(since it's been a topic brought up again and again in my posts here on reddit: english's my 4th forein language. pls overread typos aso, and if something is unclear: pls ask me to rephrase the particular sentence/question - it might have been "lost in translation", thanks)
Hi,
for some reason (can't remember deleting the folder) i lost a whole folder of bookmarks. it's just gone - not moved into another folder aso, it's gone.
=> searched the bookmarks.bak-file, sadly it was syncronised already (same "last change"-time/date as the bookmark-file; what a wonderfull idea, sync the backup immediatly. why keep a backup longer than a few seconds, right).
i already searched the internet for solutions, apparently if the backup also doesn't contain the needed bookmarks, they're gone. ok. got a backup from march which contains SOME of the important bookmarks, but not all of them - it'd minimize the loss, BUT:
=> in the bookmark-manager, i can EXPORT the bookmarks, but importing them just does nothing.
Tried the bookmark-manager, tried the settings-menu (essentially doing the same), nothing works.
I also do not want to overwrite the whole bookmarks (80% of 'em are still accessible) because they've also seen some "movements" (some replaced, some added aso).
QUESION IS: how can i import the one folder from the backup-file into the current bookmarks, if the manager doesn't import a thing?
Brave-Version: 1.55.110 Chromium 125.0.6422.60 (updated this afternoon - i suspect at the time that one folder was suddendly gone) OS: linux mint 21.3 (cinnamon)
unfortunatly, timeshift didn't include the settings in /home - so i can't use that to revert to eg. yesterdays "state" of brave, when the bookmarks were where tey belonged...

I just realized after the update you can’t cash anymore which is sad or unless I’m not doing something right?

I used to be phone-obsessed. I’m talking scrolling late into the night, scrolling in the bathroom, scrolling first thing in the morning. I’d instinctively check my pocket multiple times when out and about just in case it had gone missing. Like, not only did I rely on it for practical reasons, I’d probably feel some kind of anxiety separation if I didn’t have access to it.
Which is exactly how I realized it was time to get rid of it. I deleted Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat accounts, cleaned out my inbox and camera roll, backed up everything worth saving to my desktop Mac (which stays in my room at all times), powered the iPhone down, and stuck it in a drawer, where it’s remained untouched for a few months now.
It was difficult at first. I’m Gen Z so most of my life has been phone-ful. There was so much extra silence—without checking notifs every few minutes, it felt like my friends didn’t exist. My birthday came and went, and the only “happy birthday”s came from those with whom I directly interacted; of those people, only a handful remembered. I constantly lost track of time, so I bought a watch. I googled directions before traveling to a new place and wrote them down on scrap paper, which I’d keep safely tucked between the pages of a growing journal collection, but I’d still get lost constantly. Multitasking was no longer an option as I could only do work when at home, in my room, connected to WiFi from my one virtual source.
However, these tedious differences improved the quality of my life DRASTICALLY. It felt as though hours of my day had been cleared up. I finally had time to lose myself in literature, crossword puzzles, cooking, and other hobbies without the pressure of the screen and virtual world waiting for my return. At night, I fell asleep much faster, and slept for much longer. I even found conversations with friends and acquaintances more interesting as I could fully invest myself. I started noticing things, like fragrances in the air, unlikely sounds; my sense of direction and handwriting both improved. I started writing letters (I now have two pen pals). Everything felt lighter, and the anxiety of not documenting everything—as I’ve grown to do over the years of the smartphone era—gradually abated.
I acknowledge that I am privileged to have access to a phone and the internet in the first place, and even more privileged to be able to give it up. Many need constant access to these things for their career or simply for survival. (I should mention that I am a college student, and my work this semester was completed from the computer, which obviously can’t travel with me). But I would strongly urge anyone on the fence about their phone addiction to give this a shot, even for a week or a month. Since working on myself, I’ve become aware of how energies shift in the presence of a phone; my friends walk and talk more slowly as their minds are split between real life and the social internet; my parents grow less present when they receive an alert. Yes, it’s cool that I found more contentment by becoming a Luddite, but in this day and age it’s ultimately impossible to remain this way forever. I feel sad knowing that this invention can’t be undone and that I never got to experience a world where nobody had access to their phones and instead made the most of real, tangible materials.
Btw, I’m not arguing that phones are bad or should be abandoned. They’ve done so much for us in terms of efficiency, employment, and communication. This has just been my (lucky) experience and I’m disappointed that this is the farthest I’ll get from the virtual world.

I used to be phone-obsessed. I’m talking scrolling late into the night, scrolling in the bathroom, scrolling first thing in the morning. I’d instinctively check my pocket multiple times when out and about just in case it had gone missing. Like, not only did I rely on it for practical reasons, I’d probably feel some kind of anxiety separation if I didn’t have access to it.
Which is exactly how I realized it was time to get rid of it. I deleted Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat accounts, cleaned out my inbox and camera roll, backed up everything worth saving to my desktop Mac (which stays in my room at all times), powered the iPhone down, and stuck it in a drawer, where it’s remained untouched for a few months now.
It was difficult at first. I’m Gen Z so most of my life has been phone-ful. There was so much extra silence—without checking notifs every few minutes, it felt like my friends didn’t exist. My birthday came and went, and the only “happy birthday”s came from those with whom I directly interacted; of those people, only a handful remembered. I constantly lost track of time, so I bought a watch. I googled directions before traveling to a new place and wrote them down on scrap paper, which I’d keep safely tucked between the pages of a growing journal collection, but I’d still get lost constantly. Multitasking was no longer an option as I could only do work when at home, in my room, connected to WiFi from my one virtual source.
However, these tedious differences improved the quality of my life DRASTICALLY. It felt as though hours of my day had been cleared up. I finally had time to lose myself in literature, crossword puzzles, cooking, and other hobbies without the pressure of the screen and virtual world waiting for my return. At night, I fell asleep much faster, and slept for much longer. I even found conversations with friends and acquaintances more interesting as I could fully invest myself. I started noticing things, like fragrances in the air, unlikely sounds; my sense of direction and handwriting both improved. I started writing letters (I now have two pen pals). Everything felt lighter, and the anxiety of not documenting everything—as I’ve grown to do over the years of the smartphone era—gradually abated.
I acknowledge that I am privileged to have access to a phone and the internet in the first place, and even more privileged to be able to give it up. Many need constant access to these things for their career or simply for survival. (I should mention that I am a college student, and my work this semester was completed from the computer, which obviously can’t travel with me). But I would strongly urge anyone on the fence about their phone addiction to give this a shot, even for a week or a month. Since working on myself, I’ve become aware of how energies shift in the presence of a phone; my friends walk and talk more slowly as their minds are split between real life and the social internet; my parents grow less present when they receive an alert. Yes, it’s cool that I found more contentment by becoming a Luddite, but in this day and age it’s ultimately impossible to remain this way forever. I feel sad knowing that this invention can’t be undone and that I never got to experience a world where nobody had access to their phones and instead made the most of real, tangible materials.
Btw, I’m not arguing that phones are bad or should be abandoned. They’ve done so much for us in terms of efficiency, employment, and communication. This has just been my (lucky) experience and I’m disappointed that this is the farthest I’ll get from the virtual world.

New version of the FB2 file with all Jerry stories in it!
You can download it from Discord here (no need for an account):
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/973312469051248697/1240775293950496901/Legend_of_Jerry_-_Posting_Order.fb2?ex=6647c98a&is=6646780a&hm=1ba520ec9b68562c5c01ca79bc633d6cab2da405a10f48510b440f8b14fbfc1b&

Changes (since last release on reddit)

16.05.2024

• Updated:
  • Jerry and the E-Girls up to part 35
• Added:
  • Greg and the Broken A/C
  • Jerry and the Sad, Broken, Tragic Ex
  • Vintress and the Fateful Hunt
  • Jerry and the Hunt
  • Jerry and the Men in the Mirror up to part 6

What is this?

A collection of main stories, spin-offs and vignettes written by u/MjolnirPants to date - compiled into a single FB2 file in the order of posting for comfortable reading!
Currently it includes:

• Legend of Jerry - Posting Order
• Jerry and the Goddesses
• Jerry and the Tradecraft
• Glenda and the Oracle
• Kathy and the Spirit of Terror
• Jerry and the Agency
• Jerry and the Crash Landing
• Jerry and the Lost Little Girl
• Sookie and the Girls' Night Out (A Legend of Jerry Vignette)
• Gary and the Ole Holler Moonshine
• Kathy and the Great Big Ball
• Inanna and the Potty Mouth
• Aaina and the Bullies
• Sookie and the Edgy Stan
• Jack and the Dysfunctional Family
• Cynthia and the Semi-Decent Proposal
• Sookie and the Post-Traumatic Stress
• Jack and the Stupid Magic Fuckers
• Sookie and the New Guy
• Duke and the Road Trip
• Jerry and the Chwistmas Miwacle
• Jerry and the Hurtful Rumor
• Glenda and the Happy Fun Story Time
• Jerry and the Downer Date Night
• Julie and the Rednecks
• Jerry and the Birthday Party
• Marty and the Welfare Check
• Geoff and the Prime Mark
• Kathy and the Nice Talk
• Jerry and the Apocalypse
• Kathy and the Groundhogs Day Flying Lesson
• Aaina and the Disney Vacation
• Glenda and the Family Reunion
• Zelda and the Mating Hunt
• Jerry and the Overkill
• Sookie and the Tricky Dick
• Gary and the Nightmare
• Nick and the Big Move
• Jerry and the Adoring Fans
• Inanna and the Babysitting
• Nick and the Quest
• The Most Reluctant Warrior: An Interview with Jerry Williams
• Sookie and the Bad Dick
• Inanna and the Ritual
• Jack and the Leg Day
• Kathy and the Empty Nest
• Jerry and the Human Resources
• Martin and the Summoning
• Jerry and the Warlock
• Ava and the Tourist Trap
• Inanna and the Glorious Combat
• Julie and the Night Off
• Sookie and the Same Old Dick
• Geoff and the Big Score
• Yarm and the First War
• Jerry and the Day Off
• Sara and the Body
• Kathy and the One Night Stand
• Eric and the Clockwork Girl
• Gary and the Domestic Dispute
• Jerry and the Lost Kingdom
• Jerry and the New Year's Resolution
• Liam and the Little Secret
• Jerry and the Villainous Monologue
• Sookie and the Scintillating Synchronized Sex Stuff
• Erinne and the Brave New World
• Jerry and the Reunion
• Roger and the Career Day
• Sookie and the Sleepover
• Glenda and the Morning Sickness
• Jerry and the E-Girls
• Greg and the Broken A/C
• Jerry and the Sad, Broken, Tragic Ex
• Vintress and the Fateful Hunt
• Jerry and the Hunt
• Jerry and the Men in the Mirror

FB2 (FictonBook2) file format is supported by a lot of e-ink book readers, as well as many book reading apps like FBReader, eReader Prestigio and many many others, available on every platform.
Additional formats like EPUB, HTML, PDF, Markdown (plain text) are available in community Discord.

Hello, as you can see in the picture, sine the Android beta 2 update on my pixel 8 pro, when I launch a Facebook video, the application is cut off at the bottom of the screen, you have the same thing ?

What got done today:
Content Creation:

• I posted my first reel on Insta/Facebook! - It was quite the rollercoaster of emotions and anxiety. Although it was a success, it was far from smooth.
  • First, I realized that I cannot use my YouTube video because reels come in a different size and it looked very choppy. So I scrambled and changed the formatting in Canva. It. Was. Not. Fun.
  • When I finally got it ready and figured out how to post the reel, I posted it to FB and Insta only to realize I forgot to add the hashtags. I was able to update the caption in one platform, but for the other I had to delete the video and repost.

Overall there was good reception to my brand launch and I saw family and friends repost the video. * I worked on my reel for tomorrow, which is a short reel (about 15 secs). I went back and forth about creating a longer and comprehensive video, but sided to maintain my plan to alternate between long, short, long, short…
Website

• FB Link: Still no update on the broken Facebook link on the website. I followed up on Fiverr.
• Email Campaign: the good news is that MailChimp offers free emails under the free version. The bad news is that there is no automation. I looked into other providers but they seem to have a pay wall as well. I figured that I’ll use MailChimp for now until my email list gets bigger. I'll send out a weekly email.
  • I started working on a template. I will include a feature of the week, a survey, and perhaps one of our social media posts. What else should I include?

Insights:

• On a podcast about growing one’s business, the presenter suggested that I reach out to “micro-bloggers” for two purposes: 1) product review that could be shared in their channel or 2) a formal business partnership.
  • It got me thinking about the review route. If I reach out to 100 micro-bloggers/influencers to introduce them to MYNDER and if on average these folks spread awareness to just 10 people, then I’ll reach 10% of my goal. I will be thinking more about this plan tomorrow.
• I saw a post on Reddit about Product Hunt. The post questioned the usefulness of Product Hunt, which has me rethinking this platform. I had created a campaign there but didn’t formally “Submit”. I need to do research on the ROI on this. Does anyone have experience with PH?

Tomorrow To-Do

• Share promo video on insta
• Play around with MailChimp for email campaign
• Review keyword list received from Fiverr gig.

​

Subscribers: 

Email: 30
YouTube: 2 (but 26 views 😊)
Instagram: 14

First of all, Hello there. I have been absent for well over 3 weeks at this point.
But that's not the point.
Today I wanna talk abt a specific Hypercharge for a brawler that isn't necessarily horrible but has major flaws.
In short, El Primo's Hypercharge sucks.
"Gravity Leap" pulls enemies towards the Epicenter of El Primo's super. While this def helps El Primo getting kills more consistently, there are a couple of things that should be discussed:
1) El Primo's enemies get shot way higher compared to his normal super, making El Primo no longer able to hit enemies while they're in the aiknocked back or whatever
2) The Hypercharge Multiplier of El Primo's Hypercharge is 30%. The Hypercharge Multiplier is a percentage that indicates how many supers it takes a brawler to charge a Hypercharge.
For El Primo's, what u need to do is divide 100 by 30 and the result is 3.33, which means that El Primo needs 3.33 supers to charge 1 Hypercharge.
That means that for a Hypercharge that does barely anything, u need to charge more than 3 supers.
3) "Gravity Leap" doesn't make El Primo's super bigger.
In the previous Brawl Talk (I think), The Brawl Stars Community Managers were, well, talking abt the next update and at one point they showed the set of Hypercharges.
These were: Bibi, El Primo, Cord, Belle, Buzz and Sprout.
While most of them are either pretty strong or just average, there's El Primo's which is just bad (yes, ik that Sprout's is also completly useless, but this post isn't abt Sprout)
In this brawl talk, the said that El Primo's Hypercharge should not only pull enemies closer towards El Primo, but also make EL PRIMO'S SUPER LARGER. They literally said it and if u don't believe and go and check it out at minute 2:45.
This whole thing makes me pretty sad. They ruined a Hypercharge that sounded balanced, even with the super being larger. Instead, just nerfing it at the last minute before sneak peeks.
Like I think that even with the larger super, El Primo's Hypercharge could have been fair and balanced, while not being such an underwhelming Hypercharge.
So, what should be done? I have been thinking abt this and I found a couple of solutions:
1) Make his super bigger while Hypercharged, like they said in the video. Not by much, like 20% bigger or smth like that
2) Just rework it. Now this is easier said then done.
Finding the perfect rework is impossible without receiving backlash by making the ability/mechanic itself weaker or busted.
Now this is my idea for a rework:
"Gravity Leap" keeps enemies inside of El Primo's Super Epicenter kinda of like a black hole, keeping them stuck for 1.5 seconds.
Basically El Primo's super stuns enemies for 1.5 seconds while keeping the ability to sucks enemies towards the super's Epicenter.
If this ends up being busted, just nerf the suction duration
If this ends up being not enough, then just make his Hypercharge Multiplier 40% instead of 30% of smth among those lines.
Now this is my idea for fixing and to just talk abt El Primo's Hypercharge which is just not the best. Is it one of the worst. Personally, yes. Feel free to insult me and disagree. U can roast me if u want to, tho if u do it I will also roast u.
But yea, this is it and I'll see you soon! Have a good night.

Hi everyone, I am writing this post because I’m having a really difficult time finding paid projects to do remotely. I’ve tried everything, from freelancing platforms to linkedin and Facebook. I feel like perhaps my skillset is not well suited for this type of work. I’ve a bachelors degree in EE, work experience of 1 year as a Python developer and my main skills are Machine Learning and Data Analysis. It’s just that not only do I see limited projects in this niche, but also never hear back. And I don’t know what to do and where to look.
I’ve only ever gotten work through Facebook honestly and these days even that is filled with spam and junk posts.
I can’t even seem to find one of those freelancers that outsource their work to other freelancers, at this point I am willing to take even that.
I have done all the things people recommend, get my CV reviewed, build my portfolio, keep my linkedin updated etc, infact I do hear back from onsite roles I apply to in companies in Pakistan but I am unable to work onsite for the foreseeable future.

Welcome to the Peanut Gallery! Sorry for the gap in updates. As you can see, I am no where near as dedicated as the master of the craft, having to juggle work and other things too. This is apprentice Lara filling in for the master thestoryteller987 with high hopes he is doing well.

The tempo of Russian offensive operations in northern Kharkiv Oblast continues to decrease after Russian forces initially seized areas that Ukrainian officials have now confirmed were less defended

basically, as we stated in a previous summary, Russia will park its artillery close over the Ukrainian border, but not too close that it becomes a target. Ballpark figure, lets syay within 10 KM. Then from there it can, without problem, bombard everything and anything it sees fit without the worry of western weapons striking back. Russian forces advance,, but the artillery does not. And suddenly you're in a sticky situation. A big push doesn't happen because the big guns can't reach and Russia is back to meat wave tactics against 13km and 20km of fortifications.

The US Helsinki Commission stated that the US should allow Ukraine to conduct strikes against military targets in Russia's border areas amid an ongoing Russian offensive operation into Kharkiv Oblast from Russia, although US officials continue to express unwillingness to support such strikes

Hence this is why the US needs to lift this silly sanction. If Ukrainian can strike, lets say 20 KM from its border, that'll deal with the building up of troops, the over the border artillery and what not.
See I have a slightly different idea. Now the UK has already said we wouldn't necessarily be sad if they used Storm Shadows in Russia. which is largely a political move because there are not that many of them. but maybe, with the acquirement of US aid, Ukraine can use these to clear out their border region a bit. I think the EU needs to grow a pair of balls and lift the sanction. Let the US play at peacemakecareful positioning. Even if the UK/EU can't produce as much as the US< being able to focus US fully on defense would free up enough for over the border strikes. I can see the benefit of careful limits I think what the EU doesn't want is to see the leopards driving across into Russia. that strikes me as a big step. Arguably, russian tanks already took that step, but still. I can see why they are concerned about that. But as long as boots and wheels stay on Ukraine's side of the border, I think it's perfectly reasonable that anything else is free game.

Russian President Vladimir Putin continues to publicly prioritize the further mobilization of the Russian defense industrial base (DIB) while also attempting to assuage possible domestic fears about the negative effects of increased Russian defense spending.

He's juggling realism with politics. Realisticly, the DIB needs to pull its finger out because Russia is facing huge shortages, bigger than the shortages of the toilet paper and pasta in Covid times. But to do that he'd have to go onto a war footing (ISW thinks this would not even be enough) but he also knows that Russian's don't want that. At all.

Putin stated that "whoever masters the latest means of armed struggle faster, wins" and called for the Russian defense industry to "double, triple" production and create more effective, accurate, and powerful weapons in order to decrease Russian losses.

He can call for it, doesn't mean it's ever going to happen. I calll for a million pound every day. Still hasn't happened and I honestly think I'm more likely to get that million pounds than the Russian DIB is to triple its production.

Putin specifically noted that the Russian DIB must increase the quality of Russian weapons.

I'd love to see some statistics: Launches :: num of exploded on launch :: num of hit on target. Russian weapons miss a lot, blow up in the wrong place a lot, and explode with less boom a lot. Still a complete and utter pain in the ass, especially for Ukraine, but a reassurance for NATO in so far as NATO can shoot better, more accurately and with bigger boomage.

Putin is likely concerned about the economic and diplomatic implications of decreased Russian arms exports.

In short, Russia is unable to keep up with its commitments to other countries, like India. It essentially said: We can supply you with fancy shmancy weapons if you allie with us. You won't need to worry about Uncle Sam filling your back yard with democracy an d liberty because Big Daddy Putin has got your back.
Accept.. He hasn't. they delayed shipments to India, and so not only are they getting pissy, but other countries who took his word for it (Armenia) are now going wait... Can we actually trust this Vodca drinking guy know what he is saying?

The Kremlin confirmed the appointments of the newly formed Moscow and Leningrad military districts (MMD and LMD) and other military district commanders on May 15.

TLDR: A bunch of generals got moved about. A bunch of nobody's I don't know the names of or history. Sorry. This is why thestoryteller987 is better at this than me. In short, Russia likes to play his generals against each other to gain favour with him. Which works until they all become pissed off with him and cut off his head. Dschinghis Khan did something similar, and for him it worked... Kind of. Until he died. And the whole system collapsed/ And Putin is getting mighty old...

Russian sources speculated that the May 13 detention of Russian Deputy Defense Minister Lieutenant General Yuri Kuznetsov is only the beginning of a wider effort to root out corruption within the Russian Ministry of Defense (MoD).

It could be as ISW speculates although I personally think this is the cover for a bit of a purge. Putin needs yes sir men and loyalists and that chain has to remain strong. If someone becomes slightly discontent, that could spread.

US Secretary of State Antony Blinken announced during a joint press conference with Ukrainian Foreign Minister Dmytro Kuleba on May 15 that the US will provide a two billion dollar "defense enterprise fund" to Ukraine

This is going into Ukraine's DIB, the purchase of weapons, and purchasing weapons from other countries. This bit made me laugh a little:

helping Ukraine purchase military equipment and weapons from the US and other countries.

Basically, hey, here's 2 billion for you to give to me so I can give you a gun.

Ukraine's Main Military Intelligence Directorate (GUR) reportedly struck a Russian fuel depot in Rostov Oblast on the night of May 14 to 15.

Pop pop! Another depo struck by Ukraine lightning. Does Russia have many of these left now?

The Kremlin continues to add European officials to Russia's wanted list as part of Russia's efforts to assert the jurisdiction of Russian federal law over sovereign NATO member states.

This is so pointless. And we do it back. Putin is wanted by the hague. He's never going to stand trial, and if those individuals on Russia's list are captured, they won't either jjust for slightly different reasons. It's interesting though that Zelensky has been on and off the list a few times. Surely' he's the top target?
In summary though these wanted lists are an information campaign, part of Russia's vast info war tactics. Laying the ground for future work.

Russian forces recently made confirmed advances in northern Kharkiv Oblast, near Siversk, and west of Donetsk City.

ISW has a fairly low opinion of these advances, just the usual daily grind.

Ukrainian National Security and Defense Council Secretary Oleksandr Lytyvyenko assessed on May 15 that Russian forces will have enough tanks and armored fighting vehicles for the next year and half of fighting in Ukraine at their current operational tempo

Far too long, if you ask me! Someone give Ukraine some more guns so we can end this by Christmas!

Ukrainian officials continue to warn that Russian forces are systematically and increasingly using chemical weapons and other likely-banned chemical substances in Ukraine. The Ukrainian Support Forces Command stated on April 5 that Ukrainian forces have recorded 371 cases of Russian forces using munitions containing chemical substances during the last month and 1,412 cases of Russian forces using chemical weapons between February 2023 and March 2024.

Please give Ukraine what they need to bring this war to an end.
‘Q’ for the Community:

• So. US weapons striking over the border in Russia. What's your take?

• Join the conversation on /TheNuttySpectacle!

I (27F) last last winter (2022) wrote a long letter to my mom. I poured my heart into it, I cried the whole time writing it. I showed it to my husband to make sure I wasn’t being too mean in my writing towards my mom. I showed it to my stepsister to again make sure it was okay and made sense and to get emotional support (I’m Mexican and I didn’t want to push too far because i understand how deep generational trauma is and the parent child dynamic) I even showed it to my stepdad who immediately called me apologizing for the things I wrote in the letter (which I will get into in a moment) and was telling me about how he will divorce her (I didn’t want that and made me feel shitty) and explained why some scenarios ended up the way they did. Everyone encouraged me to send it. I was so confident that my mom was going to read it and drive over ? Write back? Call me. Something ! So I mailed it. (I mailed it because I instantly cry every time I try talking to her in person about not surface level things, it would of been easier getting words out especially when having to translate to Spanish)
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being yelled at for not cleaning everyday (I was the only child who would clean the kitchen and pick up leaves in the fall and stuff), sometimes she would clean again after I would do it. when asking to teach me how to do it better I would be ignored -asking her a question and being ignored -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my step dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -about the time she grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to the shower because I forgot to pick up the hairs I left in there after my shower -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were (a lot of the meanness was when it was just my mom and I) it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letter were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.

other 2xic bfs gets mad kapag nagpopost ng sexy pics gf nila 'di ba? my bf don't get mad but he gets sad.
kapag magsusuot ako ng gusto ko kasi i'm vv confident sa time na 'yon, and want ko ipost/ gawing display picture (e.g. my bikini outfit sa beach escapade namin) kasi i'm very proud sa result ng gym workouts ko. he's sad raw kasi someone might get attracted sa'kin, i assure him naman na kahit sino pang maattract sa'kin i'd still choose him and i also told him other kinds of reassurances. he'll eventually agree naman pero biglang magiging cold, so edi ako sasabihin ko na lang na hindi ko na gagawing display picture para hindi na siya magtampo. nakakasad lang din sa part ko kasi i am finally having my confidence na once in a blue moon lang mag-appear (and he knows it) tapos ayun ;(
ito rin, when i hangout with my friends. i tell him naman when, where, sino mga kasama, ano mga gagawin sa hangout namin (such as movie marathon, girls' pamper day, kakain sa labas). pero pag-uwi ko sad raw siya nagooverthink na baka may ibang lalaki na kasama, tapos ako like "???" kasi nagsesend naman ako ng pictures for updates, or need ba na kada kung anong gagawin ko is maupdate ko sakaniya? pero despite my pagkairita i assured him pa rin, kaso minsan lang it's tiring na parang palagi na lang akong kulang, i mean i know naman na getting tired is part of the rs pero para kasing ako lang may effort.
i love him and want ko sana na maclarify 'yung pagooverthink ko na he's manipulating me.

Hi, I have recently had problems trying to switch accounts using facebook on the PC version of the game. I have no problem switching using the same accounts on my phone, so its not the accounts.
I get the message 'not bound to a game account' when trying, I can still use the apple sing in to switch accounts though.
Is anyone else suddenly having this issue? Is it potentially because of the latest update?

My apologies in advance if this is long. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.

Background; my mum is an alcoholic and has been my whole life, she made me homeless multiple times as a young adult and as a young mother, she completely disregarded me and my children in our time of need. She has also rang social services on me with a load of lies and malicious intent multiple times. I have created a beautiful life for me and my children in a home full of love and laughter. On the day my daughter was born, she ran off and got drunk in a ditch because they wouldnt let her into the hopsital as i was in a seperate room as i had an emergency c section. One month before my son was born, she punched me in the face. She continues to emotionally neglect us, but I know it's the Alcoholism so I still try to maintain a relationship with her. My mum and dad had been separated for a few years before his death, but were still kind of on and off. As I was by his side in the days leading up to his death, she would send nasty messages which he wasn't able to read, she sent nasty messages to my dad's family on the day of his funeral which she wasnt allowed to attend. She has a victim mindset and refuses to acknowledge or take responsibility for how she contributed to all the turbulent relationships she has had.
My mum has a neighbour who moved in less than a year ago, this neighbour is a young single mother who has got herself out of a bad situation and is still getting her life in order. My mum gets distressed because she can hear her shouting at what my mum assumes is her children. My mum rang social services, housing and the police on her before she had even introduced herself to her. They first met face to face when there was an issue with a joint drain overflowing and it turned ugly, with the girl knocking on my mums door being defensive as she now sees my mum as a threat due to her calling everyone which could have potentially resulted in her losing her home and children, my mum slammed the door in her face. I couldn't stand my mum being in a state of distress without trying to help, so I introduced myself to this girl after the school run as our children attend the same school, just so she can associate my mum with me, a friendly face, and so I could step in if needed. I cut my mums hedge and I couldn't reach the top on her side, so I knocked on the door but there was no answer, i found her on Facebook and asked if she would like me to do her side; she declined as she wasn't in but appreciated the offer. Since then, I have had messages from her regarding the disputes between her and my mum and I have tried to stay unbiased and help keep the peace. This girl is exactly where I was less than 5 years ago, just overcome homelessness and abuse, traumatised and trying to fix her life with no support. I really see myself in her and i have so much compassion for her and her situation. I have shared the things that helped me find peace in my own mind and by extention, create a peaceful loving life all round. My advice must have helped as my mum said she didn't hear anything at all for half a week when before it was every single day. But then my mum decided not to cut her side of their shared front garden. I asked my mum how much ot would have cost to do it and she didnt want to tell me. I asked was it a pathetic amount and she said yes; it would have cost £5 extra to do it. I said you have done it out of spite and that's wrong. If you can take a little bit of stress off of a struggling mother than £5 is worth it. She asked me to not talk to the girl anymore and I said I'm not going to stop being kind just because you are choosing to be angry. She then blocked me and we haven't spoken for 2 weeks, except when she unblocked me to send me more abuse and then I blocked her. I haven't spoken to the neighbour either until 2 days ago where she told me my mum has been screaming through the walls that she has called social services again. The neighbour told me the social services have been in contact again. My nan has told me that my mum hasn't done it, but I don't believe her at all because she done the same to me and then tried to deny it but soon admitted it was her because I knew for a fact it was her.
I've taken myself out of the situation as my efforts of keeping the peace were obviously wasted and the only positive impact I had on this situation was I helped this girl feel that she has a choice of peace and love when all she has known is trauma and abuse. Another positive thing is I have realised so much of my energy was wasted on being sad that my mum doesn't love me (or show that she loves me) and now I am emotionally available to be overwhelmed with love and awe for my own children.
Am I the asshole here?

My BPD mom got in a car accident a couple hours ago due to bad weather and someone sliding on the freeway into or in front of her. I found out because I got an automated text that a crash has been detected. My sister and dad got that text as well. We all tried to call my mom but no answer. There was terrible traffic at the location so we assumed the crash was bad. My sister lives far, so she started driving to where the location was. My dad immediately left for the location but there was terrible traffic and I stayed home. My mom wasn’t answering her phone and I got another automated text that her location had moved. I was calling both her and hospitals until I got a final automated text saying her location had moved to a hospital. I got in touch with that hospital but they couldn’t tell me anything because she just arrived but a nurse would call me.
This morning I helped her put her bags in her car and I wasn’t especially nice to her but I wasn’t rude to her. I said “good morning” and “you’re welcome.” I thought of all the conflict we’ve had lately and was worried she would die. It had been about 45 minutes since the accident and after calling her 30+ times, she finally answered. The nurse helped her answer the phone and she was talking. I FaceTimed her so I could see her condition and she looked terrible. Collar, bandaged head, dried blood on her face, and two swollen black eyes. I was the only one in my family who stayed calmed and was texting updates in our family group chat based on what her and the nurses were saying.
I stayed on the phone with her distracting her and making her laugh until my dad got there. We were having a good conversation and she said she was “hugging her phone.” I genuinely enjoyed talking to her and I didn’t feel manipulated. Sometimes when she’s in pain (which is a lot because she’s disabled) I feel like I’m being manipulated. Then my dad was panicked so I stayed on the phone longer and texted him to calm down because he’s scaring her. Once he was calmer and she was better, I decided to get off the phone since doctors and officers were in and out. My dad said I was the best one in the family to help my mom by talking to her and my mom said it meant so much.
She has a large cut on her forehead and has some slight bleeding in the brain. She’s going to stay overnight to be monitored. I’m going to visit her in a few hours once the weather gets better.
I’m posting this because I’m flooded with emotions. I want to get closer to my mom because I care about her yet anytime I’m close to her, she hurts me. Is it worth it? I think so. The panic of thinking my mom was dead freaked me out. She had a suicide attempt last year and I didn’t feel this same fear. I’m kind of angry that I don’t have a mother who’s easy to love and care for. But I do love and care for her. Hearing her laugh made me happy and seeing her messed up condition made me sad. Every time she would cry out in pain, I could feel it in my heart. I hope that maybe she hit her head hard enough for the BPD to go away. I know it doesn’t work like that though. I’m just overwhelmed and would love support because I feel conflicted. I feel like a shitty daughter. I’m a very calm person and can handle her yelling at me, but I know that I can be cold. I want to be nice to my mom the way she wants me to, but I feel like I can’t without going crazy. I just want to be the daughter she wants. The way she acted today and all that she’s been through, I feel she deserves a nice daughter. Anyway, I’m overthinking and would love some insight, opinions, or validation. Thank you.

this is not me trying to sound like a crazy ex employee . i used to work at a certain dog boarding / daycare , i left for personal reasons . a big one being that this place had obviously been for the money rather than the care of the dogs they take care of , which was why i went into this type of business . they already had underlying issues , but after i left it seemed to have gotten worse . my partner still works at the same place , with this i get updated on what's going on . i am genuinely scared for these dogs , there is harm being done with zero repercussions . my partner and an ex employee i work with now have been seeing what we can do . our only problem , there's no kennel regulations in texas and the best we've been told is to tell police . we're wanting to see if there is anything else we can do before going to them . examples of things that's happened with little to no repercussions , and why i'm fearful for these dogs . content warning for what is being brought up next : harm on dogs .

• a few weeks ago someone left a silver lab out in the high 80s with no water or anyway to cool off for 15 - 20 minutes, possibly more . the dog could barley walk and was basically dragged back to his kennel . person did not let anyone know of this , leaving him in his kennel with no water or anything to cool him down . the only reason someone had noticed something was wrong was that the manager could hear his breathing through the wall that was connected to the office . his temperature had reached at least 106.7 , he was going in and out with his eyes rolling back . he soon had to be rushed to the vet , set with ivs to rehydrate and antibiotics . if they hadn't caught this in time it could have been worse . the person who left him and did nothing for his care , had no repercussions and is still able be in charge of the dogs . best they did was set up flyers for heat stroke . the manager back pedaled on some of the things and has been trying to play off as no big deal .
• there is constant outbreaks of kennel cough plus others as the owner does nothing to quarantine . when i first started to work there we had an area , which kept getting moved , to which then became nonexistent . there is very little care when sickness spreads . the owner will mix infected dogs with non-infected .
• got info that one of them employees is now strictly grooming and reception . why ? they beat a dog so bad with a stick the dog had to be rushed to the vet with possible brain damage . sadly don't know the dog as my partner only found this out due to the object being banned . the person still works there , main reason i'm scared is due to being able to groom dogs still . grooming is in its own room , where they can be alone with the dog .
• medication is constantly missed , but this does not seem to issue the manager or owner .
• the place is infested with rats and bugs , and the place is quite literally falling apart . no exterminator , nothing to help repair the building .

my partner is willing to get any proof that they're able to . it's a difficult situation as this is their only source of income at the moment , so they can't lose this job . they do not keep security footage either , but my partner is willing to get what they can . i fear for these dogs as the manager and owner obviously show no care to the actual animals . with the heat thing , i worry for the summer . mainly with the fact it was a single dog , yet the person has already showed enough neglect . somehow they can still be in charge of a whole group and staff . is there anything we can do ?

I will try to write it not too long, but I have too. As someone who is mentally ill, I was trying to find out what is wrong with me, changing medications...but I can see now that I'm not depressed, just sad. And telling it may help me, even if no one will read it. But even I can't tell everything, it's interesting story.
We were almost for 3 years in ldr (37F&M). I was never lucky in love, never could be with someone I loved, even they loved me too. Became a single mother (after 15 years he is crying how stupid he was). I got even married, I was pregnant and quite happy, I tried to make it work, but nothing in the marriage wasn't working. We didn't have anything in common, sex few times a year, then nothing. When I was 34, I was fine and satisfied. I had a great job, good money, looked great, 2 amazing children, accepted that I had to divorce and that I will stay alone because of my previous experinces.
Soon, I met a guy in a facebook group. We just started talking, he seemed to be much younger, so I was relaxed. But we had always a lot to talk about, soon spending whole nights talking. It took few months, until we had realized we felt in love. I was damaged from previous relationships, didn't trust anyone, didn't beleive in love. I was trying to run from it, but it wasn't possible. During the time, I'd found a lot about him, we was using profile of someone else, had very hard childhood (he is from poorer country than me), did bad things as young, had to leave the country to save his life. So much damaged. This caused a lot of hard fights between us of course, but we were able to get over it. And it was going better by the time when many things got clear, we were able to trust each other. Every free moment, we were talking. Often whole nights. We had the same plans for future, the same opinions, we could talk nonstop without being bored. And planned our future together even it was difficult. We met in person after two years and it was amazing. We were like happy married couple. He was so caring for me, so much in love. Even we had such strong desire for each other (and had the same intimate preferences, which was huge win for me), we spent a lot of time walking, drinking and talking for whole nights. And after few days, I had an incident, I broke few bones. I was in terrible pain, but still joking, but he was so scared and shaking, taking all care for me, carrying my handbag in hospital, taking care for everything. We were first time together and for few days when it happened. Many men would be annoyed by this, many wouldn't help so much. I saw that this man was really a treasure.
When I had to leave, it was heartbreaking for us both. I thought I would be able to visit him soon again. But it wasn't possible. He lives in a poor country, not able to go abroad. And I lost my job. I had enough money for long time, but not to travel abroad. I got more depressed, because even as a top qualified, I couldn't find a new job. I still had to live in my ex hb's apartment (I can't move outside the city because of children now). Started drinking too much. But we were going through this all together. Getting rid of alcohol addiction together.
Someone could ask, I had several plans how to do it future. Everything legally, considering my children. There's a solution for everything. I loved him so much and he proved me his incredible love to so many times. But recently, he started to be really desperate. So much missing me. Sometimes begging me to do crazy things like to take children and go to him. But I couldn't do it of course. He wanted me to come to him in certain time soon, but I didn't know if it would be possible. He offered to pay for me and there I may made a mistake, I refused, I wanted to have my own money. I told him it wouldn't be possible probably. I was trying to find a solution, but I couldn't promise anything.
We were still be so in loved and devoted to each other. I don't care about the circumstances and his past, because he had such good heart and loved me so much. He was the first one who told me "I love you" and I could tell him the same. He was such an amazing partner, worth all the effort. He was Orthodox, I'm baptised. But I planned to do it because he wanted to have a wedding in a church and I liked this church. We were even talking about it just few day before we spent night talking, drunk, he was finally able to talk about his pain from his previous life. And suddenly he told me he wanted be a muslim. He find the love of Allah. And how he is the most and like this. I didn't expect it, I was stunned, angry when he was talking that Allah was the most important for him. It was always me. We got in fight. Nothing extraordinary, but the next day I day a very difficult time. I told him sorry for my bad words. I had extremely difficult the whole week, one of most difficult in my life. And he didn't talk to me at all. I needed him, he was the closest person for me. After the week, I tried to talk to him. And it was a disaster. I got a lecture how I was disrespectful to his God (actually not to his God, but to him), he was so awful, arrogant and sniffy. Talked like an ISIS member. It got better in the next days. I saw still love to me in him. I was trying to get used to it, that he became a Muslim, but I didn't want it had any effect on our relationship and future family life. I didn't want to leave him. We had good days, bad days. But it couldn't work. He was still going to be such an arrogant awful person. I tried to be nice to him, but he was behaving like I was annoying him. He isn't the person I loved anymore. He was always loving, with good heart, devoted to me. It was enough for me. But this person doesn't exist anymore. I miss him so much, our love, his smile, his voice, talking with him. He was planning to ask me to marry him this summer. It would be the most beautiful time in my life, I had been dreaming about it, a man I love would ask me to marry him. I miss his face and smile. I saw him last time 3 weeks ago. I miss everything. Him, his and our love. Our time spent together even for long distance. Our future. I lost everything.
I know this person I loved doesn't exist anymore. He is still drinking, doing crazy stuff. But Allah is more worth than me. He showed that I was annoying to him. It's not the person I knew. It's someone totally else. I miss him so much. I know he doesn't exist anymore. But I'm still so sad and desperate for my love.