I saw my cousin the other day who I was really close to over the years. It was great we had a lot of fun, but she drops little micro aggression about my personality every time she sees me. I don’t really know why or what exactly she dislikes about me because she has never had an open conversation with me about it.
My older sister does this to me a lot as well. She can be very narcissistic at times and doesn’t do well with others setting boundaries. She needs to be in charge. She is 8 years older than me and even now as adults with children she treats me like a child and is annoyed when I make my own decisions about family events. Because of all of this I have gone very low contact with her her or maybe she has gone low contact with me.
Over the past few years I have gone through some really big life changes. Some have been extremely stressful and though I have struggled with depression since childhood I have not been managing things as well. So I have set a lot of boundaries about my own needs and avoided holidays with family as it is too much. In this time my cousin has moved up near us from across the country. My sister spends a fair amount of time with our aunt because she frequently uses her for childcare. They plan the family events and let the rest of the family know about the plans after all decisions have been made. Being that my cousin has just moved up here my sister is still in the love bombing stage of their relationship. Basically I fear that my sister’s negative feelings towards me setting boundaries for myself has rubbed off on my cousin. Damaging our relationship.
So is it warranted to ask her why she is saying hurtful things? Ask maybe how she feels about me setting boundaries with my sister? The things she says is often in regard to my willingness to speak up for myself and my desires. Which I just think of as setting boundaries but must come across as selfish? Is it even more selfish of me to say hey that hurts my feelings when you imply I am selfish, where is this coming from exactly?
After any social interaction lately even positive ones I spend week decompressing and lamenting with regret and embarrassment. So I maybe over reacting but I don’t want to push people away without at least trying to understand their point of view.
Any advice is appreciated. If anyone read all this Thank you.

There are several ways to invest in Artificial Intelligence (AI) Stocks in 2024, each with its own risk-reward profile. Here is a breakdown of some popular options:
Investing in AI-focused funds
This is a convenient way to gain exposure to a basket of companies involved in AI development and application across various sectors.
These funds are professionally managed, offering diversification and potentially lower risk compared to picking individual stocks.
Look for ETFs with clear investment strategies targeting AI themes like:

• AI hardware and software development
• Big data and cloud computing companies enabling AI
• Companies across industries that are actively adopting and integrating AI into their operations (e.g., manufacturing, finance, healthcare)

Investing in Individual AI Stocks in India
This approach offers potentially higher returns but involves greater risk and requires in-depth research. Focus on companies with:

• A strong track record in AI research and development
• A clear focus on a specific AI niche with significant growth potential
• A team with deep expertise in AI technologies
• A solid financial performance and future growth prospects

Check our article - it covers some of the best AI stocks to invest in for 2024.

I drive over to the bar on 44th Street. Doesn't take long to find it. It's got a black sign with silver writing on it, the name is spelled out in some florid style, similar to the Coke name on the cans, lots of flowing ornamentation, much more than on the actual Coke logo. Inside it's a chintzy place with some old 90s EDM playing, sounds a bit like The Chemical Brothers, that big beat style. It ain't loud. The place isn't busy at this time, there's a guy sat at the bar in an old, rumpled suit, and a few guys spotted around the place. There's CCTV all over the bar and I wonder how long they keep it for. I walk up to the bar and the bartender comes over. He's a tall, skinny guy with black pants and a black company top.
He looks me over. "What'll it be, toots?"
He's got a squeaky voice, sounds like he just got here from 1938. I show him my badge and then the picture.
"You know this guy?"
He looks at it carefully, as if he needs to inspect it to be sure. "Sure, sure. He comes here sometimes."
"When was he last here?"
He thinks for a second, rubs his chin. "About a month ago. Ain't seen him since then though."
"Was he with anyone?"
"Not when he arrived," he says with a knowing smile.
"So he met someone here?"
"Oh yeah." He fiddles with his wedding band. "Funny though, didn't think she was his type."
I look at his hands and then back at his face. "Married?"
"Working."
"Did she work for him?"
"I don't know. They left together but another guy left with them," he says.
"What do you mean? They all left together? How did that work?"
He thinks again. "She was chatting with some girl, probably another worker but I ain't seen here around here before. Guy was sat at the bar and then she came to buy a drink. They talk a bit and then when she went back to her friend she kept glancing over. He gets up, walks to a booth, she joins him. They talked for a bit, I can't remember how long, but not long. Then this other guy comes in, sees them and joins them. She buys a round of drinks, they talk, drink up, and all three of them leave together."
I nod as if it makes sense. "What did they look like? The working girl and the guy?"
"Uh, the guy, he was a short-stack." He looks away when he realises what he's said to me. "Not tough looking, small, looked like someone who'd pay, if you know what I mean."
"Client?"
"Possibly. I ain't seen him in here before. He was smartly dressed, not a suit, but a shirt and nice slacks."
"And the girl?"
"Tall, blonde, fake though, bleached. Long legs, short skirt, tight top. You know what I'm saying, right? She's gotta suck 'em in. Worked like a charm from what I could see."
"You think he paid and went with her?"
"If they'd left alone, just the two of 'em I'da said yes, but with the other guy? Who knows. Maybe they wanted a three-way or something, but I didn't get the impression the two guys knew one another."
"What about the girl? She been in before? Did it seem like she knew the other guy, shorty?"
He shakes his head. "Not from what I seen. I didn't hear them talk, but he seemed to be introducing himself to them. Then he sat down and like I said, they talked, she bought drinks, they drank and talked and left. And she's a regular. I think she works nearby."
"Any idea where?"
He shakes his head. "I stay away from that stuff."
"Did this guy," I shake the picture, "talk to shorty when the worker bought the drinks?"
"I didn't look at them, I was making the drinks. They didn't seem to be talking when she got up and came over to the bar."
"So it looks like none of them knew one another but they all left together and she's a working girl?"
"About the size of it, yeah."
"Okay, thanks. One last thing, the CCTV; how long do you keep it for?"
"About a month."
"So they might be on it?"
"It's possible." He looks down the bar to where a guy is waving his glass. "I gotta go, sorry."
I nod and watch him walk off then head back to my car. I ponder what he told me, and realise I'm stuck. I can't think who the short guy might be, and the working girl matches to the description of any number of them in the city. I try to think of a working place nearby and can't figure any. I know a guy who works with them, tries to help them out, stop them working. He's a part of some local church as far as I know. I decide to pay him a visit.

There are several ways to invest in Artificial Intelligence (AI) Stocks in 2024, each with its own risk-reward profile. Here is a breakdown of some popular options:
Investing in AI-focused funds
This is a convenient way to gain exposure to a basket of companies involved in AI development and application across various sectors.
These funds are professionally managed, offering diversification and potentially lower risk compared to picking individual stocks.
Look for ETFs with clear investment strategies targeting AI themes like:

• AI hardware and software development
• Big data and cloud computing companies enabling AI
• Companies across industries that are actively adopting and integrating AI into their operations (e.g., manufacturing, finance, healthcare)

Investing in Individual AI Stocks in India
This approach offers potentially higher returns but involves greater risk and requires in-depth research. Focus on companies with:

• A strong track record in AI research and development
• A clear focus on a specific AI niche with significant growth potential
• A team with deep expertise in AI technologies
• A solid financial performance and future growth prospects

Check our article - it covers some of the best AI stocks to invest in for 2024.

Wanting lots of opportunities for replay value or strategy
I'm looking for turn based games, stuff like rim world
Racing games as well.
Deck builder games as well.
Collect resources and survival type games
And games with turn based mechanics as well
And games where you make small number become big numbers

There are several ways to invest in Artificial Intelligence (AI) Stocks in 2024, each with its own risk-reward profile. Here is a breakdown of some popular options:
Investing in AI-focused funds
This is a convenient way to gain exposure to a basket of companies involved in AI development and application across various sectors.
These funds are professionally managed, offering diversification and potentially lower risk compared to picking individual stocks.
Look for ETFs with clear investment strategies targeting AI themes like:

• AI hardware and software development
• Big data and cloud computing companies enabling AI
• Companies across industries that are actively adopting and integrating AI into their operations (e.g., manufacturing, finance, healthcare)

Investing in Individual AI Stocks in India
This approach offers potentially higher returns but involves greater risk and requires in-depth research. Focus on companies with:

• A strong track record in AI research and development
• A clear focus on a specific AI niche with significant growth potential
• A team with deep expertise in AI technologies
• A solid financial performance and future growth prospects

Check our article - it covers some of the best AI stocks to invest in for 2024.

Wanted to ask this question to the subreddit since I’ve seen lots of comments randomly complaining about this or that, and very little actual discussion on the topic.
I read a lot of posts and people tend to comment about top tier balancing particularly in regards to the Abrams and top tier US’s performance, usually chalking the abysmal win rate to the players themselves and not the actual efficacy of the lineup.
That is precisely where I disagree, I believe the Abrams has a horrendous armor profile model, and that the players at top tier for the US are no worse than those of Russia and Germany.
I’ve developed this opinion from being a French main and playing against and with all of these countries, the Abrams should have a competitive armor profile or at the very least the SEP variants as it is the top tier vehicle of one of the big three nations. Regardless of how innacurate the ariete and leclerc and merkava etc are, it is genuinely asinine that the Abrams is so easy to kill and that is purely down to how poorly Gaijin has treated it.
Let me be clear, the Abrams IS NOT BAD, however it is really not much better than the Leclerc. The Abrams is no where near the effectiveness of the top Leo 2 variants in Sweden and Germany and I would even place the T-90M over it due to its bs spall liner or it’s non exploding fuel tanks. Every tank requires skill to drive but vehicles like the Leo 2s and the T-90M have significantly smaller weak spots than the Abrams that are much more easily concealed or near auto bounce zones that require good aim to hit.

Hey guys, I hope you're all enjoying your week so far :)
As the title says - how do you manage updates on file with a lot of screens / pages / sections? Are you using branches or do you create a separate file for each flow / domain of the product you're designing for?
The idea is to have a main file with all UI screens for the digital product. When updating a specific flow, those updates need to be done and approved outside the main file and then merged (or moved) with the main file.
Unfortunately, Figma only offers branching an entire file (and files could be really big in size, so it slows down the process). It would be really cool if we could create a branch for a single section, for example.
The other way is to create a separate file for each flow / section of the UI file, make updates there, confirm and then copy & paste back to the main file.
So, again, what's your experience in these situations? Any cool hacks you'd like to share? Maybe I'm not aware of some other possible solutions.
Cheers!

Y'all this is the longest post ever but I need to take a poll. The question at hand is: Do I accept the puppy? Back story: For literally as long as I can remember, I have yearned for my own big-headed blue American Bully. I've prayed for it, dreamt about it, cried over it, everything you can do to manifest something. I have experienced many devastating losses in the last few years; my best friend/sistesoulmate passed in my arms just a few months go, and both of my moms (biological and adoptive,) my grandpa, my little brother, and my relationship with my son's father (who was my childhood guy best friend) are all gone. To put it lightly, I am not okay. My heart is constantly aching and I can never catch my breath. I'm really struggling emotionally, and I feel painfully alone all the time. I've been able to keep myself together enough to be a good mom and provide for my son and the animals I already have, but I am dying inside and I desperately need something good to happen in my life. My friend's dog had a litter of purebred blue American bullies and she is offering me a free puppy. Here is the problem: I am not financially set in life. My car died a little over a month ago and I'm having a lot of trouble saving up for another one. I don't get government assistance except healthcare, I work, my bills are paid, I have groceries, my animals have food, but after that, money is tight. I rent my house at a low cost and it is quite a fixer-upper but I've lived there for 4 and a half years and I'm allowed to have pets with no restrictions. I have always fostered animals and I currently have a dog that I bottle raised, so I have everything for a puppy except puppy kibble and puppy pads, and the price of those things aren't going to be the difference between me paying bills or saving for a car. I have a big fenced in back yard. I work third shift so I am always home during the day for training/quality time. I can purchase the puppy's vaccines online and do them myself for a fraction of the cost at the vet. There are resources around me for low-income pet healthcare. But there are times I've needed to borrow money from people, and I've received financial help from loved ones when needed, and those people are understandably frustrated that I'm even considering accepting the puppy. This puppy is truly a lifelong dream-come-true for me and the chances of this opportunity coming back around, a free purebred blue pit falling into my lap, are slim to none...but they aren't wrong about it being not the best financial decision. My thoughts are, I'm going to be financially stressed with or without the puppy, so why not do something that will help piece my heart back together, something I've always wanted? Do I accept the ridicule and judgment from my loved ones and follow my heart? I know I could make it work, but it also means forfeiting any future financial help and that's definitely something to consider in case I hit a rough patch again. Another point I'd like to make is that I did have two dogs. I was financially supporting, training, and caring for two dogs for years, not including dogs I fostered, and when my son's father and I separated, he kept his dog and I kept mine. He lives in the downstairs apartment and I live upstairs, so I still see the dog, but he's not mine anymore and I don't financially support the dog anymore. And relinquishing responsibility of that dog did not help me financially or emotionally. What do I do? I've been going back and forth for weeks and my heart hurts. My window of opportunity is closing. Thanks for reading my novel. So, yes, get the puppy? Or no, suffer? LOL

My gpu: RTX 4090
My monitors:

1. 5120x1440 @ 240 hz
2. 3840x2160 @ 144 hz
3. 2560x1440 @ 165 hz

I only use the monitor 1 for a specific racing game (Assetto Corsa Competizione). The game will crash within 5-20 minutes unless I disable the other two monitors. I have tried a lot of things to find the cause of the issue, such as:

• reinstalling the game with fresh settings
• reset settings in Nvidia Control Panel
• complete uninstall of Nvidia drivers with DDU
• clean install of Nvidia driver
• uninstall GeForce Experience/Nvidia App
• default gpu clocks
• torture test gpu for 2.5 hours
• close various applications, including MSI Afterburner, Discord, Chrome and many others
• replace racing wheelbase and pedals
• disable Steam overlay
• HDR on/off
• G-sync on/off
• fps limiter off/on
• fullscreen/windowed
• increase TDR timeout
• disable multiplane overlay
• disable only monitor 2
• disable only monitor 3

Nothing has prevented the game from crashing, not until I finally disabled both monitors 2 and 3. The game has been running flawlessly for several hours when only monitor 1 has been enabled. I play other games on monitor 2 while 3 is also enabled, and I don't have any issues at all.
When the game crashes, it *looks* like it's related to the gpu, because of messages like d3d11.dll!UnknownFunction and ntdll.dll!UnknownFunction but what kind of issue can the gpu have that is simply circumvented by turning off the other monitors?

I'm a huge DC fan but I've gotten bored of NRS games. MK1 is still boring asf compared to Tekken 8 and SF6. Once I got into Tekken I never looked back.
For an Injustice 3 to win me over (and I really hope it does) I'm gonna need it to have an actually enjoyable gameplay system. I'd like NRS to experiment with different combo systems and learn from other fighting games that are actually crazy fun like Tekken 8, DBFZ, Killer Instinct, SF6, Guilty Gear, even the Marvel vs Capcom games.
For Injustice 3 I think it would be really cool if they actually made it a 3D fighter. We need more 3D fighters. The only 3D fighter out there rn is Tekken. It doesn't have to be an arena fighter but the ability to move around in 3D and sidestep would make things interesting.
Another thing NRS needs to do is actually implement a much larger variety of moves so there's a lot more creativity and options you have with each character. Part of the reason MK1 is so boring for me is cause the movesets are so small. Also there's a lack of fluidity. In Tekken and SF6 there's a natural flow to the gameplay. SF6 may not have big movesets like Tekken but it does have rich mechanics like the drive system to make up for it.
If NRS is too lazy or unwilling to make such changes they could look back at the fast paced style of MKX cause I remember spending the most time playing that game when it came out. MK11 was terrible and MK1 just isn't that fun either. Instead of making another MK1 clone make a crazy fast paced game in the style of MKX so it's actually fun. Super Saiyan superhero type shit!

I like and hate myself at the same time
I'm scared that I'm gonna disappointed a lot of people
List thing that I have tried but didn't work
Just signup BK for tomorrow but I'm not sure if it can help
you know what?
I'm back to depresed hole again. TLDR I'm known as college student who keep failed at my skripsi.
IDK I think I'm weird because I'm feeling my life just gonna be fine if I not graduate, but I know this is just on my mind.
The real life latter will make me begging and reggret that I should have finish my skripsi.
I don't feel like doing anything again.
Today I just sleep for 12 hours, but I remember I had appointment with lecturer at 1PM.
My head hurts when waking up, I know it gonna hurt because I do this thing on some occasion in the past when I want to torture myself with strong headache.
I want to escape again, by turning off my phone. But I don't want my family come to my 'kost', because I make them worried.
My father keep nagging me about my progress too and I think he send message to my lecturer -_-,
So I'm thinking by just ignoring all the notifications.
But I have deal with my friend, he say gonna message me twice a day to ask about my progress. If I skip a day I need to pay 50k. Which is a lot for me.
Just lie to my friend that I had progress? nope, I still want to be kind and honest human being despite living in Indonesia.
But IDK why I can't be kind to myself. I'm already 26yo.
Today I set my foot on campus again after a long time (last consultation with lecturer is before ramadahan).
You know what? I'm so envy of their young age, when they can just play around and just talking about shit, anything.
I want to tell them to be persistent, focus and obsesisve to thing you want to accomplish. But who am I to tell them that?
I hope they just didn't become like me and can graduate on time.
Why I'm typing this thing again when I have to focus on skripsi?
IDK, because everytime I open my skripsi I feel tired and just want to sleep, laying on bed with my phone, reading and watching a lot of things (anything except skripsi)
Actually I have feeling like this too in the past and the solution is by writing checklist. checklist about what step by step in detailed manner to do a thing in atomic format.
Basically to stop scaring my brain and stop my false imagination about how hard this is

1. open office app
   
2. open the skripsi file
   
3. just read the title
   
4. read until you bored maybe 5m
   
5. read again the next page
   
6. open second app put on the right side of the office app
   
7. write a list of thing you should fix but don't fix it
   
8. just read read read until you bored
   

eventually the feeling to write and fix thing from the list is gonna appear
BUT ...
IDK, the action need to be done is just
READ, SEARCH and WRITE?
how hard it is? nope, is so simple yet lkafjdsafsldjkljasfdkkljdfsakjladsfjklfadsasldfjkadsfjlkadsflkjadslfkjasdflkjafhupqweifqwoefnasdlkfj
I hate writing skripsi docs because I can't see the result is right or wrong, if I think this is already right by just working on it by an hour.
Sometime it wrong by my lecturers and he give some explation why it wrong that most of the time I agreed as well.
But If I keep working on it until I feel this is perfect, it gonna need more than an hour and that make me feel lazy to working on it.
I like coding the app, making stuff work, the compiler always tell me what wrong in mere seconds or minutes. I can lookup the solution as long as it takes and it still fun.
because the compiler always say what wrong instanstly.
But the fact that I need to sync the skripsi docs and the application make me lazy to coding the skripsi project again.
It really make me want to code other thing but I end up using it as a escape from skrispi work.
*oh it's ashar, ok bye, thanks once again for people who always support me, now I want to rant to god (I know I just need to patient with the work and result but F why I'm like this)
*wiring this on text app, copy into reddit and it have many whitespace, sorry

I live in America, grew up in rural country, and some of my family is hispanic and consume a lot of pork. I have a big waste nothing mentality, I always was told to buy the cheapest of everything. I dont know if Id call myself a revert yet, but I am at least trying as a lot of the Quran's messaging resonates with me strongly.
I decided to try and cut pork first, it seemed the easiest. I dont like a lot of pork anyway, short of bacon and sausage, so it seemed easy. I'll do really good for a couple weeks and then I just forget and buy something with pork in it, remember its pork, and then feel guilty if I just let it go to waste. Or if someone in the family makes something with pork for dinner, I feel bad turning it down, it feels rude.
Ive looked into buying halal meat and its more expensive where I live. If I want to buy stew meat its closer to $8 a pound whereas if I go to Sams Club its $5 or $6 per pound. Im worried its a financial cost I wont be able to afford long term.
Also, the alcohol part. I dont drink alcohol, I dont like it, but its very common in cooking. Lots of dishes use wine and Im not really sure how to adapt these recipes to be halal?
And thats the big part is adapting recipes to be halal. If I want to make a dish that generally uses pork sausage, what could I replace it with (such as biscuits & gravy)?
Im just struggling a bit with breaking lifelong habits and norms and I feel bad about it. I just dont know if anyone has tips on breaking said habits, adapting recipes to be halal, or words of encouragement.
Thanks.

I got an arranged marriage. How that worked was my mom connected with a friend of a friend and things between her son and I were arranged. We spoke and texted on the phone for a month, and I flew out to meet him a couple of times before saying yes to getting engaged. It was important to me that my husband found me attractive so it was something I asked and he said yes at the time. We decided to get married at the end of the year which left a little time for me to lose weight for my wedding as all women want to. I was a bit extreme and even had to take muscle relaxants due to pain and spasms in my jaw caused by stress. Anyways we got married and I know I wasn’t skinny but good and I felt beautiful, and I thought my husband did too, he saw me and knew who he was marrying me. A couple days into our marriage during intimacy we were figuring things out and he made a comment that “ we should lose weight” because the bed sunk. In hindsight not a big deal but it was so shocking so I just asked him and he told me, “yeah you’re a bit fat. I guess this thing can be dismissed in my mind. I cried a lot over this in front of him. But after that for months he would tell me to go to the gym and be active under the guise that it wasn’t about how I looked but to be healthy. Obviously we all know what he was saying. I guess that can also be dismissed. But what felt unacceptable was me telling him to stop saying these things to me and him not stopping. After years of extreme dieting and the stress of final year I’ve gained weight back due to binge eating and he picked on me a lot more this trip that I went to visit him ( we are long distance just till I finish my semester) and even used to comment on how I was walking, even though he’s much taller than me so naturally has covers more ground than me but just said it’s me being unfit. True or not I felt it was inhumane to pick on someone for just walking. Honestly it hurt so much but he didn’t understand why it was a big deal. I guess what really just broke my heart was what was said in the heat of this pain and the arguments we had. I kept asking him why would he marry me if he felt I wasn’t ideal. He told me he thought I’d lose the weight. I guess it broke my heart because the one thing I had always wanted was a husband who loved me immensely and to whom I was desirable. His comments made me feel so ashamed of myself as a woman. He still stands on the fact that it isn’t a big deal, but when you’ve been body shamed by your mother your whole life and have a long history of disordered eating it’s hard. Honestly I feel that he does love me. I’m not saying this to sound in denial. But his actions do show this. Also we are new to each other. He’s a good man, apart from these comments he’s kind, a provider, he hasn’t raised his voice or got upset at me. I want this marriage to work. If my foot falls off the bed I’ve woken to him holding it while he’s asleep himself. He cooks for me and cleans the apartment. He honours me and takes me to meet his friends. Talks to my family, my mother out of love and respect. He calls me everyday and the periods we fought he wouldn’t let me leave if I were still in pain.He calls me beautiful every day. But I don’t know how to pick up the pieces of my heart and move forward knowing my husband wished I were different.

I’ve learned how to say “no thank you” in at least nine languages, and longer phrases in more (like “thank you, please let’s speak English now. I don’t really know the language but my mother in law is mean.”)
I’ve been with my partner for almost four years. He argues that she doesn’t like me because she only hears about me when things are on the rocks for us, which is fair, but none of those times have been that awful. Less than a year in, we broke up for about four weeks and he moved back in. No abuse or anything like that, we were just figuring ourselves and each other out.
I’d never met her before this past Thanksgiving. We’d been together for three years at that point and he told them we planned to get married. We were there for one day, just for Thanksgiving dinner, and she spent so much of her energy trying to keep me at arms length from everyone.
She knows I have food allergies and there was only food I couldn’t eat. She complained that I was being picky. We’d been up for a long time and I laid down in the guest room (with my bf’s permission and leading) only for her to complain that I was being a drama queen and withholding myself from the rest of the family. I was on it for the three little ones there, all under eight years old, for five hours before that happened or I was offered food. (And the food I was offered would have made me very sick.) When I didn’t eat much, I was accused of being picky and rude, and when I did get sick, she made a big deal of asking other people there to drive me and my bf back to where we were staying. She wouldn’t pay any of the traditional family board games until I left. It was humiliating and she did nothing to hide her disdain for me. She even excluded me from the gift giving part of the evening.
I’d been dating her son for three years, and she never asked me anything about me or what I did or what my interests are. She implied that I was using him for money (there is none) and that I’ve never accomplished anything (I have.)
Everything blew up this week when she asked my bf to forget moving into a new place with me (we’ve already been living together for two years) and to move in with his pregnant sister, forty miles away from where we are now to “take care of her” because “he’s the uncle” and she’s”worried.” (She has a guest room in her house and lives four minutes away from the sister. There are other options.)
It just crushed me. I truly want to go no contact, but I know my bf won’t/can’t with his family. I know he deeply dislikes his mom, but I don’t know if he’ll ever stand up to her on my account.
I hate arguments or confrontations, and have truly done my best to be a good guest, but it’s at a point that I can’t ignore it.
I already speak two languages other than my native language, and I’ve been learning sister languages, along with some foreign dialects that I can legitimately practice. (I have a few Russian friends, for example.)
I’m starting to feel too old for this kind of shit. I feel like using different languages would allow me to say what I need to say without there being a Jerry Springer type blow out, and without having to put my bf in an uncomfortable situation with his family (siblings included.)
I could say a lot of stuff in English, but it would be burning an entire bridge. I’m at the point where I feel like it’s this, or no contact with them, or my bf and I have to break up. We’re a really good match, we love each other, we’re working towards the same goals together. He incredibly aware that his familial situation is toxic, even more so since my nut job family has accepted him with open arms.
There’s times I feel like I should just shut up and take it, and times I feel like I should burn it to the ground (metaphorically) and times I feel like I should respect that he still wants a relationship with his family no matter how much they frustrate and hurt him.
AITAH for opting for the half measure?

TW: brief mentions of depression, suicidal ideation, and attempted suicide
When I (28F) was growing up, I was the golden child of the family. I didn't know it back then. Up until I was in high school I had a younger sister and an older half sister I only saw a few times a year. It wasn't like I never got in trouble or got yelled at, in fact I have a very vivid and hurtful memory where I was called a liar by my parents when I was being 100% truthful (they just didn't want to hear it and wanted someone to be mad at I guess), and then I was told to just "suck it up and get over it". But compared to my younger sister, who was compared to me in every way, I always had the perfect grades, perfect attitude, perfect behavior, etc. Our parents, especially our mother, who was the main parent taking care of us during the week, pretty much pitted us against each other constantly. My little sister was being told she needed to be more like me, and I was told my sister was a bad kid. I would try to help her stay out of trouble as a kid and would get mad when she didn't listen to me because i didnt understand she was just being herself and didn't need to be exactly like me. Up until college, I didn't understand that my sister didn't need to change, she needed her parents to love her as she was and help her instead of trying to mold her into some ideal of perfection. We were picked apart constantly about every little thing we did, and I was expected to always somehow know everything even if I'd never learned it before. My house was full of constant yelling due to the extremely high expectations and my mother's terrible temper, and it became a very stressful place to be starting when i was around 10. We went through a lot of financial hardships as well since I was very young, so I dont want to dismiss how hard things were for my parents and how much they went through. But I have always been hyper aware of how much it costs for me to exist as my mom stressed so many times over the years that she couldn't afford to buy even a new shirt because she had to buy stuff for us, as if that was at all our fault.
When i was in high school, my baby brother was born. He pretty much instantly became the new golden child, not only because he was the youngest and the only boy, but because it became clear at a very young age how intelligent he is. I was a straight A honors kid and he was blowing me out of the water since he learned to read. I didn't mind at all because 1) I was going to be going to college in a couple years, and 2) with our age difference, he was as much my son as my brother, and I took on a very loving parental role with him of my own volition. I also saw the promise in him and I wanted him to live a happy life. My little sister and him are very close to this day, at least to my knowledge. During this time they were still coming down really hard on my little sister, treating her as well as they always had - meaning they still yelled at her constantly and were overly critical of her and everything she even thought about doing. They talked about sending her to military school more than once, and pretty much resigned themselves to the idea my sister would never be able to live on her own before she even got to high school, let alone graduated.
Flash forward to when I was in college, I started coming home and noticing things about how my parents treated my sister, and for the first time I saw it for how terrible it was for her. The distance and time I spent away from the house helped my little sister and I completely change our relationship by my second or third year. What really solidified it was a series of events that happened my junior and senior years of college.
My sister moved to our town with her husband with their 2 very young boys, and we soon found out she was pregnant with twins. That is kind of where it all began to fall apart. Time showed not only that her husband is a massive pos, but also potentially abusive, although we never got concrete proof. As my sister's pregnancy progressed and they struggled to get on their feet, my parents started watching my nephews for hours at a time, sometimes the whole day. And if my parents had to babysit out of nowhere and put their lives on hold, me and my younger siblings were expected to do the same. No toys, no books, no games - nothing. Essentially, the entire house was expected to babysit in a way that i have been told wasn't normal. Even my little brother was expected to take on this role in caring for kids who were only a couple years younger than him. I spent my entire childhood taking care of my little sister and then my baby brother, and I hated seeing how they were doing the same to him when me and my little sister were at the age where it shouldve been left up to us. I started really butting heads with my parents as the situation progressed because they started yelling at my baby brother when the boys would even bump their heads even though it wasnt his fault. He never mistreated them, hit them, pushed them , or anything, so my parents justified it by saying he wasn't being a "good uncle" by "letting them" bump their heads on the tv stand, for example. He was expected to let them play with all of his toys, and my mom tried letting the boys use things that were very important to my brother, which would've ended up with the boys taking those things home. Saying it that way makes it sound a lot more mild that it was, but I'm trying to save time and not give out too many personal details. I guess you could say in short, my parents began expecting my elementary school age brother to give up his time, his space, his toys, his gifts - anything that meant anything to him, to help care for children when he was still a child not much older than them. I ended up giving my baby brother my room to not only keep his stuff in, but to sleep in.
In the end, my sister had the twins and then moved back to her home state about 6 months later. We think her no good husband lied to her about us and she cut contact with all of us, and we haven't heard from her since. In our house, the damage was done. I had long conversations with my little sister when our parents weren't around about how she needed to get out because of how they were treating her, and how I would eventually graduate and move to a city where I could find a job. But neither of us wanted to leave our little brother in that house because we were worried how they would treat him when we both left. Our parents had already proven they would throw any of us to the side at any second, even their golden child baby boy, and blame even him for anything that went wrong. Our parents have a history of spilling all our business at any holiday meal and badmouthing any little mistake. They would talk shit about us in front of us and shame us in front of family our entire lives, and if my sister and i weren't there to take the brunt of it, how long until they turned on my baby brother. Would they even wait until he wasn't "perfect" anymore?
Throughout all of this, I was struggling a lot in college, and starting around junior year i became very depressed and suicidal, which resulted in a major attempt in my 5th year of college, which to this day i don't like talking about. Before that, however, I went to my mom about feeling depressed and told her i thought i needed to talk to someone. She brushed me off. I was dumb enough to think that maybe she thought i was exaggerating, so i tried a second time to ask her for help about a year later, and she brushed me off again. Part of me blames her almost entirely for my attempts, because i came to her before any of them because i knew thats where it was headed if i didnt get help. All she had to do was make a couple phone calls to find me someone to talk to and she couldn't even do that for me. I was a scared girl who needed her mom's help because i didnt know who to turn to, and she turned her back on me. After my final attempt, I pulled myself up and got help, but my financial aid ran out and I was unable to return to school and finish my degree, so I went back to my parents house and was absolutely miserable for the next 6 months. I felt like a failure, like I wasn't "perfect" like i was supposed to be. I felt suffocated every single day and like the only ones who wanted me there were my siblings. One day I tried a little experiment and sat in the living room with my mom for the entire day and she didn't say one single word to me, didnt even acknowledge my existence. Ever since the stuff with my nephews happened, I had doubled my efforts to protect my siblings and take the brunt of my mom's anger, so I pushed back a lot when they tried to get onto my siblings for ridiculous things. I ended up ghosting my friends for 3 months because I was so depressed, and it really scared them. It was then I knew i had to get out of that house or it would kill me, so I moved into my grandparents' house a town over.
Things at my grandparents' house started okay, and i was even able to confide in them what had been going on at my parents' house, which in the end turned out to be a big mistake. I got a job working overnight at a retail store and met the guy who is now my boyfriend of 3 years. Unfortunately, the longer i spent at my grandparents' house the more i saw where my mom got it from, and they ended up treating me just as bad as what was going on at my parents' house. The only difference was that my sister wasn't there so i was taking the brunt of all of it. When things started getting tough for them after my grandpa retired, instead of sitting down with me like an adult and asking if it would contribute financially, my grandpa cornered me in the car when he was driving me back from work and guilted money out of me with a sob story. And guilted me at the dinner table the second time when they needed more money. One time i walked in the house after work and before i had even taken my shoes off or put my purse down to get my wallet out, he blocked the door to my room with his hand out like a loan shark to give him the money. I payed for all my own expenses, took short showers and kept as many lights off as i could, and told them not to buy me anything, even food. And in the end, even though they guilted me for money, then more money, and promised they wouldnt kick me out, they sold the house out from under me when they knew i was still trying to save for an apartment with what little money i had left a month. I ended up having to live with my best friend and her husband or i wouldve been homeless. I still helped them move even when they f-ed me over. And even after all that, I still went to holidays and visited my parents from time to time.
The last time i saw my grandparents they ran into me and my best friend in a store. My grandpa saw me first (he and my grandma were in different parts of the store), and starting yelling at me for pretty much cutting them off since i hadn't been to see them for months, and then when he started realizing he looked like the bad guy tried to make the reason i stopped talking to them about politics (i live in a conservative area) as if that would justify it. When my friend and i were trying to grab one last thing before we left because i was humiliated and trying not to cry, my grandma cornered me at the deli counter, had me pinned between the counter and a cart so i couldn't leave, and started yelling at me too. I was so broken back then, but i tried to tell both of them i would talk to them but not in the store. They just wanted to scream so we left. I haven't spoken to them since and have no plans to.
Eventually i moved 2 hours away back to the city i had went to college in. During that time, my grandparents drove the 3 hours to try to find where i lived, and then called trying to get me to come downstairs. I was asleep for work at the time but it made me feel so uncomfortable that they would do that. And after living there a year and my bf and i commuting to visit each other every other week, it came to the point where if i wanted our relationship to continue i had to move back. This is not something he ever brought up to me, this was a decision I came to on my own. So two years ago I moved back to the area I grew up in. We live an hour away from my hometown and 30 minutes away from the town i met my boyfriend in. And although he has family in both areas that we visit, I haven't seen or really talked to my parents or siblings since i initially moved out of the area.
A year ago, after a year of silence from me and from my parents, I dropped a box off at my parents' house when they weren't home with souvenirs i got them on vacation when i first moved back, short letters to each of them about the gifts, and a long video letter on a flash drive explaining everything I felt because i knew i couldn't go on without being honest and i knew if i tried to have a conversation in person, they wouldn't listen to me. I told them i wanted to keep them in my life but i couldn't ignore everything that had happened and the ways they treated me and my younger siblings. I told them i had no interest in continuing a relationship with my grandparents and that anything they have told them probably wasnt true. I sent them scans of my diaries as "proof" that i wasn't lying because that's the kind of house i grew up in - if you couldnt prove it, it didnt happen. I laid myself completely bare so that i could heal, knowing the whole time they may never want to speak to me again. I gave them pictures of me and my boyfriend and my new phone number anyway. The only thing i didn't give them was my address because we live on his family's land and his family, knowing a bit about my family and also about my grandparents essentially stalking me, don't want anyone from my family nosing around on the property. I don't want that either so i agreed not to give it out. The people in my life who knew about the box and the letter turned video letter were supportive of the idea given all i had been through, and I thought dropping it off would be the end of things.
Since then, I have healed from everything that has happened. I'm still angry and sad and i feel like I'm grieving every day, but I'm not the spineless, scared girl i used to be. My boyfriend has helped me become a better person in so many ways. But i still miss my family, especially my dad. I feel like he didnt deserve what i've done for reasons i cant go into, because the reality is he depends a lot on what my mom tells him because he works, and he trusts her deeply. I feel like in some regards he depended too much on her word, although he isnt completely innocent. There's obviously a lot more to my story that what I have here or else I'd be writing an autobiography, but just know if this all sounds like it isn't a big deal, I have so many stories and so much more detail that isn't safe to give out here.
The reality is my parents and i pushed each other away until we all became strangers long before everything blew up. I felt like a stranger from the time i left for college. I was made to feel like if i wasn't at home, i was a second thought, and a lot of very serious issues happened while i was away that i didnt find out about until i came home. My last year of college i was physically starving and could only afford to eat one meal a day if that. When i had left for school at the beginning of that school year my mother made it clear i had to figure it all out myself because they had no money to give me, but then i came home for Christmas and everyone but me had all new electronics. I cried asking for money to buy my uniform to start my campus job but they bought all new computers and tablets. And that stung.
Last Christmas, my parents and siblings messaged me. It was the first time I had heard from them since before i dropped off the box. It was just a Merry Christmas, but it absolutely shocked me. And then they all messaged again on my birthday. Same thing, just little pleasantries, but it makes me feel like maybe that door isn't closed. However, I have absolutely no idea if we can move forward, if they want to, or even if its a good idea to try. I have struggled a lot since college about whether or not all of this and everything I wasn't able to share here is or is not a big deal. I've had people close to me listen to my whole story and call it emotional neglect and abuse, but I just don't know. I feel crazy most of the time, and I'm afraid I'm exaggerating or making it up for attention or something, which also doesn't make sense. I struggle a lot in my day to day. I am ruled by the emotions of those around me and i cower like a kicked puppy when people around me are upset, even if its not my fault. I get ashamed when i make a mistake or i'm not "perfect", and if my feelings are valid I have no idea if it would be a good idea to get back in touch. But i think about if/when my boyfriend and i get married, and how i have no family to sit on my side. It sometimes feels like it's my fault because i wasn't strong enough to just shut up and deal with it anymore. At this point I dont know what is the right answer, what's going to finally give me peace. For now, I just keep moving forward trying to build a better life with my boyfriend and hope all the pieces will fall into place later.

Hi. I did both my BS and MSc in US, where I focused on implementing some subroutines to an existing solver. Currently, I do consultation work, i.e. use commercial software to do CFD for different clients. After the next 2-3 years, I plan to go back to do a PhD if I can find fundings. My final goal would be to be able to work at labs to do CFD research.
With that said, I understand there is a lot of ITAR restrictions for foreigners in the US, making it difficult to apply for jobs. It's even more difficult since CFD touches a lot of aerospace and defense applications.
Are other countries (Canada, any European and any Asian countries (Japan, Singapore) ) the same? For those who got a PhD and became professors, do you face any difficulties with ITAR or its equivalence?

Hi all, first time poster here. I’ve started work on my first proper fanedit, a recut of Michael Cimino’s Heaven’s Gate. The original version is breathtaking, but the pacing is glacial! I’ve seen Steven Soderbergh’s Butcher cut, but I felt like it actually had the opposite problem in that it was too fast. So, I decided to have my own go at it with a cut that not only fixes pacing, but also tries to retain the epic scale.
I’m in the middle of a massive narrative restructuring process and I think moving around a lot of the scenes actually makes the film more comprehensible! The death list reveal is one example; in my cut it happens in the middle of the film instead of the half hour mark. I found that putting a lot of the exposition (heavily trimmed for pacing) before it sets up both the love triangle between Jim, Nate, and Ella and the livelihoods of the immigrants more logically. In the original cut we’re just dumped with the information and then we spend time with the characters anticipating something big that won’t happen for another hour and a half.
I also have an entirely new ending planned out that I won’t go into too much detail about, but I will say it’s something that I don’t think anyone has tried before.
Once I tie up some loose ends I’d totally be up for sharing some of my progress here!

Player Character

Basic Information

Reddit Account: u/a_dolf_in
Discord Tag: ArcElliott
Name and House: Olivia Redwyne
Age: 26
Cultural Group: Andal
Appearance: Olivia has a very confident aura around her at all times, the result of just being in charge and often being the only competent person for miles around for more than a decade. In typical Redwyne fashion, she has red hair and her eye colour sits somewhere between green and blue (depending on the light). Her hair is long, reaches down to her lower back, and is usually braided in some way to keep it tame. Other than that, she is of average height and has a very hourglass-figure.
Trait: Mariner
Skill(s): Admiral (e), Cunning, Tactician, Malicious
Talent(s): Sommelier, Drawing, Gymnastics
Negative Trait(s): -
Starting Title(s): Grand Admiral of the Arbor
Starting Location: opening feast
Alternate Characters: -

Biography

Olivia was born in the year before the conquest to Osric and Joanna Redwyne, as their second child. In the very next year, Osric would be fatally injured by dragonfire at the Field of Fire, and pass before he could even be brought to a maester. Therefore, the young Redwyne never really knew her father, but both her and her older brother would soon be adopted by their uncles Simon and Lucas, the latter of which their mother Joanna would then marry and have another child with.
It is usually said that every Redwyne is born with a natural inclination towards the sea. For Olivia that turned out to be much stronger than for most others, and was only further reinforced each time one of her uncles took her along on a journey across the Arbor Strait or on some journeys south. What started as jokingly giving her command during a trip once, quickly turned into a lot of surprise for the crew when the then 6-year-old began barking orders as if she had spent four decades at sea. With each journey she was progressively given more and more responsibilities until she eventually commanded her own ship. In that regard she was outpacing her brother Clovis massively.
She was 14 when her brother Clovis, then Lord of the Arbor, ran off to Essos. Within the week she was on board of her ship sailing east in order to find him and bring him home. Unfortunately for her that happened to be precisely when the fighting was going on in the Stepstones, and upon request by Queen Rhaenys she was forced to partake in the fighting first, giving her brother more than enough time to get lost somewhere in the eastern continent.
So, for about four years she sailed from town to town giving chase until she finally caught his trail and chased him down in Qarth, drunk out of his mind, in the courtyard of some local magister. She quickly put him on a ship and sailed back to the Arbor with him.
The following years proved rather uneventful. There was the occasional Ironborn party which came too close to the island for comfort and needed to be met with force. An occasional escort for some trade convoy. Most of the time, however, she spent tending to her family’s lands whenever Clovis again decided to sail to Essos on “business”. Whenever he overstayed, it was her duty to go and fetch him again.

Timeline

Family Tree

· Osric Redwyne, deceased, father
· Joanna Redwyne, 52, mother
o Clovis Redwyne, 31, brother - AC
o Olivia Redwyne, 26 - PC
o Lydia Redwyne, 21, cousin/half-sister
· Simon Redwyne, 55, uncle
· Lucas Redwyne, 52, uncle/step-father???

Supporting Characters

Samuel Bellamy – Master-at-Arms
Henry Avery – Ship Captain

Auxilary Character

Basic Information

Name and House: Clovis Redwyne
Age: 31
Cultural Group: Andal
Appearance: For lack of a better word, Clovis Redwyne looks very polite. He’s got the typical red Redwyne hair and blue eyes, along with soft curves to his face. He’s got a short beard which is just the result of him too often being too lazy to just shave properly. Along with that his cheeks also have a bit of a red tint to them as he is often at least a little inebriated. He is a bit taller than average and surprisingly fit considering his lifestyle, but that stems mostly from him just walking so damn much.
Trait: Numerate
Skill(s): Scrutinous, Broker, Apothecary
Talent(s): Sommelier, Merchant, dodging responsibilities
Negative Trait(s): -
Starting Title(s): Lord of the Arbor
Starting Location: opening feast
Alternate Characters: -

Biography

Clovis was born a few years before the conquest. He was the firstborn and heir of Osric Redwyne so, naturally, the man built up a very close bond with his son. Unfortunately, it did not take long for him to die. And while the young lordling still had a loving mother and two pretty cool uncles, he was still undeniably left with some deep-rooted emotional issues. Putting him in a castle with the largest wine reserves on the continent was never going to end well.
He was a bright kid, skilled with numbers writing, but while his younger sister was out sailing with her uncles, he was in the cellars getting absolutely steaming, shitfaced, three sheets to the wind, plastered, buckled, bollocksed, flutered, scuttered, rotten, tit-faced drunk. Many attempts were made to keep him sane and safe, but somehow, he always managed to get his hands on some wine to self-destruct with. Sometime during all this, someone in the family got the bright idea to arrange a marriage for him, hoping that a wife would somehow make him get his life back on track.
It backfired, and a week before the arranged wedding was to take place, Clovis and some of his friends got on board of a ship and fled Westeros. However, the journey did very soon become a big mess, as none of those present were skilled sailors and managed to get stranded somewhere near Volantis. Surprisingly, it was this event which put his life on A track, not the right track, but A track. He was still a Redwyne, and Wine was still in his blood, both figuratively and literally, so in Essos he found a use for his talents, by becoming a renowned wine merchant. He would travel from Free City to Free City, from vineyard to vineyard, tasting and trying and buying and selling some of the best and most interesting wines there were.
His renown even got him as far as the gates to the jade sea, where he was hired by a magister of Qarth to obtain wine for a feast the man planned to host. It is there that his younger sister eventually found him and brought him back to Westeros to actually be the Lord of the Arbor in more than just name.
With all being said, he was actually rather decent at the job too. Well, liked by his people, competent enough, and crucially, a very skilled wine merchant. A combination of these managed to bring a time of prosperity to the island province.
In the years which followed, he would still frequently travel to Essos but also to major wine-producing areas of Westeros to do the same thing he had done before: taste and try, buy and sell the best and most interesting wines out there.

So last year I hooked up with a coworker. I knew she was married and had kids but she was unhappy, we grew closer and ended up having an affair. Allegedly, her first affair. In the beginning it looked like her marriage was done anyway and we would end up together. That of course never happened.
After a couple of months, I caught her with another man. I confronted her, she first denied everything. She kept saying that it was nothing and she still had feelings and didn’t want to lose what we had. We kept in touch for another 5 months with very big ups and downs. Very much hot and cold and there were a lot of signs that she was still seeing other guys. It all had a pretty big impact on my mental health. After 5 months I finally had the balls to cut her loose.
Now we’re a few months later. She’s a coworker so I still occasionally see her which makes it harder to completely move on. The hardest part for me is that she continues to lie, manipulate and cheat on her husband. Pretty much what she also did with me. It feels like what happened between us was meaningless and she didn’t learn anything, quite the opposite, she just learned to better hide it. It feels like I’m left with the shit while she continues to do what she wants with who she wants. I know it’s very hypocrite because it didn’t bother me when she cheated with me.
Now I’m constantly struggling with myself. I feel the urge to tell her husband what she does, but I also know this mostly comes from my own feeling of ‘injustice’, that none of it mattered. Any advice?

I haven’t been in the office brand world long enough to see how the pattern works. I see a lot of people say wait a month or two then there will be a clone. I’m just wondering if once big L announces a set, like the Mona Lisa or the Notre Dame Cathedral, do the other companies start working on them right away?