Is mouth sores common with graves? Or is it the methimazole? I’m currently on 5mg and started taking it on April 23rd. My throat started hurting Sunday night and by Monday night I had a small spot on the back of my mouth near my tonsil. Now it’s a bigger white spot and it looks like another one is forming. 😞 I messaged my endo this morning but I haven’t heard back from her yet.

Cisco Router Security
What are the two access privilege modes of the Cisco router?
User EXEC Mode: This is the initial access mode for a router. In this mode, the user can access only a limited set of basic monitoring commands.
Privileged EXEC Mode: This mode provides access to all router commands, such as debugging and configuration commands. It requires a password for access to ensure security.
What is the approach for password for the privileged mode of the router?
enable secret [password]
uses hashing algorithm so that the password is not in plain text but encrypted
How to ensure that all passwords in the router are stored in the encrypted form?
service password-encryption
What is the difference between the Cisco router’s startup and running configurations?
How to save the running configuration into start up configuration?
Startup Configuration: Stored in the NVRAM, this configuration is used to boot the router. It remains unchanged until an administrator explicitly saves the running configuration to it.
Running Configuration: Held in the router’s RAM, this configuration is active on the router. Changes to the router’s configuration are made here and are effective immediately.
Know and be able to configure all aspects of the Cisco router covered in class. For example,
configuring the router interfaces, setting the router OSPF ID, etc.
enable
configure terminal
hostname MyRouter
interface GigabitEthernet0/0
ip address 192.168.1.1 255.255.255.0
no shutdown
exit
interface Serial0/0/0
ip address 10.0.0.1 255.255.255.252
clock rate 64000
no shutdown
exit
router ospf 1
router-id 1.1.1.1
network 192.168.1.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
exit
enable secret mysecretpassword
line console 0
password myconsolepassword
login
exit
line vty 0 4
password myvtypassword
login
exit
crypto key generate rsa
ip ssh version 2
ip ssh time-out 60
ip ssh authentication-retries 2
ip route 0.0.0.0 0.0.0.0 192.168.1.254
access-list 10 permit 192.168.1.0 0.0.0.255
access-list 10 deny any
Practical Routing, OSPF, and Security
What is the difference between static and dynamic routing?
Static Routing: Involves manually setting up routes in the router's routing table through configuration commands. These routes do not change unless manually updated or removed. Static routing is simple, secure, and uses less bandwidth but lacks scalability and flexibility.
Dynamic Routing: Automatically adjusts routes in the routing table based on current network conditions using routing protocols. This approach allows for more flexibility, scalability, and fault tolerance, but consumes more resources and can be complex to configure.
What is the difference between link state and distance vector routing?
Distance Vector Routing: Routers using distance vector protocols calculate the best path to a destination based on the distance and direction (vector) to nodes. Updates are shared with neighboring routers at regular intervals or when changes occur. This approach can lead to slower convergence and issues like routing loops.
Link State Routing: Each router learns the entire network topology by exchanging link-state information. Routers then independently calculate the shortest path to every node using algorithms like Dijkstra’s. This results in quicker convergence and fewer routing loops.
Distance Vector Routing: Each router computes distance from itself to its next immediate neighbors. (RIP, EIGRP, & BGP)
-Does not build a full map of the network
-Focuses more on the next hop towards the destination
Link State Routing: Each router shares knowledge of its neighbors with every other router in the network. (OSPF and IS-IS)
-Builds a full map of the network
-Each router shares information
-Maintains a database of the entire network.
Give an example of the distance vector and link state algorithms.
Distance = RIPLink State = OSPF
What type of protocol is Routing Information Protocol (RIP)? Be able to understand
examples and solve problems.
Example of a distance vector protocol
dynamic protocol
-shares routing info with neighboring routers
-an interior gateway protocol that operates within autonomous system
-oldest of all dynamic protocol; RIPv1
-widely used open standard developed by IETF
-a distance vector routing protocol
-limited to maximum 15 hops;

 how rip works -rip sends regular update message (advertisements to neighboring routers) 

-every 30 seconds that resets after each successful ack
-route becomes invalid if it has not received a message for 180 seconds
-RIPv1 (obsolete) uses broadcast, while RIPv2 uses a multicast address -Update message only travel to a single hop
downside : limitations, each router in its table can only have one entry per destination. Have to wait for advertisement for an alternative path, cannot reach hops 15 paths away, little to no security.
What type of protocol is Open Shortest Paths First (OSPF) protocol? Be able to under-
stand examples and solve problems.

• an interior gateway protocol that operates within autonomous systems to build a full map of the network.
  
• widely used open standard developed by IETF
  

-a link state routing protocol

 intra as routing with RIP 

What is the Link State Advertisement (LSA) in OSPF? What is the Link State Database
(LSDB)?
-LSA contains data about a router, its subnets, and some other network information.-OSPF puts all the LSAs from different routers into a Link-State Database (LSDB)
The goal of OSPF is to be able to determine a complete map of the interior routing path to be able to create the best route possible.
The way this is done is that OSPF finds all the routers and subnets that can be reached within the entire network. The result is that each router will have the same information about the network by sending out LSA.
How does each router in OSPF create a map of the entire network?
Step 1 : Acquire neighbor relationship to exchange network information.
Step 2: Exchange database information, neighboring routers swap LSDB information with each other
Step 3: Choosing the best routes, each router chooses the best routes to add to its routing table based on the learned LSDB information.
What is the process for two OSPF routers to become neighbors?
A. a neighbor sends out a Hello packet including the router ID along with subnets that it routes to the given multicast address to a given OSPF area ID.

this is also a way for routers to tell neighbors that they are still on and good to go. 

B. Once other routers receive this packet, they run some checks. The neighboring routers must match the following requirements:
-area id needs to be the same (also used when scaling up OSPF)
-the shared or connecting link should be on the same subnet.
-The Hello and dead timer must be the same.
-the dead timer is having enogh time before the sending router assumes that the neighbor is down.
-this timer is typically 10 secs for point-to-point and broadcast networks.
C. If all is fine, the receiving router will go into Init stage and sends a hello message of its own. This Hello packet list its own network info along with the known neighbor R1. This puts R1 into a 2-way communication status.
D. R1 sends another Hello message to R2 with the information as a known neighbor. This allows the R2 now with a 2-way communication status as well.E. We now have a 2-way neighboring routers
What is the difference between point-to-point and multi-access networks? How does OSPF
handle each case?

Point-to-Point: A network setup where each connection is between two specific nodes or devices. OSPF treats these links with straightforward neighbor relationships since there are only two routers on each segment. 

Multi-Access Networks: Networks where multiple routers can connect on the same segment, such as Ethernet. OSPF uses a Designated Router (DR) and a Backup Designated Router (BDR) on these types of networks to reduce the amount of OSPF traffic and the size of the topological database.
DR selected by the highest OSPF prio.
Be able to configure OSPF routing given a topology.
–
Example:
Consider a topology with three routers R1, R2, and R3. The routers
are connected R1 =⇒R2 =⇒R3 =⇒R1.
R1 has interface f0/0 connected to the
interface f0/0 of R2. R2 has interface f0/1 connecting to the interface f0/0 of R3.
Finally R3 has interface 1/0 connecting to the interface 1/0 of R3. Assuming all
routers are Cisco 7200 routers, configure them to use OSPF to dynamically route in
this topology (you will be given the Cisco router manual for such questions).
•
R1enable
configure terminal
hostname R1
interface FastEthernet0/0
ip address 192.168.12.1 255.255.255.0
no shutdown
exit
interface FastEthernet1/0
ip address 192.168.31.1 255.255.255.0
no shutdown
exit
router ospf 1
router-id 1.1.1.1
network 192.168.12.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
network 192.168.31.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
exit
end
write memory
R2enable
configure terminal
hostname R2
interface FastEthernet0/0
ip address 192.168.12.2 255.255.255.0
no shutdown
exit
interface FastEthernet0/1
ip address 192.168.23.1 255.255.255.0
no shutdown
exit
router ospf 1
router-id 2.2.2.2
network 192.168.12.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
network 192.168.23.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
exit
end
write memory
R3enable
configure terminal
hostname R3
interface FastEthernet0/0
ip address 192.168.23.2 255.255.255.0
no shutdown
exit
interface FastEthernet1/0
ip address 192.168.31.2 255.255.255.0
no shutdown
exit
router ospf 1
router-id 3.3.3.3
network 192.168.23.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
network 192.168.31.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
exit
end
write memory
How does OSPF authenticate packets to protect against packet spoofing and tempering?
Be able to enable it a Cisco router.
OSPF (Open Shortest Path First) can authenticate packets to protect against packet spoofing and tampering using several methods. The two main types of authentication are:
Plain Text Authentication: This is simple and provides minimal security. It sends the password in clear text.
Message Digest 5 (MD5) Authentication: This provides stronger security by using cryptographic hash functions to authenticate OSPF packets.
Plain textenable
configure terminal
interface FastEthernet0/0
ip address 192.168.12.1 255.255.255.0
ip ospf authentication
ip ospf authentication-key cisco123
no shutdown
exit
router ospf 1
router-id 1.1.1.1
network 192.168.12.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
area 0 authentication
exit
write memory
MD5enable
configure terminal
interface FastEthernet0/0
ip address 192.168.12.1 255.255.255.0
ip ospf authentication message-digest
ip ospf message-digest-key 1 md5 securepassword
no shutdown
exit
router ospf 1
router-id 1.1.1.1
network 192.168.12.0 0.0.0.255 area 0
area 0 authentication message-digest
exit
write memory
Network Defense Fundamentals
•
What is IP spoofing? Explain.
-The ip packet contains the source and destination Ip addresses.-Is it straightforward to modify the ip address of the packet.
-IP Spoofing: sender chagrin his source address to something other than his real address.
How can IP spoofing be used in security attacks?
-If the attacker sends an Ip packet with a spoofed IP, they will not receive a response form the destination: the machine with the IP matching the spoofed IP will receive the response.Ip spoofing operation - the sender spoofs the source IP address to point to another target. The receiver system replies to the spoofed IP.
•
What are the countermeasures to IP spoofing?
Ingress and Egress Filtering: Network operators should implement filtering rules on routers and firewalls to block packets with source IP addresses that should not originate from those networks. Ingress filtering blocks incoming packets with a source IP address that is not valid for the network, while egress filtering blocks outgoing packets with an invalid source IP address.
Reverse Path Forwarding (RPF): This technique ensures that the incoming packets are received on the same interface that the router would use to send traffic back to the source. If the path does not match, the packet is discarded, preventing spoofed packets from passing through.
IPsec (Internet Protocol Security): IPsec can be used to authenticate and encrypt IP packets, ensuring that they come from legitimate sources and have not been tampered with. This makes spoofing attacks significantly more difficult.
How can IP spoofing be used to perform DoS attacks?
IP spoofing is often used in Denial of Service (DoS) attacks to obscure the attacker's identity and to overwhelm the target with traffic from what appears to be multiple sources. One common type of DoS attack that utilizes IP spoofing is a Smurf Attack. In a Smurf Attack, the attacker sends ICMP (Internet Control Message Protocol) echo requests to broadcast addresses of networks, with the source IP address spoofed to that of the victim. The devices on the network respond to the echo requests, sending replies back to the victim's IP address. This amplifies the traffic directed at the victim, potentially overwhelming their network and causing a DoS condition.
•
Know how to use
hping3
for performing ping floods.
Using hping3 to perform ping floods involves sending a high volume of ICMP Echo Request packets to a target to overwhelm it.basic ping floodsudo hping3 -1 --flood [target_IP]
Using spoofed source ipsudo hping3 -1 --flood -a [spoofed_IP] [target_IP]
Controlling the Packet Sending Rateo hping3 -1 --flood -i u1000 [target_IP]Combining sudo hping3 -1 --flood -a 10.0.0.1 -i u1000 192.168.1.1
Firewalling
What is a firewall?
a filtering device on a network that enforces network security policy and protects the network against external attacks.
According to NIST SP 800-41, what are the characteristics of a firewall?
NIST standard defines the possible characteristics that a firewall can use to filter traffic.
-(IP Address and Protocol type) filtering based on source/destination IP address/ports, traffic direction and other transport layer characteristics.
-(Application Protocols)controls access based on application protocol data
-(User identity) controls access based on user identity
-(Network activity)
What are the limitations of the firewall?
Firewall capabilities: -Define a traffic chokepoint in the network and protects against IP spoofing and routing attacks
-Provide a location for monitoring the security events -Provide non-security functions: loggin internet usage, network address translation-Serve as platform for VPN/IPSec
Firewall limitations:-protect against attacks bypassing the firewall, connections from inside the organization to the outside that do not go through the firewall.-protect against internal threats such as disgruntled employees.
What is a packet filter firewall? Be able to write and interpret rules and to spot configu-
rationflaws.
Packet filtering firewall : applies a set of rules to each packet based on the packet headers.Filters based on: source/destination IP, source/destination port numbers, IP Protocol Field:defines the transport protocol, Interface : for firewalls with 3+ network interfaces, the interface from which the packet came from/going to
•
What is the difference between the default and allow and default deny policies? Which
one is the more secure one?
-when no rules apply to a packet, a default rule is applied: default deny : what is not explicitly permitted is denied default forward : what is not explicitly denied is allowed
default deny is more secure, you dont have to identify all of the cases that needs to be blocked, if one is missed, default deny will deny it.
Port 0-1023 reserved
1024-2**17 ephemeral
source port used by the system initialiatizng a connection is always chosen from the ephemeral ports
Be able to configure the packet filtering functions of iptables.
–
Example:
Write iptables rules to block all ICMP traffic to and from the system.
iptables -A INPUT -p icmp -j DROP
iptables -A OUTPUT -p icmp -j DROP
Example:
Write iptables rules to block all traffic on port 22
iptables -A INPUT -p tcp --sport 22 -j DROP
iptables -A OUTPUT -p tcp --dport 22 -j DROP
–
Example:
Write iptables rules to block traffic to host 192.168.2.2
iptables -A OUTPUT -p tcp --dest 192.168.2.2 -j DROP
iptables -A INPUT -p tcp --src 192.168.2.2 -j DROP
What are the limitations of the packet filter firewall?
-does not examine upper layer data : cannot prevent attacks that employ application specfic vulnerabilities or functions.cannot block application specific commands.
•
What is the stateful firewall and how does it compare to a packet filter?
A stateful firewall is a network security device that monitors and tracks the state of active connections, making decisions based on the context of the traffic. Unlike a simple packet filter, which examines individual packets in isolation based on predetermined rules, a stateful firewall keeps track of connections over time, distinguishing between legitimate packets that are part of an established session and potentially malicious ones. This contextual awareness allows it to block unauthorized connection attempts and prevent attacks such as spoofing and session hijacking. While packet filters, or stateless firewalls, operate faster and consume fewer resources by applying static rules to each packet independently, they lack the sophisticated traffic pattern handling and enhanced security provided by stateful firewalls.
•
What is the application-level firewall? What are its advantages and limitations?
An application-level firewall, also known as an application firewall or proxy firewall, operates at the application layer of the OSI model. It inspects and filters traffic based on the specific application protocols (e.g., HTTP, FTP, DNS) rather than just IP addresses and port numbers. limitations : increased communications overhead due to two separate TCP connections

 and not transparent to the client 

Application-level gateways are also known as application-level proxies.
-act as a relay for the application-level traffic.
-runs at the application layer, and examines application-layer data
Supported ProtocolsFTPSTMPHTTP
What is a circuit-level firewall? What are its advantages and limitations?
-Similar to the application-level gateway, but only tracks the state of the TCP/UDP sessions.
-Does not examine application data , simply relays TCP segments
-Allow/deny decisions based on whether a packet belongs to an established and trusted connection
Advantage of circuit-level firewall -do not filter individual packets(simplifies rules)

-fast and efficient 

Disadvantages:

-do not filter individual packets -require frequent updates: traffic is filtered with rules and policies that need regular updates for new threats and risks -the vendor needs to modify the TCP/IP implementation for thor applications to use the circuit-level proxy. 

What are the different approaches to basing the firewall?

-stand-alone machines -software modules in roosters, switches, or servers, or pre-configured security appliances. 

What are the host-based firewalls?
Host-based firewalls: a firewall software module used to secure a single host.
What are the network device firewalls?
Network device firewall = routers and switches often have firewall functions, like packet filtering and stateful inspection, to check and filter packets
What are the virtual firewalls?
-in a virtualized environment, servers, switches, and routers can be virtualized and share physical hardware. The hypervisor that manages the virtual machines can also have firewall capabilities.
What is the DMZ? How is it used for securing networks?
A Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) in network security is a physical or logical subnetwork that contains and exposes an organization's external-facing services to an untrusted network, typically the internet. The primary purpose of a DMZ is to add an additional layer of security to an organization's local area network (LAN). By isolating these externally accessible services, the DMZ ensures that if an attacker gains access to the public-facing systems, they do not have direct access to the rest of the network.
How the DMZ Secures Networks
Isolation of Public Services: Services that need to be accessible from the outside, such as web servers, mail servers, FTP servers, and DNS servers, are placed in the DMZ. These services are isolated from the internal network, which helps protect the internal systems from attacks that may exploit vulnerabilities in the public-facing services.
Controlled Access: Firewalls are used to create boundaries between the internet, the DMZ, and the internal network. The firewall rules are configured to allow only specific types of traffic to and from the DMZ. For example, incoming web traffic might be allowed to reach a web server in the DMZ, but not to access internal systems directly.
Minimal Exposure: Only the necessary services are exposed to the internet. This minimizes the attack surface, reducing the number of entry points that an attacker can exploit. Internal systems and data remain protected behind the additional layer of the firewall.
Layered Security: The DMZ provides an additional layer of defense (defense-in-depth). Even if an attacker manages to compromise a server in the DMZ, the internal network is still protected by another firewall, making it harder for the attacker to penetrate further.
Monitoring and Logging: Activities within the DMZ can be closely monitored and logged. Any suspicious behavior can be detected early, and appropriate actions can be taken to mitigate potential threats before they impact the internal network.
Traffic Filtering: The firewalls between the internet and the DMZ, as well as between the DMZ and the internal network, can filter traffic based on IP addresses, ports, and protocols. This filtering ensures that only legitimate traffic is allowed and that malicious traffic is blocked.
-if attacker compromises a server on the network, they will be able to pivot to other systems on the network.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having the two DMZ firewalls be from
different vendors?
Using different firewall manufacturers for the two firewalls maybe a good idea, avoids possibility of both having the same vulnerability but introduces more complexity and management overhead.
Be able to write pfSense firewall rules
Penetration Testing
•
What is penetration testing?
-legal and suthorzied attempt to locate and exploit vulnerable systems for the purpose of making those systems more secure.

pen testing, pt, hacking, ethical hacking, whitehate hacking, offensive security, red teaming 

What is the objective of the penetration testing?

Use tools and techniques used by the attackers in order to discover security vulnerabilities before the attackers do. 

What is the BAD pyramid?

The purpose of a red team is to find ways to improve the blue team, so purple teams should not be needed in an organization where the red/blue teams interaction is healthy and functioning properly. 

red attack
purple defender changes based off attack knowledge
blue defend
green builder changes based on defender knowledge
yellow build
orange builder changes based on attacker knowledge
Why are the penetration tests conducted?
-a company may want to have a stronger understanding of their security footprint.

-system policy shortcomings -network protocol weaknesses -network/software misconfigurations -software vulnerabilities 

What is the difference between penetration testing and vulnerability assessment?
-two terms often incorrectly ,interchangeably used in practice.
-vulnerability assessment : review of systems services to find potential vulnerabilities-penetration testing: finding an exploiting system vulnerabilities as proof-of-concept
What is the difference between black-box, white-box, and grey-box testing.
Black-Box Testing
Tester Knowledge: The tester has no knowledge of the internal structure, code, or implementation details of the system.
-lack knowledge of system
White-Box Testing
Tester Knowledge: The tester has full knowledge of the internal structure, code, and implementation details of the system.
-very thorough , but not completely realistic
Grey-Box Testing
Tester Knowledge: The tester has partial knowledge of the internal structure, code, or implementation details of the system.
What is the difference between ethical and unethical hackers?
-penetration testers, with proper authorization of the company, help improve the security of the company.
-unethical hackers, personal gain through extortion or other devious methods, profit, revenge, fame, etc. No authorization to conduct the attacks
•Ethical vs unethical hacking, penetration testers: obtain the authorization from the organization whose systems they plan to attack unethical hackers: attack without authorization.
Know the stages of penetration testing and the importance of following a structured ap-
proach.
–
Planning and Reconnaissance:
Planning: Define the scope and goals of the test, including the systems to be tested and the testing methods.
Reconnaissance: Gather information about the target, such as IP addresses, domain names, and network infrastructure, to understand how to approach the test.
Scanning:
Purpose: Identify potential entry points and vulnerabilities in the target system.
Methods: Use tools to scan for open ports, services running on those ports, and known vulnerabilities.
Gaining Access:
Purpose: Attempt to exploit identified vulnerabilities to gain unauthorized access to the system.
Techniques: Use techniques like password cracking, SQL injection, or exploiting software vulnerabilities.
Maintaining Access:
Planning and Reconnaissance:
Purpose: Ensure continued access to the compromised system to understand the potential impact of a prolonged attack.
Methods: Install backdoors or use other methods to maintain control over the system.
Analysis and Reporting:
Scanning
Purpose: Document the findings, including vulnerabilities discovered, methods used, and the level of access achieved.
Report: Provide a detailed report to the organization, highlighting the risks and recommending steps to mitigate the vulnerabilities.
Remediation:
Gaining Access
Purpose: Address and fix the identified vulnerabilities to improve the security of the system.
Action: Implement the recommended security measures from the report to protect against future attacks.
Retesting:
Maintaining Access
Purpose: Verify that the vulnerabilities have been successfully remediated.
Process: Conduct a follow-up test to ensure that the fixes are effective and no new issues have been introduced.
Importance of Following a Structured Approach
Consistency: A structured approach ensures that each stage is systematically followed, making the testing thorough and reliable.
Comprehensiveness: Following each stage helps identify and address all potential vulnerabilities, leaving no gaps in the security assessment.
Documentation: A structured method produces detailed documentation, which is crucial for understanding the security posture and for future reference.
Effectiveness: It ensures that the penetration test effectively mimics real-world attack scenarios, providing valuable insights into how an actual attacker might exploit vulnerabilities.
Risk Management: By identifying and addressing vulnerabilities, organizations can proactively manage security risks and protect their assets from potential attacks.
Example:
What is the difference between the passive and active reconnaissance?
•
Passive Reconnaissance
Definition: Gathering information about the target without directly interacting with the target system or network. The aim is to collect data without alerting the target.
Methods:
Publicly Available Information: Searching for information that is freely available on the internet, such as social media profiles, company websites, and news articles.
DNS Queries: Looking up domain registration information (WHOIS data), DNS records, and IP address ranges.
Network Traffic Analysis: Capturing and analyzing network traffic without sending packets to the target (e.g., using tools like Wireshark in a non-intrusive manner).
Search Engines: Using search engines to find information about the target, such as employee names, email addresses, and technical details.
Advantages:
Low Risk: Minimizes the chance of detection by the target because no direct interaction occurs.
Stealth: Suitable for the early stages of reconnaissance when the goal is to remain undetected.
Disadvantages:
Limited Information: May not provide as much detailed or specific information about vulnerabilities or configurations as active reconnaissance.
Active Reconnaissance
Definition: Actively engaging with the target system or network to gather information. This involves direct interaction, such as sending packets or probing the target.
Methods:
Network Scanning: Using tools like Nmap to scan for open ports, running services, and network topology.
Vulnerability Scanning: Running vulnerability scanners (e.g., Nessus, OpenVAS) to identify known weaknesses in the target systems.
Social Engineering: Directly interacting with individuals (e.g., phishing attacks) to gather information.
Probing and Enumerating: Sending specific queries or packets to the target to elicit responses that reveal information about the system (e.g., banner grabbing).
Advantages:
Detailed Information: Provides more detailed and specific information about the target's vulnerabilities, configurations, and active services.
Identification of Weaknesses: More effective in identifying exploitable vulnerabilities that can be used in subsequent attack phases.
Disadvantages:
Higher Risk: Increases the risk of detection by the target, which could alert them to the reconnaissance activity.
Potential Legal Issues: Unauthorized active reconnaissance can lead to legal repercussions if done without permission.
Summary
Passive Reconnaissance: Involves gathering information without direct interaction with the target, resulting in lower risk of detection but potentially less detailed information.
Active Reconnaissance: Involves direct interaction with the target to gather detailed information, but carries a higher risk of detection and potential legal consequences.
Both types of reconnaissance are essential in penetration testing to understand the target's environment and identify potential vulnerabilities while balancing the need for stealth and detailed information.
Be able to use the penetration testing tools discussed in class
nmap 192.168.1.1
nmap -sS -sV -O -A 192.168.1.1-sS: Perform a stealth SYN scan.
-sV: Detect service versions.
-O: Detect operating system.
-A: Perform aggressive scan (includes OS detection, version detection, script scanning, and traceroute).

Guys so im a tamil canadian( born to canadian tamils but raised in dubai)
I always seen malayali people here in dubai and i noticed that u people come in different colors ,sizes ,shapes height and features etc. I always thought that it might be due to different financial classes,jobs,diets etc even though it was illogical compared to us as most of we tamils have that common look irrespective of our backgrounds.
But what i noticed when i recently visited kerala is that many people from northern kerala (kasargod,kannur,kozhikode) etc has that typical middle eastern arab features. Be it from any financial or economic class some do really have that dark thick hair and eyebrows,white skin along with thick black beard and the typical arab nose along with almond shaped eyes. Looking exactly like a middle eastern arab guy. I also noticed that these looks are more common among muslim communities in those areas
What i dont understand is from where did these inherit such features of another race? R they anyhow connected to the middle eastern race or having surgeries to look like them even though i believe some of these people might not have ever seen a middle eastern guys to clone them like that?

Some of the basic facts:
-- Flight from LHR to ORD in Polaris, 2 adults & 3 kids (13/10/8)
-- We made the flight attendant and purser aware of our son's (13) severe tree nut allergy (he carries an epipen with him)
-- Both the purser and flight attendant told us the butter chicken was safe to eat and didn't have tree nuts
-- The cabin menu did NOT list any allergy ingredients (see image)
-- Son reacted to food within a few seconds of his first bite. Reaction was moderate and didn't have to deploy the epipen, but had to give him a massive dose of Benadryl and he was nauseous the rest of the flight. Rest of the flight ruined as we kept tabs on the kid to make sure he didn't boomerang into anaphylaxis
-- After our son started reacting to the food, the cabin crew checked the galley information sheet and realized that "tree nuts" were clearly listed as an ingredient (see image)
-- The purser was very apologetic about the issue and took responsibility for the issue, saying the crew was distracted on takeoff and didn't read the ingredients before clearing the meal for us -- he said he was filing a report (he never did)
-- I contacted customer service a couple days after the flight and went through multiple emails back and forth explaining the situation to various overseas customer service agents.
-- Kept escalating until they offered a $300 (per ticket) travel credit. This is a small fraction of the ticket cost, along with the advice of "bring your own food to eat next time".
Anyways, super disappointed with United -- been flying with them for over a decade, with multiple years as GS.
Do you think the $300 per ticket credit is fair compensation? Anyone have luck escalating (i keep asking to escalate and they keep sending me the same resolution offer)?
Ingredients clearly show \"tree nuts\" as an ingredient
Menu with no allergy warning

Today was a day. I was quiet at work and decided to just be. I wasn't in a bad mood but I wouldn't say I was talkative and joyful. I don't know why I've felt like this. Part of it felt like I didn't want to open my mouth because I didn't feel like getting made fun of or listening to a response I didn't want to hear. Quiet just felt better. I was nice and talkative to the customers. I want them to feel at home and happy. Sometimes I feel like I listen to the problems of my coworkers and bosses and I respect and try to understand that there are difficulties in their lives but the problems I share don't matter. I am younger than everybody and feel like it's the life gets harder when you're older attitude. I feel like we have common problems in some places but because I don't have the responsibility of a child or more life experiences that my problems don't matter as much. Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe it isn't. Sometimes it just frustrates me and today I needed to vent. I wasn't angry at anybody in particular but just wanted to feel like I do have things going on in my life. Sorry about the rambling.
I decided to go shopping and get gas. Then I got home and breathed for a bit. Now I am walking while writing this. I'm allowing my negative feelings out in a positive way. I am strengthening my body and mind while trying to deal with my emotions. I want to be better for myself. I can do anything as long as I try to step forward into a better future. A better tomorrow. A bad day doesn't define who I am so I can write about it and let it happen. Then allow the next moment to take over and I find that kind of beautiful. While time is so difficult to manage, it is an amazing cure all.
I walked a bit over 40 minutes. It felt good. I bet it may not be so much tomorrow though xD. I do hope my calves are not too sore. The walk definitely gave me some extra energy and I feel much better.
Food was good today. I had some carrots at work. For dinner I had eggs and toast. Then I had some summer salad we have at work. I tried that for the first time today. A bunch of the vegetables we have in the back of house in a vinegar dressing! I don't know why I never tried it. Maybe because I feared not liking it or the zucchini or squash in it (which I never know if I like). I'm so happy I tried it. Vegetable oil along with some red wine vinegar seems light on calories while also being absolutely delicious. This salad may be a go to for a while. I also forgot to mention this yesterday but somebody mentioned Fairlife milk to me when they crave chocolate milk. I wonder how it tastes and if it will help to ease my chocolate milk craze. Good thing I'm restricting myself from the farmer's market and getting my favorite one. I can be good but gosh self control is ruthless.
I sign off to the krill with all the skill. My conjurers of the deepest seas. May the tides be plentiful with healthy foods and seas be flavorful and favorable. Leave any questions or ideas below and dream up what you thought was unimaginable.

Today was a day. I was quiet at work and decided to just be. I wasn't in a bad mood but I wouldn't say I was talkative and joyful. I don't know why I've felt like this. Part of it felt like I didn't want to open my mouth because I didn't feel like getting made fun of or listening to a response I didn't want to hear. Quiet just felt better. I was nice and talkative to the customers. I want them to feel at home and happy. Sometimes I feel like I listen to the problems of my coworkers and bosses and I respect and try to understand that there are difficulties in their lives but the problems I share don't matter. I am younger than everybody and feel like it's the life gets harder when you're older attitude. I feel like we have common problems in some places but because I don't have the responsibility of a child or more life experiences that my problems don't matter as much. Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe it isn't. Sometimes it just frustrates me and today I needed to vent. I wasn't angry at anybody in particular but just wanted to feel like I do have things going on in my life. Sorry about the rambling.
I decided to go shopping and get gas. Then I got home and breathed for a bit. Now I am walking while writing this. I'm allowing my negative feelings out in a positive way. I am strengthening my body and mind while trying to deal with my emotions. I want to be better for myself. I can do anything as long as I try to step forward into a better future. A better tomorrow. A bad day doesn't define who I am so I can write about it and let it happen. Then allow the next moment to take over and I find that kind of beautiful. While time is so difficult to manage, it is an amazing cure all.
I walked a bit over 40 minutes. It felt good. I bet it may not be so much tomorrow though xD. I do hope my calves are not too sore. The walk definitely gave me some extra energy and I feel much better.
Food was good today. I had some carrots at work. For dinner I had eggs and toast. Then I had some summer salad we have at work. I tried that for the first time today. A bunch of the vegetables we have in the back of house in a vinegar dressing! I don't know why I never tried it. Maybe because I feared not liking it or the zucchini or squash in it (which I never know if I like). I'm so happy I tried it. Vegetable oil along with some red wine vinegar seems light on calories while also being absolutely delicious. This salad may be a go to for a while. I also forgot to mention this yesterday but somebody mentioned Fairlife milk to me when they crave chocolate milk. I wonder how it tastes and if it will help to ease my chocolate milk craze. Good thing I'm restricting myself from the farmer's market and getting my favorite one. I can be good but gosh self control is ruthless.
I sign off to the krill with all the skill. My conjurers of the deepest seas. May the tides be plentiful with healthy foods and seas be flavorful and favorable. Leave any questions or ideas below and dream up what you thought was unimaginable.

https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/think-corporate-greed-leading-cause-100005145.html
Some progressives have frequently blamed corporate greed for fueling the high cost of living that Americans are fed up with.
Yet new research from the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco casts doubt on the greedflation theory.
Economists at the SF Fed found that corporate price gouging was not a primary catalyst for the inflation surge of 2021 to 2022.
The Fed researchers did find that some companies exercised pricing power by raising prices above their production costs – a gap known as markups.
For instance, markups spiked for gasoline, cars and other goods in 2021. Likewise, there were increased markups for repair, general merchandise, laundry, personal care and other services, according to the Fed.

‘Not unusual’

Of course, the inflation crisis was not limited to just a few key sectors. It was economy-wide. (The annual inflation rate fell slightly in April, but it still remains well above the Fed’s 2% target.)
When zooming out and looking at markups across the economy, the SF Fed economists found little evidence that price gouging was the main culprit.
“Aggregate markups – the more relevant measure for overall inflation – have stayed essentially flat since the start of the recovery,” the paper concluded. “Rising markups have not been a main driver of the recent surge and subsequent decline in inflation during the current recovery.”
In fact, the SF Fed found that the path of collective markups over the past three years “is not unusual compared with previous recoveries.”

‘It angers them and angers me’

This runs counters to the argument from some progressives including Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who for years has refocused the inflation argument on corporate greed.
“Right now prices are up at the pump, at the supermarket, and online. At the same time, energy companies, grocery companies, and online retailers are reporting record profits,” Warren said in December 2021. “That’s not simply a pandemic issue. It’s not simply some inevitable economic force of nature. It’s greed—and in some cases, it is flatly illegal.”
More recently, President Joe Biden has called out corporate greed as a reason prices remain high.
“If you take a look at what people have, they have the money to spend. It angers them and angers me that you have to spend more,” Biden told CNN’s Erin Burnett, pointing to the shrinking size of Snickers bars and other food products. “It’s like 20% less for the same price. That’s corporate greed. That’s corporate greed. And we have got to deal with it. And that’s what I’m working on.”
In February, Biden said there are “still too many corporations in America ripping people off. Price gouging, junk fees, greedflation, shrinkflation.”
“America – we’re tired of being played for suckers!” Biden said.
Although the paper did not directly mention corporate greed, shrinkflation or Biden, the research undercuts the argument that greedflation drove the early inflation.
White House spokesperson Jeremy Edwards told CNN in a statement that the study supports Biden’s argument that “record profits are increasing inflation in some sectors, such as gas and general merchandise.”
“These markups should have reversed as we recovered from the pandemic—the fact that they haven’t means prices can come down if corporate profits come back to earth,” Edwards said. “President Biden has repeatedly called on large corporations to pass their record profits along to their customers by lowering prices. And he is taking on corporate rip-offs like hidden junk fees that costs families billions of dollars a year. The President will continue to call out corporate rip-offs and fight to keep money in Americans’ pockets.”

I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess just wanted to write out what I'd been feeling and put it somewhere. I'm using a burner account, and no real names, I just needed to vent this somewhere
I dated my ex (I won't bother with names) for 4 years, and broke things off last summer. Like all relationships it was complicated, but now - nine months later - I still have no idea if I did the right thing, and am left feeling rudderless and adrift.
I'm 41, she's 32 - we met online four-ish years ago, immediately hit it off and started seeing each other 3-4 times a week. We started dating in Jan 2020 ... two months later, covid hit, and our entire state was essentially locked down. We went from dating to basically living together after two months - which, at the time, was great with me .. we were in love, and things seemed great. My parents split up when I was 19. In my 20's and early 30's, I'd made some bad choices with romantic partners - and chased after people who were emotionally unavailable, fundamentally. It took many years of therapy and introspection, but I had been actively making and effort to only date people I saw a real future with.
She (at 28) had never really dated anyone before. She explained she had some very severe trauma as a child, and coupled with abusive parents, she had never put herself out there really, and had focused on work, and fitness, and school. Her father had cheated on her mother when she was a child, and she knew about it (from a very young age). I heard all this, and tried to be as empathic and understanding and reassuring as I could -> after all, it wasn't anything she had done, and I thought she was a badass for overcoming that kind of abuse. We hit it off straight away, and seemed to have tons in common, and those first few months together were incredible. She still lived at home, with her parents - and for the duration of our relationship never moved out, or found her own space.
Things started to get strange when one day, I liked a female friend's post on Instagram ... this was someone I'd known for 5-6 years, and I was friends with long before I knew my gf. In retrospect, my friend's post was a bit thirsty .. your classic "I'm powerful, self possessed" look-at-me photos that showed a bit too much skin - and I should have just kept browsing, but I tapped 'like' (one of probably 20 posts I liked that day from all kinds of different friend) and moved on.
A few hours later, my gf called me, furious, and accused me of using her 'as a place holder' because - in her mind - I obviously REALLY wanted to be with this other friend of mine, and was using her. This came completely out of left field to me, and we had a 2-hour phone argument where I apologized, told her I'd remove the 'like', whatever she wanted. She kept circling back again and again that it was "totally normal" to go through a partners friend list / liked posts because "anyone can see them, they're public". We went back and forth, I was frantic and after we got off the phone, I went through my Instagram and basically purged any attractive female friend I had, and removed any likes I had to any post that might be weird or suspect. From them on I rarely used social media at all - but every few months my ex would find a new friend on my social media she didn't like, or suspected - even after I stopped interacting with social media at all.
This same sort of low-level suspicion persisted throughout our relationship. If I was looking at my phone, she wanted to know what I was reading, who I was talking to, etc. I have never cheated on a partner in my life, in fact I had been cheated on twice - so the sort of dull, constant suspicion really upset me - and after a while it almost felt like she was trying to manifest / discover some kind of secret infidelity. The tragic part is that we got along great otherwise, she loved my (male) friends, loved my family, and we had a relaxed and loving relationship besides occasional flare ups. But the suspicion never went away, or changed - and this sort of underlying insecurity was a constant background white noise of our relationship. She especially took a disliking to my roommates girlfriend, and made it a point to always talk about how much she disliked her, how they weren't going to last - etc (I can't say I blame her, the girl in question was not awesome .. but I never understood why his g/f should have such an outsized effect on our relationship). Despite all this, I thought she was an a kind, empathic, intelligent woman - and I saw a life with her, I saw starting a family with her - as real possiblities.
She grew very attached to my family, which also started to make me wonder what was going on. Many times, first thing in the morning, before coffee or anything else, she'd ask me "how's your mom? how's your dad?" - and would always want to know if she was 'still their favorite'. The first few times I thought it was charming - but it kept going on, to the point I had to push back and ask her "hey, please stop asking me first thing in the morning about the status of my family" ... for reference, I lived on the opposite side of the country from them, and would only get to see them for the holidays (which she was always invited to). I had a very challenging period of my life with my family, from 15-30 my family was fractured, my parents split up, it was messy ... but through years of effort, and time and patience forgiveness, I had built strong, loving relationships with both my parents individually, and my siblings besides. I sometimes got the sense that she even loved my family more than me, and that I was - weirdly - almost an obstacle between her and them. I told her as much, that sometimes I almost was jealous of how much she loved them, and wished that she could point that in my direction sometimes - knowing that they would be part of the package. She never did that same work with her own family - who were deeply dysfunctional, combative and sometimes outright hostile to one another. As crazy as it sounds, I often felt like she was almost trying to reap the rewards of the many years of hard work I had done - without an appreciation for how hard it had been to build new, adult relationships with my parents.
After a year and a half she found a new job, in a new industry, at a high profile company - and for the first six months she was there, she seemed to be able to manage the stress. I asked her if she wanted to maybe find a place together, to move in together for real ... but she kind of brushed it off. I would ask her again every few months, and would be met with the same sort of half-maybe-sorta-we'll-see ...
She suffered a major concussion two years into our relationship, which is when things really started to change. She never went to therapy, or saw a doctor to get treated ... and as the months went by, she became obsessed, almost addicted, to her job. It was all-consuming for her, and occupied all her thought and effort and time ... our relationship became an afterthought, and would mostly be relegated to her staying over (because my apt was closer to her office than her parent's house) - then me cooking her breakfast and seeing her off in the morning - and getting take out when she got back at night. She became more and more locked into her job, and our relationship became more and more platonic and less and less romantic / sexual... which is not uncommon when people are stressed out, or exhausted - but we couldn't seem to find time or space to fix what was happening. We talked, and communicated - but her reaction to stress was to go inside herself, and cut the world off -> and my stress reaction has often been the same.
We grew more and more distant over the next year, I also got a new job that ate up a ton of my time, so we would only see each other for an hour or two in the evenings, or on the weekends when we were up for it. I have a habit of pushing the people I care about away when I am not doing well emotionally .. it's the biggest recurring issue I've had in my life. I've been to therapy for it, and have ways to manage stress including meditation, exercise and a healthy diet - all of which allow me to function. But as the months went by, I got more and more stressed out as we became more distant - and I started to fall apart, and started to feel more and more alone and isolated. I'm sure I could have been better, or more attentive, or more patient ... and I in no way want to trying to pin any blame on her. After all, I'm just 1/2 of the relationship, and 1/2 of the story. After not seeing each other for a few weeks, I had to go out of town for a week for my job - to deal with a long and stressful convention ... and when I came back, we didn't see each other for another week.
I wanted her to come see me, but couldn't come out and say it ... I wanted her to intuit my needs, which she OF COURSE was not able to do. She wanted me to tell her I desperately wanted to see her, which she couldn't articulate because she wanted ME to intuit her needs ... and round and round it went. Lack of communication.
We did see each other eventually, what started as a small disagreement blew up. It started after my ex starting talking about my roommate's girlfriend, or she said something nasty about her. I was upset because we hadn't seen each other in weeks, why would this girl be the first thing on her mind? What about us? I totally overreacted and pushed her away - it was a long and stupid argument, where we both ended up dredging up things from months and years before .. we broke up, she left. In my self-righteous indignation, I felt justified in the moment ... but as the hours passed, and days passed, I was miserable and knew I had made a horrible mistake. My friends at the time told me I'd done the right thing, and that we had long standing issues that I had been mentioning throughout our relationship ... she liked her well enough, but wanted me to be happy, and told me that I had, ultimately, done what I thought was right at the time - and not to doubt myself. But I did, I got fully stuck in my head about it - and was desperate (yes, the D word) to try again.
Over the next few weeks she totally ignored me, wouldn't respond to my calls, or messages. I didn't expect her to - but I practically begged her to give it another chance with me. But she had totally shut down, and in her (later) words "she was never going to speak to me again." She did, eventually, after a few weeks, respond to me. We talked, I apologized, tried to explain that she was the world to me, and I knew I had made a massive mistake, and desperately wanted a chance to try again - to make things right.
She agreed, eventually. We met up for dinner, and slowly talked things out - I was still honestly pretty upset, but we kept seeing each other, started making it a point to go on dates, to get to know each other again. She believed I had cheated on her, that I had met another woman and that this had all been a pretext ... I caught her going through my phone after I got out of the shower. There was nothing to find, but I couldn't believe that she still, after years together, suspected I had been unfaithful to her. But that was just a bump in the road, we talked it out. Things seemed to be getting better. We shared an amazing thanksgiving together, and I genuinely felt like we had turned a corner and were as close as we had ever been ... so did she.
The next Monday, at work, she got another concussion - worse than the first. From this point on, her entire personality shifted ... Which I have learned, in the months that followed, is just something that can happen with head trauma. She didn't want to spend time together nearly as much, she fully retreated into herself, and her family. She wouldn't come visit at all anymore - even if I was willing to pick her up / drop her off ... she would only agree to meet for platonic dinners at a halfway point between our houses. She started seeing a doctor, a neurologist, doing PT work ... but she just kept seeming to get further and further away. If I invited her over, she was always want to know if my roomate's g/f "might" be there, or if we'd be alone ... and if there was even a chance this girl would be there (even though we could spend time in my room, or in the common living room without interference) - my ex would just stay home.
Six or seven months of this went by ... we kept sort of drifting apart, and it seemed like no matter how much I tried to communicate, or bridge the divide between us (which, to be honest, it felt like I was doing 3/4 of the work to keep this thing going) - we just kept drifting. After her second concussion, we stopped being intimate all together ... she was still convinced I had been with other women while we were apart, and demanded I get tested for STDs for her to trust me again. I let my pride get in the way, and should just have done it - but I had not been with or dated anyone else in the few weeks we were apart, and I couldn't get over that she still wouldn't trust me at my word.. after almost 4 years together, I still had to prove myself.
But I didn't, I was stubborn and dug my heels in - so our last potential shot at intimacy evaporated. We became basically platonic buddies ... we still loved each other, said we loved on another every day - but I always felt like I was chasing her, hoping for some kind of emotional connection or breakthrough or common ground that never manifested. By the time July rolled around, I was a total mess ... I felt completely alone, isolated, and like the person I knew and loved had drifted off, and there wasn't a way to get her back. For two months I said that I was really struggling, I was feeling really disconnected and that I missed her all the time - that I wanted to get back to baseline but didn't know how, and that I wanted her help or guidance. She said she felt like she was gradually getting back to where she started, but had no clear picture of how long that might take, and couldn't give me any kind of definitive answer if things would get better again - or how things might get better again.
It never happened. With another month-long work event looming on the horizon, and my stress levels climbing and climbing, I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Eventually, after one of our platonic dates, I had a full on breakdown, and tearfully told her how isolated I was feeling, how I felt like I'd lost her, and how I felt totally clueless how to fix things. She had no ideas to offer, no guidance on how to navigate any of this, and no suggestions how to get back to some kind of baseline. It all poured out from both sides ... she didn't feel like she could trust me ever since we'd got back together, I felt like she neve really let me back in. But we both agreed that that one thanksgiving had been amazing ... and we wished we could find a way back to that place - but had no idea how.
I told her I needed a month, or two, I needed to start seeing a therapist, I needed to put myself back together because I felt like I was falling apart. I told her I wished that we could take a breathe - and come back on more solid footing because I had fucked up when I broke things off before. I had come back from a place of sadness and desperation - and had not given either of us a chance to heal before trying to undo the damage I'd caused. I wanted to meet her on even footing, from a place of mutual strength and try again ...
To her, this was just me breaking up with her again.. which I tried to say "no, I don't want to lose you, but I'm fucked up and need to just right the ship a bit in my life because I am totally losing it ..." But, sometimes it doesn't matter. To her, I was leaving her again, giving up. I had no idea if she'd speak to me again, but I felt so broken I didn't know what else to do.
I took two months, without contact, and started seeing a therapist, started exercising again, got through my hell-month at work. I tried reaching out again to her, multiple times after that ... but I never heard back. A few months went by - I missed her more and more, I didn't heal or get better, I didn't feel like I'd done the right thing. My friends told me I had, my family was supportive - my friends especially have told me time and time again that ultimately, I did the right thing, that I did what was right 'for me' ... but to me, the reassurance didn't matter. There was a giant, gaping hole in my life that I had no idea what to do with. This was a woman I had wanted to marry, that I had wanted to life with, to build and share a life with -> and at one point, I know she wanted the same. I felt so terrible, and couldn't handle the memories of the place I was in, that I resigned from my job (which was ok, it was a horrible grind, that while it paid ok, didn't have any kind of upward mobility) .. and after a lot of thought, I moved back across the country because it was too painful for me to be in that place, surrounded by the memories - living with the ghosts. My friend group had been slowly dispersing, getting new jobs in new cities, having kids and getting on with life - and I didn't see a reason to stay anymore. I debated reaching out to my ex to let her know I was moving - but it had been months without a word, she had not responded to any of my attempts to talk to her, to meet her even for coffee, or to return the few things of hers I still had - and I knew that if I did reach out - it would ultimately be a selfish act, hoping that somehow she might say 'oh no, he's leaving for good' ... so I didn't. I'm still not sure if she knows I left.
I've been saying with family, slowly putting the pieces of my life back together. I'm taking classes, and plan on switching careers into a new field that I may actually am passionate about. I'll find my own place again in a month or two, but truth is I missed my family dearly, and have been helping both my aging parents with years of neglected repairs and yard work - and seeing my siblings and their families again after a decade of living on the opposite coast and getting to see them 'maybe' once a year around the holidays. Plus after paying insane rent to random landlords for over a decade, its been nice to have a few months of feeling grounded, and to put work into where I'm living. My family has been thrilled, and glad to have me around again.
But it's made no difference, really. I still think of her every day. Some days are easier than others, and I can manage to stay focused on classes and work and fitness - but in so many ways my life feels totally hollow now. I'm stuck wondering if I completely fucked up a good thing, and wasted what might have been my last shot at starting a family of my own, of having a real partner. I'm 41, realistically my chances get slimmer by the year. Or maybe I did totally the right thing, and I got out of a degenerating situation that had been nagging at me for months and months that something was deeply wrong. Or maybe it was somewhere in between those two poles. There's no way to know, and I'm limited to my own side, and my own perspective - and trapped in that middle ground of wondering how things "MIGHT" have gone had X Y or Z happened differently. I wish I had some kind of clarity, or certainty, but I don't.
I guess things are getting a bit easier, as the days and weeks and months go by - but its only by fractions of a degree. I miss her, or maybe just miss the person she used to be, if that person still exists. Head trauma is ... complicated - because the person looks the same, sounds the same ... but the person you knew, the person you fell in love with, isn't really the same person anymore. Its almost like, mourning the death of someone who is still alive, if that makes sense.
So here I am, taking it one day at a time, hoping for some brighter tomorrow, some slow healing or revelation or clarity that I did the right thing - but all I have are doubts. There's no closure to be found because all I ever got was silence. I've done everything people have recommended - focused on myself, focused on health and fitness, focus on learning new skills, on meeting new people, gone on dates, focused on family, focused on growing -> but it hasn't helped the giant, gaping hole in my life, and the never-ending uncertainty.
I expect no sympathy, or empathy ... and knowing reddit, I'll get a lot of people piling on to tell me what a piece of shit I am, lol'ing at how I fucked up my own life, and telling me she's better off without me. But then again sometimes even Reddit can surprise you with the insightful and thoughtful responses. More than anything, I just wanted to write this down somewhere, anywhere - to get it out of my head and my heart. Because the more it stews, the worse I feel. Thanks for reading, if you managed to make it this far.. its a long, messy, meandering story without any real ending. Will I hear from her again? Probably not. Will I get over her? Eventually I'm sure ... but what happens between now and then is anyone's guess. What ever it is, it'll happen on day, one moment at a time.
tldr; sometimes things just end - without someone cheating, or abusing the other person, or any real good way to sum it up. Life and relationships are long, complicated, nuanced and messy. Take care all, appreciate what you have while you have it, take it one day at a time

Chapter 3: Dynamic Exist
Memory transcript : Farusl Archivist Tyka Date: 2277 August 21st [human standard time]
Tyka yawned, he had been monitoring several of the predator cages for a while trying to gauge their reactions, these were new catches from another region which was vastly different to the other side of the continent which by comparison was stable, these more eastern humans were almost all completely feral, ascribing totemic tribal practices with lethal weaponry, it was saddening.
“Terrifying creatures these humams….even the Arxur wouldn't be able to survive a total atomic annihilation yet these humans, who by all accounts are physically weaker than the Arxur, seem to have survived remarkibly well”
The calculating tone of the elder Officer Netly said peering over into the security monitor watching the newest catches, most of whome seemed to be violent marauders of some kind,and if the toxicology reports were to be believed extremely intoxicated prior to capture
“Well HC-1380 was clean….it why we've placed HC-2251 with them, they both passed with a clean bloodstream and 1380 seemed….mildly more docile than the other recent arrivals”
Tyka said as Netly raised her muzzle in contempt
“A predator is a predator, docile is not in there nature no matter how docile it may seem”
She said as Tyka openly scoffed
“I will admit many new acquisitions may be more feral than expected but the fact that we HAVE found humans who are not as violent should be seen as a boon, infact the nuclear devastation could be a benefit, they may be more willing to partake in the cure if it means that they can live out of the Wasteland”
“And how exactly would we do that, most of there genomes Are irreparable damaged by atomic Fallout and residual radiation, it would take decades to repair there existing genome let alone provide an appropriate Cure for eating flesh. Let alone there awful gaze” Netly spat indignantly, clearly insulted at the notion of a feral species could ever be uplifted to a proper sentient species is laughable
“Ahh But that's where you are misinformed Netly, you see her?” Tyka said tapping a paw to the monitor, it was the two new arrivals he had discusted eariler
“The scavenger and the pale one? What significant are they?” She asked confused as Tyka let out a slight smirk
“There genetic code suggests limited to no genetic damage, HC-2251 for example has no significant radiological degradation, she's as close as clean as you can get, And according to the lab, her UV intake, the thiny that gives humans bare skin there pigments? Its limbited suggesting a sheltered lifestyle, possibly one with a stable, equally pure gene stock of other untouched humans!”
Netly was shocked to say the least, from virtually every other predator they had captured they had all shown signs of genetic damage or severe mutation due to radiological exposure, of Tyka was correct…there was a possibility that the Original cure that was designed for humanity could be distributed
“If that is true, where could they possibly be located? We have satellites pointing All over the continent and wed be able to see a large, functional human tribe, like those desert tribes to the east” Netly said as Tyka nodded
“If they were on the surface, i postulate that they may be subterranean and i believe the answer likes in 2251s arm mounted computer. We plan on removing it after another checkup but the lab has had troubles devising a method of removing it without killing her since the device Is somehow attached to her by some biometric seals were having difficulties cracking but by her next interview”
Tyka said, and before Netly could respond a security alarm blamed, forcing the two to shift their focus away from there Conversation to the monitors, it was HC-2251 and HC-1380, the two were fighting, Tyka could only imagine it was for dominance, predators were such a precious bunch but at least they lacked claws, that was the thought until a trial of blood was seen spilling from 2251's nose!
“Ancestors! Netly send a security team to break that up and isolate 2251 as soon as possible, if she dies then we loose any lead on finding more undamaged human stock!”
Memory transcript: Abigail Nelson, vault dweller and current show fighter
The hits were all staged but every so often to get across the idea they Were real every other hit randomly connected with enough force to show it, that was Somah’s plan, make them think They were fighting for some reason, Somah had said that fights like these were was drew in security to stun them and break up the fight, which was also Why they didn't want to actually hurt one another, because if one or both of them got hurt they'd not only be separated and isolated like Somah was after her first attempt, and after getting socked In the face and giving her a light bloody nose. It worked as the door opened and in poured…..cocker spaniels? Chest-tall, wall eyed, cocker spaniels in rubber suits welding cattle prods.
In a flash Somah kicked up the metal tray that the measly alien veggies were delivered on, using it to bash in the muzzle of one, drawing the other three's attention away letting Abigail slam her bawled fisted into the temple of one of the aliens, causing it to slam into another causing them both to frankly…..easily drop to the floor, the lot of them whining and whimpering, clutching their heads as Somah grabbed one of their weapons, tossing one to Abigail as Somah made for the exit, having to brush off the shock of alien dog men she followed her new companion close behind.
“Were those…..dogs?” Abigail asked in surprise running along side Somah as the two raced down the hall as alarms blared overhead
“Yeah, I kinda forgot to mention that, didn't I? They look like Pre-War dogs with weird Brahman eyes,” she shrugged nonchalantly to Abbies confusion. The two suddenly stopped in a side room with an air vent, somah watched the corners and seemingly satisfied pulled Abigail in, and motioned her to be quiet. Before she could question why she heard the squeaking of booted paws run past them and somah only spook once the sound seemed sufficiently distant.
“Alright …..we're in the clear, are you ok-” Before Somah could continue she was meet with a smack across her face from Abigail
“That was for hitting me in my nose!” She spat rubbing her once prestigious white jumpsuit with her red viscous fluid leaking from her nose.
“Okay…I deserve that,” Somah admitted, rubbing her cheek “Honestly, I expected something worse, but I deserved it,” She says as Abigial noticed exactly where they were exactly. “Wait….are we in a alien supply closet”
Somah looked around, noticing the abundant sealed boxes written in alien script, one slightly open revealing some kind of rag or cloth That Abigail readily swiped to help stem her nose’s red trickle.
“Okay so, back on track, we need to find a way off this ship, last time I checked were still over Earth” Somah said as Abigail looked back at her
“How would we know?” She asked pinching her nose*
“Because you can feel when the ship moves, and they have announcements in English” She says which just made Abigail’s eyes go wide.
“They speak english?!” Abby said shocked as Somah nodded, “Then why the FUCK would they lock us up without saying anything?!”
She spat as Somah tried to get her to calm down “Honesty, I don't know, the only thing I do know is what I've heard from some of the guards, something about us being Acquisitions and a cure…I think there trying to collect us a labor force for whatever reason”
That reason resonated with Abigail in a disturbing way, the way the cells were arranged reminded her uncomfortably of Paradise Falls
“But why us?” She asked as Somah began looking around the small storeroom
“It makes sense to me, humans survived a nuclear apocalypse and they want a slave force for there homeworld, it's not like humans can fight back in any way, swoop down, suck up a town into your hold and zip away. They're probably checking to see what diseases we have to make sure we don't bring back any plagues and to inoculate us to theirs.”
The logic tracked, Paradise Falls had a rigorous system for assessing new….cattle to ensure they weren't feeble or lame, Just thinking that alone made her sick to her stomach.
“Alright, but we should stop them, force them to capitulate, somehow, and free everyone onboard!” Abby declared as Somah scoffed.
“And how exactly do we do that, Vaulty? “Ask nicely and hold out a flag of peace and tranquility?” She asked sarcastically as Abigail tried to rack her brain. What would Dad do in a situation like this…. This wasn't like the vault….but that's when it hit her. This alien ship…. Maybe it was like a vault, if it's so big and would need alot of…. Well, everything, to move from planet to planet. Maybe, like a vault, if they crippled certain systems, maybe, they could stop them.
“As a matter a fact, I do have a plan”

Abigail said with smirk, removing the now stained towel as Somah raised a brow to her as Abigail regained her plan to her scribe accomplice.

Chapter 3 is done and I feel pretty good about it but escape scenes Aren't my forte im afraid, as usual I adore everyone who reads and enjoys it, I'll have proper links set up to go back to previous chapters sometime later I hope yall enjoy!

You may wonder:

• What cameras do sports photographers use?
• What is the best camera for sports photography beginner?
• How to choose the right camera and lens combo for action shots?

And that’s exactly what I’m here to help you with today.
Here are the top 5 best cameras for sports photography (beginner and advanced folks) across various price points.
I'll also include the recommended lenses for sports for each of the camera body mentioned.
These options work for a variety of events/team sports:

• football
• basketball
• motorsport
• soccer matches (sports moms)
• and/or capture other fast moving objects

Whatever camera you decide to choose, remember, for this photography genre, fast focusing and high frame rate is what you need to look for.
Alright, here's the roundup of the best cameras for sports photography.

1. Canon Rebel T6i

Type: Compact SLR Weight: 555 g Resolution: 24MP LCD: Fully articulated Touchscreen: Yes Weather-sealed: No ISO: Auto, 100-12800 (expandable to 25600)
While the Canon Rebel T6i (or 750D outside the US) is not ‘the latest and greatest’, it’s still a sweet choice in many ways.
Here are my 3 reasons why you should consider it:

• It is one of the best budget-friendly DSLRs for beginner photographers.
• It is one of those fairly compact DSLRs to take on your travels.
• The T6i is a nice low-end DSLR for action shots that you can get under $1000.

The kit lens isn’t good for this genre though!
(The T7i is the newer model but it’s also a bit more expensive.)
Reasons to buy:

• excellent work in auto mode
• continuous shooting up to 5 fps
• large buffer when shooting in JPG
• high quality images up to ISO 3200
• responsive touch screen and tilting display
• video shooting with smooth and fast autofocus

Reasons to avoid:

• the camera is not the latest and the greatest
• a small amount of buffer when shooting in RAW
• non-ideal skin tone when shooting with automatic white balance
• no direct focus point selection when viewed through the viewfinder

Best lens for action shots:

• EF-S 18-135mm lens

Most of the kits come with the 18-35 lenses but those are not long enough, so that’s why you should get 18-135mm lens for sports photography.
Moving on to the next camera.

2. Canon 7D II

Type: Mid-size SLR Weight: 910 g Resolution: 20MP LCD: Not articulated Touchscreen: None Weather-sealed: Yes ISO: Auto, ISO 100-16000
Canon EOS 7D Mark II is one of the most advanced APS-C sensor DSLRs at the moment.
In fact, it is one of the best affordable Canon cameras for sports on the market today.
It’s also one of the best DSLR cameras under $2000 budget (with the kit lens that you can use for this type of photography).
There is no abundance of secondary functions in it common for newer models, but everything a professional photographer or a videographer needs is always at hand.
This is a real workhorse with lots of capabilities.
It has excellent autofocus, both when viewed through the viewfinder, and when using the display. It also has the highest speed of continuous shooting and a large buffer.

Reasons to buy:

• high image quality
• excellent fine-tuned autofocus
• built-in GPS and high battery life
• burst rate up to 10 frames per second
• Advanced ergonomics and fine-tuning controls
• works with two memory cards of different types
• full HD video shooting with an abundance of fine settings

Reasons to avoid:

• lack of 4K video
• comparatively high price
• the screen isn’t articulated
• the screen doesn’t support touch control

Best lens for action shots:

• EF-S 18-135mm lens

As I mentioned earlier this glass is a good one to get because it’s long enough for moving objects. If you’re on a budget, it’s always better getting a used 7D II body but absolutely do get that 18-135mm.

3. Nikon D500

Type: Mid-size SLR Weight: 860 g Resolution: 21 MP LCD: Tilting Touchscreen: Yes Weather-sealed: Yes ISO: ISO 100 – 51200 (expandable to 50 – 1640000)
The truth is...
Nikon D500 is one of the most amazing digital cameras ever produced by Nikon, equipped with a DX format sensor.
The Nikon D500 uses a new 20.9-megapixel CMOS sensor and a new Expeed 5 image processor. High burst rate (10 frames per second) and 153 points of autofocus, located throughout the frame area are an excellent offer for that kind of money!
It is complemented by an inclined touch screen, which makes it even more convenient. The D500 also has excellent video capabilities and allows you to shoot in 4K.
Keep in mind, this Nikon body is not for those who are looking to buy their very first DSLR.
All the charms of this camera will be appreciated only by an experienced photographer, meanwhile it will be difficult/frustrating to master for a beginner.

Reasons to buy:

• excellent ergonomics
• low level of digital noise
• continuous burst rate of 10 fps
• wide DR and a well-stretched RAW
• fast, sensitive and tenacious autofocus system
• quick and convenient focusing in Live View mode
• close to professional video and audio recording capabilities

Reasons to avoid:

• not the latest and greatest gear
• a bit “damp” wireless communication with SnapBridge

Best lens for action shots:

• Tamron 70-200mm

If you use D500 with the Tamron 70-200mm f/2.8 telephoto zoom, then you have an amazing combo to crush it in sports photography. This glass is at a relatively lower price-point.
The new ones are a bit better but the older one will be just a bit cheaper if you are on a lower budget. (Don’t worry you won’t see that much of a difference in the lenses overall).

4. Sony a9

Type: SLR-style mirrorless Weight: 673 g Resolution: 24 MP LCD: Tilting Touchscreen: Yes Weather-sealed: Yes ISO: Auto, 100-51200 (50-204800)
This one is one of the best mirrorless cameras for sports photography (and an official EISA Award winner).
Sony a9 is a high-speed full-frame mirrorless that’s designed to go head to head with Canon and Nikon’s flagship professional DSLRs.
The a9 presents a high rate of burst of up to 20 frames/s, and a large buffer of up to 200 RAW frames, as well as an impressive ISO performance.
Even though smart modes of autofocus (such as focusing on the eyes, Lock-on AF and priority in the recognition of faces) require some time getting used to, they can significantly facilitate your work.
The 5-axis stabilization in this hybrid camera works well (both for photos and videos).
I must say that it’s also great for video shooting:
There is 4K and slow-motion shooting of 100/120 frames/s in Full HD. There is only no support for S-Log profiles, however the rest of the traditionally wide range of features is preserved.

Reasons to buy:

• great ISO performance
• wide dynamic range in RAW
• built-in five-axis stabilization system
• Full HD video shooting up to 100/120 fps
• buffer up to 200 frames in RAW and 360 JPEG
• speed of continuous shooting up to 20 frames/s
• fast and confident autofocus with native and non-original lenses
• accurate color rendering, good work of the automatics and white balance

Reasons to avoid:

• the display may overheat
• the battery life is lower than that of high-end DSLRs
• it is preferable to shoot in RAW at ISO above 6400 for optimum results
• the speed of continuous shooting with a mechanical shutter is limited to 5 frames/s

Best lens for action shots:

• Sony 70-200mm

Given that we are talking about sports, the best lens that’s recommended to buy along Sony a9 is Sony 70-200 GM fixed zoom lens.

5. Nikon D5

Type: Large SLR Weight: 1415 g Resolution: 21 MP LCD: Fixed Touchscreen: Yes Weather- sealed: Yes ISO: Auto, 100-102400 (expandable to 50-3280000)
Without a doubt...
Nikon D5 is one of the best DSLR cameras for any pro level photography, including sports.
Everything in this product, every little thing is set up to ensure a simple and guaranteed result when shooting in any conditions.
1) It’s not afraid of dust and moisture.
2) It easily, if not the best out of all cameras, deals well with the lack of light.
3) D5’s autofocus works so stably and quickly that you simply forget about it.
4) The speed of the continuous shooting and the large volume of the frames in RAW can guarantee you catching the right moment in any photo-shooting scene.
5) The resource of the battery makes it possible to shoot for a day without stopping or limiting yourself with the number of frames.
Nikon D5 is one of the best DSLRs for sports photography today.
It is an excellent choice for those photographers who really do shoot in difficult conditions and are required to guarantee the result

Reasons to buy:

• awesome battery life
• impressive image quality
• silent shooting in Live View mode
• ability to work with two memory cards
• large buffer: up to 200 frames in RAW
• video shooting in Full HD format at 60 fps
• continuous shooting up to 12 fps with autofocus
• dust and waterproof construction and excellent ergonomics

Reasons to avoid:

• no built-in Wi-Fi and GPS
• there is no focus peaking or Log Gamma profiles

.Best lens for action shots:

• Sigma 120-300mm f/2.8

We now established what is the best DSLR if you are into sports.
If you decide to go with Nikon D5 instead of Sony a9 mirrorless, then go with the Sigma 120-300mm F2.8 Sports DG Lens. You'll be blown away.

Best Cameras for Sports Photography: Final Thoughts

Look...
All of the aforementioned products are absolutely great. Some of them are full frame sensor, a couple of them are APS-C sensor (so keep the crop factor in mind).
They are not all expensive cameras. You can find across various price points, whether you are looking for digital cameras for beginners under $1000 or under the $5000 price tag, or more advanced gear for professional sports photographers.
In fact, all of the products mentioned are used by the pros and it shows that the quality really is top-notch (especially Sony a9, Nikon D5, and Canon EOS R with advanced autofocus systems).
Let's have a discussion in the comments.
Leave your suggestions or questions on the best cameras for sports photography (for beginners too).
Do include the following:

• what is your current budget
• what is exactly is that you (plan to) shoot the most

And/or any other thoughts on choosing the gear for action shots!
For example:
What would you recommend to sports moms?
What do you think is the best camera for recording youth sports?
How about video cameras to record team sports like volleyball, basketball, soccer, or football games?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Hi everyone,
so I'm currently on my first reread of both books while listening to the fantasy fangirls podcast (still in the FW discussions) and reading a ton of theories. I've got one myself which I would like to share. If the following text outlining how I got to my conclusions is too long for you, there is a TL;DR at the bottom.
So one theory that I saw multiple times and that I strongly believe in, is that not all dragons are good and all venin are evil per default. Sure, it *might* be this simple. But I can't imagine a) the whole setup in IF and especially its end building up to a problem that is resolved simply by >! Xaden trying not turn evil while they're trying to find an antidote for venin-ism !<. It just feels a little too one dimensional for what we've been set up to expect in this series tbh. b) Rebecca closing herself off to a lot of mind blowing possibilities and aspects to discuss by making it this black and white. Which as far as I have seen isn't really her thing. We're here for all the nuances and twists she's giving us.
So let's assume that it is NOT this black and white and there is room for good in venin and bad in dragons and let's take this thought a little further. It has some very interesting implications.
First off, there is a parallel to the perception of Navarre and Poromiel and the conflict between both regions. The whole population of Navarre and we as readers (at least in the beginning) were set up to believe, that Poromiel is this enemy that wants to hurt Navarre just because they are bad - and nothing more really. But we learned that this perception is just propaganda and not exactly true, Poromiel has a lot of good (and self preserving) reasons to attack Navarre and there are a lot of good reasons to actually see Navarre as the bad guy. But as long as you are convinced of the propaganda and don't learn of Poromiel's POV, your perception of the evilness of Poromiel will be confirmed over and over again (imagine being in an outpost protecting the border and getting attacked by griffin fliers. Of course they will appear evil to you). So with the conflict between Navarre and Poromiel, we have seen that narrative is essential to the perception of good and evil of two sides in a fight. And that there can be some Massive blind spots once you buy into a given (and skewed) narrative.
I think we might be given the same treatment concerning venin in the next books. For now they are the (capital T) enemy. But we honestly don't know much about their motives other than 'need for power' and mostly accept the first information and impressions we get about venin as truth. Venin and their motivations are introduced to Violet and the reader via folklore though, which is notoriously known for exaggeration and simplification and usually does not concern itself with nuance and the question, under which circumstances something that might be dangerous actually IS dangerous and whether there are just motives to perceived evil actions. Further on we learn that similar stories to the one in Violet's book are known in a lot of Navarrian regions (especially at the border), which are also dragon dominated (dragon positivity - yay) regions. So it's safe to say, that the narration aligns with the perspective of the dragons. This goes for Violet's 'the fables of the Barren' as much as the stories that are spread verbally along the regions. And this is the center of my theory.
I belive that venin are not good or evil per se, but I believe that they are (or have become) the mortal enemies of dragons. This I think is safe to assume. After all, their breeding grounds are full of magic and we know, that venin crave it. So they seem to be an imminent threat to the dragons' habitat and offspring. But why do venin want this power? Is it really just for power's sake? Might there be some self-preserving motives? We don't know. But what we know, is that humans believing in the simple 'channeling from earth (where the magic of hatching grounds is and little ones might be in danger) = bad' and 'channeling from the sky (where humans are dependent on dragons) = good' is a very safe and convenient thing for dragons. So they might have a vast interrest in humans believing this. Everything Violet (and therefore we as readers) learn is from the dragon side of conflict. But what if people vs venin is just another Navarre vs Poromial type of conflict and the propaganda we know of just a small part of a larger conspiracy of the dragons not wanting people to have power that they can't really keep in check? What if venin/people channeling from the ground weren't evil once but dragons got them to the brink of extincion because they did not want humans to have power without depending on them and now the venin are fighting back as hard as they can to secure their lives or something else that is worth dying for to them? Something the dragons threatened in their need for sole control over power? What if they don't crave power for power's sake but as a way to ensure their future? What if channeling from the earth is only corrupting the soul when driven to its extreme and could be performed safely with the right intentions, but wielders have been driven to the extreme by the fight the dragons brought to them? I could see a version of the fables of the Barrens, where the dragons somehow convince humans that channeling from the earth is evil and corrupting as a way to restrict the power of independent humans and to secure themselves the place at the top of the foodchain while surpressing their percieved enemies harshly and with deadly consequences.
Thanks for bearing with me. I hope this makes sense and I would love to hear your thoughts about this.
TL;DR: Venin being ultra evil in nature is basically propaganda from the dragons to help their interrests and there might be very justified reasons for all the bad stuff venin do.

Stand name: 「Blue」
Stand user: Dabah D. Dabadye.
Namesake: Blue (Da Ba Dee), song by Eiffel 65.
Localized name: 「Azure」
Power: C Speed: C Range: B Durability: A Precision: E Potential: D
Appearance: 「Blue」has no appearance of its own, only manifesting in the user's ability to affect the environment around him.
Abilities:

• 「Blue Are The Feelings Inside」: 「Blue」is an automatic Stand that activates whenever the user feels a particular strong emotion. The condition's vagueness makes it so the user avoids social interaction and maintains a stoic expression whenever possible. Whenever 「Blue」is activated, the area of about 20 meters (~65 ft) around the user becomes afflicted with an effect associated with his current mental state, along with changing color for anyone inside it, according to the color. People inside the area have a version of the same emotion the user has (for example, if the user is sad from the death of their cat, someone without a cat in the Stand's area may be sad for the death of a parent), while objects become distorted, according to the emotion. The emotions documented by the user, along with the colors and distortions associated with them, are encountered below:
  • Anger - red - objects are molded to resemble spikes.
  • Confusion - dark purple - objects spin, unless stuck, like floors and pillars.
  • Despair - dark grey - objects shake and get cracked.
  • Hope - white - objects shine.
  • Sadness - blue - objects melt from the outside.

​
If this Stand wins this week's contest, I would like the next week's theme to be "Stands based on other anime or manga".

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
Deep in the groaning halls of sinew and bone he awaited his audience with the god. At a wave of his hand the ribs which held up the ceiling contracted, tendons shifting within the pink walls of the chamber as the jagged, calcareous spurs that composed the doorway sank back into the spongy masses of tissue, revealing a passage curving down and out of sight.
Menash stood before the yawning portal and considered eternity. This was no an idle thought: here in the Dawning Chamber, the concept was very real. His father, Yulan, had stood in this exact spot times beyond count. When he was struck down in his prime by the Night Weaver and her Leaper offspring, torn limb from limb as he fought to defend Chthonis from a raiding party, Menash’s uncle, Aqavarr, had carried his broken remains over that grinning threshold to join the hosts of the dead, never to return.
A hot and heavy exhalation rattled up out of the depths, wafting in the acrid scent of the bonding pools and the wet slithering sound of the rebirthing canals. Menash felt a crackle of static in the corners of his mind before the signal sharpened and he heard It whisper distinctly:
“Enter…”
The familiar dread crept its way up the small of his back, and he gave a little shiver. No matter how many times he had communed with the Vitalus, he’d never been able to shake the feeling of his utter insignificance. But he persevered, walking bravely down the slurping passage, past the rows of broad antechambers lining either side of the hallway. Each one held a slumbering shape immersed in a cryogenic bath, towering hulks of muscle encased in ribbed and riveted plates of chitin. No two were alike in size or physiology, but all seemed to emanate the same primeval aura of dread that tickled Menash’s fight-or-flight-instinct, skewing it very much towards the latter response. These were the Hollowores, soulless avatars of the Vitalus, each one a tool capable of eradicating an entire species. As Menash approached, one of the living weapons stirred to life. A pronged, anvil-shaped head emerged from the bath, umbilical feeder tubes detaching from its armored flanks as the rest of its bulk followed, its mauve exoskeleton as sleek and shiny as amethyst. The Hollowore extended legs as thick as grown pine trees and lifted itself above him, its pairs of crushing pincers dripping amniotic fluids as it herded him towards the central room.
Bundles of white gossamer filaments spread all across the floor, encircling steaming pools of pus and acid. He saw arms and legs, sensory organs and entire exoskeletons being knitted before his very eyes, the amino acid chains being stitched on a layer at a time, the weeping pus evidence of microphages fighting off possible infections as the Vitalus did Its work.
These were the next generation of exomorphs, yet to be assigned to their hosts. It was here that Vitalus constantly improved the only thing that could ensure the continued survival of Menash’s subspecies. Exomorphs were bonded to Gallivants at birth, the organisms supplying their hosts with the means to breathe an atmosphere they was never meant to endure, and the strength to fight in a world that was red in tooth and claw. They were as swift as the summer wind and could multiply their host’s muscular power by up to twelve times their natural output.
But for all their God-given might, Gallivants were still mortal. They could and often did perish in the endless struggle for existence that the Vitalus called the Great Game. But even in death they could still commit their essence to posterity, passing down their defining traits through the malleable genetic code of the gilt helix. It was the Vitalus’ greatest boon; through the gilt helix a single individual could become a progenitor of an entire generation, becoming at one stroke the father of whole nations and peoples.
One day he too would prove worthy of the honor that Yulan had earned with his life. But he was not alone in that ambition. Menash was annoyed to find the crimson-clad Vezda and the cowardly Racek waiting for him inside, standing next to a large ball of filaments that hung from a tonsil-like growth hanging from the walls.
This node pulsed, emitting a small storm of bioelectric activity, networks of fungi conveying commands in the form of oscillating voltages to their communities of symbiotic bacteria, the latter containing greigite mineral crystals aligned in the shape of electromagnetic coils. Other networks hidden in the walls modulated and amplified the signals, and the three Gallivants steeled themselves for the onrushing flood of information as the Vitalus tapped into their minds.
He was a candle before the raging heart of the thunderstorm. For an instant Menash touched a fraction of Its intelligence, the divisions of time and space rolling back as they joined the ocean of shared consciousness, becoming one with the living systems of Arachnea. From the tiniest aeroplankton floating above the waves of the golden coastlines, to the herds of ultrapods munching their way through swathes of trees in the savannahs. Menash felt himself pushing up out of the soil, longing and lusting and reaching for the sunlight with a trillion green fingers uncurling, alive with the furious movement of life.
But what was that flicker of orange to the east? That searing heat, that prickling pain spreading like a cancer down his side?
The Vitalus scooped them up and hurled them headlong into hell itself. A roaring wildfire was sweeping into the heart of the eastern rainforests. Menash tasted ash and ruin, felt pieces of himself wither and burn, his branches tongues of fire, wood cracking from the intense blaze, sap boiling instantaneously upon contact and rupturing, splitting him right down the grain. He fled in terror, running, slithering, digging, swimming, flying away in crazed panic from the walls of red death closing in on him. As his skin flaked off in clumps of charcoal he looked back and saw it towering over the treetops, the epicenter of this howling vortex of destruction: the grey behemoth. Its burnished metal hide gleamed like copper, reflecting the fury of the conflagration burning well into the night.
Menash pulled his mind away before it was lost forever in the storm of electric potentials. He saw Racek and Vezda swaying on their feet, breathing hard and fast.
“Heart of the World,” he managed to gasp, “What is your bidding?”
The Hollowore maneuvered itself until it was facing him directly. Tiny beady eyes fixed him in their blank gaze. The node emitted a blue pulse and the creature shuddered as it received the signal. It opened a maw powerful enough to chew boulders into gravel and rumbled:
“This one is the alpha which survived first contact with anomalous variable. It will tell Us what occurred, and from whence this threat emerged.”
“It came from the karst mountain range, where the yellowjacket Amit live,” Menash replied, “It was destroying the largest mound in that area, massacring its inhabitants. It brought the mountain down on them—we’ve never seen anything like it. Zildiz was the first on the scene. She warned us not to approach, and that it was dangerous, but some of us,” here he cast an angry look at Vezda, “Some of us went ahead and tried to scavenge from the bodies of the dying. Then the behemoth ignited the air and burned scores of us to cinders.”
“Irrational. Why did you do this?”
“W-we thought that you had spawned the grey behemoth,” Menash stammered, embarrassed to say the least, “That it was the newest addition to the Great Game, another species of ultrafauna that would help perfect Arachnea.”
“Not so. It was made by an evil far older than the All-In-One,” replied the Vitalus, “It is called a Divine Engine. In cycles past, this evil sought to undo this world and all that inhabit it. In that, it almost succeeded.”
Menash felt his blood run cold at those words.
“Is it the only one of its kind?” Racek piped up. Menash and Vezda both bristled at his interruption; subordinates were only supposed to speak when spoken to.
“There were several deployed here in Our infancy. We had thought them all destroyed in the War of Creation.”
“Your Munificence,” Racek went on, heedless of the venomous looks he was getting from the other two, “Most of us survived because Zildiz persuaded us to dive into the river. She saved all our lives! But as I washed up on the riverbank, I saw the behemoth casting a seedpod into the skies. I did not see where it landed, but it was travelling in a high arc due east. Is this the behemoth’s method of reproducing? If so, then how many offspring can it generate from this one seed?”
The Vitalus met his questions with a minute of silence. Menash had never known It to take so long to respond to a query, and felt another stab of unease in his gut. Unless he was imagining things, the Vitalus seemed genuinely disturbed by the scenario that Racek has raised, enough to convince Menash that the danger was far from hypothetical.
“That is a distant possibility,” It said somewhat cryptically, “Regardless, We cannot allow the Engine’s continued existence.”
“Then it must be destroyed,” Vezda said, her barbed tail eagerly perking up.
“We are not certain that it can be,” the Vitalus said, and Menash heard Racek audibly gulp at the admission.
“But Your Omniscience, you alone are the arbiter of growth and decay,” Vezda said in disbelief, “Surely you can unmake this monster as well?”
“Perhaps. The Divine Engines were built to withstand the extremes of temperature, gravity, atmospheric pressure, acidity and irradiation found on semi-inhabitable exoplanets. Worlds of bareness and desolation, glassed by thermonuclear bombardment or infested with alien microorganisms. In the wars of Our youth, the Betrayers used tungsten-alloy warheads fired from space platforms to crack their bulkheads. Not even Our vessels, the Hollowores, could damage them in any significant way. We will need time to gather the raw materials and fabricate the weapons needed to end this threat.”
“What must we do?” Menash asked.
“If this variable is not dealt with, it could upset the delicate balance We have sacrificed so much to achieve. Already the wildfire it has caused will release close to 400 million metric tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and destroy 2.3 million acres of forest before Our countermeasures can stop it. Time is our limiting factor. If the Engine cannot be destroyed now, it must be restrained.”
“It hasn’t moved an inch since we last saw it,” Vezda said brightly, “Maybe it has already died?”
“Yes, and maybe your mother was a horka toad,” Racek said snidely. Vezda scowled and took a step towards him, then stopped as she remembered that she trod on hallowed ground.
“Not so. It has merely gone dormant. Having expended its fuel, it is now running on the bare minimum of its reserves. My children, you must ensure that it does not wake again. Establish a quarantine zone around the Engine and let none approach, on pain of death. The Leaper kindreds will secure the ground while the Gallivants patrol the skies.”
Vezda and Menash exchanged troubled looks. Nobody wanted Leapers establishing a foothold in what was essentially a buffer zone between their subspecies. Once allowed to settle in a habitat, it would not take long for them to adapt and become masters of their new territory. Ousting them would become a battle of attrition, and given the lower birthrates of Gallivants, it was not one they could long afford.
“Respectfully, we do not require assistance from our brother kindred,” Menash ventured, “We are more than capable of safeguarding the area ourselves.”
The node throbbed again, the bioelectric flashes taking on an angry purple hue. With a sound like the grinding of a millstone the Hollowore clashed its claws together impatiently. All three of the mortals took a hasty step back.
“The alpha will obey, or another will be found that can,” the Vitalus growled at them, “All subspecies will observe a general truce during this period. This is a temporary addition to the Great Game. Those that serve Us well shall be rewarded. We shall also enlist the aid of your terrestrial cousins, as well as the Cataphract clans to replenish the soil, and lone Saints who shall rove beyond the quarantine zone.”
Menash’s unease deepened. The Vitalus was bringing together four different kindreds, some of which killed each other on sight, in a move that reeked of desperation. The kindreds had worked together before, of course, on complex projects such as altering rainfall patterns and husbanding struggling species, but never so many at once. This was bound to end in bloodshed.
“Those that break the truce shall be chemically neutered, and their gilt helix purged from the existing gene pool,” the Vitalus continued, “You will maintain this quarantine until We have dealt with the Engine.”
“It is understood!” Menash and Vezda said at once.
“But what about Zildiz?” Racek blurted out, again risking his entire lineage by speaking out of turn, “She might still be alive out there!”
“He’s right,” Menash found himself agreeing despite his dislike for Racek, “She’s our alpha, after all. It would be a shame to lose her helix. Do we have your leave to send out a party to recover her?”
The Vitalus pondered the request for a moment, then crushed his hopes when it said:
“Regrettable, the loss of the female. Valuable stock for the breeding program. But it has not responded to Our signals—it is unlikely to have survived. The female Vezda shall take up its duties as alpha.”
“But Your Benevolence—” both men cried out in unison.
“It is decided. She has risked the Great Game, and must abide by its outcome. To speak more on this would risk Our displeasure,” the god warned.
“We can’t spare the manpower anyway,” Vezda pointed out, trying not to look too pleased at Its decision. She darted a quick look at Menash, long enough for him to see the selfish desire festering in her heart. He turned away from her in disgust, baring his blades by the slightest of margins to let her know what he thought of her, then asked the Vitalus:
“But what of the Engine’s seedpod? Should we search for it?”
“Negative!” the Vitalus boomed, its node reinforcing the word with a spike of activity that sent needles of pain spearing into their heads, “We shall complete this task. It is dangerous and can be entrusted to no other.”
The Hollowore angled its massive head towards the cavernous ceiling, armored flaps on its back sliding aside as it unfurled sets of rigid sixty-meter wings. A wide sphincter on the roof gaped open and Menash saw the evening sky awash with the stars in their milky multitudes. The Hollowore took a deep breath through the spiracles lining its thorax and abdomen, pumping air through a pair of hollow tube-like protuberances under either of its wings. Menash and the others quickly scampered to a safe distance. Seconds later there was a scream of chemical combustion and the Hollowore rose into the evening skies, leaving behind a long trail of superheated gases, the backwash almost knocking Menash off his feet. They watched as the Hollowore gained altitude, making straight for the columns of billowing smoke on the horizon, a sweeping shadow blotting out the light of the heavens.
The Vitalus’ mental presence receded with it. When it did not return, they took it to mean that they were dismissed and likewise took flight and headed for Chthonis. They were hardly out of the Dawning Chamber when Vezda seized the scrawny Racek by his wings and anchored her feet right up against his back.
“Funny little man, are you? Crack jokes at my expense again, and I’ll see to it that you’ll never fly again!” she snarled, yanking hard. Racek yelled as his wings threatened to pop out of their sockets.
“Stop!” Menash said, ramming his shoulder into her and knocking the smaller male out of her grip. Vezda rounded on him, blades out and her tail aquiver with rage.
“As for you! No one should speak to the Vitalus like that!” she shrieked, “Much less gainsay It! Are you trying to get us all killed? It is the source and continuance of life itself—”
“But the Vitalus doesn’t always consider the individual scale of things,” Menash reasoned, controlling his rising anger as he tried to defuse the situation, “Its scope of thought is beyond ours. Therefore it is up to us to look after each other. None of us can win the Great Game alone. We need people like Zildiz for the species to prosper.”
“Your logic is flawed,” Vezda spat, “Empathy is a sham devised by the selfish action of the gene, which seeks only to preserve itself. At least I am honest enough to look after my own interests. Your obsession with that whore is misplaced. Heed my words, Menash. What happened today marks a change in the Great Game. Only the ruthless will reap the rewards of this era. Think on that, and act accordingly.”
The female darted off in another direction, leaving the two behind.
“Thanks,” Racek said, rubbing at his sore shoulders, “My, my. She’s really taking her promotion very seriously, isn’t she?”
“This doesn’t make us friends,” Menash said shortly, “We share a common interest, that’s all.”
The two flew together in silence for a time, the dark canopy unrolling below their feet. Racek had always been a bitter rival for Zildiz’s affections. In the mating seasons he and Menash had flown the damsel-dance against each other countless times, racing and dogfighting at top speed through the dense bamboo thickets in an effort to impress her.
But each time she had always chosen Menash. Naturally. He was the stronger, the braver, the son of the Scourge who had slain hundreds on his lightning raids into Leaper territory. Their pairings had been brief and passionate, yet she had always laughed at the end and gone on her merry way, a rose petal borne on a scented breeze, the dalliance as meaningless to her as other concerns like eating or breathing.
But not to him. Right now, all that mattered was her. And Racek was the only one in the whole wide world who knew exactly how he felt. Did that mean he could be trusted? Menash considered the enormity of what he was about to do, and wavered. Then he saw her face in the darkness of his home, the face she wore when they were all alone together, and he took a deep breath before breaking the silence, saying:
“I’ll be in charge of the quarantine. I can arrange for you to disappear for a few days. I can have one of the younglings mimic your magnetosynaptic signal, make it seem like you’re with the rest of us.”
“You’d do that? For me?” Racek said in astonishment.
“Hah. Not for you,” Menash laughed softly. He looked Racek straight in the eyes and continued: “What’ll it be, then?”
If he so much as hesitates, I’ll have to kill him here and now, Menash told himself.
“Why, yes. Yes, of course!” the little brown male said vigorously.
“Good,” Menash sighed with relief, “She’ll be very grateful to whoever brings her home. I’d do it myself, but as an alpha I can’t risk being seen as disobedient.”
“Then why give me this chance? After all that’s passed between us?”
“I should have thought that was obvious,” Menash replied. Racek digested that for a bit, then out of nowhere said:
“If I find her—when I find her—I’ll tell her exactly who it was that sent me.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Bah! Just so we’re even, that’s all,” Racek grinned, his mouthparts slanting askew.
“Thanks, I guess. I’d…I’d appreciate that. You do understand what we’re risking here, right?”
“Sure. We’ll be total genetic write-offs if we’re caught. But it’s not like I wanted to see tiny ugly Raceks running around the house anyway. What about you, though? Why are you putting your neck on the chopping block?”
“You know why,” Menash said quietly, his thoughts still lingering on her face.
“Yes,” Racek agreed with a wistful air, “Yes, I suppose I do.”
And the pair spoke no more until they reached Chthonis.
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
The Colonel’s tent was leaking again. Ordinarily such a mistake would’ve earned his adjutant an hour-long dressing down and possibly, if the Colonel was feeling particularly enthusiastic, a sharp backhanded slap across the face. After all, a leaky tent could hardly be said to be hermetically sealed, now could it? But this affront to his sensibilities paled in comparison to the utter travesty and exemplar of sheer incompetence that now sat before his desk, a sagging wreck of a man in the tattered uniform of a Fleet officer. Colonel Moch Leelan curled his lip at it and barked:
“Once more, if you please. And I don’t want this on record,” he added, darting a look at the clerk poised to take dictation in the corner of the room, “Not a word of this gets out. There’s been enough of a snafu already, and the brass won’t stop shitting down my neck about Mound 13 and the loss of Prota’s pestilential pet project. Did you hear me, man? I said start from the beginning!”
Outside the monsoon was intensifying into one of those proverbial downpours which prompted doddering old men to remark that it was ‘raining cats and dogs’, though what either a cat or a dog were, none could now say. A trickle of it seeped in like a string of winking glass beads, catching the orange glow of the gas lamp and turning into sparks of amber, into seeds of flame. They dripped on the bald man seated on the low footstool, and he raised his head to meet the scornful gaze of the Colonel, grey eyes unabashed and unafraid. He spoke then, in a hoarse voice that matched his pallid flesh and buzzard nose:
“It was the third day of reconnaissance. We were forced to abandon our pack-beasts in the mire. My assistant and I—”
“Name, rank and serial number!” Colonel Leelan interrupted, for the sole purpose of seeing the coward blink and quaver like the worm he was. But in that he was to be disappointed, for the man continued in the same flat tone:
“Sollem Deschane, Lord Navigator, 3^rd Pathfinder Regiment, serial number 18911944. We received orders from the Admiralty and Fleet Command to reconnoiter the area around the enemy concentration designated as Mound Euler. I was to lead a platoon of twenty handpicked volunteers across the river Foss at its lowest point, then scale the outlying cliffs to get better readings as we mapped out the approaches to Mound Euler. It was the third day of reconnaissance. We were forced to abandon our myropods in the mud and carry our own gear. My assistant navigator Rene Louvoture and I noticed a discrepancy with our visually confirmed data and the aerial sketches of the Aeronautical Division. We quickly worked out that the enemy concentration far exceeded initial estimates by an order of magnitude. Mound Euler is an omega-class colony the likes of which the Fleet has faced only once in its entire existence, during the Scouring of Assail. It is my belief that—”
“Leave your hysterics for later and get on to meat of things,” Leelan snapped. Deschane straightened a bit in his seat and scowled as his layers of bandages shifted. The man was practically mummified by the sheer extent of his wounds that it was a wonder he had managed to limp into the tent in the first place. But the navigator had made a point of refusing to be debriefed in his sick bed and had insisted that he be given no further pain killers. This was to prove that his report was not at all influenced by the effects of opiates, as well as to underline the supposed importance of his eyewitness account as the sole survivor of the siege of Mound 13.
But Colonel Leelan was no fool. He knew the tactic for what it was: a bit of playacting by a soon-to-be-disgraced officer, a desperate attempt to pass himself off as a tragic hero rather than the author of the most monumental military cock-up of the decade.
You may very well get that wish, Deschane, Leelan smirked inwardly. If you play your cards right. You’ll find that I can put on a pantomime as well as the next man.
Deschane regarded him cooly, replying:
“You asked for my report, sir. I am stating the facts as I understand them.”
“Understand?” Leelan guffawed, “There’s precious little to understand about this debacle! Explain to me how a routine scouting mission winds up in the loss of 5,000 men, a Rear-Admiral and an entire frontline outpost! Explain to me how you not only got every last one of your own men slaughtered, but still managed to save your own sorry arse!”
Now that had an effect on the navigator’s bearing. He dropped the holier-than-thou attitude and even pretended to dab at some moisture in corners of his eye. For a moment his mask of iron cracked and he looked tired enough to sleep for a thousand years, never to waken. Then he seemed to recall that his career was at stake and had the temerity to argue with the Colonel:
“We were given faulty intelligence. I made mistakes, I’ll admit that here and now. We should never have continued after our pack animals were trapped in the mire. The gear slowed us down in enemy territory. I can’t wash my hands of the loss of my platoon. They were the best and bravest men I ever fought with, and I will carry the shame of losing them to my grave. The fact that I am still alive when none of them are breathing is an accident that was not of my choosing. As for Mound 13, it was only a matter of time before they were discovered and dealt with. They were only two day’s travel from Mound Euler. In fact, it was miracle they managed to exist for so long undetected.”
Magnificent deflection. Colonel Leelan had to admire the snake and his flawless attempt to pass the blame onto the shoulders of the dead Rear-Admiral Prota.
Yes, I think we can make an arrangement here, the Colonel thought wryly. He waved Deschane’s prattling aside and said:
“This omega-class colony of yours. A mound so large that is beggars belief, you say? Curious, then, that such an object should have escaped your keen senses for three whole days!”
“Visibility in that terrain and climate is poor. But yes, it was another one of my errors.”
“I’m so glad that you agree,” Leelan purred, his words dripping with condescension. He reached into the drawer of his desk and took out a bottle of fermented honeydew. Uncorking it with a loud pop, he poured out two glasses and lifted one to his lips, saying:
“On a related note, it’s funny how the fog of war can obscure so many important details. Even the best commanders can lose their bearings, lose sight of the greater picture, fixate on the wrong things. Take our dearly departed Rear-Admiral Prota, for example (may she rest in the Flight Eternal). Not to speak ill of the dead, but she was assigned an entire sector for her research into enemy behavior. And what does she do with it? Cultural studies! Anthropology! As if the Amits have a culture worth sneezing at! They’ve been working with flint and wood since this primeval war of ours began, and they’ve never taken the hint. Meanwhile, we’ve finally gained the advantage of powder and artillery and mass-produceable gas masks.”
“One big push! That’s all it would take to clear the northern highlands. We have the men, the will and the technology to do it! The last thing we need is some starry-eyed academic telling us that the Amits have somehow found religion. I mean, really!” Colonel Leelan warmed to his subject, “Five thousand soldiers dedicated to safeguarding some blessed cave paintings, right on the frontlines, too! What a waste. Like you said: if you hadn’t led the Amits directly to them, someone else would have down the line.”
“We took steps to ensure they wouldn’t follow us. We tried, but they found the fear-death pheromones—”
“Steps?” Leelan pressed him mercilessly, “What steps, exactly?”
Deschane looked away and said nothing. Leelan sniffed, continuing:
“I thought so. As I was saying, Prota’s project was doomed from the start. It was an ill-conceived, harebrained mission, and now the Admiralty will have to explain to Fleet Command and the general public how it lost an entire regiment in the name of some woman’s flight of fancy. But there is a silver lining to all this. Seeing as how we recaptured what was left of Mound 13 within mere hours of it falling, we think there’s a way to salvage the situation after all. You can be part of that, Deschane. Every victory may have its price, but it must also have its heroes.”
Leelan sipped his honeydew, waiting for the offer he’d made to sink in. Deschane smiled, a humorless crack in his granite features.
“You’re going to make me a hero?” he asked. Leelan nudged the other glass towards him, shrugging:
“And why not? Someone has to wear the medals. ‘Lone Survivor of Desperate Last Stand’,” Leelan exclaimed, dramatically forecasting the future headlines, “He tried to warn them, but did they listen? You get the rest, I imagine. We’ll have to improve some of the details, of course. Like how it was the 3^rd Pathfinder Regiment which held back the flood of Amits in the final hour and ignited the fortress’ ammo depot—”
“We never did that,” Deschane objected, rudely cutting off Leelan’s train of thought, “It was the Divine Engine. I saw it with my own eyes. It broke out of Mound 13 and slaughtered the enemy.”
Leelan sighed.
“Not this again. Deschane, I’d appreciate it if you’d save your hallucinations for the regimental shrink. Think, man! The honor of our unit is at stake here. You have a chance to redeem the men of your platoon, even if you can never truly redeem yourself.”
“I saw it,” Deschane growled, and for a moment Leelan almost reached for his ceremonial saber hanging by its belt on his coatrack, “Sir, it left footprints the size of—”
“For heaven’s sake, you witless worm, the earthquake was felt all the way in the Southern Delta! Not very big one, but certainly enough to account for the avalanches and landslides that took place around Mound 13, not to mention the sinkhole we found you snoring in! It’s certainly not the first time an uncontrolled detonation triggered a seismic event. Deschane, I’ll only say this once: either you get your story straight or by thunder, I’ll bury you so deep in shit you’ll start to think you’re made of it! And you are! If you breathe a word of this delirious vision of yours to the press, you’ll not only receive no medals, but I’ll have you court-martialed faster than you can say ‘diddly-squat’. Which is precisely what you’ll be left with unless you jump like a good boy and ask how high. No honor, no rank, no reputation, no pension. Nothing! Do you understand?”
Colonel Leelan wrathfully thrust the glass at Deschane, spilling most of it in the process.
“Well, do you?”


Deschane hobbled out of the tent, escorted by a pair of grenadiers in fluffy white shakos. They sealed the adhesive lining of the tent airlock after him and the Navigator went on his way, the taste of honeydew lingering on his tongue like a bitter poison. He lifted his mask and hawked up a gob of spit that eloquently described his opinion of the colonel, wiping his scowling mouth with the back of his hand.
Ven was waiting for him with the crutches, a young and rather portly corporal with apple cheeks and a worried, pouting mouth. She helped Deschane as he made the slow and painful walk across the encampment to his field tent, the lord navigator deep in thought. Along the way they cut across the central avenue of the camp where a seemingly endless artillery train was lumbering its way up from the south and curving around the broad talus skirts of Gorgo Plateau, teams of scuttling myropods hitched to six or twelve-pounder guns, their hundreds of tiny legs threshing the soil into a quagmire. Behind them, plodding dejectedly into the rapidly liquefying mud, were ranks upon rank of fresh colonial levees, their brand-new sealant suits creaking loudly at the joints as they made what for most of them would be their first expedition into the surface world.
And what a foray it would prove to be. Almost two hundred thousand men amd women were mustered here at the edge of civilization, poised on the cusp of what was to be the largest surface offensive in recorded history. The Fleet had arrived in the Northern Hinterlands, and it had come to conquer.
"Gangway!" the levees hollered at Ven as she tried to cut a path for Deschane through the line, "Can't you see we's marching 'ere, ya stoopid bint?"
"He's an officer, ain't he?" she screamed back, pointing at the navigator.
Upon noticing the faded chevrons on Deschane's shoulders some of them clumsily snapped to attention, stopping in their tracks. Their comrades behind them, oblivious to this turn of events, bowled right into them, causing a minor stampede. Men and women cursed as they dropped their pristine muskets, never fired in the heat of battle, into the churning soup at their feet, or themselves went sprawling on their hands and knees. Baton-wielding sergeants descended on the mess, screaming for them to get back up, generously assisting them with a boot to the rump or a smack on the side of the head. Deschane looked back at the display for a long moment, as if considering something. Abruptly he grunted at Ven and they continued on their way to the outskirts where the Pathfinders were billeted.
She waited until they were inside the tent and Deschane was back in his sick bed, the navigator turning his back to her in stony silence. Cautiously, she ventured:
“What now, sir?”
“Draw up a list of volunteers,” he rasped, “But do it on the sly. We’re going back out there."
"Very good, sir," Ven squeaked, and went scurrying out of the navigator's chambers, sealing the tent flap softly behind her. She knew that tone and what it signified: the lord navigator had made up his mind, and heaven help whoever would stand in his way.
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

You know what the best part is about playing Engineer in Team Fortress 2? You get to watch how angry everyone gets when they get shot by your sentry guns. Me and my best friend Jose both main Engineer, and can confirm that the best way to spend your Friday nights after school is to set up a sentry and get ready for the rage. There’s been matches where we haven’t even used our actual guns even once, but racked up lots of kills just because of the sentries.
One day Jose called me up with an idea that was either going to be the stupidest thing ever or the smartest thing ever. He wanted to fill an entire team with only Engineers and watch the chaos unfold. I couldn’t stop laughing at the mental image in my head and agreed with the plan. I joined a Discord server with everyone else on the team.
I convinced my cousin Matthew to join, and he in turn brought along his little brother Zack. According to Matthew, it took quite a bit of convincing because Zack was a Scout main who couldn’t stand Engineers. He eventually got through to his little brother by promising him a Steam gift card. I even got their dad Graham to play along (yes, I have an uncle who plays TF2. How cool is that?). Jose enlisted his friends, who turned into friends of friends and soon enough we had a team of 16 Engineers.
To say that we caused chaos that night was an absolute understatement. As soon as we joined the game the text chat was flooded with messages from the other team wondering what the hell was going on. And they only got worse from that point on. We surrounded our control points with a ring of sentries that people just kept running into. I saw keyboard smashes and heard other teen boys’ voices crack in rage and many, many words that I personally don’t care to repeat here.
The most skilled Engineer was this guy named Craig, who was a friend of one of Jose’s friends. Not only was he the main person capturing the enemy control points with some very strategically placed teleporters, but he was also really friendly and encouraging to all of us. I didn’t know what he looked like, but from his voice it sounded like he was in his early 20s.
Me and Craig started to chat more and more on Discord. He was a super nice guy who was also really fun to talk with. He took time out of his day to teach me how to be an even better Engineer player. Whenever someone started dissing me in the voice chat, he firmly told them to leave me alone. After seeing my fair share of toxicity in the TF2 community, it was nice to know that this complete stranger was looking out for me.
This whole Team Engineer thing became a weekly tradition for us on Friday nights. It was something everyone could look forward to after work or school. One time after everyone logged off and said their goodbyes, Craig sent a message a few hours later in our Discord:
“You guys gotta check this out. I found the weirdest server ever. It’s literally Engineer heaven. Meet me at vl_sentry.”
I was still in the mood to play and I could stay up late tonight, so I hopped back on TF2. I saw that Jose, Graham and this other girl we played with named Lynn were also online. I found vl_sentry and connected to the server. The map was called Valley of the Sentries and it was created by Valve.
It took my computer a little bit to process the map, and it took me even longer than that to process what I was seeing.
The map looked like a chessboard with 3D-sculpted hills. The sky was just pure white. Not even white walls, just the color white. Every square had a blue sentry on it and there were about 4 or 5 other Engineers jumping around, spamming their voice lines. That’s when I realized that we were the only ones there, and there was no red team.
“Hey Sean, glad you could make it :)” Craig said in the text chat. “What the hell is this?” I asked. He told me that this was a server that one of his friends showed him. The friend said he was introduced to the map by a friend of his who knew someone who worked at Valve. Craig then went on to explain that apparently Valley of the Sentries was an experiment to test the limits of the sentry guns and their effect on the servers. Rumor has it that the map is infinite.
“Check this out.” said Jose. He switched to Heavy and immediately got shot down. All of the sentries turned towards him. There were so many of them that it made the game lag a ton. He respawned as Engineer and the sentries just kept on spinning.
“WTF?” I typed. “We tried it with all the other classes and it does the same thing.” said Craig. “It ignores Engineers, but shoots everyone else.” Lynn added. “And that’s why we’re the best class. Engineer power!” Graham joked.
I asked what would happen if you were to play as Spy and sap one of the sentries. “I tried, but you gotta have a godly reaction time to activate it.” said Jose. As soon as he said “godly reaction time”, I knew I had to try it out just for the bragging rights.
Respawn. Shot down. Respawn. Shot down. Respawn. Shot down.
Yeah, I did not have a godly reaction time. The others kept spamming “lol” in the chat each time I failed. I got annoyed pretty quickly and stopped trying. Then out of nowhere, all the sentries turned away from me and started firing at someone. I turned around and all five of us were still standing there. I looked at the top bar that shows how many characters were in the game. There were only five Engineers and they were all on the same team. So what the hell were the sentries targeting?
I started to walk in the direction that the sentries were facing and Jose followed me too. We moved really slow, not only because of the sentries on every square but also the uphill climbs. It was just us two in the chat for a while, talking about seeing each other back at school on Monday while we made our slow walk across the map. Then our conversation was interrupted by a chat message from Lynn.
“Why is there a man in the sky?”
Me and Jose tried to get to Lynn to see what she was talking about as fast as possible, but we moved like snails. To get back to the spawn point, we both switched classes, instantly died and respawned as Engineers. I don’t think we respawned in the same place we started from. I don’t even know where we respawned. There were no landmarks or notable things to help you find your way. Just hills, valleys, and sentries.
I asked Lynn where she was and she just told me she was with Graham and Craig. Only that wasn’t very helpful because we didn’t know where they were either. We stood there, stumped for a minute and a half until Jose got an idea. He said that she should just switch classes and respawn, because then all of the sentries would point toward her and we could follow them all the way back to her. She made the switch, got shot down, and we instantly knew where to find her.
We finally got close enough to kind of make out the vague shape of a few Engineers over the non-existent horizon. Me and Jose were relieved, until all the sentries pointed to our right. I swiveled around and saw them open fire on…nothing. I checked with Jose to see if he caught something I didn’t, but he also didn’t see what they were shooting at. I decided that it wasn’t that important and continued to walk towards the rest of the group.
We met up with Lynn, Craig and Graham, disappointed that we made that trek all for nothing. Even though we were all together now, it just felt so lonely. The only sound coming from my computer was the constant beeping of the sentries in perfect sync. I don’t know why, but it made me so uneasy. I attempted to break the silence by going to the voice lines and playing the iconic Engineer “Nope” soundbite. It echoed across the checkered land with no response.
It was about 12:30 AM at this point and I was starting to feel more and more unsettled with each passing minute. There was just something about this black and white world that I felt creeped out by. Before Craig invited us to come over, there was no one else on the server. Who would even want to play on this map, anyways? It’s so unfairly balanced that only one class can survive. Movement speed was super slow, and you can’t even really do anything except watch the sentries turn and turn and turn forever. It was like hypnosis, except I didn’t feel sleepy or relaxed at all.
Speaking of being sleepy, Jose said he was getting tired and was going to be logging off. We all said goodbye to him and continued chatting amongst ourselves. It sounds stupid, but my stomach dropped when I saw the fifth Engineer portrait disappear. One less person to talk to. One less person to keep myself from wondering what else was out here. I could have sworn that after he left, the beeping got louder.
“So is this map actually infinite?” asked Graham. “Only one way to find out.” Craig said. “Just keep on walking and see if it goes on forever.” “Why don’t you just fire a shotgun and see how far it goes?” Lynn suggested.
I took out the shotgun and fired. The bullet flew off into the white distance and disappeared.
Then I heard the distinct sound of someone getting shot.
A message appeared in the chat, from someone named sentry_check_pattern.
“sentry_check_pattern: stop that”
Once again I looked at the top bar. It just showed four blue Engineers. That meant we were the only ones on the server. Or so we thought.
The chat was flooded with our confusion, almost as if everyone realized at the same time that something wasn’t right. None of us moved an inch.
“What even is this place?” I asked, hoping that the mysterious user would provide me with an answer. “Must be Engineer heaven.” said Graham.
“sentry_check_pattern: more like my personal hell”
This was the moment that made me trust my intuition. I knew there was a reason why I found this map so creepy. I wanted to leave the server, but there was just one thing keeping me back- my own curiosity. My wish to unveil the mysteries of the Valley of the Sentries.
“Okay this is really freaking me out. See ya guys.” said Lynn before she left the server. The fourth Engineer’s portrait disappeared from the top bar.
No no no, please. Please don’t go. Don’t leave us. I wouldn’t want to be alone here. Now there’s just three of us, and I really hope that number doesn’t go down anymore. When the others were here, this was just a weird TF2 map that we were exploring together as friends. And now it feels like we’re trapped in this infinite world, but we aren’t alone. The only problem is we don’t know what else is here.
I shuddered, imagining Craig and Graham ditching me and leaving me all alone in the Valley of the Sentries. Just me and whoever- no, whatever was talking to us.
“sentry_check_pattern: you don’t know how good you have it
you can leave at any time
i can’t”
This terrified me. What a horrible thought, never being able to leave this place. But of course, no one could really be trapped here. It’s a Team Fortress 2 server. You can just exit the game and shut your computer. No one could be trapped in a video game.
But if you think about it, aren’t the characters themselves trapped? They can’t leave the game. They’re characters. They don’t even know they’re in a game. You or the computer controls all their actions. They don’t have free will. And if you’re bad at the game, they’ll just keep dying over and over again.
Wait, why was I thinking about this?
I carefully considered what I wanted to say next in the chat. Whatever I said could either answer all my burning questions or leave me asking more. But sentry_check_pattern talked first.
“sentry_check_pattern: i was made for one purpose
to die over and over again”
Oh my god. It was like this person read my mind and knew exactly what I was thinking about. Who or what was I talking to? I turned all the way around to make sure that no one else was there. It was just the two blue Engineers standing behind me. Just Graham and Craig. And that man with the checkered skin.
Startled, I asked my friends if they saw what I saw. It took them a second, but both of them confirmed that yes, there was indeed something else there. A basic male model with the same chessboard texture as the map. Graham immediately started to shoot at him. Nothing. It just went straight through him.
“sentry_check_pattern: you can’t kill what’s already been killed millions of times over
valve made that mistake too
every company has that one failed project they don’t talk about
and that’s me”
Whoever was behind this weird account was talking crazy. The Team Fortress 2 developers were very open about everything like fixing their glitches and bugs. They always posted things on the official blog about the development process. They’re so open about their failures and always promise to fix them.
“Stop with the weird stuff. We just wanted to know what the deal is with this server and the weird chess guy. Do you know anything about it?” Graham asked in the text chat.
“sentry_check_pattern: know anything?
you’re not very bright, graham
none of you are
do you not realize where you are and what you’re talking to”
Something about the way sentry_check_pattern used Graham’s name gave me goosebumps. I didn’t know what I was talking to. I didn’t even think I wanted to know at this point.
“sentry_check_pattern: this is one of valve’s test servers
i’m the texture they use to check if the sentries work
read between the lines”
“Quiet, NPC.” Craig said. I laughed a little bit to fight off the awkward tension. Then I reminded myself that I was talking to a video game character, no- not even a character. A blank character model. A texture.
“sentry_check_pattern: just because i’m a character model doesn’t mean i can’t feel pain
open fire”
The sentries all swiveled around to face the man and shot at him. He kept falling to the ground, turning white and standing back up in the same position.
“sentry_check_pattern: cease fire”
All of the sentries stopped shooting and just went back to spinning around, their beeps echoing in the air.
“sentry_check_pattern: ready to see what i’ve been through for over a decade?
open fire”
Before any of us could react, the sentries opened fire on Craig all at once. He kept dying, but he didn’t explode the way you’re supposed to when you die in TF2. He just dropped to the floor, turned white, and respawned over and over again. There was no death scream. I tried to type something else in the chat but the game lagged so much that my typing just ended up as a string of random letters that meant nothing. Craig tried to type something out too. It just ended up as “wwwwwwwwwwthisishowitfeelswwwwwwwww” Then the game crashed and my computer shut down.
I hyperventilated. Then I laughed at myself for hyperventilating over a stupid computer game. It was Team Fortress 2 for god’s sake. That game with all the memes and goofy jokes. Stupid, stupid Sean. Scared of a character model. Jose would never let me live it down. I just laughed and laughed to push the fear away.
I closed my laptop and took out my phone to rewatch all of my favorite TF2 animations for the millionth time. As if they weren’t already the funniest things in the world, I forced myself to laugh even harder than usual. Every time I saw the Engineer, I couldn’t help but look at the reflection in his goggles. The reflection of an endless map of black and white squares.
Thankfully, nothing bad happened to my game, account or laptop. The next day I just went right back to playing and enjoying the rage coming from all the people who ran right into my sentries.
Team Engineer was still a thing, but it was never really the same. We played together a lot less frequently. It was still a lot of fun, but I felt a change that I couldn’t really describe.
We found out that Craig had lost all progress on his TF2 account. Everyone gifted him all his favorite cosmetics and we all pooled our money together to get him a Steam gift card. He video called us, crying at our kindness. It was the first time I ever even saw his face. He was a lot older than most of us. If I had to guess an age, I’d say somewhere around 30. He had black bangs and was wearing a TF2 shirt. His room was dark, only lit by his glowing computer screen. He thanked us repeatedly and even tried to return the gift card, but we were all adamant that he should keep it.
Speaking of Craig, we still kept in touch but he didn’t talk to me as much anymore. Any time I tried to ask him about vl_sentry, he ignored me for a few days.
The other day, I got some postcards from my cousin Matthew. He was very academic and happened to be studying at a private high school about 9 hours away from where I live. All of his postcards were pictures of him making funny faces with all his friends at favorite school activities like robotics, debate team, and chess club.
I looked at the chess club photo closely. Matthew and his friends were standing in front of a chessboard with a mirror on the wall. And for a split second, I could have sworn that the chessboard looked different in the mirror. It looked warped, like it wasn’t a flat board anymore. Like it almost had hills and valleys. No, it couldn’t be. I rubbed my eyes. There, in the mirror was a checkered man. I knew it was there. I swear on my mother’s life that there was another person in that photo. And then it was gone. Maybe the picture was just printed badly. But I had to make sure my eyes were right.
So I brought the postcard to school with me and I showed Jose. I asked him if he saw the checkered man in the mirror. He said no. But that wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. That was the answer I hoped I wouldn’t hear. I asked him again. He said no again. Then I asked him another time. He said I was being annoying. So I asked another one of my friends. He said no too. So I moved on to yet another friend. He told me to stop.
I angrily clutched the postcard in my hand, crumpling it. I was the only one that saw what was really there. Everyone else was lying to me. They refused to see the truth.
I screamed and ripped up the postcard. I stomped on its pieces. I rubbed them in the dirt for good measure.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard the sound of electronics beeping.
It rang in my ears.
It was weirdly comforting to me.
You can leave the Valley of the Sentries. But the valley will never leave you.

It's been over a month since my operation, and my spice tolerance has decreased significantly. It's all because of the soft part of the roof of my mouth. I experience a lot of dryness if I talk a lot. If I eat spicy food, a white coloring appears. With foods that are relatively hot, which I used to be able to eat, I can’t eat them anymore, or these cyst-like things will appear, though they usually go away overnight. I'm very confused by these symptoms. My throat is fine, and the area where my tonsils were operated on is fine too. It's just the roof of my mouth; did they take a layer of skin?

Deak's arm was still pretty sore, and he thought about asking if they could stop in the next town. Even if Dad said no to seeing a doctor, they might stop at a convenience store and he could maybe sneak a little bottle of pain pills in among the pile of sweets Mom would film him buying. Even better if he found one of those gel packs that you could use hot or cold and convinced Mom they needed it for when Dan or Dally or Davie got a bump or bruise. It wasn't medicine, really, so she'd probably go for it.
But all of that would mean bringing up stopping, and while Mom might go for it, Dad never would. Dad only stopped when God moved him to, or when they needed to fuel up.
Sometimes, Deak thought about sneaking out at night and figuring a way to siphon the main tank empty, just to strand them somewhere and show Dad what was what. Sometimes...
Sometimes Deak wanted to stay some place a while.
This whole trip was probably a bad idea. Mike tried not to look up from his phone unless he had to, but his sister kept trying to draw his attention to cool stuff she saw outside the window, and sometimes her husband...
Gawd, it was weird to think of that thing as a guy.
Still, his parents had decided he needed to spend the next year living in bum-fuck nowhere with Uncle Ken, and his sister and the thing were driving this way anyhow to check out some shitty little town they wanted to move to, so he ended up sent along.
"It'll be like a family vacation again!" Jenna had said, and Mike nodded along like it was all good.
Sure, it was basically a vacation for her and the freak. For Mike, it was just an inevitable trek to be warehoused for a year so his parents could work on their shitty marriage. He was barely even getting to bring any of his stuff, since he'd be going home next summer, and that sucked. At least he had his computers and guitars, and two portable game systems, plus of course all his clothes; still, he already missed his room and all the things left behind in it.
The only thing he wouldn't miss about home was his parents. All their stupid bullshit was annoying, with the arguing over petty shit. Oh, and the way they treated him like a toddler. Sure, he forgot stuff or did dumb shit sometimes; everyone did. That was no reason to treat him like a drooling loser.
Maybe this trip was a good thing after all.
Table of Contents

Bill Rogers locked the garage door, slid the hose into the driver’s side window, climbed into the back seat, laid down and shut his eyes. When he woke up, he was surrounded by clouds and a blue sky. A man, neither young nor old stood next to him. He wore a coat like an Afghan goat herder, Bill thought, maybe made of sheepskin, or cowhide—tough to say, as Bill was no expert in husbandry. The man was small where Bill was large. Bill was six-three and two hundred and fifty pounds. He had played tight-end in college and lorded his physical stature over small men all his life. He felt it gave him an advantage at contract negotiations. He always made sure to be sitting when the opposing lawyers walked in because his size was hidden. Then he would stand up from behind table—a great reveal, a physical imposition—in an effortless attempt to intimidate the other team. It was mostly an effective strategy. The man, nearly a foot shorter, and a petite lady’s-weight less was standing almost eye-level with Bill. He sheepishly looked at Bill and asked if he was happy now.

“I suppose so,” Bill answered, rather dazed and unaware of all that was happening. “Are you God?” asked Bill. The old man smiled knowingly and set his delicate hand on Bill’s shoulder. “What can I do to make you comfortable?” Bill attempted to stand up but the man’s hand held him in place without applying any extra force. “A scotch would be nice! Do they serve scotch in heaven?” he laughed. The man laughed and gave Bill a scotch.

“Let me tell you, God, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it! When do we go through the pearly gates?”

“I’m afraid you’ve seen too many Hollywood movies. That’s not how it works. Tell me, how was life on Earth?”

“Well, I guess you can tell by how I checked out it wasn’t great. But I am feeling better now. Sometimes you just need a good night’s sleep, I guess, right?”

“I guess so. You weren’t very happy down there. But that’s what I’m here for. You can fix it all now. Tell me, what went wrong in your life?”

“Wait, is this Purgatory then?”

He chuckled, “No. Don’t be silly. What went wrong down there?”

“I knew it—those nuns were all off. Well, for one, I worked too much. I spent 80, 90, 100 hours a week every week for years—hell, probably decades when you add it all up—in the office, chasing the ring, getting the promotion.” His thought broke and he looked at the man and said, “you know I cleared 950-k last year?” Sinking back into his thoughts, “but it wasn’t enough for her. She could give Cleopatra a run for her money. Man she could spend. I worked all the time, always on the road to a different client’s office, eating airport food, never exercising. Traded my health and youth for wealth, then she got to enjoy it. I ended up all alone in my big house, all by myself and my LonelyFans Platinum subscription. Look at me, I got so fat no pretty woman could stand to look at me. If I could do it again, I’d go back and just make 60k a year, keep my health, my good looks, and go to clubs every night and dance with beautiful women. I wasted so much.”

“Wow, thanks for being so honest, Bill. I’m glad you were honest, because now I can give you the chance to fix it. I am going to give you the opportunity to craft the life you always wanted, the life you dreamed of! This is your chance Bill, to do it right this time. You had a full life, you tried out things: some worked, some didn’t—that trip to Tokyo probably didn’t help your marriage, did it; but now that’s all behind, now you get to create the perfect one based on everything you learned. Now you get to play God to yourself. You will have the power to create any life you want: money, women, food, servants, power, glory, the revenge on everybody who did you wrong—anything.”

“Oh, Good Lord, heaven is even better than Mother Superior led on! I get to do that? Now?”

“Yes, I’m granting you this power. Total freedom to do what you want. You deserve it! You’ve earned it, Bill.”

“Ok, so what do I do? Just point and make something happen?”

“Sure,” he said with a chuckle, “everybody always wants to point at things like some Vegas magician. The entire creation was spoken into existence, but ever since Adam people want to point things into existence—whatever makes them happy, I guess. Anyway, you’ve got the power of the Lord, do it however you want!”

Bill pointed to a cloud in front of him and a new truck appeared before his eyes. “Holy moly, I can’t believe it’s real.” The sun reflecting off the chrome was just a big blur to Bill Rogers water-filled eyes. He had to squint to see that it had the turbodiesel engine he had imagined. “I’m not going to get carried away on the wealth. I learned my lesson there. It doesn’t buy happiness. I had eight digits in my savings account,” he looked to see if the man was listening, “and look at where that got me. No, just a simple life for me,” he pointed to a cloud and four-bed, three-bath house with in-law suite and three car garage next to a lush green lawn appeared. It fronted a cul-de-sac. “You can’t take it with you, right?” he laughed.

“Is that it, Bill? What else do you want?”

“Well, like I said, I want to be young and healthy.” His stomach disappeared into his abdominal muscles and the brown spots and wrinkles on his hands vanished into a smooth clear skin.

“And what are you going to do with your time? Go back to your old job?”

“Ohh, you got a good sense of humor, God!” The old man laughed along with Bill. “Like I said, I just want to live a normal life and go to the bars at night, talk to beautiful women. Dance with them, smile, laugh. Have fun, that’s all.”

“Your wish, is my command,” he said, and Bill asked if that is how it really worked, and the old man laughed: “no, but people really started to ask for it after Aladdin got big, so I started doing it.”

“You’re a real people-pleaser, aren’t you, God?”

The small man’s sheepish smile resurfaced and a faint pink tint rose up to his pale cheeks.

“That is it for now, enjoy your new life, Bill. I’ll be back to check on you after a while.”

“Thanks, God, you really are great.”

“Oh, wait, one more thing—I almost forgot. In your newly made, perfect, heavenly life— do you want your children here?”

Bill let out a huge laugh, “of course! How could I forget! Yes, of course, I want to see my children! Not every day—and don’t have the Queen of Sheba bring ‘em by either, if you know what I mean,” he nudged the old man with his elbow, almost knocking his small frame over, “but yes I always regretted not having more time with the kids.”

“Great, I’ll make that happen. I’ll be ba-a-a-a-a-ck,” he said as he turned around.

A door appeared out of nowhere and the old man glided over to it, with his sheepskin coat dragging behind him. The door opened and he walked through it. It began to close, but his coat got caught in the door, and he had to reach back and yank it through. As the coat flew up, Bill thought he saw the tip of a German Sheppard’s tail and wondered if the dog had been there all along, but soon didn’t care as he saw his new neighbor, a young blonde woman in yoga pants and high heels getting into her Mercedes coupe. He tried to get her attention, but she was focused on fixing her lipstick and hair in the mirror as she drove away.

Bill settled down into his new life, got comfortable in his small house and extended cab truck, and began going out to bars and clubs, just as he had imagined. Every night there was a bar to go to filled with beautiful women, and they all were happy to let him buy drinks and chat for a while. Sometimes he would invite one or two to dance and they’d agree, and then disappear with their friends. Other times he would meet a young woman in pub and talk to her; they’d laugh and joke and maybe she would give him her number and maybe not. But he never saw the same woman twice. If he called or texted a woman, she never responded. If he asked a woman if she’d like to go somewhere for coffee she always declined and said she had to get back home.

On the rare chance that a woman did sit down and talk with him, the conversation was always the same: polite introductions, niceties, some flirtatious exchanges. He tried to talk to the beautiful women about life, what they wanted, what mattered to them, but they all just said they liked to have fun to some degree or another.

After three weeks of going to the bars and trying to talk to women, Bill got tired of going out. He stayed at home for a week, then he tried to find his neighbor again. He saw her car in the drive and rang the doorbell, but nobody answered. He only ever saw her driving away.

After a couple slow weeks, he tried going out again, but it was the same routine: a few drinks, a few laughs, nothing to talk about and goodbye, never to be seen again. Bill sat in his truck in the garage and contemplated his after-life. He wiped a tear from his cheek and heard someone knocking on his front door. He let the old man in, and Bill sat down at the barstool.

“Can I take your coat?”

“No, I like to keep it on. I came by to see how you are doing?”

“This isn’t what I thought heaven would be like,” said Bill, hunched forward, hands between his legs, staring at the floor.”

“Heaven?” said the old man, looking up at Bill. “Where did you get that idea?”

“Who are you?”

The old man took off the sheepskin coat and Bill saw the gray and white fur all over his body. The gray tail dragged on the floor, and the old man’s face looked like the snout of a grey wolf.

“This is your own doing, Bill. You made the life you wanted. You’ve had two chances now. This one you are stuck with, forever. No escaping. No crying, no laying down in the back of your truck for eternal sleep. This is the eternal sleep.”

“This is hell.”

“Call it what you will.”

The wolf got down on all fours and walked to the door. “Can you let me out?”

Bill opened the door and the wolf ran outside, almost knocking over the two people walking up Bill’s sidewalk.

“What are you doing here,” he shouted at them.

“We came to see you!”

“No! Get away! Get out of here, go! Go!”

The woman was getting in her Mercedes and looked over to see what the ruckus was about, but then looked away before making eye contact.

“Dad, we missed you! So, we followed you here. The old man told us how to find you! He asked us what our perfect life would be, and we told him ‘we just want to be with our Dad.’”

***
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