In a previous comment I mentioned:
I was a bit frustrated with a guy who put his arm around me after 4 dates but still stayed platonic but friendly after 8 dates. I decided to initiate the next move after waiting and waiting by staying long at the goodbye hug at 11 pm in the parking lot. You know what, he was startled and planted a awkward kiss on my cheek then did nothing. We continued to meet up but I backed off, thinking I was friend zoned. I am still attracted but a bit frustrated by the mixed signals.
We had had some exchange of texts recently that he circled back to talking about the hug: He said, "After starting to hug, I tend not to feel like letting go, which I realize can be a bit awkward, so I am glad you did not mind."
I responded, "Regarding the hug, I appreciate your kind response. But I should take responsibility for getting totally carried away in the moment, perhaps influenced by the growing comfort and sense of connection and affection between us. I realized afterward that it could have been a bit awkward. Thank you for bringing it up kindly, so that I can take the opportunity to apologize if I caught you off guard or made you uncomfortable."
Then He sent me this, "Thank you for your very sweet and considerate comments. I had actually hoped we would end the evening with a nice hug, and was pleasantly surprised when it happened so naturally. However, as you probably sensed, there was indeed some anxiety on my part. (That was due to my own baggage, being wary of getting totally carried away myself, while not being sure of what significance might be attached to my enthusiasm, perhaps leading to awkwardness in our friendship. I could tell you some interesting stories...) So, in fact, what I *actually* wanted to apologize for in the previously (I don't know how we will break the cycle of apologies, so I hope you don't find it necessary to apologize back to me :)) was being a bit stiff and inert in my response to your hug. I am actually capable of being a much better hugger. I will try to make up for it next time. And you should not be shy about getting"totally carried away" :). Affection is nice."
It is so weird... A hug is just a hug. We can simply laugh off the awkwardness. And I thought we got over it. I don't understand how we make make it up. We cannot go back to the past to redo it. And it was a very sweet moment that his embrace felt like home. We were both true to ourselves in the moment. Even the awkwardness was sweet because it was genuine. I don't see why he needs to apologize. Instead, I felt a bit sorry that it caused so much anxiety in him.
I am leaning towards cut him off before trying to stay as friends. I value his presence in my life in whatever form. But he is causing too much confusion and stress. And I felt like being rejected softly that he decided to stay friends after the struggle.
Dear dofs, what do you think?

For anyone following we’ve had a few good weeks and things seem to be trending towards actually recovering and reconciling.
I also have recently been taking new medicine for my anxiety and while it’s helped quite a bit, when I take it as it’s new and we’re adjusting the dose, it causes spikes in my anxiety and then it feels like someone else is driving my body sometimes.
Anyways I was having a bad anxiety day. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from racing and drawing conclusions. My WW had thus far been honest with me and I may have fucked it all up. I let my anxiety control the conversation and I told her I can’t do this anymore. My brain wasn’t letting me reconcile what she was saying to her AP, and the reasons why she was saying those things (my love, cutie, sweetheart, or sending her love songs).
Her reasoning for not cutting off AP was because she said that AP is still dealing with a lot of grief with the death of her sister so my WW is trying to “be there and support her”.
This, obviously did not add up for me. I didn’t understand what was going on or why. The AP would often not respond to the cutesy stuff or leave her on read. I knew these things but still didn’t understand why my WW was saying it. Her reason wasn’t good enough.
It came to a head then the other day. I said I couldn’t do this. Hoping she’d help talk me down. Calm me down. And she tried but I let the anxiety control the conversation. I told her it didn’t make sense. That I don’t know why she’s saying those things. When she told me it would be platonic.
Well, the conversation devolved and I ended up having a panic attack and had to take like an hour or so and just breathe.
WW messaged me again and we were able to work through most of it. What I said. She had sent an email as a “declaration of love”. Highlighting how much she misses AP. AP hasn’t responded.
I knew she sent an email, not the content, and that came out in my spiral. She did send me it and I saw all the contents.
She maintained she “didn’t cheat”. I confronted her on this. Told her what I assumed happened. She tried to say that she was sorry I was hurt but supposedly I should’ve known when she said it was done that she was okay to do whatever.
I said nudes, and sexting, and making out is cheating. She agreed. So then I said you cheated. As I don’t do those things with my “friends”.
WW tried to justify it and when I simply said “Whatever” was when she took accountability. Stating that “Fine, it was a shitty thing to do.” I said I wasn’t sure she believed that.
She said, “Maybe I do believe it and I’m trying not to feel like a shitty human being and move on. Something you keep saying you’d like to do and then you continuously remind me of how shitty I am.”
Which 1) She hasn’t actually ever acknowledged or said something like the above. Surprising me with what seems to be the truth. 2) She says I remind her but it’s only a reminder because I was asking questions on things for clarity. And because I wasn’t willing to let her rug sweep.
So those two things together, make sense. It’s better than I never did that or I do XYZ with a lot of my friends.
Also stated that she still hasn’t sent anything sexual. Isn’t making any plans with her. Hasn’t seen her in over a month.
Which brings us to the culmination, I still pressed for a why? Why all that shit?
She said, “I’ve been testing her a lot with shit I say cuz I’m starting to see that I’m just the love of her life when it’s convenient for her. So.”
Following up with:
“That is why I haven’t stopped saying things. Because if im going to walk away from something 100% I need to know I’ve given it every opportunity. She knows how I feel. She can step up and grow up or I’m moving on without her. So. But when I try to get answers from her over messenger she avoids answering me or changes the subject or just plain doesn’t respond for two days.”
I asked her how she thought that was keeping things platonic or how that was her stepping back?
Responded with, “Because if she’s in fact not trying to or planning on making changes to herself then I’d rather just have a clean break and be done so I can move on. I’ve been getting real vague answers and I’m over it. I’m tired of having good things turn into bad things and I’m tired of just not being happy no matter what I do. That’s the mood I’ve been in for weeks now. I feel like an idiot for letting her in again.”
Which is why she’s trying to focus on just herself.
She also added that she’s not “testing me” because we’re still basically living our life together. She is watching what I’m doing and the changes I’m making for myself and she is so far very happy with the results. She says she knows how I feel about her and she’s never doubted it.
That was the truth. Finally. She said she didn’t think I’d believe her. But I do because that makes more sense than “I’m trying to be there for support”.
During the peak of my spiral she had said that AP was or is actually pushing her back towards me, until this stupid attack.
Thankfully she’s understanding of med changes and while she said her feelings were hurt she doesn’t think it set us back. We even were intimate later that night. Something she acknowledged earlier in the convo and said I’m doing things with you I’m not with her.
It’s still a hard place to be. But she’s here. She’s trying. I have to trust the process. Trust her. Which is something that I caused/had issues with before she cheated.
Today is also the anniversary of our first date. So I’m trying to focus on what she’s said and the actions she’s said. All things said, she’s been clear and transparent during this. May have not told me all the truth, but she did. And it makes sense.
She wished me a Happy Anniversary without prompting. So. I’m trying to look forward. That we’ll be able to get there.
I know this was a lot. I’m open to opinions or what have you.
Thank you, ~Ish

Hello everyone! I have decided to leave my thoughts here, so whatever happens, happens, I just feel like I should do it somewhere. Oh my, I typed a lot, I'm not even confident enough that this will be read, but hey I've got nothing to lose. So, I'm a guy who just recently hit 20 and the ways I think and feel are changing and I am having difficulties because of that. This will be related to my feelings, thoughts and my wishes, the last part is something I'm not used to having. The main problem will be my father who is not supporting that. However I wouldn't say it's just some "disagreement" or anything, but something bigger. So I will leave some stuff I've been through and how I felt at those times. I hope someone can help or anything
Before school: I would be super talkative with the family and neighborhood kids, just being annoying and putting out some childlike opinions and just being a little loud burden when I'm comfortable. When I'm not, I'd just be the quiet kid I've been taught to be, not nice bothering grownups, they're scary
Elementary school: As a kid I never had too many friends, I always attached to that one person and was connected with them the most and it was enough for me. However I happened to have some silly luck where whenever I'd get attached to someone they would magically appear to move out of the country and I'd find a new friend and repeat the same cycle. Definitely didn't hang out with multiple people at once. Wasn't aware this was doing something to me. A lot of them were friends that played a lot of video games and I got into playing video games too. A bit too much perhaps because it would happen to delay everything, including my knowledge of everything till this very day. Both in elementary and high school I was a straight A, "gifted kid" and all that nerd stuff. Of course I did it all because I feared the reaction of my parents if I wasn't doing as good as I was supposed to. My mom was more understanding than my dad. I could always ask her things like "Would you still love me if I wasn't getting As?" and she would comfort me and all the good stuff. I was always afraid of my dad so I never had deeper talks with him. Even today, I have deep talks with my mom and love spending time with her but I can end up being all day alone with my dad and we share 20 words. But now not that much because of fear but because of habit I guess. My whole life goal at this stage was just not making him angry. I didn't have any hobbies, just burning through games and school books. When it was time to go to highschool, I picked some random school not directed into anything, (uhh I don't know the words, gymnasium? the school that has a little bit of everything, nothing specific, English is not my native language) it was kinda directed to coding but not really, I picked it because, hey I like games, this should be fun, I could make games.
Highschool: My habits have hit me, and I realized I'm not really engaging in healthy human activities so I have been so afraid of not being able to make friends. Because I usually spent my social time with one friend in my house or their house I didn't really know anything about my town or places or activities or whatever at the age of 15. I was scared of simply being too far behind on everything and that I couldn't make friends. However I happened to find some kid who was just like me and I clicked with him. Oh my, repeating the cycle, am I not? However I didn't want to repeat the cycle. And I wanted to go meet more friends from the class and see what's up, I'm tired of feeling like an outcast. I've been lucky and I've met some great guys where I've seen what it means to have self-respect, self-love, a backbone, goals, how you can rebel against things you find ridiculous and all the most insane of them all, ~confidence~. Thanks to being in that group of 5 friends, I've been taught so many things I should have known ages ago and I was able to feel okay around people, start going to the gym, going out in town, advancing even as far as going to different towns and trying out things I didn't feel comfortable thinking about before. Was able to talk to girls on a deeper level and had an embarrassingly late realization of "hey, they're human too!". Things I did were nothing too crazy ever, I still had my dad's ideals hanging over my head, so I never felt comfortable engaging in some things like drinking or going to parties out late (well, he wouldn't allow me to leave the house late anyways). Eventually I figured out I can just lie to him to make things less complicated by twisting the story a little bit, that's how I ended up going to another town. The first time I confronted him about something bigger, is when I wanted to go to another country on my own so I could meet up with my girlfriend at that time and I was tired of him not allowing me stuff and I just dropped my first ever assertive-ish sentence to him. "I want to ask you something but I don't want your answer to be no". He allowed me to, was taken aback though. That trip was one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had in my life. I think he allowed me to only because it was a girl in question, and I wasn't really having girl friends in highschool, was scared because of all the generalization I've heard from my father and the relationship between my parents, and I truly wasn't excited about the whole idea of marriage. My dad is very traditional and he loves being in control of my life because he believes that a man should fully provide for his family, that he should simply deal with this deal with that, that a wife must obey him, that parents are most important no matter how they act yadda yadda. A lot of old thinking I never agreed with but couldn't do much about it anyways so let's just live I guess. However one thing I did continue in highschool is my addiction to video games. But then I stopped because I felt guilty for not studying and felt guilty for not learning about music or town areas all my friends know. So I started listen to music properly and I got hooked to it. This has grown into a bigger problem now and I'll go in the final stage of my life because I feel like this is so much text.
University: (if I say uni/college, I'm talking about the same thing, I don't know if there's a difference between the two words) Oh well, you remember how I said that the addiction is gonna make a problem? Well, I started studying engineering. Thanks to my high grades and me doing the entrance exam relatively well, I got into the "toughest college in the country". Now, the fun part is that now that I have to detach from listening to music for multiple hours a day and absolutely doing stupid dances and releasing my energy outside because I don't know what to do with it, I realized I never thought about what I loved... And, well let's just say I don't really know if engineering, nor coding was the way to go. Crisis time. However I don't like anything, what do I do I'm gonna lose my mind. Well, let's just try having friends? I met some of the most beautiful souls ever on this university and I have reached the point of being able to "be myself" and show the world my weirdness and all the goofy opinions and statements my mind creates. I go to that college sometimes just to see all those beautiful people again and again. They're serious about what they're doing and about their studies, I wish them the best, I really hope I don't negatively affect them. However, I tried to research a bit on what I might actually truly love. And after stumbling through life this last year while pretending everything's okay when dad asked, and telling the truth to my mom, I stumbled onto psychology. And well I have went to that college, to see the lessons and classes and wow, studying can be fun? So I'm thinking about finally taking a wrong turn on this path I was always meant to take from the beginning of my life, and follow this, just to see what's gonna happen. What's the purpose of pushing software engineering when I know I'll feel about it like any other job. I'm not money hungry anyways, I'm hungry for being fulfilled. I've confronted my dad about wanting to change my career, to which I've been called many names, been extremely judged for my choices and I've been told to cut off my hair and stop going to the gym as punishment (I'm not planning on listening to this). I've never been physically abused by my dad, but I'm scared if he's insane enough to do something to me now because he set me a timer of 7 days to cut off my hair. Oh yes btw, I always wanted to have long hair and he never agreed, I was too scared to ever do it. Recently I've changed my mind and he hates it so now he wants it gone. I'm genuinely concerned if he's gonna launch on me with scissors or something ridiculous. You see, even now I am so easily manipulated and controlled by fear and I'm sick and tired of that. That's probably the reason I never got out of religion, my fear is just too strong for me to do it. I dislike that, I wish I could transfer fear into love, I have never learned how to do that though. Will I always be like this? Will I always be a coward and just say "yessir" to everything? I don't want to anymore. I'm tired of being a puppet. I'm tired of having to prove I'm smart or capable or hardworking. I just want to have something with which I can say "I did this on my own, I committed to this, I wanted this" not "well it was good for me". I want to start following my heart and throw my brain out of the window. And now I'm scared of things like "what if I was wrong all along and he was right", "what if I don't find any jobs in this country because of this", "what if he throws me out of the house or starts abusing me". Well I don't know, but I feel like I want to commit to psychology, and I'm gonna do it, I'll be on my own, no ideals from other people, just me, and my wishes. But these words and all the things affect me a lot and they always have. And I get demotivated and stop caring about everything, which just makes my addiction to blasting music on my headphones and badly dancing even stronger. I'm scared of it happening again. But I've never been this sick of it all, I feel like I won't go down without a fight anymore. So I ask in the text once more, can I truly be broken beyond repair, or can I break all the chains tying me down? Because I want to know if I should just abandon all hope and embrace the tradition and insanity along with it, or just run and not look back.
If you have read all of this, I am very grateful to you, hopefully I have been collected enough to construct sentences that make sense, or that it all makes sense overall. Anything is appreciated. I love you all and wish you the best <3

Note I'm saying I solved it not cured it. I've only figured out the cause of this terrible condition about 2 weeks ago.
I've been dealing with this issue now for years. People would often make remarks about me or avoid me and it definitely isn't in my head as I can often hear people talking about me. Just like most of you I couldn't smell it myself and I've tried everything in the book to fix it.
Anyways, for some reason it seemed to improve an its own after I started gyming and eating healthier and the bullying and comments stopped. I was better it seemed for a good few months. I had almost forgotten I had this terrible condition for years. It's weird how we kind of just block out these things. Unfortunately about 3 weeks ago I noticed the comments again. I don't know what caused it but it was definitely back and it was bad. I could even subtly smell it myself this time. At this point I freaked out and cut out everything other than plain boiled chicken breast and rice. My idea was to do an elimination diet and these are apparently the safest foods. I was very wrong. The chicken breast and rice diet made things so much worse. The bad news was the embarrassment but the good news is that I finally know what is going on.
So here's what it is. It's flatulence. Yes farts that I could not feel or hear. I have a couple of theories as to why I could not feel them or have any control at all over them but I'll get to that later. The good news is I don't think there is anything structurally wrong. So here is how I figured it out. As things got worse and worse on the chicken and rice diet, I noticed a tingling feeling down there. Eventually it became a stream and it was obvious to me that gas was streaming out almost non stop. This is one of the reasons I do not think it is a structural issue. With such a large amount of gas, it essentially forces it's way out regardless of if your sphincter is working properly. I also noticed I wasn't pooing much anymore. There is definitely a link with constipation.
After a week on the diet, I stopped as the constitution was getting severe and I wasn't feeling well. I immediately went back to my old diet which consisted of things like bread, meat, bananas, Greek yogurt, protein powder etc (note that this is still better than the diet I used to eat years back when the condition initially started, at that time I ate a lot of fast food). I also increased my fiber intake and took magnesium to help with the constipation. Even after I started pooing normally I still had severe FBO for at least a week longer. At this point I realized that since rice makes things worse I should probably cut out grains. Right now I'm throwing everything I can at this. I have cut out grains and dairy and am taking a bunch of supplements including magnesium, vit d, vit b complex, probiotics, oregano oil and it currently feels like the FBO is getting less. Though I still haven't cured it, I hope this post helps someone else figure out what is going on. My guess is that it is SIBO which is creating such a large volume of gas that it forces it's way out. I have also struggled for years with acid reflux which I believe is also the result of gas forcing it's way out the oesophagus.
Good luck to anyone else dealing with this. I know how much it sucks.

What makes you cringe the most when you watch this show?
I'm not talking about dialogue (a lot of shows have that). I mean things IN the show, like the blood, drills, needles, fighting, etc.
My most hated things in the show, and what makes me physically turn away or wince/cringe, is in season 2 when theyre drilling into The 100 for their bone marrow AND when Clarke cuts her arm open again to get back into the hospital ward. Every single time I go through that season I dont like it. Story is fine, characters are fine (even tho Cage and Emerson bother tf outta me) but that stuff I listed? I could do without it.

The engines crackled to life, shaking the ground with a violent roar. Such a clanging didn't deter the boarding party, a procession of honor and dignity, as several ornately armoured marines boarded the craft, following them was robed figure of relatively miniature stature atleast when compared to the marines, the only one close being a neophyte, whose mind was racing with questions over why he was chosen for this mission. These questions would have to wait as he saw the ground move away from him, and his unknown quest had begun.
As they entered plantery orbit, the neophyte looked around the chamber. He noticed the hooded figure sat between the two most decorated officers, and clutched in his was something the neophyte found quite humorous, a flower. "Who brings a flower to a warzone" he chuckled, the first officer quickly stood in response, "Seize your tongue, you arrogant bast..." the hooded man raised his hand and waved the officer to sit before he could finish. "He doesn't know any better, cut him some slack" the second officer stated. "He will soon" the first capitan uttered ominously. The neophyte swallowed hard and ordered himself to refrain from further agitation.
As their approach and landing came ever closer, the neophyte observed a peculiar pattern, as every so often the vehicle would shake as though in a mighty storm and it always sounded like a horrid howl from the depths of hell, but that was not what was strange, instead after every bellow, the hooded man would strip a petal from the flower clutched in his hand. With each petal thrown to the wayside the closer a soft yet noticeable smile grew on the mans face, another worrying detail.
With a thundering cry, the ship came to its abrupt landing point. as the door slammed upon the ground a whirland of dust shot up, causing the nophyte to avert his gaze, and as he did another shout carried itself across the land. As he regained his vision he looked first to the hooded man, noticing that one sole petal remained. Then he looked through the wastes ahead of him where a monstrous figure filled the horizon beyond. The man walked into the desert when another frightful shout filled the neophyte with fear, in response he grasped his bolter with anticipation.
"Don't get yourself killed" the capitan said the man, now holding a barren blossom. The man smirked back at the marine, his face filled with the sense that he has heard that phrase several times before. "At ease, marine, he will handle this" the capitan said to the neophyte. The neophyte was perplexed, who was this fragile human, a simple man that could slay a beast such as that, his mind racing again with questions as the behemoth drew ever closer. his anxiety reached new heights when the man dropped to his knees, his arms outstretched as though he was awaiting something, or someone.
The abomination rushed towards the man, yet as it reached him, it stopped. "What is that thing?" the neophyte posed to the capitan aside him, "Do you not recognize our lady" the capitan quickly said in response. It made so much yet so little sense, could this truly be lady Furiosa, The Red Angel, and no it couldn't possibly be could it? was that man the one he heard so many stories about, the only anchor that kept his mother in reality, away from the ruinious powers, her chosen one, his father.
Here he was a mere mortal man standing between the galaxy's greatest threat, his own lover. As the Angel stopped her rampage, she lowered herself to match the man/s gaze. Her demonic form contracting and reverting back to its original human shape. When her eyes met the man's, she stated "My Rose?" a question grounding her in real space, and one that had been asked too many times. When he nodded, she reverted to tears, dropping to her own knees in disgust at her very own deeds, ones unconcisious, not her own, yet she blamed the destruction on herself. "I will always be here, forever and always" the shrouded man stated as he welcomed his lady's embrace, stroking her hair in reassurance, as she did not have to face this pain alone.
"I see" The neophyte noted as a line of tears slid down his right cheek. "This is our lord and lady" the capitan said in a shaken voice. "I swear by the Emperor's name, I shall fight in her stead" the neophyte stated proudly, clenching his bolter with a burning vengeance. The capitan hid a slight smirk, as he had gone through this story many times before, as that was why they were there, to retrieve their lady from her bloodlust, but also to reveal the horrors of the legion.
"That is why we fight" the capitan professed pointing to his lord and lady as they remained embraced walking slowly hand in hand, once again, towards the ship for the voyage home, until the time again the Emperor had need for his greatest instrument of violence, his own daughter.
For each barren bud, the Red Lady's Rose would blossom once more.
*In my headcanon, Furiosa's Rose is either a powerful pysker or blank with the distinct ability to nullify the effects of the Buthcer's Nail, but only while in contact with Furiosa, think of the X-men Leech, who has the ability to dampen or completely suppress, for an undetermined amount of time, the powers and abilities of any superpowered beings within 50 feet of him* - Comments are always open for any questions and overall feedback.

Umm hello, please don't judge me harshly, I'm seeking advice. I am aware I'm fucked up badly. I will not be using real names in this. My cousin (M22) and I (F20) have been through a lot together. From abusive parents to being SA'd by another relative of ours. If my parents were abusing me he'd step in and fight them off or take the punishment with me. Not long he started lashing out at everyone and he became a trouble maker so they shipped him off to a military boot camp, that was the moment I knew I loved him. It was when I thought I'd never see him again. When he left my family used me as their punching bag, mentally and sometimes physically. So without his uplifting words or his distractions I started to find different alternatives to cope with the adjustment of his departure and the cruel things that continued to happen to me. In the span he was gone I tried attempting to off myself 7 times before I just called it quits (because I gaslit myself into him getting out and thinking we would runaway together)and started cutting and burning myself instead. Needless to say when he got out he changed so much. He didn't smile, he didn't look at me, I ran up and hugged him and he didn't react at all. He picked up habits like smoking and drinking. His physical appearance changed. He was stronger, buffer, and he had a sharper jawline. The man was handsome. After a week of him being back home he didn't come to see me and he didn't allow me to see him. If he did he'd be around the cousin he knew hurt me sexually. If he saw me get hit or degraded he wouldn't do anything but stare at them while I stared at him. What hurt most is when my mother made us all go to church and the pastor called me out because I wrote suicide notes to each of them and I had a failed attempt to off myself through her diabetic medication but for some reason I lived again. I remember taking the whole bottle and still waking up the next morning by my mother yelling at me for being depressed and tired. Anyway she took us to church and the pastor read the letters out loud and I was forced to kneel in front of the entire church and beg for an apology. My cousin just stood there staring at me again. He didn't react until my rapist started laughing under his breath so he let out a laugh that didn't sound like his regular laugh. This day I never forgot, the embarrassment the humiliation I felt. So I decided to run away that same day but didn't make it far because I got caught by my cousin, he didn't tell anyone but he made sure to keep a close eye on me. Half my family decided to move to California including his immediate family but he decided to stay I still don't know why. Years later (today's time/2 weeks ago) he confesses to me he is in love with me and he has loved me since we were children. For some stupid reason I believed him because those were words I've wanted to hear all my life. Even from back then he changed, he no longer looked at me, he just laughs or join in with their criticisms or insults. But at least no one hits me now. I decided to give this relationship thing a try and it was great, he even started to stick up for me again a little but he doesn't want to get me in more trouble with us being related and in love with each other. Or so I thought. He has a high sex drive and I thought it was normal because he is a guy and according to my mother men in this family does. The first time we had sex together he was rough, he didn't listen to my request or if I yelled at how painful it was, and I didn't even want to finish due to how much pain he left me in. I'm pretty sure it's my fault because I believed his lies still hold on to who he was before he was forced to leave all those years ago. He also didn't use a condom when I asked him to bring them. We got in a argument after and he said something that I don't believe he would ever do. The argument was because my guy friend from college texted me hey (despite me finding over 5 women in his phone) and I never answered him back because I know this guy friend wanted more than to be friends. So after he threw my clothes at me, called me a whore despite him being my first, and stormed out of my room I followed him to clear up what was going on. The words stung but I brushed them off. He was sitting in the living room and I sat beside him trying to get my point across until he said "We are fucking related, its not like we are in a real relationship anyway." That shut me up completely. My heart hurt and I cried on the spot. So I yelled at him for the first time (I said: What do you call this then, this was your first and last time with me you will never have access to me or my heart again) and he got madder. I have never seen him move so fast it was scary. He got on top of me and pinned my hands above my head and slapped me. The look in his eyes terrified me he said I belonged to him and he didn't need my permission to have his way with me. After he said that he kissed me roughly when I didn't respond to his kiss he bit my lip hard and I screamed in pain while he inserted his tongue in my mouth. The only reason he left me alone was because my phone started ringing and it was my mother who was calling to see if I cleaned her house, after I hung up the phone he started crying and begging for me to forgive him. I did. He still reminds me of who he was until he went to that boot camp. I still see it in him. Now its been a week since this happened and he has went back to his old ways of a high sex drive. He still doesn't like wearing condoms so he doesn't. He doesn't pull out though I tell him to and sex is still painful for me. After sex today he told me that I wanted it. He wanted me to have a baby for him, he wanted to trap me with him. I don't understand. I feel disgusted, used, and heart broken. I watched him get dressed and walk out the door with a smile on his face. I'm afraid if I resist his advances he'll take it without my consent and I'd see him just like every other abuser in my family. I'd rather it this way then seeing him as an evil person. I don't want to see him differently he's the only one I have. Is there any advice you can help me with? I'm almost done with my degree and it's not even in a career I want this is my mothers dream job. But I'm going to use it because I worked for it. At the moment I have no job and I don't think going to the police would help anything. What should I do here?

I met you and at an instant, I knew you were different.
I longed to recall this familiarity, I knew you before this reality.
After you hugged me so intensly, I knew I loved your immensely.
I searched to understand my feelings, intense like our energies bouncing off the ceilings.
You gave me a hug that changed my life, a bond realized so thick, it couldn't be cut with a knife.
I needed to understand what it all was, wanted to explore what it all does.
We continued on, but became more distant, but you were always there every instant.
My love increased for you so much, I was so embolden by your touch.
It grew stronger and stronger, as we felt the pull, it kept us anything but dull.
Without even knowing you, I knew I was in love, I wanted to give you everything and above.
I always knew a lot more than I would say, I never wanted to scare you away.
I worried about boundaries that shouldn't be broken, so I tip-toed around the token.
Intensity increased so much, I knew I would fold under your touch.
No matter what, I loved you, for you, and it enough that it was overdue
Ups and downs, we went through a lot, we got to the cusp of giving it a shot.
Then chaos flipped it for us, which I found a little sus.
So many people trying to intervene, what did it mean?
You stopped your replies, I sit here crying as my soul dies.
Not knowing what really happened, I am sure I am to blame on the back end.
However we both have fault in this, we both knew it was going to take time before bliss.
You questioned my goals, when all it was for us to connect our souls.
I didn't worry about the little things, I didn't really worry about if it had strings.
My joy was to bear it with you, if you only knew how much love I have for you.
I wasn't worried about attachments or labels, I just wanted to spend time with you like the fables.
Whether we became friends or eventually lovers, I wanted to be with you, even under the covers.
My intentions were always truthful, but I was guarded because you were so youthful.
I will always love you so much, I would never be able to view anyone else as such.
I am completely out of tears, because somehow I managed to produce my worst fears.
I wish you would talk to me and clear any misinformation, we both know there is some miscommunication.
I hope you can forgive whatever I have done, having you in my life has been so much fun.
I see posts all over the place, some sound so much like us, but its always a different face.
I gave up on the post, because you can text back like we boast.
If you decide to part ways, know I will always love you until the end of days.
I want you to keep my heart and key, because I will no longer need them for me.
Things are going to change in place, I am dropping my social circles at record pace.
Alone is better if not with you, so I will just adapt to make do.
I have so much love for you, I will continue to preach it until I am blue.
I would always love to see it where it goes, but day by day, because nobody knows.
I never wanted to rush, we could have just relaxed in the brush.
I was always honest and loyal, I am not sure why you thought it was going to foil.
I wanted every part of you because of your soul, no manipulation for any part of the whole.
It was all 100% you and with all your flaws, I have them too so let's not pause.
I love you for you, but never got the chance, you have taken up this defensive stance.
I am sorry for what ever it is, but we need to communicate before it turns to fizz.
I would love to spend the rest of our lives together, watching sunset in fields of heather.
I love you more than any thing, I was willing to sacrifice a lot to make us sing.
True love is so rare, lets not waste this connection we share.
No one will ever be you, so what do we do?

Howdy gang,
Before I ask my question, if you haven’t played thru the 2nd arc of the game and gotten to the 3rd, aka if you haven’t dealt w the big bad villains of the game/big plot twist, DO NOT GO FURTHER. I can’t block out spoilers, so this is your last warning before you really run the risk of getting spoiled. Go play then feel free to come back lol
Anyways… I’m currently working on my third play through and I was revisiting some of Matilda’s character motivations. I wanted to hear yalls opinions bc I’m a little confused on what she may really think. I’m a lil fuzzy on the details just bc it’s been a min since I’ve gone thru the dialogue of her big reveal, but from what I’ve always gotten is that she os from Duvos and is loyal to Duvos bc not only is she from there but she’s tryna make a better life for her kids. I guess what’s getting me atm is that she also seems to have some kinda genuine concern for the ppl of Sandrock, which is totally plausible and would make sense considering how she’s been there for some time and has built connections. She can still be loyal to Duvos and care about Sandrock, that’s all well and good
But I guess I’d like to get more understanding on why she seems to genuinely go out of her way to help Sandrock despite letting things get worse would work better for her plan. For example, I’m wrapping up the construction of the Shonash Bridge and Matilda rallies everyone together to rebuild the bridge. Wouldn’t it just be better to let the bridge stay collapsed or to try and subtly sabotage its reconstruction to more quickly destroy Sandrock? Or maybe there are some smaller details I’ve missed?
Aside from that, I’ve also noticed how manipulative she can be or how using friendly relationships w townsfolk would be to her advantage. I’d also be interested in hearing what y’all noticed about that too
So what are your thoughts on that particular bridge incident and her overall character? How do you interpret her actions? I love dissecting characters and discussing motivations, especially when they’re not terribly cut-and-dry, so feel free to write a lot of you need to lol

Hey Guys, I made a video on Katsuyu and hope you guys could give it a watch to probably shed some light on Katsuyu as she is severely underestimated and downplayed to the point that she gets ruled out from versus battles even though she can always do something because she is so versatile! This is just a discussion about things Katsuyu can do and we can discussion anything else that she's capable of doing - I'm working on a slug sage mode video next
You can give the video a watch here as I went into more detail here - I tried to support my points with video evidence as best as I could but I couldn't find footage for everything - https://youtu.be/h6baI67D5A8
​
Facts About Katsuyu

• Katsuyu is one gigantic slug that resides in the shikkotsu forest also known as the damp bone forest which is just as legendary as mt Myoboku for toads and the Ryuchi cave for snakes.
• Katsuyu is completely immune to any sort of physical attacks, regardless of how strong the attack is. She is immune to stabs, slashes anything sharp or that pierces due to her genetic makeup.
• Katsuyu has elemental resistance to all of the elements including fire/heat, light/dark, water, wind, earth, lightning/electricity – She survived naruto’s burning/corrosive chakra back in pain arc all the way up to almost 9 tails transformation. She stated that she can survive being cut at light speed with no problems. So if Tsunade summoned katsuyu to fight against madara’s perfect Susanoo, she’d just tank his fireball style attacks just fine or put it out with her acid. She would also negate madara’s sword slashes as swords can’t hurt her.
• Katsuyu is directly linked to the 100 healing mark/byakugou seal. Since the seal existed since the era of the sage of the six paths according to the boruto manga, this means katsuyu was around since the beginning of the Naruto verse.
• In order to summon katsuyu, the byakugou seal is a direct requirement to summon her as she herself said she is directly linked to the seal and scales proportionally to the condition of the seal. Which is why Shizune, despite being under Tsunade’s tutelage for so longis unable to summon her. Ino could also be used as an example as she was also student under Tsunade and could not summon Katsuyu. Another great example is Kabuto, he looks up to Tsunade so much due what she has done for the medical field, chose to form a pact with the snakes instead as the byakugou seal is not an easy feat to require.
• Katsuyu’s summoning time does not seem to have a limit as katsuyu can stay out as long as the summoner wants until katsuyu is no longer needed.
• Whenever katsuyu is summoned, its only just a small segment of katsuyu that is summoned. The largest size of her we have seen is just 10% of her and that took the combined effort of tsunade and kyuubi chakra amped sakura simultaneously summoning her with the byakugou seal’s chakra. 10% of her was able to fill the space between the roots of the god tree and she was towering over mountain ranges, avatar mode Naruto and Susanoo sasuke. She’s so large that we can only imagine how large she is.
• Katsuyu shares an unbreakable telepathic link to the byakugou seal no matter the distance as she can still communicate with the user regardless of how far is she. So, she could be in a whole other dimension or universe and still be able to communicate instantly.
• Katsuyu can split apart into millions of different clones of herself that can function independently and as a whole simultaneously, have shared vision, instantaneous communication regardless of the distance, can always regroup if needed, she can also communicate with another katsuyu that was summoned by a different summoner and still has access to all these traits. i.e. Tsunade summoned katsuyu to heal kage and sakura summoned katsuyu to heal the alliance
• Katsuyu’s acid is one of the most damaging attacks in the verse as it vaporizes stone upon immediate contact something that amateratsu cannot do but overtime it can. Katsuyu’s acid is a wide spread acidic attack that covers a wide range that’s really hard to dodge due to how much range it covers and how fast she spews it out. Her acid is natural/sage energy thus it cannot be absorbed, sealed or nullified by any means. Even orochimaru said it could one shot him just to testify how effective it is (Manda was able to dodge due to his size and because he is aware of katsuyu’s abilities as they have been on the battlefield with each other a lot so he was on guard. Katsuyu can also spew an almost unlimited amount of acid without any wind up. Amateratsu was not able to damage Jigen/Kaguya as they tanked it without any damage and just absorbed it but had Katsuyu's acid hit them, they'd be in a world of hurt as we know that senjutsu is one of the few ways you can hurt otsutsukis.
• Katsuyu is an excellent sensor she’s able to sense minute changes in chakra she sensed Naruto’s control over the kyuubi chakra and also was able to sense that kurama’s chakra merely shrunk when she healed everyone in the war arc.
• Katsuyu can be summoned at any size the summoner wants and can then be summoned in the full boss size summon if needed. Eg, Pebble size, stone size, large rock, boulder size human size, boss summon size…. You get the idea.
• Katsuyu can liquefy herself into bodily fluids and become a wide spread healing area where persons can recover by simply standing on her. This liquification technique could be how Tsunade used katsuyu’s body as a catalyst to create antidote on the battlefield for chioy’s poisons almost immediately. After making the antidote, I’m assuming she would then reform and then split into her mini sized human clones and disperse the antidotes throughout the battlefield to her allies.
• Seeing that katsuyu can liquefy herself, she can take the shape of anything as she can be molded into it. For example, a chair, a bat, or a really comfy bed to sleep on like she isn’t soft and cute as she is already.
• Katsuyu is able to absorb persons or things directly into her body (kind of like a white blood cell attacking bacteria/germs) to protect them from dmg, suffocate foes, trap foes inside her, restrict movement, she can become a cage for their body by encasing herself around someone or something. She can also become a body amour for her summoner just the same by encasing them with her body.
• The byakugou user is able to share their chakra, medical ninjutsu, offensive medical ninjutsu and possibly attacks like chakra enhanced strikes through katsuyu thanks to the connection to the byakugou seal.
• There are only two current users who are able to summon Katsuyu and they are Sakura and Tsunade. Tsunade’s grandmother, Mito Uzumaki, seemed to have a byakugou seal /100 healing mark as she had a mark similar to Tsunade and Sakura. It is safe to assume that she could summon katsuyu as well. Its possible that she had the most chakra in the Naruto verse outside of otsutsuki’s as she had the byakugou seal, full kurama and being a full blooded Uzumaki. It becomes more apparent that she had the byakugou seal as the seal itself is a sealing technique and the Uzumaki were infamously known and feared for their sealing jutsus.
• Katsuyu despite being a slug, is actually quite fast. She was able to scale the leaf village within seconds after tsunade’s order and protect allies last second from attacks.
• Even though the legendary summons are supposed to depict rock, paper scissors (slug, snake, toad/frog) katsuyu cheats the system by being all three at once and can interchange between them at will, that’s just how versatile she is. She can switch among offense, defense and support immediately – She can spew her acid, crush foes, absorb foes, tank attacks, provide widespread and instant communication and heal all at the same time.
• Katsuyu’s personality is very respectful, subservient, loyal, obedient, friendly, serious, understanding and playful as shown throughout the many times she makes an appearance. (You can watch Naruto episode 161 for a cute and funny episode with her)
• Katsuyu is able to break her summoner or allies outside of genjutsu due to the perfect connection between the byakugou seal and herself that cannot be broken. Katsuyu is resistant to genjutsu as slugs don’t see like we do, nor do they have ears to hear like we do. Additionally, thanks to the byakugou seal’s connection both the summoner and the katsuyu always have a perfect flow of chakra that links them together regardless of the distance so if they should be in a genjutsu they can easily break each other out – Likewise the same with katsuyu whenever she splits up, if one clone somehow gets caught in a genjutsu the others can easily break them out of it.
• Katsuyu seems to be only be killable by chakra drain as she has never been shown to get hurt or “die” to anything else. Particle style is very plausible because if katsuyu can survive being shredded at light speed, which in should atomize her and we know katsuyu can survive in the smallest of forms. She could also just mold her body around the shape of whatever shape the particle style takes.
• Katsuyu is able to cause earthquakes due to her large size by just simply “sneezing” or by just simply moving around, crush foes, have human sized clones fall from great heights to squash people etc
• Katsuyu’s body is able to function as a selectively permeable membrane in a sense that she can block whatever she doesn’t want to come into her body and allow whatever she wants to come in. I.e when healing the five kage, she engulfed them into her body to protect and heal them while still allowing air supply.
• Katsuyu maybe the only great sage that can work with other sage energy without disrupting their control over their respective sage energy. She assisted Naruto in sage mode while she’s directly touching him despite her being able to draw in sage energy as well without disrupting Naruto’s.

Fletch gently pushed open the large and lavishly decorated bronze doors of the university administration building and ambled out into the portico. He set his cup of coffee down on the pedestal of a granite pillar and pulled his cigarette case from the breast pocket of his tan trench coat. The old chief inspector plucked a cigarette from the ornately engraved case with slender fingers and wondered why the Kael let him come at all.
Something felt very off with the whole thing. The more he thought about it, the more he questioned the story he got. Mike Anderson was certainly depressed, but as far as Fletch could tell, he had not displayed any suicidal behavior. And why now? Fletch thought. Things were on the upswing for the kid. His grades were excellent, his family situation was good, and he was out of the house more this term than the last. Fletch scratched his mustache. Why would the seals hide the autopsy and the gun? He brought the cigarette to his lips, snapped the filigreed case shut, and slipped it back into the breast pocket of his coat. Fletch flicked open his lighter and sighed as he lit his cigarette. Murder.
It was a hopeless case. These days, warrants were approved by the seals, and even if they weren't, he doubted that he could get one anyway. His suspicion of foul play was backed by nothing but his instinct.
Fletch watched students hustle and bustle through the plaza in front of him as he puffed away at his cigarette and pondered his theory.
But why kill him now? They could have done it in complete secrecy while he was a POW. And it couldn’t be to keep what happened in Philadelphia under wraps. His death brings more attention to it. And he wasn’t a rebel. So why? Fletch sipped at his coffee as he flicked ash from his cigarette. Vengeance? Did he kill some noble brat during the war?
Fletch scratched at his grey mustache and glanced at his watch. I’ll have to follow that thread. He tossed his half-smoked cigarette into a puddle as he briskly walked down the steps and through the university plaza.
The withered investigator was deep in thought when he entered the parking lot. What do I tell that Enrique chap? He unlocked his car and crawled in. I certainly can’t tell him that his mate’s been clipped with no evidence. Fletch turned the key, and the engine of his little Volvo sputtered to life. It’s no bleeding use. I’ll just tell the lad they weren’t interested in sharing and keep my suspicions to myself.
As he reached for the shifter, Fletch noticed a delightfully thick manilla envelope stuck in the gap between the center console and the passenger seat.
He pulled the envelope from the crack. Gingerly, he opened it and pulled out a small note. It read We’re even now, prick.
Fletch smiled and couldn’t help but mutter, “The game is afoot,” as he flicked through the stack of documents inside.
Isabella poked her head into the large office and saw Professor Dret’la with a ball of dark green yarn on her lap and bone darning needles beset with carvings in her hands.
Isabella was struck with confusion. What? She crochets!?
The professor looked up from her labor, spotted the confused girl outside her door, and called, “Come in.”
Isabella walked into the office and took a seat. She gestured to the yarn in the professor's hands. “What are you making?”
The professor smiled as motherly as one could with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. “It will be a hat for my son. He just received his commission as a junior biologist, so he has to rummage around in freezers to get samples for his whole research team.”
Isabella blinked. This was not characteristic at all for the quick-tempered professor with a penchant for launching chalk across lecture halls at the mildest provocation.
Isabella shook off her shocked expression and gave the tall professor a dimpled cheek smile. “That’s so sweet! I’m sure he’ll love it. One of the best gifts I’ve ever received was a thick wool sweater from my mamma during a training exercise off the coast of Norway.”
The professor, still smiling, sat up straight. “I hope that’s the kind of reception I get.”
The professor’s demeanor hardened as she stowed the yarn and needles in the desk drawer. “Now, let's get down to business.”
Isabella gulped.
“To start, congratulations. You’ve passed our testing and been selected for officer training.”
Isabella asked, “Who else was selected?”
“There are nine others: Robert Rhodes, Elena Pavel, Hal Jellico, Zheng Li, Brooke Halsey, Colow Aden, Magnus Tordenskjold, Bill Lee, and Kazuya Yamamoto.”
Isabella didn’t recognize all the names.
“Should you choose to accept, you will be taking a prep course taught by Colonel Ocidea and I starting next week and lasting all through the summer. If we deem you ready, you’ll ship out for basic training and then off to the Royal Military Academy, where you can earn your commission.” Dr. Dret’la leaned in close to Isabella. “Do you accept?”
Without hesitation, Isabella answered, “Yes.”
“Mike, come over here. You’re going to want to see this.” Calty voiced from her seat in the front of the cockpit.
Mike rolled off the couch and walked into the front of the cockpit as the captain shouted, “Decelerate!” Mike couldn’t help but grab onto the back of Calty’s seat as the FTL drive kicked into gear. The cockpit glass dimmed just before blindingly bright blue jets of fire from the front-facing engines came into view. A bright green circle flickered onto the glass surrounding a marble-sized dot darker than the rest of the now dim screen. The dots and circles expanded at an extreme pace until they took up most of the display. Another dot appeared—minuscule compared to the other—surrounded by a red circle. The growth of the shadowy dots and the circles around them slowed and then stopped entirely as the engines sputtered out.
The HUD faded out of view, and the tint of the glass slowly lightened, revealing a vast planet embraced by blue-green ice with a colossal foundry in its orbit. The planet, a gas giant called Drassus, was orbited by four rings. One was made of containers, and the other three were made up of loose ore gleaming in the nearby star's light. Exhaust chimneys spewing gas and fire sprouted from the otherwise spherical foundry, giving it a sea urchin-like profile, which, together with the weave of pipes bringing fuel from beneath the icy surface of the planet below, made the foundry resemble an old naval mine.
The captain strode up to the front of the cockpit. “One-third ahead and steer 14 degrees left. We’re unloading in bay three.”
Six mech suits and a tug exited a plasma-shielded hanger as the ship came to a halt. The mechs glided to the front of the ship and started dismounting the external cargo bay from the Broken Fin while the tug hitched onto the opposite end of the ten-kilometer-long rack of containers.
A little while later, the tug pulled away with the load of containers, and the comm system blared to life. “Broken Fin, you are cleared to leave. The UO corporation thanks you for your business.”
The captain replied, “Our pleasure. Broken fin out.” as the ship pulled out of the loading bay.
He turned to the navigation officer and said, “Lock in coordinates for jump to Kael Prime.”
The captain went to the central control board and pulled up traffic control. “Tower 1, this is the Broken Fin. We request a jump slot to Kael Prime from Drassus.”
“Broken Fin, request granted. Your departure slot is at 16:33.”
Mike glanced at the top right of the ship's HUD and looked at the time. 16:21.
Better get my stuff together…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The ship shuddered ever so slightly despite the inertial dampeners as it exited FTL. Mike was lounging on the couch with his bag at his feet. He was ready to get off this tub.
Mike idly watched flames lick at the cockpit window as the ship descended into the atmosphere of Kael Prime. He looked at Dreki, who was sitting on the other couch. His muscles bulged through his clothes despite wearing a white sweater so large it could be mistaken for the sail of an average-sized boat. Mike asked, “Do you know anything about what’ll happen to me now?”
The big Kael shifted in his seat. “Technically, I’m not supposed to tell you anything, but what the hell.” Dreki pulled the collar of his sweater down, revealing an angry white number burnt into his iron-gray skin just below the collarbone. “First, you’ll get branded.” He released his shirt and pointed to a small scar on the side of his head. “Then you’ll get an AR implant.”
“Where will I be getting that?” Mike asked.
“The Imperial Science Academy. We’re going to be staying there for a few days. They’ll run a bunch of tests and get you fitted for equipment there. After that, I’ll drop you off at the spaceport, and you’ll be off to Tlaxcalssus for basic training. After that, I don’t know.”
“Thanks.”
The ship shook as it touched down on the landing pad. “Time to go.” Dreki shouldered his pack and walked out the door. Mike fiddled with the straps of his bag as he followed Dreki down the ramp and to the far side of the ship, away from the rest of the passengers. Mike's nose was immediately assaulted with the acrid smell of sulfur from where the fiery exhausts of engines had melted asphalt. The spaceport was swarming with vehicles and filled with the constant roar of ship engines and a symphony of smaller equipment. Power loaders and mechs loaded and unloaded heavy cargo, shuttles bustled to and fro with passengers, baggage carriers snaked through the crowded landing pads, and vehicles that looked like floating garage doors zipped through the air at ankle height, bringing pilots and crew to their ships. Mike couldn’t help but chuckle a little at the absurdity of it all. Here he was, in the heartland of the enemy, walking through what was essentially a ten-acre parking lot.
Dreki plopped his bags on the ground and yawned as he stretched his arms over his head. “Our skiff will be here in a minute.”
Mike tuned out the beeps and whirrs of the tank-sized forklifts and mechs unloading the ship and gazed out beyond at the horizon. You’re not in Kansas anymore, bub. Mike thought as he studied the skyline of the imperial city basked in the glow of the early evening sun. Some of the buildings wouldn’t look all that out of place on Earth, but the skyline was assaulted with abominations that pissed on the laws of physics as Man understood them. Tusk-shaped skyscrapers defied gravity with their seemingly unsupported curves, and even more absurd were pyramids stacked atop another point-to-point like hourglasses. Any delusion of normalcy that Mike could come up with was shattered.
Dreki picked up his bag and pointed to a slab of black marble speeding towards them at ankle height. “Here’s our skiff.” A railing popped out of the center as the skiff came to a gliding halt. Dreki boarded the skiff and took hold of the rail, and Mike followed suit.
They sped through the spaceport and stopped outside what looked to Mike like a train station. Dreki shouldered his bag and stepped off the skiff. Mike stepped off and quickly fell in pace with Dreki. The big Kael led Mike into a grand station bustling with people. Most were Kael, but there was a smattering of other species. Some stared at Mike, others glanced, but most completely ignored him as he followed Dreki through the hall and onto a platform. Unfamiliar aliens clearly weren’t an uncommon sight here.
The walls of the station were covered with mosaics depicting Kael warriors from the distant past. Dreki noted the human's curiosity and said, “The founders of the clans.” He leveled a massive hand toward an opulent, towering mosaic of a Kael warrior wielding a bronze falx. The imposing figure's body was made of blue gemstones, the eyes rubies, one tusk silver, and the other gold. “That’s the founder of my clan, Drekalla Gold Tusk.”
Mike asked, “How’d he manage that?” As he followed Dreki into a mostly empty train car.
Dreki plopped down on a bench. “He was the war priest of Hroptaug the Conqueror during the unification wars. After the wars were won, Hroptaug granted us the Steam Hills.” Dreki pointed through the train window at the mosaic of another warrior whose body was made of milky white pearls. “That one,” He paused and spat on the floor, “Tiblan the Terror, challenged Drekalla to a duel for most of that land. Drekalla was cutting him to pieces, but the craven poisoned his blade. Just before Drekalla could deliver the final blow, the poison reached his heart, and Drekalla died. The only wound on his body was a cut across his forearm that barely drew blood.” Dreki rolled up his sleeve, showing a scar that reached from his elbow to the middle of his forearm. “Every K’alla is cut the same way to remind us of the blood feud.”
Mike inwardly sighed. Kael and their damned feuds… “How long ago was this.”
“Seven thousand four hundred and fifty-one years ago.”
Mike held back a snort. The absurdity of it all. The first human law codes came about to stop blood feuds, and out here, they have feuds that have lasted longer than Earth's recorded history.
“How’s that feud been going as of late?”
Dreki’s face sagged, “Not good.”
They both grew quiet. Mike shuffled uncomfortably.
Mike glanced at the route display and broke the silence, “What's with the middle city, inner city thing?”
Dreki relaxed slightly. “Oh, so the city used to be a fortification. The inner city is actually a volcanic island. The middle is built over the river, and the outer city was built on the banks.”
“I see.”
The doors closed, and the intercom sounded, “Next stop, the inner city.”
Dale Robert’s wrinkled face was unreadable, and his highly decorated black and blue dress uniform immaculate as he led a horse through the street. He felt the eyes of thousands of onlookers on him, and he hated it. The pure black horse had a black leather saddle on its back. Two tall, glossy black boots were placed backward in silver stirrups, and the elaborate hilt of Mike’s basket-hilted broadsword jutted from the top of a black leather scabbard buckled to the saddle. Roberts followed the horse-drawn caisson bearing the flag-draped coffin of his old commanding officer. Not much farther now, he thought. The sounds of the cartwheels rolling and the horse’s tack jangling were wholly drowned out by boots stamping the ground in unison. Almost all of the 1800 survivors of the 801st regiment were there, resplendent in their dress uniforms, marching behind Mike one more time. The local police and fire departments joined them.
Roberts was unsure about it all. He felt that the poor kid's family would have preferred a smaller service back home in Colorado instead of this damn near royal procession. And Roberts was damn sure that the seals did not give their permission for this, no matter what the police chief said.
A reporter ducked through the police barricade and tried to ask the marching soldiers questions, but they remained stone-faced as the procession marched nearer to the gates of Philadelphia National Cemetery. Roberts handed the reigns of the riderless horse to another man in uniform and joined seven other members of Charlie platoon in pulling the casket from the cassion. They silently began their march to the grave, closely followed by General McCarthy, the man who was Joint Chief of Staff, and the color guard. Bagpipers began to blare, “Going Home.” Roberts heard the sound of gravpulse engines and looked up in dismay as a Kael gunship broke through the low clouds and descended to just barely above the cemetery. A loudspeaker blared, “Disperse at once.”

Back after 8 months. Some thoughts as a PS5 player.

1. It's reaches levels to know where you're at. I dropped off kind of pre Rennala in an NG+ (I know only because I left a note in an Obsidian file). I get and agree why the game and the genre has the lore doctrine it has, but obscurity by design fights against just picking things up again. I feel like this is why online discussion and support is a core part of playing and understanding the game meaningfully. I believe there are folks who really do figure things out by axiom, whether its completion paths, combinations, stacks, buffs, scaling, builds, hidden areas, while believing it's not a game philosophy that works without an internet, and to be frank without the highly centralised iteration of the internet we have today. I think we should encourage players to look at guides from the get over just do it yourself alone. In much the same sense we don't tend to recommend people experience a country or a city without a bit of groundwork.
2. It's a beautiful, beautful game. Even more than I remember or appreciated. I don't just mean the art style or that ray tracing was added. It's things like level of detail, extreme use of color, particle effects, and especially, high contrast. It's all very painterly, but brush brave and stroke precise in a Sargent/Rubens/ElGreco sense, or in the sense of how great mini painters emulate insane realism in 25mm. Some main things I don't love are the washed out distance fog. I get it, but it creates a flatness than undermines (imo) one of the most beautiful, awesome, worlds ever designed in video games.
3. Menus could make it an even more beautiful game. I'm left wondering the extent FromSoftware understand what some of us are doing when we play this game and spending time in the world. Me? I'm spending a lot of time in menu and using the hud constantly. The tea drenched sepia smol boxes does little good here. I would love for the menus and hud part to get the same level of game attention as core mechanics. I feel like this is the more important criticism than saying menus are spreadsheety. Ans seriously, things are just too small. The items I'm looking at have beautiful, intricate designs, with such lore. They deserve more visual real estate and even animation (why not play the gesture or provide a show action when you select it?). I also feel like item cycling lacks slickness compared to main combat, but both matter in fights. Subjectively, I tend to get killed when trying to pick the right flask more than timing a roll. And so I think menu is underserved as part of combat.
4. Sound design is out there. I hadn't realised the extent Elden Ring imprinted its sound on me, especially combat effects and character actions. This is Nintendo / 80s Arcade levels of imprint. I would say also the audio helped me attune to combat that much faster: the game sound literally tells you if you're playing and timing well. The VAs, to be clear, are excellent imo, and I wish we knew more about them and celebrated them more as actors the way other games are doing (I'm there for the Ramon Tikaram as Godrick podcast), but the direction and writing is missing—something—somehow trapped in the era that Demon Souls was made. That said, I just did come back from months of BG3, which is the high bar here.
5. Physicality. I think the audio effects can't be underestimated to help lend weight, but when you try and swing that blasphemous/gargoyle two hander thing you have going on, you really do feel their heft, whereas when I was a moonveil spammer on my first run, it was whip fast. While being a tad critical of how the game hides its mechanics, they do matter, impressively so, in the sense of gameplay. That glove vs that glove can be night and day. And what makes this amazing is how those choices really affect your overall game approach. It's so meaningful and it feels like you're playing a different game each time. And that leads me to—
6. —Length. I'm torn. On the one hand, in the last decade,I'm playing and loving games that lean to longer play throughs (AC:O/A, HFW, BG3, Elden Ring, RDR, Rogue Trader, at a push TLOU2). On the other hand, Dungeons, Field bosses, etc, start to get repetitive and even gimmicky (oh, this rune bear also has shout, ok then). I wonder if there's an Elden Ring that cuts the game to a half or even a third such that I could play through more times. BG3, the game I'm coming off, to be clear, has the same problem, even worse, but also the same potential. I feel your build choices make the game spectacularly different, not just minimaxing on a load out. Playing as a mage over a knight over a samurai means playing a different game. This evening for example, I ended up by accident beside a crayfish in Liurnia. I had to fight, freaking out, but because of the current build a toe to fight was a reasonable thing to do. The freak out was they were so formidable in other playthroughs—because of the builds. So I'm left wondering, would a shorter game I complete more times be 'better' than a longer game I complete fewer times?

So: yeah, I'm thinking I'm back. One of the greatest games ever made.

After seeking an x-ray to determine the cause of severe and ongoing knee pain (despite usually having a high pain tolerance), I [29F] was diagnosed with Osgood Schlatter Disease as an adult in 2021. While I do have a large bump below my knee (now), I don’t remember any OSD indicators as a teen.
The doctor told me the only solution was RICE and Tylenol. It’s 2.5 years later, and rest and ice isn’t helping.
I pushed for an MRI because my knee hurts when I’m sitting, driving, standing… basically all the time — and getting worse. I also have a family history of arthritis, started to have pain in the back and sides of my knee as well, and am always tired, so those were concerns.
Recent MRI results (that I just received) said:
“5 millimeter lesion is noted within the subchondral region of the lateral femoral condyle showing low T1 and T2 signal most likely in keeping with bony island.
There is heterogeneous, thickened appearance of the distal patellar tendon at close proximity to its tibial attachment. Multiple large foci of ossifications are noted likely in keeping with chronic changes.”
Resulting in the new diagnosis of: chronic patellar tendinitis
Question 1: lesion? bony island? Why didn’t the doctor mention this. Could it not be something serious they’re overlooking and dismissing/misdiagnosing (e.g. osteosarcoma?)
Question 2: if there are “multiple large foci of ossifications”, isn’t that something that would require surgery to fix? Don’t really want to have my leg cut open, but I also don’t feel like taking Tylenol to mask my pain for the rest of my life is super healthy…
Question 3: is there much hope in doing physio with all things considered?
Thank you in advance.

Spoilers for TMP including episode 16, as well as TMA.
So a few days ago I made a post on here saying it seemed to me that the drowning victim was intoning in the same way we see Jon do in season 5 of the magnus archives. While that's still a possibility, I have more thoughts about this character and her potential role in the story.
While I haven't had nearly as many problems as other people with the audio balancing for the show so far, episode 15 was the first one that I struggled with, especially at the end with the victim in the alleyway. So I decided to look through the transcript and see what she was actually saying. And I have to say it's a damn shame it's not easier to hear because the writing in this section is incredible. Absolutely love it. I've read through it several times now just because I love how it is written.
But it also made me realize, I think it's possible Alice was witnessing the birth of an Avatar, one that belongs to "The Depths" which seems to be a new entity (that I'd argue is a fusion of The Vast and The Buried, but that's not what this post is about). So let me go through and explain why I now think this:
The poem or statement or whatever you want to call it can be neatly divided into two sections, one before the victim "dies" and the other after Alice tries to resuscitate her and she starts speaking again.
Let's start with the pre-death section.

– The second time is up. I try to grasp the air and fill my lungs that burn and rattle full. I can’t. There’s so much air, but none inside as I go down. Again the cold surrounds and drags me down, the blue, the black, the weight of all the sodden fates awaiting me below the line – of sea and sky… I kick, I lunge, I flail, towards the brightened blue and break the third and final time. I know I’m spent. There is no more within me save the salt-spun death that reaches down my throat – and spasms in my chest, that cannot breathe inside me – coughs and sputters and tries to push it out – but more comes in – and down I go the third and final time – I know it’s done. –I’m done. The water is… is… dark

Fairly cut and dry as far as interpretation goes (pardon the pun). She's describing what I now think is likely her own experience drowning in an ocean somewhere. One important thing to note is that she comes up to the surface three times, drowning after the third attempt for air. We'll come back to that. It is in the description of going under for the third time that she seemingly dies, and Alice attempts to do CPR. But things get more interesting when we look at the second half.

–Deeper… Deeper… Down among the dead and swollen flesh so pale within this lightless place where – eyes are open cloudy white. And all the water pushes down upon a lifeless form – that sinks and sinks down to the bottom… that is not there. No sandy grave below the swell, no rest among the coral and the depths I feared… so much. But reached up and over land. To claim me still.

Seems to me she is describing her descent to the bottom of the ocean but instead something supernatural happens and she ends up coming back to the surface. But the depths still claim her and we're seeing how that effects her in this scene. Interesting to note she says "I feared" The beginning of her use of past tense while everything else is present tense. To me it suggests she no longer fears the depths, at least not in the way she used to. This tracks with how Avatars relate to their fears, they often start off afraid but it ends up twisting into a different kind of experience -- usually simultaneously afraid and drawn to their given "patron".
Then there is "to claim me still." This could be that she's still claimed as a victim, and we have seen the fears chase after victims who get away, notably Michael bringing Helen back into his halls after her initial escape. Unlike Helen though, it seems like she was completely at the mercy of the depths, and did nothing on her own to escape.
She also died, or nearly died, which seems to be an integral part of the "fully becoming an avatar" process. See: Mike Crew, Jonathan Simms, Jude Perry, Oliver Banks, Jane Prentiss.
Now in episode 16 we learn that when Alice came back she was just a dead body again, but remember the woman broke through the water three times, so I wonder if maybe she'll have to "die" and come back three times before finalizing her transformation.
I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into things, but she seemed way too interesting and important to just be a one-off victim to never be seen again. Alice even jokes that she'll probably show up in a case soon, and I truly wouldn't be surprised if we really do get an episode involving several hospital deaths by drowning, similar to how Jane Prentiss was believed to be dead only to come back and kill seven hospital staff members.
Still curious about the tape recorder. Maybe it's a red herring but considering she never reached the bottom of the ocean... I wonder if maybe she somehow crossed to TMP universe through this experience. That's much more of a reach, there could be plenty of other explanations for why she has a tape recorder but it's something to think about.

Hello Reddit.
Today I finally beat the 2.3 storyline. I still have all sidequests to do, the current event and god knows what else is there. While I liked the overall story, I think the pacing in Penacony is horrible. I had to force myself to continue the story sometimes and I just want to talk about it a bit.
First of all, I am someone who normally reads everything that's available. Maybe not immediately, but when I meet an NPC I talk to them about everything. Which leads to my first complaint. The Emotion Dial was a neat idea, but overall I think it just bloated NPC dialogues and basically all of it was nice fluff, but overall pretty uninteresting. Now this is completly optional, so it's not that much of an issue, but I have to say, I am happy when this "feature" is gone.
Now to the main issue. 2.1 and 2.2 have many parts where it's just dialogue followed by dialogue followed by running from A to B followed by more dialogue. And these parts can take 1+ hour until you get to actual gameplay. I do like my visual novels, so I can deal with large amounts of text, but in this case these long stretches of just story and nothing else completely killed my vibe and I often just stopped after 1-2 hours. People complain about the Luofu storyline, but the overall pacing was still much better there. I also think 2.0 didn't have that much of a problem, even if there were also long parts with nothing but dialogue (the Firefly date for example, at least until you reached the Rooftop area). To give one concrete example:
Starting 2.2, you get some dialogue and then can explore the Dreamflux. After that you get more dialogue, a flashback and you finally reach the Moment of Scorchsand. Now All of that, with exploration and talking to NPCs and doing the story it took me somewhere between 2-3 hours to get here. I had a whooping 1 battle against normal enemies in that timeframe. This is followed by some small gameplay areas, until you meet Sunday which followes with more dialogue. After that, you get Mishas backstory until you finally reach the Theater. Thise whole section is essentially just one cutscene after another and takes anoter, oof, 30-60+ minutes? Then you play through the whole theater until you get to the "boss". Once that is beaten, you have another 20-30 minutes of just dialogue until you reach the fake ending.
I am not sure if I am alone here, but imo Penacony has just way too many cutscenes and too long stretches without gameplay. I don't really know what could be changed besides "dial back the cutscenes" though.
So anyway, what do you think about the pacing of Penacony? I still think the overall story was good, but they could have cut 1-2 hours of dialogue and nothing would have been lost, imo.

I have 2 exes. One who constantly came back, the other who never did. The one who came back, I was with for 3 years and he dumped me because he "lost feelings". He still reaches out to me every now and then. It used to make me feel good to see him reaching out initially especially as it was my longest relationship and I felt very bad about how he had left but over time I realised it didn't matter because if he was the one for me he wouldn't have left or at the very least would've tried to make amends a lot earlier on(something I learned later on). Most of our contact post-breakup would lead to arguments and cutting each other off repeatedly. I grew sick of this on/off behaviour and we both said goodbye to each other for good. He has still continued to reach out and even tried enquiring about my new relationship - I blocked him.
The other ex never reached out to me. He was my best friend for 4 years before we mutually decided to explore our feelings for each other. That relationship lasted a year and our breakup was due to neither of us willing to convert. He never treated me badly and he was good to me throughout and yet till date he has never reached out. Our mutual friends said he was very very torn up about our break up to the point where he started drinking yet till date he has not contacted me once, maybe out of respect, maybe indifference. No contact from him used to hurt me a lot, I felt like I meant nothing.
I loved them both at different points in life. The love was different because the guy was different but the foundation of it was the same because the foundation was within me.
In both situations, I still moved on. I experienced the ex coming back and the one who never did and now here I am 3 years later over both of them. Happy that both of them are not here, even the one that was good to me. I wish them both well but I don't care to know about their lives anymore. After both breakups I did probably everything this sub tells you not to do , I reached out plenty of times. It would take me atleast 3 months of back and forth to even commit to no contact.I felt like my heart was being ripped apart. I felt betrayed. When both of them broke up with me I felt like I wouldn't feel the same way again. But I did. It took me a lot of mental torture, bread crumbing, social media stalking the lot but after reflecting on the way I would feel after a breakup I realised how little I look after myself. I
I've learnt that everyone heals differently and at different speeds but if you reflect both on your own behaviour, theirs and that of your relationship you can speed up the healing process. You need to face all the dirty stuff; including your own mistakes. You need to feel the pain, the hurt, the anger, the jealousy every single emotion.If you don't it will remain bottled up inside you and resurface later down the line which is what you don't want.Don't let regret consume you, don't let someone who isn't meant to be yours hold you back from the one who is. Work on yourself every single day no matter how difficult it is because that is how you will move on and YES it completely okay to have setbacks, you just have to truly believe one day, maybe not today but one day this won't matter to me anymore and I promise you that is exactly what will happen.
I am proof of all the people who have said they woke up one day and felt nothing for their ex anymore. It's happened to me twice, with two completely different guys, two completely different relationships and me being absolutely mentally destroyed at the time. Just look forward to that feeling and it'll come quicker than you expect because life stops for no one.

Start of this year I randomly noticed a bald spot on the crown of my head that kept growing in size and losing hair for 3 months until I finally went to see somebody about it when I realized nothing I was doing was working. They said it was male pattern baldness and mild lymphocytic alopecia and they gave me some stuff to deal with it.
Anyways, its working wonders and my hair is growing back, but the hair is obviously king of messy due to being uneven now. Basically my parents keep telling me I need to cut it to even it out but I don't want to touch it at all until my hair was back the way it was. They argue that the medication is actually affecting my scalp and not the hair itself so cutting it doesn't matter....they're probably right but I just want to leave it until I'm satisfied with the progress of the treatment.
Is it unreasonable of me? How would you deal with this if you were in my situation?

Context: I am a 21F and my bf is a 27M. I am a psychology major applying for grad school this fall and my bf works full time. We both live with our parents, however I live rent free and get an allowance that I have been saving up while he pays $700 a month. His rent includes his phone, car insurance, laundry cleaned, and lunch a few days a week (2-3 days). His mother started complaining about housework, so I started doing his laundry, cooking his lunch 5 days a week, and he showers at my place so he asked his parents to cut the rent so he could contribute to groceries, they gave him a $100 cut for the month (which is where I see them using him as a profit because that’s some cheap sht). I was originally going to my bf’s place a couple times a week, and his mother has this thing where she jokes about “are you sure you want my son, he’s poor”. My boyfriend says it’s a Brazilian thing so I brush it off. But then she just loses her sht for like a week every couple of months where she calls my bf lazy, poor, fat, a b*tch, etc. He says some nasty things back to her, they don’t talk for a few weeks, and then they’re back to normal again. This drives me crazy since I see a lack of boundaries and unhealthy communication, and I tried to talk to my bf about it but he doesn’t see an issue with it. So, I let it go.
The sht show: Now his mother is screaming at him, I walk out of the house like always since I can’t handle conflict, and 20 minutes later she storms outside and tells me that there is no point to our relationship because I don’t do anything for him or contribute financially to move out. Like I said, I’m in college, I’m taking 18 credit hours a semester, no summers off, studying for the GRE, getting grad applications ready, and looking for a job in my field since I’m tired of working bs jobs. I also have been saving and collecting furniture (I have everything but a living room couch). My bf and I also have an arrangement that he will buy us a house when I go to grad school, he will pay the bills, and when I’m done with school I will help him pay off the principle faster. I stand there silent, taking it, and I walk away down the street. I call my stepdad to pick me up since my bf drove me there. My bf calls me 20 minutes later and says his dad wouldn’t let him out of his room and still wouldn’t let him go. I hung up, called his sister and told her I would be calling the cops if her dad wouldn’t let my bf go. He was released pretty quickly. A couple weeks go by and nobody would talk about it. My bf brought it up, and his parents told him to drop it because “time will fix it”. 2 months after: my bf told them that they can’t interfere in our relationship and he would go no contact if they didn’t stop, however, they claim they did nothing wrong and they did not overstep. Also, they said he can cut contact because they are family and I’m just a gf and I don’t mean sht. Going on 3 months now, my bf’s family is now inviting me to my bf’s birthday party next month which I have gone no contact and have full intention of maintaining, I’m just wondering what to do at this point as I am concerned this will affect holidays and create a bridge between us. My bf says it’s fine and I don’t have to see them, but I don’t want him around his mother is the problem. She talks to him like garbage and has the audacity to tell me what to do in my relationship. I just wish we could go no contact and I am thinking about just demanding he gets an apt (he hates the idea of renting but he can’t buy until we know where I’m going to grad school). I just don’t even know what to do anymore and it’s causing me so much stress and anxiety. Any advice would really be appreciated.

My husband is BPD. He torments me daily. He swears, insults, demeans and sometimes rages. We own a business and work 7 days a week but currently I babysit for my granddaughter twice a week and show up at work at 4. Three kids all married and on their own and my life consists of work and getting sworn at. When he’s not completely mean he’s crying and whining (sometimes on the floor) overblown and just miserable. I need to get out.
I’m in therapy and making a plan to leave. I talk about it like I can’t wait. Well today I called a lawyer and he was so clear cut, to the point, no nonsense. Like why are you waiting. Find somewhere to go and we can file papers. Suddenly I got scared. Is it that bad? Is this a mistake? I listened back to some of the recordings I have of him screaming at me. Can they be twisted? Am I victimizing myself? How can I do this to him?
I tried getting a therapy appt sooner than my next scheduled in two weeks. Nothing available. Now I sit here and need someone to talk sense into me. He swore at me for showing up a half hour late today and I went in the office and self harmed. I need so much help. My mind is so confused. What is wrong with me?

okay so i’ve had this friend for 3 years now. we met at work and the first thing she ever talked to me about was her boyfriend holding another girls hand and asked what i would do. since then we’ve been friends and we would go out a lot. i’m going to make a list of what i’ve been through with her to make it shorter: - let me walk home alone when i was drunk and was feeling sick because she was with me ”the guys” - she dragged me to a party out of town because her boyfriend was there and she wanted to be petty (he didn’t invite her and went with his friends) - i fell asleep on her bed after a party and she let her friend sleep next to me when i told her all night i wasn’t comfortable being around him - she told my sisters business to her roommates - she hasn’t been there for me when i’ve been going through a lot but expects me to do that for her - went after the guy i thought was cute after i told her
the list could go on and that’s not even mentioning her problems with other friends she’s lost. she had roommates when we first met and one of them was her best friend for years. now they don’t talk. so recently i moved back to my home state and we talk regularly but only about her bf. keep in mind, she went through a lot with her ex that we helped her through and she still stayed with him but complained about him all the time. and now with her current bf i see the same patterns. she’s always asking for advice but never takes it. i’ve also had a conversation with her about how i’ve felt but nothing changes. i guess im just tired of the friendship. so i’m asking for advice, should i feel bad for not wanting to be friends anymore? should i just cut her off? what would you guys do?

I don't mind if the save is a bust because it's a separate experimental save on this playthrough. My real save is pre any testing, besides I do have to go back to save Mayrina, help Halsin with the shadow curse on my real save. I'm going to kill Ketheric to see if Jaheira is still recruitable on this test save
A break down
My test was:
*Can I avoid killing Isobel?
*and get Shadowheart to kill Nightsong?
*and save Jaheira
All while my party is all the way over in the Shadowfell and thus too far away to protect Jaheira?
All of the characters were standing in a silence bubble except Shadowheart and Nightsong. Idr why I did this
The answer is yes but it gets buggy which is as expected when you do things you aren't really supposed to do. Perhaps Jaheira will be stuck the way she is now. More on that later. I'll have to kill Ketheric on this test save to know for sure
My main character got locked into the Last Light Inn falls cut scene but the three other party members did not. Was it always this way? Or was it because we were in the silence bubble?
I decided okay test. Can I teleport the other three to Last Light Inn. The answer is yes
I switched back to my main to progress the fall of Last Light Inn cutscene
The other three companions were already standing right next to Jaheira so when the cut scene ended they were in combat and near Jaheira to protect her
Combat was a success and Jaheira survived
Moonrise Towers was pre cleared in advance because I wouldn't have a harper army
Buggy

• Jaheira believes Isobel is alive. I don't know what other issues this will cause, but as this isn't a real save but is an experimental save I will kill Ketheric and find out if she still believes Isobel lives

*Jaheira doesn't recognize that we've finished the Shadowfell. She hasn't gone to Moonrise Towers
Will update later when I have more information