Over the course of the past few months I have been working on compiling a list of my 500 favorite songs. It was sort of challenge that I gave myself and I'm super pumped with how it turned out. There were a few rules (only 5 songs per artist being the big rule, among a few others), and here's the list I came up with. Thought it was fun, so wanted to share here and see if it might spark any discussion about song placement, lack of songs/artists, or see if anyone had any similar lists. All thoughts are welcome! (and if you don't care to comb through all 500 songs for your favorite song or artist I'm more than happy to help you track 'em down)

Trash Panda - Aging out of the 20th Century
Djo - Roddy
The Beatles - Don't Let Me Down
Snail Mail - Heat Wave
Phoebe Bridgers - Savior Complex
Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK
The Shins - The Fear
Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
The Cranberries - Linger
Post Animal - Ralphie
Hop Along - Not Abel
The Beach Boys - Heroes And Villains
Electric Light Orchestra - Livin' Thing
The Monkees - As We Go Along
Blondie - Heart Of Glass
The Strokes - Oblivius
Chet Baker - It's Always You
The Beatles - Rain
Electric Light Orchestra - Telephone Line
Husbands - Must Be a Cop
Faces - Ooh La La
The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize??
Frank Ocean - Nights
Harry James - It's Been a Long, Long Time
The Turtles - Happy Together
Etta James - At Last
The Zombies - The Way I Feel Inside
The Beatles - Here, There And Everywhere
The Beach Boys - God Only Knows
Kanye West - Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1
Briston Maroney - Sinkin'
John Lennon - Oh My Love
Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - Ladyfingers
Squirrel Flower - Headlights
The Backseat Lovers - Maple Syrup
The B-52's - Rock Lobster
George Harrison - All Things Must Pass
Snail Mail - Ben Franklin
Laura Elliott - Grass Stains
Djo - Chateau (Feel Alright)
Tame Impala - Eventually
The Backseat Lovers - Snowbank Blues
Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune
The Weeknd - Save Your Tears
Talking Heads - Thank You for Sending Me an Angel
The Zombies - Time of the Season
The War On Drugs - Nothing to Find
Queen - Brighton Rock
The Dream Academy - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
The B-52's - Strobe Light
The Cranberries - Dreams
Fugees - Killing Me Softly With His Song
Molchat Doma - Тоска
Tyler, The Creator - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
The Mamas & The Papas - Dream A Little Dream Of Me
The Chords - Sh-Boom
The Beatles - The Abbey Road Medley
The Ronettes - Be My Baby
The Who - Baba O'Riley
Dr. Dog - Where'd All the Time Go?
M83 - My Tears Are Becoming A Sea
Billie Eilish - everything i wanted
Outkast - Hey Ya!
Nat King Cole - Orange Colored Sky
The Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
Four Tops - Reach Out I'll Be There
Foreign Air - Shut Up and Show Me
Leonard Cohen - So Long, Marianne
dodie - If I'm Being Honest
Briston Maroney - June
Post Malone - Sunflower
John Lennon - Isolation
Buddy Holly & The Crickets - Not Fade Away
Phoebe Bridgers - I Know The End
Kanye West - All Falls Down
Alvvays - Adult Diversion
John Lennon - Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)
Clairo - Amoeba
The Beach Boys - I Know There's An Answer
Paul McCartney - Let Me Roll It
Frank Ocean - Ivy
Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack
Djo - Mutual Future (Repeat)
Phoebe Bridgers - Scott Street
Childish Gambino - Me and Your Mama
Pink Floyd - Astronomy Domine
The Pied Pipers - Dream
The Beach Boys - All I Wanna Do
Djo - Change
Второй этаж поражает - Крайности
Little Richard - Lucille
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Shanghai
Chet Baker - Deep In A Dream
The Beatles - It's All Too Much
Post Animal - Dirtpicker
The B-52's - Love Shack
EDEN - foreve/over
Kanye West - Ultralight Beam
The Zombies - Going Out Of My Head
Talking Heads - Found a Job
Snail Mail - Pristine
Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love
Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World
WILLIS - I Think I Like When It Rains
Chet Baker - But Not For Me
Naked Eyes - Always Something There to Remind Me
Tyler, The Creator - GONE, GONE / THANK YOU
Djo - Half Life
Trash Panda - Check Please
Briston Maroney - Deep Sea Diver
Beach Fossils - This Year
Momma - Medicine
Hop Along - Prior Things
Talking Heads - Road to Nowhere
Electric Light Orchestra - Turn to Stone
Briston Maroney - It's Not My Fault
Tyler, The Creator - NEW MAGIC WAND
Snail Mail - Headlock
Phil Collins - Take Me Home
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
The Beach Boys - Do It Again
Tame Impala - Breathe Deeper
Ella Fitzgerald - Misty
Phoebe Bridgers - Waiting Room
Kanye West - Runaway
Daft Punk - Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers)
Dire Straits - Money for Nothing
Kendrick Lamar - Alright
Black Country, New Road - Concorde
George Harrison - If Not for You
Harry Styles - Cherry
Ms. Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing)
Paul McCartney - Junk
Wings - Maybe I'm Amazed [Live]
Talking Heads - Houses in Motion
Del Water Gap - Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat
Pixies - Where Is My Mind?
Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye
Paul McCartney - Jet
Sufjan Stevens - Death with Dignity
A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away)
Tame Impala - Let It Happen
Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
Clairo - Management
Tommy James & The Shondells - I Think We're Alone Now
Fergie - Clumsy
Childish Gambino - This Is America
Prefab Sprout - The King of Rock 'N' Roll
Joy Again - Looking Out for You
Beach House - Space Song
John Lennon - Mind Games
The Weeknd - Gasoline
Weezer - Buddy Holly
Phoebe Bridgers - Sidelines
Tame Impala - New Person, Same Old Mistakes
Lana Del Rey - A&W
The Dillards - I've Just Seen a Face
The Doors - Break on Through (To the Other Side)
Julie London - I'm Glad There Is You
2Pac - California Love
Dean Martin - Everybody Loves Somebody
Snail Mail - Anytime
The Strokes - The Adults Are Talking
Jordana, TV Girl - Better in the Dark
Juice WRLD - Hide (feat. Seezyn)
The Wild Reeds - Get Better
Finom - Mine
Hop Along - One That Suits Me
The Killers - Mr. Brightside
Michael Cera - Clay Pigeons
Clairo - Bags
Prince - Let's Go Crazy
The Zombies - She's Not There
Blackstreet - No Diggity
Frank Sinatra - I've Got You Under My Skin
John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads
Harry James - I'm Beginning to See The Light
The Clash - London Calling
Charles Bradley - Changes
Buddy Holly - (Ummmm, Oh Yeah) Dearest
Eagles - Seven Bridges Road [Live]
Moxie - Honey
Faces - Stay with Me
Post Animal - How Do You Feel
New Order - Age of Consent
Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
Lana Del Rey - Doin' Time
Twin Peaks - Blue Coupe
Kanye West - Gold Digger
Fruit Bats - The Bottom of It
Frank Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid
Lorde - Perfect Places
Martha Tilton - Exactly Like You
King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man
Glen Campbell - Southern Nights
Claire Rosinkranz - Frankenstein
Guillemots - Made-Up Lovesong #43
Fleetwood Mac - Say You Love Me
Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes off You
The Crickets - Don't Ever Change
Paul Anka - Put Your Head On My Shoulder
George Harrison - Isn't It a Pity
Trash Panda - Off
Super Besse - Holod
Beyoncé - Hold Up
Charlie Burg - I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You
Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling
Ella Fitzgerald - It's A Lovely Day Today
PERMSKY KRAY - Дорогой Человек
The Little Dippers - Forever
The B-52's - There's a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon)
Patti Page - Old Cape Cod
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
The Soggy Bottom Boys - I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow
Trash Panda - Things Will Never Change
Hop Along - Well-dressed
Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me
TV Girl - Daughter of a Cop
LAUNDRY DAY - Jane
Tyler, The Creator - EARFQUAKE
Sigue Sigue Sputnik - Love Missile F1-11
Joji - Gimme Love
The Backseat Lovers - Pool House
The Weeknd - Take My Breath
Mild High Club - Homage
Doc Watson - Am I Born to Die?
Daniel Caesar - Streetcar
The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon
John Lennon - #9 Dream
Tame Impala - Elephant
Chuck Berry - You Never Can Tell
Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
KIDS SEE GHOSTS - 4th Dimension
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
The B-52's - Song for a Future Generation
Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans
Billie Eilish - Halley's Comet
Glenn Miller - In the Mood
Kid Bloom - Control
The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build A Home
Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
Brenda Lee - If You Love Me (Really Love Me)
TV Girl - Lovers Rock
Art Lown - Knew You Well
Dean Martin - Ain't That A Kick In The Head
Miniature Tigers - Like or Like Like
Electric Light Orchestra - Sweet Talkin' Woman
The Hunts - Ages
The Cars - Good Times Roll
Bill Withers - Lovely Day
Drake - God's Plan
Kansas - Point of Know Return
The Neighbourhood - Stargazing
The Clash - Rock the Casbah
Hop Along - What the Writer Meant
Briston Maroney - Under My Skin
Jack Stauber - Buttercup
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Ya Love
Ginger Root - Loretta
Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now
Frank Ocean - Pyramids
Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)
Destroy Boys - I Threw Glass at My Friend's Eyes and Now I'm on Probation
Mild High Club - Dionysian State
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
Kevin Abstract - Empty
The Frights - Crust Bucket
Stealers Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You
The Shins - Fighting in a Sack
fun. - We Are Young (feat. Janelle Monáe)
Lil Uzi Vert - Money Longer
Miniature Tigers - Cannibal Queen
The Doors - Touch Me
Jean Dawson - Clear Bones
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Catching Smoke
Molchat Doma - Люди Надоели
The Go-Go's - Our Lips Are Sealed
Billie Eilish - ocean eyes
BOYO - Crown
The 1975 - Somebody Else
Husbands - She's a Betty
Syd Barrett - If It's In You
Trash Panda - Atlanta Girls
Frank Ocean - Godspeed
Alice Phoebe Lou - Glow
Childish Gambino - Redbone
New Order - Blue Monday
Post Animal - Schedule
Harry Styles - Fine Line
Harry James - I'll Get By (As Long As I Have You)
Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again
Chet Baker - I Fall In Love Too Easily
The Cranberries - Put Me Down
John Mayer - Edge of Desire
George Harrison - All Those Years Ago
Electric Light Orchestra - The Diary of Horace Wimp
Alex Clare - Too Close
Eric B. & Rakim - Know The Ledge
Peter Frampton - Show Me The Way [Live]
Simon & Garfunkel - Mrs. Robinson
Black Eyes - Deformative
The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody
Bonny Light Horseman - Deep In Love
The Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore
Cage The Elephant - Cigarette Daydreams
Hot Flash Heat Wave - Raindrop
Clairo - Sofia
Kendrick Lamar - PRIDE.
Camille Saint-Saëns - The Swan
Weezer - Say It Ain't So
C418 - Sweden
Lana Del Rey - Let The Light In (feat. Father John Misty)
The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
Pickin' On Series - Those to Come
Lana Del Rey - Grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he's deep-sea fishing (feat. RIOPY)
John Mayer - Moving On and Getting Over
Field Medic - POWERFUL LOVE
Cage The Elephant - Flow
Joji - Run
The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
Boston - Peace of Mind
Ben E. King - This Magic Moment
David Bowie - Starman
Beastie Boys - Sabotage
Harry Belafonte - Banana Boat (Day-O)
Gene Krupa & His Orchestra - Rhumboogie
The Cardigans - Lovefool
The Kinks - You Really Got Me
The Zombies - She's Coming Home
Michael Jackson - Thriller
Moxie - Blue Skies
The Mamas & The Papas - Straight Shooter
Peter, Paul and Mary - Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
Green Day - Brain Stew
Dua Lipa - Levitating (feat. DaBaby)
The Police - Roxanne
Britney Spears - Toxic
Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels
Rex Orange County - Pluto Projector
The Strokes - Call It Fate, Call It Karma
Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still
The Black Crowes - Twice As Hard
Ted Nugent - Stranglehold
fun. - Some Nights
Wings - Silly Love Songs
Paramore - Still into You
Peter Frampton - Baby, I Love Your Way [Live]
The Monkees - Last Train to Clarksville
Royel Otis - Oysters In My Pocket
The Backseat Lovers - Growing/Dying
Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
Post Animal - Goggles
Erik Satie - Gymnopédie No. 1
Childish Gambino - IV. Sweatpants
Steely Dan - Dirty Work
ABBA - Lay All Your Love On Me
Still Woozy - Goodie Bag
Arlo Parks - Black Dog
Goth Babe - Weekend Friend
George & the Handsomes - Sleepy Beats
boygenius - 20
The Mills Brothers - You Always Hurt The One You Love
Travis Scott - SICKO MODE
Pinegrove - Need 2
The Backseat Lovers - Sinking Ship
Franz Schubert - Ave Maria
Zac Brown Band - Knee Deep (feat. Jimmy Buffett)
Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
Simon & Garfunkel - Cecilia
The Cranberries - Zombie
Daniel Caesar - Japanese Denim
Billie Holiday - Easy Living
ISLAND - By Your Side
Phil Collins - Tomorrow Never Knows
Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'
The Four Freshmen - Day By Day
Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
Billy Joel - Big Shot
Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever
Yot Club - down bad
Rihanna - Stay
Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 2: No. 10, Scene. Moderato
The White Stripes - Fell In Love With a Girl
Alvvays - Easy On Your Own?
Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - If We Were Vampires
Blackway - What's Up Danger (with Black Caviar)
Albert Hammond - It Never Rains in Southern California
Matt Maltese - Jupiter
John Denver - Mother Nature's Son
Childish Gambino - Sober
Claire Rosinkranz - Pools and Palm Trees
The Cars - Just What I Needed
The Doors - Light My Fire
Blondie - Tomorrow Never Knows
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Hell's Itch
The Japanese House - Saw You In A Dream
Franz Schubert - String Quartet No. 13 in A Minor, Op. 29 No. 1, D. 804
The Drifters - White Christmas
The 1975 - Robbers
George Harrison - Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea
The Frights - Tongues
Paramore - Ain't It Fun
Billy Joel - Pressure
Frank Sinatra - My Way
Art Lown - Going Back to Carolina
Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are
Under The Rug - Lonesome & Mad
The Mamas & The Papas - Dedicated To The One I Love
Foster The People - Sit Next to Me
Weezer - Undone - The Sweater Song
Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
Tia Blake - Plastic Jesus
Los Bravos - Bring a Little Lovin'
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
Minnie Riperton - Les Fleurs
Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself
Cody Fry - I Hear a Symphony
Gringo Sapiens - Driver's Licence
Vacations - Relax
Glitter Party - time waits
Steve Lacy - Bad Habit
The Crystals - Then He Kissed Me
The Pied Pipers - Mairzy Doats
Mitski - Bug Like an Angel
James Ray - I've Got My Mind Set On You
Clairo - Bubble Gum
Masayoshi Takanaka - SEXY DANCE
Nat King Cole - (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons
Sleigh Bells - Crown On the Ground
Olivia Rodrigo - favorite crime
No Doubt - Just A Girl
Foreigner - Long, Long Way from Home
Heart - Crazy On You
The Hunts - Darlin'
David Bowie - Heroes
Alice Phoebe Lou - Hammer
Thee Oh Sees - Toe Cutter - Thumb Buster
Roar - I Can't Handle Change
TV Girl - Birds Dont Sing
Laufey - From The Start
Chas McDevitt Skiffle Group - Freight Train (feat. Nancy Whiskey)
Metro Boomin - Am I Dreaming
Liana Flores - rises the moon
POP ETC - Speak Up
Jean Knight - Mr. Big Stuff
The Platters - Twilight Time
Derek & The Dominos - Layla
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Homeless Man in Adidas
Charlie Burg - Lovesong (The Way)
Hot Flash Heat Wave - Gutter Girl
ABBA - Fernando
Mitski - My Love Mine All Mine
Savannah Conley - More Than Fine
Young the Giant - Mind Over Matter
Future Crib - Yer Movin'
Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
benches - Violent
Musical Youth - Pass The Dutchie
Olivia Rodrigo - vampire
Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone - City Of Stars
Maya Hawke - Thérèse
Current Joys - A Different Age
Wayne Newton - Danke Schoen
La Roux - Bulletproof
Jason Segel, Walter - Man Or Muppet
U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
The Raconteurs - Steady, As She Goes
The Ink Spots - Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall
Ace of Base - The Sign
Vulfpeck - 1612
Nordista Freeze - Hey GiGi
The Chainsmokers - New York City
Suki Waterhouse - Johanna
Pete Rodriguez - I Like It Like That
Calvin Harris - Summer
The Rare Occasions - Notion
a-ha - Take on Me
Rush - Working Man
Traffic - Dear Mr. Fantasy
Starbuck - Moonlight Feels Right
Van Halen - Drop Dead Legs
The Troggs - Wild Thing
Led Zeppelin - Good Times Bad Times
The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)
Cream - Sunshine Of Your Love
Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (feat. Timbaland)
David Bowie - Suffragette City
Ludwig van Beethoven - Sonata No. 14 in C-Sharp Minor, Op. 27, No. 2 "Moonlight"
Avicii - Wake Me Up
The Who - La-La-La-Lies
The Spinners - The Rubberband Man
MGMT - Time to Pretend
Hootie & The Blowfish - Only Wanna Be With You
Sheck Wes - Mo Bamba
Claire Rosinkranz - 123
Ringo Starr - Photograph
The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
Duran Duran - Rio

My hands are shaking as I write this, I have to document my story incase something happens to me in the next few days. I'm not sure where to begin but I suppose here is better than anywhere.
I've always had this weird feeling, this sensation inside of me that I was older than I actually was. By the time I was twelve, my soul felt as though it was forty. By the time I reached twenty, I felt like an old woman. I would watch people around my age acting foolish, and I always thought, "What a bunch of children." So it was no surprise to anyone that when I turned twenty-one, I left my hometown and college and decided to spend the summer alone by renting an old farmhouse in an insignificant town on the edge of an even more insignificant border.
When I told my mother, she had a veritable fit, unable to find the words. She spluttered and raged around me for days before I finally left early one morning to avoid her guilt and frustration with my choices. I was not sure why I craved solitude at such a young age, why I found solace in being alone and removed from society.
In high school, I had changed unexpectedly, cutting my long blonde hair short and dying it black, getting piercings that my mother loathed and claimed no young lady should have. You see, my mother was raised proper, as she called it. Good family, good husband, and finally a good life. She despised her perfect life being squashed by my alternative looks and feelings of the same world. She just didn't understand me or the world as it changed around her. I felt like I was just a trophy to her and my father, her perfect angel who had been tainted by my own demented thoughts.
I never told my parents where I was staying, one last rebellious mission before leaving for a few months, and it took me only a few hours to arrive at the farmhouse where I would be staying for the next few months. The land around the farm was dead or dying, old crops rose out of the dry dusty earth and had turned black and forgotten, as if this land was the example of dreams long forgotten and empty. A single dreary lane connected this desolate farmhouse to the rest of the world. On the outside, it was drab and looked as though it would fall apart. It had two stories but still seemed cramped and small, as if it were a single floor tied to the ground.
Across from the house, bordering the tall weeds that had reclaimed much of the farmland, stood a maudlin-looking faded red barn, one door propped open in a dejected manner revealing naught to me but shadows, dust, and a little mystery.
Next to the barn, staked into the ground on an old-looking cross, was a ragged scarecrow. It had drab brown clothing, but its face was oddly realistic, like it was watching me with a disapproving manner. Straw poked through its joints at odd angles like they were trying to break free from their confines. The scarecrow obviously didn't do its job as it was covered in no less than three crows.
I parked my car next to the barn and stepped out into the dusty yard before the farmhouse that I would make my home for the next few months. I checked under the front mat for the key and put it in the lock.
With a satisfying click, the door fell inward into the farmhouse. Surprisingly, the inside of the farmhouse was modern, clean, and looked quite inviting. I could smell the fresh paint on the walls, and everything was so white. The realtor had told me she would stop by tomorrow to collect the rent, and she had tried to chat my ear off on the phone about all the renovations she and her son were doing on the place.
I sighed with contentment and tossed my bags beside the door. I dug around in my bag and removed my camera, my father's old film shooter as he called it. I had taken up the hobby years ago for what I called capturing the oddity in the world.
I explored the small house a little more; the ground floor consisted of a single room and small bathroom with a shower. The bedroom was upstairs and was the only room, the stairs connected directly to the white and pink monstrosity that was the master bedroom. The pillows had laces on them and almost made me gag from the cuteness. There was even cute white lace curtains on the window with little flowers stitched onto them.
Out of the only window of the room, I could see the barn and the scarecrow. I aimed my camera at the pair and snapped a photo. From this angle, the scarecrow appeared to be staring straight at me. It stood next to the left side of the barn in a dejected manner like a chastised child.
A shudder involuntarily ran through me at the sight, but I moved on back downstairs. It was getting close to dinner time now, and I had brought some food with me.
After a few minutes, I had my dinner on the stove cooking and the crickets chirping outside the open window. As I sat down to eat next to the window, I felt at peace for one of the first times in years. The solitude of this old farm was exactly what I needed. The window supplied a nice breeze that wafted through the place, it smelled of grass and warm summer nights, made me feel at peace. The simple dish of spaghetti with tomato sauce and a glass of wine was all that I needed right here, right now in this moment.
That night I climbed into the frilly laced bed and sunk into the claustrophobic mattress. I felt like Goldilocks in the mama bear's bed as it was altogether too soft. From my perfumed bed, I had a good view out the window. I had left the porch light on, and it cast an eerie glow across the yard. The barn loomed ominously, stalwart against the light of the porch, like it was protecting the shadows from the battering ram of light. The somber scarecrow leaned against the left side of the barn.
With a small jump, I thought I saw its arm move slightly. I peered through my camera using the zoom to get a better view of the scarecrow. It was completely still in the night, and I laughed quietly to myself at my silliness. I had always enjoyed horror movies, but there was no chance I was living in one. I settled back into bed and put my camera down. Within a few minutes, I fell into sleep's warm embrace.
What felt like only a few minutes later, I sat up in bed. It was still dark out, I could hear crickets chirping through the open window, and I strained my ears for a moment.
I thought something had woken me up. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as a cold breeze wafted in through the window. I pulled the frilly blanket up around myself when I heard it. A thud sounded below me, shaking the whole world into silence. The crickets stopped chirping, and my heart felt like it had stopped beating. Someone was in the house. I hadn't locked the door or closed the kitchen window, and now someone was downstairs. A second thud sounded like a boot on the staircase. Then another and another as something was slowly moving up the stairs towards the room.
I don't know why I did it, but something came over me. I wasn't big or especially brave, but my normal cowardice in social situations changed instantly. With a dash, I tore across the room, flicking on the lights, ready to face my attacker, to defend myself against male or female. I would fight, and I would win.
But as the lights turned on, ready to strike with my foot, nothing was there. The staircase was empty, and upon further inspection, the entire house was empty. The kitchen window was open, and I shut and locked it securely before checking the door. Nothing. I sat down on the couch, my heart pounding out of my chest, as I tried to make sense of what had just happened.
"I must have still been half-asleep," I said aloud to the room in a thinly veiled attempt to calm my nerves. It failed horribly, but I went with it. What else could you do in a situation like that?
After locking up the house, I went back up to that frilly four-poster bed in the bedroom and stared out the window. Nothing was in the yard except my car, the barn, and the same old sad-looking scarecrow staring across the yard.
Day 2
The next morning, I woke up to the soft light filtering through the lace curtains. Despite the strange events of the previous night, I felt strangely refreshed, as if the morning sun had chased away the shadows that lingered in my mind.
I descended the stairs, the wooden steps creaking softly under my weight, and headed to the kitchen. As I brewed a pot of coffee, my mind wandered back to the events of last night. Was it just a figment of my imagination, or was there really someone in the house?
Shaking off the unease, I decided to explore the farmhouse in the daylight. I wandered through the room, admiring the modern renovations that clashed with the rustic exterior. The farmhouse had a charm to it, despite its eerie surroundings.
As I made my way outside, the cool morning air greeted me, and I took a deep breath, letting the serenity of the countryside wash over me. The barn stood tall against the backdrop of the morning sky, and the scarecrow seemed to watch me as I crossed the yard.
I approached the barn, curiosity getting the better of me. Pushing open the creaky door, I stepped inside, the musty scent of hay filling my nostrils. The interior was dimly lit, the sunlight filtering through the cracks in the wooden walls.
I explored every nook and cranny of the barn, but found nothing out of the ordinary. As I turned to leave, something caught my eye. In the corner of the barn, hidden beneath a pile of old blankets, was a small wooden chest.
My heart racing with anticipation, I lifted the lid of the trunk and peered inside. What I found took my breath away. It was a collection of old photographs, yellowed with age, depicting scenes from a bygone era. They were of a man with his family, two young kids, and a beautiful young wife. The man had yellow blonde hair, almost like straw in texture, but he smiled so happily with his family.
I sifted through the photographs, my fingers trembling with excitement. Who had left these behind, and why? Each photograph seemed to tell a story, a glimpse into the past of this forgotten farmhouse.
As I sat there, lost in thought, a sudden noise jolted me back to reality. It was the sound of footsteps coming from outside the barn.
"Hello?" The dreamy voice of a woman called to me from the entrance to the barn.
I slammed the lid of the trunk shut, closing the memories up in a flurry as I spun around to be greeted by a quite pretty woman with blonde hair and a pink suit skirt combo. She had bright pink lipstick, that seemed to be a permanent fixture on her face, and quite shiny and sparkly blue eye shadow on her lids. I myself only wore black eyeliner. This woman was like Barbie in her proportions, thin waist, long hair, and large tracts of land, as my father would have said.
"Oh, hello," I said simply, always awkward in normal social situations.
If she noticed anything odd about me, she breezed over it in an easy manner. Taking me by the shoulders, she led me out of the dusty barn and into the yard.
"You must be Polly. We have been waiting a while for you to come. I simply must know what you think of the renovations to the house. Aren’t they just to die for?" The lady said all in one breath, as if she didn’t need air to speak.
"Yes, they are quite nice..." I started before she cut me off, not in a rude manner but instead in one that she would have continued on even if I had just told her I was not Polly and instead I was a mass murderer looking for my next victim.
"You see, me and my son Eli—yes, Eli, you stop lurking in the shadows over there," she said, continuing on as I noticed a younger man leaning up against the barn. He wore simple clothes of jeans and a white t-shirt but had a handsome face. His hair was brown and hung slightly over his eyes.
"I hope you don’t mind if my son here continues working on some renovations while you stay here? Strictly on the outside of the house, mind you. A fresh coat of white paint would make this little beauty shine. We would have finished by now if not for the accidents," she continued, completely unabashed by my silence.
"Sorry. But you are the realtor?" I said, trying to regain my feet under me.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry, dear!" she said with an affable cackle.
"Yes, yes, I am Barbara, but all my friends call me Barb. That over there is Eli. Eli, come say hi," Barb said while her painted talons rested firmly on my shoulder.
Eli stomped over, keeping his eyes low, in a sort of moody way that actually intrigued me, sort of.
When he glanced up at me, I noticed he drank in me from head to toe, and for the first time, I realized what I was wearing. An old rock t-shirt of one of my favorite bands and, of all things, my black pajama bottoms with cartoon bats on them that said "happy halloween."
I felt my face blush crimson as he made eye contact with me. He had very mysterious eyes of blue that seemed to cut right through my soul.
"Nice shirt," he said while gesturing to me. His voice was quiet and uncertain, as if he didn’t get much practice with the art. Knowing his mother, it seemed highly accurate.
"Thanks. Do you like them?" I asked.
"Oh, he likes all sorts of things, don’t you, Eli? Honestly, you two can gab on forever. But miss, I believe we have a small matter of payment," Barb said, drawing the conversation back to herself.
"Of course. Let me go get it," I said as I went back into the house and retrieved the envelope with the rent money in it.
Barb grabbed the envelope in her bright pink talons and snapped a piece of bubblegum between her teeth. With quick fingers, she leafed through the cash, counting it. As she counted, her normal bubbly personality seemed to disappear, giving way to what I gleaned was her true thoughts and feelings before the facade slipped on once again.
"Mmkay, perfect honey, this is the right amount. Now you have my number, so you call if you need anything. Like I said earlier, Eli will stop by from time to time to work on painting the house. I promise you he won’t be an imposition, just pay him no mind," Barb said in a sweet voice as she popped her gum in between each word.
"Eli, come on, please, I have an appointment in town," Barb said to her son, and they both climbed into a garish pink convertible with jewels hanging from the mirror wrapped in a gold chain.
Barb waved one last time as she sped off out of the driveway, covering me in dust as she spun the wheel around.
With their departure, I went inside and retrieved my camera. I spent a few minutes shooting a few pictures I thought were worthy. I re-entered the barn and pulled the old trunk out into the sunshine. Inside was only a handful of photos, some old clothes, and what looked like some old heirlooms. A beautifully old candlestick and a few leather-bound books lay at the bottom, covered by an old tablecloth. The tablecloth was a nice white with intricate swirling patterns inlaid around the edges.
Why would these things be packed away in here? They were so beautiful. I decided to bring the stuff inside for further inspection. As I lifted the trunk, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something move in the tall grass at the edge of the property. I stared for a minute, but nothing moved again. I must be getting jumpy being alone like this. After last night and then this, I was just imagining things.
I brought the items inside and spread them out. I put the tablecloth on the table, and it hung low to the ground. I placed the candlestick by the window and took out the photos again, spreading them out.
The photos told me a story of a loving family that obviously lived in the farmhouse before me. They had a photo next to the barn, with a brand new looking scarecrow in the back. The man even had his arm around it; it looked so much cleaner and proper in this photo. I stared outside at the sad-looking scarecrow.
I took my camera and the photo and went outside to stand next to the scarecrow. His post hung kind of crooked in the earth like it was weighed down by the scarecrow.
I snapped a photo of the scarecrow as it was, then examined the original photo. I began resettling the post in the ground, but it kept sagging. I decided to pull him out of the ground and move him while I added more dirt to his hole. With some effort, I reseated him into his original hole. He already looked better, but I straightened his clothes and pulled out the last bits of straw that stuck out of his clothes. When I was finished, I looked back at him and took a photo, smiling while I did so at my work.
I then spent some time sweeping the front porch and banging the dust out of the cushions before I curled up on a wicker chair with plump cushions for a few hours reading a book I had brought with me.
I felt quite content at this place. The sounds of the crickets began again, putting me at ease as the sun began to descend. I had spent the entire day just relaxing, and it was perfect. I sat sprawled out in the chair, too lazy to go and make dinner or even move. My bladder was full, but I waited until the last moment before dashing inside and relieving myself.
That's when I noticed it, out in the yard. It seemed as if the scarecrow had moved closer. Once shrouded by the barn slightly, it now had moved a few steps into the light from the porch. My heart dropped at the sight. Not again, I must be asleep on the porch in the chair. I pinched myself, trying to wake up, but all I received was a sore arm.
I closed my eyes, then rubbed them, hoping to dispel whatever plagued my mind, but when I opened my eyes, I noticed the scarecrow was even closer. Halfway across the yard now, it sat menacingly, hanging crooked in the dirt. The scarecrow seemed to be staring at me with an intense gaze. The slits in its face were open now, and in the porch light, I swear I could see human eyes underneath the mask.
I moved towards the front door, locking it in a swift motion. I was shaking now, and it took me a minute to relax. I never took my eyes off the scarecrow for fear of it moving again.
My cellphone was upstairs, so I couldn't flee without the scarecrow moving again. I breathed out slightly and unlocked the door, letting it swing in with a creak. The night outside was silent, as if everything was holding its breath. The usual crickets that plagued me with their song day and night had fallen quiet. I stepped out onto the porch; I needed to go confront this demonic entity. Something about this still made me think this was a prank.
"Eli, is that you?" I called out to the scarecrow.
No response, of course. I steeled myself and put one foot off the porch, never taking my eyes off the scarecrow before me. Something seemed to be dripping from its head as I approached, a dark slime that seemed to be melting from its joints as it stood there silently, except for the constant drip of the liquid on the dry dirt before me.
I walked around the scarecrow, determined to figure out what was going on. As I circled it, my vision darkened for a moment as I faced towards the light of the house. I jumped as the scarecrow's head turned to face me as I looked away. The black liquid drained faster from the being, forming a shallow pool at its feet.
I'm not proud of what I did next, but I fled, taking my eyes off the scarecrow. I made a mad dash for the farmhouse. Behind me, I could hear the pounding of feet. I screamed as loud as my lungs would let me. My voice rang through the silence as I grabbed the door handle and wrenched open the door as I felt a strong grip fall on my shoulder.
I turned to defend myself, but nothing was there. The scarecrow was gone, the wooden cross had vanished, as had the pool of dark liquid in the dirt. The world sprung back to life; the crickets began chirping loudly, and my heart restarted. I slammed the door, and the air from my force scattered the photographs on the table. I ran upstairs, leaving the lights on in the house, and dove onto the bed, wrapping myself in the frilly blanket like a set of frilly armor.
I snatched my camera from the bedside table and held it close, determined to document the rest of the night. I held it in shaking hands as the noise downstairs began—the sound of boots crossing the floor to the stairs and the careful but heavy steps of ascension as they climbed closer and closer to me.
This time, I didn't lunge forward as the light was already on. I glanced out the window, but the scarecrow was still gone. I focused my camera on the stairs and waited as the steps came closer and closer. A shape began to form as the head of whatever was coming up the stairs crested the floor. Then a plain brown mask with slits where the eyes would be. It froze for a moment, then slowly turned its head towards me. Inside the slits were human eyes that seemed to be leaking dark red blood.
In the light, I could see it now. I snapped a photo of the beast, the flash setting off a reaction in the beast. The scarecrow moved so fast up the stairs it was a blur. My scream echoed throughout the house as it lunged at me. Filthy hands pinned me down, and the deep crimson liquid began pouring out of every joint of the scarecrow. It began covering my face, my eyes, and getting into my open mouth. I spluttered and kicked at the beast, but my blows had no purchase, as if the scarecrow on top of me had no substance to itself.
I coughed and spluttered on the liquid as it began to fill my mouth faster and faster. I tried not to swallow any, but it tried to find purchase as I was held down.
"Polly?" A nervous voice called from below.
Suddenly, as if the angels had called, the pressure dissipated, and I crashed to the floor in a heap, trying to spit the blood out, but nothing came—it was gone. Footsteps pounded up the stairs again, and I flew back in fear, closing my eyes.
"Oh my god. Polly, are you okay?" A voice said, and gentle hands grabbed my arm.
My eyes shot open at the human touch, and I grabbed Eli into a tight hug, where I promptly began sobbing in fear, my whole body shaking as Eli awkwardly hugged me.
"Don't worry, it's going to be okay," Eli said patiently to me as he hugged me back gently and began stroking my back.
I shivered in a choking sob and fell into his arms, desperately wanting to believe him, and for some reason, I did.

so there was this 1 game that was 2d platformer shooter with pixel graphics and i don't remember how the characters look like but it had coop and you can choose a girl with a pony tail and the intro started in a helicopter going to a island with 2 passengers, the pilot and the general/commander? talking about finding a guy and the final boss fight had the guy in a very big robot mech, you can buy guns from your island which had some parkour stuff and if you went to the right there was a target practice area? it had text iirc,i do remember clearly about a gun named bubble gun, it was a semi auto and you could have spammed it very fast, i don't think there was a fire delay on it.

I decided to play all the Uncrank’d Game Jam games and give them a personal ranking. I just want to say that all of the submissions are impressive for such a short window of time, and I don’t want to make it seem like I’m ragging on any of these by placing them low on this list. I have something positive to say about all of them, and I think everyone who submitted something should be proud. All the games are free on itch.io (possibly with a suggested donation), so I encourage you to check them all out on your own (but maybe not crammed into a two day period like I did).
Note: I didn’t include “Thought Bubble” because I couldn’t get it to run.
26) Torpedo Trouble - A game where you use the crank to control a boat and avoid incoming torpedoes. The controls work well and the graphics look nice, but I soon found that you could just point the ship downwards and none of the torpedoes could ever catch me. So, needs some fine tuning.
25) Blown Away - A pretty simple flappy-birdian game where you crank to keep your airplane up. It’s very difficult. I appreciated the idea of blowing into the microphone to give speed (very Cooking Mama), but I was never able to get it to work. I think the placement of the mic on the playdate just makes that very awkward? Shield Arena also used that mechanic as pretty much the Start Button, so then it was easy enough to turn the playdate and blow into it and then turn it back as the game was starting. Pressing A works instead of blowing, but you unfortunately lose the illusion of blowing onto your paper airplane when doing it that way.
24) Obol Trobol - Full credit to the dev for making a game that uses the accelerometer. It’s a pretty uncommonly used feature based on what I’ve played on the system. The game itself was a bit confusing to get the hang of, although I did eventually have one decent run. Not a lot there after one or two runs, but I did like the premise of tricking Charon in order to ferry souls.
23) Safety Diver - You drive around a little submersible and try to collect circles while avoiding blocks. You score points when you return circles to the surface, and the game ends if you ever return to the surface without any (also you lose all circles when you hit a block. Actually now that I write it out this is very “Sonic the Hedgehog” and I should probably be calling them rings). The controls and physics are both solid, and could be the baseline for a fun game from the dev in the future. There’s not a lot to the gameplay here though, and I felt like I pretty much had it down in a few minutes.
22) Cloudly Aware - A metroidvania style game (I’m guessing made in pulp) where you are a depressed man exploring the clouds. Eventually you get tools that let you traverse new areas. I like the overall vibes, but I did struggle to know when things would injure me or not (there were some sections where it was impossible not to hit lighting… and sometimes I would lose health and sometimes not), and using the propellor hat was weird because there was no visual cue for when you were using it.
21) Cooking for Crabtopia - A short little (pulp, I’m guessing?) game where you help your crab friends make a soup. There are a few different mini-games to collect the various ingredients. It only takes about 5 minutes, but it made me smile.
20) Rorschach - A funky little tool that lets you draw your own symmetrical ink blots using either the D-Pad or tilt controls. Wasn’t much there for me, but might be worth it for the more artistically gifted out there. If nothing else it can lend some inspiration for cool things you can make with the system.
19) Number One Fan - A puzzle platformer where you move a balloon around with multiple fans throughout a room. Works pretty well, but I got stuck on the second level and eventually gave up. Maybe my own fault, but that’s where we are. Also I got unreasonably mad at the fact that if the balloon’s string touches a spike the whole balloon pops. That’s not the relationship between string and balloon! Sorry. It’s a fun concept.
18) House - One of two games in this jam about a ghost solving a mystery. Weird. This one is a bit buggy (when you get the broken necklace it multiplies endlessly in your inventory) and I’m not sure if I actually finished it or not (I submitted a solution and the house just started shaking a lot, and I was unable to try solving again), but there was a lot of effort put into it and I do enjoy an adventure game.
17) Pappyshow - You control a man who is being mirrored and livestreaming it. You move and rotate him and his bodyparts to create various monstrous visions. There’s some element of gameplay here where your number of viewers goes up and down based on what you’re making him do, but I never quite figured out how that worked. Mostly it’s just a fun little kaleidoscope style toy, and the graphics are quite nice, but it only kept my attention for a few minutes. The game’s store page shows Pappy wearing a wig at one point, so it’s possible there’s a bit more depth in this game than I was able to find.
16) Masterworks Inc. - A very cool idea where you use the crank to draw a line and you have to try to match what is being drawn by the AI on the other side of the screen. Not a lot there and I was done with it in a few minutes, but a solid base concept. I was very bad at it. I did three play-throughs and never got out of the 300s.
15) Floaty McFloatface - Really only kept my attention for a few minutes, but the art was very nice. The controls are simple but also purposefully imprecise (I think?). I can see some people getting really into seeing how long they can stay afloat.
14) Reflektor Jam - Looks nice and the gameplay of rotating mirrors to redirect lasers was kind of fun. Maybe better suited to level based puzzles instead of the time attack type game that is here, but fun for a few minutes. I popped 30 balloons.
13) Lake Hero - Plenty of levels on this one if you enjoy the gameplay. It’s a simple “collect objects and don’t hit obstacles” kind of game. Could definitely be fleshed out into a fun game with some more time, but it is one of the few games here I didn’t finish because I eventually got frustrated.
12) Boatload - A claw-game style game where you pick up moving boxes and place them on moving ships. Drop three boxes and the game ends. The controls and gameplay on this felt very clean. Feels like it could be a mini-game within a larger game as-is. Adding some elements to add variety and difficulty, and maybe some levels instead of just a score-attack, could give this potential to be a full fledged game.
11) One Man Threat Ops - A top down shooter where you complete various single screen stages. I like that there was a variety in the objectives so each stage didn’t feel repetitive. I also like the idea of the two gun types, but in reality I couldn’t really get the bouncing or wall-floating-over mechanics to matter since the enemies moved so fast and usually only spawned when they were in your sight lines. Also the controls are pretty rough. The fact that B is move and A is shoot means that you can’t really shoot and move at the same time. That might be intentional, but I found it pretty frustrating.
10) Shield Arena - A pretty fun little game; sort of an inverse twin stick shooter where you move a shield with the crank to deflect bullets. Rough around the edges, but a lot of potential if the dev decides to keep working on it.
9) Montgolfier Test Flight - Very simple one-button style game, but the music and graphics are both beautiful and it feels responsive and snappy. Reminds me of a lot of flash games I burned many hours on in my youth (Dino Run, Rainbow Unicorn Attack, etc).
8) Siege of Syracuse - A classic defend the castle style game that also reminds me of a bunch of old flash games. You use the crank to direct a beam which burns and sinks ships as they come in. It’s a wave based system, and you choose upgrades between waves and try to survive through wave 7. Pretty short and nothing revolutionary, but solid and fun for 15-20 minutes. Also there’s a sweet intro narrated by Bruce Campbell (or maybe William Shatner?).
7) Prop of the Class - Maybe the most “complete” feeling game in the jam, with an opening cutscene, a cutscene for the tutorial, multiple save states, a name input screen, etc. Also plenty of levels if you’re into the gameplay. I made it about 15 levels in, but got a bit tired with it. If you like “lander” style games there could be a lot here for you.
6) Dragon Flagon - A cozy little game with impressive production values for such a short window. I didn’t find much to bring me back after one playthrough, but I’d be very interested in seeing more from this dev (after writing this I looked up the Dev and realized they made Reelistic Fishing, which was already my favorite game on the platform. Makes sense).
5) The Crystal Bay - There have been a few 3D style games on the system, but it’s very impressive to see one made so quickly. Took me a bit to figure out what I was doing, but I did eventually have a nice time exploring the map and finding those crystals.
4) Duck Game - Short, but a ton of work must have gone into this in such a brief window. The gameplay is really just experimenting with the number of ducks you can get to follow you to see all the endings (also just swimming around in order to see all the funny dialogue from the people standing in the pond, or listening to all the quack based parody songs). Kind of lovely.
3) Life’s too Short: On Reflection - I’m a sucker for bite-sized adventure games. This one is charming and very wholesome. I never played the original, but I’m going to make a point of it now. Was this made in pulp?
2) Jelly Float - A decidedly nifty little game. You use the crank to rotate a fish around a jellyfish, and then use B to blow the Jelly in the right direction without hitting walls or obstacles. There’s a sizable maze here, and I think I spent about a half hour with the game (there’s a timer at the end when you get the jelly back to its family, but I think that might have been off, or maybe reset when I hit the depths)? There are some genuinely difficult sections, but with enough checkpoints to never get into rage-game territory (not that that would be a bad thing).
1) Quack Magic - Probably the game here I would be most interested in seeing fleshed out into a full release. The gameplay is immediately rewarding and it looks great. There’s only a few levels and it finishes just as the puzzles are starting to get a bit challenging, but being left wanting more is pretty good for a game made in a few days.

There's this old bubble shooter match three game that I remember playing on my mom's phone. I don't remember much about the game other than the characters I used was always this green frog-like creature with eyes that stick out like antenna, and the bubbles are formed inside the creature's mouth.
As for the main menu music, I remember it having prominent beats that had a good deal of "bounce" to it.
I also remember the level I always played had a swamp-like background with a song that sounded a bit electric and was certainly a lot more fast paced than the other levels.
Not sure if this one will help, but I always called this game "whacka monsters", for some reason. I searched for that name, but I couldn't find it so I think I'm probably misremembering things.

Timestamp https://imgur.com/a/o9kI2ws
Highcom 4s17m Shooters Cut Multi Curve, 10x12, level 4 plates. Price: $385
Highcom 4s17m SAPI Cut Multi Curve, size M (9.5x12.5), level 4 plates. Price: $425
Bundle Price: $790
Both sets are manufactured 06/23 and have never been worn. Still in bubble wrap.
Will only be using PayPal G&S as I am new. All prices include shipping and PayPal G&S fee.

I enjoy Riven Legit. In this day and age, she has been power crept to hell that you can barely need to damage her on the third floor and end up in final stand without needing to do the Fall. But as someone masochistic enough to learn how to do Riven Legit, it’s really starting to bother me how many people call it complex. Have you done Exhibition from VoW? Have you stunned Caretaker (also from VoW)? Congrats, you have an idea on how to do Riven.
Let’s start off simple. Two teams of three: a Reader and Cleanser who trade positions on first and second floor (mechanical cooldown) and an Ad Clearer. Reader gets to hide nice and comfy behind an Awoken Glass Wall that enemies are usually too busy to go behind because there’s nice and juicy targets on the other side, a Cleanser who has an oopy goopy Void Bubble you get from killing a Taken Captain that they can shoot and use Grenade to cleanse with so you can go up the Awoken Lift to the next floor, and an Ad Clearer who better do their job on dealing with Solar snipers on the sides and general Taken chaff who spawn on the stairs and in the center.
Dealing damage to Riven/Ascending each floor is a two team effort: one side Stuns-Reads and then Cleanses; the other Cleanses, deals damage to her mouth like we’re cheesing with Linears and then shoots the TWO EYES that the Stun team calls out (not necessarily in that order). This will change sides when you go up a floor, so if you were Cleanse-Damage first floor, you become Stun-Read second and versa vice.
After two floors of Stun-Read(-Cleanse) and Cleanse-Damage, you are now back up top in the room you planted the banner in. Alongside a small squad of an ogre or so, two shielders, and a bunch of minions, Riven Transcendent Eyes Ivory Dragon will peek her head out four times, requiring a Stun-Read three times and then a nice big tiny damage phase before you have to shoot the 6 eyes that were called out (3 shooters, 2 eyes each), clear the room full of ads, and then find a plate to have a nice relaxing Feather Fall while you shoot at Riven’s Taken Pimples (just like Morgeth) while you listen to a tiny Phase 2 version of what we colloquially call Riven’s Theme (I'm sure the real title is lying around somewhere). In a sandbagging team, this is where the bulk of your damage will come from. Once you reach the ground, you start all over again. Congratulations, you now know Riven Legit.
But wait, you Lactose-Able Guardians say, you didn’t even teach us call outs and stuff or actual mechanics!
D’oy. Silly me. I got too focused on trying to be literarily fancy like my Warlock buddy tries to have me do that I forgot.
Be a Titan for Cleansing call outs. No ABCDEF 1-6, no Z2 X3, nadda. Once your Cleanser tells you what the three symbols in front of your Reader Pillar are (they’re all the same one per room) do Left/Right Stairs, Top/CenteStage, or Middle/CentePit (be consistent, clarify before you start), and then tack on a directional Left/Right/Top/Bottom i.e Left Stairs Middle. Cleansers, make sure YOU’RE FACING THE SAME WAY as your Reader so your Left is the same as their Left; no Thespian stage right, make this nice and simple. Get to the general spot, double check with your Reader, and if they tell you left/right/down one, move as needed and double check again. Once they confirm you’re in the right spot, Grenade/Cleanse, deal some damage and pop some eyes, head up the next floor.
Stun Team, you are either hanging out relatively close to Riven so she tries to spear you with one of her neck tentacles OR you are standing out in view of her with something to hide behind nearby so she can try and Dragon Breath you (remember Witch Queen when she made an appearance? Exactly that). You have about three attempts before you have to take the next stun otherwise you lose out on Read and subsequently wipe, so take your time and survive. After a Tentacle Jab, blow some Heavy Ammo to tell her Bad Girl, then call out the white eyes (Left 1-5, Right 1-5, going left to right. No outside-in here, Left 5 is right next Right 1; can change your notation to a Z pattern or whatever your flavour is, just have everyone on board). If she’s blowing stanky morning breath on you, once it’s safe just shoot her mouth orb with some Heavy and then call out her white eyes. After you Stun-Read, do your cleanse so you can open up the Awoken Lift and then immediately start on your Cleanse if that’s how your team rolls.
Some personal advice? Let Cleanse-Damage team do their cleanse first. Once you Stun-Read you send Riven to the other side, unless that’s how your team rolls, you might accidentally have Riven smush someone under her foot. Also, for Third Floor’s 6 Eyes, assign a shooter to each pair of 2. So first call out gets L1-R4, second has R3-R5, third handles L4-R1. A single sniper shot of any kind (with Boss/Taken Spec?) should handle it easily. Also-also, during first and second floor, have one person handle leftmost eye, the other person handle rightmost. Shaxx’s most favorite Guardian could probably handle both eyes on their own, but why put all that pressure on one single person when you can share the load? You have about a full 4ttc Cataclysmic mag (maybe minus one shot) to deal damage to Riven anyway, so no need to panic.
So, to sum up (my ideal way): A: Cleanse > B: Stun-Read-Cleanse > A: Damage. Next floor > B: Cleanse > A: Stun-Read-Cleanse > B: Damage. Next Floor > Ad Birthday Party each Stun-Read > Stun-Read 1 > Stun-Read 2 > Stun-Read 3 > Damage + Eyes > Ad Clean Up > Fall. Damage Blight Moles as you fall > Loop.
Congratulations, you now know Riven Legit. Don’t forget to pack your Golden Gun, and hide away your explosive ammunition, those eyes can be sensitive.
p.s. This is for normal mode. I don't know how they'll modify Pantheon, but I'm personally hoping for a Tormenter on first and second floor after you Stun. If there's a Tormenter after each Stun on third floor, I'm going to ugly cry.
p.p.s Before you drop down, you can totally use the various stairs around the third floor as a visual aid for those not practiced/in the know. I prefer the stairs immediately clockwise from the banner since there's an off center pillar you can use for 'Reading'.

Would this story be acceptable for plausibility? If we say, "I made it out of there by ascending the silver spire" or whatever, and that it is a memory, does that suffice? The part 1 is below

I died and went to Hell. Next to the Lake of Blood, I found a list of rules [part 1]

Throughout my life, I was always a piece of shit. From an early age, I joined a gang and started selling drugs. Anything from weed to heroin to crack sold itself, but on the unforgiving streets of the city, a single mistake could be fatal. I always carried a cheap burner pistol that I could throw away after using it. I know quite a few friends and acquaintances who died from drugs I sold them- some overdosing, others crashing their cars while high. A couple of them committed suicide during opiate withdrawals. One got cut in half by a train while nodding off.
But by seventeen, I had committed my first confirmed murder- a rival gang member and drug dealer who pulled a gun on me first. I had probably killed people before, but I never watched the news after a shooting or a stabbing to see the result. I wasn’t interested in the slightest.
In this case, I had just been slightly quicker than my rival and, a fraction of a second later, his forehead imploded like a smashed pumpkin in front of me, spraying bone splinters and brains all over the sidewalk. He stumbled forward a step before falling forward. His pistol went off in his dying hand, but it went low, the bullet disappearing with a crack into the nearby street. He fell forward with a dull thud, his legs kicking as if he were seizing.
The sidewalk of the dead end street we stood on spun around me for a moment. The many abandoned, rotting houses of the city loomed over us like hanging corpses. My ears gave a high-pitched shriek of tinnitus from the gunshots.
Nervous, I looked up and down the side street. The entire place seemed silent and dead. Then I heard voices nearby and saw lights turning on in the front yards and windows of houses. Without a moment of hesitation, I took off, sprinting blindly away from the crime scene, not caring much where I was going. Someone a few houses down came out, an old black man in his boxers and slippers. He saw me running and called out something in a quavering voice. I didn’t slow down for a moment.
Not long after, I heard the wailing of sirens off in the distance. They were drawing closer by the second. When the street abruptly ended in a cul-de-sac of mostly abandoned and dilapidated houses, I chose one at random and cut across its back yard, jumped over the rusted metal fence and kept on running, cutting across random yards and jumping more fences until I started making my way back towards downtown.
After about five minutes, I got to a street with a lot more traffic and people. Covered in sweat, I walked casually back towards my tiny, cockroach-infested apartment.
I thought I had gotten away with it. I thought I had been able to kill this worthless scumbag without anyone noticing. But there were more eyes glittering behind the veil than I realized at that moment.
I went back home- and that was the night I died and went to Hell.
***
I lived on the first floor in a building with falling-down rafters and a flat black roof like an infected scab. The paint on the outside was the color of vomit, the windows cracked and broken. Moreover, the place always smelled like Mexican food and chemicals, and every night, I would hear gunshots and panicked screams outside.
I sat down at the table and opened a beer. The ancient CRT TV was on, showing some old horror movie from the 1970s. I took a deep breath, relieved. I didn’t expect a thing to happen at that moment.
Suddenly, my door burst open as if someone had fired a cannonball at it. I nearly jumped out of my skin. Standing there, I saw a dozen black police in SWAT gear holding rifles. The laser sights jumped and danced across the floor before they converged on my head and chest. Someone screamed something in a hoarse voice, but I didn’t understand. The words sounded garbled, like the whispering of a demon. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.
I fell back in my chair in surprise. A single breath later, one of them opened fire. I felt the first bullet crash through my left shoulder, felt the bone shatter and the flesh explode behind it, warm blood running down my back and chest.
The next moment, others joined in. I didn’t feel the bullet that smashed into my head and sent me to Hell. It moved fast, faster than my nerves. It must have moved as fast as death itself.
The blackness descended on me like a cloud.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. It seemed like an eternity, full of freezing darkness and screams that came from everywhere and nowhere. I remember coming awake suddenly, standing before a face formed from blinding white light. I was healed without any signs of wound or blood from the gunshots. I found myself standing naked and alone in the freezing winds.
I was shivering, my arms wrapped protectively around my chest as I stood on a flat plain of cracked, gray stone. The wind whipped around me as if I were in a hurricane, blowing sand and dust across the eternal plains. The features of the endless face constantly melted and shifted, spiraling out with bolts of lightning that cracked and sizzled all around the hurricane of light. The face seemed to stand miles high with eyes that spun like the Sun.
“Where am I?” I whispered in terror. The face of infinite light stared down at me with a blinding intensity. It seemed to see every thought, every feeling, every memory. I could feel it looking through me as if I were glass.
“You are in the Bardo,” the being said in a voice like an exploding nuclear bomb. “I am the one who sees. I am GOD, the creator of the universe and all who live within it. In the end, to Me you will always return. Did you not know you would one day have to stand here?” I shook my head.
“No… I… I…” I stuttered in terror, unable to respond.
“I have seen your evil, for indeed, I am closer to you than your own jugular vein, your own heart. Did you not see the suffering of those who harmed the innocent, those who murdered and stole and lived their lives wallowing in filth? Did you not see them get wounded, shot, stabbed, strangled and imprisoned? Did you not see them die in their evil and return to Me?”
“I did,” I admitted. “Many times.”
“And yet you have fallen into the sickness yourself,” God said in a voice like a rushing waterfall. Fury and anger seemed to seethe from him. Dozens of bolts of lightning flashed out from all sides of that radiant face. “For this, you must be purified. Your soul must be cleansed with fire. For that is the fate of those who harm the innocent- they fall down to the bottomless pit, to the blazing inferno whose fuel is men and stones. The flames eat them all greedily, and then the fires cry out to Me for more.”
My body felt like it was covered with stinging hornets. Excruciating pins and needles ran all up and down my legs and arms. I looked down, seeing a swirling dark hole opening up underneath me in the field of gray stone, spitting out drops of liquid blackness. They splashed upwards, burning through my skin like napalm, but no blood came out. It was as if my body were dissolving into dripping shadows that pulled me downwards. I felt myself slowly falling through the eternal stone plain as unseen hands dragged me away. As I descended, I heard the voice of God one last time.
“Down into the pit you will go, to the valley of wailing and the lake of flames where the damned scream for peace that never comes, to the city of shadows, to Naraka…”
***
Beneath me, the shadowy tunnel descended. I fell through it like lightning. Everything spun around me at an incredible speed. Suddenly, I broke through something, some invisible barrier in the endless darkness. I found myself falling through a cloud of suffocating smoke, and then the world opened up all around me.
A blood-red sky with thick black clouds extended out in all directions. I glimpsed a world of sharp cliffs and rivers of lava that wound their way down mountains of obsidian.
I fell through the middle of the sky at a tremendous speed, the wind whipping around my ears like a hurricane. A scream ripped its way out of my throat, but I was traveling so fast I could barely hear it as the echoes disappeared above me. Below me was what looked like a massive lake filled with blood about half a mile wide, and it was coming up to meet me fast. Many struggling bodies writhed in the currents, trying to claw their way out. I crashed through the surface at an incredible speed, going deep under the warm crimson waves.
The bloody water of the lake filled my mouth and nose with the overwhelming taste of copper and iron. I started trying to swim back up to the surface, frantically kicking and pushing with my arms and legs. I opened my eyes, and the salty blood stung them. It looked like I was peering through a translucent red film into a world of deep-sea abominations. Long snakes with two heads swam all around me, snapping and biting at each other and any legs or arms nearby. I saw them drag people down one by one, wrapping their slick bodies around their struggling victims as they drowned.
I broke through the surface, inhaling deeply. I was worried about the snakes and whatever else was slinking around down there. Thousands of people treaded water in the massive lake, trying to make their way to the shores. The nearest person to me was only ten feet away, a young woman with panicked eyes and wavy black hair. As I watched her, she gave a scream of terror and then was dragged under the surface, struggling and kicking. She never reappeared.
All around me, I smelled the fetid rot of decaying bodies. There must have been thousands and thousands of corpses at the bottom of this bloody lake. Some of them floated on top of the surface, rancid and swollen, their sightless eyes staring up at the fiery sky. The surface of the lake constantly bubbled and writhed, though whether this was from the rotting of so many bodies or from hidden monsters breathing under the surface, I didn’t yet know.
Frantically, I looked around for the nearest shore to get out of the danger. I saw that if I swam past the direction where the young woman had been, I would only have to go about two hundred feet. But my heart hammered in my chest as I remembered her being dragged under, her frantic, panicked struggling. What if the same creature was waiting over there, waiting for someone like me to try to swim over?
There were dozens more people between me and the nearest shore. Most of them climbed out, dripping drops of crimson onto the black volcanic sands of the beaches. I made my way as fast as I could in that direction, deciding to take my chances with the snakes. Otherwise, I would have to swim at least four times as far to get to the next nearest beach, which also swarmed with masses of naked people clawing their way out of the bloody lake.
A small group of people was concentrated only twenty feet away, three men who were swimming in the same direction I was. One started screaming suddenly. A purple tentacle the color of an old bruise broke through the surface of the water. To my horror, I saw it had black spikes that clicked and clacked together all along its massive arms. The spikes resembled long, hollow hypodermic needles.
The screaming man tried to swim in the opposite direction, but the tentacle wrapped around him, pulling him above the water. It tightened like a boa constrictor, the black spikes stabbing into his chest and stomach. Countless punctures opened up all along his body. The black spikes flexed, and his ribcage ripped open with a wet, ripping sound. The man’s screams abruptly cut off as his head lolled. With a sucking sound, the hollow spikes began drinking, consuming the man’s spurting blood with a sound like an inhalation of air. Slowly, almost lazily, the tentacle began dragging his limp corpse under the surface, back towards the main body of whatever monstrosity it belonged to.
The other two gave panicked sobs as more purple tentacles broke through the surface of the lake. Frantically, I started swimming around them, giving them a wide berth. Within seconds, the other two men were dragged under, deep stab wounds opening in their bodies as the hollow spikes drank greedily with loud sucking sounds.
“Fuck!” I cried, horrified. I felt something brush past my leg, something slimy and eel-like that writhed and slithered under the opaque crimson surface. In horror, I felt its slimy skin wrap around my leg, at first loosely slithering, then tightening. Two black faces with white, lidless eyes rose out of the water, the faces of serpents with fangs like switchblades. I saw both heads were connected to a single slithering body, one that wrapped slowly around my legs and arms, strangling me. Screaming, I felt its fangs dig into my neck. As the twin pairs of lidless white eyes stared at me, I tried to fight, tried to raise my arm, but it was far too strong. It dragged me under the surface.
Struggling against the beast, feeling its poison coursing through my bloodstream like lava, I drowned in the lake of blood. The experience of drowning is horrifying beyond all measure- the overwhelming fear and anxiety when you realize you have no air, the sensation of inhaling the bloody water, the sensation of dying. My vision turned black as a suffocating, clenching fist squeezed my heart. It felt like it took an eternity, but it was probably only a couple minutes at most. Death came over me then, cold and filled with small, suffocating agonies. That was the first time I died in Hell, but it would not be my last.
For in Hell, as I quickly learned, you never truly died, but were just thrown back to the beginning.
***
I felt myself falling again through the black clouds, the Lake of Blood beneath me. It all repeated like before. I screamed as I fell through the water at an incredible speed. Eldritch monstrosities were dragging people under the surface all around me. As quickly as I could, I swam towards the nearest shore. I dared not look down, didn’t dare slow for a single moment. A few times, I was nearly swiped by large, writhing tentacles, but they found other shrieking victims nearby to my immense relief.
I didn’t want to die ever again. It was a horrible sensation, though one that I would, sadly, become used to. Death followed me like a shadow, and starting over in Hell was always a nightmare.
I gave a gasp of joy when my feet touched bottom. Running through the rippling currents of blood, naked and gasping, I came upon the black sands of the shore. Looking around the lake, I saw there were four beaches, seemingly placed at each point of the compass underneath the spinning, blood-red sky.
At the end of each of the black sands lay a sparkling silver gate fifty feet tall and hundreds of feet across. The thin strands of silver intertwined like the fine filaments of a spiderweb, spiraling around each other in graceful, curving arches. Embossed over the top were the words, “ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE.” No one seemed to pay the gate any mind. Naked crowds of struggling people stumbled through it onto the streets of Hell, streets that were paved with human bones and stretched off to the horizon.
Skyscrapers made of obsidian with spiraling windows like the murderholes of a castle stretched hundreds of stories up into the blood-red sky. As I staggered out, pressed body to body in the thick crowd of crying, wailing people, I saw ahead of us the second mortal danger of Hell.
There were countless gangs of mostly men gathered on the streets of bone, the desperate soldiers of this apocalyptic wasteland. They huddled together in groups of ten or twelve, attacking and murdering random people who tried to sprint past from the Lake of Blood. They wore crude leather tunics and pants that looked like they were made from human skin. Some wore crude masks of human skin on their faces, ragged patches of flesh that had been cut from the bodies of the dead. They stared out with cold, emotionless eyes through the holes in the dried, leathery skin, surveying the surging crowds like lions surveying their prey.
They held primitive weapons in their hands, clubs and maces made from bone, swords sharpened from obsidian glass and even wooden spears. The wood looked strange and dark, almost like mahogany. Next to them were fires with sharpened spits of roasting human meat. The fat dripped off the dismembered arms and legs sizzling over the flames. It gave off a smell like roast pork that permeated the area, rising up in thick, fragrant clouds.
I followed the surging crowds, watching in horror as the groups of armed men attacked and killed random passersby in the crowd, dragging their limp bodies next to the fires where they stacked the unconscious or dead people in stacks like cordwood. I figured they would inevitably roast their flesh for food or make pale leather armor from their dead skin. I felt myself being pushed over in the direction of the nearest group of armed thugs. A few of the nearest men wore masks made of people’s faces, though those behind them did not, only wearing the crude leather armor instead.
One of them standing only ten feet away met my eyes, his cold killer’s gaze boring through me. The mask of skin made him look like some monster from a horror movie, with its ragged, mutilated edges and garish black stitches. He took a step towards me, raising a short spear made from a human leg bone and sharpened to a blood-stained point.
In panic, I looked around, seeing a young woman in her early twenties standing next to me. She was looking straight ahead with panic and terror in her eyes, not paying any attention to me or the men that crept towards us. With all of my strength, I shoved the woman towards the masked killer. She stumbled back in surprise, falling into the man’s weapon. His bone spear stabbed through her stomach. She looked down at her naked body in horror when the point emerged from her navel, dripping rivers of blood down her trembling legs. As she spit up trickles of blood and collapsed to her knees, I ran. A sickening crack rang out behind me like a shattering of bones, and I knew they had murdered the young woman.
I sprinted away from the gangs of cannibal killers as fast as I could, which wasn’t very fast considering how many naked, screaming bodies pressed in all on me from all sides. I felt myself being carried forward by the surging masses towards the silver gate. Hanging from the delicate silver threads, I saw signs written in many languages. I found one in English and started reading it with rapt attention, even as I was relentlessly pushed forward and elbowed and kicked.
I still remember what it said by heart.
“Rules for Naraka:

Those who are damned will be fed from the fountain of life. GOD will ensure your rebirth at the Lake of Blood. Though death may crush you over and over, there will be no rest.
Stay away from the Screamers, the faceless ones who roam the land. Those who are taken by the Screamers will know endless torment and madness in the caverns deep under the ground.
When the sirens in the center of Naraka wail, the firestorms are coming. Seek shelter immediately.
Those rare ones who ascend the silver spire at the end of Naraka may find salvation, even in the city of shadows.”

As I was pushed forward, I read the sharp, copperplate engraving scrawled across the silver signs in glowing red letters, trying to memorize every single word. At the time, none of it made much sense, but I instinctively felt that it was immensely important in some way I didn’t yet understand.
Immediately outside the gate, the beach turned into a road paved with bones. Leg bones and arm bones were laid side by side, yellowing and drying under the dark crimson sky. Skulls embedded in the center of the road grinned up at me, laughing at silent secrets I could never hope to comprehend.
Naked and barefoot, I sprinted down the road of bones between massive skyscrapers of black obsidian and gleaming red volcanic rock. People started to thin as the survivors scattered in all directions. I felt the sharp points of bone stabbing into the soles of my feet.
That was the moment the sirens began their eerie wailing, rising and falling in a dissonant cacophony, slower and deeper than any tornado siren I had ever heard. It sounded almost like a whale call, stretching out over the infernal city. They sounded from all around us, seemingly ringing out from thousands of speakers hidden throughout the obsidian towers.
I looked up suddenly. The crimson sky had changed rapidly, forming into a cyclone that swirled overhead in great black and red spirals. It met in a fiery eye at the center. As I looked up, I saw glowing orange hail soaring through the air, leaving behind streaks like thousands of comets. It fell towards the naked masses of tens of thousands of bodies pressed together on the streets.
At that moment, I remembered the rules. Some of the others apparently hadn’t read them during the panic and horror of the escape from the Lake of Blood, and they continued surging forward down the road as fire began to fall like drops of napalm all around us. Wails of agony rose up from those who were covered in the glowing lava. The people in the front of the crowd immediately fell under the heat and destruction of the firestorm. Their hair lit on fire, their skin melted and blackened, and still more fire rained down from the sky, sweeping relentlessly in our direction.
I saw an obsidian skyscraper with a great, open archway only a couple hundred feet away. The nearest of the crowd scrambled to find cover under the safety of the building. I sprinted along with them. As I reached the threshold, I felt the first burning drops of magma land on my back. I screamed as I smelled my own skin cooking and my own hair burning, and then I was through the archway. I fell, rolling on my back, trying to put out the sizzling fires that burned me like some corrosive acid.
I felt rivers of warm blood running down my back as more people ran past me, deeper into the hall. The skyscraper was massive, not only in height but in width. The hallway ran for hundreds of feet, disappearing into doorless thresholds on both sides cleaved out of the obsidian, as if the entire structure had been carved from one enormous piece of glassy stone. In the center of the hallway, it opened up into a spiraling staircase.
I looked up abruptly to see three men wearing masks made of human skin standing over me, each holding primitive bone spears in their filthy, blood-stained hands. They looked emaciated, wasted away, like the walking corpses of a death camp. To my utter astonishment, even through the layer of dried, ragged skin, I recognized one of them. It was in his gray eyes, and the twisting dragon tattoos that covered his arms and chest instantly brought a flash of memory.
“Shooter,” I said as they raised their weapons. “Shooter, it’s me. Remember me? It’s Richie.” He froze in place, looking down at me with widening eyes.
“Holy shit, Richie?” he said, tearing the mask off. “What are you doing here?” It was an absurd question, of course. What were any of us doing here?
The last time I had seen Shooter, he had been sitting a pile of blood in his car. He was one of the designated gunman for the Solid Ones, the gang we had both joined when we were young. The amazing luck of finding another Solid in this place of death was astounding. But, then again, I had known many people who had died, and I had a feeling the vast majority were here somewhere.
“I guess I died,” I said sheepishly, giving him a faint half-smile. The other two men standing by his side lowered their weapons. “Fucking pigs came in and shot me.”
“Ah, yeah,” he said, unsurprised. “They do have a tendency to do that.” He gave a low laugh. I took a long look at Shooter, who was wearing the pale skin of some unknown victim or victims of this place of agony. He reached a trembling hand down and pulled me up from the smooth surface of this strange skyscraper. More naked, scared people continued to stream past us as the sirens continued their infernal shrieking outside. Many of them had horrific burns all over their body, and a few were clearly on the verge of death by the time they had made it inside.
Farther down the hall, another ten men wearing the same garb as Shooter came towards us, holding sharpened swords of obsidian and thick clubs made of bone. Shooter put his hands up.
“Hey, I know this guy,” he said calmly, motioning over to me with an apathetic wave of his head. “He was in the same gang as me! We used to go around having a great time, I’ll tell you. Remember that time we shot at that cop and he pissed himself?” He gave a racuous laugh at that. I smiled as the memory flooded back. Shooter had definitely hit him, though I think I probably missed. I remembered the blood soaking over the arm of cop’s uniform as he lay there, gasping and turning white, his face looking bloodless and shocked. Shooter and I had run away, high-fiving each other and grinning like maniacs.
“Yeah, I do,” I said, grinning. The other men surrounded me in a semi-circle. Shooter knelt down and extended a hand to me, helping me off the ground.
“Well, you’re in good company,” he said. “Here, we can do whatever the fuck we want. What’s going to happen, after all? It’s not like we can be sent to Hell.” He laughed, and that laughter writhed with the insanity and bloodlust that seemed to be eating him from the inside like a cancer.
***
“We still need to take him to the Sergeant,” one of the masked men next to Shooter said. “We can see if he has the right stuff needed to fight with us.”
“What happens when you guys die?” I asked. “I mean, obviously, you restart at the Lake of Blood, but how do you find your way back to your gang?” Shooter shrugged.
“We always find each other again eventually,” he said. “It’s not like there’s any lack of time here. All we have is time- and fresh meat, of course. There’s always more fresh meat streaming in through the Lake of Blood. We can take whatever we need from them…” The wailing of the sirens suddenly ended as he spoke. I looked around, seeing burnt and dying people still struggling into the front hallway of the skyscraper. The smell of burning hair and searing flesh filled the entire area.
“Come on,” one of the men said. His voice was gruff, as if he had been chainsmoking five packs a day since he was a little kid. “The Sergeant is on the top floor. You’ll have to talk to him.” I nodded, knowing they would certainly kill me if I did not join their group.
But at that moment, something much worse than dying, blackened bodies crawled in through the archway. I saw it before the group of men did. Instinctively upon glimpsing it, I knew it was something terrible, something that could only live in the depths of a psychotic’s nightmare.
It stood nearly ten feet tall. Its skin was as pale as a writhing maggot. On its hairless face, I saw no eyes, no nose, no ears, just smooth, bone-white skin. It had thin lips tied together with black thread, the garish stitches poking out from the ragged, bloodless flesh. Its arms and legs looked inhumanly long and thin. Its ribs and spine jutted out as if it were a starving, rabid animal. From all around its body, an inhuman wailing started, as if dozens of demonic voices were shrieking in unison. Yet its mouth stayed firmly closed, still stitched shut.
Its fingers jutted out like railroad spikes, each a foot long. As its screaming intensified, it ran towards us, crushing the dying and injured under its naked, twisted feet. I stared into its pale, bloodless face, and even though it had no eyes, it felt like it stared straight back at me, looking into my soul.
“Don’t look at it!” Shooter screamed next to me, turning his face away. The rest of the men closed their eyes or turned away, backpedaling away from the abomination. “It will take on the shape of what you fear most! It’s a Screamer!” But it was too late. At that moment, something strange happened to the pale, naked body of the Screamer. It rippled like a mirage sizzling off the sands of a desert. Its body squeezed and contorted as the distorted shrieking around its pale, naked body grew louder and more insane.
Thin stalks of black, spidery legs began jutting out of the sides of its chest. Its face melted like wax as glittering compound eyes sprouted from the top of its head. Within seconds, it had turned into a massive spider, a black widow whose head nearly scraped the ceiling twenty feet above us. The red hourglass on its back shone brightly, as if in reminder of the imminent death it brought to anyone it touched.
I hate spiders. I’ve always hated spiders. When I saw that skittering, crawling monstrosity, something in me broke. I sprinted towards the group of men who were trying to do their best to escape without looking directly at the Screamer, hoping that the spider would choose one of them instead of me. But I heard its massive bulk following closely behind me. I could feel its insectile breath on the back of my neck.
Naked and frantic, I sprinted behind the nearest of the men and used the same tactic I had used escaping through the silver gate: I pushed the unsuspecting figure towards the abomination that rushed towards us in a blur, its eight legs pounding the glassy floor with reverberating thuds.
Drops of clear venom dripped from its fangs as it grabbed the struggling man. It bit deeply into his leg, and as the venom dripped onto his skin, it seemed to eat through his flesh like some sort of acid. The man screamed as red streaks rapidly spread up his leg throughout the rest of his body. His teeth began chattering and his pupils dilated as he stared at me accusingly. But he did not die.
The spider grabbed him and dragged him away down the hallway, down to wherever the victims of the Screamers go. I saw a dozen more of the pale, faceless monstrosities rushing in to take his place. The men looked up, and the Screamers erupted into monstrous shapes: giant, slithering snakes, a floating eyeball with black, squid-like tentacles writhing around its central mass, enormous brown recluses and black widows and faceless Grim Reapers who floated over the ground in black robes. The overwhelming sense of fear and panic I felt at that moment still stays with me to this day, and even though this happened a couple days ago and I did eventually make it out of that den of horrors, it still leaves a deep scar across my mind.
As visions from a nightmare approached us, I turned and ran.

First - Previous - Anchor Points: Uplift - Patreon
CHAPTER 8 – INVERSION
DATE: FEBRUARY 15th, 7 A.U. (AFTER UNIFICATION) LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL, BLACK SITE S33
LIEUTENANT PAUL KARST
Today was the day.
After six weeks of endless, repetitive drilling, mock fleet exercises, and obsessive systems testing, Henry had finally given his certification that they were ready for launch. A few rogue technical and electrical issues had been sorted out as well in that time, and they'd been fully provisioned. They were as ready as they could be, and there was a strong positive energy on board.
“Helm, get us disengaged and ready to move out once STC gives the all-clear. Navigation, I need those drift charts.” Henry commanded, looking very much at home as he leaned against the railing overlooking the rest of the CIC.
“Aye, captain!”
The past six weeks had done little to improve their working relationship, though Paul cared little for such trivialities. So long as Henry respected his authority and counsel, they didn’t need to be buddy-buddy. The crew, at least, had really come together as a team in the constant drills and stress of the past weeks. Even Paul had to begrudgingly respect the end results of Henry’s application of 'strict standards, consistent discipline, and intimidating work ethic'. Paul chuckled at the way the words admiral Young had written in Henry's dossier had borne fruit before his eyes. The way many of the junior officers practically worshiped the man made Paul sick to his stomach, but the results spoke for themselves.
They may love him, but I wont be bending the knee or kissing his ass any time soon. Paul snorted, in spite of himself.
He shifted his step as his mass senses flared up to indicate someone approached from behind him.
"I finished my reading, sir. What would you have me do next?" The annoying one spoke.
The newest bane to Paul’s existence was Ensign Preston Jenkins. Henry had unceremoniously dropped the kid on his staff after Paul had requested an aide. Jenkins had decent combat marks and proficiency scores, but he had failed to fit in amongst any of the various commands. He was an insufferable know it all, a history nerd, and an unrepentant people pleaser. The combination made Paul physically ill. Thus, he responded the only way he knew how; with a relentless effort to whip the poor sod into shape using his favorite tactic of all; the liberal application of vicious mockery.
“Did you hear what I said?” Jenkins asked.
“No, but to be fair I usually just tune you out anyway.” Paul replied, coming back into the conversation.
He could see it all over his face that Jenkins took that one to heart. Yikes.. Guess I'd better do something about that.
“...but I'm sure that you are used to the signs of that by this stage in your life, anyway.” Paul said, with a twist of the knife.
“Leave the kid alone, Paul. I know you might see a lot of your own worst in him, but the reality is that he's a good kid whom you're projecting your neuroses onto. You? No hope left for redemption; Jenkins at least has a shot.” Henry snorted.
The minimization boiled Paul’s blood, not that he would give him the satisfaction of a visible reaction.
“Then again, if he hangs around you too much maybe there won’t be any hope for him after all. You do you, Ensign, don’t let this bad attitude get you down, and don't let it rub off on you. Remember, the only person he hates more than you is himself.” Henry said, in fine form.
Then again, perhaps respect for my authority might be a little too much to ask from Captain O’Toole...
He'd created a monster, and he himself was mostly to blame by being so hard on Henry from the start. Unwilling to let this one go unanswered, he prepared himself for a witty response.
“Captain, STC has updated the asteroid drift charts for us and has given the all-clear to launch. The doors are open, you just have to give the order.” Their helmsman interrupted.
“Excellent, Helm, release the docking clamps and take us on out of here. Navigation, plot us a course to the nearest bend of the gravitational superhighway to begin our first official in-system FTL test." Henry replied before he turned to activate the ship-wide comms.
"Thank you, everyone for your hard work these past six weeks. I'm beyond proud of all of you. Like the explorer's of old, we venture forth into both danger and discovery. This is what we as a species do best, and I couldn't ask for a better crew to share this journey with! Today we set sail on the sea of stars, carrying that ancient drive to explore and expand with us into our last and largest frontier. Today, we make our first steps towards ensuring mankind has a future. No matter what comes, we are ready to face it together! Now go and make us proud.”
A rousing cheer could be heard throughout the CIC. Paul resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead viewed the man’s charisma and leadership skills through a more pragmatic lens, rather than trying to compare it to his own abilities. They'd certainly picked the right man for the job, so why did it taste so sour to him?
The next hours passed quickly as they accelerated ever faster away from the gravitational pull of Neptune and out of the Kuiper belt at an even one and a half gees.
“Approaching the closest bend in the gravitational superhighway, correcting inclination to the direction of the stream.” A-shift's helmsman reported.
“Perfect, Helm, prepare to merge us into the stream. Engineering, warm up the null barrier system, be ready to invert the effect on my command." The Captain ordered.
"Aye, aye, Captain! Barrier is ready."
"Captain, we're in the stream, sir."
"Raise barrier!” Henry shouted.
The exterior camera feeds went dark as the outside light was cut off by the null barrier flowing around them.
“Invert now!” The display began to blare a warning of rapid heat buildup in the barrier system.
The forward tear in spacetime that fed their null barrier was forcibly widened to allow their ship to slip through the baryonic barrier into a river of pure null matter flowing within the higher fifth dimension.
“Hell yes! We're in!” Henry shouted, after looking over all the relevant displays to confirm.
They were officially riding the expansion of the universe inside a baryonic bubble, much like an air bubble carried in a current through a vast cosmic ocean.
“Fist of the Argonauts, you're clear to launch when ready. Remember, you will be our eyes and ears out there, so stay vigilant.” Henry said.
Moments later, the Indomitable Will shuddered as the Fist of the Argonauts launched from her saddle and accelerated into the stream ahead.
“So how are we supposed to navigate in here again?” Jenkins broke the silence.
Off to their side, Chantal practically bounced on her heels in excitement to answer.
“We can read the vibrational feedback from the inside edge of the baryonic bubble to determine incoming shadow hazards. Many of our active sensors still work with minimal distortions as well. For the most part we simply need to ride in the center of one of the currents and we will be fine. These currents flow along the same pathways as the gravitational superhighway, which we have already mapped with mathematical models throughout the whole solar system.” Chantal replied.
It may not have been her precise area of expertise, but at least she was familiar enough with the matter to explain the concepts in a language that at least sounded like English.
“Whoa, cool! As above, so below. Makes total sense. So long as we stick to the gravitational superhighway we should be good, then?” Jenkins asked.
“Yeah, we just gotta watch for disturbances that might indicate smaller shadow masses caught in the flow. The negative mass pressure means it naturally flows between and around the gravity wells of large objects, so its really just the smaller masses that could be an issue.” Chantal replied cheerfully.
“Oh, that doesn’t sound so bad. What’s a shadow mass?” Jenkins asked.
“Oh, right! It's a fifth dimensional imprint made by a three dimensional object on the other side of the baryonic barrier casting a shadow into the higher dimensions through gravity. We weren’t entirely sure what form they would take, originally. One disturbing hypothesis was they'd manifest in the form of exact mirror masses made of pure antimatter. Ultimately, that was proven when we tested the system before this trip.”
“Pure antimatter?” Jenkins face suddenly went white along with half the crew in earshot. “We wouldn’t happen to have an anti-antimatter shield of some type, would we?”
“No, silly, there's no way to shield against an antimatter collision out here. Well... at least without photonic shields or some other sci fi tech we haven’t invented yet. For the most part, small particles of any type will be deflected out of our way by the surface tension at the edge of the baryonic bubble, we will just have to watch carefully for the larger bits which could potentially break through. We'll have plenty of time to dodge at least, thanks to collision warnings sent from the Fist of the Argonauts up ahead. Since they're smaller and more agile, their risk was determined to be much more manageable. That's part of the reason we're capping the acceleration rates while we're still collecting data to feed to the computers. That way, we can verify the data continues to match the predictions from the model and work to refine it if necessary.”
“Can we please go back to normal reality now?” Jenkins said, with an edge of panic in his voice. “We did our test; I would rather not play antimatter chicken any longer than I have to.”
“Nah. The Fist of the Argonauts is the one truly playing antimatter chicken. We'll have plenty of warning if we need to dodge. We do have a Q-Comm link to them, after all. We can also use the point defense lasers to help deflect antimatter, as photons can interact with and exert pressure without sparking annihilation. We don't need to destroy it, we simply need to dodge or deflect it.” Chantal said, radiating calm.
Jenkins still seemed unsure, while Paul wished he had popcorn. Henry walked over and clapped the junior officer on the shoulder.
“Ensign, you heard the doctor, we're well prepared for that probability. The Inversion FTL drive test will continue until we reach the Oort cloud, as planned. Once there, we'll dump heat into some asteroids and take on water before making the long push to Alpha Centauri. We're traveling only marginally faster than the speed of light so long as we remain inside the heliopause. The expansion of the universe runs faster in the voids between galaxies than it does within the voids between stars, and it slows to match the speed of light within solar systems. As we continue to accelerate into this stream, we will gradually reach many multiples of the speed of light in equivalent travel time. Without the infinite energy requirements to breach the speed of light that's imposed by the time layer in the third dimension, we can accelerate constantly without a hard speed limit through these streams. Think of it like a bit of turbulence in air travel. The risks have been managed and safeguards are in place.”
Jenkins seemed to take Henry’s words in stride and to calm down notably. Thankfully, the other crew that had been verging on panic also seemed to accept his confidence in the situation as their own for the most part, though there were still some nervous whispers about. Paul studied him thoroughly in moments like these, eager to learn the secret behind his charisma so he could apply it to himself.
“Fleetwide directive; Attention all hands, I am proud to report that we have successfully entered FTL! We are currently enclosed in a river of null matter outside of our home dimension, protected by a tiny bubble of spacetime and by the ingenuity of mankind. This ship and this crew are ready for this challenge, and we will face it boldly together. Over the next several months, we will accelerate up to seven times the speed of light and back down again to cross the two light years between the Kuiper belt and the inner Oort cloud. We will then take on water and set off for Proxima Centauri.”
“So much tasty data! This is so exciting!” Chantal positively beamed.
“Just make sure to pass it along so our helmsman knows what to look for to spot incoming antimatter. Last thing we want is to annihilate ourselves trying to get there.” Henry laughed as a means to diffuse the tension.
“The ASI support program will be better than any human at course correcting the ship in time, especially with the Fist of the Argonauts feeding us sensor data from the stream ahead of us via Q-Comm. All we need to do is make sure that we update our predictive models with all this delicious data we're taking in.” Chantal said, referring to the Adaptive Synthetic Intelligence that helped various ship systems to operate at speeds and efficiencies that human beings simply couldn't compete with.
“Hey LT, you think we'll be safe from the antimatter, right?” Jenkins stumbled over his words as he spoke in a low tone to Paul
“I know that if we aren’t safe, we won’t live long enough for it to matter, so why worry about it?” Paul said with a smirk.
Paul caught a warning glare from self-righteous Henry to which he rolled his eyes as he walked out of the room in disgust.
Jenkins followed him out of the CIC with a terrified look on his face. Honestly, he makes it too damn easy.
“You don’t really mean that, do you? Because that’s not very funny LT.” Jenkins protested in an annoyed tone.
Paul smirked, glad that the kid finally seemed to be growing a spine, at least enough of one to challenge Paul even a little.
“I don’t know Ensign, what do you think? Do you think we are going to perish in a blaze of particle annihilation, or do you think our little pea shooters will be able to deflect what we can’t dodge? Don’t tell me I have to do all your critical thinking for you too, now.”
“Well, Dr. Washington is really smart… and the Captain seemed so sure of himself….”
Paul turned around, sick of the bullshit. “What do you think, Jenkins? Forget what they said or what I said, and remember that you have a working brain, too. You heard the evidence yourself, come to your own conclusion and own it.”
“I… I think we're gonna make it.” He said with some finality to it after a long moment of silence.
“Well good, hold on to that thought and don’t be so quick to let the opinions of others sway you. Especially not when you have made your mind up based upon actual data rather than some invented fear. If you can keep your head when others around you are losing theirs, you will actually stand a real chance of surviving even the most hopeless of situations.” Paul said.
“I need to write what you say down, LT! I don’t know how you got so wise, but I'm willing to learn anything you can teach me!”
“Oh, stop the groveling already. You and I are far from the same, and you have a long way to go. But… buried deep down far below this incompetent surface you do have some redeeming qualities. I suppose I'd be willing to teach you some things, even if it is just to make you less annoying to hang around with.” Paul replied.
“Thank you! You won’t regret this!” Preston said, genuinely excited.
“I already do. We have months of boring FTL time ahead of us, why don’t we pick up our training where we left off. I could go for grinding you into the mat a few times. Just try not to tap out so quick this time.” Paul said as Jenkins followed close behind.
If I'm really going to be saddled with him long term, I may as well help mold him into someone actually useful. It's not like I've got all that much else to do with my time while stuck on this godawful flight.
The ship lurched under their feet, suddenly, nearly knocking them both to the ground.
“All hands, this is your captain speaking, prepare to stow all non-essential gear and tools in anticipation of a rather bumpy ride. We will need to actively avoid inbound debris at periodic intervals, the last thing we need are injuries from flying tools. I am ordering the ship to follow combat maneuvering protocols at all times while traveling in FTL from here on out.”
Paul pulled himself back to his feet. Combat maneuvering protocols were stressful and slowed down even the most basic tasks. This was going to make a long, boring trip into something outright tedious for the crew. Looks like the antimatter threat's gonna bring some real world consequences after all...
The ship lurched again, and for just a second, the corridor was bathed in emergency lighting for a long moment before the regular lights came back on.
“Wasn’t that supposed to have been fixed?” Ensign obvious asked. Paul simply stared deadpan at Jenkins for his stupid question.
"Apparently that was too much to ask for.” Paul said, deciding upon fatalism.
“Well, hopefully there isn’t anything else wrong with the ship, or there aren’t any more dangers with FTL we aren’t aware of yet. I haven’t heard of a mere six week gap from christening to commissioning before. I feel like maybe we are making a huge mistake by launching now instead of waiting a little longer to be really sure. I've had a bad feeling about this trip from the start, especially after you didn't break the bottle.” Jenkins said, shivering.
“Jenkins why in the sweet fuck would you say that out loud? Filter yourself sometimes, what's wrong with you?” Paul spat. For one tiny moment he actually wished for his sister’s company of all things, probably as a buffer, he mused. Just what was happening to him?
Jenkins said nothing and followed a little further back, pouting.
This is going to be a long trip....
THE NEXT DAY....
DATE: FEBRUARY 16th, 7 A.U. (AFTER UNIFICATION) LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
FIREMAN APPRENTICE ANDREW REESE
It had been difficult going these past months, but his efforts at slowly testing the loyalties and thoughts of those around him had begun to bear fruit. Andrew now had a core of believers. No actual officers yet, but there were two noncoms whom were wavering now and showing signs they were possible ideological fits for recruitment. He had to be careful, however, as the wrong person speaking up would prove disastrous. The state of constant danger they found themselves in now that they had transitioned to FTL had proven to sow the perfect type of discontent to give him an opening with some, or to push others over the edge.
"This antimatter bullshit is really getting on my nerves. I can't believe we're going to have to deal with this shit for the next two goddamn years!" Ed, his first and truest recruit said to the group they were eating with in the mess.
"I know what you mean, this whole mission is bullshit. I didn't sign up for this crap. Did you hear about Riley?" Another person he didn't recognize spoke up.
"No, what happened?" Ed replied.
"She was on the quick lift when we swerved to dodge one of those antimatter pieces yesterday and she fell and broke her arm. They tried to hush it up, but word is getting around anyway. One of my buddies almost got crushed by a falling crate before he could strap it back down this morning." The new person replied.
Andrew smiled. They were almost making it too easy. He sent up a silent thank you to the heavens for the turn of his fortunes as additional murmurs of discontent were heard from around the table.
"I almost banged my head yesterday pretty badly." Another person chimed in.
"To think this whole mission is based off a lie, too. They couldn't even tell us the truth until we were already on a ship headed over here and it was too late to back out. They've been playing on our patriotism, which only adds to the feeling something isn't right here, especially since this is being kept from the feds. Like, if they were willing to do all that, what else are they keeping from us?" Andrew chimed in, trying to keep his excitement hidden.
"Yeah! He's right, you know. Why are they keeping this a secret for anyway? I thought we were supposed to be working together for the good of the species, the Navy should know about this. I mean, we cracked FTL for Christ's sake! This could change the whole course of the war!" Andrew and Ed shared a knowing look as the new guy fell right into their hands without even knowing it.
"That's if this trip doesn't kill us first." Ed said.
"Nah, they said they've tested the Inversion drive, right? I'm sure they've done everything they can to make sure we make it through safe." Another person chimed in, though they didn't sound too convinced.
"Tell that to Riley. I don't know man, you know what happens if just one piece of antimatter gets through right? They've already proven they're willing to lie to us just to get us on board, and they're willing to lie to the feds. How can we trust them that they've really thought everything through. What if we run into an antimatter storm too large or spread out to dodge or deflect in time?" Andrew chimed in.
Nobody seemed to have anything to say about that for a long moment.
"Dammit, I didn't even think of that... There goes my sleep tonight." The other prospect Andrew had identified replied.
In a masterstroke of universal timing, the ship lurched hard, knocking the spork from their first prospect's hands as their plate shifted off the edge of the table.
"I think I've lost my appetite." Their newest prospect stated as he stood up. Another person got up as well, looking really uneasy and moving to dump the remains of their tray. Andrew subtly nodded to Ed to follow the first one. Andrew stood to follow the other.
Maybe, just maybe our little conspiracy will grow by a few more members today. If not, there's thousands of other potential recruits on board.
All he had to do was play it smart and keep sowing seeds of fear. They didn't need all that many more to really start spreading doubts. Once the sabotage really started kicking in, that doubt would feed on itself.
We have to put a stop to this mission; everyone's lives depends on it. They had to turn back at all costs, rethink everything, maybe even find a way to leak the knowledge of the Inversion drive to the government so better testing could be done before humanity tried again.
Andrew tapped on his mark's shoulder once they were out of earshot of the rest of the mess hall.
"Hey there, my name is Andrew. I heard you talking back there and I think you're right to be concerned. Can I get your name?"
Andrew smiled, and reminded himself once more to play it cool as he cleared his mind and got to work.
First - Previous - Anchor Points: Uplift - Patreon
A/N: Mwahahahaha So the chaos begins... Here begins the first signs of the raging fire that will either temper the crew like hardened steel, or will shatter it entirely. The challenges they are to face will demand everyone to be at their best, indeed their very survival will depend upon it. There are consequences to escaping time's jealous grasp, ones that will draw them into a new conflict and will reveal secrets that will shake history to its very roots. Fate will call the crew of the Indomitable Will into the Age of Heroes; will they be up to the challenge?
Thanks for reading, I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I'd love to hear any questions, comments, feedback you may have. I've also noticed the story has been getting downvoted to zero, I'm just not sure why. I'd love to hear any insight on that, as this is a work in progress still and I am keen to improve both the story and my ability to express it with my writing. I'm wondering if its because the first chapters are a bit of a slow burn. The elements of HFY are more subtle in the first arc, and will gain steam in the transition to the second arc and after as they re-enter normal space and the true story begins in earnest.
Things are only going to accelerate from here. Glad to have you all along for the ride!
On another note, thanks to those who have ordered Anchor Points: Uplift, as well as to those who have considered supporting my Patreon. It's been a relentlessly tough year, manifesting both financially and in a bit of a crisis of confidence. The extra support means the world to me, even if all you are in a position to offer is a comment and an upvote. Thanks again for reading! See you all next week.

Hey guys i hope you are well, here is a new DH Gate find list , please watch carefully before you pick an item and always check twice for the size chart and the reviews! NOTE: I have not bought all of the items on the list, but all of them are manually collected from positive reviews and from different dhgate hauls. (Check the reviews of each item or massage the seller for QC pictures before you buy.)
PLEASE

ask the seller for pics if you didn't find reviews or a size chart .
this post will updated
use cashback.
if you need anything in dhgate let me know greygooselover .

SHOES / SLIDES:

T-SHIRTS / JACKETS / TRACKSUITS:

PANTS / JEANS:

ACCESSORIES / OTHERS:

Bags

Celine Phantom Bag $129.99
Chloe Hudson Bag $197.52(another option, the leather looks good)
Miu Miu Matelasse Flap Bag $67.21
Gucci Lady Web Crossbody
Gucci Marmont Med
LV Keepall Duffle Bag
LV Speedy Mini
LV Toiletry Pouch Giant Monogram
LV TwistIf you order, be sure to ask seller about the twist lock. There is a recurring flaw of the DHG reps spinning 360. I also posted a review of this bag from designerpurse, and their lock functions correctly
Prada Belt Bag
Prada Black Nylon Tote
Prada Small Black Messenger
YSL Classic Sac de Jour
YSL Kate Tassel Bag

Shoes

Gucci Chevron Espadrilles $69.49 ( goes up to size 42)
LV Lace-Up Winter Fur Boots $79.65 (goes up to size 42; cute boots, I’m not sure if these are fantasy?)
Christian Louboutin Pira Ryad Wedge Sandals 6cm/12cm heel both $69.41 (loads of different color-ways)
Christian Louboutin Suede Pumps 8cm/10cm/12cm heel $76.36 (only comes in black)

Tops

Sunglasses

Celine Cat-Eye Sunglasses 41468S $53.44(very very stylish! ❤️)
Gucci Oversized Sunglasses GG0061S $41.68

Headwear and Accessories

Gucci Silk Headband $13.18Chanel/Dior Headband $17.00 ( worth buying )
Fur-Trim Parka Winter Coat $76.31 (not sure if this is designer, but it's a pretty coat!)

Sets

Gucci Underwear Set $26.30(comes in two different styles; a user gave this a positive review here )

Jewelry

Here are some extra Items

Hey guys i hope you are well, here is a new DH Gate find list , please watch carefully before you pick an item and always check twice for the size chart and the reviews! NOTE: I have not bought all of the items on the list, but all of them are manually collected from positive reviews and from different dhgate hauls. (Check the reviews of each item or massage the seller for QC pictures before you buy.)
PLEASE

ask the seller for pics if you didn't find reviews or a size chart .
this post will updated
use cashback.
if you need anything in dhgate let me know greygooselover .

SHOES / SLIDES:

T-SHIRTS / JACKETS / TRACKSUITS:

PANTS / JEANS:

ACCESSORIES / OTHERS:

Bags

Celine Phantom Bag $129.99
Chloe Hudson Bag $197.52(another option, the leather looks good)
Miu Miu Matelasse Flap Bag $67.21
Gucci Lady Web Crossbody
Gucci Marmont Med
LV Keepall Duffle Bag
LV Speedy Mini
LV Toiletry Pouch Giant Monogram
LV TwistIf you order, be sure to ask seller about the twist lock. There is a recurring flaw of the DHG reps spinning 360. I also posted a review of this bag from designerpurse, and their lock functions correctly
Prada Belt Bag
Prada Black Nylon Tote
Prada Small Black Messenger
YSL Classic Sac de Jour
YSL Kate Tassel Bag

Shoes

Gucci Chevron Espadrilles $69.49 ( goes up to size 42)
LV Lace-Up Winter Fur Boots $79.65 (goes up to size 42; cute boots, I’m not sure if these are fantasy?)
Christian Louboutin Pira Ryad Wedge Sandals 6cm/12cm heel both $69.41 (loads of different color-ways)
Christian Louboutin Suede Pumps 8cm/10cm/12cm heel $76.36 (only comes in black)

Tops

Sunglasses

Celine Cat-Eye Sunglasses 41468S $53.44(very very stylish! ❤️)
Gucci Oversized Sunglasses GG0061S $41.68

Headwear and Accessories

Gucci Silk Headband $13.18Chanel/Dior Headband $17.00 ( worth buying )
Fur-Trim Parka Winter Coat $76.31 (not sure if this is designer, but it's a pretty coat!)

Sets

Gucci Underwear Set $26.30(comes in two different styles; a user gave this a positive review here )

Jewelry

Here are some extra Items

I just think those little search results are annoying ☹️

If a team were ever explicitly built to slow down Nikola Jokic and Denver, it would be this version of Minnesota, assembled by lead architect Tim Connelly, whose fingerprints remain all over the defending champion Denver Nuggets.
Connelly built the core of the Denver machine; he knows what piece unlocks it, so conversely, he also knows that piece can be the one to shut it down.
The Gobert Funnel:
Nikola Jokic is an enigma wrapped inside a riddle.
No one can guard Jokic one-on-one for a whole game, let alone a seven-game series. He always figures it out.
The best that any team can hope for is to slow him down, and the most effective strategy (if you can call it that) for that has been to put your best help defender on Denver’s weakest outside shooter (Gordon) and let that player play in the Ray Lewis middle linebacker “spy” role.
Rudy Gobert, the soon-to-be four-time defensive player of the year, is the ultimate help defender and could very well (in concert with Towns and Reid) hold the key to solving the riddle of slowing down Jokic enough to win four out of seven games.
Minnesota uses the same “funnel” strategy with Gobert as Boston uses with Porzingis.
The idea is simple: attempt to funnel the ball to the opposing team's worst shooter (Gordon) by allowing Gobert to roam free and become the ultimate spy defender.
The effectiveness of the “funnel” strategy depends on three main questions:
Defense:

How good is your funnel defender as a helper?
Can the primary defenders present enough resistance to allow your funnel defender to shine?

Offense:

Can the offensive player, the funnel's target, create enough havoc to turn the funnel off?

None of these questions exist in a vacuum; like Logan Roy said, “Everything, everywhere is always moving, forever,” but these are the main questions being asked at the epicenter of this funnel strategy.
The Los Angeles Lakers tried this strategy on Jokic in Round One of the playoffs and failed. The reason wasn’t that the funnel defender, Anthony Davis, is one of the best in the game, but rather the lack of resistance Los Angeles's primary defender could present.
LeBron James was capable in spurts, but all the banging with Jokic can deplete anyone's energy quickly. So, Los Angeles tried Rui Hachimura, but he was paper mache for Jokic, forcing Los Angeles to return with Davis as the primary, eliminating the funnel defense.
The Trade:
On May 23, 2022, Connelly was announced as the President of the Minnesota Timberwolves; 51 days later, he traded for Rudy Gobert.
Connelly knew precisely who Minnesota would have to beat to win a championship and went and got the one player they would need to do it, no matter the cost or the outside noise. He knew what everyone else didn’t—he built the machine.
I'm not sure there is a better help defender than Rudy Gobert; if he’s not the best, he’s certainly in the top three.
Connelly had one chance to make a big move while Edwards and McDaniels were still on their rookie deals, and he targeted Gobert. With Minnesota's package to Utah, he could have gotten a lot of players in the league, but he specifically wanted Gobert.
Connelly got Gobert because he saw the blueprint executed before during his time as the Denver Nuggets' POBO. The last time Jokic and Denver lost a playoff series at full strength in the 2020 bubble.
The Los Angeles Lakers defeated Denver in the Western Conference Finals 4-1 by deploying double big lineups that provided enough resistance to Jokic from primary defenders like Dwight Howard and JaVale McGee while allowing two of the game’s best help defenders, Anthony Davis and Lebron James, to fly around and contest everything in sight.
Jokic had a pedestrian series by his lofty standards, finishing with averages of 22 points, seven rebounds, and five assists per game.
Jokic was a minus 17 throughout the five games, recording no triple-doubles and only one double-double.
The difference between the current Minnesota team and every other team that has tried this strategy on Denver and Jokic since the 2020 Los Angeles Lakers is their big-man versatility. Towns and Reid have 12 fouls per game. They can provide a respectable baseline resistance level as primary defenders on Jokic while stretching the floor offensively with their shooting and ball handling.
Leaving Gobert, the best help defender in the league, to roam, clog the lane, and contest any shot within a 12-foot radius of the rim.
Aaron Gordon:
Denver and Minnesota split their season series 2-2. Here are Aaron Gordon’s stats across the four games Minnesota and Denver have played this year:

109 minutes (27.25 per)
37 points (9.25 per)
17 assists (4.25 per)
14/29 FG
2/7 Three
7/11 FT
-23

He only had one game (Game 80) where his minutes resulted in a net positive (+9). This game also happened to be his season-high in assists (nine).
Some of the assists were in transition; while this doesn’t solve the funnel in the half-court, it’s an excellent way for Gordon to attack the Gobert crossmatch. More of Gordon pushing the ball off a miss is always a good thing; he’s a beast in transition.
The half-court assists from that game are interesting to focus on, as Gordon found success vs. the funnel in spurts, usually as a cutter or by getting into quick handoff actions for shooters.
To combat the negative gravity, a player can do a few things:

Make open shots:

This is the most straightforward way to beat the funnel. However, I do not believe that Gordon will shoot enough volume for this to be a solution. Minnesota will have the fortitude to see this strategy through until the end, win or lose.

Be a great cutter:

Space and timing are essential here. Gordon’s timing must be perfect, and most importantly, he must have enough space for a running start to create maximum explosion into his finishes; if he doesn’t, Gobert will still be able to erase shots.

Play like it’s a zone:

Gordon found success in the half-court of the final game by finding soft spots, which is not unlike what you would want to do vs. zone defense. This mindset helped him get soft spot catches that gave him advantage opportunities (inside the three-point line). He does an excellent job of reading the floor and getting the ball to the open player. More of this will be needed.
4. Quick Handoff and screening actions:
I doubt Denver will make Gordon a primary ball handler (Jokic and Murray have that under control). But Gordon can quickly get into handoff actions after finding soft spots that give shooters like MPJ and Murray open looks.
This series will be a bloodbath, and I can’t wait to watch it unfold.
Aaron Gordon is the lynchpin of the series; his effectiveness vs. Minnesota’s Gobert funnel will decide who moves on and who is going to Cancun.

Bubble shooter cybersalts

BubbleShooter

I died and went to Hell. Next to the Lake of Blood, I found a list of rules [part 1]