back then is reflected here. Mary is not looking for happiness. She's just looking for cover. Some place where she can be sure she won't be hurt anymore.
She didn't believe that would be in a marriage with Matthew, and Matthew's strict morals so far, and his own self-hatred, have only further proven to her that she had been correct. She thinks that if Matthew can't excuse himself a kiss with a woman he loved, he won't ever excuse her having sex with a man she didn't love. And for all the unhappiness, all the cold comfort she sees in her future, she at least has his friendship. And how could she ever risk losing that? What would she be left with? Who else is there in the world, that supports her like he has? Her mother, who brought back Lavinia to push her away from Matthew? Her father? Who values the family above all else? Nothing. And no one. Just Matthew.
So she can bear Carlisle's cruelty, his moods and his demands. And she can bear the thought of living life on his arm to be paraded around London society for his benefit. But she can't bear the thought of Matthew thinking ill of her. Can't bear having him look at her the way her mother, or her sister did. And she's so honest here in her pain. She hasn't shown any of it, of the backloads of it, to anyone other than Anna, all season. But she can't keep it in now, after all that, in front of Matthew.
My poor broken child 💔
https://preview.redd.it/ml433re9ev0d1.jpg?width=802&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5f5814e774f11d8fcacc5f3490403708a95937e
She hears Cora yell her name and there's despair in her eyes. Even now she has family obligations to fulfil, so whatever emotional breakthrough she could have made, gets interrupted because heaven forbid she's not there for the Crawleys to play card games with.
Before I forget, Matthew goes after Mary, hoping to help her in her hour of need therefore, Matthew's Villainy points so far: 4
Matthew directs that accusatory look to Cora and I'm so proud of him for that. Cora's involvement in Mary's life has been nothing short of catastrophic. With her only saving grace being the fact that she wasn't actually willing to throw her daughter out of her house. I don't know how she gets to be so worried about the situation now, considering it's, largely, of her own making.
This whole season has been about pain and loss, in its various forms. And Mary's has been largely contained, because that's who she is, she keeps everything close to her heart, especially the things that hurt her. But it's all spilling out in this episode. There's so many things she can't contain, like Carlisle's jealousy, her own grief, at this point, after so many years. And for all those who look, it's the most obvious thing in the world, that Mary is suffering.
Well. Almost all.
https://preview.redd.it/qtclhsraev0d1.jpg?width=658&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29ef93c7e1a1cfaa5f298ab4ef36be075861574f
Robert calls Carlisle grabbing Mary in front of her family "an awkward moment", and calls Mary "tired" of Carlisle.
Yes, Robert. Of all the things Mary is feeling at the moment, tiredness is one of them. Not sure if it's the most obvious one, but with you I've learned to bring a small basket.
He also, unlike Matthew, doesn't respect Mary enough to go up to her and ask her if she needs anything from, idk, her father. Some help, some advice. He asks his wife to tell him if he's overlooked anything, and how is the answer to that not "Pretty much everything that's ever happened in this house".
And at this point, I will leave you, because we're half way through and I've already hit both my word, and my image limit. The first one is self-imposed, for the second one, send your grievances @ reddit.