I have a sinking suspicion that I might have a stomach ulcer. A couple months ago I started noticing that my stomach hurt when empty, so I’d constantly eat so I didn’t notice it as much. I feel bubbles in my stomach constantly but I’m having weird bowel movements and feel like my digestion has slowed wayyyy down (I used to poop a few hours after meals, now I feel like it takes a whole day for me to process what I’ve eaten). I constantly feel full, and my stomach feels like it’s turning all the time. Specifically the right side near my umbilicus is what hurts. Acidic and vinegary foods absolutely kill me. Sometimes I feel like it gets a little hard to breathe because of all these weird symptoms. Is this a stomach ulcer???

(Full disclosure I've not been diagnosed with CP and have never had a AP attack. Just need some advice regarding EPI).
I got diagnosed with EPI in September of '23, but I did not take enzymes as I was not in pain and all I had was some puffy loose stools (which I thought was harmless).
Retested in March of this year and still had EPI. Still no enzymes.
But come April I started having pain in my upper left abdomen. The pain is sometimes a pressure or a burning or a pinching. It wraps around my left flank and feels like it's in my colon. Not completely sure.
So I'm giving in and starting to take Zenpep for the EPI to see if it helps.
But is it possible that having poorly digested food pass through my colon for many months cause inflammation in my colon? Either by altering the microbiome or irritating the wall lining. I ask because my calprotectin came back slightly elevated at 85.
This is my current theory to explain the pain. Well not my theory, ChatGPT suggested it... Anyone else have this experience?
Other tests I've had (all clear): Abdominal CT a year ago Colonoscopy 2 years ago Endoscopy a few weeks ago
Other issues (resolved):
hyperactive gallbladder removed in November 2023
SIBO cured in April 2023

A woman is with her 7-year-old son in an amusement park full of children. Her son offers her mother a raspberry ice cream. When she sees the ice cream, she remembers that she has an intestinal problem that makes her fart huge, loud, and very smelly farts that stay in the air for 20 minutes. minutes. She, confident that the accidents would not return (This happened to her from time to time, she didn't always), ate a little of the child's ice cream, SERIOUS MISTAKE!!.
After digesting the ice cream, in 2 minutes, the woman feels discomfort in her stomach. At first it didn't irritate her that much, but the pain intensified more and more, until she couldn't stand it. And finally, the woman farted so big that it was heard very loudly, it lasted 3 minutes, the pain went away every time the fart exploded, until the woman stopped, and the fart ended. The children began to scream loudly in disgust and displeasure at the smell. "Oh, I didn't think," said the boy. "That was very strong, I shouldn't have done that" said the woman thinking and reflecting that she shouldn't have accepted that ice cream.

Seriously. Guys who text really full on with two questions PLUS three pictures, don't get a response immediately, send a "?" themed message to question you not responding, then send another sour grapes message saying essentially "too bad, you seemed cool". All within 24hrs.
Oh...my God!!!!?
Give a person a chance to digest your ambush first before writing them off. Holy crap!!

Long story short my son was born at 27 weeks, 3 weeks in he had NEC and needed a life saving abdominal surgery. Thankfully he made it and had a stoma for 6 weeks. 3 months later he’s had 3 surgeries. The last one was a stoma reversal. He’s healed nicely from that and I was hoping we are at the end of our journey as he started tolerating breastmilk and we were on regular daily increases. I was speaking to some nurses and weekend dr’s and they predicted another week or 2 max and he would be discharged. Everything was going so well I actually believed it.
Today he’s reached his breastmilk limit of the amount his guts are able to digest. I didn’t know that was a thing, Aparently this is expected and dr’s were waiting for it. He’s still on TPN through a long line. He’s had one since he had his stoma and it makes up the nutritions he needs whenever he couldn’t have milk or full feeds. So now we are discussing adding peptijunier to help reduce the TPN since w can’t add anymore breastmilk. But we need to see if he even tolerates it. Last option is that he needs the TPN long term. But the TPN is stressing his liver and we need to get him off of it when possible.
My question is does anyone know of similar cases and what the outcome was ? I don’t want to be caught off guard again and I really am trying to understand possible futures. Whenever I ask they tell me to focus on today. But I would be much stronger if I’m prepared. Is there a scenario where he lives on TPN? Do they grow out of it? Is this a life long issue? What possible complications would he encounter with his liver ? Is this another problem I should research?
I’m just looking for similar stories and their outcomes where I can search and read up on a few keywords.

Ok. This is a gross subject. But I’m reaching out for advice/insight.
I’ve been on wegovy for a little while, just starting the 1.7.
I’ve always had normal bowel movements (averaged one a day). In layman’s terms I understand wegovy slows down your digestive system….I’m only pooping like every 3 days. When it happens it’s like childbirth….well, not exactly (I assume), but it’s an event nonetheless….and (sorry) it’s one massive hard stool, that can sometimes clog a toilet.
I am on a protein forward diet. I haven’t gone full bore on hardcore laxatives, but I’ve upped my water intake and I’m about to start taking an OTC stool softener.
Is anyone else experiencing this? If so, what are you doing?
Thanks.

30F 5’9 SW: 218, CW: 203, GW: 180
I'm on week six (seventh dose tomorrow) and I have never felt so good.
Last week I had a huge wake up call with my doctor, stating that I have hashimotos thyroiditis and I drastically needed to change my diet in order to get rid of my already existing stomach issues and inflammation (two colonoscopies deep in 2023), and of course sema was not helping the constipation.
I walk 10k steps a day, drink a gallon of water a day and now on a strict anti inflammatory diet which includes no gluten, dairy, soy, eggs, beans, lentils, and the list goes on (also pescatarian by choice), but there were only three things that keep me flowing:

• Golden Aloe 100mg (200:1 Concetrate) by Carlson: One three times a day
• Triphala by Organic India: Two, two times a day
• Digestive Enzmes Ultra by Pure Encapsulations: Two before dinner
• Core Para-V Blend by Energetix: before bed, 10 drops working up to the full dose

LET ME TELL YOU. Things have been slipping out like a slip and slide with extra dawn soap.

I’ve been very stressed lately, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I keep eating, non stop. Even when I’m full, I eat so much I feel sick and I can physically FEEL food sitting on top of my stomach because I can’t digest it fast enough to make room. It’s been giving me nocturnal panic attacks, because all the food and stomach acid is causing heart palpitations. I shock myself awake because it feels like my hearts going to stop.
HOW DO I AVOID OVEREATING! I just keep eating without noticing it. :(

Details such as names, dates, and locations have been altered to protect myself and the people of my town, but the story is true.
Everybody in my area knows about Kit Jenson, the Crazed Contortionist. A moniker he posthumously earnt after butchering his wife and taking his own life. The deranged man was a performer. An artist, he would have said. Jenson frequently put on a mesmerising contortionist display at the old theatre in Greentree. A show that was loved, though he was an oddball.
Still, in spite of what folk call him, he did not slaughter Mandy Jenson in a performative way. There was no display of gratuitous grandeur. The two bodies were not packed into some poky space, like a pair of contorted sardines. He beheaded his wife and threw himself from a sixth-floor balcony.
They both died on Tuesday 10^th May, 2022. I know that because I’ve researched it extensively. Read and re-read articles until my eyes throbbed. Just to ensure that I’ve not entirely lost my marbles. There's no denying it. They’ve been gone for two years.
That’s why I don’t understand the calls I received on Friday 24^th May, 2024. Calls that all stemmed from a town I shall call Greentree.
~Call 1 – 12:40pm~
Operator: 999. Police. What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: Hello. I, erm… I should’ve called earlier, but I just didn’t get it. And now something’s happened. Something awful. Erm, my… My name’s Ian Poole. I work at the care home off Broad Street. Know the one?
Operator: Yes, I do. What’s happened, Ian?
Caller: Well, a few of the folk in the east wing have been acting bizarrely all day. There was an incident, and… Well, they’re starting to frighten me. Frighten all of us.
Operator: I see. What was the incident, Ian? Why did you call the emergency services?
Caller: One of the residents seriously injured someone. It was Mr Harrison, one of our oldest residents. He… Oh, God. He broke Mrs Renley’s legs. I don’t… I don’t…
Operator: Okay. Breathe for me, Ian. It’s going to be okay. I’ll dispatch officers, but I have to ask whether Mr Harrison has pre-existing mental health problems?
Caller: Well, of course he does. You understand the nature of this place, right? It’s a home for dementia patients. Not a retirement village.
Operator: I understand that, Ian. Do you understand why I asked the question? When it comes to crimes committed by dementia sufferers, such incidents rarely result in court action. The patient has no knowledge of what they’re doing.
Caller: Yes, I know. Shit, I’m not trying to throw Mr Harrison in prison. I’m trying to protect everybody. He’s… We sedated him, but now Mrs Renley’s not herself either. I know what you’re thinking. Obviously, she’s not herself, given her injured legs. But it’s the opposite of what you’d expect. She… She should be in pain, but she’s not. She’s just not herself. And this madness is like a disease. It’s spreading throughout the wing. I don’t want to stay in here. None of us want to stay in here.
Operator: Okay. I’ve dispatched some officers, and the ambulance service has been notified. But tell me what happened, Ian. I’m not getting the full picture.
Caller: I know. It’s hard to say what happened though. I saw it, and I still don’t understand. It was a frightening morning. I’m the manager here, but I didn’t arrive until ten. And my co-worker, Susan, was flustered. She’d been crying because Mr Harrison called her a rude name. Well, what’s new there? That’s what I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud, of course. Anyway, Susan said that Mr Harrison was behaving even more strangely than usual. To give you some context, he… He often speaks in broken sentences, he’s practically immobile, and he doesn’t recognise his loved ones. That’s the level of his deterioration. But today, he’s been lucid. Very lucid. He even got up and strolled around. I’ve not seen him walk more than two steps in months.
Operator: Right. How did this lead to an altercation with Mrs…?
Caller: … Renley. Right. Well, she was complaining about Mr Harrison’s incessant chattering. Not a new complaint, mind you. See, he’s always chattering, but it’s usually jumbled nonsense. That’s what I’m trying to explain to you. Today, he’s been speaking in complete sentences, and he’s been saying horrible things. Things that make my skin crawl. I don’t know why. It was nothing particularly threatening, but I feel… He feels dangerous. Well, clearly he’s dangerous.
Operator: What exactly happened between Mr Harrison and Mrs Renley? How did the assault occur?
Caller: Lenny said that Mr Harrison had been ranting for a while. He even wrote down some of the things Mr Harrison was saying, before things became volatile. ‘I am endless.’ That’s one of the things he’s written. What else? Erm… ‘I will endlessly be the greatest artist there has even been. The true one. The stage never dies. I must persist.’
Operator: Right. Mr Harrison said a lot, didn’t he? I hope you don’t take offence, Ian, but none of those sentences sound particularly lucid to me. It sounds exactly like the jumbled rant of a dementia sufferer. Words that mean nothing at all.
Caller: No. I work here every day. Trust me. That wasn’t normal. Look, I get what you’re saying. And you’re right, in a sense. People say and do the strangest things in this place. Things that’ll break your heart or set your hairs on end. But residents often regress to the people they once were, and none of those words match the man that Mr Harrison used to be. He wasn’t a poet or a performer. He didn’t speak eloquently or care for the arts. Back when he used to speak clearly, he didn’t speak like that.
Operator: Ian.
Caller: Fine. I understand. You might be right. After all, we thought the same. I would’ve dismissed it. So would’ve Susan. In fact, we did dismiss it. She dried her eyes, pulled up her bootstraps, and came to the canteen with me. We heard some commotion, and that was when it happened.
Operator: The assault?
Caller: Yeah. Mrs Renley said something Mr Harrison didn’t like. ‘It wasn’t a good show’. According to Lenny, at one point, the man had been doing yoga. Susan and I found that hard to believe, as he’d hardly moved for months. Anyway, Lenny was already heading over to Mr Harrison when Susan and I entered the room, as things were becoming a little too heated.
Operator: What was Mr Harrison saying?
Caller: He called Mrs Renley an ‘uncultured swine without the intellect to digest true art’. Now, this is what I mean. I know you don’t know Mr Harrison, but he was a typical bloke. A man of few words. Even when he could talk in full sentences, a year or so ago, he did not speak like that. He hasn’t been himself today. Almost as if somebody else were… Never mind.
Operator: Right. Okay. What about the assault, Ian?
Caller: Oh. Sorry. I’m just… I’m trying to avoid talking about that. Look, I’ve already said what happened. He broke her legs.
Operator: Yes, but I need to know more than that. That’s a very serious assault. Did Mr Harrison use a weapon? You said your co-worker, Lenny, was in the room. Then you and Susan were in the room. Three members of staff. One perpetrator. A man who you told me was mostly immobile. ‘Practically’ immobile, you said. So, why didn’t any of you manage to stop him?
Caller: Our residents have no access to dangerous things. Don’t try to turn this into an investigation of Greentree Nursing Home. We operate things properly here.
Operator: I’m not accusing you of anything, Ian. I’m trying to understand how on Earth this happened. So, if he had no weapon, how did Mr Harrison break Mrs Renley’s legs?
Caller: I… I don’t… I don’t want to say. When are the responders getting here?
Operator: In a few minutes. And you don’t have to talk to me, but at some point, you’ll have to answer detailed questions about the incident. You have a duty of care to those residents, and given that such a serious assault occurred whilst three members of staff were present–
Caller: – He used his bare fucking hands. Okay? He… Mr Harrison snapped Mrs Renley like a fucking twig. One leg after the other. Snapped each limb upwards, far past breaking point. I'm looking at her right now. The bones are protruding. There’s blood everywhere. Our trained nurse applied tourniquets and bandaged the wounds, so she says that should’ve stopped the blood loss. Mrs Renley should be okay until the responders arrive. Physically, anyway. I thought about asking for an ambulance when I rang 999, but… Look, we wanted the police. We’re scared. We thought we… Oh, I don’t know anymore.
Operator: Don’t worry about that, Ian. I’ve dispatched an ambulance as well. What have you done with Mr Harrison? Does he pose a threat to any residents or members of staff?
Caller: No. We were scared of him at first. Don’t worry. He’s… He’s fine. No threat to any of us. We gave him some Lorazepam to calm him down a little. He’s in his room, and a member of staff is watching him. We’re scared of Mrs Renley now. She’s started sounding like him. Talking about performing on stage. And some of the others have started saying odd things. But Mrs Renley scares me the most. She told me that she ‘could bend her legs a little farther, if I’d just give her a stage’. I don’t… I don’t understand any of this.
Operator: Right… I… Thank you, Ian. Do you want to stay on the phone until the responders arrive? The paramedics should be there before the police. Any second now, in fact.
Caller: Yes, I hear the sirens outside, but I think I should hang up. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I want to go to sleep.
Operator: Okay, Ian. The paramedics will help. I promise.
Call ended at 12:18pm.
Responders arrived to find that five of the residents in the east wing had passed from heart attacks, including Mr Harrison and Mrs Renley. Several others are still in hospital.
When I received this call at the beginning of my shift, it horrified me. I was struggling to come to terms with the thought of such a vicious assault, though I’d heard of worse things. Once, a killer confessed his crime to me. Yet, somehow, this frightened me more than any other call. Something about the dread in the voice of Ian Poole. It was contagious. A disease, like he said.
And it was only the first crumb of Friday’s awful events. Events which took place on a date that carried no significance, though I’ve spent days searching for answers. Searching for whatever ties everything together. I’ve found only one horrible link.
Kit Jenson.
~Call 2 – 3:24pm~
Operator: Police. What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: A strange man is following me home.
Operator: Okay. How long has he been following you?
Caller: Since I left school. Oh, God, he’s still there. He’s still there.
Operator: Okay. It’s all going to be okay. I’m going to send a police officer out to you. Just stay calm for me. Which school was this?
Caller: Greentree High School. My name’s Cora Ashburn.
Operator: Thank you, Cora. Okay. Where are you right now? Is there anyone else around? A group of people who seem safe, perhaps?
Caller: I’m on a street with lots of houses. Wait. Why? Should I do something? Should I knock on a door? I don’t… He’s so close. He’s so close. He seems to be getting closer, no matter how quickly I move. Shit. What’s wrong with him?
Operator: Stay calm, Cora. Do you–
Caller: – What’s wrong with his body? There’s something wrong with his body.
Operator: Do you know the name of the street, Cora?
Caller: Yeah, it’s Crescent Drive. Off Main Street.
Operator: Thank you. The police are coming, okay? And I wasn’t suggesting that you start knocking on doors. I need you to keep walking, okay? Do you see anybody on the pavement?
Caller: Oh, God.
Operator: I’m sorry. I don’t want to frighten you. Breathe for me, Cora. It’s all going to be okay. A responder is on the way, all right? We’re only five minutes from your road. Have you seen anybody else on the street?
Caller: I don’t know. I’m walking, like you said. I don’t want to stop. I’m just moving. He’s so fast though. He’s on his [inaudible]. I don’t know. What is he doing? He doesn’t look real. He looks… His spine is bent. His arms. I’m losing my fucking [inaudible]. I don’t know [inaudible]. Shit.
Operator: Just a few minutes, Cora. You should hear the sirens in the distance. Do you hear them? They’re close.
Caller: I see someone. I see someone in the playground. Should I go to them?
Operator: As long as you stay nearby, Cora. The responders need to be able to easily find you. Who have you seen in the playground? It’ll help to make you identifiable when the responders arrive. A girl in a Greentree uniform, and…?
Caller: It’s a woman. Hey. Help. Help me. A man’s following me. He’s… Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no. What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with you?
Call ended at 3:27pm.
When responders arrived at 3:29pm, they did not find Cora Ashburn. Four days later, she is still missing.
After sweeping the playground beside Crescent Drive, officers found a threadbare cardigan knotted onto two interlinking bars of a jungle gym. Something that only warranted attention because its remaining strands had mostly unravelled from a gaping hole in the centre. Worst of all, upon closer inspection, it appeared to be blood-stained.
After the evidence was brought into the station, an investigating officer recognised the item of clothing from an old case. It was the cardigan found on the corpse of Mandy Jenson. A cardigan that was discarded once the case had swiftly, and decisively, been closed. Two years earlier.
~Call 3 – 6:16pm~
Operator: Police. What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: He’s, erm… He’s got… Oh, he’s wrong, man. He’s all [inaudible] wrong. Like, [inaudible] head’s gone. Head’s coming off, mate. Know what I mean? Y’know?
Operator: Sorry, I didn’t understand any of that. You’re slurring. What’s the emergency?
Caller: Hey, love. Are you okay? Is that [inaudible]? Why are you crying, love? Oh, shit. Did he do that to you? Did he [inaudible]? Fuck me. Fuck.
Operator: Are you okay? Who else is with you? Please tell me what’s happening.
Caller: Don’t… Don’t [inaudible] hang up. I have an emergency. I do. This lass has been… She’s having a rough night, mate. She’s having a… Shit. Fuck.
Operator: Take a deep breath. Just tell me what’s happening. Slowly. Calmly.
Caller: I’ve had a bit to drink.
Operator: I can tell.
Caller: Sorry, I just [inaudible].
Operator: I really need you to speak clearly. What has happened to the woman you mentioned?
Caller: It’s this guy. He was hassling [inaudible]. He was, like, off. Just fucking off. Didn’t really see him. I felt it though. This tall fella. Weird [inaudible] figure. Some creep who vanished when a bunch of us came out of the [inaudible]. Don’t know where he went, but she’s just… She’s [inaudible] rough. He hurt her. There’s so much fucking blood.
Operator: Right. Okay. A man hurt a woman. Where are you?
Caller: In the centre of [inaudible]. Near The Old Arms. In the [inaudible]. The, erm… Where the cars park. The… The car park. Around the back of the pub, y’know?
Operator: I know the pub. Okay. I’ll be sending emergency responders to your location. Stay on the phone, and please do not leave the woman on her own. Are any other people there?
Caller: The others went home. I told the landlord, but he’s gone. Don’t know [inaudible]. Don’t want to leave her. Y’know? There was another woman, but [inaudible] left.
Operator: Do you think I’d be able to talk to the injured woman? Or would you be able to talk to her, at least? Just until the paramedics arrive. Is she breathing? You’ve not described her injuries.
Caller: I, er, [inaudible]. She’s twitching, but she isn’t, like, gonna… She isn’t gonna talk, mate. Her mouth’s all… The man broke her jaw, and she’s just… Do you hear [inaudible]?
Operator: I hear another voice. Is that her?
Caller: Yeah, she’s… I tried to talk to her, but she didn’t [inaudible] words. She just… Oh, shit. Oh, shit, shit, [inaudible]. Where does the [inaudible]? Fucking [inaudible].
Operator: Hello? Are you okay? What’s happening? I’ve dispatched some officers. They’re already in the town centre. Only a couple of minutes away from the pub. Please stay on the phone. Tell me what’s happening.
No intelligible words.
Call ended at 6:25pm
For the remainder of the call, though I tried to communicate with the man, I heard only muffled noises. Crunching and what almost sounded like howls of agony, though the connection was garbled. I pretended that the sounds were perfectly explainable, but that didn’t ease the knot in my gut. I knew something was dreadfully wrong.
Responders arrived at 6:25pm, finding the phone of Robert Anderson outside The Old Arms. And Officer Jeffrey Ross claimed that he had seen something in the alley beside the establishment. The body of a man being ‘misshapen’ by a figure in the darkness. Misshapen. That was the word he used repeatedly.
Officer Isabelle Donaldson didn’t see what her partner alleged to have seen. It was ‘there one moment and gone the next’, in Officer Ross’ words. And he called the alleged figure at the end of the alley ‘recognisable’. Ross told investigators that the perpetrator’s ‘costume’ reminded him of the one Kit Jenson used to wear for his performances at Greentree Theatre.
~Call 4 – 9:19pm~
Operator: Police. What’s your emergency?
Caller: Oh. I needed an ambulance.
Operator: Okay. Well, I –
Caller: – Shush. I need a little bit of quiet, please.
Operator: What is the nature of your–
Caller: – I said ‘shush’.
Operator: I’m afraid I won’t shush. This is an emergency line. Would you like me to patch you through to the ambulance services?
Caller: Maybe I do need the police.
Operator: Okay. What’s happened? What’s happening?
Caller: No, forget it. Forget it. I spoke out of line. It’s… Oh, hello, Kit.
Operator: Is somebody else there? What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I said I was sorry. I said I was sorry. I said I was sorry. I said I was sorry.
Operator: Are you okay? Please tell what’s happening. I want to help. Are you not able to talk right now? Is that the problem?
Caller: You’re right, Kit. I didn’t understand your art. Oh, I just didn’t understand, but I do now. I’m sorry I didn’t applaud. Yes. No, of course. The town deserves it. Every last one of us. You’re right. You’re right. You’re right. You’re–
Operator: – Miss, who is in the room with you? Would you be able to give me some sign that you’re in danger? A code word, perhaps? How about ‘house’?
Caller: I’m not ignoring you, sir. I was just talking to him. You will be able to help me. I need somebody to come and find me, so the place doesn’t smell afterwards, you see. It would be a shame for the smell to tarnish the place. Like it did when she…
Operator: Are you having thoughts? What is your state of mind right now? If you give me your location, I –
Caller: – Round Mills. Apartment 201. Yes, I know, Mandy. I know. But he makes such a beautiful point. You see, if I try and fail, I will finally appreciate his art. That’s all he wants. Just a little appreciation. It’s the only way, Mandy. The only way.
Splintering sounds were audible.
Operator: Miss? Miss? What’s happening? I’ve dispatched an ambulance and a couple of officers to your location. If you tell me what’s happened to you, I might be able to help. It’ll certainly help the paramedics.
More splintering sounds were followed by a distant scream.
Caller: Oh. Yes. Yes, you were right, Kit. I got it all wrong. My legs don’t bend that way. Not like yours. My arms. No, I’m not like you, Kit. Not the Incredible Kit. Not the… Oh? Yes, I suppose I should try that too. Yes. I’ll try bending my neck. If I just –
One final splinter sounded.
Call ended at 9:27pm.
Quiet followed the woman’s unfinished sentence. Not silence.
I heard the sound of applause. The slight patter of a person’s slow, measured claps, muffled by the bad reception of the call. And sobbing. Two terrible noises that immediately ceased when the front door of the apartment burst open.
Responders found nobody in the apartment but Rachel Jenson, the sister of Mandy Jenson. Rachel was mangled in a way that made one paramedic vomit, and I’ve been told no more than that. I only learnt of the aftermath, detailed in this post, through a friend of mine who works at Greentree Police Station.
I keep thinking about the scream that I heard. One that, I am certain, did not come from Rachel Jenson. She sounded joyous. Her voice became increasingly unhinged as she brutally contorted her body into sickening configurations.
Thinking about it, I do remember Kit’s final show being quite lacklustre. A performance that took place shortly before his death. I didn’t attend, but I heard from other Greentree residents that he fumbled the finish. Kit attempted to escape from a box in a contorted position, but he failed. His wife had to assist him. There was no applause. Only concerned murmuring from the crowd.
People had speculated for years that something wasn’t quite right with the man, and that’s why I keep thinking about what Rachel said. What Ian said. What all of the callers said. Stories of adoration. Appreciation. Rejection. Anger.
Things make a little more sense, when viewed from the right angle. These stories serve as interlinking pieces of a puzzle, forming the picture of a man who might’ve wanted to punish those who did not applaud his disappointing performance. A disgruntled artist’s revenge against the town that dismissed him. A wife who dismissed him.
In truth, Kit Jenson was simply a sick man. People had heard the whispers about his abusive tendencies for years. All it taken was one bad day to push him over the edge. So, such a man would surely want to hurt all those who did not appreciate him. Not only Mandy.
However, even if that were the case, it wouldn’t explain the entirety of that dreadful day of calls. Kit Jenson died two years ago.
Who, or what, did people see in Greentree?

I am a fan of the group since debut and also a lore enthusiast. I think that is one of the reason why I liked the group coz I think they are really unique from their peers also their music is weird but interesting. I have been waiting for their 1st full length album for a long time and honestly, I did not expect that this would be the path that they are going to take.
All the songs in the album is nice. Vocals are on point, rapping is nice, the whole productions is good but the album is quite lost. Track 5 to 10 doesn't feel like it belongs to the album because the songs feels so light and cute. Before, when they release minis, I kinda expect them to have those type of songs coz their album roll out before focuses on the real word and kwangya. That's why them having non-lore based songs is expected. This album lacks a representation of their human side coz their team focused so much with the aesthetic. Making them full blown aliens with super powers kinda strip that human side they are showcasing with their past releases. That's why hearing tracks 5 to 10 is weird coz it doesn't match the album vibe.
About the songs...
The stand out song is obviously supernova coz it captures the groups identity very well. Armageddon is nice but its's bit bland because I feel hip hop is not the group's strongest suit. Mine and set the tone sounds like a song nct would release ( i love nct btw) and prologue and bahama could past as a RV song. All the songs are nice it's just it feels like sm just song dumped.
Their first album was suppostedly after their 2nd mini but SM split them into two so we got my world and drama which if the songs there will be put into one, I think it would be more cohesive. Coz my world is still in line with their lore coz it represents their human side. So songs that are light are actually a good touch to the album. Also what I miss before is their subtle inclusion of the dangers of social media throughout their whole concept which matches their debut concept very well. The only thing I appreciate this time is the budget for the mvs and the whole roll out for this come back. Also, the members improved so much especially their dancing. And ofcourse, the CDP version is one of the best things I've seen in a while. Nice one to C1.
Again, I am just lowkey sad for whatever happened to their lore and the music coz I feel it's definitely easier to digest now unlike before. Also the moment they stripped the kwangya lyrics from their songs, It gave them more public appreciation ( started from spicy and went through the roof with drama) which I think is very beneficial for them. tho I miss their weird storytelling on their songs. The yoo young jin special they say.
Also I miss their aes. The sassy ae-karina lol Anyway, I am happy that this cb is successful even it's bittersweet coz they gained more fans the moment they stripped the lore out their songs... no naevis, no kosmo, no synk dive, no smcu episodes nor the usage of pos. Anyway, good for them. It seems like this route is working upon their favor.

Advice feels so incredibly impractical sometimes.
Get a 2nd, 3rd job, change careers, donate plasma, door dash!
I’m exhausted and my doctor wants me to slow down and reduce stress and increase rest. My systems (digestive, immune, mental health, hormones, thyroid) are all starting to get haywire, and I need rest and rebuild before I can live a nose-to-grindstone life. I would like to avoid having these issues turn full-blown. Stress and lack of time for healthy habits is a massive trigger.
I want to change careers! I make $20/hr now with few benefits and little room for growth. But I’ll need to work full-time while career-changing. But, see above point... I’m tired! A second job, on top of a full-time job, on top of grad school, on top of doing everything myself to save money (meal prepping, fixing things). AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO EVER SLEEP?
I had picked out a very affordable and skill-oriented grad program, but recent data shows a steep drop in hiring in these fields in the past 2 years (tech writing, ux design, related stuff etc). I’m very cautious about picking a career change at this age (mid 30s) as there is much less room for error. Feels unwise now to try and get into these fields, although I think they'd be a good match. But I do not have the brain to be a statistician, nor do I want to be a nurse, or home health aide lol. Call me crazy, but working shit jobs has caused so much stress that it is very iMpOrTaNt to me to build a career that fits better with my personality and natural skill set. This way I can actually build up some earnings!

• So if not that, I don’t know what field to get in to, and I want to have joy in my life as much as I also want enough financial security to eat more than rice and beans.
• I need money to take care of my life. I haven’t been able to take care of things or myself as there is never any extra, and over time that catches up to you. I am running out of steam.
• I planned to take out of an old 401k to help get on my feet. Everything online screams not to do it. And I get that. But I am at a breaking point mentally, physically, emotionally.
• I need to take care of health things and have a small amount of time to not overdo it. I need to build confidence and get on my feet. I need money to do some of these things.
• I have researched taking a 401k loan. Not sure that I’d even qualify. And even if I did... my concern would be paying it back. Rent is so expensive and wages are so low in so many fields, ofc esp entry-level (as a career-changer) -> I don’t know how I’d pay it back. I feel after changing careers, for awhile, I’d be lucky to afford rent and basic bills.
• I have a bachelor’s in a field I don’t have it in me to continue working in (social services). It’s a terrible fit for me and I desperately want to be in a different field.

I feel so broken down in this life. I would love to invest in myself a bit and change careers to something that feels sustainable for the next few decades. It’s really not about just getting a better-paid job. I heard a quote that a good job can change your life, and this is so true to me. “Good” doesn’t mean I expect fun everyday. I just wanted to be treated human, do stuff that works with my skill set (to avoid crazy burnout), and not have crazy work stress.
I don’t know where to get money to do any of this. I was going to use some 401k but I know 99% of advice says this is objectively terrible to do. I am so out of steam I just can’t burn the candle at both ends for years on end. I will die. This isn’t said to be dramatic. I’m just that tired and not sure how to create enough of what I hope to get out of life. Working for pennies and living in a shit apartment for the next 30 years without even enough to afford a cat for some company is just totally existentially depressing to me.
I’m desperate enough to not really care what too many people say. I have sort of resigned to retirement likely being out-of-reach, so I guess I’m “okay” with running out of money by 60 and then suiciding. But fees/taxes on 401k means it will just drain so fast, and if I haven’t created a career that can pay the bill by then... yikes. I just don’t want to to be 45 and further broke(n).
Does anyone have useable advice?
It's such a beautiful world in so many ways and I'd love to figure out how to partake in it. Yes, I'm already in therapy :)

INTRODUCTION

I have been using Moonlight/Sunshine over the last few months and been blown away by this amazing technology. The ability to use my pc as what is essentially an on-demand gaming server is pretty incredible.
However, as I'm sure most of you have noticed, the experience is not without its problems straight out of the box - depending on your requirements. Over the last week, I have been experimenting with different configurations and scouring the internet for advice and optimisation guides on how to perfect my Moonlight/Sunshine experience.
I now believe I have reached a point where Moonlight is virtually indistinguishable from playing games natively on the host machine and I wanted to share my advice and settings with you, as well as address some of the most frustrating problems I faced and how I have all but perfected the performance and fidelity of my streaming experience.
I am not a developer nor do I have particularly advanced knowledge of encoding/decoding and streaming, so I will be writing this in an easy to digest way with those similar to myself in mind - avid gamers who just want a great looking and feeling Moonlight experience.
I will also not ask you to dive into .config files and start manually changing parameters. All the settings I use are set using the standard Sunshine/Moonlight interfaces or other menu screens on Windows that I am sure you are familiar with.

MY SPECS

HOST:
Gaming PC/Sunshine Server CPU: Ryzen 3900x GPU: NVIDIA RTX 3080 RAM: 32gb 3600MHz OS: Windows 11 22H2
CLIENT:
Apple Mac Studio CPU: M2 Max Silicon GPU: M2 Max Silicon RAM: 32gb OS: macOS Sonoma 14.5
PERIPHERALS:
HOST DISPLAY: Virtual EDID Display Adapter (important, I will come back to this) CLIENT DISPLAY: Acer Predator x34gs 3440x1440 144hz MOUSE: Logitech G604 (2.4ghz dongle connected to client) KEYBOARD: Keychron K10 (Bluetooth connected to client) (brown switch gang)
SUNSHINE:
Version: 0.23.1 - latest version as of writing this.
MOONLIGHT:
Version: 5.0.1
NETWORKING:
Wired:
I have my Gaming PC and Client Mac directly connected via link local (ethernet to ethernet) using a USB 3.0 network adapter on my host PC. This is probably overkill, but it's basically to remove any chance of network jitter, dropped frames or bandwidth limitations. Having your devices wired via a router will achieve the same results in terms of wired stability, given your routers total bandwidth limitations can handle the all the traffic in your household as well as streaming games.

WHAT THE POINT OF THIS GUIDE IS

As you can see, I'm not using the latest and greatest Intel chip or a 4090 on my host machine in my setup. I'm using a Mac as a client machine, which is arguably inferior in a multitude of ways in regard to the way Moonlight decodes and performs (yes, I know the M2 is still a beast, however Macs are not the most widely accepted devices used as clients). I am also using my KB via BT which is also not the most efficient or widely used set up for gaming - streaming or native.
I say all this is highlight the fact that I am not using some super high end or niche configuration in order to achieve great results. You could easily swap out any of the things listed for a less powerful component or device, and I promise you will still see amazing results.
Keep in mind that this guide will not boost performance where it physically cannot be boosted. You will not see higher fps or lower input lag than you are already seeing when using your setup natively. All this guide will assist you with is trying to create a 1:1 experience when using Moonlight and Sunshine. You are still at the mercy of your own hardware, so your mileage may vary.
I will split the guide into Sunshine, Moonlight, Host Machine and Client Machine, as well as address what issues these said settings fix, so read on and you might find the answer you've been searching for.
I will also assume that you have installed Sunshine and Moonlight on your devices, as I will not be covering how to set these up - there are plenty of guides out there showing this.

SUNSHINE

Starting with a fresh install of Sunshine on your host machine, these are the configuration settings that I have changed moving from left to right along the tabs.
GENERAL: all untouched - except for max clients as this is personal preference.
INPUT: all untouched - except for gamepad type: X360. This is again personal preference
AUDIO/VIDEO: all untouched - however it is a good idea to manually add your client displays resolution and FPS here if it is not already listed to ensure that the moonlight application itself is running at the same settings as your host/game/display.
NETWORK: all untouched
CONFIG FILES: all untouched
ADVANCED: Force specific encoder: NVIDIA NVENC
This will obviously depend on your host machines GPU and your preferred encoding method. As I am using a 3080, I use NVENC. I tried both quarter and full resolution two pass modes, but saw and felt no real benefit so I left it at default.
NVENC ENCODER: Performance Preset: P4
I played around with each of the presets to see which provided the best quality to latency experience and landed on P4. This will, again, depend on your host machines GPU capabilities, but I recommend playing with each one until you feel a noticeable amount of input lag or performance loss, then back it off 1 level.
INTEL/AMD/SOFTWARE ENCODING: These were all untouched as I am not using these methods, but if you are using any of these - make sure to force that specific encoder in the advanced tab, and play around with the presets and usage until you see a quality boost that doesn't impact your gameplay.
It may seem like these settings don't differ much from your own, but this isn't where any of the main issues I was having were fixed, just make sure to use the right encoder for your host, and set the relevant performance and latency settings to what's best for you.

MOONLIGHT

Starting with a fresh install of Moonlight, let's cover the settings I am currently using - but I will first go over how I have connected the client to Sunshine.
As I am using a wired link local, both devices now have a self assigned 169.254.x.x IP address. I also have my client machine connected to wifi for internet, as well as my host wired to the router via the motherboards ethernet adapter. I made sure to check both devices network settings and made note of each of these 4 IP addresses.
In the settings window, I have unticked the "Automatically find PCs on the local network" option. The reason for this is that while both my devices are directly connected, they are also sharing the same router for internet access and the host can therefore be discovered by the client via wifi. Disabling this option forces you to enter the IP address of the host and by entering the 169.254.x.x address, I now know for a fact that my connection is 1:1 and won't accidentally fall back to connecting via the router.
In most peoples situations, all of their hardwired devices will be running via a router only, but it is somewhat common (especially with Macs) to have wifi enabled as well as a LAN connection so disabling this auto discover setting is still helpful in knowing that the connection between host and client is the correct one you have chosen.
BASIC SETTINGS: Resolution and FPS: Matched to client display - 3440x1440/144 in my case
Bitrate: 150mbs (Max) - This is obviously overkill but works fine in my wired setup. If you experience jitter or stuttering due to having this set too high, I recommend this simple workflow to narrow down an appropriate setting:
Move in (approximate) half steps up and down the slider until you are satisfied. For eg. half the rate to 75 and check again - if it is stutter free then move it to 112 (adding 37, half of 75). If it then begins to stutter then move back down 18 steps (half of the 37 we just moved)
You will quickly be able to identify a range and finally a number that works for you and your network without causing stuttering or jitter.
Display Mode: Borderless windowed (default)
V-Sync/Frame Pacing: Both ticked If you are currently experiencing issues whilst having either of these settings on, leave them on for now as I will explain how and why these come into play later in the guide. HOWEVER if you are using a G-Sync enabled monitor on your client, then untick V-Sync only.
AUDIO/UI SETTINGS: Default settings - adjust these to personal preference and your current audio configuration needs.
INPUT/GAMEPAD SETTINGS: All unticked - again these are mostly personal preference and specific to your needs.
A few settings to be aware of here are: "Optimise mouse for Remote Desktop" and "Capture system keyboard shortcuts"
Optimise mouse will essentially use your clients mouse on top of the Moonlight stream, instead of "controlling" the host machines mouse. This can lead to issues when using in-game cursors or significant input lag with your mouse.
Capture system shortcuts will send commands like "alt-tab" to the host machine, rather than actually alt-tab you out of Moonlight on your client device. This can lead to issues such as not being able to quit the stream on Mac as the exit stream command is "ctrl-shift-opt-Q". As the host machine is still being fed the "cmd" key but can't interpret it, nothing happens - meaning you can't quit the stream on your client for eg.
HOST SETTINGS: Optimise game settings for streaming: ticked (default)
Quit app on host PC after ending stream: ticked - personal preference as to whether you want this, I preferred to know that my instance of streaming was closed when quitting.
ADVANCED SETTINGS: Video Decoder: Automatic - I will come back to this
Video Codec: HEVC - this is again personal preference, but I found marginally better decode and rendering times using HEVC as opposed to h.264. HEVC is, in most cases, not necessary and requires more processing from your host. See which works better in your case but it will most likely have little effect on the visual quality of the stream.
Enable HDR: ticked
This is where I managed to fix one of the first issues I came across that I could not (no matter how much bitrate or preset tinkering) resolve:
Compression artifacts and Banding
I use my monitor in SDR, and continually ignored this setting throughout my testing as it was irrelevant to my needs. HOWEVER, after much reading through Reddit and Github forums specifically, I discovered that enabling HDR doesn't force a HDR video signal to your client, it actually sends a HDR ready/10bit video stream instead.
So what does this mean?
Well for those of you, like myself, experiencing banding and noticeable compression in dark areas of games on 10bit displays - this is a GAME CHANGER as it virtually removed all traces of banding and compression across every game I tried. You will also notice that this setting greys out the Video Decoder option which is why it is set to "automatic" in my settings.
Automatically find PCs on the local network: unticked - for reasons listed above regarding manual entering the IP of the host machine.
Automatically detect blocked connections: ticked (default)

HOST MACHINE

Now let's look at some of the changes and tweaks I have made on the host machine and what issues they fixed for me, and will hopefully fix for you too.
Virtual Display Adapter: I mentioned this in my specs and arguably one of the biggest changes you can make to reduce/remove resolution and frame rate related problems in Moonlight, is having a virtual display adapter or virtual EDID minder used as the host machines primary display.
u/xuvvy0 wrote a phenomenal post over on cloudygamer explaining what this adapter is and how to install and configure it. I will leave a link to their post here as I won't be covering this process in this guide.
Essentially this driver is a "fake" display you can tell your host machine to use when streaming to your client. This way you are not limited or affected by any of the properties of the actual display you have physically connected to your host device.
For eg. If you have a 4k 60hz display on your host, but want to use moonlight on a device connected to a 1080p 180hz panel, using a virtual display adapter will allow you to configure your hosts display to a 1080p 180hz display meaning that your stream resolution is now 1:1 with your client display.
If you are worried about the fact of having to manage different resolutions and refresh rates for multiple clients, you can use something like sunshine_utils to run "Do" and "Undo" commands in Sunshine that will set the resolutions and refresh rates you specify on a per-application basis.
V-Sync: We are all familiar with v-sync and what it does, Whether it be in-game or G-Sync/FreeSync. Using something like Moonlight, however, caused confusion on my end as to where in the "chain" v-sync needed to be activated - I am sure some of you had similar experiences as made clear by the amount of v-sync related questions I saw on Reddit and other forums.
This tweak made a noticeable difference to another minor issue that I had noticed after using Moonlight for a few days:
Frame pacing and Input lag
Neither of these issues were enough to be game breaking or deter me from using Moonlight, but it was hard to ignore how buttery smooth and input-lag-free it was when switching back to gaming natively, that was until I made this simple change.
Essentially disable any form of v-sync on the host machine - NVIDIA/AMD control panel, in-game, RTSS or any other form of synching software. Disable it.
This means your host machine is encoding uncapped, delay-free, stutter-free video packets to send to your client device. Any v-sync you would like to use should only be applied on the client end, once the stream has been received. I personally find the built in v-sync in Moonlight to be great and have no tearing issues whatsoever, but if you use a G-Sync enabled monitor then by all means use that and disable v-sync in Moonlight. I can almost guarantee that this will restore that buttery high-frame rate high that we are all chasing (obviously limited by your hardware capabilities)
Audio Pops and Crackles I didn't personally experience many audio related issues when using this setup, but I did when trying to stream to my Steamdeck, and here is how I managed to ensure my gaming sessions were pop/crackle free:

• On your host PC navigate to control panel > hardware and sound > sound
• Right-click on the audio device you are using and go to properties
• Under the levels tab, drop the master volume from 100 to anywhere between 80-90
• Under the advanced tab, make sure the format matches the client device (ie 24bit, 48000hz)

These changes helped to drastically reduce sample rate issues, which can cause clicks and pops, as well as crackling that almost sounds like distortion or clipping. If you aren't using Windows PC as a host machine, there will be ways to alter these exact same settings in your OS, although I am not familiar with how to do this off the top of my head.
Other Misc PC Tweaks (Windows) Some other quick changes that you can make to try and get the most out of your host machines processing and encoding power is:

• Disable Hardware Accelerated GPU Scheduling in the graphics section of the display section of Windows settings.

This seems to be linked to stuttering and freezing on the encoder end. I have not seen any of these issues firsthand, although I had HAGS disabled prior to ever using Moonlight in the first place.

• Make sure you have a high performance power mode selected in the power settings of control panel.

This is a pretty common piece of advice for PC gaming in general, but to make sure you aren't missing out on any of your host machines processing power, make sure there are no power saving settings enabled that could be bottlenecking your PCs performance.

CLIENT MACHINE

Hopefully by now you are already having a much more stable, better looking and smoother Moonlight experience. There are a couple more issues that I managed to resolve with a few further tweaks to the client device that have truly made Moonlight amazing. Hopefully these more obscure issues can be resolved for anyone else who has come across them.
Client Machine Colour Profile: Quite a few posts both in and outside of this subreddit were related to the colour disparity between gaming on their host machine natively and through Moonlight. The most common issue, and the one I also faced, was a noticeable desaturation of the colour spectrum on the client machine - leading to a more washed out and less vibrant image, especially when using the same display with the exact same OSD settings etc.
I actually managed to fix this and haven't seen this solution posted anywhere else, so I really hope it helps at least one other person out there dealing with this issue!
Regardless of your client machines OS, there will be some kind of colour profile being used - this can be found by looking in "colour management" in the control panel on Windows or by going to the display settings on macOS. For other systems, there will be away to find it, you may just have to dig around or do a bit of googling.
Changing the client machines colour profile to match the host machines fixed the colour issue.
By default, my windows PC had its profile set to "sRGB IEC61966-2.1" My Mac Studio had defaulted to the colour profile provided by my display. I changed my Macs profile to sRGB IEC61966-2.1 and boom, 1:1 colour whether native or streaming with Moonlight.
HiDPI Displays and Scaling (Mac Specific): This is a bit of a weird one, and was mainly brought on by myself, but I think it can still be helpful.
As I don't use a high dpi Apple display, the image from my Mac doesn't always look super sharp like you expect from a MacBook Pro or iMac display. This is due to the lower dpi on most displays and the way Macs scale the image. To get around this, there is a commonly used app called "BetterDisplay" which essentially upscales the image to a "HiDPI" looking image, in order to sharpen the look of the Mac, and it works great!
However, when I first used Moonlight, I immediately noticed the stream from my PC was blurry, unsharp, and pretty hard to look at. It wasn't long until I realised that my "HiDPI" mode was actually having the opposite effect on a Windows display, causing a blur effect. Disabling this mode immediately caused the Windows UI to literally snap into focus and become razor sharp. If you use BetterDisplay and are having this issue - this is something to try.
I have also seen posts on the Sunshine Github regarding this happening organically to people actually using high dpi monitors such as a Studio Display, and getting a badly scaled, blurry image from the Windows Host. While I haven't tried this, I would be very interested to see if enabling something like HiDPI mode on BetterDisplay could actually fix this for you when using Moonlight - but I have no evidence to support this advice.

CONCLUSION

Thank you for taking the time to read this guide. I really hope this helps some of you get as close to a no-compromise streaming solution as possible, as well enjoy your Moonlight/Sunshine experience that little bit more.
I am happy to try and clarify any instructions that don't make sense, although I have really tried to make this guide as clear and concise as possible - despite its colossal size.
Good luck and happy Moonlighting!

I'm curious what your transit times are for ileostomies. It's almost been a year for me and I'm still learning how long certain foods take to digest.
Some are pretty confusing like fruits and vegetables. Vegetables almost always take 8-12 hours for me. Fruits as well take about 2-4 hours depending on what it is (berries vs bananas).
Meat and whole grain cereals/bread take about 8-10 hours.
I'm still trying to learn more about it so I can properly time what to eat so I can finally get a full nights rest which I have only been able to do a handful of times.

Hi there,
first of all:
I don’t usually do this, searching the internet for advice in a medical situation and/or posting on reddit (actually never did before). But since I currently find myself in a situation, where I am open to pretty much any hint at a solution as both me and my doctors are actually running out of ideas I might as well try and test the power of the hivemind.
Second:
The obligatory apology for my English and the displeasure it may cause in you while reading this post.
The patient:
I am an 30 year old male, 197cm, 97 kg, from Germany with no known medical conditions and/or history except glandular fever more than five years ago. I am lactose and histamine intolerant (or whatever that actually is, I know that this is academically contested but let’s just say I avoid food attributed to this condition and have no problems in my day to day live with neither of the intolerances). Furthermore I am allergic against some pollen but only suffer mild symptoms. I cannot exclude environmental influences completely, but in my personal opinion this seems highly unlikely since I lived in different places since all of this trouble began (worry not my living conditions are very stable, I live in different places due to my job, my parents and my girlfriend who are all situated in different cities). During the first phase of my illness, while I was still at work, I mainly stayed at my apartment, since I stay at home I’ve mostly been at my parents’ house. I work an office-job and none of my colleagues are affected.
The symptoms:
It all started around the beginning of march with medium to severe abdominal- maybe stomach pain (it is actually a little hard to locate, as the pain tends to shift; mostly it is located around the belly button or slightly above [one to two fingers] but I personally would locate it more in the abdominal-region), abdominal cramps as well as exchanging diarrhoea and constipation (a truly wonderful combination I might add; nothing beats the feeling of not being able to defecate only to be awoken with a running urge…s/) although there were “normal days”. Sometimes I also felt sick but never had to actually throw up. Over the next weeks, generally speaking, the symptoms, especially the pain, grew stronger. I always felt a slight “backround” pain and medium to strong pain a few hours after eating.
In this period I self-medicated the symptoms with medical coal if the necessity arose and started a diary about what I ate and in what quantity (I still do and have been tested on several allergies and intolerances but all of the tests were negative and I couldn’t find any correlation between what I ate and my condition but spicy, fat or in general “hard to digest” food.) I also changed up my eating routine: Usually I only eat once a day but since the symptoms started I changed that to a routine of 3-4 smaller meals a day. Generally speaking this seemed not to change a lot but I would describe it is a little beneficial regarding the pain.
I also started a very strict diet (exclusively chicken, potatoes and carrots, sometimes sweet potatoes, everything steamed accompanied with the finest of all drinks: Water) but since I didn’t feel any better I stopped after eight days and started eating regularly avoiding fat or spicy food. Around easter (the holidays and the following week) I had around two weeks were I felt significantly better although none of my habits had changed (at least as I can recall) in comparison to the weeks before.
Around the second week of April it got a lot worse again. The pain now became constant, the diarrhoea and constipation were back in full swing and in addition to that I now almost constantly felt the need to defecate. Furthermore I started to feel weak and started to have a strong feeling of sickness (not in the sense that I have to throw up but more in the sense of “something is really wrong with me”). At this time I started medicating with Loperamide and Ibuprofen against the pain (I know that this was not the smartest thing to do, but in my defence: I’m probably not a really smart guy). I also started my steamed diet of chicken, potatoes and carrots again but once again stopped after seven days since no improvement what so ever was to be noticed.
So around the end of April I decided to go to the doctor (I might add since this question might come up, that I’m not very fond of doctors, which is ironic since I am friends with an surprising amount of medical staff, because my past experiences have been…well let’s just say that there was room for improvement; anyway that is one of the reasons why I have waited that long; the other reason being, that it was a really bad time at work and I really wanted to finish an important project but around that time I internally felt the need and urge that I could no longer wait).
So since the last week of April I am at home, eating little and only a light diet. Over the last four weeks I started to feel generally slightly better (still having good and bad days), but actually never really good; I still feel and am weak and I am regularly in pain and I simply cannot shake the aforementioned feeling of sickness. I was prescribed probiotics and the thankfully the diarrhoea and also the feeling of “I need to defecate” stopped completly. I still defecate very unregularly (which is very untypical for me) but this alone was and is a huge improvement in my quality of life. In the last weeks I could figure two/ maybe three things down:
- If I eat more than a little snack after 1,5 h – 3 h I start having medium to very strong abdominal pain.
- It does not really seem to matte make a difference what I eat, as long as it is somewhat light on the stomach.
- The pain and feeling of sickness are almost or completely gone, when I stop eating/ have nothing in my digestive system. This is the strongest correlation of anything I have yet encountered. I eat nothing for 18h or more and I start feeling much better (this might be important later).
The tests/ what has been done so far:
We did several blood tests which showed slightly increases levels of inflammation. In addition and since than the following examinations have been performed: An ultrasound of the stomach and the abdominal region, an MRI scan, a gastroscopy and colonoscopy (which has to be the worst experience of my life; during the preparation for the colonoscopy I had excruciating pain and basically did nothing but scream for 18 hours until I lost my voice, in addition it literally ripped my anus apart, I wanted to throw up constantly but couldn’t only having nausea and acid burning in my windpipe; I will never do that again) and several examinations of my stool.
The results were all basically negative (which on some level is great news, but on the other hand also somewhat frustrating). The gastroscopy showed a slight inflammation of the stomach and the duodenum and high levels of stomach acid. The stool tests showed a very high level of calprotectin in the beginning of May (beginning of second week if I recall correctly) and slightly increased levels at the end of the last week.
The thought occurred to me, that during the colonoscopy, the MRI and before the second stool examination I always was sobehad an empty stomach/ ate nothing or nearly nothing and therefore always tested me when I already felt better. For example the day of the MRI test was the best I felt in month after not having eaten in the last 36 h. While I am aware that this will, in all likelihood, not change the result of the colonoscopy nor the MRI, I have thought about if this might have an effect of the results of the second stool tests.
I talked about this with my main doctor who waved this thought away. He basically settled with a “regular” inflammation of the colon, probably small intestine, and described me rest and a light diet. The question about what window of time has to be expected was waved away again. Now, whilst I generally are a patient guy and I enjoy finally having time to make progress in Robert Jordans “Wheel of Time” this still has a slight complication: I still feel like shit after a month of rest and I have to go back to work someday. Please don’t get me wrong; if the solution really is: Wait one or two more weeks and you will feel better, than so be it. But waiting and hoping for…well it might get better is not really a satisfactory solution.
So I went back to several of the other specialists I was in the past weeks (the MRI, ultrasound, gastro- and colonoscopy were all performed by different doctors to shorten the waiting time and to get several other opinions) and the broad consent ranged from (allow me to quote) “no clue” to “don’t know but probably an inflammation of the colon, although this seemed unreasonable since the results of the stool test don’t match with the symptoms”. At this point I feel like I need to thank especially two of those doctors, who took their time for me and even phoned each other to create a plan for my therapy and medication. As a result I was prescribed Buscopan, Novaminsulfon, Pantoprazol, Lasea soft capsules and Gaviscon double to use against heartburn (Acid reflux?).
After I took the medication for around 4-5 days without feeling better in any way all of I sudden my condition got worse again. Since the last few days I am in constant medium pain, heavy pain after having eaten anything more than a very small snack (long live the inventor of pretzel sticks), I suffer from almost constant abdominal cramps, even after not having eaten for more than 15h, and sometimes diarrhoea. After talking to the aforementioned two doctors both of them agreed, that they didn’t know what was happening and sent me on a very short term notice to another doctor, who after having assessed the situation carefully and after quite some awkward silence, admitted that he too had no idea what was going on.
So…This is where I am right now. Basically all tests came back negative, the prescribed medication has no or at least no visible/feelable effect. My state is going from bad to worse or at the very least it’s not getting any better. I can see no correlation between my status and what I eat except that eating itself poses a problem. My doctors are basically out of ideas and I don’t know if “wait and hope” is really the strategy I can accept. I am afraid but in the department of hope I am with Nietzsche.
So, in an almost tragic act of irony, I wrote all of this, hoping that you might have an idea, any idea what could cause my problems, what I could do or in what direction to look; because, if I’m really honest, I don’t really know what do to next, what is happening to me and what I can do to change that and this, on top of my physical suffering, is actually quite draining.
Last and most importantly: Thank you for investing your most precious resource, your time, in reading this text, that has way become longer, sorry for that, than I have planned but maybe some things need to be written more than they have to be read, maybe even commenting and therefore trying to help me. Thank you very much and I wish you all the best.

I have a very hard time getting over this. Not the person, but the treatement and how I allowed myself to be used. All the red flags were obvious but I stupidly overlooked them and allowed myself to be strung along for almost two years in a useless ridiculous situationship. This *erk discarded me for wearing a transparent top and a skirt. For him, that was vulgar, *itchy, and if that's how I am going to dress then no wonder men will harass me. Last time we met which was also the discard day, was really awful. He just lept critisizing my outfits and how much I alwyas wear tight clothes, this that...it was too too much. After the discard, I couldn't digest that someone will discard you just because of something this stupid so I kept reaching out to him and broke no contact every once and then. I know I shouldn't but back then I just wanted to understand. I was in that state of wanting answers. Last time I reached out to him, which was over a year now. I realized how damaged he is and that there is no point. Still, I can't get over what he told me. I still replay in my mind his exact wordings and answers such as: I don't even have feelings for you and I never cared nor was I ever intending to know you any deeper. Oh be glad, It was just a waist of two years, if we get back together It will be even more. Will you change your outfits If I ask you to wear hijab ? (He then laughed and made a joke about the question). Oh please just get over it, it's not like we had some unforgettable stuff. You're a good person and loyal but I am just sorry.
It really hurts to realize that I was just used and strung along, nothing but a sex toy. If I cut him off the moment he ghosted me once for not wearing a bra, none of this would have happened. It hurts, it really does. Especially when there isn't that much I can do, a part from trying to move on. I feel low, stupid, naïve and with no dignity. Is this toxic and *arcissist ? or was he just a player ? I know the label doesn't matter and I am not asking because it's okay to be a player.. It's just the more I get confirmation that it was indeed narcissism, it offers me some validation. It helps (although for a short time) to further know that he's just a sick person. I also realized after the discard, that he's been seeing multiple local women and his following list and likes are full of sexy attractive ones who clearly show their *oobs and stuff...

I have a very hard time getting over this. Not the person, but the treatement and how I allowed myself to be used. All the red flags were obvious but I stupidly overlooked them and allowed myself to be strung along for almost two years in a useless ridiculous situationship. This *erk discarded me for wearing a transparent top and a skirt. For him, that was vulgar, *itchy, and if that's how I am going to dress then no wonder men will harass me. Last time we met which was also the discard day, was really awful. He just lept critisizing my outfits and how much I alwyas wear tight clothes, this that...it was too too much. After the discard, I couldn't digest that someone will discard you just because of something this stupid so I kept reaching out to him and broke no contact every once and then. I know I shouldn't but back then I just wanted to understand. I was in that state of wanting answers. Last time I reached out to him, which was over a year now. I realized how damaged he is and that there is no point. Still, I can't get over what he told me. I still replay in my mind his exact wordings and answers such as: I don't even have feelings for you and I never cared nor was I ever intending to know you any deeper. Oh be glad, It was just a waist of two years, if we get back together It will be even more. Will you change your outfits If I ask you to wear hijab ? (He then laughed and made a joke about the question). Oh please just get over it, it's not like we had some unforgettable stuff. You're a good person and loyal but I am just sorry.
It really hurts to realize that I was just used and strung along, nothing but a sex toy. If I cut him off the moment he ghosted me once for not wearing a bra, none of this would have happened. It hurts, it really does. Especially when there isn't that much I can do, a part from trying to move on. I feel low, stupid, naïve and with no dignity. Is this toxic and narcissist ? or was he just a player ? I know the label doesn't matter and I am not asking because it's okay to be a player.. It's just the more I get confirmation that it was indeed narcissism, it offers me some validation. It helps (although for a short time) to further know that he's just a sick person. I also realized after the discard, that he's been seeing multiple local women and his following list and likes are full of sexy attractive ones who clearly show their *oobs and stuff...

I have a very hard time getting over this. Not the person, but the treatement and how I allowed myself to be used. All the red flags were obvious but I stupidly overlooked them and allowed myself to be strung along for almost two years in a useless ridiculous situationship. This *erk discarded me for wearing a transparent top and a skirt. For him, that was vulgar, *itchy, and if that's how I am going to dress then no wonder men will harass me. Last time we met which was also the discard day, was really awful. He just lept critisizing my outfits and how much I alwyas wear tight clothes, this that...it was too too much. After the discard, I couldn't digest that someone will discard you just because of something this stupid so I kept reaching out to him and broke no contact every once and then. I know I shouldn't but back then I just wanted to understand. I was in that state of wanting answers. Last time I reached out to him, which was over a year now. I realized how damaged he is and that there is no point. Still, I can't get over what he told me. I still replay in my mind his exact wordings and answers such as: I don't even have feelings for you and I never cared nor was I ever intending to know you any deeper. Oh be glad, It was just a waist of two years, if we get back together It will be even more. Will you change your outfits If I ask you to wear hijab ? (He then laughed and made a joke about the question). Oh please just get over it, it's not like we had some unforgettable stuff. You're a good person and loyal but I am just sorry.
It really hurts to realize that I was just used and strung along, nothing but a sex toy. If I cut him off the moment he ghosted me once for not wearing a bra, none of this would have happened. It hurts, it really does. Especially when there isn't that much I can do, a part from trying to move on. I feel low, stupid, naïve and with no dignity. Is this toxic and narcissist ? or was he just a player ? I know the label doesn't matter and I am not asking because it's okay to be a player.. It's just the more I get confirmation that it was indeed narcissism, it offers me some validation. It helps (although for a short time) to further know that he's just a sick person. I also realized after the discard, that he's been seeing multiple local women and his following list and likes are full of sexy attractive ones who clearly show their *oobs and stuff...